#anon you're valid and also

[bixels]

So i have a small nicpic i wanted to share with you about your interpretation of spike in the au and i want to make two things clear before i talk

1) i havent watch the series for a little while as of now so i might be misnterpreting a aspect of this chatacter that might have never been there and only apeared in fan content and personal interpretation (since that whats been keeping me on the fandom)

2) this is not a big problem about the au i matured enough to not get angry at a interpretation of a fictional charater

Now here i go

I feel spike being the same race as the rest of his familie makes him lose a part of his character that might have not been central but was still something interesting about him and is the idea of not mayhering how diferent he looked from his adoptive family (and his cominty as a whole) he was he was still seen as part of it

Again this isnt a big problem with the au as a whole its just a small nicpic that i have about the au and its not going to make me hate the au

This was just my opinion that i wanted to share and im interested to know your opinion about what i said

I understand this criticism and agree that having Simon/Spike be a different race than Thea could speak to their relationship in the original show.

My reasoning for designing them both to be African American is this. I believe Simon's adoption is enough to explore the feelings of separation and exclusion he may have with Thea and her family. The original show doesn't bring up Twilight and Spike's racial differences much because they originally didn't consider Spike to be a part of Twilight's family. As far as I know, there's no moment where someone says, "Wow! You're telling me you're related to Twilight Sparkle? But you look nothing alike!" because Spike was more so Twilights... familiar than anything.

Later episodes that explore their familial dynamic poses the conflict through Spike's adoption. There's one episode where Spike's "biological father" returns, and Spike accuses Twilight of not being his real family, which breaks her heart. There's another that delves deep into Spike's feelings of exclusion from Twilight and Shining Armor's siblinghood. Basically, in discussions of family dynamics, the show places more emphasis on Spike's identity as an adopted sibling rather than a dragon.

I really do believe a multiracial family would be good representation, but the racial dynamics would not be something I'd be interested in getting into. That's not to say I find real multiracial families problematic or uninteresting or unappealing or unimportant. I just wouldn't be interested in having to explain in-text that Simon (non-black) and Thea (black) are related over and over; it would grow tedious. It adds an extra level of writing complication and opens up racial discourse (discourse that I feel is unrelated to their relationship in the original show) that I don't want to concern myself with, especially because I have no experience in navigating such discourse.

[tea-and-secrets]

my secret is that i don't think i have a future. i'm turning 18 in a month, maybe by the time you post this ask i will already be 18 for a while, but well, im not there yet. i just finished high school kicking and screaming, literally thought i wouldn't survive it to the point i was considering ending it all several times, but i finished it. now what? now i know i have to go to uni but i also know i won't be able to make it through. i barely scraped by with high school and now my mental health is at an all time low (thought 2021 was my worst year but life is full of surprises) and if college is harder than high school like people say it is, then i'm just royally fucked. it does not help that i don't know who i want to be in life. i'm bilingual and have language skills, but if i study for a translator job then it's just like-- who even needs it? i live in russia. my country is in shambles and so is its economy and relationship with other countries. russia does not need a fucking translator because everybody hates it and for good reason. i can't imagine any future for myself here. when i was a kid it all seemed so clear to me, i would grow up and live with my best friend and be happy and have a job i love. now whenever i think of being grown up my mind just comes up blank. my best friend has probably forgotten that we ever wanted to live together, or they just left the idea behind because it was so childish and unrealistic. i feel like i've been drifting away from them as well as my entire friend group for the past 2 years. i'm autistic, so i just don't see the world the same way they do. i used to love being aroace before i realized it's distancing me from my friends, because now they all have partners or they're yearning for partners or talking about all the sex they've had and i just have nothing to add to the conversation. i don't smoke or drink, so i guess now i'm just not as interesting to hang out with as when we were all 15 and sober. so yeah. i guess i just dont know what im going to do or what's going to happen to me. i've spent the last few years feeling more and more isolated and sinking into depression. if i get into college, i don't know what it's going to do to me, but it makes me fear for my life. if i don't get into it, then i dont know what im going to do at all. maybe my real secret is that i was put on this earth to draw gay people and not like, have a life and relationships. oh well.

.

[stormyoceans]

you're definitely onto something because it all feels so rushed and "fake"... like someone with dylan's personality wouldn't magically be fine with everything all of a sudden, he could be such a complex and great character and i was expecting him to! but alas... this feels like a show for children where conflict just doesn't make sense and gets resolved by the power of friendship or something lol also some ppl on twitter are making good criticism and very good points (mostly band fans) but they are getting attacked which 🤦🏻‍♀️ anyway you're not alone in that, it's gmmtv after all

NOW WHY WOULD PEOPLE ATTACK SOMEONE JUST FOR SHARING THEIR OPINION ON A PIECE OF MEDIA ✋😭

like i understand. reading criticism about something you love is never easy, which why i tend to keep my more negative opinions to myself or at least not put them in the main tags, because i don't want to make people feel bad for liking something, however i think we really need to stop equating criticism with hate, especially if it's constructive criticism that's being talked about without any malicious intent behind it

thamepo, for example, has a lot of strengths – it's a visually gorgeous show, william and est have great chemistry, the romantic moments make you feel butterflies in your stomach and are built on thame and po getting to know each other – but i do personally believe it's falling short when it comes to storytelling and character building

i mean, the show is called thamepo, so i knew from the beginning that the romance between them was gonna be the focus of the show rather than mars as a group, however i did expect their relationship to slowly develop along with the two of them trying to get the group back together, and for the members to still play a major role in the series and in thame's growth as a character, but 4/5 of the group has already reconciled and we're only at episode 4

and you know, i don't think this would be as much of an issue if i felt like we got to know each member properly and the reconciliation between them and thame felt earned, but i don't and it doesn't: pepper suddenly appeared like nothing ever happened, and dylan's story got told by jun rather than by dylan himself (and as i mentioned in my tags i could also talk about how it feels like the writers refused to let any of them make any real mistake and be a little bit of an asshole but it would get too long so i won't)

as i said, it's ONLY episode 4, so there's still time to get to know the characters, but at the same time it does feel like there have been a lot of missed opportunities, and if i were a big fan of lykn i would definitely be at least a little bit disappointed rn, so i think people expressing that or even giving some criticism is perfectly understandable

ANYWAY. we'll see how things go from here, and in the meantime im glad to know im not alone in this, so thank you for your message, anon!!!!!

[silverwhittlingknife]

I noticed something in a lot of your Dick and Tim fics. It's probably so obvious, but you always write that Tim is watching Dick. In your newest one, Tim's watching Dick, in The Return Tim's watching Dick, and you even write that Tim is always watching him. Is Tim trying to read Dick? Trying to understand? Or does he understand him by watching? What is he trying to figure out by watching Dick? What does that say about Tim? I really hope this is intentional lmao because I would be embarrassed. Maybe this is just something so obvious that I'm just getting now.

YES IT’S ON PURPOSE <333 Anon. Anon. I'm so sorry this answer took forever, but listen, this was a really delightful ask <333 I think about this a lot.  I really love origin stories—I like stories that resonate through a character’s history. 

And for me, a whole lot of what interests me about Dick and Tim is that theme of watching and being watched. Seeing and being seen.

"Watch me on the trapeze, Tim. I'm going to do my act...'specially for you." | "Timmy, don't look." | "I turned away... I couldn't watch. Then I heard you crying and I turned back... I'm sorry, Dick. I didn't want to hurt you by telling you all this." Dick's watching me. Gauging my reactions. (Tim watching Dick watching Tim!) | "I'm taking off the blindfold." "No!" | "I can't see him. You can't see him. But I know Robin. And Robin's always there when you need him." | I love that kid. Too much to let him see me like this. (But Tim spots him anyway.)

Spotlights and lighthouses and cameras and photographs. Blindness and vision and masks and detective work and trust.

I'm going to try to be coherent about this but it's gonna be incoherent sdfsf BUT I'M GOING TO TRY so. Below the cut, a really long grab-bag of my rambling on vision and watchers and watching.

Tim + watching / Dick + being watched / different dynamics

Tim's origin story

Being watched goes with vulnerability/exposure

Incomplete list of moments with Dick and Tim and vision

Tim + watching

The first time we see Tim's face in LPoD: a close-up on his eyes looking for Dick, a close-up on his eyes at the moment that he sees Dick, a pullback to his face at the moment of recognition, a pullback to his face + his camera (you could maybe even argue that Tim comes into existence at the moment that he sees Dick, like, conceptually. the act of seeing is his defining characteristic. it is the thing that makes his character happen. he is the kid who's watching.)

Tim's a very vision-centric character: he's first introduced as a camera, then as a pair of binoculars, then as a pair of eyes. His whole backstory is about watching: watching Dick's parents die, watching Dick on TV, watching Batman and Robin. I've grabbed a few panels above with Tim watching Dick but there are so many more. His major deductions are all vision-based: he sees Dick-the-acrobat and later recognizes Dick-as-Robin; he sees Bruce-in-the-past and recognizes him as Bruce-of-our-time; the climactic moment in Red Robin is about going into a dark cave with a torch so he can see what's there.

And he's a detective. He pries into secrets. He analyzes people. He's a worrywart and a fusser who always wants to understand what's going on with other people. In a lot of those panels where Tim's watching Dick, his inner monologue is busy deducing Dick's emotions and trying to psychoanalyze him. Tim's caring and watchful and intuitive... but all those qualities also make him very very intrusive.

Dick + being watched

Dick performing acrobatics for Bruce, Donna, and Tim in Detective Comics 38 (his first appearance), New Teen Titans 16, Batman 441, and Nightwing 88 (where he reflects he's glad to be back in the hot glare of the spotlight)

Dick's a detective too, of course - Tim deliberately mirrors Dick, both in-universe and out-of-universe. But also Dick's a performer who loves being watched and also wants to control how he's seen. He gets a kick out of showing off, making puns, kicking ass, taking names, and he gets a kick out of having an appreciative audience. And he's got a kind of yearning for recognition - it hurts, when Bruce won't look at him, and in fights with Bruce, Babs, Roy, he'll often bring up the past, trying to get them to acknowledge a shared history.

At the same time, he's a very private person who withdraws and hides and pushes people away when he's upset. Right before Tim shows up, Dick's just ghosted the Titans because he's having emotional turmoil and doesn't want to have it in front of them, and they're trying to respect his wishes... but that solitude doesn't last long, because then Tim tracks him down. Tim will do this again when Dick's having an emotional crisis and trying to avoid everybody in Nightwing 110.

Possible dynamics

Tim watches Dick in Robin 11, while silently analyzing Dick's anxieties about Two-Face

"The watcher and the person being watched" is a dynamic that really interests me, partly because it can be so complicated?

You can see in Dick and Tim their very first roles: enthusiastic performer and the enthusiastic audience member. Dick likes to perform and show off and entertain; Tim likes to watch; those are roles they both easily slide into and they have a lot of fun together! But also you can look at the harsher side: the crime victim and the voyeur, the amateur photographer and the guy who hates being photographed. Dick's intensely private about his vulnerabilities; Tim's intrusive and watchful and constantly trying to figure out how other people tick. Sometimes Tim's the caring friend who watches Dick closely, reads him well, understands him; sometimes he's the nosy mini-detective who pries into Dick's secrets. And that's just two different ways of describing the same thing!

One of the things that kinda fascinates me about Dick and Tim's relationship is that in a lot of ways it's built on a bunch of low-key boundary violations. A lot of their early relationship is driven by Tim's desire to know more about Dick vs. Dick's reluctance to get close to anyone from Gotham; Tim's often out-of-line, but without his pushiness, it's hard to see how they would've developed a relationship at all. Later on, their friendlier relationship is marked by Dick teasing and low-key bullying Tim; it's pretty obvious that Tim isn't actually bothered by this, but it does involve Dick ignoring whatever Tim's claiming he doesn't like ("Quit it!" "Shh").

And one of the aspects of those boundary-violations is that Tim has a habit of witnessing things that Dick would prefer that nobody see. Tim's a witness to Dick's first and most miserable tragedy; he sees the aftermath of some of Dick's fights with Bruce; he's there when Donna dies. And he's sharp and observant and analytical, and I like to imagine this as being something Dick's not entirely comfortable with.

When Dick first meets Tim, it's before he's learned to wear a mask. And Tim spends a lot of time trying to see through Dick's masks, and he's pretty good at it, and a lot of that prying comes from love and care, because one of the ways that Tim shows love and respect and admiration is by trying to absorb absolutely everything about you, like a little sponge. But there's also something unsparing and even threatening about the search for the truth of someone else. It can be comforting or threatening, to know someone's watching you.

And I love how all that complexity is wrapped up in Tim's origin story? Both the giddy childish "Watch me on the trapeze" and then the awful grim reality of what Tim actually sees as a result and then the difficult connection when Dick and Alfred finally get Tim to explain how he knows their secret identities.

Tim's origin story

Tim (recounting his origin story in LPoD): My parents held me back as the thing moved to you. I cried out to warn you. (Two panels where we see just Tim's eyes, as he watches a crying Dick. He sees Batman approach and start trying to comfort Dick.)

I think fiction sometimes presents "being understood / seen / known" as an uncomplicatedly good thing, and there's nothing wrong with that! But I like complications, and I like the way Tim's origin story frames that moment of witnessing as difficult and fraught. Tim doesn't want to tell Dick how he knows their secret identities because he thinks it'll hurt Dick to know it: I don't want to hurt you, Dick, and I'm really afraid I might. And he's not wrong. It is painful; it does hurt; it's not something Dick's happy to know.

Dick's a very private person, and there's a painful intimacy to Tim's origin story - it's not Tim's fault he was there, but at the same time, it's not like Dick chose to have the most traumatic moment of his life on stage in front of an audience of strangers, you know? It's kind of a violation. In NTT/NT/Nightwing, Dick's pretty violently hostile to photographers, and he's intensely private about trauma in general, and I like to imagine this as partly a reaction to that foundational trauma of losing the most important people in his life and also doing it publicly.

And Tim's part of that audience. And he sees the worst part, the part that Dick can't talk about. He sees the bodies and the blood. He has nightmares about it for years. He hears Dick crying and sees him holding onto his parents' bodies. Not at all the kind of first impression Dick would want to make. Not at all the kind of person he wants to be seen as. And that understanding can be painful, because it's so close to the bone, and when Tim's just a stranger, it's upsetting, because Tim knows things that Dick would never have chosen for him to know. Their few conversations about it are awkward partly because Tim's thirteen and awkward... but at the same time, it's not Tim's fault so much as the situation! There's no way for Tim to talk about what he saw that wouldn't be uncomfortable for Dick.

... And yet, and yet. Tim's also one of the last people to see the Graysons alive. He sees Dick and his parents together; he even takes a picture with them. He remembers the whole thing so vividly he'll recognize Dick's somersault years later. He sees the grief. And so I think of that connection as kind of a metaphor for witnessing. Tim sees these things and they become real; Dick can't hide from them; in the act of being seen he's caught, he's in a spotlight, all the grief made real. You can't hide, that way. And Tim's got this unforgiving memory; he won't ever forget; he won't ever stop knowing.

But then, too: Dick's seen, he's known. Even at the very beginning, when Tim doesn't know enough to understand what he knows, he knows the important things.

So that shared memory is a barrier and a bond between them. It can be a source of discomfort or a source of comfort. And that's how I think about Tim watching Dick in general - it's complicated, and sometimes Dick's glad of it, and sometimes he resents it, and also it just is, it's a fact of Tim, that Tim watches. It's notable when he's not watching, when he's turned away.

Being watched goes with vulnerability/exposure

So I'm going to talk about the fraught feeling of being watched more in a little bit, but first: I think it's fascinating that Dick likes screwing around with games where Tim can't see!

Here's Nightwing 25 - Dick's come up with the idea of trainsurfing while blindfolded:

Tim: Are you sure this is such a good idea? Dick: Shh! Listen. Tune into the changing sounds and - Tim: I'm not so - Dick: JUMP!

Here's Robin 49 - clambering through a tunnel into No Man's Land:

Dick: Hard not to think about the river. All the water above us. And bugs. This tunnels' probably full of 'em. And rats. Big ones. Big blind rats with teeth as long as -

Here's Gotham Knights 9 - ambushing Tim in a sorta game of hide-and-seek:

Dick: Gotcha! Tim: Augh!

I feel like mmm I don't want to emphasize power dynamics too much because it's easy to overplay it BUT when I think about headcanons it's interesting to me to think about how maybe when Tim can't see, Dick's more in charge / in control, and so he feels more comfortable and less vulnerable, and that's often when he's most relaxed and playing around the most?

Whereas the moments when Tim's looking at him are often a bit more fraught, as here in Lonely Place of Dying:

Tim: I'm sorry, Dick. I really am. I didn't want to hurt you by telling you all this. Dick... Dick: It's all right, Tim. No matter how old you are, there are some things you never forget. Or get over. (Silent panel: Tim's watching Dick as Dick turns away and stares into the window.)

Or here in Nightwing 6, when Tim wakes him up from a nightmare:

Dick (internally, imagining a kid falling): He shouts to me. He always shouts to me. I never hear what he says. Tim: Nightwing! Wake up!

Or here in Gotham Knights 26, when Bruce is accused of murder:

(Silent panel where Tim's watching Dick.) Tim: I'm sorry. This must be hard for you. Dick: Me? Why? Tim: Well, I mean, it'd be one thing if we really knew he was innocent, but as it is - Dick: Wait, what? Stop right there. What are you saying, Tim?

Here's Tim spotting him before he can get away in Nightwing 110:

Dick (watching Tim from a distance, internally): Still, Timmy played it through nice and clean. Disarmed the perps, protected and avoided the cops. Kept any civilians from getting shot. God, I love that kid. Too much to let him see me like this. Tim: Hey! (appearing on the roof above him, fake-cheerful) You weren't gonna leave without saying hi, were you? Dick (looking away, very quietly): Hey, Timmy. Tim: Look at you, man! Back on both feet! Think you're done stopping bullets with your body for a while? Dick: Hope springs eternal. (Silent panel with Tim watching Dick, who's turned away.) Tim: You okay, Dick? Dick: I'm fine. Tim: Well, where're you staying these days? Dick: With some people.

Of course, sometimes Tim's watchfulness is frustrating but also a comfort, as in Detective Comics 874:

Tim (watching Dick, who's looking away): Are you listening to me, Batman? I'm saying the gas the Dealer used on you was powerful stuff. Dick: I'm fine, Red Robin. Besides...you're here now. Tim: You're not fine. And with or without me, you shouldn't be out on patrol ye - Dick: Sshhh. Here they come.

(Later in the comic, Dick mentally concedes that Tim's right that he hasn't really recovered from the gas, and Tim saves him from drowning when he's hallucinating. So Dick feels kind of exposed by the scrutiny, but also... he invited Tim along, so there's trust there, too - Tim's perceptiveness can be a good thing, too, when things are serious.)

Incomplete summary of moments with Dick and Tim and vision

I think I already mentioned a lot of these but here is my LIST

almost the first thing that Dick says to Tim is "watch me on the trapeze, Tim" and then Tim does and he basically never stops watching;

Tim watches Dick's parents die and watches Dick sobbing on-stage and watches him on TV and recognizes him by seeing a particular trick because he's dreamed about Dick doing the trick in his recurring nightmares about that night;

in New Titans 65 which is their very first team-up comic after Tim's origin, Dick's training pre-Robin Tim and gives him a test about watching for details and later Tim's takeaway is "I saw how [the Titans] listened to you";

there's a moment in Showcase '93 12 which is just Tim watching Dick and analyzing what's going on with him and there's another moment in Prodigal which is the same thing;

in Nightwing 6 Tim sneaks into Dick's apartment and hides in the dark and Dick spots him and tackles him; one of their most important bonding comics is Nightwing 25, where Dick insists on blindfolding him to get him to rely less on vision; when they sneak into No Man's Land they're in the dark and Tim can't see again and Dick's teasing him;

there are multiple moments when Tim can't see Dick for a bit and panics about his safety, in Nightwing 25, in No Man's Land, in Transference, in Bruce Wayne: Murderer;

Tim's there watching when Dick's wedding to Kory falls apart and he's there watching when Bruce and Dick fight and he's there watching when Donna dies and he's watching when Dick and Bruce swing together on the night before Infinite Crisis, and when Dick goes down and almost dies in Infinite Crisis we cut to Tim watching and seeing it happen and screaming;

there are multiple moments which are just silent panels of them staring at each other trying to figure out what's going on with each other or having a stand-off - in Bruce Wayne: Murderer, in Resurrection, in Red Robin;

in the aftermath of Donna's death there's a panel where Dick's watching Tim from a distance and not approaching;

in the aftermath of Blockbuster Dick spends half the comic just staring at Tim from a distance and hiding himself because "I love that kid - too much to let him see me like this," but Tim sees him anyway and chases him down and then they lie to each other and *ranting* LISTEN TO ME the whole comic is about Dick trying to AVOID being SEEN both literally but also METAPHORICALLY AND --!!!

(the only thing i'm even as halfway obsessive about for them is the heights thing because also there are a bunch of moments involving falling or Tim being anxious about heights and worried that he'll fall or Dick will fall)

In conclusion

Consider the progression in all these moments where Tim's watching an upset Dick and worrying about him!! From reaching out instinctively-but-pointlessly when he's too far away in the LPoD flashback, to almost reaching out in LPoD but hesitating, to putting a hand on Dick's back to walk him back to the Cave in Gotham Knights 10, to physically dragging him clear of the water in Batman: Black Mirror!

In conclusion I don't have a conclusion but basically YES, "watching Dick" is a core Tim characteristic as far as I'm concerned, and Tim watches Dick a lot and that can mean all kinds of things from admiration to nosy intrusiveness to worry to care to gratitude to trying-to-figure-out-what's-going-on-with-him, and sometimes Dick's resentful and sometimes he's relieved and sometimes he's playful and sometimes it's a mix of all those feelings.

And at first it's always Tim watching Dick, but later you've got Dick watching Tim too, and there's that moment where Dick's secretly watching him fight but Tim spots him in Nightwing 110 and there's a silent panel where Dick's watching him in Resurrection and at the very end of Robin there's a scene where Dick's secretly watching him fight but Tim spots him and in the very last issue of Red Robin Dick's watching the end of the confrontation with Boomerang and in Prodigal Dick's the one who notices his face is bruised and aaaaaaah

Anyway I think they're neat <3

[khaopybara]

Here I'm desperately hoping THK will be a superfun escape from reality 🙏🏻 the way things have gone in my country in the last two days. Who's wishing for it to be dark and serious? 😭 My life is enough dark and serious.

ATTENTION! rant ahead. anon, i'm really sorry i used your ask for this, but when i realized i went on a tangent, it was already too late. i do eventually answer your comment in the last two paragraphs, tho.

i personally use these silly little shows and interact so much with what these actors who live so far from my own reality because i want to use it as an escape route!

i'll be honest and say i don't remember when or how i switched back to asian media after spending a long time only watching western stuff, but i do know i made the switch because queer stories in western media were either a) being cancelled after one season, or b) having tragic/unfulfilling endings for poc/queer characters. I DON'T WANT THAT.

and imagine my surprise in like june of 2023 when i was looking up things to watch and stumbled over a silly little thai show about a loser who can go back in time with his crystal ball, and he tries to win over this girl he has been interested in forever and ends up falling for the guy who he saw as his rival? and ofc be my favorite had a lot of social commentary and personally, i think one of the most beautiful self-discovery journeys to this day in thai bl, but they had a happy ending, and they had an arc, and a story and it was a lot more than any western show could ever dream of giving me (am i saying thai shows, or gmm shows are perfect? no, i know its faults. what i am saying is that as a queer person living in south america, i wish i had these type of things to watch growing up. hayley kiyoko's girls like girls videoclip was the first time i remember seeing two young women kiss and let it be romantic and not fetichization.)

pluto's lastest episode about how non-inclusive the urban environment is for people with disabilities left such an impression they removed the sign that blocked the ada path. THESE STORIES MATTER!

and these stories matter even when they are silly romcoms about assassins brothers falling in love with two dudes, or about an introverted girl who just moved to the big city and hides her identity to flirt with the pretty and popular girl from her class, or about a grumpy veterinarian who suffers an accident and switches bodies with his sister and now he has to go on a country journey to get his body back with his former best friend he's in love with.

so yes, anon, i also hope this will be a fun show you can escape to and have that dose of serotonin even if for just an hour or two of your day. and i hope that even if it makes us cry, you'll be able to cry and allow yourself to let your worries out without feeling guilty about it. that's the magic of storytelling in my opinion, and i have an inkling we'll be up to a very good one that will play with our feelings like a roller-coaster.

(also, i can't understand who says they didn't see the comedy of thk when we literally had bison telling his brother kant wants his body first and his heart second, or when style tells fadel his nipples are sensitive and fadel just pinches it with a padlock (?), or kant telling his best friend "hey if you get together with this scary killer dude, i'll give you my dad's car" and style says yes, like come on.)

[self-dx-culture-is]

Self dx culture is unmasking more as a cry for help so that people will recognise that there's something wrong with you and then immediately regretting it when they have a bad reaction. But also feeling validated because if it freaks them out then at least that's proof you're not just deluding yourself. - 🐦‍⬛

.

[simplydnp]

Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them

sometimes i watch that video just to feel something

[typemoonconfessions]

[unhingedkinfessions]

hi hi !!! its me again <3 kin walmart anon :)

after reading other peoples experiences, ive gotta talk about something that ive noticed is a pretty common thing amongst certain types of kin servers. and thats just… blacklists that are both user compiled and extremely strict.

this never made sense to me. especially if said blacklist is 400 miles long and has some of the wackiest shit on it. i actually still have access to the one from kin walmart, here are some of my favs:

- the word “bounce”

- the phrase “bouncing ball”

- mother mentions (all forms: mom, mother, etc)

- oranges (the fruit)

- school/mentions of schoolwork

- therapy

- Talking about private conversations/going to have a private conversation in a public setting

- any mention of the ocean

-

im also going to say, blacklists are fine. user compiled blacklists are okay but… i think there should be a better way to manage them. especially in spaces that have 100+ members. no hate to anyone who has these triggers either. i just think that there’s a line. there should be a line. and most times, ive found that the line is nonexistent. it should be up to user’s specifically to adjust their experience accordingly. im so sorry that i want to talk about the bouncing ball i stole from dollar general, maybe just dont read the conversation.

i understand that this take can be somewhat controversial, its why i don’t… talk about it without hiding behind anonymity. but i think, especially in kin spaces, blacklists are almost… idk.. taken advantage of?

idk this ended up being more rambly than intended, i just love talking about kin walmart and some of the whacky shit that went on there. stay tuned for our next episode; kin home depot

- kin walmart anon

NO YOU'RE SO RIGHT IS THE THING. there is a point where you need to be responsible for yourself and not place the responsibility/blame on others for not remembering every trigger on a mile long blacklist. you have to know when to step away from a conversation if there's a topic that triggers or upsets you, not demand everyone else conform to You. especially if it's extremely specific (such as the bounce example you gave) or extremely vague and frequently mentioned (moms, school, etc.). there's a lot of issues with those kinds of things and if you're in a Public space with lots of people, you gotta be responsible for your own well-being. it's different if it's a smaller group of friends, of course. there's a difference between 'friends' who continuously overstep your boundaries/comfort and large servers where people are just going to make general discussion about whatever.

the amnt of servers ive been in w mile-long user-compiled blacklists where people throw a gd Fit if you so much as allude to one of the 5000 "problematic medias" theyve put on the bl.... ok not that much actually cuz im thinking of one example in particular i was in multiple servers w. but you know. and a lot of shit can just be like. squicks or stuff they don't like, rather than something that will genuinely trigger them.

i swear some kinnies just can't manage big servers in general. once i was in a server of at Least 100 members - that was not even a kin server, it was for smth else but had a lot of kinnies - where there weren't any like, actual chat moderators (just some ppl who had permissions for unrelated reasons). there was a user-compiled blacklist that was rarely updated w requests, and one day out of boredom & frustration with the lack of organization, i went and sorted the long ass list by Category and Alphabetically. i was not even a mod i just DID THAT. the admins of that server sucked so bad they didn't know how to manage anything and were generally some of the worst people on the planet.

[goldenpinof]

@ anons about Phil and next tour: i'm not airing that, at least now

[bananonbinary]

there isn't like. some kind of officially-accessible Government Record of diagnosis somewhere, is there? I was diagnosed with autism as a little kid but between moving like 5 times, at some point my parents lost my medical records and started fresh, and they decided to just not tell future doctors i was autistic, so it's not on my current medical record with my current PCP. and I've kind of been assuming that it's not going to cause me any problems? but idk how it works, do you think there's a way that that old official DX might catch up with me somehow?

oh no, it's not as dire as all that, i didn't mean to fearmonger. also to be fair a lot of the situations it can work against you in are fairly specific? as others have pointed out, adopting children or getting custody can be harder, because we have to work AGAINST the assumption that we're helpless. and apparently some countries like new zealand can reject immigration applications if they deem you "a high cost to the health system," whatever the hell that means.

these fears are true of ANY disability diagnosis though, not just autism. it's just the ongoing struggle to justify our right to, you know, have rights.

it's not something that is likely to interfere unless you volunteer that information to people who might abuse it though (people making big legal decisions about you like social security agents, i mean), and if it's not in your current medical records, you're definitely fine.

[golyadkin]

hi, u don't know me but i saw one of ur latest post and i wanted to say, thank you- smtmes it's difficult letting go of the mindset of posting art & not getting anything for it, but ur right. It is best to start making art for urself & letting it be a reminder as an artist, what made u make art in the first place. Again, thank you for the gentle reminder! ^-^

Absolutely! I'm glad it's been helpful to some as a reminder because it breaks my heart that there are artists out there - professional or otherwise - who are losing their love of art because they've forgotten the joy it used to bring them. Having been raised by a career artist I've seen firsthand how easy it is to kill that joy and how much effort it takes to get back to, but also how worth it it is

It's so easy on here to get caught up in the race to get more notes, more reblogs, more interaction, and not even notice that it's replaced what used to drive you to create. I struggle with it a lot myself! And remember too that a break from art as a whole can also be a natural beat in the creative process. Inspiration comes and goes but art will always be there when you're ready to come back to it

[unboundtravels]

+ One, are you actually proud of your accomplishments?

+ 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 | Accepting

She's blasting Mozart's Symphony No. 25 in G Minor from the TARDIS speakers as she works on repairs whilst her crew takes some time to enjoy actually landing somewhere pleasant for once. She rubs sweat off her brow, eyebrow twitching with something as she hears a voice. Blinking softly, she looks up from her soot-covered work and her loosened blouse. Truly, The Doctor is in her full garage head stage of life, where all she wants to do is work on the console and blast Mozart. 

"EH!?" 

"Accomplishments?" She wiggled her nose, "Accomplishment. Singular." She exhales, looking back to the TARDIS and digging her hands into the roots. "I have one accomplishment." She stopped, setting the tool down. She rested her hands in her waistcoat pockets as she exhaled. 

"Stella. My granddaughter." She sighs, "She's a very prideful and... rebellious young woman, but..." Her gaze softens, "I am very proud of her, despite how hardheaded I can be... In... In my old age." She mumbled quietly, "I've worked very hard to keep her safe... from our people. One day they... they may find us, and I don't want them to harm her. Not in the way they'd harm me for my... transgressions." She moved to stare at the TARDIS console.

"I often... wonder if... Perhaps... She has begun taking more care of me then... I have of her."

Her brows furrow in sudden discomfort over the realization that she might be a burden on Stella.

[sapphicdessi]

yeah most bi women i know are nice/kind and fun to hang out with but not even one of them takes relztives with women seriously. they all act lile ut’s a reprieve from exbfs and they’re not willing to put zd mich effort in. like they will do anything for z guy but women get their mow effort hugh expectations version.

i couldn’t date most bi women because i don’t wznt to like hear about all the wild shit she did with some guy before she settled for me as a sade option basically because that’s how all the bi women i know have talked about their gfs.

it's the truth. they don't as a majority really value, appreciate or see women as romantic partners or respect them as they do men. it has to do with the homophobia and misogyny they will never unpack or be accountable for yet still will feel entitled to lesbians body, time, attention, and effort. or proceed to pretend they were serious or could have been with women for attention and validation after they find that perfect bare minimum male when they treated women like crap or as temp. and yup they always never shut up about men they date or have sex with in detail even when you tell them to stop imo. and imo some don't think cheating on women is even cheating bc they're with a woman and not a man :/

[discluded]

I don't know how MA do it. They're the peaceful, respectful and loving people who repeatedly say their number 1 priority is make other people happy and spread positivity yet these couple months they had to endure so much drama and ill-intentioned attacks (fake rumors, cyberbullying, homoph*bic, classist attacks. etc) I feel so exhausted on their behalf cause I know they're aware of what it's been said. I know this one of downsides of fame and I trust their mature mindset to take this bs for what it is but I can't stop myself from feeling sad for them cause they don't deserve this treatment. Tss and antis are plague to this fandom I wish we could eradicate. Mile and Apo deserve so much better from their own fandom!!

[cowardlycowboys]

but if I say to kill yourself you fucking moron I'll get suspended