#anything that is safe for hate filled bigots is not a thing you should want to be a part of

[vangbelsing]

Ever since Veilguard was announced, there's been an absolute tidal wave of hate ranging from vitriol for the art style, gameplay changes and overall feel/aesthetic of the game, to outright racism, homophobia and transphobia, as well as attacks on the devs and fans trying to enjoy the game. So I want to just put this out there.

It is valid to:

Not enjoy the art style, as no one should dictate what your aesthetic preference is

Prefer the systems/gameplay of previous DA games

Prefer to wait until the game is out before you buy into the hype

Distrust EA/Bioware due to its past and its current actions/situation

Criticize what you dislike about the game in your own posts

Simply decide that this game isn't for you

I encourage you to:

Speak out against the mass layoffs and often inhumane practices by EA and to elevate the voices of those impacted by them

Speak out against and bring attention to the problematic or harmful things EA/Bioware has/will engage(d) in, do, say, etc, willingly or unknowingly, in the future

Criticize EA, Bioware, the devs/team and Dragon Age itself about the things on which they can improve, as it is not too much to ask for someone/something to do better

Spread awareness of what EA/Bioware have done, what they are doing, and what they do in the future. Let people know the history of these companies so they can make informed decisions and to improve the working conditions for the teams at these studios

What you shouldn't do:

Attack or harass people who are excited for and showing support for the game.

Comment under the posts of fans or official trailers/interviews with the sole intention of hating on the game to ruin the excitement or fun for others. If you don't like it, don't interact with it.

Spread misinformation about the game in an attempt to negatively impact it

What is absolutely unacceptable:

Being a hateful fucking bigot

To all the hateful fucking bigots out there:

I keep seeing a repeat of comments like: "this isn't my Dragon Age!" "Dragon Age is too gay!" "Dragon Age has too many black/Asian, literally any person who isn't a cishet white male or a conventionally attractive straight white woman!" And you know what? You're absolutely correct! Dragon Age is gay! Dragon Age is a space where people of all colors, races, cultures, ethnicities, identities, sexualities, orientations, and all walks of life exist, both in world and in its fan base!

And as for this being "not your Dragon Age", again, you are absolutely correct! This isn't your Dragon Age, because Dragon Age isn't for you. It never has been, and it certainly isn't now. The co-creator is a gay man, the devs have always included queer people and poc, and despite its many flaws and the numerous ways in which it has let down the people belonging to those groups, it is still a space for them, which are created in part by people like them.

Dragon Age will always be inclusive, as it has been from the very first game that you love acting like you care about so much. There are gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, black, Asian, and all other kinds of people both in and behind these games! If you can't handle that, then fine! We don't want you anyway!

To the people who actually care about this series and who want this game and team to succeed:

I encourage all of you to let your voices be heard by the devs. Tell them exactly how you feel! Let them know what landed, what made you feel seen, what resonates, what you think needs work, where they stepped out of line; all of it! More than anything, there are real people behind this game, and they've poured years of their hearts, souls, time and talent into this piece, and it seems a lot of them genuinely care for their fans and this game and want to deliver the best game they can to us! And those people matter! They deserve a fair chance to see their work pay off without having to be negatively impacted by people who just want to spread hate and see others fail.

No one is above criticism, no matter how good their intention of how pure their desires are, so when they misstep, speak out! But while we should be sure to let the devs know how much this game means to us and how much what they do matters, let's also push for the fair treatment of everyone who was unfairly laid off or mistreated by EA/Bioware and who are still fighting for their due compensation for their hard work. Let's advocate for them in the months leading up to DA:TVs launch and the months after. And let the devs know how important it is to have those people's names in the credits!!!

And most importantly... Please be kind to and look out for one another!! There's so much going on in the world right now, and there is so much hatred being spread against minority groups, and we need to be compassionate to each other! Let's allow the game to be a thing that brings us together and gives us something to escape into and enjoy!

In closing:

Hate the game or love it, if you are transphobic, racist, homophobic, antisemitic, misogynistic, or any other kind of prejudiced bigot, THIS GAME IS NO PLACE FOR YOU!! NEVER WAS, NEVER WILL BE!!!!

Thanks for your time! Fuck TERFs and racists and all the other bigots!

[chaoticfandomgirly]

The Stupidity of hating on fanon, featuring Jegulus.

Alright folks,

Welcome to another one of my rants because I found out that there are jegulus haters on tumblr. I have not encountered one but I saw it on my mutuals' page and I had some words (a lot of words) to say.

So let's get started...

One of the main complaints is saying that 'James would never fall for Regulus.' Umm...child, do you know what fanfic is? What fanon is? If not let me spell it out for you- it's made up. Something that is not canon and created by fans by employing their imaginations. We are not saying that James would fall for Regulus in canon at all, so please don't come barging in with your opinions. So yes, we don't really care about canon anyways.

Secondly, the argument of 'Regulus being a terrible person and pureblood supremacist' is really weak. Alright, he was a pureblood supremacist and was involved in terrible things. But do you know what else he was? He was just a 17 year old boy who grew up in an abusive household. A boy who had lost his big brother and had to learn survival at an age too young. He grew up before his time and was so traumatized that he always wanted to please his parents and do as they wish. Regulus was just another victim and he also was the one who ended up being the catalyst to Voldemort's defeat. As someone who studies psychology, viewing a person on the surface is the biggest sign of ignorance and it really shows. As for 'being terrible' then let's not forget that canon James wasn't all sunshine and rainbows either. He improved ofc, but he was still an asshole when he was young. Also, we really don't have enough background on canon Regulus to place him in one box. I love that some people want to believe him as good and fill in the blanks by writing something redeeming.

Then comes the 'it's a misogynistic ship'. Now, I won't argue it fully because I do think there are some people out there who don't like Jily bc they hate Lily. But, from what I've seen majority shippers ship both of them interchangeably or in a polyarmorous sense too. In fact, most jegulus shippers are also Marylily and pandalily shippers too. I really can't see anything misogynistic in it. I've actually read some great fics where Lily is a strong independent woman who is fierce and an overall queen.

And, if the 'canon' of it bothers you too much, then you should check out early Jegulus fics like Choices where nothing is sugar-coated. James still ends up with Lily. But in the end, it leaves you thinking and rooting for them anyways. The more new Jegulus fics are on a fluffier side but that fluff came in after bearing the pain of the full of angst fics like Choices.

Another thing should be noted is that these characters are also a big part of queer community. I've seen so many fans exploring themselves through these characters. Like Regulus as Trans is becoming a popular headcanon and it shows that through creative expression people are finding a safe place to explore. And if you're a bigot then...that is frankly a you problem. One I, or jegulus fans, don't want any part of.

In the end, my motive is not to convince you of shipping these two. It clearly started as a crackship, one even I stumbled upon accidentally. But the fandom has made it into something really beautiful and I think instead of spreading hate we should accept it. There are more problematic pairings to be concerned about, trust me. This one is the least of them all.

Thank you for listening to my rant. And if you have anything negative to say, kindly don't because it would just be proof of your own stupidness. There is no point you can argue about with anything substantial. Because in the end it's fanon. Let fans do what they want and if you don't like it then ignore. No one is forcing it on you.

@corwnvus I hope this covers it all. Also, I love your art. Did I mention that, already?

[euniexenoblade]

ive been seeing a lot of people say they’re going to leave this website, etc. im rly curious what you think of this? should we? are there better solutions rather than just leaving? asking in good faith, take care<3

I don't think tumblr's going to get better without the entire hierarchy of it being changed. But, I doubt that'll happen. Even if Matt faced consequences for his actions, the next person that'd fill in wouldn't be different enough to matter, tumblr has grown to a point that only businesses are gonna be able to buy it and none of them are gonna improve the state of things.

But, I've been here since like, 2009? It has never been welcoming to trans people. I'd argue it's a bit better now but it has never been welcoming to trans people or the lgbt at large. The reason we flocked here was because we built communities that looked out for each other and often times we go under the radar. I'd argue the transmisogyny and the targeted harassment are exactly the same as they were in 2015, it's just who's doing harassment campaigns have changed. Instead of truscum we got transandrophobia "truthers" spreading disdain, we still got terfs galore, anti-sjws stopped trying to rebrand and now are just admittingto to being nazis. The differences to me are A) we have the language to talk about crypto terfs established now. back in the day the dialog about it wasn't as good so trying to talk about it would result in a lot of drama (often times ending with a trans women being spammed with hate until she deleted) B) more trans people are aware that call out culture is a crock of shit that doesn't keep anyone safe, is often utilized by abusers trying to malign their victims more, and utilized by bigots and conservatives to try and oust trans women from their communities C) our communities are lot more robust. That outrage Matt felt? That wouldn't have happened back then.

I'm not leaving here but I do think I am going to sorta start to dip into other things more. Cohost is fun and there's people I like who are exclusively on Twitter. I've sat on a Blue Sky account for weeks but never did anything with it. Not to mention I own a url so I should make it a thing people can use.

Go anywhere you want, but also trans people aren't going to just disappear from tumblr. They've been trying to run us off of here for yearsssss, it didn't work then and it won't now.

[blurrymango]

Zionist movie.

I open Tumblr and this is the first thing I see.

*

*

The Zionist movie? What. Is Captain America turning to the camera and saying "give the Jews their ancestral homeland back they deserve a place to live that isn't absolutely filled with antisemitism like every other country in the world is" is that how the movie is Zionist??? Is he just spouting Zionist propaganda like "Jewish people are human beings and no matter how much you hate the Israeli government you shouldn't hate the Israeli people"? Or "Jews are an ethno religious group and they aren't white, they're literally native to the middle east"? Or like maybe "Palestine is suffering and supporting Hamas makes things worse for the Palestinians because Hamas is legitimately actually evil and they've explicitly stated that they want to kill all Jews please for the love of ffucking god support Palestine but not Hamas". "Zionism is not the Jewish version of Nazism you goddamn antisemitic cunt".

Most Zionists I've seen, on here at least, care more about Palestinians than anyone who supports Hamas does.

Most of the world hates Jews, so until the majority of places stop being antisemitic, the only safe place for Jewish is Israel, unfortunately. I'm not a Zionist, I don't think ancestral homelands should matter, but I understand that, from what I've seen, most Zionists are Jews who want to be safe. Most Zionists I've seen on here at least support a two state solution.

This post went off track. I want people to stop supporting Hamas, and start supporting Palestine instead, and stop being antisemitic please. Don't spout antisemitic shit, don't justify Hamas's actions. You don't have to support Israel, you shouldn't support the Israeli government, but don't demonize the Israeli people please.

Palestine is suffering, being antisemitic won't solve anything. Harassing random Jewish people online won't help Palestine. Supporting Hamas will actively harm Palestinians and Jewish people. Being a bigot to Palestinians or Jewish people will only make things worse. You need to be kind to people, please, especially those who are suffering.

Disclaimer- I'm a white American and chances are you're probably also a white American, neither of us are truly able to understand the suffering that Palestinians or Jews go through, so don't be a jackass on this post.

[firespirited]

Here's how I use shinigami eyes (not saying you have to do it this way)

I see a post that’s got a red name and click which leads straight to posts that have been heavily through the terfosphere, usually marked 'terfs do touch' 'rf gc do interact' and some of my muted tags. I open all the non red urls who reblogged from red urls, scroll to their main, ignore any intro and read one page of their blog. If they're cruel to a trans person within 10 posts they get marked. That's the low bar to pass. Ten posts without obsessing. Read more for length and word blergh.

The point of shinigami eyes is to mark transphobes not just radfems, it's just that radfems are bigoted 95% of the time, and a bunch that say they're not radfems/terfs have a post explaining that they don't align with the feminism part (anti choicers, women libertarians...). It's also important to keep going when there are no terfy indicators as there are a bunch of right wingers who also enjoy blogging about trans people as 'cringe content'.

It feels like doing something useful by not making trans folk have to see that vileness and I feel a strange responsibility as a brit and a feminist who started with the radical texts and knows them well.

I don't care who created the extension, it's useful and I can't exactly be picky from my slave and blood mineral computer chips on billionaire monopoly software.

There are things I'd very much like to discuss without it getting co-opted by bigots or turned into pile on fodder. It happens so fast and with such ferocious accusations that you have to be in a good head space and towards the start of the day so you can disable reblogs or delete a post if it gets into the wrong hands. Right now I'm marking about a dozen or more a week, it doesn't make you feel safe writing anything when you feel you have to check all reblogs on a post because a bunch won't be marked as haters before it's too late.

Word blergh ahead :

I want to be able to talk about what it means if scotland and wales leave the UK for someone who has family in all, about our femicide epidemic, about the teachers having to learn to deprogram boys from manosphere ideology, about women in stem, prison abolition, how alienated I feel from gender performance, how I think Dylan Mulaney is the most annoying toxic positivity theatre kid turning transition into hashtag content I can't stand her she's not even mean just so confident in her ignorance, and can I rant about women enforcement of patriarchy while also running support networks within churches but always being on edge for what they will or won't refuse support about, girl bullying and teen girl pressure hurting deeper, trans folk helping me rediscover gender euphoria and also how I find rupauls drag race reductive and catty. How I'm still furious the covid vaccine wasn't tested on pregnant women and we don't have data about covid and womb damage/period disruption when given the kind of cells involved we really should be seriously looking into it. I want to talk about male violence or female labour exploitation with the understanding that we're talking about the social constructs that we're all tangled up in. I want to talk about ugliness, medical misogyny, all the adhd things my dad could get away with

and I can't without having to stick asterisks everywhere saying I don't believe in gender essentialism, i do believe in patriarchy and if this doesn't apply to you congrats on being one of the good ones there are good people and my experiences as a woman are not universal

and I hate transphobes so much for hijacking what should be basic human rights for their culture war of distraction when we have so so many problems to deal with and yet this issue is so important because it's breaking the sex binary and comphet down and they're so scared they're recycling the anti-gay talking points without even filling the serial numbers off! The disruption to ideas about patriarchy is worth the fight even if there weren't flesh and blood humans getting hurt (it's a strong motivator though ilu all my gnc and trans friends).

I get so tangled: I think sending death threats is wrong, i regularly call for the death of the pope and posted about stoning king charles yesterday. I have catholic friends. I'm problematic and enjoy problematic media. I'm conflicted when I see quotes from books that helped me understand why I was so miserable back then and why the world was so unfair so much remains true. Those books also left huge fragments that didn't fit and by all that is dear to me: working class and black womanists provided the missing pieces then trans and non binary folk added more and then the disability activists who'd read all that and had more nuances to add, my heart.

I have so much I've held inside because of people who can't even be bothered with Dworkin's evolving philosophy of gender or that maybe we might have learned a few things since the Sixties because they take individuals like me and throw them to mobs and I really don't want to retraumatize my trans friends either. Aaaaargh.

It's complicated. I'd rather have to censor 'kill' and have hate speech enforcement to be able to speak openly about feminism or gender in general without the bullies swarming. I know for many that's just talking about any politics and it's silly to complain when I'm not even trans just a 'traitor' to these women but Tumblr had been safer, it's certainly a place where I haven't been attacked as much for being socialist. The mobs on twitter were frightening in scope, the ones on tumblr accused me of things that felt horribly personal. I feel like a big coward for not wanting to deal with fallout so I haven't shared some of the amazing feminist reading and learning I've been doing the past few years.

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

May I ask what parts of radical feminism you disagree with? (I'm honestly just wanting to hear your opinion, I'm asking in good faith)

I got an ask similar to this, but I deleted it on accident 😅

Okay, I would like to say that I know very little about radical feminism outside of how it's been expressed by others. And saying "fundamental" may have been a misuse of the word. With that in mind, though, I would like to say that some of the things I've seen have left a bad taste in my mouth.

It can feel like radfems, in their attempt to offer women the kindness they've been denied all their lives, can often overlook the fact that some women genuinely are terrible people who don't deserve the degree of coddling offered to them. It can feel like radfems often give too much benefit of the doubt to genuinely hateful and bigoted women.

For instance:

If a woman calls her daughter a bitch then I don't think it's appropriate to be like "oh, you poor thing. Look at what patriarchy has done to you. You're the real victim here."

Are you seriously going to look at her daughter and say "yea, your mom called you an ugly bitch throughout your childhood but it's just patriarchy making her act like that!! Don't be too hard on her! Even though she did immense damage to your self-esteem, think about her feelings and the stuff she must've internalized growing up!"

That's genuinely so fucked up. I'm a firm believer in the idea that being abused doesn't give you the right to abuse someone else. The way radfeminism oftentimes seems to coddle abusive women and explain away their terrible behavior as patriarchy is genuinely nauseating and off-putting. I can't even begin to explain how it's literally no comfort to a daughter to learn that patriarchy made her mother call her an ugly bitch while she was growing up.

Furthermore, I keep posing this question, but I'll ask it again: if women's separatism were to become a real thing, how would every single women feel safe in a woman's land? Would a woman feel comfortable living down the street from her female abuser? Like, women's land is supposed to feel safe for all women to go to, right? If they don't want to deal with men, they can just come here, right? But there in lies the problem. If every woman is safe to go there, then not every woman is safe to go there. You think I want to be around the women who have been homophobic and racist towards me? You think I would feel safe there or like it's an escape? An escape from male violence, maybe. But it wasn't a male who asked me, with disgust, if I was gay. It wasn't a male who randomly called me "nigga" out of the blue. It wasn't a male who gave me the worst homophobic experience of my entire life.

Like, I just genuinely feel like a place dedicated to female separatism wouldn't be the haven it's made out to be. Even if you were to create a rule for no racist, homophobic, or bigoted women to enter women's land, that still kind of goes against the promise that all women would belong there.

Moving on to something else:

Homophobic TIF's.

The way in which radfems coddle homophobic TIF's is disgusting. Radfems will genuinely go IN on a homophobic TIM. They'll tear him to shreds and feel no remorse. However, let a gay man dare say something negative about a TIF and his notes are filled with people tearing him to pieces. Homophobia is homophobia. Why do you coddle homophobic women? Like, those TIF's hate lesbians, too? There's no reason why a homophobic TIF should be shown more kindness than a homophobic TIM.

Tell me what part of patriarchy makes women watch so much gay porn that they convince themselves to not only fetishize gay men, but that they ARE gay men?

All of this to say, I feel like radfeminism can often ignore, coddle, and excuse genuinely abusive and bigoted women.

I hope I don't sound too mean. In truth, I don't mind if people want to come and refute what I've said. I don't mind hearing differing opinions. I don't despise radfems or anything of the likes. These are just some things that have concerned me and left me scowling is all.

[dmitri-smerdyakov]

Okay, I have got to say something. I wrote a more polite post when this TERF nonsense started last year, but she doesn’t deserve polite - we are past that point now.

🖕🏻JK Rowling can fuck right off 🖕🏻

No. NO. She does NOT speak for us as a fandom or for women everywhere. She is a vile person full of hatred for an already marginalised group, who has thrown so many people under a bus to try to prove her points - and now she is tainting the fandom to try to make herself look better, trying to convince herself that she’s right. 90% of our fandom does NOT believe in her spewed hateful bullshit, 90% of us do NOT believe in the cult that is the gender critical movement - for her to believe otherwise is frankly laughable and pathetic. If anything, 90% of the fandom are ashamed to be associated with her or anything she does, and would simply love her to vanish off the face of the earth.

There is no other way to say it: she is the reason Fantastic Beasts could end up cancelled after the third film and the reason why so many people do not want to continue loving Harry Potter. People are already going to boycott the third film because of her, and I honest to god do not blame them in the slightest.

For the past year, I have been saying that we should separate the art - Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts - from the “artist” (which she is not, her writing is actually very poor - the ideas are relatively good, but the way she writes them are terrible). However, this can only go so far before we have to decide that no, that’s not good enough anymore. Every time we write fanfiction, draw fanart, buy merchandise, post videos, watch the films, read the books, even just TALK about Potter/Beasts - we are supporting her. She benefits from all of it because it keeps her work alive, which in turn keeps all of the problematic bigotry in her books alive too. We are enabling JKR and her TERF views, we are making her feel like she’s validated.

This is not easy for me to write. I do not want to abandon the series that kept me alive during my adolescence and early adulthood, the series that I still love. I do not want to see Fantastic Beast flop and cancelled, I very much want to see the full five films. I want to support the cast and crew who have publicly denounced JKR and her bullshit, like Eddie and Katherine. But me loving a film franchise is not as important as trans people being accepted and safe. My love for Fantastic Beasts is not as important as making sure that JKR knows she’s full of shit, and that most decent people hate what she’s shown herself to be.

She is the reason I am ashamed to be a Potterhead. She is the reason I am ashamed to love Fantastic Beasts, Newtina, Newt, Tina, etc. I cannot stand her or what she is doing to our fandom.

As of yet, I honestly do not know what I will do regarding a) the remaining Beasts films, b) my tattoos or c) the merchandise I already own that I spent good money on. Abandoning one of my special interests is not easy for me due to my autism, and the thought of throwing away or abandoning the things that brought me comfort make me feel sick with anxiety and heartache. It literally makes me want to cry because right now my options seem to be restricted to 1) continue supporting Beasts and therefore support someone who is a vile, inexcuseable, hate-filled bigot, or 2) abandoning Beasts/Potter even though it will mean upsetting myself to an unimaginable degree.

I honestly don’t care anymore about potentially losing followers who may be sticking around my blog for some reason: if you believe in anything this horrible excuse of a woman says, if you support her and her bigotry, unfollow me right fucking now.

As I said, I haven’t decided how or if I can continue to support the next Beasts film or the franchise as a whole (including Potter) just yet. I need to think and wait and not let my anger make me do something I’ll later regret (like throwing out items that have special meaning and bring comfort to me). I will continue the Newtina fanfics I’ve been writing for now, only because of my love for the characters and what the actors have done with them - and because I know there are people who‘ve been reading and supporting them both here and on my Beasts Instagram.

But I think I’ve made my position clear here: anyone trying to argue with me or claiming that she’s “defending women’s rights” will just be blocked immediately.

[imkylotrash]

Feels Like Love

Pairing: Hardin Scott x reader

Request: Can you write something about Hardin Scott falling in love with a black girl at college? @tahanajones​

A/N I’m so sorry for the wait but I hope you love it and that I’ve portrayed it properly. Please let me know if you want anything changed. 🧡

You don’t know what made you say yes to a date with Hardin Scott but here you are on a Friday night getting ready to go to a restaurant with him. For a moment you wonder how to style your hair but in the end you decide to keep it natural. Your mom has always been very vocal about how gorgeous you look with your natural hair and it’s given you a confidence that people can’t take away from you now. You slip on a red dress and some jewelries to complete the look. As you inspect your reflection in the mirror, you feel the nerves slowly fade away. If that boy doesn’t consider you a catch, then that’s on him. 

The doorbell rings and you quickly grab your purse and a jacket. As you open the door, the first thing you notice is his cologne. Something about boys who smell nice gives you butterflies in the stomach. He’s wearing his usual attire, meaning a black shirt and black skinny jeans. He looks like the perfect bad boy and not for the first time tonight you wonder what you’ve gotten yourself into. 

“Ready to go?” he asks obviously on his best behaviour. 

“Yeah. Where are we going?” you ask following him to his car. It’s the kind of car your dad always warned you not to get into but something about Hardin just makes you feel safe. So you don’t think twice about it when you settle down in the passenger seat. 

“We are actually going to my favourite restaurant. I figured it would be sort of cute. Even though I don’t normally do cute,” he laughs and in turn making you laugh. 

“So how come you decided to go for cute then?” At this he squirms a little in his seat before quietly saying: “I just learned cute went a long way.” There’s clearly a story there, but you decide not to push it. You don’t know him well enough yet to know how much you can ask. 

“How far to the restaurant?” you ask aiming for a slightly less heavy topic. It seems to make the conversation flow easier. And you’re actually having a good time right up until reaching the restaurant. Everyone stares as you’re lead to your table. You see the young couple with the baby ask for the check as soon as you sit down instantly making you feel horrible. It’s been so long since you’ve been on a date that you’d almost forgotten the stares. The uncomfortable feeling white people felt when they saw a white boy with a black girl. Something completely normal but still stuck out to some white people. It felt ridiculous that this would even be an issue in 2020 but this moment right here confirmed that the subtle everyday racism still very much lived on. It’s the waiter ignoring you that’s the last drop making you go quiet. Of course, Hardin notices and asks but you feel hesitant to tell him. You hate the fact that it even has to be a conversation. 

“People are staring because you’re white and I’m black.” There’s the harsh truth that makes you want to ball your eyes out. 

“Is that what this is about?” He’s angry. He’s furious and it warms your heart that he’d get so riled up on your behalf. 

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Is that why the waitress is being so rude to you too?” He looks like he might hit someone. 

“I would assume so,” you reply trying to sound neutral. Immediately after Hardin asks for the check and then he’s walking you out to the car. Anger dominates his features. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

“No of course not! I’m mad at them. They are ignorant and bigoted and assholes. And right now I’m struggling to not go back in there and give them a piece of my mind.” He turns to you and covers his face with his hands. 

“My therapist tells me I have anger issues but I would like to argue that I’m justified in this instance.” The words come out muffled but you hear him all the same. Slowly you remove his hands from his face and make eye contact. 

“Thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“For defending me.” 

“You shouldn’t have to say thank you for that. What happened in there shouldn’t have happened in the first place.” You kiss him. It’s a way to release some of his anger and a way to show appreciation for being a decent human being in a world where it’s way too easy to remain uneducated. The moment is over way too soon but you know there’ll be more kisses and gentle whisperings. You have a good feeling about this boy. 

--------------------------------------------------------------

Hardin’s POV

I knock on the door and wait for her to open the door. Her hair falls down over her shoulders and I have to sink a lump in my throat before I’m able to speak. 

“Ready to go?” I ask deciding to keep things neutral first. I know my reputation and after Tessa I don’t want to scare Y/N away. She’s the first girl to have peaked my interest since Tessa and I broke up. As she follows me to the car, I say a silent prayer that I’ll be able to be good tonight. Even though I’ve been seeing a therapist more regularly, I still struggle with my anger. When she asks where we’re going, I can’t help myself. 

“We are actually going to my favourite restaurant. I figured it would be sort of cute. Even though I don’t normally do cute.” Her laugh fills the car and for once I don’t hate the sound of people laughing. Her change of topic saves me from an uncomfortable conversation. I don’t want to bring up Tessa on the first date. It’s a closed chapter, but also a big lesson as to how women should be treated. And I have every intention of treating Y/N properly. 

“Here we are,” I say pulling into the parking lot. 

“This place looks gorgeous,” she says in awe making me want to kiss her right then and there. Instead I lead her into the restaurant to our table. At first I don’t notice it but as the night carries on, I feel eyes on me from all sides. An old couple whispering and gesturing to our table. The waiter not ever turning completely towards Y/N. It’s small things but I can just tell how she slowly retracts into a little shell and it makes me feel helpless that I don’t know what’s going on. 

“Y/N?” 

“Hmm?” She’s been chasing a piece of broccoli around on the plate with her fork for 10 minutes. 

“Is everything okay?” It’s eating me alive that this is happening. And it makes me want to throw something against the wall seeing her look upset. 

“It’s fine. But I really should really get going.” She looks around to catch the waiter’s attention but it’s a lost cause. She’s nowhere to be found. 

“Please tell me what’s going on?” I ask worried that I’ve done something wrong. Maybe it’s the tattoos and piercings that are setting people off. Though that doesn’t explain the waitress. 

“People are staring because you’re white and I’m black.” It sounds idiotic when she says it. Skin colour has changed the way these people treats another human being and it makes me sick. She confirms the waitress’ behaviour is caused by this fact as well and I’m ready to get the hell out of here. 

“Excuse me,” I say loudly catching the attention of the waiter. This time she comes over right away. 

“Do you need anything?” she asks clearly hoping that the flirting will lead to good tips. 

“Can we get the check?” As soon as I’ve paid, we’re walking out of there and it takes every ounce of strength to not go back in there and tear the place apart. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

“No of course not! I’m mad at them. They are ignorant and bigoted and assholes. And right now I’m struggling to not go back in there and give them a piece of my mind.” I hide my face in pure shame hoping she won’t think the worst of me. I’m trying to be less violent, but this has set me off. 

“My therapist tells me I have anger issues but I would like to argue that I’m justified in this instance.” 

“Thank you.” I look at her in disbelief. Did she seriously just thank me for the bare minimum? 

“You shouldn’t have to say thank you for that. What happened in there shouldn’t have happened in the first place.” When she kisses me, I realise there’s no going back. This is it for me. This gorgeous girl standing in front me who’s for some reason chosen to stay after seeing my true colours. I spend many more nights like this kissing her and feeling her heartbeat. I doesn’t take me all that long to realise that this feels like love. 

[positivityforlesbians]

(Not a positive post)

There’s really something to be said about how lesbians are currently vilified for saying the most simple things. For talking about our sexual orientation, our perspective as women and specifically homosexual ones. Yesterday I’ve been witnessing this lesbian who is very big in the butch-femme community here on tumblr being dragged in the mud for making a post about how she hit “peak trans”. I don’t know her, I don’t recall ever interacting with her blog or reblogging one of her posts but maybe I did, it’s not the point. She brought up her perspective on how gender politics is messing up with the lesbian community and at large also gay men and bi people, how it’s destroying the butch-femme culture she loves so much. I don’t know much about these blogs as I’m personally neither butch nor femme but as a lesbian of course it’s something I want to protect. ✨

It’s her point of view, she has been supporting gender activism for decades and now she doesn’t because she says she sees the homophobic sexist damages it causes. People can like or dislike what she said, everyone has their own opinions. Her post however is making her the target of so much harassment that it is difficult not to see what’s at play here. I checked : most of the hateful comments, threats of violence, insults and desire that she kills herself are made by bloggers who haven’t got the word “lesbian” in their bio. So you have bisexual and more vaguely “queer” people or even straight ones who are harassing this lesbian like a damn crowd in fury. Again I don’t know her, from what I see from her bio I probably disagree with her on many topics but that’s something common, we all disagree with many people and it’s okay, what’s relevant here is that she’s a lesbian and she’s attacked online.

When lesbophobes say horribly sexist homophobic sentences somehow all of it seems to not exist, to not matter, to not be worrying, but when lesbians are fed up with said blatant sexism and homophobia to the point of making a long post about it then it’s time to dunk on her. Formidable ! She doesn’t recognise the butch-femme community in what she sees on tumblr from blogs that pretend to be about it, I get that, I understand that, from having read some awful posts that you would have sworn were written about straight people, about straight sex, about violent men and their oh so docile women/objects (?). It’s because there are so many ppl who invade our spaces and fill it with their opposite-sex attraction, lesbians can and should talk about it if they want (we do). So anyway this was a longer post than expected but all this to say : lesbians deserve to be respected. This woman did not advocate for violence against anyone, did not express hateful views, did not do anything else than writing her opinion on what she sees as a problem for the community and a contradiction at large, yet was met with vitriol. 🧐 @persistentlyfem I’m sorry I’m talking about you at length here but you don’t deserve this hatred. Just know that there are safe spaces for lesbians and that we support any lesbian speaking her mind (you weren’t expressing any bigoted/hateful view), don’t feel awful because non-lesbians (and lesbians with so much internalised lesbophobia that they side against their own people) are attacking you. Solidarity. 💜💜 Xx

[askaceattorney]

These are letters regarding the situation that recently transpired. After this, we will no longer be answering any letters regarding politics. All of us agree that this blog needs to strictly stay out of politics. In truth, politics should never have been the center of this blog. After this, any letter regarding politics or the situation will be deleted.

This is a blog that focuses on answering letters to Ace Attorney canon characters. It does not discriminate anyone or any mod based on race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, politics, etc. and such actions are not tolerated. If you believe one of our mods is discriminating for whatever reason, show solid evidence and we will handle this privately. A support for a former or current president of a country is not proof of discrimination and neither are political memes posted on a personal account.

(More Politics Ahead)

Dear rogertheegg,

Co-Mod: Nope. Everyone’s welcome here, regardless of political leanings.  I’m afraid I’m as clueless as you are about what exactly happened with the two former Mods (they didn’t even say anything to me about it), but it’s all water under the bridge as far as I’m concerned.

Mod Edgeworth: Absolutely not! I have never tolerated political discrimination. You are allowed to believe whatever politics you want.

Dear kunaiman,

Co-Mod: High five.

Mod Edgeworth: Thank you very much for your support.

Dear Mistakes,

Mod Edgeworth: I’m not going to go into anything else regarding my politics, but I will state my reason for outing myself: I’m doing this for Co-Mod.  I do consider him a friend of sorts and I do not wish for him to have to suffer this blowback alone. So, if you want to state your grievances, go ahead.

Know this though, I am still the same mod you have met and have never hidden my character from any of you. My politics do not define my character and neither does Co-Mod’s politics define his character. The same goes for anyone else. I’m just someone that leans Conservative and voted for Trump. If that makes me a bad person, even if I do stand against any discrimination, then I will gladly accept it.

Co-Mod: So, here’s the truth about me, Donald Trump, the MAGA Committee, etc. (and this is from the horse’s mouth, so anyone who says otherwise is lying) -- I’ve never been a huge fan of the guy, but I supported the good things he did and wanted to do during his presidency -- creating jobs, draining the political swamp, promoting patriotism, and so on -- and for that, I feel no shame.  I also wished he could’ve kept his big mouth shut about a lot of things, but overall, I saw him as someone who stood up for people who’d been largely ignored before he came along -- namely, middle class Americans. If you see him and his presidency differently, I won’t hold anything against you for it, so I respectfully ask that you do the same for me.

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: Don’t worry, I know who you are. You maybe under anonymous, but when we receive your letter, it isn’t anonymous lol. What we do is place your letter in photoshop and get rid of all your identity. Thank you for your support and I agree.

This blog will continue, even if it’s under a very few of us. I will allow everyone to display their grievances in the comment section. They have just as much right as Co-Mod and I do.

If there’s anyone I wish for you to support, it’s Co-Mod. He’s the one being the most effected by all of this. I don’t believe politics should have been involved or that we should have to justify why we believe in our politics. Neither have to do with our love for Ace Attorney.

Dear I’m still surprised,

Mod Edgeworth: I’m guessing this is for Co-Mod, because it doesn’t seem like you’ve read my own defense. I literally stated that both Co-Mod and I support LGBT and that the letters deleted because of shipping had nothing to do with any political beliefs. Beyond what I stated in my defense (despite what Co-Mod states below), I won’t say anything more. Non of us have to justify why we support a former president. I have my reasons just like anyone else. It doesn’t make me a terrible person and I will forever stand for everyone’s rights to believe whatever politics they believe.

Co-Mod: It’s a shame I have to say this on an Ace Attorney blog of all places, but where is your proof that I or anyone on my side of the aisle takes any enjoyment in seeing anyone dead or oppressed, whether in a minority or otherwise?  I can only assume you’ve been listening to some skewed sources, or that there’s something huge I’m missing, because I’ve yet to see any right-wing groups reach that level of hatred.  (And if you know of any, please fill me in.  I mean that honestly.)

As for why I left same-sex attraction out of this blog, it’s simply because I see it as a divisive topic rather than a simply controversial one, (i.e. the death penalty, game piracy, etc.).  I’ve also proven several times that I’m not very good at addressing it without people getting rubbed the wrong way, so I decided to play it safe and not discuss it at all.  I’m happy to talk about it anywhere else, but a blog about Ace Attorney didn’t seem like the right place for it to me.  On top of that, there are plenty of blogs about peoples’ same-sex ships all over Tumblr, so why complain about this one?  If there’s a rule stating that Ace Attorney-themed Tumblr blogs are required to include those ships, I sure haven’t heard it.

I’ll admit this much -- like Phoenix, it’s something I can’t claim to understand, so maybe I still have some learning to do about it, but if I’m going to be accused of bigotry, I’d like to see some solid evidence of it.  Assumptions don’t count in my book.

Dear Dailystir,

Mod Edgeworth: Thank you. I’m not going to address anymore than I already have. I will not and refuse to mention anything else on my politics. Just like how you said, I am more at the center in the political world. I lean more Conservative, but I am Independent. I consider both Republicans and Democrats to be two different wings from the same bird.

I’m also glad you do not consider being a Trump supporter to be in the same basket as being a racist, bigot or any of that. These days, I can declare myself as a supporter of Andrew Jackson (I’m not btw) and not be against Natives, even though he was the reason for the mass genocide of thousands of Native Americans. I can openly support Martain Luther King, yet not be considered homophobic, even though he was against LGBT. I can consider myself a Bill Clinton supporter and not support raping women, even though that’s what he did in office. Yet, the moment I declare myself a Trump supporter, I’m automatically Anti LGBT, a bigot, a sexist, a racist and a phobe of some sort, because Trump supposedly is? What a world we live in! I can’t remember the last time supporting a political figure or celebrity made you a terrible person.

As for Mod Vera and Mod Maya, I still wish they could’ve said something to me or Co-Mod, if they truly felt uncomfortable. I’m still willing to talk to either of them and hear them out. I don’t blame them for doing what they did. I don’t know them or what life they live in. I have talked to someone, who had faced bigotry  and hate from Trump supporters in their area to the point of fear. I’ve even seen a Trump supporter bully an Anti Trump Supporter and I ended up reporting the bully, then calling them out for their behavior. I can say from experience that when you face real discrimination, it puts you in a state of fear to never express yourself or your identity. My family faced that and so did I. It’s the reason I’ve never revealed my race, gender or sexual orientation and can understand where Mod Maya and Mod Vera are coming from.

I think the real takeaway is to not judge anyone based on their politics, but also to not hate anyone who does. You will find bigotry on any side of the political spectrum from any group. To say there is none on any side is spouting ignorance.

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: It is sad, though even if I do understand where Mod Vera and Mod Maya are coming from, I still can’t justify them not talking to either of us first. They never spoke to either of us and assumed the worst out of both of us. They never asked us anything or mentioned their concerns. I’m certain, even now, they’re still assuming things.

Had they mentioned their grievances, I would have been willing to talk with them and work things out, but we were never given that chance. It kinda hurts, because they said they understood when I told them I was staying out of politics and was willing to admit that I supported Trump and am an Independent Conservative. Then, they pull the rug from under us and claim we are against ethnic minorities and LGBT. That’s why I wish they could’ve said something.

I’m still willing to talk to either of them, but I doubt they’ll want to hear from me. No amount of context is going to change that. If it did, they would’ve talked to me about it before leaving.

-The Mods

P. S. Co-Mod: As ugly as this can of worms is, it’s been a fun practice in defending my beliefs and decisions.  Never underestimate that skill, everyone.

Mod Edgeworth: I still can’t believe this was brought out at all. I’m so sick of politics!

[stitchieau-the-actual-one]

Fuck what or where can I vent about this...

WARNING: IF YOU DON’T LIKE OTHER PEOPLES OPINIONS OR HAVING A THOUGHTFUL DISCUSSION, THEN THIS POST AIN’T FOR YOU! MOVE ON!

we good?

Are the Radicals gone?

yes?

good.

Honestly, America has gone to shit since Biden came into office. Actually no... It’s been shit since Obama’s administration. just a constant shit show, an awful comedy of errors.

I legit no longer feel safe or comfortable in my own country. 

I feel like I am not being heard as a US citizen, and how I vote or what I say no longer matters because some rich Democrat or rich Republican decided it just doesn’t. I feel like nothing I say or do matters anymore and that if I speak at all, people are either going to label me as a “Bigot.” or “TERF.” on one end or “Snowflake.” “SJW.” on the other. Or just flat out be told to “pick a side.” when both are shit. 

One is spray painted gold.

The other is covered in literal gold.

And I hate it, I hate every single second of it. the fact I have to constantly pick the lesser of two evils and that if I vote “wrong” or “Wrong think” people are just going to silence me. In a country of free speech. It’s ass backwards but its true. 

so here’s some stuff that may or may not ruffle your jimmies:

1) The Riots are and ALWAYS will be unwarranted and should DEFINITELY be stopped:

I feel like it should go without saying, but apparently this is a controversial statement... which it shouldn’t be. Look, you were taught as a kid that stealing, breaking, arson, assault, battery, destruction of private and public property is bad and unacceptable. So why do you think that suddenly changes when you’re an adult? You still got spanked and/or sent into timeout didn’t you? You got disciplined (not punished there IS a difference) for it right? Well as an adult, news flash! It’s the government instead of your parents who discipline your shitty behavior. (Also furthermore: ACAB just helps the rich since their the only people who can AFFORD personal protection, so Defunding police would just help criminals find victims and get away with a variety of crimes. Since there’s no longer any scruples to prevent this.)

Do I believe that the national guard and riot police should’ve been called in:

Yes.

Do I believe that EVERYONE involved was being shitty?

No.  

Do I believe that in cases like these Potentially fatal force is nessecary to control a growingly restless and violent crowd?

AbsoFUCKINlutely!

Do I believe children should be at large protests?

No.

Do I believe the entire situation could’ve been avoided if people ignored Social Media?

Fuck, Yes.

But sadly I and the rest of us do not live in a perfect vacuum of morale and decency, which brings me to another point.

Can we please stop the whole Marxism/Communism trend? Please?

Tldr of my opinion on this issue: If it doesn’t work the first time it won’t work for the *insert whatever number it is* time either. just let this fantasy die already PLEASE!

my actual explanation on how I feel about it:

 So Marxism is a type of Communism. Which if you didn’t know, Communism is the extreme of Socialism... and the Extreme/Radicalized version of literal ANYTHING! ISN’T GOOD! FULL STOP! 

I honestly feel like the current education system fails to teach kids the issue as to WHY Communism and more accurately Marxism just... doesn’t work. Like at all, not even a little bit. But in order to talk about Marxism and why it just fails in a spectacular way we need to take a Rrrrreally old piece of text into consideration.

Plato’s utopia.

Plato based his utopian world off of a fantasy, a morale void, a perfect vacuum that was the foundation to a squeaky clean world. Of rainbows, gumdrops and candy cane frogs. where everyone was a productive and virtuous citizen that strived to better mankind.

however it suffers a major flaw.

that’s just not how Humanity let alone how the universe works in general. We don’t live in that perfect virtuous vacuum Plato so desperately wanted us too. 

Humans are by default, infallible, selfish, self centered, bratty, judgmental pricks who no matter how virtuous have dark and destructive tendencies. Whether it’s aimed towards ones self or their community, it doesn’t matter. Humans are just naturally assholes and if you don’t believe me go sit down, pick any point in history and just listen. History is filled to the brim with examples of why we don’t live in a perfect vacuum of virtue. Even with the best of intentions people still make one another miserable whether they know it or not. People are greedy, selfish, self serving and otherwise shitty one way or another. so ultimately even if its intent if founded in the purest, kindest, sweetest whatever have yous. It won’t work. 

Similar to how Plato’s utopian society doesn’t work, neither does Marxism nor Communism. it realize to heavily on that Vacuum that just doesn’t exist.

if you don’t believe me, just ask anyone from a Communist/Marxist country or if you’d rather read instead. Go read “Animal Farm” and come back, its okay I’ll wait.   

On the other hand this absolutely DOES NOT mean I am okay or fine with Facism or really ANY radicalism in general. if it isn’t clear already. 

not that brings me to the most controversial opinion I have and one not a lot of people (yourselves included) won’t like me for (most likely)

My stance on BLM:

I.

Don’t

Like.

Supremacy.

Of.

ANY. 

Kind.

And you know what, that’s just how I feel. If your movement involves challenging something by doing more of the same thing by design but just a different coat of paint. then no. I don’t like your thoughts or your movement because that’s just toxic and literally detrimental to everyone around you. 

if you feel like the only way to fight “White supremacy” is with “Black supremacy” then expect me to think your a horrible (closeted) racist. The people who bang the table the loudest about an issue, are usually the people causing it in the first place. So how do we solve the issue of racism, the same way you deal with terrorists actually. By making fun of them and mocking their awful opinions. 

Everyone is special and one of a kind, and even considering the notion of it not and taking it seriously is beyond the scope of any sane logic one should have. Treating racism with even a monikerum, a snibblie of seriousness is only feeding into and perpetuating the said issue.

if you make fun of it, like how we make fun of outdated ideals like Sexism and Terrorism. laugh at the people who do toxic shit, they fucking HATE being mocked or laughed at since they honestly want you to be a misreble as they are. So don’t let them. Also education is good, ignorance bad.

anyways may write a part 2 later, my second dose of the covid shot (moderna) kicked in and I am suffering...

[crowleyellestair]

This feels like the smallest request ever but I have a mighty need for a Geralt (or Jaskier I'm not picky lol) x elf!reader. Maybe something angsty, she gets attacked or threatened and it gets to her more than usual. I dunno really, you're writing is absolutely amazing so I'm sure whatever you come up with will be perfect!

AN/// Sorry this took so long!! I have been swamped with work and life. As a college kid, you gotta make bank as much as possible. Here it is, angst, and I hope you enjoy <3 I hope it is perfect for you : ) I thank you from the bottom of my heart for those kind words : )

   The streets of Novigrad weren’t safe, but the two had decided to galivant through them anyways. It was late, though they thought themselves cautious by traveling through the main roads. Jaskier and Y/n had decided to go out, the She-elf needing to find an anniversary gift for her witcher.

Geralt had met her in his trip to Dol Blathanna, Y/n being his and the bard’s escort out once they had finished their first meeting with Filavandrel. It had been decades ago, the elf starting her travels with them once the witcher had made his way too close to Brokilon looking for work. Elves lead long lives, Geralt sharing a foot of that length with his own unnaturally long span. Elves find love within their own kind, as most others can’t match that time, or they are raised in racist or northern homes. The White Wolf had been dragged unconscious into her life, and sacrificed his neck to worm into her heart. She hadn’t been a Squirrel, but she was a fighter. She was an intermediate guard of the Silver Towers keeper, Filavandrel needing larger guard numbers despite his protests. Y/n had travelled to the forest on mission by the makeshift King to deliver a message to the Dryad Queen. She had recognized the emotion filled grunts, and now she was happy. Well, as happy as she could be in a world where people would spit on herself and her lover just because they exist.

A simple token was all she had wanted, now bigots had her and the bard pinned. Two men had taken each side of Jaskier, continuing their firm grip despite him trying to kick his legs out. He squirmed as much as he could, being a non-violent man putting him at a major disadvantage. Y/n was thrown into an alleyway, three men ducking in behind her. One had taken her satchel, Geralt’s gift and knife in there. One was laughably short for a human, but the other two seemed as though they frequented the fight clubs around the city. Luckily, she couldn’t see any gang indicator, but despite her training, she seemed at a disadvantage as well. The shorter man approached, the elf easily dispatching him.

She slid out of his charging path her hands ghosting the back of his head before placing pressure, and running his head into the wall with all of her strength. Jaskier cheered for her, seemingly just watching along with the two men that held him.

“You lot are messing with the wrong elf! Her ears aren’t the only things that are sharp!” Everyone in the alleyway seemed to stop and turn to look at the man, who rolled his eyes. “It’s not my best, I’ll admit. The point I was trying to show is that she is an amazing fighter, and one should be cautious when approaching.” His tone was smooth and eerie until his chopped end, when the man on his right twisted his arm back painfully to bend him, the only things in his field of vision being the dirt and his legs. The man leaned in, spitting as his voice dripped venom.

“Look a’ faerie here, traipsin’ with ‘e Elf! Lookin’ all high an’ mighty, tryina fit to their ‘higher standards of livin’.” His tone changed to mocking once he started to talk about the stereotype of elves finding themselves higher than man. While it is a true conspiracy, Y/n wasn’t one for superiority. Lives were lives, and she simply wanted to lead hers in peace. The two men on Y/n both started at the elf once more, and hands connected with forearms and faces. She was distracted for a moment when she heard the pained laugh of her good friend.

“Well, it’s certainly better than your company. Have you ever heard of this heavenly thing known as a bath?” The man to his left dropped his arm and kicked his legs out from under him, the other arm that was still being held behind his back stretching painfully as it was still held high. A tight groan left him, and her eyes snapped to him. Rage filled her as the two men started to kick at the bard. She saw red, running at the wall, using leverage to kick off and hit her assailants. It took a moment to take out both, but she soon found her way to the men beating her bard. Y/n quickly brought the first man’s head to her knee, his whole body going into shock as his nose went inward due to the force of the kneeing. The other made his way to her, though she ducked under his arms, kicking out his knee as he passed her. The elf quickly stood, bringing a forceful kick to his eye as he looked back. All the attackers laid on the ground groping one bleeding part or the other.

“Jaskier?! Jaskier, please, speak to me. Are you okay?” Pain and fear enveloped her as she kneeled next to him. Her hand went to brush his hair out of his face as he sat back on his feet. He panted and straightened out his jacket, giving her a tired wink.

“Of course. They got what they deserved and you, my feisty, elvish friend, were marvelous.” Y/n wanted to crack a smile, but guilt clawed at her. She knew how to deal with situations like this, easily making it out unscathed alone. Even with Geralt, things would be okay, knowing that there was light. Geralt was used to being under the microscope as well, but not Jaskier. While he has had a taste just like he had now, he didn’t deserve it. He was a ball of joy- a delight to be around. Simply through association, he was cast out by certain people of his own ilk. Y/n had simply wanted a second opinion on a gift, and in doing so, Jaskier twitched at every breath. It was certain he had bruised ribs, and she tried to help him up as slowly and as gently as possible. The elf grabbed his lute and their bags, throwing them over one shoulder as she threw his arm over her other, helping him back to the inn.

After she had gotten him settled in a hot bath and set up healing ointments, she let herself sit. Geralt had hovered, but didn’t make a sound. Jaskier had breathlessly retold the tale to him, making the elf out as more heroic than the situation had actually brought her to be. The air settled, though it was a tense aura this filled the space. Y/n plopped onto the bed, head in her hands as the witcher shifted in front of her. They sat that way for a couple of breaths before he bent down to one knee in front of her. Both of her hands dropped though one slowed to cover her mouth, her eyes closed.

“I am one thing, but they hurt Jaskier. Simply by walking with me they attacked him.” Geralt’s hand reached out, cupping the back of her knee, his thumb brushing circles over the cap. “I asked him to go. I should have known not to bring him in the open here.”

“You shouldn’t be tied to the inn, either.” His tone was soft, matching her whispers.

“I could have thought it through better! I could have brought cloaks or used glamour-.”

“You don’t need to hide anything.”

“Are you sure? Because not doing so got our friend hurt.” Geralt gave a sigh, matching her gaze when her eyes fluttered open. His other hand came up to her hair, brushing down until it landed at the back of her neck.

“People are cruel.” She simply raised a brow at his statement, but he leaned in. His eyes bore into hers, trying to get a point across. His tone was stern, yet light. “Jaskier is safe.”

“What about next time, Geralt?”

“I can’t tell the future. Though, I know he will be fine in the end. He always will be. We can’t get rid of him, but he knows the risks others bring to our lives. It’s not your fault most humans can’t live with us, and he isn’t going to leave because of them.” Y/n conceded, nodding at his words. She knew people would never stop hating her kind, Jaskier would never leave, and she would never not feel guilty despite being proud of who she is. Y/n would never not be proud, and she shouldn’t have to be painful. Most wouldn’t find the witcher’s words comforting, but she did. He understood completely, and his sympathy was real. She knew she wouldn’t have to go through this world alone this far north, having her lover and friend by her side. “We have each other, and we will protect the man.”

A small smile was shown to him, his statement affirming her thoughts. She wasn’t alone, Geralt always ready to be by her side, no matter what faced them. He brought her head down to his shoulder and help her tight, wishing her peace, and swearing to take down anyone that dared to take her smile away.

[nonbinarypoststhings]

Hi, irrelevant, I know, but do you remember anything about the highschool period of your life? I swear this part is the most stressful part of all my life, first I figure out my sexuality, then I move away from all my friends, then my gender, and as if it's not enough, add to that school and standardised tests and all the typical drama of being a teen. Oh and also don't forget that you're somehow supposed to make choices that will affect the rest of your life.How does anyone even survive it?

I do remember my high school life, and as I have reconnected with one of my old classmates recently, I've even talked a bit about it with her.

(Warning for Homophobia, transphobia, Sexism, Racism. Only the homophobia is like explicit, but the others are mentioned. Feel free to tell me if there is more warnings I should have. Also, long post)

High school is a tough period of time for everyone. Everyone is struggling with who they are, and what they want in life.

And add in the layer of being Lgbtq+ it becomes more frustrating.

I have a hard time translating the school things from my country to others, but I believe I graduated what would be translated into high school only this year, but I will still talk about my old school which I graduated from three years ago.

My class back then was not the best place for anyone who is lgbtq+. Me and the classmate I mentioned earlier connected well back then, and still do now, but the rest of them..? Not so much (I will also exclude two more people from that rest, who also is my friends now).

We were a class of 22 or 23, and yes I believe that most of us probably were at least somewhat accepting of the lgbtq+ community, we still only had, from what I know, 2 people who actually is in the community. Neither of us accepted it at the time, even though we both were proudly supportive of the community.

The thing is, she struggled with internalized shit about her identity and that delayed the realization.

I was genderfluid, and same thing there. I denied my own gender because, my friend was nonbinary, I couldn't also be, right? So internlized shit that delayed the realization.

Neither of us came to term with it until after we had left that school.

But I have a clear memory of us both Hating our class, we were a class of mainly guys, and every single guy was white (tbf, we had 1 person who wasn't white in our class all together).

We all know what white cis straight men are famous for...

Being bigots.

I don't know if anything has changed these past years, I haven't talked to them. But back then,

At least half of them were openly sexist, homophobic, transphobic etc.

I have a clear memory, that still Disgusts me so much to this day, of a sex ed class where the teacher, bless her, tried to be inclusive and ask us what we thought about gay couples. (Not how it should be done, but it was atleast a try in the right direction) The guys, who always ran the show (the ones I hated more than I think I can explain), said (TW for Homophobia):

"Gay guys are disgusting. Lesbians are hot".

I was so mad, my skin was crawling with disgust, still is when I think about it. To everyone who only accept lesbians because they think it's hot, you are disgusting. Lesbians are real people and they are not there to please some man. It's not for you, it's between the lesbian and her girlfriend and you should Stay Out Of It!

It wasn't a great place to be out in, so maybe it wasn't weird for us to ignore our own identity, to not want to be lgbtq+ in that space, because if we had been out back then even just to ourselves we would've had to face these people every day and therefore face these kind of things knowing that they are talking about us like this. Even though they didn't know it, they were and it was disgusting and terrible.

(I am not saying repress your gender or sexuality until you are older, you don't have to do that at all. Just be safe, and know that if people are mean or ignorant, they are wrong. You are valid and loved and we all support you so much. Find support, and don't let bigots tear you down. You are Valid and you are who You are no matter what others tell you)

I wanted out of that class, from those people, ever since I was like 6-7 years old. I hoped when we switched school when we were 12-13 that I would end up without a bunch of them. I did still have that same class, which really I had expected even if I hoped differently.

At 16 I got a change to move across the country, I took it. Actually, I kinda fought for it, and I was lucky enough to get it.

Moving away from all my friends were scary even if I had made an active choice to do so. I was terrified that I would be lonely, and that everyone at this new school would be terrible and I had to move back home and face that shame of failure (obvs, it wouldn't be actual failure to get out of a toxic place if it has been that, but I saw it as such)

When I came to this new school, everything was super different from back home.

My class was, to my standards, filled with so many different people with different cultures. All of them different from mine because I was from across the country, from a small town. And suddenly here I was in a gigantic city.

Anyway, this school taught me a lot, about everything. My class had openly Lgbtq+ people. My new friends were suddenly all queer or questioning, and I was in awe, because... It could be like this?

Also, everyone was super nice to me. Asking for my instagram on day 1 so we could be friends on there, showing me how to get back home in this new city when everything was so new to be, starting conversations and being just geniune good people. Like, huge shout out to those people.

I learned so much about oppression, and how to stand against it in this school, not because I myself was oppressed, I'm white and at the time I thought I was cishet.

No, I learned because our teachers wanted us to learn about all these things that I knew were real problems but I had only heard of in fiction, never in real life.

I got to a safe space, where racist teachers got fired asap. Where teachers were openly queer and my classmates could come out as trans to the class simply by stating their new name and pronouns. No questions asked. I got to a school where every introduction included name and pronouns. Where we were all shown that we can be who we are and that is okay. And where teachers apologized to students in a real and honest way when they did something wrong.

In this environment I got to figure out who I am. Yes it took two years, but I figured it out and felt safe enough to tell my new friends in weeks, because they accept everyone.

So, the question, how do you survive high school?

My answer is simply, you hold onto the belief that you will survive, and that things will get better. And you will get there.

You can try to find other lgbtq+ people in your school, I know some have groups you can join (mine didn't).

And with the tests, I guess I recommend you study, and remember that a bad grade isn't the end of the world. You are worth more than a grade.

I wish I could promise you that you could enter a school like mine, where everything certainly wasn't perfect (you never get rid of high school drama...), but it was still a very friendly space.

But I can promise you that you are not alone and things will be better. If it gets better in high school or if it gets better years later, I can't tell you. But it does get better. And you will survive.

Also, sorry for this extremely long answer, it was probably not what you're looking for. But I hope you find an answer in there eitherway.

Long story short, high school is a shitshow, but the show must go on.

Also, gender neutral bathrooms in schools should be standard (it has been in all schools I've gone to and no one is complaining here, not even the transphobes).

Also, the reason why I barely mention the girls in my old class, is simply because there were almost none and nothing any of them have said when I've been around has been relevant to this answer.

Tell me if you want things tagged or added to the warnings at top.

[audreycarlisle]

smoothing things over | winlisle

philip comes over to talk to audrey after the night she had. they talk a lot.

Philip still felt overwhelmingly guilty for everything that happened. He didn't even know how to fix it. He knew Leo had found the woman and had her escorted out but he felt like that should have been his responsibility. He just didn't know what to do except be there for Audrey. He'd stopped by one of her favorite cafes and picked up some of her favorite breakfast items before he went to her flat. He knocked on the door a little nervously, waiting for her to answer. He wanted to hug her so badly.

Audrey had started to feel better once she’d gotten home and cleaned up and changed, but there was still a slight, dull ache. She couldn’t explain it, exactly. She didn’t really believe that woman, but it had still hurt to hear those words. She was feeling better this morning, just a bit melancholy, if that. She was glad Philip was coming over. She felt bad that she’d just ran out on him. She opened the door when he knocked, smiling at him. “Hey. I’m glad you’re here,” she said honestly.

Philip smiled when she opened the door. "Hey, Rae," he greeted her quietly. He stepped inside and set the breakfast he'd brought down and then wrapped her in a tight hug. He held her to his chest, rubbing her back gently. "Are you sure you're alright? I'm so sorry for everything that happened. I know we talked it out last night but I need to say this now. You mean so much to me and the fact that someone attacked you just because of how close we are is horrifying to me."

Audrey couldn’t help but smile when he called her Rae. She was a bit surprised by the hug, but immediately hugged him back, returning the tight hug. She let her head rest on him for a moment, pulling back a bit when he spoke. “Yeah, I’m okay,” she said with a nod. She was already feeling better, just having him here. “I know. It’s horrifying to me, too. But I don’t want people like her to interfere with how close we are,” she insisted.

Philip held her a little tighter. He wished he could do more to protect her from the hate that the world wanted to give. He just wished there was a way to stop it from happening. He wanted to ask if she was sure again but he bit it back. He wanted her to be happy and safe. "I would never let anyone interfere with that. I don't care what people say, you're always going to be important to me. You're the most important," he corrected himself. "I'm just so sorry."

Audrey hugged him back, holding him as tight as he held her. Moments like this reminded her just why she was so in love with him. He was such a good person, he had such a good heart. She nodded in agreement. “Me neither. I’m trying to just not think about her,” she explained. She really couldn’t wrap her mind around how he could say that. Was she really the most important to him? That was crazy to her. “You’re important to me, too. You mean so much to me,” she promised. “You don’t have to apologize, Philip,” she said, giving him a soft smile.

Philip knew he should probably just drop the conversation if Audrey didn't even want to think of the woman. He just couldn't help that it was in the forefront of his mind. She'd been attacked because of him. That knowledge made him ache. He wanted to fix it. That was what he did. He pulled away from the hug with a small smile. "You mean so much to me too. I'm just so sorry someone approached you like that," he sighed. "Let's sit down and eat breakfast, shall we?" he suggested. He was so worried about her. He couldn't help it.

Audrey gave him a small smile, reaching out and rubbing his arm. “It’s okay, Philip. I’m okay. Last night as kind of rough, but I’m feeling a lot better,” she promised. She talked to her mum this morning, too, which also helped. She nodded a bit. “I’m starved, actually,” she said honestly. She hadn’t really eaten much last night, and she only had some fruit this morning, as she knew he was coming over with food. “I have tea ready, if you’d like some.”

Philip sighed a little but he nodded. "Okay. I'm glad you're alright, I truly am." And he meant it. If she said she was okay then he had to believe her. She wouldn't lie. He smiled when she said she was hungry and he picked up the bag of food again. "Well, perfect. I brought an absurd amount of food. Far too much for us to eat it all but I figured Nina would be around later to eat if she's not here this morning," he shrugged. "I'd love some tea, thank you, love."

Audrey smiled at him and nodded. “I know. I know you’d never wish anything bad on me,” she promised. She laughed a bit when he said he brought a lot of food. “That just means I have options,” she teased. “Oh, she should be back later. We’ll definitely save her some good stuff,” she said. She nodded, going to get two cups of tea. She brought the tea out on plates, setting now down in front of him and the other in front of her empty chair. “There you go,” she said with a smile.

Philip smiled right back at her. "Of course I wouldn't," he insisted softly. He delighted in the sound of her laugh. He just wanted her to be happy. It was all that mattered. "A ton of options. Have some of everything, if you'd like," he told her. He readied his tea the way he liked it and took a small sip. "I hope she's doing alright after all of that. Leo told me he'd spoken to her and found out who the woman was. I meant to check in on her but I figured he had it under control." He opened the containers of food, setting them out in a spread on the table.

Audrey already knew that well. “Ooh, maybe I will,” she said with a grin. She loved to eat things family style and have a bit of everything. If that was okay with him, it was okay with her. She got back up, realizing she forgot plates, and came back with them. “She is. She was upset, shaken a bit. The woman, well, just between the two of us, told her that Leo was set to be married soon and was just messing around with her, and everyone thought it was hilarious. If she hadn’t said all the other things she said, I think Nina would’ve believed it more,” she admitted. “I’m sure she’d still be happy if you checked in on her,” she said with a smile. “Oh, this all looks wonderful.”

Philip was perfectly fine with her trying some of everything. He'd gotten a variety just for that reason! And he'd picked things he knew that she would like. "Oh no. That's horrible," he frowned. He hadn't heard about that. "What was this lady's motive? She just wanted to hurt you two because we're close to you? How is that her business? She doesn't even know us! She snuck into the party!" He couldn't believe the entitlement of some people. "He's certainly not engaged. At least you both know that," he sighed. "I'll send her a text later and check in." He wondered if there was anything else the woman had told them that she wasn't saying. "Please, have whatever you want. That's why I bought it," he insisted.

Audrey shrugged a bit. She hesitated, trying to decide what she wanted to tell him. She didn’t really want to mention the bit about him never loving her. It sort of made her nervous to bring up. “I don’t know. I think she thinks we’re somehow going to spoil her precious royal family, and she doesn’t want that. She made it very clear that we were beneath you. I guess she was hoping she’d scare us off,” she shrugged. She nodded. “I know. The dumb twat said he was engaged to your cousin Millie. Clearly she’s not all that bright,” she said, rolling her eyes. She smiled at him and nodded, putting stuff on her plate. “Thank you for bringing all of this. I really appreciate it.”

Philip watched her, knowing somehow that there was something she didn't want to tell him. He wouldn't force it out of her. She'd tell him one day when she was ready to, he thought. "That's ridiculous. Our titles do not make us public property. We're still humans and we can make our own choices on who we associate with," he said. "It's not her business." He let out a laugh when she called the woman a twat. "Well, clearly. Especially if she was betting on you not knowing who Millie was. Or maybe her simple mind didn't know who she was. What an odd declaration to make," he admitted with a chuckle. He reached out to fill his plate too and let his hand brush hers for a moment. "Of course. I'd do anything for you."

Audrey nodded and shrugged. She obviously knew that, but that didn’t change how that woman felt about it. She was so threatened at the idea of either of them marrying one of the princes that she felt the need to talk down on them in public. “Well, you know, most people don’t see it that way. They think they get to like, vote on who you marry or something,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I doubt she knew who Millie is. She just saw a pretty dressed up woman and pointed,” she said, rolling her eyes again. She felt butterflies fill her stomach and chest. She looked at him for a moment as he was getting his food. There was such a heaviness in her. She didn’t even know what to say. “I’d do anything for you, too.”

Philip thought that was so absurd. He didn't think it was fair to anyone to have people feeling entitled to a say in his life. It just wouldn't end well for anyone. What was the reasoning, anyway? He wasn't anything special. He'd been lucky to be born into this role. That was it. He didn't do anything special. "Well, that's absurd. I'll marry who I please. I'm the only person who gets to decide that. Well, and the woman, of course." He hoped it'd be her. "I can't believe that. What an idiot," he laughed a little. He finished adding to his plate and smiled at her again. "I know. I know you would," he said honestly.

Audrey felt a bit weird talking about him being married. She didn’t really like to think about it, but there was a tiny part of her that thought about if they were married. She put it out of her mind. “Yeah, I know. She’s just a bigot, that’s all,” she said with a shrug. She laughed a little and nodded. “I know. She’s really dumb,” she agreed. She smiled over at him, noticing he was smiling at her. She turned to her food and took a bite. “Mm, this is so good.”

Philip shook his head a bit. He hated that people thought they had any right to him. He wished he could step away from the royal life altogether sometimes but he loved his family too much to do it now. "Yeah, she is. I think Leo mentioned something about pressing charges to Nina. Did you want to follow through on that?" he asked curiously. He just wanted to make sure she got the resolution she needed from this. "Is it? I'm so glad!" He took a bite himself and hummed. "Oh yeah, it is."

Audrey let out a sigh. She didn’t really want to deal with it, but she did like the idea of that woman knowing what she did was wrong and she wasn’t going to get away with it. “Yeah, I suppose so. I kind of just want to leave it all behind me, but I don’t really want to set that kind of precedent,” she admitted. She nodded eagerly. “Oh yeah, it’s amazing,” she said, going to take a bite of something else. “Mm, thank you again. This is just what I needed.”

Philip shrugged a little. "You don't have to file charges. If you don't want your name on the paperwork, Nina can just sign it. There's still a precedent set but just without the legal document binding you," he said gently. He didn't want her to do anything that made her more uncomfortable. He watched her eat with a smile, sort of proud of himself for picking out things she liked. "Yeah, of course. You're so very welcome. It's the very least that I could do for you."

Audrey wasn’t really sure that was the best way to go. She definitely thought it made a bigger statement if they both signed it. “No, it’s okay. I’ll fill out whatever I have to fill out. I don’t love it, but who loves when someone is racist and abusive to them and then they have to deal with it?” she said with a bitter laugh. She shook her head. “Let’s not talk about it right now,” she said, giving him a smile. “Everything you got is amazing. It’s like all the best breakfast foods.”

Philip frowned a little, wondering if he maybe shouldn't have brought it up. He reached out to touch her hand gently. "You don't have to deal with it in this way, though. If it's not something you're comfortable with then that's perfectly okay. You were the one harassed, you get to decide if you want to respond," he told her. He nodded, though, agreeing to let it go. "Well, I tried to get the things I remembered you liking back in uni. I'd hoped your favorites hadn't changed too much," he smiled.

Audrey sighed. She really didn’t know what to do. “I’ll think about it more,” she said. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do yet. Maybe she’d talk to her mum more. She’d know what to do. “I’m not a very adventurous eater, so you’re in luck,” she teased. “Did you enjoy your party at all?” she asked curiously. She hadn’t meant to ruin the whole night for him. She knew it was a big deal, after all.

Philip nodded a bit. He'd let it go for now. She could think about it all she wanted. He wouldn't press her. It was her decision to make and he'd support her no matter what. "Honestly, I'm not that adventurous myself. I'll try things when I'm expected to but I like to stick to the basics," he said with a grin. He shrugged a bit. "Yeah, I had an alright time. It was nice to hang out with you the little bit that I did and I had a nice time with Leo. It wasn't as fun as the party you guys threw for me though," he smiled.

Audrey liked that he wasn’t adventurous either. She always felt like she needed to try new things, but she didn’t really want to. “I’m glad to hear that. We can stick to the basics together, then,” she said with a smile. She felt really bad that she’d messed up his party, but she was glad he’d had an okay time. She was glad he’d had fun at the party they threw him, too. She took a sip of her tea and set it down. “Do you, maybe, um, want to have that dance we were supposed to have yesterday?” she asked nervously.

Philip laughed a little bit. "To sticking to the basics together," he said, playfully raising his tea in a salute. "I just think it's better to stick with what you know you like. Plus, I end up trying a lot of awful foods," he admitted with a laugh. He took another bite of food, still smiling to himself. Her sudden question surprised him. "Oh, now? Here?" he asked with a smile. "I'd love to. I should have thought of that," he teased playfully. "It was my second biggest regret last night that we didn't get to dance together."

Audrey raised her tea, too, giggling a little before she took a sip. She nodded. “I don’t always even want to eat much, so going to the comfort foods is much easier than trying something weird that I don’t want to try, anyway,” she said with a shrug. “I’m sure you do,” she added with a laugh. She nodded a bit, but shrugged a shoulder, not looking at him for a moment. “Well, I mean, sure,” she said, smiling a little at him. “What was your first regret?” he asked curiously.

Philip finished off his tea and set the cup down on the saucer. "That makes sense. Life's too short to eat food you don't like," he shrugged. "I have to at state dinners all the time. I usually sneak off to the kitchens and beg for normal food," he added playfully. He watched her for a moment, noticing how she looked away. "First regret was not being there for you when that woman attacked. I shouldn't have left your side," he told her. He pushed his plate away a bit and took out his phone and played a song. He stood and offered a hand. "Audrey Carlisle, may I have this dance?" he asked seriously.

Audrey nodded in agreement, taking another sip from her tea. She wasn’t exactly interested in wasting time on food she didn’t like. She laughed quietly, shaking her head. “What do they give you then?” she asked curiously. She felt this feeling raise from her stomach to her chest as he spoke. It was odd how he’d been away for so long, yet this feeling was so familiar. She looked over at him as he spoke and gave him a smile. “You can’t be next to me all the time. I have to be able to protect myself,” she said, trying to reassure him. She finished her tea, smiling a little as he got music playing. “Yes, I would quite like that,” she said, grinning from ear to ear as she took his hand and stood.

Philip shrugged a little, trying to look innocent. "You know, whatever I feel like. Sometimes soup, usually pancakes. If I'm really looking pathetic I get cookie dough and fresh baked cookies," he said with a teasing smile. He took her hand and pulled her from her seat. He led them a few steps away from the table and spun her. He pulled her close to him again, their bodies touching. "This is probably a little closer than we would have danced last night," he admitted as he led them through the dance. "It would have caused a scandal that we didn't leave room for the queen between us," he said with a joking tone.

Audrey grinned in amusement, letting out a small laugh. “Cookie dough and cookies? Wow, you really are a prince, huh?” she teased. She stood easily, following him and holding his hand. She smiled as he spun her, feeling butterflies as he pulled her close. Her heart was beating so fast. She laughed softly and nodded. “I’m sure it is. Maybe it’s better we’re getting our dance in now,” she said, not really thinking. “What a welcome back that would’ve been for you; a scandal on the front page.”

Philip shrugged innocently. "What can I say? I'm a man of basic tastes," he said playfully. He held her close to him. The dance wasn't super proper by any means. They were more just swaying to the music he'd chosen than actually dancing. He just wanted to hold her for a few minutes. He'd dance with her properly to the next song. He promised. "It's much better. Maybe we should do most of our dancing in private," he suggested. "Though, if Nina came home right now we'd never hear the end of it," he teased. "Ah, could be worse. I wouldn't mind a scandal with you."

Audrey laughed softly at him. “That’s okay,” she said playfully. She danced with him slowly, feeling so comfortable in his arms. She was never comfortable with other people touching her, just her mum and Nina, but she was when he was the one doing it. “I’d be okay with that,” she said honestly. She didn’t like having eyes on her, anyway. She laughed a little. “Yeah, that’s true,” she agreed. She was quiet for a moment, but smiled a little. “Yeah?”

Philip could do a lot better than just swaying with her like this but he wanted this moment. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to know what it was like when it was just the two of them. No one else. "I'd be okay with that too. I'd probably prefer it that way, just so no one has anything to say about how tasteless we are," he joked. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head without thinking about it. "Yeah. If I had to have a scandal with anyone, it'd be you. You're the only one worth it."

Audrey nodded as he spoke. She liked it that way, too. She didn’t want people watching them, wondering. She laughed a bit as he went on. “Maybe you’re tasteless, but I’m not,” she teased. She took a deep breath, feeling so comfortable and relaxed, and let it out slowly. She loved when he kissed her head like that. Could he tell she was both completely at ease, and also losing it at the same time? She didn’t really know what exactly that meant, but it made her heart beast faster. “You’re worth it, too. Clearly. Since I’m still here, even after all the fake headlines.”

Philip laughed a little bit at that. "Oh, so you're saying that I'm tasteless? Really? Hurtful of you to agree with me," he teased her. He moved with her slowly as the song started to fade out. "I'm sorry about the headlines. It's really not fair to you at all. I wish I could just be a normal guy who could do normal things with you," he said quietly. As the next song started, he recognized it as her favorite and he pulled back to twirl her. He spun her back into his arms, her back pressed to his chest. "I think about what that would be like a lot."

Audrey laughed and nodded a little. “More than I am, anyway,” she teased back. She shrugged one of her shoulders. “It’s okay. I’m not really that bothered most of the time,” she admitted. She felt that feeling bubble up inside of her again. She never knew what he meant when he said stuff like that. What did he want to do with her? She noticed the song change and smiled a little. She liked this one a lot. She twirled out, a bit relieved to have her face away from him when they moved back to dance again. She felt butterflies in her stomach. He made her so nervous, but in a good way. “What do you think about?” she asked, her voice soft.

Philip held her close to him, swaying to the music. He dropped a small kiss to her shoulder and wondered if she could feel his heartbeat pounding against her back. He led her through some steps, guiding her easily. He hummed along to the song, his lips by her ear. He felt like this was perfect. He was the happiest he'd ever been in his life just holding her like this. "I think about how I would have asked you on a date in uni and taken you to some crappy party where we could hardly hear each other over the music. Then I'd be embarrassed that I messed that up and I'd make some excuse so we could leave. I would have walked you to a cafe to get tea or a milkshake and taken you to a park. We would have sat on the swings and talked all night. And then I would have walked you back to your room and kissed you. And no one would find anything scandalous about it because I'd just be Lip and you'd be Rae."

Audrey felt like she was going to faint or something. He kept giving her butterflies. Her heart was beating so fast, and she was certain she was sweating. He made her so nervous, but in a good way. She licked her lips and bit them gently as he kissed her shoulder, and then moved his lips to her ear. She felt like she was holding her breath as he started to speak. As he went on, she felt tears well up in her eyes. Had he actually felt something for her since uni? Oh, what if it was all true? She stopped moving in his arms, a few tears on her cheeks now. She turned slowly and put a hand on his cheek, closing her eyes as she leaned in and kissed him softly, but passionately on the lips.

Philip let her turn to face him and frowned at the tears on her cheeks. "Don't cry, butterfly," he whispered. He wiped the tears away as delicately as he could, his touch gentle on he skin. He hadn't meant to upset her. And then. Oh, and then. Her lips met his and fireworks went off inside of him. He'd never believed in that trope. Fireworks? From a kiss? What an odd metaphor. But he felt them now. He felt sparks in every cell in his body as she kissed him. Could this be it? Could they finally be realizing what they were holding out on.

Audrey couldn’t believe she was kissing him. She was finally kissing him. She was kissing him, really kissing him, with everything in her. Not like before, with the little peck. This was it. This was real. She kept her hand on his face, kissing him for a moment longer. She’d never kissed anyone like this. She pulled away, letting out a soft breath. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I just, reacted,” she explained, feeling a little embarrassed.

Philip kissed her softly, like he was afraid she'd fade away if he was too much. He was terrified she'd think that this was a bad idea. He didn't want her to run away from him. He tightened his grip on her body just in case. Maybe it was to remind himself that this was real or maybe it was to show her he wasn't going anywhere. "Don't. Don't ever apologize for kissing me. I should be apologizing for not doing it sooner," he said before he was kissing her again.

Audrey could feel a tenderness in his moves. There was so much, for lack of a better word, love in every touch. Maybe Nina had been right all along. She held him tighter when his hands gripped her tighter. She was so in love with him. It was almost too much to think that he felt the same way. She felt tears sting her eyes again. She was so overcome with emotions. She couldn’t even respond, his lips were on hers before she knew it. She kissed him back, leaning into him more.

Philip pulled her close to him. Kissing her was even better than he'd ever imagined it would be. It had been special when they'd kissed briefly in the elevator but this was different. It was more purposeful. There was intent behind it. They knew what they were doing, they were making the choice. They were taking this step finally. Finally, he thought again. He kissed her easily, his touch tender against her.

Audrey moved an arm around his neck, holding him close as they kissed. She loved him so much. She kissed him softly, her other hand moving to his face. She kept it on his cheek for a moment before sliding her hand back into his hair. He liked her. He’d liked her. Her heart was still beating so fast. She was so surprised, but in a good way. She kissed him until she had to break the kiss to take a breath.

Philip held the kiss. He was just as gentle with her as she was with him. It felt like a big step. It felt like something important. Something had changed, it was obvious. They were admitting their feelings. His grip tightened on her when she broke the kiss and he watched her face carefully to see her reaction. He touched her face gently, stroking his thumb against her cheek. "Is this okay? Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

Audrey was so close to him. She could feel his body everywhere. She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe this was real. The only reason she knew this was real at all was because it simply was even better than she ever could have imagined it would be. Her brain never could’ve made this up. She held him tight, leaning back just enough to see his face. She smiled and nodded. “This is more than okay. I feel better than I think I ever have,” she admitted. All the anticipation and anxiety was completely melted away, leaving her only with the soft and happy feelings of kissing him.

Philip cupped her face gently in his hand. Part of him was worried that this would all crumble away in the blink of an eye. Maybe she'd say it wasn't okay. Maybe she'd get mad at him for kissing her. His heart was hammering in his chest. Seven years of waiting and now he was finally holding her against him. He didn't want her to slip away just like that. Her words were like a tidal wave of relief through him. "Yeah? I was just thinking the exact same thing," he said with a smile. He leaned in and kissed her once more, just a soft brush of his lips on hers. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this." He was almost afraid to tell her it had been the entire length of knowing her.

Audrey felt so relieved when he said he felt the same way, which was especially funny considering he had made it pretty clear he liked her. It wasn’t like he was suddenly going to want her to go away. “I’m really happy to hear that,” she promised. She kissed him back, so soft it was almost hard to feel. It was nice. She liked it. She let out a small laugh. “I think I have a small idea,” she admitted, smiling at him.

Philip leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek gently. He felt like he was in a dream. This couldn't be real. And yet he could feel her warmth in his arms and he just knew that it was. He finally had her and it was everything he'd always hoped that it would be. She was everything. He'd known she would be. He kissed her lightly and then smiled at her laugh. "Yeah, maybe you do. Lucky for us, then, that we finally made the move. Took us long enough," he smiled.

Audrey smiled fondly at the kiss on her cheek. It was so sweet, so innocent. This was so unbelievable, she couldn’t believe it was real. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening, but she was so happy that it was. She was beyond thrilled. She kissed him back, still smiling when she pulled back again. She grinned at the sound of his laugh. “I don’t know how much longer I could’ve stood pining after you,” she teased.

Philip didn't know how much longer he could either. He felt like it would have had to come out soon. He'd been planning on talking to her last night but he was pretty sure he would have chickened out even if she'd stayed. It hadn't been the right time. This felt much more right. It was safer and more secure. "It was getting harder every minute to not kiss you," he told her. "Ever since I came back, since the elevator, I just wanted to tell you but I didn't think you could possibly feel the same."

Audrey laughed a little. It was funny how they could feel so the same and yet not have a clue that the other was feeling remotely the same. “Yeah, it’s been really hard. I can’t tell you how many times I almost told you I felt in a letter. I thought it’d be easier. But then I thought it’d be so much easier for you to turn me down and never talk to me again in a letter, too,” she admitted with an embarrassed laugh. “I knew you’d never turn your back on me, but I couldn’t help but be nervous. I always thought there was no way you could feel the same and I would just ruin our friendship.”

Philip smiled at her, nearly laughing a little as well. "Oh really? Well, I actually wrote that letter and tore it up and tossed it out," he admitted with a laugh. "I was worried you wouldn't write back or that you wouldn't want to hear it and I thought you deserved better than to hear it that way. You deserve to hear it face to face," he told her. "I would never ignore you over any kind of feelings. Everything about you is so important to me. Can't you tell?" he asked her softly. He shook his head with a soft smile. "Nothing could ever ruin us."

Audrey leaned into him, giggling a bit. They were the same in so many ways, and it was so amusing to her. “Who would’ve thought we’d be in different countries, wanting to write the same letters to each other but being too nervous?” she said, smiling at him. This was the most naturally happy and at ease she’d felt in ages. She hadn’t really told him how much she loved him, but maybe some things could stay under her hat for a while longer. She smiled at him. “Sometimes I felt like I was getting that vibe from you. But I always told myself I was seeing what I wanted,” she explained, shrugging a shoulder. “Promise?” she said, holding out her pinky.

Philip wrapped his arm around her a bit tighter, keeping her close. He never would have imagined any of this, honestly. "I mean, I guess it is kind of very us to be too nervous to say anything," he teased gently. "Seeing as we've both been doing that for years now." He smiled softly at her and leaned in for another kiss. "Yeah, that's what I told myself too. It's what I told Leo when he was trying to insist that it was real. You know, I had him checking up on you while I was gone," he admitted. "I wanted to make sure you were okay." He linked his pinky with hers. "Promise."

Audrey closed her eyes for a moment, smiling happily as she took in the moment. She laughed softly. “That does sound an awful lot like us. I’m glad we finally stopped,” she said honestly. She couldn’t believe this was an option all along, and that it was finally hers. She kissed him back, still smiling when she pulled back. They really could’ve been together earlier. Things probably worked out for the best. “I didn’t know that. I mean, I sort of suspected he filled you in one things, but I didn’t know it was intentional,” she said honestly. She smiled, squeezing his pinky for a moment.

Philip smiled at the sound of her laugh. It really was the most beautiful thing. "I'm glad too," he promised. He wouldn't want to go back to wanting her without knowing how she felt. It was such an exhausting thing to long after someone. Now he knew how she felt. Now she was practically his. "Yeah, well, I didn't know if you'd give me the whole story and I didn't know if Nina would. Leo was like an objective third party. He could keep me updated on everything." He squeezed her pinky with his and then leaned in for a kiss. "There. Sealed the promise."

Audrey let out a small, snort of a laugh. “Yeah, that’s fair. I probably wouldn’t have. And I’m sure Nina would’ve held some stuff back, too, though not as much,” she admitted. She hoped she never made him upset or anything when he was away and he heard things from Leo. She giggled a little at the kiss, smiling as he pulled back again. She just wanted to put her hands on his face and kiss him more. “Leo and Nina will be thrilled to know we’ve finally admitted we have feelings for each other.”

Philip had very much thought the same way. "I didn't ever really know if maybe you two wanted to protect me and not tell me everything that was happening. I felt so far away from you. It was the strangest thing. We'd been joined at the hip the past few years and then I was suddenly separate. It was the worst part," he admitted. He'd missed her so much every day. There weren't even words for it. "Yeah, they sure will. But do we tell them right away or do we mess with them a little?" he asked playfully. He stepped back from her a little to twirl her. The music was still playing, after all.

Audrey hadn’t ever wanted to trouble him, and most of what was troubling her was missing him, and there wasn’t much he could do about that anyway. “It was really hard for us being away from you, too. The three of us did everything together, and then it was just me and Nina again. We missed you a lot,” she promised. She raised an eyebrow at that, smirking a bit. “Hm, we could have a lot of fun with this. We’ll have to be really careful if we don’t want them to find out. Especially Nina,” she said, twirling and smiling when she came back to him.

Philip wished he'd been able to stick around but he'd had a duty. Even on his worst days of missing them, he knew he had a responsibility that he couldn't turn his back on. "I missed you guys too. It was comforting to know that you had each other, though. At least I knew you were looking out for each other always," he said with a smile. He laughed a little bit. "I think we can handle it. We just have to be sneaky about kisses and continue to stare longingly at each other. Won't be a hard thing to do," he smiled.

Audrey could imagine that. She felt good knowing they’d had each other when she was away during uni for her degree. It was a short while, much shorter in comparison, but it was a comforting thought. “We took very good care of each other. Don’t worry,” she promised. She smiled at her laugh, gazing at him as they danced again. “I think I can manage that,” she said. She felt like it was just a natural response her body had when around him, honestly.

Philip would have hated leaving her even more if she hadn't had such a good friend to keep her company. "I know you did. You took care of each other before me, of course you'd take care of each other after," he said with a smile. He laughed a little bit and nodded. They could certainly pull this off. It'd be such fun after all of the pushing. "We can probably use it to nudge them together too, since they've been so adamant on playing matchmaker to us," he suggested. "Or we can just let them work it out and focus on us." He twirled her again.

Audrey always knew she could count on Nina, and that was never going to change. She loved Philip, she really did, but Nina was her soulmate. He didn’t need to know that, though. She raised an eyebrow a bit at that. “Hm, we could,” she agreed. They did need to get together, and they had pushed for the two of them to get together. She smiled at him. “I think I like that even better,” she said with a smile.

Philip kind of wanted to push their two friends together but it seemed like a lot of work. Plus they were already well on their way to being a thing. He'd much rather nurture his new relationship with Audrey. "Let's just keep nudging them the way we have been, to keep up appearances. We'll keep our relationship a secret and we'll let it grow naturally without interference. They can do the same," he said with a smile.

Audrey nodded. That was a good idea. If they stopped pushing them together all together, it would get a bit suspicious. Plus, she did want them to get together. Nina obviously liked him. “Sounds like a good plan. We’ll keep nudging them. That way they can be happy and lovey, too,” she said with a smile. She nodded, leaning in and pecking his lips. “I like that we can naturally let this bloom. I’m so happy you came over this morning.”

Philip smiled when she kissed him. He still couldn't believe they could do that now. They could kiss whenever they wanted. Within reason, of course. He wasn't going to subject her to the horrors that would be the press if he kissed her in public. He was more than thrilled to keep it a secret for now and just enjoy her. "Exactly," he agreed. "I like it too. I'm just. I'm so happy, Rae. I'm so, so happy. You mean the world to me, you know?" he smiled. "I'm happy too."

Audrey was so happy. She didn’t realize all of this could happen, really. It was unbelievable that it just was real now. She smiled brightly. “I’m so happy, too. You mean the world to me, too!” she replied. She was so in love with him. He meant everything to her, and he had for a long while. She couldn’t believe how different her life was a month ago. It made her so happy. “We get to just be Rae and Lip,” she said with a soft smile.

Philip had never heard anything he liked more. They were just Rae and Lip. It was all he'd ever wanted. It was the easiest thing and yet, it had always seemed so impossible. "Yeah, we do. Rae and Lip. I really love the way that sounds," he told her with a smile. He pulled her close to him and leaned in for the gentlest of kisses. "This is all I've ever wanted. I can't believe this dream actually came true."

Audrey smiled fondly at him. She couldn’t believe how happy they both were. This was better than she ever could’ve imagined. “I do, too,” she said, smiling at him. She kissed him softly, smiling when she pulled away. “I can’t either. It feels too good to be true. But it’s actually real. I feel so fortunate,” she said, laughing softly. It was silly, but she really did feel so lucky. “Nina will probably be home soon,” she noted.

Philip knew how she felt. He was dealing with the same exact emotions. He was so grateful that this had worked out. He felt like the luckiest man alive. He had the love of his life in his arms. It was magic. "It really does. I feel like I'll wake up from this dream any moment," he agreed with a smile. He sighed the slightest bit and nodded. "Yeah, alright. Should I go?" he asked, pulling away slightly.

Audrey felt the same way. She really couldn’t believe this was real. It would set in more once he left and the next day she woke up and it was still real. “We actually get to hold onto this. How lovely for us both,” she said with a smile. She thought for a moment and let out a sigh, shaking her head. “No, I don’t think you need to leave. But we probably should pretend everything is normal. Or well, the old normal,” she said with a small smile.

Philip wondered if he'd ever get used to the fact that he could call her his. Well, sort of. He'd have to make it official still but she deserved more than to be asked in this moment. He'd make it more special. He had to. "It's so lovely, isn't it?" he asked with a smile. He laughed a little at the way she described it. "The old normal. What a strange thought that this is the new normal," he admitted. "We can at least clean up a little before she gets here. Then we'll sit on the sofa and look less suspicious."

Audrey nodded. She was so happy this was happening. She felt like she’d been so silly to not tell him sooner. If she had, they could’ve been together earlier. But everything worked out, and she was just happy to have him now. “It is sort of strange. But in a good way,” she said with a smile. They could easily convince Nina and Leo they weren’t together, considering they’d been that way for years. She nodded, moving to pick stuff up and take it to the kitchen. “Good idea. We’ll just pretend we’re chatting.”

Philip thought it was strange in the best possible way. He couldn't think of a thing in the world that could be better than this. She was everything he wanted. "It's definitely a good way," he agreed with her. He started helping her pick up, carrying some of their containers to the kitchen. He put some away in the fridge in case she wanted them later or if Nina wanted a bite to eat. "We'll be chatting about... hm..." he paused to think. "We can just be chatting about the wedding!"

Audrey let him put the leftovers in the fridge, putting the dirty dishes in the sink and giving them a rinse. She could take care of them later. She dried her hands and nodded. “That’s a good idea. Wedding talk is totally normal,” she said. She wondered what her mum would say about all of this. “I am really happy she’s getting married. She deserved a happy marriage, and Martin is such a good guy,” she said as they went back to the couch.

Philip was really looking forward to the wedding. He'd always adored Audrey's mum. He really was thrilled that she was getting married and that he'd be able to be there for it. "He seemed really nice when I met him. I can tell he makes her really happy. That's the only thing that matters, isn't it?" he smiled. "I hope she lets me help with the wedding. Anything she wants, I can make it happen," he said as he sat by her.

Audrey nodded. Her mum was so happy. She was so happy for her. After her dad died, she had begun to think her mum was never going to date again. She didn’t even try until she was already in uni. Maybe it was because she was still home and she had been kind of a handful, maybe it was because she was still healing herself. She wasn’t really sure, but she was glad she found Martin. “He does. I’ve never seen her so happy. I’m really happy for her,” she said. She nodded. “I’m sure she will. Especially if you push, which I know you will.”

Philip thought that it was lucky that her mum had found someone so wonderful and was going to marry him. If anyone deserved happiness it was her. She'd always been the kindest soul to him, especially when he'd been away. He wouldn't have made it without all the care packages she'd sent. "She does seem so much lighter and happier these days. I love that for her. It couldn't have happened to a nicer woman." He smiled brightly when she said she would let him help. "Excellent. I'll be so pushy. In a nice way."

Audrey thought so, too. She didn’t really feel like her mum had been super sad before, but she thought she was very obviously happier and lighter now. “I agree. I love it for her, too. I’m just so happy that she’s doing something for herself like finding someone to love,” she said with a laugh. “Just make sure you know when to stop,” she said playfully. She heard the key in the door and looked over. “Hey Nina,” she said with a smile. “There’s food in the fridge, if you want any,” she told her.

Philip was really happy for her too. And he really thought it'd be good for Audrey to see her mother in a happy relationship. It would certainly bring her some peace, he thought. "I'm happy she is too. She really deserves it." He let out a chuckle and held his hands up innocently. "I will, I promise." He looked up when Nina came home and waved at her. "Oh, thanks. Hey Philip. I'm just gonna grab something and head to my room, I have to make a phone call," the girl explained.

Audrey nodded in agreement. She wanted her to have only good things. She laughed when he put his hands up. “Okay, good,” she grinned. “Have fun!” she called after Nina. She turned to Philip and smiled mischievously. “I think we’re doing good,” she said, her voice lowered. “You could stay a bit longer if you want. Maybe we could watch something you missed while you were gone,” she offered.

Philip waved to Nina again as she disappeared. He was a little surprised, honestly. He'd half expected they'd have to really sell the fact that everything was perfectly normal. "I mean, yeah. She totally has no idea we were just kissing a few minutes ago," he whispered to her. He pressed his lips to her cheek quickly and then smiled. "That sounds like fun to me! I must have missed an awful lot while I was gone."

[loudlytransparenttrash]

In June, an Oberlin bakery won their lawsuit against Oberlin College and a top university administrator, after three black students claimed that they had been racially profiled. The accusation led students, professors, and even some in the Oberlin administration launching a massive boycott of the bakery, including protests and pickets outside the store. The school even canceled its contracts with the bakery, which has been owned and operated by the same family for over a century and has been a popular spot for Oberlin College students within walking distance of campus. After investigations though and a year-long lawsuit, the allegations proved to be a lie, the students admitted they had in fact been kicked out after being caught stealing from the store.

Advocacy groups like the Southern Poverty Law Center make headlines by claiming that hate crimes have surged since Trump’s election but the real surge is in hate crime hoaxes, especially among university students. Almost all of that surge is due to the simple fact that in 2017 the number of hate crime reports increased by 17 percent. Taking into account that 1 in 3 of reported hate crimes turn out to be hoaxes and almost none have lead to convictions, the surge narrative is pretty dishonest. And destructive. The perception that red hat-wearing, hate-filled mobs are roaming the streets attacking minorities, gay and transgender people in the name of Donald Trump keeps us on edge. It also creates a gullibility that allows us to believe things we should know aren’t true. Like Juicy Smollett’s ridiculous tale of being attacked by two MAGA-hat-wearing Klansmen in Chicago. Before the actor’s tale unraveled, it was wildly parroted by a media too eager to believe anything that confirms its conviction that America under Trump’s presidency is rife with racism and bigotry. These hoaxes began immediately after Trump won.   

The day after the 2016 election, a student at Bowling Green State University said that she was attacked by white Trump supporters, who threw rocks at her. Police concluded that she had fabricated the story. That same day, a University of Minnesota student, claimed in a viral social-media post that she was detained by police after fighting a racist man who had attacked her. Campus and local police said that they had had no contact with her. And again that day, a Muslim student at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette made up a story about being attacked and robbed by Trump supporters, who supposedly ripped off her hijab. For weeks after Trump’s election, America was fed a series of outrageous stories of campus race hatred that fell apart upon examination.

This trend of student hate crime hoaxes has continued. In May 2017, St. Olaf College in Minnesota was roiled in mass “anti-racism” protests that caused classes to be cancelled. a black student activist, was found to be responsible for a racist threat she left on her own car. In September of that year, five black students at the U.S. Air Force Academy Preparatory School found racial slurs written on their doors. An investigation later found that one of the students targeted was responsible for the vandalism. In November 2018, students at Goucher College in Maryland demanded social-justice training and safe spaces after “I’m gonna kill all n—s” was discovered written in a dorm bathroom. A black student was responsible for the hoax. That same month, thousands of students at Drake University protested after racist notes turned up on campus. An Indian-American student pled guilty for targeting herself and others. Here’s some more from just the last few months:

A sixth-grade girl from Springfield, Virginia, wept on television as she recalled how she was pinned down during recess by three white male students. “They put me on the ground,” she said. “One of them put my hands behind my back. One put his hands over my mouth. One cut my hair. They were saying that my hair was ugly, that it was nappy.” Many outlets jumped on the tale and turned it into a national crisis. New York Times, MSNBC, CNN and Washington Post all ran daunting articles, proving “the rise in hate crimes in the Trump era.” Democrat Rashida Tlaib published a personalized message on Twitter to the girl, saying her blackness threatened these white boys to their core, that’s why they did it. The accused boys were never sought for comment. On the contrary, the NAACP demanded “immediate disciplinary action” against the minor suspects. All over Twitter people found a way to blame Trump. A few days later the girl confessed she had cut her own hair off and made the story up. Her grandparents later wrote an apology on her behalf.

Talha Javaid, a 23-year-old immigrant from Pakistan who lives in Ontario posted screenshots on Twitter purported to be a text from a bigoted white parent who didn’t want him coaching ice hockey to their son. Javaid’s tweet went viral. Within a week it racked up more than 11,000 retweets and more than 56,000 likes. An outpouring of support came from the public, hockey stars and journalists, who praised Javaid and condemned racism and Islamophobia. He received job offers to coach in both Canada and the U.S. “And they try to convince us racism doesn’t exist anymore or in hockey,“ San Jose Sharks hockey player Evander Kane tweeted. Turns out that Javaid doesn’t even coach ice hockey to kids. When the rink where Javaid claimed to coach was contacted, the facility said they have never heard of Javaid nor the ice skating classes he allegedly was holding. “We’ve never heard of him. He’s never taught here.” This is not the first time Javaid has claimed to be the victim of Islamophobia. In September 2017, he said he found a note on his car that read: “Muslim! Go Home! Make Canada Great Again. MAGA. MCGA.” 

Former NFL player, Edawn Coughman, called 911 to report a hate crime inspired burglary at his pizza restaurant in Lawrenceville, Georgia. When officers arrived, they saw several racist words, swastikas and the word "MAGA" sprayed on the walls and booth cushions in black spray paint. “Several booth cushions were sliced open. They also found broken mirrors, cut wires, and a damaged video surveillance system. The smell of spray paint was very fresh.” A witness reported the suspect was driving a black car without a license plate. Officers pulled over a vehicle that matched the description - it was Coughman driving. They noticed "several televisions in the bed of the truck and inside the cab," some of which were "still attached to the brackets with damaged drywall.” After he was arrested, police found a yellow crow bar and cans of black spray paint in his vehicle. "It appears as though Edawn conjured a premeditated plan to damage his own property, attempt to make it appear as a hate crime, file a claim with his insurance company, and sell off the undamaged appliances and electronics," police said.

Democrat politician Erica Thomas cried her eyes out during a Facebook live video, stating she "feared for her life" after a white man "verbally assaulted" her. “This white man comes up to me and says, 'you need to go back where you came from!'" she said. “I was helpless.” She also told police officers the man walked up to her with clenched fists. The hashtag #IStandWithErica quickly began trending on Twitter. Beto O’Rourke blamed Trump for “fomenting hate every day,” Bill de Blasio tweeted “this is on Trump and every single person who refuses to condemn his vile racism,” while every mainstream media outlet ran stories linking this “attack” to Trump and his supporters. When police investigated, witnesses told them it was in fact Thomas telling the man to go back after he argued with her about the express lane. The employee told police that after the man accosted Thomas for ignoring the express lane rules, he began to leave but “Ms. Thomas kept ‘running her mouth’ as she approached him.” Video footage shows the man never had his fists clenched, was not irate and for someone who was so scared and helpless, Thomas followed after the man as he walked away. In a later interview, Thomas admitted that she doesn’t know if the man, who is a life-long Democrat, actually told her to go back to where she came from or not. 

The number of hate crime hoaxes by far exceeds the number of convictions. Almost every high-profile hate crime incident never happened. The real problem is that highly publicized fake hate crimes usually receive little public coverage after it is revealed that the original accusation was a hoax, meaning all the hatred, division and fear whipped up by the media and Trump’s opponents against the president and his supporters remain intact when they should be relieved. With the preoccupation with identity, privilege, and oppression, our media and higher education increasingly promote a paranoid climate of perpetual crisis for their own gain. The saddest part is Americans are bound to become ever more cynical and skeptical of hate crimes even when they actually happen. 

[only-one-dnp]

Safe Space

Rating: Teen | Warnings: mild homophobia/slurs

Summary: Having Phil in the same house as his parents constantly feels like two completely different worlds are colliding in the weirdest ways- and one of them doesn't even know about it. But nothing makes Dan feel worse than having Phil hear some of the things his parents say when they think it's okay.

| read on AO3 |

Dan can’t stop the tension that fills his body when he hears the front door slams shut.

He hates it. He hates that his dad coming home makes his stomach twist so sharply he almost feels nauseous. He hates that he finds himself glancing over at Phil and silently praying to whatever God there may be that his dad doesn’t say something.

And he especially hates that he could never fully articulate any of it to Phil, at least not without admitting how his dad feels about certain subjects.

How his dad would feel about them.

He straightens up a little too quickly, barely missing knocking his head on the cupboard he’d been going through, and holds up some biscuits. He can here his dad loudly complaining about the laziness and stupidity of some guy at work.

“Custard Creams,” Dan says, his voice sounding distant to his own ears, and Phil looks up from the two cups of tea he’s making to glance at him. “Custard Creams are good tea biscuits, right?”

“They’ll do,” says Phil, but he smiles and Dan can hear the jokiness in his voice. It lessens the tension just a bit.

He returns the smile as Phil carefully puts the kettle back down, and then reaches over and takes one of the cups of tea. “I’m not letting you carry both of these. I like my floors un-tea-stained, thanks,” he jabs, elbowing the other boy softly.

“Hey!” Phil whines, even as he moves out of Dan’s way. “Tea stains are- they’re vintage, they’re stylish, I’ll have you know.”

“Oh, sure,” scoffs Dan, leading the way towards the stairs. He’s just about to step onto the first step, just about to decide that everything actually turned out okay after all, when a line from his parents conversation seems to pierce through the air.

“He’s a ponce, I’ll bet you anything,” his dad huffs, and Dan feels something in him go very cold. “Tell you what, though- if I get lucky, he’ll probably end up with bum cancer before the year’s up, save me some trouble.”

And then his mum is responding with some vague platitudes, and it takes Dan almost a second too long to remember that he’s holding a cup filled with hot liquid.

He steadies it before more than a drop hits the floor, and slowly forces out a breath.

There’s a million and one things going through his brain as the comment settles in, but the primary one is- Phil.

Does he turn around? Will that bring attention to it? Does he pretend he didn’t hear it, or that it didn’t happen? Maybe Phil never noticed-

But that’s dumb, because even if Phil didn’t notice the comment, he sure as hell would’ve noticed Dan’s reaction. And Phil isn’t like Dan- Phil is comfortable, he’s open, he’s out and accepted and he wouldn’t be used to hearing that stuff, so it would be harder for him, more of a shock to the system.

Dan turns around an apology already on his lips, but to his surprise, Phil looks more concerned than distressed by it. The apology seems to die out.

Phil offers him a small, comforting smile. “We should head up stairs,” he suggests, his tone gentle, and Dan knows what he’s actually saying- we should get away from here.

He nods without saying anything, and has to use actual effort not to run loudly up the stairs for fear of alerting his parents to the fact something is wrong. He makes sure to go as slowly and casually as he can into his bedroom, where he puts down the cup and biscuits only a little too hard.

He hears Phil quietly closing the door behind them, probably following his lead, and something in his chest aches painfully.

“I’m sorry,” he says, the words tumbling out of his mouth as he turned around. “I’m sorry about that, it’s not- it’s just-“

He cuts himself off. It’s not anything. It’s dick-ish. And unfair.

“It’s okay,” says Phil, in a tone that would almost have Dan believing him if he didn’t know for sure that it wasn’t. “Some people… are like that.”

“But they shouldn’t be,” says Dan, and his voice is quieter than he would like, but he can’t change it. “It’s not fair- I’m sorry that you had to hear that. You don’t deserve to hear that.”

“Neither do you,” says Phil, his tone still even and light. “Nobody does. But it happens.”

“That’s a dumb excuse and you know it,” huffs Dan, irritation flaring in his chest, but he steps closer to Phil in spite of it. Or maybe because of it.

“These things take time-“

“To learn not to be an asshole?”

“To adjust to different world views-“

“You can’t just excuse this stuff because you want to be nice, letting jackasses be bigots never made the world any better,” Dan snaps, before immediately regretting it, but Phil looks unphased.

“I’m not excusing it,” he says, his tone still infuriatingly okay. “I told you, you don’t deserve that. But I’m not upset about it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m- I’m-“ Dan lets out a frustrated breath. “Of course that’s what I’m worried about,” he says, and his irritation leaks out into his tone. “I don’t want you to have to deal with that, ever, especially not in my house-“

“I don’t mind,” says Phil, and then he catches Dan’s hands. The contact seems to ground him, separating him from his slew of angered thoughts. “I mean, it sucks to hear that stuff, yeah. But it’s kind of outweighed by getting to see you-“

“You’re a cheesy bastard,” grumbles Dan.

“Anyway, I’m more concerned about you. You have to deal with this all the time.”

Dan wants to deny it, but he can’t. He tightens his grip instinctively. “I…” he falters, the words seeming to get stuck in his throat. It makes him feel agitated, unstable, and he finds himself mentally reaching out, grasping towards the angry thoughts- “I want you to feel accepted in my house, like I do in yours,” he begins, but then Phil shakes his head, cutting him off.

“How do you feel?” He prompts gently, tugging Dan just a big closer. “I want to talk about you with all this. How do you feel?”

Dan hesitates again. “I feel- I-“ he tenses up, and then, as if controlled by some force outside himself-

He shoves Phil backwards into the door, hard enough for the other boy to make a startled sound, and then their lips are together and Dan kisses him with everything he has. It’s angry, hard, aggressive- desperate- every part of Dan wants Phil like it wants air, his hands curling into Phil’s chest like claws, their bodies pressing together like they could merge into one, hearts beating almost in unison, and Phil is kissing him back, rough and messy, Phil’s hands are in his hair, Phil entire being is pressing back against him, and they’re both being too harsh to be skilled, but it feels better than any practiced kiss could possibly be feel-

And then Phil pulls away, chest heaving, and he has to repeat himself several times before Dan can fully register that he’s speaking.

“Dan.”

Dan leans towards him, instinctively, but Phil’s hands tighten around his head, holding him back, and the older boy gives the tiniest shake of his head. It does nothing to dampen the smugness Dan feels looking at how dazed and rough Phil looks, knowing he did that. “What?” He asks finally, and his voice is lower than usual.

Phil swallows. “Not that I don’t… also want…” He clears his throat gently, and his cheeks tinge just a little bit red. “We should talk. About what happened. Properly, I mean.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” says Dan, and it’s more honest than he thought he’d be, and he rests his head on Phil’s shoulder, tucking his nose into the crook of Phil’s neck. He can feel the older boy’s breath hitch, which gives him a nice sense of satisfaction, but unfortunately Phil’s inherent stubbornness has yet to give up.

“We still should, though. At least a bit.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Dan’s voice is just a little muffled by Phil’s skin, and it makes him feel better than it should. Everything about Phil makes him feel better than it should.

“Can I ask questions, then?” Phil asks, and his fingers start tracing shapes down Dan’s bare arm.

There’s a long beat before Dan responds. “Okay,” he says, softy.

“How long has he been saying stuff like that… openly?”

“My whole life. He’s usually very open and accepting about most things. Just not… this.”

“Has he ever considered… you?” Phil asks, and Dan can tell he’s deliberately trying to avoid using the word in his house, and that alone makes him feel almost as bad as the entire concept does.

“No,” he says, too fast, and then he huffs softly and feels Phil shiver beneath him. “Never to my face,” he says, and his voice is quieter this time.

Phil makes a soft humming sound. “I don’t think he would say that stuff if he had,” he says, and Dan doesn’t bother disagreeing. A few seconds pass before Phil speaks again. “It pisses you off that he says that stuff.”

It’s not a question. “Yes,” Dan says anyway.

“Does it… always piss you off?” Phil asks, and this time he sounds more curious. “Only… you kept pushing your anger onto… me being here. Does that make it worse?”

The idea of Phil making anything worse makes Dan straighten up out of surprise, but he can’t deny it. Not fully, at least.

“I’m used to it,” he says, honestly. “The more I learn to… be okay with this, the worse it is to hear him say that stuff. But having you here… it makes me feel-“ he pauses, struggling to find the right words, and Phil gives him a moment. “Ashamed,” he says finally, even though that still doesn’t feel like the right word- but it’s close. “I don’t want you to hear that stuff. I don’t want you to be around it.”

They stay in silence for just long enough for Dan to think he’s said too much, when Phil lets out a long breath. “I get that,” he says, gently. “There’s certain things… I want to protect you from. But it’s not realistic. Not… long-term.”

Dan doesn’t know whether he should be more thrilled about Phil trying to protect him or the suggestion of a ‘long-term’, but he forces himself to focus on the conversation anyway. This is the time to stay in the moment.

“You’re the one place on earth where all of this doesn’t exist anymore,” he says, as honest and open as he can, and Phil grins at him, his face lighting up.

“Good,” he says gently, finally letting his fingers lie still. “I want to do that for you. I want to… be that for you.”

“You are.”

There’s a few seconds of silence, but this time they’re both drinking it in, too busy existing to speak.

Finally, Phil sighs gently. “Is this what you want to do?” He asks curiously, raising his eyebrow. “Stand here awkwardly against the wall while our tea gets cold?”

Dan knows Phil is suggesting they sit down on the bed, finally get round to those movies they were about to watch. He also doesn’t care, and there’s a flair of confidence building up in him.

“I want,” he begins slowly, his voice dropping lower again as he locks eyes with Phil, “to be with you right now. Just you. No house. No family. No dickheads.”

“I am a pretty amazing person, but I don’t actually have the power to make a whole house disappear,” says Phil, and Dan can���t tell if his dedication to being sly and making Dan spell things out was more frustrating or endearing in that very moment.

He choses endearing, for his own sanity, and leans back into Phil, so their chests touch. “I want to lock the door, pretend no one else exists, and just be with you- openly.”

Phil’s mock-innocent façade slips into a grin, and Dan hears the lock click softly before the other boy’s hands come up to cup his face. “That, I think I can manage,” he says, before pulling Dan towards him-

Their mouths collided messily, a blur of heat and movement and sparks where their bare skin occasionally touched as they tugged awkwardly at each other’s clothes-

And this time Dan breaks it, just briefly, letting Phil slide down to start pressing kisses to his shoulders. “But quietly,” Dan says, already breathless. “Openly, but… quietly. Obviously.”

“Obviously,” agrees Phil, voice muffled, and a second later he pulls his own t-shirt over his head and tosses it aside.

Dan tooks advantage of his brief distraction to press their lips together again.

Together. However quiet or subtle they were… they were still doing this. And he didn’t feel a single ounce of shame, whatever his father might be saying downstairs.

He didn’t need to.

He tries to think- think back to the stuff he’s read online, about depression and anxious feelings and dealing with all the bad stuff in life. There’s a word- two words- that always comes to mind when he thinks of Phil.

Safe space.