#anyone can cook?

[thestarlightsapphic]

Firefighters probably hate me. Because after a couple years of college apartment living, I have simply stopped caring when the fire alarm goes off. I don’t even flinch and will watch and people file outside in a hurry like the building is going down. I am comfy cozy, snug like a bug, and I am not getting up because someone doesn’t know how to operate the stove or god forbid the MICROWAVE. I’m throwing the covers over my head and going the fuck back to bed

My girlfriend stayed the night once when the alarm went off and I was literally like ‘do not even bother getting up’ and the only reason I did get up and leave was at her insistence.

My desire for a good night of sleep outweighs my survival instinct by now

[tazuransi]

nostalgia

[seattlewalls]

[montahafamily]

🛑Please help urgently🚨🍉🙏💔

I ask your humanity to stand by me and my family 🙏🍉

Hi, I'm Mataha from Gaza. Please help me and my family escape to safety. Your donation will save my life, my sisters' life and my parents' life. If everyone donates even 30 euros of basic necessities, it will help save our lives. Thank you in advance.🍉 https://www.gofundme.com/f/building-a-house-struggle-for-survival

✅️Vetted by✅️ @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #80 )

Please friends help me and my family, donate and share for me, I still haven't exceeded 4% of my goal😞💔🍉

"Please, my friends, donate or share... I really feel helpless. The last donation was 5 hours ago, only €5. I hope you won't leave us to suffer alone..."😓😓🙏🙏🍉💔

@dirhwangdaseul @b0nkcreat @tamamita @chokulit @3000s @apas-95 @pitbolshevik @ot3 @punkitt-is-here @vampiricvenus @turtletoria @paper-mario-wiki @valtsv @omegaversereloaded @i-am-a-fish @catsgifsarefun @spongebobssquarepants @vamprisms @postanagramgenerator @feluka @nyancrimew @90-ghost @beserkerjewel @neechees @memingursa @certifiedsophist @afro-elf @11thsense @sawasawako @spacebeyonce @skipppppy @beetledrink @schoolhater @fools-and-perverts2 @dailyquests @evillesbianvillain @wolfertinger666 @taffybuns @ankle-beez @sabertoothwalrus @meshugenist @isuggestforcefem @yekkes @hotvampireadjacent @marxism-transgenderism @triptrippy

✅️Vetted by✅️ @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #80 )

[deadboyswalking]

Imagine it's like, 10 years later and not only does Sanji realize that Zoro is kind of his best friend, but he also spends all of his time with him??? And he kind of loves him??? And in all of their time together, Sanji has rarely sought out other companionship (rarer over time) and Zoro has never seemed interested in it???

"OH MY GOD!"

"It's not a big deal, cook."

"I HAVEN'T SPENT A SINGLE DAY WITHOUT YOU IN SEVEN YEARS."

"And you've gotten on my nerves every single one of those 2,556 days."

"WE SHARE A BED!"

"I'm almost always on night watch and you're up before anyone else. Waste of space to each have our own."

"BUT WE SLEEP IN IT TOGETHER HALF THE TIME!"

"At least you don't kick in your sleep. And you always bitch about being cold when you're alone, so I'm not seeing the problem here."

"OH MY GOD, ARE WE DATING? WHAT IS THIS? WHAT ARE WE???"

[mooncrisisdepression]

The fandom collectively sort of agreed that Zelda was a bad cook without a lot of evidence

That was until Age of Calamity came along and actually proved the fandom right!

However, there is a side quest in Tears of the Kingdom that implies she can cook actually

And the only reasonable explanation to this is that Link taught her, obviously

[theghooligan]

alicent *externally*: i’m fine, i promise—

alicent *internally*:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

jin guangshan and lan qiren yaoi perhaps? since their shapes create a perfect balance?

Two old men perform worlds first successful 96.

[puppppppppy]

whatever. go my scarab

ive been watching scruffys pikmin 4 playthrough (go check it out!!!!)

[a2zillustration]

You were right and she didn't!! (Avarelle loves Croissant very much but every time they come home there’s some New Weird Thing to go over-)

🥐 Croissant Adventures Masterpost 🥐

[zivazivc]

“Your hair…

“Les…

“Leslie.”

“Mmhm?”

Les barely stirred in his sleep and the iridescent golden speckles in his dreads already started to dull and the rest of his hair started to darken. It was as if a large cloud had just passed over them and blocked out the sun during this uneventful, pleasant afternoon nap.

Floyd snapped out of his surprise, but only partially as he fisted the desaturating hair in a thoughtless attempt to hold onto the fleeting moment. But much like sand, the harder he squeezed the quicker the color and shine drained between his fingers as Les roused.

Sensing Floyd’s distress, he quickly lifted his head.

“What’s wrong?”

Floyd felt tongue-tied, still stunned from what he had just witnessed. He was staring at Les—the familiar dark-haired Les that he knew all the quirks and details of better than the back of his own hand—, and who he was now trying to picture with the out-of-nowhere sparkles and saturated brightness. But he hadn’t even noticed the change appearing, and by the time he realized what he was seeing, it was already gone.

“Your dreads…” he finally blurted out, “they were golden.”

The crease of worry between Les’s brows smoothed out into a more relaxed look of confusion.

“It’s just a dirty yellow-green color,” he said while glancing to the right, at his three dreads flopping over the side of his face. “But I guess it sometimes looks a bit like gold in the—”

“No, I mean for real. And your hair was bright,” Floyd cut in, “like, as bright as mine.”

Les hesitated, trying to process Floyd’s steady wide-eyed expression, before pulling a strand of his dark purple hair in front of his face. He inspected it carefully but decided it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary the way Floyd claimed.

“My hair’s always been this shade. Are you feeling okay?”

[dungeonmechoui]

Unprofessional yuri save me.. save me unprofessional yuri.. (image description in alt text)

[tls12lessthan3]

hmmmmmmm. something something yoo joonghyuk dragging around the bodies of all his past lives with every step he takes, something something his old companions looking at him and searching for a man who no longer exists except in their memories, something something the old you is dead but sometimes you can feel their corpse breathing down your neck <- this applies to being trans as well

[kaiserouo]

i love 1999 gears

also the version w/o gears because apparently i've never made a portrait for normal version excalibur

btw this is for the 1st option of this

[sexhaver]

if i ever become religious again, i will solely be interpreting the nature of God by consulting media produced by terminally online and clearly mentally unwell people. think Gene Ray's Time Cube, Terry Davis's TempleOS, and Bob Hickman's... entire online presence

Bob Hickman in particular is fascinating to me for a lot of reasons. first off, his mantra has wormed its way into my brain and i find myself thinking it at the most random times: "God Entered My Body Like A Body My Same Size" tickles something deep in the reptilian corners of my neocortex. also it helps that he spreads this message by making literally tens of thousands of different accounts across different websites, cold calling random phone numbers, and driving this car around Indianapolis:

what really gets me about his delivery of the mantra is how rote it seems to him. he rattles it off at the beginning of every single one of his video posts, but it always seems like he's a bit distracted and just getting through it for the ten thousandth time so he can say what he wants to. he says it the same way we said the pledge of allegiance in middle school (USAmerican moment), like someone or something is forcing him to.

what intrigues me most, though, is the way he talks about receiving the Holy Spirit. in sharp contrast to the official party line that God is good and being blessed is a positive thing, Bob seems to treat God entering him as a great burden, like some alien consciousness is forcing itself inside. God Entered My Body Like A Body My Same Size, so now it's twice as cramped. God as a parasite; a freeloader; a body snatcher. this is the kind of heresy and blasphemy i can get behind

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

Is it bad that I want to see more of that Were-Doc Au?

the people love mad scientist turned big wet dog