#any doctors diagnosis for me

[milfygerard]

Not to tell you how to run your own blog but I loved the discussions full of nuance and would love to see them more often. But also on the other hand I know people who did that often enough that they ended up a target of hate too. Apologies for sending the super chaotic album analysis ask, I was running on fumes too, it was 5am and I hadn't gone to bed yet. The winter months come and I always have trouble waking up before the sun sets, and falling asleep before the sunrise.

Anyway I am not diagnosed with anything, never really could be with where I am, even more so as a woman (we don't even have ADHD meds, those with a diagnosis travel abroad just to buy them) but I have an inkling I might be ND because of many factors but mainly due to feeling like I'm an alien my entire life which no one seems to understand. I've thought about going abroad to get a diagnosis and then I read about what they were doing to ND people during covid and I went fuck that I'll stay wondering and alive. As for Taylor I think the biggest pointer for me was seeing her directing Me! and saying she needs to do less "dead face" or whatever she called it when looking at the footage. I went, oh I know that, it's the thing I also tell myself to do when surrounded by people. Later on I learned why that might be a thing I do lmaooo

the absolute dread i felt getting this anon notif like oh no...it begins

I appreciate the very valid concerns, ive seen how swifties can react to and treat blogs that post too much about subjects they don't like or see as valid. I also have mutuals ive seen get on the wrong end of swiftie harassment and it definitely seems overwhelming at the very least. I have a bit of luck/disguise on my end because ive kind of deduced that swifties seem to not care too much about me if they arent mutuals bc i am not technically a swiftie blog. She's definitely the special interest ive been talking about the most, but I don't post about her solely, I don't have her as my icon or in my url (girard <3) or mentioned anywhere that i'm a swift enjoyer except for me tagging her posts for mutuals who don't wanna see it. My actual posts that I write about her rarely get a Ton of notes and i make them pretty sparsely while also talking about and reblogging a ton of other random shit. I think this helps lessen the likeliness that I'll get someone who like...obsessively reads my blog to point out how stupid dumb and stupid my takes are and get attached to me in like a lolcow sense of trying to provoke me into arguing or entertaining them. If i do start getting some of that, I'll probably just turn off anon and asks for awhile and eventually theyll forget I exist or maybe even block me, imagine that <3

For the second part, I do encourage you to look into whatever neurodivergencies you think you may have even if a literal doctors diagnosis isnt a possibility! Part of the reason im pretty comfortable with tossing around words like autism is because I don't see professional diagnosis as a be all end all, nor do I think its bad to give yourself a "wrong" diagnosis while trying to understand yourself. Even if you don't end up identifying with autistm, I think being around autistic circles and learning about coping mechanisms and thought processes for other neurodivergencies can be so helpful for understanding yourself and your brain, and can bring really helpful. Like, I don't personally have DID or severe psychosis but talking to and reading write ups from mutuals has let me learn about them as like mundane mental health issues/NDs that anyone could have as well as issues i have had in the past with mild hallucinations or conceptions of personality. Most mental illnesses and NDs are treated very strangely and cruelly in general society and are considered aberrant or inherently bad or painful, but these are normal and often neutral (or positive! Which is often ignored or not considered) aspects of peoples lives.

If you are curious about self diagnosis, the most reliable and popular test online is the RAADS-R questionnaire which theres a great version of on embrace autism which i also definitely recommend scrolling through. They also have interesting articles, alternate tests and articles and tests for other neurodivergencies like OCD, which really opened my eyes to the likeliness that I've been suffering with undiagnosed OCD for pretty much my entire life. Theres also an autism forum if you want a broader spread of information and advice that might not be immediately accessible to you. I didnt touch on taylor much in this response (the dead face thing is extremely real, that and her talking about deciding to make the blood in anti hero purple glitter glue because she doesnt feel like a real normal human being in that directors on directors interview) but I do hope the other stuff is helpful and not too rambly <3 autism forever

[pyrus-salicifolia]

“Normal” test results are not the relief people think they are. When you wake up in pain and continue to be in pain for hours every day and your tests come back normal you don’t stop being in pain.

[crescenthistory]

hi my darlings 🤍 sorry for disappearing on you — a lot happened at once. often i turn to writing when life gets tough, but now i’ve just needed a breather.

i’ve just been hospitalised for a while because of my chronic illness and disability, which was hard, but at least i’m getting the help i need. i’m officially back on the streets! the downside is i’m now too ill to work and am scrambling to get some sort of financial support to pay my rent lols:,)

my lovely lovely dog and companion also passed away. she is one of the best things to have happened to me 🫂 i will miss her always.

i’m alright and will be back whenever i get my bearings — i just had to get off any and all social media for a while. i’m doing better and have thankfully been able to defer my exams, so i’ve only got to crank out some essays, which i can do from my bed 🙏

genuinely from the bottom of my heart, thank you to all the people who reached out! and to the people who kept interacting as if i was here<3 it truly means the world to be faced with persistent compassion like this, all my love goes out to you<33 take care of yourselves 🫶 big hugs xx

[ohhhcrud]

will wood miku and shayfer james teto

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

It’s moments like these that I fear I’m not built for this whole college thing

[subjectseventeen]

the crazy thing about gettin diagnosed with shit is that it doesn't even help you unless you're trying to get some sort of very specific accommodation and it usually just makes your life harder/worse! so when ppl get mad at you for not being professionally diagnosed with whatever mental health problem, just remind them that RFK is trying to make a big list of autistic people in the US, and man that cannot be for a good reason!

[impzone]

hm. after all this time i still get angry about this so i think it’s about time i make a comic about how i feel about personality disorders

[void-of-unparalleled-chaos]

The Healthcare horrors persist

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[anomalousmancunt]

begging USians to realize their experiences are not only not universal, but extremely rare in comparison to basically the rest of the world. Brits too, actually. specially regarding disability and chronic illness.

[toomanyacronyms]

Here's how I'm asking my doctor for a wheelchair at my next appointment: "I need a wheelchair inside my home so that way I can continue to not need one outside my home"

Maybe that will get them to realize how serious my symptoms are and how stupid making me leave the house with a rollator I have said doesn't help multiple times is.

[stepfordgoth]

Things probably are not supposed to be this difficult actually. I think something is wrong with meeeee

[oysterie]

should i just spend the 40 bucks and speak to a psychologist or councelor or whatever and get over myself -_-

[snaggletoothedbastard]

I have been diagnosed with autism yayyy!

[unityrain24]

why... why am i just not good enough anymore? For the past few years, none of my art has won. For the past few years, I haven't had any friends. For the past few years, no one will actually give me an actual official diagnosis on a mental/physical problems. Is every facet of me not good enough? Am i just not good enough?

[tyrianlynch]

The pain has been bad. I dreamt I was diagnosed with cancer and I celebrated. Things are looking grim.

[tetrachromate]

sort of sad and angry to find that I can't even do pushups because of my stupid wrist