#answering publicly because I’m trying to Be Less Frightened

[pomeg-glitch]

Hi. Hello. I'm really sorry if this is a question you e answered but I'm emerging from a 45 minute panicked search. Picture me as a desperate, manic, half drowned raccoon.

I believe it's you that made my favourite TMA animatic...ever. First Love? It was by someone with this same handle on YouTube. It has dissappeared. I cannot even find the channel. I was just wondering what happened?

A selfish person (me) would also love to know if they could maybe get a copy? If it's okay with you.

Hi, hello. As the person who, in a previous bout of paranoia, panicked and privated the channel and all its contents, I sympathize with the desperate, manic, half drowned raccoon feel. I’ve been almost too anxious to look at it since, but, y’know. Uh. Since you asked so nicely?

in seriousness, I’ve been meaning to open the darn thing back up anyway. I’m working on videos on and off for years, even though I never finish them, and I have to put them someplace if I do. Besides, I’ve taken a few videos that meant a lot to some folks down with me into the void, and much as I’d like to let people see them again, I’ve been kind of… scared, about it. Anyway, uh. So here’s a link!

I don’t know yet if I’m going to make it all public again instead of unlisted, or if, or when, but. I know this video’s made a lot of people awfully happy, and even though I cringe violently at my old (almost three years, now, look how I’ve grown) art, I really am glad you enjoy it :] so… enjoy it.

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Nyx

Nyx is a primordial goddess and the Greek personification of Night - the mother of Hypnos, Thanatos, Nemesis, and many more. She's a mysterious figure in their mythos as there's little surviving info about her cult. What is known, however, is that she was portrayed as beautiful, powerful, and feared by Zeus himself.

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares, Hestia, Nyx

Lucifer 

What happens when you take a being born from the darkness and place them in a realm of eternal night…?

The answer came when the MC first stepped out of the portal. Everyone in the room was wholly expecting a normal-looking, confused human they could get up to speed, however…

The MC's skin suddenly darkened until it was as black as a shadow, their clothes levitated around them as if they were defying gravity, and glimmering speckles dotted their skin like twinkling stars.

Even their eyes turned a pure, glowing white without irises or pupils… Like two crowning stars locked into a body made from the shimmering night sky...

They weren't human. At the time, Lucifer wasn't even sure he could say what they were... Breathtaking, certainly, but there was something else about them that he couldn't place… something… foreboding...

Diavolo must have had the same unease because Barbatos was put in charge of monitoring them. The butler would send reports to them both and the results would range from benign to nerve-racking...

They kept their distance from his brothers and most people, but their power seemed immense... Barbs would report seeing them making small items float or summoning a meteor shower from their fingertips!

Lucifer ended up actually tasting their powers only once. When they stepped in to protect Beel and Luke and he went to attack them…

The whole House began to shake and the candles of the tomb started going out one by one as the air grew intolerably heavy... He could have sworn he saw a vortex of… something... swirling at their feet...

He backed off immediately and Beel and Luke got off with a warning, mostly because he was trying not to look utterly petrified...

He's never met a more beautiful and dangerous creature in his life… Pact mark or no, this is probably the only person the firstborn will admit he never wants to have to fight because he'd lose, big time.

Mammon

He was expecting to find a human when he walked into the Student Council room, not an alien!!

Mammon was seriously scared of the MC when they first met because he legitimately believed they were an extraterrestrial sent to probe him!!... Or whatever else those scary movies say aliens do, lay eggs in his stomach?

He straight up avoided them like the plague until the Goldie incident more or less bound them together. But even then there was a distance between them he just couldn't place…

Naturally, it bothers a demon a bit if their master doesn't seem to like them, so he eventually cornered them one day to force them to tell him why they'd been running off!

As it turned out, the MC actually knew as little about their new form everybody else! They had been perfectly normal in the human world, but for some reason the Devildom supercharged them! They could tell that they were powerful, but had no idea how to control themselves yet and it scared them...

So Mammon became their first unofficial "coach." Not that he knew how to train them or anything, but he was the first person supportive enough to even try to help them learn their new powers.

It led to some… interesting misadventures. Like when the MC unexpectedly burst every water pipe in the House or when they got a little too frustrated and ripped the kitchen apart with an accidental twister, but hey, Mammon was always there for them at least.

Of course, because he's who he is, he's not above asking the MC to help him with his schemes for "training purposes…" Infiltration is more fun if you're weightless, after all!

Speaking of weightless… His favorite way to float is when the MC gets excited and hugs him. They can't help but levitate them both off the ground when they're that happy and it makes the whole hug that much sweeter.

Leviathan 

It's… it's like he's in his very own Magical Girl anime!!! Uh, "I'm a Demon and this is My New Life with a Magic Starchild!!"-or something like that. 🤷‍♀️

He didn't even think their transformation was real when he first saw it! He really thought it was an elaborate body art cosplay but then their "freckles" rearranged themselves when he frightened them, so it had to be real!!

He'll declare that they're probably (literally) the coolest thing on the planet. They have the looks of an epic fantasy character plus insane powers to boot! 

…though uh… they may need a training arc or two to learn how to control them… 😅

Since their powers are apparently tied to their emotions, Levi's seen them do a whole bunch of stuff that's not entirely on purpose... Like, they can make things float when they're happy and push everything down when they're sad. 

So once he showed them one of those "tragic ending" animes for fun, but they cried so hard that they increased gravity and accidentally sent his bathtub crashing into the basement…

The worst of it is when they're mad, though. He made the mistake of making them play a rage game once and they ended up shattering all the glass in his room! His aquarium wall and Henry's fishtank included!!

They were able to make a zero G sphere of water in order to save Henry's life, but the cleanup was brutal… They were super sorry, but Levi took most of the blame himself anyway.

Honestly, he'd have been more mad but their body is clearly not something they can control just yet. Plus, it's so cool that he can put up with a little destruction anyway, you know?

Satan

Well, isn't that an interesting phenomenon?

Meeting a demigod is exciting enough, but one who reacted to the Devildom like that? It was pretty much unheard of!

Though he'd hate to admit it, Satan stalked the MC just as closely as Barbatos for a little while... But only because he was a little unsure of how to approach them…

They kept to themselves and their powers seemed "a little" unpredictable (see Levi's orphaned bathtub). Thankfully, Mammon ended up recommending the MC to him since Satan's one of the smartest guys around.

Satan made a better coach than Mammon, anyway. He was far more knowledgeable and actually able to hypothesize the strength their powers, which came in handy because uh… well…

Look. The whole realm 'ooohs' and 'ahhhs' over their appearance but they're all fools - no morons - for not noticing what potential the MC actually has. Satan was positive that the MC is the most powerful being in the Devildom, without question.

They had a complete control over gravity, atmospheric pressure, and even astronomical bodies… If they wanted to, they could literally pluck a planet out of orbit and send it careening into who knows what!

Want more terrifying? They could create near-matterless vacuums at the palms of their hands with the potential to suffocate, crush, or rip apart basically anything they wanted with implosive force….

Does he even need to spell out why that's utterly horrifying??

At least the MC seemed to be a genuinely nice person who wanted to control their powers better… Their emotions often got in the way but they tried their best.

He likes the MC a lot, but he'd be lying if he said that they didn’t also terrify him… They may have been pretty normal in the human world, but give them endless night and they may as well be a god...

Asmodeus 

Oh… My… Father!!! They're GORGEOUS!!!!

From the moment their transformation completed, Asmo had never seen anything like them! He said that they were like a living droplet of the night sky!

They were magnificent!! They were radiant!!! He was posting pictures of them before they had even said their first sentence!!

So Asmo was pretty much patient zero for any and all rumors and hype about the MC after that... Apparently someone like them only visits the Devildom every one, maybe two, centuries so everybody was bound to get talking.

Thankfully, the MC's habit of ducking out of the House kept them from becoming a full on sideshow. Unfortunately, however, Asmodeus was relentless!

He'd beg them to try modeling or make videos with him because of their unique look! He'd lay on the praises, but it was a little... much. It wasn't until Mammon finally stepped that he backed off a bit.

Asmo sometimes forgets that not everyone puts as much emphasis on looks as he does... Though he meant well, he hadn't realized that the MC maybe wouldn't appreciate him making such a big deal out of their appearance change. Pretty as it was, it was still involuntary to them...

Of course, after they told him this he cooled off and stopped putting them out there so publicly but even still he could hardly keep his eyes off of them... unless he was looking in a mirror, of course. 😘

A fun fact about the MC: when they blush, their skin makes a pink nebula. And thanks to his antics, Asmo has seen their lively pink cheeks many, many times… 🤭

Beelzebub 

Belphie would like them, wouldn't he...?

Beel's first reaction upon seeing the MC was genuine sadness, as seeing the stars with his twin brother still gone often brought him… 

The sadness didn't last too long at least because Beel tried his best to see the MC more like a person than a work of art or an oddity. Sure, they looked different - like really different - but they still laughed, cried, and ate like everybody else so they couldn't be that different.

Though then again, most people don't end up floating in midair when they laugh… Eh, oh well. It's not like those little details bother him. 🤷‍♀️

He always remained certain that Belphie would like the MC so he told them a lot about him. Since his twin loved stargazing, it'd only be natural that he'd like someone who looked like the stars, right?

Aside from the occasional tangent about his brother, Beel would also help the MC with their training by letting them help him with his training!

Controlling gravity can be pretty nifty for strength/resistance exercises, so there would be days where Beel would just pull a Dragon Ball and walk around at 1.5 or 2 times Earth's gravity thanks to having the MC on his back!

Sure, lifting a glass of milk becane so difficult that he literally broke a sweat from trying, but he felt like he can juggle motorcycles afterwards so who's complaining? Not him!

Belphegor 

……

………….

Was it some kind of joke?

The MC was not human. There was no way in heaven or hell that whatever he lured to the attic was supposed to be a human!!

Really, everything about the MC and their situation seemed directly designed to throw a monkey wrench into his plans...

One: They weren't human so how was he supposed to ruin Diavolo's dream? Two: They were clearly some kind of magical being so they could likely defend themselves…

But third ans most embarrassing of all... he honestly, genuinely, has never seen a more amazing person in his life. Blame it on his soft spot for the stars, but the moment the MC step up to his prison bars, he was smitten...

And. He. HATED IT!

Look, as much as he loved the night sky, he wasn't about to let some random non-human derail his anger! He was stronger than that!

He managed to hold onto his bitterness just long enough to make a halfhearted attempt on their life after they got the door open, but uh…

His brothers found Belphie when he fell through a newly-made hole in the ceiling... Said hole was made when his body slammed to the ground hard enough to crash through the attic floor... 😣

If the damage they caused wasn't enough to change his mind (which it was), then their distress when they thought they might have hurt him certainly did. Even their tears looked like stardust...

After far too long, Belphie got over his denial and began to properly love MC. If he liked stargazing before, he adored it now because he never even has to get out of bed! He can just roll over and follow the "stars" on the MC's body!

Unfortunately, that same love means it also takes a lot to ditch him if they get sick of being his personal night's sky… The brothers have found him floated up and sleeping on the ceiling on numerous occasions so the mortal can get some fresh air (clever MC)...

[spxllcxstxr]

Being Regulus Black’s Younger Sister (Version 1 - Slytherin) • Headcanon

Warnings: body insecurity and eating mention, forced eating restrictions, canon child abuse and neglect by Walburga Black, Barty Crouch Jr makes an appearance

Request: Hey maybe you could do a regulus x younger sister headcanons or fix really whatever you want to do 💖 — @nicole198205

A.N: I honestly loved writing Black sister reader...this was so fun and if you liked it too and want like a real blurb or something based on any of these bullet points, you should request it. Hope you all enjoy and I love you all ❤️

Being the only girl in 12 Grimmauld Place means that you got treated differently than your brothers

Not nicer, by any means

Different in a way that meant your mother was constantly fussing over your appearance and making sure you acted “ladylike”

When you were little it was nice

You got to spend alone time with your mother in your room, she would brush your hair and pick out frilly and elegant dresses

Sure, sometimes she would purposefully tug a little too hard on your hair causing you to yelp, but it wasn’t a big deal

Eventually, though, your mother got rougher, these mother-daughter times turning into torturous hours where she’d make snippy comments about your weight and how you should appear to certain men

You weren’t even ten years old and she was already arranging your marriage to a man that, according to the Black Family Tapestry in the Drawing Room, was a distant relative

Sure she bought you dresses, and heels, and jewels, but they weren’t for you to enjoy and it wasn’t out of love or kindness

She needed you perfect for marriage

You always ran to Regulus’ room for comfort and he was always happy to listen to you vent

“If Bella, and Cissy, and Andy can deal with it, (Y/n), so can you. You’re just as strong as they are.”

You were always closer to Regulus, maybe because he was closer to you in age or because he wasn’t as rough or brash as Sirius

While Sirius taught you curse words, Regulus taught you prose and poetry

When Sirius went off to Hogwarts, the two of you got even closer

Your mother got worse when she found out that her eldest son was sorted into Gryffindor

She had a fit that day, one that consisted of her throwing pots and pans at the walls, shattering ancient artifacts, and tearing at her own hair

You and Regulus, frightened little children, hid in his closet waiting for your father to come home to calm her down

The two of you clutched each other tight, not daring to even make a noise, scared that you might be the next thing she breaks

You and Regulus weren’t allowed to say your brother’s name and all letters were snatched away and thrown into the fireplace

He was even banned from coming home for Christmas break

The two of you were dragged to even more family gatherings and balls

You particularly were forced to split your time between hanging out and learning from the other girls and presenting yourself to the boys

At night, you would sneak into your brother’s room, seeking comfort

You would talk about Sirius and how you can’t wait to get to Hogwarts

“Hogwarts’ll be different, (Y/n). No more screaming and family obligations...” He would smile, listening to a rogue sneakoscope whir in a drawer

“You’re forgetting something, Reg.” You’d sigh. “I’ll have to be on my own for a whole year before I can join you guys.”

“Well maybe mother will let you read my letters, and I can sneak in some of what Sirius wants to tell you.”

Sirius was different when he came back home for the summer

He wasn’t afraid to push your mother’s buttons a bit harder and he certainly wasn’t afraid to run his mouth a bit more

Sirius talked like the outside world like it was the best thing ever

And while you were curious about Hogwarts and the many different sorts of people that attended, your mother made it pretty clear pretty quick that even associating yourself with your older brother was worthy of some sort of punishment

And as much as you loved Sirius, you loved playing it safe even more

You didn’t outright ignore him, you did talk to him about Bella’s new boyfriend and the new quill your father bought you

But more often than not, you were with Regulus, enjoying the time you had left together

The night before Regulus had to leave for Hogwarts, you came crying into his room

“Don’t cry, sœur, it’ll be quite alright.” He would whisper in your ear, rocking you back and forth in his arm (sœur is sister in French)

But your etiquette lessons got harder and your mother got stricter, trying to make you a Perfect Slytherin Princess

Your mother was overjoyed when she got a letter saying how Regulus was sorted into Slytherin

She gave you a glass of wine (“Because that’s what ladies drink, (Y/n)!”) and told you that Regulus was a perfect role model

Regulus sent letters every week, detailing his classes and the people in his year

He made fast friends with a Bartimus Crouch Jr

He told you how Sirius would barely talk to him in the corridors ever since the sorting

Regulus would say a quick hello and Sirius would always reply, but the older brother never went out of his way to leave his friend group for a chat

Regulus would write paragraphs about why this could be before settling on the fact that it’s because of the house difference

Sirius only sent a few letters home and each time they were burnt to ash in front of you

So Regulus was your only outlet

You would tell him about how mother was starting to restrict your meals and starting to squeeze you into dresses far too small

He would offer you comforting words and distractions by talking about school, as it was far too difficult to actually help your situation through a letter

Regulus didn’t come home for Christmas break, claiming that exams were stressing him out, especially Herbology, so he’d rather continue his studies in a school environment

So that’s how the rest of your year goes

Regulus is...different when he gets back for the summer

It’s a very slight change, you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who notices

But it’s there

A bit more reserved, a bit more secretive

Childish wonder disappearing

He no longer publicly acts afraid of your mother

“It’s Sirius’ fault he’s got grounded, (Y/n). He broke a rule, now he’s facing the consequences.”

“But Reg, he didn’t do anything wrong—“

“(Y/n)! Are you trying to encourage the downfall of the Noble House of Black?!”

And that was it

But finally you were off to Hogwarts

Regulus lets you sit with him and Barty, who wears expensive shoes like you and Reg and had a slight tic with sticking his tongue out

But he was nice nonetheless less

Turns out, they were the outcasts of the outcasts

You were welcome to join when you are sorted into Slytherin

They were sure that you were going to be sorted there already

And you were dreading it

What if you weren’t a Slytherin and ended up like Sirius?

You could barely handle your family now, there’s no way you’d be able to take the extra shit Sirius gets

The hat gives you a choice

The worst choice possible

Gryffindor or Slytherin

You end up with a hatstall of 8 minutes, constantly looking between your brothers

And you beg to be placed in Slytherin

And so you join your brother and Barty at the table of the snakes

Sirius doesn’t look at you across the Great Hall

“Hey, Reg? Did the hat give you a choice too?”

“A choice between what?”

“Slytherin and Gryffindor.”

“Don’t tell anyone you got a choice. Listen, people in this house are brutal to people like you who get choices. Don’t mention it.”

“You didn’t answer my question—“

And he never does

You spend all of your time with Regulus and Barty, the other kids in your year are kinda major assholes

Regulus helps you with your homework, always making time for you

Meet ups in the library

Chess in the common room

Barty was usually with you as well

And that’s how it goes over the next few years

Even when Regulus is busy with his own classes and him being a seeker, he’ll make time for you

You always attend his matches, cheering him on

He’s a great seeker

In your fifth year, you notice how Reg and Barty change drastically

Pulling away from you, secret meetings, dark depictions and phrases hidden in notebooks

You get worried

For the first time ever you push your way through the Marauders to talk to your brother

“Oh, the Slytherin Princess arrives! Want us to bow?” He snarks, his friends laughing

“Piss off, Sirius! It’s about Reg.”

“What about him? Did he finally stop kissing Walburga’s arse?”

“It isn’t a laughing matter!” You’re practically in tears

And he listens to you as you explain all of your concerns and he ends up agreeing that that is worrisome

“What the hell did you tell Sirius?” Regulus shouts at you in the empty common room one night

“I’m worried, Reg! You’re going all dark, like what mother wants! This isn’t you!”

“This is me, believe it or not, (Y/n)! I’m not some puppet!” He shouts at you.

“Just wait, (Y/n), you’re next. Next year, it’ll be you. You can’t escape it.”

“Sirius got out of it.” You mumble

Regulus storms out and that’s the last real conversation you have with him and Barty for a long time

You get a letter from him when you graduate, something you have to hide away from your brother and the rest of the Order

Forgive me, sœur,

RAB

•

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20 @amourtentiaa @cherie-draco

Regulus Taglist: @lunalovecroft

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

Shattered: the Importance of Finarfin

From what I've seen, the Silm fandom as a whole doesn't pay a lot of attention to Finarfin. In most of the content I've seen about him, he's reduced to "the calm one," or even "the boring one." Fëanor gets attention (a lot of attention), Fingolfin gets attention too but Finarfin often just gets shunted to the side. The sedate one. The useless one.

And early this morning, I just started thinking about that. And I realized that, like, there's a whole lot of interesting stuff about Finarfin. So I thought I'd talk a bit about that here. :)

(TW for some violence and death/suicide mentions)

For the purposes of this post, I'm just going to be focusing on Finarfin's adult life. Maybe I'll do one on his childhood later if I have the spoons/people are interested.

But anyways. On to the writing.

I'm going to start our timeline when Fëanor threatens Fingolfin in Tirion. Chances are, since it was very public, Finarfin was there. He was aware, of course, that his brothers didn't get along, but watching one of your brothers take action to hurt the other? That's got to be really upsetting, especially for Finarfin, who seems to be much less volatile than either of his brothers, and much more interested in keeping the peace.

And after that? Well, we all know what happens. Fëanor's exile to Formenos. But not just Fëanor, because all his children, plus Nerdanel, go with him. Oh, and Finwë. He goes too.

Finwë who is also Finarfin's father. What do you do when your father so publicly shows that he, essentially, likes your half-brother better than you? You can't help but have a suspicion that if it had been you who'd been exiled, your father wouldn't have gone with you.

But, because you're Finarfin and you've got to be there for Fingolfin, you don't say anything. You say goodbye to your sister-in-law, and your nephews, and your father and then you set about trying to pick up the pieces. Because that's what you always do, isn't it?

And then the debacle with the Trees happens. Your home is in a blackout. This is your first time experiencing real darkness, because you were born in Valinor and have pretty much seen only light or twilight. You're confused and frightened already, and then you find out that your father is dead.

You haven't seen him for years. And now he's gone.

But you've got to be there for your wife, and your children, and your brother, so you deal with it (like you always do).

And then, suddenly, Fëanor's a Valar-hating revolutionary and you're trying to calm him down, but does he even recognize you at this point?

And then he's leaving, and Fingolfin and your other set of sibkids are packing up too, because apparently he has to go to make sure Fëanor will be all right, and Fingon needs to follow his cousin, and the others want to see Middle Earth. You try to persuade them not too, but it it doesn't work. Well, at least you have your children, you think.

And then they come to you and tell you that they're leaving too. And what can you do but follow them? Eärwen says she won't, and someone has to be with them. So you pack your things and you tell your wife you are sorry and you go.

It couldn't possibly get worse, could it? And then, of course, it does, because when you reach the Swanhavens, the beautiful, pearly harbor city where your in-laws live, Fëanor doesn't take no for an answer and decides to just take what he wants.

And there's blood in the sea and the white paving stones turn red, and you and your children are just trying to stop it all but then you look down and you see Eärwen's parents lying on the pier with their throats cut and you know you have to go back.

So you do. Alone. You throw yourself on the mercy of the Valar and they grant it. You go home to your wife and neither of you speak for days because what is there to say when everything has fallen apart?

But, because you are Finarfin and it's what you do, you and Eärwen start organizing relief for the surviving Teleri, and you help the Valar as much as you can. You light lamps in the darkness until the moon rises. You wonder if your children are looking at it too.

From some stragglers of Fëanor's pack, coming back to Tirion, you learn that Fingolfin was betrayed. That Fëanor burned the ships.

And you learn that your children, and your brother, and your niece and nephews, and everyone else, are all on the Helcaraxë. You try not to imagine them freezing to death, or drowning in a black ocean, or buried in the snow, or all the other things that keep you up at night.

Things go back to normal, essentially. Tirion stops being quite as much of a ghost city, and you and Eärwen learn to live in your silent, silent house.

And years pass. You learn from one of the Returned that Fëanor is dead, has been dead for a long time, and you feel a numb sort of grief but it doesn’t really touch you anymore. Your nephew comes home, serious and dull-eyed. You embrace him and you weep. 

It would be a lie to say that you weren’t expecting it someday, but when you open the door to a soft knocking and see Angrod standing outside, you and Eärwen cry and cry. He tells you that Aegnor will not be coming back, that he fell in love with a mortal woman and waits for her with Mandos. You learn to accept this, because there is no alternative. You are Finarfin. You should be used to this by now.

And the years pass, and the years pass, and its a Maia of Námo knocking at your door this time, telling you that Fingolfin is dead, killed by Morgoth, and that he will not be returning from Mandos anytime soon. You ask if you can see him. You hear that he will see no one. You write him a letter for every day anyways.

And there are many more. Five of your nephews from Fëanor’s side are dead, but who knows where they are. Finrod comes home, smiling a smile that doesn’t touch his haunted eyes. Fingon comes too, and sits in your garden for hours, staring at Nerdanel’s statue of Maitimo. Aredhel appears and stands at the seashore, waiting for her son to join her. He does, with Turgon and thousands of others behind him. Aredhel weeps. You rub her back and feel just as helpless as you did at the beginning of it all. 

And the years pass, and the years pass, and Tyelpë comes home, wary and weary, and tells Finarfin that Galadriel has gotten married. 

But she is a child, you almost say, and then you realize that she is not. Not anymore.

And the years pass, and the years pass, and suddenly your are going to Middle Earth again, with a divine army behind you, and you are standing at the gates of Angband and listening to Morgoth’s screams. You stand beside Eönwë and you feel nothing but revulsion. You do not touch the Silmarils when they are taken down.

You had hoped to see Galadriel, but she is not there. Someone tells you that she is expecting a child.

And then there are your two remaining nephews, desperate and wracked with pain, and they beg for the Silmarils, and you would’ve given them, but Eönwë shakes his regal, feathered head.

So they steal them in the night. It isn’t surprising. Why are you surprised? Why are you crying?

Later, you hear that Maitimo--Maedhros, now--killed himself. You begin steeling yourself to tell Fingon when you get home. 

And the years pass, and the years pass, and you wait for your daughter, but it is her daughter that comes first, barely able to stand, her hand shaking like leaves in the wind. She looks up at you and then buries her head in your chest. You stroke her hacked-off hair and this time you do not cry. 

You wait, with Eärwen, with Finrod and Angrod, and now Celebrían, who is waiting thrice over, for her parents, for her children, for her husband. You wait.

And finally, finally she comes home, flickering like a candle in the wind. Her husband, Celeborn, comes first, tells you that she will soon arrive, embraces you and calls you ada.

And then Celebrían’s husband comes, breaks the news that their daughter is not coming, will never come. Finarfin rests his hands on their shoulders as their tears fall into the sea. 

His great-grandsons come later, and bearing a bedraggled someone between them, and it is first Finarfin and then Elrond who recognizes those grey eyes, that once-melodious voice. 

Uncle, says your one surviving nephew. I am sorry.

And, because you are Finarfin, you take his burned, bloody hands and lead him up the beach and towards the city, because if this can happen, perhaps there’s hope for all the others too. 

[deepslateemeraldore]

goin’ crazy from the moment i met you

for the @itfandomprompts gift exchange! this is my gift for @a-portable-snack who requested “ (college Au) Losers go to karaoke and Richie sings Untouched by the Veronicas to Eddie drunkenly and Reddie Chaos ensues “! hope you enjoy this!!!

   - 4k words   - Mentions of weed and alcohol   - Mentions of Bill’s past relationship   - Talks of crushes

  Sleepy college towns are never really thought of as anything other than that. They’re small, oftentimes quiet communities, with bands of young adults trying to find their places in the grand scheme of things. There’s heartbreak, love, loss, and on occasion, loud drunken nights singing karaoke obnoxiously and proudly in the shitty little dive bars that offered such sad excuses for attention. Who in their right mind would find such an embarrassing pastime enjoyable?  

   The answer: Eddie Kaspbrak. A rising star in the world of local track and field, and often found running wild with his band of misfits on the weekends (though, to him, the fact that they were misfits is what made their bond so strong). He couldn’t help the image that the town had put together about him, trotting at the heels of the other town losers; Bill Denbrough, Mike Hanlon, Stanley Uris, Beverly Marsh, Ben Hanscom, and last but not least, Richard Tozier (though, calling him anything besides “Richie” was bound to get you an earful unless you were his mother). 

 If only the judging eyes could see Eddie, laughing himself sick amongst said friends, singing songs that hadn’t been popular since his elementary school years. They’d take turns picking their most hated songs to sing at each other while the recipient of that round would make sour faces at the offender (but secretly, they wouldn’t be upset. They’d think it was the most hilarious thing, only to be replaced by the following week's act of tomfoolery and embarrassment).

 In fact, karaoke had become a sort of group therapy for the clan of friends. It fell into routine after everyone’s first year at college ended with Richie using his newly acquired fake ID to load up the back of Bev’s car with enough beer to last a whole winter. The three drank at Bill’s until their knees went numb, and ended up wandering around downtown for a bit, stumbling into a shitty dive when the need for greasy food set in. By mistake, Bev signed up for karaoke, and the rest is history. Ben came the next time with Mike, who invited Stanley who invited Eddie. The latter of the two had stood solid on their stance of karaoke being dumb and childish until they’d decided to duet to “Total Eclipse of the Heart” in homage to changing majors. Eddie had never felt more alive than in that moment. 

 Over time, the song selection had grown from moody teenage anthems to half-time show routines, before settling comfortably in a genre appealing to only the chaotically single and nostalgically lonely. That’s not to say they were sad songs, oftentimes they were very fun and upbeat songs, but lyrically they could bring a drunk Bill Denbrough to his knees (though that was a very easy task that only required a small amount of hard liquor). 

 However, one particular night at the Bleu Jay will forever have a choke hold on Eddie Kaspbrak’s tender heart. 

 It was an average Saturday in late March, and he and Bev had spent the morning at various craft stores hunting for diploma frames. Bev had graduated the past winter with a BA in Textile and Apparel Studies, immediately accepting an offer to work with the Penobscot Theatre (along with several other theatres in Maine). She became impassioned for the art made by local seamstresses, and it was clear the feeling was mutual as soon as she joined the team. 

 Eddie would be graduating at the end of that spring with a Bachelors in Statistics (although it was assumed he would enroll in a new program for Anatomy and Biology the coming fall), becoming the fourth of his friend group to get his degree. And he was proud of himself, little “Wheezie” Kaspbrak, coddled by his mother until he could break free, going to college against family wishes and proving that he had more to him than what was publicly thought. And it was exhilarating in the same vein, existing outside of his mother's (womb) house. 

 And, as almost every Saturday since becoming legal went, they set out to celebrate with drinks. And karaoke. 

 Mike and Stan arrived first, Bill, Ben, and Richie next, and lastly, Bev and Eddie. The agreed upon meeting time was always seven thirty, and like every Saturday, Bev and Eddie were late. 

 “Man, you guys are s-s-so late,” Bill slurred, sitting shotgun in Ben’s car with the door propped open. Bev hadn’t even put the car park by the time the smell of shitty weed had made itself known. Bev giggled as she opened her door, shooting Eddie a look as if to say “this should be hilarious.” Eddie followed Bev’s lead, opening the door of the ‘99 Camry, careful not to slam the door too hard, and checking that the mirror had not fallen off (again. It was a junk car, but it ran like a dream, Bev would say). 

 “I already sm-smoked all Richie’s weed, Bev.” Bill followed up. Eddie took one solid look at his friend and let out his own little laugh. Mike led everyone from the parking lot into the bar, and after having their IDs checked (they came weekly, at this point you’d think the poor old bouncer wouldn’t care) they made way to their table. It was the only horseshoe booth in the place, furthest away from the bar counter, and the best place to be loud without getting any funny looks from other patrons. They were also the largest group to ever set foot in the dive.

 Mike would always sit in the middle, Stan and Bill on either side of him, Ben then Bev sitting to Stan’s left, Richie then Eddie to Bill’s right. Just like always. Stan ordered the first round of drinks, making sure to order Bill’s Bloody Mary with more tomato juice and less vodka (the conversation outside the bar between he and Richie about Bill being a “One Hit Wonder” went right over the accused’s head, making for a good laugh all around) and Eddie’s Appletini sans garnish. Bev chimed in to ask for a basket of fries, making Stan’s eyes shine bright. 

 “I knew there was a reason we’ve kept you around, Marsh.” He teased, clapping a hand on her shoulder. Ben smiled at the interaction, happy to see the most tense member of their group relaxing so soon into the evening. As soon as the waiter stepped away, small talk grew into a medium rumble, and talk about classes and grad school and professors everyone hated began to snowball. It only got worse as drinks made their way around.

 “I thought Richie said Short was a good head for the theatre department?” Mike asked Bev softly. Before Bev could respond, Richie had butted in. 

 “No, Mikey, I said Short gives good head to the theatre department,” Was Richie’s reply as he knocked back a shot of Jameson and winced. “Everyone loves a good gum job from-“

 “Beep Beep, Richie.” That was Eddie, exasperated having to hear about the old guy for what felt like the hundredth time. Richie turned to his friend, mock hurt, and scoffed. 

 “But Ed’s, you love to hear about me getting all the foxy grandpas and-“ Eddie’s cheeks flushed pink. 

 “I said beep beep, Dick. Shut up.” Richie stared at Eddie meekly as Eddie turned back to the group and picked up his martini. Without missing a beat, he spoke to Bill. 

 “So, are you and Audra on speaking terms now?” The table sat quiet as Eddie spoke, partially because the tone he’d just used was borderline frightening, but also because Richie had never shut up that quickly before. Bev would have to commend him on it later. Bill cleared his throat. 

 “We t-t-talked about it on Wednesday. I went to s-see her after her shift and all was f-fine. She said she’d rather see me h-happy with a guy than mi-miserable with her.” He shrugged, taking a sip of the water Stan had slyly moved closer to him. Bev nodded, as did Ben, Richie, Eddie. Everyone took a drink. Richie cleared his throat.

 “I’m happy for you, man. Really. Growth and all that shit. Mazel tov or whatever.” Everyone laughed save for Stan, who groaned, sinking into the booth. 

 “So, are we tipsy enough to start singing or does the Donner Party minus Bill need another round?” Richie asked, looking around the table. He was met with stares of confusion. 

 “Why are we the Donner Party minus Bill?” Ben inquired trying to connect the dots mentally. 

 “Because Bill fell off the wagon after I let him hit BabySpice in the parking lot.”  Ben nodded, not bothering to inquire further. Bill made a noise of protest, but was too eager to make a fool of himself on the small bar stage to say otherwise. 

 And so the night began. They moved as a herd to the DJ booth, signing their names after finding a song (although, Eddie had to sign Bill’s name and song, seeing as the lightweight was a bit too fucked up to hold the pen properly. Seriously, one hit and half a Bloody Mary?), then retreating back to the booth, awaiting their names being called to the stage when it was time. They had a few more sips and laughs in between.

 Mike was called first. Mike usually went first just to ease the tension, but tonight he seemed almost a bit too excited to go first. 

 “Is it just me, or is he skipping up there?” Eddie asked Richie, leaning in and whispering while still keeping his eyes on Mike. He felt Richie lean in a little closer to him, too, making his cheeks flush pink again. 

 “I think he might have a crush on someone,” Richie motioned with his head to Bill very subtly. “But, you didn’t hear that from me.” Eddie’s eyes grew to the size of saucers as he turned to face Richie, who smirked and held a finger up to his lips. “Shhh.” Eddie let out a light chuckle, turning his attention back to Mike on stage. The song started up as Mike waved to his friends, who smiled back and began to sway to the music. 

 Eddie smiled to himself as he zoned out, thinking about what Richie has just said. Mike and Bill. Bill and Mike. It didn’t bother Eddie in the slightest, in fact, he became almost excited at the thought of them two dating. They’d always been close, and they’d always made a really good team. And if Bill thought the same way about Mike, then that’d be just dandy! But Bill did just get out of a relationship, but he also seemed happy to bring up the whole “happier with a guy” thing… who knows? Not Eddie. Not in the slightest. Eddie reached for his drink, bringing it close and sipping it throughout Mike’s song, thinking. 

 He thought about “crushes” he’s had in the past on a few girls from his childhood, then the crushes he had in middle and high school on boys, and the crush that he’s had on the same boy since high school. He felt his neck grow hot and downed the last few sips of his martini. Mike’s song ended and they all cheered, although Eddie wouldn’t have been able to tell you what song he’d even sang. The waiter came by their table as Mike came back, earning a pat on the back from Ben (who was up next) and a thumbs up from Bill who appeared to be… blushing? God, if Bill was blushing then I must look like a damn lobster, Eddie thought, then turned to the waiter and asked for a Long Island Iced Tea, sub the rum for extra tequila. 

 The waiter was back within the first minute of Ben’s song, prompting Eddie to waste no time sucking his drink down. His first sip took a bit more than a third of the glass and burned only slightly on its way down. He took another big sip, the glass now just below halfway, which earned a sneering chuckle from Richie, lightly sipping his fourth Jack & Coke.

 “You got a hot date or s’mthin?” Richie asked, almost a little too close to Eddie’s ear.

Now I probably look like a ripe fucking beet, just peachy. Eddie blinked, turned his head to look at Stan and jeered back:

 “Yes, actually. Stanley and I were talking about bringing a himbo or two back to the condo. Why, you think you qualify?” It was Eddie’s turn to smirk, and the blank look on Richie’s face counted as a victory in his book. Eddie focused his attention back to Ben on stage, clapping for his friend as the song finished, hoping his blush was subtle. Richie sat completely still.

 Bev went after Ben, planting a kiss on his cheek as they walked past each other. Bev sang “Baby Got Back”, much to the surprise of everyone other than Eddie (they’d discussed these important matters on the drive). Bill went after Bev, Richie after Bill (although in everyone’s mind, the “Tequila” song did not count, which earned him a do-over for after Stan went), Eddie after Richie (Eddie was also razzed for choosing “Sweet Caroline” due to its extremely popular nature with the drunk crowd), and Stan following last. Eddie had enjoyed Stan’s song, “SexyBack” but only because once Stan was nearing drunk, he would go all out with his dance moves, getting the entire bar (really, the only 5 others in the bar besides the losers) to clap with him. It was fun! It was all fun! 

 Until Richie got up to perform his do-over song. Eddie had gotten up to let him out of the booth, but the way Richie’s normally swinging gait sagged was cause for concern in Eddie’s inebriated mind. Bill, now far too “drunk” from a grand total of three and a half shots worth of alcohol, was whooping and hollering as Richie talked to the DJ. Eddie was prepared, as was the rest of the table, for Richie to choose something to get off easy, something in the family of “Rolling in the Deep” or “Jolene”, with Stan bidding on “Hand in my Pocket” because “it’s just a karaoke classic!”. 

 The conversation roaring around the table while Richie and the DJ looked for some song that wasn’t coming up in the catalog turned to making fun of Bill, who had claimed his “high was wearing off” and that he had “never been this brunk defore”, earning a hearty laugh from the six. Stan and Eddie worked to prop Bill up so he was at least not head first on the table. In fact, they would’ve all missed Richie starting if it hadn’t been for the tapping on the microphone, followed by:

 “Hello, I am slightly tipsy and extremely sorry for what you are all about to see.” Violins came from the speakers surrounding the stage, and when Eddie looked at the screen behind Richie’s head, the panic set in, surrounding the bar in the sounds of 2000’s pop. 

 Richie began to dance, albeit very poorly, to “Untouched” by The Veronicas. He was a little drunk. Eddie was a little drunk. A man sitting at a booth near the DJ was clapping and cheering, and also probably a little drunk. The losers were clapping and cheering. Eddie felt like he was inside an ice cube, and also like he was going to pass out. 

 “I go ooh ooh, you go aah aah,

Lalalala, lalalala,” Richie began to sing, his voice reaching somewhere between a valley girl and a horrible Britney Spears impression. 

“I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want, don’t stop,” Richie sang to the man in the booth, who hadn’t stopped clapping. It occurred to Eddie in that moment that Richie couldn’t be drunk. Drunk Richie was funny, aloof, extra clumsy, and could barely mutter out a proper sentence. No amount of alcohol would make him do this.

 Eddie tore his eyes away from his friend on stage, intensely studying the remaining ice in his glass. He tried to bring a hand up to fiddle with the straw, to keep himself distracted, but the way his hand shook was going to give away everything he was trying to keep in. Don’t look up. Don’t look up. Don’t look UP. If he thought about it hard enough, Eddie supposed he could have made himself throw up from the amount of sudden stress (which was code for Gay Panic) building in his abdomen. He could faintly hear Bev and Bill cheering, and out of the corner of his eye caught Stan standing up in the booth to join in the support of his friend. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. 

  “Cause you’re the only one who’s on my mind, I’ll never ever let you leave, I’ll try to stop time forever, never wanna hear you say goodbye,” jerked Eddie back to reality, but only because he could feel his worst fear currently coming true. 

 Richie had stepped off the stage, and Eddie had looked over at him just as he had made his way through the small crowd of the bar (and as far as the mic cord would allow). Eddie could feel the eyes shift to him, and was certain that if you hooked him up to an EKG, he would be legally pronounced dead. 

 “I feel so untouched and I want you so much, that I just can’t resist you,” Eddie could tell by the look in his eyes, Richie was determined about something. 

 “It’s not enough to say that I miss you,” maybe this was directed at Bill, because Richie had a crush on him once upon a time. 

 “I feel so untouched right now, need you so much somehow, I can’t forget you,” or maybe this was directed at the guy, sitting alone by the DJ who hasn’t stopped clapping. Maybe Richie was being dramatic, building tension. 

 “Goin crazy from the moment I met you.” It was the direct eye contact Eddie had accidentally made with Richie that kick started his heart. This was directed at him holy shit. 

 “And I need you so much,” Eddie could hear Bev yelling for him to get up, he could feel Stan trying to shove him out of the booth, to go up there right fucking now because this is your one fucking chance. And like some miserable, absolute asinine fool, Eddie stood up, betraying every nerve in his body. He couldn’t hear Richie singing anymore, he could hear anyone in the bar clapping or hollering, hell he could barely even make out Richie’s face as he walked towards him. He watched his lips move, god I’ve never wanted to kiss someone more than right now, tip toeing, trying to keep his balance, trying to make it to Richie before someone else takes the opportunity. 

 There were only a handful of times where Eddie Kaspbrak had felt completely in charge of his situation. The most notable being the day the town bullies broke his arm, and instead of letting them win, he got up and laughed in their faces, sending them running for the hills. However, that was about to be bumped down.

 Without breaking the eye contact, without breaking the cadence of his walk, Eddie Kaspbrak reached out to grab Richie Tozier, his crush, his damned high school through today crush, by the collar of his unbuttoned flannel, god it’s so soft, causing Richie to drop the microphone just as Eddie pulled him down to kiss him. Edward Kaspbrak was kissing Richard Tozier right now in the shitty karaoke bar in fucking Bangor, Maine. And it. Felt. So. Right. 

 It was like all was suddenly right in the world, the planets had aligned, and Santa Claus himself has just had delivered the best fucking gift to the both of them. Eddie felt Richie’s hands grab at his cheeks, then fly around his shoulders, trying to get closer, both of them numb to the fact that they we’re making out in front of their friends and a handful of strangers in a shitty dive bar! Who FUCKING knew?!?

 Eddie pulled away first, partly because of shock, partly because he wanted to open his damn eyes and look at this, commit it to memory. Everything around him became more clear. Bev and Stan screeching, the rest of the losers whistling, and a few of the random patrons subjected to this very odd-and-overtly-sexual non-verbal confession of love. Of love. Richie let the microphone fall to the floor, feedback scratching through the speakers. 

 “This isn’t the way I thought this would happen,” Eddie chuckled, letting Richie pull him into a hug, still in the center of the bar. “But it makes too much sense because it’s you.” He felt Richie press a kiss to his hair, then drop an arm to grab one of his hands. 

 “Let’s, uh, let’s get out of here, yeah?” Richie struggled to get out, his smile distracting Eddie from the fact that his hair was matted to his forehead via sweat. Eddie only nodded, leading Richie past the table of their friends (who had begun to chant “Get a room! Get a room! Get a room!”, earning a swift flick of the bird from both Richie and Eddie), out the door of the bar, giggles from both parties ringing out all the way to Richie’s car, then into Richie’s car, and finally as Richie drove away in his car. 

 The losers had gotten up one by one to follow them out, not even upset at the fact that they would have to cram into two cars now. Stan and Bev were out the door first, still wolf whistling as their (lovebird) friends drove off, Bill, Mike, and Ben at their heels. 

 “Wow, now that’s the m-miracle of lo-blargh,” everyone had turned just in time to see Bill barf up soggy French fries and an obscene amount of water. Calls of:

 “Jesus Christ,”

  “Eww, Bill,”

 “And that’s why we give you water, lightweight,” rang out in their circle, the friends taking a step back, Mike motioning for Bill to take a seat on the curb they stood on. 

 “I think that’s our cue to leave,” Bev stated.

“Ben, you wanna run in and pay the tab real quick? Take my card.” Ben nodded as Bev extended her hand with a card to him, disappearing back into the bar a final time. 

 “So, Marsh, where’s that twenty you bet me our Senior year?” Stan joked, helping Mike get Bill standing again, heading towards the cars. Bev laughed, throwing her head back. 

 “Where’s my twenty for saying Eddie was going to be the one to kiss him first?!” Bev shot back, reaching into her bag to pull out a crumpled twenty. Stan reached into his pocket, producing a folded crisp bill. They exchanged cash, laughing. 

 “This made no sense,” Bill offered coherently, stumbling closer to Mike. Stan and Bev turned to face him. 

“Why did Mike sing a Blondie song if he’s not blond?” It was Mike’s turn to throw his head back, letting out a hearty guffaw, before turning to Bill and responding. 

 “It’ll make sense someday,” Mike offered, wrapping his arm around Bill’s shoulder. Bill smiled, and shut up promptly. 

 They all sat around the parking lot for a while talking, sobering up. Bev had had a few cigarettes, sharing with Bill hoping to bring him back to earth. It was just as Mike and Bev got ready to drive off when Richie and Eddie pulled back into the parking lot, swinging between the two cars. Both were smiling messes, giggling and pink with a few new bruises on each of their necks. 

 “Just to put this out there, Eddie Kaspbrak fucks!” Richie yelled, peeling out from between his friends' cars, Eddie laughing and yelling “no! No! Shut up!” Between laughing fits, pulling back out onto the main road once more, riding off into the night. 

 “Let’s make that an extra twenty, Miss Marsh.” Stan smirked, waving at Bev shaking her head. Ben waved back as they pulled out of the lot. 

 “I should’ve thought this through more.” Bev laughed, reaching for Ben’s hand, and joining the other two cars on the road home. 

[professor-vanad]

Alright, I've made you a guide for having the old guy over. Its relatively lengthy though so I've posted it too my blog under the title "old man porygon care guide" with some pokemon and porygon tags if you need to search for it. So check that out and save it to your blog for later.

As for your question, I did get in contact with silphco when I was doing my whole tedious detective work adventure (and Gordon is asking I let you know that he's making fun of me for "asking silphco" ending up being like step 14 in my figure out porygons past and why he's acting like an old man research quest despite it being the most obvious first step to take)

But they were less than helpful, saying how a lot of the stuff surrounding porygon and how to make them are some sort of company secret not available to the public.

(And from the way you're talking, it sounds like they might not be being completely transparent with researchers either so oof.)

And when I talked about stuff like health concerns for old dude, I couldn't seem to get anyone to even consider them being a beta porygon at all, instead only working under the assumption that he's another failed modders attempt at a porygon evolution like the original context of the dubious disk.

Even after I went through all that effort of tracking down machines able to read information stored in pokeballs that typically isn't displayed publicly when viewing them in a pc, but is instead usually used by law enforcement for returning lost pokemon, which put his first date of capture a good time before porygon were released to the public.

So it would be a heck of a task to pull off a bootleg of something that wasn't publicly available yet.

And I was able to track down and talk too previous owners dating back too 19 years ago, and none of them were particularly tech savvy either.

So that still brought up some worrying stuff that if his weirdness is a mix of being really old AS WELL as from being modded, then he would have been living with the mods for a minimum of 19 years, and still wouldn't have made him NOT a pre-release beta porygon, which was a lingering issue with attempts to talk too silphco people and them not taking me seriously.

They also offered for me to send them the old guy to attempt to repair him, but pretty heavily implied I wouldn't be getting him back if I gave him up, presumably as a way of discouraging irresponsible modding of porygon.

So that's hella suspicious, and I'm not gonna be doing that.

As for proof of chansey eggs improving general porygon quality of life?

I literally only have the few years I've spent with old man porygon for reference, who's apparently super weird for a porygon anyway, so I'm probably the wrong person to figure out that sort of thing. I just know he became a lot less spacy and tired all the time when I switched him too eggs, and later too berrys/pokebeans that are still on the tree/vine once I was able to start growing those myself and the sanctuary pokemon were able to help themselves instead of me buying fruit from the market (though pretty sure that was more an improvement of getting them reasons to go outside on their own regularly instead of napping indoors. Since it wasn't as dramatic a change as the chansey eggs).

But when it comes to fixing him, I guess if it comes to it, and all that can really be done is essentially build a new porygon out of the corpse of the old one, well.... I'm usually all about pokemon being able to learn enough to make their own decisions, but I'm not quite sure that's a concept the old man would really be able to comprehend in his current state.

Regardless though, the obligation would still be to try and have him understand as much as he can and see what they want based on their options.

Although if they imply something like " I want to go home" don't be jumping to conclusions about them asking to die with dignity at home.

He is not very smart and is terrible at euphemisms, so chances are what he would actually mean is "I would rather do difficult thinking on my pillow in the living room at home".

Trust me, I've been burned by their thought process before.

Don't jump to conclusions that they have things figured out or that they understood you unless it's a very simple statement you can get immediate results from like saying "come here" or "do you want food option A or B".

And it wouldn't surprise me if what it took to actually get their consent to such a thing, would be to literally have you travel to the sanctuary and have you sit there with porygon in the houses living room, drawing on whiteboards and using videos and explaining it over and over in slightly different ways until it clicks with him and he gives a straight answer.

I mean I've gotten used to having to go out of my way to find ways to deal with his senility, but that would be a hell of a rigmarole to rope some stranger into.

Heck, I've already gone and frightened my employee Gordon about the possibility of a long and tedious porygon detective adventure part 2 just talking about this stuff.

That post was brilliant! Thank you. I may have a few follow-up questions down the line but this is a great start.

Woof. I... you know, I’ve had multiple run-ins with Silph that have left me uneasy. i can empathise with wanting to “crack-down” on modding for the Porygons’ sake, they’ve had people come to them to fix their lousy mods since the first generation. So, I mean it is a problem of sorts but not as widespread as that attitude would have you believe. Being that blatant is surprising. That’s not to say I don’t believe you, I absolutely do, but I’m surprised that they were that dismissive off the bat. I think you were right to trust your gut there.

There’s a lot about your case that isn’t adding up with what I know, which is only a problem because it’s likely we won’t have a previous case to work off of. 19 years and at least two trainers who, I’m guessing, didn’t really notice anything unusual about Old Dude apart from his size and catch record prior to Porygon’s official release is the most complete dead end I can think of. I reckon I’ll be able to find some information when I take a look at his programming. Though, that will depend on how willing he is to co-operate there.

Which brings me to the possible “fix”. Rest assured, I have no intention of doing anything that Old Dude is uncertain about or uncomfortable with. It’s still only a possibility rather than a certainty and if it came to it, I’d be able to give you both more detailed information. My warning was as much for you because I don’t doubt I’m going to need your help, especially when it comes to communication. Whatever it takes to help him understand, I’m happy to do it. The ‘rigmarole’ is part of the job. He’s no hassle. Even if he was, Arceus knows I have practice. Four of them.

[irwinkitten]

feisty | a.i

pairing: oc x werewolf!ash  notes: so i’ve been inspired with supernatural stuff thanks to @5sosnsfw, @converse-luke, @theagenderwhocriedwolf and @calumsmermaid and since I’ve been working on demon!5sos for a while I went through my stuff and found this beast of a fic. Pls enjoy I am going to try and tell myself off to stop writing 20k+ pieces lmao  warnings: mentions of death, mentions abuse (nothing explicit, just in passing conversation)  word count: 21k lmao 

-

Being a human amongst a pack of wolves was difficult.

Despite being the Beta’s first born, Cassidy had been born without the shifting gene. Most said that it was a common thing to happen, but when the Alpha researched it, it was quickly understood that it was a rare thing to happen.

Soon she began to get shunned.

Her Alpha and father treated her with the same respect. But others deemed her unworthy to even be included.

To the point where she lost such a big chance to meet her mate because she chose to be homeschooled.

Children were cruel.

Despite the lack of her shifter gene, she quickly rose through the ranks. She was a good strategist. She heard things that the shifters missed. Her human eyes pointed out the flaw that their perfect vision would always ignore.

Because she fought for her place in the pack, she gained respect from the elders. They listened to her and never belittled her. The younger shifters took a different route. They tried to sabotage her plans.

This time she’d had enough.

Storming through the Pack house, people kept clear of the anger that was visible. The argument was brewing.

It was a regular argument but this time, there was almost a finality to the way she moved.

Slamming through to Alpha Lockard’s office, the elders fell silent as the door slammed shut, ignoring the flinch from the Alpha’s son.

“Cassidy,” Her head snapped to Alpha Isaac, not daring to defy a direct order, “There will be no repercussions from this meeting. What happens here will remain here.” She went straight for the jugular.

“So many times, so many times you have tried to sabotage the raids I’ve conducted.”

“Because they were useless.” The teenager snorted.

“Leo, quit it.” The Alpha snapped at his son, Cassidy took in deep breaths to reign in her anger.

“The raids you attempted to sabotage never failed because what you planned was anticipated. But this time, a wolf died! And it is entirely your fault Leo Lockard!” She shrieked, her anger finally taking control as her hands shook.

The anger was undiluted and burning. So was the pain of losing her best friend. She’d promised him that it would be easy. She promised him that he’d be safe

Leo looked shocked for less than a second before his face turned to indifference.

“He shouldn’t have been playing hero anyway.” His answer was drowned out by a variety of growls. The loudest coming from their Alpha.

She lost her tight reign and her hand snapped out, striking Leo square in the face. There was a satisfying crunch despite the pain that shot up her arm.

“Dad!”

“I didn’t see anything.” He deadpanned, his eyebrow raising, daring his son to protest. He ignored the look his father sent him.

“Dad, she hit me! The filthy human hit me!” That deflated the fight out of her. Of course, he would use her humanity.

“Do you not understand how much trouble you’re in?” Alpha Isaac snarled and a look of fear flitted across Leo’s face. “You knowingly sabotaged our strategists plan and in doing so resulted in the death of a talented wolf, a loved friend and the rest barely made it out with the target wolf we were trying to save!”

Cassidy watched with satisfaction as the colour drained from Leo’s face. Retribution.

“He was trying to play hero!” Leo protested and this time Cassidy responded, cutting across her Alpha.

“He was rescuing the four-year-old that rogues kidnapped and tried to rape. It was only because of her wolf they didn’t touch her!” She shouted, getting closer to the young shifter. “He is the reason she’s alive! You are the reason they both nearly died!” A small part of her brain noted that her throat was aching, the raw power from her voice scratching her throat. But she ignored it.

“Get away from me, freak.” He spat at her and she responded with another hit to his face. Her hand was protesting now, but she ignored it. Compartmentalising it so that she could focus on the anger.

“You cannot keep using my humanity as a reason for failures! I have done nothing but succeed and all you can do is weep with your tail between your legs because your own father knows that you taking over the pack would be an absolute disaster!” She all but screamed at him.

The room went deadly silent at her words.

Her Alpha stood behind her. She could feel the heat and saw Leo’s eyes widen in fear.

“Cassidy, you realise that by stating that, you’re pinning these accusations to the Alpha’s son?”

“I accept that, and have sufficient evidence to support my accusations.” Leo’s eyes widened in fear.

“Seeing as we have the elders needed. Judge and Jury will happen now. Elder Orion?” The man wearing the light blue suit, his hair peppered with grey throughout the dark locks.

Leo looked terrified.

“What evidence do you have, child?” Cassidy ignored the pleading look from Leo, her eyes flickering to the Alpha before looking at Elder Orion.

“Eyewitnesses who saw Leo Lockard move to divert the course of action to save Talon Scarsa and the young she-wolf the rogues took. Not only that but three older wolves had heard Leo discussing it thoroughly with the she-wolf who he has claimed as his mate.”

The entire room went still.

Cassidy counted to five before her Alpha snapped the door open.

“GET KALLIE TYSON HERE NOW.” A yelp echoed up to the room.

Suddenly, two of the fighter wolves flanked the baby-faced she-wolf; whose eyes took in the room and then saw Leo. Understanding dawned instantly and Cassidy tried her hardest not to call Kallie out on it.

“Sit. Now.” She didn’t defy the Alpha, taking a seat next to Leo, only to practically jump onto the other couch at Alpha Lockard’s snarl.

“You are here as an accomplice to the death of a fighter who was trying to rescue the captured she-wolf. Do you deny knowledge of what was going to happen?”

She was silent, shooting Leo a frightened look. Leo ignored her. She shook her head.

Elder Orion moved on.

“Leo Lockard, do you deny sharing information and acting on a plan to sabotage the strategists plan to rescue the she-wolf?”

“Yes.” The word was so vicious as he glared at Cassidy. She returned it, refusing to bow down to him. She’d learnt to never defy her Alpha but his son, she publicly defied him. He wasn’t her Alpha.

“For your defiance, you will receive the harshest punishment if found guilty.”

“She dies if I’m not.” The snarl sent chills down her spine, but she held his gaze. He looked away first.

“This needs to be settled. Cassidy, I’m going to push the link through you. I need to see the first-hand accounts.” She nodded, letting her eye shut as the Alpha placed both hands on her temples.

Cassidy could feel the pack link push through her human mind. There was a sharp pain, but she moved it to where the pain from her hand was. She focused on the conversations, the items she saw, the words spoken. Elder Orion placed his hand on Alpha Lockard’s arm. A second intrusion pushed her mind and she flinched.

“Pathetic human.” The words registered in her brain, fleeting memories of him attacking her as a child distracting the first-hand problem before she refocused.

By the time the Alpha and Elder pulled away, her body was trembling. Normally, contact was needed for private viewings or humans. The pack link was open to all the shifters. But she didn’t have the gene.

The two joined with the other three Elders in the room and her father, the Beta. Leo glared at her, earning a sharp growl from the warrior stood at the doorway.

“Either way, your time is short, filth.” The warrior took the threat seriously, taking position in front of Cassidy with a growl. Leo fell silent and Kallie shot him another terrified look.

The group broke apart.

They turned to Kallie first.

“Kallie Tyson. You did not deny knowledge. You have been found guilty for having knowledge of this crime. You are hereby stripped of any title that could be earnt. Because you only had knowledge but did not assist, you will be monitored for the rest of your time. Should you find your mate, they too will be monitored. For the next year you are banned from shifting. You will wear a tracking device and your shifting will be supervised by at least three elders and two other wolves of their choice. You will have curfew and are banned from travelling around the pack without an escort. Defy these orders results in exile or death if the breach is severe enough.”

At Elder Orion’s words, she burst into tears, her entire body shaking as a strangled howl escaped her lips, her body twitching. Leo spared no glance to the girl he proclaimed as his mate.

They turned to Leo who glared at his father. Elder Orion glared at Leo who cowered at the gaze.

“Leo Lockard. You denied knowledge of the sabotage. You denied that it was you who led the group. You denied knowledge that you knowingly attempted to leave a pack member and warrior to die. This is treason. You are stripped from Alpha titles. Your wolf will be bound till your last breath. You are stripped of a mate, you are hereby banished from this pack and any pack you attempt to enter. You will face the pack with your crimes and take any punishment they see fit before banishment. Upon exile, if you attempt to re-enter the border the warriors are ordered to kill on sight.”

Leo seemed to shrink as each title was stripped from him. Instead of a howl from him, a howl from the pack house caused Alpha Isaac to snarl.

“You found your mate yet led the poor girl on to this madness?” Leo snarled at his father in response.

“I will not be mated to a pathetic nerd who can’t fight.” He growled. Alpha Isaac snarled and shot out of the room, one of the warriors trailing him. It was barely minutes later that he pulled in the sobbing girl who was shaking, her neck red raw.

“I didn’t do anything, Alpha please don’t hurt me.” She cried out. Cassidy stepped from behind the warrior, pulling the terrified girl into her arms, undiluted anger flooding her veins. Hope Granger was the child she cared for when her parents and brother died in a pack fire. Rage filled every bone in her body towards Leo Lockard.

“Calm down. Alpha Isaac was upset because Leo lied. He lied knowing you’d be hurt.” She whispered softly. Hope’s cries turned into whimpers as she clutched at Cassidy’s shirt.

“Alpha.” Her word was soft and he sighed, his eyes watering.

“You hurt the future Luna. You hurt your mate.” Cassidy could see how tired her Alpha looked and felt pity for the man who treated her like his own flesh and blood.

“She’ll never be Luna now.” Leo snarled in response. No one saw Alpha Isaac’s clenched fist hit his son. But his head snapped back and the distinctive crack echoed through the room.

“Elder Orion. This never happens, but I can’t. She’s innocent.” The plea was clear and Elder Orion paused before nodding.

“Let me. Cassidy, I need you to step away.” She went to move and suddenly Hope was crying again. Cassidy realised that Hope Granger was too young to deal with all of this. She was terrified.

“Hope, please. We won’t hurt you.” Alpha Isaac’s pleas were met with terrified cries.

“See, she’s unfit to be Luna.” Leo spoke up, his face twisted into an ugly sneer.

“She’s a scared fourteen-year-old who has just felt her mate bond snap from her body and now she’s being dragged to the Alpha’s office. She has every right to be like this.” Cassidy snapped at Leo. He fell silent.

“Cass, please don’t let them hurt me.” She whimpered. Cassidy placed a kiss to the top of her head.

“You were classed as mine from the day that I saved your life. They wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Cassidy is right. I promise you little one, that we will not harm you. The law is clear on Cassidy’s actions and in saving you created a bond which even the law cannot interfere.” Elder Orion spoke up. Leo growled and she cowered away from the sound, her wide eyes meeting the Elder’s.

“What do you want to do?” Her entire body was shaking. Cassidy tried to control her rage towards the younger Lockard and it was only her sisters arms that kept her grounded from snapping.

“We want to give you your rightful title. You will be Luna of this pack. Your second mate will be your mate but will not take over as Alpha. This is yours to take if you so wish.”

“No!” The roar ripped from Leo as he was held back by the warriors. Hope clinched against her sister and Cassidy placed herself between her sister and Leo, a fierce scowl upon her face.

“What do I have to do?” Her voice was shaking. She gripped Cassidy’s hand tighter.

“We need to transfer the power to you. Leo will have no hold over you. Your soul with knit itself and find refuge in a second chance mate. You will not be alone, we promise you. Alpha Lockard will teach and train you how to be a Luna over the years until he is ready to retire.”

“I’ll do it.” The words were soft, but Cassidy kissed the top of her head before stepping away.

The Elders closed ranks around her and it took several minutes before they moved again. Hope stumbled to Cassidy and she could already see the differences.

“It’ll be okay sweet girl.”

“Will you stay with me?” Cassidy hesitated. She knew she’d break that promise.

“I’ll stay when I can. But I must travel. My mate isn’t in this pack.” The look on Hope’s face broke her heart.

“Will you stay in touch?”

“Now that I can promise.” She grinned, placing a kiss to Hope’s forehead once more.

“She can’t be Luna! She doesn’t deserve the title!” Leo snarled. Kallie whimpered before looking to her Alpha.

“You can leave. I advise you to get someone to take you home. I’ll be around in a few days.” Kallie nodded her head and paused as she passed Hope and Cassidy.

“I never knew. He said it was me and I believed him. I’m so sorry.” She whispered before half running from the room.

“Why on earth did I pick that sack of shit? Why did fate give me that freak?” Cassidy’s temper finally snapped and she launched at Leo, her fists hitting every piece of skin available.

The move shocked the Alpha and Elders for moments before they realised what was going on. It took them another moment to pry her off him.

“You killed a pack member who was like a brother to me. You endangered a four-year-old girl who was stolen from her family! You didn’t deserve that beautiful girl as your mate and she sure as hell didn’t need you in her life. How dare you say she’s not worthy because she will be better than you. She will succeed where you failed and protect her pack. You useless human!” She shrieked at him.

“I’m not a human freak.” He snarled back and Cassidy laughed despite the pain, she laughed even though tears flooded her face.

“You can never shift again. You’re as human as they get.” Her laughter was slowly becoming manic, even though there was no humour. “Karma is a sweet, sweet bitch. I hope that those humans you hate so much turn on you and make you suffer.” She snarled before going back to Hope, pulling the girl close.

“Cass, can we go? I don’t want him around me.” Hope’s words coaxed her to finally look away and walk out of the office without another word.

Her entire body was trembling with rage as they walked through the pack house. Word swept through and people bowed respectfully to Hope as the two of them passed by.

“Why are they doing that?” She whispered to Cassidy, who, despite the rage that was coursing through her, was smirking like the cat who got the cream.

“Their wolves recognise you as their next Luna. They’re showing you the respect you deserved from day one.”

“What will happen to… him?” As they left the building, she let loose such a sound that even Hope jumped.

“He will live his life as a human. He cannot enter any packs, he cannot cross borders. Alpha Isaac will kill him.” Hope was quiet as they got into Cassidy’s car before she spoke again.

“Alpha Isaac would kill his own son?” The words were barely heard by the human and recognition flared in Cassidy at Hope’s words. If this was happening to Leo, would it happen to her?

“Leo Lockard committed treason. He endangered a pack member and murdered one.” A grimace crossed Cassidy’s face. Hope’s remained stunned.

“But, Talon died from the rouges, didn’t he?”

“Leo made sure that Talon would be killed. He tried to make it look as if I’d failed but too many people saw Leo take the rescuers down a different route to the one they’d been shown. No one questioned him because he was the Alpha’s son.” By the time they’d pulled up to their home, Hope’s face had gone from stunned, to angry, to heartbroken.

Once they were inside, she broke.

“He murdered Talon.” Her voice broke and tears were flooding.

Beta Matthew came home to find his two girls on the sofa. Cassidy had her arms around Hope who had cried herself to exhaustion.

He glanced up to his son, Jamie, who had been sat on the stairs. His eyes were wide before he registered his father was stood there.

“Is it true?” Matthew flinched. “Dad, is it true?”

“Leo Lockard killed Talon. He knowingly led the group away from their rescue point, trying to sabotage your sisters plan.”

“He tried, again?” Jamie’s eyes flashed in anger. Matthew sighed wearily.

“He was all for blaming her when they bought back Talon’s body and little Emilia who was barely alive. He didn’t realise that everyone in the rescue squad had served under Cass’s commands before and knew something was wrong.”

“All hell broke loose.” Jamie muttered.

When Jamie had gone to greet the rescue team, he found himself in shock at the arguments that were breaking out amongst the group, the anger and hatred. It was all directed at Leo Lockard who had used his superior position to shut them up.

Jamie’s eyes studied his father’s face and realised something else happened.

“What was it?”

Matthew’s eyes moved to the sleeping forms of his daughters and Jamie stiffened.

“Hope was his mate. He’d marked her so she’d never find someone. Made her feel everything. He wanted her to suffer.” It hurt Matthew to admit those words, but it had happened. And his heart broke for both of his girls.

Jamie felt his wolf surge in pure fury.

Most wolves ignored humans. When one was born into a pack, they looked after the human. Some would pick on the outsider but most made friends with the human.

Cassidy had both sides of it growing up.

When Jamie had been born only a year later, his wolf burst forward at the age of ten, shocking his father and Alpha. Even the Alpha’s son hadn’t shifted yet.

But his wolf was protective. Especially over Cassidy. When Hope came into their lives six years later at the age of eight, his wolf accepted her with ease.

His sisters were his to protect.

But hearing and knowing this great injustice done to both of his sisters, his rage peaked and Matthew barely had time to shove him from the house before he shifted and a baleful howl filled the air.

It was the howl that woke the girls up and Matthew greeted his very exhausted daughters.

“Jamie just heard the news then?” Cassidy commented dryly.

Matthew snorted.

“I barely had enough time to shove him out of the house before he shifted. He’s angry and upset for you both.”

Hope blushed. Despite being with them for six years, she still couldn’t understand the protectiveness from her older brother.

Cassidy snorted.

“Hope, you know as well as I do, he’s going to break Leo’s face. Personally I hope Alpha Isaac lets Jamie go into the pit with him.”

“Speaking of which.” Matthew stepped forward, kneeling in front of Cassidy and tenderly taking her hand in his. “You need to see the pack doctor.”

“No.”

Hope scowled at her sister.

“You broke your hand by the looks of it. Please?” Cassidy turned her attention from her father to her sister. Her sister pulled the sweet puppy eyes that crumbled her resistance with ease.

“Fine.”

It took an hour for the trio to get to the pack doctor. He looked stunned at the state of Cassidy’s arm.

“This should be a clean break.” Cassidy shot a look to her father, who shrugged in return. “I’ll put one of the smaller braces. Keep this on for a week. I’ll check on it then and we’ll go from there, okay?”

Despite Cassidy’s scowl, Matthew nodded. Hope giggled.

“Well, I’m still driving to the other packs. This has been planned for months.”

“No, you’re not. I’m driving you.” Jamie strolled into the holding area where they were waiting to have the brace put on. Cassidy shot a dark look at her brother.

“Don’t you dare. You need to train with Hope.”

“Cass!” Hope’s indignant shout echoed.

“What? He was going to find out from dad anyway.”

“Doesn’t mean you drop that on him after hearing what he did to us.” Hope snapped back and Cassidy grinned.

“Both of you shut up. Cass, what are you talking about?” Jamie looked between the two girls. Matthew sat back with a smirk on his lips.

“Introducing your future Luna.” She nodded to Hope, whose cheeks flooded with a violent red colour. Jamie took a minute to recover.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Nope.” Cassidy grinned, taking a small pleasure from the chagrined look on her baby sisters face. “She was Leo’s mate. He fucked up and lost his title but Alpha knew that it was her destiny. So, they performed some sort of ritual and she’s officially the next Luna when Alpha steps down. Her next mate won’t be able to take the title. It’s all on her.”

Matthew’s smirk turned into a full-blown grin during the explanation. Jamie’s jaw dropped.

“My baby sister is going to be my Alpha?” Jamie’s question told the three he was processing it before the biggest grin stretched across his face.

Hope shot a glare towards Cassidy.

“Wait, so does this mean I’ve got to do my training with Hope?”

“I’ve spoken to Isaac,” Matthew cut in before Cassidy could tease her sister anymore. She pouted at him. “You’ll have a bit of time off so that Hope can do some catch up training to a standard that can keep up with you. I don’t want either of you going, however I know that Talon was meant to take you.”

At his words, Cass lost the wind in her sails as her shoulders slumped.

“I want Jamie to take you,” Hope spoke up, her eyes on Cassidy. “he knows how to respect Alpha’s and I’ll be too busy to miss you. Not to mention I’ve got dad. Please Cass, don’t hold back on my account. You deserve to be just as happy.”

“You should have had that happiness.” Cassidy whispered.

Hope shrugged.

“I’ll get my chance. I’m fourteen, I’ve got my time yet. Cass, you’re twenty-two and not left the pack because you felt duty bound, but also sure that you didn’t have a soulmate because you’re human. Even Jamie found his. Please, for me?”

Like every other time, Cassidy knew she couldn’t deny her sisters pleas.

“I’ll go. But you need to look after dad. Who knows how many pizzas he’ll order?” Cassidy teased, Matthew shooting a mock look of hurt at his eldest.

Hope grinned.

“He’ll order as many as I ask him to.”

The four descended into laughter as the doctor returned and fitted Cassidy’s brace.

“That’s staying on for a month instead of a week. If you’re travelling, it stays on longer. Don’t argue with me on this one Cassidy.” The sharp look from the pack doctor stopped the protest that was forming on her lips and a grumbled acceptance was offered instead.

==

Jamie was sat in the beaten-up Jeep that was going to serve as their transport. Although having more than enough money to live off comfortably, Matthew taught them to be humble, like their mother had been.

Cassidy had always supported this and worked hard for her keep. But even for this one, Matthew made sure she had enough money for fuel and possible hotels.

Once the last bag was in the trunk of the Jeep, Alpha Isaac stepped forward and Cassidy formally bowed to her Alpha.

“Your home is always with us Cassidy. I promise that justice will be served by the pack before his public exile.” She nodded her head at him and he opened his arms out to her.

She flung herself at Isaac and clung onto him tightly.

Growing up as a human, she learned from the best. Alpha Lockard had been her mentor and Uncle growing up. He was family and she was going to miss him.

“Please stay safe little lion, or I’m sending an entire squad after you.” He joked and she laughed as she pulled away.

“I’m pretty sure that they’d be more than willing to go on a mission to drag me back here.”

Matthew laughed.

“I can list the squad that’d be formed myself.” He grinned and Cassidy stuck out her tongue before turning back to her Alpha.

“Please look after her. She’s my world.” Isaac nodded his head, pulling Cassidy in for another hug.

“You have my word. She’ll be unrecognisable when you come back to show off your mate.” He teased and she laughed once more before turning to her dad, who swept her up into his arms instantly.

“My baby girl is growing up.” He teased and she laughed.

“It’s a good job Jamie does handshakes then he’s ready to go.” Cassidy grinned at Matthew who laughed.

“You’re my eldest. My little girl. I have the pack link to check up on your brother and sister. But not you. This is terrifying.” He admitted softly. Isaac skilfully pretended to not hear this conversation.

“Mum will watch over me.” Cassidy whispered in return and he smiled at his daughter, tears shining.

“I have no doubt about that.” She placed a kiss to his cheek before letting go and turning to her little sister who flung herself at Cassidy.

Cassidy didn’t even attempt to hide her tears now. She was leaving her baby sister behind. It felt like all kinds of wrong.

“I promise I’ll text when I can and bug Jamie to change into an overgrown dog so that he can relay any messages I have for you. You’re going to be an amazing Luna, I promise you.” Hope laughed through her tears and Cassidy kiss her forehead.

“I’ll be back before you know it, okay?” Hope nodded before stepping back and letting Cassidy clamber into the Jeep.

Once the house was out of sight, Cassidy leaned back as she felt Jamie take her hand.

“They’ll be fine. Now c’mon. We’ve got months ahead together.

==

She was on the verge of giving up.

After visiting twenty-five packs over the past year and not finding her mate, Cassidy had had enough.

The time away from her own pack took its toll. She spoke to Hope daily and her father, but she missed them all.

Jamie was having the time of his life. He was lucky that his mate was still seventeen. They’d agreed to wait till she was eighteen to pursue anything, but they had marked each other rightfully. Even though he missed his mate, he enjoyed meeting the new packs.

Some were kind and accepting of the human and the wolf. Others scoffed at her until Jamie stepped up and they respected the requests, only because they knew that repercussions would hit them hard if they denied the daughter of the Beta.

As they reached pack number twenty-six, Cassidy was impressed that they were met with a line of wolves on the territory border for Vinewood Pack. The leader of that pack stood with his back straight, tattoos displayed and his eyes trained on their vehicle.

They stopped the Jeep away from the treaty line and walked the rest of the way. Cassidy had her eyes on the wolves to see their reactions to a human.

Two looked wide-eyed but the rest held stoic faces. She was mildly impressed.

“Good training for your newer wolves to learn how to react when facing with a human who was born into a pack.” Cassidy’s words held the tone of conversation, almost as if she were speaking about the weather.

It took thirty seconds before smiles cracked across the group and the one she dubbed as the leader, stepped forward to greet them.

“Looks like we have a feisty human,” He teased before holding out his hand. “Calum Hood, head Warrior.”

Jamie took his hand first.

“Jamie Hayden; son of Beta Hayden in Rosewood pack.” Calum nodded his head impressively before turning to Cassidy.

“Cassidy Hayden. Strategist for Rosewood pack and firstborn daughter to Beta Hayden.” At this, Calum’s eyes widened before letting out a low whistle.

“Word spread around that you’d climbed the ranks, but no one said how far you’d gone. Nice to meet you both. Alpha Irwin is currently in a meeting with another Alpha from a local pack, concerning a wolf turned human who seems to be attacking their pack. He’ll meet with you after, but for now I’m instructed to introduce you the rest of the pack.”

They both nodded and retreated to their Jeep. They followed the wolves and both shared a concerned look.

“Could it be him?”

“How many wolves have been turned human in the last twenty years Cass?”

She shuddered and sighed.

“Let’s get through this, if we’re unsuccessful, I want to go home.”

“Are you sure?” Jamie’s eyes moved from the wolves to his sister who was wearing such a forlorn look, he nearly stopped the car.

“You’ve got training. I can work on the rest of the packs with dad when he travels with Alpha Isaac. I miss them.”

“I know you do. Hope’s going to be dead excited to know you’re going back home.”

Cassidy grinned.

“I know.”

As they drove through the pack, Cassidy was impressed. They’d created a beautiful little community and once they reached the pack house, they realised that the Alpha must have been very much like their father.

What Cassidy knew about Alpha Irwin was that he was one of the youngest Alpha’s to have taken over a pack. At eighteen he was named Alpha when his father passed unexpectedly. The pack had only risen from that point.

Not only was he the youngest, but next to Alpha Isaac, he was the most respected.

Once they were out of the Jeep and had their things settled into separate rooms, Cassidy found a younger warrior wolf waiting for her outside of her door.

“Warrior Calum asked me to escort you to the meeting room where you will meet the Beta and Strategist. Alpha Irwin will be along as soon as possible.”

“Will you convey an apology to Warrior Calum and let him know I’ll be another ten minutes. I need to shower, it’s been a long journey.” There was a brief pause before the young warrior nodded his head and moved away from her door.

Cassidy made sure that she was ready within the ten minutes. Her shower had been brief, but it felt nice to have the journey washed from her body and hair.

Tying the wet hair into a ponytail, Cassidy made sure that she was dressed respectably before there was another knock at the door. The young warrior was back and this time she followed him quietly.

“As always, fashionably late.” Jamie teased her once she’d thanked the young warrior and entered the meeting room.

“Unlike you boys, I like to clean myself after a long journey.” She retorted childishly. Jamie rolled his eyes and Calum laughed.

“May I introduce to you, Beta Luke Hemmings.” Beta Hemmings held out his hand which Cassidy shook, a smile on her lips.

“And, this is Strategist Michael Clifford.” Again, Michael held out his hand to her which she took.

“Luke, Michael, this is Cassidy Hayden, Strategist for Rosewood pack and firstborn human daughter to Beta Hayden.”

Michael let out a whistle at this and Luke nodded.

“Feel free to call me Cassidy. I’m assuming you’ve met my brother, Jamie?” They nodded and Jamie rolled his eyes. “Don’t tempt me little brother. I’m being polite.” She shot at him and he smirked.

“So, Cassidy,” Michael stated “A human and strategist? That’s an impressive feat.

“When you work for something you want, anything is possible.” She shot back coldly. He raised his hands in defence.

“I have nothing against humans. It’s just an incredible sight.”

“Cass, he means no harm. They have two other humans born into their pack as well.”

Cassidy softened up considerably after that.

Between the five of them, they covered many topics before the door opened and Alpha Irwin finally walked in. They were discussing the possibilities of Cassidy doing a walk around town with a few of them to see if she could sense her mate.

“Alpha Irwin, pleasure to meet you.” Jamie started off.

“Pleasure’s mine. Jamie Hayden, right? Son of Beta Hayden and next in line for the title?” Jamie nodded, shocked that the Alpha knew his name and title. Shaking his hand, Alpha Irwin turned to Cassidy who smiled at him.

And it hit her like a ton of bricks.

She could feel the bonds connecting her to him. She could feel her body surging to close the distance between them both.

Alpha Irwin took her hand and shook it.

The sparks exploded instantly, taking her breath away.

“Cassidy Hayden. I’ve waited a long time to meet you.” His fingers hadn’t let go of her hand and Jamie finally laughed, breaking the two from the small world that had built around them in those few crucial seconds.

“Alpha Irwin, I’m going to ask permission for Beta Hemmings and Warrior Hood to show me the perimeters. I’ll also need to consult with Michael as well.” Jamie spoke up, a smirk on his lips.

“Sure, that’s fine.”

“Look after my sister please.” Was all he left with, the other three following curiously.

Cassidy didn’t hesitate to follow Alpha Irwin through the pack house, entering a beautifully done room.

“Please tell me that you’re not a human who is going to make me wait.” He whispered as he pressed her against the door.

Even if she had been one of those humans, feeling him against her would’ve changed her mind instantly.

“Do it. As long as you promise to treat me as your equal, nothing less.”

“You have my word Cassidy Hayden. You are my equal and nothing less. Will you let me complete the mating today?”

“Yes.” The whispered word was all he needed before his hands tore the clothes from their bodies. He carried her to the bed as he kissed her, his lips covering every inch of skin.

And despite the hasty start, he explored her body. Brought her to orgasm a handful of time as he found what she liked and what made her body shake from intensity.

“Mark me.”

Ashton Irwin didn’t need to be told twice. He built her up again, before sliding himself into her. He was patient as she readjusted and then suddenly he was moving again and every thrust seemed to fill her body with this need, even as she built up to another orgasm, his lips almost worshipping her body.

But as they both orgasmed, his canines found the sweet flesh that made her body tingle and he sunk them into the skin.

It was enough to drive Cassidy over the edge, stars blinding her vision as she cried out his name like a prayer on her lips. His own chanting her name like she was a goddess.

It took them awhile to recover, and she was unwilling to move. He was unwilling to relinquish his grasp on her.

“Tell me about yourself, Cass.” Even her nickname sounded like heaving coming from his lips.

As she began to tell him about her life, his lips worked down her body. They worked her breasts, body before finally reaching her clit.

She continued telling him, realising that if she stopped, he stopped. He pushed her over the brink again and again.

It was only when she was left pleading him to stop, to do something about her heat.

Round two was much longer than round one, and they’d both learned about each other quicker than anything.

He was everything she wanted and more.

And he was hers.

==

Dinner was ignored in favour of spending time with each other, and Cassidy could have cared less.

“So, my sweet human,” Ashton teased, his lips brushing against her forehead and she grinned, “How did it come to you travelling?”

The two were lay together in his bed, her leg over his and her body pressed against his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

“I stopped myself from finding my mate by being home-schooled. Kids were cruel at first, but I could deal with that. But when the Alpha’s son came to school, I couldn’t cope.” Cassidy admitted quietly. Ashton tensed up briefly, but her hand tracing delicate lines against his chest reminded him that she was here with him.

“What happened?” He asked softly.

“He used to attack me. State my human freakishness shouldn’t be inflicted upon other wolves. I was the freak of nature and needed to be exterminated.”

Ashton growled which made Cassidy jump. She didn’t protest when she was pulled tighter against him.

“Most kids didn’t argue with him because he was the Alpha’s son. They didn’t want to anger their Alpha and future Alpha. So, they let it happen. It was when he threatened to kill me when school finished, I ran home. He said he’d make it a hunt so I ran home and hid. My dad came home and heard my terrified cries. I never told him, but he guessed.”

“He pulled you from school, then?”

“He spoke to Alpha Isaac who agreed it would be safer. I received private tutoring from my Alpha and dad. It kept me safe.”

“How did you come to be the Strategist? It took Michael three years to get that spot and even now he’s still learning.” Cassidy looked thoughtful as she let her lips press against his chest.

The tingles appeared and she felt her body relax further. She knew that down the road, she would never tire of that feeling.

“At first, I thought it was my Alpha taking pity on me. Many others did as well, so he laid out one of his previous battle plans that had failed and asked me what should have been done differently. I proved everyone, including myself, wrong that day. The next day Alpha inducted me into his close circle and told me of the future-plans and raids into the rogue territory.” Cassidy caught herself and blushed. Ashton laughed.

“Your secrets are safe with me, love.” He whispered, placing a delicate kiss below her ear.

“Thank you.” The words were a whisper but he appreciated it all the same.

Using his position, Ashton rolled over, pinning his mate beneath him and looked at her with such a look of awe and pride, Cassidy blushed.

“My mate is utterly incredible. You’ll make a wonderful Luna. I’ll travel back to your pack to meet your Alpha and father and we’ll come up with a peace treaty. I’ve never had a problem with Rosewood pack, and now I don’t need to have any problems.”

“They’d like that. Jamie misses home, I just miss my sister.” She whispered and Ashton placed his own strategic kisses and her trail of thought was rapidly disappearing.

“Let me show my mate how proud I am, we’ll deal with everything else tomorrow.”

Cassidy couldn’t argue.

==

When the two emerged from his room the next morning, the four boys were positively smug. Jamie looked a bit apprehensive. But when Ashton placed a kiss to Cassidy’s temple, he relaxed significantly.

“We managed to get some discussion done, and we’re going to head over to Rosewood to outline a treaty and alliance.” Ashton had carried his sentence on, ignoring the smirks and snickers from his pack mates.

Jamie managed to restrain his amusement to a smirk.

“Would you like me to make Alpha Lockard aware?” Ashton nodded in appreciation at Jamie’s offer.

“That would be much appreciated. I need to organise my own pack meeting, so that everyone can meet their new Luna.” Cassidy flushed at his words and felt her nerves skyrocketing.

“Will they like me?” Ashton stared at her in shock at the words and Jamie’s look of understanding made him frown.

“But, why wouldn’t they?” Michael piped up, staring at her in total confusion. Luke and Calum wore similar looks to their Alpha and Cassidy found herself feeling unsure.

Jamie saved her from answering.

“She’s scared. Cassidy is a human in a world of wolves and supernatural beings. A lot of our pack shunned her because she would never be like them. How would your pack react to a human Luna?” He paused as he let the information sink in, turning his attention to Ashton. “Everyone who has grown up in the supernatural world knows, that a wolf's only weakness is their mate. Cassidy is a human mate. She knows the dangers of being a human and she’s seen the aftereffects of losing a mate.”

Cassidy shuddered. Ashton shifted his attention to his mate, placing a hand over hers. She gave him a weak smile.

“I’m scared of how they’ll react to a human Luna. A Luna who is a weak spot for their Alpha and the weakest link in the pack.”

The siblings’ words sunk in and Ashton found himself in a position he never thought he’d be in. His heart was overcome with fear for his mate, his mind going over every possible packmate, singling out those who had attack the two humans in their pack.

Luke, Michael and Calum were thinking along the same lines and suddenly the entire thing had become real.

“The warriors know better than to harm a human of the pack, let alone their Luna. They’ve been trained to protect and defend.” Calum broke the silence first.

“They’ll need to understand that even though I’m human, I can run with the wolves.” Cassidy put in and Ashton snorted in amusement. Jamie grinned.

“The warriors we can work a rotation out maybe?” Ashton glanced to his mate who nodded in approval.

“My safety comes first, I get that. But don’t lock me away. I need to be a Luna as well.” She gave Ashton a pointed look who nodded and Luke’s face broke out into a genuine grin.

“It would teach the pack children how to act towards their human packmates.” Michael pointed out and Cassidy smiled.

“I can also spend time with the human packmates because I understand more than anyone how they might feel.” She broke in and Ashton’s heart swelled.

He knew that the human packmates were barely teens and children truly were cruel. Not to mention those that find their mates within the pack ranks find them around the ages of adolescents.

They continued to work out ideas and possibilities.

Jamie contacted his Alpha and they were set to travel home the next day.

Ashton had kissed his mate goodbye and dragged Luke and Calum with him to meet with the Gamma and their own Elders to work out the pack things that needed to be run in his absence.

“How about we go and visit the human pack members? They might be able to believe in themselves if they can see their Luna is a human who is also a strategist.”

Cassidy shot Michael a smug grin at his words. He just grumbled before grinning at her. She knew he was teasing.

==

Michael attended to visit along with three warriors. Jamie admitted to staying behind because he needed to call their dad. Cassidy accepted that as they left and the five of them headed out into the pack town in the black jeep.

“You guys use jeeps instead of SUV’s?” Cassidy was situated in between two warriors, Josh and Jacob. They were twins who had just passed their final exams with the warriors and were fully fledged. Both had been impressed to learn their first assignment was to watch over their new Luna.

Michael was driving and next to him sat the youngest of the three warriors, Abel.

Abel answered readily, having been prepared. He was just shy of his eighteenth birthday and still had eight months of training before his final exam. This was a trial to see how he would handle grouped situations.

“SUVs attract attention and scream out importance. Jeeps like this, highlight travelling and safety.” He indicated to the reinforced metal bars on the roof and inside of the car.

Cassidy nodded in appreciation.

“Any of you found your mates yet?” The question was curious enough and she was pleased by the smiles on each of them.

Then it hit her why they’d been picked. They knew what a mate meant. They understood the emotions and therefore knew how to protect their Alpha’s mate.

Jacob went first.

“I met mine when I was fourteen. Been together for six years.”

“What’s her name?”

“Sadie. Pretty blonde who loves watching TV shows and horror films…” He trailed off with a sheepish grin. Cassidy grinned.

“What about you, Josh?” He shot her a very shy glance and mumbled under his breath. Michael snorted.

“The human can’t hear you when you mumble.” She teased playfully. Josh’s cheeks flushed as the other three laughed.

“I met my mate two years-ago. His name is Caleb.” Was the quiet whisper. Cassidy didn’t even pause as her smile grew.

“What does he do?” Her enthusiasm didn’t go unnoticed. Michael smiled as they drove onto the street where one of the humans lived with her family.

“He, uh teaches the younger pups. He’s an assistant.”

“Do you think I could meet him? I had been planning to work in one of the schools alongside my strategist job and maybe introducing newer things into curriculum. Mainly things that even humans could do so that the pups don’t push them away if there were any future humans born to a pack of wolves.” She spoke with ease and Josh’s entire body relaxed at her statement.

It wasn’t common for same sex mates, but they still happened. And there was always those that held firm beliefs of the wrongness of it.

Cassidy had never even considered those beliefs and embraced the same sex mates fully.

“I haven’t actually met my mate yet, Luna. But my little sister met hers. She turns sixteen and she’s been talking to our parents about loosening some restrictions.” Abel admitted and she giggled.

“This is our first stop. Luna, please wait a moment so the warriors can scout.” She nodded her head and sat back as the three warrior wolves left the car and scouted for a few moments.

“Josh was very nervous to admit to his mate. Does he get ridiculed by others?” The question was curiosity mixed with sadness. Michael sighed.

He heard Josh through the pack link, telling Michael that he was okay with his story being explained by another.

“Growing up, Josh realised that he liked boys long before he met his mate. He knew instantly that he would be disgraced and so he tried to ignore the fact that if he met his female mate, he’d have to break her heart, or beg her to understand.”

“He still had to beg, but to his family?” Michael nodded.

“She did something that any wolf will cringe at. She took a scalding hot poker made of silver and branded him. Scarred his body and left him dying in the street.”

Cassidy remembered his words that he’d met his mate two years ago, and she felt nauseous.

“All clear Michael.” Came through Abel’s voice. Cassidy left the jeep silently and she worked through the different emotions she could feel, so she could greet the human child.

Michael knocked on the door as Cassidy turned to Josh.

“Can we talk when we’ve done this?” He looked hesitant but nodded. She smiled at him in return before turning her attention to the door that was opening.

“Mr. Clifford, I wasn’t expecting any callers today.” The woman’s voice filtered through. Cassidy could see her eyeing the warrior wolves wearily.

“It’s okay Mrs. Teller. The new Luna wanted to meet young Trix.” Michael stepped aside to reveal Cassidy to Mrs. Teller who stiffened and eyed her new Luna cautiously.

“Luna.” She murmured, bowing politely.

“Nice to meet you Mrs. Teller. I felt that Trix was someone I wanted to talk to before the pack met their Luna.”

Mrs. Teller hesitated for a second, disarmed by the charming smile on Cassidy’s lips.

“Please, call me Rae.” The woman stepped aside. Josh and Abel went in first, Cassidy following with Michael and Jacob behind her.

Once they were in the living room, Rae offered for Cassidy and Michael to sit, knowing the warriors would want to stay on their feet. She wasn’t wrong as they changed themselves to different strategic positions in the room. Eyes always moving.

She shuddered.

“Trix, come down for Mama please, I have some people who I want you to meet.” The thud of feet along the hallway upstairs and then thundering down the stairs made Cassidy smile.

She watched as a young girl, no older than seven came barrelling into the room and aiming straight for her mother.

“Mama, I managed to make the car move! I had to tap the wires together and the car went super-fast!” She regaled breathlessly. Rae smiled before taking Trix’s hand.

“That’s lovely dear. I’d like you to meet our new Luna.” She nodded to Cassidy and suddenly the little girl became aware of the other people in the room. Her wide eyes took in the bulky masses of the warriors before turning to Michael and Cassidy, both watching Trix.

Instantly she blushed before nodding to the Luna.

“Why’d you want to meet me Mi-Luna?” Cassidy grinned and shifted her body in the direction of the child.

“Well, I heard from Alpha Irwin that you’re not like other wolves, you're human.” She started carefully. Instantly Trix looked crestfallen.

“Am I not allowed to play with the others anymore?”

“And why would you think that, little one?” Cassidy patted the spot between her and Michael. Trix had hesitated, but after glancing back to her mother who nodded, she sat in between them both and turned to look at Cassidy.

“The big ones always tell me that Luna won’t let a runt like me stay here. They-” Trix hesitated, shooting a terrified glance to her mother, “when they corner me, they laugh when I cry for mama and tell me that Luna will toss me out so I have to get used to fighting without Mama around.”

Three growls from the warriors made Trix shrink into Cassidy who instinctively wrapped an arm around the small girl’s shoulders. Rae stared at her daughter before hurrying into the kitchen. Cassidy didn’t need the super hearing to hear the poor woman burst into tears at her daughter’s admittance.

She shot a pointed look to Michael who nodded. The warriors closed in slightly. Trix trembled as they drew in closer.

“Abel, please sit down, you’re scaring her. Jacob, please get young Miss Teller a glass of water, or perhaps a cup of warm cocoa?” She glanced at the girl who stared at Cassidy in wonder before the small girl herself burst into tears.

All her mind could think of was ‘This wonderful lady cares’. Cassidy could feel her own tears as the warriors obeyed her without question.

Abel was sat across from her and his eyes were on the small girl shaking in his Luna’s arms.

His wolf was howling in such delight because his mate was the nine-year-old girl. Abel already knew that he’d wait for eternity for the girl.

Cassidy looked up to see Abel’s look of bewildered astonishment and she clicked what had happened. She smiled at him and nodded, a silent promise to calm his young mate down. He grinned in return, eyes returning to watching out of the windows, tracking movements and rustles.

“Trixie, can I call you Trixie?” Trix nodded to her Luna as Cassidy pulled her away, wiping the little girls tears from her cheek. “Do you want to know something amazing? And you can tell those big bullies about this, it’ll make them think twice about hurting you again.”

Her eyes caught movement and she saw Rae Teller re-enter the room with Michael, eyes rimmed red. She offered a weak smile and nod at her Luna.

Cassidy returned her attention to the small girl that was now staring at her curiously, tears still pouring from her eyes.

“I’m human too.” Her eyes went wide at the statement and Cassidy could see the amazement flicker through her face. “And you know what else?”

“What?” Trix whispered, but Cassidy knew every wolf in the room heard her.

“If those big bullies even try to come after you again, your Luna and her big bad warrior will come and protect you.” She nodded to Abel who returned his gaze now that Jacob was back in the room with a cup of hot cocoa. Trix took in Abel’s appearance and her eyes widened once more, looking back to Cassidy.

“Will he be there to help?” She asked quietly. Cassidy grinned and she was sure that Josh and Jacob would be laying into Abel the minute they left the home.

“I can do one better. He’s your warrior sweet one. He’ll protect you and make sure those big bullies stay away.” The little girl gasped in astonishment before looking at Abel again.

The grin on his lips told Cassidy everything.

“He’ll be my warrior?” Cassidy nodded. “What about the other two scary ones?” At this, Cassidy snorted.

“They’re big teddy bears.” She shot a glance to the twins who had goofy grins on already. Watching their Luna made their wolves within more determined to protect and please their Luna. “Because they’re big teddy bears it means that to you only, they’ll be your big brothers. They’ll help you when those bullies try anything.”

“Wow.” The amazed little girl whispered before giving a pleading look to her Luna. “Will you come with me when I have to go back next week. The others were told to bring in someone who helped them when they first transitioned.” She admitted quietly.

Cassidy had hated it when Jamie had come in barrelling home and proclaimed to their dad that he needed to go with him to school for the project.

She glanced to Michael. He nodded his head.

“Well, seeing as today is Monday, I have plenty of time. What day is it next week Trixie?” The little girl looked stunned that her Luna was considering this.

“It’s on Friday! Will you really come?”

“I’ll have to be away from town for a week from tomorrow, but I’ll certainly be there on Friday. Does that sound okay to you?”

Cassidy was rewarded with the tightest cuddle, making her giggle.

“I think that’s a yes, Luna.” Michael teased and Rae managed to laugh.

“I think so too. But whilst I’m gone, Abel, Josh and Jacob will help you. They’ll look after you. But why don’t you take up your hot cocoa, because I’m sure that the pack can do with more genius’ who are as bright as you are.” Trixie didn’t need to be told twice.

But before she picked up her drink, she hugged Abel, who was closest and waved to the twins, taking her cup and scampering up the stairs.

Rae Teller sat down opposite her Luna and promptly burst into tears once more.

“I’m so sorry that this is happening to your daughter. It shouldn’t happen.” Cassidy murmured.

“Is it true that you’re human?” At this, the three wolves guffawed.

Michael broke in.

“Any wolf wouldn’t dare call a warrior a teddy bear, Luna or not. As a human, she can get away with a lot.” Cassidy raised an eyebrow before grinning at Michael.

“You’ll learn more about me at the pack meeting. I wanted to get to know the two human children in this pack because I wanted them to know that they too can be great.”

“Thank you Luna, I’ve been so worried and when she came home with bruises, it’s scared me and I’m so sorry, but I’m so happy and-”

Cassidy cut the woman off by hugging her. She froze before relaxing into the hug.

“That little girl is so very special. Not just because she’s human, but her mate is someone who will protect her till his last breath.”

Rae pulled away then, her eyes wide. Cassidy glanced to Abel who nodded silently.

“How can you be so sure?” She asked so wearily. Cassidy smiled.

“Let me introduce you to your daughters mate, Abel.” She nodded at the warrior sat down and Mrs Teller felt every fear drain from her body.

“You’ll take care of my little girl?”

“Ma’am, I will protect her,” The twins’ laughter interrupted then, he scowled at both, “no matter what. Luna was right, she’s special. And probably will turn out to be a genius. She’ll be bossing us warriors around before long.” That shut the twins up.

Michael laughed.

“Oh my goddess, you are a gift from the moon goddess herself Luna. Thank you so much.” Rae Teller honestly thought her heart was going to burst from excitement. Her little girl was safe.

“You have my word Mrs Teller, she’ll be the most protected child. And anyway, when she’s due to go into high school, I’ll talk to the Alpha about tutoring her. It worked for me. It’ll surely work for your daughter and the other child.”

This time Mrs Teller initiated the hug that Cassidy returned.

When they finally left the home, Trix returning downstairs to give each of them hugs, saving the last two for Abel and Cassidy.

Once the door was shut and they were in the jeep, Josh and Jacob reached forward to punch their comrade in the shoulder.

“Congrats brother!” Jacob crowed and Michael laughed.

“Man my wolf is at peace. Thanks Luna.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“On the contrary! You helped set up a schedule so that Abel will be within proximity to his made to keep his wolf satisfied. You’ve helped a lot.” Michael explained and Cassidy flushed.

==

The other human was on the other side of the town. They pulled up and witnessed a small child being attacked by kids that were clearly bigger than them.

“Abel, Jacob go.” Cassidy ordered. The two needed no further instruction as they launched from the car, their warning growls causing the attackers to freeze before running. Jacob shifted and went after them.

“Michael?”

"Got it." He was out of the car fast and Abel took off after Jacob, heads peeking out from doors as the growls reverberated around the street.

Cassidy and Josh finally got out and went over to Michael.

“Of course you all take note when there is a growl, but a crying child falls on deaf ears that are sensitive to noise.” She snapped at those that were peering to take a closer look.

“You don’t boss us around lady!” Another snapped back and Michael held Cassidy back from ripping into him.

Doors slammed and she turned her attention to the child.

“What’s your name sweet thing?”

The child finally uncovered their face once they realised that they were safe. Cassidy wished she could snarl. Another girl, a little older than Trix by the looks of it.

“Don’t know my name.” She muttered. Dirt and grime covered the girl from head to toe. Cassidy shot a panicked look to Michael whose hands were shaking.

“Where do you live little one?” The girl shrugged again and pointed to the house they were stood in front of.

“They never let me in. Sleep outside like the runt I am. Got a house round back.” At her words, Josh slipped into the back garden. He returned with a look of disgust mixed with shock and pity.

Cassidy could feel her temper rising.

“It’s a dog kennel, Luna. They feed her scraps.” He whispered and she felt her anger double.

“We’re taking you to the doctor. No arguments little one.” She whispered. “Tell Jacob and Abel to bring the children they round up to the pack house. Michael, direct link with Ashton, he’ll pay attention to you. Tell him to organise the pack meeting tonight. Josh, call in a group to take these wolves into some sort of custody. Michael, alert the pack house that there will be an extra guest. Contact Mrs. Teller, let her know to bring Trixie with her to the pack house.”

Josh carried the small girl to the car as both he and Michael linked to the people they needed.

He lay the girl on the backseat with Cassidy who had her head lay in her lap, stroking the girls matted hair.

How dare they do this to a defenceless child.

“Alpha is setting up for the emergency pack meeting. The response unit are picking up the wolves before Alpha sends out the call for a pack meeting. He wants to talk to you when we get back.

“You tell him I’ll be sat with the little one as her acting guardian whilst the pack doctor looks over her and I’ll be with her until Mrs Teller and Trixie arrive.”

The rest of the journey was silent.

When they reached the main pack house that housed the Alpha, Cassidy noted the pack doctor outside, waiting. Josh picked up the small girl and followed the doctor who looked horror struck. Ashton watched, crestfallen.

Cassidy walked over to him, capturing his attention.

“I know we wanted to wait, but I refuse to stand by and let those abusers get away with this.” She practically snarled.

“Are you sure you’re not a wolf, love? You snarl like one.”

Jamie greeted the couple with a laugh.

“She learned from me when I first shifted. Dad always said that her bad habits are my fault.” This made Cassidy smile.

They trooped into the room where the pack doctor was. She could see the look of horror on the pack doctors face and she pulled her Alpha and Luna aside, casting a daring glance at Jamie.

“He’s my brother, he’ll protect her whilst we have privacy.” Cassidy assured her and that was all it took before the two were ushered into a separate room where the doctor exploded.

“They beat and raped a defenceless child.” She snarled. Tears were falling from her eyes as the couple stiffened in shock. Cassidy felt her insides churn and Ashton felt his anger burn up.

“How long?” Despite having spent little time with her mate, Cassidy sensed the danger in her mate’s voice. For a fleeting second, she felt proud. For an Alpha to show the danger within his tone was impressive.

She was brought back down to earth at the doctors whispered words.

“Years. This has been happening for years.” Cassidy gripped Ashton’s hand tightly, a silent reminder for him to not shift in this small office, but also to hold herself back from going after those pathetic wolves.

Bullying was one thing, but this was neglect and abuse.

“Please, tell me that never happened to you?” Cassidy sensed the danger of answering and so she stepped in front of him, allowing the doctor to leave the room for them.

His arms wound around her tightly as he pulled her closer, his nose trailing along her neck.

“I was bullied, kids hurt me and Leo, he tried to had Jamie not smelt my blood. Nothing what that girl has suffered ultimately. Dad would’ve died if he lost me and mum so close together.” She whispered and he let loose such a guttural snarl, Cassidy found herself shaking in her mate’s arms.

“If ever Leo Lockard tries to seek out refuge, he will be killed on the spot. I would go after the others in that pack but I do not want war.” He finally ground out, his eyes flashing amber.

Cassidy gave him a smug grin.

“They got their comeuppance. Trust me. But please, you’re going to be scaring that poor girl and I need her to trust us.” Ashton sighed, hiding his face against his mate’s neck, her hair and skin almost drowning his senses in her scent.

Finally, when he was calm, they left the office. The pack doctor looked fleetingly panicked, but Cassidy smiled at her, reassuring. She shared a knowing look with Jamie who felt his features morph into a look of wariness. He understood the look and what she’d just told her mate.

“We have a town auditorium. It can house the wolves easily. How do you want to go about this?” He asked her quietly as they sat by the girls bedside. She’d fallen asleep as the doctor was working. Because she was underage and had no reasonable guardian to look over her, Ashton remained as acting guardian, Cassidy by his side.

“I want you to introduce your new mate. I want those that sneered at me on the street to see their mistakes. I want them to know I may be human but I will not tolerate their sneers nor their snide remarks. I will not bow to the wolves that think they are better than me because they have the genetics and I don’t.”

It hit Ashton very fast as he stared at his mate in awe. The bond was usually there to help feelings develop over time, people were never sure of their other half. They both felt sure. Allowing him to mark her told Ashton that, and letting her do the same to him spoke volumes.

But the feeling of love, pride and adoration, it hit him all at once.

His mate was incredible. And he was the lucky bastard that got to keep her all to himself.

==

Cassidy greeted Mrs Teller and Trix in the open spaced lounge. Those that helped keep the pack house in top shape were preparing for the pack meeting over in the auditorium. Cassidy had requested that they make sure the guests in the holding cells were hydrated and alive.

“I didn’t expect to see you again so soon, Luna.” Mrs Teller stammered and Cassidy smiled at them gently, assurances in the smile as she opened her arms to Trix who hugged her tightly.

“I know, it’s a bit soon. My mate will be along in a moment, but I wish to ask about home life. I take it your husband works?” At this, her shoulders became a little more straighter.

“He trains the warriors. He’s classed as an elder due to a longstanding family genetic that means he can no longer help with the raids and protections, but he’s a hard worker and proud of his little girl.” She smiled at Trix who had not released her Luna yet.

She was still too excited that her Luna was a human and very smart.

“I see my Luna has been taken hostage, I must admit defeat to the scary human holding her.” Ashton’s voice reached them. Trix giggled as she hid herself against Cassidy and Rae Teller looked like she wanted to tell her daughter to let go.

“But Alpha, she’s a clever human, and says I’m one too. She told me that I’ve got my own warrior too. How cool is that Alpha?” Trix didn’t notice her mother’s distress and Ashton laughed at the enthusiastic girl. He got down to her level and held his own arms out.

“Well if your Luna gets cuddles, what ‘bout that old Alpha of yours, huh?” He teased playfully, a smile on his lips. Rae Teller relaxed instantly.

Cassidy giggled with Trix.

“But Luna is my friend. She’s dead clever and told me I was clever just like her. If I hug you she might get sad that I ain’t hugging her no more.” Ashton pouted at the little girl who then hesitated, glancing up at Cassidy.

“You tell him he can’t be big bad Alpha to you or your Luna will beat him up.” She whispered conspiratorially to the little girl who looked positively gleeful.

“If I hug you, you can’t be big bad Alpha to me, cause my Luna will come beat you up and save me.” She nodded at him, unawares he’d heard perfectly clear what his mate had whispered.

“I think I can do that, I mean you’re a genius human and I always need to train genius humans, don’t I?” At this, her gleeful squeal hit them as she launched into her Alpha and he swept her up with a laugh.

“Are you sure, he’s the Alpha and I don’t want her-”

“Rae, it’s fine. He’ll act like this with her pretty much any time he sees her now. I’ll explain it all if you’ll allow and not mind that he’s going to steal her away to his office for twenty minutes to see how he can tutor her?” Rae nodded and Cassidy pulled the young woman towards the side of the house that housed the pack doctor and the small infirmary.

There were more surgeries scattered around the town, as Cassidy learnt, but the pack doctor at the house was the Alpha in respects of the doctors.

“We went to visit the second child today, situated on the other side of town. When we got there, a bunch of teenagers were attacking someone. Of course Abel and Jacob chased them down, they’re currently standing guard till the pack meeting, however we realise it was the other human girl. Her family tossed her outside to live in a kennel. She’s been beaten, and raped. She’s had the worst of the worst thrown at her.”

Rae Teller trembled as tears threatened her once more. The poor girl must have been terrified, and not to mention that it could have happened to her own little girl, aside from tossing her into a kennel. Rae Teller was not about to do that to her only daughter.

“Why are you telling me, Luna?”

“Because I’m asking for your permission, after the pack trial, I want you to take in this little girl and give Trixie a sister who is the same as her. I want you to love this little girl like you love your daughter.”

And then something triggered inside of Rae Teller. Her wolf sensed the child and she found herself scared for her little girl, glancing above them.

“Trixie is safe as sound with her Alpha. But this little girl has no one.” Cassidy whispered and when Rae Teller laid her eyes on the broken little girl, she wept like she had the day when her daughter was born.

“Oh my poor baby, of course I’ll take you in as mine.” She cried, the girl finally pulling her eyes wide enough to realise there was a weeping woman and her saviour.

“Hello little one, how do you feel?” Cassidy asked softly as Rae composed herself.

“Hurt, but that nice doctor did things and made the pain go away. She fixed the pain between my legs and put something on my cuts.” The girl muttered. Cassidy kept a gentle smile on her lips.

“Good. This lady here, her little girl is human like you, but her little girl is happy.”

“You don’t hurt her?” The girl asked sharply. Rae Teller shook her head and clasped her hands around one of the girls.

“Goddess no, I love my little girl so much. But I heard that the people that were meant to be your family hurt you. They shouldn’t have done that. I wanted to ask if you’d consent to stay with me, my husband and our little girl. And be her big sister?”

She hesitated.

“I promise that we won’t do to you what those monsters did. Not to mention, Alpha and his Beta will teach you as well. You’ll be a smart little girl who can protect someone else like her.” The idea was appealing, so Cassidy finally stepped in.

“I’ll be with both of you as well when I come back from my old pack. I’m not a wolf like them, I’m human too.” She whispered and suddenly the girl nodded, crying as she did.

“They never wanted me an’ I never want them, please don’t make me go back.” She sobbed into Rae who shifted herself and pulled the girl into a protective hold.

Ashton entered then, with Trixie sat on his shoulders.

“So this is the other human?” She asked quietly. Ashton nodded.

“And she’ll be your big sister if you ask her nicely.” Cassidy’s sly comment made Trixie gasp excitedly.

“Will you be my big sister? My warrior can protect us both and we’ll both have big brothers who are teddy bears!” She exclaimed from the top of Ashton’s shoulders, causing her crying to subside.

“I’ll be your big sister, but I don’t know my name.” She admitted quietly.

“What about Roxy? Cause I’m called Trix an’ Luna calls me Trixie.” The little girl pondered that, but hesitated.

“How about Roxanne?” Rae suggested softly and the girl nodded.

Cassidy explained to the family what was about to happen. Rae assured them that her husband would be there to witness the public pack trial and that he was more than happy to take in Roxanne.

Cassidy left the office with a smug air about her.

“How long till the pack trial?” She questioned silently as they headed back to his room.

“We still have hours yet, and by god I want to see that look on your face above me please.” He rasped as his lips latched onto hers once they were in the confines of his room.

She didn’t argue as she teased him and the smug feeling filled her just as he did, his teeth sinking into her mark just as she did to him when they climaxed.

It was certainly something else, but they held each other hostage for little over an hour before they finally made themselves look respectable. Cassidy had found one of her more promising outfits, a regal dress that Ashton commented made her look fierce and confident.

By the time of the pack meeting, the auditorium was filled. Ashton stepped out onto the stage, standing on the podium, Cassidy was just in the wings.

“Tonight, I greet you with some wonderful and tragic news. I will greet you with the wonderful news of my mate,” He paused as people cheered for their Alpha. “And I’d like to introduce her. Cassidy Hayden of the Rosewood pack.”

Cassidy took her cue and stepped out, smiling to the tentative cheers from the pack. She knew that their wolves were wondering why they couldn’t quite feel the bond of their Luna like they did their Alpha.

“As you may have possibly guessed, she is a human. Born to the Beta of the Rosewood, she rose the ranks and excelled most of the wolves from her generation. She was the strategist for them and now Luna for you. And she has some words she wanted to share.”

Instead of outright hostility, she noted the looks of fear from those who had dismissed her earlier in the day, but a few cheered. One of them she guessed was Mr. Teller.

“I know it’s a shock to you all, a human Luna. However, I am making a promise to you tonight to do my best to rule with my mate, and understand issues amongst pack life. I will bring up the tragic news that my mate wanted to tell you, because this currently ties in with a few things.” She paused, looking around.

“I will not, in any way tolerate anybody causing grief to a human member of the pack. I want you to support them like you support each wolf. I became a strategist of my previous pack. Just think how far and how high a human would reach with the right push? Which brings me to my next point and a rule that is being enforced as of today.” She glanced to Ashton who nodded his head, a smile on his lips.

“Abuse of a human within the pack will not be tolerated. Abuse of a wolf will not be tolerated, however with the pack so closely linked, an abused wolf is quickly found and cared for. A human is not. Today I went to greet the two human children that are pack members. One is a girl under the age of ten, who has been beaten up by bullies who think they are better than her. You will instil in your children that this will not be tolerated any longer. Today we caught six young wolves attacking the second child in the middle of the street, yet no one heard the cries for help.” Her gaze landed on a group clustered together, her eyes darkening into a scowl.

“Don’t you dare disrespect me like you did today. You didn't know I was Luna, granted but you shouldn’t disrespect anyone, let alone one who is travelling with three warriors and the Alpha’s right hand.” Growls erupted then.

“You disrespected the Luna?!”

“How stupid are you?”

“QUIET.” Ashton snarled, the crowd falling silent once more.

“The poor girl was kicked out into a kennel where she had been fed scraps of meat occasionally. She was filthy, but as well as the neglect and abuse, the poor child had been raped. She is less than fifteen years old. How can you stand by and let that happen without your sensitive ears not picking up her distress?” She ground out.

Growls were rolling in once more.

“The adults of the family are facing a pack trial. Tonight. The children will be judged by their Alpha at a later date.” She snapped, her temper breaking lose for a moment.

The pack went silent. They’d not had to do a pack trial in decades.

Things changed then, the warriors positioned them around the stage as they pulled the family members in front of the packs.

Two women, two men. Two were clearly elders and the other two were the parents.

They snarled about a runt of a human, they said humans had no place in the pack and Cassidy lost her temper. Ashton didn’t even attempt to stop her.

“As a human myself I’m living proof that we each have a place in this pack.” They froze at her words. “You attacked a child and abused her. You have no say on whether humans have a place or not because you certainly don’t.”

They tried to call her a liar and something snapped completely. She took the dagger from the closest warrior, one laced with silver and sliced her hand.

The wolves yelped but she didn’t flinch. She bled and bled. No super healing like the wolves had. Suddenly all protests fell silent.

Ashton had to stop himself from launching at his mate to prevent that, but he knew they needed to see the truth.

The pack judged. And instead of exile they called for execution.

Things calmed once the entire meeting had settled once the family was dragged off, their protests falling on deaf ears.

“Because my mate is from Rosewood pack, I’m planning to be away for a week. Look to the superiors for help and stay vigilant. Don’t let this tear us apart.”

With those words, he and Cassidy swept from the room. Each male knew that they would not be meeting their Luna properly until they returned.

Ashton didn’t disappoint. He swept Cassidy to his room and neither were seen till the early hours of the morning, marks fresh and a freshly bandaged hand.

Jamie snickered at the pair.

Cassidy sat in the front with her brother, Calum, Luke and Ashton situated in the backseat. Michael waved them off with Roxanne and Trixie. The Tellers were staying in the pack house whilst things were arranged for them to move closer to the pack house.

Two pack cars followed behind them, two warriors in one and three in another.

Most of the journey was slept away by the three wolves in the backseat. Cassidy and Jamie were wide awake as they inched closer to their home.

“How does it feel to be going home Jamie?” Glimpsing at his sister, Jamie shrugged.

“My wolf feels ready for his mate. It feels like home. What about you?”

“Scared, excited. I’ve missed them, but I already miss Ashton’s pack.” She admitted quietly.

“There’s nothing wrong with feeling like that. I know that Luna Lockard felt the same way when she first met Alpha. Do you remember the day that she came back after they’d gone to visit her parents?” She nodded her head. Leo hadn’t been born by then.

“She scooped us both up and cried because she felt guilty to her pack. I don’t think she knows we remember.” She admitted quietly.

“We were the only kids on close terms with our Luna and Alpha. So, she sought us out and Alpha advised dad to let her be. Do you remember the look of shock on mum’s face?” The siblings laughed quietly.

“I still miss her.” There was the opening Jamie was waiting for.

“She’s proud, you know that.” He murmured, reaching across to hold her hand.

“I still wonder if she would have cared that I wasn’t a wolf.” Jamie snorted.

“I’m almost certain mum knew. She was so overprotective of you that even dad clocked on. Why do you think Alpha and Luna had been introduced to us so fast?” They shared grins at that, taking note that they reached the border.

Reece and Evan were waiting along with Tanita. Once they saw who was inside the car, they motioned for them to pass through, returning to their patrols instantly.

There was a welcoming committee waiting for them at the pack house. When Cassidy stepped from the car, she reacted to the squeal from her little sister and met her in the middle, laughing loudly as Hope picked her up with ease and spun her around.

Jamie whined in protest.

“Am I chopped liver?”

“Yes.” Both sisters responded in synchronisation before Cassidy pried herself from Hope and watched in amusement as her baby sister tackled her brother.

Cassidy turned to her dad next, both wearing matching grins as he pulled her in for a hug, placing a kiss to the top of her forehead.

“Welcome home baby. I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too daddy.” She whispered, his arms getting a little bit tighter around her.

Once Jamie reacquainted with their dad, Cassidy moved back to Ashton, taking her hand in his as she guided him up.

She was yet to greet her Alpha because she knew that she needed to respect the Alpha code but also her mate.

“Dad, this is Alpha Irwin of Vinewood Pack.” The two shook hands and then Cassidy dropped the bombshell. “He’s also my mate.”

She noted that Alpha Isaac broke into a grin as her dad’s jaw clenched. His eyes zeroed on the mark before he shot a look to his daughter.

“Of course, you’d introduce me and let me be polite before dropping that bombshell on me.” She grinned at him as Jamie laughed.

“She is your daughter after all Matthew.” Alpha Isaac called out, rather smugly.

That was when she tugged Ashton over to Alpha Isaac and introduced him before allowing herself to be pulled into a tight hug from her Alpha.

“I’m so proud of you Cassie. And rather glad that your mate is an Alpha.” He commented slyly, earning a sharp punch to his shoulder from his wife.

Pandora Lockard was fierce as she was delicate. A true force of nature. So, Cassidy didn’t bother protesting when her Luna pulled her in for the tightest hug she’d ever received.

Once the greetings were done with, the group ventured into the house and to the Alpha's office.

Elder Orion bowed to the newest couple, a smile on his face.

"When Isaac told me of his plans for you, Luna Cassidy, I was doubtful. But it seems our Goddess had other plans for you and merely informed him of some of her plans to help you. You two will truly be blessed and I am overjoyed for you, my dear." He bowed once more, which Cassidy automatically returned, making Isaac chuckle.

"You don't need to bow now, Cassie. You hold rank with me, we get away with a lot when it comes to the Elders." Isaac teased and she flushed.

"It's ingrained to be respectful, old timer." She shot back and her dad roared with laughter as her brother blanched for a moment.

Hope smirked at her sister before nodding.

Isaac playfully scowled before grinning at her and the group sat amongst the various couches.

Nobody missed how Cassidy sat next to her sister and Alpha Irwin wedged himself against his mate.

"Lu- Pandora," Cassidy caught herself, making Isaac smirk which she ignored. "when Al- when Isaac met you, was it just as fast moving for you or did you adjust quickly?"

Pandora smiled at her, looking to her mate briefly who seemed confused. She took pity on the young Alpha.

"Alpha Irwin, to explain, Isaac met me when he was travelling to various packs to discuss the rouge situation twenty four years ago. Your little Luna was who I greeted first when I returned back from my previous pack during my transition years after she was born. As she got older and Jamie joined the family, they became good therapy for the, let's call it unpleasantness, from my previous pack, especially when I bore no heir immediately. I love those two as if they were my own, even after the public embarrassment of Leo, I still consider them my children, Hope included when she joined their little family. When Tamara passed, I was the one they sought out for the motherly affection and I doted on them. She is considered family which is why such a question was asked."

Understanding dawned and he nodded, giving his mate a brief smile who responded with a brilliant smile of her own.

The older pack members held back from chuckling at the love struck look on the young Alpha's face.

Pandora turned back to Cassidy who smiled sheepishly in return.

"Fret not little one. I adjusted quite fast, but I never took the mark as quick as you did. That may be why you feel it is going alarmingly fast. However, it seems that your natural born instincts from our genetics told you to make Alpha Irwin-"

"Please, if she considers you family, call me Ashton when it's just us. That applies to all of you." He interrupted quietly. Pandora smiled and nodded at the young Alpha.

"Ashton, then. Your natural born instincts told you to claim Ashton in the most basic and raw way possible. I'm certain your brother experienced it, and Hope will experience it with her mate."

Hope shifted uncomfortably but Pandora continued.

"It is why as parents, we do not police our young when it concerns mates, only when they are too young to understand that primal urge, do we police them to protect them."

"But, I'm human? How is it, that the primal urge in wolves, effectively showed itself within me?" Ashton found himself stunned at his mates words, trying to understand the progression of her emotions.

"Had you been one of the lower ranking wolves, or even just a civilian. But then again, perhaps not. You were destined for young Ashton here, so instinct would have prevailed where the change failed you."

"Wait, so the mating urge that my wolf was pushing, that wasn't over-protectiveness out of fear?"

Pandora smiled at Ashton.

"Perhaps it was a small part, but your wolf recognised on the most primal instinct that Cassidy is his, yours. The legend goes that the Moon Goddess gave us our soulmates, by splitting our souls in half, for us to find. The basic urge to claim, or to bite per say, is the souls connecting. You can feel what she feels, correct?" He nodded. "Cassie?" She nodded as well.

"Wait, but if our souls are split by the Goddess herself, what about me?" Hope's voice sounded broken and Cassidy wrapped her arm tightly around her younger sister.

"What do you mean?" Ashton quietly enquired and Isaac sighed.

"Do you remember how my Pandora spoke about the embarrassment of Leo?" Ashton nodded at Isaac's words. "Cassidy here, received formal training from myself and our Elders. She could see things that we could not. People argue and say we are flawless, but that builds a god-like complex, to us truly believing we can come to no harm. She saw every flaw and executed every plan to keep the wolves safe. About eighteen months ago, a young wolf was kidnapped. She was only six at the time. It took us months of strategic planning, Cassidy reviewing every open option and every potential ambush."

"Not to mention the god damn traps." She grumbled under her breath, making a sad smile appear on the old Alpha's lips.

"And avoid the traps we never saw. Her closest friend and confidant, Talon Scarsa was a talented warrior. I am certain that if he were still here, he'd transfer packs just to keep his best friend close and protect her. Don't misunderstand me, we knew he had a mate out there, but she was his priority because she was a weakness for a long time. They day she ran home from my son, terrified he would hunt and kill her, I took Talon into my own confidence and asked him to help. He was originally just for protection around the pack, but he became her best friend. And I know Matt was grateful for that after his own mate passed on." Isaac stood from his seat, heading over to his cabinet and pulling out what looked like a bottle of whiskey.

He said nothing as he poured out various measurements, handing it to everyone. Cassidy snorted at Hope taking a sip and cringing, but held onto the glass anyway as Isaac returned to his seat, tumbler of whiskey in his hand.

"The day we went out on the mission, it was executed perfectly, had my own fucking son not decided to sabotage it. The reports that came back from the wolves who had served under Cassidy prior to this assignment, said how Leo had led them from the route that would have protected Talon as he entered enemy lines to retrieve the young wolf. He died saving that child's life and Leo tried to pin the blame on Cassidy."

Ashton felt undiluted rage flow through his bones till Cassidy shifted herself on his lap and took his face in her hands.

"It was normal for me, the human to get such criticism. It never bothered me, but when they brought Talon home I was distraught. I was angry, christ, I double checked my plans and knew he should have made it out safely, yet he was in a body bag. And I knew one person who would cause such a thing so I came into my Alpha's office, all guns blazing, ready to kill the young heir for placing a packmate in jeopardy and for killing another."

Isaac laughed.

"She was a sight to behold, pure and undiluted fury towards Leo and he never knew what hit him. Literally. I believe she broke a bone or two after punching him a few times." Isaac grinned and she smiled, resuming her position next to her mate once she felt he had calmed down considerably.

"It was the first time we had ever pushed the pack link through her mind to get every ounce of information. At the time, Leo had apparently claimed a mate, and everyone believed him. Until I stripped him of every title and his mate, only for a howl to rip through the house. It was Hope here, who he had marked and made her feel everything he did with the girl he claimed his mate. So the Elders and I, we passed the title of Luna to her. So when I step down, she will take over the pack, and her mate will be Alpha, but it will be her who holds the title, who attends the meetings, does her duties as an Alpha."

"And now you wonder if the Goddess would gift you with a second mate?" Ashton asked quietly and Hope nodded.

"If he was meant to be my other half, am I taking the chance of someone else? Have I shifted things so that someone who was meant to potentially meet their mate is now stuck with me?"

Pandora tutted.

"What they never teach children is the story of the second chance mate. After generations of wolves had spread throughout the world, a wolf prayed to his Goddess after his mate was ripped from him. He asked either to be with her or to be allowed to move on with his life. It took the Goddess months, but she found another who too had lost their mate. She healed their souls in tune to each other, knowing the other would help through the losses they both suffered. Although, your case is slightly different, it still applies. The Goddess will have healed your soul and attuned it to someone who understands your pain. And they will support and love you no matter what." She comforted the young Luna and Hope nodded, a sad smile on her lips.

"Where is Leo now?"

Isaac scowled.

"We stopped keeping track after the first month. He was never worth our time after such an act of treason was committed.

"Ashton, didn't you say you were in talks about a rogue who was human?" Cassidy enquired quietly, knowing they'd all hear her.

"Yeah... You don't think he would, do you?" A growl reverberated and Ashton immediately wrapped his arm tighter around his mate in response.

"There hasn't been a wolf turned human in over two decades. It fits the timing and his tactics."

"If he is seen, kill him on sight, Alpha Irwin. He will infect the minds of rogues and try to form some sort of resistance. It will be bloodshed if we aren't careful."

And with those words, the two Alpha's delved into battle plans, Cassidy casually pointing out errors, and calling her mate and old Alpha idiots every time they overlooked the most basic thing.

Hope, who had never witnessed her sister in action, looked scandalised until their father muttered that this was tame and she was holding back. Only to grin when his eldest rolled up a newspaper and whacked both Alpha's around the back of the head.

This caused the group to laugh and Isaac playfully scowled whilst Ashton merely frowned, unable to understand how she was getting away with such an act.

"I'll toss you to the wolves, if you're not careful Cassie." Isaac threatened and she laughed in his face.

"You toss me to them, they'll make me their Queen and you know it. Quit being an ass and look how it could go wrong!" Both Ashton and Hope shared a look of lost before diving back into the plans.

Ashton felt stunned at how his mate could be so blase towards her old Alpha, and it was only when Beta Hayden took pity on the young Alpha, inviting him to go for a walk whilst the others argued semantics.

Both men were quiet as they began the journey from the pack house. Both were acutely aware of the warriors that were shadowing them, and neither expected anything less from either pack.

“Cassie has always been hard headed and stubborn. A trait she got from both her mother and myself.” Matthew finally started. Ashton smiled appreciatively.

“Oh my pack found that out quite fast. My warriors both love and hate her for it.” Ashton snorted at the huff of laughter he caught from the trees of the wooded area they passed by.

Matthew raised an eyebrow.

“We have two humans in our pack. One was found to have been tortured, for lack of a better word. The child’s parents and grandparents were the culprits. We held the first pack trial in decades and Cassidy proved her human side to them by taking a dagger from one of the warriors on stage.” Matthew flinched.

“Bet they loved that show.” He muttered and Ashton laughed.

“All of them were understandably furious, but she’s their Luna. If she were to order them, unless it goes against a direct order from me, they have to obey her. I don’t think she’s quite grasped how much power she actually holds in her hands.” Matthew laughed at that.

“Even as a child, she never understood why other children would bow to her. When I tried to explain it to her, she protested it until Isaac explained that it was her birthright and that she needed to stop fighting it because other Alphas would look down on both of them. She has so much respect for him that she took it without complaint from that day forward.” Ashton chuckled. He was not surprised in the slightest.

“How is it that with so much respect for him, she still talks to him the way she does?”

“It goes against every instinct, doesn’t it?” Matthew mused, a smirk on his lips. “Isaac never treated her differently. He never corrected her when she pulled stunts like the rolled up newspaper when it was a closed council. She knew the lines and knew when to cross them. Otherwise she was the perfect little human who still bowed to her Alpha’s wishes.” Ashton snorted at that.

“What was her mother like?” Matthew gave Ashton a sad smile at the question.

“Katie was a force to be reckoned with. She took no shit from myself or her Alpha. She passed on her best qualities to our children.” Ashton immediately recognised the look of pain and backtracked.

“My apologies, Beta Hayden. I didn’t mean to bring up painful memories.” Matthew smiled as he patted Ashton’s shoulder gently.

“It’s fine Alpha Irwin. You may as well call me Matthew, since you’re family now.” Ashton flashed him a relieved smile.

“Then call me Ashton, or Ash.” Matthew nodded as his hand dropped from Ashton’s shoulders. “I lost my dad, before I was ready to take over the pack. He always wanted me mated and secure with my pack before he wanted to step down. He wanted to step down and spoil grandchildren whilst being and adviser.”

“The day we heard about it, a lot of people mourned the loss of your father, Isaac included. He was a great man.” Ashton smiled in thanks at his mates father.

“I see you, with your children and lost mate, and I see my mom, and the difference is so vastly astounding. How did you, survive?” Matthew chose not to comment on how shy the question seemed.

“There could be plenty of reasons why we pushed forward the way we did. It may have been that because your mother felt you were old enough to care for yourself, she fell into her grief. I had two young children relying on me, I couldn’t. When Hope joined our little family years later, I knew that I would always miss Katie, that I will always love her regardless of what happens, but my children needed me and that instinct overpowered the grief.” He explained softly and Ashton nodded in understanding.

“You-thank you, Matthew. You didn’t have to be so honest. You were well within your right to tell me to back off.” Ashton commented quietly and Matthew nodded in agreement.

“I was. But you’re still a young adult who has so many questions. And it may hurt me, but if it helps you understand why your mother went the way she did, then I can take some moments of pain to help yours.”

Ashton’s respect for his mates father doubled as they returned to the pack house, re-entering whilst Cassidy was arguing her point across to her old Alpha and younger sister.

Ashton felt his heart swell.

It was another two hours before Cassidy's phone rang and she excused herself to answer the call.

"Cassidy speaking."

"Luna?" Came a frantic whisper and immediately she was tense.

"Trix? Are you okay little one?"

"They're hunting me, an' I can't find my warrior." She whispered frantically into the phone and Cassidy stormed back into the room, taking a pen and writing on a piece of paper.

'Contact Abel NOW! Trix being hunted by others'

"Trixie, angel, who is it that's hunting you."

"The mean boys, they changed and I can't get home. Luna I'm scared." The soft sob went quiet and even with Cassidy's limited hearing, she could hear the growls.

"Trixie, listen to me. Do you have something like a stick to hand or anything sharp?"

"No." Came the terrified whisper.

Cassidy tried not to growl herself. She turned to Ashton who gave her a thumbs up.

"Okay angel, where are you?"

"They chased me into the forest by school, they laughed when I said you'd protect me."

She could feel the tears build up and she had to close her eyes.

"It's okay angel, Abel is on his way to you, but promise you'll-" Her words were cut off by a terrified scream followed by a series of growls.

Her eyes shot open and stared at Ashton in horror as her worst nightmare became a reality for this little girl.

There was a deafening roar followed by the dial tone and Cassidy screamed.

"NO NO NO!"

Ashton was up in seconds with his arms around his mate.

"Abel is there, he stepped on her phone as he fought the younger wolves off. She's safe."

Tears flooded her face as the group looked on curiously.

"My pack has two humans born to wolves. One had an absolute loving family, the other, the other was tortured."

Cassidy let out a strangled cry and Ashton looked pleadingly to the Alpha.

"Her room is on the second floor."

The pair were gone immediately and silence reigned as Jamie shot off messages.

"The warriors are responding to Abel's distress call. The pack doctor is going to care for her since she doesn't have accelerated healing."

Upstairs, Ashton was receiving the same information, but needed to calm his distressed mate.

It took him awhile but she soon relaxed and nearly cried at his words. Instinct was urging him to state her, please her, reaffirm their bond after the horror he felt.

Yet he got her to talk first, and she told him how that had been her nightmare for years. Her biggest fear becoming reality for a defenceless child.

He knew his wolf needed to remark her, reassure her. But first he catered to her needs. Took her to new highs before finally pushing himself in and sending her to orgasm thrice before they climaxed together, his canines biting into her junction on her neck and she did the same to him, her soft teeth sinking through his skin like butter. He thought nothing of it as she pushed him onto his back, licking and sucking her mark on him, his stamina practically doubling as he reclaimed her again and again, the pleasure and primal urge pushing it against and again till they lay arm in arm, covered in a sheen of sweat as they drifted between the real world and consciousness.

"Never again." Was the only coherent word he could make out before oblivion claimed them both.

=

Once the week was over and Cassidy had packed up many of her things, she promised to visit as often as time would allow before they were on the way again. Thankfully, the jeep was just them, and Ashton took every advantage with his fingers sliding into his mate and making her call out his name.

They nearly crashed when she returned in kind and he knew had the other wolves been directly behind, they'd have been laughing.

Once they got back to the pack house, Roxanne was there with her new parents to greet them. The young girl flew into Cassidy before she began sobbing and Cassidy held onto the little girl tightly.

"Sh, it's going to be okay little one, I promise." Whilst Cassidy was comforting the young human, Ashton took Rae and Jackson Teller to the side and explained what Cassidy had almost demanded of him. And he couldn't argue her logic on the demands and had complied.

"Humans are rare in packs, to have two is something which terrifies her. Growing up, her Alpha's son threatened to do to her, what those traitors did to your daughter. It is a fear she has had to live with for years and she feels it doubly so with both of your daughters."

Jackson Teller was a wizened wolf, especially when he learnt from his grandfather's knee all about his pack and his duties. He could immediately see his new Luna's solution.

"She wants us directly in the pack house, doesn't she?" Rae looked stunned at her husband for a moment before turning to her Alpha.

"Yes. At least until the pack learns that this won't be tolerated and any attack will mean that wolf will be considered a traitor and killed."

"Strong words for a young Luna. I take it she understands the repercussions of these new laws?" Jackson did not know about his Luna's previous position and Ashton smiled.

"You've heard of Rosewood pack, Teller?" Jackson nodded immediately.

Rosewood, in his opinion, had risen through the ranks of efficiency and care for pack members. They were well within the top five packs that held such ranks.

"She was their strategist. She's planned for every possible outcome of these laws coming into effect and knows the varying consequences. She's also got ideas in place, ready to execute if said consequences show their head. She wants to head off disasters and keep it to minimal damage. But your children are her main concern right now."

Rae frowned slightly.

"She isn't trying to take them, is she Alpha?" She immediately blushed as her Alpha gave her a calculating look before he smiled.

"No. She has younger siblings who she helped her father take care of when her mother, his mate, passed away. It's natural instinct carrying over to the vulnerable. It probably hasn't helped that her previous Luna doted on the three siblings as they grew up, so it's all she's ever really known."

Rae relaxed immediately.

"Alpha Irwin?"

"Trainer Teller?" Came the amused response and Jackson smiled.

"Thank you, on behalf of my family, for protecting them."

"We'll make genius' out of them yet. Both girls will be sitting in on my meetings with the other Elders to learn. As Cassidy told me, she earned her place in the pack from the kindness of her Alpha and Elders. No thanks are needed for common sense."

That stunned the Teller parents as Roxanne finally allowed her Luna to bring her back over.

“Luna, please, are you okay?”

Cassidy smiled at Jackson and nodded her head, pushing Roxanne into her new mothers arms.

“It’s just, it’s scary hearing it and being utterly helpless. But she was smart and those boys will be punished.”

“If I may? How will you punish them?” Jackson kept his tone polite and Cassidy nodded her head slightly, letting her hand slip into Ashton’s.

“Mr. Teller-”

“Jackson, please Luna.”

“Jackson, what are the laws against treason?” Jackson frowned as his mind went over the instances for treason to occur.

“Depending on the severity, it varies. If they only had knowledge, it would mean exile at least. Actively working against the Alpha could result in death.”

“Your girls are under Alpha Irwin's protection. It was made known last week. You saw the public pack trial. Those boys will be banned from shifting until they are deemed safe. At minimum it means they will not shift for two years. If they fight it, it will result in exile. And this is being lenient considering it was attempted murder.”

Rae Teller felt her blood run cold.

“They deserve it.” She half growled, cradling Roxanne close. Jackson sighed but nodded in agreement.

“Let us settle back in, and we’ll be by to visit young Trixie. For now, head back to the surgery, we’ll see you later.” Ashton instructed and the Teller’s bowed before departing.

Once the door shut, Ashton gently kissed his mate, the sparks making the euphoria bubble through his body. The minx of a mate pushed herself against his hard cock, a smile playing on her lips.

“Is there anyone in the pack house?” She breathed and he paused as he used the link to search out his pack members.

The entire house was empty before he remembered that it was a school day which also meant that the adults would be at their jobs and even the night shift wolves were away from the house.

“No.” He growled before watching in amazement as his mate pushing him against the wall, falling to her knees whilst pulling his trousers down, boxers and all, allowing his cock to spring up and she smirked at him.

“You’ve been such a good mate, let me show you how pleased I am.” She breathed before taking his cock into her mouth and suddenly he was seeing stars as his body reacted, his hands and fingers sliding into her hair as she began to move.

The heat on his cock, along with her ministrations against his balls, it built his orgasm fast before she hollowed her cheeks out and shifted herself allowing him to hit the back of her throat.

“Cassie, oh fuck baby yes, yes, OH!” All his inhibitions vanished as he came, his hips jerking as she continued her motions and he moaned loudly.

As she licked him clean, he kicked off his pants and underwear, growling under his breath as she licked her lips and laughed.

“Good mate.” She teased playfully before he bodily picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder before strolling into the kitchen. He situated his mate on the counter and ripped the clothes from her body, earning him a shriek of surprise, which turned into a moan as he didn’t hesitate and pushed his fingers into her.

Pushing her on his back, he removed his body, sucking both fingers before climbing on top of her, his lips nipping and sucking at her skin, teasing her nipples and causing her to writhe on the counter top.

He travelled lower, biting and sucking the skin as he did so, hickies forming in his wake before he reached her clit and pushed his fingers back into her, making her body arch upwards.

He began slowly, curling his fingers deliberately as he brushed her g-spot and she began begging him, her gasps of his name mixed with the pleas.

Pulling her up, he flipped his mate so she was on her hands and knees and he found the irony of this position considering wolves were apart of the canine family.

But his thoughts derailed as he slowly pushed himself in and she moaned.

His hand pulled her up as he began to thrust, his movement slow as he snaked his arms around her body, one hand alternating with her nipples and his other began working on her clit.

His positions hit her g-spot perfectly and he made her orgasm thrice, her cum slicked across his cock and dripping on the countertop before he began to move faster, their skin slapping together.

His orgasm built as she orgasmed twice more, his fingers working delicately but furiously as he chased his own orgasm, thrusting once more, the force making her come and his canines biting down on her mark, making her body jolt against him.

His wolf was close to the surface and as his seed spilled into her, he paused for another moment before turning his mate around once more and lying her on her back as he pulled out, his cock firm once more as he began to kiss her and pushed back in.

He knew his wolf was in control as a growl slipped out as he thrust over and over, his lips firmly attached to her nipples and fingers working her clit.

She didn’t have time to recover, her body reaching orgasm over and over as he hit the spot perfectly before his own orgasm spilled into her once more, this time his canines elongating and biting firmly until he could taste blood, her cry of pleasure helping his human mind push the wolf back.

It took them a few moments of heavy breathing, unable to move before he pulled himself out, fighting his natural instincts as his mind sought the bond and there it was. His wolf had pushed the pack link to his mate and she was finally connected.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that?” She breathed as he kissed her soundlessly. On instinct, her hips ground against him as he did.

“My wolf just pushed the pack link to you. You may not have the shifting genetic, but you have the right DNA. Plus, that was all him. I’m certain he’ll push for pups before long.”

“I think it’s time you cleaned me up, mate.” She smirked and he found himself grin in response. Before he chased her upstairs, they tossed her ripped clothes and cleaned the counter before he growled lowly, chasing after her into their ensuite.

He was more than grateful that he’d reinforced the walls and made them soundproofed as he continued to fuck her, his primal instinct driving the need and stamina.

Cassidy found herself thanking the moon goddess for such an attentive and dominating mate.

Despite their shower, she felt the urge in her bones, pushing her mate onto the bed before she sank down on his cock, her body almost twitching in anticipation as she began to ride him slowly, listening to his moans mixed with her name.

She’d never experienced anything hotter in her life and she began to leave her own hickies on his skin, his hands gripping her hips as she kept the pace slow.

“Baby, please, oh my god please do something.” And in that instant, those words made her feel powerful. Alpha’s never begged, yet here her mate was, begging.

So she began to move faster.

He made her orgasm four more times before she finally picked up the pace, feeling the coil tighten around her abdomen.

As her mate came, sending her into a final orgasm, she bit where she had marked him, and surprisingly her teeth sank into his skin like butter, making him cry out her name as she tasted blood.

She rode out their orgasms before laying herself against his chest, her body moulder against his.

“If the moon goddess blesses us with children, that is her will. I feel ready to create a new family, to spend my life with you as we run the pack and prosper. You are mine and I am yours, my loving mate. And nothing will come between us.” Cassidy murmured to her mate. Ashton smiled.

“Forever, my beautiful, loving, strong mate.”

==

When the two of them had recovered, Cassidy got dressed, making sure to pick a shirt that hid the majority of the marks on her body. The only one she didn’t hide was the bonding one, knowing that Wolves would expect to see it.

Ashton watched her as she moved about, practically glowing with the amount of love he could feel from her. He began to understand why his mother went insane when his dad died. To lose this feeling? He knew it would drive anyone mad.

“C’mon, time to go visit the Tellers, mister big bad Alpha.” Cassidy teased as she tugged on her jeans, giving him a view of her ass. He laughed as he pulled himself from the bed, dropping a kiss to her cheek as she stood back up.

“Your wish is my command, Luna.” The tease made her flush but she grinned in return as she left their room and headed down to the kitchen.

The kitchen smelled of bleach, hiding the activities they’d done and when Ashton finally came downstairs, he laughed at her confused expression.

“I’d rather not horrify my pack members that do eat in here. Sides are cleaned down and disinfected so no wolves could begin to guess what we got up to.” The smirk on his lips made Cassidy roll her eyes, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Considering I’m not entirely sure what came over us-”

“Instinct.” She scowled.

“For you maybe. Not a wolf, remember?”

“Sounded like one.” The tease made her blush, turning away from her mate in embarrassment. He could only laugh as he wrapped his arms around his mates waist.

“Pandora explained it well enough. Unless the Moon Goddess shows up on the back field to say otherwise, don’t fret. Now, we have two more humans to visit.” Despite the flushed cheeks, she smiled at him in return as they left the pack house together.

When they arrived at the surgery, Jackson was sat outside, Roxanne settled next to him. From what Cassidy could guess, she was asking him all kinds of questions.

‘She’s asking about what parents are meant to do.’ Cassidy jumped a mile, whirling around to face Ashton who wore a look of shock at her reaction.

“What was that?”

“Have you never experienced a link before?” Cassidy shook her head at the astounded question that left Ashton’s lips.

“The only link I ever experienced was when Alpha-I mean Isaac pushed the link to see the first hand accounts from what I’d discovered with his sons treason. And it was painful for me. I didn’t realise that it was, well, this.”

Ashton felt his heart seemingly soften at the sight of his mate look so bashful at her words.

“It’s probably why my wolf pushed forward earlier. He’s pushed our link to you, so you’re connected to the pack, the other wolves will sense it now. But you have direct contact with me.” A look of understanding crossed her features as she took his hand as they began to make their way towards the Tellers.

“Well at least it won’t frighten the life out of me next time.” She teased him as they got closer, Jackson looking up and bowing slightly to the two.

“Alpha, Luna!” Roxanne greeted happily, clumsily copying the bow that Jackson gave. He chuckled at her attempt.

“I’ll teach you yet, little one.” He murmured and she beamed at him in return.

Cassidy could see the vast difference, and how quickly she’d bounced back from the trauma.

‘Do you think she’ll need therapy?’ She asked her mate through the link.

‘Eventually, but for now the doctor has managed to put a superficial block on her memories. They’re going to pull it back bit by bit so she can process the trauma without going off the rails.’

“How’re you doing, Roxanne?” Cassidy greeted softly as Ashton responded to her.

“M’good. Abel came by earlier, told me that he was gonna teach me n’ Trix how to defend ourselves and escape if we need to.” Cassidy’s heart sunk but she realised that it was another layer of protection.

“That’s good. How about we head on inside and find your sister?” She held her hand out to the young girl who nodded, taking Cassidy’s hand and then guiding her into the surgery.

Ashton and Jackson followed behind at a sedate pace.

“Those two have talked non stop about her. I’m almost certain they’ll want for nothing as they get older, not if Luna has anything to say about it.” Jackson commented and Ashton chuckled.

“Or myself for that matter. They’re smart little girls. One who has taught herself electronics, anther who survived in a harsh world before finding her family. They’ve both got makings of great women and I’m looking forward to teaching them, along with the Elders.” Ashton explained and Jackson nodded in understanding.

“They’ve got a good start, and I have no doubt that if there are any more humans in the pack in the future, she’ll have something set up in place for them.” And Ashton could only chuckle at how right the older wolf was.

The visit with Trix had soothed a lot of Cassidy’s fears. She was dismayed at the scar that ran from the shoulder to her wrist, but the fact that the youngest was still alive was a miracle all the same.

By the time they headed back to the pack house, Cassidy was a lot more relaxed and wasn’t as agitated. She knew it had worried Ashton, but once she’d relaxed upon seeing Trix was okay as she could be, Ashton relaxed as well.

“What will happen to the parents of the wolves that attacked Trix?” Cassidy asked quietly later that night. They were curled up in his bed, one of his shirts covering her frame. Ashton sighed, pulling her closer.

“The worst they’ll get is a slap on the wrist for not curbing their children after the pack meeting. I’m going to remind them that I was well within my right to exile or execute them. That fear, although I hate using that fucking tactic, it will go the rounds and parents will not want to see their children exiled or dead.” Cassidy sighed.

“I know it’s not much, but I can’t come down too hard too fast otherwise they will rebel against me. I’ve been a fair Alpha since I stepped up after my father's death and I know there are many who would want to use this as a chance to complain about me, to go to the Elder Council in an attempt to have me removed as Alpha.” He explained and she nodded her head in understanding.

“I get that. Children can be taught. But it’s the parents I’m concerned about. I was accepted with ease because of my status as Beta’s daughter, human or not. Roxanne and Trix don’t have that. Trix may get more respect when it comes out that her mate is a warrior, but even then there will still be plenty who will see them as weak links, try to get them out. I don’t want them to suffer for something they can’t help.” Ashton pulled his mate closer, pressing his lips against her forehead.

“We’ll work it out sweetheart, I promise. For now, we can focus on the fact that they’re alive and they have the best person looking out for their best interests.” The compliment made her preen slightly, a chuckle falling from Ashton’s lips as he buried his face against her neck.

“Sleep, the world can wait for an evening.”

Feeling the security of his arms around her, Cassidy couldn’t argue his words as sleep claimed her.

-

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[flirtingwitharson]

drunk remus plz

contrary to popular belief, I haven’t died, just am trying to find time and motivation you mega nerds

Remus Lupin wasn’t exactly one to get drunk. It was honestly difficult to get him even bordering on inebriated, considering his metabolism was extraordinarily quick, what with his lycanthropy and everything. It took some rather strong whiskey and arseloads of convincing to make it happen, really. Luckily enough, in all matters concerning whiskey and Remus Lupin, Sirius Black was very, very gifted.

“Remus John Lupin, you are not bailing on your own fucking birthday party,” Sirius scoffed, strolling dramatically into the common room and simultaneously scaring off children in younger years with the stomping of his heavy boots. “A little birdie called James let loose that you said to him that you ‘weren’t really feeling it this year’, or whatever bullshit excuse you gave. Not feeling it, my arse.”

Giving a world weary sigh–having only picked up just a hint of Sirius’ dramatic tendencies over the years–Remus uncrossed his legs and gently placed his bookmark inside his novel, preparing himself for the skirmish Sirius was surely about to stage. “You’re causing a scene,” were the words that came out of his mouth first, taking the form of a half-assed attempt to stop Sirius’ idiosyncrasies before they even got started. 

“As if,” Sirius replied, his drama increasing as his irritation increased as well. “Moony, you are turning eighteen, the big one-eight, Mr. Adult, you can’t just not  have a party. I won’t hear anything of it.” 

“It just gets boring, having all these parties all the time, you know that’s not my kind of fun, Sirius,” reasoned Remus tiredly. It was true; Remus was always the odd one out of their tight little group. He liked to go out, sure, but all of these grandiose parties with drinks, and people he’d hardly ever even talked to, it just wasn’t his scene. However, James and Sirius were quite the opposite: they loved to entertain, and host, and simply just have loads of fun, so organizing huge ragers in the Gryffindor common room and getting drunk off their arses was right up their alley.

“Moony, Moony, Moony,” Sirius crooned. “I’ll make it fun, I promise. Since when have I ever let you down?”

“Well–”

“Don’t answer that.”

The conversation seemed settled, and Remus was one hundred and one percent positive that he would resent his inability to say no to Sirius for the rest of eternity.

Sirius and James made it their goal for the evening to finally, for what might be the first time, to get Remus Lupin properly and totally pissed. Being the rich, unknowingly privileged people they were, they went out and bought the nicest, strongest alcohol they could, fully determined to make the one to remember–or get so drunk that they couldn’t. They snuck the crate they had gathered into their dormitory under the invisibility cloak, knocking it off their to-do list as they headed out to spread the word of  “Mr. Moony’s Birthday Banger” (not their most creative title, but it would have to do last minute.

“How do you figure you’ll even be able to convince him to drink?” James asked curiously as he walked besides Sirius, handing out flyers to all sixth and seventh years they came across. 

“Oh, some jealousy, a lap dance, and whispering dirty things into his ear should do the trick,” Sirius smirked devilishly, the unsurprised sigh that James emitted satisfying him.

“Why of all people he chose to fall for your sorry arse, I’ll never understand.”

“I’m irresistible, Jamesy, how could I blame him?”

The party was a roaring success, as was any event organized by the daunting duo of Padfoot and Prongs. The gift table was sneakily placed next to the drink table, encouraging everyone to not only spoil the birthday boy, but to get spoiled on the plethora of alcohol they had provided. Remus sulked nearby in an armchair, wearily smiling and conversing with all who were courteous enough to wish him a happy birthday, even if most were just there for the booze. Sirius tutted at the sight, and set off to begin step one of Mission Get Moony Hammered. He took a swig of the beer he was starting out with, and sauntered over to Kingsley Shacklebolt, one of the only other students besides Remus and himself that was out as a queer man, barring Marlene and Dorcas proudly announcing themselves as lesbian (far, far too publicly). He made eye contact with Remus from across the room, grinning mischievously before laying his hand on Kingsley’s shoulder. “Hey, Shacklebolt,” he said in a low tone, shooting him a well-practiced smile, “care for a dance?”

“What will the boyfriend say, Black?” Kingsley laughed back, knowing full well what Sirius’ end goal was, because they’d been down this road before.

“This time I’m not trying to get him to shag me–well, yet,” Sirius insisted. “I just fancy seeing him drunk off his arse on his eighteenth birthday, surely you understand what amusement that long-concealed knowledge could provide.”

“Very well,” came the reply as Kingsley allowed Sirius to drag him off to the makeshift dance floor and place his hands on his lower back. Sirius was confident that this would at least get Remus started, and surely enough, when Sirius looked back over ta his lover, their was a beer in his white-knuckled fist as he conversed with Frank Longbottom. Sirius knew that it was a bit sick to make his boyfriend jealous just for a drink, but Remus always pulled the same tactics when he wanted something out of Sirius, and the whole population of Europe could deduce that Remus and Sirius were madly in love and that their teasing and shenanigans meant nothing in the slightest.

“Thank you, Shacksy my dear,” Sirius smiled as he slipped a cheeky grab of his arse in before departing. “He better be good in bed!” Kingsley called after him halfheartedly, Sirius hardly having heard him as he made a beeline for Remus. He sat right on his lap, completely ignoring the conversation that he was interrupting while he tilted Remus’ chin up to make him focus on him alone. If he was honest, Sirius was already a bit tipsy, for he and James had ‘sampled’ everything before people arrived. 

Frank got the message and went off to go join James in a heated argument about the Quidditch World Cup, leaving Sirius and Remus alone in a rather small chair. “Enjoying yourself, Moon man?” asked Sirius, smiling down at his boyfriend happily, if not a little sneakily.

“Why do you always have to tease,” pouted Remus, furrowing his brow as he stared at Sirius  right back. 

“You and I both know it’s the only way to get you to have a little fun,” replied Sirius quite simply, ducking to peck the pout off of Remus’ lips.

“Don’t think I didn’t realize you bought particularly strong beverages this time around, mangy mutt.”

“…Okay, guilty, but I resent the mangy bit,” Black insisted. “Aw, c’mon, Moons, lighten up. It’s one night, and we leave here in three months for the last time, and everyone will forget all about us and no one will give two shites about that one birthday party they were at in March of their seventh year.”

Remus looked across the room, back at Sirius, and sighed. “Fine, then. Pour me a drink, you bastard.” Sirius could have sworn his grin reached his ears.

Two beers, one whiskey, and a multitude of birthday shots later, and James and Sirius were sure they reached their goal. In fact, they knew they finally had, but were quite honestly a bit frightened about what drunk Remus might entail. After all, he wasn’t used to it–he was almost never, ever drunk. 

Currently, Remus was dancing with an equally drunken Lily…shirtless, the both of them, on top of some table on the other side of the room. “Er, Prongs?” Sirius asked hesitantly. “Is it just me, or is that-is that Lily and Moons on that table?”

James’ eyes widened as they flicked from Sirius to the table and back to Sirius again. “I fucking believe it is,” he replied in awe. “Hell, Moony’s hammered! He’s got to be, he never even takes his shirt off in front of me, much less in front of loads of randos.” After the shock settled down a bit, James and Sirius raced over to go convince their significant others to put their clothes back on and drink some water, as Sirius and James had been doing for the last half hour in order to be good hosts.

“Pads! Oh, you’ve got to dance with me up here, I’m a much better dancer than Kingsley,” Remus whined gleefully–and rather bluntly at that–his voice surprisingly slurred. 

Unlike Remus might have done if the situation were switched, Sirius gave in. He let Remus pull him up to the table, and was happily shocked when Remus hands immediately slipped down the back of his pants. It was quite the spectacle, but Sirius was always one for causing scenes. James had already persuaded Lily off the table and to the staircase to sit her down and give her water–for fear of another embarrassing situation (she was a wild drunk). 

“Moony!” Sirius yelped, jaw falling open when Remus slipped his hand down further and squeezed his arse. “There are prying eyes!” Remus shrugged and simply pressed his body closer to Sirius’. Sirius made eye contact with James and grinned, mouthing ‘holy fuck’ as Remus continued to borderline grind on him, acting much unlike himself. 

“Mm, I’ve the hottest boyfriend in the school,” Remus mumbled lowly in his ear, ignoring Sirius’ half hearted attempts at prying him off. All of their friends were catcalling them and cheering them on by now, but Remus was completely and utterly oblivious. 

“Moony, as much as I love what you’re doing, you can’t do…whatever it is you’re trying to do in front of half the school,” Sirius reprimanded, taking a deep breath and internally believing that he should earn some type of award for the amount of strength it took to not give in to Remus right then and there.

“You…are an awfully boring boyfriend, s’not fair,” Remus pouted, trying to tug Sirius’ shirt off now too. When Sirius didn’t give in, Remus huffed and stepped back, subsequently falling off the table. “Fuck,” he groaned, trying to stand up, yet falling right back down. Sirius covered his mouth with his hand and laughed in surprise at Remus’ expense, but stepped off the table when he realized he should probably be a gentleman and help him up. 

“C’mon, pup, let’s get some water in you,” he suggested, crouching as he sat Remus up and stroked his hair. Remus looked like he was about to protest, but was interrupted as he leaned over and vomited all over Sirius, then passed out.

Maybe this would be a night to remember after all.

[sweetfirebird]

omg the more I see which authors are praising DSP right now in public and calling the other authors’ speaking out “ugliness”, the angrier I am getting. Big name fucking authors who get treated differently than everyone else keep downplaying the whole thing. Like “yes some payments are a bit late” or “it’s a small hiccup” when there are actual writers struggling to pay their bills?????

Holy shit, I’m mad. I’m so fucking mad. You want to stand by them, then fine. But to fucking try to gaslight the authors who have been worrying about money since LAST YEAR? (Because, oh yeah, our royalty payments were late last year as well. At Christmastime/the end of the year no less). 

You don’t touch royalty money as a publisher. You don’t touch it. It’s not for you. It’s not for expansion plans or investments in a new site or yearly trips to France. It’s for the authors who fucking earned it and helped make you money in the first place! (And don’t even get me started on what DSP offers for their cut of your money because I will get more mad.) Your actual profits after payments and royalties are for expansions and investments. That’s it. 

But then to pay some authors and not others? Then to AGAIN not be transparent (I have been complaining for literal years that DSP has problems being clear with their authors. Even when you ask, you won’t get a clear answer. And not just about royalties. --though apparently they are transparent af to their other writers. Nice.) All a whole lot of Dreamspinner’s issues would be taken care of if more of their writers trusted them, and this whole situation is making very clear that a) a lot of their writers didn’t trust them much even before this and b) there are clearly tiers of writers working for DSP and the top tier are very invested in making sure the lower tiers keep their noses to the grindstone. (As long as they get their royalty checks, I guess.)

No joke, these “complaining” authors have been working hard and earning DSP money--and then not getting theirs. For them to publicly comment on this, and be mad about it, is not “ugliness”. Fuck off with that shit. 

And I’m not even getting into other issues with DSP right now (very much also related to how they do not answer questions from their authors). I am not even yelling at DSP. I am yelling at every single author/artist who works for them who has been dismissive and rude toward the people genuinely frightened and stressed out right now. 

I am clocking your names, and you aren’t getting a dime from me. Not that you need it, since apparently all of you are still getting paid. 

[mr-lancers-english-class]

Bringing a Ghost Hunter to a Laser Tag Fight

Phic Phight Entry! Prompt by @confusedandghostly​: Valerie is questioned after a round of lazer tag with some friends because of her ridiculously good aim.

Word Count: 1368

AO3

It wasn’t until they all made it back home that they began to actually think about it. It was meant to be a fun Friday night, what with Valerie back in the group. All the A-Listers out to celebrate Starr’s birthday. Something fun and stupid and cheap. Laser tag. It wasn’t until they all thought about it that something seemed off.

Dash realized when he was watching Casablanca the next night, at home with his sister. The way Rick held the gun at the end had no confidence. It was the way people hold their first gun: just a bit wary. Admittedly, Dash thought to himself, movies from the 1940s are a whole lot different than now. That’s just how they held fake prop guns back then. So what if she held it better than that? It took another couple of seconds before he realized the she he was referring to was definitely Valerie, and another couple of minutes to dissuade himself of the idea that she knew what she was doing the last night. But his quiet reassurances couldn’t stop the little questioning thought in the back of his head.

Kwan realized the next day when he was throwing a frisbee with his dog. Having hit three trees, his own car, the car next to his car, another dog, and two pedestrians, he muttered to himself “Valerie would never miss the dog. She’d never hit a car or a person, and I’m the one on the football team.” He threw the frisbee two more times before the absurdity of his statement hit him, and was about to release it a third time when he knew for certain that what he had said was, without a doubt, true. His dog barked, so he threw the disc into a picnic table on accident, and thought back to the laser tag game.

Paulina took a week to even begin thinking about the fake guns and their little light shows. It was only watching the Red Huntress weave and dodge Skulker while fighting Phantom that she started comparing the ecto weapons to the laser guns, and it was only after Skulker was gone and the Huntress had no distractions from Phantom that she began to realize just how smooth and natural Valerie was in the game. Nobody should be good at laser tag without cheating, and Paulina was pretty sure she’d never seen Valerie so much as stumble in the dark arena.

While Dash, Kwan, and Paulina were happy and carefree until they started thinking too much, Starr noticed immediately. She had invited Valerie, despite her fall from the social ladder freshman year. They’d always been friends, closer than people thought, and as seniors now, Starr just didn’t care about publicly hanging out with the “right” friends. So when Valerie won the first game by almost a thousand points, Starr paid attention. When Valerie won the next game by double her own score, Starr became wary. After attempting to follow Valerie in the third game and losing her in less than a minute, then watching as she once again placed first, Starr wanted answers. For the fourth game, Starr didn’t even bother trying to find Valerie; she specifically tried to get surrounded in the hopes that Valerie would find her. It worked, and watching Valerie snipe half the enemies and then evade and destroy the other half actually began to make Starr frightened by her classmate. Being a black belt meant Valerie was skilled and strong, but only real life experience could lead to her comfort in the dark, smoky, flashy arena and her comfort with the little laser pistols. After the fifth game, Starr finally managed to corner Valerie at the food counter.

“Hey Val.”

“Starr! This has been so fun. I needed a night off.”

“Well, I’m glad. It’s been too long.”

“Yeah, it has,” Valerie smiled. “Happy birthday!”

“Thank you, Val,” Starr sat down at the counter, and motioned for Valerie to join her. “You want anything? My parents have a tab or whatever it’s called here, and even if you order something big, they’ll blame it on Dash or Kwan. They eat a lot.” Valerie laughed.

“Yeah, they do. Remember, in fifth grade, when they each tried to eat a whole pizza?”

“That was hilarious.” Starr turned back to look at the overpriced menu. Be subtle, Starr. Ask, but don’t make it obvious. “So, Val, you’re really good at laser tag. How often do you play?”

“Not enough. My dad used to take me here, back before we moved. It was our father-daughter thing. He was always really good.”

“What about you? When did you get good?” Starr glanced at Valerie.

“Well, probably, uh, when I started working out on my own,” Valerie trailed off. Starr had always been good with people, she could read them like books. Right now, her friend was hiding something. It was obvious, to the point that she bet Paulina would have seen it if she were here.

“That makes sense. You were pretty fast in there.”

“Thanks. You were good too,” Valerie said. Starr laughed.

“Not really. Not like you.” Before either of them could say anything else, someone came to get their orders. Valerie got a personal cheese pizza, a large salad, and a large drink. Starr got a hotdog and a small drink.

“What were you saying? I don’t remember.”

“You were really good. Like, scary good. And I have a feeling it’s more than just working out more. Val, no one is good at laser tag without cheating, but you weren’t cheating. So how’d you do it?”

“Do what?” Valerie had gotten sharp and defensive.

“Everything. Everything you did in that maze. I mean, you sniped a bunch of them, you took a bunch out on the ground, you even got the ones who had the vests on over their vests. You got both vests. On all of them. How?”

“I told you, I’ve been working out-”

“Please, Val. Working out only gets you so far. You were comfortable in there. You used the little pistols like you knew what you were doing.”

“My dad’s taught me how to use guns. For his job. He’s a security guard.” Valerie’s eyes were flitting everywhere.

“Please stop lying to me,” Starr sighed. “You’re my best friend Valerie. You’ve been my best friend for years. You don’t need to lie to me.”

“I though Paulina-”

“Paulina’s okay. She’s nice enough, but I don’t trust her, not like I trust you. She’s more worried about her social status than anything else.” Starr paused. “So please, Val, you don’t have to hide anything from me.”

Valerie had stopped looking for an escape. Her eyes were locked on Starr, and her gaze was intense. Starr had to physically stop herself from shrinking away. “I’ll tell you, Starr. Not here, not now, but I’ll tell you. You’re my best friend too, and I do trust you.”

Their food arrived then, and Valerie looked away quickly.

“Thank you, Valerie.”

“I can come over tonight, after Dash and Kwan and Paulina leave. Does that work?”

“Yeah, of course.” The two seniors turned the conversation to lighter topics, and finished their meals. They played one more game with the other A-Listers before everyone went their separate ways.

Dash, Kwan, and Paulina spent a few hours at Starr’s house, playing Truth or Dare and watching cheesy horror movies. Valerie went on an extended patrol. She barely even looked for ghosts, instead thinking about how to explain her extra job as the actually good ghost-hunting human to her friend. Starr spent the rest of the evening waiting. She knew she hadn’t been there for Valerie as much as she should have, but she also knew that, starting right then and there, she would be. Valerie was her friend, and she would do anything to be able to help her, especially with whatever her secret was.

As she stared out the window in her room, taking in the stars and the Amity Park skyline, with the bright green sign illuminating Fentonworks and the occasional flash from little ghosts, Starr had a feeling she knew what Valerie was going to tell her.

[free-the-mages]

15 Questions

:] Many thanks to @fen-harel for the tag!!! They’re always including me and that makes me feel... included. And happy! <3 I don’t remember if this is my first OOC meme thing like this but it’s the first I do remember, so… yeah! ;] Ya’ll (who read this) are ‘bout to learn more about me than you probably want to!

Are you named after someone? First off, the name I use online – Kaitlyn – is my real name. As far as being named after someone… like, not really? Though my mom has, on multiple occasions, told me about how Sheena Easton’s character on Miami Vice was named Caitlin, but she didn’t like that spelling so she changed it. So the name was brought to her attention from that, but she didn’t name me it because she loved the show or the character or anything. She just fell in love with the name.

When was the last time you cried? More like, when was the last time I didn’t cry?! Haha, jkjk. I am an emotional wreck tho. :] I actually teared up a bit earlier today, realizing it was N7 Day, and that sending me into the rollercoaster of feelings I get from Mass Effect in general, but there are also some super heavy feelings attached to the Trilogy for reasons outside the scope of the game itself. I guess. Idk if that makes sense, but it’s not something I’m gonna go into so publicly here. (Tbh, it’s not something I have an issue talking about, it’s just something that could definitely be triggering for others and I don’t wanna put that out there like that.) Anyway, moving on!

Do you have kids? I have a cat! I’m not gonna ask if she counts because she 100% does!! Her name is Memphis (yes, like the city in Tennessee) and I love her and she’s my baby!!!! My lil’ Mem Mem! My Moo Moo!! (she is my world, guys.)

Here’s a couple gifs I made for you guys of her high on the ‘nip!

Do you use sarcasm a lot? A fair amount, yeah. But really only if I’m comfortable with people though. I’ve even had friends who don’t fully understand my humor/sarcasm and are like, “… seriously?” and I’m like, “… no.” :3

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their approachability. I’m not insanely social, ya know? So when I’m meeting people or taking note of people, I tend to assess how approachable they appear. And yeah, some of that is how they look, but come on. The whole not judging a book by it’s cover thing is definitely a thing. I guess I just really know whether or not I’m going to feel comfortable with/around a person by the sense of approachability I get from them. It happens immediately, really. Mostly from the way they greet me, or introduce themselves to me, or engage with me. I gravitate towards immediately engaging people. If a person seems standoffish, I’m like… this isn’t gonna work probably. Which isn’t super great, because maybe some people are just having an off day and aren’t super into engaging at that time! But it is what it is, I guess. One does try to be better, though. ^^ Now, if we’re talking about online, it’s pretty much the same thing. I notice the way they present themselves, and you usually can really tell how approachable a person is by the way they talk through text and like, emojis and stuff. :] Being social online isn’t really any easier for me than it is in person, so if I’m looking at someone’s blog or something and I’m just like, “This person seems so great. I’d like to be friends!” then I def know they’re def approachable. To me, at least. xD (I’ve come across a lot of approachable appearing people thus far in my time in the fandom! <3)

What’s your eye color? Like a bluish/greyish/greenish color. It shifts a bit sometimes. There are also some orange-ish flecks in there.

Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Well, I’m not super into scary movies. I mean, I definitely love a happy ending, no matter what!! But I’ve been trying to challenge myself in recent years to watch more scary things because I detest being frightened (it’s more of the jump scare/startle thing that I really hate) but I can’t just watch any scary movie. It has to have a plot that really sticks out to me. However, thus far, every scary movie I’ve gone out of my way to see has been a dud in my – and my movie-going partners’ – book. I’ll keep trying, though! One of these days I’ll find a scary movie that I’ve personally picked to see that I actually like and would watch again!

Any special talents? Um…. I’m fat and can do the splits?! Is that a special talent?! (By some people’s reaction[s], it sure seems like it. xD) Idk. I tend to think there’s nothing special about me, as one does, u kno. :]

Where were you born? A hospital in Florida sometime during the rampage of Hurricane Hugo.

What are your hobbies? Um… video games? xD Drawing! Writing (when I actually write, that is)! Making gifs! Sleeping! Making fun of myself in a way that seriously sounds like I’m putting myself down but it’s totally okay because that’s just what I do so don’t worry about it! :D I’m just garbage, guys. <3

Do you have any pets? THE GIFS AGAIN!!!!

THAT FACE.

LOVE HER.

How tall are you? Last I knew I was like, 5’7” or so.

What sports do you play/have you played? None, because I am not athletic in the least! OHOH! I did play volleyball for a half a second in elementary school! But there were no other teams to play against so we literally had ONE!! practice. :]

Favorite subject at school? LUNCH!!!! *fat girl in body and spirit* :3 But really. I’ve always been pretty good at English/whatever you wanna call your literary classes or whatevs. I was in AP English in 10th grade! But I didn’t apply myself like I should have after Freshman year, so… the whole AP thing didn’t last long. :] Anyway, I was good at the English, but I wouldn’t say that, as a class, I ~~~liked it all that much. MATH IS G A R B A G E THANK YOU VERY MUCH. So is gym. TOO. MUCH. RUNNING. Idk. School was a total crapshoot for me so I wouldn’t say I really appreciated any class.

BUT THAT’S A FUCKING LIE.

FRENCH.

FRANÇAIS.

MY TEACHER WAS A GLORIOUS WOMAN AND SHE MADE THE CLASS SO FUN AND ENJOYABLE.

So yeah. The answer is French. :]

Dream job? Honestly I always felt like it was something I’d never have, so it’s something I’ve never really thought about. I mean, just something I enjoy doing that I don’t hate in less than a decade. That makes me some decent money, ya dig?

So basically that’s it!! :D Whew, that was long! I’m not gonna officially tag anyone ‘cause everyone’s already been tagged, I just know it. But if you aren’t tagged and you happen to see this and wanna do it, then DO IT!! :D And tag me so I can read it!! Also thank youuuuu to anyone who read this. Love you all!!!

 <3

[kaette-kita-slayers]

Slayers Special 3-5 - Currently In Training

I thought I'd go back and cover this one, since it's related to the SFC game. Most of the novel-only characters who join your party in that game have fan or official translations of material related to them, but Claire, as far as I know, is the one exception. So here's her story from Slayers Special!

Currently In Training

"Ooh <3 Hey, you two are traveling sorceresses, right?"

The excessively chirpy greeting had come from a girl with long, black hair. Probably just a little older than I am, she was beautiful, with wide, expressive eyes. Judging by the clothes she wore, she was most likely a sorceress in training.

Lina and Naga are seated at a restaurant, Lina finishing off some cheesecake while Naga downs an enormous stein of vodka. When Lina answers in the affirmative, the girl introduces herself as Claire and asks for their help, ramblingly telling them that she has a difficult paper to write and was looking for a capable sorcerer to help.

Naga warns her that it will be expensive to hire the two of them, as famous, top-class sorceresses. (Annoying Lina, who doesn't want to accept the request, regardless of the pay.) On hearing that they are famous, Claire thinks for a moment, then realizes...

"Wait, could you be... Lina Inverse?!"

"You got it. I'm impressed." My eyes went wide.

"Well, of course. I've heard all about you, and you look exactly like I imagined. I'm a big fan! Can I get your signature later? <3" she said, grasping Naga's hand tightly.

You're a little off there.

"Um, hello...?"

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry for ignoring you! Lina, is this your assistant?"

"Heh, she certainly is my assistant."

"Yeah, right! Listen, Claire, I'M Lina. That's a bunch of goldfish poop called Naga."

Claire is disappointed that Lina isn't actually the way she imagined her.

"You know, according to the rumors, you can tell just by looking at Lina that she has an awful personality, and she wears pointlessly skimpy clothing, and she has that evil sorceress look, right?"

"Do you seriously expect me to agree with that?!"

"In what way do I look like an evil sorceress?!" Naga spit out the words without the slightest bit of self-awareness.

"Don't get so mad! ... I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm just so honest, I say whatever pops into my head."

Claire goes on to say that she really is a big fan of Lina's, and she especially liked how Lina burned Cruasal City to ash with lighting. Lina angrily protests that no such thing ever happened, and Claire is disappointed.

Not wanting to help a trainee with her schoolwork, Lina lectures Claire, telling her that the real value of a paper is in the work you put into it.

Which really is true. All members of the Sorcerer's Guild are given ranks, and in order to go from "trainee" to "sorcerer", a student has to submit a number of papers and have them approved by their master. After that, depending on accomplishments, they can further raise their rank, which comes with privileges such as being allowed to access more of the guild's library. In Claire's case, she may still be able to get preferential treatment within the guild, but access to esoteric works on magic will be meaningless if she hasn't learned enough to understand them.

Claire tells Lina that she doesn't need help with writing the paper itself; the problem is that her assigned topic is a nearby castle that's rumored to be occupied by a vampire. Lina is surprised, since vampires are the strongest and most intelligent variety of undead, physically and magically far stronger than humans.

Then again, they have plenty of weaknesses, particularly the fact that sunlight reduces them to ash---Lina personally thinks they're kind of wimpy. Naga echoes that sentiment, saying that Claire is a pretty poor sorceress if she's afraid of a vampire. While it's true that Lina or Naga would have nothing to fear, Lina thinks, a vampire would be a tough opponent for a trainee.

Lina disapproves of Claire's master assigning her something so difficult and wonders why. Naga suggests that it must be some kind of harassment, or an attempt to manipulate Claire into something. Claire looks away and tells them that Master Graham has been sexually harassing her, trying to get her to spend the night.

Lina reflects that there are a lot of utter disgraces to the profession who use their teaching positions to take advantage of students, then, if publicly accused, claim it was all just a "trial" for the student to overcome. Angered, she tells Claire she should just start lobbing Flare Arrows whenever that kind of thing happens, and even offers to go give her master a beatdown right away.

Claire turns her offer down, at least until her paper is finished, since she'll be only be accused of resorting to violence to cover up her inability to complete her work. She seems to be expecting (hoping?) that Lina will burn the whole city down.

She says that she'll guide Lina and Naga to the castle tomorrow morning, and Lina reminds her that they never agreed to her request in the first place or discussed a fee. Claire tries to insist that Lina had agreed to help for free, but Lina shoots her down. Claire then gives them an initial payment of all of two copper coins.

"Come on! Who in the world would march into a vampire's lair for that kind of money?!"

"Whaaaaat?! But they say that Lina Inverse would destroy a city for a single copper coin..."

"Who says?"

"Oh, well, I think so... Am I wrong?"

"Completely wrong!"

On hearing what I said, Claire's face fell, and she said, "Aww... that's no fun..."

Protesting that she's only a trainee with no sponsors, Claire next tries to offer six silver coins. Lina and Naga are ready to leave, but Claire stops them by telling them that she's heard the vampire has some kind of treasure. Lina is doubtful, thinking that she'd be better off going after some bandits, since vampires are typically weirdos who hoard useless junk. Claire assures her that this one was originally the human lord of the castle, who became a vampire after developing an obsession with magic.

Lina finally agrees, but Naga reminds her that they've never once managed to profit from these kinds of jobs, because something ridiculous and stupid always happens. Lina realizes she's right, but...

"You said you'd take the job! You can't say 'no' now! If you do... I'll write mean things about you inside some book and leave it in the reference room at the Sorcerer's Guild!"

What are you, a little kid?

"Claire... just curious, do you happen to have a relative named Mina?"

"Yes, one of my cousins... How did you know?"

"Oh... no reason."

The next day, Naga is nowhere to be seen, and Claire, upbeat as ever, leads Lina to a musty, overgrown old castle. Lina is less enthusiastic about the idea of having to explore the entire place from top to bottom.

If we were here on a simple vampire-exterminating expedition, I could just douse him with some oil or something and set it on fire, then have some lunch and enjoy the view, but today, I'm only here to loot the---I mean, help with the paper.

She asks Claire if she's afraid, and Claire replies that as long as she's dealing with some type of undead with a physical presence rather than a ghost, she's fine. (Irrational as it might be, Lina feels the same.) Besides, Lina is there to deal with anything that might attack them.

As they pass through the gate, they are greeted with the sight of countless skulls covering the ground, all the way up to the castle entrance. Claire is somewhat less than frightened.

"THIS IS SO AMAZING! What an incredible view! Looking at this kind of thing makes me feel like my soul's being cleansed, or like I've just come home! <3"

Lina picks up one of the skulls and bashes it into the ground, breaking it. Claire protests, but Lina picks up one of the fragments and shoves it in front of her face, showing her that it's brown on the inside---a fake made from painted pottery. Lina points out that if the vampire had really killed this many people, there would have been a serious effort to eliminate him.

As they continue toward the door, they keep hearing a strange clattering sound, and a dozen or so skeletons assemble themselves from the bones on the ground, all in an instant. Lina easily destroys all of them, and she and Claire enter the main hall of the castle.

Unsurprisingly for a vampire's lair, the windows are all carefully covered up, so Lina casts Lighting. They encounter some Living Mails, but they're no tougher than the skeletons.

"Wow, you really are awesome. They don't call you 'the enemy of all who live' for nothing."

"Who, exactly, uses that nickname for me...?"

"Me me me! <3 I came up with 'the world destroyer' too, and I made sure everybody knows about it. <3"

"Please just stop... or at least don't say anything to other people..."

I wonder... Could my bad reputation all be the result of her spreading rumors...?

They are interrupted by a male voice coming from directly above them, but before Lina can even look up, the air fills with countless small explosions. As the smoke clears, a familiar laugh rings out, and Naga appears, surprised to see that the intruder she's after is Lina.

Behind Lina, Claire mutters to herself, calling Naga a "traitor" and an "old lady", which Naga naturally takes exception to. Naga protests that she'd only accepted a request to protect the castle from intruders, when the man showed up at her room the night before. (Said "man" is hanging upside down from the chandelier like a bat, very clearly a vampire---to anyone who isn't Naga.)

"Look, Naga, I don't know how much he paid you, but..."

"Fifty gold coins up front."

"Fif---?!" I cried out unintentionally, then without any hesitation, I turned around to face Claire and said, "Heh, heh, heh... You fell for our trap, Claire."

"Don't betray me!"

... Oh well, so much for that...

Lina demands to know how the vampire found out about their plans, and he reveals that he had a spy at the inn they stayed at. Lina and Naga start firing spells at one another, but when Lina refers to the man a "vampire", Naga appears shocked.

"It can't be---you're a vampire?!"

Oh, come on.

"What...? Yes, of course I am..." the man replied, with a confused expression.

"Oh, no... So you tricked me, then?!"

"'Tricked'...? I wasn't trying to..."

"Don't even try to give me some shameful excuse! Did you ever once say to me that you were a vampire?!"

"That doesn't matter! Normally, if you saw a bat turn into a person right in front of you, you'd at least figure out, 'Oh hey, that's a vampire'!"

"I wouldn't! I just thought you were a little strange!"

Lina forcibly ends the conversation with a Hell Blast, annihilating the vampire, thinking to herself that Naga might make you miserable as a friend, but there's nobody more fun to have as an enemy.

As the group prepares to look around the castle, a group of about a dozen vampires appear from the shadows. Lina is shocked, but Claire is unfazed.

"Huh? Didn't I tell you there's not just one vampire in the castle?"

The vampires attack, and Lina yells to the others to retreat. They're at a severe disadvantage against so many opponents, and Lina can't use any big spells like Dragon Slave unless she wants to bring down the castle and crush everyone.

Hearing Lina, one of the vampires blocks the door and fires off a number of Flare Arrows, which Naga blocks with a wind barrier. The rest of the vampires begin chanting spells, and Lina quickly begins casting Vu Vraimer. Naga yells at her, since a golem isn't going to be much use for fighting vampires, but that isn't Lina's plan.

In order to form the golem, the spell draws stone from the walls, splitting them open and letting sunlight stream in, killing the vampires and creating an escape route all at once.

"Just what I'd expect from you, Lina!" Claire cried out in admiration.

"Hmph. I'm not like Naga."

"But I was kiiinda hoping you'd do something a little more showy to slaughter them all."

"Request granted! One Dragon Slave, coming up!"

"Ooooh!" Claire said, applauding.

Lina demolishes the castle with Claire egging her on, the paper entirely forgotten until it's too late. Not having any other options, Claire accepts Lina's earlier offer to beat up her master.

Lina ends up hiding behind a tree outside Graham's house, waiting for Claire's signal to rush in, accuse him of everything he's done, and beat him to a pulp. (Naga had wanted to help, but Lina felt the fewer people involved, the better.) She can hear the two arguing inside, beyond the terrace window, and then Claire yells at the top of her lungs, the signal Lina was waiting for.

Lina casts Diem Wind, forcing the window open, and makes a dramatic entrance, leaping with a flourish to land in front of the window. She stops short once she sees who's inside---Claire, of course, but also a silver-haired, twenty-something woman.

Claire introduces Lina as the one who destroyed the castle, and confirms to a bewildered Lina that the husky-voiced woman really is "Master Graham". Graham wastes no time trying to seduce Lina, who turns and literally runs, leaving Claire behind.

Notes

Mina is from the story "Villain Fight" in volume 1. She's a self-centered and rebellious priestess who keeps a literal diary of all her grievances, complete with (terrible) illustrations. She also appears in the SFC Slayers game, where her diary functions as your save system.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

HOW TO GET STARTUP HUB

You'd have to get close, and stay close, to your users. So he sets as his goal in the Metaphysics the exploration of knowledge that has no practical use. The lesson: don't pick cofounders who will flake. One founder said explicitly that the relationship between risk and reward are equivalent, decreasing potential rewards automatically decreases people's appetite for risk doesn't merely kill off larval startups, but taxed away all other surplus wealth? And that is the most recent of many people to ask why Twitter is such a big deal. The reason is that variation in productivity is accelerating. A deals per partner per year. It didn't shake itself free till a couple hundred years ago, it would still be important to release quickly, because for most of that time the leading practitioners weren't doing much more than writing commentaries on Plato or Aristotle while watching over their shoulders for the next twenty years, they'd get surprisingly far.

Now the only threshold is courage. If there's something people still won't do, it seems as if society just has to be pierced too. Sometimes it literally is software, like Hacker News and our application system. I haven't decided. I don't consider myself to be doing research on programming languages. The arrival of a new type of investor is big news for startups, because there used to be rare and valuable. Is there a downside to ramen profitability? But while some openly flaunt the fact that the founders of the companies we've funded were started by undergrads.

One founder said this should be your approach to all programming, not just as a landmark in the history of philosophy. Ok, it may inhibit you from thinking improper thoughts. Particularly to young companies that are above pulling this sort of trick to pledge publicly not to. What makes anything good? But with other types of startups you may win less by features and more by deals and marketing. Structurally, the list of n things is so relaxing. I'm going to number these points, and maybe a lot longer. When I talk to the founders instead of the company to give up in one shot.

In fact what you do? 90% of what ends up in my essays was that they weren't written the way we'd been taught to write essays in school. VCs. In math and the hard sciences. The only way their performance is measured is by how cheaply they can buy you, because both acquirers and investors judge you by your level of commitment. The only way to know for sure would be to a sculptor. That will change the balance of power between the networks and the people who produce shows. Which means a junk food can be very cheap, and b it's worth spending a lot to start a startup: a founder quits, you discover a patent that covers what you're doing, even if they had to work at another job to make money, and if you know what?

But there's no central, indivisible thing that your identity goes with. As a little piece of debris, the rational thing for you to solve. Now the people who make the most money: make the best surgeons operate with their left hands, force popular actors to overeat, and so did a YC founder I read the list in any order. Other times it's more unconscious. In fact, some of each. I sent all the founders an email asking what surprised them most about doing a startup was how fun it was: I think you've left out just how fun it was: I think you've left out just how fun it is to focus on the upside: they get a percentage of the fund's gains. I think you've left out just how fun it was: I think the difference between its retail price at a garage sale. I'd prefer it. I see behind the scenes what an enormous amount of work it takes to raise money to survive. The Meander is a river in Asia Minor aka Turkey. It's not something you read looking for a specific answer, and feel cheated if you don't have to work harder.

And they have for so long that by now the US car industry there is a connection between economic inequality and risk. Mainly because it's easier to read than a regular article. It was not till I was in Africa last year and saw a lot of time trying to learn how to predict which startups will succeed. And certainly Dickens himself would be more surprising if they didn't. Let's rehearse the chain of argument so far. And there has been a qualitative change in the last 10 years. If we could look into the past. They get away with maltreating developers, in the sense of making a single thing. Though indeed, it's been a while since they were three just because serving web pages recently got a lot cheaper. But after the talking is done, the decision about what to do, most kids have been thoroughly misled about the idea of work finally broke free from the idea of letting founders partially cash out, let me tell them something still more frightening: you are now competing directly with Google.

One of my first drawing teachers told me: As a result of their process, the App Store does not give me the drive to develop applications as I would like. He knows the world; she knows, or at any rate adjust your conclusions so you're not claiming anything false 6 of 8 subjects had lower blood pressure after the treatment. That may seem a frivolous reason to choose one language over another. That's why fundraising and the enterprise market kill and maim so many startups. That's the only rational explanation for focusing on getting internships at companies they want to do more with a startup than just start it. Civilization always seems old, because for a startup: a founder quits, you discover a patent that covers what you're doing; even if you're never called on to solve advanced problems, you can safely talk to them, and they'll say the same thing. Words seem to work, just as newspapers that put their stories online still seem to wish people would wait till the next morning and read them printed on paper. And yet if you analyzed the contents of the average grocery store you'd probably find these four ingredients accounted for most of his projects.

But it's harder, because now you're working against social customs instead of with them. What surprised me the most is that everything was actually fairly predictable! You can't replace those. Some might say it's part of science, but it's not part of any specific science; it's literally meta-physics in our sense of meta. But is that more important than others? Instead you should draw a few quick lines in roughly the right place, and I've now realized it. If you're small, they don't have a problem with acquisitions is that they get paid up front. That kind of work the recipe is in big companies is toxic to programmers. At first we thought it might be good to be precise about what we want. I want to do it: give money to the poor, you have graphs showing rising revenue or traffic month after month, you don't need to know about M & A conversations can be like nothing you've experienced in the otherwise comparatively upstanding world of Silicon Valley. When founders seem unfocused, I sometimes suggest they try to force you to treat a question on their terms by asking are you with us or against us?

[evakfanficsrecs]

EVAK FANFICTION RECS / PART 11

Hi loves! So 2 weeks passed and I’m back with another part of my long-ass Evak fanfiction recs series, hooray! I never know what else to write here, so I’ll just shut up for now. All the fics can be found under the cut. Happy reading!

As always, the list is divided into oneshots and chaptered fics. My personal favorites are tagged with a “ ★ ”. Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “ ✓ ”

*

ONESHOTS:

du lyser opp rommet (you light up the room) by hippopotamus ★ Summary: roommates!au; Isak has never told his roommate Even that he's scared of the dark, but Even finds out anyway when there's a powercut. (He's also never told his roommate Even that he has a huge crush on him.)

kissing you, loving you by isakhoney Summary: Isak and Even and kisses that aren't just on the mouth. Mostly not on the mouth.

Even's World by Skamzombie Summary: After the events of the last clip of season 4 episode 5. Isak has been hurt and Even thinks it's his fault.

let's go somewhere they might discover us (sometimes it's better when it's publicly) by highpraises Summary: Even and Isak fuck in a classroom.

Stop the world I wanna get off with you by LostInAdmiration ★ Summary: "Sometimes, it felt like they were worlds away from the people they were when they first met, both lost in their different ways and searching for their places in the world. They had come so far from that, become so much stronger, and finally had both feet firmly on the ground most of the time. But then sometimes, on a day like this, where they were curled up together sharing slow, lazy kisses, with Isak’s fingernails leaving half-moon imprints in Even’s skin, and Even’s hands buried in Isak’s hair, it felt as though no time had passed at all."

Real Eyes by SuddenTempest Summary: soulmates!au; Where everyone is born with heterochromia - your right eye is your own natural eye colour but your left is the colour of your soulmate's. It is only once that you meet and recognize your own eye staring back at you that your eyes change to match. Or, Isak has been having money problems. Even just lost his job. What happens when both of them meet in a very non-professional fashion and realise that they're each other's soulmates?

it's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that i hold (but tonight i'm gonna let you know) by eatthatup ★ Summary: Isak loves it, but he loves pleasing Even even more. So, he decides, what could be better than giving him a lap dance?

take you to where the sun shines, cast shadows on your face (crawl into their deepest recess,'til i freeze or dehydrate) by vesperthine Summary: They drag themselves up the stairs, and Even closes the door behind them; enveloping them both in the shadows ( – the familiar smell, dust, home – ) of the hallway. At the far end, that grey light is spilling in from the kitchen, and it’s just enough to make out the silhouette of Isak’s throat as he swallows.This is the aftermath, then; adrenaline sublimated and only the pieces and shivers left in its wake.

the best is over and the worst is yet to come by evenbec Summary: He keeps walking forward step by step, until he isn't. Suddenly, all Isak knows is white noise. He doesn't know what's going on around him. Can't feel Even’s hand in his any longer. His eyes are out of focus, and his brain is short circuiting.Or, A Post Fight Fic.

Taking Care by oldskamish Summary: Even takes care of a sick Isak for the first time. Then it's Isak's turn to take care of his boyfriend.

Touch It by nofeartina Summary: The first kiss makes everything go quiet in his head. It’s easy to be courageous here; surrounded by water, no sounds coming through. Just him and Even. Just this storm in his head, butterflies in his stomach, that immediately quiets when he gets his lips on Even’s. Or, five times that Isak is overwhelmed by Even, and one time it is the other way around.

other lives and dimensions and finally a love poem by elspethelf Summary: "Marry me," Isak says. Even almost drops the can of tuna he's holding.

Who Wouldn't Want It (When He Looks Like That) by CouldBeBlue Summary: “They can’t see you, but they could hear you, baby,” Even whispers in his ear, pressing two fingers against Isak’s lips. “You’d like that, yeah? All those students in the courtyard hearing you beg me to fuck you?”

Every step of the way by Tchell1 Summary: “I snapped.” Even started “That’s what happened at Bakka. I snapped and wrote all these parts of the Qur'an over the school walls.” He opened his eyes to meet Isak’s, almost daring him to stop the words. Isak would never not allow Even to speak, though “The words were full of hate. I splashed the wall with all the parts where it said being gay was a terrible sin and all homosexuals were going to hell.”

Waiting Room by sasnill Summary: He remembered a sick, frightened noise coming out of his own throat and Even saying, "We'll be there soon. We'll be there soon," as Isak's footsteps weaved from side to side across the path. - A long night.

you love when love hurts by thekardemomme ★ Summary: The one in which The Black Eye Galaxy finds its way onto Isak's face.

you bring me home by hippopotamus Summary: Even comes home to find Isak listening to Harry Styles' album.

ten & twelve by fleurbleue Summary: childhood friends!au; 10-year old Isak doesn't like 12-year old Even being so tall (maybe he does, but Even and his ego didn't need to know that).

in the place of you and me by DarkBeauty_890 ★ Summary: “Can I tell you a secret?” Even murmurs, tracing mindless patterns- zig zags and hearts and stars and infinity signs- up and down Isak’s bare back. He circles freckles and counts them, adding them to his never ending tally of things to know about Isak. Isak snuffles sleepily, “Mmhmm.” “You have made me happier in less than a year, than I think I have been in my entire life.” Eyes flicker open, hazy green; beautiful and open, “Ditto.”

Handcuff Your Way To My Heart by sugarbeat24 Summary: Isak and Even work at Buzzfeed and are roped into doing a video together. Lots of "oh my gods" and eyerolls ensue.

you've been scared of love (and what it did to you) by dreamocacy Summary: soulmates!au; Sure, almost everyone in Nissen have their soulmates, but they don't exist, not to Isak. Because Isak doesn't have one.

Isak is a hermit until Even happens by cloudowl Summary: magic!au; Isak lives in a cot in the middle of nowhere. He makes potions, cares for the plants and animals of the forest and makes the best brew there is in the land. Jonas likes to visit and to call him a hermit but that is about to change when Even one day shows up at his cot.

Taste of Love by bashfulisak Summary: Isak is obsessed with Even's lips and Even knows it.

I Just Want To Say I Love You by sugarbeat24 Summary: The 3 times Isak tries to tell Even he loves him with a grand romantic gesture and the 1 time he tries something different and succeeds.

on the verge, now submerge, i'm your church by highpraises Summary: Even has a huge dick. They fuck in his parents' house.

the boyfriend experience by diamondjacket ★ Summary: The point is: Even is great. Even is perfect. So perfect, in fact, that the alarming and ever-growing disparity between them, in terms of boyfriend-ing, has become impossible to ignore. Try as he might to talk himself down, Isak can’t quite stop that ugly fear from gnawing at him—the fear that Even will wake up one day and suddenly realize, fuck, why in God’s name am I doing all this work for a smelly, socially awkward slob with no money and no skills and Dorito crumbs in his bed? Or: Isak decides he's gonna boyfriend the hell out of Even. It does not go to plan.

gratulerer med dagen by isakhoney Summary: Wealthy boy Even's family is hosting a reception for constitutional day. He meets beautiful and bashful Isak, a waiter in traditional clothing. He takes him to his room, makes him sit on his lap.

sweet dreams turns into fucking in the morning by highpraises ★ Summary: “Can’t exactly touch you now, can I?” he points out the obvious, but of course Isak already knows that. He’s the one who fucking tied Even up while asleep in the first place.Isak giggles and pecks Even softly on the tip of his nose. “Just lie back and enjoy, Ev. I’m doing all the work this morning.” Or, Even wakes up to a surprise on the morning of his graduation.

I Ain't Never Did This Before, No by evenkosegruppa Summary: 'Soooo, you don't have to answer this but, you ever had sex before?' Isak and Even have maths together and they send notes in class.

for you by thekardemomme Summary: Isak and Even return to the karaoke bar.

take my hand (take my whole life too) by eatthatup ★ Summary: Isak loves holding Even's hand.

eleven & thirteen by fleurbleue Summary: childhood friends!au; Even has a fever, Isak plays doctor.

This Minute by XioNin Summary: It's 21:21 on the 21st, and Isak feels... something.

A Thousand Steps by riyku Summary: There are about a hundred reasons why this is a bad idea and one reason why it's a great one.

Take Your Time by Masterless Summary: “Isak,” Even started when they got onto the tram. He sat next to his boyfriend, letting Isak rest his head on his shoulder. “I should tell you something.” “You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not ready,” Isak replied, his voice soft, almost not even there. Even rested his head on top of Isak’s. “I really should tell you, though. It’s something that I did and it’s affected a lot.”

Intense by nhasablog ★ Summary: Even’s hand found his chin and then his cheek, pulling his head closer so that their gazes met again. He was smiling. “Stop turning away from me.” Isak didn’t reply, because he knew Even wasn’t expecting it anyway. He bumped their noses together instead, relishing in the way Even looked at him, for while it made him want to run away it also made him want to never look away. (Or, Even’s gaze is almost too intense for Isak to keep looking at him, but he never wants it to stop.)

baby, it's our moment, let's enjoy it by potterskam Summary: Four times Even realizes that 21:21 is their moment + one time Isak realizes it and posts it in Instagram.

du er ikke alene.du er ikke alene. du vil aldri være alene igjen. by RedLights Summary: Isak is feeling hurt and broken and alone and Even letting him know that he's never alone. (Post 4.06 Clip #1)

there's only so much a dandelion can do by cuddlesevak Summary: Even kneels down next to a group of tiny yellow flowers (dandelions, he thinks, although he's not that sure) and grabs one, going back up and looking at his boyfriend with the brightest smile. "Still waiting for an answer" he says, looking confused. "You're so pretty, you know that?"

You Know I'd Walk A Thousand Miles by pressurerin Summary: A plague breaks out and claims half of the world's population. Even and Isak get separated.  

The Adventures of the Snapback by littlemovie (Lejla) ★ Summary: The guy raised his eyebrows, when Isak had not said anything for quite a while, a faux innocent expression on his face, which brought Isak back to the present. “That’s my snapback!” Yeah okay, Isak could have eased a bit better into the conversation instead of yelling in the guy’s face. If possible, the guy’s brows climbed even higher on his forehead. “Excuse me?” Isak could feel the blush spreading from his chest to his cheeks. “I mean.. yeah, that’s my snapback and I want it back.” The guy grinned, “I really don’t think so.”

Veilchen by colazitron Summary: A dandelion's marginally better than a black eye.

You are in Love by pressurerin ★ Summary: Even is so in love with Isak. Isak feels the same.

ivory by evenvaltersen Summary: "Would that make you relax? A nice orgasm?" Isak nods, curling up impossibly closer to Even and Even almost wants to cry at the softness of it all, at how tiny and snuggly Isak looks in that pink, too big hoodie. "Alright, baby. How do you want it?" Or: Isak's stressed. Fingering makes him calm down.

breathe (don't you let that heartbeat fall) by argentae Summary: “Hey, do you want to come over to our place this Friday so we can work on our presentation after school? And that dinner invitation still stands,” Isak says. “I promise I won’t even touch the food, so no need to worry about that.” (Alternatively: biology buddies make a presentation, Even makes great food and Sana talks.)

Veilchen by colazitron Summary: A dandelion's marginally better than a black eye.

show me with your body baby by yourelectriclove Summary: It's wild and careless but they don't care, he doesn't care when Even pulls down his boxers completely, he doesn't care when the darkness is slowly fading to light as the sun comes up and the birds start chirping, all he cares about is Even's hands on him, on his body, touching him, fucking him, loving him.

high for this by theyellowcurtains Summary: married!au; Isak’s heart stopped hearing his name said aloud for the first time. He never thought it would feel so good to have Even’s last name. He leaned his head on the taller mans shoulder, sighing contently. “Okay boys! I’ll just get you your key card. Just a second!” Once alone Isak whispered ‘Mannen i mitt liv” to his Even before kissing his cheek and pulling him closer. AKA: Evak's wedding night.

blow out all the candles by tarjeiandhenrik ★ Summary: It's Eskild's birthday, Even works at a cake shop and Isak doesn't know how to make tea.

aren't you something to admire by highpraises Summary: “Do you see how that mirror is pointed towards us?” he asks calmly. Isak looks to the side for a second, taking in the mirror, then back at Even and nods, a flush already starting to form on his cheeks. He’s so beautiful, pale skin and soft hair, curling behind his ears and spread out somewhat against the duvet. He’s a sweet little thing, pale but glowing. He looks like an angel. Or, Even fucks Isak in front of a mirror.

you in those little high-waisted shorts (both your hands in the holes of my sweater) by hidefromeveryone Summary: Isak went into Forever 21 with a mission. He left with a cute boy's phone number scrawled on his hand, and lipstick smeared on his cheek.

The Abstract Art of Affection by readwritesleep ★ Summary: photographer!Even; Isak gets to know Even as an artist before he gets to know him as a person, but he is quickly taking a liking to the man behind the camera. After all, art means risk, and balancing on the edge has always been a good way to get to know a person.

It Has a Balcony by sasnill Summary: "We could get our own place," Isak said, the thoughts forming simultaneous to them pouring from his mouth. "Because - I mean, we kind of live together now, and Noora's been sleeping on the couch for months, which... that's really nice of her, but - so if she didn't have to do that anymore, that would be..." Even kissed him.When they broke apart, faces pressed together so that Isak could feel Even's breath on his lips, he said, "Would you want to?" Even laughed. He said, "Yes, I'd want to," and kissed Isak again. So they do.

don’t you worry there my honey by sonhoedesrazao Summary: “Did you have fun with Sana?” Even asks when they break apart.

we were made for garden by stomatoconveniencestore ★ Summary: When Eskild announces he's about to star in a documentary, Isak doesn't pay him much attention. But once he accidentally gets involved himself, it's not only the film he starts to care about, but also its director.

Good For You by nofeartina Summary: “Do that again,” Even says and Isak can’t help but comply. Isak is powerless against anything Even asks of him, especially when he asks like that. Or, The Nipple Play-fic that nobody asked for.

Watch Me Now by sleepinggiant Summary: soulmates!au; Isak is letting himself be happy with his soulmate, which is why he decides to open up to his friends about Even. (sequel to A State of Mind)

rolling on and on, sounds of love are in the air by highpraises Summary: They've never done it like this before, and the sight is truly remarkable. Isak’s torso is all slim and small, his waist and hips so tiny, and his face is, god, he just looks like he's already been fucked for an hour. His pupils are blown and his lips are puffy and his hair's a mess and he's gorgeous and he's going to ride Even’s dick. God. Or, Isak's first time riding dick.

busted and blue by theyellowcurtains Summary: Even finally told Isak about how his last year at Bakka went down. Isak reacts very differently from how Even expected him to.

Turn Off Your Phone by i_once_wrote_a_dream Summary: “Turn off your phone, baby,” he whispers into Isak’s neck. The harsh light from the screen still glares at them, but he can see Isak’s grip loosen and he just has to push a little more.

Blossom by LostInAdmiration ★ Summary: “That’s because she doesn’t know you like I do,” Even mumbled into Isak’s skin. “No?” Isak sighed back as Even pressed a kiss onto his temple, before moving down to his cheek, and then even further, peppering kisses all along his jaw. “Nope. You’re kind, and you’re smart, and handsome too. And you deserve much better than her.” Even punctuated each word with a kiss, as if he could press each compliment into Isak’s skin, so that it could bury itself inside of Isak, and always be there as a reminder of just how wonderful Even knew he was.

CHAPTERED:

Will You Be My Best Man? by bashfulisak ✓ Summary: Even asks Isak to be his best man at his wedding and Isak falls apart as he pushes away the undeniable connection between him and Even all while trying to be happy, but that too falls and shatters come the wedding.

Before and After by XioNin ✓ Summary: Even's thoughts before and after the karaoke party.

it's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right by mmxii ★ ✓ Summary: childhood friends!au; Even suddenly stops and just looks at him for a few seconds. Then he says it. “You’re my best friend, you know. Always have been, always will be.”

Guru Knows Best by StMisery ✓ Summary: neighbors!au; Isak grumps, and Eskild schemes. But it's all in the name of love. For their gorgeous new neighbour (and a little for each other too). Even moves into the apartment across the hall, and Isak's just trying to make it another day without dying of embarrassment.

Home Is Wherever I'm With You by cuteandtwisted ★ Summary: travel!au; “Hi. I’m Even and I don’t usually walk around in nothing but a towel.” “Uh, I'm Isak.” “Isak. Mind if I kidnap you for some fun sightseeing activities?” Or Isak and Even keep meeting in hostels all around the world and never exchanging contact information.

The Notion of Falling by smokeshop ★ ✓ Summary: HateToLove!au; Isak hates Even and Even hates Isak and Sana is the only one who knows why.

Things Look Different in the Morning by allyasavedtheday ★ ✓ Summary: roomates!au & uni!au; “So,” he says, drawing the word out. “I told Even he could stay here.”Isak blinks, convinced he’s misheard. “Eskild,” he says flatly. “We don’t have a spare room.” Eskild straightens his back, expression turning sheepish. “That’s the other part…I was thinking he could stay in your room?” * In which Even needs a place to stay, kollektivet gains a new roommate, and Isak just really wants to sleep.

Golden boy by lost_in_the_maze Summary: Hogwarts!au; Even's time at Hogwarts is rudely interrupted by the most beautiful boy he has ever laid eyes upon and he loves it.Isak's a veela and he's enjoying it especially now all his mates have transferred and he's captured the attentions of tall ravenclaw second year.

surrounded by eight of the most beautiful, crazy-ass mother fuckers the world has ever seen by traumatic Summary: Isak gets sent to a group for anxiety sufferers. The boy who sits across from him makes him feel positively electric. Or, where everyone's fucked up, Isak is living in his past, Even stares a lot, and, sometimes, talking about your problems actually helps.

You Illuminate the Sky by antiscian Summary: “Isak, why did Even Bech Næsheim post a picture of you on his Instagram?” “Even who?” Or: The one in which Even shares pictures of a mysterious boy he keeps seeing in the city and Isak turns out to be said boy.

Membership Dues by Sabeley ★ ✓ Summary: fraternity!au; Isak is pledging Even's fraternity. Even keeps having to be reminded that he's not allowed to date the pledges. "It's a ten-week pledge period. How hard could it be?" Famous last words.

Summer Lovin', Happened So Fast by evenkosegruppa Summary: neighbors!au; AU in where Isak lives near the beach and he and his friends refer to Even as the "guy that broke Isak's heart when he was fourteen."

Oppfordre (Nerve) by Evenbechbaesheim ✓ Summary: Nerve!au; After everything that went on last year, Isak's really just trying to keep his head down and cling onto the few friendships he's managed to maintain. Eva still hates him, and he doesn't blame her for a second. In Isak's head, he really is the villain of her story. He probably deserves everything that's coming to him.And then Oppfordre starts.It's just a silly game. A dumb app that makes you do dares for money, using online popularity as a driving force. Isak isn't interested. Not even remotely. Then he notices the new boy across the schoolyard. (Based on the 2016 Mystery/Crime Thriller Nerve.)

worth everything ever wished for by idariverman Summary: Every day at exactly 18.11, Isak steps on the tram. Every day at exactly 18.15, a mysterious boy steps on it as well, and he seems to enjoy making Isak squirm.

your heart is a masterpiece (and i'll keep it safe) by glowatlast Summary: They have been living together for a year. Even is now an art student and Isak is in third year. Or, Even loves drawing literally anything (preferably Isak), and Isak loves talking about weird theories, watching Christopher Nolan movies, and his boyfriend.

love and healing by evenbakkas ★ Summary: fake dating!au & uni!au; Isak is angry. He’s fucking pissed, and he’s suddenly seeing red, because his ex fucking took his heart and stomped on it until it was left in pieces, and he doesn’t get to do this to Isak after all the shit he’s pulled. So, before the guy can answer, Isak smiles curtly and says, “He’s my boyfriend.” Or: A Fake dating!AU where Isak goes grocery shopping and meets an attractive stranger in a jean jacket who ends up leaving as his fake boyfriend.

when you grow up, your heart dies by TheMousePrince Summary: The Breakfast Club!au; Sana, Isak, Even, Eva, and Vilde are spending the Saturday in detention. Shenanigans, romance, rebellion, and growing up ensues.

you are my life (i don't deserve you) by thekardemomme Summary: 20-something ways they said I love you.

Sees Hjemme by incorporealspike Summary: AU in which Noora never leaves to go to London, and Isak finds himself in a new shared apartment. And his new roommates? Not who you're expecting.

I'll Be Coming Home, Wait For Me by dahlstrom ★ ✓ Summary: The diner AU. Even and Yousef open a 1950s American-style restaurant together - Even is the creative genius in the kitchen, Yousef keeps the trains running on time, and Isak, Chris B, and Magnus are all along for the ride. Falling in love over food while Elvis serenades from the jukebox. Welcome to the Throwback Diner.

Hurts so good by sayyestothis ✓ Summary: "Even, this is all I have wanted for my 18th birthday since like, forever. Except for you." Isak rolls his eyes. “Are you seriously comparing me to a piercing? Wow, I’m flattered.” Even laughs, his eyes squinting. “Two things I’d like to have in my mouth, can’t see what’s wrong with it”, Isak shrugs. Or: Isak gets a tongue piercing. Even tries to be supportive. Keyword: tries.

These Mountains To Move by verlore_poplap Summary: soulmates!au; In one month, two weeks and four days at exactly 21:21 on Sunday, June 21st, 2015 - Isak Valtersen will turn sixteen years old and the name of his soulmate will appear on his wrist...

Pale polaroids. by echosofdawn  Summary: Isak is weird. His friends don't understand him. No one understands him. His childhood traumas are always there, under his skin, in his brain and are constantly cracking his heart. He can't have any more pain. He wouldn't be able to bear it. Even knows this. He knows it perfectly well. But human emotions can't be controlled.

[finiarels]

The Art of Lying [4/4]

To celebrate Shiraishi Mai’s upcoming birthday I will update this story every two days leading up to the day

Pair: Shiraishi Mai x Terada Ranze & Shiraishi Mai x Nishino Nanase

Summary:

Through her lies filled life, Shiraishi Mai ponders upon the three rules she had set for perfecting her lie to see where she did wrong.

Read on JPH!P or Wattpad

Epilogue

Picking herself up after the tour ends were the hardest thing Mai had ever been through. For a while, she doesn’t feel like going out, her vision spins whenever she saw photographers and people crowding her, her brain couldn’t form any answer whenever someone asked her something.

Various people had come to visit her, only a few of them she let inside though. These people are basically her family, her best friend, and also Terada Ranze. The ex-girlfriend was somehow able to spend an entire day watching Netflix with her and Sayuri- whom the newly turned 20 years old started dating about 8 months after the end of their relationship. But none of them was able to drag her to face the world once more. Not when she is just merely a shell of what she was before.

Sayuri was the one who suggested that she should take a break.

Her father was actually the one who had helped the most, one day the famous producer came to her apartment, opened her laptop, and created a new blank document.

“I think you should try to write.”

At first, Mai had rolled her eyes, retorting that she is not a writer. But her father chuckled at the response.

“Everyone can write. Whether the other perceives it as good or not is another matter, that’s a perspective. That’s why it is a form of art.”

After basically been haunted by that words for several days, Mai finally decided to put an end to it and started writing. It was mostly influenced by everything she has experienced, everything she wanted to fix, and everything she could have done. By the time she is finished and show it to her father, the guy smiled and ruffled her hair.

“Now, I can teach you a thing or two about producing and directing.”

The thing about her father is when he is set to do something he would be really pushy and most of the times unbearable. But this case is a good one and exactly what Mai needed. Being behind the camera has offered her both a fresh start and also a new perspective. Which is a key to slowly push her back and remind her to take the enjoyment of what she is doing.

And after 3 years of struggle, she wrapped it all up. Soon enough, her project was getting picked up by distinguished film festivals all over the world, getting a nod of approval from critics and film executives.

The night where she got a nomination for best screenwriting was the first night for her to publicly out in the spotlight after years. It was strange as if she just realise how everything is different when you don’t really need to keep up with a lie. It’s easier.

And on that night, she was honoured with her second golden statue.

But when she stood on the stage, looking through the huge hall, slowly taking in the audience attention and gulping down her nervousness. Mai decided to not reach for the written notes on her pants pocket.

“You see, the first time I stood here, being honoured with this beautiful golden trophy, I was so surprised that I just read through the note that was prepared for me. It was really bad, as monotonous as 8 years old reading textbook out loud for the classroom,” Mai chuckled followed by a laugh of approval that seems to echo in the hall.

“I wrote The Art of Lying when I was at my lowest. At that time, I wasn’t able to imagine or even set any goal to have it become anywhere near where it is now.” Mai smiled a little. “The title is actually an interesting one and in fact, it was the first thing that our leading actress- the wonderful Hashimoto Nanami had asked me after she read the script. The answer to that is simple, lying is another kind of art. It has this element where it strives to achieve perfection yet it never does as people have different perception about it.”

Mai looks at the statue on her hand, chuckling softly with pride mixed with irony. She remembered the moment she had found out that she is among the nomination list, she had thought that maybe that’s what she’s been looking for- acknowledgement, people nodding at her in acceptance.

But somehow she still doesn’t feel complete.

“The thing is I consider myself a horrible liar. Well, I think some people will think that I just told a lie but actually that’s the truth. My main problem with a lie is not about how I’m bad at keeping people from figuring out, but rather I’m bad because the lie usually caught up with me, clouding my judgement, severing the bonds I have formed with the people that I care about.

When a lie hurts everyone you love when it is so disastrous that even yourself is getting hurt in the process, that’s when you should realise that it’s time to stop to strive for that perfection. And just like what happened in the film, I should have realised that much sooner, I really do.

So I want to say an apology towards everyone that I have lied to whether you realise or not. Also thank you to everyone who had helped to make this film happened, my wonderful father, all the cast and crew, my best friend. I wouldn’t be here now if not for you guys.”

Mai bowed for several seconds, smiling widely as she heard the applause that filled the area.

After that, she had to go through the same ordeal just like the first time. The press complicated questions, the many congratulations, Sayuri trying to lead her on what to do next because she still looks as lost as she was before.

But that day, in the room they had provided for her to freshen up behind the stage, someone she did not expect was also waiting.

“Ah- I think I should check whether they need you to do something else soon or not,” the manager made a lame excuse and fled from the room, leaving Mai alone with the girl.

“Hey,” Mai greeted awkwardly, averting her gaze seconds after the time their eyes met.

“Congrats.” The other one replied, eyes directed to the statue in her hand, “and the speech too. It was beautiful.”

“Really? I thought you weren’t even in the audience.” Her mouth seems to answer that in reflex. She cursed herself, realising that she had just gotten a chance to redo her response to the girl’s praise and she still messed it up pretty-badly. “I- I mean you’re supposed to be presenting soon so I figured you’d be here. I mean somewhere backstage instead.”

She hopes that explanation will suffice to avert the suspicion that she was looking for the other actress from the stage.

“Ah I saw you from behind the curtain,” she explained. “I’m glad to see you doing well.”

“You too.”

“I heard about what happened to you. Even Sayurin-san and Ranze-san had personally asked me to check up on you, but I did nothing. For that, I owe you an apology.”

“It’s okay, I didn’t know what I would do either if you actually came to visit me. I wasn’t really myself at all and I’m glad that at least I can live knowing that you didn’t see me at that state.” Mai muttered as she took a deep breath.

Seeing how awkward the situation is, the other started to think that maybe she is overstaying her welcome and make her way towards the door, “Okay I guess that’s all, I mean I just wanted to drop by and congratulate you.”

“Nanase, wait!”

Nishino Nanase turned to look at her once more, patiently waiting for what she is about to say.

“I want to apologise, back then I didn’t tell you the truth.” Mai sighed bracing herself before saying the next sentence. “I lied to you about not knowing that you’re about to call the relationship off and I tricked you into sleeping with me just because my own inability to sort out my feelings.”

“The situation was- difficult. I can understand.” Nishino gave her a little understanding smile, her foot strode a step away from her.

“Please, let me give you a very late explanation.” She catches Nanase’s hand and begged. “Back then I wasn’t ready to forgive myself for breaking another girls heart. I had this foolish thought that what we had between is a plain lust, I thought that after we slept together I’d see that my attraction to you was nothing more than a person wanting to go all the way for a one-night stand.

But turns out I was wrong.

My problem is that not only I was falling in love with you, but I had also thought that you’re less than you actually are. I found out that it was your first time and I was scared to take the step. It was frightening, realising that I have hurt someone who cares more about what we had than what I think.

I was too afraid to seek forgiveness and I wasn’t even ready to forgive myself for I’ve done. That’s why I say nothing even though I should have stopped you that day and let you know the truth.

And for that I’m sorry”

“It’s okay. It was partly my fault as well, I wasn’t exactly being clear with you about what I felt for you. Even now.” Nanase’s soft smile still doesn’t leave her lips. “You know what, back then I was falling in love with you, and the possibility that you felt the same clouded my judgement. When you did what you did, I was heartbroken, I stopped myself from helping you out of your struggle- thinking that maybe that’s what I need to move on, yet somehow it doesn’t stop me from loving you.”

Mai expression looks sad, “It’s hard for me to believe that you actually feel that way- especially now.”

“But that what makes me love you even more. Because you’re such a good person you failed to see that beneath this façade there is a gentle person who can care more about others that it comes off as selfless.” Nanase sighed, the gentle smile still lingers. “The person who dares to risk her relationship to help her family, this person also tried to ease me from the stage fright, nor she back down from her promises just because her heart was broken.”

Deep inside her heart, Mai knows that now it the time for her to come clean too, especially after the confession. Her gaze moved down below, where her hand still holding the other girl’s. Softly, she let her go, taking a step back before bowing towards her.

“Nanase, I also still do- love you.”

She couldn’t hear anything coming from the other girl, so she decided to continue.

“I know that what I did to you was beyond terrible but I hope you will give me chance to make it up to you. This time, there won’t be no lie, no act, just me as a person who loves you.” Mai stands straight once more to meet her gaze. “What do you say?”

Nanase intertwines their fingers together, leaning forward to land a kiss on Mai’s cheek, “yes.”

At that moment, Shiraishi Mai found it funny how a person would realise how much a lie affect their life even after it ends. If only she hadn't lie- if only she let Nanase know the truth before they had gone all the way, she would have found the missing piece of her life sooner.

But that lie, is also what shapes her to be the person she is now. A person who can live to tell the story of what kind of disaster a person life could be once they started to get tangled in their own web of lies.

At the end of a tunnel, there is a light.

And for Shiraishi Mai, Nishino Nanase is her light.

~FIN~

[justaglasscreature]

My Story

Hey Charlotte,

I love what your doing with this community project and I can't pass up the opportunity to take part. I've elected to share what I have to say with you via email because going into this, I have no idea what I'm going to say, but I've promised myself to be completely honest and hold nothing back, and I don't know how personal it's going to get. Maybe I'll share it publicly on Patreon afterwards, or maybe not. Either way, here goes...

I suppose a good place to start would be the story of how I came to find you, who and where I was in the moments before, and just why it is that you and your work have come to mean so much to me. And if it seems like I'm starting to get off topic, forgive me, I promise I'll get to the point eventually.

But I grew up in the church. For my whole life, God and religion and Christianity were always a really big part of my reality, but especially so after I moved to Panama City when I was about to turn 15. And maybe in my tone, when I write and speak about this time, I say it like it's a bad thing, and I don't mean to come across that way. Because I truly loved it. When my father, sister and I moved here while my mother stayed behind to keep her job and maintain an income until we got settled, the three of us made a plan to take two months and try out four different churches in the new town, two weeks apiece, and decide which one to make our home out of. Halfway through the first week of the first church, we all looked at each other and said, "This is it; we've found it." 

And for the next two years, it was our home. I felt that I belonged and I felt a part of something. Something that explained the world around me and made sense out of difficult questions. Something that gave me purpose and meaning, and told me that I was priceless, worth dying for even. During this time, the youth ministry was extremely important to me. The majority of my friends were people that I knew from there, and the youth pastor became almost like a second father to me. I sought his wisdom on issues that troubled my heart and we navigated them together. It was one of the closest relationships I had known until that point.

And then disaster struck.

The youth pastor (who I don't mind calling by name in this context, considering how far removed you are from everyone involved; his name was xxxxxx.) had two young daughters. One was brand new, probably less than a year old, and the other was three. One thing that's important to know is that up until this point, I was very good with children, and everyone knew that. I loved them and they loved me. One of the things that I spent a large portion of my time on in the church was serving in the children's ministry: teaching Bible stories and leading arts and crafts, or even just looking after the young ones in the nursery. xxxxxx's 3 year old daughter and I had somewhat of a relationship. She was a very shy child and had taken almost the entire 2 years to come around, but was beginning to open up and interact and play with me within the last several months. 

On the night of Dec 19, 2014, a Friday, the high school students in the youth were having a Christmas party at the home of one of the families in the church. We had held several events there in the past, and it wasn't uncommon for me to arrive a little early and keep the little ones occupied while the adults set things up to get ready. This night was no exception, and the youth pastor's daughter and I set into our routine of playing with the toy kitchen set that she adored. She'd serve me plastic pizza and cookies, and I'd hide them behind my back when she wasn't looking and I'd go on and on about how yummy it all was. As it happened, the toy kitchen set was back in another room, and it wasn't out of the ordinary for us to go back there to play. No one batted an eye, and xxxxxx would walk back occasionally to be sure that everything was going well. 

On one such occasion, he came back to check on things, saw something that he misinterpreted, and quickly said that it was time to do something else. The rest of the night, he acted normally and all seemed well. Then the next Tuesday, two days before Christmas, my father called me. He said that he had left work early and was on his way to pick me up from the house because he'd received a phone call and I was expected at the Sheriff's office for some questions. Neither of us knew what it was about, but it sounded serious.

When I got there, I was told that xxxxxx had turned in a complaint, and had accused me of making inappropriate advances on this young child. And I'm hesitant to tell people about this because even though nothing came of it legally, and even though I could explain the entire thing, sometimes accusations alone do more to a reputation than uncovering the truth. 

In the coming weeks, a chain of events unfolded, and a number of people handled situations in ways that I would come to hold against them for a period of time during the following years. At the end of it all, it was determined that no legal charges would be pressed, and I was cleared on that front, but it was decided that it would no longer be appropriate for my family to attend or in any way make contact with the church that had become our home.

And what's important about this is timing. Because like I said, I came to xxxxxx about issues that were heavy on my heart, and he was my mentor. And only a couple of weeks before all this started, I had come to him and said that I was questioning my faith as a whole. I had realized that I only believed what I did because I always had, because my parents did, because when I was young it wasn't presented to me as belief, but as fact and I was never given a choice. I told him that I had never independently chosen to accept my beliefs and for the first time in my life, I felt that they weren't my own. And at the time, that frightened me. We had just agreed to meet regularly and to discuss these things from a theistic point of view, and then suddenly he was gone.

At first, this felt like a terrible loss. After a month or two, my family finally found a new church, but I never settled into it. During that time, I continued to question my faith, beginning down a path that would lead be to leave it behind entirely. 

Right about here is where you come in. It was early summer of 2015, some months after these events, and I was still struggling to come to grips. I found myself confused about the world around me, and locked in a hellish fight with anxiety, panic attacks, and a constant state of unease. I had just discovered Spotify and spent most of my time listening to music on it (I still do). I loved to discover new music by going artist by artist, and looking at the "similar artists" page and clicking one after the other after the other until I found myself listening to something completely different from where I started. One day I did this, starting with a favorite band of mine named Sigur Ros. After about an hour and a half, I was listening to an artist named Melissa Horn. I'd always loved listening to music in other languages, that way I could hear a song and have only the emotion come through, leaving me to project my own personal significance onto it. But I'd never heard anyone sing in Swedish. Her voice, though, was so beautiful and so soft and connected so deeply with something within me that I waited two weeks for a used CD to be shipped to me from a young man in China because I couldn't find it anywhere else. 

At the time, I was much more active on Twitter than I am now, and that July, I sent out a tweet, saying something to the effect of  "I don't care if you don't speak Swedish, I don't either, but everyone needs to listen to this album right now." An hour later, a notification appeared, saying that the tweet had been liked by this random person calling herself The Glass Child. I ignored it at first, and that was nearly that. Later in the day, I became curious over who it was, and investigated the twitter account. When I saw "songwriter" in the description, I scoffed and said hmph, I've never heard of you. I opened my trusty Spotify, expecting there to be no such thing as an artist called The Glass Child, and to walk away laughing. I found you though, and that was a turning point in my story. After listening to the first 10 seconds of a couple of songs, quickly browsing through, I put on a pair of headphones to listen more closely, and I pushed play on a little song called Heroes. 

In minutes, I was speechless. In that moment, I felt so small. Here was a boy alone in his grandfather's workshop while the old man was inside napping, tears welling in his eyes at the words of an artist he didn't believe existed moments before. After having spent months asking myself where to turn, what to believe, and who to follow, I stumbled on the first answer that seemed viable. xxxxxx wasn't enough anymore. My father wasn't enough anymore. The shell of a god that I had put to rest was no longer enough. I was being told then and there to follow the heroes, who're telling me to walk on on my own. That as long as I am moving, I'm right on the path I make. That I'm right where I belong. I made my own path, and I followed only those heroes whom I chose to follow. It took me quite some time to find any others, but I immediately had one hero to follow. And it was a brave little soul called the glass child.

In the coming weeks, I found all that I could, just little quotes and excerpts from goodreads or brainyquote from Charlotte Eriksson, while I waited on your first book to arrive in the mail. And I saw someone who had begun to live the life I thought I was crazy for dreaming about. I couldn't tell you how often I thought about, "how easy would it be to just take one bag I can carry on my back, buy a bus ticket and just leave all this bullshit behind?" That was never the answer or the right path for me to take, and I'm glad I stuck it out to see myself come to where I am today, but to finally see someone else not only thinking the same thing, but acting on it, made me finally feel again that I wasn't alone, that I wasn't crazy. 

And since then, it's been an incredible honor to watch you grow along even these most recent couple of years on this journey. Having started with I Must Be Gone as my first Glass Child album, and going back to the previous work, I got the chance to see and hear what I needed at the time; someone who wasn't afraid to ignore the system or the normal way of doing things and become fiercely independent. But through Under Northern Skies, and your writings and chats and vlogs since, to see you turn into someone who's beginning to find peace, beginning to find a home in this world, has become what I've needed over time as well. Over the past two years, watching your growth has facilitated my own. You remind me that not every day is going to be a day when you feel that you're at your best, but that it's all just a part of it and a new opportunity will come. Your voice stills my heart when it's slipping away from me, and your words remind me of where I am. I hope I've shed more light on what I mean when I tell you I'm grateful for you.

But I'd like to address another part of what you've asked us for, because it speaks to me and it's a part of what I have to say that I think others are more likely to be able to relate to. You've asked about what keeps us up at night, and I hate how quickly the answer comes to mind. 

I don't suppose I'm very good at relationships, and though I've been learning that that's okay, it troubles me. And the thoughts that I can't shake when I'm staring at the ceiling are thoughts of a past lover. I've only ever had two of them; one was incidentally at around the same time I discovered you, and the other was about a year ago. Neither relationship lasted nearly as long as I expected. In fact, retrospectively, you could say that they never really got off the ground. But the latter one haunts me.

And again, because you're so far removed from everyone involved, I don't mind telling you her name, if for no other reason than for ease of storytelling. Her name was -------. I suppose from an objective, outside view, there was nothing really noteworthy about our relationship. We went to school together every year since I moved to town, and I think we both admired one another from afar, but never really knew each other well enough for anything to develop. As school ended and graduation approached, we began to speak and probably got far too close, far too quickly. But at the time, I planned to move out of town for college while she planned to stay local. When those plans fell through and I learned that I'd be staying as well, we began to take the idea of a relationship seriously for the first time. 

And from then on, it was the biggest cliche anyone's ever heard. It was cheesy and it was innocent and it was cute. She was out of town vacationing with her family for the summer, but we talked on the phone for hours every night. We didn't want to "officially" become a couple until she got back to town and we were sure we had the same chemistry in person. On our first date, I was an hour and a half late after an unexpectedly long day at work, but she still smiled like the moon when she saw me and my shame, fear and nerves melted instantly. We visited the spot that night where all the local old folks did karaoke and I sang her Frank Sinatra. A week later, our first kiss happened under literal fireworks on Independence Day. If it was fiction, no one would ever read it because it was too fantastic and didn't seem real. 

And just as it started to feel as if things were starting to settle into normal, the rush of something new had given way to a certain steadiness, like we were preparing to last over time, it ended out of the blue. It was her idea at first, and I tell myself now that after talking, it became mutual, but I still don't really know if that's true or not. But if one thing's certain, it was on good terms. She even asked to stay friends at first. I was hesitant because I've heard all the stories and I'd heard that staying friends never works. Eventually, though, I decided to give it a try, and learned firsthand that all the stories are true. 

I'm still not sure what happened, other than that it was my fault. I'm notorious for overthinking, and I let my fears get ahead of me. Ultimately, my fears of being too much of a burden for her to handle in her life became a self fulfilling prophecy, and she asked for some breathing room. That hurt for a longer time than I was comfortable with. And even now, its been twelve and a half months, and I don't think I've gone a day without her crossing my mind. That makes me uncomfortable as well. We've spoken a few times; I found an old book that I knew she'd love and she agreed to meet up so I could give it to her. She runs a crafting business and I've picked up a few orders because her stuff is actually really nice. I got a little tipsy on New Year's and called her when I shouldn't have. And every time, it's gotten a little easier, she's been a little warmer, but I don't think we'll ever be on "speaking terms," regularly again.

And I suppose that I'm left grappling with all the what if's and the possibilities that never came to fruition. Because ultimately, we knew each other for far too short a time for her to still be as big a part of my thoughts as she is now. I don't think either of us were at our best emotionally or mentally, and there just wasn't room for one another. What if I'd spoken to her two years earlier when I first noticed her? What if we were both doing a little better when we met? What if I'd known what to say to navigate through the difficulty and be enough even at the time? I know that these are absurd questions, and that there's nothing I could have done, and that it borders on insulting even to think in that way. But I look back and I feel as though we were just objectively good for one another, even just on a level of compatibility with all external factors aside. I remember resting beside her and being absolutely in awe of the fact that another rising pair of lungs could fill my every need and desire in the world. How the heavy eyelids beside mine could make it so that nothing else mattered, nothing else could touch me. And I suppose that she just set a high bar for love. That everyone I meet from now on, I'll keep comparing to her, that she'll be the gold standard that I missed out on. 

And I hear myself think these thoughts and I read them back as I've put them into words and I recognize that everyone who's lived on this spinning rock before me has felt this way, that this isn't unique, but that doesn't make it any more clear what I should do, where to go from here, or how to break this pattern of my thoughts. I know that I loved her. I believe that she loved me. I know that I remember her fondly. I know that she'll always have a piece of my heart, and I accept that that piece is hers to keep. I just wish that I could reclaim my mind from her. But until I learn to do that, ------- keeps me up at night. This is probably the longest email I've ever sent you and I know you promised to read everything, but gosh I'm making you work at it. The truth is there's loads more I could ramble about for hours, but I think this is a good place to leave it. I hope this is what you were looking for. 

Thanks for being you; love you. D. Roncaglione.