#and you need to work on Your Individual Behavior so that people would tolerate you. It IS your fault' arguments

[brittlebutch]

it does feel a little bit like. those posts that go 'the only way to get through life is to go out and meet people and make friends and be in a community etc etc etc',,, i'm not saying they're fundamentally Wrong but also it does kind of feel like those people have never endured the horror of going to community after community after community and being quietly excluded from all of them for the crime of being Too Weird, sorry to say it. sometimes when people reply 'it isn't that easy' they're not just being tar pits, sometimes it really Isn't that easy

[autball]

Part 1 of a 5 part series about the ways harmful practices are being made to sound more appealing through the co-opting of language and how to spot the differences between helpful and harmful approaches.

The language of the Neurodiversity Paradigm is soooo hot right now. Everyone from ABA centers to social media creators are adopting it to sound like they’re safer and more knowledgeable than they are.

But you can’t just pop some neuro-word in place of “autism” and stop picking on a couple of Autistic traits and call yourself “Neuro-affirming.” That’s the low-hanging fruit of #neurodiversitylite.

REAL Neuro-affirming practice comes from a complete shift in mindset, unlearning all the harmful things you once thought were true, and learning about all the things you never even knew you didn’t know. It’s also an ongoing process, not just something you can learn from reading an article or taking a single training.

ABA practitioners are probably the worst offenders right now, mainly because they know they need to rebrand as more and more people learn about what ABA really does to people, but also because their practices in particular are THE furthest away from being Neuro-affirming compared to any other discipline.

They are not the only ones, though, so be wary of #neurodiversitylite in ANY resource aimed at autistic people that appears to be saying all the right things, including: OT, speech, play/talk therapy, early intervention, education, your favorite parenting expert or social media personality who just discovered the world of Neurodiversity, etc.

Look beyond someone’s use of the “right” words or symbols. Do they talk about teaching people to fit into the normative world, or how to more safely and authentically navigate a world not made for them? Do they talk about making the person easier to deal with, or making life easier for the person? Do they concentrate on external behaviors, or are they more concerned with internal experiences? Does most of what they know come from people who studied autistic people from the outside looking in, or from actual autistic people who can speak from lived experience? And are they even using the words right??

The good news is that there are SO MANY resources out there BY autistic and otherwise Neurodivergent people for anyone who wants to learn how to make their practice *actually* more Neuro-affirming. SO MANY!! Three such resources are featured in the second panel from Autism Level UP, Neurowild, and Kieran Rose-The Autistic Advocate. (Big thanks to them for letting me include their work in the cartoon!)

EXPLANATION OF WHAT’S WRONG IN THE “FAKE” PANEL:

- The phrase “individuals with neurodiversity” misuses the word “neurodiversity” and utilizes person first language. The Neuro-affirming phrase would be “neurodivergent people,” or “autistic people” if they specifically meant autistic people.

- Getting rid of puzzle piece stuff is merely a surface level first step, not an end point.

- Not forcing eye contact and allowing hand-flapping are also only surface level first steps. The fact that they still target other stims means they do not understand the importance or functions of stimming, making them incapable of being Neuro-affirming.

- Social skills training aimed at ND people usually centers NT social skills as the “right way” and frames ND social skills as the “wrong way,” making them shame inducing and not at all affirming.

- “Tolerating distress” most often means “suppressing distress.” Neuro-affirming practice would concentrate on identifying and avoiding triggers, helping the person stay regulated, and teaching the person how to accommodate and advocate for their needs so that they are not distressed in the first place.

- “Sensory desensitization” is not a thing that can be done to someone without harm. It is usually done with exposure therapy, which should not be done TO someone who cannot consent. It is also inappropriate for sensory issues, which tells us they don’t understand sensory processing differences at all.

- The posters: Whole Body Listening is based on neuronormative expectations; “They say I’m neurodiverse” is incorrect usage of the word “neurodiverse” (it should be “neurodivergent”), and “but I say I’m perfect” insinuates that being “neurodiverse” is a bad thing, while the use of the rainbow infinity symbol with such a non-affirming message adds to the dissonance; the ABC’s of Behavior is an indicator that ABA/behaviorism will be used, which is the opposite of Neuro-affirming practice.

EXPLANATION OF WHAT’S RIGHT IN THE “REAL” PANEL:

- The person accurately explains what Neuro-affirming practice looks like, without needing to use (or misuse) any Neurodiversity “buzzwords.”

- Bumper, A Whole Body Learner, is a resource created by Autism Level UP that encourages people to discover what it looks like for them to be ready to learn, acknowledging that there is no one right way to appear attentive.

- The poster by Neurowild indicates that they value difference and neurodiversity and that they know there is no one right way of being.

- They use the Advoc8 Framework, a resource created by Kieran Rose, The Autistic Advocate. Using this framework means they want to help the people they work with achieve Agency, Autonomy, (Self) Acceptance, and Authenticity.

[incorrectbatfam]

Do you have any angsty headcannons of Damian Wayne

Sometimes I wonder if he has any insecurities about being the youngest and the fact that he's fifth (sixth? seventh?) in a long line of batkids who have already done pretty much anything he can think of. Blowing up the League of Assassins? Tim did that. Starting a superhero team? Sure, Damian's done that, but it's kinda derivative of his siblings'. Dying? That's literally Jason's whole schtick. With older siblings, he's gonna invariably end up with some hand-me-downs and it's a lot harder to carve his own unique identity.

He's over the whole "blood son" thing, but he can't help but feel a little jealous when Bruce talks so fondly about the others' Robin days, meanwhile Damian is still referred to as "having potential" and needing to work on this or that. It's like when your siblings have a bunch of trophies and you know you're just as capable, but you haven't been given the chance.

As Robin, everything he did was measured up against his siblings. Dick stuck the landing better. Tim was more careful with evidence. Steph decoded the riddle faster. Jason could take on twice as many goons. Though Damian tries to do things his own way, Robin never feels like something that's fully his.

Even though the Waynes can buy ten of everything, he still ends up with some of his siblings' stuff—Dick's sweatshirt, Jason's books, Tim's old camera. Damian can try and pretend they belong to him, but then he comes across a scribble in the margins or an old picture of Young Justice and it's a reminder that he's still tethered to the people who came before him.

And maybe that's why he still picks fights and gives people a hard time. At his age, he'll do anything it takes to stand out so someone notices him, and being difficult accomplishes that. As an immediate result, he gains individuality by being known as the Demon Brat. And because he gets that instant gratification, he keeps doing it over and over.

It's no secret that he and Tim aren't always on good terms. I think part of it has to do with Tim being the next closest predecessor and Damian has an easier time picking him apart compared to facing off against Dick or Jason. Because of that, though, I think Tim would be the first to pick up on why Damian is this way.

Do they communicate about it? Mmm not yet. This is the most emotionally stunted family we're talking about, so instead of indulging Damian's behavior, Tim flat-out ignores it and it's one of those instances where ignoring works because Damian stops, at least with him.

But then he moves on to Steph, but her tolerance is way lower than Tim's and she lets Damian know that. She straight-up tells him, "Hey, quit being obnoxious. It works now because people are going easy on you, but one day someone's gonna screw you up and you won't have a Batman to run to."

He doesn't really believe her because 1) he was never one to care what strangers think about him and 2) getting the job done was more important than being liked to him.

Cut to school being back in session. Damian mainly keeps to himself—partly to lay low, partly because he never got along with other kids before and didn't see the point in trying again. His grades are stellar and for the first month or so, teachers praise him all around for being a model student.

But that eventually slows down as his straight-A's and thesis-sounding papers become routine—it's his norm, and teachers stop pointing it out as something remarkable.

And just like before: when being Robin stops working, be the Demon Brat.

He keeps his grades up, but the teachers start sending emails home about things like chewing gum and using his phone in class. Every time, Bruce just reminds him to behave.

One time Bruce offhandedly mentions how Jason was a well-behaved student and Damian can't help but think, "That's the point. I'm not Jason."

The emails pile up, now with new problems like extended bathroom breaks, breaking the dress code, and even one incident where he forged himself a note to get out of class early.

But the thing that lands him in detention is a snide comment to the wrong kid that spirals into a schoolyard brawl. And even though Damian pulls his punches, it still ends in bruises and a bloody nose, and it takes two teachers and the football coach to break it up.

And just his luck, Dick's in Bludhaven, Alfred has a doctor's appointment, Tim and Bruce are at a business meeting, and Jason wants to stay out of this, so guess who's there to pick him up at the end of the afternoon.

Steph doesn't beat around the bush. Her first response is, "What did I tell you?" And it pisses him off because she's right.

That evening, they go on a long drive where she eventually gets an explanation out of him. And she gets him, 100%. She tells him how she had big shoes to fill as Batgirl and how she always compared herself to Cass and Babs.

Then she says: "Robin isn't a personality you grow into or break out of. It's just a costume. Who you are underneath is who Robin becomes."

For good measure though, she goes to Bruce later like, "Hey, do you need a laxative? 'Cause you're so emotionally constipated that you forgot your son is his own person, not a work in progress or extension of someone else." Then she swipes his credit card and takes Damian to the arcade to make him feel better since he still has a week's worth of detention plus Alfred giving him double the chores.

After that, people will still occasionally slip up, but when Dick ruffles his hair and says they'll ace a mission "the Damian way," it's reason enough to believe that things are looking up.

[strang3lov3]

Edit 4/5/24 - Aya’s taken my fic down, and I promised to take down my posts about her plagiarism if she’d apologize to me for hurting me. She didn’t, so these posts are staying up. I blocked her and let her know she’s more than welcome to send an ask from a side blog apologizing. This behavior is unacceptable.

Update about my plagiarized fic/ayadrafts (original post here)

Tw-fatphobia, violent threats

First, I wanna say thank you to everyone who is showing up and sticking up for me. Eddie stans, Joel stans, writers and readers both. I love and appreciate you so much. I know a good amount of you have reported ayadrafts and that’s awesome. If anyone in the comments is able to let others know how to do the same, that would be greatly appreciated.

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how to update this so I think we’ll just go through the timeline.

Explanation below.

Last time I talked about this yesterday where I wasn’t responding to an ask, I showed screenshots of ayadrafts’ messages with others, how she laughed at both them and me. I posted and reblogged with screenshots of countless deleted comments. That was in late afternoon. During that time, people repeatedly commented on Ayadrafts’ post calling out her blatant theft of my work and even alerted blogs that had reblogged/liked her post that it was stolen from me. Ayadrafts has admitted to stealing my fic, but simply does not care or feel bad.

What I did not see and what I do not have screenshots of is Ayadrafts telling individuals to k*ll themselves. It seems that she gets a comment, replies to it, and then deletes both within seconds. Multiple people, both friends and strangers have let me know that this was taking place.

As if she could not get any lower. Laughing in my face, mocking my work, and then telling people to k*ll themselves? Absolutely abhorrent and frankly, fucking cruel.

But apparently others who were defending me were cruel right back to her. From what I’ve heard, I believe people who were commenting remained fairly civil, even if ayadrafts herself did not like the comments. I’ve received asks about this and I’m disappointed to hear that people were in her asks calling her a fat cunt and other abhorrent things. That’s a low blow and does not reflect me or my values.

Believe me, I understand the anger. I’ve never met someone so antisocial and uncaring. I am angry too. Fucking livid. But that doesn’t give me or anyone else the right to say something just as heinously cruel back to her. I don’t condone anyone being sexist, fatphobic, homophobic, racist, or hateful on my behalf. None of these things will ever be tolerated by me, even if they’re being used to “defend” me. Not okay with that in the slightest.

Take the high road, don’t give this person any more ammo to be any more cruel and atrocious than she’s already being.

After this, ayadrafts disabled replies on her post of my stolen fic for the night and everything quieted down for the most part. Today, I see that she’s got those replies back on and is likely looking for another fight, blocking and unblocking people. Because, like I said yesterday, it is evident that she has a clear need for negative attention, and all of this is a game to her.

If you wanna participate in that game, you’ve got my consent. Spam the shit out of her, annoy her through posts like this and this. I don’t care, because frankly I am past the point of sympathy with her, and I think I’ve been way too forgiving up to this point. Maybe she’ll cave and delete my fic like I’ve repeatedly asked her to do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But it’s entirely possible she won’t, and that she’ll double down even harder, and that by continuing to fuel the fire she’ll only debase herself further and in doing so make us all feel worse. Were you all drained watching this go down yesterday? Because I sure as shit was.

So at some point I might ask you all that we just drop it, for both the sake of my mental health and your own. I think we’re all unbelievably hurt and upset, but we need to be able to walk away at some point. The reality is, we can keep this going forever but hateful, spiteful people like this don’t often thrive long without something to feed on.

I’ve reported her post multiple times, tweeted at tumblr, and I’ve heard nothing but crickets. It is what it is.

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Spicy plz I’m so bored ;-;— could you grace me with some headcanons for yandere America with an s/o who seems oblivious to his tendencies but is actually just. Pretty okay with it? Like they feel like this is the best they’re gonna get so they may as well make the most of it? Despite my casual tone I’m very okay with you ripping my heart out with angst or despair in any way you see fit <3

Probably not my best work but still hope you like it!

Okay warning ya'll this post is SPICY also it goes over abusive relationships so if that's not for you I suggest that you turn away now.

Your problems all began when you were let into the real world after college. It would be easy, they said. You just needed your degree, they said. Then it would be ‘smooth sailing’. 

Sure. SURE. That was a load of total bullshit. You now had to battle tooth and nail just to have the basic necessities barely. Your future looked bleak. ‘The Dream’ that originally you wanted to achieve: Get married, have two kids, have a house you owned, and maybe a fancy car that yu could show off and keep up with the Joneses. Best them even. 

You simply wanted more time with your family and friends, so you avoided applying to ghost jobs and attending interviews that ultimately led nowhere. You did freelance work like writing gigs, catering, and the occasional art commission in order to keep your head above the water. 

Some days were easy, but most were difficult. Keeping the tiny flame ignited within you to keep you going was a 24 hr 7-day 7-day-a-week kind of job. With each passing day, finding the will to exist was getting harder. 

‘Why do anything if I’m constantly feeling empty?’ 

You felt as though you were on a pitch-black road where your flashlight could only reach 2 ft in front of you. 

That was until Alfred burst into your life in the early morning sun rays that broke through the deep blue-black of the nighttime sky. His outward warmth brought the birds to life and made the flowers blossom. He was the bright person you needed to be around you. Even if that meant you tolerated his sinister tendencies that you commonly wrote off as him being an excellent protective boyfriend in a somewhat twisted way. 

Alfred always knows where you are. He ensures the Find My iPhone tracker is activated and shares your location with him at all times. When you first saw it, and he didn’t even bother to ask or even tell you that he did so… You simply ignored it. He was your boyfriend, and that’s what good boyfriends do…..protect their highly vulnerable S/O and part of that is knowing where you are at all times. 

Things don’t escalate if you’re incredibly passive and are compliant with the rules that Alfred sets for you. You will have a lack of privacy. He gets far more possessive if individuals (s) in your midst are suspicious or seem to be far too friendly for his liking. You become afraid of him when he raises his voice while interrogating you about one of your friends or acquaintances. Alfred’s fist will have made another gaping hole in the wall, which sometimes makes you fear for your life or your family. You would nearly jump out of your skin every time you came home & you saw his infamous frown combined with sapphire blues holding back famished flames, needy for more people to devour if they dared to come in between the two of you. 

Anyone who dared to challenge him on any of his behavior would be silenced swiftly. Most of the time, his victims would never be seen again; other times, they’d end up with some horrific injury or illness that prevented his targets from having the willpower to fight back or squeal. 

You always wondered why it had become much more difficult for you to maintain genuine friendships. You glossed over the fact that Alfred demanded 110% of your attention. This makes it hard for you to have a life outside of him. He also has enforced a curfew on you. 

‘He does that so some creep doesn’t try to kidnap me.’ That would be one of the excuses that you tell yourself in order to excuse his behavior. Besides, how long has it been since you were able to get a date before him? Two or three years, probably more, since so much time has passed since you’ve had a serious long-term relationship. You couldn’t really remember at this point. 

Whenever he objects to you leaving the house, 98% of the time, you employ some tactics when dealing with him. Negotiation. You primarily used this tactic when the effects of becoming stir-crazy have become unbearable. You feared that you would be swallowed up by his home and never seen again. 

“Alfred….” your eyes will search the hardwood floor for the perfect combination of words that will assist in getting you to some level of freedom. 

“I really want some fresh air….and…it’s been forever since we’ve had a cute date on in the park….or going to my favorite restaurant that is on the promenade….” Your eyes cautiously climb up to meet his. You braced yourself for the possible avalanche that was going to careen towards you if you didn’t plant your ice ax in neutral snow. 

“Where I first began to fall in love with you truly!” You blurted out with partially feigned fervor. Enough energy was behind your words that you could see Alfred’s shoulder relax. His freshly trimmed eyebrows were raised in curiosity and disbelief. However, he wasn’t entirely convinced yet. You needed to stroke his ego a little more. He needed reassurance that you were utterly smitten with him. His continued silence was a sign for you to continue with your argument. 

“I know when the last sun rays of the day hit your magnificent sky blues, I know that we were meant to be together.” It will feel like an eternity has passed before Alfred finally responds. 

“Alright, babe.” 

You hear him rise from his spot on the couch & make his way towards you. 

“We can go tonight, but you’ve got to get dressed in something better than that~” Alfred will have pinned you to the front door as he whispers in your ear his other demands he has for you. Usually, it’s that of a sexual nature. Alfred does have you do things like: have you wear a skimpy outfit while you iron his clothes, and give him head while he reads comics or plays video games. You’re not allowed to deny him anything that he asks of you when you work out a ‘deal’ with him. If you do you’ll have to do double of whatever it is along with being chained to the bed for a few days. 

Essentially dear reader you have Stockholm Syndrome. Regardless of what torture he puts you through, you wouldn’t want your life any other way. After all, it was Alfred who brought forth the morning sun in your life which felt as though you were cursed to be within a state of eternal midnight. 

Who were you to complain when he saved you from being on the streets whose jagged teeth had the flesh of the unfortunate on them but always eager for more.

So what if you were a little traumatized?

So what if you sometimes you had scars whenever you did something to set the sleeping volcano off?

It was better than being awash amidst the sea of people who merely became a number to add to a statistical data set. 

Alfred does weaponize sex a lot within your relationship. Not only is it a bargaining tool whenever you are desperate to meet your social needs as a human, but you use it to stop his occasional rampages, get some level of privacy (for example, showering by yourself or being able to keep a dairy without him snooping in it) 

Since Alfred is an exhibitionist & will never turn down an opportunity to showcase his power over you, he will have you do extreme things with him. He’ll demand that you have sex in public with him, like in the park, at a movie theatre, at Disney World on a dark ride, or even on the top of the roof of a government building. If it’s risky as hell with an epic story to tell, then Alfred will want to rail you there. Bonus: he will want you to be butt-naked in the car as well. Alfred will want you to feel every ounce of embarrassment, shame, & every emotion in between that makes you feel vulnerable and powerless. However, this punishment will only occur if you’re stupid enough to try and plan an escape away from him or say something that majorly punctures his ego. 

No matter how much he made you cry, made you bleed after sex, siphoned you off from your support system, and kept you firmly under his thumb… your low self-esteem told you that this was what you deserved. This was normal. This was how all couples behaved.

[harloqui]

on your recent statements I have two semi questions-

1. are there any groups not known to be harmful? how are people collaborating to better understand this stuff?

2. if one does unknowingly end up in one of these harmful groups, what should they do?

The two types of groups I've found to not be harmful are a) groups that don't impose one way of shifting, meaning that different views and beliefs are allowed, and b) groups that are very reality focused and place little focus on the supernatural. Neither should be packs or "family-focused", they should be more like online forums for shifters to talk in, and physically shifting (or escaping one's humanity) should not be the goal of the group in question. The mod team should be able to deal with the standard issues that might arise moderating a forum such as people looking to cause confusion, kicking out trolls and creeps, discouraging dangerous ideas, etc. Skeptics should be allowed to enter and talk, provided they're following the rules and not harassing members. (Note: by non-harmful I mean not encouraging unhealthy practices, forcing rituals or "making people shifters" or generally being cultish.)

It also shouldn't need to be said, but the groups should also be free of racism, sexism, ableism, queerphobia, suicide-baiting, etc. It should also be free of dodgy behavior - nobody should be asking for say, nude pictures of you or wanting you to do inappropriate things to others. These aren't shifter-specific issues, but if a group has these problems it's just unhealthy irregardless of shifting being there.

A good example of A would be a site like Kin-Walkers, or WerewolfsWebsite. Both sites were open to a variety of views and members (preventing an echo chamber), and although shifting was a focus of both sites, the physical world was just as important. You had members talking about finding time for the supernatural in-between school and work, or how to navigate adult life as a were, and becoming balanced with one's animal side. Kin-Walkers was just as focused on spirituality and shamanism, so for some that was something that preoccupied them more than shifting physically.

This group style might be undesirable for people who are less interested in the wider supernatural though, or who want a purely rational, scientific explanation for shifting. They also might let in individuals who are a little bit "out there" from time to time, so if you have a low tolerance for what might be termed "fluffy" behavior, that might not be a group for you.

A good example of B would be Werewolf-Shifters amino, or the old I am a Real Werewolf group of Experience Project. Although shifters were there, shifting was considered an undesirable trait, and most dissuaded people from even romanticizing it. Most shifters saw themselves as human, shifting was a rare event (if it ever happened at all) and most lived as humans and emphasized human lives. When shifting was talked about, it was talked about in almost purely scientific terms - you can't be turned or changed, it's likely genetic, it coincides with the end of puberty, you can't decide when to shift, etc. Because of this, many of the conversations in these groups trend towards ordinary life matters instead of strictly focusing on the supernatural.

This group style might be good for those who like a more scientific approach to shifting, though a lot in these groups tend to be older and prone to being a bit skeptical of newer concepts as a result. (Ex. many are skeptical of therians/otherkin, plurals, pop-culture pagans, etc.) If you're not fond of being grilled or queried on these things, that might not be a group for you.

Generally, if you can find a shifting forum or group that isn't a pack, you're onto a great start.

If you do unknowingly end up in an unhealthy, harmful, or toxic group... first, you should try to leave as soon as possible. If it's a discord server or forum, find the best way to leave and do it all at once. Delete all your posts if you can, and get screenshots of any offending behavior if necessary. If you know the times the mods tend to come on, find the time when they're not on, and do what you can to erase your identity. Block all the members if you have to, if you're afraid they might try to contact you or harass you.

If people are pressuring you to do dangerous substances or rituals, or recommending them, bring it up on the forum or tell the mods. In a healthy group this is usually swiftly dealt with, in harmful groups they aren't.

If they have information on you that might be compromising (such as addresses, photos, or other ID) and they intend to use it against you, get their info, block them and report them to the authorities - what they're doing may be illegal at that point. It might also be good to inform anybody that you know and trust, since they might be able to help you through it. If the group plans to contact others with the photos to humiliate you, get to those people first and tell them what's going on - that way if that group tries contacting them, it has no effect.

If you know the group in person, my advice is much the same, but with a stronger focus on contacting the police, since they're more likely to be useful here.

Remember, being a shifter doesn't excuse any harmful or bad behavior. Even if someone proves their claims 100% and seems sincere, that doesn't give them the right to manipulate you or abuse you.

I'd also encourage you to check yourself and see if you're doing fine in a particular group. Even if it isn't objectively harmful, some groups just don't work well for certain people, and that's fine. If it's an otherwise healthy group, it should allow you to leave without much fuss.

[munchkinfox-the-deviant-fox]

Thoughts on the Bros' Sexual Behaviors

I have been having some thoughts and I figured why not share them with the class! Also, please give me your thoughts as well! I like hearing from other people!

Ahoy, 18+ NSFW ahead.

Also, Jesus Christ, this got much longer than intended.

First off, I'm not going to get into their true demonic forms. I'm just going to focus talking about their mostly human forms, otherwise this post is going to be even longer and I might cry.

Secondly, I subscribe to the idea that demons go through heats/ruts. The frequency varies from each demon type/sub-type, but it can range from yearly to every 100 years or so (with their long lifespans, can you imagine having a heat/rut ever few months?!).

Third, I partake in the thought that the brothers do have sexual relations between each other. Not all of them, but it works for some of them. I don't think angels and demons have the same concern as humans do when it comes to "family" considering angels are created by God and there are a few different ways which demons can be made. Though, non of their relationships are romantic. Sexual and intimate, but not romantic.

So in case that wasn't clear enough... Content Warning: demoncest.

Lucifer

So my thoughts on Lucifer have changed quite a lot and I've kinda settled on the thought that he is definitely a Switch.

[In my world/story] Lucifer and Diavolo have an intimate, sexual, non-romantic (not yet at least huehehehe) relationship. There is a level of trust and respect there that Lucifer has not experienced since Michael, but look at how that relationship frayed and fell apart. It's because of that trust and respect that he can let go of his need for control, need to be perfect and fulfill that image of the Avatar of Pride, and instead just... be.

When Lucifer steps in a dominant role, control is absolutely necessary. Brats will not be tolerated. Knowing and witnessing his partner do as he says is both comforting and arousing, no matter what he puts his partner through.

Kinks & Fetishes:

+Sadism +Control +Orgasm Denial (giving) +Behavior Modification/Obedience Training (giving) +Crops & Whips +Sensory Deprivation (giving & receiving) +Slave/Master dynamic (specifically Lucifer as the Dom/Master) +Covert Bondage

Lucifer's flavor of sadism focuses on pain, as punishment and reward. Of directing his partner, to the point where his partner changes their behavior for him. That's where the behavior mod/obedience comes into play and it extends to his life outside the bedroom. Having absolute control of his partner and their lifestyle brings him the utmost pleasure.

Mammon

Mammon's and Lucifer's relationship is so interesting and my thoughts continue developing in my head about these two. Lucifer's punishments for his brother cater to each individual, but Mammon's punishment is unique. Like, who physically ties up their sibling and strings them up as a punishment for being a pain in the ass?

Mammon, one hundo percento, is a Sub. He really enjoys taking care of his partner on one end and fulfilling their needs, and on the other end being denied and humiliated.

Mammon, being the caregiver he is, recognizes the stress Lucifer deals with and that he adds to that at times. Lucifer would never share the burden of his responsibilities, so Mammon gives Lucifer an outlet when things start to bubble over. Their relationship doesn't always take on a sexual tone; more so Lucifer's release comes from giving punishment, and it just so turns out, it's not the worst thing in the world for Mammon.

Mammon has also, over the millennia, gotten himself a number of piercings (gold, of course). We're talking nipple piercings and a slew of dick piercings: Reverse Prince Albert, Ampallang, Dydoe, Frenum, a Deep Shaft piercing, and 3 Frenum ladder piercings along the underside (technically making it a Jacob's Ladder)

Kinks:

+Masochism +Humiliation/Degradation (receiving)+Bondage/Ropeplay +Nipple Play +Service +Edging & Orgasm Denial +Praise

Mammon's humiliation/degradation kink is also intricately tied to his praise kink. Unlike Levi's who thrives on being degraded verbally, Mammon's degradation is specifically tied to the physical aspect: being played with or put in embarrassing positions. I'll emphasize, verbal degradation is the biggest of no-nos. Instead tease this man about how much he's actually enjoying himself and praise him!

He loves to be made into a panting mess. Restrain him (he is such a rope bunny), tease him, work him up and then tell him he can't come until after you do, and your spirit will be exorcised from your body. It helps that Mammon also actively wants to take care of you first.

Leviathan

I have a hard time fleshing out thoughts of Leviathan due to having a more difficult time connecting with him than most of the other brothers (an issue I also have with Asmo), but I still have some thoughts. Personally, I headcanon Levi as being asexual. He's not sex repulsed (he is, I believe, a sex-positive asexual or even a Grey Ace), but he does have some anxiety around sex when it comes to other people. For him sex (masturbation) is an experience that's akin to him playing video games. When he's in an isolationist/depressive mood or when he's frustrated sex/masturbation is a feel-good stress relief. If he develops a relationship with someone that has enough trust and interest build up, well, having a Player 2 for that kind of game opens up a whole new level.

I am a big believer in double dick Levi. I actually headcanon that he has a human standard external penis and that his second one is actually internal and comes out when he's stimulated.

Levi doesn't so much care for power dynamics, more so, he needs a partner that is patient and can work through the anxieties he has. He will need praise and encouragement because every movement he makes he'll feel like he's doing something wrong. Hence, at least at the start of the relationship, Levi will need your guidance and you to take the lead.

But then again, that boy do love to be degraded.

Also: bioluminescent cum.

Kinks:

+Humiliation/Degradation (receiving)+Costumes/Dressing up +Role Play

Something that will help ease Leviathan into his own skin (ha, snake pun) is role playing. Together, talk about what kinda of scene you two want to set up, decide on roles, and watch this man flourish.

Satan

Satan is a dom.

Satan hasn't had many encounters or experiences due to some... unfortunate past situations. So to even broach this topic, Satan has to have an immense amount of trust built with you. He is so careful the first time you two are intimate, especially being human. He's also always eager to try new things, wanting new and different experiences.

Kinks:

+Brat Handler +Exhibitionism +Pet Play +Primal +Take Down and Capture +Chains

I could see Satan trying out interrogation play, taking on the role of the detective interrogating the criminal, though he might or might not enjoy the "torture" aspect of the scene.

Satan will thrive if his partner is a brat. He enjoys the challenge of trying to tame them and if his partner submits too easily, it is likely to kill the thrill.

The pet play ties in with chains and cages. He loves watching his pet whine and beg for him whether chained to the wall or kept restricted in their cage. Collars and leashes, and cute little plugs that have an enchantment on them that allows them to move the tail attached as if it were their own. And of course he has to show off how good his cute little pet is, how well they whine and beg for him, how well they take his cock. Look it how jealous they (Lucifer, because he has to flaunt his obedient pet to him) are of him being able to play with his precious pet.

Once Satan becomes comfortable with knowing he won't hurt his partner, then he will be able to fully lose himself in his partner. To fall mindlessly into his baser instincts and just fuck and breed and enjoy. If you feel comfortable with it, Satan would love to let you lose in the woods surrounding the house, him having to hunt you down before he can have you.

Asmodeus

As I mentioned, I struggle with Asmo and fleshing him out as a more in-depth character, but even still I have some thoughts.

Asmo I think always takes a dominant role with sex, though he can jump between top and bottom on a whim. His preferences are flighty in the moment and so he can't rely on his partner to always keep on top of his moment-to-moment needs. Which isn't a bad thing: Asmo knows what he wants and he enjoys taking it. Though, Asmo and consent are a whole ass other topic I won't get into in this post.

A lot of fans of Asmo really downplay or just completely forgo Asmo's notoriety for being a narcissist, and again, that is totally fine! But speaking for myself as someone who really enjoys working and playing with the moral and ethical differences between human and demon society and the WHOLE slew of shit that comes with, I salivate at the opportunity that comes with exploring Asmo's narcissism. The depth and potential for character growth!!!

Kinks:

+Bimbofication (to partner)+Cuckolding (enjoys basking in the display that someone else's partner prefers him)+Exhibition & Voyeurism (anything that includes people watching and adoring him) +Needle Play +Objectification +Praise

Asmo really loves pushing the boundaries of his partner(s) and definitely has a bimbofication kink. He derives so much satisfaction and pleasure seeing how he has brought so much pleasure to his partner(s) that they are pretty much nonfunctional and can't rub 2 brain cells together.

Asmo thoroughly enjoys cuckolding (consensual or not). Having someone watch as he pleasures their partner better than they ever could, that their partner wants him more than them... It pretty much comes to there extent where Asmo can be considered a Zelophile: someone who takes sexual gratification and arousal due to jealousy; specifically for Asmo, someone’s jealousy over him.

I played with the idea of Asmo and needle play

Asmo enjoys the fact that others will allow him to use them however he wishes, including using them as objects or furniture. The needle play actually fits into this. Part of the needle play comes from his demonic scorpion form, the visual sink of the skin dipping from the needle just does something to him and he can't really explain it, but there's also an artistic/beauty element for Asmo. Depending on whether he wants to inflict pain or not, Asmo will use acupuncture needles.

Beelzebub

I see a lot of people headcanon Beel as not having much sexual desire and while I TOTALLY respect that, I whole heartedly disagree. I honestly think he's second only to Asmo in terms of libido. Granted, in human terms libido is affected by a lot of things, most which I kinda feel mirror demon biology. One of these things is exercise, and the amount this man works out and keeps athletic is ridiculous! Exercising and athleticism boost testosterone, which has been shown to have a direct correlation with a higher desire for sex.

So this man be hungry and in more ways than one.

He doesn't really play in the dom/sub power dynamic wheelhouse. For Beel, sex is more of a sensory experience, a means to fulfill his body's needs, and the bigger the mess made, the better the experience for him. I think the need for mess stems from his demonic traits.

Hygrophilia and Sloshing differ in that, sloshing deals with non-bodily fluids compared to Hygrophilia and bodily fluids. "Mess fetishists enjoy the mess created by sexual fluids, both male and female fluid. They may use the fluids as lubes, to drink, to “paint” on their partner’s body, or passing it back and forth orally (snowballing)."

Piss and scat don't bother Beel and don't take away from the experience, but he doesn't absolutely need them. He recognizes most people (humans & demons) don't typically enjoy interacting with that, but if his partner wants to incorporate it, then they can. For Beel, cum is his biggest bodily fluid that he enjoys covering him and his partner in, pretty much tying with blood and gore. Though, again, his human might not enjoy being covered in viscera.

When it comes to Sloshing, it's always and only food items.

However, for Beel, sex is an intimate act so he absolutely does not take part in dalliances. So if he needs a partner, he most often turns to Belphegor, and if not his twin then Asmo.

Kinks:

+Creampie +Mess fetish/Hygrophilia +Wet & Messy/Sloshing +Size +Inflation

Both Beel and Belph have knots.

Belphegor

Belphegor has the lowest of the sexual drives of the brothers (thanks depression!) due in part to being the Avatar of Sloth. I cannot put into words how much I love @thalfox's breakdown of the sin of Sloth [link to her post here]. It really helped me to have a better image and understanding of Belphegor.

But that doesn't mean he is never DTF, it just takes some work to get him in the mood. Belphegor is a Switch and teasing this man will either have the effect of activating Brat Mode and he will resist and crawl out of your reach, or it will activate Sadist Mode, and he will, again, resist and keep out of your reach. You will not be getting what you want if he has any say in the matter.

Belphie will always enjoy not having to do work, but sometimes he enjoys forcing his will on his partner and making them cry and suffer, making them a babbling mess hungry for his touch and for his cock. To be clear though, unlike Asmo, as long as Belphegor cares for his partner, he will always respect consent.

Kinks:

+Sadism +Orgasm Denial (giving) +Breeding +Entrapment +Consensual Non-Consent

Belphie's sadism is both physical and emotional/mental sadism.

The breeding kink ties in with the entrapment: forcing his partner to be tied to him in a way they cannot escape from. Plus, he kind of likes the idea of a little squirt running around...

[caffeineandsociety]

Every single bias and bigotry is perpetuated by convincing even many of their most fervent holders that they don't hold them. Ironically, it is in part the knowledge that bigotry is bad that helps to perpetuate systemic inequalities.

Why?

Well, the logic is simple. Bigotry is bad. Basically everyone knows that bigotry is bad. The baseline is to agree that bigotry is bad. To say otherwise is shocking. Upsetting. No one wants to be that guy. A lot of them know the paradox of tolerance/the nazi bar problem and thus will agree that the solution to dealing with A Racist or A Misogynist or whatever is to ostracize them because their bullshit does not fit in polite society.

Therefore, when you tell some random person that they just did A Racist/Sexist/Ableist/etc. Thing, they're likely to get defensive - because, no matter how socially condoned that thing is, because the baseline is to agree that these things are bad, it ends up coming off as "this is not a socially condoned behavior, this is not cultural and/or systemic, this is something only TERRIBLE HORRIBLE INDIVIDUALS could EVER do, get out of my bar before you drive away all the non-evil customers!"

The idea that there are levels between "absolute paragon of equality who never commits even the slightest microaggression" and "A Bigot looking to hurt people whose very presence as a person should not be tolerated by anyone" is completely alien to...a LOT of people.

It's a widespread problem, though I suspect this may be especially hard to shake in the US, because "go ahead, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, individual solution your way out of systemic problems, you can do it!" runs horrifyingly deep in our culture.

But worse than that, consider what individual biases may look like - they're usually obfuscated under one or more layers of abstraction. Plenty of people who call themselves good non-racist citizens still tend to move away from Black men on the bus - it's not because he's Black, they say, he just Looks Angry and Intimidating and Shifty. And the thing is - the overwhelming majority of people who would say things like that believe it! They well and truly believe that the "hostility" they sense in EVERY Black man they see has NOTHING to do with the fact that they're Black men!

And a lot of people who think that work in HR.

And if you call them on that bias, they will believe that you're accusing them of being UNIQUELY awful - not picking up common social biases, but the complete opposite, creating a new terrible evil idea in their individual horrible evil person brain.

This is why "racists dni" is such a ridiculous thing to put on a profile - some 95% of even the most aggressive capital-R Racists do not think they're racist; they will swear up and down that the way they treat people has nothing to do with race; the most they might admit to is "its Those People's damn culture, they're so loud and rude, I know they have the capacity to be perfectly fine people so it's not RACISM to say they need to clean up their act!" And those who will admit to it actually being about race? Keep coming up with new words for their belief system because "no, no, Racism Is Bad, I'm just, uh, a RACE REALIST!" (🤮)

It's deeply insidious how it works.

[yournamelesswriter]

୨୧ Rules and Boundaries ୨୧

We have to lay down some ground rules for how me and my content. As much as I love to interact with everyone, I still want to draw some sort of line so that we understand where we are as individual First and foremost, keep it within the Tumblr guidelines. We don't want to get our accounts to get taken down and lose a bunch of our progresses. My boundaries will be subject to change so it would be nice if you would re-read this post every now and then.

✦ Rules ✦

✰ Don't be a dick

No personal attacks, offensive language, harassment, witch hunting, doxxing, racism, hate speech, or other disruptive behavior of sorts under my posts or works. I absolutely do not tolerate it and will block you.

Refrain from mentioning me in unnecessary topics. Listen, you may see my friends be able to do it but that's my friends and I gave them permission to do so.

If it's not warranted/on topic, please do not overshare/trauma dump under my post. It can be triggering for people and I would prefer to keep my blog a safe space.

Refrain from discussing unsavory topics, please use your common sense.

✦ Personal Boundaries ✦

⋆☀︎. Personal Life .☀︎⋆

I'd prefer to keep my life out of the online sphere. I'd make certain posts about myself, talking about my experiences but I would prefer if it came from me and someone else. I don't particularly like people talking about me like they're close with me. I have trauma-induced Borderline Personality Disorder which lead to really askew sense of self and with my PTSD making it difficult to remember who I was, its really hard for me to keep track of myself. If you do know me personally, I'd prefer if you message me instead and not make public posts or comments about me. I'm really not great with having my information online as well.

If you do end up finding some of my old accounts, please don't dig through my post or my past life in general, especially if it's personal. It's really invasive and creepy.

Do not speak on my behalf. I am my own person and I have my own opinions. People do not need to speak for me.

⋆☀︎. Shipping .☀︎⋆

In the past I've been okay with shipping which lead to some misconstrued communications which did not go great so I would prefer if you don't ship me or my sona. Secondly, I have a partner and she's really the only person you would see me be flirtatious in any artworks. So unless its my partner, then Its okay other than that, big no. And to just reiterate, I do not want NSFW artworks as well.

If I do make content with my friends, especially with my DnD projects, do not ship me with my friends. Not only is it weird, but some of my friends are younger than me and are minors. They are practically my kids. I absolutely do not want to see them shipped with me.

⋆☀︎. Harrassment .☀︎⋆

I do not tolerate any form of harassment. The most obvious examples are death threats, doxxing, spamming negative things, replying for the sake of sending hate to someone, and or anything along those lines.

✦ Art and Writing Boundaries ✦

✰ No comparisons ✰

I don't like people comparing my things. I don't think anyone would especially when you worked a long time on each projects. If you feel the need to tell me the comparisons of my art and writing then my DMs are always open.

✰ No unwarranted critism ✰

I am a human artist who will make errors, if I need people's input I would ask for it. I'm very open to criticism only if I asked for it again, DMs are always open if you really feel the need to tell me this and please make it constructed. If you go tell me "Oh your art style is ugly" or "You draw so bad" without providing any sort of nuance or reason why you would say things as such. I would not entertain you.

✰ Ask Permission ✰

Do not under any circumstance edit, repost, or use my art without permission. I'm not okay with it.

✰ Lastly, No AI ✰

✦ OC Boundaries ✦

✴ Go ahead!

These are things you can draw/write anytime! Please credit/send it to me because I would absolutely love to see your works!

SFW art

Gijinka/Humanized

Non-human designs

Shipping

fanart with different outfit

with other OCs (with your ocs)

These themes are also alright ONLY if it is properly tagged and censored (and within reason):

Horror

Gore

Suggestive/Slight NSFW (I'm fine with artistic nudity)

✴ ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Under no circumstances can you draw my OC with ANY of the following categories.

⚠️If you break ANY of these rules, I will block you and ask to get your work taken down. These are my OCs, you do not get to do these things with them.⚠️

NSFW of anything underage, unconsensual, or fetishes

Also including but not limited to: hateful language, symbolism, politics, and anything I deem uncomfortable and not okay.

✴ EXTRA INFO

If you don't know what catagory your idea falls into, or you'd like to ask anyway, then just ask me! If we're friends, I tend to be softer with my rules ^^

For questions, you can always DM for more information.

[lunaprincipessa]

ENTRY SEVENTY (CONTINUED FROM: ENTRY FIFTY-SIX)

Y2K: Part Two

One gentleman said this in an interview regarding Y2K and technology, "It's like the millennium itself is bringing about this change. It's like an energy or a magnet!" Ok, so, possible and exciting in my view! Makes me wanna sit down at a coffee shop with a history buff, spending the afternoon just asking questions. Every century, every millennium could have its own life, feel, and energy for sure! Very thought-provoking.

The next part though, here's where it can get interesting.

He then compared it all to a black hole. Same mentality and joy as when discussing the millennium itself bringing change, but it shifted my perspective quite a bit. A black hole... Subconsciously, he may have nailed it. Let's look at some definitions.

1.) A gravitational field so intense that no matter or radiation can escape.

2.) Such immense gravity that nothing escapes from it, not even light.

3.) A place where people, things, and money disappear without a trace.

4.) A void in the human psyche.

The first two definitions are some technical ones, although we can make them psychological and philosophical by emphasizing on nothing escaping from it or not letting light escape from it.

But the good news here is that you're not dealing with an actual black hole, so there is escape as soon as you're ready, as soon as you will it. Not gonna lie though, the third one made me giggle a little because yes, internet shopping will most definitely make my money disappear, but people? I don't see humor in that one at all.

Perhaps it's easy to just disappear and stay online when real life is so heartbreakingly disappointing for whatever the reason is, unlucky in love or the astronomical cost of living for example. We're all going through it for whatever the reason.

A void in the human psyche sounds just as accurate and technical as calling it gravity. Our minds can get that way sometimes huh? I know mine does. Perhaps an attempt to fill that void for some people is going online, maybe even in the same way that people often run to drugs, alcohol, sex, or food to avoid facing something unpleasant.

How do we avoid this black hole effect? The ways in which we go about it will change for every individual but if I had to give a universal answer, I would say to modify usage and be heavily proactive in your mental health.

Maybe mental health struggles are what led us to overuse in the first place. It's vital to always assess our emotional state before we log on, especially since use and overuse of the internet has been linked to depression and anxiety. Technostress as it's been called.

If it alone can cause such mental and emotional challenges, imagine the damage it can do if you're already depressed or anxious prior to logging on. Maybe they knew this which is why notifications were designed to hit those reward receptors in the brain. Makes us think we feel better logging on but we're actually denying ourselves a real solution. "There's a time and place for everything," vital to know when we need to log on versus when we want to log on.

"Our systems are broken, and they're going to fall asunder when you start entering into them. There is no debate about that anymore."

This was said in the 90's but yes, I still agree in 2024. I immediately begin to think about people who are wanting attention for one reason or another. Maybe they wanna convince the world their lives are perfect, maybe they're chronically lonely. It is a broken system that has us turning away from each other and working harder at posting for strangers instead of strengthening the relationships we have with ourselves and others.

Side Note: There is a bit of a stigma associated with attention-seeking behaviors but one can have more sympathy and tolerance when aware that it comes from neglect.

Check this out real quick. These quotes came from some interviews conducted right after the new year in 2000:

Reporter: "The man who warned us about Y2K says it's a lesson about how much we depend on technology, and how it's not as infallible as we'd like to think."

De Jager: "I don't believe that we, as a human race, learn from our mistakes. We don't learn from history. Every 100 years, we'll have exactly the same type of situation. And it'll be someone else raising the alarm."

So, we won't know until the year 2100 if his "every hundred years" prediction is correct. However, we can know right here and now that we CAN learn from our mistakes and we CAN learn from history if we choose to. There are plenty of things that have happened over the course of time that doesn't happen anymore. So, we can learn. The better response is: "we can but will we?"

We'll see if the year 2100 has it's own doomsday vibe but until then, we have the opportunity to see what needs to be fixed now so it doesn't get worse later on.

"And that is the greatest lesson from Y2K. That no one can go through any of the current dilemmas facing us alone."

It's so easy to feel like a burden. It's so easy to feel even worse looking at other people's posts of a perfect life while stressing over our own. Easy and understandable. We're human. But we need to make a habit of logging on less and connecting with other people more.

Kid during a 90's interview: "This hasn't been a very good century. Fix the world, don't screw it up!"

We get so wrapped up in our own comfort and survival that we lose sight of the generations coming up behind us. Our kids depend on us to teach them how to regulate themselves, their emotions, and their lives. Teach them how to live as well as teaching how and when to log on. We are in a digital age, technology is everywhere, but that doesn't mean our humanity is obsolete. We still have a job to do.

More thoughts later.

[quitaddictionnow]

What is Dual Diagnosis?

When there is drug abuse and a mental health problem simultaneous it is termed a dual diagnosis. Signs and symptoms of dual diagnosis or co-occurring disorders may look like drug abuse itself. One telltale sign of dual diagnosis is rapid mood changes and withdrawal from others.

Who should take dual diagnosis treatment? Anyone who is currently struggling with a substance addiction as well as a mental illness. Others who may benefit from treatment are friends and family members affected by the drug abuser. Dual diagnosis treatment differs from regular drug addiction treatment because it is treating both addiction and mental health. You will learn various coping skills and cognitive reconstruction with an addiction counselor.

Dual Diagnosis

Have you experienced withdrawal from family members, sudden changes in behavior, using substances under dangerous conditions, withdrawal and tolerance from a substance, developed severe mood changes, and/ or feel like you need a substance to function? You may be experiencing a dual diagnosis.

The term dual diagnosis is used when an individual is experiencing substance abuse and mental illness at the same time. Treatment for dual diagnosis includes partial treatment, sequential treatment, parallel treatment, and integrated treatment. An example of dual diagnosis would be suffering from alcoholism and bipolar disorder simultaneously. Dual diagnosis drug rehab is widely available in the United States but differs from regular addiction treatment. Some of the best treatment centers for dual diagnosis are in California. There are many specialized dual diagnosis treatments specifically in los Angeles.

Below you will learn more about dual diagnosis drug addiction and mental illness, as well as dual diagnosis residential treatment, and be provided with the best dual diagnosis treatment centers.

Understanding Dual Diagnosis

Some of the most common mental illnesses involved with substance abuse are depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, panic, OCD, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and eating disorders. Dual diagnosis is also sometimes referred to as a co occurring disorder.

How common are dual diagnosis?

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, of the 21 million Americans with a substance abuse disorder, 8 million of those individuals also suffer from a mental illness. It is possible that one may cause the other, although this is not always the case. Individuals with mental illness are at higher risk for developing a substance abuse addiction. It’s important to understand that drugs and alcohol can affect your mental illness much more severely. In a study conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness, it was shown that people with mental illness consumed 38% of all alcohol, 44% of all cocaine and over half of all opioids in the United States.

Signs that Someone Needs a Dual Diagnosis Treatment

Individuals living with dual diagnosis will show common signs of struggle. One of the most important signs of a mental illness and substance abuse problem is not having the ability to work daily. They may change the way they communicate, such as withdrawing slowly to almost completely stopping communication. There may be legal issues due to risky behaviors that comes with being intoxicated. Another sign of a dual diagnosis is financial problems due to spending so much money on the substance. Changes in mood and behavior is also a symptom of dual diagnosis. If any of these signs and symptoms are re occurring with you or a loved one it may be time to consider long term residential treatment for dual diagnosis.

Continue reading here: Dual Diagnosis

[tomtysoon]

Zoom Fatigue symptoms and how can you fight back against it to enhance productivity in 2022

Zoom fatigue is exactly what it sounds like—exhaustion brought on by the rise in video conferencing requirements that a pandemic around the world forced upon many people. It can be difficult to feel as though you spend your whole life online, even though being able to manage work remotely and safely stay in touch with friends and family is crucial.

Given that remote work is probably here to stay in some form, it's critical to evaluate how you use video conferences in order to prevent burnout. Without completely giving up your camera, there are solutions to combat Zoom Fatigue.

There are other suggestions for making Zoom meetings more tolerable, such as shortening them, scheduling breaks, and disabling video. All of them are helpful, but they might be challenging to put into practice when your attendance is required. As we all know, this is frequently out of our control. In an ideal world, there would be regular breaks and optional video settings.

So, if you're looking for tips on how to avoid or at least lessen the strain on your mental and physical energies that occurs when you simply cannot leave a Zoom conference, keep reading.

Reasons for Zoom Fatigue

A 2008 study indicated that using video conferencing to communicate makes participants' cognitive demands higher. They must arrange the conference call in addition to using technology to simulate eye contact while trying to understand what the other person is saying. Combining all of these tasks together may cause mental fatigue. 

While further research is required, a 2021 article in Technology, Mind, and Behavior journal offered four potential explanations for Zoom weariness.Other mentally taxing aspects of video conferencing include up-close eye gazing, less mobility because of the need to be in the camera's field of view, and the effects of looking at oneself. These factors are similar to the 2008 finding and go along with the cognitive load associated with giving and receiving nonverbal cues on camera.

These are the more general reasons why Zoom Fatigue actually occurs:

Your eyes are always on the screen

Both the quantity of eyes on you and the size of the faces on the screen are odd in a video meeting.You wouldn't make as much eye contact with other guests in a face-to-face meeting. People would glance at their phones or notebooks, the speaker, and other attendees in the room.

In contrast, everyone in a Zoom conference is continually looking at one another. In addition, the size of their features creates the sensation that they are nearby.

Physical proximity is seen by our brains as being in a stressful scenario. Usually, it signals that we're about to mate or engage in conflict. This explains why individuals avoid looking at each other in elevators.

You are fixed in one place

It is required of us that maintain a clean line of sight throughout the video call. This takes standing stationary for a length of time that is not natural.

People can walk around freely during face-to-face meetings without losing track of the topic. In fact, studies suggest that moving around fosters creativity and improves communication.

You can walk around freely and carry out other tasks while on an audio call without losing track of the chat.

We limit our ability to think and talk freely by confining ourselves to the confines of our computer displays.

Cognitive load more than what you can actually take

According to Bailenson, nonverbal communication occurs frequently in face-to-face interactions and each of us subconsciously makes and understands gestures and nonverbal signs. However, it takes more effort to send and receive signals during video chats.

In essence, a face-to-face interaction, according to Bailenson, has been changed by humans into something that requires a lot of thought: "You've got to make sure that your head is framed within the center of the video. You need to give a big nod or give a thumbs up to someone to indicate that you agree with them. This increases the cognitive burden because communicating requires mental energy.

Symptoms of Zoom Fatigue that you need to know

Please don't use these Zoom tiredness symptoms to rule out a real sickness, much like self-diagnosing anything online.

Symptoms of zoom fatigue include:

Exhaustion in between calls.

Feeling more exhausted than normal towards the conclusion of your workday

Not paying attention in sessions because you are daydreaming

Sweating or overheating while on calls

Without any prior history of eye strain or inflammation

Regular migraines or headaches

Ongoing sensation of fatigue

Fear of activating your camera

Tips and tricks to fight back against Zoom Fatigue

Don’t multitask while you are on Zoom

While it may be tempting to try to accomplish more in less time, research indicates that attempting to multitask has a negative impact on performance. Switching between projects might cost you up to 40% of your productive time since different forms of work require you to switch off and on different sections of your brain. Researchers at Stanford discovered that multitaskers perform less well on memory tests than their more narrowly focused colleagues. The next time you're on a video chat, put your phone aside, dismiss any tabs or applications that might be a distraction (like Slack or your inbox), and try to stay focused. The Slack message you just received can wait 15 minutes, and you'll be able to compose a better response when you're not also on a video chat, try to remind yourself (we know it's hard).

Switch to other Alternatives such as phone or email

It's easy to overlook traditional phone calls and emails in this era of Zoom.

Consider whether a video meeting is required before filling up your Zoom meeting schedule. You might be able to find a solution by using a different route of communication.

You might want to offer an audio call or reschedule it if you're worn out after spending all day in front of a screen.

If you have to take a call outside of the office, it's also better to avoid using video because it can be stressful and unproductive.

Get yourself short breaks

People would benefit from scheduling brief breaks for themselves because engaging in the cognitive demands of video conferencing conversation can be draining.

People typically have to travel between locations when they attend meetings in person, which allows for some downtime in between sessions. Therefore, it is important to incorporate brief breaks into remote working arrangements.

Before and after video conference conversations, getting up, stretching, and practicing deep breathing may also be helpful. If you have any control over meeting schedules, make sure you schedule time for those crucial mental breaks.

Minimizing the Zoom screen itself to prevent load

Jeremy Bailenson, a professor at Stanford, claims that video conferencing is comparable to having a close-up conversation with someone who is only two feet away from you. This proximity is known as the intimate distance and is typically used for making love, providing comfort, and providing protection While we're content (most of the time) to let our loved ones into this private place, we feel uneasy when someone from outside this little circle do so. Sometimes it can seem like we are under attack. The fight or flight reaction can also be triggered by being 2 feet away from someone, as this distance and position are similar to those in a physical altercation. Therefore, reduce the Zoom screen's size to make them appear farther away to calm everything down.When you don't need to refer to any other windows, have a straightforward and peaceful screensaver running in the background.

Make use of virtual backgrounds

Virtual backgrounds are a terrific method to give the impression that the meeting location has changed. Your background could be a lovely location, like Italy, a well-furnished office, or even your business logo! Another excellent way to break the ice and personalize the meeting is using a virtual backdrop.

Keep the sessions open

It's normal to feel exhausted after a long day of nonstop video conversations, especially if you're an introvert. Virtual social gatherings should continue to be opt-in, which means that whoever is hosting them makes it clear that attendees are invited but not required to attend. If a sizable group is anticipated, you should also think about selecting a facilitator. This individual can start by posing a question, then clarify the speaking order so that everyone has a chance to be heard and the group doesn't begin speaking all at once. If we don't know what is expected of us or if we are continuously attempting to determine whether we should or shouldn't speak up, it is simple to become overburdened.

Source: https://tomtysononeclick.blogspot.com/2022/09/zoom-fatigue-symptoms-and-how-can-you.html

[chrishoughton]

Is Cricket meant to have ADHD? My brother has predominantly-hyperactive/impulsive type and I have predominantly-inattentive type and we can both relate. Episodes like "Quiet Please" and "Trivia Night" seem to imply it as well.

I've tried to answer this question before but because I receive it so often, I'll take another stab at answering it.

I'm so happy so many kids relate to Cricket and Tilly. Many of those kids also relate to Cricket and Tilly on a deeper level, due to a particular diagnosis they may have received. However, I'm very hesitant to confirm any particular diagnosis for Cricket and Tilly for two main reasons: 1.) As much as we try to write Cricket and Tilly as if they're real people, they're not. They are cartoon characters instead of multifaceted emotionally-complicated human beings. I would consider it unethical to give a cartoon character a DSM diagnosis which might ultimately lead kids to seek out a similar diagnosis because they relate to similar behaviors of said diagnosed cartoon characters. I like to think of Cricket and Tilly as unique kids, rather than kids with a particular diagnosis. And I hope kids who have received some type of mental diagnosis, also see themselves as unique individuals, rather than someone who is in need of "fixing."

2.) My main hesitancy around these diagnostic labels is for no other reason than our society's main source of treating these types of diagnoses: drugs. I'm not denying the existence of these different learning abilities or different ways of thinking, I'm simply against the way we treat these "disorders." I think psychiatric drugs are best used in rare cases and generally for a short amount of time, with a plan for the individual to get off of the drug (research long-term use of psychiatric drugs and how psychotropic drug tolerance works- "Your Drug May Be Your Problem" is a great read). For some people, psychiatric drugs carry with them the potential for some extremely dangerous side effects. Further complicating things, these drug side effects are often mislabeled as additional mental health symptoms. Also, due to tolerance build-up, the desired effects of these drugs usually wear off after continuing the same drug treatment for years. This tolerance often leads to higher dosages or more psych drugs to achieve the original desired effect. To make the situation more complicated, psychiatric drugs also create an intense chemical dependency that is rarely talked about and very misunderstood in the medical community. After many years of use, these drugs eventually have very little effect other than staving off withdrawal effects from said drug. An adult choosing to take psychiatric drugs is well within their rights. But children? Who have developing brains? How confident are we that this is the best course of treatment?

I hope you can appreciate my sensitivity around this issue due to the fact that I've been dependent on the SSRI, Paxil (paroxetine) for 24 years now. I was put on it as a child at 10 years old for anxiety attacks and 24 years later, I'm now slowly weaning off of the drug. In some ways, I wish I was never given the drug (which was eventually labeled as unsafe for children and given a black box warning after years of being on the market- whoops!) but in other ways, I'm very thankful for the painful lessons I've learned.

This long awful process of withdrawal has changed my views on the outdated "disease-based" model of looking at mental health. The emerging "trauma-based" model makes a lot more sense to me, both in terms of diagnosing and treatment. This model encourages treatment/healing of the source of the pain, rather than treatment (or numbing) of the symptoms. This model asks "what happened to you?" rather than "what's wrong with you?"

At the risk of looking like a radical, I'll end it there. DISCLAIMER: If you are on any psychiatric drugs, do NOT discontinue use without talking to a trusted doctor (who understands psychiatric drug withdrawal/de-prescribing). And never cold turkey from any psych drug- it's too hard on your CNS and can cause an incredible amount of long-lasting emotional and physical pain. The decision of whether or not to pursue treatment through psychiatric drugs is a very personal decision that should be made by the individual, guided by informed consent from a doctor about the potential benefits and risks that come with any particular drug.

I share this only to speak about my personal experience on the subject. I don't mean to offend anyone nor tell anyone what they should do or believe. To anyone suffering mentally or emotionally, please know that in many ways, I understand and I wish you the best. 💚

[aphrostarot]

Next Significant Relationship Pick a Pile

Who is your next partner and what will the relationship be like?

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me or email me if you are interested!

(All poems are in Perry Poems: A Collection. You can find it here)

Pile One:

Who is this person? What are they like?

Nine of Winter:

This is the nine of pentacles in this deck. Usually, the Nine of Pentacles represents a woman, but not always. A person represented by this card is highly feminine and an extremely independent individual. They are very hardworking, they appreciate the finer things in life, and their hard work has allowed them to enjoy these things. Your next partner will embody this energy.

King of Autumn:

In this deck, this is the King of Swords. Besides being a hard worker and extremely independent, this person is also calm and collected. Before making any decisions, they weigh the pros and cons of every situation. Your next partner will be someone you can turn to when you have trouble making decisions. They are a very mature individual, someone who is extremely logical and can sometimes appear to be judgmental.

How will you meet?

Three of Spring (Reversed) and The Crow:

One or both of you will be in a state of disarray when you meet this person. It will be difficult to make decisions in your life, maybe even in one particular area. Several directions will be pulling at you, and you won't know which one to take. Your progress in your personal development will be affected by this. The energy I'm receiving from this pile indicates that it will be you who is struggling and that when you meet this person, they will be drawn to you because they feel like they can help you, and ultimately they will.

How will you know it’s them?

The Lupin:

The Lupin is a highly intelligent and confident individual. Here your guides are telling you that the way you will be able to know that this is your person is by recognizing that they exude these qualities. As far as the environment goes there may be some flowers around you when you meet which is a sign to you that this is your person. You or they could be wearing purple as well.

What will your first impression of them be?

The Goldfinch:

The first impression you will have of this individual is that they are a very organized free spirit, willing to travel. Initially, you may be intimidated by their confidence and their refusal to get involved in drama or chaos. Initially, their eyes may also catch your attention and seem beautiful to you. If you are highly spiritual, you may even observe that this person's third eye is open whether they are aware of it or not.

How will they affect you?

Ace of Winter and Queen of Autumn:

When you are with this person, you will find that you have so many opportunities. You will become extremely passionate about your career and life choices. You will become more aware and even more in control of your path. Pursuing your dreams will be so much more fun because unlike in the past, you will know exactly what you want. With this person, you can regain control over your path and enjoy life again.

What kind of relationship will it be? What is the main bond between the two of you?

The Empty Cottage and Eight of Autumn:

It seems that this relationship may not be a good one. Although this person will provide you with many opportunities in your career, they are not healthy for your mental health. There is a strong possibility that they are very possessive and jealous in your relationship, which isn't healthy. Your anxieties might get worse or they may not understand the reasons for your mental health. The problem is that the person is extremely rational and does not deal with emotions very often, whereas you are an extremely emotional person. Relationships like these do not mix well and you may end up feeling very alone as a result.

Current obstacles standing in your way?

The Lighthouse:

One or both of you may be lacking in the stability department and also in the confidence department. I believe that it may be you that is struggling in this department and your guides are telling you here that this is blocking you from entering this relationship at the moment. I know that with the way that I just described this relationship you may not want to enter this relationship at all and so you may be saying “what is the point of clearing out these obstacles if it won’t be a good relationship.” to that your guides have to say that you are meant to be in this relationship. It won’t all be bad in the relationship, there will be good, especially when it comes to you getting out of a funk and finding joy and drive for your passions. This is something that is needed in order for you to excel in life. This person is meant to help you in your career and your passions, which is why you are meant to be in this relationship.

How to break through those obstacles?

Ace of Spring:

To overcome these obstacles, you need to become aware that this person is going to push you to pursue your passions and career further. You will learn how to succeed in your passions and career through this relationship, regardless of how short it may last. As your guides are telling you here, this is what you need to hold onto so that you can move forward with this relationship.

What will you learn from this person?

King of Winter:

You will learn how to be a successful and driven person through this relationship. It may not be good for your anxieties and your emotions but it will be good for your career. The two of you may have a lot of 10th house overlays in your synastry chart because the energy of this relationship is not at all emotional, it is way more career-centered.

If you would like to see some channeled messages from this person and spirit regarding this relationship click here.

Pile Two:

Who is this person? What are they like?

The Hermit:

The person may be a Virgo or have significant Virgo placements or energies in their chart, more than likely they are a Virgo Rising. This person is wise beyond their years and prefers their solitude. They are extremely observant, and constantly seek to expand their knowledge. Additionally, they may even have a deep connection to spirituality. All that being said, they are highly sensitive, especially to judgments and criticisms from others.

How will you meet?

King of Swords:

You might meet them at work, and either you or them will have some authority. Based on the energy I am getting from the two of you I believe that it will be them who is in authority. Once you start working for them, they are struck by you and your presence. You are constantly on their minds, and they watch everything you do. The two of you will be following a very common office romance trope.

How will you know it’s them?

Seven of Pentacles:

Your future may not be something you enjoy thinking about or planning. You don't seem to be a type A at all. Your preference is to go with the flow rather than make a solid plan. It might however turn out that, once you meet this person, you have a greater sense of direction and need to plan your future in a more structured manner. It is quite likely that this person is very much a planner and a critical thinker, so when they are around you will be trying your best to impress them. It is for this reason that you will begin to become more like that person. It is also possible that both of you will be wearing red or blue when you meet, which will be a sign that this is your person. Question marks may be involved in your meeting as well. They could be in the environment or you may find that you are very curious about this person which will result in you wanting to ask a lot of questions.

What will your first impression of them be?

King of Wands:

When you meet this person, you will think they are extremely confident. Their ability to lead and their determination to achieve their goals will impress you. As friendly and outgoing as they are, I can tell you that it may seem intimidating at first because you are really hoping that they will like you, and they can be hard to read so you aren't sure what they think of you.

How will they affect you?

The Hanged Man:

Part of you knows that there are aspects of yourself that do not serve you. Despite this, you continue to do nothing about eliminating these toxic behaviors from your life. This person will help you to do this. They do not tolerate toxicity, especially from the person they are pursuing, so when you begin to see them, they will work toward helping you eliminate those behaviors. This enables you to lead a healthy life.

What kind of relationship will it be? What is the main bond between the two of you?

Temperance:

It will be a very satisfying relationship for you both. Together you will build a solid foundation and live very comfortably. In the end, you'll feel at home with each other, seeing each other as family. Perhaps you both have never experienced something like this before, and for you both, it is a breath of fresh air.

Current obstacles standing in your way?

The Heirophant:

You may be stuck in a pretty traditional mindset especially when it comes to love. In that, you may believe that dating your boss is very unprofessional and that other people will think you are sleeping your way to the top. The last thing that you want is other people viewing you negatively and in your eyes, pursuing this is a disaster waiting to happen. According to your guides, this mindset is currently blocking the two of you from coming together.

How to break through those obstacles?

Page of Cups:

Your guides are telling you here that the way for you to release these blocks is by allowing yourself to feel emotions. You can’t help who you fall in love with most of the time and that is the case with this person. Instead of denying yourself this relationship, your guides are encouraging you to allow yourself to express your feelings, especially when it comes to this person.

What will you learn from this person?

Death:

As we have discussed, you have some toxic behaviors that you refuse to let go of, and this person will help you let go of them. In this person, you will learn how to shed the old side of yourself that doesn't serve you anymore and be transformed into the person you were created to be.

If you would like to see some channeled messages from this person and spirit regarding this relationship click here.

Pile Three:

Who is this person? What are they like?

The Moon:

This person may be a Cancer or have significant Cancer placements, more than like they are a Cancer Rising. They are a natural daydreamer and will stop at nothing to make their dreams their reality. Because of this, they have very strong opinions about how and what they want their world to look like. They tend to struggle when it comes to trusting other people because they wear their heart on their sleeve and have gotten screwed over quite a few times because of it.

How will you meet?

Nine of Pentacles:

You may meet this person right after you make a significant purchase in your life, whether that is a house, a new car, home renovations, or even garden improvements. They may be the person who helps you get these things done, or you will simply just meet them around this time in your life.

How will you know it’s them?

Five of Pentacles:

It really does seem like you will have just purchased a new home or you will have some renovations in your current home around the time you meet this person. I say this because in the imagery on this specific card you can see a door with a house key. I believe that when you meet this person you will be in a great place financially but they will not be. You may even need to provide this person with a place to stay. You will know it is them because they are in a very dark place when you meet and you will be in a very bright place. This will lead you to want to help them get back on their feet.

What will your first impression of them be?

Eight of Pentacles (reversed):

You may not have a good impression of them when you first meet them. You will think that they are lazy and have a bad reputation, especially when it comes to money. I get the feeling that you will know who this person is because they may be a family friend or a friend’s friend. However, you will not have officially met this person or really gotten to know them, hence you having quite a bad impression of them. I think that someone will ask you to invite them to stay with you and you will say yes even though you don’t want to. This is because in your eyes this person has gotten to their dark place because of their own actions and you feel like helping them will only encourage their behavior. However, you will be wrong about your impression of them and once they come to stay with you, you will see a different side of them and realize this.

How will they affect you?

Ace of Swords:

You will experience many powerful emotions with this person. They will make you hate them so much one day but then the next day you will be madly in love with them. You may have been in relationships in the past that were filled with simplicity and ease. You will experience an entirely new type of relationship with this person, one that will send your adrenaline soaring.

What kind of relationship will it be? What is the main bond between the two of you?

Eight of Wands:

You two will never grow tired of each other. Even when you are apart, you will always want to stay in touch. Whenever you are with this person, you will feel as if you can tell them anything. With this person, you will feel at ease, and you won't worry about what others think of you because of how comfortable you feel around them. You will be able to fully express yourself around them without fear.

Current obstacles standing in your way?

Three of Pentacles (reversed):

Right now your ego is getting in your way when it comes to this relationship. You may believe that you are better than this person and therefore you do not need them in your life. There is another part of you that may even be struggling when it comes to working in teams, you currently prefer working on your own and do not go out of your way to hang out with other people or work with others. Your guides are saying that this is blocking you from experiencing this relationship.

How to break through those obstacles?

The Tower (reversed):

You have been holding off the inevitable for quite some time now because you fear change and this person will be bringing you to change. Your guides are telling you here that you need to release your fears and allow this person to come forward. They are telling you that they have your best interest at heart and would never bring you something you can’t handle and this person is someone that you are meant to be with.

Two of Cups:

Part of you may think that this relationship will not be true love or you may even believe that you are not worthy of true love and your guides are telling you that you are incorrect. This person will show you a whole new side of what love means and feels like. They say that it is definitely true love, even if it isn’t how you define what true love is.

What will you learn from this person?

Six of Wands:

In your mind, you think you know what success looks like, whether that be in love, or just in life. The only problem is that you are still not expanding your view of what success really looks like, and it will be this person who is able to introduce you to the different facets of success. Through them, you will learn how to truly experience success in all of its glory.

If you would like to see some channeled messages from this person and spirit regarding this relationship click here.

Pile Four:

Who is this person? What are they like?

Ace of Cups and Strength:

This person may be a Leo or have significant Leo placements, more than likely they are a Leo Rising. They may also have significant water placements. They are extremely confident and courageous. They hold a great deal of power and many people come to them for guidance. They are also extremely romantic and sensitive. They love love and are a huge hopeless romantic.

How will you meet?

The Artist:

It is possible that one or both of you are artists. A gallery opening or an art museum may be the place where you meet. On the other hand, based on the energy I sense that one of you will have your art on display, and you will meet them through the event. You will get along almost immediately since you have very similar views on art.

How will you know it’s them?

High Priestess:

One of you may be wearing blue when you meet, maybe a long blue cardigan or dress. A floral pattern may be significant as well, whether it be wallpaper in the room you are in or someone is wearing it. This is a highly spiritual connection so you will almost just know it is them. You will feel how you have never felt before in their presence, it’s like they awaken your spirituality. You will feel your connection with this person almost instantly.

What will your first impression of them be?

Seven of Pentacles:

This person will seem like an extremely hard worker, someone who is very talented but doesn't see their own talent. You might also think that this person overworks themselves. However, you will also see them as kind and patient. You see this person as someone who has a lot of talent and is going to accomplish so much.

How will they affect you?

The Emperor:

They are very much someone who loves to be in control, and they enjoy bossing others around, especially when it comes to love. It seems that they want to dominate you and make sure you are doing exactly everything they want you to do. They will express a lot of their masculine traits in this relationship. However, it could also be you who expresses all of this rather than them.

What kind of relationship will it be? What is the main bond between the two of you?

The Lovers and Ten of Swords:

True love will be the foundation of this relationship. Both of you will experience the kind of love you have always dreamed of. However, this is not to say that the relationship will be easy, as there will be challenges along the way. However, due to your love for one another, you will get through each challenge together. This relationship may last for a long time.

Current obstacles standing in your way?

Six of Pentacles:

You may be an extremely generous person, especially when it comes to your time and energy. Your guides are saying that this aspect of yourself is hindering your progress towards this person. Yes, it is nice to be generous with the people you care about, but that generosity should not come at the price of your health or sanity. Make sure you are maintaining some boundaries in your life.

How to break through those obstacles?

Two of Wands:

It is time for you to set better boundaries especially when it comes to the people you are close to. You may be scared to set better boundaries because you feel like people will be mad at you. You need to release those fears because if people get mad at you for taking care of yourself, they do not truly care about you. Now is the time to make sure the partnerships in your life are healthy and the first step in doing that is by making sure that the partnership you have with yourself is healthy.

What will you learn from this person?

Eight of Swords:

This person will teach you how to get out of your own way. You have a lot of anxieties and insecurities, especially when it comes to relationships and this person will show you how to heal. Through them, you will learn how to let go of your fears and fully express yourself in a healthy way.

If you would like to see some channeled messages from this person and spirit regarding this relationship click here.

[astrologyandlife]

29° and 0° in astrology

the 29th and 0 degrees are said to be "critical" degrees in astrology, meaning that anything sitting in these degrees have a special influence on its expression and impact on the rest of the chart. so, i thought it would be a good idea to explore these two degrees and what they could mean for you guys!

part i: the 29th degree

the 29th degree is the very last degree of any zodiac sign. it is said to be the anaretic degree. here, the most difficult challenges related to the placement in question are presented, as everything else has been mastered. there is also a sense of inevitability with this placement. this is often marked by a turning point in the individual’s life.

sun – the ego and identity are strong, but there could be external circumstances that don’t allow the individual to express themselves in a completely authentic or transparent way. they must reconcile who they are inside with how they act. at times, they feel like an imposter, or like they are selling out to others. they know who they are, but do other people? this feeling that something is physically blocking them from existing impacts every action they take. they must figure out what is holding them back from complete self-expression and give themselves permission to be themselves in spite of this.

moon – this is where the most complex, desolate emotions a person can feel lie—the kinds of emotions that make you think nobody could possibly understand your experience. as a result, there is a profound sense of isolation and a difficulty integrating their emotional experiences into their self-expression. this only increases the intensity of the emotions, creating many situations of turbulence. sometimes the individual ends up completely blocking their emotions off to cope. only by facing their emotions head-on can they assuage these feelings and achieve a balanced state.

mercury – there is a tendency to get stuck in vicious cycles involving self-doubt and overthinking here. as a result, they sabotage their own efforts to make good decisions and communicate clearly. even a genius can make a fool out of himself. there can be this issue where they overthink sometimes and don’t think enough other times. they have this nagging feeling that they are missing some piece of information that is undiscovered or concealed from them. the final lesson is to trust the knowledge and experience they have to make the right decision.

venus – a profound sense of loneliness is pervasive throughout their life, as though every relationship they could have now would be empty and devoid of true connection. it’s entirely possible for these individuals to have trust issues, fall into unhealthy patterns in their relationships, and avoid intimacy. perhaps there is a part of themselves who feels they are unlovable in some way, or there is this one thing wrong with them, which they must forgive completely, the same way they would forgive and love another person.

mars – a desperation to act conflicts with a lack of confidence in their capability to do so. often this leads to them being frozen in the headlights like a deer, thinking, I have to do something but what if it’s wrong? the balance between too much and too little is blurred, leading to inconsistency and turbulence in their lives. they often end up in situations where they are forced to make snap decisions. re-calibrating their approach to conflict and matching their energy to the situation will relieve this problem.

jupiter – without thinking, these individuals over-indulge and rely on their luck and natural talents in some way. they want more of something, and it’s almost as though there is no satisfaction through receiving it. there is both a sense of hollowness and complacency that permeates as a result, and they forget how to materialize success through their own efforts. to remedy this, they must seek out growth, exploration, and expansion in its purest sense, to open their minds to a higher being or knowledge.

saturn – restrictive patterns are almost always the issue here. these individuals deprive them of something in their lives, not allowing even a moment of pleasure or reprieve from the overwhelming sense of responsibility they feel. external circumstances, especially in early life, have placed an undue burden on them, in some cases leading them to do anything to escape any responsibility placed on them later in life. to fix this, they have to let go of the guilt and fear they feel to give themselves back their agency.

uranus – how can they move forward? where is there to go that hasn’t been gone to before? in the same way that the sun in this degree struggles to find true authenticity in this liminal space, so too do these individuals struggle to find progression. somewhere they got stuck and stopped embracing their own unique qualities, which has made it impossible for them to then accept anything else. the final turning point here is to open their mind completely, to embrace entirely the open possibilities of the world.

neptune — this is the deepest recesses of this planet, where material reality as we know it does not even exist. at its most extreme, these individuals find it hard to live in this world because reality is simply too harsh for them in some way. escapism exists in its most extreme form, and the subconscious is too influential. and so, they need to escape themselves. here, the power has been given to a force that is not the individual, but rather something external to them. the task is to give this power back to the conscious individual, to escape the dream they have created for themselves and return to reality.

pluto — here, the complete death has occurred for the person. they have experienced the transformation, the change, and the end of the cycle. perhaps they have experienced in many times in their life. but the last stage hasn’t occurred yet. they become stuck before the rebirth stage, unable to complete the process. thus, the same situation happens over and over, re-opening wounds. the final turning point is to accept the change and open themselves up completely to renewal, to move on for good. lay it to rest.

part ii: the 0 degree

in contrast, the 0 degree is the very first degree of any zodiac sign. this is where the traits of the sign are most clearly and cohesively expressed, and also where there is the most to learn. you express this placement in a very raw, almost untouched way.

aries – there is a childlike innocence and naivete here, as well as an exaggerated impatience and sense of urgency. they feel that there is no time to wait. strong desire to be first and be a leader, even if they don’t know how to be one. there’s almost like a reckless quality to them. extremely assertive to a point of being hostile when others tell them what to do.

taurus – they are stubborn and fixed to the point of being unable to budge. it’s essentially impossible to stop the momentum once they’ve started, and they’re in it for the long haul. they can get stuck in their thinking and behavior patterns, doing the same thing over and over. absolutely must have stability and security in situations or they won’t commit.

gemini – absolutely no tolerance for boredom or lack of activity. they have to be doing something at all times, and often more than one thing. they’re extremely scattered. their curiosity drives them and they’re always asking questions or trying to learn more. they are constantly taking in information and changing their mind, never able to “settle.”

cancer – sensitive and emotional to the point where they can’t hide their feelings. here, there is someone who is very shy, cautious, and puts a protective shell around themselves. they have an intuition that is spot-on. very needy and moody. plays the role of caregiver and can be seen as a motherly figure. empathy is turned up all the way.

leo – they are completely self-focused and wants to be the center of attention. they want people’s eyes on them at all times, and they know how to light up a room. natural actors and tend toward being extremely dramatic. there is a sense of complete confidence in their abilities and pride in themselves. they refuse to settle for less than what they believe they deserve.

virgo – devoted to the service of others, typically in the form of providing feedback, criticism, and a helping hand. very critical and vocal about imperfections. they have an eye for detail that is unmatched. any form of disorganization or chaos is distressing to them, and they have highly specific routines and rituals. mind is constantly running to analyze and process information.

libra – cannot be alone whatsoever, and they are constantly seeking out connections with others. they are a complete pushover and seek out compromise in every situation. there is a desire to always seem agreeable and likeable. they often find themselves mediating for others, and there is an extreme need for harmony and balance. indecisive to the point of being paralyzed/hurt.

scorpio – the most private you’ll ever meet, and it’s impossible to get information out of them. feels the need to keep everything to themselves. has tons of secrets. they are super obsessive and will latch on to things quickly. needs control or to feel powerful in any situation. constantly on the defensive and trying to psychoanalyze the situation.

sagittarius – have an attitude of “it will all work out, don’t worry” even when they should be worrying. it’s impossible to tie down or get them to settle, because they have an intense need for freedom at all times. blindly faithful and optimistic. have a tendency to do things completely spontaneously. can feel claustrophobic when unable to freely act.

capricorn – absolutely rooted in tradition, even to the point of being narrow-minded. they constantly have to be going after success or achievement. the sense of responsibility is always present, which can lead to feelings of guilt or failure. an old soul from the beginning. a sense of “I have to get this right and prove myself” in anything they do.

aquarius – always has to be moving forward and making progress. extreme quirks are very possible here. highly open-minded and non-judgmental, and almost nothing surprises/shocks them. a savant, genius, or revolutionary. always at odds with figures of authority or traditionalists. a humanitarian to the extreme. they are ahead of their time.

pisces – hyper-sensitive to subtle influences and can be very spiritual or superstitious as a result. there’s an ever-present need to escape in some way, and they usually and have vivid imagination/rich fantasies. there can be a sense of directionlessness or shapelessness. the ultimate chameleon.

sun - feels the need for validation of who they are from others, projects a ton of confidence that they may not really have, very performative and forthright in expression. moon - often blindsided by their emotions, has difficulty realizing their needs and wants, less polished about handling their feelings. mercury - always curious and wants to know more, may present as a know-it-all or assert authority over topics, venus - loves the newness of relationships, craves connection and romance, wants to be well-liked by others, rejection is hard for them. mars - always in "go" mode, lots of energy and motivation, can be quick to anger or rile up, ends up in dangerous situations a lot. saturn - inherently assumes responsibility, has to learn lessons multiple times, tries to be disciplined and fails often. jupiter - lots of faith and optimism, definitely naive at heart, open to new experiences and chances for growth. uranus - has a lot of small quirks, open-minded and progressive, has a mindset of wanting to keep moving forward. neptune - rich imagination and a love for fantasy, feels directionless or like the possibilities are endless. pluto - may struggle with changes or transformations, lots of growth ahead of them, a strong presence that is very raw.

finally, i'd like to link some resources for further reading:

· https://www.astro.com/astrology/aa_article190801_e.htm (my favorite--super in-depth and peer-reviewed/published!)

· https://advanced-astrology.com/anaretic-degree/

· https://www.astrologyweekly.com/blog/29-degrees-the-anaretic-degree/

[phoeebsbuffay]

Imagine “Star Wars” special edition: Jane Eyre.

Sweet Desires.

Imagine you just left a school for girls in Coruscant as a governess. You are then hired by Mr Vader to teach his twins, Leia and Luke. What happens next? Part III.

Warnings: just the usual drama; shorter fic, fluffy ending of course.

***

Mr Vader’s POV.

The moment he takes you to his carriage, Mr Vader knows you are intrigued by his rather unusual mask. He reads the unposed question of its purpose when sitting in opposition to where you are.

“It’s to keep them away.” Vader answers you. “So I am respected. Better yet, feared. I shall not tolerate otherwise.”

You tilt your head as if you are trying to read right through his soul. Mr Vader seems slightly troubled by the intensity of your gaze.

“What?”

“Why do you feel the need to hid behind a mask when you can exercise the power the way you feel like to?”

It’s a question that rather intrigues him. Perhaps because somewhere inside him, Vader is led to believe your individuality will necessarily input change in his behavior… when you, in fact, never suggested at all, whether in thoughts or not.

“It makes all of it alluring.” The answer slips right from his tongue before he holds it back.

As you two go back to the manor, though, Mr Vader is surprised to meet a few fellow representatives of the empire. They are there to suggest a marriage for the man who might as well as inherit the title of emperor someday.

You are invisible to such men, of course. Mr Vader barely introduces you as someone of his trust who works at his household. However, upon the mention of the marriage, he senses a disturbance in you.

Could it be?

“If that is the case”, Mr Vader is telling these people, whom he finds absolutely annoying and a waste of his time. “I should best prepare the manor for an appropriate feast. I have a few candidate of my own if you do not mind.”

He lists arrogantly a few names who might please his fellow subordinates. But once they leave, he rushes after you. However, he is prevented from doing so when the servants of his manor look after Mr Vader to resolve some affairs concerning the household.

Distracted from you, he cannot do much for now. Specially because his children are all over you. And in the next days, Vader would hear many protests of the younglings concerning his remarriage.

“Papa, to remarry for state purposes would be a mistake.” Luke says in such a language that Mr Vader laughs heartily. You are not so far either and he can see you find difficult to conceal a smile.

“Sorry, my son. I was not laughing at you. But sometimes duties must be placed before sentiments.”

“Daddy, Luke is being stupid again.” Leia straightens the skirts of her gown in a posture that amuses her father. “If I may speak on behalf of this household, as the First Lady of Manor Y/C, we all agree that Miss Y/N Y/LN would be a better option to occupy the place left vacant by our late mother.”

Mr Vader smirks at his daughter. He watches as she turns at Luke and says:

“See? This is how one speaks.” And, of course, she looks at you for approval. “Did I do it correctly, Miss Y/N?”

He follows Leia’s gaze, resting his on you. Your face is painted in a deep shade of red and you are twisting the cloth of the skirt of your gown with two fingers. You are nervous, embarrassed, but somehow all of the disconcerted moment seems to fade when you glance in such a loving and tender way to Leia that his heart melts.

“You did show your father that your eloquence is admirable. A trait you definitely have after your family, but you did not need to speak on my favor, dear one. Whilst I do appreciate having such a princess to advocate for me, your father must marry someone of his station.”

She has such a look of disappointment on her face that Vader softens to her, being quick to say:

“Daddy will just play pretend with some people because of his work, sweetheart. He is not marrying anyone without you and your brother’s approval.”

“Do you promise?“ Leia pouts.

Vader covers her face with kisses which brings his child to giggles. After she and Luke are calmer than before, he decides to take them to bed.

“Say goodbye to Miss Y/N and Mrs H/N.” Vader tells the twins. “And Leia, stop picking on your brother. That is not nice.”

As he is taking them upstairs, though, Vader could not help himself. He turns his head in the same moment you are lifting yours so glances are met. As if he needed confirmation, Vader’s heart seems to pump faster.

***

Your POV.

The day of the feast proves to be very difficult for you. Not only because there are ladies and her retinues of a higher station than that you were part of. But because you, according to the etiquettes so well known by Mrs H/N, are not expected to take part in it.

“The children will be there with their father, but we must not interact. The day is going to be off for you, my dear.”

To your bitter disappointment, you are not allowed to stay with the twins—you’ve grown so attached to them that to be apart of the children felt like you were forced to be separated from your own children. And then of course, this leads you to considerate that you are not the one to espouse Mr Vader because of who you are, which prompts you to an angst never felt before.

I’m so close, yet I’ll for ever stay so far.

Eventually, thus, you excuse yourself from the presence of Mrs H/N; you need some time to be alone. You go to the depths of the gardens, decided that some fresh air would do you well.

But inevitably you see him flirting with some of the noble ladies. From afar, you spot his handsomeness, his wicked grin, his malicious eyes all omitting the gallant, caring and gentle man he is. Yet, it’s not the exhibition of these traits—often disdained for being associated to the Siths—that hurt your feelings, but the fact they are not being exhibited to you.

You grab the skirts of your gown graciously and move ahead into the gardens, heavy chest and blurry eyes. Your conscience battles your heart, claiming reason where the other sustains the sentiment.

You feel suffocated in the process, trying to demove the jealousy to poison you. You try to breathe, but air seems so thin that you have to stop pacing anxiously. When you do take a seat at a bench located at the core of the gardens, you feel you are about to burst into tears.

It’s when he comes to you, much to your dismay. Perplexed by the sudden apparition of Mr Vader, you are quick to stand, straighten the skirt of your gown and greet him properly.

“There is no need to curtsy, Y/N.” Mr Vader speaks to you gently, and he offers you a hand to take. He notices you are shaking. “What is wrong with you? I sense you are deeply in disturbance.”

Your mind has descended into chaos and Mr Vader knows it, for he finds repelled by the conflict there is in you. You realize he’s been reading you, though unable to reach out for you.

“Mr Vader, I am well.” You assure him, though the lie has a bitter taste in your tongue.

“Please, Y/N.” He pulls you closer to him. Unusual close, to the point where you smell his scent. Your knees threaten to go weaker. “I know you are giving me a false testimony. You are usually self composed and in balance to yourself…”

You abruptly remove his hand out of his and turn your back on him, much to his consternation. He tries to rest his hands around your waist, but Vader is agitated by how you seem farther to reach.

“Talk to me, Y/N.” His voice is painful enough to make you turn at him.

When you do, Mr Vader is surprised to find tears puddling in your eyes. Immediately the cause becomes known to him.

“Do you think I am an automaton? — a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong!”

“My princess…” Mr Vader steps forward as you burst into tears. “I’ve never meant to underestimate the good nature of your feelings. Often I judged me to be unworthy of your consideration and esteem towards me. Never did I intend to mislead you in thinking you were not enough for me. ‘Tis I the only of us to be below of your goodness, kindness and all the light you’ve exhale. That you find my demons and embrace them instead of attempting to exercise them… gives light of your character and the weakness of mine.”

Your heart warms upon his words, they are a balsam to the wounds of your past that have been recently open with your aunt’s death. However, there is still doubt in your eyes as when you say:

“Oh, Mr Vader, Mr Vader! How can you not see? Had you been so low and undeserving of my affections, you’d never have planted the seed of it in me.” You sob. “In vain have I struggled to remove any sign of attachment to you, in vain have I battled myself to ensure there is little space to let the admiration grow and…”

But you words never make to the end. Your desperation is cut down when Mr Vader snakes his arms around your waist, lifting one hand to place in the back of your neck and finally presses a kiss in your lips.

You are surprised, but from the moment his tongue searches for yours, your heart eases. Your mind goes blank.

Mr Vader smiles when feeling the peace that washes over you. He then parts the kiss so you see that there is no space for doubts anymore. As he strokes your cheeks, Vader tells you:

“I love you, Y/N. I’ve loved you from the day you came. There is no space for any other that is not you.”

You sigh in content. You lean you forehead against his and smile, pleased not only to have cleansed from jealousy but to know you are loved in turn.

“And I will always love you, Mr Vader.”

***

Epilogue.

The marriage happened in a beautiful ceremony, intimate, where only the twins and Mrs H/N acted as witnesses. You’ve never seen Leia and Luke so happy as the date you became Mrs Vader.

“In truth, it’s Skywalker”, Luke was telling you. “But daddy doesn’t like this surname very much.”

You giggled and promised them to be a very caring mother. As for Mrs H/N, she said:

“You are younger than I expected his second wife to be, dear Y/N. But seeing how happier he’s become with you, I cannot protest.”

“I assure you, dear Mrs H/N, we make each other very happy.”

But the event did not happen without some complications. The Emperor saw you as a point of opposition to his rule and tried to subjugate you to his will, a tactic that did not serve him well. Vader was prompted to remove him out of his way.

That is how, after you married him, you are elevated to the charge of Empress. Could you believe your luck?

“You are the most beautiful Empress I’ve ever come to known.” He whispers at you every morning as you wake in his arms.

“I’ve never been luckier to count you as the desire of my heart.”

You smile at him before taking his face with gentleness and kiss his lips. You don’t mind his darkness, his temper; he is yours and yours alone. Together, the force is balanced. And the merry environment is all you’ve wanted and he provides you this.

As the day Vader comes from a day after defeating a cell of rebells, he finds you in your state robes playing hide and seek with Luke and Leia. You are pregnant and the belly is prominent, but you don’t see to mind.

“My love, you must be careful.” He smiles warmly at you, leant against the door.

You are now on the floor, tickling Luke and planting kisses in Leia’s face. How can he resist what he sees? You look so happy and so do his children.

Vader closes the door and tosses the cape away. He joins you and holds his family close. The Emperor has never before been in harmony.