#and you know what? i'm angry so fuck you

[cilil]

After harassing me for money again - which I've repeatedly stated is a futile effort (I'm currently spending fall and winter swaddled in layers of floof each day so I can avoid heating as much as possible due to crazy back payments :)) and also made clear is generally not welcome on this blog - one person in my asks has now decided that it's okay to repeatedly send me pictures of a nude child in an effort to solicit money.

I do not consent to seeing your children nude, I do not want to see that EVER and depending on your jurisdiction that may already be ILLEGAL. For what it's worth, I thoroughly reported you and your message.

Well. I very much enjoy the ask feature, but the policy has always been that if someone abuses it I won't put up with it. Asks are off until I have the nerve to deal with this nonsense again.

Since I suspect that, aside from the pictures, some of y'all in my inbox are also committing fraud, I'm technically doing you a favor by preventing you from attempting it at least in my case. And don't think for a second I couldn't prove or argue that.

[lloydfrontera]

i don't buy that lloyd would get over his fear of the restoration of fate that quickly. he was doomed by the narrative for years and now he's supposed to shake it off in less than two weeks? absolutely not, he literally tried to kill himself in order to avoid it, ain't no fucking way he just stopped being scared about it in a couple days i don't believe it

anyway. this is my way of saying that lloyd refused to cross dimensions until he made javier swear that he would kill him with his own hands if there was even a hint of the restoration of fate starting up again. he wouldn't consider going back if it meant putting his family and home in danger again even if it meant being left behind in a place he would've rather died than stay at.

and they both know that javier would fall on his own sword before hurting lloyd but they also know lloyd would take his own life before allowing him to do that or to let his existence put his loved ones in danger again. they know lloyd doesn't really need javier to kill himself, not if he's really committed to it. he's done it before it after all.

him asking javier this is. a warning. of what he's planning to do if the restoration of fate starts again. it's his way of telling javier that he cannot promise things will be okay if he comes back. that he must be ready to lose lloyd again if necessary because lloyd won't allow anything else.

it's also maybe... an indulgence on lloyd's part. he's felt himself die so many times now. and so many of his deaths were painful or terrifying or surrounded by his enemies and sometimes all three at once.

but he remembers a sunset, a coat over his shoulders, shaky yet reliable hands holding a sword. a quick, peaceful death on his own terms, done by someone lloyd trusted with something far more important than his life.

and he knows it's selfish, he knows it's cruel, but if he has to die, for real this time, can't it be at the hands of his best friend? if he has to be killed, can't it be done by someone lloyd knows cares for him? if he has to close his eyes and never open them again, can't the last thing he ever sees be the face of the person he loves enough to die for as many times as necessary?

and javier agrees because. what else can he do. he spent so long hoping lloyd would finally trust him enough to tell him what he was planning so javier could help him in anyway he was able to and now. now lloyd is asking this of him.

he desperately doesn't want to say 'yes'. but he cannot say 'no'.

what else can he do.

what's the point of being the most powerful human on the world if he can't even protect the one person he swore to protect above all things. what's the point of him if the only thing he can do is promise to kill his best friend because he has no other way to protect everything they've worked for.

how can he promise lloyd that everything will be okay, that things will work out, that if needed javier will die for him before letting anything happen to him, when he already failed before.

what else can he do

anyway. i don't think any amount of end spoilers and confessions to the jewel of truth are enough to soothe the terrified, paranoid and utterly traumatized part inside lloyd's chest that goes tight any time anything goes even remotely wrong for a good while. it takes a couple months, maybe a few years even, before lloyd stops going cold every time there's even a hint of trouble around him. before he stops reflexively looking to javier's sword to calm himself down whenever things don't go perfectly right in every way.

it takes a while. but it does happen. and things aren't perfect, that's not how life works, but they're good and even when they aren't, lloyd can finally face them and believe they're not his fault. that his existence is not an obstacle for the happiness of the people he loves.

[transmechanicus]

Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.

[wimpy-imp]

I remember many times when my grandmother would make off hand remarks about how testosterone would make me look like a joke. that it would be funny and unnatural for someone like me to have a beard.

before that i remember my mother outing me to my grandparents without my knowledge or consent. and then having to sit with both of them on different occasions for a year while they tried to tell me i was just a masculine woman. One where they thought it was okay to ask if I'd get pregnant if a potential partner "really really wanted it 🥺" (Which. sidenote. what the actual fuck??)

i remember the day after one of those conversations my mother took me into town for a "suprise" from my grandma. and they tried to make me get my ears pierced. even when i said i didn't want to. the only reason they stopped was because i had an autistic shutdown in public and they were too embarrassed to keep trying to force me into it. That happened 2 years ago. i have very real trauma from that day.

They never cared about my gender nonconformity until i came out.

They still seem to believe that I'd only be a man if i actually secretly hated myself.

[foxgirlmoth]

So F1nnster just came out as genderfluid but still I super fucking hate him. Making trap content and constantly making money off of a performance of being a fake girl, getting a name change and gender marker change and posting about going through that all while basically shoving it in the faces of trans women who have struggled over years and years. You've been a performance and you've gained wealth essentially making fun of us and enforcing horrible stereotypes, and saying "Yeah I just don't care about gender" Does Not Make Me Fucking Forgive Any Of That. What fucking hatred you've tossed onto your channel towards trans women will not go away easily, and Fuck You.

[mushroomjar]

I don't like the way you guys talk about Palestinians asking for donations. I don't like it.

I had to see someone make MULTIPLE posts bitching and moaning about how people need to stop sending them asks asking for them to reblog their donation posts, that they'd just be blocking them from now on, and that they didn't care if they were vetted because they still found the act of sending asks to get reblogs on their donation links suspicious, even if they were in a dire situation. They even went as far as to say that they got an ask, deleted it, and then they got another ask from the same person, and accused the person of sending another ask to purposefully "get under their skin"

I don't know man, have you considered that being a victim of ongoing genocide will make you ask for help in whatever way you can? And sometimes that involves sending random blogs asks to see if they can donate or at the very least share your donation links? A Palestinian reaches out to you multiple times because they need help and your response is to whine about getting donation links in your inbox? I wish I had your problems

Also the thing about "getting the exact same ask from the exact same blog multiple times"... uh, duh? First of all, they're probably reaching out to dozens of blogs daily, do you think they're gonna type up a new paragraph for each blog they reach out to? Second of all, maybe they reached out to you multiple times because a. They really really really need the help and b. What, do you think they're gonna see your URL/blog and be like "oh! I already reached out to this blog, I'm not gonna send them another ask"? Or do you think they'll be like "this person has been reblogging other people's donation posts, maybe they'll reblog mine too"?

Like I understand being suspicious about getting sent donation links to your inbox, but literally all you have to do is check if the blog's been vetted by other bloggers? It's as easy as searching for their URL on tumblr sometimes, it literally takes less than a minute or two. And that's what bothers you? That's what you're complaining about? Find a real problem!!!

[tea-cat-arts]

"Madam Yu would be a Karen/ treat minimum wage employees like shit-" literally the only servant she's shown abusing is Wei Wuxian (and that's because he's the victim of a proxy war between her and Jiang Fengmian around the idea of him being adopted into the family, not because of his class). Madam Yu's two handmaid's love and respect her, and Madam Yu actually defends them when Wang Lingjiao tries being a Karen to them. She also tells Wang Lingjiao to fuck off when she demands the Jiang servants bring her tea.

Also, Karens are unpleasant women, but not all unpleasant women are Karens. That term is about entitlement and being unreasonable (and often times, racist). Madam Yu is mean and unpleasant to talk to, but she keeps most of her interactions brief and probably doesn't have the time or mental energy to be a Karen or hold a grudge that long. If you want an actual example of a Karen in mdzs, Wang Lingjiao is right there

[uncanny-tranny]

This might be controversial to some, but you cannot "tough love" your way to preventing suicide. You cannot have the attitude that people who complete suicide are selfish or are ungrateful or immature. If your mindset about suicide isn't coming from compassion rather than judgment, it won't help suicidal people. You will never help us with a slap on the wrist and a lecture about how we're awful for even thinking about completing suicide.

Suicide intervention starts with compassion and care.

[beanghostprincess]

Sanji snapping at his dearest most beloved Nami-swan just because they don't know where Usopp is and he's worried sick makes my mind go to places I didn't know it could

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

[riisume]

Today was an absolute dumpster fire at home. I can't wait for my roommate's ex to move out after what happened today holy shit...

I don't have many people on my shit list, but after today, she's definitely on there. The audacity of her saying some of the shit she said to me-

I wish I could go back to NYC and stay with my parents for a month or two and visit homies... but I don't want to give her that power.

[yarpharp]

hey im back again barely a few days later and like.... okay so Astarion is Fucked Up™. But also, to be further Fucked Up (depending on whether you want this to be official canon or just leave it as old content Larian left out) Astarion was a fucking MAGISTRATE of Baldur's Gate pre-vampirism?

Depending on how you want to interpret this, that can mean a number of things. One: He was the equivalent of a sitting judge in Baldur's Gate courts. Astarion was an elf of 39 WITH THE POLITICAL AND JUDICIAL HEFT OF THE CITY AT HIS NIMBLE FINGERTIPS. Two: He was the equivalent of a prosecutor in Baldur's Gate courts. That means he was 39 and a goddamn lawyer. Three: He was the equivalent of a specialized judge, a "judge of inquiry." Four: He was a state/city-appointed official that handled population information, public registers, and acted as a public notary.

Either way, it's hard to listen to this possible-backstory of his life pre-turning and not go "Cazador..... You are a disgusting piece of shit. Absolutely vile. But also..... you turned a perfectly smart and possibly very able-bodied city official with political power into a goddamn enslaved prostitute? Other than the fact you are clearly a sick son of a bitch, you are also an fucking moron for letting that kind of talent rot."

I mean, Astarion as you meet him is not stupid. He's honestly worryingly smart and perceptive (generally, if the dice rolls are kind), and his ability to hoodwink people into thinking he's just some shallow vapid bloodsucker is quite the intricate little disguise. It's been his defense mechanism for over 200 years, but it might also hint at the fact he's generally quite good at running verbal circles around people. It deeply upsets me to think this elf had a very impressive career for an elf of 39 (not even out of immaturity by elven standards! Not even 100! He still had his elf baby name!) and was debased so fucking horribly. And sure, there's some other content attached to this possible-backstory. Hints that he was a "morally-questionable" magistrate, willing to take bribes or look the other way in some cases. But that doesn't mean he didn't have to learn ALL OF THE LAW required to have his city-appointed station, ALL OF THE EDUCATION. The man had to have been from a reasonably reputable background to even afford that kind of education. Higher class, certainly. The way he speaks is enough of an indication.

Idk i'm ranting. Lowkey more reasons to slaughter Cazador; fucker ruined the life of a goddamn Magistrate elf who was insanely young to have such a high position in city government. (if you vibe with that discarded canon. I personally think it fits him well and just lump it in anyway)

[bandsandwristbands]

Vent post

[buildarocketboys]

Dear transmascs,

I love y'all, I appreciate your posts and find solidarity in your struggles. But please, PLEASE could you acknowledge that some (many) trans people who don't identify as transmasc share in the same struggles? Please could you acknowledge non-transmasc (afab) non-binary/genderqueer people in your posts that also affect them once in a while? Could you please NOT co-opt the death of a NON-BINARY trans person to talk about how transmascs are oppressed for being transmasculine? Like, yes, there are overlaps between transandrophobia and enbyphobia (and transmisogyny) and these are important to talk about but please realise that you can do this WITHOUT erasing non-binary people who do not identify as transmasc.

Idk maybe this seems like a non-issue to a lot of people but it's honestly deeply fucking upsetting to me, as an (afab) genderqueer person. I'm not saying you have to make all posts about transmasc people about non-binary people as well but please just. When something is ABOUT a non-binary person and that person doesn't explicitly identify as transmasc, please, please don't erase their identity and make it ONLY about the experience of being transmasc??

I'm so fucking tired.

Signed,

A genderqueer person

(btw if you come on this post being shitty about transmascs or talking about how transandrophobia isn't real or whatever, you're getting an instant block. This ain't about that, transandrophobia is real but so is enbyphobia/exorsexism.)

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

First of all, a delightful name for a quest. Love it.

Second of all, this honestly should've been a short quest where you collect clues and have some banter, which would culminate in this conversation. I think as such this conversation is perfectly fine. (Well, at least with my limited knowledge of the topic as a cis woman.) However, just going there and having this talk, without more context and a little more build up, feels... a little abrupt, and (maybe I'm dense but) I was confused about how Taash arrived at the conclusion that the Antaam was blighting dragons. (Then again, when playing a new game, I can get distracted, so I might have missed something before.) They identify the Antaam by finding the ropes, which makes sense to me, but the rest seems less clear. I do appreciate what they're trying to do with Taash and the kind of story they're trying to tell, probably knowing full well how that's going to go, considering the state of the internet these days. I think that's great, and I really enjoy Taash as a character. But I said in my "review" before that Taash could use more questing, and I wanted to show what I meant. This is one of those moments when I thought, "This should've been a short quest instead of just a dialogue cutscene." Then again, I like dialogue cutscenes, so I can't complain too much, but I do think that if there were some more clues and banter leading up to this conversation, it would help us better understand the situation with the blighted dragons, because that tells us something about the methods of the main villains which connects it to the main plot, and also Taash as a character that is working through something very difficult which is undoubtedly a process worth showing.

[impala-dreamer]

is this too romantic? am I going too far? is there any other way to write romance than all in, all encompassing, perfectly magical? no. this is fine.