#anons who have been sending me asks i love you

[autumnscribbles]

take care of you | rc

pairing: mommyissues!rafe x pogue!reader

summary: after a heated argument with ward, rafe seeks comfort from the only woman in his life who’s ever stayed

warnings: wee bit of theorizing about mama cameron (death)

wc: 1.8k

a/n: hey friends!! thank you to the anon that sent this request in!! i love me a soft rafe moment who just needs to be held🥹 enjoy!! feel free to send me more angsty/soft rafe i love it!!!

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘

Rafe slammed the truck door shut behind him, twisting his key into the ignition. Ward stood in the doorway ahead of him, his mouth moving but his words unheard. Rafe stopped listening to him even before he decided to leave. He couldn’t listen to it anymore. The rain pelted the windowsill, overpowering the pounding sound of his accelerated heartbeat. He pulled out of the driveway, no destination in mind. He just had to leave.

As he drove, his headlights broke through the rain ahead, illuminating the pitch black road. His breathing was still heavy, trying to ignore his fight with Ward. They weren’t exactly few and far between, but this one had escalated particularly badly. He replayed it over and over, on the verge of screaming just to make it stop.

He didn’t know why he tried to hard to impress Ward, or to get his validation. Everyone is his life left in one way or another. Whether it was on their own terms, or they were taken. He clung to Ward and the fact that just maybe, he would stick around. Be proud of him. In the end, everyone gave up on him. Everyone screwed him over.

Except maybe one person.

When Rafe first met you, he didn’t like you. He never thought he could be friends with a pogue, let alone be with one romantically. You had too much confidence for someone who didn’t have very much. He admit, he thought less of you. He judged you about things that didn’t truly matter. Eventually, he began to find you endearing. You didn’t need boats, a big house, designer clothes, or anything material to be happy. You knew who you were, and he admired that.

You understood him in ways no kook ever had, and probably more than any kook ever will. You knew hardship, and you saw through his bravado. You could tell deep down, he was in pain. No money could fix what was truly happening inside. All the other kooks were shallow. Never having any conversations with substance, just rambling about bullshit. Rafe never really fit in with any of them. He pretended to be friends with most of them, to keep up appearances and his reputation. At the end of the day, he knew none of them truly cared about him. Even worse, he knew they would mock him if they knew he was with you.

Without realizing, Rafe ended up pulling into your driveway. Through the still pouring rain, he could barely see your house. All the lights were off, including the porch light. Were you home? He didn’t even know. As his mind reeled, he automatically drove here. He wanted to see you. Wanted your comfort. Before you, he hadn’t had that in a long time. Since his mom…no one had ever been there for him. No one to tell him things would be okay, no one to comfort him, or hold him. He craved it.

He hopped out of the car, jogging through the rain to your front door. He rapped his knuckles, hoping you would appear on the other side. He saw a light turn on inside, and exhaled a sigh of relief.

You opened the door, met with a dripping wet and sad looking Rafe on the other side. You were surprised to see him. You had some distance from each other recently, since Rafe told you that his friends couldn’t know about your relationship. You pulled back as he continued to hang out with them, unsure how to move forward.

Seeing him here made your heart sink. He pouted as his blue eyes bore into yours, sadness overcoming his entire expression.

“Can I come in?” he asked. “Please.”

“Of course,” you muttered. You stepped aside, letting Rafe into your empty house.

He crossed the threshold, a shiver coming over his body at the sudden change of temperature. His wet clothes left him cold, making the warmth of your house even more shocking to his system. He wiped at his face in attempt to dry it.

“Are you cold?” you asked gently. “Here let me go get you some clothes and a blanket.”

You walked away for a moment, leaving Rafe standing in your doorway. You gathered a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie that belonged to your brother. He wasn’t here, he wouldn’t mind. You snatched your fuzzy blanket from your bed, scurrying back to where Rafe stood waiting. You passed him the clothes, offering him to go change.

As he took his time, you put a kettle of water on the stove. Opening your white cabinets, you rummaged through the various flavours of tea you had. You settled on chamomile. You knew Rafe liked it, even though he would never admit it to literally anyone else. You grabbed 2 mugs and placed the tea bags inside as the kettle began whistling.

You took the two steaming mugs out to the coffee table, where Rafe sat on the couch, waiting for you.

“Here,” you muttered, handing him the mug. You grabbed the blanket, placing it across his lap. “That should warm you up.”

“Thank you,” he said softly, gentle eyes looking up at you.

You sat down beside him, tucking your legs up on the couch. You both sat in silence for a moment, sipping your tea. He let out a small sigh after his first sip, a little smile tugging at his lips.

“My favorite,” he whispered. You responded with a nod.

“You take such good care of me,” he said, breaking the silence more. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Rafe,” you sighed.

He shook his head, not wanting you to deny the truth. He didn’t want you to tell him that he deserved it when he knew it wasn’t true. You were consistently there for him, exuding a kindness he’d never felt. Yet what did he do in return? Essentially tell you he’s embarrassed about your relationship. It was ridiculous, and you shouldn’t be nice to him.

“Come here,” you whispered, opening your arms to him.

His eyes welled up with tears, and he leaned over, resting his head on your lap. You tugged the blanket up slightly higher, covering his torso. You ran your hands through his hair and down his back, feeling the tension release from his body.

Unexpectedly, the tears continued to fall harder. Rafe’s breath caught in his throat as he heaved out a sob.

“You’re okay,” you cooed. “I’m here.”

He let out all the emotions he had been trained to hold back. Grown men didn’t cry. Strong men didn’t cry. This is what he was told over and over. No one ever let him express himself freely, or show vulnerability. For some reason, he felt safe to show it around you. Confident that you didn’t judge him, or view him as weak.

He didn’t realize how much he was craving to just be held. To have his hair played with, his back scratched. To be told it’s okay. He couldn’t remember a time when someone treated him so gently. He wondered if his mom was the last person who truly took care of him. Now, he felt responsible to take care of people around him most of the time.

“Talk to me,” you said. “What happened?”

“My dad,” he blurted out. He rubbed the tears from his eyes, taking a deep breath as he tried to compose himself. “We got into a fight, as always. I accused him of…of killing my mom.”

“What?” you asked, unable to hide the shock in your voice. “Do you really think…”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I was too young, but sometimes what he says just doesn’t add up. Doesn’t matter anyway, not like anything would happen to him.”

You nodded silently, knowing he was right. Even if Ward had killed her, no justice would be had. You knew Rafe grappled with the loss of his mom. Rose wasn’t exactly a replacement. She was cold, unkind. Rafe was in a constant battle with Ward. Trying to impress him, get his validation. Rafe grew up wanting his dad’s success, but most of all he just wanted his love. His acceptance. He didn’t think he would ever have a real family. That possibility only came into view when he met you.

“I’m so sorry, Rafe,” you consoled him. “I know how tense things can get with your dad. My arms are always open if you need a break, or need to talk.”

He sat up from your lap, facing you. His eyes were bloodshot from his previous tears. His usually hard features had softened, his eyes still carrying a deep sadness that you knew you couldn’t fix.

“I’m going to tell everyone we’re together,” he told you. “You’re…you’re perfect. You don’t deserve to be hidden. I don’t deserve you in general.”

“It’s okay,” you whispered. “When you’re ready.”

“I’m ready,” he nodded. “I think…I think you’re the only person who actually cares about me. Who listens and…sees me.”

Your eyes welled up slightly. You weren’t expecting Rafe to say something so vulnerable like this. His rough edges were beginning to soften around you.

“I see you, Rafe,” you told him. You reached out and cupped the side of his face, brushing your thumb along his cheekbone.

He leaned forward, his warm lips crashing onto yours. The kiss was desperate, yet gentle. You didn’t realize how much you had missed this. When you pulled away, Rafe’s eyes were glistening once more.

“Everyone in my life leaves, or screws me over,” he told you, repeating his previous thoughts. “Please don’t leave me.”

You pulled him towards you, wrapping your arms around him. He melted into your touch, safety and warmth encompassing his entire being.

“I’m here, Rafe,” you whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.”

You heard his stomach gurgle, making you let out a quiet chuckle. “Hungry?”

He nodded into the crook of your shoulder. You laughed once more as he pulled back, a smirk on his face.

“Let me make you something,” you told him. You planted a kiss on his cheek before standing up, placing the blanket over his carefully. “You just sit here and relax, okay?”

“I love when you take care of me, baby,” he murmured as he rested his head on the arm of the couch.

You smiled down at him before going into the kitchen to make him some food. He felt safe with you. You had to admit that your heart soared at the thought that you were the first person he came to after a fight with his dad. The first person he opened up to about his mom, to try in front of.

You didn’t even realize it would always be you. You would always be the first person he would run to, even in a crowded room.

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[xinganhao]

🧾 xinganhao's grocery list

will round up the last couple of chapters under the svt university milestone, so please expect sociology major!junhui and data science!major ex boyfriend!jeonghan this week ´◡`

relatively important drop coming on friday -ish ≖‿≖ until then, though: i'm opening ot13 requests for the next 24 hours! i feel like i haven't been able to do proper ot13 aus in a while, and my motivation is a bit low for the ones currently sitting in my inbox :( feel free to send in any ot13 requests or prompts you might want to see here 💌

coming soon -ish [indefinite publishing date lmao]: chapter four of vernon dates rockstar!reader

i see all the lovely reblogs, replies, and asks that are being left on my work, and i'm so very very grateful for all of them (・ω<) even if i may be slow with responding [sometimes, i like to keep sweet anons in my inbox for me to go back to wahaha], trust that i take to heart all the kind feedback you've given me <3

to those who are new here, welcome; to those who have been around, don't be a stranger. i hope you're all a little bit happier than me today!~

[strifethedestroyer]

im sorry to hear about your uncle, i send my condolences and i wish nothing but warmth and love for you and your family

yoo anon :D like i said i barely knew the guy so i really don't care, it's just my family i'm worried for, but thank you for this ask!! <3 my family will appreciate it haha

[necrotic-nephilim]

in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)

[doctorsiren]

little PSA:

I have zero obligations to answer any asks sent in. I have zero obligations to draw something for those asks. There are many that I want to draw things for, and there are many that I just might reply to.

I have around 950 asks in my inbox (i had around 850-ish just last week). This is great, this is cool! I love it when people interact and send in asks!

Yet feeling like I need to respond to all of them, or feeling like I need to do art for them is incredibly draining.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t send something in. Please do! I love to read it and I do read every single one!

I am a busy person. I have life, uni, and other work I need to do. So I don’t like feeling like I have an obligation to do something that I know, in reality, I don’t have an obligation to do. I’m not mad or anything. I just wanted to give a little heads up, seeing as my inbox is nearing 1000 unanswered asks. (This is, of course, since I made this blog in 2020)

I love you all and I love all the interactions because it does genuinely bring me joy and this blog and the people who interact are a big place of happiness to me through my days. I thank you for your support and interaction. Just know that I am a person with stuff I gotta do. You get it haha

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[snekdood]

not sure who needs to hear this but i do not see myself as above anyone, like, at all. if something I posted makes you think I think I am you're probably misreading it or my intentions. I dont feel the need to compare myself and make myself feel like i'm above people, i'm just not really that kind of person. in fact, people make a point of constantly trying to make me feel below them on here so dont worry, you don't gotta help em'.

[smoozie]

i can never say this off anon but. like. i don't agree with rpf ideologically but there's something to the narrative of it, right? like if i was a minecraft youtuber and so was my best friend and i fell in love with them i would never fucking say anything publicly. there's a story there. i just wish it made sense to write about fictional youtubers or write aus about my ocs as youtubers without it turning into meta commentary on actual RPF. why is there no respectful way to write about c!cc!characters huh

There is most definitely a story to be told in which the entire world thinks two people should be together, and because of that two people cannot reveal they are in love with each other.

[rosecoloredknight]

psst, anon — just want you to know that I've been reading this almost every day. I'm not trying to make a big deal about it because I understand it's not that literal, but still — thank you.

[kittyhazelnut]

You have to kidding when you say lokius or whatever is the superior Loki ship? Just because you ship it that doesn't make it superior. On top of that Mobius is the ugliest person to ever ship loki with

man, fuck off. someone asked me my opinion on Loki ships and I responded with my opinion on Loki ships. this is that whole "everyone on tumblr is chronically online and thinks every post must be About Them Specifically" bullshit I was talking about earlier. a girl can't even call her fav ship superior in her own post about her own ships without some asshole getting mad that I didn't account for Every Single Marvel Fan's Opinion Ever. make your own post about your own favorite Loki ship if you're this bitter idfc just go away

[dodgebolts]

nearly 250 responses already \o/ dtblr really is alive and well

[allylikethecat]

I absolutely ADORE your writing. The way you write the boys just makes sense lol

You very quickly became one of my fav writers. And I’m dying to know…any idea when you might update On a Friday? It’s been on my mind for weeks. fictional!Matty’s relationship with Carly kills me🥹

Oh my gosh thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so flattered to hear that you're enjoying my writing and my version of the boys 🥰 I've been having so much fun turning them into my little fictional characters and it makes my heart so happy that other people are enjoying them as well!

In terms of On a Friday - my plan is for it to be next in the update rotation! (Unless this one shot I'm working on ends up getting finished first 👀) I am actively working on the next chapter! I don't want to be overly ambitious and get anyones hopes up that I'll have it finished by the end of the week, however that is my goal! I'm having a lot of fun working on it and am so happy that you're enjoying the friendship between Fictional!Matty and Fictional!Carly. I've been really enjoying exploring it - I realized I hadn't really given Fictional!Matty friends in any of my other fics and figured that it was about time and he deserved one!

Thank you so much for sending in this ask, your sweet words about my writing and for reading in general! Asks like these make me so ridiculously happy! I hope you continue to enjoy On a Friday and have a great rest of your day / night (time zone depending lol)

❤️Ally

[theladyyavilee]

Hey! :) why don't you want anything to do with the circle of excellence?

I will answer this in good faith, just this once, even tho I am not sure it was sent in good faith, because multiple people have elaborated over and over again why a large part of this fandom is uncomfortable with the circle of excellence competition

1 - the circle of excellence competition was started in response to large parts of this fandom objecting to another fanfic competition (that was done in good faith and taken down when people voiced their concerns over it) which in my opinion feels VERY much in bad faith! it just feels icky to do exactly what a ton of people just said they DIDN'T want done with their fanworks - and then to make it so that everyone who had just voiced that they didn't want a competition like that, had to specifically opt out, instead of making it an opt-in-event for people who want to compete

2 - the original objection people had was on grounds of it pitting fanfics against each other, which is kind of antithetic to the message of fandom, which is about community and collaboration and supposed to embody the whole 'two cakes' theory, as well as it all turning into a popularity contest, pushing fanfics that are already popular and well-beloved even further into the spotlight, while not really doing anything to give less-well-known works more visibility than normal rec-lists are already doing (people's mileage on this may vary, I personally did not object quite as intensely to it as other's did, but I do understand why people were upset and I agree that it isn't something that should be pushed on fanwork creators without their consent!) - and I personally too do not want my own work pitted against other creators, I already feel inadequate enough most days, AND I am horrified by the possibility that it could discourage someone else even more too to see their work pitted against mine!

3 - I personally find the tone the people behind CoE have taken when interacting with this fandom extremely condescending and every interaction I have witnessed has made me personally pretty uncomfortable! and while they preach transparency, I personally find their whole blog pretty intransparent and some of their behaviour, I don’t know, kinda secretive and disconnected? not sure how to describe it correctly, but it makes me uncomfortable

4 - some of their responses and the way they have interacted with the topic/people involved with the topic of racism in fanfics (specifically surrounding chimney) makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable and is in tone very similar to the people who last year were writing racist and extremely anti-chimney fanfic, and instead of taking being told how hurtful their content was as an opportunity to learn and do better, doubled down on turning a character of color into a caricatural villain, which is one, pretty fucking racists, and two, in my opinion has no place in a fandom community and makes me believe that at least part of the group behind this ‘fandom event’ are either people who themselves write these stories or at least rallied around these people and I don’t want anything to do with either of these groups!

(also since I got quite a few (not-bot) new followers in the last few months, this is a PSA that if you think the punch was unforgivable/treated with not enough gravitas/made chimney an abuser or means that maddie should not feel safe around chimney/should have defended poor baby buck or that he is not fit to be a parent to jee or if you in general think that anyone in the firefam is too harsh towards buck/doesn’t care enough about buck/is someone buck needs to be protected from, please unfollow and block me, I am very tired of the racism and the misogyny and the buck-woobifying, please and thank you and good riddance <3)

[rosicheeks]

As a long time mutual and a short term snap subscriber, I cannot stop stroking myself to you. Just every day.

[savethepinecones]

🌟Even in moments when life feels overwhelming, remember that you’ve faced challenges before and come through stronger. Your resilience is powerful, and each time you rise, you grow more capable of handling whatever comes next. Trust in your strength—you have more of it than you realize. Keep going, because your journey is worth every step.🌟

thank you anon! this is so sweet and its definitely something that i think a lot of people need to hear after the last week. i hope youre doing well! i was happy to see you in my inbox again ☺️

[mirror-shards-broken]

🪴In times when everything feels overwhelming and your inner world is heavy, know that your strength is not defined by how you feel. Even if today feels dark, you’re still a person of immense value and worth. Take things one moment at a time, and remember that your existence has a quiet resilience. You are doing your beset, and something to be proud of🪴

im barely a person, but alright. thanks for the kind words, i guess

who are you, anyway? are you the same anon from the other emoji asks?