#and you might read this and think well the context with MY bestie is different so this doesn’t apply

[winteradder]

lesson I wish I could pass on to others because it is so painful and not especially necessary to experience this yourself: if you are the one special person in a someone’s life, and this is someone who does not keep anyone else around because other people are too wrong in whatever way, but you’re kept as a friend because you are really patient or kind or “just get it”. and you stand by this person as they cut people off over basic human communication errors, and you’re reassured you’re the special chosen friend. and they promise you’re really the best friend, and they tell you it’s so helpful and so good for them to have you because you’re different then them, more patient, maybe quieter. this will end badly. that friend’s actions? they are demonstrations of how they will treat you when they decide your differences are errors that harm them instead of gifts that support them. and I bet there are ways that you are moving in that relationship that is people pleasing to prevent them turning this behavior on you. and you can love them! oh boy you can love them. but ultimately, you’re giving your heart to someone who’s telling you plainly they will break it. your specialness will become something they wield against you. and I’d never shame you for still standing by your (likely) traumatized friend who does this. but you gotta believe their actions, not their words. you gotta protect your heart.

[galvanizedfriend]

hii Yokan <3 How are you??

I was wondering how many people from Mystic Falls did you keep alive in TW4 !!! 👀👀 In TVD/TO, by the time Klaus was released, Enzo(💔), Stefan, and Tyler got killed. In addition, Elena woke up and took the cure with Damon.

Not that I really care about any of them (except my dad, aka Lorenzo St John), but I did notice that you mentioned Stefan visiting the girls during these 5 years, and after a worrisome amount of times I re-read that story, I got curious!

Is Enzo alive? Is Elena awake? Is Enzo alive? Is Tyler alive? Did Elena and Damon take the cure? Is Enzo alive? Did Alaric create the school, but in a different building? Is Enzo alive?

I remember you saying that, besides Alaric, someone from MFS will make an appearance, and i kinda want to know how much canon did you bring in to understand how much fucked up they are 😭😭😭 (my take was Bonnie as a "special guest", due to the whole Hollow thing, but I know you're a Klefan girl, so I wouldn't be too surprised if Stefan would be the one to show up)

love u, have a good day!

Hii, friend! 😊 Your messages are always so good 😂

So in my heart, and this might come up at some point in the story (I had a whole extra scene planned where they would talk about some of the things Klaus had missed out on in chapter 2, but then I deleted all the extras at the end of that chapter, starting with that scene I posted as an Outtake, because it wasn't vibing): Damon is the one who died to save the city or whatever, and Stefan is very much alive. Enzo is also alive because I can't forgive Stefan for killing him, so that never happened. Elena was heartbroken and in mourning for a while after waking up, but let's face it, she was always supposed to end up with Stefan anyway, so they are now both human and happily together (I think it hasn't been enough time for her to have finished Med School and be married with kids yet). The school does exist because Stefan gave it to Alaric on Damon's behalf (they were besties, after all) when he was looking for a place. It's not Jo's and Alaric's school for gifted kids or whatever the hell that's called (Jo is also alive, if you remember from TW2, because Mikaelsons were present while Kai was wreaking havoc). Tyler is dead, Damon still killed him (fuck Tyler tbh). As for the special guest, I could keep the mystery, but the truth is I think I've already mentioned this a few times? It's Bonnie. She will play a part in the resolution at the end of the season. I could bring Stefan back as well, but in this context it doesn't really make much of a difference because Klaus is a happily married man 😂 There is nothing for Stefan here. I think that answers yours questions? Let me know if I missed anything 😂 Thanks for the ask, friend! Have a wonderful week!

[mcgnagallsarmy]

Top 10 Nick x Charlie fics I’ve read (Dec 2024)

forever and a day by flannelfeelings [T]

“Have I hurt you?” he gasps out, though he’s unable to release his grip. Charlie looks down at their intertwined hands, managing a small, humorless chuckle. “You’re absolutely mad, Nelson. You’ve got a broken ankle and you’re worried about holding my hand too hard?” (Nick gets injured during a rugby game when Charlie comes to visit for the weekend- fluff caretaking ensues)

Hurry Home by L56895 [T]

Nick Nelson is just trying to get home to his mum for Christmas. Unfortunately, he seems to be infuriating an attractive stranger every step of the way.

Narlie Waves by waveofyou [E]

A Heartstopper California AU where Nick (31) and the HS crew we know and love live in SoCal. Charlie (29) leaves his London office to work in San Diego for a year. Nellie makes a new puppy bestie. Nick is adorable teaching little first graders. Charlie looks hot playing the drums. Nick looks hot surfing. They…ahem…enjoy Nick’s pool…and shower…and balcony. The boys weirdly get snowed in at one point. In Southern California, go figure. Nick helps Charlie see that he's deserving of big, loud love from a certain golden retriever person. Charlie helps Nick to trust that his love is not conditional, that he's safe to fully express himself. A leaves falling, flower petals swirling story of queer love with a spectacular ocean view 🍂🌊🍂 ⚠️ This is NOT a slow burn. They feel the spark, follow it and make fire Any explicit sections are denoted with “🍂🔥🍂” Any triggering flashback, panic attack or detailed eating disorder moments with “🍂⚠️🍂�� …so they can be skipped and the story still enjoyed- I’ve written it so no major plot is lost by skipping these sections 🫶🏻 Alternates between Charlie and Nick POV ♥️

Rugby Lad by sophisticatedyet [T]

Charlie thinks agreeing to join the Truham rugby team at the request of Mrs Singh is possibly the worst decision he’s ever made. Then Nick Nelson, the St John’s fly half, sweeps him off his feet (literally) and Charlie decides maybe rugby isn’t so bad. AKA: the Charlie and Nick are on rival rugby teams AU.

Speak my language by aprms [T]

Charlie is hopelessly in love with his best friend. He’s also not very good at picking up on hints. Four times Nick shows Charlie he loves him, and one time Charlie returns the favour. A love letter to love languages. Will be posting every day in the run up to Valentine's Day. ❤️

under the mistletoe by thetomkatwholived [T]

“And what exactly does me being nice to you entail in this context?” “Stay by my side the rest of the night. Go where I go. Can’t get me alone under the mistletoe if I’m never alone!” Nick grinned with pride, as if he had devised a foolproof plan. “So no different than what you two would have done anyway?” Tara smirked knowingly, and Charlie avoided her gaze. Or, Nick has to spend the party avoiding Higgs girls under the mistletoe, and Charlie has to spend the party pretending he doesn’t want to meet Nick under that same mistletoe.

you are the best thing in my life by kaalee [M]

It's Friday, Nick's mum is out, and the boys need a shower. Domestic things happen, the power goes out, they are very naked together, and they discover that they might have the best relationship ever.

What About Charlie? by properrugbynerd [T]

Nick Nelson has spent over half of his life being Charlie Spring’s best friend, and nearly just as long being prodded about Charlie’s love life. What happens when someone asks Nick if he will set him up with Charlie?

wherever i end up (with you in my arms) by kissmeinnewyork [T]

“Honestly,” Nick says, dumbfounded, “It’s like I’ve never been home alone before.” Charlie raises a bemused eyebrow. “Well.” Nick corrects himself, a little sheepish, handing him a piece of crumpled notepaper. “Home parentless, then, if we’re getting technical about it.” When Sarah goes on holiday, Nick and Charlie are left to play house. (A story about house rules, rom-coms, invisible strings and Charlie being Sarah's favourite son).

Wish You'd See You How I See You by CarleyT [E]

Nick has been having a hard time lately accepting compliments and believing he's deserving of the same love and care he gives to others. Charlie needs his boyfriend to see how wonderful he truly is.

[reitheist]

bucchigiri ep 9 thoughts:

taken over huh... is that also what senya is doing to arajin maybe? like with the magic trampstamp (words i never expected to write...)

shindo is a bitch and pathetic but i enjoy his character unfortunately (in my defense, my interpretation of him threatening to do That to mahoro was just to make arajin pissed and get him to reveal senya. i think it was kind of narrative low-hanging fruit honestly.)

'is that a yes or no' take a wild fucking guess buddy

zabuuuuuu you are such a good friend

senya hitting people as a show of affection lol

matakara gathering money, presumably he was saving to get an apartment with his brother. what's he planning to use it for?

oh my godddd the cat boy drama 💀 this side gag is so stupid but so funny i love it. i imagine jasmine as as a pure white long hair cat and pu'er as a classic brown tabby. also cat boy getting way too invested in his personal life is *chefs kiss*

arajin is trying his absolute best to convince himself he doesn't care about matakara

the dynamic between komao, zabu, and ara is really funny. i think in other shows they might just sideline the friend characters but they really have an awkward 'friend of a friend' dynamic i like. komao isn't really socially aware enough to be mean to ara despite being him being mean to matakara, and zabu is more hostile but puts most of that aside for matakara's sake. it's like your friends scoping out your awful crush lmao

THE LIFE SIZED NAKED MARITO DOLL? EXCUSE ME??? there is so much wrong with mahoro oml

wait is the life sized naked marito doll marito's? that's somehow weirder.

mahoro, is that concern for a person who isn't your brother? wow

matakara :(

so is the 'monster' literal or metaphorical? interesting

ichiya you're hot as hell but stop telling matakara to draw away from his friends you bitch

'one person would've wanted it' stopppppp 😭 arajin is realizing he liked having matakara around while matakara is being turned against his friends by ichiya. the dramatic irony is killing me

the fact that this 'love forever stone' is a lake blue stone wrapped specifically in a blue cloth as well... that thing is definitely going to be given to matakara by the end, right? pretty gay if you ask me.

ohhhh my god mahoro character growth. plus her relating to him specifically through their shared brother idolization is a good touch. very sweet

mahoro's basically saying like "dude how are you only focused on yourself and me right now. how have you not noticed your childhood friend is depressed and crazy in love with you. like seriously he has not been subtle. at all." lmao i love herrrrrrr

mahoro deserves her own show

also relieved to have ara's interpretation of matakara and mahoro's relationship as romantic to be kind of trivialized again in this scene. i think their dynamic is more interesting as two very different personalities which share just enough to relate with each other. she only wants ara to get his shit together for matakara's sake. i want them to be besties please

arajin is The Worst with emotions huh. he can't read other's feelings and he's somehow worse at reading his own. he needs to stop being relatable right this second

yknow at this point i think i can say i truly and properly enjoy arajin as a character. he's mostly an asshole and deeply emotionally unintelligent but i like him regardless and because of it

ah senya ichiya and arajin matakara parallels as i expected

so does senya=matakara and ichiya=arajin kind of?

i really wasn't joking about them being exes huh

stoppppp ichiya gave him his name? senya was and continues to be so ridiculously down bad

'he meant absolutely everything to me.' dude.

senya is trying to get ara and matakara together bc he couldn't do that for him and ichiya

i am so gd curious what happened to drive them apart

matakara losing sight why he wanted to become a honki person in the first place (ara) and trying to destroy it

'what senya wants is your body' context needed.

i'm thinking maybe ichiya is willing to fully take over bodies and senya isn't, thus why he hasn't done it to arajin already. that or he was planning to in the beginning but got too attached

ohhh this is gonna make for a good dramatic fight

ughhhh another really good episode. i think the story's finally full found its stride. very hyped for the last 3 episodes. i think next episode will probably deal with betrayal between senya and ara, leading senya to explain exactly what happened between him and ichiya. matakara will trying to fight ara and ara will have to run away, frustrating matakara even more. mahoro might focus on trying to help matakara

[sincerelyhannahx]

reading 'a curse for true love' for the first time

'caraval' was my favourite fantasy series until i read 'once upon a broken heart' and i have been WAITING for the waterstones edition paperback of 'a curse for true love' to come out for over a year (its got to match the rest of my set - the reader girlies get it) AND NOW I FINALLY HAVE IT!!! and i always wish i could read my favourite books for the first time again so this might help me relive this experience.

this goes without saying but there will be spoilers for 'a curse for true love' by stephanie garber up ahead (albeit without context) so just a heads-up for that.

my first time reading 'ouabh' and 'tbona' i was like apollo, you're a bitch. my second time reading 'ouabh' and 'tbona' i was like apollo, you're less of a bitch. so now i'm going into this one very conflicted. obviously erasing eva's memories is a big no but i don't think it was out of malice... although i'm expecting to be proven wrong.

why do i feel like martine is marisol? or someone else relevant. i'm going to be second guessing everyone because they could literally just lie and i'd have no idea.

SHE'S SEVENTEEN??? i knew that but jesus christ she is a child.

omg a new gentleman??? JACKS??? nvm its kristof. i got excited for nothing. where's jacks? i miss him.

OMFG SHE'S REMEMBERING THE CLIFF JUMP FROM 'TBONA' AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH that's so valid i think about it all the time too bestie.

wait apollo pov??? OHHHHMYYYYGOODDDDDDD!!!!!!

this is interesting character development for apollo i like it. i like that his 'death' changed him and we're not just back to square one.

lmaoooo ofc luc ran away.

oh shit yeah the valors are back. why did i assume they'd just be sat in the vault the whole time? obviously they're going to be up and about doing things.

GET PREGNANT WITH AN HEIR??? 1) let's circle back to the fact she is SEVENTEEN??? 2) then let's circle back to the fact SHE DOES NOT REMEMBER THIS MAN, that's literally sexual assault no thanks let's not do that.

wait tiberius gave him the scars? that's odd. why? give me the reasoning.

what has this wanted poster done to jacks' face??? just say you're jealous and move on.

EVANGELINE FOX AND THE PRINCE OF HEARTS!!! this is the one you want to be reading eva.

garrick you bitch.

noooooooo the engagement is over??? i mean i know it was inevitable but sorry for wanting my girl lala to be happy.

ooh what's this scroll?

'please come!' OMG IS THIS LALA??? SHE WAS DESCRIBED WITH SILVER HAIR BEFORE??? LALA IS THIS YOU??? i'm clowning so hard rn.

SOMEONE PUSHED HER??? wait why do i actually not know who. like who's the villain? there's apollo but he genuinely cares for eva... even if he's going about it in all the wrong ways. wait is this him to be like 'told you its not safe'? omg istg if it is.

awww wait this is like the story of how her parents met. that's cute.

jacks??? JACKS??? JACKS!!! sorry but who tf is evangeline i only know little fox.

omg memories from the hollow i'm going to cry.

NAHHHHH SHUT THE FUCK UP - WE GET A JACKS POV??? HOLD UP I NEED TO DO A LAP AROUND MY ROOM OMG!!! stephanie garber i love you.

jacks you're so down bad i'm laughing out loud.

'you can call me archer' OH WE ARE SO BACK ALEXA PLAY THE ARCHER.

'or i'll toss you off this bridge' help you can't lie anymore jacks i see right through you and your empty threats. you won't do shit.

okay but why is he training her? who's trying to kill her? or is he just paranoid? well obviously not if someone pushed her down a well. and this wouldn't be the first time she'd died. but even so give me names. tiberius? marisol? luc?

THE KNIFE!!! that whole scene was crazy but THE KNIFE!!!

... wait he's twenty? but evangeline's seventeen. what age are you considered an adult in the north? please help. (i know jacks is like a thousand or whatever but that's different.)

OMG IT WAS APOLLO THAT PUSHED HER!!! not him specifically BUT STILL HIM!!! THAT BASTARD!!! AND HE'S TORTURING INNOCENT PEOPLE TO TAKE THE BLAME??? nah fuck this guy this ain't protective this is batshit insane.

okay nvm i think martine is just a maid. she's probably not marisol.

wait if she goes to the hollow will her memories come back because curses don't work there? idk if its a memory curse but that could be a shout... or i just want an excuse to go to the hollow again.

i thought i wasn't going to like aurora but ykw she's a girlie™

is the employer apollo? i know he arranged for her to be pushed down a well but this seems a bit dramatic. like is he okay?

shit the fortunas are gone that's big. OMG THIS WAS CHAOS WASN'T IT? or castor now ig. BUT HE WAS THE MONSTER FROM THE VALORY and its also strange we haven't seen him yet.

NVM APOLLO IS A CONFIRMED PSYCHOPATH - SERIOUSLY IS HE OKAY?

no don't kiss him eva; he's just stabbed a child.

I KNEW IT WAS CASTOR which probably wasn't too hard to figure out but i'm giving myself credit where i can.

so i'm going to need jacks to become human again by the end of this or i don't know what i'm going to do. give my man his humanity back.

TRUSTING BYRON OVER AURORA??? yeah sorry eva we're not agreeing on this one. girl code says never trust a guy over a girl.

THIS IS WHAT I SAID NEVER TRUST A MAN FOR FUCKS SAKE. wait petra. oh well this has just got more interesting.

oh eva :(

JACKS!! FRIENDS DON'T STAB EACH OTHER!! although realistically chaos should have died long ago so that's just the universe righting itself. although by that logic evangeline should also be dead. but if chaos died when he was supposed to then she wouldn't have died so the universe owes her one.

oh nvm he's not dead.

'I AM A MONSTER BUT I'M YOUR MONSTER, EVANGELINE' EVERYBODY SHUT UP I'M GOING TO START CRYING AGAIN.

THEY'RE BACK IN THE HOLLOW I AM WEEPING.

'ONE BED' I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO SEE TWO WORDS IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! well maybe except for little fox. BUT EVAJACKS ONE BED TROPE THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED!!!

are his eyes bloodshot because he cries blood? don't do this to me stephanie garber i'm fragile.

SHE REMEMBERS AAHHHHH OKAY ITS HAPPENING THIS IS NOT A DRILL THIS IS NOT A DRILL THIS IS THE REAL THING PEOPLE BRACE YOURSELVES wait where did jacks go?

I AM AN AURORA VALOR STAN I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS!

nvm the whole thing was aurora's fault. although ykw i don't even care, that's just gaslight gatekeep girlboss behaviour.

apollo. you and me are going to have words. you need a serious reality check.

LALA I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH THE BESTIES ARE BACK TOGETHER!!! eva, lala, aurora - girlie trio that's all i want.

'what's the point of having friends if they're not there to support your bad decisions?' after drinking way too much wine - they are so girlhood.

NOPE DON'T TRUST HIM THIS ISN'T JACKS WHEN HAS HE EVER USED THE NAME 'PET'. wait no no no no no no this is apollo. this must be what aurora gave him to make evangeline love him. HE'S PRETENDING TO BE JACKS!!!

nvm its not apollo. BUT IT STILL ISN'T JACKS.

aurora valor i love you so much.

the way aurora is the villain now and i still can't bring myself to hate her.

AURORA PUT THE ARCHER'S CURSE ON JACKS DIDN'T SHE?

ohhh wait dane is dane valor. i thought the brother of aurora's that lala was in love with was castor. why are there so many valors i can't remember them all i was like who the hell is dane? but then why was there such a vibe between lala and castor...

see aurora isn't entirely evil (but even if she was, i'd still support her).

"ONLY A GIRL WHO WILL NEVER LOVE JACKS CAN SURVIVE THE KISS" that's so funny go donatella you absolute legend.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"YOU WERE DYING" "NO I JUST FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE" OOOOOOHHHHHHHMYYYYYGGOOOODODDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

omg apollo can you actually go away. like i'm over this now.

'it is. its taking you.' AHAHAHA OMG GET FUCKED APOLLO

its over. i'm not ready. stephanie garber please write a fourth one. i don't need a plot or any conflict. a sitcom-esque fourth book with domestic evajacks. please. that's all i need. i'm so empty without it.

[yourlocalartsonist]

MONTLY MFIP UPDATE

8/13 | Month 1 | Next Month

Hey hey hey folks! Been a while, I know but we’re here now! If you’re wondering “what the fuck is this” basically I decided to take notes from my bestie @yosajaeofficial and do monthly updates for MFIP the way they do em for their story JMC so it doesn’t look like I’m dead :D (BTW Please go check out the Jayce Myles Comics, it’s gonna be a rise comic and hasn’t debuted yet but Jae’s been working super hard on it and I guarantee if you guys like MFIP, then you’ll love the JMC too so give em a follow to stay updated~)

Anywhizzle, I know I don’t update often but truth be told, I don’t usually have much publishable material. Most of the MFIP related artwork I do are usually things I can’t reveal till future chapters. They’re lore-significant and would be kinda spoilerish if I posted them before the chapters are ready so womp womp on me. All the other art I do are either for different stories, sketches, or just not things I really wanna publish at least as their own posts. I do, however, wanna show I’m not speaking out my ass so I’mma show a few of em here actually :3

First one’s like one of my favorite things ever even if it’s pretty simple. I just wanted to explore Salena’s dynamics with some of the villains and sketch em out for funsies but only got as far as Meatsweats and Kendra. Still one of the funniest shit to me ESPECIALLY the random ass beef Salena and Meatsweats have. It came out of fucking nowhere but both have accepted it as just their dynamic now. Funfact, it wasn’t even planned; I accidentally made Meatsweats the villain for chapters 1 and 3 and decided “fuck it, the bond is funny” so now they’re mortal enemies for no reason other than pure coincidence💀✨

Wanted to show this one because it’s cute and I love it. It’s one of my more recent sketches (hence the brush being changed) I did on a day I wasn’t really feeling too well and kinda craved Raph’s big-brother comfort. I might go in and actually finish this one ngl cuz it’s just really sweet to me

SPOILER!

I also wanted to show a sneak peek at one of the chapter artworks that I mentioned earlier I cannot post yet. I’m not revealing any of the context or what chapter it’s from, but trust me y’all are in for a ride🤭✨✨✨

Alrighty, so that’s all I have for the art section. It’s not all though since I do wanna talk about the actual chapter progress itself in this next section

So, all y’all know the last chapter posted was chapter 9 and the one I’m working on currently is chapter 10. It’s got 19 pages so far in the docs but still kinda near the beginning. Chapter 9 was HUGE for me to write and I kinda think it’s the longest chapter I’ve written in general even including chapters from other stories I’ve written in the past so it really put me through a trip. I’m really happy and proud with how it turned out but it did burn me out a little so I’ve spent most of my summer break resting and regaining my energy. I’ve dabbled into other projects, other stories, AUs, etc. A lot of it was self-indulgent stuff which may still be posted on a separate account but it does mean I wasn’t progressing much with MFIP itself. I never abandoned it though or even properly stepped away from it tbh, it stayed in my mind and I kept having ideas that I added to my notes or just random brainrot I liked expanding on. It also gave me a chance to approach chapter 10 with a new lens cuz it had to be mentally reworked a few times to properly convey what I wanted it to. It’s still not fully figured out but it’s planned out in my head enough for me to ball it when writing the actual chapter itself as usual

I’ve also been working on some oneshots too! They’re kinda optional treats for anyone who wants to read em. They do have significance in the story but it’s not gonna leave you completely lost about the lore or anything if you choose not to read them. I’ll be posting at least the first one soon, I’m not sure yet cuz the order is indeed important for the timeline sake. But anywho, expect to see some of that as fun bonus content!

Now that the chapter update’s done, I did wanna talk more to you guys about writing and the story itself. I know I’ve become incredibly slow at updating the story but I do wanna reassure you guys that I still love MFIP and have a lot of passion for it, as well as working on it as hard as I can. The reason these chapters take longer is ironically because of that. I used to be able to pump out a chapter within a few weeks but those were the REALLY early days. My chapters grew to be much longer than I ever thought they’d be and they’re filled to the brim with important details and crucial moments that I can’t take out or rush without it feeling sloppy and lacking. The quality’s also increased thanks to my wonderful team editing the chapters for any typos or continuity errors and working on MFIP with as much passion as I am but that means they need to be given enough time to do their jobs properly. My love for MFIP is greater than it’s ever been and that’s saying something cuz I was quite obsessed since day one. But since there’s so much to do and I wanna be able to make the quality worthwhile, it takes me much longer to complete chapters. On top of that, there’s obviously life stuff going on too. I still have to focus on college and study for it, especially since I’m majoring in physics, and I have to take care of my mom a lot since she’s a breast cancer survivor (officially been a decade now🦾) so we got A LOOOOOOT of doctor appointments every month. It’s just our normal. I do wish there was a way I could work faster or increase the amount of hours in a day but hey, at least we’re all waiting together. I can promise you this much: if I ever decide to drop the story—which I believe is VERY HIGHLY UNLIKELY—I’ll be sure to let y’all know. I won’t ghost or randomly delete it out of nowhere someday. As far as I’m aware, I have full intent to keep this story going and keep communication clear between us :3

But yea, all in all, I think that’s all from me for this month’s update!

I hope this was a satisfying update to read (and to know the story ain’t abandoned—) and I hope next month I’ll have some cool things to show too. Maybe I’ll consider showing a written WIP next month? I’m not too sure since I usually like keeping my chapters a surprise till they’re fully done but I’ll consider it depending on how far the chapter is. For now though, I must bid y’all farewell! I’ll still be here to answer asks or do fun tag games and maybe post here and there if I have something. If ya made it this far, thank you for reading and enjoy the rest of your day everyone. Love ya guyssss🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

ROTTMNT: Moths Fly In Packs

[justagalwhowrites]

Bestieeeee! It has gotten to the point that every time I see you've updated, I get so excited! Usually, I have to wait to read the updates due to different time zones, but not this time. As soon as I saw the alert, I stopped what I was doing to read it, lol! I always try to read any chapter with as few preconceived ideas or thoughts of what might happen as possible, as it's how I enjoy reading the most. I had a vague idea of what we might get, but ufff…. when I saw those 14k words, I knew it'd be quite a ride. I loved it!

Obviously, as much as I wanted, like Bambi, that Savvy's return was all happiness and fun, Savvy's time alone was bound to bring obstacles to their reencounter, and if I think objectively and put myself into the mind of a girl her age, her reaction feels so real, and plausible, but not less hurtful to Bambi. At least she has Joel and Ellie to help her navigate this situation and look out for Savvy, and there's also Gattling. There's nothing like cuddling with your dog when you're having a bad day. What about Nike? She might have not returned with Savvy, but can I keep thinking she's alive and happy forever? I hate it when animals die in stories or movies.

I understand Bambi's desire and need to not tell Savvy what she's gone through these past years, but I cannot see how she can make her truly understand without telling her. I guess I'll have to wait and be surprised by how it happens.

Despite how angsty it was, I felt this sense of comfort in the background, like I could feel Joel's care in the distance with his food boxes and how he helps Bambi with her panic attacks, giving her the space to come and go as she needs. It felt natural how seeing and knowing Joel would take care of Savvy as if she were his own would make her take the last step that kept her from trusting Joel again. That final scene was perfect. And don't start me on how Joel and Bambi kept putting Ellie and Savvy in the same box and calling them mine to other people and ours when talking to each other. You had me grinning like a loon at those possessive pronouns.

Am I wrong to agree with Ellie and Joel's perfect idea of how to handle Cody? I cannot stop the little voice in my head telling me the issue is not settled and Cody will bring trouble in some way in the upcoming chapters.

Thanks for the update!♥️♥️♥️

AHHHH HI BESTIE!

Yeah a LOT happened in this chapter lol like at the end when I was editing it I was like "...I should have made this two chapters but OH WELL WE'RE IN IT NOW!" I'm so glad you liked it, though!

The Savvy situation is so hard. I just couldn't see a teenaged girl reacting any other way. Honestly, anyone, I think, would feel immensely betrayed without the proper context but a child who was left to fend for themselves for damn hear 1/3rd of their life because the only human being they had abandoned them? That's going to cut really, really deep. There's a lot to work out and I get why Bambi doesn't want to tell her - she doesn't want to hurt Savvy any more than she's already hurting, she doesn't want her to see her differently, etc. - but working through this without the proper context is a big ask. Unfortunately we know what happened to Nike, she was what Mitchum offered as proof he captured Savvy back in chapter 22. But she had a good, long life - 22 years! - and was well loved and cared for and went quick.

I just LOVE how Joel is at this point in his life. He's healed so much from who he was in the QZ and he loves as fiercely as he ever has. I think that's his defining trait honestly, he's a man who feels deeply and loves very, very hard. He loves Bambi so he'll be whatever she needs him to be, he's not a selfish man, he is the type who will bleed himself dry for his loved ones if they asked. And Joel is just such a father at heart that of course he's going to take care of Savvy. Even if she wasn't Bambi's daughter he'd take care of her but the fact that she's Bambi's baby and the fact that she looks so much like Sarah made any other option an impossibility. So much of this fic is these two being who the other one needs them to be at the time and so often that's the same person. Bambi needed to be Ellie's mom when she was pissed at Joel, Joel needs to be Savvy's dad while Savvy's working through her shit with Bambi. I just love them all!

And yeah, you're fully correct lol Bambi has a problem with what she sees as unnecessary killing, she just doesn't like killing people. She's tough and she's strong and piss her off enough she'll slaughter you but that's never her first choice. She's paid for that in the past - if she'd just killed Mitchum when he showed up at her set up, she'd still be out there with Savvy and their horses and their garden - and we'll see if she pays for it again in the future 👀

Thank you so much for reading, Bestie!!!! Love you!!!!

[gentlelime]

NO ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY I need to talk about this for a sec

Tldr: panic attack is fr about George or like. Idk some other bestie you have communication issues with that you can't live without

Pull me up, pull me out from the cage I've known

Meaning: You deliver me from imprisonment, you free me from suffering, very much lock-key symbolism and establishes a relationship of great importance that is capable of destroying a "cage" that makes up the perspective of narrator. The "cage I've known" seems like another way of saying mind, at least to me, in the context of the song. Could also be closet symbolism as well.

Pull me up, pull me up by the roots we've grown

Meaning: The phrase "roots" when referring to relationships typically refers to a close long-term bond, especially when combined with the phrase "we've grown." It could mean "you help me from this place of pain by reminding me of our long-term bond."

Alternatively, when I hear "pull me up" I think of marionette/puppet symbolism (pulling the strings up of a puppet) although I could see it just being easier to flow within the song to use up rather than it having a deeper meaning. BUT if you were to look at the phrase "pull me up by the roots we've grown" you could interpret it as 'string me along with our friendship'. So he's saying "pull me up," repeatedly, basically submitting to the puppeteer and saying they control his feelings because of how much they mean to him. (Tbh the lyrics just reminded me of puppet by Tyler somehow so I had to mention it)

Oh, the things you said keep me in my head. Wish that I could step into yours instead

Meaning: Very straightforward. "The words you say cause me to ruminate, or overthink. I wish I knew how you felt." Gives me flashbacks to the damn best friend quiz.

Alternatively, following along with the puppet analogy, when the puppeteer says his lines, the marionette is stuck in its head, being forced to mime the words and be pulled in different directions. When the writer says "wish I could step", they could literally mean they wish they could switch roles and be the puppeteer for once. He wants to feel "in control" of the person in the same way they have control over him.

You're so close, but, I'm on my own

Meaning: I read this as saying even though the narrator might be physically close to the subject, they're mentally apart. The narrator ruminates over what the subject says, and comes to the conclusion they're "alone" in their feelings. I definitely think the second line refers to thinking your feelings are unrequited, and you're "on your own" with your feelings.

Cause I just don't know where you're going

Meaning: "I can't tell what stage our relationship is going, I don't know what you want from me." Basically saying the writer don't know where they stand with the subject, evokes the line "what do you think you're doing?" From the context of the song, I could also see it as the subject pulling away from the narrator, which causes the distress and panic attack of the chorus.

.

Like I can do this all fucking day I need to stop why is this song literally about trying to confront someone whose been in your life for a long time with your feelings and feeling afraid of being apart from that person and possibly losing them because of your feelings. Why why why why I'm going crazy I'm just staring at my transcript from a twt video I kept replaying and it's like-What, why is this your fucking favorite song dream? Oh and resident dnfer Hannah's favorite song? awesome. Cool. If george says he loves it I'm killing myself

[daz4i]

7 & 25 for kinky ask game?

thank you! uwu

7. Are there any toys you own or would really like to own? What are they? What do/would you like using them for?

. i actually own a lot ngl if we get into my toy drawer(+shelf) we'll be here all night. i like trying new things and i rarely buy anything else for myself so might as well yknow?

as for stuff i want 😳 actually i am starting to get shy lemme put this (+25's answer) under a read more

bestie i want an ovipositor dildo soooo bad. as soon as i'm moving out to live on my own i'm getting one and a tray to make those gelatin eggs fr. generally like bad dragon-esque toys of different types it seems interesting to try. but so damn expensive..... (shoutout to neotori tho. for being cheaper AND european)

25. Are there any lesser known kinks you love?

i'm gonna be so fr i have no way to measure what counts as lesser known. i mean all of this^ furry and monsterfucking stuff isn't particularly mainstream for example but it's definitely known esp in geekier communities. pussy torture seems to be relatively niche but it's not like ppl don't know it 🤔

actually nvm i just realized i like cannibalism and necro (play. or in fantasy. mostly fantasy, it's a bit hard to play lol) i think those count maybe. in a sexual context at least

[stomach-bugg09]

summary: the na’vi know how to adapt. and they know how to party. so, what’s a little combination of the two?

neteyam x oc(1) // (implied) lo’ak x oc(2)

a/n: okay, so rq before you begin to read this partial mess partial beauty, here’s a bit of context: these are two ocs made by me and my bestie boo, so, as these ocs were the first thing that started my creativity streak, i decided to write this lil thing about them — do not be shocked if they show up again, because they’re the cutest lil pair and i love them. if x oc fics aren’t your thing, no harm, no foul, totally get it! but, i hope you can enjoy this anyway! (also!! let me know if you a) want a part two, or b) would like to be tagged in my next avatar fics)

tags: @pinkhotdogsfr @eywas-heir (idk if y'all preferred x ocs or x readers so i just did both -- rather be safe than sorry, but don't feel obligated to read at all!!)

REQUESTS ARE NOW OPEN!!

a date to celebrate

every year in the beautiful world of pandora, ever since that fateful battle fifteen years prior, there is a call to celebrate.

now, it might seem odd to throw a party over such a gruesome event, and that detail is anything but ignored, given the celebration is four days long with one day meant solely for grieving the lives lost thanks to the sky-people, but there is so much more behind that famous battle than just death and destruction.

on that day, the day in which the na’vi people regained control of their lands, their homes, and their lives, pandora became united. clans from around the globe, clans with an array of different people, different cultures, different homes, different lives, all came together and became one pandora.

despite the pain and loss that came with that date, there also seemed to be a newly made connection, though bittersweet.

in response to the pain inflicted upon the na’vi people, a sense of stubbornness arose from the angry community. they decided, after looking at the forest that was littered with the bodies of those they loved, that they would not let the sky-people win. ever. and to keep them from doing so, the na’vi made it so that they would not let this day weigh upon the lives of everyone else who had been blessed by eywa, everyone else who still stood, breathed, and walked on their planet.

they decided that it would become a date to remember. a date to appreciate. a date to celebrate.

the first day was always the most difficult. the transition from mourning and grief to a place of happiness and excitement, that always had avirya in a doozy.

of course, she always felt so silly thinking that way. especially considering the fact that she never actually knew her father. all that she really knew is that he went into that battle believing that he would return home to his infant son and newly pregnant mate.

avirya never knew her father, but she was all too familiar with the lack of one. her mother, pawey, tried to be strong… and she was! but, avirya couldn’t help but feel like it was her mother’s fault for joining that raid five years ago. that raid of six people in which all of them lost their lives, including the parents of avirya’s childhood best friend, tarya.

for the past five years, since the losses of their parents, tarya and avirya have been sheltered by avirya’s older brother with the help of the sully family.

unfortunately, although both girls were well aware of the reality of it all, that life could only last so long. her older brother, tstaw, had a life to live, a life far bigger than the two girls that weighed him down, as much as he denied it. he had a mate, and it wouldn’t be long before they were expecting a child of their own, so, as unusual as it was, the two best friends adopted a sense of maturity as they decided that they would house themselves together, just the two of them.

as a result, tarya and avirya often found themselves surrounded by the sullys. part of their affiliation with the family stemmed from their small childhood connection thanks to neytiri’s friendship with the girls’ late mothers, but recently they got even closer with them after neteyam and avirya finally let the public know of their secret relationship (and as much as they deny it, everybody knows that tarya and lo’ak have sparked the beginning of their own journey).

so, as the trend of life has recently been going, tarya and avirya woke up early to busy themselves with members of the sullys. thanks to the ftxozä te nìolo', they were expected, as the omaticaya’s olo’eyktan family, to help set up the center of the forest for the (what seemed like thousands of) clans that were arriving later that afternoon.

still adjusting to the emotional environment, avirya found herself dreary and partially depressed, if anything, as tuk babbled on and on about some form of seven-year-old nonsense while she led avirya and tarya through the morning-lit forest.

dew balanced delicately on the leaves, the mud underneath their feet allowing for a bit of give as they walked. the air was nice, not humid, but not cold. just enough sun with just enough breeze.

avirya could feel the concerned eyes of tarya doting on her constantly, juggling the duties of entertaining tuk while also making sure avirya didn’t accidentally doze off on their walk (and if she did, it was tuk’s fault for waking them up before dawn that morning.)

guilt collected itself in her stomach, feeling awful about ruining the mood of an extremely exciting holiday, and she knew that once she heard the music, saw the clans arrive, tasted the diverse collection of food, danced with neteyam… she would be fine. perfect, even. but, avirya always struggled with transitioning. especially when the last sight she saw the night before was the memorial of her father, tears streaming down her and her brother’s cheeks.

she shook the thought away as quickly as it arrived. she needed to have fun. she needed tarya to have fun. so, avirya forced a soft smile on her face as she regained focus on the small body of tuk.

“do you know what i’m excited for, tarya?” her high-pitched voice asked, a giggle hidden beneath her words.

tarya hummed thoughtfully. “no, i don’t know. tell me!”

“i’m excited to dance. oh, i love dancing!” she squealed at the thought of it. “i love today. and tomorrow. and the day after that!”

tarya laughed, grabbing tuk right before she leapt off of the small rock she’d been perched on. the girl shrieked with delight. “oh my, tuk! when will you learn to live in the moment, you goof!” avirya couldn’t fight her own chuckle as she watched tarya spin the small seven-year-old around in her arms just before bringing her up and plopping her on her shoulders.

avirya didn’t miss the flicker of relief when tarya noticed avriya’s smile.

“what are we looking for, again?” avirya asked tuk, flicking the bottom of the girl’s foot as she walked past.

tuk groaned, rolling her eyes dramatically. she’s been watching kiri, avirya thought with a laugh. “we’re looking for pretty flowers. obviously! every year we wake up early and go find flowers to braid in our hair. don’t you remember?” the sass in that young girl’s eyes was actually quite shocking.

avirya raised her hands in mock defense. “i’m sorry, tuktuk. i didn’t realize it was such a sore spot for you.” the older girl playfully stuck her tongue out, causing all three of them to burst into giggles.

see, avirya thought. i knew it’d get better.

and it just kept getting even better. the girls had entertained themselves throughout the day by entertaining tuk, educating her in the ways of “girls’ day.” of course, that included braiding their newly picked flowers into each other's hair, as well as some extravagant mud-masks, courtesy of tuk’s favorite mud puddle.

they’d barely seen the sully family that day, only stopping by to grab snacks before leaving to go visit the stream. there was, of course, a reason for their isolation… avirya and tarya were the babysitters. because the rest of the family was expected to help set up the entire event, both girls quickly jumped onto the job of watching over tuk—it seemed much more enjoyable.

the day passed by quickly, much quicker than any of the girls could have guessed. it wasn’t long before the trio practically sprinted back to avirya and tarya’s home to get ready.

tuk, as she’d planned the day before, had all of her materials laid out in the corner of the hut, her accessories each placed in a very intricate way so they wouldn’t get tangled or hurt in any way, shape, or form.

they all rushed to get changed, pulling on their thin tops (more coverage than usual, thanks to the inevitable fate of dancing that night) and bottoms before they stood in a little train formation, painting each others’ skin with colorful paint.

after the design was finalized (and dry, despite tuk’s impatience), it was tarya’s favorite part: accessories.

while tuk already had her things planned out, the older girls were far too stupid to think ahead. so, instead, both girls were screaming at each other, throwing different items of clothing across the room as they tried to pick the perfect necklace, the perfect scarf, the perfect feathers. meanwhile, tuk sat on tarya’s bed, kicking her feet in annoyance.

eventually, although their timing was more than risky, they found their perfect outfits. each girl adopted their own color scheme, the idea of matching being one of the worst obstacles they’d faced through that chaos.

just as avirya was adjusting tarya’s scarf that hung over her bodice, the whole forest seemed to freeze at the sound of a horn blowing.

“they’re here!” tuk gasped, her small hands pressed to her cheeks. “avirya, tarya! they’re here!” she shrieked, turning to the older girls with one of the brightest smiles they’d seen grace her face.

and then… they were off.

the trio raced through the forest, tarya cursing silently as she felt some of her paint smudge after she barely avoided a tree.

although they attempted to yell at the young girl to slow down, it did not work. instead, avriya was convinced that it motivated the girl to speed up even more.

as they neared the site of festivities, the sounds of celebration became even clearer. they could feel the rumble of ikrans landing, dropping off their riders from clans away. music spread through the air, the beat of the drums creating a rhythm that they could almost feel. all in one moment, avirya remembered the magic of the ftxozä te nìolo'.

as they reached the cliff in which their guests flooded in from, the girls were able to catch sight of the toruk makto who stood with the rest of his family.

“mom!” little tuk cried, running up to neytiri. at the sound of her youngest child’s voice, the mother turned almost instinctively, dropping down and opening her arms wide so tuk could run straight into her embrace.

avirya eyed the scenery with a look of complete and utter awe. the atmosphere was nearly intoxicating, the way it filled her with a feeling that nothing else could compare to. it was beautiful.

as she stared around the center of festivities, watching as people from an array of different clans seemed to be reuniting with each other from former ftxozä te nìolo's, she didn’t even notice netayam’s presence before he leaned down and hugged her shoulders from behind.

avirya shrieked in delight, laughing as he shook her playfully. “let me go, neteyam, you skxawng.”

the boy only laughed, dropping his hand from her shoulder and onto her arms. as a result, neteyam spun the girl out of his grasp, her hair flaring outwards as she twirled.

once she stopped spinning, avirya’s smile only rested on her lips, her eyes once again tracking back to the festivities. it had only been, what, twenty minutes, and they were already dancing?

“we should join, neteyam,” she suddenly declared. her words, shocking both him and tarya, ever the eavesdropper.

he grabbed her hand softly, subconsciously playing with her fingers as he thought. “avi,” he began, words slow and thoughtful. “i want to, but my parents…” he trailed off, looking behind his shoulder to where neytiri and jake stood.

and then, all of a sudden, like eywa blessed neteyam herself, jake and neytiri could only smile at the young couple, allowing jake to catch his oldest son’s eye and nod towards the crowd of dancing na’vi.

"Go, have fun."

[heartyearning]

context for today’s rant is that i got the feedback on my jury’s written feedback in the ‘general’ section (meaning it comes from more than one person) that i’m disrespectful towards my teachers and fellow students (i got it phrased in 2 different ways for flavour) & when i asked around today who said this so i could see how i could change my behaviour (btw none of my fellow students think this which i know bc i asked and everyone was shocked that i got this feedback) all of them were ‘i dont think this but it was discussed that’ which is funny bc it means the school’s computer system has a ghost or no one wants to fucking apologise to me for a very personal and hurtful comment that they can’t back up, but anyway, i was asking for clarification & my most diplomatic teacher (who i dont for a second believe to have written this feedback bc she’d have said so to my face no doubt) was like “well some teachers are worried about you and [best friend]’s clique & think it might turn into an Intellectuals Vs Others thing” (i don’t need to tell you this is so fucking out there i nearly fell from my seat like i have never said this in my life and when this very teacher saying this made a comment about one of my less-well read fellow students i was one of the ones who ‘‘rallied’‘ or whatever in her favour) and anyway then she continued “some ppl feel like u make condescending comments & you just need to remember not everyone has had your trajectory in life” WHICH IS FUNNY because she says this bc my bestie’s got a whole philosophy degree but i’m a highschool dropout with a lower than average iq in certain subjects. which obviously isnt even close to being the point and i do know that but i’m clearly feeling very upset and mad about this whole situation.

[ciceroisthefamilycat]

10, 18, and 20 for the va asks?

Thank you so much! (the asks post)

10. What are some memorable quotes?

This is something I think Richelle does really well- setting up memorable, unique quotes.

"I set off, off to kill the man I loved." (the final line of Shadow Kiss)

“ 'Ah, those two. In a fight, they’re lethal. Around each other, they melt.' ” (Sonya about Romitri in Golden Lily)

Those are probably the biggest two- they're definitely widespread in the VA fandom (and outside for the latter) for a reason. But since my most recent reread, I've been stuck a lot on Mia's "talk about a face only a mother could love" in Frostbite (which... is yikes in context but her and Rose's zingers to each other always land). Sydney's postscripts to her letter in Blood Promise really send me though, and I think are my favorites.

P.S. "The Red Hurricane" is what I named the car. P.P.S. Just because I like you, it doesn't mean I don't still think you're an evil creature of the night. You are.

I also have a huge soft spot for "Are you saying my sister looks like a prostitute?" in Golden Lily, because as much as it skeeves me out that the Palm Springs crew interdate so much when they're pretending to be siblings and as much as I feel for Braeden and kind of hate how the others reacted to him, I love the hetaerae runner in those chapters.

18. What character would you want a spin off of?

Well, Sydney's already taken care of, so...

I guess I'd really like one, post Angeline's graduation (since she was so excited about getting her education), where she and Trey team up with some dhampir allies (her brother Joshua, maybe one of the Baia Unpromised from Blood Promise, etc.), team up to start hunting Strigoi, like they did in Fiery Heart. Hopefully a Moroi or two would be involved (MIA please) and maybe even a witch friend Sydney recommends for the job. Zoe (who I was always sad didn't get close at all to Jill or Angeline) could coordinate with them to provide info.

Inevitably, in the second or third of six books 😉, Rose and Lissa would send them a spirit user (say, one of the former Tsarov prisoners who's finally gotten help) to try and help with more restorations, and Richelle could broaden the lore on that- how many Strigoi restorations can any one spirit user accomplish, and what are the downturn periods. And as Lissa pointed out when they were first discussing spirit use and healing, not even restorations, would Lissa and Rose be asking them to restore royal Moroi for political machinations, would it be a first-find, first-serve basis? Inevitably somebody joins who, like Mikhail or Rose, is really looking for one specific Strigoi (though maybe in their case it's revenge??). I just think there's a lot of potential in there. And Angeline (and Trey, if we could have dual narrators) is such a great vantage point for all of it.

20. If you could crossover VA with any other fandom, which would it be and why?

You're kind of my favorite person right now. Soon after they announced the VA show (and since I had just marathoned the Netflix Defenders-verse shows and awakened a sleeping attraction to Ben B, who was the most popular Dimitri fancast for so long), I decided to watch Shadow and Bone and consider what it might mean for the VA adaptation. And since maybe 15 minutes into that first episode (if that late), I have been imagining a VA-verse/ Grisha-verse crossover. The majority of the reason I actually read the books (or at least, the main trilogy and Crows duology) after was because I wanted to know if I could make that crossover work.

Between the heavy Russian/Eastern-Europe influences in their mythologies, and the power sets... I definitely think it could work. I was thinking all of the characters from both verses, in the Ravka setting, using the combined timeline from the SaB show. Knowing my record, I'm not likely to ever actually write it, but a screenshot of my planning doc is below. I would just really want to see Rose hanging out with Inej, Mia and Zoya being besties, Dimitri mentoring Mal, Lissa and Alina really understanding each other's burdens, Sydney and Wylan bonding over their love of scientific experimentation and unfortunately their shit dads, Sydney and Nina being like "yes we are badass polyglots who speak a half dozen languages" together, putting Adrian and Nikolai in a room together (they are so similar trope-wise, but different)... I just think there's so much potential in those characters getting to meet and bond. Shadowclub.

[bisluthq]

Could you explain to me why Dress has gay connotations? I just don’t see it, and it’s been years now.

Yes I can, because that was the song that lead me down this path of sin and insanity. The year was 2017. With more marbles and brain cells and far less COVID, I sat down to listen to the album Reputation. Perhaps I poured a glass of wine first. I don’t recall. I was but a more or less normal, very casual fan who had for many years enjoyed mocking Taylor for her messy ass personal life, supposed hyperconfessionalism and regular PR kerfuffles. One of my best friends and then roommate used to, as I’ve told y’all before, blast Blank Space as a chaos anthem every time we went out. Fundamentally, though I was too cool for Taylor Swift. I was listening for like... general pop culture knowledge because my brain is a treasure trove of entertainment tidbits and gossip. I got through almost the whole album and then I heard the song Dress and I said, “what the fuck did I just listen to?” And I replayed it and I went, “Damn Blank Space. That was gay.”

And that was the fateful day I came to believe in 2+ muses, Gaylor and, I guess, Kaylor as well because my (albeit surface level but even if I’d dug) Googling brought me mostly to supermodel Karlie Kloss’s door.

So why is this song so gay? I’m not even gonna give y’all the Kaylor reading today we’re literally gonna time capsule to 2017 before I knew any of this shit and when the only thing I knew was THIS SONG WAS GAY.

Our secret moments

In a crowded room

They got no idea

About me and you

Okay so they’re out and about. What secret moments? Like looks and stuff? I mean bold of her to assume nobody knows it’s pretty easy to convince people hets are fucking especially if they’re giving each other meaningful looks and shit. Idk like people whisper and gossip about hets just looking at one another all the time. This seems like she’s a bit overconfident in their sneakiness.

There is an indentation

In the shape of you

Made your mark on me

A golden tattoo

Right so whatever is happening between the speaker and the subject of the song has had an impact on her. This isn’t a thirst anthem. Like the secret moments aren’t because they’re just... looking at one another respectfully and kinda doing that “your place or mine” telepathic conversation. No, Tay’s body has a mark, an indentation from the shape of her lover’s body and the whole thing is a golden tattoo - temporary and removable, presumably, shiny and glittery, but visible to the naked eye. So shit’s already gone down. Friends with benefits maybe?

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah)

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this (ha, ha, ha, ha)

Nah, not simply friends with benefits. This is forbidden, right? Taylor can’t touch her lover. All they have are these secret stolen looks in the crowded room that absolutely nobody can tell mean anything. That... sounds like “gal pals” to lil gay me. Like she can’t touch her lover because it’ll be too obvious but as long as they don’t touch it won’t seem sexual at all. It’s not just that they’re friends and nobody knows there’s more going on, because why can’t they be friendly then? Why are they sharing secret moments but they can’t come close to the point where her hands are literally shaking from staying away? Why can’t she do that good old link arms with her good guy friend especially if they’re out and tipsy? And then it ends off with orgasm noises because... it’s this song so of course it does.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off (ha, ha, ha)

More nails in the coffin of “friends with benefits” and people just don’t know. This person saying her name makes her world stop. This ties into the forbidden vibe but it’s also so innocuous that it does fuck with the “we’re just friends with benefits but I want more” interpretation that a hetsplanation would require. Like this is clearly a lot more. It’s already a lot more. It’s not that she just wants more, this girlie is gone.

And then we get to my gayest line: “I don’t want you like a best friend.” Now I get saying you don’t want to be “just friends” with a guy. I also do get being best friends with a guy. One of my irl besties is Blank Space Chaos Anthem girlie and the other is a (mostly) straight dude. I also have other straight dude friends like my mate who I was trying to rescue from accidentally having to marry a converting girl a few years back. I’m like a (woke) straight dude whisperer tbh because being friends with me is a big win for their woke credibility and let’s be real I’m 1) irreverent and great fun and 2) give great advice on girls.

Now I can guarantee you my proposition to fucking any of my dude friends from besties to casuals would not be “I don’t want you like a best friend.” They’d be like, “my bitch wut? Are you with Pothead YouTube Ex again? Tell her BE GONE WITCH!” And sure, maybe that’s just me. But if was already fucking a dude I can guarantee you the words “I don’t want you like a best friend” would not exit my mouth. It’s not “I don’t want to be friends” or “I don’t only want to be friends” she says “I don’t want you like a best friend.” The implication is there’s an appropriate way to “want” a friend and the way she wants the person she’s speaking to is not like that. It’s a similie, she’s comparing the subject of the song to a best friend and saying this is not like that. Now, explain to me why that level of clarification is important in a fwb setup? You’re trying to make it more serious, I get it. You don’t want to be “just” friends with benefits (and we know they’re already fucking) I get that too. But why the similie?

Why would a dude you’re fucking ever misunderstand and think you want him like a best friend?

Carve your name into my bedpost

Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it off (ha, ha, ha)

I mean again, if we needed clarity on why this is a sex anthem it’s the first line of this song. And she’s saying “have sex with me because I don’t want you like a best friend” again, they’ve already fucked that was established in the first verse. Why would this be stuff you clarify with a dude? Why would a man who is fucking you get the wrong impression and assume you want to be best friends? Not friends. Best friends. Why would he think that?

And then we get the dress line. Now, I know some people are like “I dress up for my boyfriend!” and sure. But let’s all be honest. 85%+ of the time girls of any sexual orientation wear outfits out - and we established this is an out type situation - it’s for other girls to notice their fashion. Come on, you’re not expecting your dude friend to be like, “nice dress, where’d you buy it?” “Oh, this? Hahaha it’s just Zara, they were having a sale. If you hurry you might get one too!” Like there’s something inherently sapphic/feminine about discussions of buying clothing. And come on, fellow queer ladies, clothes is a great way to get a chat going.

In this song, Taylor draws attention to this feminine article of clothing she bought to wear on the night in question and instead of saying “it’s Zara” she goes “I only bought it so you could take it off” - I’m doing an eyebrow wiggle but you can’t see because I’m just text on your screen. Why would you say that to a guy? Like if you did, if you’re that girl why are you holding back from him? Y’all are fucking and you have a massive thing for him. Surely he should know by now? Why is this dress even featuring in the conversation? Like I say bringing up a dress you bought in a conversation about sex feels pretty fucking gay. It’s either a really bizarre and kinda desperate flex which doesn’t really match the sexiness of the song or... it’s gay.

Inescapable

I'm not even going to try

Girl you’ve fucked why is there a point of trying at this stage? Unless you... can’t do this or it feels in some way wrong?

And if I get burned, at least we were electrified

Why the I/we split? Like why is only one of them burned if they were electrified? Sure maybe it’s a fwb thing and he can turn her down for more than sex and friendship but it sounds more like - given the best friends - this is her female friend and she’s maybe uncertain of the other woman’s feelings. This feels - and again we’re not doing a Tay’s personal life reading here - like one of them can be fully destroyed by this but despite that reality they are both lit up and hurt in the process.

I'm spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

I mean this isn’t inherently gay it’s just sexy, get it Tay. This sounds hot.

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation

What do they know about you? Like again we’re not doing the Tay reading thing but like what’s the sekrit? She’s fucking her friend? Why don’t they know anything about this? Surely they can imagine it’s a possibility? Like however unlikely, why does nobody know anything about this?

The next chorus is the same as the one above and I still have no hetsplanation for it. Like especially in the broader context of this, again, very gay song.

Then we get a very straight bridge. It’s like it’s from a different song or was written much later:

Flashback when you met me

Your buzz cut and my hair bleached

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

Flashback to my mistakes

My rebounds, my earthquakes

Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My hands shake, I can't explain this

Aha, ha, ha, ha

Okay but this is a completely different vibe to the... entire song. The rest of the song was about the other person not being sure and that being the issue. “I don’t want you like a best friend.” So why: “I woke up just in time”? Like “if I get burned at least we were electrified” but then... “I woke up just in time” - is the rest of the song like a weird nightmare? That’s not, to me, enough of an explanation. She spends the whole song in sexy anxiety pining after someone who cares about where and why she bought her dress and then she’s like “you’re everything to me” - it doesn’t make sense.

The rest of the song is the chorus again. As I’ve said, I don’t see a hetsplanation for it.

This is a gay song. The bridge isn’t and the line about the bathtub isn’t inherently. But the rest of this song is gay af.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Majority of people friendzone VMIN, even though they're clearly sweeter/softer compared to other ships. But do you think, JM and V likes it that way? I mean, bec people friendzone them, they can somehow freely do anything with lesser suspicions. They can getaway with handholding or any other actions that can seem "too romantic" for some. What do you think?

This is a really interesting question and we’ll admit we’ve thought and talked about it a couple of times before. And we agree. Especially if you take Friends into consideration which, on a marketing and PR level, was a genius move on both Jimin’s (and Tae’s) but also BHs part. By giving the song such a name, it validated certain people’s opinion that “they are just friends”, highlighting the age old agenda of downplaying vmin interactions, as a large portion of the fandom do, so that now, like you said, they can hold hands or do other cute things together and they don’t have to worry about anyone suspecting anything, besides maybe vminnies but in comparison there are far fewer of us. We’ve seen countless instances where the comment section under a cute/soft vmin picture or video were filled with “awww they are such cute friends” and “aww they remind me of me and my sister” type replies, while if you look at similar pictures/videos of any other two members, the comments are filled to the brim with “awww boyfriends” or “x and x are so married, look how cute they are”.

The thing is that, in a way, Friends and the “vmin are just besties” agenda have fulfilled several different purposes, besides being a song that celebrates their bond (being the primary point of it all). What we mean is more about how by “confirming” vmin as “just” friends, it gave certain people a sense of security, as in that vmin are no longer a “threat” to their fantasies, but also a feeling of security that “if they are just friends than that means they are not gay and I can continue liking them and B/TS” (yes, I’ve seen such comments and they left me feelings very yikes as well). And those are just a few examples.

Let’s look at the way Friends was performed at BangBangCon. Jimin and Tae wore their former school uniforms, had dumpling props, and the stage was designed to mimic the bus stops for their school but also where BH used to be. Through this they’ve essentially created this vision and idea in people’s minds that “aw they are such cute school friends” (you can find comments like that on all possible sns platforms under any and all vmin content that reaches past just vminnies). They knew many won’t go read the lyrics and thus won’t know how meaningful and deep they are, most just heard a happy, upbeat song along with seeing that stage performance, and voila the “vmin friends” agenda is thriving.

But, in the grand scheme of things, even if some of this might sound a little harsh or stupid (which it is), it makes sense if you remember how private Jimin is about his private life (here’s a great review of Friends that goes into detail about Jimin in this context), how he rarely shares anything truly personal with us, and he himself once said that he doesn’t like sharing his favorite things and people (Winter Bear or “Go play with your hwarang hyungs”). Tae might seem a bit more open when it comes to gushing about Jimin, and yet even he still chooses his words very wisely, carefully, and says just enough for us to understand what he means yet without giving away any too specific details. So, by creating Friends and playing into that idea that some in the fandom already had/have, they’ve created this kind of shield for themselves behind which they can hide and feel safe, at least to a certain degree. They can do and say a lot of things, and yet no one really pay attention to it, like Tae asking Jimin to come sleep next to him, which has a variety of implications, very meaningful ones at that. And yet most have already forgotten that, or not even noticed that being said to begin with. 

Remember that song Tae shared with us on twitter? About the umbrella? How he wants to protect his love with an umbrella? Which is also a motif that shows up on the cover of Snow Flower as well? Friends and the “vmin are just besties” agenda are like that umbrella. 

Also, I (Admin 2) don’t know if you’ve noticed this but occasionally/often times when Jimin initiates some form of physical contact with Tae, he tends to look as though beyond the camera like he’s trying to see if it’s okay or if he isn’t going too far, you know what I mean? Or that time at MOTS ON:E at the end of EGO where Jimin was playing around with Tae yet straightened up and pretended like nothing happened the second he realized they were on camera. Or during the Break the Silence: Persona movie commentary when Jimin was laughing and threw himself toward Tae’s lap, he turned his head toward the staff and cameras, thus remembered they are not alone, and quickly moved back to his spot on the sofa. That makes me wonder if there aren’t also people at BH who control/oversee this aspect of things as well when it comes to vmin, while not necessarily doing the same things with other members. If maybe the whole idea behind it is to keep the main ships going while “hiding” (and by that I don’t mean that ridiculous theory of hiding one gay ship with another because we all know that’s stupid) the one that is/has potentially to actually be real as to not ruin it or pull it onto a level of potentially coming across as just fan service or boys being silly with each other as well.

To sum all of this up, we agree and we think that Tae and Jimin are surely in favor of being friend zoned by most since it means no one (or at least fewer people than with others in a similar context) is trying to push themselves into their bond, to pry at their privacy and do with them what they do with others, as in create some kind of warped version that has nothing to do with the truth or reality. Besides, even if vmin are real, it doesn’t change the fact that they are best friends/chingu as well. So really, it isn’t the kind of drag or downgrade people might think it is since really, the strongest romantic bonds are built on deep friendship, and it seems like Tae and Jimin have built themselves a very strong foundation, one that the notion of friend zoning them will never be able to shake or break. After all 95z is love.

Thank you for the great question!

[stutterfly]

Swipe Right 01 | Context Switch | JJK (M)

Rating: M (Explicit 18+)

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, brot7 x friendship

Genre: E2L, fluff, angst [later on], humor, [eventual] smut, PersonalTrainer!Jungkook, fuckboy!Jungkook, Nerd!Jungkook, Nerd/IT!Reader

Word Count: 12.8K

Fic Summary: Jungkook wasn’t always like this. Or maybe he was and you don’t want to admit that he had you fooled. You quickly discover he has a lot more to offer than exchanging pleasantries and awkward small talk. In fact, he never seems to shut up.

For the better part of a year, he’s held your irritation hostage, never passing up an opportunity to deliver savage one-liners at your expense. When he discovers you’re on Tinder, he turns up the brattiness factor and intentionally seeks you out. Who knows? Maybe if you gave him a chance he could charm the pants right off of you. Then again, maybe he’s just a fuckboy.

Tags: Fuckboy Jungkook, like cannot stress enough Fuckboy Jungkook but gets soft later, dirty jokes, talk nerdy to me, PUNS, friendship feels, sexual tension, Jin being bad at copying Mario’s accent, Namjoon being bad at accents

CW:  panic attacks, filthy language, this whole chapter is setup so like nothing too bad i dont think???

Series: Activate your SIMCard Fic: Swipe Right (1/?- Ongoing) Do not repost. masterlist // next chapter

(A/N: This is part of my “Activate Your SIMcard” series. Each member of BTS has their own AU in which IT/TechSupport/NerdReader gets dating help/advice and ends up falling in love with them instead. As with a dating sim, the same characters are utilized--same professions, similar scenario placement-- but different interactions/pathways lead to different romances. ~Anyway here’s the Jungkook route.~ The Namjoon route, “Love Bytes” is currently in the works.)

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Nerves wrack your stomach as you make your way down the hall, clinging to the man beside you. His strides seem gigantic next to yours and you find yourself struggling to keep up with him. “Stop walking so fast, Namjoon.”

The man laughs, but slows his pace just enough to allow you to walk side-by-side. “Sorry. I’m just excited for you to meet them.”

Digging your fingernails into the flesh of his elbow, you swallow hard. It’s been a couple months since the young English professor stumbled into your life holding the pieces of some very expensive, very shattered college property. State of the art technology, brand new, busted in less than a week of his arrival. He’d get the biggest chew-out of his life if he presented it to your boss, and you were too sympathetic to let that happen.

While you’d willingly paid for the whole thing out of pocket to cover for the newbie, it had definitely put a strain on your finances and what little social life you had. Within a week he’d worked up a repayment plan than spanned the course of a year. He even started buying you a coffee every Friday as an apology for how long it was going to take.

After a few months of bonding over kung-fu movies, life before Namjoon’s friendship seemed like a distant past, a hazy dream. It was natural that your new bestie wanted to grow your pitiful social circle. But there was a reason you didn’t let people get close to you. The fact that Namjoon had slipped past your defenses so fast made him an anomaly worth dissecting for scientific discovery.

Just the thought of having to now socialize with people you don’t know has your temperature boiling and your head spinning.

He attempts to tug his elbow away from you, and you stumble forward, keeping your death grip on him. “I know, but talking to people isn’t exactly my strong suit. Are you sure it’s best I meet all six at once?”

“You’ve already met Jimin,” he begins, clawing at your hand with long, veiny fingers until you release your hold on him, “but he’s not coming tonight, so don’t worry... you can relax a little.”

Your face twists into a sour grimace as you try to sputter out a response. “I-Pfft. I mean. Jimin’s a model. His face is on billboards and shit. Like… how is that supposed to not be intimidating?”

“Jimin is the world’s biggest sweetheart,” he laughs, shoving his hands into his pockets as you continue down the hallway. “You don’t have anything to be afraid of. I have a feeling you two will get along fine once you stop being so shy.”

You huff and tick your jaw a few times before wringing your hands together. Maybe.

“Anyway. Taehyung is out of town on business, but you can meet him another time. He’s kind of quiet when meeting new people too. Hoseok and Yoongi texted they might be a little late. It’ll just be Jin and Jungkook you’re meeting now. And it’ll be just the four of us for a bit.”

A deep breath escapes you as you hook your elbow with his. “Okay. I just… I’m nervous.”

He stops at the door at the end of the hall and looks down at you. “Give them a chance. If you’re still feeling bad in an hour, then we’ll leave, and I’ll hang out with y’all separately from now on. Deal?”

You eye his extended palm peeking out from beneath the crook of your twined elbows before a smile creeps across your face. You shake his hand. He always knows what to say. “Deal.”

As Namjoon knocks, you leave the comfort of his side, realizing how your anxious clinging might be mistaken for a romantic gesture. You begin to shrink back, trying to hide in his shadow before the door opens. You’re about halfway there when a young, well-built man appears, prominent leg muscles bulging from beneath his basketball shorts as he props the door open with his foot. There’s a cup of instant noodles in his hands, and you’re pretty sure at least half of its contents are dangling from his mouth.

The scent of garlic and rosemary drifts into your nostrils, and you freeze as you cower behind Namjoon, realizing how long it’s been since you last had a decent home-cooked meal. You were promised free food so maybe it won't be so bad after all.

“Ah, Namjoon,” he greets and gestures with his head towards the domicile. “Come in--Oh!”

He chokes a chunk of noodles back into the paper cup as he notices your figure standing behind the tall man.

“Jungkook, this is Y/N,” Namjoon says, stepping to the side and pushing you out into the light of the apartment “I told you she was coming tonight, remember?”

Jungkook’s dark brown eyes widen and he pumps a fist into his chest a few times as he tries to get the remnants of spicy noodles dislodged from the back of his throat. Namjoon sent a bunch of texts this week making sure it was cool to bring someone to hangout night since he’d made a friend at work and wanted everyone to meet them. The way the texts were worded definitely didn’t give any indication that the friend he was bringing tonight was a woman. Maybe they did. Maybe he should have read more of them.

The muscular man before you holds the remaining food in his cheeks and waves bashfully with two fingers as he swallows. "Jungkook," he mumbles, as if the name itself is introduction enough and all but sprints from the room.

Seconds later, a new voice shrieks out from the other room. “What are you doing eating that?! Dinner will be ready soon! Jungkookie if you don’t put that down--!”

A dull smacking sound accompanies the clattering of silverware and plates. You swallow hard, trying to think about anything other than the way the young man had rushed out of the room at just the sight of you. Maybe you’re just that ugly.

“Hey! I’ll eat! I’ll eat! I promise!” Jungkook cries out. His voice drops an octave. “Namjoon is here.” Their conversation becomes indiscernible, but you can’t shake the feeling that you are definitely the subject of their quiet discussion.

You throw a worried glance in Namjoon's direction. "Did I do something wrong?" your voice is hushed as you work your sneakers off, trying to hold in the crazy amount of anxiety that threatens to unscrew the top of your head and send your brain exploding into the ceiling.

Namjoon shakes his head, unbothered by his friend’s odd behavior. "Honestly, I texted him a bunch this week to make sure it was cool and I got one-word replies so I'm wondering if he even read them." He bites his lip and spares a glance back at you, knowing he probably should have kept that to himself.

"Oh," your heart sinks into your stomach and threatens to fall out your butt as you straighten your spine. "If that's the case, should I... leave?"

"Leaf?!" A bright green piece of lettuce is thrust into your face. "How about a whole salad? You can't go before you try it! It's unbe-leaf-able."

You blink in rapid succession, trying to stifle a laugh at the cackle emanating from the man whose bony fingers are holding the lettuce. It sounds like a... windshield wiper? A giggle slips out, stronger than your will to keep it tucked behind your lips, and it only seems to make the grin on his face stretch impossibly wider. Heavy shoulders rise and fall with his laughter, causing the bright pink apron across his chest to wrinkle.

Namjoon groans. "This is--"

"Now do you smell that delicious flavor in the air? Because this just a taste of what you will find at my amazing restaurant 'Heart and Seoul'," he announces, cutting off the man beside you as he clutches the lettuce to his chest with eyes closed. "Where I give you a piece of my heart and soul... Some refer to me as Worldwide Handsome, others call me the God of Cookery. Some call me an angel and believe I fell from heaven." He bows with a flourish and takes your hand in his. "But you can call me..." He finally looks at you, a dark smoulder in his features that sets your cheeks on fire. "Later?"

He seals your fate with a gentle kiss to the back of your hand. Your jaw, which has been hanging open for some time, finally decides to snap itself shut.

"This is Seokjin, and he's going back into the kitchen to finish making dinner." Namjoon is already ushering his friend back towards the kitchen and chiding him as you purse your lips together to hide the smile spreading across your face. Did you just stumble into some alternate universe where all of the men you meet are ridiculously good-looking?

"It's nice to meet you, Seokjin," you call after them before letting your eyes wander around the room.

Paintings line the walls and photos sit on the bookshelf in the corner. As you approach the shelf to get a closer look, you realize those aren't books, but video games. There must be hundreds. Don't people use cloud storage for most of their games now? Your eyes curiously scan the photos on the top shelf. The man who had introduced himself as Jungkook is in all of them. There's another man in a couple that you don't recognize, but his gaze is piercing and cold when he's not smiling. You're able to pick Jimin and Namjoon out in a few, but it feels like looking at a family photo. Everyone seems so close; it makes you envious.

You lick your lips and can't help but admire the collection of video games underneath. You crouch to get a better look at the ones lining the bottom shelf. You're surprised to see there are games for all types of consoles: PS4, XboxOne, Switch, WiiU, Nintendo DS, SuperNintendo, PlaystationVita, PC... The list keeps going. Jealousy spikes your gut as you note a Mass Effect "SSV Normandy" ship figurine on the shelf above your head. You eye it with wonder and pride as your memories flood with the hours you spent playing the trilogy. Your fingers reach out to brush against the raised letters on the side of the ship.

"Have you played Mass Effect?" a quiet voice asks from behind you.

You jump in place and spin on the balls of your feet in a fluid motion that nearly sends you careening into the basketball shorts in front of you. Surprised by how close Jungkook is standing, you gasp and stumble back into the bookshelf, causing it to wobble and bring some of the frames filled with photos tumbling down onto your head. You wait for the impact but it never comes.

As you look up, Jungkook has several frames balanced on his arms and between his fingers, carefully maneuvering them away from you and back onto the shelf. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! Namjoon told me you liked video games too and I saw you looking at the Normandy and I thought maybe you've played it. Ah, I'm sorry."

It's hard to miss the crestfallen way he rubs the back of his neck and stares at the floor once he places all the photos back on the shelf. You're still in shock that he caught everything before it smacked you in the head, but you force yourself to respond anyway. "No, it's okay. I'm just a jumpy person. It's my fault. I'm just glad I didn't break anything. I'm... asari? Get it? 'Cause like, I'm sorry... but also hot blue alien chicks, am I right?"

He smiles wide and laughs softly as he offers to help you up. As you take hold of his hand, you're quickly thrust to your feet with an ease you weren’t quite expecting. You steady yourself by reaching out to grip his arm, a movement you reverse the moment you feel the firm muscles beneath his t-shirt.

"Thanks," you mumble. Feeling his hand tense around yours, you take it back and twiddle your fingers. "So what decisions did you make? Renegade or Paragon? Rachni Queen? Samara's mission? Quarian and Geth dispute? Genophage?" You pause only to take a breath. "If you let Wrex die, we can't be friends."

He blinks at you a few times before breaking into a relaxed smile. “Of course not. What kind of monster do you think I am?”

You allow a relieved sigh to pass your lips. Maybe this wouldn’t be so painful after all.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You must have made a good impression that night. It’s been nearly a month and Namjoon’s friends have started pulling you into their group texts and Saturday night plans. This had been fine by you since you rarely had anything going on. Honestly it was kind of nice to be included.

While you still don’t exactly know everyone, you feel fairly comfortable talking with your new friends. Seokjin is absolutely hilarious. He’s so full of himself that his cockiness rides the line between charming and annoying; it’s hard to decide which aspect overwhelms his personality more. But you know that you find him irrefutably, irritatingly attractive because of it.

Jungkook is still polite and rather gentlemanly towards you. Your conversation about Mass Effect was enough to tide over any residual awkwardness regarding your initial meeting. He’s just a muscular, nerdy introvert who seems genuinely nice. However, Namjoon insists that Jungkook is still hiding a louder, brattier side when you’re around. He’s got this theory that since you’re a friend of a friend, Jungkook is holding back his usual antics for some reason. The harmless little crush you’ve developed on him has you secretly holding out hope that it’s because he wants to ask you to be his girlfriend. You’ve considered asking Jin what he thinks, but that man has no tact and honestly you’re afraid he’d just ask Jungkook with you standing right there.

Hoseok is a ball of smiling energy, one who has been begging you to visit his dance studio. It’s hard to say no, but you’ve managed for this long because of the very real possibility that you won’t be able to do anything but stare at the dazzling way he moves. He seems to take pride in his ability to make others feel good and absolutely beams when he’s the cause of his friends’ happiness. You can easily see yourself talking to him without Namjoon around to act as a buffer, which is amazing for someone with your level of social anxiety.

Yoongi is quiet, but when he speaks his words are sharp with purpose. Some people might mistake that for coldness, but you can tell he has good intentions and a soft heart underneath. His pointed remarks in the group interrogations have poked fun at you, but never in a condescending or cruel manner. And it’s certainly not in the way you see him absolutely roast the others. Maybe he’s taking it easy on you.

Jimin is still so beautiful to look at it devastates you, leaving a flustered, stuttering mess behind every time he leaves. Now that he’s become aware of the effect he has on you, he’s been testing the waters of your friendship with some teasing that borderlines flirtation. But you have a feeling he’s just screwing with you because he finds it funny to see you squirm. You’re hoping to build the confidence to dish it back some day.

Taehyung has been a little standoff-ish, but Namjoon had already warned you about that. You wonder if it’s because he’s a hundred times richer than you’ll ever be. Despite seeming like he’s in a different social class, he still seems deeply fond of his friends, and relatively down-to-earth. He’s a bit quirky, but he’s an artist, so you expect that kind of thing.

Namjoon says that he’s known almost all of them since college, so he’s been able to absorb most of the discomfort associated with meeting new people. He’s sweet, and more relatable than you originally would have thought for an English professor. He’s kind of like a pillar that you never knew your life had been missing. And now that he’s got your back, you can’t go back.

The smell of coffee pervades the air as you skim an article on your phone regarding the latest Halloween skins for Overwatch. You’re supposed to be meeting Namjoon here but Seokjin, and Jimin showed up and have been chatting about their plans for the weekend. Apparently they throw a Halloween party every year and it’s Jimin’s turn to host. Seokjin is supposedly in charge of planning the decorations due to his love for theatrics and has been discussing the possibility of a haunted house walkthrough. You smile at the thought of Seokjin popping out of the shadows to drop fake spiderwebs on people. It sounds like the kind of thing he’d get off to.

Namjoon flops down on the couch next to you. “You’re coming, right?”

You’re broken from your thoughts as you scroll further down the page. “E-Excuse me?”

“The Halloween party. You coming?”

You look up from your phone, feeling everyone’s eyes on you. “I mean… I don’t want to intrude on your group thing.”

“You’re not intruding!” Jimin, Jin, and Namjoon’s voices all stack upon each other and you’re taken aback by the sound.

Jin frantically scrambles to make you feel included. “Y/N, we just assumed you were coming. Of course you’re invited! You can help me get everything set up for the scary walkthrough. Please come.”

“Don’t give her work to do that you should have already figured out,” Jimin hisses before sending a warm smile your way. “I’ll text you the address later. It’s a costume party so make sure to dress up!”

Your bottom lip unconsciously protrudes in a pout as you pass a discouraging look Namjoon’s way. “What are you going as?”

He gives you a heartfelt, dimpled smile. “Sherlock Holmes,” he says with the worst british accent you’ve ever heard in your life. “World’s greatest detective.” He drops his accent and starts gushing. “The tweed suit is fairly iconic and most people will recognize the costume so I think it’s a safe option. Originally, I was going to go as Judge Di but Jimin kept telling me no one would get it. It would take some research to really get a feel for how he’d dress, but I’d be willing to put in the work.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “Judge Dee? Like…. Judge... Ju...dy?” you trail off in confusion, immediately regretting your decision to ask.

Jimin throws his hands up as if this is the proof he’s needed to convince his friend that he’s wrong. “You see? I told you no one knows who that is.”

“Judge---! Really?!” Namjoon looks like he’s about to go off, but he shakes his head and sighs. “You know what? It’s okay. I look really good in a tweed suit. That’s all that matters.” He finished his statement by gesturing towards his chest.

You can’t help but laugh. “You’re such a dork.” You turn your attention to the others and raise your eyebrows at them. “What about you two?”

Jimin drags his teeth over his lip and shyly smiles. “I’m going as Iron Man. Tae’s been helping me build my costume for a while now.”

“Jungkookie and I are going as Luigi and Mario,” Jin proudly states he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees while tenting his fingers. “I’m Mario, of course, since everyone knows he’s the best.”

You roll your eyes. “Sounds like you, Seokjin.”

“What will you come as?” he questions with a smirk, cocking a mischievous eyebrow at you.

“Well...” you hesitate, knowing that most costume shops will be sold out of anything interesting or slutty; at this point your options are limited unless you want to be a Crayola shit brown crayon. “I’m not sure yet,” you mumble, scratching your cheek sheepishly. “I only found out just now so I don’t have anything ready. I usually go over Jennie’s place, hand out candy in my pajamas and watch scary movies, so I don’t know if I should bail on her like that.”

Solid excuse. Great job, brain. Really. Can I sound like more of a loser?

“She can come too,” Jimin offers with a thoughtful tilt of his head and a warm smile. “It’s a very open party. Lots of people will be coming and going, so it’s no trouble if you want to invite more of your other friends, if that makes you comfortable.”

Other friends. Like you have more than this group and Jennie. You’re going to just pretend like you didn’t hear that part. You can already hear her shrieking at you to say you’ll be there. She loves dressing up and would be more than happy to exchange a night of handing out candy for a night of partying. You suppose you can always get some vampire teeth and dab some fake blood on your mouth, but it feels like a cop-out. It’s a solid back-up plan at the very least.

“Okay. I’ll think about it,” you murmur with a fleeting look of panic directed at Namjoon.

He offers a sympathetic smile and pats your shoulder. “It’s okay if you don’t come. I’m just saying there will be free food.”

Your spine straightens and you perk up.

“Free food?” The words on you’re about to utter spill from a different source. A chin drops into the space between Namjoon’s shoulder and yours. Jungkook’s hair is still wet, but thankfully it’s not long enough to brush against your skin. The soft, sweet, almost floral scent of his body wash wafts into your nose as you turn your head to look at him. You surmise he’s come directly from work if he’s showering in the late afternoon. You internally swat the butterflies playing with your ribcage, trying to remember how to act normal.

Jungkook smiles sweetly, his eyes nearly closing with how high his cheekbones have risen. “Where is this food?”

“At the Halloween party,” Namjoon comments with a dismissing wave of his hand. “I was just telling Y/N that she’ll miss out if she doesn’t come.”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows and drops his smile as his surprised stare pierces your periphery. “Oh, you’re not coming?”

“I was thinking about it.” You immediately feel the need to defend yourself. “I don’t have anything to wear.”

“So don’t wear--” Jungkook catches himself before the word anything comes out. “A costume,” he finishes simply, straightening his spine and clearing his throat. “I mean we can make an exception. No one’s gonna kick you out.”

A devilish grin spreads across Seokjin’s features. “I’m sure I can help you find a pink dress and crown if you’d like to be our lovely Princess Peach. We can give each other items.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen at his friend and Jin stares back with anticipation, waiting for him to make the mushroom joke he clearly set him up for. Jungkook purses his lips and quietly regards you. As the moment passes, Jin’s brow furrows and he crosses his arms in a huff, wishing that he’d said it instead. It’s been too long since you’ve blushed for his liking.

“Maybe I’ll show up in a leotard, spiked collar, and fishnets as Bowsette instead.” You nearly snort at your own joke.

Jungkook and Jin spill their surprise over one another.

“Whaa? Really?” Jin’s mouth hangs open, the image already permanently searing its way into his brain.

“You what?” Jungkook clamps his hands over the edge of the couch, hulking figure looming over you.

While Jimin and Namjoon are both oblivious what a Bowsette is, the words “spiked collar and fishnets” have certainly grabbed their attention as well.

You blink a few times, realizing how serious everyone has become as you sputter out a nervous laugh. “Kidding, guys. Kidding.”

Jin tuts in disappointment, slinking back into his chair. Jimin simply smiles. Namjoon breathes a relieved sigh. Jungkook starts walking away, distracted by the signage on the counter promoting a cinnamon chocolate chip milkshake.

“Besides, I’m more of a…” A lightbulb flicks on in your head and the thought comes spilling out your mouth before you can process it. “Oh, I have a cosplay from the gaming convention I went to a year ago. Maybe I can wear that.”

All three men lean forward, suddenly very interested in the concept of you using a cosplay as a Halloween costume. Jungkook’s head snaps in your direction just as he extends his hand to give his money to the cashier, but he drops it prematurely, sending coins scattering across the counter.

The sound causes all of you to look over at him and he quickly turns back to the cashier. She raises her eyebrows at him as he scrambles to recover all of the money for her. His ears turn bright red from the attention and you can’t help but put yourself in his shoes, cringing at the embarrassment coursing through your veins at the thought of swapping places.

Spinning back to face the others, you find Jin and Jimin on the edge of their seats, staring at you. Namjoon blinks at you and tilts his head expectantly. “You were saying?” he prods. “Something about an anime costume?”

Suddenly you’re embarrassed for yourself rather than Jungkook. “Don’t be weird, Joonie. It’s just a Princess Zelda cosplay.” You scratch your cheek in contemplation, murmuring, “Actually, I don’t even know if it still fits since I’ve gained some weight since then.”

Namjoon pats your shoulder assuringly. “Ah you’re fine. Don’t worry too much about it, ok?”

“He’s right. Just bring your smile, cutie,” Jimin says encouragingly.

You blush at the nickname and grin in response. He said it innocently enough, but you get the feeling that you reacted exactly as he had hoped because he exchanges a smug smirk with Seokjin. “See? Bring that.”

“Ah, you guys are embarrassing me,” you mumble, diving back into the article on your phone. “I’ll talk to Jennie about it later.”

Jungkook listens carefully as he tongues his cheek and waits for his drink to arrive at the counter. Are you really going to show up in that? He pulls out his phone and starts skimming amazon. There’s no way he can pass up the opportunity, regardless of what’s at stake.

A familiar veiny hand sets the drink down on the counter, and he outstretches his palm. “Service was good, yeah?”

Jungkook looks up from the checkout page and locks eyes with Yoongi. He scoops a large portion of whipped cream from beneath the lid and pops it in his mouth thoughtfully, smacking his lips as he washes it down with a sip through his straw. Yoongi raises his eyebrows at him expectantly, but remains silent.

“Hmm, I’ve had better. Maybe if I had some more whipped cream?” Jungkook suggests as he tilts his cup forward and gives it the tiniest shake, shit-eating grin strewn across his features.

Unblinking, Yoongi squirts a puff of cream into the top of the container before loudly setting the can on the counter. Satisfied, Jungkook reaches into his pocket and fishes out some money for a generous tip. “See this is why you’re my favorite barista. You always make it just how I like it.”

Yoongi forces a smile as he stuffs the cash into the half-filled tip jar. “The Java Stop values your patronage, customer.”

He catches a glimpse of Jungkook’s phone screen before the younger man snatches it from the counter and walks away. What the hell is he up to?

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You curse your past self for choosing Zelda’s outfit from Twilight Princess rather than Breath of the Wild; style over comfort rarely is a good choice, but it’s a choice you often repeat without forethought. It’s tighter than you remember, and not just because there’s a corset sewn into the chestpiece. As you sit in the passenger’s seat of Jennie’s Civic, you fidget with the hem of your dress. Without taking her eyes off the road, she reaches over and slaps your hand.

“Stop it. You look great.”

You rub the back of your wrist and pout, knowing it does nothing to change her mind. You eye her tattered dress, wishing you could pull off something so slutty with the same confidence she does. White contacts make her look even more ethereal than she normally does. Natural waves and curls poke out from beneath the bent witch’s hat atop her head and you can’t help but admire her beauty.

“I look like a nerd,” you say, feeling shittier the longer you compare yourself to her. It’s not her fault. You’re just insecure and wish that you could be more like her rather than the you that you are.

“You are a nerd,” she laughs. “What’s wrong with that?”

You smile. “Nothing, I guess. I don’t know why I’m so worried about it. It’s not like I’m gonna be getting laid any time soon. This costume solidifies it.” Negativity is something you’re used to dosing yourself with, but you know it’s an action you need to work at correcting.

“Hey if no one wants to fuck you in a Zelda costume, do they even deserve to fuck you?” Jennie asks, wagging her pointer at the ceiling as if scolding some invisible source above. “I don’t fucking think so.” She tuts for a second. “So speaking of… Which ones are off limits?”

You scoff and stiffen in your seat, trying to play dumb. “What? What’s off limits?”

“Y/N,” she starts in an accusatory tone. “I’m sure there will be lots of hot people there, but I’m talking about seven hot people in particular. Now if they came up to me and said ‘hey Jennie you so fine you wanna suck all seven of our dicks?’ I’d be like hell yeah I’ma suck all seven dicks. Get in a circle and let me at ‘em.”

You smack your hand to your forehead, wishing you could purge that image from your brain.

“Now I’m just saying in this hypothetical situation that I would never turn down going down on any of them if they asked. Unless I remembered that one time you told me you were crushing, maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t suck that particular dick.”

“We’re about to go see these people. I don’t want to be thinking about this while sipping my drinks across from Seokjin. That man can smell fear, shame, and insecurity,” you mumble, looking out the window at the trees lining the side of the road.

“So that’s why we get it out now before we get there. Can’t possibly slip out if you’ve already got it out of your system,” she explains with a confident smirk.

You cross your arms and give yourself a moment to truly think about the seven men. You certainly find all of them attractive, but crossing that line might make things weird. But maybe, hypothetically… “I don’t know… They’re all pretty hot in their own way…”

“You’ve got to be attracted to one more than the others,” she prods. “Come on, Y/N. Which one does it for you?”

Your tongue clicks against the roof of your mouth before you sigh. “I guess…” You subconsciously lick your lips and give it a few seconds before the memory of falling picture frames surfaces in your mind. An embarrassed smile flickers across your face as you give your quiet, honest answer. “J-Jeon… Jungkook.”

“The young one!” Her mouth falls open. She drums her fingers against the steering wheel excitedly and spares a delightful, yet surprised look at you for a fraction of a second before her eyes return to the road. “Really? I never would have guessed. But I haven’t talked to him much honestly. Doesn’t he work at that nerdy-looking gym you almost joined? What was it, Iron Kingdom? You could always sign up for personal training. Ya know, get some one-on-one time with those muscles...”

“He’ll think I’m dumb for not knowing how to do anything,” you mumble. “Besides that’s not why.”

You shake your head and pause to start counting the list on your fingers. “Okay so he’s got muscles, a cute laugh, he likes video games, he literally always smells so fucking good, he has a great smile, he’s nice, and like he’s so mature for his age. I’m so surprised.”

“I mean from the few times I’ve seen him, I thought for sure he’d be a tool and a major shithead,” she admits.

“I know, but seriously don’t judge a book by its cover. He’s been so chill and respectful and has made me feel so welcome over the last few weeks. None of that fuckboy shit you’d expect to get with younger guys like, he doesn’t talk over me, no mansplaining, he looks me in the eyes and not at my tits, and listens when I say something, even if it’s just me talking about my day.” You pause, registering the words you just said. “Wow, the bar is really low, isn’t it?”

“Sad, but true.” She nods, glancing at the GPS on the dashboard. It’s says you’re nearly there, but it’s kind of further out from the city than you’d both been expecting.

She laughs, mulling over everything you’ve said. “He seems kinda shy. You probably need to make the first move. Maybe you should tell him you have a big fat crush on him. Tell him you wanna hold his hand. Do you think he’d blush? I bet he would. I bet he has a cute flustered face. You should totally do it.”

Recalling the way his ears turned red at the cafe causes you to purse your lips, but the action can’t hide the smile curling at the corners of your mouth. So you have a little crush on Jungkook. Who wouldn’t? He’s practically flawless and totally swoon-worthy. Your heart races as you imagine his reaction to your outfit. Would he be taken aback by how good you look as one of the hottest, most iconic female characters in gaming history? He’s a huge geek so you know there’s a possibility that he could appreciate it. Sweaty fingers work their way down your wig, carefully smoothing out any loose strands. You hope he does.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Walking into Jimin’s place feels like entering a mansion. He told you that he lives with two other people from the same modeling agency, but you didn’t realize how big the place would be. Seokjin’s ability to gather this many decorations and display them with such attention to ambiance is certainly a feat worthy of praise. You find yourself lost in the orange and yellow lights that border each doorway and drape along the walls. Their soft glow is comforting as you walk down the dim hallway, exploring the house just enough to find the table filled with fruits and snacks.

Jungkook is nowhere to be seen and you find yourself breathing a sigh of relief as you sip punch out of a red plastic cup, filling a plate with an excessive amount of strawberries, peaches, and other sweet fruits. Contrary to your previous belief that admission would mean freedom from the thoughts swirling in your brain, uttering the words out loud has made you paranoid that everyone now knows about your secret crush. You’re hoping that drinking will remove the worry from your brain, so you do your best to down the liquid fast and refill your cup.

Jennie immediately hit it off with one of Jimin’s roommates moments after walking in. You’re envious because holy fuck that guy is tall and jacked, and he’s wearing a Captain America outfit. Jennie is about to make out with Captain America and you’re gulping down spiked punch from a little plastic cup. You appreciate being able to silently agree to split, but know that you have each other’s back if either of you were to suddenly express interest in leaving, even if Captain America is balls deep.

She’s an extrovert. She loves socializing. Tossing a strawberry into your mouth, you eye the table of snacks again. You don’t. You love food. Food or sex would be a tough toss-up for you depending on the menu, and in this situation food definitely wins. There’s a buffet table of appetizers looping around the room and into the kitchen. It doesn’t get much better than this, especially knowing it was catered by Seokjin’s restaurant.

You remove a glove and tuck it beneath your armpit as you stuff your face full of sweet treats and survey the amount of people on the dance-floor. There are a good amount of people here --some with ludicrous costumes-- and it makes you feel better about being able to blend in.

You had arrived fashionably late only because Jennie may have passed the house a few times, thinking this place couldn't possibly be it. A hand skates around the periphery of your vision and you frown as it attempts to surreptitiously claim a peach slice from your plate. Following the hand to its owner, you find a smile quickly claiming your mouth in place of the previous sour grimace.

"There's plenty of peaches left over there," you say, pointing to the table of snacks beside you.

"Mmm," Namjoon hums as he pockets the fruit in his cheek. "But this pile is better. I can deduce that you've already picked out the best pieces, Zelda."

You look him over from head to toe, examining the details of his tweed suit. You hate to admit he's looking dapper as fuck in this outfit. Despite often wearing three-piece suits to work, you rarely have time to stop and really appreciate just how flattering they are on his frame. Your eyes settle on the dark brown silk carefully knotted around his neck. "Don't you get sick of wearing ties?"

His eyes widen and he blinks at you as if you'd just told him that he sat in some gum. "Do you think I should have gone with the bow-tie? I spent hours weighing the pros and cons to both and which would be more quintessential to the whole ensemble. Did I make the wrong choice?"

You open your mouth to respond, meaning to allay his concerns and tell him that he looks fine, but he interrupts rather quickly. "You know what, don't say anything. I brought the bow-tie as a backup. It's upstairs in the guest bedroom. I'll go put it on."

You grab his arm just as he's about to leave, noting the plate full of chicken wings precariously balanced on one hand. "Namjoon. Chill. Your tie looks fine. I was only asking because I would strangle myself if I wore one all the time. Now gimme some of that chicken."

His eyes dart from you to the plate in his hand and his anxiety seems to visibly melt away, replaced with a soft smile. "I'm overthinking again, huh?"

The words have never come easier than they do now. "No shit, Sherlock."

At that he offers a laugh. "How about a trade? I share the wings for access to the princess's treasury of peaches."

"Deal," you agree with a smirk, wiggling your eyebrows up and down. "Wanna people-watch with me?"

He nods enthusiastically as he tosses a handful of fresh fruit directly from your plate into his mouth. "I was gonna wander aimlessly and socialize but this sounds way better."

"Glad we're on the same page," you murmur into the chicken wing at your lips, sucking the sauce off of it and scanning the room for any particular eye-catching costumes.

The flash of red, flowing satin catches your eye. Is someone wearing a bathrobe? Seriously? The taste of hot buffalo sauce causes your lips to tingle as you note the soft, fuzzy edges of the robe. It looks comfy, actually.

You elbow Namjoon in the ribs, directing his attention to the slender, black-haired figure gliding across the room. Namjoon opens his mouth as if to identify the stranger, but the flourish of the robe beats him to it. As the material spins, you catch a glimpse of tan skin peeking out from the chest, long legs exposed as he reaches for the sash at his waist.

The silk billows as it comes undone, cascading to the floor like a river of crimson. There's no mistaking it. You're now staring at the nearly nude, half-painted body of Kim Taehyung. You can't help the way you jaw drops open at the sight of so much skin being flaunted seemingly without a care in the world. Namjoon's hand flies up to cover your eyes, as if he's going to spare you the sight you've already taken in. Now that you've seen Taehyung in a thong, there's no going back.

Sauce-covered fingers pry his away from your eyes just in time to meet the piercing gaze of the man across the room. Is it mirth or anger that graces his features? It's hard to tell with a paintbrush trapped in the box his teeth make. He takes lazy strides across the room as you struggle to keep your eyes off the unforgiving fabric outlining every last curve of his dick. It's not until he's closer that you notice the thin belts crossing his hips, which appear to be holding six tubes of paint, three strapped to each side like gun-holsters. You have to admit they frame his crotch rather nicely.

It takes every ounce of willpower you possess to keep your eyes trained on his face. He carefully takes the paintbrush out from between his teeth and extends it to you. "Draw something pretty on me, Y/N. You too, Joon. Tonight I'm a human canvas on display for the universe."

Your eyebrow quirks as you exchange a look with Namjoon and set your plate down. "You know people are just going to draw a bunch of dicks on you, right?"

He scoffs, waving off your concerns. "Don't be so negative. I will have a beautiful mural by the end of the night. Mark my words."

"I think you're putting too much trust in the goodness of human nature," Namjoon comments, his lips pressing together in an attempt to hide the amused grin that is quickly spreading across his features.

Taehyung cocks his head to the side and leans forward with a lopsided grin. You're afraid he's about to get even closer and whisper some dirty secret into your ear. Instead he asks in a breathy, low tone, "Princess Zelda wouldn't draw such dirty things on me, would she?"

Twirling the thick handle of the paintbrush between your fingers, your eyes dip to the paints secured at his waist. His eyes chase the trail yours make down his side and his delight splits his mouth into a goofy grin. "Oh. Help yourself." He gestures to the colors available with a sweep of his hands just above his hips. "Feel free to use your fingers instead.” He pauses when your mouth falls open slightly. “You know, to paint... Just be careful what you grab, Princess," he jokes.

Removing your other glove with your teeth, you drape them over your shoulder and reach out for the tube of yellow paint, trying to hide the way your hand trembles. He looks down and smiles as the cold paint touches his skin. Before long you have the faint shape of 3 triangles at the center of his chest.

“How fitting,” he murmurs, offering an amused hum as you fill in the last triangle with a glob of yellow that threatens to run down his torso.

“Oops, sorry,” you apologize, moving to tap the brush against the excess, but he grabs your wrist before the bristles can make contact with his skin again.

“That’s alright. Let it do what it does. I like it like this,” he says, watching the clump of paint slowly slide down his midriff. “Besides I’m sure someone else can use it.”

“Like Sherlock!” you suggest, holding the paintbrush out for your companion.

Namjoon takes it begrudgingly and uses the excess yellow to draw a small smiley face beside the triforce symbol.

“Cute,” Taehyung laughs as he takes the paintbrush back from Namjoon. “I love it. Thanks guys.”

Just as he turns to find his next artist, a long object bars his path, pressing against his chest just above the collarbone. You follow the shape of the bar to its owner, revealing a grinning Hoseok clad in an officer’s uniform.

“That’s a bold choice Taehyungie,” he says, securing the faux nightstick into a loop at his waist. “Just make sure you keep that thing on…” He gestures to the small bit of material at Taehyung’s crotch and holds up a pair of handcuffs with his index finger before continuing, “or I’ll have to arrest you for indecent exposure.”

“Impersonating an officer is a crime, you know,” Namjoon says, even as he’s reaching out to touch the shiny metal. “Wait. Where did you get these? Are they real?”

You squint at the device in Namjoon’s hands, looking for the safety release latch like the cheap pair you bought to use with your ex. You don’t see it. That can only mean that these are the kind where losing the keys would have real consequences. But you’re not about to out yourself as the kinky freak you are, so you bring your nearly forgotten drink to your lips and guzzle what’s left in the cup.

As the empty plastic hits the table, your eyes happen to trail across the room and land on a crowd of people gathering around a very impressive, fully-lit Iron Man costume. Jimin seems to be soaking the attention up as the crowd grows ever larger. The massive room has begun to diminish in size, and it’s as though the once comforting lights are now wilting and closing in on you, threatening to strangle the air from your lungs. The adrenalin spiking your veins is telling you it’s time to seek the comfort of open space and solitude. Fast.

You duck beneath Namjoon and Hoseok’s arms, carefully sidestepping around Taehyung to avoid brushing against the wet paint on his skin. “I’m gonna get some air. Try not to get cuffed, Sherlock,” you manage to joke with a smile before turning on your heels and booking it from the room.

If anyone responds to your joke or even acknowledges your exit at all, it’s lost on your ears. Sweat beads on the back of your neck as you hastily attempt to make your way down the hall. If you can just get outside, you can breathe. You’ll be fine. You know it.

Warm bodies clutter the path to your freedom and you can’t help but feel more and more breathless by the never-ending apologies spewing from your mouth as you squeeze past each blockade. You don’t feel like yourself, even as you speak. Taking in sharp, greedy breaths like this isn’t helping. Why is this place so devoid of oxygen? Your body moves on autopilot, seeing the faces of the people you pass, but not feeling their eyes on you.

You float out of the front door, your head as light as a feather, but your eyelids feel like they’ve been anchored. You’re positive you’re about to gracefully glide down the front steps, legs becoming amorphous blobs beneath you that will surely allow you to fly. Just as you’re leaning into the momentum of gravity, two pairs of hands steady your shoulders and criss-cross around your midriff.

“Deep breaths,” Jennie’s voice briefly cuts through the ringing in your ears.

“Do you need to sit down?” The other voice spills into your eardrum as a rushed whisper, one that’s dripping with concern.

Huh? You work on steadying your breathing instead of trying to answer.

“What did she drink?” the familiar voice asks Jennie, the brief flicker of panic quashed by the evenness of his tone. “How much has she had?”

“Relax, Yoongi. Not even our lightweight champion gets drunk that fast,” Jennie reassures him as they help you seat yourself on the top step. “Are you familiar with panic attacks?”

Yoongi rubs the back of his neck and nods silently, backing up to give you some space.

“Jennie. I’m fine now. Thank you,” you mumble, shaking your head and regaining your sense of self. “I’m glad you have my back.”

“Of course. I saw you in the hall and I just knew.”

You jump when you meet the gaze of her white, eerie contacts, which causes both her and Yoongi to laugh. You look up at Yoongi. He shoves his hands into his pockets, long flowing shirt obscuring any flesh poking out from beneath it.

“Hey, you’re not dressed up,” you blurt, realizing he’s sporting a very goth, natural Yoongi look.

He scoffs before bending at the waist and baring his teeth. A single vampire fang is affixed to one of his canines.

You tilt your head like a dog hearing a strange noise. “What, only one fang?”

“Just as dangerous, princess,” he warns with a smirk, standing up straight.

You swear you see a wink, but then again maybe you’re imagining it. You have been known to exaggerate things in your head. Still your stomach somersaults and you focus your attention on Jennie. “I’m okay. I think I’m gonna chill out here for a bit. Get back in there and dance with… god what was his name? Jackson? Jae-beom?”

“Jin-young,” she corrects before biting her lip and glancing back towards the house.

“Go. Hottie McYoungie won’t wait forever,” you tease and point your thumb over at the man hovering above you. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine with toothless over here.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes at the nickname but nods at Jennie. The answer seems to be satisfactory and she gifts you with a tight hug. “Text me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay. Love you. Now go get laid.” You whisper to her before playfully pushing her back. Before you know it she’s scrambling up the steps and slips back inside, tattered dress swinging wildly with the sway of her hips, revealing just enough of her fishnet-clad thighs to draw Yoongi’s attention. There’s a fraction of a second where he wets his lips as he watches her go, but it’s gone in the blink of an eye. You don’t have time to tease because his dark eyes fall to you.

“Is there anything I can do?” His face is stoic but you can hear the sincerity in his tone.

“Wanna take a walk with me? I’d like to keep away from the big crowd.”

“I know the perfect place,” he says, hopping down from the steps and offering you his hand.

You take it with a smile and rise to your feet, carefully moving down the steps as you dust off your butt. The night air is a bit chilly and you start to work your gloves back up your arms to fight the goosebumps forming there.

That’s when you hear it. You want to misread the sound for a flute, recorder, oboe, or even someone’s radio, but you know those are all incorrect assumptions. It’s an ocarina: an ocarina playing a crude rendition of the opening to ‘Gas Pedal.’

Turning slowly, nothing can prepare you for the sight before you. Jungkook stands on the top step of the porch dressed in a green cap and tunic, tan leggings, and the ugliest dark brown boots you’ve ever seen in your life. He’s got the ocarina nestled between his lips, slowly descending each step with a roll of his hips that accentuates the definition of muscles behind the thin material hugging the shape of his legs.

Your eyes are wide, mouth falling open in surprise. “Jungkook?”

As he jumps down the last step he stops the tune and cups the ocarina in his hands, bowing slightly. “Princess.”

“What are you doing?” you ask, biting back the intimidated voice in your head that’s telling you you’re being picked on.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” he asks in a low tone, a crooked smile crossing his features as he takes a few tempered steps towards you.

You swallow. How are you supposed to answer that? You take a deep breath, trying to drive off the urge to run as he advances on you. Yoongi takes a few steps back and folds an arm over his torso, cupping his elbow as he brings a knuckle to rest against his mouth with intrigue. He couldn’t hold out for one more day? Should I step in? He brings his weight to the front of his foot, ready to diffuse the situation.

“It looks like you’re trying to fuck with me.” You stand your ground, clasping your gloved fingers and calmly resting them against your dress in true Zelda fashion.

Yoongi’s weight shifts back, retracting the step he had taken. A direct accusation isn’t exactly something he would have expected from you, but he finds himself pleased nonetheless. He certainly chose a difficult target this time.

Jungkook gets close enough that you can see the tick of his jaw and the part of his lips as he drags his eyes across your form, settling on the cleavage created by your corset. “Some of those words were right.” He pauses, leaning to whisper against the shell of your ear. “Can you guess which ones, Princess?”

Heat consumes your face as his posture straightens. He doesn’t budge past the space he’s already claimed as his, but he doesn’t move forward again to invade yours. He watches, basking in the full on show your face puts on for his own entertainment. First comes the confusion, next realization, and then shame.

It’s hard to tell if he’s coming onto you or picking on you. You swallow, throat growing drier by the second. “You knew I was coming as Zelda. Weren’t you coming as something else?”

He throws his head back enough to feign exasperation while keeping his eyes trained on you. “Come on. You don’t like my costume?”

Instead of giving you time to answer, he brings the ocarina back to his lips and blows an obnoxious amount of air through the hollow space inside, producing a piercing rendition of ‘Talk Dirty to Me.’

Your shoulders raise as you inhale, suppressing the irritation bubbling within your belly. You wince, turning your head as a particularly shrill note escapes the instrument. Yoongi’s expression sours as he plugs both ears with his fingers.

Jungkook immediately stops playing and offers a sheepish grin. “Oops. I learned that one for you. Maybe I need more practice. Do you want to help me?” He briefly pauses to wet his lips, presenting the ocarina to you. “I can show you how to blow.”

You grind your teeth as your jaw ticks back and forth a few times before answering, “No thanks.”

Yoongi silently tents his fingers over his forehead and tries to massage the secondhand embarrassment from his skull. This is a trainwreck waiting to explode and at this point there’s no looking away.

Jungkook raises his eyebrows at you as he stuffs the ocarina into a small brown pouch hanging from the flimsy belt at his waist. “Ah. Sorry, Princess. I don’t mean to insult you. You’ve probably already mastered the art. Hah. Maybe you could show me a thing or two?”

Unable to form a proper response, your lips purse as the wheels in your head spin. Say something clever. Think of a comeback. Something. Come on. But here you stand, mind blanking for even the simplest of clapbacks. You’re having trouble coming to terms with the fact that your innocent little crush on the once “sweet” Kookie has come crumbling down with his facade, leaving your chest aching with the humiliation of your naivety.

He looks you over, admiring the artistry in the gown you’ve lovingly crafted. For a moment he’s lost in the embroidery stitched into the sash swaying in the breeze of a chilly October night. “I love your…” he trails off, eyes darting across your shape to capture every last detail of your attire.

He pays special mind to the gems adorned at your hips, and the heavy-looking chain belt which links the sash to your dress. He marvels over the color and velvet texture chosen for the purple corset at your torso. The sheer attention to detail and craftsmanship in your costume stuns him into silence for half a second.

His eyes reach the perky mounds of flesh peeking over the top of the corset. Miraculously his voice resurfaces. “...costume.”

The way his dark eyes linger on your chest isn’t lost on you. Your cheeks burn in the cool air, despite the goosebumps littering your arms. You cross your arms over your chest, higher than you normally would to combat his lurid gaze. The green hat atop his head folds over itself as he cocks to one side. Dark, hungry eyes snap to yours, voicelessly pouting at your blockade. For a split second a guilty excitement pulses through you, but you’ll be damned if you’re the cause of an obviously already inflated ego.

“You never said what you think of mine,” he prods. His eyebrows wiggle up and down as he slowly runs his hands along his torso, as if feeling himself up is going to sway your opinion.

You tell yourself not to fall for it, that he’s playing you for a fool right now. Still, your jaw is tight as your eyes helplessly follow the flow of his fingers down his body. His pinky purposefully catches on the flimsy pleather strap acting as the belt at his waist. An impish grin spreads across his face as he notes the way your chest stutters out the breath you’d unknowingly held. Satisfied, his hands continue their languid journey down his body. Your eyes are glued to the way he traces the contours of his thighs.

Finally his fingers dig into the meat of his those muscles and you feel the need to look away before answering. “I hate it.”

He sighs. “Hate is a strong word. Are you sure that’s how you really feel? Why don’t you look at me when you say that?”

Strengthening your resolve, you force your eyes back to his smug face. Stupid doesn’t even begin to cover how you’re feeling at this point. Biting back tears, you swallow hard and do your best to remain composed. Here he stands, a crooked smile amplifying the air of arrogance surrounding him. He’s playing you. He’s been playing you this whole time hasn’t he?

“I don’t even know who you really are, do I?” your voice cracks, only adding to your humiliation.

“I’m the bad guy. Duh.” With that he cackles as he pulls the ocarina from his pouch, proceeding to play the melody from ‘Bad Guy.’

You spin on your heels and storm past Yoongi, the blood rushing through your ears in a distraught rage, drowning out the bitter sound of the notes. A pang of guilt strikes the half-assed vampire as he stares at his friend. “One more day. You couldn’t make one more day?”

Jungkook shrugs, making his way back up the stairs. “If you see Hobi, tell him I’ll have his money tomorrow.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Dragging your hands across your face, you keep your gaze cast towards the ground.

How fucking idiotic, how self-absorbed have you been to assume that he’s been nice because he likes you and not because he was playing some game with you? He's probably just been waiting for an opportunity like this and you fell right into his trap. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

A hand clamps down on your shoulder and you spin, ready to deck the person you assume to be Jungkook. Yoongi's eyebrows raise as you stand poised to punch. He ducks to the side just in time. As you realize your mistake, it's too late. The momentum brings you forward.

His arms come up around you in a soft embrace, one that you're quick to return. "It's just me," he mumbles, kneading his thumb against your back. "...Sorry."

You bury your face into his shoulder, allowing the tiara to slip from your head and hit the soft ground with a dull thud. Why is he apologizing? He didn't do anything wrong. You want to tell him that, but any sound you make might bring about a slew of tears you've been holding back. Instead you just squeeze your arms around him even tighter.

He awkwardly pats your back a few times, not quite knowing what to do with the hug that's lasting longer than anticipated. Sensing his discomfort, you pull away and adjust your wig as you offer an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry."

A figure approaches, bending down to pick up the forgotten adornment. Out of the corner of your eye you see him rub the dirt off the tiara. Jin carefully places it on your head. "A princess should have a crown."

You look him over, noting the giant overalls, red newsboy cap and hideous fake mustache. You can't help but laugh as he forces a hard blink and puckers his lips, alternating lifting sides of his mouth so the mustache comically tweaks itself in a seesaw motion. "I like your costume," you manage between giggles.

He grins back, donning an over-the-top Italian accent. "I a-like-a yours too! A beautiful costume for a beautiful a-woman."

"Please stop," Yoongi groans.

Jin ignores him, fiddling with the corner of his mustache. "I don't-a know where my brother went. I think he's a-scared of the haunted mansion."

You roll your eyes at the joke. That's right. Jungkook was supposed to be Luigi. "He's busy playing a dick for the night."

A look of realization washes over him and he nods, puffing out air through overly inflated cheeks. "Hmm. You know what might-a make you feel better? Helping me scare-a the pants off of people!"

He folds his elbow and holds it out for you, tempting you to lace yours around it. Channeling your bruised ego and hurt feelings into scaring people for fun? That might just work. You feed your elbow through the crook in his. "Zelda and Mario working together."

Jin laughs. "The dream-a team!" He makes a motion to skip towards the outer entrance to the basement that he's dressed up with spiderwebs and a large, hand-made sign that says "MARIO'S GHOST HOUSE." Beside the entrance is a giant blown-up decoration of King Boo, its pink tongue flapping in the breeze.

As you're tugged in the direction of his creation, he stops abruptly. "Oh, we haven't had that many people though. So we have to make the few that come through count!"

Yoongi's eyes light up. "Hey. I’ve got an idea. I’ll get you a the best customer. But you have to really scare him. I promise it will make your night."

Puzzled, you furrow your brows and tilt your head. “Okay…?”

Jin grins like a maniac as Yoongi makes his way towards the front of the house. “Come on. I’ll show you the best spots to hide.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

About twenty minutes have passed since Yoongi left in search of his promised customer. Only a few people have wandered in. You have to admit it’s therapeutic to watch people scream and jump when you bang on the false walls within the maze Jin has somehow constructed in this basement. Watching people run up the final stairs to safety leaves you with a feeling of satisfaction, always giving Jin a prideful high-five before returning to the beginning to await more guests.

“Ah! My-a new-a guests!” you hear Jin enthusiastically greet the latest people to stop at the entrance. “Are you a-ready to have fun?”

There’s some hushed whispering that you can’t quite make out from your hiding place within the set.

“Don’t be such a pussy,” Yoongi chides loudly. “Seokjin made this. Do you really think it’s that scary?”

“P-Pussy?” Hoseok stares wide-eyed at his friend and scoffs. “Don’t be rude. I just know Seokjin. It will be worse than whatever I think”

Is that Hobi? You were kind of hoping Yoongi would get Jungkook to walk through. Knowing what you do now though, you have no doubt that Jungkook would be unphased by something like this. All you can hear in your head is the echo of his obnoxious laughter and a pang of hurt slices through your heart. God, you’re so stupid.

Yoongi points to the Boo’s tongue flapping in the wind. “It will be like that, probably. It’s silly to be so afraid.”

Hoseok bounces from foot to foot in uncertainty. Even a police uniform can’t steel his spine or guarantee safety. “Why should I do this to myself?”

Yoongi sighs. “I’ll help you look at new places and… help you move. I’ll even be your roommate if the rent is too high.”

Hoseok is beaming. How long has he been asking for help searching? Jin looks from one man to the other, hiding the subtle smile beneath his mustache. He knew Hoseok wouldn’t go in so easily, that something had to be offered up, but he really didn’t expect Yoongi to go so far.

Hoseok points at Jin. “You’re my witness. I go through this and he’s my roommate.”

“If the rent is too high only,” Yoongi tries to reason, but it’s too late. Hoseok has heard what he wants to hear. He grabs his friend and marches into the depths of the basement.

Immediately you bang the walls on their journey down, feeling Jin rush past you to set up for the next scare. Hobi screams. “Never mind! Never mind!”

Yoongi scoffs, dragging his friend forward. “Come on, officer.”

You listen for their footsteps as you circle the walls behind the maze. Hobi’s frantic yelling breaks through the room, slipping into loud curses. You pull your glove up and wait, peeking through the hole you’re hoping he’ll get close enough to. Even shrouded in shadows, Yoongi’s form peeks out from around the corner.

“Don’t think about the dark,” Yoongi says, slowly shuffling towards the wall with Hoseok crouched behind him, using him as a shield from any more scares. “Think about how you bet Jungkook he couldn’t stop himself from trying to get in Y/N’s pants, not even for one month.”

You freeze. Yoongi knows you can hear him, right? He has to know.

“Think about how well he was doing. You would have been cleaning his house tomorrow. Maid Hobi, bound by servitude.”

“I know…” Hoseok groans. “It would have been awful. He’s so messy! I wouldn’t even be getting paid! What was I thinking?”

“But instead, he bet you a month’s rent that he could,” Yoongi continues loudly. “He blew it tonight for the chance to dress up as Link and tease Zelda. He only had one more day.”

“He’s a dumbass,” Hobi comments with a nod, turning to look at the ceiling and making sure nothing is going to drop down on him.

You swallow, taking in the revelation Yoongi has just bestowed upon you. All this time you had spent thinking Jungkook was a sweet gentleman was actually due to Hoseok making a bet with him? You would rather have known Jungkook was a dick straight up because now the innocent, harmless crush you have on him feels so dirty and foul that you wish you could swipe it from existence.

It’s Jungkook’s fault. He lied. He pretended. You know this. But still you can’t help but partially blame Hobi for the bitter taste in your mouth. As Yoongi passes, you reach out, letting your fingers swipe down Hobi’s forearm and retract through the hole in the wall as he lets out a high-pitched scream.

“Hoseok, get off.” Yoongi tries to push away the man climbing onto his back.

“Something grabbed me! Something grabbed me!” Hoseok wraps his legs around Yoongi’s waist and huddles close to his neck pointing. “Over there! It grabbed me from over there!”

“Let’s keep moving, then.”

“No! No more! I’m standing right here until the sun comes up.”

“How is it standing if your feet aren’t touching the ground? I won’t carry you all night,” Yoongi says, adjusting his stance to compensate for the weight on his back.

“You will, too,” he pouts.

Jin helps you position a furry spider decoration above them, slowly dangling it lower until it finally hits Hoseok’s shoulder. The wail that escapes this grown ass man almost makes you feel bad. Almost. He swats the creature into darkness as he spurs Yoongi on by digging his heels into his belly. “Get me out of here! Please!”

Jin’s shoulders move up and down with the sound of his laughter as he slaps your hand in victory. Scaring Hobi made you feel a little better at least.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

The party has died down quite a bit and at this point Jimin has been passing you far too many drinks as he and Namjoon regale you with tales from college. Namjoon is clearly feeling toasty, laughing like a dork at every memory Jimin brings up. Apparently they were roommates and Jimin has a liberal arts degree from four years of being undecided.

Your head lolls around to rest on Namjoon’s shoulder, your backs pressed against the bottom of the couch as Jimin sits cross-legged in sweats and a t-shirt on the floor before you, his costume laying discarded beside him. He’s spinning his latest story of how Namjoon had accidentally thrown up on some girl he really liked. Yoongi silently lays on the couch behind you, smirking with his eyes closed. You can’t tell if he’s sleeping or just relaxing as you struggle to stand, using Namjoon’s shoulder as leverage to prop yourself up.

“Bathroom?” you ask distractedly, searching the room like a door will appear if you look hard enough.

Jimin smiles pointing at the doorway across the room. “Go out that door, take a left down the hall. It’ll be on your right.”

Your head dips a bit as you try to take in the directions. Namjoon looks up at you as you stumble forward, clearly off-balance. “Do you need some help, geeksquad?”

“I’m fine,” you mumble, hating the nickname he’s given you from work. “I’ll be right back. Don’t drink my drink.” You narrow your eyes at Jimin and he blinks at you in surprise, like you’ve accused him of such a heinous, unthinkable crime.

Rounding the corner, you pass a grinning Taehyung being led upstairs by a cute girl in a red beret, black and white striped shirt, and miniskirt with suspenders. Art hoe? Mime? It’s hard to tell what her costume might be. While his skin is covered in a beautiful mess of colors, your tri-force symbol still stands untouched at the center of his chest. You smile as you watch him climb the steps, clearly distracted. But as his back is revealed, your eyes widen at the sight of a mural of painted dicks. Well. At least he can’t see them.

You walk down the hall for what feels like an eternity, passing a few closed doors on either side. Maybe you should try one? Knocking on the one closest to you once, the door swings in and you lose your balance, not expecting it to open.

“What took you so long? I almost came without you.” The voice is pouty and low, somewhat familiar. He gasps when he realizes you’re not the person he’s been waiting for.

You stumble forward, falling to your knees and catching the bed frame before your face smacks into the wood. As graceful as you can manage, you pull yourself up. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to! I didn’t realize it was open and I was just looking for the---” The will to speak leaves you as soon as you see him.

A very sweaty, very naked Jungkook crosses his arms and he leans back expectantly, smushing the pillows behind him into the headboard. Your eyes take in the pleased expression on his face, quickly scanning the muscles of his folded arms, his chiseled abs, his bulging legs. The pointy green hat he had been wearing earlier tents across his sculpted hips and pelvis, thankfully obscuring any shape hidden beneath it.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again tonight,” he says, licking his lips as he watches your form tremble, practically falling apart in front of him before adding, “...Princess.”

A devilish grin overtakes him at the sight of you spinning around a little too fast, staggering towards the door and holding onto the frame for dear life. “I hoped I wouldn’t see you again tonight.”

“I can’t say it isn’t a nice surprise. You don’t have to leave,” he coaxes. “Do you wanna see my Master Sword?”

“Grow up!” You make sure to slam the door shut behind you. You hate him so fucking much it hurts.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

“Jennie, how could I be so wrong about him?” you sigh, dropping your forehead against the kitchen table. It’s been three weeks since you’ve talked to him, but it’s still the only thing you can think about.

Jennie takes a sip from her beer. “Sweetie, you’re not good at reading liars. Maybe you should look at some dating apps. You could get good read quick.”

“But I don’t wanna,” you whine into the coated wood. “Why can’t people just be nice?”

“Because. People suck. Come on, Y/N. Jungkook ain’t worth the headache. Drink with me. I’ll show you how Tinder works. It’s not so bad.”

When you don’t say anything, she tugs your chair across the floor, dragging your form close to hers and setting her phone down on the table. You peek out at the screen as you raise your head and rest it on a lazy elbow.

“Swipe right on the hotties. Swipe left on the fuckboys and losers. Jungkook? He’s a swipe left. But look at all these good ones on here. These are all swipe righties.”

You nod as she goes through a few profiles and begin downloading the app on your phone. Maybe she’s onto something.

[formulinos]

I am on an "wanted to ask but unfollowed instead" spree today. Did it to @race-week, and did it to you bestie.

Anyways, I read the final lando-gate update, and I found this bit very interesting:

"And that’s another important things I want to get in, I’ve seen a lot of people claim this was racist, and here’s a lil fun fact: we can’t tell. We don’t know. Our concept of race is incredibly different from the one adopted by Europeans and North Americans, who lump us all into one ethnicity (“latino”) and try to tell us we’re POC even though, depending on the place you’re at, you couldn’t tell the difference between here and Germany. This is not cool by the way, because unlike the myth that says that Latin America is a big haven for the plurality of cultures (and it is, the sheer fact we have had different colonisers, influences from a lot of countries, the indigenous presence, unfortunately the influx of African cultures too because of slavery, people who ran away from wars in their countries, etc etc), we all suffered because of “Whitening”, that is, the racist insistence of making sure that people had mixed children with white people to improve our bloodline. The result is that our race is very much something we identify socially with and a lot of people who read as POC outside of Latin America aren’t considered POC here. That’s not to say it wasn’t wrong just because “it wasn’t funny”. It’s xenophobic, it’s prejudice, it’s everything else and a bit more."

Here are some (maybe dumb, maybe tone deaf, feel free to ignore/cancel/delete ask) questions I have (and I'll keep this confined to Brazil bec that's what you know best, and so it is streamlined):

How do you see race within Brazil differently?

Who are you talking about when you say that some people are seen as POC abroad but are not considered POC inside Brazil? Do you mean people who "pass as white?" Are they usually the ones who have the power in Brazil?

Where can I read more about "Whitening"? Was this something imposed directly onto the locals by white colonials (say by, law or forced programs), or was this more through indirect means like making people ashamed of their skin colour and prompting them to take up the practice on their own?

hey there! np about the unf, it happens to the best of us!

so, first and second questions can be basically answered together. in here, we usually don’t focus on our genealogy too much and go through passibility, so, how white do we/our features look. of course, because of how most Brazilians have practically every single nationality in their dnas, that ended up kinda making our definition of “white” change a bit to fit more people in, so while there’s a lot of people who are lily white and end up all red under the sun, there’s also people who have a lot of non-“white” ancestors but end up identifying as white here just because they look similar enough and it��s simpler. we have had a lot of issues recently talking about race because there has been an influence from racism discussions worldwide under the north american “one drop rule” pov, and i think it’s the sort of subtlety that should first be sorted out within our cultures before we talk about it worldwide because if we want to fit a certain categorisation created in a whole other context to ours, it might lead to new issues. particularly speaking, my family and i identify as white, but as my mother says, we have brown nipples and not a lot of documentation so we can never be sure - and that’s another point: most of us don’t even have a clue where we come from because the job of colonisers to keep us uneducated was so well-done a lot of accounts/documents have been destroyed or never even made. on the second part of your second question, whiteness is whiteness everywhere and people who read as white here are as privileged as you would think. it does create some awkward situations when some of these who don’t read as white elsewhere get treated the way POC would. the foreigners don’t care about us.

on “whitening”: heck dude you can even start from wikipedia and take it from there (“branqueamento”, “blanquimento”, “clean up the race”, “improve the race” and some of these other terms will be seen around). we usually learn about it at school here. a lot of it comes from the late XIX century’s ideals of social darwinism and positivism (aka scientific racism), and while it wasn’t strictly reinforced like some of the segregation/jim crow politics, the fact Brazil basically opened their doors (and legs) to a lot of immigrants from white-predominant countries (just look at South Brazil and their small communities of European descendants who still think they are Europeans themselves) is also tied to these eugenic concepts.

if any of my fellow latinos/brazilians want to chime in, feel free to!