#anything that would be hard to reverse
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trying to play it REALLY COOL about needing to move out in a month and having nowhere to go
#i have one ideal lead but no way to get an answer#it feels less likely but not impossible#i have one backup but it’s less ideal and i don’t have much info#they might not end up wanting a housemate and we’d need to make sure the dogs get along#and theoretically an attic available but it would kinda be as a favor to me#which is like. cool and also hard#and i’m like. ok so when should i cancel my internet and utilities and i will probably need to rent a storage unit but i don’t want to do#anything that would be hard to reverse#i think once september comes i’m going to pack everything up so i can move quickly
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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A sick Spathodea is awful; not only because of the fact she's trying to defy bed orders, but because she sneezes out literal fire, too
You have Yenisei who is calmly going through the medical procedures, and then you have Jiu who thinks Spathodea will be fine under blankets and pillows (which, while does improve her mood, still makes her fever worse)
Stubbornness x Order x (Mild) Chaos 😭
Yenisei: Jiu Niangzi, I need you to take care of Spathodea while I look for medicine. Don't make a mess, okay?
Jiu: You can count on me!
Cuts to Vila and Lorelei having to put off a fire in their room.
Sick Spathodea is a bad mix with Jiu Niangzi because she'll offer wine and forget that the one she offered has alcohol and watch something explode.
And she doesn't even want to be taken care of! Spathodea will slip off of their hold to practice then be down on the floor with a fever, sweating like a waterfall. Jiu has to carry her while Yenisei fixes the mess that will happen again if they get distracted.
Yenisei: Please, take your medicine, they were recommended by Ms Tooth Fairy and will cure your cold soon.
Spathodea: But I don't wanna! I'm fineeee, I'll heal in a day or two, it can't be that bad-
Jiu: If you don't take it you will not receive any more kisses!
Spathodea: So... Recommended by Tooth Fairy, huh?
Jiu Niangzi is a good distraction and motivator when she's not making a mess with wine, Yenisei keeps her around because she always manages to calm down Spathodea or trick her into taking medicine. WITHOUT adding it to wine, I must add.
Jiu wants to hug Spathodea so bad but if Yenisei had to take care of two sick chaotic girls she would indulge in a bottle of wine and call a doctor, so she's always keeping either of them away from the sick one.
Spathodea: I'm sweatinnnngggg, do I need so many blankets?
Yenisei: Well, no, you choose to put it over yourself.
Spathodea: ...
Spathodea: Jiuuu, can you hug me?
Jiu: Ah of- (looks at Yenisei) No, sorry, I can't, I'll get sick.
#reverse 1999#Yenisei is having a hard time controlling both but she loves them and she would do anything for them#Jiu Niangzi offered wine to Spathodea to help her out in any way#and Spathodea sneezed at the smell right above the cup#and there was fire#defining sanity
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Romy sweetheart how are you?! Can I ask about the hybrid aus? If you have fav characters for that kind of au or certain types of hybrid you like more often than others? They’re so fun to think abt!
Hi Mari!! Im good, n I hope you're having a good day too 💖
I feel like the characters I gravitate towards mostly have the personality of cats, hence cat hybrids are probably my fav lol! (Even tho canine hybrids are sweet too <3)
I have a handful I feel work really well for hybrid au (sakura, kazutora, giyuu, etc for kitty cats; shion, shidou, Kakashi etc for canines) but tbh kitty cat sakura always has a special place in my heart <3
I just want to dote on him and scratch his cute kitty ears!! I also think he would have the cutest scratchiest little purr you could imagine 🥺 (bonus points bc most of furin are enthusiastic dog hybrids imo so the contrast would be hilarious)
#other more unique hybrids are also cool but like i said so many of my faves are kitty coded its hard to imagine them as anything else lol#also when i think of a reverse hybrid au (where the character has a hybrid reader) i mostly imagine the ppl i think would be very doting#and would benefit to having something cute and sweet to snuggle with at the end of the day!#tbh im not even really a hiragi girlie (gn) but i could see him being suprisingly sweet to his hybrid darling#ty for letting me ramble a bit!!#cw hybrids#romy's mailbox
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Btw, re: my opinion that computers are not gonna be able to translate sign languages in our lifetime, it's not that sign languages are necessarily More complicated than spoken/written languages (I truly don't know how you'd measure that but I'd assume they're equally complicated). But video is, in terms of sheer data, much bigger and presumably harder to process than audio. I cannot imagine this happening without *astounding* computational resources which would take far more energy, water, and money than a human interpreter (and, more importantly, wouldn't work as well, at least for the foreseeable future). I assume the computation would happen off site in most cases if it did work, meaning the Internet connection is gonna need to be phenomenal (there is already widespread dissatisfaction with VRS human interpreters used in medical settings because half the time the connection drops). Speech to text, with all the issues it still has, seems like a breeze in comparison to 'understanding' a video.
I also cannot wrap my mind around how a machine would handle depictions. Like, with some practice behind me, my human mind is now able to understand (some) depictions I've never seen before (thank goodness, because there will ALWAYS be new depictions I haven't seen before, bc Deaf people are resourceful and creative), but I don't see how a machine would. That's pure sci fi to me. I also wouldn't expect a machine to do a good job translating stuff it's never heard before in a spoken language (e.g. wordplay, or the way you can sometimes tell the meaning of a new slang word from context, or an uncommon name even), but the thing is I think depiction is a much bigger part of daily life than wordplay is?
#Just wanted to clarify I wasn't like being weird and elevating signed languages above spoken#or i mean. if i still am let me know. it's true that ASL seems more complicated to me than English#but i try to recognize and work around that bias#like of course my native language doesn't seem complicated *to me*. i get that#anyway. I also don't know anything about the tech involved so by all means take me with a grain of salt#But this truly feels like common sense to me#If you time traveled me to the year 2080 and I saw a machine accurately translating ASL into English#My first thought would be 'which ocean is being drained for this right now'#And then 'wtf is the sheer size of this program + the database it's working off of'#I think it's cool to study this stuff. Don't get me wrong. But I don't think we should kid ourselves#It's not gonna be practical anytime soon#All that's without even considering the reverse of translating a spoken language back into a signed language#i think because human interpreters aren't perfect (because the job is hard!!) there could certainly be a temptation#to think that machines could be better than humans one day#but man. do you know what would be a better use of resources for the time being?#supporting hearing and especially Deaf interpreters in their studies and jobs#turns out a great way to improve a human's performance is to give them a teammate#we don't have to jump straight to replacing them with a machine#for anyone who doesn't know: if a particular job requires deep understanding of Deaf culture & deafness & the Deaf community#a hearing interpreter can team up with a Deaf interpreter for much better results#like the Deaf interpreter can interpret the hearing interpreter's signing into signing the Deaf client can understand better#and vice versa#anyway. it makes sense people are excited about machines. but can we stop going around saying 'hey AI is gonna take your job'#for jobs that we don't even understand 🙃#this is where y'all find out that this whole wall of text is directed at a guy who said that to my husband
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heres the problem with life: it’s soooo easy to recognize when you done fucked up even in the smallest way but it’s borderline impossible to know when you did something right or good
#i need someone who follows me around and tells me if I did Good or if I did Bad#and they can slap my wrist when I do Bad and pat my head when I do Good#i am coveting the life of a service dog in training#i just need to KNOW i hate not KNOWING#the lilo-style badness level chart would make things so much easier as well as a precise Punishment Meter#and then something for the reverse so i can get a little serotonin hit of Being Good#you know??? idk why it’s so hard for the world to just be a tidy binary for me and i never have to not know again#having to decide for myself……..i don’t trust that bitch. why would i listen to anything they say#shut up myth
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i don't feel like studying any of the subjects from The Plan rn but everything else is so boring that i also don't want to waste time on like watching content or something and i would rather switch subjects then give up on studying for the day and by old me standards ive already done enough but new me i still feel like i can do more but i don't know what ughhhhh this is torture
#okay so The Plan is#i mean not that anyone would care or understand but i like writing on tumblr like a diary#The Plan is to finish law in one month so i can give the online test and this js non negotiable because there's two#online tests and i have to do ATLEAST one before this year ends or it will be too much#and then to finish my backlog of direct tax till like 10th so i can give that test and be caught up with the rest of the class#and there's about 35 more 2 hr lectures to go (rip me)#oh also i haven't touched audit in ages and backlog is getting to the i can't breathe under this burden levels and classes resume on like#10th 11th something and i want to rejoin with them#the plan is to have all this done by november so in December#i can focus on catching the fuck up with fr and afm because like ive attented SOME classes like sparingly#and i know it but very upar upar se so i have to do it properly once or ill die#yeah that's it that's The Plan#it's doable i think i calculated hours days wise and everything#but like. theory subjects are fucking hard to do constantly because either they're boring asf (like law and audit)#or they're complicated and make me cry from frustration (like direct tax)#mann.#now that im actually studying#i feel so irrationally scared for how chill and like. blaise attitude i had towards inter exam#i had absolutely no idea everyone else was studying so deeply like tax syllabus first half is the exact same as inter#just a little advanced and sir keeps saying ye toh aapne inter mein padha hi tha and im like hain??? bhai itna sab tha????? i had no clue😭#like how tf did i pass my dad says not to tell anyone that i didn't really study for it cause ppl will think#aise hi farzi ca finalist ban gayi but like tunblr so wtvr#but yeah how tf??? could i pass???????#like i actually start to panic when i think about how less i had studied which makes no sense since it's not like they can#take away the result or reverse it or anything it doesn't matter now#but like just woah. like i can't even explain#i remember for tax all i watchef was marathon and usme bhi i got bored (THE DAY BEFORE EXAM!!!) so i skipped#the main topics that had crazy weightage and just did a number of tiny topics and studied only enough#to get passing#dt irl is VAST i can't believe these people learn such specific things that if iss date se iss date mein hai toh section 54 ka exemption
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anyway i got into the raven cycle (finished trb in one shot after uploading chapter 2 last night) so i kindaaaaa wanna try my hand at fantasy but my brains not big enough for that. we'll see.
#egg boils#also you know how some characters its just SO HARD to think of aus for them? like u cant imagine them being anything else but what they are#in canon? yeah thats me with hoshimina#it was the same with atsuhina too bc i CANT see them as anything but pro volleyball players#so aus are Hard! gonna be a bit stiff even#i do want to keep creating for them. my muses...#what would au hoshimina even be like??????????? hmmm#u know role reversal (prince and knight) would be so cute. ofc hoshina is the prince#or prince and commoner.. bc mina isnt from a family associated with kaiju killing....#well most people arent#narumi's ancestor very obviously is from recent chapters so hes exempted tbh#anywayyyyy#sigh#i like the prince hoshina idea i almost typed hoshi and that reminds me. i wanna draw hoshimina horanghae#let me cook in another post i think i have something
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wanna hear your mother tongue
[gn! reader x dan heng, jing yuan, blade, jiaoqiu, ratio, aventurine, sunday, & boothill (separate)]
Thinking about how some of the HSR men would react to you calling them a term of endearment in a different language/your native language when you two are NOT an established couple... (for me it would be something along the lines of “cariño” or “mi vida,” but of course you’re welcome to imagine any term from any language that suits you best!)
DAN HENG is confused the first few times you use the nickname. His brow will furrow and he may even adorably tilt his head a bit. He knows by your affectionate tone that it’s not anything bad, but of course, it doesn’t stop him from wanting to know exactly what it means.
He’ll turn to the data bank to look into the term’s origin and meaning, which causes him to fall down a rabbit hole of learning other terms of endearment from your language. You can expect him to shyly call you an endearment back the next time you use one on him, and he’s certainly blushing all the while.
JING YUAN’s smirk and the sparkle in his eyes the first time you let the term of endearment fall from your lips are indicators that you’ve made a terrible mistake. Whether or not you’re familiar with the dialect of the Alliance, he’ll fire a nickname from his own mother tongue right back at you, trying to gain the upper hand by flustering you instead.
And by Lan, does he succeed; you’ll keep the name-calling private and save it for when you two are alone, but he has no qualms about showering you with affection in front of a fleet of Cloud Knights, or even in front of the esteemed Fu Xuan. Good luck trying it on this one— you’ll find yourself in a full-scale flirting war, and this is a battle you can’t win.
BLADE isn’t the most emotive guy out there (when he’s not mara-struck), so it’s hard to gauge his reaction, at first. His blank expression makes it seem like the nicknames just roll off his back, so after a while, you stop using them under the presumption that they make him uncomfortable.
This has the opposite effect, of course, and he starts being a bit clingier than usual and following you around with what is most definitely not a pout on his face. It’s only when Kafka unsubtly points out that you’ve stopped calling him those “cute nicknames” that you put two and two together, and you immediately work to make things right. He may not be the best with words, but he’s happy to show his contentment with your endearments by holding you close to him.
JIAOQIU is flustered the first time, flushing red and ears twitching as he tries to compose himself after being caught off guard. Every time after that, though, he grins and graces you with those gorgeous golden eyes when he hears it. His tail may even start swishing from happiness, but you’ll never comment on it aloud, fearing that he’ll consciously stop it from happening.
His reaction is enough on its own to encourage you to keep calling him those sweet names, but you’re certainly not complaining about the delicious food that he starts bringing you in droves. (It doesn’t have anything to do with your little nicknames, don’t be silly.)
VERITAS most certainly knows what the term means, and that causes him to be even more flustered the first time you use it on him. He’s flushed from head to toe, and whatever tangent he was about to go on is completely lost to him, instead replaced by his silence as he hurriedly leaves wherever you’ve decided to pull this over on him.
He’s prepared the next time you do it, though. He doesn’t so much as bat an eye at the endearment, but he does continue the conversation in your language, speaking it flawlessly. Now it’s your turn to be flustered as you realize you enjoy hearing him speak in your mother tongue more than you care to admit. If there’s a slight smirk on his face from your reaction, neither of you acknowledge it.
AVENTURINE’s reaction is the reverse of how you would expect someone to react: flirt first, get flustered later. He doesn’t need any encouragement to be flirtatious with you, so when he hears the unfamiliar endearment for the first time, he assumes it’s just a normal part of this little game you two have been playing with each other. It’s easy for him to respond with endearments he’d heard older Avgins using growing up, and he even feels a bit giddy being able to use them on you.
Of course, he’s looking up meanings every time a new term pops up in your vocabulary, and his behavior takes a turn when he realizes you’ve started using more intimate endearments— ones typically reserved for spouses instead of those used for casual flirting. You think Aventurine looks good in any color, but you’re definitely partial to the light pink that graces his cheeks when he gets shy.
SUNDAY has been trained to remain carefully composed at all times, but nothing could have prepared him for this. He’s another one that I think would actually know what the endearment means, so he’s immediately blushing and hiding behind his wings— a futile effort, since they’re fluttering far too much to properly serve as a curtain for his flushed face. Once he gathers his bearings, he continues your conversation and acts like it never happened.
He reacts this way the first few times, but as you persist in your efforts, he decides to start playing along. He’s not one to flirt back verbally— he couldn’t possibly make his intentions too obvious— but he does take pleasure in the fact that he can have the same effect on you. If you try to comment on the way that he stands and sits much closer to you now or that his hands linger on your skin far longer than usual, an expression of innocence and casual deflection is all you’re met with. And don’t you dare try to take the endearments back from him now— he’ll only fluster you more until you start calling him those pretty names again.
BOOTHILL takes a few seconds to realize exactly what’s happening, but once he does, you’re in danger. His confusion at the word almost distracts him from the tone you used while saying it, but he catches on quickly and is grinning widely when he does, all sharp teeth and adoration. He returns the favor in kind, and from that point forward you can expect to exclusively be referred to as “sweetheart,” “sugar,” “beau,” and the like.
He can’t get enough of the way the words roll off your tongue, and the sound of it gets him more drunk than any whiskey ever could. Keep things up, and you might find yourself being pulled toward him by the waist as he puts his hat on your head, finally making his feelings for you crystal clear.
#incredibly self-indulgent post#i admit this started with me imagining calling sunday “cariño” and it spiraled from there#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr dan heng x reader#dan heng x reader#hsr jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x reader#hsr blade x reader#blade x reader#hsr jiaoqiu x reader#jiaoqiu x reader#hsr ratio x reader#ratio x reader#hsr aventurine x reader#aventurine x reader#hsr sunday x reader#sunday x reader#hsr boothill x reader#boothill x reader#hsr x you#honkai star rail x you#ceru.writes
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it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.
anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."
just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.
i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.
when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.
but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.
i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?
most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.
now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.
and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.
go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.
#something something toxic relationships notwithstanding#(re: the friends stuff)#most people love you. automatically. for being alive. like people are just MADE that way.#and the reason kms jokes don't always land is bc people fucking love you and are like - ahhh how do i help#let them help you!!!!!!
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forbidden fruit
how would four best friends, all helplessly in love with their other best friends big sister, react to getting her leaked sex tape sent them via a groupchat? there was only two options. one was to ignore it, and the other was to act on it.
pairing : enha!hyungline x fem!reader
warnings + genre : smut. oral (m+f). fivesome. anal. double penetration. pool sex. anal (f). spitting. choking. partial MxM. brothers best friend(s). jealousy. profanity. spit. cum eating/sharing. sunghoon has a breeding kink. unsafe sex. name calling/slight degradation. marking. reverse harem. a singular photo gets taken. begging. switch!jay. switch!jake. dom!heeseung. dom!sunghoon. switch!reader. whining. 18+.
wc : 7.9k
a/n : been gone for a while and about to disappear again… i’ve been too busy to do literally anything, i just got back from a month vacation and i’m leaving again for another week on friday. anyways not sure how i feel about this but i hope you can accept this as an apology for my absence 🙏 don’t be shy to leave feedback, i’d love to hear everyones thoughts <3
written perm taglist : @vousty @ilololoveyou @moon0fthenight
An alluring person you were, the sweet nectar of a forbidden fruit strong with your scent as you swayed passed them.
A forbidden fruit, that’s all you were- all they allowed you to be.
It was hard staying away from you, their shared desire to hold you, to bend you over any surface was nearly impossible to hold back.
The rush of heat racing across their bodies, the unforgiving hairs on their tensed necks raising with interest at every innocent graze of your skin. Your short skirts quickly became a problem amongst your four friends, your thick thighs peeking out beneath the tight material- fuck it was a sight out of every man’s wet dreams.
Your innocent eyes could do nothing to stop their reactions. Your long eyelashes fluttering lightly against your shined cheeks, pink with your favourite blush, pretty lips pulling up into the sweetest smile- you’re fucking ruining them, and they did nothing to stop it.
It was wrong to think of you in this way, to picture you in any compromising position. So wrong to imagine the bruises on your knees, caused by your foolishly clumsy tumbles, to be a result of your mouth against them, well… wrapped around them.
Hearing about your sexual conquers was one thing, but seeing it was a completely different story. At least for one of the options they could pretend it never happened, that it was nothing more than a misspeaking- a horrible mistake of a slip of a tongue.
But after all, there was nothing they could do. Fate was more than cruel when they made you nothing more than their best friends older sister.
Taunting wasn’t it? Dangling the one thing they all wanted in front of their noses, allowing them a preview of the woman they all dreamt about late at night with their warm palms wrapped around their leaking cocks, crying with the simulation of what they imagined your mouth, god what your fucking pussy would feel like wrapped tight around them.
Their thoughts would torture them with the idea of what you would sound like, and how you would look while they manipulated your body to best fit their size.
Their imagination was so cruel, so. fucking. cruel. It was too easy to imagine your mouth in place of their hands, to pretend that the nasty audio in their ears was in reality, your whimpers. They would ignore their phone's notification, their volume sensitivity going off as the wanton moans in their ears rose in volume. Their questions kept them up even longer, their palms tightening to an almost painful hold as their mind uncontrollably spiralled.
Would you beg for them to wrap their fingers around your neck while they pounded deep into you? Would you push them onto their backs, dropping your entire weight back down onto them? Would you leave pretty scratches up their backs, purposefully using your nails to carve your initials deep into their shoulders?
As said before, it was fucking torture.
So imagine their collective shock when they woke up to a mysterious group chat, one that only included two things. A message, and a short thirty-second video.
It wasn’t only the obvious gloating message that outraged them, but rather it was the very compromising, and also very nude, photo of you that was set as the thumbnail.
678-999-8212
*one video attached*
well, it looks like I won, doesn’t it?
heeseung
what the fuck?
jay
holy shit, is that yn?
heeseung
don’t look, just delete it
sunghoon
too late, I’m going to kill him
jake
you don’t even know who he is😭
jay
she doesn’t look like she’s enjoying it…
even a blind man could tell that she was faking it
heeseung
fucking prick, I could make her feel so much better
sunghoon
she’s mine, back tf off?
heeseung
in what fucking universe?
jake
I don’t remember there being a rule against sharing
jay
all four of us?
jake
I mean… why not?
And once again, that was something they all agreed on.
As usual, you came waltzing downstairs right at eight in the evening. Nothing appeared different about the way you came in, your hair in its usual updo with one of your many pretty sundresses tight around your bust.
To the older boys, it was crazy how unaffected you looked. A sour taste filled Sunghoon’s mouth, his eyes glaring holes into your exposed calves.
He watched the way you walked, the slight bounce in your step only noticeable due to his heavy stare, his distaste growing the longer he watched the way you moved.
No Hickeys? Clearly, the man you chose last night wasn’t the right option because if he was then he would’ve been like Sunghoon. He would’ve thrown your legs over his shoulders as he pressed his tongue deep into your greedy hole, leaving hickeys all across your inner thighs with matching fingerprints.
He wouldn’t stop even when you cried with sensitivity, your legs shaking around his body while your bottom lips quivered uncontrollably.
No limp? Once again, Sunghoon would’ve never let you leave his room until he physically had to hold your body straight. You’d feel him for the next week, feel his aching thrusts every time he ever thought about touching another man.
Sunghoon thought that it was obvious that a girl like you deserved to be ravished, to be loved on to the point where it had you questioning everything about yourself.
But it seemed that only a few shared his same feelings, his eyes catching the way his slightly older friends’ hands clenched against their thighs.
“Are you going anywhere today?” Jake felt his body stiffen at the way your dress swayed at your knees when you came to a stop, your arms crossing against your chest as you smiled at your younger brother.
Jake’s eyes followed the movement, his mouth opening and closing observing the way your chest pushed up at your innocent action. His thoughts raced at the way they’d feel pressed around his hard dick, the image itself causing his shorts to tighten.
It was when he met your eyes that he realized what he was doing, his eyes snapping to the side while he repositioned himself. He was fortunate enough to have been wrapped in a blanket, his growing size hidden away from your sight.
But even then all he felt was your eyes staring straight through him. He allowed himself to look back up once, guilt flooding his system when you passed him a cute smile. He was a fucking perv, and no one but himself was there to witness it all.
“No, I had a long day yesterday.” Rage. His eyes burned with an invisible fire that quickly melted away any guilt, the video playing in front of his eyes once again- as if the other fifty-seven times wasn’t enough. “I think I’m just going to spend my day by the pool, practice my breathing.” Jake caught onto the innuendo right away, a barely noticeable wink getting thrown his way before you turned your attention back to your brother.
Your younger brother, Jungwon, hummed at your words. Everyone knew he wasn’t paying close attention to you, your words going in one ear and out the other while he leaned against his spread knees, hands wrapped around his white controller.
“Fuck- okay, um I think the hyungs wanted to go swimming today too-“ Jungwon’s cursing became blurred out as his words grew heavy in the air. Without meaning to, Jungwon graced his friends with the perfect scenario.
“Not sure about the others, but I think I’d love to go swimming with you.” Heeseung stood up, his eyes never looking away from your own as he dramatically stretched his arms up, his shirt pulling up to display the bottom half of his torso- flexing his muscles in the process.
His lips pulled up at the side when he saw the way you shamelessly stared at his abs, your eyes burning lines into his skin as they trailed across every inch of exposed skin. His ego could only expand seeing the way you rubbed your knees together at the sight of his v-line.
And when a throat clearing on his other side moved your attention from his body, Heeseung wanted nothing more than to punch Jay’s faux shy smirk off his lips.
Jay pushed forward, his chest stopping centimetres from yours. “I don’t have any trunks, do you mind showing me where the spares are?” He tilted his head to the side with a much less shy smile, his eyebrows slightly raising as he waited for your response.
He made the effort to never look away from your eyes, his pupils expanding under the bright light. It was only then that you noticed the light freckles spreading across the expanse of his nose, your eyes connecting the new constellations as his question faded into the back of your mind.
Jay saw one of the boys move forward before he felt them, a hand-clapping against his shoulder before he was spun towards them. Sunghoon’s face was bare of expression, his hold on Jay’s shoulder tightening with every word that came from his lips- “Well luckily for you I also need a pair and I happen to know exactly where Jungwon keeps them.”
Sunghoon didn’t look your way before he turned his back to the two of you, his footsteps light as he began descending down the hallway. You watched through a haze as the other boys followed, their overlapping whispers barely audible over each other.
But at last, you managed to make out one before the four of them disappeared from your sight, “we all have trunks, we literally planned on using them last night?” And with that, a smirk grew on your lips.
Naivety was one game that you had mastered from an early age, it was about time they caught on. And so you turned on your heel, walking towards the laundry room to collect one of your many pool towels.
“I’m going out, Minjae needs help setting up for the party tomorrow.” Your brother rushed past you, his hand plucking your sunglasses from your head with a playful smile, “I think I'll be needing these a bit more.” And with the close of the door, you decided to ditch your towel.
If the boys were playing the game you thought they were then you definitely wouldn’t be needing one.
All four boys couldn’t move their eyes from your barely covered form, their mouths practically open and drooling watching the way you pulled your dress up.
The sun kissed your skin in a perfectly golden hue, your body glistening with an addictive enhancement due to a thin layer of sweat.
Their cheeks grew warm as they watched you pull the fabric over your hips, their greedy eyes drinking in all newly exposed skin. They were all aware that they were tiptoeing the line of being perverted, but god the way you moved was fucking hypnotizing.
One second they had you, and the next they didn’t. You went diving into the deep end, a perfected technique that they would’ve commented on under any other circumstances.
By the time you rose from the water, time moved in slow motion. Your hair slung over your shoulder, droplets of water cascading down your face- dripping everywhere from your lips to your eyelashes.
A forbidden fruit, that’s still all you were.
Half an hour later, that stance was impossible to believe. Heeseung had you right where he wanted you, your covered core pressed against his, discretely grinding against him as you pretended to play colours.
“hm, is your colour red?” Your head tilted to the side, arms wrapped around his shoulder as you prepared to get dunked again.
“No.” He lied. His colour was, in fact, red, but in his defence you just looked way too good in his arms, wrapped around him. He wasn’t sure how he managed to get into this situation, but after a singular look from you, he had folded.
He was almost positive that for the game colours the second player would be held bridal style, but you insisted otherwise. And Heeseung decided then and there that he’d never argue with a pretty girl.
“How about green?” Heeseung shook his head once, a cheesy smile on his lips. You groaned out loud, your hand smacking against the water as you threw your little tantrum.
Heeseung decided against dunking you this time, your cute upset smile warming his chest. “How about a different game, truth or dare?”
You jumped up with excitement, the movement causing Heeseung to groan. You both paused, eyes wide once you realized what just happened.
“Oh- I’m sorry-“ You tried apologizing to which Heeseung just shushed you, his face bright red. “Truth or dare?” He decided to change the subject, giving you an appreciative smile once you reciprocated it.
“No, can I go first?” Heeseung jokingly rolled his eyes at you, his arms propping up on the poolside behind him.
“Truth.” Heeseung assumed this would be the easy way out, as it usually was. It wasn’t that he had any secrets to hide, so why wouldn’t he choose truth?
“Have you ever had sex in a pool?” This, perhaps, is the only time Heeseung wishes that he chose dare.
“No.” He didn’t provide an explanation, not even after you desperately begged for one. It was the truth, he never has. He didn’t see the appeal to hook up with someone in the pool, because what’s the point?
“Truth or dare?”
“Dare.” Heeseung wasn’t shocked, dare having been your go-to since you were a child.
“I dare you kiss me.” Heeseung thought you’d reject him, leave him to go bother someone else. But you’ve been the person to deny a dare.
And so you leaned forward, connecting your lips. It was only a second long, but it managed to changed your entire dynamic.
“Truth or dare?” And against Heeseung’s better judgment, he finally chose dare.
“I dare you to fuck me.”
Heeseung knew it was risky, but a dare was a dare, right?
“Are you seriously fucking in the pool?” Heeseung froze, there’s no way they just got caught- “Are you jealous?” there was no denying it now.
If you didn’t care that the others knew, why would he? And so he pulled at the two strings holding your bottoms together, completely removing them.
The other boys’ faces fell when they saw Heeseung raise your bottoms, betrayal swimming across their faces watching the way his hands controlled your body.
“What the fuck-” Jake choked out after a minute of watching his best friend trust into you, the way your legs wrapped around his waist as you filled your hips to match his pace.
Your moan awoke something deep within them, a desire that made each of them forget about the entire “forbidden fruit” bullshit.
“Don’t be rude, share.” Heeseung rolled his eyes at Sunghoon’s demand but complied. There was plenty of time for Heeseung to make you cum, this one time won’t make a difference.
He hauled you onto the side of the pool, your cunt exposed for all of them to see. Sunghoon didn’t waste a minute before he threw your legs over his shoulder, pressing his face into you.
Your hands wrapped around his loose hair, the wet strands pulling together in a makeshift ponytail. He started by licking across the labia, his tongue flat against the entirety of you.
He used two fingers to spread you, his nose pushing against your clit as he lapped at your leaking hole, his quiet groan causing vibrations to speak across your entire body.
His touch awakened many of the nerves in your body, his tongue bringing you to a place no other man managed to and that was only within the first minute. You didn’t even want to imagine the way you’d feel by the time you finished on his face, would it be as good as you hoped? Or even better?
Jake was growing impatient, his face nearly pressed against your leg as he watched the way Sunghoon ate you- his entire body throbbing with need.
Heeseung noticed and nudged Jake forward, his head nodding towards the place Sunghoon’s head was buried, “we’re sharing, remember?”
Jake didn’t need to be told twice, easily sliding between your leg and Sunghoon’s arm. You looked at Jake with confusion, having never been put in a situation where two men wanted to have you at the same time.
But Jake didn’t care, all he needed was to taste you- to feel your pulse against his tongue.
Once he knew that you were watching he lowered his head towards the place where Sunghoon’s mouth was attached to you, both men making eye contact for half a second before the other man shifted to the side- making room for the other.
Your jaw dropped open when he attached his mouth to your clit, his tongue using the mixture of your wetness and Sunghoon’s spit to move in spirals.
It seemed that the lewd noises from Jake caught the attention of the other two boys, their jaws matching yours. “Holy shit-“ Heeseung leaned forward to view better, his hand coming down to push Jake’s hair from his face.
The three of you watched as the two boys performed, their tongues pressing together as they switched positions, Jake pulling one of your knees over his shoulder in an attempt to pull you closer.
Heeseung used his hold on Jake’s hair to tilt his head closer to Sunghoon’s, their lips practically touching with every move. “Our baby deserves a better view.” He tsked from his position on your side, eyebrows furrowed while he watched the boys walk an invisible line.
Sunghoon’s heavy eyes glared up towards Heeseung, his sticky cheeks glistening so pretty under the pool's lights. There were some things that Sunghoon could ignore, but a blatant challenge? He’d be dead before he proved anyone wrong.
And so, while maintaining eye contact, he turned his head towards Jake. He pushed his lips against the side of the boys, pushing his tongue to lick at the exact stop Jake was lapping at.
Jake, of course, reciprocated right away- both boys practically making out against your cunt, strings of saliva connected the three of you together. And such performers they were, the other boys growing jealous at your undivided attention being pulled at the boys between your legs.
A rough tap on your cheek was enough to pull your attention back to a kneeling, now hands-free, Heeseung. One of his now free hands gripped at the area where your chin and neck meet, his thumb pressing directly on your pulse point.
“Are they making you feel good?” He cooed, his lips jutting out while his other hand toyed with the string of his bathing suit bottoms.
You nodded at his words, your face melting into his palms with a dumb look in your eyes. Heeseung barely managed to keep down his smile, his chest warming at the sight of you nuzzling against him.
If it wasn’t for the throbbing in his lower body, then maybe he could’ve adored the sight for a minute longer. But his impatience grew thin the longer he heard the noise from between your legs, jealousy stirring deep in his stomach.
“Open your mouth.” His hand moved further up your chin, your cheeks now pressed between two of his fingers, tightening as he applied pressure, forcing your lips open. You tried your best to keep your lips sealed, a playful action that evoked the exact reaction you expected.
Heeseung’s eyes narrowed on demand, his nose slightly scrunching together as he looked at you with a look you recognized all too well.
Your stomach tightened in anticipation, the rumours surrounding Heeseung’s kinks coming to your head.
It wasn’t a secret that Heeseung got around, but his partners seemed to remain a mystery. You had first heard the rumours in your eleventh-grade history class, a few girls crowded around the seat behind you, their voices mudding together as they formed their own fantasies.
It wasn’t hard to hear the name of the man of the hour, your brother's best friend’s name being on your mind more times than it was supposed to.
It was a childhood crush, a dream that got crushed with the words spilling from the other girl's lips. They’d whisper about how Heeseung only bed college women, about how he only liked women with experience.
In their words, he wanted someone who could “handle it.” At first, you didn’t understand what they meant, handle what? It was a week later when you finally understood, it was then when you decided that you were over him.
If you couldn't get under him, why not get over him? And that’s what you did, well until now.
It was safe to say that the current you could handle him, your experience growing tenfold in the year after you graduated.
But there was this one rumoured kink that you couldn’t seem to shake, one that has stuck around since the day you heard it.
He rose to his feet, pushing his trunks down in a smooth swipe, completely exposing himself to your watering mouth. His hand returned to its position, pressing your mouth open once again. Only this time, you allowed him.
His length felt heavy on your tongue, foreign to what you were used to. He was much bigger than most of your past partners, which you took as a good sign.
There had to be some proof of the rumour, and you couldn’t help but take this as the first hint. The second hint came directly after, his tip hitting the back of your throat, bottoming out straight away.
Throatfucking? Sure it was pretty basic, but god some men just couldn’t do it. They either went too fast and shallow, barely reaching halfway across your tongue. Or they went too slow and deep, your boredom growing as they used your throat in a pathetic attempt.
Heeseung, the man who was almost known for his head game rumours, seemed to be the perfect fit.
Your senses were filled with nothing but him. His taste filled your mouth, the precum coating your mouth in a layer of lubricant. Both your throat and scalp burned with each thrust, but it hurt so good.
His soft grunts made you all more pliant, loosening your jaw to allow more suction, it was a sight straight out of both of your wet dreams. Jay seemed to agree.
Jay’s hand wrapped around the base of your throat, tightening- holding you in place. His breath tickled your ear as he blew warm air against it, his words slipping out with each harsh thrust getting pushed in.
“You can feel him so deep, can’t you?” He pressed small kisses along your jawline, trailing down to the center of your throat. He pulled away the tiniest bit, his eyes glowing with amazement as he watched the way your skin bulged every few seconds.
He raised a finger to press against the most prominent spot, his lips following suit as he began nipping against the same spot. “C’mon, I need you too…” He trailed off, alternating between kissing and sucking on your exposed neck.
“Please, don’t make me beg.” Jay didn’t need to say another word, your hand already blindly searching for his shorts. His hand quickly guided yours, pushing it between his stomach and the elastic.
His head fell against your shoulder, his chest pressed halfway across your back. He didn’t care for the man on his other side, his eyes closing as he melted into the feeling of your hands rubbing against his bare cock.
Heeseung’s head fell back at your increase of moans, the vibrations rushing his release. He quickly pulled out of your mouth, his hand gripping around his base as he stopped himself from cumming too early.
Heeseung looked back between your legs, Sunghoon now sucking hickeys against your thighs as Jake pushed his finger into you, his tongue licking at the skin stretching around them.
A cool shiver spread through his back, his bare body exposed to the cold wind blowing from the pool. It was then that he noticed that goosebumps were present along most of your arms, granted some were for other reasons, but it was the only sign he needed.
Instead of using words, he just opted to lean toward the two boys still half-submerged in the water. He grabbed Jake’s hair, pulling his face away from your cunt.
Jake’s eyes snapped up, confusion clouding his irises. Heeseung ignored the look before letting Jake go, reaching over to do the same thing to Sunghoon.
Sunghoon caught onto Heeseung’s look way quicker, his body detaching from yours as he hauled himself from the pool, his trunks tight against his waist.
Jake, albeit still a bit confused, followed suit right away. Heeseung looked at Jake’s now bare thighs, his eyebrows furrowing in a silent question.
Jake only shrugged, shooting him a sly smile before he used his thumb to point over his shoulder, his black trunks floating along the surface on the other side of the pool.
All that was left was you and Jay, your full attention on him. His chest pushing harshly against you, his heartbeat thumping against your shoulder blades.
“We’re going inside.” Jay shook his head against you, his hips pushing forward to rut into your warm hands. You clicked your tongue in faux annoyance, your fingers tightening almost painfully against him- forcing his movements to stop.
You removed your hands from his shorts, your hands wrapping around the band to pull him in front of you. Your chests were pressed together, hearts beating as one.
His watery eyes opened, meeting yours as his cheeks flushed. Your facade melted, your eyes filling with adoration at his needy expression. “We’re not done, you’ll feel so much better upstairs.” You whispered, ignoring all the other boy's eyes staring directly at your exposed body.
Jay still didn’t move, his eyes pulling you in once again. Without a thought, you pushed your lips against his- tilting your head for a closer angle.
It wasn’t even ten seconds in when Heeseung came stomping over, his hand grabbing Jay’s hair to pull his lips away from yours. A thick string of spit stretched across both of your lips, your head following his.
All boy's jaws dropped at your following action, their arousal and jealousy battling against each other. You leaned forward once more, your tongue pressing against the side of Jay's mouth, swiping from one side to the other.
You causally licked the spit from his lips before swiping at your own bottom lip. After a moment of silence, you looked up.
Jay’s mouth opened and closed, gaping at the sudden action. “You- what?” He blubbered out, shock heavy in his tone. And just as Jake did before, you just shrugged. “Can’t let it go to waste, can we?” You stood up using Sunghoon’s outstretched palm, entwining your fingers while sliding your slides back on.
“We’re going inside, now,” Heeseung growled towards Jay, his eyes watching your hips sway as you walked away.
The second you stepped into your bedroom Sunghoon pushed you against the wall, his hand wrapped tight around your throat with his lips pushed into yours- pinning you down.
He traced your entire body, nerves coming alive with every inch of unmarked space. He finally moved his eyes down to the marks on your thighs, his marks.
Pride. Pride wasn’t a new feeling to Sunghoon, but he swears he’d never felt it this strong. He was almost happy that you were left unmarked, he didn’t even want to think about how he’d react to seeing proof of another man’s hands touching you.
Sure he was furious that you weren’t getting the pleasure you deserved, but Sunghoon could give you all that and more. He’d give you anything, even if it meant sharing you with three of his friends.
“Why didn’t you come to me?” He knew he had to ask now because if he didn’t then he wouldn’t ever build himself to.
Your expression became guarded, lips pulling closed at his hurt tone. “What do you mean?” Sunghoon froze, did you not know?
You watched his reaction, the way he retracted into himself. “With your needs, I could’ve helped you.” He tried regaining his confidence, squaring his shoulders as he stood taller.
“You wouldn’t have to fake it with me.” Ah, now you understood. A smirk rose on your lips, your hands moving on their own as you gripped his waist.
“Are you sure? My other boys make me feel pretty good.” You stressed the last few words while your hands travelled further up his exposed torso- pressing against his lower stomach for a few seconds before tracing the lines between his flexed abs.
Sunghoon hissed under his breath at your words, his eyes darkening at the mention of your former partners.
“The video didn’t seem very promising, we wouldn’t have you looking all neat, looking untouched.” It was then that Sunghoon realized the other boys were surrounding his other sides, their arms almost pressed against his.
You looked up towards Heeseung, tilting your head with a fake pondering look, “A video?” He nodded once, his jaw clenched at your fake oblivious attitude.
“And how did I look?” You wrapped your hand around Sunghoon’s, pulling it away from your neck. He took your action as a signal to move back, pulling his body from yours.
All the boys stayed silent at your question- which was something that didn’t sit right with you. You looked at each of them before you landed on Jake, noting the way his cock twitched at your sudden attention.
You turned your body to face him while ignoring all the other boys, your palm coming up to rest against his heaving chest. You made a show of trailing your finger across your collar bones, all the way up to your halter bikini top.
“How did I look, Jakey?” A stuttered cough left his left the second your finger pulled at the knot, your top now dangling around your rib cage, your breast completely exposed.
“I didn’t do this, did I?” You grabbed his wrists, moving his hands to press your breasts together. You contorted your expression into one of pleasure, your lips dramatically dropping open as you pretended to choke on your words.
Jake shook his head to the side, his body moving on autopilot as he calculated his next moves.
“No, but I think you knew that.” You pursed your lips while shaking your head at him, nose scrunching up in annoyance. “I didn't see the video, you did.”
Heeseung reacted before anyone else, his hand grabbing your arm to pull you towards your bed.
“You’ve been bratty all night, clearly no one’s taught you to behave.” Heeseung pushed you flat against the bed, his knee pressing flesh against your sensitive pussy. You let out a loud mewl, your back arching into his knee. “I think you need to teach me again.” Your head flew back when you began moving your hips against him, his knee providing the perfect pressure against your swollen clit.
Heeseung kept his arms crossed across his chest, expression unmoving as you used his knee to get off. Your whimpers had a clear effect on both Jay and Jake, both of their hands wrapped around their exposed cocks as they jerked themselves off at the sight.
“P- please help, it doesn’t feel as good without someone’s help.” You blubbered out a beg, your lips pouting together while your lash line filled with unshed tears. Your desperation was clear, your hips stuttering against the bed due to the lack of pressure.
“Aw look at you, a slutty baby who can’t do anything by herself.” Sunghoon cooed from over Heeseung’s shoulder, his hand holding onto his shoulder as he watched the way you rubbed against Heeseung.
“But pathetic cry babies don’t deserve help, do they?” You rapidly shook your head, plethoras of different disagreements leaving your lips.
“But you’re not a crybaby.” Jake joined into the taunting, kid body weighing you down as he kneeled to your side. His hands reached over to rub across your cheeks, his fingers catching your salty tears. You nodded your head, eyes wide with excitement thinking that at least one of them was on your side.
“So stop fucking crying.” His harsh words were still sung with the same cooing tone, his gentle hands contradicting their speech.
“M’not crying, not a baby.” Jake nodded along to your words, repeating them back to you once before he turned his head to look at the two boys standing above you.
They both nodded toward Jay, who was still standing on the right side of the bed- opposite to Jake. Jake gave the other boy a single once-over before he nodded back at the other two.
Jake placed a small kiss against the apple of your cheek, your salty tears sticking to his skin before stood up from his position. You, who read the situation wrong, began repeating your small sorrys. Apologies slipped from your mouth in a slobbly mantra, your desperate attempt to be touched once again.
“You’re sorry?” It was a rhetorical question, but still- you answered. Heeseung took charge once again, his hand pressing against your knee- rubbing small circles into it.
“Prove it to us.”
Jay, who removed his trunks at the door, crawled onto the bed beside you. He sat in the center of the bed, right above your head. “Make Jay feel good, show him how much you need him.”
You didn’t waste another second before you turned to your stomach, your ass pressed in the air as you arched towards the other boys. Your hand wrapped around Jay, your tongue peaking out to give small kitten licks to his tip.
Jay bit his lip in anticipation, his feet twitching by his side with each small touch. His head was filled with nothing but you, the thoughts of you.
His nightly thoughts were finally getting played out, the warmth of your lips millimetres away from him drove him insane. But he wasn’t the only one growing desperate, the sharp smack against your ass laying it down.
“Giving him those pathetic licks won’t do anything, even Sunghoon could do better.” Heeseung tutted, his hand smacking you once before before he pressed his hand flat against your upper back, pushing you closer to Jay.
“What the fuck?” Sunghoon glared at Heeseung for adding his name, to which he just gave him an exasperated look. “You were the one practicing making out with Jake earlier, not me.”
Both named boys looked away, their cheeks burning bright red. “Whatever.” Sunghoon scoffed, his shyness still coming in full force as he recalled the way he reacted earlier.
Their almost argument was cut off at the gasp Jay let out, all three of them watching the way his face pulled up in pleasure. Heeseung never thought that he’d enjoy watching another man’s reaction to getting their dick sucked, but he also never thought that he’d be sharing someone with three of his friends.
The sounds coming from your lips were downright disgusting, slurps mixed with the occasional gag- but in a way, you’ve never sounded better.
Heeseung could see the way Jake was stopping himself from stroking too much- not wanting to cum anywhere but in you. Sunghoon noticed it too, his small snickers catching the Australian boys attention.
Jake’s jaw dropped when both boys stepped back, allowing Jake to take their place. He waited a few seconds, making sure that he was actually catching what they were throwing- and not making it up in his head.
He got his answer in the way the boys moved on either side of the bed, Heeseung’s hand resting against Jake’s shoulder when he stepped beside him.
Heeseung gave him a small nudge, pushing him towards your legs. He gave a reassuring nod with a tight-lipped smile, and that was all Jake needed.
“Comdom?” Heeseung leaned forward to meet your eyes, his question heavy in the air. Sunghoon stood with bated breath as he waited for your response, his chest blowing out when you finally shook your head.
Jake knew you were spread enough, having been the one to stretch you out by the pool. And you certainly were wet enough, but even that couldn’t stop him from spitting on his palm- rubbing it across his entire dick.
He used one hand to push your back into a further arch, the other wrapped around his base as he lined himself up. The second his tip entered you the tiniest bit- he pauses.
If this was going to be the only time he got to have you, why not savour it all? He removed his hand from his base but instead used it to spread your lips out.
He got the full effect, watching the way your tight hole sucked him in- gripping him. His groan rolled from his mouth once he bottomed out, his balls slapping against you once before he pulled back out, slamming in harder the second time.
Both of his hands were now gripping your hips, his short nails making half-moons across your skin as he repeatedly pulled you back into him.
You saw stars, the stimulation feeling like nothing before. You weren’t sure if you could ever go back to only fucking one person, not when two people against you felt this good.
A cock in your mouth and one in your pussy, heaven. They were fucking ruining you, and you loved every moment of it.
You felt the way Jay was getting closer, his noises growing quieter the longer he held his breath. You reached your hand under your chin, massaging his balls with one hand while the other pressed down on his pubic bone for stabilization.
You completely removed him from your lips, your tongue sticking out as you trailed it across his most prominent vein, curling it once around the tip before you swooped back down. You replaced your hand with your mouth, sucking his balls into your mouth while your hand twisted along the length.
You used one finger to press against the slit on his tip, pressing it down. His hips shot forward, a loud moan breaking from his lips at the sensitivity.
As quickly as you did that, you switched again. Your mouth sunk back down onto him, holding your breath as you held him deep in your throat.
A second after he let out a pitchy breath, he released in your mouth. Usually, the taste of cum didn’t bother you. Sure it was usually bitter, but after a while, you just learned to ignore it.
And maybe Jay tasted similar, but he tasted so different. He was addicting, every part of him. And it was for that reason that you didn’t pull away, why you kept going even when his body began twitching beneath you. It’s why you went faster when his broken pleads turned into inaudible sounds. It was why you swallowed around him a second time, swallowing everything he had to give you. Except this time, you held it in your mouth.
You pulled off of him, his cum still in your mouth. You looked up towards Sunghoon, his eyes widening when you gestured to him to get closer.
And maybe if you weren’t so fucking hot, then maybe he wouldn’t have complied. Maybe he wouldn’t have opened his mouth, allowing you to spit it into his own. Maybe he wouldn’t have listened to your next orders, but god, you were so fucking hot.
“Share it with Jake.” They all knew what you meant, and at Jake’s small nod, they all knew exactly. what. you. meant.
“Holy shit-” Jay’s jaw was on the ground as he watched his friends share his cum between their lips, their tongues twisting together as it grew more intense.
If Jake’s thrusts meant anything, then you knew that he more than liked it. He loved it.
“Sunghoon, join Jake.” Your head snapped over to Heeseung, your eyes wide as his words processed in your head. Heeseung ignored your look, staring dead into Sunghoon’s eyes. “I don’t think she’s proved herself yet, one cock in her clearly isn’t enough.”
The next minute was a blur. One second you were arched into Jake, and the other you were sat on his lap with your legs wrapped around Sunghoon’s waist- his cock inches from you.
Heeseung’s fingers were pressed deep into your ass, the spilled lube coating Jake’s lower stomach. After the third finger, Heeseung decided you were stretched enough.
Heeseung helped holding you up, your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he lowered you onto Jake. Your arms tightened hard around him, your eyes falling closed at the new feeling of having someone pushing into you from the back.
You’ve tried many things, but anal definitely wasn’t one.
“Relax, let him in,” Heeseung whispered into your ear, one of his hands rubbing circles into your back. You did what he said, letting go of all the tension in your lower body.
It didn’t take very long for Jake to bottom out, time blurring together due to your hyperfocus on the unknown feeling. “You did s’good.” Heeseung pecked your ear once before he released you, raising his hands to pull your arms off of him.
You put your arms on Jake’s side, holding him for stability. He took two steps back, still close enough to pull you away if you showed any discomfort.
The first few thrusts felt weird, the pleasure yet to come. But once it came, it came fast. Your back arched as your head fell back, your lips gaping open.
Your legs tightened around Sunghoon’s waist, pulling him closer. “P-please-“ you begged through broken moans, your desperation clawing at your chest.
You weren’t entirely sure what you were begging for, but you knew whatever Sunghoon gave you would help. He hesitated for a minute after he lined himself up, his worries of hurting you replacing his neediness for a split second.
It was a split second too long, long enough for you to reach one hand forward and pull his hips into you. Both Jake and Sunghoon paused at the feeling, Jake’s stomach tightening under your hold.
Sunghoon’s expression was nothing if not pure bliss, his eyes half open, his mouth wide as he let out heavy exhales. His rosy cheeks seemed extra pigmented, his wet bangs hanging over his forehead when his head fell forward.
The sensations that you were all feeling were so intense- to the point where the three of you stopped breathing.
The feeling of two cocks in you was something you could never explain, nothing compared.
And for the boys? The mixture of the tightness and the groves of another dick against theirs? Insane, but so delicious.
Sunghoon was the first to start moving, his hesitant thrusts causing butterflies to erupt on all three of your stomachs.
Once Sunghoon found his tempo, Jake began moving to watch it. Your head was completely empty, your mind focused on nothing but the feeling of them entering and exiting you.
Sunghoon leaned forward towards you, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples while the other one played with the other. His moves were slightly sloppy, imprecise pinches and nibbles alternating between each tit.
Heeseung noticed it right away, his hand coming out to shoo Sunghoon away with a harsh glare. “If you’re not going to do it right, don’t fucking do it at all.” His lips relaxed Sunghoon’s, the difference between the two more obvious than not.
Your chest arched into Heeseung’s mouth, his eyes fluttering closed as he trailed a line of kisses between each breast, small hickeys getting left at random.
Jay, feeling left out, moved forward to join. He was already as hard as he was when you started, the sight before him nearly sending him into a spiral.
His hand reached down to circle around your clit, his finger never once directly touching it- he knew no one wanted it to end yet.
It was clear to the four boys when you got close, your body responding to all their touches differently. Jay now allowed his fingers to make contact, fast circles setting your nerves on fire.
Sunghoon pushed his hand against your stomach, feeling his cock kiss his palm with every push. The bugs made his fantasies come out, images of you swollen with his kids chasing his hips to push in further.
His primal instincts won against the rational side of his brain, the desire to fill you up feeling stronger than ever. Realistically, he knew you wouldn’t fall pregnant. The plan b pills and your birth control were proof enough, but it didn’t hurt to pretend- right?
It was then that he remembered the entire reason why they were doing this. It was to prove a point, wasn’t it? And that’s when he got a great idea, one that made complete sense in his half-conscious brain.
The other man gave proof, shouldn’t they return the favour? His phone was forgotten by the poolside, same with Jake’s.
He had almost lost hope until his eyes caught your phone on your bedside, his eyes lighting up in relief. “Pass me that phone.” Heeseung did what he was asked without question, his lips, which were now attached to yours, stayed unmoving while he reached over.
He blindly grabbed at the table, taking the first thing that felt like the phone. He’d passed it to Sunghoon- who accepted it right away.
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the unfamiliar phone, whose was this?
He knew you didn’t get a new one, having texted you yesterday asking to hang out- to which you cancelled.
So whose phone was this? Upon noticing that it was shut down, he quickly powered it on. The screen was blank for a second before messages came flooding in.
No fucking way.
You let out a muffled moan at Sunghoon’s sudden harsh trust, Heeseung’s lips still moving against yours.
And at the same time the cameras clicked, you came.
All four boys panted around you, two of them releasing inside of you right after you finished. Sunghoon ignored the phone for now, tossing it to the side as he pushed himself as deep as he could- holding his hips in place. Even when Heeseung helped Jake pull out, Sunghoon stayed- plugging your cunt full, refusing to let a drop out.
“Switch? I promise I won’t let it leak out.” Heeseung knew exactly what to say to get Sunghoon to move, and it worked every time.
Sunghoon and Jake stepped back, allowing the other two to take their place. Sunghoon zoned out while Heeseung and Jay situated themselves, choosing the position they wanted you in.
Now that he was in a slightly better mindset, the images from the phone came rolling back in.
Why the hell were you getting the messages they’d sent in that group chat? There was no one else in the group except for them and the random number.
It was nearly impossible for you to get those messages unless you were that random number. Sunghoon raised his eyes back towards you, then to the phone, then back to you.
He noticed that you’d seen him make the connection, and you smiled. Naivety was one game that you had mastered from an early age, it was about time they caught on.
#sincerelyrki#kpop smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#heeseung smut#jay smut#jake smut#sunghoon smut#lee heeseung smut#jay park smut#park jongseong smut#sim jaeyun smut#jake sim smut#park sunghoon smut#enhypen heeseung smut#enhypen jay smut#enhypen jake smut#enhypen sunghoon smut#enhypen jake#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen heeseung#enhypen jay#enhypen#enhypen au#enha jake smut#enha heeseung smut#enha jay smut#enha sunghoon smut#enhypen hyung line#enhypen hyung line smut
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:3
#i love my bf so much dont get me wrong but#it hurts so bad coming to terms w the fact that other ppl will never try as hard for me as i do for them#and idk maybe im overreacting#for reference hes at a con in japan rn and sent me photos of merch and i asked if he could possibly get me one of the shirts bc i rly rly#want it and he said no the line is rly long i wanna see the rest of the con and im with my friends#i dont wanna get in the way of that! but at the same time if it were reversed#id wanna do anything for him id line up immediately to get that damn shirt#and idk if that's on me for being too people pleasing or on him for being selfish#or having boundaries? knowing to put himself first in a good way?#i can argue it both ways in my head so i dont think im right in getting upset#but i also cant help but sob anyway bc ik id waste all my time at a con waiting in a merch line if my bf wanted smth#n it hurts knowing that thats not smth that gets reciprocated#but i dont know if i should expect that#ok anyway#im gonna get more drunk and try to ignore it bc talking to him right now would just be bad#i dont wanna annoy him while hes w his friends#god fuck#a.txt
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Why the hell is JJK 270 called Dream's End?
JJK 270 being titled Dream’s End is so fudging ominous. That’s some Umineko type beat. I’m not sure if I should even judge this chapter as presented because of this. In fact, I'm holding off on posting the other analysis I had for today since I no longer am certain of what JJK 268–270 are.
There's two lines of thought I have:
1) Gege suffering from burnout and bad working conditions plus rushing has caused the writing to decline.
2) Gege still has a hidden ace saved for the final chapter and the weird writing is deliberate.
I'm going to humor Option 2, but only because the title of this chapter is called Dream's End.
(The most 'hear me out' discussion under the cut. Using TCB scans and leaks. Click images for captions/citations.)
[Small Update: Follow-up Discussion on why everyone feels OOC.]
Preface
"Without love it cannot be seen."
This is a phrase and philosophy I have borrowed from Umineko since I've started these JJK yapfests. It essentially boils down to 'discard your negative biases and try to examine things in good faith.'
JJK 268 & 269 have fudging tested that for me. I've been giving Gege and the characters a pretty hard time with the caveat of knowing how exploitative the manga industry is. I initially rejected the idea that these chapters were to be taken at anything other than face-value because of this. In fact, I cited the JJK 268 chapter title of Finale as a reason I've accepted things as is.
And with that same logic, I'm now doing the opposite... So hear me out! I've got some pretty good reasons to be doing this.
What's wrong with JJK 268–270?
There's a lot of things in these chapters that are fundamentally inconsistent with what's been established in throughout the manga. If we use Option 1 to explain these contradictions, these are last second retcons because Gege forgor.
Option 2? We're about to have the rug pulled the hell out from under us because the last 3 chapters have been delusions.
What first tipped me off to something possibly being wrong on purpose was the fate of the incarnated culling game players in JJK 270. Not too long ago it was established that the souls of non-sorcerers in vessels were unsavable.
The souls are suppressed in a way that distorts them permanently or their consciousness is outright destroyed. They were gambling on Megumi's survival due to him being a sorcerer and Sukuna's incarnation method being unique. 99% of them will die and those who survive will likely be vegetables, so why is there a sudden gamble on their survival in JJK 270?
It's such a neat and fine bow to tie this mess up that goes directly against existing lore. It's so ideal that it has me suspicious.
Brain damage from sorcery on non-sorcerers has been established as extremely taxing. I think about Gojo's Unlimited Void (UV) the most when it comes to this. Non-sorcerers were hit by it for 0.2 seconds and required medical intervention for 2 months to fully heal from it. Sukuna, the absolute strongest, tanked some of it and it affected him for the rest of the battle. ...And then we have Megumi who was under it for about 6 minutes and seems to have very little problems from it.
This is bizarre. Someone who underwent the month long bath and UV without Reverse Curse Technique (RCT) should be struggling to even stand after waking up. Sukuna had RCT and the Gojo brain damage still took him out. This screams of inconsistent writing unless...this is a deliberate hint that something is amiss.
I want to draw attention to the panel Megumi's UV damage is addressed. Just about everyone has been seemingly waiting around in the same spot for him to wake up. It's a bit weird given that sorcerers don't usually do that. They usually get a move on asap. And after the destruction of Shinjuku and the Culling Game Players still running about, why would they take a breather to discuss their plans that worked?
But that's not what started bothering me about that panel after reading JJK 270. It's that characters who aren't in the room, start appearing without warning. Look who is behind Maki and to the left. It's Kusakabe. And to her and Yuta's right? Inumaki. So why is it that Hakari, Kiara, and Ino are in Kusakabe's place while Todo spawns where Inumaki is? (And Yuta is facing the wrong direction too.)
That's pretty fudging weird right? You can chalk it up to Gege forgor but it doesn't stop there. Higuruma enters the discussion in a way that causes Yuji to pause.
Why is Yuji surprised to see him? (And where the fudge did he come from?) Shouldn't he know of his survival by now? And why is he in a cast? Higuruma had learned RCT and fully restored his arms before leaving the battlefield. If he's conscious, then he should be able to heal himself fully no problems.
And that got me thinking... Why is Yuji still missing his fingers?
It was established that he kept his fingers unhealed to help with Yuta's plan. This means that if he won, he has no need to keep them missing. Yuji has fully regenerated missing chunks of his face, including his eye, and stomach. He has RCT just like Higuruma. But it doesn't end there either. Yuji's number of fingers on his left hand keeps changing.
4 fingers, 3 fingers, dubious amount of fingers, 5 fingers. Once again, you can chalk it up to Gege forgor, but JJK 270 came out and the same problem started happening with Megumi's scars.
The same mistake is made within the same set of panels and very big page. That's weird.
ONCE AGAIN, you can chalk it up to Gege forgor, but when these errors occur, like with Yuta mistakenly having his ring on in JJK 251, Gege will note the mistake outright. Gege has made no such comments for Yuji's fingers or the scars. This many “errors” in row when Gege has otherwise been careful with these features could indicate it really is on purpose. (Kind of like Sukuna's everchanging mask. The thing was just moving around and pulsing. That was deliberate not inconsistency.)
What does this mean?
I think it means what we are seeing isn't reality. After all, the most common way to tell if you're dreaming is being unable to count the number of fingers on your hands. Another way to tell is the distortion of faces.
Readers have noticed that something is wrong. The weird timeskips, the lack of lasting consequences, design inconsistencies, characters behaving like similes of themselves, death and pain being glossed over like it's nothing. It all feels so off. But it's still close enough to the original to be somewhat believable. ...Is that not what it's like to dream and not know you are dreaming?
Why is it that the chapter titled Dream's End ends with the hunt for a curse user whose ability is to distort the perception of reality?
Dreams and Delusions in JJK
We already know Gege weaves Buddhist symbolism and ideas heavily into JJK. I'm not an expert in Buddhism at all, so there's a lot of it that goes over my head. I decided to look into if dreams are significant in Buddhism and boy howdy are they. Quoted directly from the source:
"Dreams can be a message from a Bodhisattva, an ancestor, or a god, The intent of the dream may be to test the dreamer’s resolve: is he non-retreating (avaivartika) from Bodhi (enlightenment) even when sleeping? The purpose of the dream visit may be to communicate information vital to the dreamer’s well-being. The Buddha himself had five dreams of catastrophes, falling stars and worlds in collision just before his enlightenment. The dreams were sent to him not by a benevolent Dharma-protector, but by an malevolent sorcerer, intent on disrupting the Buddha’s samadhi and preventing his awakening."
In summary, (correct me if I'm wrong) dreams appear to be seen as another state of being just as valuable and impermanent as reality.
There's also this other bit I'll quote directly.
"The most common use of dreams in the literature of the Mahayana, or “Northern School” of Buddhism in China, Tibet, Japan, Korea, and Vietnam is to see dreams as a simile for sunyata, (emptiness) the hollow core at the heart of all component dharmas (things). For example, in the well-known Vajra (Diamond) Sutra, the Buddha taught that:
“All conditioned dharmas, are like a dream, like an illusion, like a bubble, like a shadow, like a dewdrop, like a lightening flash; you should contemplate them thus.”"
That's starting to sound like what Yuji's Domain does, right? He projects memories that did happen and mixes them with delusions and dreams. Sukuna and Megumi both experience this in full.
It's incredibly suspicious that it hasn't been named yet. Yuji is the son of Kenjaku who has a domain based on the Womb Sutra/Realm...which is paired with the aforementioned Diamond Realm to encompass the entire Dharma. It's very likely this is what Yuji's domain is—a realm of dreams and reality combined as one.
Unreality Runs in the Family
When Sasaki Setsuko "wakes up" as the Culling Games begin, Kenjaku explains her situation with this:
What follows is a sequence that cannot be described as a dream. It seems to be a blend of reality and hallucinations. But that's not anything strange, Sukuna does it too with Kashimo in reverse.
As you can see, both the positions of the characters and even the backgrounds change suddenly from reality to ??? and from sequence to sequence. It's all incredibly dream like.
Another strange thing about this space is Kenjaku creating it as a part of an escape route Binding Vow. You know, the kind Sukuna uses for Malevolent Shrine.
What I want to draw attention to here is this reality-dream state somewhat requires consent (in the loosest possible definition) to appear. The person entering this state has to desire it themself. We see this with Jogo and Gojo who are mutually interested in having a relationship of somekind with Sukuna. (Same with Kashimo.)
(It's also very hard to tell if they are dead or still in the process of dying during this.)
This is where the delusions Yuji projects differ. They are forced onto others when he is near death or severely injured, seemingly as a defense mechanism.
And would you look at that...the syntax is identical for Todo and Choso's Brother Yuji Delusions. "At that moment, a memory was born inside X's brain...of a past event that never happened." It's kind of like how Yuji replaces Gojo in Megumi's memory to reach him. It's also very strange that Sukuna, Choso, and Jogo go "What is this?" to this in-between space.
My point here is that Yuji having access to this space has been hinted at since the start of this manga and that it was inherited it by blood. (Totally Not Kenjaku showing up with Takaba Mr. Reality Warping CT in JJK 270 supports my case too I think.)
What does this mean for JJK 268–270?
The battle ended in JJK 268. Of that I'm certain. What I no longer know is if anyone survived.
A common complaint about Sukuna's death is his lack of an afterlife scene. Everything ended so abruptly. And then Megumi wakes up.
It's so jarring in out of place. ...But that's how all scenes involving the space between dreams and reality begin. Sasaki Setsuko "wakes up" once and then again. Most of us have experienced those kind of dreams right? (They made a whole movie about it called Inception which is based on the movie Paprika.)
There's one other thing I need to draw attention to. Yuji's Domain shattered after Sukuna cast Domain Expansion (DE).
When a sorcerer withdraws their domain voluntarily, it does not shatter. Gojo has demonstrated this for us in quite clearly.
When a domain is broken by force, it will shatter and shards will scatter. When a domain is withdrawn, no shards are left behind. Yuta uses these facts as a part of his plan. In JJK 252, it's revealed by Kusakabe that Yuta shatters his own domain on purpose to trick Sukuna into thinking he won.
What this means is that some kind of violent action needs to be taken to shatter a domain. Yuji's domain is massive and his attacks only targeted Sukuna. What could've shattered his domain all at once? He's not had the time to practice shattering parts of it like Yuta.
Gojo has shown us what a uniform domain shattering looks like—it happens when Malevolent Shrine activates. (Please note that the sfx used for Sukuna breaking Gojo's domain is カシャア. It's the same one used for Yuji's domain shattering.)
I'm proposing that we've been in unreality since the end of JJK 266. Sukuna and Yuji are both severely injured, on the verge of death, and have a connection with each other. These are all conditions that trigger the space between dreams and reality.
And I must remind you that Yuji first triggers this event with Todo after a severe head injury. Right before Sukuna casts his domain, they do this to each other.
Everything that has come after has been perfect for Yuji to a unbelievable degree. Everyone whose death was uncertain is alive and the living are getting exactly what they wanted. The effort behind it and the logistics are all missing. And yes a rushed ending can explain that, but that too can be part of the ruse.
Another massive complaint is that mourning has not occurred. Not for Gojo or Choso despite how much Yuji cherished them. It's like they're being willfully forgotten by the cast despite being crucial to their success in Shinjuku. It feels out of character, especially since Yuji is of the few that showed concern for them no matter what.
But if this is a delusion on the brink of death designed to bring happiness, why would Yuji think of the dead? He's always been so avoidant with it. When his grandpa is dying and trying to talk about his parents, Yuji tells him to shut up. When Nanami dies, he thinks of him then and then never again directly leading up to his talk with Sukuna. When Megumi tries to discuss Nobara's fate, Yuji ends the conversation as quickly as possible.
The only people in this world are the ones who may or may not be dead. He saw Yuta in Gojo's corpse. The only way that can happen is if Gojo is dead. Yuji has no choice but to believe it. Choso burned away before his eyes. Yuji has no choice but to believe it. He went through some of Megumi's memories and saw Tsumiki's corpse. Yuji has no choice but to believe it.
And since Tsumiki is the only person Yuji wasn't close with, she's the only death that has been outright acknowledged. But not for too long! That would make Megumi sad.
Another complaint is that Sukuna really didn't kill anyone in the final battle outside of those two and Kashimo. The dudebros call it Disney Kaisen. But the fairytale-like idea that everyone is ok? Todo was the one who put that idea in Yuji's head.
And Yuji has always been one to fall to story-like logic when things look like they're finally wrapping up.
"And then everything will be just fine." (Yuji before the worst possible outcome for both him and Megumi happens.)
This is similar to the line Gakuganji uses in JJK 270. "Everything is fine." This line is the whole reason I sat down and wrote this all out without stopping. I know Gakuganji. He'd never say that. This man has been in a state of worry over Jujutsu Society since his first appearance. He doesn't even fully believe in Gojo's cause as someone who values tradition. He's a stickler for details and will do everything in his power to ensure stability. For him to toss Sukuna and Tengen's remains in a shrine and call it a day? Who is that? He's changed but not that much.
And so I compared the raws.
It is very much the same 大丈夫 (Daijoubu). These are Yuji's words.
What I'm proposing is that JJK 267–270 are Yuji's delusions of the happiest possible ending. It's a picture perfect little end where all the trauma and death has no effect on the living and people move on like nothing happened. I don't know if this means he's dead or if Megumi's dead or if they're all dead. But what I'm seeing now? I don't think it's real.
Reexamining JJK 269
CW: Brief discussion of suicide.
Even if this turns out to be a part of the smokescreen, I'm always going to hate JJK 269. But I do want to give it some grace under the assumption this chapter titled Examination (which can also be translated as Reflection) is about Yuji's guilt. Both him and Megumi's tbh. I think their feelings for each other and their situations are driving these delusions. That's one thing about this space that's real—the feelings behind them.
Yuji has a lot of guilt surrounding his existence after ingesting Sukuna, Megumi does too. Straight up Yuji has been seeking death over it since JJK 9.
He struggles to forgive himself for being the centerpiece to violence he had little to no control over. The only thing that upsets him more than that is knowing that his death will break Megumi's heart. He doesn't want Megumi to feel any guilt for it whatsoever.
The kicker is, Megumi already knows Yuji is planning to die. And he wants to do everything to rid him of that guilt. Up until they connect inside of Yuji's domain, they were unaware they shared the same goal for each other.
And that's what JJK 269 is. It's a very cold and harsh breakdown that allows them to forgive themselves. Blame is passed around and ultimately pinned on a combination of Gojo and Kenjaku. (It's really weird Sukuna isn't blamed either, but that's not the point of this for now.)
Kusakabe's comment is especially harsh. Telling Yuji point blank he should've died and that both sides on the issue were valid? He may have believed that to an extent, but he made a point of not telling it to his face. Why have a whole chapter discussing how kind he is only to turn around and do this?
If this is all a delusion, a manifestation of Yuji's guilt and trying to absolve himself of it for Megumi's sake, that makes sense. This version of Kusakabe is what Yuji feels guilt over the most—Everyone's lives being better if he died.
In the same breath Kusakabe tells them to solely blame the adults. It's very reminiscent of Nanami telling Yuji that being a child is not a sin.
It should also be noted that every single time Megumi tries to apologize for being possessed, he's stopped. Maki tears into Yuta without checking in on him, but she asks if Megumi is ok and tells him to not blame himself. JJK 270 is full of this too. He tries to apologize to Tsumiki at her grave and Shoko tells him not to sweat it. He tries to apologize to Hana and she hits on him instead.
This delusion is crafted out of love. It allows Megumi to live in a world where he can move on from the guilt surrounding his possession and saving Yuji. It's all Yuji has ever wanted for him. And now that Yuji knows Megumi wants him to forgive himself, he has no choice but to do that too.
It's a perfect ending for Megumi that's too good to be true.
It must be a dream...
There's another thing I can't reconcile about JJK 269 unless it's a delusion—Todo's explanation for Yuta's plan. It's another one of those glaring contradictions.
In JJK 269 Todo claims Boogie Woogie can't target Maki. But in JJK 259? Todo makes plans with Mei Mei knowing that it works with her.
Either Todo lied...or Yuji never fully knew the plan and that Boogie Woogie could target Maki. Otherwise she would be dead. Her surviving Sukuna's flames would be impossible.
I've already talked about how Yuji believing those who may or may not be dead are alive is Todo's doing. He's always been the one to save Yuji from his breakdowns. But let's talk about his speech in Shibuya.
"Looking for meaning or logic in death...can at times defile the memories of those we've lost!"
Everyone who has read these past 3 chapters has really felt the defiling of Gojo's memory. And it was all in service to a strange logic that helped them cope with all this death. Acknowledging how massive Gojo's sacrifice was would riddle both Yuji and Megumi with immense guilt, so it's best to ignore it for Megumi's sake. (And perhaps that's why Yuji replaces Gojo in that memory.)
"What have you been entrusted with? You don't need to answer right now. However... Until you find your answer, never stop moving."
In a way, JJK 269 is an answer to the question Todo proposed. Yuji was entrusted with saving Megumi. Saving Megumi requires Megumi and Yuji forgiving themselves. And Yuji won't stop moving until it's done. All these time jumps and rushed developments are Yuji moving Megumi forward. He's getting that happy ending even if it's to the detriment of everything else.
What about Sukuna?
When Sukuna respects his opponents and they have a connection, he gives others these dreams before they pass. He's been very impressed by Megumi since JJK 9. It's not out of the ballpark for him to allow Megumi to die satisfied in the way Gojo did. Yuji also seems to understand that Sukuna was manipulated by others just as much as he was. I think that's why Sukuna is spared of the blame for the most part.
I don't think Sukuna won. He's probably dead. But he did warn Yuji not to underestimate him. I think the worst absolute last fudge you to Yuji he could give is this happy ending dream before ripping it all away as he dies.
In Conclusion...
I'm not sure that we're going to get that happy ending. Reggie Star warned us not too long ago.
"...it all comes down to a sorcerer's lies."
Reggie is a lot like Sukuna here, outwitted by modern sorcerers and dying to someone he loathes. Sukuna is good at tricking people. He let Gojo think he won before tearing it all away. Yuta did the exact same thing to him. Or did he?
"Can you do me a favor? After all, you've killed me. Let fate toy with you, become a clown, then die."
If the last 3 chapters are delusions...Megumi will be playing the part of a clown.
Gege said the manga would end with either 1/4 or 3/4 of Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, and Gojo surviving. This of course, could be changed throughout its development, but Gege said the manga is ending in its original vision. There's a real chance that it's only Yuji or Nobara surviving.
Remember, Gege is a troll first and foremost. Somehow Gojo was revived, but in the worst way possible (Yujo). Somehow Gojo did tell Megumi about Toji, but in the worst way possible (dead man's final letter).
Gege also said this about the final chapter:
"I am working hard to create a final chapter that will (hopefully) satisfy as many people as possible who have supported Jujutsu Kaisen. So everyone, please bear with me!"
I can't think of a better way to appease everyone than by making the last 3 chapters nothing more than dream.
#cactus yaps#I asked Gege for an Umineko reference and BOY did I get one. There is a nonzero chance Yuji is doing a Battler here and that terrifies me.#I'm actually excited for next week's chapter. Gege will you follow through on what you've put down... We will see...#This is a post that will either age really well or really bad. My final gamble before the end.#This chapter brought back my ''Fever'' for JJK. Let's fudging go!#I should tag this as itafushi probably.#itadori yuji#fushiguro megumi#ryomen sukuna#jjk 270#jjk 269#jjk meta#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers
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Still Wanna Play?
jason todd x afab!reader
aka jason puts you back in your place
warnings: explicit sexual content (18+), soft!dom jason, (attempted) soft!dom reader
When Jason returned from patrol last night you were in a mood. The second he walked in your bedroom you’d given him those eyes, those sweet, wide eyes. The ones that let him know you want him to do whatever he wants to you, as long as he does something.
He’d settled on pinning your wrists to your stomach and holding them there as he ate you out, only breaking away to tease you about how desperate you were for him to take care of you.
And you were, to be fair.
But now, as you lay in bed next to him hours later, your mind starts to drift into what-if territory. But not your usual, worst-case scenarios. Something new. Something…interesting.
What if he was that desperate for you to take care of him? Would he even let you push him that far?
You’d never really tried to reverse your roles—you’ve been on top plenty, but always with his hands around you, controlling your pace or his words of direction.
But you really wanted to know.
You turn your body to fully face him, making quick work of removing his book from his hands and setting it open on the bedside table.
Your proximity returns quickly, nustling up against his side, placing scattered kisses along his bicep.
“What’re you doing, sweetheart?”
“Nothin’, Jay. Just wanna be close to you.”
He hums, skeptical. You’re not usually so forward with initiating, especially after you’ve already had your fun that night.
You shift up onto your knees, climbing across him to sit on his lap.
He grabs your waist and you break away from your stream of kisses. You place your hands on his wrists, though barely able to wrap them halfway around, moving his hands off of you.
He looks at you funny, unsure of what exactly you’re going for here. You guide his hands down to the bed, pressing down on them lightly before returning your touch to the sides of his face.
You lean further into the kiss, forcing him to lay back on the bed.
He pushes himself up on his elbows and moves a hand up to find your body again. You move it back down by his side again, not halting your kiss this time.
He pulls back from the kiss and looks up at you, studying you.
“What are you playing at?”
You smile, shaking your head lightly, “Just wanna play.”
You start to roll your hips on him, making him groan. He starts to shift under you again and you nip a light bite on his neck that makes him still.
“Ah.” He clicks his tongue, “You wanna be in charge? Is that it?”
You pull back to meet his eyes and nod, your lack of vocalization not helping your mission. Still though, he’s not making any moves to take over.
“Think you can do it? It’s a big job, baby.”
You nod your head quickly. “I can, Jay.” You assert. “I will.”
He tilts his head at you, smiling. “Alright then, sweetheart. Go ahead.”
This feels like a trap. Maybe it is, but you’ll be damned if you’re not going to jump at the opportunity.
In any case, you lay your body fully on top of his and trail kisses across his collar, starting to leave bruises in your wake.
You take his wrists in your hands once again, this time moving them up to pin them beside his head. Now you know he’s just letting you play your game, if not just to see where it goes. Frankly, you’re surprised he’s let you go this far.
It’s a bit silly though, you have to imagine. You, holding down this massive man by his wrists, as if anything you did could do anything to stop him from moving if he wanted to.
You continue to nip at his neck, making sure to pay extra attention where you know he’s sensitive.
He makes a low sound in his throat, something that sounds close to a warning.
“It’s alright, baby. Don’t gotta be so tough all the time.”
The look he gives you lets you know he’s biting his tongue, giving you your chance to play man-in-charge. And you are just playing, really. You don’t know it yet, but he sure as hell does.
“I know it’s hard, but you can let me take care of you for a change, can’t you?”
You start to grind down on him, earning you a low exhale from him. But you want more.
You relax your grip on his wrists and rub soothing circles on his palm, nuzzling your face further into his neck.
It’s enough to make him relax under you, which for him, is a clear sign in him placing his trust in you here. It’s what you’ve been waiting for.
“That’s my boy.” You whisper, kissing his forehead. It’s half condescending, half true to what you know he likes. He loves it when you call him yours, it makes him shut right up and go all heart eyes on you.
You’re basically making out with the sweet spot under his jaw as you move your hips back and forth over his growing hard-on.
With the way his wrists keep flinching under your hand, you can tell that he’s having a hard time keeping his hands to himself. Usually when you ride him, he’s all over you, hands caressing your body everywhere he can reach.
If you weren’t testing the limits so much here, you’d reward him for listening to you so well, but you’re not about to bide your time under these circumstances.
You lift up your hips and pull down on his boxers, freeing his length. You don’t do anything yet though, simply ghosting your lips across his cheek.
“Baby…” he groans, but this one’s less of a warning, closer to a plea. Okay, we’re making progress.
You sink down onto him slowly, adjusting to his size proving to be no easy feat from this angle.
He closes his eyes and bites the inside of his cheek as you lower yourself, inch by inch.
Admittedly, this is a lot easier when he’s kissing you and touching you and exactly where you need him, whispering in your ear how good you’re doing for him, what a good girl you’re—no. No. You can do this on your own. You can do this for both of you.
He finally bottoms out and you’re able to begin moving your hips up and down, up and down.
And you try. You really do try, but he’s just so big and even when he’s helping you (which he pointedly is not), riding him is a difficult task.
On a good day it’ll take you out of commission for walking for at least the next few days. Now, you’re not even five minutes in and you can already tell it’s going to be at least a week. Maybe you should’ve waited to do this on a night when he hadn’t already made you come three times with his tongue.
You put your weight into holding his wrists down, hoping it’ll help you gain some traction. It doesn’t do much.
It’s a big job, he said. At the time, you may have been a little idealistic about how this was going to play out. Though, were you even the one who decided to ride him, or did he put you on top? You struggle to pull back the memory now, your body giving the choice of movement or thinking—you can’t have both. Movement it is.
It’s not long before your thighs start to burn and you have to battle just to hold yourself upright. The movement you are able to make just isn’t enough. You can’t go fast enough or take as much of him as you want on each bounce. Though at this point, ‘bounce’ is generous.
Jason’s smile just grows the whole time he watches you struggle, eyes roaming shamelessly up and down your body.
“Aw, poor thing. Can’t do it?” He asks, hand coming up to stroke small circles on your hip with his thumb. This time you don’t stop him—you can’t.
“Jay…” You whine, not ready to endure his teasing. Too bad.
“What, hm? What d’you want? You’re the one in charge sweetheart, do it yourself.”
How the hell did he manage to flip this around? Actually, if you were thinking more clearly right now you’d realize that you never really managed to reverse your original roles at all.
You move your hands to lay flat on top of his chest, a position that isn’t doing you any more favors than the last one.
You throw your head back in frustration, movements halting.
“Not so easy, huh?”
You pout down at him, brows furrowed. He smiles wider and sits up all the way, giving you a sweet kiss. Okay good, he’s going to be nice about this. You hope.
His hand comes up to comb the hair out of your face, forehead resting against yours.
“Tell me what I want to hear.” He whispers.
Oh. You don’t want to. Not after all that game you talked.
You shut your eyes. “Mm…”
“Can’t hear you, baby. Speak up.” He pinches your waist for emphasis.
What are the odds he ever lets you live this down if you give in? What are the odds of him letting you finish if you don’t say it?
Cost. Benefit. Cost. Benefit. Cost…benefit…
Fine.
“You’re in charge.” You mumble defeated, but still making sure to be clear enough that he won’t make you repeat it. Though that’s never a guarantee.
“Oh yeah?”
You open your eyes and meet his teasing gaze through a lowered brow, willing him to go easy on you.
“That’s alright, baby. I can take things over for you.” He says sweetly, kissing the side of your head before pulling out of you.
You gawk at the sudden emptiness in you and move to complain before he flips you on your back, head hitting the pillow with a light thud.
He takes hold of your wrists this time, raising them above your head, pinning them together with one hand.
He uses his other hand to caress up your side, up to the underside of your breast, brushing his thumb back and forth.
“Thought you were my good girl, hm? What happened?”
You stare up at him, not quite able to formulate an answer and not quite sure if he wants an answer.
“Don’t wanna be my good girl anymore? That it?” He asks, brow furrowed with a light pout on his lips.
You shake your head fervently, you do, you really do. You are.
“No, I just—”
“Just wanted to play? Yeah, I remember.”
He lets his hand drift back down your side, dipping past your waist. His knuckles ghost over your clit, not kind enough to grant you any pressure. The teasing brush makes you whine and squirm.
“How ‘bout now, baby? You still wanna play games?”
His hand brushes past again, slower.
“Answer me.”
“No, I’m done. I’m done. Please, Jay…”
“Please, Jay…” he mimics, a small smile playing on his lips. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”
He positions himself at your core, sliding back into you tantalizingly slowly. With you as wet as you are, you know he’s not doing it to help you adjust so much as to torture you.
Once he sinks all the way in, he lets out a small groan and squeezes his eyes shut. He begins to move, the return of the sensation feeling like a saving grace.
He starts to pick up his pace, entering a rhythm that you couldn’t have dreamed of achieving when you were on top.
As he continues on, it doesn’t take him long to find that spot, meeting it with accuracy on every stroke.
You let out a broken moan, his hand once again grazing your clit back and forth in reward.
“That it? Right there, baby?” He knows damn well he’s hitting the right spot, he could draw a fucking map at this point.
“Y—yes, Jay. Please, please. Just let me—”
“I know I don’t hear you trying to give orders.” He says, hand snapping away from where you need it.
“No, I—I’m just…please.” You sound honest to God desperate and it’s enough to push his already light resolve to its end.
“I know, baby. I’m sorry. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry.”
His fingers finally touch your clit with intention and that alone is enough to leave you gasping.
He draws circles over your clit just exceptionally, making your breathing speed up and your legs shake in anticipation.
You look up at him, eyes pleading. “Please?” You whisper, breathless.
He squeezes your wrists, gaze still focused on where your bodies meet. “Yeah, baby. Yeah. Go ahead.”
And it sure is a good thing he said it when he did because you were over the edge like that.
His eyes snap back up to your face the second you start to tighten around him. “There she is.” He mumbles, eyes scanning your features carefully. “That’s my girl.”
His head drops into your neck, releasing your wrists above your head in favor of holding your hand. “Oh, fuck,” he groans, grip tightening as he comes right after you.
Your free hand comes down to caress the back of his head as he finishes, short hair fluttering between your fingers.
You lay beneath him, chests heaving, bodies both lax.
“Was—was I…” you trail off, still thoroughly out of breath.
He kisses your neck once and nuzzles his face in further. “Yeah, sweetheart. You were such a good girl for me. So good.”
You close your eyes and smile, because fuck does that feel good.
#jason todd loves his gf#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#batfam fanfic#batfam fanfiction#batfam imagine#batfam x reader#batfam x you#red hood x you#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood fanfic#red hood fanfiction#dc#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc x you#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd/you#red hood smut#jason todd smut
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how would konig react to reader getting jealous?? ps i love ur writing!!
jealousy is könig’s weakness. in his twisted brain, it’s one of the upmost proofs of devotion. you wouldn’t be this worked up if you didn’t truly care about him, and that thought makes his heart swell in his chest and his dick fill in his pants.
watching you pout and refuse to talk to him after he was oblivious to some civilian flirting with him— grazing her hand along his bicep, batting her eyelashes up at him— he would be so confused at first. he thought she was just thanking him for his service, why are you dragging him away now? it all clicks for him when you mutter “more like begging you to touch her cervix” and he can’t help but smile to himself. so you fear losing him just as much as he does you? (that may be a stretch, but he’ll choose to believe it.)
he loves the role reversal, it’s about time you get a taste of how he feels about you on a daily basis. the head rush it gives him to see you care about him so much is addicting. he’ll start purposefully putting himself in position to be flirted with, which is getting increasingly easier when he’s clad in all his military gear— unfortunately for you, women love freakishly tall masked men nowadays. the way you wrap yourself around him, making your presence known and staking your claim on him for everyone to see, makes him want to give you everything. he surrenders so easily, letting you drag him home and forgetting all about the faceless person he used to make you upset. you’re just so adorable and possessive when you’re jealous, he can’t take it seriously. it always ends the same; him comforting you, swearing he’ll never leave, as you bounce yourself silly on his broad lap.
“���s my cock, right, köni? tell me it’s mine.”
“it’s yours, liebe. every inch.” his voice is wobbly and shaky with adoration, looking up at you like you hung the stars whilst you work yourself on his meaty, throbbing dick. gummy walls clenching him tightly, almost threatening. you’ll tell him no one could handle his fat cock expect for you, empty his heavy balls like you can, and he’ll go cross eyed, “die fraumeiner träume— fucking made for it. the only cunt i’ll ever need.”
it’s hard not to believe him when he goes all stupid like this, ready to pray to god just because the feeling of you can’t be explained by anything natural. you have nothing to worry about, schatz, can’t you see you’ve ruined everyone else for him?
#anon#könig call of duty#konig x you#könig x reader#konig cod#konig x reader#konig call of duty#konig smut#konig x y/n#könig smut#könig mw2#könig cod#könig#konig modern warfare#konig mw2#bella writes⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
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chris & matt s– positions and places.
-HEADCANONS.
Author's note: yes, fav positions in secs. Just because I can't get some images out of my head.
Warnings: smut, obviously. Juat filthy smut, smut, smut. Minors dni!
doggystyle.. he loves, loves, loves watching your ass bounce as he's pounding into you. He'd grab and squeeze it, smack it every now and then, letting you push back against him as he stays still, "come on, baby, move."
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C H R I S
reverse cowgirl.. again, he loves your ass. He loves watching you work for it while he stays still and speeds up only when he feels like you're going too slow. He'd grab a fistful of hair and push your head back while bucking his hips to thrust into you harder, "you like that, ma?"
table/counter sex.. Chris is the kind of guy that would take you anywhere, anytime. I feel like he'd just see you cooking and immediately just grab you, lifting you up to make you sit on the table. He'd eat you out first, sloppy and hungry and passionate, and then fuck you then and there, "you look and taste fucking delicious."
pool/beach sex.. as I said, he'd take you anywhere. He wouldn't be able to see you in bikini without touching you, "you can't do this to me, babe." He'd push you against the wall of the pool and push your bikini to the side, rubbing his clothed cock against you, making sure no one's really looking. Not that he cares.
head.. he loves giving, as much as receiving. But he absolutely fucking loses it when you, out of nowhere, get on your knees and suck him off. Like when he's doing work, or playing, and you're just on your knees, sucking him off, spitting on it, distracting him completely. He'd tease your nipples and pinch them to push you closer and take him in deeper, "that's it.. fuuuuck."
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M A T T
missionary.. Matt absolutely loves keeping eye contact while fucking you senseless. He'd want to see you losing it, to see your eyes roll to the back of your head, unable to have control over anything, "keep looking at me, pretty. Or I'll stop. And you don't want that, do you?"
cowgirl.. he'd sit up, back against the headboard so that he can see you better; he needs to see your tits bounce. He'd never let you do a thing – digging his long fingers into your hips, he'd keep you in place and fuck you mercilessly, "you're so pretty. Fuck."
against the wall.. he just loves wrapping his fingers around your neck while he's balls-deep inside of you, your legs wrapped around his slim waist, "take it, baby, take it". He'd press his forehead against yours and thrust into you deep, and hard.
car sex.. do I even have to say anything? He loves his car so much, but he loves pleasuring you more. While driving around, he'd order you take your panties off and spread your legs wide for him. He'd lick his fingers and touch you in such a delicate way, pushing his fingers inside of you gently while keeping his eyes on the road. Then, he'd stop the car somewhere private, not able to control himself, and push his pants down, making you straddle his lap and sit on his cock with his fingers still wrapped around the steering wheel, "that's my girl.."
shower sex.. that's the only time he'd have you facing the other way. He'd push you against the glass of the shower, if anyone were to see you, they'd see your tits and cheek pressed against it. His fingers would wrap themselves around your neck and push your head back as he pounds into you. He'd make you arch your back so much that even in that position, he'd still see you, even upside down, "gonna cum all over me, doll?"
Chat. I am not okay.
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#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nicolas sturniolo#fanfic#sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo fluff#fanfiction#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#christooher owen sturniolo#christopher owen sturniolo#christopher sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matty#matthew sturniolo smut#christopher sturniolo smut#sturniolo smut#smut#sexpositions#chris sturniolo headcanon#headcanon#matt sturniolo headcanon#matt sturniolo x you#x you
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