#any doctors diagnosis for me

[milfygerard]

Not to tell you how to run your own blog but I loved the discussions full of nuance and would love to see them more often. But also on the other hand I know people who did that often enough that they ended up a target of hate too. Apologies for sending the super chaotic album analysis ask, I was running on fumes too, it was 5am and I hadn't gone to bed yet. The winter months come and I always have trouble waking up before the sun sets, and falling asleep before the sunrise.

Anyway I am not diagnosed with anything, never really could be with where I am, even more so as a woman (we don't even have ADHD meds, those with a diagnosis travel abroad just to buy them) but I have an inkling I might be ND because of many factors but mainly due to feeling like I'm an alien my entire life which no one seems to understand. I've thought about going abroad to get a diagnosis and then I read about what they were doing to ND people during covid and I went fuck that I'll stay wondering and alive. As for Taylor I think the biggest pointer for me was seeing her directing Me! and saying she needs to do less "dead face" or whatever she called it when looking at the footage. I went, oh I know that, it's the thing I also tell myself to do when surrounded by people. Later on I learned why that might be a thing I do lmaooo

the absolute dread i felt getting this anon notif like oh no...it begins

I appreciate the very valid concerns, ive seen how swifties can react to and treat blogs that post too much about subjects they don't like or see as valid. I also have mutuals ive seen get on the wrong end of swiftie harassment and it definitely seems overwhelming at the very least. I have a bit of luck/disguise on my end because ive kind of deduced that swifties seem to not care too much about me if they arent mutuals bc i am not technically a swiftie blog. She's definitely the special interest ive been talking about the most, but I don't post about her solely, I don't have her as my icon or in my url (girard <3) or mentioned anywhere that i'm a swift enjoyer except for me tagging her posts for mutuals who don't wanna see it. My actual posts that I write about her rarely get a Ton of notes and i make them pretty sparsely while also talking about and reblogging a ton of other random shit. I think this helps lessen the likeliness that I'll get someone who like...obsessively reads my blog to point out how stupid dumb and stupid my takes are and get attached to me in like a lolcow sense of trying to provoke me into arguing or entertaining them. If i do start getting some of that, I'll probably just turn off anon and asks for awhile and eventually theyll forget I exist or maybe even block me, imagine that <3

For the second part, I do encourage you to look into whatever neurodivergencies you think you may have even if a literal doctors diagnosis isnt a possibility! Part of the reason im pretty comfortable with tossing around words like autism is because I don't see professional diagnosis as a be all end all, nor do I think its bad to give yourself a "wrong" diagnosis while trying to understand yourself. Even if you don't end up identifying with autistm, I think being around autistic circles and learning about coping mechanisms and thought processes for other neurodivergencies can be so helpful for understanding yourself and your brain, and can bring really helpful. Like, I don't personally have DID or severe psychosis but talking to and reading write ups from mutuals has let me learn about them as like mundane mental health issues/NDs that anyone could have as well as issues i have had in the past with mild hallucinations or conceptions of personality. Most mental illnesses and NDs are treated very strangely and cruelly in general society and are considered aberrant or inherently bad or painful, but these are normal and often neutral (or positive! Which is often ignored or not considered) aspects of peoples lives.

If you are curious about self diagnosis, the most reliable and popular test online is the RAADS-R questionnaire which theres a great version of on embrace autism which i also definitely recommend scrolling through. They also have interesting articles, alternate tests and articles and tests for other neurodivergencies like OCD, which really opened my eyes to the likeliness that I've been suffering with undiagnosed OCD for pretty much my entire life. Theres also an autism forum if you want a broader spread of information and advice that might not be immediately accessible to you. I didnt touch on taylor much in this response (the dead face thing is extremely real, that and her talking about deciding to make the blood in anti hero purple glitter glue because she doesnt feel like a real normal human being in that directors on directors interview) but I do hope the other stuff is helpful and not too rambly <3 autism forever

[chubbychiquita]

potentially helpful spreadsheet of fat friendly healthcare providers listed by city ☺️👍

[videoworm]

Hot tip:

If mental illness doesn't get treated properly / don't improve and festers for years it can turn into a personality disorder. Or any kind of trauma disorder. Or whatever. Point is it festers.

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

The Healthcare horrors persist

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[demento-mori]

Now... how do i phrase "i have depression and maybe some kind of personality disorder, and i need antidepressants now or else im gonna hurt myself" in a way where my doctor will think that it was his idea, and that he came to that conclusion all by himself, so that he'll actually take me seriously and not just try and pawn me off to a school counsellor again

[anomalousmancunt]

begging USians to realize their experiences are not only not universal, but extremely rare in comparison to basically the rest of the world. Brits too, actually. specially regarding disability and chronic illness.

[paranormeow7]

steaming hot take but there are just some things self diagnosed people just can’t talk over professionally diagnosed people about

[curarems]

Exam season is great at reminding me why I should really get myself checked for adhd

[oysterie]

should i just spend the 40 bucks and speak to a psychologist or councelor or whatever and get over myself -_-

[joyridingmp3]

have to wake up early tomorrow to drop my sister at the station, then get my ultrasound done, and then go to my job interview after. feels like a good night to listen to the cure

[snaggletoothedbastard]

I have been diagnosed with autism yayyy!

[can-of-w0rmz]

Sometimes after months and months of stressed induced illness progressively getting worse while feeling very alone and isolated, you’ve just got to read about two 18th century Swiss gays, one of which facing months and months of stress induced illness while NOT feeling very alone and isolated.

Thank god after tomorrow I’m off on study leave, I don’t think I can force myself through one more school day while progressively getting more and more out of it mentally and generally physically worse.

[pastrycreamsicle]

is really the only solution to burnout is to just stop?? Its just not viable in the world we created and it's destroying me

[unityrain24]

why... why am i just not good enough anymore? For the past few years, none of my art has won. For the past few years, I haven't had any friends. For the past few years, no one will actually give me an actual official diagnosis on a mental/physical problems. Is every facet of me not good enough? Am i just not good enough?

[wtf-amiru]

y’all I finally got my official adhd diagnosis today and I’m still too excited about it to sleep

[tyrianlynch]

The pain has been bad. I dreamt I was diagnosed with cancer and I celebrated. Things are looking grim.