#anti ramon diaz

[cassidyrivers]

I don't know if someone has already spoken this theory in existence (I'm new in the fandom but I'm sure someone's already thought about it at least), but I had a horrible thought that is now basically a headcanon for me.

Say Eddie was openly bi/pan/demi/queer in his teens to his family for one reason or another with their reactions varying. What if when Chris was conceived, one of the reasons the Diaz parents were so insistent that Eddie and Shannon get married was to get their son in a "straight" relationship? I mean, they disliked/hated Shannon and made her life hell, so one more reason for the pressure applied could be that?

I hate my mind for going there, but honestly, I see it from them.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Eddie Diaz's "Ghost of a Second Chance"

IMO, in 7x7, Eddie Diaz will have a chance to see or hear how the life he always believed he was "supposed" to have with a wife and kids is not the life he's been WANTING. Based on his heart eyes and the way he's used Chris as a shield for his heart, his ideal life includes a husband (Buck) and their son (Chris).

Be clear, I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE!

I waited to post this because when season 7 started, it was unclear where the show was going to take Eddie's storyline and it appears the redirection of it that happened prior to 7x4 and 7x5 was not the original plan since it's been confirmed via interviews that Eddie was supposed to be with T*mmy instead of Buck. Also, now that it's confirmed Shannon Diaz will make a return in a future season 7 episode as either a ghost or a hallucination or whatever for Eddie, I decided I was ready to post this.

At the end of season 6 when Eddie asked Maris*l out on a date, I thought about the way the narrative has always shown Shannon is the only person who can help Eddie understand Chris doesn't need another mother. He's been carrying the weight and guilt of their relationship around with him for years because he thought him going to the Army broke her when in fact, they were two broken teenagers who were in over their heads and they were so busy trying to mimic the lives they saw Eddie's parents living that they never discussed what either of them wanted out of life.

Unpopular Opinion: Eddie and Shannon were NOT this perfect high school aged Romeo and Juliet type of romantic couple some people keep trying to make them out to be because the truth is they weren't soulmates and they weren't compatible. While it's true they were best friends, they were never on the same page and they didn't know how to communicate. Instead of talking to each other, all they did was argue and have sex but matured relationships consist of more than just sex, hence the 7x5 depiction of Eddie's relationship with Maris*l. They don't know each other and the episode title, "You don't know me" confirmed it.

Full Disclosure: I'm not a Shannon Diaz fan and it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH BUDDIE! It's strictly because she ABANDONED Chris, her biological son and the fact that she was a teen mother doesn't have anything to do with it because it does NOT excuse her behaviors. Teenage girls who were/are younger than her don't/didn't run out on their kids just because they need/needed time. If she didn't want to be with Eddie anymore that's fine but to leave and not attempt to contact her son for almost two years was NOT ok. She wrote Chris a letter that she wasn't even sure she would send but what happened to a phone call or her sending him a "Hey Chris, I love you and I miss you" email? Even back then there were too many ways she could have contacted him but the CANON FACTS are SHE CHOSE NOT TO. If Eddie wouldn't have called her to interview at Durand she would have stayed gone. Don't get it twisted because she was getting ready to leave Chris again so people should stop romanticizing their relationship and truthfully, so does Eddie. For CANON proof of these claims, all viewers have to do is LISTEN to the things she said to him in 2x17 when they were at the beach and when they were at the restaurant.

Eddie's my favorite character but he's not blameless in any of this either and by his own admission to Buck in 2x10, he left them first. But the difference is he made the DECISION to leave El Paso so he could provide a better life for him and his son even though his toxic mother, Helena (I'm not including Ramon because he had a redemption arc) offered to take Chris from him. He could have left Chris there but HE DIDN'T. He even told Shannon that being Chris' father taught him more about being a man than war ever could.

One last thing, Shannon and Maddie ARE NOT THE SAME! Maddie didn't abandon Jee-Yun, she left because she thought she was a danger to her and she went to get help. She wasn't in Boston galivanting around, shopping and partying like it was 1999, she went to a center for women to figure out what was wrong with her and why she felt like she did then she continued with therapy.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program...

While I don't like Shannon's actions, I do believe she's probably the only person who can help Eddie understand that he doesn't have to marry a "woman" to be happy. Why do I believe this? Well, they were best friends and they were married which means she knows things about Eddie that no one else does. She was the first woman he "pulled" away from and since they were separated for a long time while he was in the Army and after she left them, it's likely she figured some things out about what he really wants that neither of them was ready to confront.

Since 2x1, Eddie's story has been told in bits and pieces and while a lot of people romanticized what he had with her, I didn't because they were young and neither one of them knew what they wanted. Did he love her? He said he did but IMO he loved her as much as an 18-year-old could but I don't believe he was in love with her. Did she love him? She said she did but just like him, based solely on her actions, she didn't know what love was either.

Reminder, the only reason Eddie proposed they reconcile in 2x17 was because she thought she was pregnant again. He said he was looking for a sign and he thought her begin pregnant was it but before that he didn't want to do it. If you don't believe it, rewatch 2x17 and LISTEN to the conversation he had with Bobby. Bobby was the one who told him he would be a great dad to a second child but Eddie wasn't so sure. At dinner, when Shannon said, "I'm not pregnant", he paused then responded, "That doesn't change anything" but she rebutted with, "It does for me".

It appears she finally admitted to him that the life they were trying to live was NOT the one either of them wanted but he wasn't ready to admit it. He was using Chris as a shield like he always does and he was hoping her love for their son would be enough for them to reconcile and continue doing whatever they were doing. He said something similar to Ana when he broke up with her in 5x3. He said, "Chris loves you so much" but he never said he did and now he's trying to figure out where Maris*l fits since she babysat twice while he was flying in helicopters going to fight matches in Las Vegas and to karaoke with TK.

Believe it or not, Shannon was getting ready to leave again. If she wasn't then she wouldn't have brought up the letter she wrote to Chris. Also, she said she was still learning how to be someone's mother (notice she didn't say Chris' mother she said someone's) and she said maybe someday, she could learn how to be somebody's wife (not Eddie's wife but somebody's). Furthermore, when they were at the beach, she asked Eddie, "Is that all I am to you, Christopher's mother?" but he responded, "Shannon?" and deflected the conversation. Then she said if that's what it is then it's ok. She proceeded and asked him what he wanted and all he said was "All of this" with a hand wave out towards the ocean. He never admitted what he wanted and it appears the reason was because he didn't want to say.

In 2x7, while they were arguing, Eddie asked her, "What didn't I give you?" and her response was "You!" Therefore, Eddie always kept a piece of himself away from her and she admitted it to him but he wanted it to work probably for the wrong reasons.

REMINDER: In 2x17, Shannon was the one who said they needed to get a DIVORCE! She knew they needed to move on but Eddie was the one who said, "But we're still married". It appears he was the one trying to hold onto the life he believed they were supposed to have and I think it goes back to the example he saw from his parents.

Here's the thing, in 6x16, Eddie admitted he didn't propose to Shannon, he just said, "Let's get married" after they found out she was pregnant. They were best friends in high school and they started an instant family that neither of them were ready for. When she abruptly died, he didn't have a chance to discuss all the things they'd left unsaid. That's why Shannon has to be the one to tell him that it's ok for him to want who he wants. Who's that? BUCK!

Shannon vs. Buck

Please understand the show has illustrated it time and time again that Eddie wants to marry Buck so they can raise Chris together. If that wasn't the case, then Buck wouldn't have been included in Eddie's flashbacks in 3x15 while he was trapped in the well as many times as he was. He was shown with Chris more than anyone else which means Eddie thinks about the life he wants to have with Buck A LOT!

Additionally, in 7x1, Buck, Eddie and Shannon all sat on Chris' bed in the same spot to illustrate how they're his three parents while the babysitter (Maris*l) was nowhere to be found (related post linked here).

Also, Shannon's romantic relationship with Eddie and her parental one with Chris were constantly contrasted with the relationships Eddie and Chris have with Buck and Buck has always been shown to be the perfect match for Eddie. Reminder, he agreed to have Buck's back in 2x1 but Shannon told him in 2x7 that he never had her back.

Eddie needs to HEAR he can move on from the first person he married from someone other than the people who've been saying it to him. Also, in the past, someone's ALWAYS told him what to do regarding his relationships. He was "strongly encouraged" to marry Shannon because he got her pregnant. His parents and Bobby told him it was time to move on from her in season 4 (YES! His parents did too because reminder, they stopped by their house to eat on their way back to L.A. after they left Austin, TX [in the LS crossover episode, Eddie said it to Judd] and two episodes later, in 4x6, Bobby told him he needed to move on). Then in 6x14, Tia Pepa pushed him to start dating again even though he tried to tell her he wasn't ready.

The point of this post is Shannon is probably the ONLY person who can show or tell Eddie that the life he thought they should have had, wouldn't have ever been because there would have always been someone or something that was pulling him away from her the same way it did when they were married 👀.

It appears Shannon will be Eddie's "Ghost of a Second Chance" but the question is, will her reappearance as a ghost or whatever for the second time in season 7 help Eddie admit the person he's in love with is Buck? Only the showrunner, writers and producers know the answer to that question.

[consumedbyfeels]

I just love how i see all this hate towards Tommy Kinard one of the most loyal, kind, genuine, and good people. Instead of towards Gerrard who is playing prejudice bingo and winning. This man is a bigot in all the ways you can be but we don't hate him. No we hate Tommy who is one of the most genuinely good people ever. Please make it make sense. Point your hate is a valid direction please.

I've seen people hate more on Tommy than Margaret and Philip Buckley. I know they got a redemption arc but they deserve some hate as well. I would argue they were forgiven to easily but that's me.

Hate Councilwoman Ortiz for taking Mara away from Hen and Karen and revoking there foster licence.

Hate Ramon and Helena Diaz for instead of calling Eddie just jumping on a plane and then proceeding to take his son with them. Granted in was what Chris wanted but I wonder if given time to calm down and without the Diaz's there he would have decided to stay. Maybe Buck could have talked his feeling through with him and he might have changed him mind if he wasn't thinking about thing so emotionally fuelled and impulsively, granted his is a teenager and that's kinda what they do, so maybe not.

Point is hate someone who deserves to be hated not Tommy who does not deserve it.

Most of the hate towards Tommy isn't even about Tommy anyway. It's the toxic Buddie shippers who hate that Buck has a boyfriend who is not Eddie. I'm not saying all Buddie shippers are toxic cuz some of y'all are fine but the ones who are loudest on my dash are fucking toxic.

There is absolutely nothing to hate Tommy Kinard for. And Buck and Eddie are just friends, Eddie is straight. Ryan has said that Eddie is Hetrosexual and there is nothing to indicate otherwise in cannon. Buck is dating Tommy and thriving. Eddie is happy for them. You are seriously going to have a problem with the first relationship Buck has ever had that is genuinely good just because it's a guy who isn't Eddie. Come on people enjoy your ship that's fine. But don't be a dick about ours.

And please remember to tag your anti tommy kinard posts with #antitommykinard. Blocking the tag only helps if people use it.

[dreamcrash]

SOPHIA ISABEL DIAZ

fandom 9-1-1 age: 21+ birthplace: el paso, texas current location: new york city species: human occupation: dance instructor gender/pronouns: cis female, she/her sexual orientation: lesbian canon relations: e.ddie d.iaz ( brother ), adriana diaz ( sister / roseypeached ), helena diaz ( mother / alive ), ramon diaz ( father / alive ) relations: gabrielle scott ( best friend / girlfriend ) pets: 3 cats ( whiskers, dr milkshake, princess diana ) personality & more: when sophia walks into a room everyone looks up. she knows what she wants and she's going to get it. she can be manipulative and sneaky. if she's asking you about something then don't lie because she already knows the answers. she's the youngest so she was ignored a lot by everyone but eddie ( hes her favorite, don't tell him that ) because everyone was so busy by the time she was born. she can come across as a little intense and crazy and that's because she is. she is loud. she is independent even if she can come across as needy. she loves to start a project and never finish it. she feels very lost most of the time and she doesn't feel she has a true identity. fun fact: for some reason sophia knows the lyrics to any song ever and will just start singing no matter where she is with no care in the world for who she's with or who's around her. and she is not very good. at all. open to shipping ! affiliated/exclusives: adriana ( roseypeached), buck ( 118buckleys )

sophia was always very popular. she was head cheerleader in high school. she dated the football captain when she thought she was straight. she was prom queen twice. she did dance her entire life so she was always very focused on that. she moved to new york shortly after graduating and started doing professional dance. she loved it so much. she was very mad at eddie when he went to war because she's anti war and also she didn't approve of him leaving shannon to take care of a baby. they eventually do make up and she gets over it.

when eddie get's shot in season 4, at that same time sophia is in an accident and loses her leg. she doesn't tell her family when it's happening because she feels like a burden. one day she just shows up with a prosthetic leg like the drama queen she is. because sophia can't dance anymore that causes a lot of depression. eventually after physical therapy she can at least do dance instruction and teach classes. she does that and it's not what she dreamed of doing but she does enjoy it.

her roommate and best friend took care of her while she was healing from getting her leg amputated and she falls really hard in love with her but doesn't think she loves her back. also dealing with the realization she's a lesbian because she had no idea. no one told her.

also the last thing in the world she wants is a baby and she's been that way her entire life. it causes a lot of problems between her and her mother. her relationship isn't very good with either helena or ramon. she's pissed off at ramon for never being around and she's mad at helena for well, everything but mostly the whole no baby situation.

pinterest

[stagefoureddiediaz]

I received an ask about if Eddies trip to Texas might be because of a family tragedy situation similar to Bucks rather than a queer awakening story and my response got long so I thought it would be better as an actual post rather than an answer to an ask!

My opinion is that its very unlikely that thats the route they'll take - simply for the reason that I can't see the writers repeating a storyline such as Bucks secret family tragedy - especially so close to Bucks (and Maddie's) own family tragedy which is still very much playing out - we've seen some of how the family secret has weighed on Maddie in 5b - how it impacted on her and her own mental health struggles and we really haven't explored how this new knowledge is affecting Buck. Buck is a master of disguise in many ways in that we actually know very little of what is going on with him - he said it himself in season 4 'I hide my true feelings from others' and Buck is very much doing that in season 5 - Hen is probably the person he's revealed the most to and even that is some what superficial. The fact that Buck has spent the season trying to 'fix' everyone else's problems - Maddie, Chimney, Eddie and Chris (and even Taylor) has allowed him to deflect and avoid dealing with his own mental health - I'm fully expecting season 6 to explore this. Once everyone else finds themselves in better places and therefore Buck can't keep 'fixing' everyone else to avoid fixing himself he's going to have to turn his fixing skills inward and I am of the opinion that talking about the shooting with Eddie is actually the first step on that path.

So that is why I think we have to look elsewhere for Eddies story. Then there is also the fact that the synopsis specified his father - not his family in general, or his parents, but his father. If it was a family tragedy then we would expect them to state it in the synopsis. Instead of ‘Meanwhile, Eddie visits Texas, where he attempts to reconcile with his father’ we would have something like ‘Meanwhile, Eddie visits Texas to deal with a family emergency’ or words to that effect. 

Mexican American families tend to have a fairly defined family dynamic with a set of expectations that everyone is expected to conform to - the patriarch sets the rules and the matriarch enforces - it can be very traditionalist and tends to play to old school gender norms - and Eddie as an only son would definitely be expected to follow his fathers example and not step outside of the narrow lines. He would be expected to ‘be a man’ - not show his emotions and provide for his family. We’ve seen him speak about it - ‘if I hadn’t joined the army I’d still be working with my pop’ and we also know that Ramon was proud of Eddie for serving - in Eddie begins we see him reading the silver star certificate - its implied that this is not for the first time and you can hear the pride in his voice - Eddie is described as a hero - he claims its what anyone would’ve done but Ramon contradicts him saying that ‘if that were true everyone would be walking around with a silver star.’ 

All of this gives us hints at the complexity of that dynamic - Eddie has conformed to family expectation and its made his father proud but it was actually an incredibly  traumatic experience for him - one that continues to be as we’re seeing play out. It goes to suggest that this is something Eddie has been doing repeatedly - conforming but it continuously compounding the trauma and that it is all connected to his father. 

We've also been given enough textual hints this season to be able to figure some things out - the 911 writers are very careful about what words they choose to have their characters say - the scrip has to do a lot of work and so every word is important. Therefore the fact that the word 'repression' was used during Eddies health scare is important, the choice for Eddie to say 'the first woman i've wanted to spend time with' and many other examples are all loaded and designed to give viewers clues if they’re paying attention as to where the story is heading - there is a reason we’ve all been speculating about Eddie queer awaking in fandom for a while - we’ve been reading the clues. 

The whole of Eddies therapy appointment in 5x13 is very loaded - the way the conversation is directed (its exactly how real life therapy works) to push Eddie (and the viewer) in certain directions so that he can begin to connect dots for himself. Now in real world therapy this might happen over several sessions, but 911 doesn’t have the time to do this so they have to ‘speed up the timeline a little’ - so we have Frank choosing to bring up Eddie blowing up at Bobby - Eddies defacto father figure - pushing the idea that in the present we lash out at people who represent an aspect of out past which holds trauma or complexity - the thing which has played a major contributing factor in our present struggles - hence Eddie lashing out at bobby - when he really wanted to lash out at his father.

Franks loaded line ties all of this together - his telling Eddie ’maybe you should talk about your pain with someone who shares it. Think about that first trauma and then talk to someone who can understand what you’ve been through.’ Of course, it plays perfectly into Eddies time in the army - the viewer will naturally go straight there in their mind - because that is where Eddie has gone in his - because he’s still repressing. The thing is the army clearly wasn’t his first trauma - in part Eddies breakdown is as a result of his repression (i’m going to probably explain this very badly, but hopefully it will make sense!). 

Think about it this way - something happened to you in childhood or your teen years - whatever it was lead to big problems - major arguments with you family and possibly the reprobation of the society in which you live, who then started to constantly behave and speak in ways that were unkind, derogatory and made you want to make it stop - so you start repressing that part of you and put huge amounts of energy into trying to fit in. The comments etc never fully go away, but you are able to live more comfortably - as long as you maintain this facade you’ve put up. Then when the first opportunity presents itself you escape (into the army). The thing is your escape route is both freeing and traumatic and so your trauma compounds itself -  the army is a loud kind of trauma - unlike the first trauma it tricks you into thinking that this is actually the first trauma - because that’s what trauma should be right - loud - a big event that has defined perimeters. 

So when you reach the point Eddie is at - where you’ve had several loud traumas, you will trick yourself into thinking the army is the first trauma. So you reach out - as Frank has told you to - only you find you can’t - because they’re all dead - so you can’t do you homework and deal’ with that trauma - so you spiral because that loud trauma is no longer in play - its now a new trauma and therefore more recent. That trauma from further back - the quiet one - that now comes into play - almost as if its taunting you - so you lash out because you know that all your trauma stems from this one trauma that you’ve been attempting to outrun since it happened - it was the reason you joined the army, it was the reason that you ran from you family and the society you knew - to LA (its no coincidence you chose somewhere more accepting and diverse) where you start a job which is similar enough to being in the army - the freedom you enjoyed such as the camaraderie - but without the traumatic bits - the getting shot at etc. 

But then - your new job turns out to not be as trauma free as you thought and eventually you get to where Eddie was in 5x10 - where you get a wake up call. Only Eddie, because he is so repressed and conditioned, didn’t seek help - he changed jobs. Now though, he has lots of time to think and cycle through all that trauma - he thinks going back to what he was doing will solve the problem and when that can’t happen lashes out at the person who represents the cause of his first trauma. So you do get help - thinking that will allow you to keep on repressing that first trauma because if you deal with all the other stuff - you’ll be able to get a better grip on the one thing you’ve been working on repressing for the longest - the first thing. After you lash out you feel guilty (both for the misplaced anger, but also at yourself because you know deep down that you lashed out at the wrong person and you know why) so you do what they suggested - you go to therapy - and your therapist tells you ‘go back to the first trauma and talk to someone about your pain’ - and you are still in denial so you go for the loud trauma - the army - only you can’t talk to someone about your pain and that actual first trauma is their waiting for you to lower you guard and the moment it happens - you lash out and break down because now, now you are going to actually have to face up to the real first trauma.

Note what Frank tells Eddie - ‘talk about your pain with someone who shares it’ followed by ‘and then talk to someone who can understand what you’ve been through.’ That is two separate conversations and it doesn’t follow that they have to be had with the same person - in fact its heavily suggesting that they aren’t/shouldn’t the same person - so Eddie going back to Texas is the first conversation - the one to be had with the person who shares the pain - Eddies father. The person who Eddie has ‘disappointed’ because we shouldn’t forget that Ramon will have pain in this as well - the pain of disappointment in having a son who doesn’t conform to his and the family ingrained expectations. You have to look at this from the outside and understand that from his perspective - because he is seeing things very differently - he is right in his thoughts and opinions (his ideology is outdated and wrong, but it is an ideology that unfortunately still exists in the world and the show is telling that story so don’t @me anyone for saying this). 

However that conversation goes, Eddie will then be in a position to have the second conversation - with someone who understands - now we don’t know who that will be but I’m guessing that weight see Hen (and or  Karen) come into play here - because they are the most likely of our cast to understand. Of course it might be Buck, it might be Maddie (although she has her own thing going on so its very unlikely) because they understand about disappointing your parents etc. But we’ve seen the show expanding the Eddie/ Hen dynamic this season and I feel like it’s been done to lead into them having that second conversation and this also slots in nicely with the HenRen vow renewal theory because Hen preparing to celebrate and reaffirm her love for Karen is the perfect premise for Eddie and Hen to have a conversation about being gay and finding love but also acceptance and potentially about learning to live with a family member who doesn’t approve. We don’t know her fathers opinion on Hens sexuality remember - he might’ve been estranged in part because of it and his pride wouldn’t let him accept he was wrong so he followed her life secretly and from afar and there is no reason that Ramon couldn’t be in the same boat - to ingrained in his way of thinking to admit cubically but secretly proud of his son and the life he lives.

[chronicowboy]

season 5 went so unnecessarily hard on all the hearts in eddie's story after carla's "just be sure you're following your heart not christopher's". like seriously. his "heart" attack in 501 and then the heart transplant gone wrong in the very same episode, eddie trying to save it and failing ??? at the same time he's convincing himself to just stick it out with ana like. and then you have mitchell's heart transplant in 506 which. surely that's repetitive no? couldn't the helicopter transplant have been a kidney or a liver or a lung or something? unless, of course, the heart was a vital storytelling tool... hmmm, i wonder. and then mitchell giving his heart to his son. and like. chris already has eddie's heart. but buck AND eddie working together to get the heart to the son. do you think... could that maybe be about eddie giving buck his heart?? pfft, no, what am i even talking about? then you've got eddie leaving the 118, and having his breakdown, and coming home from therapy to two drawings. to christopher's anatomically correct heart and buck's tri-coloured, cartoonish, happy, misunderstood heart. and holding them both there at the table where carla questioned his feelings for ana. AND THEN you have 517 and ramon's heart issues and eddie saying "i don't want to be like you" and "for myself" and its all just so. eddie diaz and HEARTS, everyone.

[ellelans]

I am going to be better. For Christopher? For myself.

[reneesfanworks]

you know guys maybe I'm projecting because I'm a closeted non binary bisexual latin person but I really love eddie, specially his arc this past seasons and it CRAZY how easy is to project these feelings in his character.

ive been heavily empathizing with him since Eddie begins and it's only gotten worse. The thing with his parents? How he loves them but they've hurt him lots without even realizing, his whole thing with ramon apologizing for being distant and them promising to do better? Girl I was crying. This wee woo show had me crying in the club that night

maybe that's why I think about eddieana so much. like, I've been trying to find screencaps from 3x01 just to pinpoint how dull eddie looked around ana because, again, RYAN👏 FUCKING 👏GUZMAN👏ACTS👏WITH👏HIS👏 FUCKING👏FACE NOBODY'S GONNA TELL ME THAT WAS THE BEST "BESOTTED" LOOK HE WAS ABLE TO MAKE. YOU CANT TELL ME THAT WAS A STRAIGHT MAN LOOKING AT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

i don't really think buddie or even queer eddie will be canon because I don't trust writers by default but if it ever becomes true? I'm going to be insufferable, I'm going to feel madly validated, I'm going to rub it on my whole family's face

[because-i-am-barely-even-human]

So, Ana heard about annual Diaz family gathering and pushes Eddie to let her go with him. She brings it up so many times, so to shut her up he reluctantly took Ana there. He wasn’t sure it was time to meet family since they have been dating only a few months. It wasn’t serious. And he already was having doubts about their whole relationship because of her behavior: calling him “Edmundo” despite him asking her multiple times to stop doing that, trying to interfere with his (and Buck’s) parenting of Chris, constantly complaining about him spending time with his “coworkers” when he should be hanging out with her. Not to mention that she and Buck are not getting along at all, and Buck refuses to hear about her ever since the uber incident™. Christopher’s not a fan too.

Eddie tries to invite Buck with him for moral support and because he’s Buck. Then promptly finds out that he is already invited by Pepa, Abuela, Christopher and… his parents? Turns out, Ramon and Helena have been keeping in contact with Buck since the Texas wildfires, because how could they not? He’s such a sweetheart and apparently charms every Diaz he meets (what else is new😏).

Helena hears Ana complaining about Buck being here, about how many people are there and “I won’t even see the half of them again, why bother remembering their names? “. And in the first few minutes of the introduction she just knows: she won’t like this arrogant brat. You won’t be dating my boy for long, not on my watch.

Helena strongly dislikes Ana and is not hiding it at all. Ana tries to bond with Helena because she’s Eddie’s mother and her future mother-in-law (ha, in your dreams, lady😂), but Helena is having none of it and outright goes past her and straight to Buck. She wants to catch up with him.

Meanwhile, Eddie have a talk with his dad. He’s thinking he’s doing the right thing by dating a woman, a Latina woman (you poor repressed bi-boi). Ramon is not impressed:

“Mijo, what gave you the impression that we want you to have only Mexican partner? Are you aware that your mother is Swedish, not Latina? All that matters is that they are a good person and you’re happy with them.”

Eddie doesn’t miss the fact that his father keeps saying “they”, not “she”. He points it out. Ramon confesses that they suspected that Eddie is, in fact, not straight since before he was in high school. But because it was Texas they understood why he never came out. Eddie is shooketh.

Back to Buck. Ana tries to eavesdrop on Helena’s conversation, but alas, no such luck: Buck talks with Helena in fluent Swedish.

Eddie saw Ana eavesdropping on his mom and Buck, and got angry, he went to tell her off, but when he nears he sees that she looks constipated and like she has no fucking clue what are they talking about. Then with a jolt Eddie realizes they are speaking Swedish. He knew that Buck speaks Spanish (he lived in South America after all) but Swedish?

Helena and Buck are ✨talking shit✨about Ana right in front of her (you think we didn’t see you?), because they can and no one can call them out on it, except Ramon and Eddie, but those two are too busy swooning over listening how the loves of their lives speaking Swedish (those Diaz men, you sure know how to pick 'em 😄).

Bonus:

Christopher understands a little bit of Swedish (he lived first few years of his life with his grandparents after all, it was bound to happen) and having a blast over what his Abuela and his Buck are saying.

If someone's interested in writing this, please tag me when you're done.

[eddiemybeloved]

going off of this post that was made by @unintentionalgenius last night, let's talk about ryan's compass rose tattoo and how it could play a really big part in eddie's character if they do decide to keep the tattoo!

this is what the tattoo looks like!

we all know that compasses help with direction, and to help you find your way to or from a certain place. remember christopher's birth in eddie begins? and after they were still in the hospital, eddie told shannon, "i'll always find a way back to my family?". let that sink it for a second.

we know that after eddie's second tour in afghanistan, he had trouble coming back to civilian life. he was snappy and hostile with shannon, his own father told him to his face that his son barely know him. eddie was out of place.

he almost died after he got 3 bullet wounds to his body, but his parents never really focused on that. and instead of aiding their son who was freshly diagnosed with PTSD, they were either too focused on christopher, or too focused on eddie's metal.

coming to LA kind of put eddie back in control of his life and getting a job at the LAFD helped him find people who he needed and vice versa. even after shannon passed away, his found family were still ready to comfort eddie, even if he wasn't willing to accept that.

after eddie got shot in the middle of the street, buck and carla were the ones who guided him back. buck was the one who stepped into take care of christopher with carla's aid, and soon enough, he was able to see his family, found family and blood family, and gaining another found family member when albert joined the LAFD.

keeping the compass tattoo on ryan's arm could represent that no matter where eddie is, he will *always* find a way back to his family, whether that is by himself, or with the aid of other people.

[alt text: on the inside of ryan guzman's right arm, there is a half-sleeve tattoo that takes the shape of an old, ripped piece of paper, with a compass rose in the middle of it. the compass rose has cardinal directions N, S, W, and E.]

[what-do-1000-swords-look-like]

I was rewatching 2x18 and I had a LOT of feels regarding Ramon and Helena Diaz that I just need to talk about. Ngl, this is long.

I get that the Buckley parents were terrible and what they did is unforgivable really. When I think about how Buck was treated and Maddie was given that burden of keeping that secret from Buck and then having to basically raise him on her own, and then Buck finding out he was only born for "spare parts" and then treated by these moronic people the way he was, as if it was his fault the brother he never knew he had died...I really do wish I could have entered the screen at that point and had a few words with Phillip and Margaret. (I'm protective of my Buckley siblings, not sorry one bit)

But as bad as that was and I am so proud of Maddie and Buck btw, to me, this was almost worse. Or at least horrific in its own way.

Let me just say up front that I am very aware of how much Ramon and Helena love Christopher, but to do this kind of shit to your own son to get what you want, that's effed up on a whole other level entirely.

I always wondered why Helena seemed so accommodating to Eddie in this scene vs 3x15. But then I rewatched it and it hit me: holy shit, she was getting ready to hit him with the offer of Eddie and Chris returning home with them. That's why she gives Ramon the look she does when he insensitively (and assholishly) says what he does about Shannon and why Ramon immediately apologizes. Then he looks back at Helena who suddenly plops down next to Eddie with this totally random thought of 'oh by the way'. And this whole conversation is the beginning of a manipulation but a subtle and complete trickery of 'I'm on your side and only want the best for you' one.

"Honey, we know Shannon loved Christopher." (because we need to soften that blow Ramon just delivered while getting ready to drop this little nugget of an offer *cough* manipulation *cough cough*)

Eddie: "Of course, Mom."

Helena: "But she's gone. And you are a single father. Again. Okay? And the hours you work, Eddie...come home." ('life is hard for you again, you're a single dad again, you don't have Chris' mom anymore, you work so many hours, come home, we want you to come home')

Eddie: "To El Paso?"

Ramon: "Texas has fires, too. You could join a department there." (ah ha! so it really has nothing to do with how many hours Eddie is working or that he might need support as a single dad, surprise surprise)

Eddie: "It's not that simple. I'm still a probationary firefighter. I'm so close to earning my shield. You want me to just throw away the last year of my life?" (and of course Eddie my beloved sees this for what it is because he's no idiot, regardless of whether they think he is or not, he knows a manipulation when he sees one and that they don't really care about him but want Chris) "Right. Is that why you all flew in here, huh? Not for the funeral but to bring us back, was that the plan?"

Helena: "Yeah." (not even ashamed to admit it, wow) "And we could help you and Christopher could be close to family. And you could have a life there." (not only is this completely dismissive of Eddie's life in LA or his hard work at the 118, his career, the family in LA that's been helping him and there for him and Chris, himself in general, but this makes it absolutely clear what they really want: Christopher; plus, where was all this help before Eddie left El Paso?)

Eddie: "We have a life here. And family."

Pepa: "Thank you, Eddie. We are sitting right here."

Eddie: "I won't uproot him again."

Ramon: "Christopher hasn't been out here long enough to put down roots." (nope just enough time to pick up a second dad, though, right Ramon?) "Christopher spent the first six years of his life in El Paso. With us." (Abuela knows exactly what's happening here and I love that she goes over to show Eddie silent support by coming up next to him and rubbing his shoulder; and Ramon, really? Christopher also spent some of those years with Shannon and then Eddie, don't even, dude)

Eddie: "Being with me is what's best for Christopher. I chose this life for a reason."

Ramon: "You can choose another one." (ngl I kind of want to kick Ramon in the shin here, respect your son's choices for crying out loud, not to mention of course being with Eddie is what's best for Christopher, we've been shown that the entire season since Eddie was introduced into the show; and can I just throw this out there? why on earth do you want to separate a father and his child? WHY??? especially when the child wants to be with said father? especially when he just lost one parent permanently?)

Then we have the flashback argument scene in 3x15 (which lines up very well with the scene above):

Ramon: "You're in over your head, Edmundo."

Eddie: "I am doing the best that I can." (okay I just have to say this, rather than offer support to their son who may be struggling, in whatever form he feels most comfortable accepting, they instead decide to list his shortcomings; and this is some time after Shannon has left since Christopher has obviously aged and I think maybe it's been 2 years since Eddie came home? So they literally watched him struggle to financially support himself and Christopher for how long and this is where they're at 2 years later? gtfo Ramon and Helena)

Helena: "Well, that's-that's what we're saying. You're killing yourself. Working around the clock at three different jobs and you don't have time for what matters most: Christopher. And that's why we think he should live with us permanently." (once again, no offer of support or asking Eddie what he needs, they just launch right into what "matters most" to them, and go from 0 to 60, that Chris should live with them permanently, not even for a while until Eddie can get on his feet or get them better situated, permanently)

Eddie: "These jobs are just temporary. It won't be like this forever. You know I've applied to different fire departments. I've gotten accepted to LA and Chicago." (ngl, it angers me a bit that Eddie even has to justify himself here, I get it, they're concerned, but they know he's working towards something more permanent, more stable so he and Christopher can settle into a better routine, they know this)

Helena: "Yes, where you'll be working 24 hour shifts, leaving Christopher with God knows who. How is that any better for him?" (obviously Eddie hasn't chosen where to go yet but it's not like Pepa and Isabel aren't in LA, they know this, and sure enough when we see Eddie in 2x04, he is leaving Chris with Abuela and Pepa steps in when she gets hurt)

Ramon: "Christopher needs consistency. He already got cheated out of that when his own mother up and left him." (again what is more consistent than keeping Christopher in the same home, with the same parent who hasn't left? these two, I swear)

Eddie: "Hey, hey, hey. She didn't leave him, she left me, to take care of her dying mother. So how about we cut her a little slack?" (look, I get it, Shannon really screwed up and their dislike of her and anger at her is totally justifiable, but can I just mention how much I love Eddie here? It's not like he doesn't know this already about Shannon but he shows a bit of loyalty here while also we know that he has some understanding on some level of what she must have been feeling at the time to want to leave because he did it himself once upon a time, as he confirms in 2x10 to Buck - the man is such a "good man" so "Whatta Man" was very apt imho, he's not perfect but God is he trying to do right by his son and by their family)

Helena: "No, no, she gave up on you, then she left her son. I will always blame her for that." ('gave up on you' - what an interesting choice of words, Mom of the Year)

Eddie: "But now you want me to leave him, too? How do you think that's good for him?" (again it just kills me that here is a father who is working hard to support his son and take care of him, who wants to be actively involved in his life, to provide for him as best he can, and they want Eddie to just leave him so they can get their hands on Christopher, it's sick really)

Ramon: "Eddie, he barely knows you. You haven't been around most of his life." (for real, Ramon? Now we're going there? As if Christopher doesn't know his dad and again, hasn't it been at least 2 years at this point where Eddie has been a single parent? Amazing the tactics they choose to guilt him into giving them Christopher)

Eddie: "I don't remember you being around much when I was his age."

Ramon: "I was working." (ah, the old double-standard, there it is)

Eddie: "So was I. And maybe you regret those life choices now but you don't get to make up for lost time with your children by stealing mine."

Ramon: "Hey! Hey!" (there's a reason they get so upset by this line, because the truth always hurts, right? but of course Helena comes back swinging, time to get down and dirty)

Helena: "Okay, no one is stealing Christopher. The reality is your father and I are the only constant in his life. We have been there almost every single day since the day he was born. You can't just take him away from the only stable thing he's got left. He belongs with us." (this is such a low blow; we just heard her mentioning how hard Eddie has been working, we've heard him and Shannon argue about how she doesn't need a provider but a partner, point being Eddie has always worked hard to provide for his family, and regardless of him re-enlisting/leaving and then Shannon leaving, Christopher has had a stable home and has always had at least one parent in the picture at all times, Christopher has never not known love from his family and both sides of extended families; but here's Helena making sure that she and Ramon are front and center, as if they are the only ones that matter when it comes to Christopher)

Eddie: "Mom." (ngl, this part breaks my heart)

Helena: "Eddie, I know how much you love your son. That's why I know you're gonna do what's right for him. Don't drag him down with you, Eddie." (if above was a low blow, this is even more of a dirty kick at the knees; I kind of want to step into the screen and ask her 'just what exactly is wrong for Christopher where his father is concerned? How exactly is Eddie dragging him down for trying to provide a better life for him? And where the hell does it say in the shittiest mothers of the year award pamphlet that in order to get what you want you should destroy your son like this to do it?' Such a shitty thing to say to your son when he is trying so hard to keep Christopher and himself afloat, to make a better life for them by him attempting to become a firefighter, and who literally almost died while away at war, I just... Margaret Buckley is her own personal brand of shitty parenting but for me personally, Helena absolutely takes that fucked up cake)

Thankfully, this shitshow of a scene is followed by this heartwarming one with Christopher:

Eddie: "Hey, what are you doing out here?"

Christopher: "You guys sounded mad."

Eddie: "No one's mad at you, buddy. They're mad at me."

Christopher: "I've never heard them yell before."

Eddie: "Wow. It's like we're talking about completely different people. Hey, did you ever miss me when I was gone?"

Christopher: "I miss you all the time."

Eddie: "You know, I was thinking about taking another trip. And I was wondering maybe if you wanted to come with me?"

Christopher: "Together?"

Eddie: "Together."

Christopher: "Really?"

Eddie: "Yeah. I miss you all the time, too, kid. I'm never gonna leave you again."

This scene shows just how little Ramon and Helena know their grandson or take his choices into account, and how Eddie is a better parent than either of them could ever dream of being. Eddie asks him about taking the trip; he didn't tell him. He gave him the choice. He hears Christopher saying "I miss you all the time." And I also think it's very telling that Christopher heard them being "mad", and was so uncomfortable, he chose to sit outside away from the argument. And he doesn't say 'I've never heard you guys yell before', he says "I've never heard them yell before." (which to me indicates that Ramon and Helena really do go out of their way to shelter him, that's just my personal take on why the show chose for Gavin to say this line here)

Then we have Christopher's birth and post-birth scene in 3x15 as well:

This was a beautiful scene in the beginning. I feel like we see Eddie fall in love with Christopher as soon as he sees him, this is his son. And like that line Bobby says to Chim "It's like a whole different kind of love." Regardless of what happens when Eddie re-enlists later on, the arguing we see between him and Shannon, he absolutely loves Christopher here. (which I think beautifully sort of mirrors this scene when Eddie talks to Christopher's class, with the medal and Christopher being the key component in both scenes)

Then we have Ramon and Helena there, Eddie telling them about cutting the umbilical cord. And then we get this:

Helena: "Your dad wasn't there. He was in Galveston when you were born. And then Sophia, that you were--"

Ramon: "That was Gulfport."

Helena: "Gulfport. Right? And then Adriana was an emergency C section, so you dodged that bullet three times."

Ramon: "But I always made it back in time for the good part."

Helena: "Oh yeah."

Ramon: "This part. Let me see this guy. Look at this guy. Oh, look at you, big guy. Oh, look at you. You're so cute." (Shannon was literally holding Christopher up so Eddie could see him and Ramon leans down to take Christopher from her)

Then, Janet breezes in. And it's clear from the outset that things are very different between the two sets of parents. Eddie is just as happy to see her as Shannon is. He immediately rushes forward to greet her with a hug. Then when Shannon says "Mom. You're here", we have Janet answering with "Like I would miss this. My baby had a baby. Honey, I couldn't get here fast enough." Literally, right after Helena talked about Ramon missing all three of his children's births.

Shannon takes Christopher back and hands him to Janet to hold. And I think the positioning and framing are very important here. Eddie is one side of Shannon while Ramon and Helena are on the other. When Janet arrives, she stays on the same side as Eddie. When Janet is holding Christopher, Eddie and Shannon are involved. When Ramon and Helena were holding Christopher, they were not, and the two grandparents seemed to almost be in their own world with Christopher, even though Helena starts talking to Janet. Even the way they have Christopher facing them and with how Helena has her hand on Christopher, it just screams 'separate' and almost 'possessive' in a way. But when Janet is holding him, not only are both parents involved, Eddie actually moves his arm around Janet's shoulders to interact with Christopher. Very purposeful framing. Then:

Janet: "How long are you here for, Eddie?"

Not only is she asking to make sure Shannon has support (I'm assuming) but also because I get the feeling that she's genuinely interested, also for Eddie's sake.

Shannon: "He's back to Afghanistan next week."

Then they show Ramon and Helena's reactions here. To me, it doesn't look as if they're worried about him, but more disappointed? Not sure if that's the right word but it's definitely not concern for Eddie here.

Then Shannon gives him the St. Christopher medal. And we get the line: "And no matter what happens, I'm always gonna fight to come home to my family." I know this line obviously has more to do with Eddie and this episode, but I think it's interesting that they have him say it in this scene. That Shannon gives him the medal in this scene instead of say, privately between them. That since Christopher was born, we haven't seen Eddie hold him but it's obvious how much he loves Christopher and how proud of him he is. (which I'm guessing plays into what we see later when he and Shannon are arguing while making dinner, and that goes back to Eddie's words in 2x10)

But more importantly, I think Janet was meant to be a contrast to Ramon and Helena here. Not only does she seem to have a more genuine and caring relationship with her son-in-law (that we see just from the few seconds this interaction is between them), but Eddie being present for Christopher's birth despite being in the Army also was in contrast to Ramon as well.

Then we get the infamous scene of "I gave my son a beverage incorrectly":

(video link is gone)

The scene opens up with Ramon holding the medal and reading the certificate out loud. (what kills me about this is that this is such a contrast to Eddie himself who we see is almost uncomfortable with the recognition and medal like we see in the beginning and end of the episode & you would think this is a proud dad moment but it really is anything but, especially when you consider Eddie's line to Shannon in 2x17: "That little boy has taught me so much more about being a man than war ever did." And Eddie's not even present while he's reading it)

Because Pepa is Pepa she says: "We can all read the certificate, Ramon. You don't have to recite it." And then Isabel tries to smooth things over. "He's proud, Pepa. It's not every day your son comes home a hero."

Eddie: "I'm not a hero. I just did what anybody else would do."

Ramon: "If that were true, everybody would be walking around with a silver star." (good point, but again, I have to wonder where exactly that's coming from)

And immediately Helena interrupts to tell Eddie what he's giving Christopher is wrong. And I have to say I love what Ryan did here in this scene. His eyes immediately zero in on the cup when Helena starts talking and his action of taking the cup when he tells her he has no idea where the juice boxes are is definitely implying that he's not willing to go look, and he's going to give his son the drink he brought him. (3:02)

Helena: "Honey, he can't drink this. He needs a straw and no ice. Where are the juice boxes we bought?" (Helena literally takes the cup away that Eddie just placed down)

Eddie: "No idea." (Eddie takes the cup back)

Helena: "Well, maybe Daddy can go be a hero in the kitchen, huh? Get a big old juice box." (imagine how shitty of a mother you have to be to say this, after everything Eddie went through during his service and at the end of it, how he could have died, how he risked his life to save others, especially following Ramon's "proud" performative moment and what Eddie says in response to it and she says it to Christopher, which is absolutely fucking dirty as hell, because now it makes Eddie feels obligated to go find the juice box since she now has suggested it to Christopher himself, Helena absolutely knew what she was doing; but this appears to be Helena's MO when she is aiming to get what she wants and when she doesn't, she pushes back, hard)

And I think, even though Shannon was absolutely not right for leaving her son the way she did, this next part made me at least have just the tiniest bit of sympathy for her in what she must have had to deal with every single day Eddie wasn't there. No wonder she didn't trust herself to be Christopher's mom and that she felt like she was at fault (not saying Helena is the only reason nor is her leaving justified in any way, shape or form, nor was Shannon's reaction to Christopher's CP in 2x07 justified, but for just a second imagine having every single thing you do for your son and with your son not only being second-guessed but also being told that you're wrong "almost every single day since the day he was born." I think this is also part of why Eddie tried to understand where she was coming from but that's just my personal opinion):

Shannon: "What's wrong?"

Eddie: "Apparently, I gave my son a beverage incorrectly."

Shannon: "Your mother?"

Eddie: "Yeah."

Shannon: "I'm familiar with the tone." (not only does she seem sympathetic here, almost understanding the level of what Eddie's dealing with when it comes to Helena', but she then also gets Eddie a juice box; she knows exactly where it is because odds are this isn't the first time Helena has been insistent and made sure Shannon knows where it is to get one when they bring them over; Helena apparently is the force to be reckoned with here, Ramon is just an enforcer and performative asshole if you will)

Then when we go back to 2x18 to Eddie's firefighter induction ceremony, I noticed some interesting framing:

Christopher is not at the Diaz family table, he's at a table across the way from them with Carla and Isabel.

Then we have people coming up to Eddie and congratulating him:

(notice how in the last screenshot, Hen is hugging Eddie, Denny and Christopher are there, Karen is watching, Buck is going back to the table from either just hugging Eddie or something else, Maddie and Chim are in their ow bubble, everyone else is making their way to get cake/food, and Ramon and Helena are on the opposite side of the room sticking out like a sore thumb, almost as if they're waiting for Buck to pass so they can make their way over -> very deliberate framing & I don't think it's any coincidence that Buck and Maddie are on the same side of the room as Helena and Ramon, that their table is next to theirs, just saying)

Eddie for most of this scene, stays on the side of the room where Christopher's table is, and sticks around there and around Christopher, Carla, and Isabel. We don't see him getting hugged by Chim or Bobby like we do with Hen and Buck, but I think it's very loud that we see him being hugged and shown genuine affection by two members of the 118, the family he chose.

Especially since it shows the dichotomy between his El Paso family (Ramon and Helena respectively, I know Adriana and Sophia were there but we never see him interact with them so I'm sticking with the parents) & his LA family:

Here, Ramon cups Eddie's face and pats his shoulder. Another "proud papa" moment, I guess you could say.

Then we see Ramon kissing Christopher's hand which is a gesture of affection, of endearment. Notice how Eddie only seems to be happy around them when his focus is on Christopher.

And then for Helena we see:

We never see her hugging or showing any affection to Eddie. Even when Ramon was and she was right there for it. Instead, this is the only close up shot of her the show gave us, making it very clear who she's there for. Despite her cheering for Eddie when everyone clapped at the end of Bobby's speech earlier.

And they literally showed us this contrast shot:

Here Christopher is happy, so is Eddie, and only the two of them are in the picture while Christopher has Eddie's 118 helmet on his head. This is all Eddie really needs.

And another thing to note for 3x15:

Here, Carla brings Christopher to the firehouse because it's a "five alarm school emergency". The fact that they threw this into the episode (not just about the medal or what comes into play later on regarding it but the fact that they had Carla bring Christopher to the 118 to have this convo where Buck comes into it) where later on we see Ramon and Helena telling Eddie that Christopher needs to stay with them permanently because he'll be "working 24 hour shifts and leaving him with God knows who", that Carla brings Christopher at his request to ask Eddie about show and tell on Friday, if that isn't a kick in the teeth to Ramon and Helena, I don't know what is. Eddie and Christopher are making it work. So Helena's whole spiel doesn't really apply, and (we already know this) we see Eddie is indeed a good dad, a great dad, despite his long hours, despite him raising Christopher on his own, it's working. And with the decision he makes after the well collapse in this episode, it's no coincidence that Buck is present here as well (besides the parallel to 4x05 and the "visitors"), another would be single dad/guardian who has the same job, same hours, who would become Christopher's legal guardian in the event that Eddie didn't make it, but who would fight for Chris and raise him just like Eddie himself does and intends to keep doing.

And then of course we have the montage from 3x15 as Eddie starts to drown:

Here is where we see who really matters to Eddie in the scheme of things. Granted, yes, this is about Christopher (as it should be), but we also see the 118, Bobby, Buck, and of course, Shannon featured as well. We do not see Ramon and Helena or his sisters or any El Paso memories, not even military ones. Not even Abuela, Pepa, or Carla make the cut. (though we know they obviously do matter to him) To me, considering this is Eddie's centric-episode, that's very loud. And not just because of the argument he had with them in the flashback or even the argument he has with them in 2x18. He's very aware of what Ramon and Helena have been trying to accomplish and still are to some extent, which of course he confirms in 4x14 to Buck and then also states it's not what he wants.

But I think the truly sad part of this whole thing with Ramon and Helena is that they have an incredible son who has grown up to be a good man and an amazing father, who risks his life everyday in service of others, and is just a wonderful, caring human being in spite of them. While we do see Eddie's anger with say Buck in 3x05 and 3x06 or Shannon in 3x15 or even Ana in 3x12, we also see his support of Buck in season 4, how he cares for Christopher, how he tried to have understanding for Shannon's side of things even though he didn't agree with it or necessarily forgive her at first. The man is the genuine article and these two idiots (Ramon and Helena) should see that, recognize it, and be proud of him. But instead, just like Ramon wasn't there while Eddie and his sisters grew up, now he and Helena are laser focused on acquiring their grandson, completely dismissing their phenomenal son, in order to right their supposed wrongs, like Eddie says. And truth be told, my heart just breaks for him on that front.

The Buckleys are just as bad, don't get me wrong, but Ramon and Helena absolutely have their own shelf for shitty parenting and hurtful, damaging, and toxic behavior. I'm not saying they don't love Christopher, they obviously do, but they don't love him in the way he needs to be loved, the way he deserves to be. There's no bigger example of that with the beverage scenario when compared to this scene:

Eddie absolutely lets Christopher be who he is. He's always there to give a helping hand if needed but he fosters Christopher's independence and lets him do things himself. Such a stark contrast to the damn cup that needs a straw and no ice scene with Helena. Christopher doesn't need the suffocating hovering that Helena would most likely be doling out on a daily basis. Can you imagine if Christopher had gotten angry at her instead of Eddie like he did in 4x08? Especially given how she has no problem running her own son down? It makes me shudder to think about. Or even if she didn't go that route, let's say, but instead came back harder in her love for him. I don't want to even imagine it. (even the skateboard scenario and that conversation Eddie has Christopher in 3x12 is a perfect contrast to just how Eddie is absolutely who Christoper needs vs Ramon and Helena)

And of course in 2x04 when Eddie drops Christopher off with Abuela where she tells Eddie to help him and he says that Christopher wants to do it himself, we also get this line:

Eddie: "Thank you for taking him."

Isabel: "Taking him isn't a problem. Giving him back, that's the hard part."

It's meant as an affectionate statement about Christopher, that she loves him that much. But I also think it's an interesting contrast that Isabel is not only willing to support Eddie and help him when it comes to Christopher's care while Eddie is at work (until she can't), but also that she does indeed give Christopher back. Maybe it's a stretch here but I think this definitely highlights the difference in Eddie's life and chosen family in LA vs Eddie's life and family in El Paso. In LA, Eddie and Christopher are free to be who they are, to live their lives the way they choose, surrounded by the love and support of the people they choose to have around them. El Paso is a completely different story. I think Pepa's line to Ramon in 3x15 of "We can all read the certificate, Ramon. You don't have to recite it" after Ramon was reading it out loud is especially performative and kind of indicates just what Eddie's life was like growing up, even what Eddie says in 3x01 about brushing things off which wasn't easy but he wasn't wrong. Eddie and Christopher are not free in El Paso, only in LA (or away from this toxicity I should say).

Had Isabel's line been one that Ramon or Helena said...well, I think you know where I'm going with that one.

But ultimately, Eddie is absolutely the best choice for Christopher to be with, not just because he's his father, but also because he absolutely knows what Christopher needs and deserves. And he is going to do his damnedest to make sure Christopher gets it, each and every single time, no matter how many times he might fail, no matter how hard he has to fight. "I love him enough to never stop trying and I know you do, too." "But no one will ever fight for my son as hard as you. And that is what I want for him."

So basically, Ramon and Helena are shitty parents, and even shittier for getting low down and dirty to try to get what they want. They don't give a crap about Eddie, not really. Only on the surface for Ramon (and what he can brag about). And barely at all for Helena. She only becomes a concerned and caring "mother" to get what she wants (like in 2x18). To me, that's more insidious than anything.

Perhaps we'll get more of a perspective in season 5 with Eddie concerning Ramon and Helena, possibly even a scene where Buck or the 118 or both are involved, especially considering the legal guardianship reveal. It would be very interesting to see that knowledge come into play. But based on what we see here already, what the show chose to purposely make us aware of for Eddie's story overall, I think we all know how that would eventually play out.

My heart breaks for Eddie when it comes to his parents but I'm also happy for him and proud of him, happy for Christopher, that they are where they are now and have a family that loves them and cares for them the way they deserve, and they are essentially free from that toxicity as much as they can be. Eddie literally said 'yeah, no thanks' and created his own family unit. He put a ring on it with the legal guardianship, securing Christopher's second dad in a way, but he also baby-trapped Buck way before that. (you know it's true lol) And of course, he has Abuela, Pepa, and Carla. He's Bobby's second and Athena's second adopted fireson (Bobby who has been a far better father figure than the performative asshole back in El Paso). This man is good to go and he's not letting these jerks slow him down one bit and I, for one, admire that greatly about him. Like I said, I'm so happy for him and for Christopher, and I cannot wait to see their story grow and expand even more in season 5, Ramon and Helena and their toxic bullshit be damned.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Eddie's abuela has a secret just like Pepa did.

In an interview either before season 7 began or shortly thereafter, RG mentioned Eddie's abuela has a secret and it appears when she returns, she'll share that secret with him. Even though I'm not sure what it is, I have an idea that it could be related to his next relationship (with Buck, not Maris*l) because I remembered what Tia Pepa told him in 6x14. She had a secret too and it was about her first marriage.

Eddie didn't know she had been married before and when they discussed it, she told him the marriage she had before "Paco" was a "train wreck".

Well... guess who else's first marriage was a "train wreck"?

Eddie's because his first marriage to Shannon was also a "train wreck".

IMO, their conversation was foreshadowing for his next marriage with BUCK, not Maris*l.

Here's my mini season 7 speculation for Eddie...

Isabel will tell Eddie something he didn't know about her love life either prior to her marrying his abuelo or something that happened after his abuelo died.

Everyone has their own opinions and speculations but IMO, even though the narrative has been all over the place this season, it's still there and it's still in play. Therefore, if Eddie were to double down on his relationship with Maris*l and propose to her, like some people believe he will (I DON'T), it doesn't make any narrative sense because he would be doing the SAME THING BUCK'S DOING and making the same mistakes. Buck jumped headfirst into a relationship with someone just because he kissed him (hello it's the same thing Taylor did) and he's done it in the past with previous LIs, however the only difference is he's repeating those same steps with a man this time but it will end the same way his other relationships did.

If Eddie were to propose to Maris*l, it'll be another wash, rinse and repeat just like he did with Shannon. So, unless TM is like KR and he wants to drag BUDDIE CANON out even longer (I mean it's been 6 years and the delays need to end) then, Eddie's next step will be to enter a romantic relationship with Buck and they'll get married.

Reminder, in 7x1, Buck was the one who said Shannon was the first WOMAN Eddie had sex with. Therefore, if the narrative and foreshadowing continue, it's likely, Buck will be the first MAN Eddie has sex with.

[woodchoc-magnum]

Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Ana Flores (9-1-1 TV), Taylor Kelly, Carla Price, Bobby Nash, Howie "Chimney" Han, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Ramon Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Helena Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Pining, Anti-Ana Flores, Realisations, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, 911 Season 4, post episode 4x08, Getting Together, Canon Divergent, COVID-19, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy Summary:

In which Eddie is trying to date Ana and cling to Buck at the same time, and Ana is threatened by Buck's relationship with Eddie and Christopher.

This fic picks up immediately after the Buck and Christopher scene in 4x08.

Final chapter is up!

[beinglibertarian]

Shortcuts y Delusions: Cuban Tyrants, Starbucks Racists & Ugandan Hummers

Cuban President Rat-Faced-Dictator-Bastard Raúl Castro has officially stepped down today, Thursday, April 19, 2018, and handed power to his hand-picked successor Miguel Díaz-Canel Bermúdez. Hopefully this is a day that will be remembered past 4/20 by you filthy hippy pot-addicted libertarians, with your Cheech and your Chong, and your hacky sacks and your Cap’n Crunch Oops! All Berries cereal.

Almost exactly two years ago I wrote, in one of my favorite articles, click-baitingly titled “The Libertarian Case for Invading Cuba“:

Diaz-Canel is no reformer; if he was, he would not have been hand-picked by Raúl. The Castro brothers are not going to leave their legacy in the hands of a man with whom they have doubts that he will carry on the Revolution. Who better than the former Minister of Higher Education? If you think American colleges have become socialist indoctrination centers, how would you describe Cuban ones? Raúl’s closeness to the Cuban military all that ensures the transition to Diaz-Canel will be seamless. Raúl’s endorsement of Diaz-Canel allays their fears that the Revolution will be concluded.

What makes this news is that Raúl actually went through with this plan that is so crazy it just might work. Díaz-Canel is lucky that he won’t receive the fate that befalls most Castro loyalists, which is typically execution by firing squad. The New York Times reports:

Though Mr. Díaz-Canel’s path to the top office has been forecast for years, many an heir apparent before him has fallen by the wayside in the search for a successor to lead the country, whether because of party disloyalty, snide remarks or projecting too much power for the Castros’ liking…

Few American officials — even those in the United States Embassy in Havana — have spent time with him or can claim to have shared more than a few passing words. Even the most seasoned Cuba experts have only faint clues as to what he will do, how he will lead and how much latitude he will have to chart his own course.

Cuba’s next president could be hemmed in from multiple sides. For one, Raúl Castro is expected to remain the head of the Communist Party and wield great influence. Even Fidel, who ruled Cuba since the revolution, did not officially become president until years later, allowing others to occupy the post while he ran the country.

Beyond that, the diplomatic opening with the United States has closed abruptly under President Trump, limiting Mr. Díaz-Canel’s ability to maneuver economically.

“There is nothing in his résumé to suggest he is going to take risks,” Theodore Piccone, a Cuba scholar at the Brookings Institution, said of Mr. Díaz-Canel. “But that is the way the system works — anyone willing to take the risk before now would not be in line to be the president.”

Upon the completion of Díaz-Canel’s coronation, this song was heard from car stereos throughout Little Havana.

***

Hey, what do you call it when you think that everyone who looks the same way all think and do the same thing and are inferior to you? You know, when one or two bad apples define an entire group?

Bigotry, prejudice?

Starbucks will force all their employees to undergo sensitivity training because one employee did something racially insensitive or whatever buzz-phrase you want to use. Apparently, if you wear a green apron, you have to be taught how to not be a secret racist. Talk about an H.R. nightmare. As Chancellor Palpatine would say, “There is no civility, only politics.” “Ironic, isn’t it?”

***

The Daily Mail reports Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni “[H]as said he wants to ban the nation’s citizens from practicing oral sex because ‘the mouth is for eating’…President Yoweri Museveni blamed ‘outsiders’ for trying to convince Ugandans to perform oral sex on one another – and said he was issuing a public ‘warning’ about it.”

When I first read the story, initially I thought “Prudes, puritans and Jewish housewives everywhere would appreciate this.” But, this proposed ban is about enforcing the Anti-Homosexuality Act he signed into law in 2014. Not only is it illegal to be gay in Uganda, but life imprisonment is a possible punishment for homosexual Ugandans. This, of course, is not ironic at all since if there is one thing that never occurs in prison, it’s gay sex. Nope, no gay sex in prison, none whatsoever.

From the same Daily Mail story:

The act also made it a criminal offence not to report someone for being gay.

In 2014, after introducing the law, Museveni said oral sex could cause worms.

‘You push the mouth there, you can come back with worms and they enter your stomach because that is a wrong address,’ he said.

In January he said he regretted his decision to halt the country’s practice of executing criminals.

***

The next time someone tells you fascism is rife in Trump’s America, remind them that our official leaders are elected rather than hand-picked by outgoing puppet-master tyrants, homosexuals can still go down on each other without the fear of life imprisonment and/or execution, and citizens aren’t forced by the government to attend sensitivity training classes indoctrination work camps (unless you count public schools & almost all centers of higher learning).

***

And that’s the way it is, as far as you know.

Image: Ramon Espinosa/Associated Press

The post Shortcuts y Delusions: Cuban Tyrants, Starbucks Racists & Ugandan Hummers appeared first on Being Libertarian.

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[sowhatisthisfor]

Movies 2018

 List of films I watched in 2018 from best to worst.

Updated soon after I’ve seen them.

A Ghost Story [David Lowery, 2017, United States] No film has made me feel this melancholic ever. This is a film so profound, it examines existence in the simplest yet most esoteric way possible. It surely goes straight to the top of my all-time favourite list. 10/10

Burning (Boening) [Chang-dong Lee, 2018, South Korea] Shows the interrelation of hunger and class, the truths and the unknowns. Of how desires could either free you or cage you in unhappiness and despair. A mystery of misery that parallels its political viewpoint. 10/10

Roma [Alfonso Cuaron, 2018, Mexico] Its technical expertise in every element of every frame and composition is overwhelming. It's a movie about contrasts and how each opposite gives life balance, told with such authenticity, it's luxurious cinematic experience. 10/10

Women of the Weeping River [Dayoc, 2016, Philippines] A film about a generational blood feud, and also a metaphoric portrayal of the unending armed conflicts in Mindanao where the vulnerable is the most at risk, and the strong isn’t really unbreakable. 10/10

Kung Paano Hinihintay Ang Dapithapon [Carlo Catu, 2018, Philippines] a small film that tackles layers after layers of things too close to heart. Sincere and profound, definitely my favourite. 10/10  

Loveless (Nelyubov) [Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2018, Russia] cold and chilling in all aspect from start to end. It has such great observation of the recognizable societal apathy. 10/10

Beats Per Minute (BPM) [Robin Campillo, 2017, France] Goosebumps. This is a film clear of its objective, it is exhilarating and exhausting in the good kind of way. 10/10

Cold War (Zimna Wojna) [Pawel Pawlikowski, 2018, Poland] Makes something despairing so beautiful with its artful composition, rightly-paced narrative transition, and cold but affecting character treatment. 10/10

Faces Places [JR, Agnès Varda, 2018, France] Wow. This is the film to watch when your soul is dying for art. Tears, I can't help them from falling. 10/10

Sid & Aya [Irene Villamor, 2018, Philippines] It’s too beautiful, I’m crying halfway through the film for how beautiful it is. You can watch this film without audio and understand it by its lighting, it’s that amazing. 10/10

Arrhythmia (Aritmiya) [Boris Khlebnikov, 2017, Russia] For a movie with characters of increasingly tenuous emotional bond, this is teeming with sensitivity and sensibility. It has so much love, neutrality, and longing, yet so cold and fleeting. Definitely, an emotional rollercoaster of my liking. 10/10

Shoplifters [Hirokazu Kore-eda, 2018, Japan] a film that questions if blood is thicker than the ties that bind us. Here’s Kore-eda capturing our hearts again with his gently-observed humanism. 10/10

Gusto Kita With All My Hypothalamus [Dwein Baltazar, 2018, Philippines] a genius anti-romance that plays along the lines of loving the thought of being in love and making yourself believe in your own ethereality. I love it. 10/10

Balangiga: Howling Wilderness [Khavn, 2017, Philippines] Disheartening and provocative in all its hypnagogia. 10/10

A Star is Born [Bardley Cooper, 2018, United States] If only for its music and its astounding performances, I'm already sold. 10/10

Oda sa Wala [Dwein Baltazar, 2018, Philippines] Is an ode to nothing, to the unseen, to the nobody, to the dead that's more alive than the living and to the living that's more dead than those who died. Baltazar has this gilt-edged technique that leaves its audience wretched yet buoyant. 10/10

The Shape of Water [Guillermo del Toro, 2017, United States] Elegant in its visuals, storytelling, and performances. It is del Toro’s best yet. 10/10

The Guilty (Den Skyldige) [Gustav Möller, 2018, Denmark] Is clever in its minimalism. A fast-paced action thriller and a psychological suspense, all shot entirely between four walls. 9.5/10

Hereditary [Ari Aster, 2018, United States] Unsettling down to the core with a convincing cast and a powerful storytelling. 9.5/10 

Batch 81 [Mike de Leon, 1982, Philippines] In its subversiveness and its sardonic undertone is a remarkable spectacle of expertise, bravery, esoterica, and dynamism. 9.5/10 

Dogman [Matteo Garrone, 2018, Italy] Examines a man's need to be recognized as a chihuahua in a shepherd's world. 9.5/10

BuyBust [Erik Matti, 2018, Philippines] a spectacular display of astounding filmmaking where every element is designed and choreographed fittingly well. Entertaining yet harrowing from start to finish, it's the kind of film that stays. 9.5/10 

God’s Own Country [Francis Lee, 2017, United Kingdom] Features a kind of romance with such carefully-observed realism. It was very well portrayed. Very well. 9/10

Sunday's Illness (La Enfermedad del Doming) [Ramon Salazar, 2018, Spain] Scene after scene of mesmerizing mystery and such powerful attention to detail. 9/10 

Annihilation [Alex Garland, 2018, United States] Though at times flawed, it ended with such thought-provoking, ambitious, and lasting impact. 9/10 

Captain America: Civil War [Joe Russo, Anthony Russo, 2016, United States] it’s hard to point out which part of the film I didn’t like, that’s if I hated anything. 9/10 

The Florida Project [Sean Baker, 2017, United States] Kids, no matter the social class, are still just kids in search for adventure, friendship, and love. This movie doesn't feel like a movie at all, it's brilliant. 9/10

Signal Rock [Chito Rono, 2018, Philippines] Very raw and phenomenal. Each character formidably plays an important role in characterizing a small town of heartwarming spirit. If not for its distracting bad CGI which I think is unnecessary, I’d give it a perfect 10. 9/10

Beti [P. Sheshadri, 2017, India] manages to oppose patriarchy in Indian culture in such an innocent yet intelligible perspective. 9/10 

Train to Busan [Yeon Sang-ho, 2016, South Korea] When everyone's becoming a monster, humanity is the way to survive. Fast-paced. Thrilling. Heartfelt. I honestly feel like Train to Busan lacks a stronger female character, but it's interestingly very human that I'm completely captured by it. 9/10

ML [Benedict Mique, 2018, Philippines] teeming with ingenuity and masteful filmmaking, it’s a suspense too relevant for anyone to miss. 9/10

Liway [Kip Oebanda, 2018, Philippines] Is at most powerful when it exposes the correlation of facts and fiction. Doesn’t hit you right away but when it does, it hits hard. It hits still. 9/10

Sicilian Ghost Story [Fabio Grassadonia, Antonio Piazza, 2017, Italy, France, Switzerland] Cinematic and poetic. Beautiful in all its mythological symbolism. 9/10

Get Out [Jordan Peele, 2017, United States] a satire of utmost significance, it lives. 9/10

Si Chedeng at Si Apple [Rae Red, Fatrick Tabada, 2017, Philippines] Hilarious with punchlines, intelligent with comebacks. This is comedy with brain, soul, and heart. 9/10 

Happy as Lazzaro (Lazzaro Felice) [Alice Rohrwacher, 2018, Italy] a charming small film with a subtext of such vivid social allegory. 9/10

I am Not a Witch [Rungano Nyoni, 2018, United Kingdom] For a debut film, this is quite a remarkable take on exploitation, abuse, and misogyny. 9/10

A Quiet Place [John Krasinski, 2018, United States] For a film that’s supposed to be silent, I find it quite overscored. Still a good watch though. 9/10

Ang Panahon ng Halimaw [Lav Diaz, 2018, Philippines] Sarcasm at its best. Quite fun. 9/10

L'amant Double [Francois Ozon, 2018, France] Wild and mindblowing, a film of endless curiosity. 9/10

Seklusyon [Erik Matti, 2016, Philippines] a thought-provoking jewel on the corruption of divinity and an examination of people’s inner evils. 9/10

BlackKKansman [Spike Lee, 2018, United States] Although satirically exaggerated, this film is teeming with entertainment and importance. 8.5/10 

In This Corner of the World [Sunao Katabuchi, 2017, Japan] It stays. Films like this, they always do. 8.5/10

Euthanizer (Armomurhaaja} [Teemu Nikki, 2018, Finland] An examination of how suffering is commensurate with cruelty. For something so bleak, it is surprisingly a good exemplification of moral values. 8/10

Padman [R. Balki, 2018, India] Speaks volumes in a humorous way. Something enlightening and empowering, I love it. 8/10

Gutland [Govinda Van Maele, 2017, Luxembourg] For a debut feature, Van Maele is a master of slow-burn tension. 8/10

The Square [Ruben Ostland, 2017, Sweden, Denmark] An ironic and satiric take on elitism, privilege, and humanity. 8/10

A Prayer Before Dawn [Jean-Stéphane Sauvaire, 2018, France, Thailand] For something that feels hesitant in showing violence, this is already quite a tough watch. 8/10

We Need to Talk About Kevin [Lynn Ramsey, 2012, United States]

A Taxi Driver [Hun Jang, 2017, South Korea] an entertaining yet affecting tribute to nameless heroes. 8/10

Memoir of War (La Douleur) [Emmanuel Finkiel, 2017, France] Sadly, its visual choices, experimental scoring, and drawn out structure don't match Marguerite Duras's poetic writing. 8/10

The Wound (Inxeba) [John Trengove, 2017, South Africa] More than the physical wound from a boy's transition to manhood, this movie tackles a deeper kind of pain, the kind that scars forever. 8/10

Pan de Salawal [Che Espiritu, 2018, Philippines] a hard-hitting reminder that the most painful challenges people overcome are also the most rewarding. Don’t be afraid to feel them all. 8/10

The Great Buddha+ [Hsin-yao Huang, 2018, Taiwan] Not sure if saying "this is my kind of humour" is something I should be proud of but damn this film is hilarious! Oh and really clever too. 8/10 

Leave No Trace [Debra Ganik, 2018, United States] a small film of massive authenticity and warm touch. It will leave a trace. 8/10

Manila by Night [Ishmael Bernal, 1980, Philippines] a classic representation of the realities of how Manila is a witness to the city's moral lethargy. 8/10 

Coco [Lee Unkrich, 2017, United States] Understands what La La Land doesn’t – relationships shouldn’t suffer when achieving our dreams. 8/10

Don’t Breathe [Fede Alvarez, 2016, United States] Alvarez has some serious skills to make this suspenseful with only a blind villain inside a small house. 8/10  

The Other Side of the Wind [Orson Welles, 2018, United States] Not for a Welles beginner but is surely a completist's delight. 7.5/10

Felicite [Alain Gomis, 2017, Senegal, Congo, France] With such lyrical tone, its narrative was thinly sketched that some of its elements don't match. 7.5/10

Malila: The Farewell Flower [Anucha Boonyawatana, 2018, Thailand] A beguiling narration of existentialism, redemption, and the philosophy of Buddhism. All told in such calming gaze, it's actually hypnotic. 7.5/10 

Revenge [Coralie Fargeat, 2018, France] Caution: explicit cursing while watching and cheering to this. 7.5/10 

Aria [Carlo Catu, 2018, Philippines] Could have gone deeper and darker to make a more harrowing but lasting impact. It borders on the safe side, but still able to tell something important. 7.5/10

Billie & Emma [Samantha Lee, 2018, Philippines] There's magic in its production design and an amusing chemistry that would remind you of what it's like to fall in love the first time. It is everyone's teenage romance, the kind that buries heteronormativity. 7.5/10

Of Love & Law [Hikaru Toda, 2017, Japan] Questions the intricacies of Japanese culture through a collection of simple yet meaningful moments. 7.5/10 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom [JA Bayona, 2018, United States]

Saving Sally [Avid Liongoren, 2016, Philippines] Is the freshest and has the most creative visual style I’ve seen in a long long time. I want more of it. 7,5/10 

One Week Friends [Masanori Murakami, 2017, Japan]  There’s a good reason for my sunken eyes right now, right? 7.5/10 

Room 8 [James Griffiths, 2013, United States] Unique and smart. Too amazed, I had to share it with everyone. 7.5/10

Isle of Dogs [Wes Anderson, 2018, United States] A quirky imagination of a simple narrative, told in a hyper-stylized artistry. 7.5/10

Black Panther [Ryan Coogler, 2018, United States]

Hintayan ng Langit [Villegas, 2018] I'm not completely sold on a couple of its elements but boy, Gina Pareño is a gem. A sparkling one.  7.5/10  

Avengers: Infinity War [Anthony and Joe Russo, 2018, United States]

The Invitation [Karyn Kusama, 2016, United States] I know a psychological thriller like this is effective when I find myself so uncomfortable, wanting to leave, cautious of being brainwashed. 7.5/10

Ready Player One [Steven Spielberg, 2018, United States] Too amusing to the point of apathy. Still entertaining though. 7.5/10

Disobedience [Sebastian Lelio, 2018, Ireland] Depicts the beauty of internal turmoils and hidden desires, it’s gripping. 7.5/10

Apostasy [Daniel Kokotajlo, 2017, United Kingdom] the more it rolls, the more I loathe religion. 7.5/10 

Wonder Woman [Patty Jenkins, 2017, United States] More than it being a feminist is it being human and that I think is more important. 7.5/10 

Meet Me in St Gallen [Irene Villamor, 2018, Philippines]

Never Not Love You [Antoinette Jadaone, 2018, Philippines] Beautifully and realistically written. It’s just really hard for me to like Reid’s character. 7/10 

Eight Grade [Bo Burnham, 2018, United States] One of the most important and most natural teen movies of the year. 7/10

Cam [Daniel Goldhaber, 2018, United States] Pushing its flaws aside, this is actually quite an accomplished thriller of a possible near future. It didn't end with an impactful resolution though. 7/10

The Miseducation of Cameron Post [Desiree Akhavan, 2018, United States] Provocatively presents how emotionally abusing conversion therapy could be. 7/10

Crazy Rich Asians [Jon Chu, 2018, United States] Important and feel-good, but that's just it for me. 7/10

Distance [Perci Intalan, 2018, Philippines] a tender family drama with powerful performances of characters who choose to love no matter how wrong or right. 7/10 

Showroom [Fernando Molnar, 2014, Argentina] is a showroom of how beautiful and luxurious an artificial world could be. 7/10 

Contagion [Steven Soderbergh, 2011, United States] Believable but somehow lacking in its scare tactic. 7/10 

Zodiac [David Fincher, 2007, United States] Intelligent drama, boring thriller. Not a fan. 7/10

The Greatest Showman [Michael Gracey, 2018, United States]

Smaller and Smaller Circles [Raya Martin, 2017, Philippines] Suspense done right but there's something about its exchanges that seems unnatural. 7/10 

Pop Aye [Kirsten Tan, 2018, Thailand, Singapore] Is as slow but as heavy as its lead. 7/10

The Day After Valentine’s [Jason Paul Laxamana, 2018, Philippines] Brilliant in its canny use of language to illustrate people's tendency to miscommunicate emotions. 7/10 

Thoroughbreds [Cory Finley, 2018, United States] The kind of film that doesn't lead to what you think. It's black comedy of my liking. 7/10

Nearest and Dearest [Kseniya Zueva, 2017, Russia] displays the weakening social and moral values in contemporary Russian society. 6.5/10 

Hearts Beat Loud [Brett Haley, 2018, United States] Magical in its little ways. 6.5/10

Me Casé Con Un Boludo [Juan Taratuto, 2016, Argentina] Nothing much in here but laughter after laughter. 6.5/10

Delinquent [Kieran Valla, 2016, United States] a small-town thriller with a set location that breathes on its own. 6.5/10

Ang Babaeng Allergic sa Wifi [Jun Lana, 2018, Philippines] I thought it was just a cutesy take on appreciating moments and living life in the present, but heck no, prepare to find your tears falling. 6.5/10

Bakwit Boys [Jason Paul Laxamana, 2018, Philippines] a warm and light-hearted family drama with beautiful original songs to brag about. 6.5/10

Musmos Na Sumibol sa Gubat ng Digma [Iar Arondaing, 2018, Philippines] At times, it feels like it's trying too hard both to make a point and to sound subtle to a point that it feels a bit disconnected. 6.5 /10 

What If It Works [Romi Trower, 2018, Australia] Delightfully charming amidst the chaos of mental disorders. Works quite well. 6.5 /10

Eternity Between Seconds [Jan Alec Figuracion, 2018, Philippines] There’s comfort somewhere between the discomforts of bad acting here. 6.5 /10

Love, Simon [Greg Berlanti. 2018, United States] It’s a very familiar coming-of-age romance, but that familiarity is what made it stand out. 6.5 /10

Blockers [Kay Cannon, 2018, United States] Definitely my kind of humour. The sarcastic wit is overflowing. 6.5 /10

Alex Strangelove [CraigJohnson, 2018, United States] Nothing too new but isn't short of likeable. 6.5/10

Lobster Cop [Li Xinyun, 2018, China] Hilarious. I’d like it to be more brutal with its action scenes but it’s already otherwise quite entertaining. 6.5/10

Ant-man and the Wasp [Peyton Reed, 2018, United States] Funny as always, but I'm in love with Paul Rudd so I must be biased. 6.5/10

Kuya Wes [James Mayo, 2018, Philippines] explores the fundamental need of being appreciated in a light yet stinging narrative. I don't like a number of things, but the soundtrack works well, it's satiating. 6.5/10 

To All the Boys I've Loved Before [Susan Johnson, 2018, United States] There's substance in its shallowness, it's charming. 6.5/10

The Snow White Murder Case [Yoshihiro Nakamura, 2014, Japan] It’s a little too long to keep it entirely interesting. 6.5/10

Cardinals [Grayson Moore, Aidan Shipley, 2018, Canada] It was burning slowly until it was shot to the head. Could have been more painful if not for its loose ending. 6.5/10

Unli Life [Miko Livelo, 2018, Philippines] Not a fan of its comedic banters but I find its rare seriousness quite a gem. 6.5/10

The Cured [David Freyne, 2018, United Kingdom]

Sympathy for Mr Vengeance [Park Chan-wook, 2002, South Korea]

Berlin Syndrome [Cate Shortland, 2017, Australia, Germany] Cold and riveting with a third act that would push you to the edge. 6.5/10 

Wonder [Stephen Chbosky, 2018, United States]

12 Strong [Nicolai Fuglsig, 2018, United States] All that technical expertise and still end up saying nothing. 6/10

Goodbye, Grandpa [Yukihiro Morigaki, 2017, Japan] depicts the kind of mourning we tend to overlook and is only intensified by the bonding of family. 6/10 

Deadpool 2 [David Leitch, 2018, United States] Started off fun, ended up exhausting. 6/10

Bird Box [Susanne Bier, 2018, United States] a film with no emotional connection, no proper climax, and therefore no sensical resolution. 6/10

Madilim Ang Gabi [Adolf Alix, 2018, Philippines] seems like a show-off of stars after stars after stars playing bit roles to the point that it already feels unauthentic. 6/10 

Call Her Ganda [PJ Raval, 2018, Canada, Philippines] I'm not convinced of its storytelling, still an important one to watch though. 6/10 

A Million Happy Nows [Albert Alarr, 2017, United States] Despite the smallness of this film, it actually hits big. 6/10 

Bomba [Ralston Jover, 2017, Philippines] is brave in its defiance, bold in its commentary but it somehow failed to deliver. 6/10

Oceans 8 [Gary Ross, 2018, United States] Slow and mediocre, quite a waste of powerhouse cast. 6/10

Koxa [Ekrem Engizek, 2018, Turkey, Germany] Uninteresting for the kind of fact it exposes. 6/10

2 Cool 2 be Forgotten [Petersen Vargas, 2017, Philippines]

Beastmode [Manuel Mesina III, 2018, Philippines] ingenious and inventive but it’s not the kind I enjoy. 6/10 

Dedma Walking [Julius Alfonso, 2017, Philippines]

Can We Still Be Friends [Prime Cruz, 2017, Philippines]

The Belko Experiment [Greg McLean, 2017, United States] The experiment and the film are both pointless, but pointless sometimes is entertaining. 6/10

Hooked [Max Emerson, 2018, United States]

Sierra Burgess is a Loser [Ian Samuels, 2018, United States] I was enjoying it until its last act which felt rushed and unnatural. 5/10

Skyscraper [Rawson Marshall Thurber, 2018, United States] Plot after plot of action-packed impossibilities. 5/10

Glorious [Connie Macatuno, 2018, Philippines] Watching it is like riding a taxi cab with a clutch driver, it’s making me dizzy. 5/10

Rampage [Brad Peyton, 2018, United States] Feels like a bargain with nothing much to offer but cool CGI. 5/10

Je Ne Suis Pas Un Homme Facile [Eleonore Pourriat, 2018, France]  

Mga Mister Ni Rosario [Alpha Habon, 2018, Philippines] Entertaining but also miserably problematic. 5/10

Carrie [Kimberly Peirce, 2014, United States] Is quite an urban myth version of a school shooting. 5/10

Rough Night [Lucia Aniello, 2017, United States] Watched it on a plane, not sure if it's as fun if landed. 5/10

Bomba [Rolston Jover, 2017, Philippines] is brave in its defiance, bold in its commentary but it somehow failed to deliver. 5/10 

Avengers: Age of Ultron [Joss Whedon, 2015, United States] Boring with a capital B. 5/10

The Meg [Jon Turteltaub, 2018, United States] Mediocre. Very mediocre. 5/10

Final Score [Scott Mann, 2018, United States] It has potential but didn't quite scored a goal. 5/10

Uncle Drew [Charles Stone III, 2018, United States] I can't force myself to get comfortable watching this. 5/10

A Piece of Paradise [Patrick Alcedo, 2017, Canada, Philippines] It’s okay but there’s nothing much in there. 5/10

Happy Death Day [Christopher Landon, 2018, United States]

The Flu [Kim Sung-soo, 2013, South Korea] Stupid but fun. It's the kind of silly you enjoy. 5/10

Ali and Nino [Asif Kapadia, 2017, Azerbaijan, Georgia] Badly-acted, badly-designed production. Offers nothing much of excitement. 4/10 

Unexpectedly Yours [Cathy Garcia-Molina, Philippines, 2017] Fun at times. Corny at most. 4/10 

Forget About Nick [Margarethe von Trotta, 2017, Germany] is as if made as an example of movies that failed the Bechdel test from supposed to be feminist directors. 4/10 

I Love You, Hater [Giselle Andres, 2018, Philippines] I find its main plot gender insensitive so it’s a nope nope for me. 4/10

The Mumbai Siege: 4 Days of Terror (One Less God) [Lliam Worthington, 2018, Australia, India] That’s an annoying take on a siege that marked world history. 4/10

Life is What You Make It [Jhett Tolentino, 2018, United States, Philippines] For some reasons, I’m not sold on how it tries to inspire. 4/10 

We Will Not Die Tonight [Richard Somes, 2018, Philippines] If you're looking for brutal action and relentless stabbing where blood and sweat are like fireworks, go see it. If you're looking for sense or better fight choreographies, go somewhere else. 3/10 

Bleeding Steel [Leo Zhang, 2018, Hong Kong] Feels like switching between channels. 3/10

Citizen Jake [Mike de Leon, 2018, Philippines] Is like a collection of everything de Leon wants to try. Not effective at that. 3/10

On Again Off Again [Arsalan Shirazi, 2017, Canada, India] Undesirable characters in undesirable performances. 3/10

Jigsaw [Spirieg brothers, 2017, United States]

Tomb Raider [Roar Uthaug, 2018, United States] Impossible but fun. 3/10

Insidious (The Last Key) [Adam Robitel, 2018, United States] 

Pitch Perfect 3: Last Call Pitches [Trish Sie, 2018, United States] The worst of them all pitches. 3/10

When We First Met [Ari Sandel, 2018, United States]

Attack on Titan: Part 1 [Shinji Higuchi, 2015, Japan] Lacks character development, lacks plot continuity, it’s the movie adaptation disappointment of the decade. 3/10

Alright Now [Jamie Adams, 2018, United States] is said to be a feel-good movie but more like a feel-regretful for the time wasted watching this. 3/10

Hostel [Eli Roth, 2006, United States] Nothing here is pleasing. Not its concept, not its execution, and not even its gore. Down to the trash bin. 3/10

One More Chance [Cathy Garcia-Molina, 2007, Philippines] I’m sorry, I really can’t stand this movie. 3/10

Slumber [Jonathan Hopkins, 2018, United States] Is a snoozefest as simple as that. 3/10

In Un Giorno La Fine (The End?) [Daniele Misischia, 2018, Italy] Is funny in a bad way. 3/10

Peter Rabbit [Will Gluck, 2018, United States] RBF the entire freaking time. 3/10

You, Me and Him [ Daisy Aitkens, 2018, United Kingdom] Just one of those films that pass you by. 3/10

The Dawnseeker [Justin Price, 2018, United States] With that kind of premise, I honestly wanted it to be at least a decent watch. It isn’t. 2/10

Mara [Clive Tonge, 2018, United States] Generic. Mediocre. Forgettable. 2/10

Office Uprising [Lin Oeding, 2018, United States] Dumb. 2/10

School Service [Louie Ignacio, 2018, Phiippines] the intention is there but the concept isn’t concrete enough to be decently executed. 2/10 

The Strangers: Prey at Night [Johannes Roberts, 2018, United States] What a freaking stupid family that was. I could go on and on and on with my disgust towards this movie, but the bacon is cooked and bacon is more important. 1/10

The Matchmaker's Playbook [Tosca Musk, 2018, United States] a misogynist piece of bullcrap. 1/10

The Do-Over [Steven Brill, 2016, United States] Wow. That was boring. 1/10

Aswang [Michael Laurin, 2018, United States] a film perfect for when you can’t sleep. 1/10

The Lookout [Afi Africa, 2018, Philippines] is a joke after joke after joke, so unfunny, it deserves a laugh. 1/10 

[ellelans]

You think this is some kind of angel of mercy killing? Putting people out of their supposed misery? I think it’s more complicated than that.This guy is bringing people to the point of death and than using his skills to bring them back.When he was a kid,he...he got to play the hero.Now he wants to play God.