#anyway! have some receipts. sorry this is so long!

[messrsrarchives]

You’re starting to act just like your fascist Reggie—censoring others and trying to dictate what can and cannot be discussed in fandom. Telling people they can’t talk about politics because you, living in a first-world country, can’t handle it? You’re the one using real-world politics to justify a fictional ship with a fascist. Have you thought about how people who are genuinely anti-fascist might also dislike it in fiction? You can’t control fandom. If you want to like fascist characters, then just own it. While fiction might not feel like reality to you, for many, it is reality. Have you considered that the characters and headcanons you enjoy might reflect deeply personal experiences for others? Not everyone has the privilege to separate fiction from reality like you do.

hi feed, this message was brought to you by someone who has clearly never interacted with me ever !

WDYMMM "telling people they can't talk about politics" 😭😭 i fear that's my ENTIRE niche across two social media platforms. i fear my entire thing is politics in a fandom space + the real world. i fear that's literally what i'm known for. what 😖

i was gonna ignore this but i have so many receipts that i thought okay ! finna answer ! why not, let's entertain this <3 (below the cut because it's long)

assuming that this is a response to this post where, after watching elon perform two nazi salutes on stage, i said "hey! maybe you should stop calling people in fandom nazis for reading about a fictional character!"

what i alsooo said on that post is that it's important to discuss politics in literature (see here: doing a masters degree in english literature + politics <3). because absolutely! the DEs are crafted in a way that reflects historic events and absolutely, that's something we can discuss!

what we should also discuss is that whilst art imitiates life and life imitates art, the two do not directly reflect one another - if i read about wizards, i am not a wizard. if i read a crime book, i am not a detective. and if i read fanfic about regulus black? i am not a facist.

in regards to the censorship comment: this here is an entireeee video i made about censorship and puritanical views in fandom spaces and why this is a Bad Thing To Do (though i fear you will disagree with it because i am saying that people can read and write whatever but alas, no censorship here x)

using real world politics to justify a ship? no, not at all. i do not think ships in fandom need to be "justified" because, again, they are fiction. can they be discussed? absolutely! my tiktok is @/messrsrobyn and you will find countless videos where i dissect fandom, characters and ships. again, this is kind of my whole thing <33 nice to meet you <33 but rather for me? that post was made as a building up of (1) the mass of people in fandom during the tiktok ban saying that words have meaning when american writers say british words "wrong", but throw buzzwords around like it's nothing and (2) this is a place for escapism and safety, which is needed now more than ever and whilst discussions about politics are important, this? this ask? this is not a discussion. this is hostility, much like people just commenting "nazi" with nothing else on a jegulus post.

discussions can be had! absolutely! my entire thing is discussions in fandom. but right now i'm trying to discuss this when you have given me nothing to work with but false claims and hostility - see how this doesn't work? but alas, i'll try :)

do people read jegulus and think "wow i love voldemort and the death eaters!!! i agree with what the did here :D" or do they read jegulus and enjoy the complexity that comes with a character like him? do they enjoy how, with a character with such little canon lore, people explore things? or yk what, do they sometimes read him as a muggle where none of this matter because there's do DEs? yeah, because it's fiction. and liking a fictional character does not have repercussions on the real world.

calling someone a facist/nazi only for teading about fictional characters does - it is so incredibly important that we read immoral literature. i'm rambling now but i'm not even talking just about fandom. we NEED books that discuss these topics and we need to explore the characters within them. we NEED politics and immorality and everything like that in books because that is how we learn, understand, and prevent. reading them does make you immoral - see here: queer books being banned in the us for containing "immoral themes" and main characters doing things they deem had and awful alongside INCREDIBLYYYY important books like the handmaids tale, to kill a mockingbird, 1984, fahrenheit 451 etc etc.

we need to read these. we need to engage with them.

but in a fandom space, we also need to acknowledge that these are not real people. these are fictional characters and there's a big difference between engaging with a character because you are justifying their actions, and engaging with a character because you enjoy Exploring their character and Understanding them in as many ways as possible 🙂↕️

but we agree!! whilst fiction may not feel like reality to some people, to many it is! so have we considered that when people come to escape from the real world for a bit, or people have family members lost to past regimes; are about to enter 4 years of another regime or are holding their breath waiting for european elections to see if another far-right populist party gets in, it might sucklk to have this thrown around?

imagine dealing with alllll of that in reality, not knowing what on earth is going to happen tomorrow or what the future holds for you and the people you love, and then being called a facist online because you read about Fictional Character Regulus Black. whilst your life literally crumbles apart because of it. you are now being called the same thing that the man oppressing you and everyone you love is, because you read FanFiction.

and then finally ahem:

"not everyone has the privilege to separate fiction from reality like you do"

if you click here, you will find a tumblr post i made about this exact thing :D about how we can't separate fiction from reality

see here also: a post about the books jkr publishes under the robert galbraith pseudonym and about how we, again, cannot separate fiction from reality.

if you click here you will find my jkr playlist on tiktok which has videos in about how, again, we cannot separate fiction from reality.

what we also can't do, mind you is call someone a facist for reading a fictional character.

there is big difference between "hey! this character has facist undertones if applied irl, we could discuss this!" and "You Are A Facist For Reading It"

instead of coming and ranting to someone who has spoken extensivelyyyy about politics in this fandom space - both with fandom material and with elections, gaza, the uk riots etc etc - and is a huge advocate of dicussions and debates, put this energy into something productive.

like actual facists. real world politics and what you could be doing at a local level to help reduce the harm of Actual Facists that are in power right now. not people taking a break from Actual Facism to read fanfiction.

ta x

(p.s i'm a homeless, chronically-ill, gay, trans man. what privilege do i have in THISSS fandom space of JK ROWLINGSSSSS worlds, to separate reality from fiction? 😭)

[cybersunnie]

knock, knock! who's there?

RAFE CAMERON sets his sights on the baker's granddaughter.

includes fem!baker!reader / reader has a nickname ("honey") / rafe being an unreliable narrator / dialogue heavy / offensive language ("bitch", one fatphobic comment not directed at reader) / wc 984

Every Wednesday, his dad would say, “Rafe, go get the door.” Make yourself useful. And like a dog, he often did as he was told. 

This little routine started right after Midsummer. Some sorry excuse of a bakery from the Cut captured Sarah’s attention, and she had been hooked ever since. Rafe didn’t understand why. Not in the slightest. There were more qualified bakeries in Figure Eight that weren’t made from the hands of dirty Pogues. He was sure their dad didn’t understand either, but if Sarah wanted something, Sarah got it. Always. 

But holy shit, this grandma was testing his patience. Knock! Knock! She had been knocking non-stop. Was she always this annoying? Rafe scratched his temple, his jaw tight. Knock! Knock! He rolled his eyes.

She sure must be in a hurry. He was surprised the old bitch was still alive, let alone walking. All frail and trembling and one step away from a heart attack. 

He hated that that would be his future. If he lived that long, that was.

Knock! Knock! “Yeah, yeah, coming!”

Rafe swung the door open. She was lucky she was an old lady because he would have—

Not an old lady.

No, it was just a lady. The baker's granddaughter, if he wasn't mistaken. He had seen you at the Midsummer, but you were a Pogue working, and he was a Kook celebrating.

His fingers loosened around the doorknob, his gaze locked on your face. For once, the voices were quiet. 

You stood on his family’s front porch, holding a box with a clipboard tucked under your arm. The wind picked up, sweeping past you and into his home. A scent of something sweet filled his nostrils. He couldn't tell if it came from the baked goods or you. 

With ease, you gave him a practiced smile. “Hey, I've got an order for Sarah. Two chocolate strawberry cupcakes and a half-dozen chocolate matcha cookies. Is she here?”

Rafe stared at you. "Uh, yeah. But you know, I'll pay for it."

He usually did, anyway—not by choice, but because his dad wanted him to.

"Okay, that'll be twenty-five dollars." You extended your hand.

"Twenty-five? It was twenty last week."

You tilted your head, still smiling. He knew how Pogues like you worked. It was a mask to hide your true intentions. "Inflation. Prices have gone up, so we had to adjust."

Skeptical, he looked you up and down. "Inflation, huh?"

You raised your brows. "You don't know what inflation is?" 

He scoffed, running his tongue along the inside of his cheek. He’d much rather deal with your grandma right now—at least she wasn't such a smartass.

Rafe reached for his wallet and grumbled, "I know what inflation is." He handed you the exact change. "You better not be lying, Pogue."

"I'd never lie to a loyal customer's brother," you assured, taking his money and offering the box of baked goods. He didn't believe you for a second. As he grabbed the package, you took out the clipboard from under your arm and faced it to him, clicking the pen. "Sign here, please."

He skimmed over the delivery receipt. “Am I gonna see you ‘round here more often?”

“Maybe. If your sister keeps buying.”

"Can I at least get a name?"

There was a pause. You could hear the birds chirping, and the leaves rustling. Rafe lifted his gaze to meet yours, waiting. 

You pulled the clipboard to your chest. "Everyone calls me Honey."

"Honey?" he huffed, a slight smirk tugging at his lips. "That's cute," he commented half-heartedly.

You hummed, and he swore he saw your professional composure slip. You looked annoyed—maybe even flustered. As he handed the pen back, his fingers brushed yours, the mere touch electrifying.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Sarah appeared behind him before the words could form, her voice cutting through the air, “And I’ll be taking this, thank you very much!” She snatched the box from his hands and flashed you a smile. “Hey, it’s you. Where’s your grandma?”

Rafe sighed through his nose. He had hoped to have you to himself.

He noticed your shoulders tense. "She's at home. Doing deliveries isn't easy for her nowadays."

No shit. That old bitch was pushing ninety. 

He stayed silent.

Sarah nodded, her lips pursed to the side. "Well, tell her Wheezie and I said thank you for the treats."

"Will do.”

He waited for you to meet his gaze, but when you did, he said nothing. Rafe simply watched. You had a pretty face for a Pogue. Soft and delicate, unlike your sharp tongue. What a waste.

Soon, your perfected customer service smile slipped. You turned around, murmuring something about Kooks under your breath as you walked away. He leaned against the doorframe, unable to help but notice the sway of your hips with every step you took.

His sister's voice snapped him back to reality. "What was that about?"

When he looked at her, she was already stuffing her face, a touch of frosting on the tip of her nose. There was a knowing look in her eyes. It pissed him off. 

Change the topic. Deflect. 

"You're gonna get fat if you keep ordering that shit."

Sarah shrugged. "Whatever." And just to spite him, she took a bigger bite and started walking towards the kitchen. "Wheezie! The cupcakes and cookies are here!"

Rafe ran a hand down his face, eyes finding your retreating form. 

Honey. Oh, how had he never noticed you before? 

You were always there. Midsummer. The Boneyard. It was too bad you lived in the fucking Cut because that meant you were just like them. Those Pogues—scrappy, uncivil, liars. Not even your pretty face could redeem that part of you. But maybe, just maybe, you were different.

Rafe shut the door softly, his hand lingering on the knob. He just needed to figure you out.

sunnie speaks! i love my baker!reader and how she makes him spiral <3 also, lmk what you guys think because idk how i feel about this LMAO i doubt i'm going to write a part 2, but i'm open to exploring this dynamic!!! let's chat about rafe cameron / baker!reader

if you like my work, consider following @sunniefics to stay up to date on all my future fics!

[darkmuffinstudios]

hello I just wanted to say I love your art and I think you're really cool and I was wondering who you think you draw the most?

I like seeing my favorite artists favorite characters compared to their most drawn ones and it's interesting when they're not the same ones

(sorry if I spelled anything wrong)

I hope you have a lovely day!

Oh, definitely Killer. Hands down.

He was in my notes and homework margins in school. He was on the excess receipt paper when I worked at my old job. He is my phone background, my music playlist cover that I drew for him. He was who I doodle as as warmup/just to draw.

He lives in my head 24/7, 365 /hj

Which is great because he is my favorite character <3

Like talk to any of my friends. Or just anyone that has generally been around me for about a week. He is my blorbo, at its truest form /lh

Have some examples, both recent and old:

(edit: it,,, got of my read more thingy,,,, sorry if this is super long guys,,,, idk how to get it back,,,)

yeah so i like him a normal amount guys i promise

anyways, with that being said, I'm pretty sure I doodle/draw Nightmare the second most? (And I mean he's a very close second to Killer)

Followed by Cross <3

[cameronspecial]

OMGGG, I woke up today and thought of smth. It's gonna take forever to make if you do make this, but..

Drew starkey and Y/N, they meet at a fancy restaurant like this GIF

And Y/N thinks he's cute and she's like there waiter or smth and Drew is out for dinner w the cast to celebrate season 4 starting and she's just like really smiley or smth, anywaysss. They get eachothers numbers and talk a bit later that night and she finds out he's a Actor and he played in OBX and what not so she starts watching it and they eventually get tg after more talking. IDK, I WANT IT TO BE LONG LOWKEY, OR CHAPTERS OF THEM MEETING AND TALKING, HE FINDS OUT SOME HOW THAT SHE STARTED WATCHING OBX OR A MOVIE HE PLAYED IN AND SHES ALL BLUSHING AND EMBARRASSED, IDK ITS SM TO ASK- PLSSSS PLSSSS PLSSSSSSSSS PLEASEEEEE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE😭🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

-Autumn

That's Him?!

Pairing: Drew Starkey x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.8K

Masterlist

Y/N has been texting Drew all day. She shouldn’t have slipped him her number last night, but he was too good of the match not to take the chance to get to know him better. The table he had sat at was big, filled with, who she assumed were, his co-workers. They were all polite and respectful, helping make her job easy by being patient and stacking their plates when they were done, yet he stood out to her even in the sea of faces. He was attractive, no doubt, and always caught her attention with the most charming smile. He would joke and try to make polite conversation as she served his table. So once the time for them to close their cheque came, she took the opportunity to write her number down on his receipt. It turns out, the feeling is mutual. 

I swear I didn’t know that Nair was a hair removal product. Logan didn’t believe me though. She giggles at his recounting of when he accidentally caused his brother to go bald, not noticing her sister’s arrival in the living room. 

The shift in the couch beside her causes Y/N to turn her sister. “Are you still texting that guy from last night?” Via inquires. Y/N bites her bottom lip to hide her smile, “Yeah. He’s really sweet.” “Well, hopefully, this turns into something more because you need to get laid. Anyways, I’m going to watch my show down here.” The older sister doesn’t say anything as her sibling picks up the remote and switches it to Netflix. 

Y/N continues her conversation with Drew, letting the show on the TV drown out in the background until a familiar voice sounds throughout the room. Her eyes flick up to the large screen and back down to her phone. She recognizes the buzz head and can’t believe his presence. She also doesn’t know why she never thought about asking him where he works. “That’s him?!” she yells, pointing at the screen. Via looks at her sister like she has grown two heads, “What are you talking about?”

“That’s Drew. That’s who I met yesterday and have been talking to.”

“Hold on, you are telling me that the Drew you have been talking to is Drew Starkey.”

“I guess.”

Via pauses the show and pulls out her phone. Her sister waits patiently as her sister types something in. The phone is turned in her direction and she looks at the various pictures of her new friend on the screen. “Yeah, that’s definitely him.”

———

After a few weeks of texting, Y/N and Drew finally set a date on their calendar. His hand rests on her lower back, leading her while the hostess shows them to their table. She sits across from him with a massive grin. His hand rests in the middle of the table and she reaches out to place her hand on his, almost knocking down her empty wine glass if it isn’t for his quick reflex. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes. “I guess I’m still feeling a little Kooky.” Her eyes glance towards his face to see if he reacts to her teasing. His face remains stoic as he tries to figure out if she used the word for the reason he thinks she did. She recognizes his attempt and pushes it even more by going over the menu. 

“I wonder if they have any fish. I’m in the mood for menhaden or as it is otherwise known as pogue.” 

Certain that the jig is now up, he sets his menu down to give her his full attention. “So you know?” he confirms. She nods, “Yes, I found out a few weeks ago when my sister was watching the show in the living room. How come you didn’t tell me?” He sighs, playing with the hoop in his ear. “I didn’t want you to treat me differently. Or for you to be scared of entering a relationship with me because I travel a lot for work and sometimes get followed by a crowd of fans.”

 She gives his hand a soft squeeze. “I understand why you would fear those things, but I promise you don’t have anything to worry about. You are still plain old Drew to me and I have a thick skin from being a waitress, I think I can handle a few teenage girls.” 

He gives her a thankful smile and holds his hand up to her, “Why don’t we start over? I’m Drew Starkey. I act for a living and I think you are the most beautiful girl I have seen. I would love it if you would go on a date with me. She giggles and takes his hand. “Nice to meet you, Drew. I’m Y/N. I wait tables and I would love to go on a date with you.” 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld

[dexastres]

temporary heart, aurélien tchouaméni

face claim : serena page

summary : aurélien fell for maiya, the barista at his local coffee shop

warnings : aurélien being a matcha hater

wc : 870

notes : i didn't want to publish it cause of the game, but i'm doing this for the girlies.

Aurélien tightened his coat against the cold wind that swept through the city. Autumn had settled in Madrid, much to the joy of some, but not his. The Frenchman would have liked summer to last a little longer.

“I’ll never understand her love for this season.” The young man thought, before sighing. As he walked towards his car, Aurélien passed a café whose name immediately struck him. The bold letters on the sign brought a flood of memories.

“Moca Loca... I haven’t been there in a while.” A bittersweet smile appeared on his face as he walked past, only to turn around moments later. For some unknown reason, he decided to stop there, despite what the little voice in his head was telling him. As he stepped inside, a wave of nostalgia washed over him. Nothing had changed since the last time he’d been there, or almost.

“Hello, what would you like today?” Aurélien glanced at the menu, although it was useless because he would end up ordering the same thing. 

“I’d like a medium iced coffee with two pumps of vanilla and a chocolate chip muffin, please.” A vague feeling of emptiness came over him. This was his regular order, but something—or someone—was missing.

“Sure! And can I have a name for the order?” 

“Aurélien.” The barista nodded, rang up his order and handed him a receipt.

“Perfect. It won’t be long. Feel free to grab a seat while you wait.” She said with a smile. Aurélien nodded and sat by the window, waiting for the barista to call his name. Sitting there, the young man watched the people outside, rushing by or lost in their thoughts, like him. His mind wandered back to the first time he came to this café.

That day, he had just dropped Jude off at his place when he saw the sign on his way back. The Englishman had mentioned this place before, because he used to go there almost daily with his ex-girlfriend.

Curious, Aurélien went inside. The moment he entered, the barista, busy wiping down the counter, caught his eye because of her beauty. He must have arrived just after the morning rush, since plates were still on tables and the air felt thick with a lingering humidity. Not wanting to bother the young woman, Aurélien just stared at the menu, trying to figure out what to order. Everything looked delicious, except the matcha. He hated that drink and never understood the craze for it.

“I really don’t know what to get.” He muttered under his breath, hoping not to draw attention, which was a failed mission because the barista heard him. She glanced up, tossed the rag she was holding and apologised to Aurélien. The Frenchman flashed her a smile before looking back at the menu, still unsure of what to choose.

“Hey... sorry, it's my first time here, but what’s the best drink you serve here? ” Aurélien asked shyly, scratching the back of his neck. The barista laughed softly, which sounded like music to Aurélien’s ears. Before she could reply, Sasha, her colleague, appeared from the back.

“Maiya, you can go on break,” Sasha said. “By the way, where’s your name tag?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. Maiya shrugged nonchalantly in response.

“Somewhere in my bag. I only had time to put on my apron before the whole city showed up. But anyway, I’ve got a customer right now, so I’ll go on break later.” Maiya then turned back to Aurélien with a smile.

“To answer your question, our best drink is matcha.” The Frenchman rolled his eyes, which the barista noticed, and she felt slightly offended by his reaction. 

“I’m guessing you’re not a big fan of matcha. What a shame, you’re missing out on something good.” She said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, was it that obvious?” Aurélien replied in the same tone. The two of them stared at each other silently for a moment before bursting into laughter.

Maiya didn’t typically engage in chats with customers, at least not like this. However, she felt like she could talk with him for hours. Aurélien was different from most of the men who came to the café. He didn’t try to flirt with her or make inappropriate remarks. He just gave off good vibes and had a great sense of humour, despite his dislike for her favourite drink.

“I can make you an iced coffee, unless you don’t like that either. I can also add vanilla if you’d like.”

“I’ll take two pumps of vanilla in my iced coffee, and I’ll have a chocolate chip muffin too, please.” A lingering tension hung in the air, so much so that Sasha retreated to the back because she felt like a third wheel. Maiya didn’t know why she felt so drawn to this man, but she hoped he would come back to the café. 

“Okay, and can I have a name for the order?”

“Aurélien.” Maiya felt her heart skip a beat. She could listen to him repeat his name countless times without getting tired.

“Perfect. It shouldn’t take long, but feel free to have a seat while you wait.” The young woman said with a smile. Aurélien sat at a table near the window.

[sturniozo]

Savage Love Part Ten

Matt Sturniolo x reader Mafia AU

masterlist

“What happened at work, dollface?” He asked me.

“I… I kinda… got fired.” I mumble.

“Why?” He asks as his hand caresses my cheek.

“There was something my editor wanted me to do and I told him I couldn’t and-“

“Did he try to sleep with you?” Matt asks sternly. “I swear to god I’ll-“

“What? No it was an article I didn’t want to do.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t want to do the article and he said without that article I contribute nothing of substance to the paper so he fired me…”

Matt kisses my forehead and wraps his arms around me. “What was the piece about?” He asks as he nuzzles his face against my hair.

I bite my lip. I can’t tell him the article was about him, he’d think our whole relationship is a lie. “He wanted me to do an exposure piece. I just don’t feel comfortable ruining people for no good reason. I think there’s a difference between exposing actual bad people and just plain outing people’s personal lives.”

Matt kisses my head once again. “I bet you were the best writer they had. That papers gonna go to shit now. No one will read it anymore.”

I laugh softly and cuddle closer to him. “My pieces barely made it into that paper anyways.”

“I’ll find you a better paper to work at, okay babydoll?”

“You don’t need to find me a job Matt, I can do that myself.”

“I’d rather you have a job you can work from home from though, that way I can keep an eye on you.”

“Matt, no offense, but that was creepy.” I turn to him and laugh softly. My smile fades when I see the serious look on Matt’s face.

“I’d just prefer it if I knew where you were and that you were safe.” Matt shrugs and kisses my temple again. “I have some things to take care of here in a bit baby, so I’m gonna order you some lunch.”

“What do you have to take care of?” I ask. I bite my lip as I realize I don’t need to ask these questions for my job anymore. I just want to know him.

Matt sighs. “There’s a shipment coming in from Italy and I need to make sure they brought everything I paid for so that I can distribute it to my consumers.”

I blink. “What’s the shipment of?”

Matt shakes his head. “I’m sorry dollface but that’s need to know.” He kisses my head. “Let’s order you food now.” He pulls out his phone to order food online.

“It’ll be here soon. I have to go babydoll, I have to be at the airport in an hour.” Matt gets up from the couch. “Make sure you eat. And feel free to explore and look around. You’re gonna be here for a little while you might as well get used to the place.” Matt gives me a quick kiss on the lips before leaving.

I sit on the couch for a minute pondering what to do. I hear Matt’s car leave and I shrink back against the couch. It feels so uncomfortable to be alone is his big home. I look around the living room. Behind the couch is one of multiple pool tables in the house, and near the corner of the room is a poker table.

The tv is huge, like one from a theater. It sits above a beautiful mantel that looks like hand chiseled stone. The beautiful creation had carved roses and thorn filled vines that line the edges.

I must have been admiring the mantel for a long time since I hear the doorbell ring. It catches me off guard and I flinch and my leg slips off the couch.

I get up and head towards the front door. I open it to see a delivery man holding a bag.

“Delivery for Sturniolo?” He says and I nod. He hands me the bag and the receipt before turning around and leaving without a word.

I close the door and go to the dining room to set the bag of food down in the table. The interaction itself was weird, not like any one I’ve had with a delivery man. I look at the receipt to see what Matt had ordered and see the special instruction.

‘Don’t mess with the girl.’

I roll my eyes and set the receipt down on the table.

After eating a bit of the lunch I decided to walk around. I’m mostly curious what I could find. Even though I’m not on the piece about him anymore I’m still interested to know if he really is the Mafia boss or if this is all just misconstrued information.

I walk up the stairs and through the hallway. Most of the doors have been locked, the only one I’m able to get into is Matt’s bedroom. So I start there.

I have already seen most there is to see in Matt’s bedroom. But the door that leads to his office is still unseen by my eyes. I turn the knob, a little surprised it isn’t locked. I open the door just a bit and bite my lip.

Should I be doing this? Would Matt know? I swallow the saliva building up in my mouth from nerves and I enter the office. I turn in the light to see everything, but there’s almost nothing to see. Just a desk and a seat. There’s no papers or a computer, do extra storage drawers, no decorations of any kind. Just a desk and a chair.

The desk and chair looks like the ones you’d think your rich uncle would have. Beautiful maroon wood desk and a matching color leather desk chair.

I go to close the door when something catches my eye. Something under the desk. I walk closer and look under the desk and pick up the small metal key. I look around for a lock of some sort, something that the key must open.

Why would this be in the floor? I look through the drawers of the desk, all of them empty, except when I get to the bottom one. I open it and a gun slides around the drawer from the force of me opening it. I gasp slightly and immediately close the drawer.

I stand up and look around. Where did the key go? And where did it come from? There’s no way he just left it on the floor, is there? And why would he have an empty office with nothing but a gun?

Maybe Emma was right, I was being naive, and I shouldn’t have trusted Matt. Things do add up to him being in the Mafia.

But that’s not how you gather information, you can’t start with your conclusion and work backwards to prove it. No, I need proof of it.

But I don’t need proof anymore. I keep forgetting I stopped with that piece. I turn around and look over the walls. I trace my fingers over the wallpaper until I feel a dent in the wall covered by the wallpaper.

I take a breath. I can’t cut through the paper, Matt will notice and know I snooped. I bite my lip and trace along the dent, just to get an idea of how big the dent it.

I trace it up above my head and then back down to the floor. It seemed to be the outline of a door. Maybe that’s what the key unlocked?

But why would the key be on the floor? And why would the door be covered with the wallpaper? I shake my head. I shouldn’t do this. I set the key back down under the desk where I found it and leave the office, shutting the light off behind me.

I sit on the bed still unsure what to do. After a moment of thinking I walk out of his bedroom and walk along the hallway to where his office wall would be. I go to open a door that should lead to the room next to his office, but it’s locked.

I immediately go back through his bedroom and to his office, grabbing the key and going back out to the door. I take a deep breath before I slip the key into the lock.

I turn the key and the lock click. I turn the knob and open the door. The room is dark so I reach around the wall feeling for a light switch. When I finally find it I flick it on, and gasp at what I see.

I quickly close the door behind me and run down the hall and down the stairs. I rush to the front door and open it, just in time to see a car pull up. My breath hitches and I shut the door, hoping whoever it was didn’t see me.

I go back to the living room but remember how I left the room. I quickly go back up the stairs and go back to the room, shut off the light, then close and lock the door. I run to put the key back under his desk where I found it. By the time I’m leaving Matt’s bedroom I hear the front door open.

From upstairs I can hear the sound of two guys talking to each other, sounding like they’re bickering. My feet stay planted in place in Matt’s bedroom, unable to move.

Neither voice sounds like Matt’s which makes my heart race in my chest. I swallow the saliva building up in my mouth and slowly creep tears the door of the bedroom. I hear the guys make their way up the stairs and I see their faces.

They look just like Matt. Then I remember Matt telling me he was a triplet and lived with his brothers when we were on a date once.

I step backwards and the floor creaks. The guys stop talking and I stand paralyzed in fear. Do they know I’m here? Did Matt tell them anything?

My questions are answered when I hear one of them say “I bet it’s that girl Matt’s been with.” And then the footsteps get closer to the door. I sit down on the bed, now unable to stand as the anxiety builds up inside me. The door opens and I see the two guys fully.

They really do look almost just like Matt. I stare up at them and my heart races. “Matt said you’d be here.” One of them says. “I’m Chris, this is Nick,” he nods his head towards the other guy “we’re Matt’s brothers. You must be y/n then?”

I nod slowly.

“Matt’s told us about you. He said you’re staying here while he has your place checked for- ow!”

Nick interrupts Chris by kicking his leg. “Dude,” Nick motions to me. He mouths something to Chris and Chris seems to have a moment of realization.

“Just make yourself at home and… Nick and I will be in the living room if you need anything.” Chris says before leaving.

I let out a breath and stare at the ground. How am I supposed to leave with those two here? And how am I supposed to stay after what was in that room?

Tags: @stargirlsturniololover @sturniolobessed @eyelessdemon00 @sturnioloenthusiast @sturniolopookie @urmommysbathroom @qwertytit @whatever1021 @chrisfavoritepepsi @stramboli4life @sturniolosreads @timmyscomputer @iloveneilperry @chrisloyalgf @xxsadlovexx @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @nickmillersn1gf

[9w1ft]

I'm a gaylor myself so this isn't coming from a place of hate but I really don't think karlie and taylor are still together, I think taylor still references her in her art and probably will for quite some time because that relationship -- whatever the nature of it was -- left such a deep impact on her. but I really can't see them still being together, I think she's forced herself to move on from karlie and has since dated a lot of other women. that doesn't mean her feelings for karlie have faded, just that they will probably always be there but they broke up for sure before 2019, I think. folklore and evermore, midnights even, are all breakup albums, I just can't see how they could still be together. especially all her anger and sadness in those songs that are thought of to be for karlie (like my tears ricochet or exile or mad woman) also the cover art being shoot in bedfords, new york, the exact same place where karlie got married feels more like taylor revisiting this place to really say goodbye and mourn her for one last final time so she can move on

sorry, this got a bit long, I just don't understand the appeal or the reasoning for lsk's because taylor has indicated so many times that they are over, she's been mourning her relationship with karlie quite publicly since 2019 (wearing all black during the lover era) so yeah

hi! i don’t usually respond to these but i’m not sensing any ill will so i’ve decided to give a reply a go.

first off, for me, i kinda just interpret her wearing black in the back end of lover era because her masters had gotten bought by scooter. and maybe the fact that she decided to not come out. there can be other reasons, but i really do not think that her breaking up with karlie has to be one of them.

another thing i can’t shake is the fact that it was a very notorious troll/manipulative person on tumblr who spread the first rumor that they broke up in 2019, a fact that is well understood by a lot of OG’s, and this troll got in the head of a few popular kaylor and gaylor swift accounts at the time and in doing so she got a lot of people to fold. she then went on to write all this progressively unhinged fanfiction about taylor and karlie trying to make one another jealous and sleeping with all these women, presented with the same level of seriousness with which she pushed the breakup agenda. even to this day, i see present day gaylors talk about stuff that stems from narratives this account and a few other power hungry accounts spread around many years ago and it honestly just goes to show how a lot of well known gaylors may be platformmed up but that don’t really know what they’re talking about.. i only write this because the troll deactivated about a year ago (maybe they’re lurking on platforms with more malleable minds—once a troll always a troll—but at least they’ve left here), they were a really dangerous person.. and several have wild receipts to prove it.

anyways sorry i recognize that’s a tangent, i guess what i mean to say by it is, a lot of the sentiment surrounding the idea of a 2019 breakup and the reinforcement of the narrative by a gaylor community none the wiser stems from the work of someone with disingenuous intentions. a lot of “masterposts” or “realistic timelines” draw from what this person made up and it’s gone through enough filters for it to seem like credible sentiment but like, if you were there and you read all of what she wrote you know how silly it all sounded and how incoherently it was all written.

okay so to circle back to more of a content-centric angle, in my interpretation of the events that gave us folklore, evermore, and midnights, taylor had so much to be sad about. her mom had been very sick, the pandemic arrived and she had to cancel lover fest, she had to come to terms with scott b having sold her work to her sworn enemy… songs on midnights and folklore, and on her lover era apple music playlist allude to certain other things that may have had her in a mournful mood. things were bad! and i don’t doubt that her and karlie have been through a lot. but for me, when you’ve got a ride or die love, you don’t just break up. this has been something frustrating for me and others, i think, to see so many people treat a relationship as either being all systems go or broken up, as if long term partners can’t experience sadness together, difficulty together, even heartbreak together.

i don’t like getting in to touchy subjects so much but there’s just been too much pointing towards what i consider to be a rather simple narrative that is a natural progression for people committed and in love. how did the lover music video begin and end? whats a randomly specific word in a song she performed at the grammys minutes after someone was announced to the world? what about taylor’s envisioned future stands out about the anti hero music video? i think i’ll stop here but idk man 😆 poke around my archive if you feel like wasting a few days of your life… there’s just been a consistent flow of the same kind of hijinks that we’ve seen from them for years, and i’d say that there are many songs that back up everything i’d want in order to stay invested in seeing if what i believe is true.

now, i know i just wrote what reads like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to people not following kaylor. but im okay with that. i’ve accepted that. and i know that the whole patterns and koincidences and twinning and symbolism beat isn’t for everyone and so i respect people’s decisions to believe they aren’t together, but in closing i’ll just say im sometimes at a loss to see time and time again people suggest that kaylors believe in kaylor because they find it appealing or because they want to ship it. when it’s literally not that— it just makes the most sense to a lot of us!

also, does this look like the face of someone mourning?

[jujutsubaby]

after hours (part 5)

☆ pairing: satoru gojo x afab!reader ☆ summary: after your wild night with toji, you're forced to return back to reality. and by reality, you mean geto and gojo's house party. you're so tired, but nothing a few shots won't fix :) wait, hold on, who's that girl gojo is all over? wait, are you...jealous? ☆ warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI! implications of sex, moderate to heavy drinking, partying, jealousy, sexting, over the shirt action, kissing, y/n and other characters get high/drunk/crossed and horny lol ☆ tags: modernAU, academiaAU ☆ a/n: HAPPY VDAY BABES xx 💜🖤💜🖤 sorry it's been a while since i updated this series (i got my period and then had lots of werk to do but im BACK). hope u guys enjoy some gojo and reader sexual tension >:) also to the anon who sent the passive aggressive msg about me not updating after hours...hope ur happy now 😒 🖤🤍 series masterlist 🤍🖤

“morning, riko!” you greet the raven haired barista sleepily, “iced cappuccino with soy milk, please.”

“what…are you sure?” riko says, her face surprised. you always order your signature iced matcha latte with oat milk, unsweetened of course. riko knows it, every one knows it. 

“yeahhh, i know. i just had a late night and then an early morning…” you groan. you won’t lie — you feel like you just got hit by a thousand trucks and your eyes are stinging (and probably red from the lack of sleep). “i’m bad at time management,” you confess sheepishly.

riko giggles. “not as bad as your friend trying to order a latte and pretending he likes it”. you sneak a glance at geto, who’s taking a sip of his americano and grimacing at the taste, which makes you smile at his lovesick gesture. “does he know we have other beverages?”

“ehh, i think he does but…he’s just trying to impress a very pretty girl who works here,” you say, trying your best to be obvious…but not too obvious that geto would be upset.

“oh my god, y/n! you know kuroi is happily engaged!” riko jokes, laughing lightly. 

“oh darn, i have to break the bad news to suguru…he’s gonna be sooo upset,” you say sadly, pretending to wipe away a false tear dramatically, as riko rings you up for your order. just then, you think of something awful that suguru would definitely kill you for, but you’re already pretty bold for wearing the same outfit from last night that you got fucked in and showing up 30 minutes late to meet your friends, so fuck it. 

“speaking of which, riko…are you doing anything tonight?”

“besides closing up…nope.” she answers. 

“well, a bunch of us are going to the new barcade that opened up downtown this evening. i’m thinking around 9, think you can make it? you can tell suguru himself to lay off kuroi,” you joke jovially. 

riko laughs heartily. “i’ll see you guys there”, she says, handing you your receipt, as you wave goodbye and head to your friends in the corner table. you try not to act flummoxed as you approach your friends, suddenly acutely aware of the how your hair was all over the place (why doesn’t toji own a hairbrush?) and that your jumpsuit was clearly wrinkled and that you hadn’t been able to take a shower yet. god, this was not your sexiest look. 

“do they usually allow walk of shames in this cafe? i thought it this was a safe space?” satoru grins, already thinking of 30 ways to roast you for showing your face here after being 30 minutes late. he’s trying to push away any thoughts of you getting fucked by toji out of his head. 

“shut up! i…i didn’t bring any extra clothes and i woke up late, okay!” you say, defending yourself earnestly. 

“leave her alone, satoru,” suguru chastises, as he scoots down a chair to make room for you. “anyway, why were you talking to riko for such a long time? did she…say anything? it’s my haircut isn’t it? i just wanted to trim the bangs a little bit but they went sooo overboard and now-“

“oh my god suguru, chill!” shoko says, rolling her eyes. “he hasn’t been able to shut the fuck about riko and it’s so annoying that me and satoru are thinking of just asking her out on his behalf, at this point.” suguru tries hard to hide a blush before trying to deflect, but you interrupt them both. 

“no need,” you say, turning to face suguru, “you can ask her yourself what we talked about…tonight. at the barcade.” you smile wide with your teeth and give suguru pleading eyes, hoping he won’t get upset with you for taking the liberty to speed run his first date with riko. 

his face immediately is unreadable, and satoru elbows his ribs hard and hits his back. “congrats, pal! you finally have something to look forward to tonight that isn’t on your nintendo switch.”

“yeah. i mean…i d-don’t care. at all. i mean…good for her for coming. i don’t know if i’ll even be there but if i see her then i see her. no big deal…” suguru says, mostly to himself. 

everyone at the table laughs, and you find your initial weariness of your extended walk of shame slowly melt away. you take a sip of your cappuccino, as utahime complains about how tired she is from playing animal crossing with shoko all night. you feel soft thinking about how utahime probably stayed up later than her usual early bedtime for shoko, knowing full well she has to wake up at 7am the next morning for both getting coffee and teaching her 1st period homeroom at the local high school. shoko has been recently trying to fix her sleep schedule from her night float rotation all junior residents had to do at the hospital their third year. 

“also, before i forget, pre-game at ours at 7. we’re inviting nanami and haibara and some other people,” satoru says absentmindedly, his eyes focused on responding to a text on his phone before turning and facing you. “you’re still good on giving me a ride to lab today, right y/n?” 

oh shit. “oh, umm, yeah, definitely still good with that.” you say quickly. you don’t exactly remember when you offered to give satoru a ride, but you assume it was one of the many times you tuned him out when he spoke. who’s satoru texting? the intrusive thought came out of nowhere, but you push the newfound irritation back where it came from. 

satoru and you walk back to your car while you both lament about how awful this week’s lab has been. “i mean, why even give us a lab when we have a final in like less than a week?” you say exasperatedly, as you search for the keys to your cream white mini cooper and unlock it. 

“speak for yourself, i finished that lab last week.” satoru boasts, grinning at your when you give him a confused look. “i’m only going to help the cute girls in class with their work.” he shrugs. what a slag. 

“you’re a whore,” you scoff, slightly annoyed at satoru. so he has time to help some random cute girl in class but not his best friend. you buckle in, and take pleasure in watching satoru struggle to situate his legs inside your tiny cramped car. his knees are bent at awkward angles, and his head practically touches the roof of the car. 

satoru groans loudly and dramatically. “you have the smallest fucking car in the world, y/n, y'know that?” 

“fits me perfectly,” you say nonchalantly, as you back up and drive out to campus. 

“well it baaareeelyyyy fits me,” he pouts, the sun visor bumping his head while he pulls it down. 

“it’s not even that tight,” you assure him.. 

“it’s very tight, y/n. i can feel the walls squeezing me.”

“get over it.” 

“oh, so it’s okay if toji says that to you but when i say it, it’s a fuckin’ problem?” 

you practically choke on your saliva and swerve into the other lane upon hearing satoru’s comment. “h-how did you know…he said that to me?” you say incredulously. there’s no way he like…hacked your phone or something right? maybe you accidentally butt dialed shoko last night and they all heard you moan god knows what. the storm of thoughts in your head is interrupted by satoru’s laughter. 

“i didn’t know he said that but now i do.” oh, god. you fell for it like a fucking idiot, y/n. you try to retort something back but you’re left speechless. actually you’re a bit impressed — satoru got that out of you masterfully, and you have to appreciate the tact (or perhaps lack thereof) he had. you try to be angry towards him, but it’s futile as you both start laughing. 

“i hate you — stop making me laugh it’s not funny i need to focus on the road, idiot,” you say in between giggles. your eyes stay fixed on the road as you playfully flick satoru’s head (he lets you — your laughter makes his heart beat faster and he ignores it). satoru grabs your hand with his and starts rubbing your fingers together in an effort to warm them up. 

“you’re hands are so cold all the time…” he murmurs. to him, it feels so natural to play with your hands, and you let him (his touch brings an undetectable heat to your face…and other parts of your body). you look steal quick glance over at him, and are overcome with a sudden and foreign shyness that instinctually forces you to retract your hand back to the wheel almost immediately. you clear your throat, before announcing to satoru that he was here. 

satoru’s knees and joints crack as they are finally released from the prison of your mini cooper, and he dramatically lets out a sigh of relief. he gets out of the car and makes a show of stretching his long legs and arms. his collegiate basketball crewneck slides up, and you catch a glimpse of his toned abs and happy trail. you hope he doesn’t hear your breath hitch before snapping out of the trance and rolling your eyes. “have fun harassing the cute girls in your class!” you say sarcastically, as he flips you off before heading to class. 

during your drive back home, you don’t want to process the familiar feeling you felt last night when satoru texted you before you had sex with toji. the thoughts you had of him choking you and kissing your while toji played with your titties. oh god, you’re thinking about it again! stop it!

your neck aches from staring at your laptop screen for the last two hours as you try to make going out tonight worth it by studying extra for your final exam next week. your neck cracks loudly in all the right places and you head straight for a quick hot shower. you practically moan when the hot water hits your scalp, and allow the water to wash away all the stickiness of your complicated relationship with toji and satoru. tonight’s just for having fun and not doting on the future, you tell yourself, but not before taking a look at your soapy chest and thinking this is just the perfect picture for toji to see. you quickly snap a pic, promising yourself you won’t be one of those desperate girls toji always brings over to his house. 

y/n: [1 Photo] hi :)

okay, you know you had just sent the photo to toji, but it did kind of break your heart that he didn’t immediately respond. okay, sure he’s a single dad so he might be busy…or he’s fucking some other girl. your heart drops slightly at the thought of him blowing some other unsuspecting girl’s back out, and the sadness quickly turns to annoyance. you’re better than this, y/n. who cares anyway — no one sucks dick like you do. you smirk. you definitely aren’t the type of girl who would hook up with anyone, but you know how to not sell your skills short. if toji was busy with his own life, well, so were you. 

you hop out of the shower, checking your phone once again to see if toji had responded, only to be met with a text from satoru in the group chat:

satoru: [1 Photo] got the goods 😛

you open the photo to see him with a couple packs of white claws, and suguru in the background looking intently at two wine bottles in his hands. no way is satoru’s lightweight ass is gonna make through even one can before getting sloshed, you think to yourself. 

shoko: what’s sugu doing?

satoru: deciding on what wine to get for riko lmfao 

you can’t help but smile at how cute suguru was, being so nervous for something that wasn’t even a formal first date. 

y/n: awww 🥹 get the rosé bby 

shoko: y/n if ur ass isn’t ready in 10 mins i s2g i’m gonna leave without u

you scrunch your nose and throw your phone on the bed — if you really hurry you could easily be out your door in fifteen. after thinking for five minutes, you decide on a classic little black skirt with a slit on the side paired with a lace cropped bralette (that honestly really did wonders to your boobs). you wore an oversized leather button down shirt, sheer black tights, and a pair of black gogo boots. you quickly fixed up your hair, figuring that “wet” look was already trendy anyway. after applying your makeup at the speed of light (you went for a subtle yet sultry neutral look), you grab your little purse and sprint out your room, and see that shoko was staying true to her word, as she was just about to head out the door. she sees you, stops, and grins. 

“you barely made it,” she teases, as she holds the door open for you. 

“you bitch.” you respond, rolling your eyes. “is utahime meeting us there?”

“yes she’s already there,” shoko says, not looking up from her phone as she calls an uber. so that’s why she’s been dying to get out of the house so impatiently. 

as both of you get into the uber, shoko pulls out two gummies from her purse and offers one to you. “pregame the pregame?” she says, and you both start giggling as you pop the gummy in your mouth. it’s probably not going to hit for a while, which leaves you plenty of time to get there and say your greetings to nanami and haibara before you get extremely crossed. you check your phone one last time, only to be met with no texts from toji. 

“thanks for the ride!”, shoko yells out as the uber driver speeds away. 

“umm, i’ve never been to oovoo javer…”, you say through giggles uncontrollably. oh, fuck. this must’ve been one of those fast acting gummies. shoko must have been feeling the effects too because she starts laughing noiselessly and you both are doubling over outside of satoru and suguru’s apartment, grabbing each other for support so you both don’t fall from how much you both are laughing.

the door of the boys’ apartment flies open and it’s some couple open mouth kissing each other, stumbling their way out of the confines of the living room rager that lied ahead for both of you. you and shoko both bit back another giggling fit before stepping in. suddenly, two arms engulfed both of you in a strong yet familiar bear hug. 

“himeee~” you hear shoko greet cheerfully. 

utahime hiccups, already a bit tipsy. she pouts jokingly before shoko kisses her cheek and you squeeze her torso back in another bear hug. “you bitches are awful for leaving me with dumb and dumber…” she says, punctuating her words with hiccups. 

“i’m sorry, 'hime. let’s grab a drink. i also packed you a joint,” shoko apologizes before utahime drags the both of you to the kitchen for a drink. in the kitchen, you find nanami slouching against the fridge, looking annoyed as ever, and haibara animatedly talking to some lower class men. haibara locks eyes with you and immediately turns and embraces you in a warm hug, while nanami manages a shoddy wave. 

"ahhh my favorite little babiessss~" you squeal, pulling both guys closers to you and giving them a strong hug. you always get very touchy and sentimental when under the influence. "i haven't seen you guys in sooooo long!"

"please let go, y/n." nanami says calmly, but not before briefly squeezing you back for what felt like half a second. wait a minute -- what the hell is nanami doing here? he never comes to these things.

"wait why are you he-"

"save it," nanami interrupts, running his fingers through his hair. "i'm only here because i wanted a referral to the lab gojo works at, and he said yes but that i needed to come over this evening so he could ask me some questions regarding the referral application."

"oh, yeah! what questions did he want to ask you?" haibara asks quizzically.

nanami takes an even deeper sigh. "i showed up and he asked if i wanted to take a shot and when i sad 'no just ask me what you need for the referral', he was like 'that's the question, do you want a shot?' and that's how i got fucking tricked into coming to this godforsaken rager." nanami seems truly miserable having fallen for satoru's scheme so easily. "anyway...given the circumstances, i did take a shot..." he groans, slowly sliding down the fridge onto the kitchen floor.

you and haibara laugh, and utahime hands you a white claw. you open the chilled can, and take a sip, your hazy state of mind helping you not feel the slight burning in the back of your throat.

"speaking of that idiot, where is he?" you ask, your eyes scanning the room for his bright white hair. you frown not seeing him anywhere, but your face quickly relaxes when you see suguru and riko heading to you and your friends. oh nice, suguru finally managed to ask riko to come to the pregame, too.

"hey riko!" shoko greets, "didn't expect to see you here..." she teases.

riko giggles and take a sip of her wine. "i couldn't say no to seeing my favorite customers!" she steals a quick glance up at suguru and you swear you see him blush. "also, this wine suguru picked out is amazing! how did you know i love rosé?"

you bite back a smile, making quick eye contact with suguru. "oh...lucky guess..." he shrugs, playing it off nonchalantly.

"oh by the way, i got a joint for us to share," shoko says, pulling it out of her bag. "anyone interested in puff puff passing?" she asks, already holding utahime's hand and heading to the balcony. suguru and riko follow suit, and you quickly bid nanami and haibara farewell.

as you turn around, you bump into the man you've been looking for, wearing the same basketball collegiate crewneck, white hair disheveled, and a drunken flush to his face.

you don't even get to say hello to satoru as he lifts you up in a giant hug that encompasses you and spins you around, making you squeal. you can't help but wrap your legs around him, knowing full well you probably shouldn't since your skirt was not long enough for it, but you needed to feel the warmth and comfort of his body around yours. you always got a bit too touchy feely when you were under the influence...

"eeep satoru~ put me down!"

"nope, missed ya", he mumbes into your hair. oh, he's definitely drunk right now. sober satoru would never openly admit something like that and it makes you giggle.

"please~ my skirt is too short for this ahh~" you plead, unwrapping your legs from his torso, all of sudden feeling embarrassed through the warm haze engulfing your body. satoru finally puts you down and shamelessly eyes you up and down while taking large sips of his beer.

"that skirt can definitely be shorter," he says cheekily, his blue eyes filled with drunken mischief. you roll your eyes dramatically and also take a sip of your claw.

"you're drunk, satoru..."

"and you need to get drunker!" he yells, already grabbing you a shot glass and pouring some of rankest shit you've ever smelled. the music starts pounding louder, and you need to raise your voice even higher to make sure he hears you.

"aren't you gonna take one with me?" you shout.

"y'know i'm a fuckin' lightweight, baby~" he frowns, handing you the shot, a little bit spilling with his sloppy actions.

you scrunch your nose at the strong stench. "i'm a bit stoned though so only one, okay?" you say to him. you close your eyes, hold your breath, and down it. your eyes water and you have to prevent yourself from dry heaving as you immediately grab the nearest can of cola on the table and chug it as a chaser.

"wooow, you're such a baby," satoru jeers, thinking about how you've always needed a non-alcoholic drink to wash down your alcohol. you're not a heavy drinker by any means -- not even a moderate drinker. as as a social drinker, you always feel the need to try to at least sort of keep up with your friends when they drink the rankest and cheapest liquor. thank god satoru has always been a lightweight.

"shut up~" you say, rolling your eyes. you grab satoru's arm and pull him closer to the balcony where all your friends are. he slides his arm down so that you're holding his hands. your heart beats faster, knowing full well your vices always made you...hornier than usual. you're trying really hard to not look back at satoru, but you steal a glance anyway. his flush face and tired eyes are all of a sudden looking really attractive to you. your eyes slide down and look at his hands, the shape of his long calloused fingers gripping your hand and you can't help but imagine how they would feel pumping inside you. oh god, was he always this attractive? ugh! why can't toji just message you back so you can just go over to his place instead of having to lust over your best friend?!

you both enter the balcony, and the cool yet humid evening air hits your face, allowing you to finally breath something that wasn't beer and sweat. that is, until the stench of weed hits your nose.

"ugh, this shit's gross! i dunno how you guys can fuckin' stand the smell," satoru complains, dramatically making a gagging face.

"and you call me a baby?!" you snort, still trying to not be obnoxiously flirtatious throughout the night to satoru. you cannot let the horniness win tonight. god, what's gotten in you? you're never this...desperate? it's satoru's fault because he's looking so good tonight, you tell yourself. you pass on the joint, and try to focus on the conversation at hand, but it's hard when satoru puts his arms around you and pulls your closer to his chest.

almost instinctively, you melt into his chest, allowing yourself to feel his warmth and focus on his breathing chest. you smell the beer from his mouth as he laughs at something suguru said and you giggle too so people can know you're sort of paying attention.

you're a perfect mix of drunk and high, and you're feeling blissful being out on this balcony with your best friends, albeit minus the thoughts of how good satoru was looking tonight. is it even that wrong to think that your friend looks hot? you're not being delusional right?

"suguru is definitely being a comedian tonight for riko, isn't he?" you tiptoe up to satoru and whipser into his ear, thinking you're being subtle. unfortunately for you (and suguru), the loud music isn't being carried out to the balcony, and everyone hears you, and starts laughing. oh shit. you immediately pan over to suguru and see him pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"oh my god, suguru i- riko, i'm obviously joking!" you say really fast, slurring through your words as the shot finally is taking effect into your body. "obviously, suguru is the funniest person i know!"

"second funniest but i'm letting suguru tell all the jokes tonight. he needs this more than i do." satoru smiles brightly, looking at his best mate and making a kissy face at him.

"okay, riko, we are actually. um. we are leaving. and going to my room or the living room or literally anywhere else but here," suguru says, abruptly standing and helping riko up.

"wait what no, i wanna hear more about this-" she starts to tease, but ends up laughing.

"you're taking her to your room?!" shoko teases, raising her eyebrows comically. utahime chokes on the joint and starts laughing coughing and you do too, before you immediately stop. you cannot get on suguru's nerves tonight, as you know that'll make him too in his head to actually focus on having a fun time with riko.

you lift your body weight off of satoru and make way for suguru to leave. satoru side steps in front of suguru and pulls him into a hug, to which he scowls and tries to break free of. "mate, we LOVE you. i love you. and y/n loves you. and i'm going to absolutely obliterate you at street fighter at the barcade tonight." satoru slurs through his words and you almost feel bad for riko for having to deal with you and your friends.

you give a sympathetic look to riko as she trails behind suguru, patting his back softly and giggling. you're about to whisper a quick sorry to her, but she takes you by surprise by whispering "i hope i get obliterated by him tonight."

your jaw drops and you could almost cry laughing at what riko just said. i mean, okay, yeah it makes sense, and good for her but oh my god? i didn't know she had that in her?, you think to yourself.

"queen, i hope it happens. i'm for real manifesting this for you," you whisper back quickly and she sips her wine and giggles and follows suguru out of the balcony.

you turn around incredulously to shoko and utahime and look up satoru, all of them completely in shock at what they heard. there's a moment of silence to process before the intrusive thoughts win in your head. "honestly, i hope i get obliterated tonight, too."

shoko groans. "shut the fuck. up! you literally got obliterated last night! can you be normal about physical touch for just one night?"

"i can't, shoko, you know i get horny when i'm crossed~" you whine, your doe eyes getting wider in desperation. oh cool, you're off the deep end now. you're just fully horny and admitting it in front of satoru who will, at the very least, use this as incriminating evidence tomorrow.

"i can help with that," satoru flirts brazenly through the alcohol in his system, bringing you closer to him and holding you tight.

"desperation is such a turn off," utahime says almost immediately.

you giggle as you melt into satoru's chest once more. "what's going on, toji not treatin' ya right?"

your body almost instantaneously goes rigid upon hearing his name, and your senses almost clear up. you whip your phone of your purse, completely ignoring satoru's question and check your messages to see if you got a notification from toji, only to see nothing. you groan and rub your temples in stress. "okay guys, gather around. this is an emergency," you say as everyone huddles closer to you.

"it's not an emergency, FYI", shoko clarifies, already having heard this story in the uber ride here.

you explain to utahime and satoru about how toji had not responded to your explicit picture since this afternoon, and how you're feeling stupid and insecure about it. "i mean, is there something wrong with me? did i cross a line? how can you ignore the same titties you sucked on less than 24 hours ago?" you say frustratingly, the alcohol once again allowing you to give way more detail than you normally would.

"you see, it's a bit hard for me to, like, understand exactly what the situation is. i think i need to see the picture you sent him to really understand and help you out, y/n." satoru says with dead seriousness as he locks his eyes with you.

"oh yeah of course!" you say as you unlock your phone and are about to show him before shoko grabs your phone away and utahime flicks his forehead.

"you nasty disgusting pervert..." she mumbles, shaking her head.

"she was literally about to show me~" he whines. "i was asking as a friend, a homie."

"okay, listen y/n. he's probably busy. he's literally a single dad, and maybe he's busy with megumi. maybe he's trying to find a real job besides being a gigolo, we don't know but it's lame to dwell on it. let's just finish up this joint and head to the barcade soon, okay?" shoko assures, holding your hand as utahime puts your phone back in your purse. god, you love them so much it hurts.

you nod your head rapidly, as satoru gets a chime on his phone.

"ohhh, shit!" he exclaims, "this girl i helped today during lab is here. and she might actually show me her titties unlike you guys, so...i'm gonna leave."

you roll your eyes in even more annoyance. great, now satoru is gonna be hanging out some random airhead while you're left to your own vices for the rest of the night? you really don't want to spend the night waiting for toji to text, and you don't care to particularly ask satoru for help. but it does make you even more desperate knowing that you're still pretty drunk and everyone in your friend group seems to be getting laid tonight except for you. maybe you can find someone cute in the barcade?

as you all bid satoru goodbye, you continue to enjoy a couple more minutes with shoko and utahime while they finish smoking the joint. once it's finished, you all are ready to head out.

"okay, you get satoru, and we'll get suguru and riko," utahime instructs. that's so high school teacher of her, you think and bite back a smile.

"who's gonna kick everyone out of this...pregame house party thing?" you ask, gesturing to the 20 or so people getting progressively more drunk and sweaty in the boys' living room and kitchen.

"suguru will handle it, not our problem," utahime says, lighting out the joint into the nearest succulent pot in the balcony. she grabs shoko's hand and leads her out of the balcony, and you follow suit.

your nose is once again met with the stench of beer and sweat, and you make a face. your eyes scan the room full of party goers for satoru, as it shouldn't be hard to find the tallest person in the room with the brightest hair, but with no luck. ugh, he's probably somewhere in the rest of the apartment with that girl, you think, not looking forward to meeting some random slag satoru was probably going to sleep with.

as you made your way through the living room to the hallway to the boys' room and bathroom, trying your best to avoid the damp sweaty skins of people and sticky floors, you realize you need to pee really badly. you shove your way to the empty hallway and quickly down the rest of your white claw before beelining to the restroom at the end of the hallway.

as you're nearing the corner turn, you hear...oh god, are you hearing? moans? of course, someone is bound to hook up at this trashy party and make you feel even worse for being so drunk and horny and having no one tonight. that's okay though, you have a plan: you'll do your best not to make eye contact to the couple just turn right into the bathroom. just as you're about to execute this plan and turn the corner, you hear them moan, "o-oh satoru~" and your head immediately whips to the direction of the person who made the offensive noise.

you're not sure what you feel and you think you feel many things, including but not limited to: disgust, hostility, annoyance and...jealousy? wait, no, that can't be right.

your eyes widen and your jaw drops and you scoff as you see satoru french kissing some floozy outside his room, his hands up her shirt feeling her titties. wait, are you jealous or turned on? wait, what's happening?

satoru hears your scoff and rapidly removes his hands from the girl's shirt and stops kissing her to look at your bewildered and exasperated face. you give him a look that says "are you serious?" before you chuck your empty white claw can at him (he deftly dodges it) and shout, "get a room! but also get ready, you horndog, we're leaving to the barcade!"

you don't wait to hear an answer as you immediately slip into the bathroom and lock the door. god what was that? okay, let's break this down, you think to yourself, desperately scrambling to get your intoxicated thoughts in order. your head is slightly spinning and you lean on the bathroom sink for support as you try to sort out why you're feeling your chest drop in what you can only identify as jealousy. no, you're not jealous because you're in love with satoru, you're jealous because it just doesn't make sense.

if satoru is gonna fuck around with anyone tonight, it might as well be you, right? it's just rude, like as a friend, to kiss someone else who's not your friend when your friend is really horny, right? god, are your inebriated thoughts even making sense?

you try to snap out of delirium by turning on the faucet and drinking some water, trying to sober yourself down. or maybe you actually need to just get another drink? maybe you just need to find some cute guy to buy you a drink at the bar later and you'll snap out of it.

actually, maybe toji should just fucking text you back so you can go crawling to him at the end of the night so he can obliterate your pussy. you fish your phone out of your purse only to be met with no notifications from toji. you click on the message between you and toji, and start to draft out some lewd and lecherous texts to him. you thankfully, you don't have time to contemplate your actions or hit send before you hear the music die and people groaning.

you hear suguru yelling at everyone to get the fuck out and either go home or to the barcade, and you hear satoru start singing closing time, slurring the lyrics. this is the guy you're jealous about? this is the fella you want to lowkey fuck?

you pray that either a) toji messages you back or b) you find a nice non-creepy guy at the bar who's willing to at least make out with you, or 3) you instantly get sober after peeing.

only time will tell.

[thehighladywrites]

I had to come off of anon to say this bc I’m so angry so for every hateful anon out there here’s what CANONICALLY happened between Eris and Mor as far as we know in a little bulleted list so everyone can understand-

-Eris and Mor are engaged to be married (Mor is unwilling we have no idea if Eris wanted/didn’t want the marriage)

-Mor not wanting this marriage CONSENSUALLY sleeps with Cassian to get rid of her virginity so Eris calls of the marriage bc “she holds no value to him anymore” shitty thing to say but again it’s stated that Eris has to put on a mask in his court (kinda like someone else we know *cough* Rhysand *cough*)

-Keir finds out Mor did this and KEIR drives the stake into her stomach/womb saying that she was Eris’s problem

-Eris sees her bleeding with a group of soldiers at the border and leaves her there claiming that they can’t touch her

-We get a small snippet of what happened in ACOFAS from MOR’S Pov

Here are some quotes for that:

-“Don’t touch her.” Those steps stopped. It was not a warning to protect her. Defend her.

“No one touches her,” he said. Eris. “The moment we do, she’s our responsibility.”

- “I take it you do not wish to live here, Morrigan.”

He must have read it in her eyes. A small smile curved his lips. “I thought so.”

Also about the situation in ACOWAR (quotes from Eris from Feyre’s Pov)

-Eris looked between them, smiling faintly. Secretly. As if he knew something that Azriel didn’t. “I wouldn’t have touched you,” he said to Mor, who blanched again. “But when you fucked that other bastard—” A snarl ripped from Rhys’s throat at that. And my own. “I knew why you did it.” Again that secret smile that had Mor shrinking. Shrinking. “So I gave you your freedom, ending the betrothal in no uncertain terms.”

“And what happened next,” Azriel growled.

A shadow crossed Eris’s face. “There are few things I regret. That is one of them. But … perhaps one day, now that we are allies, I shall tell you why. What it cost me.”

-So basically none of the IC was there to witness what actually happened. Azriel rescued Mor from autumn a few days later, and that’s all we know about the situation.

Eris never RAPED anyone, he shouldn’t have left Mor in the woods, but my literary analysis (this is just my opinion) is that if Eris would have helped Mor she would’ve had to have married him and been trapped in Autumn. I’m not saying what Eris did is excusable-it was awful but

THIS IS THE CANONICAL EVIDENCE WE HAVE OF THE SITUATION

could Eris have alerted Tamlin or Rhys or someone? yes but it’s heavily implied throughout the series that Eris has to play by the rules of his court and if we can all forgive Rhys for that then I don’t see why Eris can’t be extended the same courtesy.

Anyway I’m sorry this is long but I feel like it needed to be said because there’s so much hate going around and I’m not here for it so I’m bringing in the receipts❤️

I hope you have a great day love and keep writing professor Eris bc I know I go feral for it ❤️‍🔥

phoenix you’re so right, i literally have nothing else to add, this is perfection thank you babes!!

also professor eris is coming out tomorrow 👀👀

[fiveraccoonsinatrenchcoat]

Quiet My Fears (With The Touch Of Your Hand) Ch. 3

Steve Harrington x f!reader

Description: Dramatic reveals are revealed, dramatically (or, you and Steve tell the gang about Baby Harrington and it does not go well).

Warnings: language, food mentions, everyone is angry all of the time

Word Count: 7965

Previous Chapter! - Next Chapter!

My Masterlist! - Series Masterlist!

Notes: I'm so sorry this took as long as it did! I've been going through it lately but through the power of boygenius I was actually able to finish this bit the other day! Please enjoy and also no one is allowed to be mad at me lol

Steve Harrington was going to be a dad.

The funny thing that came along with that was that Steve was actually going to have to tell people.

He imagined that there were many couples who would be very excited about this prospect. There were lots of young men out there who had mothers begging them for grandchildren. His hadn’t quite gotten there yet.

You had told him that you wanted to put off telling people for as long as you could. He entirely understood why; times had changed quite a bit since his mother’s day, but still, being an unwed mother in Smalltown, USA was relatively frowned upon. Honestly, considering just how gossipy the population of Hawkins tended to be, Steve was surprised the front desk ladies at your doctor’s office hadn’t already spread the news like wildfire, HIPAA be damned; golden boy Steve Harrington and his childhood best friend, having a baby out of wedlock? That was some front page stuff, right there. 

Married or not, though, it was going to have to happen sooner rather than later. In a few weeks time, it was going to start getting very difficult to hide. You were going to begin showing any moment now, and as Spring started to settle in, it brought its warmer temperatures with it. You could only hide behind your winter coat and thick sweaters for so long. 

And not just your bump; your friends were beginning to pick up on the fact that there was something going on.

“Steve!” Robin barked before tossing a wadded up ball of old receipts at him. It hit him square between the eyebrows. “Stop moping and do your job, please?”

“I’m not moping,” Steve defended (he absolutely was), before turning back to the pile of returns he was supposed to be sorting through.

“Fuck off, yeah you are,” Eddie very helpfully added.

“See, this is why I don’t like it when you hang around here,” Steve said, pointing a pen toward Eddie. “You two always gang up on me!”

“Why do you think I’m here at all?” Eddie quipped back with a smirk. 

“Because you don’t have anywhere better to go?” Robin supplied.

“That, too.”

“Either way, I’m not moping,” Steve assured. “I’m fine.”

“That’s a fucking lie if I’ve ever heard one,” Eddie said over the click of the markdown gun, as he emptied its bright orange stickers down that back of his arm. Steve couldn’t help but notice that he had set the price to ‘WAS $4.20, NOW $0.69’.

“Stop that,” Robin huffed as she whipped the tool out of Eddie’s hands. “Steve, I can practically see the rain cloud floating over your head.”

“Oh, my god!” Steve didn’t really want to snap at his friends, but he did it anyway. “Nothing is wrong! I am fine, everything is fine!”

Eddie and Robin just stared at Steve like a pair of deer in headlights from across the counter. They both knew how easily frustrated Steve could become, and they’d be the first to admit that sometimes they can poke at him a bit too hard, but an outburst this quickly had been unexpected. Neither said anything, and Steve just sighed.

After a moment of awkward silence, Eddie spoke up once again. 

“Lady problems?”

“Get out!” both Steve and Robin exclaimed, in unison.

“I thought you guys liked me.” Eddie feigned offense.

“You do not work here!” Robin said as she grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him toward the door. “And Keith’ll get pissed if he finds out you were here and didn’t spend any money, so go home.”

“Fine,” Eddie relented from the entryway. “Hey, I’ll see you guys on Saturday, right?”

“Of course!”

“Probably not.”

“You claim nothing is wrong,” Eddie said, pointing to Steve. “And yet, in the same breath, turn down free beer?”

“Leave!”

“I love you both!”

The bell above the door rang as Eddie walked out, and Steve was left in Robin’s concerned gaze. 

“Y’know, Eddie does kind of have a point,” Robin said after a moment. Nine times out of ten, Robin was able to coax Steve out of his quiet and get him to talk about whatever it was that was eating at him, a fact that Steve was highly aware of. 

“No, he doesn’t,” Steve barked back. If this conversation didn’t end in the next two minutes, he would jump off the roof. 

“You haven’t hung out with any of us in weeks!” Robin exclaimed “Weeks, Steve!”

“I’ve been busy,” Steve lied.

“Busy with what?” she inquired. “Do you have another job I don’t know about, or something?”

“I’m allowed to do things without you around. You know that, right?” It was meaner than he needed to be.

“Oh, god, this isn’t about your lover, is it?” Robin drawled with a scowl.

“You know her name, and you don’t have to say it like that,” Steve responded.

“You two got back together, didn’t you?”

She hadn’t quite gotten it head on, but it was probably as close as she was going to get.

“I knew it!” Robin looked like she was going to explode. “I fucking knew it!”

“Please don’t turn this into a thing,” Steve pleaded.

“Me turn it into a thing?!” She was mad now. “You two are the ones turning it into a thing! You cannot keep sneaking around like this, it cannot possibly be healthy!”

“We’re-” Steve huffed out a breath. This tightrope he was walking across seemed to be growing more and more thin. “Working on it.”

“Can you work on it a little bit faster, please?” Robin asked as she punched out. “You two are so fucking weird about each other. Split, or make it official, just do something, because I hate having to keep this secret for you, it’s exhausting!”

“We sort of already did. I think,” Steve confided. Partial truth is better than no truth, right?

“Split?”

“Make it official.”

“Oh, thank god,” Robin sighed, tossing herself across the counter, all dramatics. “I can finally quit having to cover for you.”

“Don’t say anything yet.” Steve was quick with his damage control. “We, uh, we wanna do it. Ourselves. Figure it’ll probably go over a little bit smoother that way, y’know?”

“Fine, but if you don’t tell everyone soon, I’m going to,” Robin said. “Don’t think I’m the only one who’s noticed something off with you lately.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“Everyone is worried about you, Steve,  it’s not just me,” she explained. “Dustin was about two seconds away from showing up at your house after you bailed on us last week.”

Steve didn’t know that. It sent a lightning bolt of regret through his chest.

“The faster you two can get your shit together, the better. I’ve been happily cleaning up this mess for you, but I’m starting to get fucking tired of it, Steve.” Robin looked at her watch. “I was off ten minutes ago.”

She was out the door before Steve could even think up an apology.

Steve and Robin didn’t get into fights often, but he absolutely hated it every time they did. Even silly little arguments left him wracked with guilt sometimes, but proper, go-for-the-throat type fights made feel sick. 

Pair that with the fact that he was making Dustin worry, and Steve felt about ready to hurl. 

God, this was difficult. Stupidly difficult. Maybe, if he asked nicely, you’d agree to just run away with him so he didn’t have to deal with any of it. 

If he could just pluck up the courage to tell his parents, that would at least be a start. They were the difficult ones, the conversation he was dreading more than any of them, and the wild anxiety ate away at him for the rest of his shift. By the time seven o’clock rolled around and he was finally able to go home, it was entirely all-encompassing.

Fuck it. It had to get done either way, right?

The drive from Family Video to his parents house, no longer than ten minutes, felt as though it stretched across half an eternity. The vicious anxiety ate away at his stomach as he drove, and with each turn, each mile crossed, it only increased. Maybe he should just turn around. Maybe he should go home to you, and his parents could just figure it out on their own. He was sure his dad would love that.

Steve pulled into the driveway and was very close to losing what little nerve he had. He turned off the ignition, this is a bad idea. He got out of the car, this is a bad idea. He walked up to the front door and let himself in, this is a bad idea.  

He could hear the commotion of his mother making dinner in the kitchen. Something was sizzling; popping and crackling with the smell of onions and garlic, of bell peppers and roasting meat. 

Steve had lots of reasons to be jealous of other peoples’ parents, but at least his knew how to cook.

“Steve!” his mother exclaimed once he walked into her view. One hand was occupied by a wooden spoon stirring a pan of vegetables, the other holding a frosty glass of white wine. “I didn’t know whether or not to expect you.”

“You barely even live here anymore,” his father chided from where he was sitting at the counter. His suit coat was off and he had a matching wine glass sitting on the table in front of him. Nine times out of ten, Steve’s parents were able to be amicable with one another. At this point, they acted more like roommates than husband and wife, but at least they were roommates that were able to stand being in the same room as one another. Usually. “Didn’t think I’d get to see you before I left.”

“Sit down! Have a drink,” his mother insisted. She pulled another wine glass out of the cabinet and the bottle out of the fridge. 

“Oh, no, I’m alright,” Steve said as he sat down. His mother poured him the glass anyway.

He was about to ruin a perfectly good dinner, Steve thought to himself. His mother probably poured over it all day. The roast that just got pulled out of the oven was probably expensive. 

“So, what’s been going on with Steve these days?” his father asked him. 

Now or never.

“I actually wanted to, uh,” Steve stuttered out. “I wanted to talk to you guys.”

“You didn’t crash your car, did you?” his father said, only half joking.

“No, the car’s fine.”

“Is this about that girl?” his mother asked as she turned the stove down to low, mischief painting her voice.

“Girl? What girl?” His father pointed his gaze over to Meredith. 

“He met a girl,” she responded. She seemed almost giddy with excitement.

“Finally,” his father said. He said it like it was a joke, though it didn’t feel all that well meaning to Steve. 

“Oh, tell me it’s Giada’s daughter from down the street,” his mother said. “Have you seen their kitchen? I’d never have to host another Thanksgiving ever again.”

“No, it’s not- no.” Steve wasn’t even sure he knew who Giada was, let alone her daughter. 

“Well, at least give us a name, Steve,” his mother said. “Is she cute?”

When Steve said your name, he felt almost like he was condemning you. Like just uttering it strapped you to him, so now you’d both be falling from grace. 

“The one who grew up across the street?” his father asked, as if you hadn’t known him your whole life.

“Oh, that’s just too sweet!,” his mother exclaimed. “It’s like a movie, ugh! I’ll have to give her mother a call, she’s going to be thrilled!”

Good luck with that, Steve thought to himself. She won’t even answer the calls from her own daughter.  

“Took you long enough,” his father said, leaning back in his barstool, lackadaisical. 

“What?” Steve responded. He was wildly unimpressed by his father’s haughty attitude.

“You two have been making googly eyes at each other since you were eight,” he explained. “Frankly, I didn’t think you had the balls to do anything about it.”

“Ron,” his mother chastised at the choice of words.

“What? Obviously, I was wrong.” Ron pointed his gaze back to his son. “Y’know, I think she could be a good influence on you. Steady job, good work ethic. She’s a bit of an oddball, though, but I guess with a father like her’s, could you really blame her?”

Leave it to Ronald Harrington to judge other peoples’ parenting skills while simultaneously insulting his son’s girlfriend. 

“Don’t be rude,” Meredith said. Her back was now turned to the two men, arms elbow deep in the sink. “Such a shame her parents moved away, though. I couldn’t imagine going that far without bringing your daughter with you. Is she still living on the south side?”

“Yep.”

“That’s not the safest area in town,” she commented. “Did you hear about that house fire down that way? The woman on the news said that it might have been arson. Arson!” 

“It’s alright,” he placated. “Not as bad as it used to be, at least.” 

“I still don’t know if I like the idea of a girl like her living all by herself in an area like that,” she said. 

“You’ll have to invite her over for dinner once I get back,” his father said, entirely oblivious to the topic of conversation between his wife and son.

There was a moment of silence between the three of them. His mom took a sip of her wine and stuck the meat with a cooking thermometer, his dad refilled his own glass, and Steve felt his stomach do a backflip. This was going poorly.

“If there’s something else you have to tell us, you might as well just rip the bandaid off quick.” His father hit the nail on the head, that was for sure. He paused for a moment before making the kind of poorly timed, borderline insulting joke only someone like his father could. 

“God, she’s not pregnant, is she?”

Steve went rigid, and he kept his gaze trained on the swirls in the marble countertop. He didn’t say anything, he couldn’t bring himself to, so he just left his parents to piece his silence together on their own.

“Steve,” his mother demanded. She had a carving fork gripped tight in her white knuckled fist, planted hard against the edge of the countertop. Steve was pretty sure she was about to stab him with it. He couldn’t look either of them in the eye.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to squeak out. He could feel tears beginning to well up in his eyes. 

“Goddamn it, Steven!” his father exclaimed, slamming his hand onto the counter. It made the glasses rattle. “This has to be some kind of joke!”

“I’m sorry!” Steve said, louder this time. “Fuck, I didn’t-”

“Didn’t what?” his father asked. “You didn’t mean to? You didn’t think it would actually happen?”

“I don’t know,” Steve responded. He suddenly felt very small, confronted by his father’s booming voice.

His mother stood silent in her spot on the opposite side of the kitchen island, but there were definitely tears running down her cheeks, and anger radiating off of her in horrible waves that Steve wasn’t used to. 

“No, you don’t, because you weren’t thinking at all, were you?” His father fumed. He was standing now, towering over Steve despite the fact that the two of them were almost the same in height. “For Christ’s sake, Steven!”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ll have to marry her-”

“We already talked about that. She said she wants to wait,” Steve explained quickly.

“No. No, this is not a question of want, Steven. I don’t care about what you want, you’ve forfeited that right! You both have!” his father spat back. 

“I’m not gonna force her to marry me against her will, dad, I’m not evil!” He shouldn’t have said it that way, he knew that. But god, he was mad, and a low blow like that was just as satisfying as he thought it would be. 

At least this hadn’t happened when he was 16. He would have been well and truly fucked if this had happened when he was 16. 

“You know what? Maybe this is just the thing you need,” his father snapped.

“What?” Steve asked, confused.

“A big mistake for you to finally learn a thing or two.”

Steve wasn’t particularly fond of his father’s use of the word ‘mistake’.

“I leave for Santa Monica tomorrow morning. I’ll be back in a week,” his father stated. “I want you out of my house before then.”

“Ronald,” Meredith broke her silence, exclaiming from behind the tears. Steve knew she wouldn’t explode the way his father was doing, but she really looked like she wanted to.

“No! We have been defending him and making excuses for years, Meredith. Years! If he wants to go play house with his little girlfriend, that’s fine by me, but he’s not gonna do it under my roof.” He doubled down and turned his gaze back to where Steve was sitting. “I think it's a damn good time for him to learn that his actions come with consequences.”

The older man turned away at that and pulled his keys off of the hook on the wall.

“Where are you going?” Meredith called after him. He didn’t bother with an answer, only walked out and slammed the door behind him. 

Steve was left alone with his mother, which was simultaneously much better and far worse. 

“We were already planning for me to move in with her,” Steve said. If his father had stuck around for a minute longer, he would have been able to explain that to him, too. “She needed a roommate anyway.”

His mother scoffed and shook her head.

“Look, I know that-”

“You make it incredibly difficult for me to be on your side sometimes, Steven,” his mother interrupted.

“I know,” Steve agreed. He did know. 

“I wish I could say that I thought your father was being irrational, but I don’t know if I can,” she sighed. “For once, I think he and I might be on the same page.”

“You are?” Steve asked. His father’s vitriolic anger hadn’t come as a surprise, he’d been expecting it, but he thought his mother would be at least a little bit understanding. She always had been before. Steve guessed that this was different, though. 

“You’re not going to be able to live in that apartment forever, Steven,” she said.

“I know that.”

“And you’ll definitely need a better job. I highly doubt your father’s previous offer still stands, by the way.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” she asked him. Her voice had a bite to it that he had never been on the receiving end of before. “You’ve been saying ‘I know’ for years now, Steve. You know you need to grow up, you know you’ll have to move out someday, you know you have to do something with your life, yet you have never made any actual effort to do anything about it!”

“Mom, that’s not true-”

“If you want to start making big, adult choices like this, you’re going to have to start acting like one. Clearly, you’re not a child anymore.” 

His mother untied her apron and tossed it onto the counter before leaving the kitchen, heels clicking on the tile.

Steve’s whole family had been waiting for that thing; that final, fatal event that would break the Hawkins Harringtons for good. Aunts, uncles, cousins, all piecing together whatever bits of gossip they could, knew that the string that tied Steve to his parents was being pulled thinner and thinner and thinner. His mother could only do so much mending for him, and everyone had spent the last few years waiting with bated breath for that string to snap, for Steve to lose his footing. Once it did, he would plummet.

Steve was now standing alone in his childhood home, scissors in hand. 

Steve didn’t know what to do, so he stood up and turned off the stove. He pulled out a tupperware container and boxed up the vegetables. He wrapped the meat in foil and left it out on the counter, because it needed to cool before it could be put away, or else it would screw with the temperature inside the refrigerator. He found a stopper and closed the bottle of wine, placing it in the fridge before gathering the three glasses. His was still full, and he wanted to chug it, but thought better of it and poured it down the drain. He cleaned all of the dishes, dried them, and put them away. He turned off the oven, and wiped down all of the countertops, and neatly hung the towel to dry. He turned off the lights, making sure to leave the one above the stove on as a nightlight. 

Truly, there wasn’t much left of his personal belongings that he really cared about that he hadn’t already taken to your apartment. Most of what he needed was already there. He could grab the rest of it when his mother wasn’t home; the rest of his clothes, important documents, that kind of thing. What all do you even need to bring with you when you're being forced out of your childhood home, anyway? 

Later. This was something he could deal with later.

So he left. Unsurprisingly, his father’s car was nowhere to be seen. He wanted to keep talking to his mom, to explain himself, to apologize, to say anything, but he knew it would just make it worse than it already was, so he just got into his car and pulled away instead.

He did need a better job. He’d been needing a better job for a while now, actually, but he definitely needed a better job now. And his mother was right, there was no way he would be able to work for his dad after that. 

He wished he was able to explain to his parents that hey, funny story, due to atrocities he won’t be explaining right now, the government actually gave him a frankly absurd amount of money a few years ago, and he’d be alright for a while. It wouldn’t last forever, but it was enough to keep the pair of you afloat, especially with yours, too. You had used a bit of it on rent right after your parents had left, but Steve’s money sat mostly untouched in a bank account his family didn’t know he had. 

See, the thing about government hush money is that you can’t just go out and spend it on something wild, because then people are going to ask where it came from. Believe him, if he had been able to go out and buy some fancy sports car or a bunch of designer clothes, he would have. His father would have told him to buy a nice watch and invest the rest of it (Steve wasn’t entirely sure what that actually meant, or how to even go about doing it). He was just grateful to have it right now.

He could put a down payment on a house for you and him. That seemed like something a responsible adult would do with it, right?

Steve pulled up to your building and was shocked with how well he’d held it together up until this point, because he felt like he was going to explode. When he got to your floor and walked into your apartment, you were sitting on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table, textbooks and paper spread before you. The sound of him walking in pulled you away from your schoolwork and when you turned to look at Steve, you were clearly upset.

“You told me you were off more than an hour ago!” you said as you wiggled out from behind the table and stood up. “I was starting to get really worried, Steve, where were you?”

“I, uhm,” Steve started. He felt his voice crack, the sting of tears beginning to well in his eyes. He had to keep his shit together, for your sake.

“Did something happen?” you asked him. You brought your hands up to the sides of his face, and there went any chance of him keeping it together. 

“I told my parents,” he confessed. He was not going to cry in front of you. He wasn’t.

“What?” you questioned. You sounded a little bit hurt that he did it without asking you, but mostly just horribly concerned. “I thought we agreed to wait.”

“We did, but it was eating away at me, and I just couldn’t sit on it anymore, and-” The floodgates broke and Steve’s words were cut off by a strained sob. 

“Oh, Stevie.” You pulled him into a hug and Steve wanted nothing more than for these stupid tears to just dry up, but it felt like weeks and weeks of pent up worry and fear were being pulled to the surface, and he didn’t have it in him to try and stop any of it. He was supposed to be the strong one for you, but Jesus Christ, that was difficult. “It was bad?”

“Well, they kicked me out,” Steve said.

“What?”

“Which, I mean, my dad’s right. I barely even live there anymore, so I guess it doesn’t really even matter,” he rambled out, wiping his nose on his sleeve like a child.

“Yes, it does,” you assured him.

“And I’m pretty sure that this is my mother's worst nightmare, so I don’t know why I didn’t expect her to be pissed.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. You pulled Steve towards the couch and carefully lowered onto the cushions, your grasp on his wrists bringing him down to your side. 

“And Robin and I got into a fight, too.”

“You didn’t tell her, did you?” you questioned.

“No, but I think if I don’t do it soon, she might disown me,” he admits. 

“She’s not going to disown you,” you protested. “She’d never do that.”

“My parents just did,” Steve lamented. “My mother just did. Who’s to say Robin isn’t next, huh?”

Steve would never, ever be able to make his father proud, because his father would never, ever let him even get close. He had known that for a long time, and maybe there was a part of him that was relieved by that. He knew that it was an entirely unattainable goal, so he never really bothered to reach for it. His mother, oh so cruelly, always made sure Steve knew that he could do great things. Why did she have to go and do that? Steve knew his mother held him to a high bar, he just hadn’t ever considered the possibility that he wouldn’t be able to jump high enough.

So maybe that’s why it hurt so badly when you curled into him that night when he finally crawled into bed. Maybe that’s why he called into work the next day, even though he knew it would probably make Robin totally freak out. Maybe that’s why he waited until he saw his mother’s car leave the driveway before going into his - what used to be his- house to box up the last of his things.

Maybe that’s why he missed the Hawkins Police Department truck parked outside of your apartment building when he was bringing groceries inside a handful of days later. 

“I’m back!” he called into your apartment after releasing the wildly heavy grocery bags onto the kitchen counter. Making more than one trip is for suckers. “They didn’t have any pineapple juice, so I just got a pineapple, figured it can’t be too hard to just-”

Steve cut himself off when he looked up from the paper bags to see more than just you sitting in the living room; Joyce was sitting on your left with an arm wrapped protectively over your shoulders, Robin on your right with her legs pulled up underneath her and a tissue box in her lap, and Hopper was propped up on the arm of the couch. You were in the middle of the array, in tears. 

“Hello,” Steve nervously greeted, eyes wide as frisbees and blood running cold.

There was absolutely no universe in which this went well.

Robin’s expression, which had clearly been soft and sympathetic before Steve had interrupted them, quickly changed into anger. She shot up from the couch, earning her a disapproving tut from Joyce and making you wince away from her. It took her three wide stomps to cross the small space and grab onto Steve’s wrist with more strength than he knew she had in her.

“Ow, Robin!” Steve complained as she dragged him out into the hallway. She slammed the door hard behind her and it made Steve jump.

“What the fuck, Steve!” she demanded.

“Robin-”

“I mean, seriously, what the fuck!” Steve could already hear the noise complaints from the neighbors as she chastised him. “You lied to me!”

“I-” didn’t, is what he wanted to say, but he knew better than that. “I’m sorry.”

“How long have you two been back together then?” she questioned. Steve really didn’t want to admit it. “How long?”

“Six months,” he replied, sheepishly.

“Six months?!” Robin shrieked in disbelief. “Jesus Christ, you really did lie to me!”

“Robin,” Steve said, hushed and ashamed and really fucking mad at himself.

“For half a year! You lied to me for half a year!”

“I’m sorry!”

“She had to turn down her job offer from the school,” Robin barked. 

“I know that.”

“The job that she’s been talking about for, oh I don’t know, six months? Probably more than that, actually!”

“I know, Robin, alright?” Steve assured her and crossed his arms across his chest. “You think I don’t? I am highly aware of that!”

“And, I’m sorry, but you’re far from the King of Responsibility!” Robin said. 

“What does that mean?!” Steve questioned, a tint of frustration layered over his words. 

“I’m just saying, you aren’t exactly known for your maturity,” she spat.

“You think we wouldn’t be able to take care of-”

“She can. I know she can.  She’s more than capable of doing whatever the hell she puts her mind to, but you?” Anger and resentment dripped from her mouth with each word. “You, I’m honestly not sure. If you were more willing to lie to my face for six months than you were to just tell me the fucking truth, I’m sorry, but that’s really winning you any responsible adult points, is it?”

Tears pricked behind Steve’s eyes. He wanted to yell, to scream at the top of his lungs that, no, Robin, you’re wrong, I can do this!, but he really wasn’t sure if it was true. If his closest friend, one of the people he trusted most in the whole world, really thought that he wouldn’t be able to do this, then maybe she’s right, right?

The apartment door next to Steve slowly creeped open.

“Everything alright out here?” Hopper asked, carefully planting himself just slightly between Steve and Robin. 

Robin lost her vitriol like a tea kettle after the burner got turned off, leaving her with no more steam to fuel what she needed to say. 

“I’m waiting out in the car,” she muttered as she whizzed past Steve and turned down the stairwell. The two men in the hall listened to her descending footsteps. Once they heard the front door open and slam back shut, Jim broke through the quiet.

“Robin wanted me to check up on you after you called out,” Jim explained. “She was worried you were mad at her, after your fight.”

“Right,” Steve said.

“So, imagine my surprise when your mom answers the door, only to tell me that you don’t live there anymore,” the older man said. “She wouldn’t tell me why, just gave me an address and shut the door.”

“Look, if you’re here to give me another angry dad talk, then you don’t have to bother. Mine did a pretty damn good job all on his own,” Steve asserted. 

“I’m not here to be angry.” Steve could tell that Hopper was choosing his words very, very carefully.

“Oh, that’s unlike you,” Steve commented, arms still crossed and eyes on the floor.

“Don’t be shitty!” Jim snapped. Steve withered.

“Sorry,” he muttered, still not able to look the man in the eyes. Jim just sighed.

“Do you have a plan, Steve?” he asked. 

“Yes. No,” Steve replied. “I don’t know. She seems to have one.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“I’m just not sure if I fit in it,” Steve confessed.

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Jim huffed. “Maybe you do need another angry dad talk!”

“What do you want me to say?” Steve interrogated. “That everything is under control and totally normal? I have no idea what’s going to happen! None! And, honestly? I’m fucking terrified, Hopper!” 

“Steve-”

“I have to be good at this. I have to! Because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I’m not, but I am so terrified that I won’t be able to, and I’m going to let her down, and I can’t do that!” It all came out as some sort of paranoia fueled stream of consciousness. “I’d rather die than be anything like my dad, but what if it’s just in my blood? Like, I’m just predestined to turn out just as shitty as him!”

“You definitely won’t,” Jim said, as if it were just a simple fact. “I can assure you, there are very few people on this earth as shitty as your father, and you are not one of them.”

Jim wasn’t overly fond of Ronald Harrington; he was an all-around asshole to most people he met.

“Look, as much as I hate to admit it, you two aren’t kids anymore,” Hop said. “You’re grownups, you two are smart. You can make your own choices. If this is the choice you two wanna make, then make it.”

“You’re making it sound so simple,” Steve snarked.  

“It kind of is,” the chief replied. 

“Really? Because this feels like the least simple thing that’s ever happened to me,” Steve said. “You’re really not mad?”

“Well, I’m not thrilled,” Hopper grumbled. “But, like I said. You two are grownups. You can do whatever the hell you want.”

The pair stood in silence for a moment. Steve knew that Hop was more than likely lying about how mad he was, though he had been preparing himself for Jim to completely lose it on him. He probably would have deserved it. 

“Does it ever get less terrifying?” Steve asked, genuinely wanting to know.

“Nope.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“And it’s not just the fun parts,” Jim added.

“I know,” Steve responded.

“It’s more than just tiny socks and decorating the nursery.”

“I know that.” 

“Just makin’ sure.” Jim was far from happy, but he gave Steve a nod and a pat on the back, which was as close to congratulations as he was going to get. “I know the kids give you a hard time, but you’re smart, and so is she. You two know what you’re doing.”

“Thank you.”

“She’s really, really scared, Steve,” Hopper said. There was something in his voice; a silent question of  ‘do you really know what it is you’re getting yourself into?’

“I know,” Steve replied.

“You don’t get to panic now, alright?” Jim told him. “And you don’t get to change your mind.”

“I won’t. I promise,” Steve said; ‘I do know, and I want all of it.’ “I would never do that to her. Never.”

The pair went back inside, and you seemed to be in slightly better spirits now, even if you still had a sea of tears in your eyes. Both you and Joyce turned to face the two men with questions in your eyes, and Jim’s small nod seemed to be enough of an answer for Joyce to shoot off of the couch to envelop Steve in a tight hug. 

“I have lots of baby things I can bring by for you two,” she gushed after pulling away.

“You don’t have to do that,” you said to her, but she was having none of it.

“Don’t worry about it,” Joyce assured. “It’s all just collecting dust anyway.”

Which left Dustin, who in a lot of ways, Steve was the most worried about. He could take the anger from the grownups. Hell, he could take it from Robin, but Dustin, he was less sure about. 

In true Henderson fashion, he found out about Baby Harrington a few days later, entirely by mistake.

“I still don’t understand why they kicked you out in the first place,” Dustin stated from his spot on the living room floor of your (Steve’s!) apartment. He was digging through a pile of old clothes Steve decided he no longer needed. He had a lot of things, he’d realized while moving in, and he really only wanted a few of them, needed even less. He would donate whatever went unclaimed, but Dustin wanted first dibs for himself. 

“Because they’re assholes,” Steve responded. 

“Okay, yeah, fair, but hasn’t Robin been begging you to get a place with her for, like, a year?” 

“It’s not like I was able to really take my time apartment hunting.”

“I still feel like crashing on Robin’s couch for a while would’ve made more sense than moving in here,” Dustin supplied. Steve rolled his eyes.

“I needed an apartment, she needed a roommate, that’s it. Alright?” Steve loved Dustin like a little brother, but good lord, he could be obnoxious sometimes. “Now pick out what you want so I can clean this shit up.”

Dustin finished his haul, though he grumbled about how Steve was rushing him the whole time, and gathered the previously neatly folded clothes into a messy pile.

“I didn’t think of how I was gonna get any of this stuff out to the car.” Dustin, at not- quite- eighteen years old, had finally gotten his drivers license. ‘Thank god,’ Steve had remarked, ‘that I don’t have to be your fucking chauffeur anymore.’ That sentiment only lasted a little while, though, as it quickly became clear that a drivers license meant that Dustin could come and bother Steve whenever he wanted to. And he wanted to all the time. “Will you help me carry it all out?”

“No, I won’t, because there are more trash bags in the cabinet under the sink.” Steve pointed towards the small kitchen. Dustin got up off the floor, going into the kitchen and checking in seemingly every cupboard you had.

“I said under the sink, dude!” Steve heard the squeaky cabinet hinges open and shut, the rustle of the plastic trash bag.

“Steve?” Dustin called after a moment. The apartment was small, and the only real thing separating the kitchen and living room was a few feet of counter and the floor switching from tile to carpet.

“What?” Steve responded, not bothering to look up from the clothes he was shoveling back into their own trash bag. 

“What’s this?” Dustin asked him. When Steve finally looked up at him, he was pointing towards something on the fridge, and it took Steve a second to realize that what Dustin was referring to was the ultrasound pictures that he’d forgotten to take down.

Well, shit.

Steve rocketed towards the fridge to put them away, but Dustin was faster and grabbed them before he could. The damage was already done.

“Dustin, please give me that,” Steve asked. 

“This has her last name on it,” the younger boy observed. 

“Put it down, alright? You weren’t supposed to see it in the first place, so just-”

“Is she fucking pregnant?” Dustin demanded. 

“Dustin, please.” 

“I didn’t think she was dating anyone, though?” the boy thought out loud. “Oh, my god, I wonder if it’s someone we know!”

Oh, it definitely is.

“Dude, c’mon, please just give me the picture.” Remember what Steve said about Dustin being obnoxious?

“Wait, why are you moving in with her if she’s pregnant?” Dustin inquired. “I’m pretty sure that extra bedroom is gonna be pretty occupied in nine months.”

“It’s closer to six, actually,” Steve clarified, and Dustin’s eyes widened. “But that isn’t the point, can you please just-”

“Steve?” the boy asked, tone shifting away from curiosity into something Steve found much more concerning.

“Yeah?” Steve sighed.

“Why did you move in with her?” he asked again, although the way he spoke the words made Steve think Dustin probably already had it figured out. 

“Why do you think?” was all Steve could come up with to say.

“Oh, my god.”

“Dustin-”

“Oh, my god!”

“You cannot tell anyone, okay? This is totally top secret,” Steve begged.

“Did you-? You two-!” Dustin stuttered out. “Oh, my god!”

Dustin was about to start hyperventilating and Steve was doing his best to keep that from happening, pulling the glossy image out of Dustin’s hand as if it were made of precious porcelain, when the sound of keys jingling in the door distracted them. Both boys fell into bitter silence as you opened the door and took in the sight in front of you; a very frazzled Steve and a very distressed Dustin.

“Hi?” you greeted. “What’s going-”

“You’re fucking pregant?” Dustin exclaimed.

“What?” you spat out in response. Steve could tell that your mind was working a mile a minute to come up with a way to cover for yourself. “I-I don’t, uhm-”

“I left the sonogram on the fridge by mistake,” Steve confessed. He felt awful. “I’m sorry, it didn’t even cross my mind.”

“Oh,” you replied. You hadn’t moved from your spot in the entryway, hadn’t put down your bag or taken off your coat. You just stayed frozen.

“Oh, I have so many feelings!” Dustin wheezed, leaning forward. “Oh, my god!”

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned him.”

“You’re having a fucking baby?” Dustin asked you.

“Yes,” you timidly responded, slowly placing your work bag onto the side of the couch.

“With Steve?!”

“Yes,” you said again.

“That Steve?” Dustin pointed a thumb over his shoulder to where Steve was hovering behind him. “Steve Harrington? Our Steve?”

You nodded. “That Steve.”

“Holy shit,” the boy breathed out.

“Please don’t be mad,” Steve requested.

“What? Mad, why would I be mad?” he asked. “Who’s mad?”

“Well, so far, everyone,” Steve explained.

“Wait, is this why Robin’s not talking to you?” Dustin asked.

“Robin’s not talking to you?” you piped up, concern dripping from your words. 

Steve hadn’t mentioned that part to you yet. 

Robin had been giving Steve total radio silence ever since she had found out. Even at work, she was refusing to say a single word to him. She went and hid in the bathroom anytime Steve tried to say anything at all, and she had even recruited Keith to be her disinterested, detached middle man and relay VHS-related messages if she really needed to. 

To say the least, she really hadn’t taken it all that well.

“Later?” he said to you, silently begging you to table this conversation for a time when you didn’t have a very upset teenager in your kitchen.

Sticky silence fell over the three of you, sealing to Steve’s skin and filling his lungs up in a way he hated. Dustin was the one who peeled through it first. 

“Are you actually having a baby?” The question was directed to Steve this time. Dustin was wildly expressive, he always had been, and he looked very, very overwhelmed. Steve felt about the same. He just nodded, and it took a second for Dustin to properly process the news.

“Gimme the picture again!” Dustin insisted. 

“No, dude! We only have a few and-”

“Excuse me, it’s my nephew, I think I get to see the picture if I want to!”

The tension dissolved as soon as the words came out of Dustin’s mouth. Steve had been so, so worried that he’d be mad, madder than Robin was. 

“Hah! See, Dustin thinks it’s a boy, too!” Steve exclaimed to you. Reservation made way for excitement. Like Dustin said, it’s his nephew.

“Oh, god, please don’t start with this again,” you said, smiling despite the faux exasperation in your voice.

“You think it’s a girl?” Dustin asked.

“I think,” you say as you shuck off your coat and lean against the counter, across from the boys, “that Steve is going to get his hopes up about it being a boy, and then be disappointed if it isn’t.”

“Not possible,” Steve clarified with a smile. “Besides, you don’t have to worry about it because I’m right, and it’s gonna be a boy.”

Dustin didn’t end up leaving until a good few hours later, when Steve noticed how your eyes kept fluttering shut as you leaned against his shoulder. He had to manhandle the boy out the door; he had a seemingly unending vault of questions (“you guys have been sleeping together this whole time?!”), but you were totally wiped. 

You really just wanted to just go to bed, but Steve insisted you ate something first, and a mug of soup later, you were practically dead on your feet. He cleaned up any dinner mess (canned soup doesn’t really result in any mess, but he’d be damned if you had to put your own dishes into the dishwasher), and sent you off to get ready for an early turn in. 

He’d just put the pot away when you summoned him into the bathroom.

“You alright?” Steve asked, leaning against the doorframe. You were standing in front of the sink in your pajamas. He could smell your mouthwash.

“Come look.”

Steve took a step into the bathroom to sidle up next to you as you pulled the bottom edge of your too-big t-shirt up. Your fingers ever so gently ghosted over your stomach.

“That wasn’t there before,” you asked, tilting your head back against the crook of Steve’s arm to look up at him. “Was it?”

Steve was entranced by your reflection in the mirror, by the way the swell of your tummy absolutely gave you away. 

“I don’t know.” Steve spoke just barely above a whisper, the way he would have if he was standing in a church. You felt like an angel beneath his arm. “I don’t think so.”

“I feel like I would have noticed it if it was,” you said, eyes glued to the mirror just as Steve’s were. 

“Definitely would’ve noticed,” Steve quietly gushed. “You officially have a baby bump.”

Realistically, you still had a couple more weeks before anyone else would actually be able to see it. Still small enough to hide behind your clothes, but absolutely, undoubtedly there. 

You hummed, and Steve noticed the way you were trying to hide your smile.

“You’re allowed to be happy about it, you know,” Steve reminded you. Your eyes caught his again, and your small, shy smile grew just a little bit bigger as you pulled his hand away from your hip and placed it firmly against the slope of your tummy. He felt his breath hitch, like the action of touching you was breaking some sort of cardinal law, but he stroked his thumb up and down, up and down across your skin, and you flattened yourself as deeply into his chest as you possibly could. He pressed a kiss to your temple, lingering in the scent of you for as long as he could allow himself to.

His hand stayed glued to you for the remainder of the evening.

Tiny Little Taglist: @sheisjoeschateau @hazydespair @damon-loves-pie @pariahsparadise @anislabonis-love @e509 @alexa4040 @starsforviolet @hoesbloated @luvlexi-darling

[jebewonmorelike]

Pay You Back

wc: 1.3k (failed my own 1.1k challenge but close enough) pronouns: none used; n/a warnings: fluff, some themes of social anxiety/embarrassment in public but nothing descriptive, asking about financial troubles, hao being both your mom and boyfriend, he's in zb1 in this summary: idolboyfriend!hao has to come rescue reader when their card declines at the grocery store and he is not prepared to find out the reason it's maxed out. ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ so i wrote this to see if i could force myself to limit to under 1.1k words... i have a tendency to get carried away and not as many people like longer fics so. i failed bc i went 200 words over but it was a pretty close. anyway if i write shorter works, i can write more so i want to get back in the habit of it. better for my stress levels too lmao. just finished my second "semester" back at school i'm so happy!! third semester stars 7/3 tho so that's annoying but. i have one whole week to do nothing (except work but). ANYWAY hope you enjoy :)

“(Y/N)?” You hear your boyfriend’s voice as he enters the grocery shop. Even though Zhang Hao is quite reserved, he’s more than willing to make a small scene if you’re in trouble. “(Y/N)!?”

The store owner, who is also manning the checkout counter, lifts his arm high enough for Hao to see it over the aisles, pointing at you exaggeratedly— more than unamused.

Hao rushes over to where you stand in the checkout lane; your groceries half-bagged, half sitting askew on the conveyor belt. A couple people are beginning to line up behind you. He frowns, trying to decipher what about this scene could’ve possibly made you text him: 

🚨 EMERGENCY AT MARKET!! PLEASE COME HELP!! 🚨

“Honey, what’s wrong?” He asks, brows furrowed in confusion. “You said there was an emergency!”

“Is not being able to pay for your large grocery order after someone has already gone through the trouble to scan and bag most of it an emergency?” The owner asks, resentful eyes still locked on your embarrassed ones. 

Hao starts to open his mouth to respond, but the owner cuts him off. “I’ll answer for you. It is an emergency... if the owner forgot to pay his utilities bill and the electricity went out while his wife was curling her hair for work this morning.”

Your boyfriend glances at you then back at the store owner. “Right…”

“I tried to just leave, but he kept this exact same rant going for ten minutes,” you whisper to him as the owner continues to moan and groan about how his wife chased him around the house with a slipper. “I’m really sorry to bother you. I know how busy you are.”

Hao shakes his head definitively. “It doesn’t matter how busy I am— I’ll always have time to help you out,” he says with an affectionate smile, raising his hand to squeeze your right shoulder comfortingly. “As long as you continue to conveniently call when I’m already on lunch break.”

You sigh, looking back down at your shoes in embarrassment.

“Did you forget your credit card? Is that the issue?” Hao asks, taking his wallet out of his back pocket before you even answer.

The store owner laughs. “Worse. It declined.”

Hao looks at you concernedly. Maxing out your credit card was not like you at all. Despite the occasional shopping splurge, you were usually quite practical with money. The look of worry on Hao’s face is valid. 

Still, he hands his own credit card to the store owner and begins throwing some of your grocery items into bags himself. As the owner hands Hao his receipt and credit card back, you pick up a few of the bags and head toward the sliding doors. Hao grabs the last bag and follows quickly behind you.

When you’re outside, you breathe a deep sigh of relief; even a couple of people’s annoyed stares had caused your heart to speed up and your body temperature to rise. Hao falls into step beside you, but it takes you a few moments to relax enough to remember he’s there.

When you finally look over at him, he smiles reassuringly. The token introvert had set aside his nature (and sacrificed his coveted lunch break) to rescue you. And he’d also paid for your groceries.

“I’ll pay you back,” you promise softly, cheeks turning rosy once more.

Hao purposely bumps into your side as you walk, trying to get you to smile and break your tension. It works. You scrunch your nose up at him in a smile and he glues himself to your side, hooking a finger in your back pocket to keep you as close as possible as you make your way down the quiet street.

After another few moments of comfortable silence, Hao clears his throat. “So,” he starts, trying his best to sound nonchalant. “Are you behind on credit card payments? There’s no shame in it; it happens.”

“No,” you answer simply, shaking your head as you steal a glance at your boyfriend. You watch as his brow furrows in confusion.

“Oh,” he replies, lips forming a small pout. “Well, you know you could tell me if you were, right? I'd do my best to help you if that’s what you needed.”

“I know,” you say with a smile, watching again as he blinks curiously-- trying to figure out what the problem could be. “I’d tell you if I was having financial problems. I'd refuse your help, but I would tell you.”

“Right,” he affirms, nodding as if to convince himself that he could end his interrogation there. He fails, of course, and an unstoppable flurry of questions begins to fall from his lips. “So... So what happened? Did the card expire or something? Why didn’t you use your debit card? There’s money on your debit card, right? And I know you despise cash, but--.”

You stop walking and Hao’s finger still hooked in the pocket of your jeans pulls him back to face you. “There is an incredibly simple explanation for this,” you explain, placing your grocery bags on the ground for a moment as you pull your credit card out of your phone case. “This card isn’t my usual credit card. It’s a very limited credit account that I opened for a specific purchase. It looks almost identical to my actual credit card I use on a normal basis so I grabbed this one by accident before I left this afternoon. I was in a rush and couldn’t find my debit card, so I took what I thought was my credit card thinking I’d be fine, but... I was obviously not fine.”

“Ohhh,” Hao sighs, nodding in both comprehension and relief. “Well that makes a lot more sense. I was worried about you! I didn’t think you’d suddenly developed some sort of debilitating shopping addiction, but...”

“Rest assured,” you soothe, picking your bags back up and continuing with your boyfriend down the street to the bus stop. “I have plenty of money. I wish I had more, of course. But it’s enough to survive for now.”

“Are you sure you want to take the bus?” Hao asks, running his hand down your back comfortingly. “I can drive you.”

“No, you can’t,” you reply, taking the last grocery bag from his hands and draping it on your arm. You rummage through it for a moment before pulling out a fresh deli sandwich. “Your lunch break is almost over and I've used up all of it already. So, eat this on the way back to Wakeone or I will find you and I will shove it down your throat myself.”

“I can see you’re back to normal,” Hao says with a grin, taking the boxed sandwich in his hand as you reach the bus stop. “I love you.”

“Love you more,” you say, checking to make sure no one is around before kissing his cheek. His eyes closed, he sighs blissfully.

Your bus makes its way around the corner, pulling to a stop in front of you. 

“Oh, I forgot to ask,” Hao says quickly as you walk up the steps. “What was the purchase that you opened that new credit card for?”

You turn around, biting your lip in a smile. “I bought 40 copies of your debut album!”

“YOU DID WHAT!?”

You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen Zhang Hao more shocked than he is right now. You’re lucky the sandwich box didn’t fly out of his hand and onto the sidewalk. 

“It’s okay: I’m pretty sure I made a good investment!” You call back with a wink to your boyfriend, whose jaw is still dropped as the bus door begins to close. “Didn’t I?”

All Hao can do is nod-- a slow, exaggerated nod as he processes what you’ve said.

You wave at him, grinning-- any embarrassment you had felt ten minutes ago entirely washed away. Zhang Hao may have had to buy your groceries for you, but you think you might’ve already paid him back.

As the doors close, you call to a now smiling but awestruck Hao:

“You’re welcome!”

[swan-lite]

Dang it, okay, I have thoughts

James Somerton made an apology video in which he says "I'm sorry" several times but

Couches it in a pity party

Does not directly address any of the people whose work he stole by name

Never uses the word "plagiarism," instead referring to his theft almost exclusively as "citation errors"

James discusses how many videos he and his team were releasing and the frequency of releases as if someone was pressuring them to release a high volume of videos, as if to say it isn't his fault that there were quality problems

James offers to make his videos public again and add "citations" in a pinned comment or in the descriptions as a means of crediting the people he stole from

He also insists that some of the videos won't need these citations because some of them were his own "original work"

(In other words: that he has nothing more to hide)

James states that he isn't bigoted against ace folks, bisexual folks, trans folks, or women and that the several disparaging remarks he has made against these communities in his videos were not written by him

Because we have receipts for several of these remarks thanks to Harry's (hbomberguy's) video on James, we know that they didn't come from the articles and books he was stealing from, so if James didn't write them then the only other person who could have was his cowriter Nick

James then immediately says that he's not trying to blame Nick

James does not try to explain the ace/arophobic, biphobic, transphobic, or misogynistic remarks he has made on his Twitter or Patreon accounts

James mentions - and seems genuinely bothered by - the "people online" who are spreading lies and misinformation about him

Finally, James discusses future projects he would like to work on

He then deleted the apology video

Harry states near the top of Plagiarism and You(Tube) that "When someone more competent than Filip uses [his] techniques in a subtler way, we can recognize them for what they are."

This is not competent. It's not even subtle. James's career was so thoroughly eviscerated literally overnight that this is the best he can do, and it's not even good.

James says that he's sorry, but doesn't actually explain what he's sorry for. He doesn't admit to, or take responsibility for, the extent of what he actually did. In this way, he can now say when confronted that he apologized. But with the wording, he still manages to avoid actually taking ownership of his actions. In other words, it's using passive language to imply that what he has done just happened. He definitely didn't sit down and choose to commit extensive plagiarism - of course not! What really happened? *shrug* Anyway, sorry for it.

When iiluminaughtii (henceforth referred to as Blaire) tried to explain the many times in her video essays she has misspoken or misused words, she played it off as a byproduct of the amount of "work" she churned out for her fans. James is trying to do the same thing here, only it is deeply ineffective. It's quite upsetting to me to think that some of his fans - young queer folks who are probably used to having to make themselves small - might on some level fall for this trick. The idea is to make you the viewer feel guilty for the demands you have placed on this creator, when in reality this is a grown adult who knew exactly what he was doing.

I'm not going to spend too long on this next point. If you've read this far, you're probably invested enough to be well aware that James has used the trick of burying a citation under a mound of text no-one will read many times. It's the same trick Blaire used, and the one The Internet Historian used as well after he was caught.

James stops short of making a "Colombo villian speech" in this apology video. He does, however, take the time to say that he has nothing more to hide. Again, if you've watched Harry's video, you know this literally always means that the person who insists they have nothing to hide is absolutely hiding something else. Whether this is more plagiarism or some other skullduggery we haven't yet found out about, I'm sure it will come to light eventually. I'm honestly surprised and a little disappointed that James tried this tack. Obviously he's thought better of it, since the video is gone now. But I would think a grown human who has just been the subject of an hours-long piece of, frankly, journalism would know better than to say something like this.

With the comments about his bigotry, James is trying to simultaneously redirect attention and perform allyship by saying "Look, I have an asexual friend! Who may or may not be public about his sexuality at this time!" This is the kind of thing I think a lot of us in the queer community are used to - supposed allies downplaying microaggressions by pointing to folks in the ally's proximity who happen to have an identity that they are being accused of speaking badly about. "This one person can stand to be around me, so clearly I can't be all bad." Personally, as someone whose racist parent tries consistently to downplay their own racism by pointing to me, their mixed race child, I can tell you that this is always misleading. In this case, I feel comfortable saying it's intentional. James tries to excuse the bigotry that "ended up in the videos" by saying that he didn't have time to edit the scripts properly. He doesn't seem to realize that time constraints often make people much more honest. In reality, this is James trying to make excuses for the bigotry he put in his videos because the time constraints he put onto himself made it much more difficult to disguise how he really feels.

James then directs some indignation at the people who are online discussing what he did. I would interpret his discussion of his income as an oblique reference to Dan Olson's thread about his recording equipment if I had a degree in literary analysis. My degree is not in literary analysis, so I'll leave it there. Ahem.

James makes reference to future projects he hopes to work on, as if this endeavor has in any way preserved or helped to bolster his shattered reputation. Jessie Gender makes a great point in saying this feels like a promise of work we could get out of him if we all just collectively decide to ignore all the harm he has caused. And James has caused harm. Whether he meant to or not, given the sheer magnitude of his plagiarism, there is absolutely no doubt that he has caused significant harm to a community he claimed to defend.

I want to spend a moment on something others have already pointed out. Actually, Harry pointed this out too. If James's theft were in any way defensible, he would have defended it. He would not have gone to such great lengths - up to and including deleting videos - to hide it. He wouldn't have used Nick as a shield, he wouldn't have outright lied in his livestreams, and he wouldn't have deactivated his Patreon (before reactivating--y'know what, this post is long enough, we don't need to get into that). James lied and dodged and beat around the bush for years BECAUSE he knew what he was doing was wrong. I had a justice studies professor once tell my class that nobody wakes up in the morning and decides to be A Criminal. People make choices, and choices have consequences, but most people don't choose consequences. People choose the thing that benefits them and consequences follow. James made a long, long series of choices, and I would like to remind everyone that they always had consequences. Even before Harry's video came out, James was facing consequences. Those didn't come from nowhere, they came from the people he was hurting. He knew about them, he just didn't stop because of them. He stopped because he literally couldn't keep going anymore.

Finally, James deleted his misguided response to the multitude of accusations against him. I don't think I need to explain to anyone what that indicates.

I would like to finish by saying that nobody should be harassed. Nobody should be bullied, or dogpiled, or doxxed. Nobody should wake up in the hospital because their dad realized he needed to call an ambulance. James's life is undoubtedly in a really difficult place right now, and while he absolutely deserved to lose his career, that's all he deserved. I hope he regains his health, I really do.

And I hope Harry and his team don't feel any responsibility over this. It seems easy from the outside to believe they wouldn't, but I also know that if I had just released a 4-hour long video detailing someone's fraud and then found out they had been in the hospital because of an incompleted suicide, I would feel pretty conflicted about a project we know Harry already felt conflicted about.

I hope Harry and his team are doing okay, and I hope James starts doing okay soon, and I hope James realizes this was the wrong damn time to try to release an apology. It was a bad apology.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

hii

🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓

Hi!

108 for 🐓:

---

Because Eddie always wanted Chris to have fun on Christmas… 

Well, Buck shouldn’t think that. Maybe some people find middle of the night religious excursions fun. No judgement. That’s totally cool. Just… That’s not Chris. 

“Well, I hope you manage to fit some fun in there somewhere,” Buck says. 

“Thanks, Buck,” Chris replies. 

“Say hi to your dad for me, okay?” Buck asks.

There’s a pause. A long pause. Buck regrets saying anything.

“Okay,” Chris says eventually. “Um, are you going to call him?”

Fuck. 

“Yeah, I’ll make sure I call him for Christmas,” Buck promises. “But… You know, you’ll see him before I can, right?”

“Right…”

Buck looks at the time on the airline’s TV display. 

“Uh, Chris, I have to go. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yes, please. Have a good Christmas Eve, Buck.”

“You, too, Chris. Miss you, bud.”

“Miss you, too. A lot.” 

⬅️

Because of the last minute changes, Buck didn’t get to pick the ideal flight. Instead of a flight to Philly, then to L.A. from there, he has to route through Chicago. Not a huge deal, but he’s never been a fan of O’Hare. And that’s where he gets to spend an eight hour layover. Peachy. 

It’s just over two hours to Chicago. Or at least it should be. There’s a delay before take off, and they’re stuck on the tarmac. Then, there’s another delay in Chicago, pulling up to their designated gate. So they’re, once again, stuck on the tarmac. Really fun Christmas Eve. 

By the time he gets off the plane, it’s nearly five. Which he supposes has cut down his layover significantly. He goes to the washroom. Refills his water bottle. Then finds a cheaper - all things being relative in an airport - restaurant to have dinner at and kill some time. It’s only when he’s sat down and ordered a beer that he notices a voice message waiting for him from Eddie. 

Whoa. Interesting. They don’t really do this. They call or FaceTime or text. The voice note feels like a departure from their normal means of friendly communication. Buck just has no idea in which direction. 

“Hey, Buck,” he says. “Uh… I had breakfast with Chris today. He mentioned your gift. Thank you for doing that. Uh, he also said he tried to call and… Well, you’re probably just busy. Hope you’re having a good time. Maybe call him though, when you can? It sounded like he misses you a lot. Thanks.”

Buck takes a deep breath. It’s good to hear his voice. He misses his voice. He responds as quickly as he can, even as the waiter gives him a weird look. 

“Hey, Eddie. Voice note? That’s new. Kinda like it actually. Better than a text, easier than a call. Is that an ad? Could be an ad. I did end up calling Chris a little bit ago. Sorry, I missed his call. I was… Uh, well, it’s been busy. I miss him too, anyway. And, uh… And you. Okay. Bye.”

Eddie opens it. Listens. There’s a read receipt and everything. Buck sort of hopes he replies. There’s no need to. The conversation isn’t open ended. But it could be? Eddie could say he misses Buck, too. They could figure out when they’re going to see each other again… They could… They could make spontaneous, sort of crazy New Year’s plans. Right? 

But Eddie doesn’t reply.

⬅️

Eddie doesn’t reply, but he does call. Hours later. It’s not long before he has to board the next plane. He’s exhausted. He’s antsy. He’s grumpy. Not the ideal time for a call, but it’s Eddie. He answers it.

“Eddie? Hey, man.”

“BUCK!” Eddie practically shouts into the phone. It legitimately hurts Buck’s ears.

“Whoa, hey,” Buck winces. “What’s up?”

“I’ve got… I’ve got a really important question for you, Buck. Buck, I’ve got an important question.”

Buck blinks. Um…

“Eddie, are you drunk?”

[llittletingoddess]

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐒 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐖 🥀

«When the night comes, the stars begin to shine and the greatest crimes begin to come into life»

part 1

part 2

part 3 of multiply

°•○ warnings: age gap, slow burn, original character, cursing, smoking, drinking, mentions of death, mentions of murder, mentions of abduction, manipulation, abuse, national hate, politics mention, discrimination, shooting mention, blood mention, injury mention

°•○ Note from Author: FINALLY! You can't believe how long I wanted to finally release this chapter, cause it's so important for the story, but, unfortunately, this chapter became a healing process for me personally. Through highs and lows, after losing all materials, inspiration and wish to write, after months of hiatus - here it is. And you know what's funny? As I finished this chapter I finally closed that part of my life and I am finally feel free. Lesson learned, and now, despite of having zero free time, I am the happiest, cause I know that I have a shoulder to cry on 🤍 Anyways! I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter!

To the person who deleted months of my work without saying sorry  - Karma will return you your receipt one day

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

III. All Within My Hands

Los Angeles, California

“It’s gonna be one of our biggest meetings ever”, James’ assistant said with a confident tone, making James smirk proudly. After all those long years - here he is, on his peak as the owner of the biggest music company completing his monopoly game. The whole world was in his hands, and God, did it feel nice. James smirked, thinking about such a big success in such a short amount of time and nodded. “Are all of the possible integrations’ partners invited?”, he asked, excited. 

This meeting was supposed to be not only a way to show his success and increase his positions in the music industry’s monopoly, but to invite some world-known partners for a nice integration. That was the best strategy to gain more audience and make more promotion - wouldn’t it be nice to get money from the teenagers who will ask for a premium subscription just to listen to their favorite music non-stop, and later turn it into the biggest and the most expensive family subscription. “Denon didn’t make it but we still have Meta here, so our biggest integration is 90% done”, an assistant said, following James through the long corridors of the Blackened Corporation building. 

He felt inspired and joyful - his company finally got its recognition. Who wouldn’t be happy? After all these long years he was proud to say that he accomplished something he always wanted. James entered the conference room, greeting his colleagues with a smirk and received a round of applause. God, James felt so proud. His ego was treated so damn well, everyone was welcoming him, cheering him, recognizing his success and all the years of hard work he has done.

 “Good morning, colleagues”, James said with a fake smile, hiding his self-rating deep inside. He hated these people so much… narcissistic billionaires who didn’t know what hard work is. Little FBI’s bitches, doing everything to keep their platform growing. But they didn’t need to know how James felt about meeting all these rich faces from “Forbes” and “Time” magazine covers. He walked on the little pedestal that was built so well for him, recognising him, son of poor parents that never supported him and fixed his blazer with a quick touch of his fingers on the fabric. “I hope you are feeling as inspired and proud as I am today”, he said with a bossy tone, holding the sides of the stand with papers on it. 

“First of all, I thank you all for coming here today to celebrate the “Blackened Corporation” growing success. We are living in an incredibly interesting time, time of innovations. And as you all might already know, innovations in the 21st century are equal to capitalism. As I will present the results of Blackened Corporation’s work with audience during the last six months, I hope our success and absolute leadership in the industry will inspire you to provide our product on your platforms”, James said, coughing a little and stared on the big screen behind him, that showed a logo of his company. His assistant started a promotional video, showing what Blackened was all about. There were some new faces and this video was necessary for them to watch. 

“As some might not know, Blackened is all about providing the best music in all ways possible”, he started, staring at the video of people listening to music through his app. “Our engineers make everything possible to provide the best quality of the audio to our customers. We are working with Dolby Atmos technology to make the sound experience as good as possible, so you won’t even notice that you’re actually in your headphones. Blackened App provides the best number of settings and equalizer modes for every different music genre type and every specific task of our customers. Comfort, simplicity, creativity and the best sound experience are our main criteria for work and our credo in developing our application”, James said proudly, looking at the faces of possible investors. Were they curious? Were they interested in the collaboration with his company? He wanted to finish that Meta contract and get the biggest deal his company ever did, and for that he needed to prove to the “Ginger Zucky” that there were no others like James and his corporation.

“With this upcoming season end I am happy to announce that this is the most successful season in the history of Blackened Corporation”, he said, nodding to the applause of his colleagues and partners. James looked at them silently, adoring this glory he fought decades for, and looked at the screen with some diagrammas on it. “This past season, because of our new international contract with the European market our profit increased to 256%. With our new contract with Russian partners we’ve got ten million new subscribers. Our investment in promotion and advertising helped us to reach new highs and find some issues that we quickly fixed. “Blackened App” is an undisputed leader in the field of streaming platforms and I am happy to announce that next year we are going to set new standards in the world of streaming. Not only are we setting the goal to double this year’s profits, but we are looking for new agreements. Next year, “Blackened App” will…

Knock. Crunch. Whistle. Gasps. Panic. James didn’t have time to understand what just happened when a shooting pain crossed his shoulder. He looked at his left shoulder that stained his silver blazer with his own blood, still trying to realize what was going on. Only when he saw blood stains on the screen and his bodyguards covering him with their bodies James realized: he just survived an assault. But how did it happen? Conference room was so high in his skyscraper and his possible partners couldn’t bring any weapons here because he had a strong security system in his headquarters. He grabbed his shoulder and huffed, slightly groaning from pain. “Take care of them first, I’m fine. Cody, stay with me, Jay, Roman, lead them to the safe space. We’ll finish the conference next time”, James said with a pause and turned to look at the direction from where he was almost killed. The glass had a tiny hole that was evidence of the assault. Someone tried to kill him from the roof of the building beside the headquarters. James stared at it, wondering if the sniper was still there and he looked surprised when he saw a silhouette of a person. 

“Cody, there! There’s someone on that fucking roof!”. He shouted, pointing at the building and his bodyguard didn’t need a command to understand what to do. Whoever was that sniper - he lost the shot. James kept staring at the person and.. the person was staring at him? Though it was at least 100 meters from the building, he could tell that the sniper was staring at him fearlessly. “You’re dead, little loser”, he murmured to himself, staring at his killer and smirked when the person escaped the roof, followed by the police sirens. Whoever that was, his days of freedom were over. 

20 minutes later, James received medical help, while Blackened Corporation headquarters were filled with the police officers that already worked on protocol of the assault. Paparazzi and news correspondents were there as well, trying to be the first to get the hot headline for their source. Thankfully, Ryan, his manager, took them on himself. “Mr. Hetfield is receiving medical help and is feeling okay. The upcoming updates will be provided in our social media, so I ask you to leave the building and give Mr. Hetfield some privacy to recover”, the well-looking man said to the journalists, leaving them with a lack of information. 

Meanwhile at the extra exit James was put into an emergency carriage. Medics said that he needed surgery to take off the bullet, and James didn’t have any other choice - just like his killer. When Cody came inside of the carriage, James thought that his killer was caught. Bodyguard panted, holding something in his hand and gave it to his boss to see. “Mr. Hetfield, this was all we found on the roof”, he said, expecting anger from his boss. “How in the hell did you let that asshole escape?” James spat with annoyance and opened the cloth, wondering what was inside, and the thing he saw wasn’t what he expected. A red rose. He stared at the flower in confusion and noticed a piece of paper beside it. He unfolded it and immediately squeezed it after reading a short note from his killer, throwing it into Cody. 

“I need all the information about The Wild Rose”.

***

Los Angeles, California

Leah was going to the city center, staring silently onto posters with announcements of different concerts and events in the city. Carriage had the smell of a middle class people - heavy hot air mixed with the smell of sweat, cheap perfume and cigarettes. That was what she disliked the most in the metropolitan - though she was far away from Moscow, the only difference metropolitan in Los Angeles had were more modern carriages. She held close the guitar case that was on her lap, protecting deep secrets that were hidden into it. 

For the public she was just a young pretty girl-musician that hurried up to her guitar classes. 

For the new world order of this planet - she was The Wild Rose.

Leah left the carriage, fixing her guitar case on her shoulder, fixed her deep black hoodie and put on her favorite playlist with post-punk songs that reminded her about Russia. Its grey, dark, unfriendly streets that were covered in thick smoke, old Soviet apartment buildings and void in grumpy people’s eyes… “Жить тяжело и неуютно, зато уютно умирать”, she quietly hummed to the song’s lyrics, walking out of metropolitan. “To live is hard and uncomfortable, but so comfortable to die” - isn’t it the credo of every person that ever thought about suicide? So comfortable to die.. Leah smirked on the words, getting the quick step to get to her starting point quicker to finish her task by the end of the hour. 

Center of Los Angeles was such a noisy place… after seven years of living in Moscow she was used to the big crowds of people, but LA felt like three Moscows at the same time in the same place! Leah huffed, putting on a hood on her head, trying to be as invisible for people as possible and sneaked into tiny streets with big skyscrapers. She checked the address of Blackened Corporation headquarters in her map and hummed, following the little blue dot on the map. Stupid Los Angeles with tons of houses.. But she couldn’t get a taxi - it was the easiest way to give cops a witness and leave a ton of evidence. She should be careful, and “Careful” was her second name - she’s got her reputation as one of the best international elite killers, she was a joker of the Russian mafia and their secret “emergency button” they pressed in case of someone being way too brave. Like her newest victim, James Alan Hetfield.

Leah knew his name before because she was a customer of his music app, and she was pretty curious to meet him today. What does he look like? Is it a young, tough man full of ambitions with a sporty body? Or was it an older man in a business suit with grey hair? In any case, if he wouldn’t be her victim today she would love to find a way to ride him in his little office. She smirked at her thought and bit her lip, walking to her location. Having quickies with rich men was pretty fun for her. No one knew who she was, and she could’ve made her little fantasies come true: from being a mistress in the house of a big scary KGB boss to being an innocent tourist from Russia who ended up meeting a member of The Royal Family in Buckingham palace. It was her hobby and her lifestyle - after all, she was a free woman and she can do whatever she wants while her personality is being anonymous!

She looked up at the haunted building full of graffiti and broken glass at some places and hummed, walking in. On the opposite side of the building, about a few hundred meters away there was a fancy building of the Blackened Corporation. Leah climbed the stairs in a relaxed mood, chewing her gum and still in her headphones, having a quick look inside of the building. Looked like a place of living for homeless people, and smelled exactly the same. Whatever, she thought, but it better be empty for the next 30 minutes. She didn’t want extra blood today - she won’t get any money for a dead homeless guy.

Once on the roof Leah paused music on her phone and turned the headphones off, letting them hang on her neck. She looked at her location, enjoying how fresh breeze played with her skin and hummed, slowly walking to the edge. She put her hood more on her head to make her face hidden in the shadows and opened the guitar case, revealing her sniper gun. She took a moment to adore it with a smile, pulling gloves that were in the case on her hands to not leave any fingerprints and moved her hand on the cold metal, enjoying the feeling. “Time to get shit done, Becky”, Leah said with a smile and began to install the stander for her gun, doing everything quick and smooth. It wasn’t the first time she used her “Becky”, in fact it was her favorite gun after “Roger” - her little pocket gun with a red rose on it. 

She placed Becky on her stander and turned it into shooting mode, laying on the ground to set it perfectly onto the window of the conference room of the Blackened Corporation. She noticed that there were a lot of people and hummed - too many witnesses, what if someone will notice her? Leah frowned, squirming a little to hide behind the gun and looked at the clock on her phone. It was almost 10AM, so the conference was about to start and she will kill James Hetfield, whoever he was, with only one bullet, like she always did. 

Leah checked her gun one more time in case it wasn’t ready and stared into the conference room through the spy glass of Becky. A door was opened and he saw two men walking in. By the attitude of people, seeing how everyone got up when they entered the room Leah understood who it was. Here he was, James Alan Hetfield in his pride. She watched him, how proudly he walked on the stand that was obviously built for him and smirked, holding Becky tighter. She couldn’t hear what he was talking about and just watched him through her eye-spy glass. 

Her first impression about him was similar to other people’s who met James for the first time - selfish, narcissistic guy with a big ego he loved to treat. Spoiled, he obviously loved the way people looked at him. Leah watched his grin, the way he looked at his potential partners like a wolf at its prey and hummed, understanding why Russians were chasing his head. But the way this man fooled them made her feel respect for him. He wasn’t afraid to take a risk and for some reason it was.. seductive.

Leah watched James, holding her finger on the trigger and tried to stay focused, while her eyes explored him. The way he looked, the way he talked, the way he stood in that room, everything screamed about the power that was inside of this man. Was he one of those men with a golden spoon in his mouth? He went on a big scene right about the time when she went with Konstantine to Moscow. She didn’t know much about him, neither did Russians, how it turned out. James Hetfield was one of the most unknown people that became Leah’s victims and it was such a big contrast with every normal billionaire she chased.. To be known worldwide but unknown to anyone - just like she was. 

Could he feel lonely in this big world like she did? Could he hide his vulnerability deep inside, deep in his stone cold heart like she did? Could he hide all his insecurities and fears under the mask of a powerful businessman? For some reason Leah felt empathy for him, but she shouldn't! He was a victim and she was a killer! She will live with these questions until her own death, never finding out answers to them. She clenched her teeth and pulled the trigger, focusing on her goal and looked in the conference room. 

Did she kill him? 

But what she saw next wasn’t something Leah expected. 

She looked in the spyglass and saw bleeding James still standing on his feet and three bodyguards around him. “Shit!”, she hissed, quickly placing Becky into her bag. She hid behind the edge of the roof and quickly took a piece of paper and paper from the guitar case, writing a little note to him, placing a red rose beside it. Red rose was the sign of her work, so now James will know that it wasn’t over yet. Leah got up, looking on the toned broken glass and had a feeling that someone watched her. She sighed, realising that she left too much evidence and bit her lip, thinking that it was for the better. Now she had the opportunity to find answers to her questions.. But not now. She grabbed her case and rushed away from the roof, jumping through the stairs to have time to escape, and she did it just in time. 

Leah hid in the bushes when men that looked like bodyguards entered the building, searching for her. She slowly moved away from the building, looking for a safer spot where police wouldn't notice her and quickly took off her black clothes, staying in jeans and white t-shirt. She fixed her hair, turning into a guitar student she was supposed to be and carefully sneaked between buildings, putting sunglasses on her eyes. Leah escaped again, but she didn’t kill James like she was supposed to. His image stuck into her mind and she didn’t understand why. But now she needed to disappear from this world in her hideout, expecting Konstantine’s screams and feeling a need for self-reflection. Did she miss her shot on purpose?

[chaifootsteps]

Maybe I'm misremembering (several disorders that cause memory issues will do that to you) but didn't you. Make a post that addressed the things everyone on Twitter is upset about now? Like, *you* brought this stuff up, talked about it openly, but they're treating it like it was this shocking, big secret. Did I miss something? Or is it really as simple as people (as per usual) not really paying attention to where/when/how the information they're using is coming to light?

Maybe because of how long I've been in fandom spaces (been ten years! A whole decade!) I've sort of learned to check who exactly I'm getting information from, but I guess no one else really... Learned to do that? I swear, this sudden implosion wouldn't have been happening if people just... Paid attention.

Sorry if this is rambling at all, I'm just... Baffled. I haven't even been sticking around your blog that long (roughly 2-3 months? Maybe longer) but the stuff everyone's getting up in arms about has been *known* to me. I thought everyone else *also* knew this. I've sent a few asks by now, so I've been around the block here.

Anyways. Long ask, hope you don't mind, but it seems you get a lot of long asks. I may dislike some of the things you ship, but... I dunno. I used to ship ZaDr when I was, what, eight or nine? And I'd be willing to bet some of the people up in arms with you right now also have a few skeletons in their closet, so I'm not putting much stock in the moral high ground they're touting. Just... Hang in there, weather the storm. I know you say you're tough and all that, but a little encouragement never hurt anyone.

It's pretty baffling, and your guess is as good as mine. It's like no, I've never been (or wanted to be) the place in the Viv critical world you go to talk about Viv's bathtub snakes like they're the worst thing she's ever done. That's down the hall and to the right. I'm the unrepentant monsterfucker who's good at keeping receipts and secrets, and have periodically defended Viv's weirder fictional tastes because I don't think they're that big of a deal.

Guarantee you the people up in arms about me have skeletons in their own closets, and not even well-hidden ones. Norry likes Beetlebabes, noncon, and Pentious's feral snake dongs. Artsy's got not one, but two callout videos. I just had someone quote retweet me calling me weird, and then their timeline was full of half-nude, humanized Mickey Mouse art, complete with treasure trail.

Thanks for the encouragement. Would you believe that this isn't the worst rodeo I've endured?

[luxraydyne]

Reconstructing Renju, or Luxraydyne's Renju Receipts

so uh. there were a couple art pieces i wanted to make about 50 years ago that i decided necessitated sifting every line of text in ai the somnium files (2019) to compile every Renju Crumb i could find. anyway i don't have any art. but what i do have is a nifty huge document with every renju mention in the game, including some silly annotations, which i can offer to artists writers and renju enjoyers for their perusal

turns out there's no neat way to organise this stuff to be more searchable since chronological order doesn't really work, so i have tried to create a sort of iceberg-ish format with the most surface-level info at the top and the esoteric interpretative junk at the bottom; in the reblogs i'm gonna add another version i like that's more fun to use but less comprehensive

(disclaimer: no aini in here, sorry, for one million dollars i will deal with the ramifications of my personal sleep paralysis demon, i simply could not be dealing with the migraine)

Sections for Navigation

Level One: File (literally just the stuff in the menu) Level Two: The Carousel Horse's Mouth (flashbacks) Level Three: Hearsay Evidence (direct-ish quotations) Level Four: Known Relationships (with subheadings) Level Five: Bittersweet Reminiscence (subjective memories) Level Six: Finding-Character-Through-What-Is-Out-of-Character Level Seven A: Renju's Experience of Dying (the mind) Level Seven B: Renju's Death Observed (the body) Level Eight: Renju As Ghost/Encryption/Abstraction Level Nine: Scraps, Symbols, YMMV

Level One: File

Age: 37 Birthday: April 13 Profession: Entertainment Company and Maid Cafe Manager Likes: Unusual things Dislikes: Ordinary things Hobbies: Work Skills: Enjoys songwriting Overview: Renju manages the entertainment office Lemniscate and [maid] cafe Sunfish Pocket. He is the ex-husband of Shoko Nadami and Mizuki’s father. He has been Date’s close friend for five years.

Level Two: The Carousel Horse’s Mouth

Renju: “It was my misunderstanding.” Date: “What do you mean?” Renju: “I thought that mothers love their children unconditionally. But some mothers just can’t do that. Well, no, maybe she does love her. But she has a hard time of it. Shoko was never hugged by her mother. Not because her mother wasn’t around. She was raised to never develop a sensitivity to affection. No hugs, no piggyback rides, nothing. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t know how to love Mizuki. When an animal raised in captivity gives birth, sometimes it just doesn’t know how to raise its young. It’s just like that.” Date: “I do feel bad about Shoko… But that doesn’t mean she’s blameless in all this. Someone has to put a stop to it.” Renju: “If I could have, I would have done it a long time ago.” Date: “What about counselling?” Renju: “I did recommend that. She told me, ‘I’m not sick, why should I go see a doctor? Mizuki is the problem, Mizuki is the sick one…’” Date: “Maybe it’s best if Mizuki and Shoko are separated.” Renju: “No, Mizuki would never leave Shoko. She wouldn’t hear of it. Mizuki and Shoko are practically attached at the hip.” Date: “Even with all the hitting?” Renju: “Yes. Even if she’s abused on a daily basis, even if she’s treated like garbage… Maybe… Mizuki is hungry for love. She craves praise and attention and physical affection. She wants it from her mother. That’s why she’s so attached.” Date: “Couldn’t you step in and take over the parenting?” Renju: “I have a company now.” Date: “Lemniscate.” Renju: “And we’re at a crucial stage of development. I can’t take even a single second out of my day to deal with a kid.” Date: “Hey, that’s your daughter you’re talking about. Maybe because you two can’t cooperate on raising a child, Shoko is having trouble coping.” Renju: “That might be it. Maybe this is partially my fault.” Date: … Mama: … Date: “Okay, I’m sorry, but I’m just gonna say it. You two are both awful parents.” - Tuesday (seisAI), Marble (flashback)

Renju: “Hey, Date. Have you ever seen a dead body?” Date: I remember Renju saying that to me, after he and I went through a bottle. Renju: “You’re a policeman. I don’t know what department, but I assume you aren’t handing out traffic tickets. So how about it?” Date: I didn’t answer. I turned the question around on him. Date: “What about you?” Renju: “Me? Well, yeah. Not just one. Countless bodies.” Date: … Renju: “When I was in high school, I had a pretty crazy job. You know the Kumakura gang? I was hooked up to one of their phone fraud scams. I just had to go collect the money from drop points and give it to the Kumakuras. It was an easy job. Eventually, I became friends with the higher-ups. They started taking me with them on jobs.” Date: “What jobs?” Renju: “The target was always an elderly person from the country with no family. Elderly folk who owned a lot of land, you know? They live every day in loneliness and desperation. You just have to be nice to them. That’s all it takes. Guys would get to know the old people, and they would set up and adoption process. After that… You just have to get them really drunk, throw them in the tub full of hot water… And they pass. Just like that. Heart attack, brain hemorrhage, or they simply go to sleep and drown. The police almost never investigate it. It always looked natural, like they died of old age. So the adopted gang members would inherit the land. Then we sell it and make massive profits.” Date: … Renju: “I watched a lot of people get killed like that. And I’ve seen journalists get killed for getting too close to the truth. So, I… I…” Date: … Renju: “Why am I telling you all this?” Date: … Renju: “Hm. Are you going to arrest me?” Date: I took a sip from my glass. I didn’t say anything for a while. Date: “You didn’t do it yourself, right?” Renju: “No, I was always the lookout. But still… Date, I…” Date: Tears fell to the counter, unending. We didn’t say another word until the ice in the glass had melted to nothing. - Monday (syuurAI), Marble (flashback)

Date cuts bluntly through Renju’s false brazenness and euphemism to the heart of this long rambling confession, that Renju was groomed by the Kumakura gang when he was in high school and now, being complicit in gruesome, cruel criminal activity, has no way to expunge the trauma of what he remembers from himself, much like the trauma of digging up Manaka’s body, another double-meaning sitting beneath in all this

Renju: “Wait, you’re going to see So?” Manaka: “Yes. I want to talk to him in person.” Renju: “No, you can’t!” Manaka: “Why not?” Renju: … Hitomi: … Manaka: “Are you worried about my body? You don’t have to worry about that. I’m totally fine.” Hitomi: “But your stomach is still…” Manaka: “Oh, my doctor told me that’s normal. Your stomach doesn’t go down right away after giving birth.” Renju: “I’m not worried about your body! Ah, I don’t know how to explain it… So doesn’t care about you! And especially not your child!” Manaka: “I haven’t told him about giving birth… He contacted me for the first time in a while…” Renju: “So that’s why…” Hitomi: “He wants to know about the baby…” Renju: “He must be panicking. If anyone ever finds out his mistress had his baby, his political career would be over.” Manaka: “It’s not like it was an affair…” Hitomi: “His wife passed away after giving birth to his son, right?” Renju: “It would still be a big scandal. He impregnated a girl who just graduated high school. Don’t you see how that looks? He knew how the public would take it… That’s why he gave you the money to…deal with it.” Hitomi: … Manaka: … Renju: “There’s no way he’ll accept that child.” Manaka: “It’s okay. I told him I won’t cause any trouble.” Hitomi: … Renju: … Manaka: “But, could you take care of the baby? Just for a little bit? I’ll be right back.” Renju: … Hitomi: … Renju: “Fine. But take this with you, just in case. It’s a GPS transmitter. Just to be extra safe.” Manaka: … Hitomi: … Manaka: “I really don’t think I’ll need it… But okay. If it’ll make you feel better.” - (18 years ago) Sagan Residence

Renju may well have been an overly pessimistic, hypervigilant, somewhat neurotic personality already, in fact it's likely he was already traumatised given the Kumakuras had their teeth in him well and good in his teenage years, but I have an inkling Manaka's last words to him and Hitomi were a trauma that has remained raw with ever since and affected all the close relationships he had thereafter, especially with his own child

Renju: “Those are Kumakura men…” Hitomi (present): “We didn’t dare move. We couldn’t speak. We were barely breathing. We could only watch as it all unfolded. I knew what that hole was for. But I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. I remember my heart beating so fast… Before long…” Initiate: “We good here?” Street Boss: “Yeah. Cover her.” Rohan: “Just a minute. Beautiful…” Hitomi: *gasp* Hitomi (present): “The Kumakura people covered Manka’s body, then left. Renju and I ran over…and dug up the grave with a tree branch… What we saw…” Hitomi: *sob* Hitomi: “Manaka… Manaka…” Hitomi: *sob* Hitomi: “We need to… We need to call the police…” Renju: “No, we can’t. Not yet.” Hitomi: “Why not?” Renju: “You don’t know who those guys are. They would do anything to keep this hidden. I’ve seen it happen myself. I know what they’re capable of. Anyway, think about it. Why would they do this? They thought Manaka and her baby were going to be trouble. Manaka’s stomach was still pretty big… I don’t think they know that she gave birth already. What do you think they’d do if they found out? They would take her and kill her too. And then…they’d come for us. They’d make it look like we disappeared. All of us would be…gone.” Hitomi (present): “Renju convinced me. He knew more about the dirty underbelly of society than anyone. He knew when something couldn’t be handled by the police. He said that they would do anything to kill the child. And I believed him. We had to protect Manaka’s baby… We had to, no matter what!” Hitomi: “Okay, I understand…” Hitomi (present): “I decided to trust him. We couldn’t leave Manaka’s body in the forest… We cleaned her up…and took her to the cold storage warehouse.” - (18 years ago) Mountains

Renju: “This warehouse is owned by Okiura Fishery. My father runs it. But it’s not in use right now. They’re moving operations to a better area. They’re actually looking for buyers right now.” Hitomi: … Renju: “But don’t worry. I’ll take over the warehouse.” Hitomi: “Are you sure?” Renju: “Yes. Don’t worry. I’ll keep everyone out. Everyone but you, of course.” Hitomi: … Renju: “I’ll give you a key. You can come visit any time you want to see Manaka.” Hitomi: “Manaka… Don’t worry about the baby. I’ll protect her. No matter what. And don’t worry about them, either. The people who did this to you… I will never forgive them. I’m sorry, Manaka… Sorry… I’m sorry… Manaka…” - (18 years ago) Cold Storage Warehouse

Renju helping the people he loves in the best way he seems to understand – keeping people the fuck away and doing More Work All The Time

Hitomi: “Did you get the birth certificate?” Renju: “The mob doctor took care of everything. I have the birth certificate, and I even picked up a mother and baby book. It wasn’t cheap…but you don’t have to worry about it. Just submit the birth certificate and everything will be taken care of.” Hitomi: … Renju: “You look worried.” Hitomi: “I feel like…I’m somehow betraying Manaka. She was the one who gave birth…” Renju: “Soon, you won’t even be able to think about that. Because a war is about to begin.” Hitomi: “A war?” Renju: “Between you and the baby. You won’t get a good night’s sleep for a long time. You might even start to resent Manaka for all this.” Hitomi: “Really…?” Renju: “Anyway, as soon as you submit the certificate, you will officially be her mother. Be sure to raise her responsibly. I’ll help. Occasionally.” Hitomi: “Occasionally, huh?” - (18 years ago) Sagan Residence

These two taking a different approach to their role in this game of House

Hitomi: “What should we name her? I was thinking about her name. How about ‘Iris’?” Renju: “Iris?” Hitomi: “The goddess of rainbows in Greek mythology. And the colored part of your eye.” Renju: “And the flower, too.” Hitomi: “Right.” Renju: “I thought it might have something to do with your name, Hitomi.” Hitomi: “Hm, not only that. It’s also from Manaka’s name. The kanji for Manaka uses the character for ‘love.’ And ‘Manaka’ reminds me of ‘manako,’ Japanese for ‘eye.’” Renju: “So both names have something to do with the eye.” Hitomi: “And ‘ai,’ which means love, will always be a part of ‘Iris.’” Renju: “So that’s how you came up with the name?” Hitomi: “Don’t you think it’s nice?” Renju: “Iris. Iris. Yeah. I really like it.” - (18 years ago) Sagan Residence

"We", already falling quite neatly into the role of mother and father in the absence of both; Renju and Hitomi grow into almost idealised doubles of So Sejima and Manaka in Iris's life

Hitomi: “About Manaka’s killer…” Renju: “I don’t really want to discuss this, but… There’s something you need to know.” Hitomi: … Renju: “After talking to the Kumakura gang… I found out who killed Manaka.” Hitomi: … Renju: “So’s son. Saito Sejima.” Hitomi: “How…? Saito is only…” Renju: “12 years old.” Hitomi: “Why? Why would a little boy do that?” Renju: “I don’t know the motive, but I know it’s true. So used his connections with the Kumakuras to cover up for his son. And all of the evidence of this scandal, of course.” Hitomi: “I’ll never forgive them. So, his son, or the Kumakuras!” Renju: “I feel the same way. But you can’t think about revenge now. You and the baby can’t lead a life like that.” Hitomi: “Ah…” Renju: “Just bear with it for now. The opportunity will come. So wait until the right moment. Okay?” - (18 years ago) Sagan Residence

Getting to hear Renju speak in his own (sober) voice is fascinating; he can be inappropriately terse, blunt, sometimes stilted and morbid, but compared to what we could infer about him from conversations in the present day with Mizuki and Iris, he is actually surprisingly compassionate and selfless as well as intelligent; we finally see for ourselves why Hitomi described him as kind above all else, when that seemed contradictory to what we knew. Renju seems to have a strange sort of charisma, brusque in a way that might come across as emotionally insensitive, but able to explain his reasoning in such a way that he is very persuasive; we have seen firsthand how his tendency suppress emotional feelings has done unintended harm to others, but in these flashbacks, at a mere 19 years of age Renju's ability to set any immediate feelings aside and assess a situation more practically and “objectively” may have saved his, Hitomi’s, and baby Iris’s lives several times over; in the absence of both her parents, Renju and Hitomi immediately form a ragtag partnership and their dual personalities work fortuitously, she needed them both in her life at that very moment. I add “set aside” in part because of the last flashback where Hitomi has an angry outburst and Renju senses her desire for revenge, and tells her gently to put that to one side “for now” so as to focus on caring for the baby; but as a caveat, he promises that their revenge can come later, he’s just waiting for a suitable opportunity.

Level Three: Hearsay Evidence

Date: “You’ve always got something smart to say, huh? You’re just like Renju.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Driving with Mizuki

Aiba: “In fact, the conversation about you taking care of Mizuki took place here, at Marble.” Date: “Really?” Aiba: “The topic was brought up several times afterward, but the first time was here. Four years ago, after drinking enough ‘liquid courage,’ Renju asked you to take care of Mizuki. At the time, Renju was recently divorced, buried in work at Lemniscate, and mentally unstable.” Date: … Aiba: “It was a display of excellent judgment. It was a good thing that he managed to swallow his pride.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

Aiba here practically doing my job for me.

Moma: “I’ve never even gotten into an argument with the guy.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Kumakura Offices

Date: “What kind of person was your grandpa?” Mizuki: “I never met him. He died before I was born. But Daddy did tell me stories.” Date: “What kind of stories?” Mizuki: “Back when Grandpa was in Great Grandma’s tummy… She was on a passenger ship that got shipwrecked in a storm. She had to have the baby out on the ocean.” Date: “On the ocean?” Mizuki: “Yup. And then, Grandpa was raised by dolphins.” Date: “Hm?” Mizuki: “By the time he was 10, he was catching fish with his bare hands.” Date: … Mizuki: “And then Grandpa got up on land and learned language and culture and stuff. And then he decided to start up Okiura Fishery.” Date: … Aiba: … Date: “Sounds like a tall tale.” Mizuki: “Yeah, Grandpa was a legend. All the fishermen and sailors respected him.” Date: That can’t be true. But there’s a part of me that’s thinking…maybe. After all, Mizuki herself seems superhuman. I’d believe her grandpa was an incredible man. - Monday (youdAI), Date Residence

What a lovely thing to create for a young child. In one conversation with Mizuki we can suddenly understand what it was about Renju that was so loved, despite everything else.

Date: “Do you have any memories of Renju here?” Mizuki: “Sometimes we would talk when I came over to hang out.” Date: “What kind of things did you talk about?” Mizuki: “Nothing special, the usual.” Date: “‘The usual’?” Mizuki: “‘Are you doing well? Have you been eating right?’…” Date: “Ah, so that’s the usual.” - Tuesday (seisAI), Lemniscate

Mizuki: “But there’s more to it than that. There are other reasons. Daddy was totally taken in by her talent.” Date: “Her talent?” Mizuki: “Dancing, really. Her dancing is what got her into Lemniscate. He knew ever since she was young that she would be talented. He didn’t want any other agencies to have her.” Iris: “I didn’t know that…” Mizuki: “Daddy’s not the type to give compliments…” Iris: “Haha, this is kind of embarrassing… I didn’t know he thought of me that way.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sunfish Pocket

Iris: “About three months ago, Mr. Okiura told me something… He said that I can’t dance.” Date: “Why?” Iris: “I dunno… He said something about being ‘over-reliant on dancing and neglecting my singing.’ ‘You should stop dancing for now and practice singing.’” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Bloom Park

Date: “About the shooting on Monday…” Saito: “Just mercenaries I hired. After I woke up Monday, I arranged the hit. They were expensive, but I had access to Renju’s bank account. I paid them with his money.” - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

Level Four: Known Relationships

Shoko Nadami

Aiba: “Nadami, Shoko. 36 years old. Female. Residence: Meguro District. Met Date, Kaname five years ago through her husband, Okiura, Renju. Date and Renju were so-called “old drinking buddies.” Renju and Shoko had one child together. A daughter named Mizuki, the prime suspect of this case. Four years ago, they were divorced. Shoko returned to using her maiden name, Nadami.” - Saturday (saikAI), Boss’s Office

Renju and Shoko divorced when Mizuki was about 8. We know that Renju and Shoko married young, though no mention of her in flashbacks to 19-year-old Renju, meaning they were most likely in their early twenties when they were married and divorced after approximately a decade.

Date: Mizuki Okiura… The girl we found in the merry-go-round. She’s 12 years old, in the 6th grade. - Saturday (saikAI), Boss’s Office

They had Mizuki when Renju was 25 and Shoko was 22.

Date: “Do you know Renju’s ex-wife?” Hitomi: “Yes, I do… But I only met her twice. Once at Renju’s wedding, and then again just a few months ago. Why do you ask?” Date:“No reason.” - Saturday (saikAI), Sagan Residence

Date: “Why did you kill Shoko?” Mayumi: “Renju’s ex-wife, right? I did it…to get to him.” Date: “But the two divorced four years ago.” Mayumi: “Th-That doesn’t matter! The bonds of matrimony are eternal!” Date: “In your opinion. I don’t think Renju felt the same way.” - Tuesday (zugAI), Interrogation Room with Mayumi

Saito: “Like you guessed, my personality was in Shoko, Renju’s ex-wife. That made calling Renju easy. ‘I need to talk to you about something.’ He came over without question. I think it was around 4:00pm? I had him meet me at the chemical plant. I made Renju go to sleep… Psynced, switched personalities… And then stabbed Shoko’s discarded body with an ice pick.” - Tuesday (jinnAI), Interrogation Room with “Boss”

Kaname Date

Date: “Have you picked up Renju yet?” Boss: “He’s at a police station nearby, being interviewed. He’s not a suspect yet, just standard procedure stuff.” Date: Renju is Shoko’s ex-husband and Mizuki’s father. Not to mention, an old friend of mine… Date: “I wonder what Renju was doing last night… I did call him a few times. He didn’t answer.” Boss: “He didn’t?” Date: “No…” - Saturday (saikAI), Boss’s Office

Date: “Look, I don’t want to believe it either. I’ve known him for more than five years now. He’s like family to me.” Date: I’d never want to put cuffs on him. I would never want Mizuki to see that… - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Boss: “You look awful. Have you been sleeping any?” Date: “My best friend was murdered, Boss. I don’t have it in me to sleep right now.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Boss’s Office

Mama: “You used to come all the time. You and Ren, grumbling over your glasses of bourbon. Laughing, drowning each other’s sorrows… Sometimes getting into arguments… One time, it even became a real fight. You remember that?” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Marble

Date: Why did Renju come here Friday night? Was it to place Shoko’s body here…? Or did he have another reason? Renju is my friend. I want to believe him, but I don’t [know] how long I can keep defending him. Where is he? What is he doing? I’ve thought it over a thousand times. My head is heavy with it. - Tuesday (dakkAI), Bloom Park

Date: Hit him. Aiba: “This is for neglecting your responsibility to Mizuki, you coward! No use. I can’t hit him.” Date: “This Renju is still a teenager. He wouldn’t know Mizuki yet…” - PSYNCIN’ IN THE MOUNTaiN

It seems part of Renju, like Hitomi, stayed that scared teenager until the day he died, stuck in that one night quite literally frozen in time

Mama/Marble

Mama: “That’s right. And I won’t charge you this time. Just promise to get the bastards who did this to Ren for me.” Date: Right. This is for Renju. Date: “I promise.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

Aiba: “This is a painting of Saint Sebastian. Saint Sebastian was a faithful Christian who lived under Roman emperor Diocletian. On January 20th, 288 A.D., he was martyred. This painting depicts his execution.”

Slaps St Sebastian's head. "This intertextuality can fit so much mileage in it."

Mama: “Something wrong, Date? You’re staring awful hard.” Date: “Nothing, just caught my eye.” Mama: “Why now, of all times? That’s been hanging there for a while.” Date: “Really?” Mama: “Yeah, it was a gift from Ren a while back. I’ve always had it there.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

So one assumes Date hadn't noticed or enquired about the picture until just now, even though it's been "hanging there" in the back for some considerable time. See what I mean about that mileage, baby?

This dialogue occurs on Sunday on both sides of the flowchart; on the right side, the exchange occurs with Mizuki present.

Iris Sagan

Iris: “Well, at first, all I did was stream from home. And then, not to sound cocky, but…I started getting pretty big. I started getting offers from agencies.” Date: “And one of them was Lemniscate?” Iris: “Well, not exactly.” Date: “Huh?” Iris: “My mom’s actually an old friend of the president of the agency.” Date: “A friend of Renju’s?” Iris: “Yeah. So, I asked him for advice one day. You know, you have to be careful. Even a place that looks legitimate, with an office and everything, can be sketchy. And my mom and I didn’t know anything about the industry at all… Anyway, one day, Mr. Okiura said to come see him at his office, and he hooked me up.” - Saturday (saikAI), Driving with Iris

Iris: “Marble. It’s a bar in Golden Yokocho.” Date: “You know about that place?” Iris: “Yeah, Mr. Okiura took me before…” - Sunday (gumAI), Driving with Iris

Iris: “Mr. Okiura helped me when I was just starting out. You know how my mom is single? He really supported her. He even changed my diaper when I was a little baby. I got hired by Lemniscate all because of him.” Mizuki: “Iris used to stream all her own content. Like singing and dancing and gaming and stuff. But before we knew it, she went viral.” Date: “Right, I heard about that. That’s how she started getting offers, right? But because Iris’s mom knows Renju, she decided to go with Lemniscate.” Mizuki: “But there’s more to it than that. There are other reasons. Daddy was totally taken in by her talent.” Date: “Her talent?” Mizuki: “Dancing, really. Her dancing is what got her into Lemniscate. He knew ever since she was young that she would be talented. He didn’t want any other agencies to have her.” Iris: “I didn’t know that…” Mizuki: “Daddy’s not the type to give compliments…” Iris: “Haha, this is kind of embarrassing… I didn’t know he thought of me that way.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sunfish Pocket

Iris: “About three months ago, Mr. Okiura told me something… He said that I can’t dance.” Date: “Why?” Iris: “I dunno… He said something about being ‘over-reliant on dancing and neglecting my singing.’ ‘You should stop dancing for now and practice singing.’” Date: “But during your livestream…” Aiba: “She was dancing.” Iris: “Because I was…sad. After I stopped dancing, I lost so many fans… They said terrible things to me. Like that I’m worthless if I can’t dance.” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Bloom Park

Doesn’t sound entirely out of character for Renju, counter-intuitive self-preservation instincts that cause him to neglect the feelings behind the actions of others; however, in this case we can be fairly sure there is some other motive behind this, we have it from Mizuki that Renju greatly admired Iris’s talent for dance and encouraged herself to build a fanbase/market around that. Hitomi recounted a couple of occasions where Iris accidentally hurt herself in her enthusiasm for dancing; one possibility is that Iris’ neurological condition, worsening over the past few months with her tumour and increasingly unpredictably hampering her motor function, and Renju became sufficiently uneasy about the possibility of Iris injuring herself again while dancing that he told her directly to stop (Iris says Renju told her that "I can’t dance", not that she "shouldn’t" and we know for sure that Iris has the ability to dance, suggesting something greater prohibiting her from doing so—rather how someone with a broken leg would say, "I can’t walk"), which is causing Iris emotional distress instead (and failing to really protect her from the physical risks, given she is continuing to dance on stream anyway to self soothe and placate her fanbase); this fits into a pattern of behaviour of taking drastic measures to protect those close to him from perceived danger and causing more emotional hurt in so doing

Iris: “Guess I’ll tell you now. Sunday, at 2:00am, I was visited by…” Date: … Aiba: … Iris: “Renju Okiura.” Date: “What?!” Iris: “He seemed really sick… Probably because of his injury. At the time, I had no idea what had happened to him. He was sweating buckets, and he came up to me with this begging look in his eyes… He said, ‘Come with me.’ He seemed really desperate. I couldn’t say no. So I got into his rental car… We went somewhere, I dunno where. Some deserted building. Mr. Okiura got out of the car, then grabbed my hand. He tried to pull me inside. I got scared… I pulled my hand away and ran.” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Ikume Shrine

Good lord that’s twice someone just "couldn’t say no" the pretty please energy on this man must be insane Saito got mad lucky (that line is clearly subtext code for "adores and trusts Renju to the point of doing irrational things to try and help him even when he’s acting weird and OOC", though Iris’s self-preservation instinct ultimately prevails and changes her mind where Pewter never does)

Date: “Why didn’t you tell me this?” Iris: “Mr. Okiura has done so much for me. He took care of me as a kid. He helped me at Lemniscate… I wanted to trust him. No matter what happens, I can’t think of him as a bad person. I mean, he never did anything bad to me… He came to my house at two in the morning and tried to take me to an abandoned building, but… You never know. Maybe he wanted to show me some flowers, or…something that he found. Or it was like, a prank he was filming for the internet or something… That’s what I thought at the time. That’s…what I kept telling myself. But after hearing everything you’ve told me, I can’t see Mr. Okiura the same way. Maybe he’s a part of Naix. Maybe he’s trying to…” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Ikume Shrine

Saito: “I was still in Renju’s body. My next target was Iris. If I asked her to come to the abandoned factory, I knew she would be skeptical. So I called her to Sunfish Pocket. I even video called her. But for some reason, she said no. This was around 5:00pm. I was still Renju, the president of Lemniscate. I didn’t think I would have any trouble getting her to trust me, but…” - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

Hitomi Sagan

Hitomi: “Renju was my classmate at Eitoku High. We’ve known each other for 20 years now.” - Saturday (saikAI), Sagan Residence

Mizuki: “I saw So on my way home from the police station. Aiba: “Where?” Mizuki: “I was getting dropped off at home.” Date: “Was he alone?” Mizuki: “No, someone was walking next to him. My homeroom teacher…” Aiba: “Homeroom teacher?” Mizuki: “She’s also my mom’s best friend. It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later…” - Wednesday (sanpAI), Ikume Shrine

Either Shoko considers Hitomi to be her "best friend", having only met her twice, which is horribly depressing, or this is a translation bug and Mizuki should’ve said "dad’s best friend"

Hitomi: “I may have told you this already. I met Renju’s wife Shoko twice before. The first time at the wedding… The second time a month ago… That second time…was in the waiting room of the prison.” - Monday (jukkAI), Sagan Residence

Date: “You said you and Renju knew each other from high school, right?” Hitomi: “Yes, at Eitoku High.” Date: “And you work at the public school here?” Hitomi: “That’s right. A district elementary school.” Date: “Is that a coincidence? You becoming the teacher of your friend’s kid?” Hitomi: “Well, I hadn’t always planned on being a teacher, but… It wasn’t a coincidence that Mizuki ended up in my class. Renju seemed really intent on sending Mizuki to a school where I was teaching. They even moved to get into my school district. That was about five years ago, in spring.” Date: “Before the divorce?” Hitomi: “Yes… But I heard that Shoko didn’t have a problem with the move.” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Date Residence

Date: “How is Mizuki at school?” Hitomi: “She’s a little quiet, but she’s a very clever girl. And more than anything, she is kind.” Date: “Kind?” Hitomi: “When I’m carrying heavy bags, she’ll come and help me without asking. When I’m troubled, she’ll sometimes pick flowers to give to me. Not that she has a perfect disciplinary record…but she’s a good girl.” Date: “What’s on her record?” Hitomi: “There are a few incidents. Once, she let out all the frogs that were going to be used for science class. Another time, she punched a bully so hard that he chipped a tooth.” Date: “Sounds like more than just ‘incidents’…” Hitomi: “But I like that about her… She’s a little clumsy… And just like Renju.” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Date Residence

Hitomi: “Then, I heard footsteps. And then a bunch of men yelling. They were looking for him. When the voices and footsteps faded, he let me go. ‘Don’t call an ambulance, and don’t call the cops.’ I knew he had to be a criminal. So I took him to an underground clinic I knew.” Date: “You took him to a mob doctor?” Hitomi: “Renju’s friend. I only met him once.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sagan Residence

This meeting would've been when Renju and Hitomi left newborn Iris in his care before leaving to search for Manka's GPS signal

Date: “Where is Renju?” Hitomi: “Did something happen to him…? Did something happen to him…?” Date: There’s no point hiding it. I told her about Renju’s disappearance. Hitomi: “Right from the hospital…? I’m sorry… I have no idea.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sagan Residence

Date: “What about your parents?” Hitomi: “They died when I was 17. I was an orphan, and my relatives lived far away. Then might have taken me in, but I was already in my second-to-last year of high school. It wasn’t a good idea for me to move that late. So I decided to stay here, by myself.” Date: “And take care of Iris.” Hitomi: “Yes, all alone. But Renju would help sometimes.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sagan Residence

Date: “Her name is Manaka Iwai. She was killed when she was 19. She went to the same high school as you, and she was your best friend. Isn’t that right?” Hitomi: … Date: “Nothing to say for yourself? Hiding something?” Hitomi: … Date: “Maybe you killed her with Renju.” Hitomi: “That’s ridiculous!” Date: “Oh, now you’re talking. But we know Renju committed a crime. Illegally disposing of a body. And we can prove it.”- Tuesday (kenzAI), Interrogation Room with Hitomi

Aiba: “A flower bud. I cannot identify what variety.” Date: Worship it. Aiba: “‘Worship’ it?” Date: “Yeah.” Aiba: “I will pray to it as thought I am mourning the dead.” - PSYNCIN’ IN THE MOUNTaiN

Hitomi and Renju’s “God” is grief

Aiba: “This is… A picture of Hitomi, Renju, and Manaka.” Date: “Everyone is so young… Hold on to that.” - PSYNCIN’ IN THE MOUNTaiN

Mizuki Okiura

Date: “Renju is Mizuki’s legal guardian. Did you get permission from him?” Boss: “I couldn’t get in touch with him.” - Saturday (saikAI), Psync Room with Mizuki

May not be possible to say for sure, since Shoko is dead and everyone is obviously talking about her in the past tense and like she no longer exists, even if she was also a legal guardian of Mizuki, but from context clues it does seem likely that Mizuki was left in Renju’s sole care as part of divorce proceedings

Aiba: “When she is in a mood, it’s impossible to get her to talk. That’s the kind of girl she is.” Date: “Heh, sometimes I think you know her better than I do.” Aiba: “How long do you think I’ve been observing her?” Date: “It’s been four years now…” - Saturday (meikAI), Psync Room with Mizuki

Renju surrendered Mizuki into Date’s care four years ago, around the time of the divorce, when Mizuki was eight and seemingly very soon after Renju was seemingly given sole legal custody of her

Date: “Mizuki. Renju sent you that NILE message, didn’t he?” Mizuki: “What…?” Date: “I got this buddy of mine. Real bad personality, but real good with technology. I got some help from them.” Aiba: “‘Bad personality’?” Date: “There was a message sent at 8:05 last night. Does this sound familiar? ‘Mizuki, Daddy got caught up in something serious. Please come to Bloom Park’s merry-go-round right away. Daddy needs your help. Please, do as I say.’” Mizuki: “Yeah, that was it… It was from Daddy’s phone… But I didn’t want to say anything, because that would make Daddy a suspect, so…” Date: “So you kept quiet.” Mizuki: “Yeah… My dad’s never said anything like that to me, ever. That he was counting on me. I had to go.” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

This dialogue occurs on both sides of the flowchart; on the right side, the exchange happens on Sunday at the Date Residence, with Hitomi present.

Mizuki: “I’m Renju’s daughter. Maybe I’ll notice something you don’t. Something only his daughter would know.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Driving with Mizuki

Turns out, asked the question, Mizuki can’t come up with anything. She does have something to add about Shoko though.

Date: “Do you have any memories of Renju here?” Mizuki: “Sometimes we would talk when I came over to hang out.” Date: “What kind of things did you talk about?” Mizuki: “Nothing special, the usual.” Date: “‘The usual’?” Mizuki: “‘Are you doing well? Have you been eating right?’…” Date: “Ah, so that’s the usual.” - Tuesday (seisAI), Lemniscate

These "usual" exchanges are something Mizuki says she craves in a father-figure, yet something about this with Renju doesn't sit right for her.

Mizuki: “That’s why maybe me and Mom and Daddy weren’t able to be a family. Our whole lives, we never could be ordinary. Even if I tried my hardest to be normal, it would just be awkward… Eventually, I got tired of trying.” Date: … Mizuki: “I killed them.” Date: “What?” Mizuki: “I…killed…Mom and Daddy.” - Tuesday (seisAI), Bloom Park

Date: “You’re her teacher?” Hitomi: “Yes, elementary school.” Date: “I didn’t know you taught at Mizuki’s school.” Hitomi: “I didn’t know Mizuki was living with you. I knew about her…circumstances with Renju, but… He described you as a relative. But I suppose not. Mizuki explained the situation to me.” Date: Mizuki lives here with me. But I’m not her legal guardian. That’s why I’ve never been to school with her or anything like that. That was all left to Renju. He might not be any good at raising her, but he is her father. He takes care of all the official stuff. That was one of the conditions for me taking in Mizuki. - Sunday (gyoukAI), Date Residence

Date: “Where is Renju?” Mizuki: “I don’t know where he is…” Date: “Can you think of anywhere he might go?” Mizuki: “No, not really… I don’t know where Daddy goes…” Date: “Did he visit you when you were in the hospital?” Mizuki: “No… But I didn’t expect him to. He’s always busy. He doesn’t care about me…” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Date Residence

Mermaid: “Mizuki comes here a lot. She’s really friendly with everyone.” Mizuki: “I like it here. Everyone treats me nice.” Date: “Is it because you’re the daughter of the owner?” Mizuki: “No, it’s not like that.” Mermaid: “We’re BFFs!” Aiba: “She wields extraordinary power with that trident.” Date: “The Okiura family is really something else.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sunfish Pocket

The mermaids seem to have given Mizuki an orichalcum trident, the highest "rank" of customer, for free

Date: “Do you know where your father is?” Mizuki: “If you’re asking me… He’s involved in all this, isn’t he?” Date: … Mizuki: “Is he the culprit?” Date: … Mizuki: “Did he really kill Mom?” Date: … Mizuki: “Well… I guess it’s understandable that he’d be a suspect. After Mom got killed, he didn’t even call. And he called me out to Bloom Park for some reason… I thought it was suspicious. But… But… I pretended not to notice. I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I wanted to believe in Daddy…” Date: … - Tuesday (dakkAI), Matsushita Diner

Very noticeable how much more readily pretty much everyone is able to "give up" (not quite an accurate term, Mizuki thinks her father murdered her mother based on pretty much the same little evidence available as Date who’s been otherwise occupied) on Renju in the route where he is assumed to still be alive for the duration, with less evidence than stacks up rapidly on left side of the flowchart when Mizuki and Date and even Boss are still giving him the benefit of the doubt until Saito literally spells out the truth (contrast Mizuki implying here that part of her always knew her father was the most likely candidate for Shoko’s killer, to her repeated assertions on the left side that he must be somehow innocent, which get "confirmed" when he is found strung up in Sunfish Pocket); it is as though Renju can only be vindicated in death – it is when his putrefying battered corpse is found on right side that everyone seems to collectively realise his innocence

Date: “Why didn’t you call the police?” Mizuki: “What was I supposed to do?! Daddy would have been in trouble!” Date: “So you kept quiet this whole time?” Mizuki: “Yeah…” - Tuesday (kenzAI), Ikume Shrine

Iris: “Uncle wants to know why you’re here.” Mizuki: … Iris: “‘No particular reason. Am I not allowed to be here? I inherited Daddy’s stock at Lemniscate. This is my company now, isn’t it natural that I’d be here?’ That’s what she said.” - Three months later (kassAI), Lemniscate

Pewter

Date: “You seem troubled, Pewter.” Pewter: “Two murders, one right after the other… How could I not be?” - Sunday (syokubAI), Boss’s Office

Date: “Why are you here, anyway?” Pewter: “Am I not allowed to be here?” Date: “No, I didn’t mean it like that..” Pewter: “I was here first. I was just talking to the Boss about Renju’s murder.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Boss’s Office

Date: “Any thoughts on the culprit?” Pewter: “Renju had his left eyeball removed.” Date: “Right, Shoko too.” Pewter: “So perhaps, Mr. Date, you are the killer. You’re missing your left eye. So you steal them from others. Date: … Aiba: … Pewter: “I’m kidding! Only a joke.” Date: “I’m too tired for your jokes right now, Pewter.” Pewter: “Actually… You lost your eye six years ago, correct?” - Sunday (syokubAI), Boss’s Office

Sometimes foreshadowing is relatively obvious. This is like, the second time minimum that Pewter has made an inappropriate "joke" about this exact subject, so starting to think that last line is more than merely a hint for us, the player.

Date: “This is… This is the wristwatch Renju always wore. No doubt about it. But how did this get here?” - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

Mama: “Well, there was the ‘watch incident’… I’m sure you remember that one.” Date: “Watch incident?” Mama: “You don’t remember? Your drunk ass spilled your beer on Ren’s watch. Ren was furious, yelling about how ‘this watch is more important than my life!’ Or whatever… He blew up on you. That was the only time I’ve ever seen Ren that mad. That’s why I remember it so well.” Date: “Was it this watch?” Date: I pulled out the watch I had in my pocket. It was the one I found in the oil drum at Sunfish Pocket. Mama: “Yeah, that’s it! Why do you have it?” Date: … Mama: “Was it…at the scene?” Date: … Mama: “Ren was given that watch by his lover. It was an anniversary gift, I think…” Mizuki: “Lover?” Mama: “Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot Mizuki was here…” Mizuki: “No, it’s fine.” Mama: “But of course, it wasn’t an affair. This was all after he was divorced.” Mizuki: “Daddy…had a new lover…” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

Date: Pewter took the cigarette butt from me. Boss: “If the DNA on that cigarette butt…matches the bloodstain in the warehouse…” Pewter: “There would be no doubt that So Sejima is our mysterious polar bear.” Boss: “How long will it take to analyze?” Pewter: “If I had six hours…” Boss: “You’ve got three.” Pewter: “That’s totally unreasonable… But, I suppose. I will do my best to have this analyzed in three hours.” Date: “You folded pretty easily on that one.” Pewter: “I want to catch the criminal as soon as possible. That’s all.” Date: … Boss: … Pewter: “Now, because time is of the essence… Excuse me.” - Tuesday (seisAI)

For completeness, he does it in exactly two hours, 41 minutes.

Date: “Pewter, is it true? The results are in?!” Pewter: “Yes. The DNA I collected from the cigarette but is a positive match to the bloodstain from the warehouse.” Date: “Really…? It was So all along? He was the polar bear! He carved out Iris’s eye and stabbed Ota! And probably killed Renju and Shoko…” Aiba: “Making So Sejima the New Cyclops Killer…” Date: “Thank you, Pewter.” Pewter: “Don’t thank me yet. Hurry up and get So.” - Tuesday (seisAI)

Date: When I left the warehouse, I saw Pewter. What is he doing here? He walked up to me while I was trying to work it out. Pewter: “Date, I have to talk to you about something.” Date: “Huh…?” Pewter: About the Original Cyclops Serial Killings.” Date: … Aiba: … Date: “Why this, all of a sudden?” Pewter: “Because I want you to solve this case, Mr. Date. I want you to find who did this and bring them to justice. So if I can help you, even a little…” Date: “Why didn’t you say anything at ABIS?” Pewter: “The Boss was there. I couldn’t speak openly in front of her.” - Monday (jukkAI), Warehouse District

Date: Pewter looks grimly serious. - Monday (jukkAI), Warehouse District

Date: “Why are you so cooperative?” Pewter: “Because I know that the Boss is my enemy. I got the video from Aiba. I processed it and found that it showed no sign of tampering or editing. Which means there can be no mistake. The Boss shot and killed So Sejima. After pulling out his left eye. That makes the odds of her being the culprit behind the other murders very high. Or maybe she had accomplices. Either way, she’s a criminal. That’s why I am cooperating with you, Special Agent Date. I want it as bad as you do. The truth.” - Tuesday (jinnAI), Psync Room

Mama: “Yeah, his favourite watch. He got it from his new lover… An anniversary gift. Oh, this was of course after the divorce. Ren was so happy, he showed it off to me. He’s had that watch on him ever since.” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Marble

Mama: “Can you come back again tonight? There’s a regular here who was good friends with Ren. They should be here tonight. If you ask him, he might have some information for you.” - Monday (syuurAI), Marble

Date: “Mama, I wanna ask you something.” Mama: “What is it?” Date: “Those gunmen were waiting for us. Did you tell anyone we were coming?” Aiba: “That’s right. You did tell Mama that you were coming. And that you were bringing Iris.” Mama: “Hm, well… I did tell one person…” Date: “Who?” Mama: “The person I was gonna have you meet, of course. Same guy who gave Ren his watch.” Date: “What’s his name?” Mama: “Futa, I think. Futa Amanoma.” Date: ! Aiba: ! Date: “What?!” Aiba: … Date: … Aiba: “That’s…Pewter…” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Marble

Date: “You told those men that Iris and I were going to Golden Yokocho, didn’t you?” Pewter: “Yes. I did. Renju hired them.” Date: “Renju did?” Iris: “Which means Mr. Okiura is in with Naix…” Pewter: “Naix?” Date: “Don’t play dumb. I know you’re with them.” Pewter: “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just helping Renju.” Iris: “Did you help #89 get away?” Pewter: “How much does she know?” Date: “Just answer the question.” Pewter: … Iris: … Pewter: “Yes, I did.” Date: “It’s been bothering me… How was #89 able to escape from Metro so easily? And you were the one being held hostage. If you were helping him the whole time, it all makes sense.” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Psync Control Room

Date: “Is it true that you were the one who gave Renju his watch?” Pewter: … Date: … Pewter: “Yes, that’s true.” Date: There was no need to ask anything else. Why did Pewter help Renju? His last answer was all I needed to hear. - Tuesday (dakkAI), Psync Control Room

Date: “Why did Renju escape with #89?” Pewter: “I don’t know. I-It’s true, please, believe me! Renju said that he needed him. That’s all I know.” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Psync Control Room

Pewter: “Two days ago, Renju escaped from the hospital. Renju asked me on the phone to report everything about Shoko’s murder case. That’s what he wanted. Yesterday… The Boss told me that #89 was coming. Then, Renju asked… ‘Is there any way we can let #89 escape?’ I was conflicted. I thought hard about it… But it was Renju asking. Someone I love. And he sounded like he was on death’s doorstep. He was begging for help. I couldn’t say no. With my intelligence, I was quickly able to come up with a plan. You know what the results were.” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Psync Control Room

Date: “I see. So where is Renju?” Pewter: “Even if I knew, why would I tell you?” Date: “Because you don’t want more holes in your body than you already have.” Pewter: “You can’t.” Date: “Why not?” Pewter: “Date, I didn’t tell you all this because you were threatening me. I genuinely wanted you to know. To understand. The truth, Date.” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Psync Control Room

Moma: “That jackoff who took Tesa, Pewter, right? What’s his deal?” Date: “I think Renju asked him to do all of this.” Moma: “Renju?” Date: I told Moma about Renju and Pewter’s relationship. Moma: “Oh, that’s right… Renju was lookin’ for Tesa.” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Warehouse District

Saito: “By Monday, Renju’s body was almost completely dead. And of course, my consciousness as well. That’s when I got a call. From a Mr. Amanoma… The man you call ‘Pewter.’” - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

Receptionist

Date: “Things have been pretty serious around here lately. Receptionist: “Yeah, totally. You never think about, like, my boss getting murdered, y’know? Like, what are even the chances? That’s like, the odds of hitting the lotto.” Date: … Receptionist: “But it was kinda lucky in a weird way? Some of my old friends hit me up, asking about it, y’know? Feels like we’re old alumni or something.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Lemniscate

Date: “Who hired this woman?” Mizuki: … Aiba: “The most likely scenario is that the final decision was made by the head of the company.” Date: “Renju.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Lemniscate

Kumakura Gang

Moma: “I’ve been looking after that guy since high school. It was the usual stuff. I had him help me with a lot of work.” Date: … Moma: “But now, it’s kind of the opposite, y’know? We’re getting work from him. Well, we were. Now that he’s dead though…” Date: “What ‘work’ did he have you do?” Moma: “Eh, the usual. If talent at his office was causing trouble or something…” Date: “You ever get into any disputes with Renju doing this ‘work’?” Moma: “No way, he paid good money. I’ve never even gotten into an argument with the guy.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Kumakura Offices

Mama: “You know about Renju and the Kumakura gang, right?” Date: “Yeah, I know. I heard it from his own mouth right here.” Mama: “Do they have anything to do with the talent scandal at Lemniscate?” Date: “Maybe now they do, since Renju is the president of Lemniscate. But even before that…Renju and the Kumakuras go way back. All the way back to high school.” - Monday (syuurAI), Marble

Bit sad that Date can remember when Renju drunkenly told him about the trauma of being present at multiple murders under coercion, but not about Renju getting uncharacteristically angry at him out of love; makes sense from a plot and characterisation standpoint, but still.

Date: “Who told you this?” Hitomi: “Renju told me.” Date: “But you said he wasn’t there.” Hitomi: “He heard some of this from the Kumakuras. Renju had connections with them…” - Tuesday (kokkAI), Psync Room with Hitomi

Hitomi: “Again, neither Renju or I saw this. We were just waiting at my house for Manaka to return. But she never came back. We tried to call her cell, but it didn’t connect. But then…we saw movement on the GPS.” Date: “The GPS Renju gave to Manaka?” Hitomi: “Yes. At first, we thought she was on her way home. But we saw the GPS getting further and further away from the city… Renju and I got nervous and decided to follow it.” Date: “What about the baby?” Hitomi: “We couldn’t take a baby with us, so… Renju gave the baby to the mob doctor he trusted.” - Tuesday (kokkAI), Psync Room with Hitomi

The ol’ Kumakura special. (Moma does exactly the same thing for Iris in Iris End, gives her a tiny GPS tracker to conceal on her person in case she goes missing, which she also does)

Manaka Iwai

Date: “It was covered by a cloth.” Aiba: “What is unnatural about that?” Date: “Isn’t it strange? The culprit hid the body because they didn’t want it to be found. But then they cover it with a cloth? That implies they thought that someone would eventually find it.” Aiba: “I explained earlier. The body may not have been hidden by the culprit. And even if they were responsible… It is not uncommon that murderers feel a sudden urge of remorse or pity for their victim.” Date: “So the cloth was a sign of pity?” Aiba: “That is a possibility.” - Tuesday (kenzAI), Warehouse District

Mizuki: “Okay. I’ll tell you about ‘Alice.’ It was about a month ago… I saw my daddy crying in the President’s office at Lemniscate… I was peeking through a crack in the door, so he didn’t see me. Daddy got up, then got into his car and drove away. I had never seen him like that before… I was curious, so I followed him in a taxi. That led me to the cold storage warehouse… He got out of his car and went inside. I followed right behind him, quietly. Daddy was standing next to the forklift in the back. I hid behind a shelf. I watched Daddy open the hood of the forklift. And then, after a little bit, he left. I wanted to know what he was looking at. I went over to the forklift and I looked under the hood myself. And then…” Date: “You saw Alice’s dead body.” Mizuki: “But at the time…I thought it was Iris…” - Tuesday (kenzAI), Ikume Shrine

Mizuki: “I asked around some, and… I found out that Daddy was managing the warehouse before I was born. After my grandpa died, Daddy took over. In exchange for managing the warehouse, he gave ownership of the company to someone else. I guess he didn’t want to let this place go. Or maybe he couldn’t let it go. That’s more accurate, I think… But I understand why. Inside that warehouse was…” Date: “Alice.” Mizuki: “On paper, Daddy has nothing to do with Okiura Fishery. Daddy was still managing the warehouse… And he was the only one allowed in there too. That was part of the agreement when he gave up the company. And the whole thing had to be a secret. He really stressed that point…” Date: “Hey, Mizuki. How long was he managing the warehouse?” Mizuki: … Date: … Mizuki: “For 18 years. That’s what the man told me.” Date: “18 years?! From that long ago?!” Mizuki: “Yes…” Date: … Mizuki: … - Tuesday (kenzAI), Ikume Shrine

Date: “Hitomi… I think I know what happened 18 years ago. You three were close. You, Manaka, and Renju. Manaka was murdered. You and Renju found the body in the mountains. And you brought it back to the cold storage warehouse.” Hitomi: … Date: “And my guess is So Sejima killed Manaka.” - Tuesday (kokkAI), Psync Room with Hitomi

Level Five: Bittersweet Reminiscence

Ota: “So, anyway, Mizuki reads my novels. I get notes and advice from her.” Date: “From a sixth grader?” Ota: “She’s surprisingly insightful. She has the talent to be an editor, for sure.”

Date: “Do you remember anything?” Mizuki: “Yeah, I do. I went to this amusement park when I was little… I was four. I remember it so clearly. This is where…I saw my mom and dad smile. I had so many happy memories here. The only happy memories I really have are from here. Memories of my family are…so bright and colorful. But now… This is where Mom…” - Saturday (meikAI), Bloom Park with Mizuki

Date: “You’ve always got something smart to say, huh? You’re just like Renju.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Driving with Mizuki

Aiba: “At the time, Renju was recently divorced, buried in work at Lemniscate, and mentally unstable.” Date: … Aiba: “It was a display of excellent judgment. It was a good thing that he managed to swallow his pride.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

Date: “Is this your first time at a place like this?” Mizuki: “Yeah. I mean, at Sunfish Pocket they served alcohol, but…I’ve never been to a bar like this.” Date: “I would hope not, you’re in elementary school.” Mizuki: “Well, Daddy invited me along sometimes, but I was too shy to go…” Date: “Good call.” Mizuki: “I was planning on going one day. When I was old enough to drink. I wanted to go to a bar with Daddy…” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

Date: “Was Renju a regular here?” Mama: “I haven’t seen him for a while. I thought I was going to shrivel up and die of boredom without you boys around.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

Mizuki: “I remember telling you before… That Bloom Park is an important park of my memories. Before it shut down, I came here a lot with Daddy and Mom. They fought a lot, but sometimes they got along. Whenever we were here, it was one of those ‘sometimes’ days. I remember it clearly. I was just a little girl, but it was so rare to see them laughing together… That’s why I remember it so well. I remember…riding the merry-go-round like this… Mom was standing right next to me… She was holding me so I wouldn’t fall.” Date: “Where was Renju when you were on the horse?” Mizuki: “He was on the other side of the fence, with an old camera. Every time we passed in front of him, Mom and I would wave our hands. Heh, we sound like a happy family, huh?” Date: “He must have gotten good pictures.” Mizuki: “No, actually. We tried developing them at the park, but they came out all blurry and out of focus. But Mom wasn’t mad or upset or anything. She just started laughing. That might have been the first and last time the three of us laughed out loud together…” - Tuesday (seisAI), Bloom Park

Level Six: Finding-Character-Through-What-Is-Out-of-Character

Date: “I wonder what Renju was doing last night… I did call him a few times. He didn’t answer.” Boss: “He didn’t?” Date: “No…” Boss: “The local police tried his phone too, but they got the same result. No one was able to get a hold of him until this morning. We explained the situation to him, had him verify Shoko’s corpse… And naturally, started asking him questions.” - Saturday (saikAI), Boss’s Office

This is currently Saito occupying Renju’s body, hence the strangely evasive behaviour. The real Renju, as in his consciousness, is already dead, but Date and Boss don’t know that, so believe they are discussing the Renju as they know him.

Date: “Renju is Mizuki’s legal guardian. Did you get permission from him?” Boss: “I couldn’t get in touch with him.” Date: “What? I thought he was being questioned by a local unit.” Boss: “His questioning ended around noon. He hasn’t been heard from since.” Date: “Why would he…?” Boss: “I don’t know.”- Saturday (saikAI), Psync Room with Mizuki

Date: “You look like you want to say something.” Mizuki: “I don’t wanna say anything. I don’t wanna talk to you. I don’t wanna talk to anyone who thinks my daddy is a killer.” Date: “Look, I don’t want to believe it either. I’ve known him for more than five years now. He’s like family to me.” Date: I’d never want to put cuffs on him. I would never want Mizuki to see that… Anyway, Renju just isn’t the kind of guy who would commit a crime like this… - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Date: “When was the last time you saw your dad?” Mizuki: “I think about a week ago. When I went to hang out at Lemniscate.” Date: “Did you notice anything different about him?” Mizuki: “Nothing really… He was the same as usual.” Date: “And he didn’t come to see you in the hospital, did he?” Mizuki: “No…” Date: “Not even for his own daughter…” Aiba: “That is very unusual.” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Mizuki: “Yeah… My dad’s never said anything like that to me, ever. That he was counting on me. I had to go.” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

This dialogue occurs on both sides of the flowchart; on the right side, the exchange happens on Sunday at the Date Residence, with Hitomi present.

Mama: “Stupid Ren… What was he thinking, leaving his little girl like this.”- Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

Iris: “I didn’t know that…” Mizuki: “Daddy’s not the type to give compliments…” - Monday (syuurAI), Sunfish Pocket

Mama: “You don’t remember? Your drunk ass spilled your beer on Ren’s watch. Ren was furious, yelling about how ‘this watch is more important than my life!’ Or whatever… He blew up on you. That was the only time I’ve ever seen Ren that mad. That’s why I remember it so well.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

Mizuki: “Okay. I’ll tell you about ‘Alice.’ It was about a month ago… I saw my daddy crying in the President’s office at Lemniscate… I was peeking through a crack in the door, so he didn’t see me. Daddy got up, then got into his car and drove away. I had never seen him like that before…” - Tuesday (kenzAI), Ikume Shrine

Level Seven A: Renju’s Experience of Death (Mind)

Aiba: “Multiple puncture wounds to the front of the torso. Cause of death: blood loss from these wounds. Body temperature and rigor mortis indicate the time of death was approximately six hours ago. That would place the crime occurring around 5:00pm.” - Friday (sigAI), Bloom Park

The true circumstances of Renju’s death occupying Shoko Nadami’s body, having swapped with Saito Sejima.

Date: Saito explained what he did on Friday. At 4:00am, Saito began his plan against Shoko. He called Renju to this abandoned factory and switched bodies with him. After taking Renju’s body, Saito killed Shoko, then brought the body to Bloom Park. But as he explained it to me, I somehow felt that I already knew. - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

Level Seven B: Renju’s Death Observed (Body)

Date: “My best friend was murdered, Boss. I don’t have it in me to sleep right now.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Boss’s Office

Date: Renju’s corpse was hung up by three wires. The wires were tied to three kegs. - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

Date: “The corpse was strung up near this counter.”

Aiba: “The autopsy report indicates that the contents of the victim’s intestines were excreted upon death. But no traces of that have been found in the area nor on the corpse itself. This evidence makes it highly likely that Renju was killed somewhere else.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

The "nor on the corpse itself" here is weird, either something blended in by translation, or else the implication seems to be that Saito undressed and redressed Renju before transporting and setting up his corpse; it’s simply impossible for that shit (literally) not to end up on his clothes.

Speaking of contents of intestines, we learn later that Saito has been disposing of loose eyeballs after body-swaps by swallowing them, meaning Renju’s body was nicked, effectively force-fed his estranged ex-wife’s eyeball, then killed, which is pretty fucking fucked.

Aiba: “The body was hanged from the ceiling, similar to how a fish would be. A thick hook was embedded in the upper jaw, and the wires connecting to the hook were strung up on one of the ceiling beams. There was also a hook on the other end of each wire. The three beer kegs were attached to these hooks.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

Conspicuous use of the conjugation "hanged" there, Aiba.

Also being strung up with rope and penetrated, evident albeit warped parallel to St Sebastian imagery.

Takes some considerable digging into subtext, but it seems implied by conversations with Date and Mama that Renju was dependent on alcohol to some degree, so the irony of his dead body being weighed down (or weighed up, as the case may be) by beer kegs is fucking fucked too, made more terrible by the knowledge that Date makes sure to emphasise repeatedly that Renju was drugged almost catatonic by Saito to make it possible/easier to strangle him to death.

Date: There are deep impressions left on his neck. Date: “Strangulation?” Aiba: “Correct.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

Aiba: “The autopsy report discovered the presence of benzodiazepine. It is a common sedative. The dosage found in the victim’s bloodstream was extremely high. It can be assumed that Renju’s cognitive functions were heavily impaired before his death.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

Date: He was barely conscious before he was killed. - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

Date: “A heavy concentration of sedatives were discovered in Renju’s body. Renju was practically in a coma before he died. He wouldn’t have struggled.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Interrogation Room with Iris

Radio: “In other news… At 6:10pm today, on the outer circle of the capital city highway in Minato District, Tokyo… A traffic collision occurred, involving five cars and at least one truck. As a result of the pile-up, one man was sent to the hospital unconscious, in critical condition. Six other individuals were treated for minor injuries. MPD has arrested the driver of the truck suspected to be the cause of the accident for negligence. The investigation is ongoing.” ­- Saturday (keitAI), Driving

The lone man in hospital in critical condition is Saito, in Renju’s body; this pile up was bad, involving “at least one” heavy vehicle and five cars, and the state of Renju’s body is really, really bad.

Date: “Anything else to report?” Boss: “About Renju…” Date: “Renju?” Boss: “Yesterday, I told you he vanished after he was questioned. Well, we found him.” Date: “Where?” Boss: “Central Hospital. He was brought there from a traffic accident. He’s unconscious and it’s not looking good.” Date: “Could it be…?” Aiba: “Capital Highway?” Boss: “Oh, you heard about it?” Aiba: “We heard the report on the radio last night.” Date: “I can’t believe it was about Renju…” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Boss’s Office

Ironically, they still haven’t found him, since guy’s about to disappear again and they still don’t have an inkling that it ain’t Renju in there, lol another victory for Renju the Vanisher.

Date: “Anything else you can tell me about Renju?” Mermaid: “Anything else? Well, he did seem really sick. He was pale and sweating a lot…” Date: “Must have been because of the accident.” Aiba: “Perhaps.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sunfish Pocket

Date: “You’re… Saito Sejima…” Saito: “Oh, so you figured it out.” Date: “Renju’s body on the ground… Without his left eye…” Saito: … Date: “You were inside Renju, weren’t you? Until just now? You used the machine to exchange minds, then got rid of his body.” Saito: “Close, but you’re a little off. I didn’t ‘get rid’ of the body. He died of natural causes.” - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

Date: Renju… I don’t believe it… - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

Saito: “I decided to pick her up in Renju’s car. I thought that if she saw me in person, she would trust me. However…”

Date: “You got in a car accident around 6:10pm and lost consciousness.”

Saito: “So unlucky… My plans were ruined.” - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

Saito: “After the accident, my body was taken to Central Hospital. I regained consciousness just past 12:00am Sunday. The surgery was a success, but Renju’s organs were in a horrible state. But I had somewhere to be.” - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

Saito: “I was planning to put her to sleep in the car, but I didn’t have my drugs on me. The sleeping pills were inside Renju’s crushed car. I was pushing my luck. My plan and my body were both in shambles. I’m sure the painkillers were affecting me as well. My mind was scrambled, and I couldn’t think straight.” - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

The absolute ringer Renju’s body is put through in Reso route can really be read two ways; either the literal scrambling of his insides and slowly putrefying like a shambling corpse and externally dressed in his own filth is a further indignity layered atop the cruelty of having his body stolen and used to systemically destroy the lives of those in proximity to him while the tiny percentage of his consciousness still lingering in his brain smothered by Saito is made to watch helplessly (being forced to spectate as a serial killer methodically carries out a scheme to deceive and gruesomely murder who committed the crime of being a convenient target – sounds very familiar); the alternative marginally less shitty reading is that, in death, though his mind is gone, Renju’s physical body enacts his revenge by scuppering Saito’s intricately laid plans and eventually allowing him to be caught (not saying Renju literally caused his car to crash somehow, it’s more like a small poetic justice; Saito shoves Renju out of his own body and steals his autonomy away from him, so Renju’s formerly pristine body starts turning to mush and falling apart at the seams, yeeting Saito out of there too – Saito says himself, he had no hand or say in Renju’s body’s death, it died on its own); it may have taken the rest of his life away but gotdamn did Renju get his promised revenge, talk about seeing the right opportunity and taking it. The irony of Saito being impaired by painkillers given to Renju's body, when Saito used sedatives to force Renju's body into compliance on the left side of the flowchart is also sweet.

Saito: “I couldn’t chase after her. I needed to sleep… I managed to make it back here and collapsed on the ground. Next thing I knew, it was the next day. I woke up around noon on Monday. Renju’s body was about to expire.” - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

Saito: “Not to sound like a broken record, but Renju’s body was almost done. It was completely useless at this point. So I put Rohan to sleep and began the Psync. As a result… This happened.” Date: “Renju…” Saito: “It’s just like I told you. He died of natural causes.” - Wednesday (sousAI), Abandoned Chemical Plant

Level Eight: Renju As Ghost/Encryption/Abstraction (Nobody Can Decide Where or Who Renju Is and Looks Constantly To The Next Person Hoping They Might Know Him Better Until Everyone Is Contradicting Each Other and Themselves and Nobody Knows Anything Anymore)

Boss: “No one was able to get a hold of him until this morning. We explained the situation to him, had him verify Shoko’s corpse… And naturally, started asking him questions.” - Saturday (saikAI), Boss’s Office

Renju has an uncanny ability to keep slipping through literally everyone’s fingers constantly, the player will pick up on pretty quickly.

Mizuki: “So let me get this straight… You think that Daddy drove his car on the tracks through the tunnel… Stopped at the closed-down station, and carried Mom’s body to the park?”

Carrying his wife through an inverted doorway, almost like a wedding.

Date: “I can’t prove it was Renju. There’s a chance someone else was driving the car.” Mizuki: “Yeah… Yeah!” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Mizuki: “Daddy didn’t do it!” Aiba: “I am not so certain.” Date: “Either way, I have to talk to Renju. And you can help me find him.” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Date: “Hey, Mizuki. Tell me again. That person you saw at the merry-go-round.” Mizuki: “No, it wasn’t Daddy! I know it wasn’t!” Date: “You’re sure?” Mizuki: “Well, I… I dunno…” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Date: “When was the last time you spoke with your dad?” Mizuki: “I don’t remember, it was a while ago… What about you?” Date: “What about me?” Mizuki: “You try calling him.” Date: “I did. I called earlier, and I tried a few times last night.” Mizuki: “And he didn’t pick up?” Date: “No…” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Mizuki: “The killer did it, not Daddy…” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Boss: “He didn’t give us any new information. He didn’t have much to say at all, really.” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Boss: “Shoko’s time of death was estimated to be about 5:00pm yesterday. Renju claims that he was at home alone at the time. But that means no one can back up his story.” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Date: “Any idea where Renju is?” Boss: “No, I told you, he vanished.” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Date: “Where the hell did Renju go…?” Mizuki: “Uh, sun poke?” Date: “What?” Mizuki: “Um, sun poke or something…” Date: “Oh, Sunfish Pocket! Renju was telling me about that place… It’s a maid cafe that he runs.” - Saturday (meikAI), Driving with Mizuki

Mizuki: “I’m Renju’s daughter. Maybe I’ll notice something you don’t. Something only his daughter would know.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Driving with Mizuki

Policeman: “And this is…?” Date: “Have you looked through the case file yet?” Mizuki: … Policeman: “Oh… Oh, I am so sorry… She’s the victim’s…” - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

Date: Mizuki is looking at the spot where we found Renju. Date: “Hey. Are you doing okay?” Mizuki: “Oh, sorry. Just staring.” Date: “If you’re having a hard time, you can tell me…” Mizuki: “I’m fine. It’s not like the body is lying here.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

Date: “Do you remember what you saw last night?” Mizuki: “How could I forget? I’ll never be able to get that image out of my head. Not until the day I die.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

Date: “Any places you can think of that I don’t know about?” Mizuki: “Well, there is one place… Have you heard of ‘Golden Yokocho’? In the entertainment district? Daddy used to go to a place called ‘Marble’ a lot. Maybe they know something about him…” - Sunday (syokubAI), Sunfish Pocket

Mizuki: “Hey, Date. What did you and Daddy use to talk about when you were here?” Date: “Hm… I don’t remember a lot of it. I was usually drinking pretty hard.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

So: “The president of Lemniscate? We aren’t friends, but I did meet him a few times through work.” Date: “What work were you doing to meet up with the head of an entertainment company?” So: “It was just some party hosted by some company or other. It’s not unusual. Events with those uptight, stuffed shirts can be rather dull. So they have some young women from an entertainment office attend. Anyway, we only saw each other few times. I don’t even remember what we spoke about.”- Sunday (syokubAI), Kumakura Office

Date: “He must have gotten good pictures.” Mizuki: “No, actually. We tried developing them at the park, but they came out all blurry and out of focus.” - Tuesday (seisAI), Bloom Park

Date: “Have you come here before with friends?” Mizuki: “Other than last Friday? Nope, I haven’t. This place has been off limits for almost a decade. Even if it wasn’t, I don’t think I would want to come back here.” Date: “Why is that?” Mizuki: “How can I explain it…? I guess I just wanted to keep that memory beautiful. I didn’t want to ruin it or replace it with another. But in the end…it was replaced by the worst memory possible.” - Tuesday (seisAI), Bloom Park

Date: “There’s no one here…” Aiba: “Indeed, the bed is empty.” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Central Hospital

Date: “Where are we?” Nurse: “Mr. Okiura’s room. I’m certain of it…” Date: “Where is he?” Nurse: “He’s not here. As you can see.” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Central Hospital

Nurse: “He snuck out at night.” Date: “‘Snuck out’?” Nurse: “Mr. Okiura arrived with internal injuries. The surgery was successful, but he was in no condition to move. He would have opened up his wounds, and then he would be in real trouble…” Date: “Real trouble, huh?” Nurse: “Yes. I can’t believe it… Where could he have gone?” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Central Hospital

Receptionist: “Hellooo, this is Lemniscate Entertainment Offices! Lemme hear your message! Thank youuu!” Date: What kind of employee training do they have there…? Anyway, I gave them my name and told them about Renju. Date: “Do you have any idea where he might be?” Receptionist: “Sorry, no clue! I’m trying to get in touch with him too. So far, nothing! I’m getting worried… He must be a mess right now.” Date: … Aiba: … Receptionist: “Oh, wait… Maybe he’s at the maid cafe…” Date: “Maid cafe? Do you mean…Sunfish Pocket?” Receptionist: “Yeah! That’s the one! Like, out of nowhere, Renju was like, ‘I’m gonna rent out Sunfish Pocket.’ I guess he was gonna throw like a secret party or something? But with the accident and all… Still, he might be there.” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Central Hospital

Date: “Is Renju here?” Mermaid: “No, he never showed up.” Date: “When was the last time he came here?” Mermaid: “Hm, lemme think… He’s just the owner, not the manager, so… He comes sometimes, but not all that often.” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Sunfish Pocket

Date: “Where is Renju?” Mizuki: “I don’t know where he is…” Date: “Can you think of anywhere he might go?” Mizuki: “No, not really… I don’t know where Daddy goes…” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Date Residence

Date: “Where could Renju be?” Aiba: “I also wonder where he could have gone.” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Driving with Aiba

Aiba: “Mizuki went to Bloom Park three nights ago. She was prompted by a NILE message from Renju. ‘Mizuki, Daddy got caught up in something serious. Please come to Bloom Park’s merry-go-round right away.’ There are three possibilities. One: Renju killed Shoko, or was an accessory to the murder. Two: Renju was threatened or blackmailed into luring Mizuki to the scene. Three: the culprit used Renju’s phone to send the NILE message. In any case, the motive is still unknown. We need to talk to Renju.”

Date: “Renju…where did you go?” - Monday (syuurAI), Driving with Aiba

Mama: “You need more info on Ren? I’m sorry to waste your time, but I don’t have anything for you.” - Monday (syuurAI), Marble

Date: There’s no point hiding it. I told her about Renju’s disappearance. Hitomi: “Right from the hospital…? I’m sorry… I have no idea.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sagan Residence

Date: “Where’s Renju?” Iris: “What about him?” Date: I don’t need to hide it. I told her about Renju’s disappearance. Iris: “A traffic accident? I’m worried…” Date: “Any idea where he could have gone?” Iris: “I’m sorry, no.” - Monday (syuurAI), Lemniscate

Aiba: “Date, I know you are already aware of this, but there are security cameras all over this compound. I checked all of them. #89 fled in a car that was waiting for him.” Date: “So he had an accomplice.” Aiba: “Yes.” Date: “Did you see who was driving?” Aiba: “I did.” Date: “Who was it?” Aiba: “You and I know him well.” Date: “Renju?!” Date: I told Boss and Pewter about what Aiba revealed to me. Boss: “Renju?!” Pewter: “Wh-Why…?” Date: … Aiba: “Date, Moma is calling.” Date: “Moma? From the Kumakuras?” Aiba: “I’ll connect him.” Moma: “Hey, Date. I just got the word. Renju’s been seen.” - Monday (syuurAI), Boss’s Office

Iris: “What happened to Mr. Okiura? I heard he escaped the hospital.” Moma: “So did I. But I don’t know anything more than that.” Iris: “Please tell me?” - Monday (syuurAI), Kumakura Office

Iris: “But why would Mr. Okiura do that?” Date: “I don’t know. He could be a hostage or an accomplice.” Moma: “Hm…” Date: “Either way, I need to find him.” - Monday (syuurAI), Kumakura Office

Ota: “You’re still looking for him? Well, like I told you before, I don’t know.” - Monday (syuurAI), Matsushita Diner

Date: “I’ve heard that Renju was sighted here.” Mermaid: “When do you mean?” Date: “When? I got the info a few minutes ago, but I don’t know when he was seen…” Mermaid: “Oh.” Date: “Ringing any bells?” Mermaid: “Well, he hasn’t come by today. But yesterday…” Date: “Yesterday?! But I was here yesterday.” Mermaid: “It was after that. After you and Ota left.” Date: “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” Mermaid: “You didn’t ask… And I didn’t have any way to contact you.” Date: “Damn it.” Aiba: “We just missed him.” Date: “What was he doing here?” Mermaid: “He was looking for Iris. He was asking everyone where she was.” Iris: “Looking for me?” Mermaid: “Yeah.” Date: “Did he give a reason?” Mermaid: “No, not in particular.” Date: “Iris, can you think of why he would be looking for you” Iris: “No, not at all.” Date: “Mizuki?” Mizuki: “I don’t know either.” Date: “Anything else you can tell me about Renju?” Mermaid: “Anything else? Well, he did seem really sick. He was pale and sweating a lot…” Date: “Must have been because of the accident.” Aiba: “Perhaps.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sunfish Pocket

Mizuki: “The police asked me a bunch of questions… But I don’t know where he is.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sunfish Pocket

Date: “About the Okiura Fishery warehouse…” Mizuki: “Why are you asking me about that?” Date: “I was just curious.” Mizuki: “That company was made by my grandpa. But Daddy has nothing to do with it. I don’t know anything about the warehouse.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sunfish Pocket

Iris: “Mr. Okiura isn’t here. I mean, of course he isn’t. It’s not like we came here right away.” Date: “He’s already taken off.” Iris: “Too bad.” Aiba: “It looks like there are no further clues here. It appears we’ve wasted our time.” - Monday (syuurAI), Sunfish Pocket

Iris: “When you found my corpse in the parallel world, you found it in an Okiura warehouse. Whoever killed me in that world was probably affiliated with Naix. That makes me think the Okiuras and Naix are connected. Maybe Naix ordered Mr. Okiura to help #89 escape. And #89 is an assassin… If he wanted to get rid of me, Mr. Okiura must have…” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Kumakura Office

Iris: “There’s nothing here…” Date: “Guess not.” Date: Why did Renju come here Friday night? Was it to place Shoko’s body here…? Or did he have another reason? Renju is my friend. I want to believe him, but I don’t [know] how long I can keep defending him. Where is he? What is he doing? I’ve thought it over a thousand times. My head is heavy with it. - Tuesday (dakkAI), Bloom Park

Date: “What happened to Renju?” Iris: “I dunno. I haven’t seen him or spoken to him since.” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Ikume Shrine

Date: “What did you do after you ran away?” Iris: “Well, I didn’t go home. I thought he might come back. I just walked around and went into a bunch of stores. Restaurants, coffee shops, net cafes… I was afraid that he would try to call me, so I turned off my phone too.” - Tuesday (dakkAI), Ikume Shrine

Aiba: “Date, the person in Iris’s letter. The one she trusts most. Who do you think that is? Date: “Renju?” Aiba: “I think so too. Remember what Iris said?” Iris: “I look up to him. He’s done so much for me. I know I can rely on him more than anyone else.” Aiba: “According to the mermaid at Sunfish Pocket…” Mermaid: “He was looking for Iris.” Aiba: “I think Renju called Iris.” Date: “And Iris went looking for him.” Aiba: “Exactly.” Date: “Then what can I do? We’ve been looking for Renju. Everyone at HQ is looking for him too. Not to mention, he’s on the run with #89. And even with all of that, we haven’t found him. We don’t even have any leads.” Aiba: “If we only had some clues to work with…” Date: “Then we wouldn’t be in this mess…” Aiba: “Are you giving up?! Iris might be with #89 at this very moment! We need to find her immediately!” Date: … Aiba: “Now think, Date! Where would Renju go?!” - Tuesday (kenzAI), Driving with Aiba

Date: “Where is Renju Okiura?! You know where he is, don’t you? You were at an Okiura Fishery warehouse for a reason! There’s definitely a connection between you two. And that’s not all. #89 called your secretary! The same #89 that Renju escaped with! Now tell me! Where is Renju?!” - Tuesday (kenzAI), Sejima Residence

Date: “I think Iris is with Renju.” Mizuki: “With Daddy?” Date: “Yeah. Her note mentioned her ‘most trusted’ person. That’s probably Renju.” Mizuki: “Yeah… I remember that mermaid girl saying something like that.” Mermaid: “He was looking for Iris.” Mizuki: “Does that mean that Daddy is the one who called for Iris?” Date: “It could be. So I need to know where he is.” Mizuki: “But… I haven’t been able to get a hold of him.” - Tuesday (kenzAI), Ikume Shrine

Loud incorrect buzzer sound.

Mizuki: “I actually met with one of the higher-ups at Daddy’s company last night. Before I went to Matsushita Diner.” Date: “Why?” Mizuki: “Because you asked about the cold storage. I was curious. I asked around some, and… I found out that Daddy was managing the warehouse before I was born. After my grandpa died, Daddy took over. In exchange for managing the warehouse, he gave ownership of the company to someone else. I guess he didn’t want to let this place go. Or maybe he couldn’t let it go. That’s more accurate, I think… But I understand why. Inside that warehouse was…” Date: “Alice.” Mizuki: “On paper, Daddy has nothing to do with Okiura Fishery. Daddy was still managing the warehouse… And he was the only one allowed in there too. That was part of the agreement when he gave up the company. And the whole thing had to be a secret. He really stressed that point…” Date: “Hey, Mizuki. How long was he managing the warehouse?” Mizuki: … Date: … Mizuki: “For 18 years. That’s what the man told me.” Date: “18 years?! From that long ago?!” Mizuki: “Yes…” Date: … Mizuki: … - Tuesday (kenzAI), Ikume Shrine

Aiba: “Renju Okiura…” Date: Talk to him. Aiba: “Renju, what are you doing in a place like this?” Date: “He won’t answer.” Aiba: “Not in a place like this, at least.” - PSYNCIN’ IN THE MOUNTaiN

Renju: “What do you think they’d do if they found out? They would take her and kill her too. And then…they’d come for us. They’d make it look like we disappeared. All of us would be…gone.” - (18 years ago) Mountains

Hitomi: “I don’t know who it was. They were using a voice modulator.” Date: “What did they say?” Hitomi: “‘I have your daughter. Don’t call the police or she dies.’ That’s why I didn’t ell you earlier…” Date: “Renju!” Aiba: “We don’t know that for certain. It could be #89.” Date: “Either way!” - Tuesday (kokkAI), Psync Room with Hitomi

Mama: “I can’t say much. The public thinks our Ren killed Shoko. And then #89 busted outta jail and killed Ren. And then he goes and commits suicide by blowing up his own head. That’s what all the news reports have been saying. I know there’s more to it than that, but…” - Three months later (kassAI), Marble

Man really died on Friday night stuck in Shoko’s body on the carousel horse, his body appears to have continued living but in reality everything on record and in the public consciousness is a lie; even Mama who knows better doesn’t actually know the truth, only that the reality being sold is false. Well, suppose it’s fitting that this is revealed with the Sebastian painting looming in the background; a sacrificial lamb in every way in every ending; Saito kills him and hijacks his body and identity, and then the authorities responsible for finding justice for his murder instead use him and his death to conceal the truth of their own colossal string of fuck ups. Old news: everyone in Reso sucks except Iris because it is pretty much her ending chapter, the end, take away the dancing and it’s an absolute sleeper tragedy (though has now left some outstanding conflicts that could be developed in a sequel…if I had one…)

Level Nine: Somnium Scraps, Symbols, YMMV (everything is up to interpretation, but this is ultra up to interpretation)

Mayumi: “That boy… He’s been hanging out at this…office building lately.” Date: “What kind of office?” Mayumi: “Hm, uh, what was it…? It’s a place where…irresponsible young men hang out. Nonconformists and the like.” - Saturday (saikAI), Matsushita Diner

We meet Renju’s building several times over before setting eyes on the man himself even in a flashback, so one starts to build a sense of his character instead through the prism of Lemniscate.

Aiba: “A black SUV.” - Saturday (meikAI), Bloom Park with Mizuki

SUV=sport utility vehicle, big, four-wheel drive, think Range Rover, stereotypical elite-person-in-big-so-incognito-it’s-not-incognito-black-car. Renju is the registered owner.

Date: “Hey, about Renju… Do you have anything to tell me? Anything at all that might help?” Mizuki: “Well, it’s not about Daddy, but… I heard from Daddy that Mom had a secret.” Date: “Shoko had a secret?” Mizuki: “Did you know that Mom was the representative of an investment company?” Date: “Yeah, I did.” Mizuki: “That whole company was a big scam.” Date: “A scam?” Mizuki: “Well, I dunno the details… They start up a company to get people to invest in it, then shut it down on purpose and keep the money. She got really rich like that…” - Sunday (syokubAI), Driving with Mizuki

Much like her marriage *COUGH* who can say farce nuclear family built on a foundation of compulsory heterosexuality?

Mizuki: “Is this it?” Date: “Yeah.” Mizuki: “You know about this place?” Date: “Yeah. This is where I met Renju for the first time.” Mizuki: “Interesting… Didn’t think this was your kind of spot.” Date: “This place is special. You can find all sorts of shady characters here. It’s the best place for gathering information about a case. So that’s why.” Aiba: “That is only a partial truth.” Date: “Shut up.” Mizuki: “Huh…?” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

Aiba: “I know what you are.”

Date: A picture on the wall. It’s a little…odd. - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

Aiba: “This is a painting of Saint Sebastian. Saint Sebastian was a faithful Christian who lived under Roman emperor Diocletian. On January 20th, 288 A.D., he was martyred. This painting depicts his execution.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

This dialogue occurs on Sunday on both sides of the flowchart; on the right side, the exchange occurs with Mizuki present.

Mama: “People who come in here tend to have very specific interests. I help accommodate.” Mizuki: “Oh. Okay…” Date: “Mama’s like, uh, an informant.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Marble

After throwing the knife into the “bird” TV, the room changes and the next puzzle calls for shooting a pistol at the “cat” TV, but the gun is empty and the only other new object is an oil barrel like that found at Sunfish Pocket, with the bullet needed seemingly inside. – PSYNCIN’ IN THE VaiN, “Smack TV” route

Where Renju was stuffed into the oil barrel to transport his body to Sunfish Pocket to be displayed, and Saito neglected to notice Renju’s wristwatch, a gift from Pewter he apparently never took off, had come off his wrist and was left behind in the barrel for Date to discover, allowing him to piece together how Saito, in Iris’s smaller body, could have possibly manufactured the crime scene. Now in Somnium, when Aiba peers into the cracked open barrel, the void inside—where Renju’s corpse and his stray wristwatch, Date’s "silver bullet" was—is obscured by a pixelated censor bar, concealing Renju, masking the crime, hiding Saito’s mistake. Aiba feels a shock and the television feed is scrambled, returning to the barrel tipped over, spilling a jet black puddle onto the floor.

Date: “Any fingerprints?” Aiba: “Nothing. No fingerprints have been found at the scene at all. This entire warehouse is clean.” - Monday (youdAI), Cold Storage Warehouse

Mayumi: “Isn’t Renju Okiura the president of that awful company where the witch works? He’s just as responsible. Using her to steal time and money from vulnerable kids… And I’m sure he was…debaucherous and degenerate. That man…is the root of all evil. That’s why I killed him.” - Tuesday (zugAI), Interrogation Room with Mayumi

Date: “What’s with that spear?” Ota: “It’s not a ‘spear.’ It belongs to Poseidon, god of the sea? You know, a trident?” Date: “Why do you have that?” Mermaid: “We treat our customers like lords of the sea. We give them these tridents. It’s like a little ranking system we do!” Ota: “The color changes depending on your rank. There’s bronze, silver, gold, platinum, and at the very top, orichalcum!” Date: “So it basically measures how much money you’ve spent on these girls.” Mermaid: “Well that doesn’t sound very nice. It’s more like…a way to exploit their vanity. To separate our customers from their money as much as possible.” Date: “That sounds even worse.” - Sunday (gyoukAI), Sunfish Pocket

Pewter: “The subject of the Psync remembers certain persons or objects that appear in Somnium. But they might not have a clear form. Our dreams are sometimes vague or unclear, after all. Even the subject of the dream themselves. I told you earlier that the Psyncer experiences the dream from the perspective of an observer. That is why the person creating the dream can appear within it. But perhaps they do not have an objective view of themselves. Like a mirror or picture. Perhaps he’s never watched himself on television. Rare for a politician. But not unheard of. He lacks that objective picture of himself. He remains stoic and unattached despite his position of power. I find that quite powerful. To be able to put your ego aside and see yourself as God sees you…is an ability many charismatic people share.” - Sunday (kyuusAI), Psync Room with So

Okay this one is a bare reach, but the way the game’s conception of dreams intersects interestingly with how it builds the character of Renju; his presence is somewhat dream-like by the standard that Pewter describes, vague and amorphous, but in some specific ways the opposite; we do have an ‘objective’ image of Renju, the one that Aiba has saved in her memory that she is able to ‘replay’ to Date, since he had forgotten; perhaps the difference is between the inhuman omniscient, objective memory of Wadjet, versus the inevitable fallibility of humans and their inability to perceive others objectively; or perhaps it is the difference between a dream and a haunting.

Date: There’s an abstract painting hung up. Date: “What is that supposed to be?” Aiba: “I do not know.” Date: There’s an abstract, incomprehensible painting hung up. - Saturday (saikAI), Lemniscate

Date: There’s an abstract painting displayed on the wall. Mizuki: “This painting is called ‘Hawaiian Dishes and Dark Demons.’” Date: “Which part is supposed to be a dish and which part is a supposed to be a demon…?” - Sunday (syokubAI), Lemniscate

Sums up the conundrum of Renju’s character as it is reconstructed piecemeal through snippets of dialogue and environmental cues, told secondhand by those who have fragmentary, oftentimes incompatible or outright contradictory memories, culminating in, rather than a single cohesive whole, a cryptic, unstable amalgamate of unreliable memories, half-conversations, contextless (often misattributed) behaviour, and cryptic symbology, which one can either conclude is a poignant impression of an endlessly ambiguous, multi-faceted man who lived a complex, tragically short life, frayed at every edge by layers of trauma, or an unreliable, incomprehensible, almost abstract ghostly after image of someone who was once present but has now been distorted into near-erasure by the fact that, unintentionally, no one can agree on who he actually was and how they remember him; like the painting itself, called by a slighty different name by everyone that knows it in a poorly managed game of telephone, the chaotic, fragmented, oxymoronic narrative we are slowly fed may, depending on the beholder, be rendered expansive and enlightening in its endless twists, or thought-teminating and meaningless in its lack of a cohesive message.

Date: An abstract painting is on display. Ota: “That one is called, ‘Lying, Wishing, Marking Demons’.” - Sunday (syokubAI), Lemniscate (again)

Taxi Driver: “Oh, have you taken note of the painting? It is titled, ‘Lions Fishing, Carpe Diem.’” - Tuesday (zugAI), Lemniscate

Receptionist: “Oh, I asked someone about that earlier. It’s like, ‘Lionfish in Shag Carpet’ or something?” - Tuesday (seisAI), Lemniscate

Date: There’s an abstract painting hung up. Receptionist: “Like it? It’s called ‘Fisherman Shagging a Common Dandy.’” - Monday (syuurAI), Lemniscate

Receptionist recommends ‘to see yourself how god sees you’ by luxraydyne lmao excuse me

Date: There’s an abstract painting hung up. Looking carefully, I see some letters at the bottom. “Fisherman with Cormorant and Dandelion”… Date: … Date: “Which part is the dandelion and which part is the cormorant?!” - Three months later (kassAI), Lemniscate