#and you dont want to leave your friend behind. but what if theyre right?

[idiotsonlyevent]

the summer hikaru died is so gay. like even if it wasn't 'actually gay' it would still be gay.

[domoriu]

perv bsf!bonedo

req - could you imagine bonedo as your bestfriend and theyre lowk freaky and a perv for you

warnings: the boys are kinda (really) icky, 18+ mdni !! panty stealing/sniffing, non consented recording, manipulation? idk… also ty @tsandoll for helping me w some of these 🫶🏽 the rest of the members under the cut !! <3

sungho

super subtle about it

youd never guess he was so pervy

everyone else around you guys would definitely know sungho had some sort of crush on you, but you’re oblivious to it and think its just him being a gentleman and good friend

buys you whatever you want, will even buy you clothes if you talk about needing some new outfits. ends up dressing you up the way he likes and gets turned on seeing you in the outfits he bought for you

“do you think this looks good?” and he’s nodding and trying his best to not pop a boner in front of you

you’re at a party? sungho is gonna be your plus one. he doesn’t even care about your complaints about him “scaring the hoes” cuz you get touchy when you get under the influence and he’s going to be there for you and enjoy the next few hours of you clinging to him

he even lowkey sabotages any relationship you could possibly have, tells people you two are dating/fucking and leaves you to wonder why none of the people you’ve been interested in ever pay you any mind.

when he comes to your house he has to fight the urge to sniff all of your clothes and your sheets. you just smell so good to him, and he knows if he gets a hard enough whiff he might get hard.

when he jerks off, he’s imagining its your hand, he’s imagining what your mouth would feel like wrapped around him, and he imagines how you’d look taking his cock.

goes through your messages together with his phone in hand while the other one is wrapped around his cock, playing back the voice messages you’ve sent him before to help him get off. then once he’s cum to the thought of you he’s calling you and talking to you like nothing happened.

riwoo

shy boy. its a little more obvious that he’s a little pervert, and you’re using that to your advantage.

he’s acting really innocent but he knows exactly what he’s doing. he just might be a little clumsy with it, which is ultimately how you figured out his perv agenda.

gets hard so fast, and you constantly touching him doesn’t help his case at all

you invite him over, he’s running to your bathroom to quickly jerk off. he tries to be quiet, but he fails miserably.

“riwoo? are you okay in there?” you’re smirking behind the door and he doesn’t even realize how obvious it is that he’s in there getting himself off, and by the way he stutters a weak “y-yeah im fine!” you know exactly what he’s doing.

he’s a bed/pillow humper. when you two have sleepovers, and you fall asleep before him, he’s putting a pillow over his dick and softly thrusting into it, even sometimes he’ll do that when you’re awake, just really slowly and subtly so you dont notice. but when you’re asleep, he’s more shameless. eagerly humping the pillow or even humping the mattress while he stares at your sleeping body.

sometimes he’ll just jerk off as fast as he can, staring at your figure while you sleep. he’s edging himself, each time your body twitches or you turn in your sleep he stops touching himself, so close to cumming but he doesn’t want to get caught. he cums quick the nights you wear something loose or something more revealing, because he can move the fabric to see exactly what he needs to get to his climax.

whatever he does while you’re asleep you’re not aware of, but you know that you catch him staring a little too hard at your cleavage sometimes or catch him looking at your ass

touchy with you and he tries to say its just friendly touching, but no friend keeps their hand right at the bottom of their friends back before the curve of their ass, or rests their hands or head on their friends tits when they watch movies.

jaehyun

a little shameless about it, but he’s always scared out of his mind that you’ll find him gross

the flirting he does with you is a bit more flirty than his usual, sometimes leaving you flustered but you mask it well.

“a little kissing never hurt a friendship” while he looks at you with his big puppy eyes. all you can do is stare at him and laugh because no way he’s serious.

“jaehyun… you’re staring at my tits again” “sorry! sorry… they’re just… so nice…” and he’s absolutely not sorry

dirty little panty sniffer. super scared of getting caught though, but he ends up snitching on himself

“definitely wasnt going through your stuff while you were in the bathroom” no one accused you of doing that but if you say so…

touchy as fuck. like youve never met someone as touchy as jaehyun. and you know he means no harm, so you let him cop a feel from time to time

back to the panty sniffing, also a pillow humper. will steal a different pair of your panties each week, ruin them completely and then return them like nothing happened (he’ll wash them first of course, he doesn’t want to get caught)

he even knows about the box you keep in your bedside drawer, the one with your toys in it. jerks off to the thought of you fucking yourself open with your dildo, wishes that he could be the one fucking you instead. wishes he could press your vibrator on your clit while he stretches you out on his cock.

taesan

also a shy perv

but he’s a lot bolder than youd think

thinks with his dick… once his dick twitches his mind goes blank

since he’s tall, he’s definitely using this to his advantage. its a lot easier for him to stare down your shirt with this angle

he might get a little bold sometimes and take a pic under your skirt

has a whole folder of “off guard” photos of you, every time he takes one you’re trying to grab his phone to see the pic but he refuses, telling you that its for his eyes only and that youll try to delete them - whole time he had taken various panty shots and other body pics

steals your panties, goes through your clothes bin and sniffs them until he feels dizzy and his cock is straining in his pants.

he tries to be subtle about everything and he’s mostly successful, never catching him doing anything out of the ordinary and anything he asks you to do for him doesn’t seem too off putting

if you’re complaining to him about a guy you’ve been talking to, he’s asking you what they do that gives you the ick and what they do that makes you like them a little more

he makes sure you’re comfortable with him always, there’s never been tmi between the both of you so you feel comfortable telling him about your sex stories - he listens super intensely, and at night he’s humping his mattress at the thought of fucking you just the way you like, because he knows he’d be better than any of the guys youve been fucking

he’s also cumming loudly with your name leaving his lips repeatedly. he wishes he could send you a pic of his stomach covered in his cum and tell you that you’re the reason he came so much

having trouble deciding what type of revealing pics to send to a guy? taesan is telling you that you should send it to him first, so he can tell you from a guys perspective if its good, and will definitely ask you for multiple pictures for “options”

he couldn’t care less what you sent to someone else, as long as he always got access to the pics first and he was definitely going to be jerking off to them later.

leehan

another shameless perv… but he’s really shameless - he’s touchy, he compliments you, he even purposely tries to get you flustered

once he gets the reaction he wants out of you he’s just laughing, and he’ll go back to doing the same thing over and over

lets you believe he’s just joking around with you, even though he’s so serious

“can i eat you out as a friend?” “leehan stop, you play around too much” and there was absolutely no hint of joking around in his voice

whenever you stay over at his place he tells you that you can leave your old clothes with him, that he’ll wash them for you so you have clothes when you come over

before he washes them he’s definitely jerking off with your panties, he might even put them in his mouth cuz he’s a sick freak like that….

and whenever you two are on the phone he’s most likely going to jerk off to the sound of your voice

“leehan, are you okay?” “m’fine, just keep telling me about your day” and he has to mute his mic when he cums - might be a little bold and let you hear it

with him being touchy, anyone would think you were a couple with how comfortable he was touching you however he pleased - seriously, why was he gripping your ass in the middle of the store?

pet names!! darling, princess, he’ll even call you a good girl sometimes just to gauge your reaction. might ask you to grab something for him and he’s like “such good girl for me” and you’re left feeling hot all over and confused about your feelings (even if leehan was insanely straightforward)

[t3ag3rs]

g e n s o. - 1 6

(A/N: sorry about the long haitus, i was grounded for awhile 😓)

you glance at bakugou quickly as you take your seat.

you cant help but let a small smile etch across your face. you grab your phone out your backpack and open messages, 

"katsukiiii"

you glance up to see him furrow his brows and open up his phone.

"yeah?”

"so to be clear we're keeping this a secret right?" "since we have exactly started dating yet and all.."

"yep. i dont want all these extras bothering us anyways"

"hey dont be rude theyre our friends kats😋"

"says who?"

"nvm then. ig theyre js my friends.." "but im your friend right??" "you have no other choice sooo 🤗"

"ur annoying as shit."

"dw ik u love it😙"

you smile at your phone and glance at bakugou only to find him staring at you. you give him a quick grin before pretending not to notice him so no one would notice the interaction between the two of you.

"admiring my beauty i see"

"stfu" "was not."

"awwww... r u flustereddd?"

you chuckle to yourself before hearing the bell ring, and put your phone away to prepare for the start of class.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you sigh packing up your notes back in your bag slowly. you wait for the class to empty out for lunch before walking up to bakugou with a smile, "ready?"

he nods, "yeah lets go" he walks beside you as you both walk to the training room for lunch again.

"so..." you start, feeling the quiet to be awkward. you glance at him, "uh.. you feel any better now compared to yesterday..?"

he nods, "yeah im not staying up all night anymore thinking of a certain pestering face" he quips playfully. 

you make a sound of fake hurt, "rude..! i am a very entertaining and comforting thought to many!" you say with a slight giggle.

"damn right you are.." he says with a tiny smirk. your lips curve into a genuine smile and you knock your shoulder against his.

"okay softie.." you tease softly. he chuckles before opening the door for you, "oh how chivalrous of you" you grin as you step in.

he rolls his eyes, "here step back out and ill let you open the door for me if thats what you want" he smirks.

"no thanks kats" you say with a wink. you turn and head to the locker room, "give me 5- imma change" he makes a sound of agreement and sets his stuff down.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you step back into the room and walk up to bakugou. "you stretched already?" you ask as you start to do so yourself. 

he nods, "yeah i did.. imma go to the bench press, call me if you need anything aight?" he says walking off with a water bottle and towel.

he nod before quickly glancing at his body, "gyatttt damn..." you mutter lowly.

"i heard that you damn perv!" he yells, flipping you off over his shoulder. you let out a loud bark of laughter that was soon followed by his.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you grunt as you work on your last set of rdls. you breathe in deeply looking at your feet to distract yourself from the feeling of your tensing muscles. "cmon genso- you got a good 5 more left in you." you hear bakugou say from behind you.

"h-huh?" you gasp from between breaths, "im literally- struggling..!" you grunt.

"nahnah.. cmon" he places his hand on the flat of your back and stomach, "3 more.."

you feel your face flush as you feel his touch on you. you quickly finish the set and drop the weights before stumbling to regain your balance.

"woah there genso..." he says steadying you, "why are you so dizzy? have you eaten anything today?" he asks slightly concerned.

"nah i just need my water.. had a protien shake this morning so im fine.." you manage to gasp out, "dont get too hungry anyways.." you say gulping down your water.

"woahwoahwoah.. you havent ate anything all day?" he repeats, "genso you gotta eat- especially if your working out. here- i have an extra snack bar.." he says grabbing one from his backpack. "your not leaving till you eat it."

"b-but.. what are you gonna eat..?" you say not accepting the bar. 

"i have lunch, ill give you some too.. i made some spicy curry.." he says sitting down and taking out his utensils. "what are you doing just standing there? sit down" he states, patting the space beside him.

you nod slightly sitting down quietly.

"i dont have an extra utensil, so you can eat first" he say pushing the container in front of you. you glance down at it before looking at him and hugging him, "thanks kats.. it means a lot to see you care so much about me.."

he freezes shocked but returns the hug awkwardly at first, but melts into it soon after. "course dumbass.. you need anything im here for you.." he mumbles into your neck softly.

you smile before pulling away and taking a bite of his food. your eyes widen in shock, "kats this is so good..!" you say smiling. you take another scoop and hold it up to his lips, "here have some!" you say excitedly.

he widens his eyes, "b-but- you just-" he stammers.

you wave your hand dismissively, "who cares- ahhhhh" you mimic, opening your mouth. he opens it slightly and you put the spoon in his mouth softly.

"my god- i dont know what i did to get so lucky and get someone who can cook and workout well too..!" you say between bites. "eat some more or else i will" you warn.

"um first of all- hell no. second of all- slow down woman!" he chuckles grabbing the spoon from you. "gonna choke yourself at that rate.." he scoops some curry and brings it to your lips, "open wide.." he mutters quietly.

you widen your eyes but open your mouth nonetheless.

you smile as u chew and swallow, "sooooo.... whats up with u and izu?" you ask as casually as possible. you glance up to see his mouth form a frown, "oh cmon katsss..."

"he just pisses me off. we knew him since forever- he told us he couldnt get a quirk and then out of nowhere he manifests this strong ass quirk!" he runs his hand throigh his hair frustratingly, "i didnt have to worry about the damn nerd before but now- i cant let him beat me, he cant look stronger than me." He stresses looking at his palms.

you sigh pursing your lips, "oh kats... thats what this is all about..?" you rub ur thumb over the back of his hand softly, "i dont care if you were the 197th hero ranked out of 50- i would still be here for you. i dont like you because of how youre  better then everyone else and never lose... i like you because your the most attractive, smart, strong, determined, and hard working guy i met. and thats all that matters okay?"

he glances up at you with widened eyes. he opens his mouth to talk but instead shuts it and scoops you into a tight hug.

"Oh-" you freeze slightly before relaxing into the warmth of his body against yours. "i know dont wanna say thank you, but ill say your welcome nonetheless" you giggle playfully.

Bakugou tightened his grip on you and said a silent prayer,

Please god let me keep this one..

previous parts: pt. 0 0 / pt. 0 1 / pt. 02 / pt. 03 / pt. 04 / pt. 05 / pt. 06 / pt. 07 / pt. 08 / pt. 09 / pt. 10 / pt. 11 / pt. 12 / pt. 13 / pt. 14 / pt. 15 next part: your all caught up for now!

☆taglist! @katszumi @coolgirl458 @niktwazny303 @twinnintwink @froggybich @friedmagazineprincess @itztaki @aikojwhpa

[stevie-petey]

not sure if this has been sent before but rewatching season 3 and the scene where the group are together visiting ms driscol and el and max are reading comics, maybe a blurb about bug introducing them to comics in the summer before it all went wrong again? like her and steve are hanging out and they burst in declaring they are having a girls day/sleepover and wanted comics to read

i LOVE doing some max/el content with big <33

enjoy !

"you dont have to be here, you know."

"i know, but the one day im free from robin, youre stuck at work." steve shrugs, hopping up onto the counter so he can sit. he plucks a discarded pen and tosses it between his hands. "had to enjoy my day somehow, right?"

you stack a book onto the shelf and roll your eyes at him. "because everyone agrees that a dying bookstore is loads of fun to be in for hours on end."

"hey, i thought we agreed not to use the 'd' word?" steve clicks the pen a few times, eyes following you as you tidy around the store.

"my bad," clearing your throat, you look pointedly at him. "what i meant to say is that Bookstrordinary is as lively as a graveyard now due to stupid Starcourt."

"you know that i only have a job because of the mall, right?"

"youre terrible at comforting me."

its steves turn to roll his eyes, only his is done with fondness rather than annoyance. your hair is tied up to keep out of your eyes and youre wearing a denim dress to combat the junes unexpected heat. steve had grown so used to your usual wardrobe of sweaters and flannels that the sight of you showing so much skin leaves him breathless still.

deciding that you look too good today (youre always beautiful to him), steve gets down from the counter and follows after you. his body aches to be close to yours, his hands itch to trace the exposed skin. but he cant. you arent his, steve still hasnt managed to say the three words that sit inside his chest.

"im sorry, angel. how must i comfort you?" he asks, taking a few books from you instinctively. steve could work an entire shift at bookstrordinary at this point with his eyes closed.

you turn to him, eyes shining. "well, if youre really feeling sympathetic, id happily accept your fathers money for some ice cream-"

"you get free ice cream from me every day."

"with your employee discount. but richard harringtons money? i need it, steve."

"okay, im feeling really used right now-"

the store bell rings and a storm of red hair and giggles interrupt your conversation with steve. the laughter is familiar, the sound a welcomed surprise. immediately you leave steve behind as you rush to the front to greet the girls.

"max! el!" before they can argue, you pull them in for a hug. their skin is damp from sweat, but you dont care. you hardly see the girls these days, theyre always off with the boys or together on their own. while youre happy theyre finally friends, you cant help but miss them.

"hi, y/n." el greets you enthusiastically. her hair is a mess, shes wearing one of hoppers old shirts.

max stands next to her, hair a wild mess of red strands from the humidity. "we got bored," she tells you, eyes already roaming around the store. "you got anything good in here?"

"it depends on what you guys are looking for." you inform her. youve come to learn what everyone in the party enjoys reading. for el, she loves fairy tales, mike and dustin enjoy science fiction, lucas and max prefer more thriller and horror, while will loves fantasy.

steve grabs a handful of books for the girls, hes also come to learn what genre the kids read, and places them on the table. "heres my selection of fine reading."

"and by 'fine reading', he means books i already set aside for you guys." you nudge steve playfully, which the girls giggle at.

"same thing."

el carefully looks through the books, her finger pokes through the titles. while shes still learning how to read, shes slowly able to piece together the names and authors before her. she carefully reads through every title, eyes searching for something. when she doesnt find what shes looking for, she frows. "where is the man insect?"

"man insect?" steve looks at you, confused.

"the one with the webs."

neither max nor steve understand what el is asking, but you realize with excitement what shes referring to. "oh!" ducking down, you grab your personal stash of comics from the counters shelf and place them in front of the girls. "spider-man! here he is."

"that is the one!" el says happily, grabbing the first comic she can reach. "he is an insect."

"yes he is," you nod proudly at her. "ive taught you well."

max flicks through one of the comics with slight interest, shes curious, you can see it. "youve read spider-man with el?"

"yup, we used to read them all the time at the cabin. figured it was easy enough to understand while learning how to read. plus, spidey is the best."

"spider-man is very cool." el agrees.

steve practically melts when he hears this. eyes softening, he leans against you. "thats sickeningly adorable."

"ew, dude." max glares at him, disgusted. "we're right here, you know. go be pathetic somewhere else."

"i... i was here first." steve mumbles, slightly intimidated by the girl.

you laugh at him and place a gentle hand on his arm. "why dont you go write up some shipments for me while i introduce max to the man im going to marry someday?"

"you know peter parker isnt real, right?"

"i know, and it haunts me every day."

max shoves steve away from you, taking his place. "we're having a girls day, get lost."

"what-?"

"sorry, honey." you kiss steves cheek quickly before allowing max and el to tug you away. halfway across the store you shout behind you, "i'll make it up to you later!"

steve is left alone the rest of the day, basically taking over your shift for you. luckily with so few customers coming in these days, it isnt so bad. he mostly spends the day admiring you as you read spider-man to el and max. your eyes are lit up with raw adoration for the storylines and the girls lean into your every word. theyre wrapped around your finger, wound so tightly that theyve become one. while steve resents that peter parker has ruined your day together, he cant help but warm at the idea that the comics have brought the girls to you and have given you a rare, sunny day together.

hes willing to share you with the party if it means the soft, genuine smile that you get only when youre with them never leaves your face.

[lovelykil]

hii so I was wondering i could request (feel free to ignore if you aren’t taking requests) jealous killua hcs but with the twist that his s/o is oblivious and like one of their friends is like openly touchy with them? And they don’t mind it like they don’t realize how wrong it looks until it’s pointed out (THEYRE WHOLESOME I SWEAR THEY JUST DONT GET SOCIAL CUES) and yeah :33 (also when I say openly touchy I mean for like the friend like leans on them and grabs their hands and stuff)

I didn’t realize how long and specific that was 😞🔫

headcanons—

: ➛killua

hc; jealous kil × oblivious s/o

note; nono I love specific requests because my brain is slow 😔 so thank you

there's nothing worse than a jealous ex-assassin dating an oblivious soulmate 💔

he gets soo annoyed at your friends, the way they just cling themselves onto you like nothing.

there was this one time at school— he was walking with Gon during passing period. His hands tucked behind the back of his head, chatting it up with the ravenette beside him.

he was perfectly fine till something grabbed his attention, it was you. But you weren't alone, you were accompanied by a friend.

a FRIEND who apparently doesn't know much about personal SPACE.

"what the hell?!" killua shouts out, stopping in his tracks. He watches this friend of yours walk you to your class with their hand swaying with yours, both seem to be smiling and laughing.

gon turns his attention to where his bestfriend was looking at and stared as well.

"is that y/n?"

"yes and their stupid friend that doesn't respect boundaries." The silverette grumbles.

gon blinks a few times, puzzled at why his friend was so worked up. Gon himself is pretty oblivious as well..

"don't friends hold each other's hand?"

"no."

"killua I'm pretty su-"

"no."

"but kil-"

"I should kill her friend, maybe it will show them a lesson.." he forces his nails to grow, sharp and pointy as his face grows dark.

"NO KILLUA—"

no he doesn't kill your friend.

but he wants too 😒

he gets a little pissed off at you as well to be honest, like how can you not see how weird your friend just touches you openly all the time

and they do it RIGHT in front of his face too. If it weren't for gon being by his side, he would've lost it.

killua is a jealous guy he can't help but feel like you're gonna leave him sometimes, it's sad but true you found out about this jealousy when you guys had your first argument.

It was about your friends..

"what are you talking about killua? Why are you being so mean.."

"your friends are all a bunch of idiots who don't know what SPACE is Y/N, why can't you see that?! It's not normal for another GUY to hold your hand all the time unless it's ME. I don't give a shit if he's your friend it's fucking weird." and so the truth comes out and the dots connect themselves.

he may not have said he was 'jealous' but you knew now it bothered him and he did make some valid points, your guy friend holding or leaning onto you was definitely weird, even your friends that were girls touched you alot but you didn't seem to notice.

you feel bad now, finally understanding why your boyfriend has been so distant and rude to you.

"oh, I'm sorry kil.. I guess I never noticed, I'll make sure to set up some boundaries if that's okay with you?" You grab his hand and hold it with yours, looking up at him.

"It's not your fault.. sorry it's just—" He pauses, looking down at your hand joined with his. He looks back at you.

"your friends suck."

"killua!"

even killua doesn't really hug gon or touch him alot, he's not used to it. Gon will sometimes hug him but he knows not to overdo it.

he's pretty new to relationships so like give him some time to adjust, maybe tell your friend(s) to be a little more appropriate when it comes to touching

[seokmn]

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE

“okay, now look at that couple,” you point your index finger to a couple far away from you and soonyoung “i dont think they’re in love, im not seeing the love in their eyes”

and this is one of your hobbies, going to the park with your best friend to judge and decide if the couples that are having a date are in love or not.

“i dont know, they seem pretty happy together..”, soonyoung says while puts a grape on his mouth, “i think you should start using glasses, i can see from here the lovely way the boy is looking at the girl and how she smiles everytime he says a word”

“nah you tripping, there’s literally no sparkles there!”, you take the grape that the boy is holding and eat it. “i know about love and trust me love is something that is not there”

“maybe theyre not actually in love anymore, maybe now they just love each other in a very fondly way, i don’t exactly know, this line between loving someone and being in love with someone is a little bit confusing to me. but i still think they are in love, it looks like they just got together”

you frown your eyebrows to your best friend who’s still looking at the couple and eating the last grapes. “and what do you know about love”, you laugh and place your hands behind you to have support.

soonyoung stop chewing and look at you with blank eyes, tsking while changing his eyes direction to the blanket you both are sitting, “easy for you to say that, you’re not the one that’s been in love with your best friend for 5 years”

“you what?”

“you heard, yn. i’ve been in love with you for 5 years, i had to see you crushing and dating other people, a bunch of assholes by the way, and guess what? it hurts, it really hurts but still i wasn’t able to get over you and trust me when i say that not only i wanted to but i tried so hard to, so don’t you dare say that i don’t about love when i’ve been loving the same person for so long”

you don’t say a thing, you just look at him with your mouth open, looking pathetic.

“you don’t need to say anything, i just got a little upset with what you said, sorry.. i shouldn’t have said that”

“why did you never tell me that?”

soonyoung shrugs his shoulders, “didn’t want to ruin our friendship and everytime i thought it was the right time to make a move or even confess to you something got in the way”

“i would literally drop everything just to be with you and you’re telling me that you’ve been waiting me for 5 years!? are you crazy?”

“wait.. are you for real?”

“of course i am!” you slap his arm, looking really mad because of the boys confession.

soonyoung places his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and kisses your jaw and your cheek. “then now i won’t let you go and will make sure to remind you everyday that im in love with you”

you rest your head on his shoulder while play with his fingers, the comfortable silence making the moment even better. suddenly he looks at you with a very serious face, leaving you kinda worried about what he has to say.

“but you know, that couple really is in love”

author’s note: heyy @odxrilove i told u i would tag you 🤭

[cottoncandyswisherz]

mine.

this is for @l0akkzz because she said do angst

exbf!chris x trackstar!reader

warnings: angst, kissing, swearing, very very suggestive/damn near smut

lil background info because i dont feel like writing all that: theyre in college and y/n runs track. y/n and chris used to date but they broke up bc chris cheated and y/n started dating chris' teammate but shes miserable. they hooked up a week before the story takes place and the chris told y/n to break up with said ex. savannah is y/ns friend thats trynna get with chris.

-

"why i'm still with him is none of your business. i am none of your fucking business, chris. what happened that night was because we were wasted. you said i could blame you, so this is me blaming you and telling you to leave me the hell alone. "

"but i don't want to. "

"are you a fucking masochist?"

"not usually, no. in fact, some might say i'm the exact opposite, but i'm ready for you to come to your senses."

"have you heard a word i've said? i want nothing to do with you."

"say that again and try to mean it this time." my mouth gets close to hers. i can smell the notes of coconut oil drifting from her hair. i can smell the mint rushing from her lips in fractured breaths. "unless... you can't?"

she glares up at me and there's so much heat beneath that honey in her eyes, but she doesn't push me. not even once.

y/n might lash out, but my mere nearness is causing her a shortness of breath. her chest rises and falls in a quick rhythm.

so i press my chest to hers. firm nipples glue to mine and the thud of her heartbeat slams and mixes with my own.

what the fuck is this girl doing to me?

why on earth can't i keep my hands off her? does she have witch blood? is she made of fucking drugs?

i reach my hand out and grip her throat lightly. barely any pressure. but enough to let her know who's in control.

"you're a fucking nightmare." she mutters, her throat working beneath my fingers.

"your nightmare." "i hate you." "i don't." "you're fucking crazy."

"about you." i whisper against her lips and claim them with a guttural moan.

she doesn't push away. she certainly does not turn her face or look like she's uncomfortable with the attention.

in fact, the exact opposite happens.

her lashes flutter over her cheeks as she groans, and i eat that sound teh fuck up. i eat her the fuck up.

i swallow her whole. teeth clashing, tongues swirling and lips chasing.

god fucking damn it.

i've been fantasizing about his last since last week. every morning, noon, and night. every goddamn second of every fucking day, all i wanted was to have a taste again.

but i didn't want to freak her out or send her running for the hills. i sure as hell don't give two flying fucks about that possibility right now, though.

i soak her all in, exploring, feasting absolutely drowning in her fucking mouth.

she tastes of honey, mint and pending fucking addiction.

i twirl my tongue against hers and i'm rewarded with her hard nips. babydoll kisses me as thoroughly as i kiss her, her fingers tugging on the bottom of my hoodie to keep me glued to her naked torso.

i roll her bottom lips between my teeth and nibble on the skin until she's whimpering, shuddering and fucking shaking against me,

give me more.

more.

fucking more.

i shove my raging erection against her and i can practically feel the heat radiating from her pussy.

she's hot. for me.

again.

"you're so fucking turned on for someone who claims she wants nothing to do with me." i speak against her perfect lips. " you're not drunk now either."

"don't mock me...." she breathes out even as her mouth seems to chase mine. "i would've gotten this way for anyone. it's called a physical reaction."

this fucking- i swear she's asking to be torn apart.

i slide my tongue down her neck and bite her collar bone, hard, then suck just as savagely, giving her back the hickey she hid for a whole week.

"stop it..." she grunts, shoving her hand against my chest.

only, she put not actual strength behind it.

i trail a path of bites to where her collarbone meets her chest. i pull her bra off, then i scrape my my teeth of her nipples.

she spits out the most erotic moan i've ever heard, and i jam two of my fingers down in her mouth then spread them against his tongue.

i need her to stop fucking talking and ruining every moment with her damn mouth.

my tongue swirls around her brown areola, then i tug the nipple between my teeth, sucking and biting until all i hear are the muffled noises spilling from her stuffed mouth.

"you like this don't you?" i move to the other nipple, sucking the skin around it, leaving a huge hickey before i bite down on the little bud. "you look perfect marked by me. my own piece of fucking art."

one of her hands is on my shoulder, pushing me away, but the other is in my hair, pulling me close.

she's a fucking conundrum, my babydoll, and i can't wait to break her into fucking pieces.

her body is stiff against me, but her tongue swirls around my fingers, and her teeth bite down whenever i nibble on her nipple.

i'm so drunk on her and her taste. so addicted to how responsive she is.

i can't fucking get enough.

not after one lick or two or a thousand. i want to throw her down and feast on her properly. i want to watch her shudder and whine and moan as i kiss every inch of her gorgeous skin.

i doubt she'd be thrilled with that idea, so i'll take what i can get.

my mouth leaves bites and marks all over her chest before i slide my tongue back to her jaw.

"you taste like my new favorite addiction baby."

she whines against my fingers and i remove them, so i can hear her intoxicating voice.

"you infuriate me." she tries to push against me, but i slam my hands against the locker on either side of her head, once again shoving my chest against hers. i'm so close. i can see that fire burning in her eyes.

more.

i smirk, staring down at her puffed out lips. "someone's mad."

"fuck you."

"baby, you know i love it when you talk dirty to me."

she grabs me by the throat, her nails digging ruthlessly into the sides. "you need to stay the hell away from me."

"no." i try to step closer and she tightens her grip until i can barely breathe. my lungs burn, and i can feel the veins in my neck bulging.

"i'm going to fucking kill you."

"mmm. i love it when you get rough."

"you think i'm joking?" her short acrylics sink into my skin.

"tell me more. your mouth makes me so fucking hard." i roll my hips and slam them against her again,

and fuck.

fuck me.

"i can feel your pussy though your shorts. you're wet babydoll. if i touch you, will i find you dripping for me?"

"you fucking-" she cuts her own self off and her fingers compress so hard they shake.

she's shaking. my babydoll, losing her precious control one layer at a time.

and what do i do?

trap her between my teeth and never let go. of course.

"you can fight me, can choke the life out of me, but that won't stop you from wanting me," i strain and wrap my hand around her throat on the hickey that's beginning to re-form. "you came here to stop me from fucking savannah. you weren't mad for her, you were mad at her. you didn't like the way she touched me, right?"

"shut up."

"you're pissed off at me because i let her touch me?"

that beautiful rage shines behind her eyes. but then she says the exact opposite of what she's thinking. "why would i care what you do?"

"always playing a role, doll. hiding, pretending. you broke up with him tonight? why didn't you tell me that?"

"how..?"

"he told me he was going through a breakup and was looking to forget during practice this morning." i try to get my head closer but she keeps me in place with her unyielding hold. "you did it for me, didn't you? you lost him because i told you to. no. you did it because you wanted to be with me. because you know i'm the only one who can give you what you need."

"stop dreaming."

"stop fucking pretending." i remove the band-aid on her thigh, revealing only tattoo she only kept hidden. my fucking name in black cursive letters. "stop hiding."

she shakes her head, but her fingers loosen around my throat. y/n isn't weak. sure, i'm bigger, but she has strength. the reason she let me touch her pervious times isn't because she couldn't stop me. it's because she chose not to stop me.

like right now.

her war for control breaks like ice beneath her feet.

i'm the lake waiting to swallow her.

my fingers spread on her sharp jaw, my lips an inch from hers.

"dont...." she whispers and it's shaky, breathless.

she clearly wants me. she's burning for it. her body language gives her away. eyes darkening, nostrils flaring, and fingers holding my neck so lovingly (though she'd argue otherwise).

but she's still fighting tooth and nail, still refusing to admit the inevitable.

"wanna blame me again?" i murmur against her skin.

a puff of air leaves her mouth and she nods once.

"then blame me all you want, baby."

i slam my lips to hers, taking what's mine.

because she is.

mine.

niyah speaks i hate this.

taglist: @mattslolita @mattssluttygf @muwapsturniolo @zniyadgaf

[sturniolo04]

The Confession 2 C.S.

Fwb!Mean!Chris x Fwb!Fem!Reader

A/N: I tried something different :)

*Really long you have been warned.

we finally met up with the triplets at some outdoor shopping plaza to hang out and ever since having that conversation with Madi and confronting  her about matt it kind of made me feel relieved a little because i have been best friends with madi for a while now we pretty much know almost everything about each other like i know how down bad madi is for Matt and how she literally is the bestest friend anyone can ask for so me feeling this way about someone that she is extremely close with feels wrong especially since he has no feelings for me what so ever and of course i could never tell madi this because it would force me to come between something that could literally mess everything up.. 

"hey you okay"

he asks jess interrupting her thoughts

"yeah why do you ask"

"you seem stressed out about something"

"no why would i be stressed i mean i tell you guys everything"

you state rather quickly

"okayy anyway should we spy on Matt and madi they have been acting extra weird lately"

"like in a good way or bad way"

"i dont know thats why we should find out"

"oh my god nick my mom is in town for fucks sake we dont need anything to go down while she is here lets just enjoy our time okay"

you huff out chuckling at your best friend

"what ever you say"

he replies walking off to catch up with madi and Matt as Chris catches up to jess places his arm around her over her shoulder as she slightly jumps at the sudden contact

"did i scare you"

he chuckles

"no you scare me never"

"okaayy well you like jumping ten feet says otherwise"

"shut up chris"

you state smacking him playfully in the stomach as he pretends to be hurt from that minor attack

"how are you doing"

you state looking at matt and madi walking rather quickly leaving behind nick and your mom

"oh im fine totally fine"

"you dont have to lie"

you state looking up at him 

"im not i was being stupid yesterday madi and matt belong to together"

he replies making eye contact with you

"okay then"

you says quickly breaking eye contact with him getting nervous as you look up to see that matt and madi disappeared

"what the fuck where did they go"

"they'll be back eventually its madi and matt theyre probably just being weird"

"hey you two where do you guys want to eat dinner i didnt realize i have to head back to LA tonight and couldnt track down madi to let her know"

"umm its up to you since you are visiting where do you want eat"

you state subconsciously grabbing chris' hand seeing his arm is still around over your shoulder

"no seriously its up to you guys"

  "we could just go to Mcdonalds" 

"thats fine" 

"oh and madi went to the bathroom"

"with matt"

she asks confused to why they would go together

"okay then we will just wait for them i guess i cant leave without saying goodbye"

"no of course not"

you state as nick finally makes eye contact with you and chris' hands joined together thinking:

"holy shit i am just now realizing it. Jess is totally crushing on chris! it make sense as to why she has been acting weird i mean she had been acting kind of weird since everything last night but i didnt realize it till now she's literally comfortably holding his hand right now and may not even fully realize it holy shit"

"okay matt come on"

she giggles out as Matt slightly backs her into a wall proceeding to make out with her which they previously were doing

"what no one is going to catch us here"

he says looking around and leaning back in as she wraps her arms around his torso allowing him to kiss her again then pull away

"okay but jess' mom and jess are already suspicous so we cant be doing this right now while she is still in town"

she complains as he proceeds to kiss her neck lightly

"okay fine"

he sighs pulling away from her completely as her phone goes off

"her mom says she leaving tonight we have to go"

"okay but first"

he trails off pulling her in one more time into his lips

" what the fuck"

he exclaims as they both look towards him

"nick its not what it looks like"

"well it looked like you and my triplet brother were swapping saliva madi"

he complains

"okay so maybe"

she trails off

"are you two dating then"

"uhh yeah"

he trails on looking at madi

"dont tell chris or jess"

"oh im not saying anything how are you going to tell chris madi"

"he said he was fine with it and that he was joking'

trails off looking at her feet

"are you mad"

"what no madi youre my best friend im happy for you whatever you decide okay"

he says bringing her into a hug

"but for real jess and her mom is ready to go eat and pack her stuff up to leave"

"okay lets go then"

she states as matt grabs her hand walking back to the parking lot

we walk back to the parking lot and before we could fully make it into the parking lot i saw Jess literally fawning over chris Madi could see from a mile away and she didnt know how to feel to be honest

"no way"

"so you see it too its not just me"

"see what"

she states oblivious

"jess and chris"

"oh hm whatever"

"whatever you mean you dont feel any way about at all"

"i mean no its not-"

"oh my god there you guys are you ready to go"

"yeah uh is it okay if i ride with Matt"

"uh sure sweetie thats fine i think jess is riding with me i guess do you want me to ask her if she wants to join you"

"no i mean no its okay"

"i'll see you guys back at the house"

"yeah"

she replies softly as she walks back to matt's car

"wow youre totally uncomfortable about all of this arent you"

"what no nic shut up im sitting up front with matt"

she states abruptly walking to the van with matt following her

"hey are you-"

you trail off as madi walks over to the van climbing in the front seat with matt on the drivers side

"that was weird do want me to ride with you then since she claimed my spot next to matt"

he asks looking at jess still focused on madi's facial expression

"uh i mean you dont have to if you dont want to" 

you state moving away from him a little to get in the car you were standing next to 

"ill come with we are all going to the same place anyway"

"okay cool we ready to go"

"um yeah i guess"

you reply quietly as chris sits oddly close to you

"matt said we could go back to the house they are going to pick up food" 

he states as he turns off his phone

"okay then to the house it is"

she states proceeding to pull out of the parking lot

"you okay jess"

"huh yeah its whatever"

"you sure you seem bothered"

"no im not i just nevermind"

you trail off keeping your feelings to yourself seeing that madi already is mad about something

"okay question"

she trails off as chris and jess look up

"are matt and madi you know actually"

"i dont think so at least they havent said anything if they were or not"

"i dont think they are but they are acting really weird"

"almost as weird as your acting jess whats up"

"nothing chris even if i wanted to tell you i couldnt okay"

 you huff out opening your phone distracting yourself

madi honestly didnt know why the whole chris and jess thing set her off so much i mean matt is apparently her boyfriend now so she shouldnt be mad about it although she couldnt shake the feeling of the fact jess literally hasnt thought to bring up any feelings she might even have for chris to her. we were sitting in the mcdonalds drive thru waiting for the food as madi was completely zoned out in thought

"helllo madi"

"earth to madison"

"hmm"

"your upset arent you"

"what no i mean i dont know what i feel honestly im not jealous im not mad at her"

"but you completely ignored her"

"because i dont know what to say 'oh hey jess you totally like chris you were basically fawning over him in the parking lot' like no"

she states shaking her head and turning to make eye contact with the two boys in the car with her

"just talk to her its probably not even what you think"

"nooo"

"what do you mean no nic jess is little like a little sister to us you know that"

"she was acting really weird this whole weekend i just didnt say anything because you know its jess"

"again why didnt she feel like she could tell me this"

"again maybe just ask her you two are really close she probably had her reasons"

he states looking at madi then matt

"so yall are dating now then it finally happened"

"yeah matt i guess we are dating apparently now"

she says raising her eyebrow at the boy

"yeah we are"

he states passing her the drink she order with the words 'will you be my girlfriend' written on the cup

"oh my god matt" 

"what"

he states looking at what she is looking at

"oh my god thats so cute" 

"yes matt i would love to be you girlfriend"

she states placing the cup in the cupholder in the car kissing matts cheek as he began to leave the drive thru to head home.

We have been back at the house for a while waiting the food to get here and i have been staying away or rather avoiding Chris. Have you guessed the secret i have been keeping if it hasnt already been obvious which is probably why madi is mad at me currently well i dont know if thats why she mad and ignoring me and im just getting my head too much. i was currently upstairs pacing in madi's room waiting for her come back as soon as i heard the door open slightly to her room i hoped it was her

"are you okay"

"chrisss"

"what i was just checking in on you you have been up here for a while"

"i thought you were madi"

"okay seriously jess sit" 

he states as she does so on madi's bean bag in her room him sitting next to her

"whats going on with you are you upset that madi ignored you just talk to her"

he states looking at jess as she maintained eye contact with her nails

"well no"

you trail off

"what is it then"

he asks looking at you next to him

"the problem is you chris" 

you exclaim as he looked confused

"you are my problem chris"

"wh-what how am i your problem"

"its nothing nevermind"

you state getting in her head again getting up off of the bean bag going downstairs to be met with finally

"jess we need to talk"

 she states quietly as you nod your head as she grabs your hand leading me out the door to the driveway

"Jess listen you know you can tell me anything i mean it i wont get mad at you"

" i know i just feel like a bad friend if i told you what i have been keeping from you"

"what is it j"

"i-i"

you trail off as your mom walks out

"hey you two.. are you guys okay"

she states noticing tears and facial expressions as she walks over and gives them both a hug as jess breaks eye contact with madi and regaining it as your mom does the same thing

"Madi.. i like Chris"

"wh-what you like chris "

she repeats as she finally looks up at her after maintaining eye contact with the ground

"yeah"

"wow"

"how how long"

"umm the whole time"

  "and you didnt tell me jess why"

"i just i dont know i saw you and how you and chris were acting before he confessed to you and i just knew he wouldnt like me like that im like their little sister which hurts so bad"

you state truthfully breaking down in tears

"aww jess"

she says bringing you into a hug as you bawls your eyes out into her shoulder as she rubs your back

"are you mad madi"

"no jess i was just hurt you couldnt feel like you could tell me that  i saw you in the parking lot with chris i knew" 

she giggles a little

"plus im dating matt"

"wait"

"what i just asked if you were"

"yeah"

  "thats amazing so"

"he's all yours"

she states referring to chris

"but i cant tell him even after knowing him for at least a year now before we moved to boston i still get nervous"

"is it the blue eyes that make you nervous"

she giggles knowing she still cant maintain eye contact with Matt because of that

"yeah"

you giggle out

"well sweetie you tell him when the time is right and that time will come"

she states kissing both jess's and madi's forehead

"well i hate to be the bearer of bad news"

jess looks up at her

"youre leaving"

you sigh out

"i know love bug i will be back eventually for what its worth i loved visiting you and meeting your new friends and reuniting with your olds ones"

she trails off referring to Madi giving her a side hug

"okay bye loves"

 she states pulling away from the girls getting in her car driving away.

Taglist

@dirtylittleheart333 @mintsturniolo @spicymuffins03 @stayingstromboli @emely9274 @wh0resstuff

[ender--slime]

long post about the 10/8 update incoming!!!!!!!

ok i dont usually post my thoughts on updates bwcause im the number one adhd rambler of all time but here we go.. you get to read them today!!!!!!! SO. one of my big HSBC theories is that Ult Rose is actually the mastermind of sorts behind the whole story. not in an evil way, because dirk isnt even evil, just in the way that she knows a lot more than shes letting on!!! and that dirk and al might not be the only ones with real influence here. this theory was first thought up by my friend @classpectpokerap and its called the "Gloves are Canon" theory and you can read about it more in-depth here and here! as a fun challenge go back and read the epilogues and early hs2 (and also new updates) with the idea that rose knows more than we think. youll get some really fun stuff out of it and hopefully youll be convinced :p

SO ANYWAYS. how does this concern the 10/8 anniversary update?

HOO BOY

first of all, lets get a few content warnings and things outta the way. this lil analysis is gonna talk about some suicidal characters and suicidal ideation so plz !! be warned!!

first off, we know that Ult Dirk is really just afraid. hes not scary or intimidating at all, to the reader, because he killed himself in one timeline and hes really just trying to do it again. he even says this in the epilogues- that he hopes his death is Just when it comes, and he hopes its dave that does it. dirk feels as though he doesnt belong- hes always felt this way. he thinks the world and his friends would be better off without him, and his last gift to them is to create a new universe where they can start fresh outside of lord english's influence for good. he might be the most obnoxious narrator on earth c, claiming that he knows whats best and that hes doing right by everyone and by you, as the reader. but the TAGLINE of the epilogues are "tales of dubious authenticity". it tells you from the start that youre dealing with the worlds most unreliable narrator here. a guy who says one thing, says hes fine, puts on a mask to make himself seem stronger, but is always harboring the most pain. who also thinks this way?

rose fuckin lalonde!!!!! this isnt just beyond canon either. try and count how many times she did some suicide mission shit in og homestuck. and how non chalant she was about every single one. this character trait stuck around, and its especially clear in the 10/8 update.

and who does she reference, saying that he made the right choice to kill himself?

bam. this miserable motherfucker wants Out.

notice how she doesnt say "kill himself". she says LEAVE. as if she knows ult dirk is in the other timeline, alive and well. as if she knows that she could have done that too. made the right choice. the canon choice.

but what does that mean, in terms of Gloves are Canon? well, if you read the gloves are canon theory part 2, it states how at the beginning of candy, rose's ult self visions completely went away supposedly, but by the time HSBC picked up last year, theyre back...and worse?

how? its only been a few days, in universe.

was she lying about them being gone? is it the influence of having the Light, the Narrative, the Eyes of the Reader back on her now that the comic is going again? was she ulted the whole time just like dirk and we dont know it?

to the reader, the rosemary breakup in both timelines was a destruction of rose's character. but to rose.....its what she thinks kanaya deserves. rose thinks kanaya deserves a life without her. rose thinks shes BETTER OFF without her. and maybe deep down she thinks the whole timeline, and the whole universe, is better off without her too.

just like ult dirk.

i have a lot of thoughts on the other two parts of the update, but i wanted to focus on the concept of ult rose with this post because. god. idk her whole section was so potent and not only confirmed my theory, but just made me feel sick!! /pos

[ultimateloserboy]

I’ve been holding back this ramble forever but the food episode makes me tear up and i NEED to talk about it.

The food episode was the only episode I really couldn’t watch as a kid. I remember being horrified by it. to this day i still feel uneasy thinking about it, even though it doesn’t scare me in the slightest anymore. the reason i feel uneasy now isnt because im scared, its because to me its the saddest episode of the whole series and makes me want to punch walls. when i was younger i didnt notice a lot of the things ive noticed now, and every time i watch the episode i notice even more.

a lot of people talk about this episode as if red guy ran away and wants nothing to do with the house, that he’s trying to save the other two by bringing them to his world. while i dont think this is a wrong or bad interpretation, considering it’s understandable, id like to talk about my own interpretation. i dont think red guy even knew how he left. keep in mind he just exploded and then woke up in an office. there’s absolutely nothing suggesting he ran away on purpose. all he wanted was for colin to shut up, he wasnt intending to find the room he found. this itself isnt an interpretation, its a fact, BUT how he feels about it and what he does in the red guy world is completely up to interpretation! mine is that he wants to go home instead of trying to get the other two out of it. lemme explain ok hear me out:

throughout the entire food episode red guy is constantly popping up in the background somewhere. hes drawn behind windows and his head is in the microwave in one shot. when duck knocks the camera over for a split second you can even see his legs as it falls. the leg thing is what really got me, because most other times he was simply drawn. but those were his actual legs standing in the kitchen. to me it represents the fact that he isnt actually there but is “haunting” the other two. they dont really remember him but they can see him out of the corners of their eyes. hes blurry and far away but they KNOW someone is there (or WAS there, i should say). but on his end i think it could represent how hes still there in his head, how hes still singing songs and shit like that despite being out of that world. he says he hated that world, that hes allergic to music, but now that hes gone from it its stuck in his head. he misses the music. he misses his friends. hes still there in spirit.

before i continue id just like to say that, no, the main three INCLUDING RED GUY dont always want to leave the house. especially when they have to leave the others behind. whenever theyre off somewhere they usually want to go back home, yellow guy even said “i want to go home” word for word once. but he also said “no more songs” these things can exist at the same time guys. they can not want to drown in oil but still want to live in their house, yall realize that right? thats a huge theme in the show, that the house and the main three have a very complicated relationship. they dont want to leave their home they just want it to, yaknow, NOT EAT THEM. so i think red guy wanting to come home isnt at all out of character. and he doesnt like the red guy world anyway, why would he take his friends there when theyre wacky as shit and wouldnt fit in there or enjoy it at all? also id like to make the point that he doesnt know what’s happening in the house (at least not the seriousness of it) until he sees the machine. so him trying to save the other two from getting munched makes no sense to me personally. AGAIN THO THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION!! YOURS IS VALID TOO AND I LOVE YOU!!!

But anyway continuing on, ducks reaction especially makes me insane. whenever i see how duck acts in episodes like “jobs” when he starts freaking out and trying to get the first aid kit for yellow guy im reminded of this episode. duck really does love his friends at heart. he doesnt want to leave the house, he sees no point, but to me the reason he doesnt want to leave is BECAUSE of his friends (or at least one of the reasons). in the tv series duck has a whole argument with red guy about leaving, and while some people say this duck is different than webseries duck i have to disagree. i think duck wouldve always argued about staying, but i also think hed always want to leave if red guy did. duck always switches up as soon as something is “wrong”. he always wants to stay until one of his friends is acting weird/hurt/missing and then suddenly the world isnt right and he doesnt want to be there. not only that but he will do everything in his power to fight against the things keeping him from his friends or hurting them, even if it means risking his own life. he knew some weird shit was going on every time he answered the phone, but despite that he continued answering anyway. he interrupted the songs and pushed things away and kept running to the phone, being disobedient and not giving a damn. this isnt unusual for duck, but it makes me especially ill, because he acts very confused as well. hes very upset, not mad like he usually is but genuinely upset and worried. most likely because of how hazy his memory is. my favorite scene of the series is when he pushes over the camera and says “i dont want to do this anymore” it rips my heart apart hes just like me fr. it also comes back to the transport episode, where hes like “well the song wasnt that great but at least it was funny. nobody gets TOO hurt by these songs and stuff so who cares? why leave?” i think hes always thought this way, the reason he says “i dont want to do this ANYMORE” is because suddenly the world has shifted. suddenly things are much more sinister and make even less sense. suddenly he is in genuine danger, and he isnt coming back this time. things have gone too far now, and he tries tearing down reality itself to get out, but unfortunately hes just not strong enough.

i also like to think that the food is singing about red guy the whole time, not actually food, and how he deserves punishment, and if you end up like him youll be punished too (which is exactly what happens to duck for answering the phone) “the bad, not-healthy foods are very rude! and must leave through the catflap!” isnt that what red guy did? he wandered too far and saw what he shouldnt have so he was sent away. also the steak says “you need to know whats right from wrong” which doesnt go with the rest of the song at all and seems to be directed at duck specifically. it seems more like theyre trying to keep duck and yellow guy in line rather than teach them about food. when they say “you shouldnt eat food from a strangers plate” considering the previous lyrics and the context before the chanting i think theyre talking about not believing what youre told by “strangers” (aka the non-teacher characters) theyre saying not to listen to whatever red guy is trying to say, to not answer the phone, to not end up like him. or at least thats what i think anyway.

lastly, the ending. yellow guy sitting in the kitchen alone, in the dark, covered in blood while the phone loudly rings is probably the most haunting part of the series to me. remember what i said about not being scared? well i LIED. this scene specifically still scares the fuck out of me. it fills me with genuinely painful dread. the scene where he looks over at the phone, hearing it but not getting up to answer it and letting it ring until red guy gives up is heartbreaking. im not sure if yellow guy even knows what’s happening in this scene, but hes been taught by now to NOT ANSWER THE PHONE. so he doesnt. and the teachers leave him alone with the phone because theyre confident he wont answer it. and theyre right. it breaks my heart just looking at it. in the next episode he ends up fighting back just like duck did, but just like duck, he cant truly do anything. it really puts into perspective how powerless all three of them are. god it ruins me. all they wanted was to know what the biggest thing in the world was, and now theyve been torn apart for wandering too far. cries and sobs

[turnin9pag3]

i say that i am going to kill myself and im not even sure if i am joking or not anymore. because my mustles are weak and i feel my bones creak every time i stand. and i look in the mirror and im not sure i like who is staring back at me. i hate my face. i hate my body. i hate my hair. i hate that my nose is too big and my lips are too small. i hate that my teeth r too yellow and crooked and my face is too red and pimpled. i hate that my eyes are too dark and my eyebrows are too light. i hate that i hate everything about how i look but i cant fix it because wearing makeup feels like playing dress up and i dont even know who i am anymore. i want to be human but i think im well past the point of humanity. i am untouchable to all but myself yet your mind is your own biggest critic. so i hate myself and tell everyone i dont because i dont know what to think.

so i say i am going to kill myself and i can no longer recognize the humor in a statement that feels so true. though i guess it has to be false because the sad truth is i simply do not have the guts. it has been like this for as long as i can remember and nothing has changed yet here i am so i don’t see myself leaving anytime soon even if i wish i could.

i remember being 10 years hidden behind the washer in my laundry room with a rag in my mouth attempting to muffle the sobs. i remember walking to my room after like nothing happened and no one ever questioned it. i remember writing a letter to my mother explaining how i was scared about how terrible i felt because it felt like it would never end. i was scared she would be mad at me if i told her. she would not have but the young mind thinks irrationally and i did not know what was happening to me. it is 5 years later and i still feel like that little girl hunched over and gagged by her own hand behind the washer, hiding from the family that made her feel like this. half a decade later and i still want to send that letter but its been too long and im too old to feel so helpless and im too smart to feel so sad and im too pretty to feel so ugly and i have too much potential to be wasted because i felt a little bad. that little girl has grown and wasted away and its too late.

so i tell people i am going to kill myself and no i dont really mean it. but dont i?

because i can see myself gaining weight and i am nothing special. because there are people smarter than me everywhere and i cant bare to pick up a book anymore. because i talk too much and i know im annoying but all i want to do is speak to you and you cant stand to text me back. im over eager and over chalant. i care too much but i will never care enough. i am an enigma to myself and i hate myself. yet i have never loved anyone more.

“you are an artist, and your mind dont work the way you want it to.”

if someone asked me who my best friend is i would say myself and my mind. if someone asked me who my worst enemy is my answer would not change. some may call that contradicting and maybe theyre right. or maybe they have never experienced my brain and they will never know the true beauty of hating yourself.

so if you ask me i will tell you that yes i want to kill myself without an ounce of humor. yet if you were to ask about the execution i would walk away laughing.

i want to kill myself but im weak and i wouldnt be able to stomach it. the bile rises in my throat as i hold the knife to it and it falls with my tears to the floor. at the end of the day i am still nothing but a little girl sobbing in a heap on the floor, jaw clamped around a rag, with a tear-soaked letter of self hatred crumpled next to her.

the only difference is now i am old and the letter is a suicide note i will never post because i will never need it.

i said i was going to kill myself and i meant it. but i did not mean physically for i am already long dead in every way but this one.

[homoeroticbetrayal]

Iconic Homoerotic Betrayal: Round 1

Round 1 Directory

Context (they're really good very passionate):

Nagi/Reo (Blue Lock)

basicallt bluelock is a soccer program being funded by the soccer association (i swear i know soccer im tryna speed through this) theyre tryna make it so japan wins the world cup and to do so you need a strong striker. so they gathered all the young adults (hs graduates) and put them in this program, which, if you're eliminated, you dont have a career in soccer at ALL. they didnt know this walking into it :p. so reo and nagi met in school and reo saw him (rich kid, gets what he wants but doesnt really know what he wants yk) and said that he has to have him. or....... something. anyways, reo needed someone to learn soccer with and he chose the most antisocial sleepy guy on campus. and then proceeded to be an absolute simp (theres a scene he literally massages his back.) he also has canonically called nagi "good boy" (nagi said "yes boss" to him as well) context for the specfic betrayal was the game required them to be in teams of 3 and this is after reo and nagi's previous team of like 8-10 lost to isagi's team. reo and nagi said that they were going to go to win the world cup together. thats always been their promise. (theyve known each other for half a year i think. which is a short amount of time to be so attached LMAO.)

they also have a second betrayal which is honestly worse than this one, and reo's team loses to isagi/nagi's team and nagi tells him he's done with reo.

its a common theme of nagi never picking reo btw. reo was upset after the game because after you win a mtach you pick someone from the losing team to advance with and NAGI DIDNT ADVOCATE FOR REO HARD ENOUGH I GUESS AND ISAGI TOLD THEM ALL THAT THE BEST CHOICE WAS CHIGIRI. so they had another homoerotic fight that im never getting over. hope this meets ur criteria. they're in their exes era. its slightly better tho because nagi does feel bad/sorry for what he said.

(Other anon, I'll include your essay if they make it into the next round)

Geto/Gojo

"He was my friend, my one and only" ultrapowerful, one tried for it one born with it bitches but the twist is one was so consumed by the twisted horrible nature of humanity he went all Magneto but a lot more murderous while the other one only stays nonmurderous because he believes in changing the system by training the next generation. You don't understand he spared him, you don't understand, Gojo's devastation of knowing that he didn't do anything to help him as he slowly literally ate and ate and ate hate and pain to protect people that didn't protect his own. The devastation of knowing that there was nothing else to say nothing to do no way to help him bring him back he'd changed into someone he understood but simply couldn't support. Geto's betrayal, leaving everything and everyone behind because their way not only wasn't working but it was protecting those who wouldn't protect them. Geto laughed for the first time in ten years after all this when Gojo said something to him , the moment before he (Gojo) killed him, carried his body, refused to have it burned. Geto gets basically possessed and when Gojo sees not!him for the first time he freezes and gets captured, Geto almost breaks the possession momentarily whe he hears his name , he doesn't, Gojo gets captured, Geto is stuck, cursed , dead.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

diplomats son by vampire weekend is lowkey sirius/barty though(i forget the shipname)

HI okay idk why i havent answered this. YES SO TRUE !!!

the meanings r frm genius so if im wrong im not dumb its their fault ><

it's not right, but it's now or never / and if i wait, could i ever forgive myself? - 'it's not right' for bcjr cd mean internalized homophobia n for sirius internalized homophobia + hooking up w a nazi but like this is a once in a life time opportunity and whoo is giving that up bfr

cause I'm gonna cut it where i can / and then i'm gonna duck out behind them - "sex w no strings attached" ... or is it ??? "im gna fuck off when im done w you" but like you cant ghh ,,, and like the behind them part too like its v secretive-ish -

if i ever had a chance it's now then / but i never had the feeling i could offer that to you - they r insecure boys <33 !!! they both feel so strongly about one another yet can't reciprocate it

to offer to you would be so cruel / when all i want to do is use, use you - this. this is deathstar at its finest right here. its fucked up enough that they both know how they only want the other to use them - for sex, to shed emotional baggage, to get their aggression out, to fight to whatevr but they offer the smallest kindness which is not letting the other in fully ever bcz what they think is love rn will then definitely turn into love (but like their own fucked up ver of love)

he was a diplomat's son, it was '81 - self explanatory i fear,

with my car keys hidden in the kitchen - okay genius says this is abt getting some1 drunk and raping them but um !!! i will . i will choose to ignore that bc that lowk doesnt make sense,

and the sight of your two shoes sitting in the bathtub / let me know that i shouldn't give up just yet - rare soft deathstar?? aw theyre in love !! :3 (or they killed someone idk)

'cause i'm gonna take it from simon / and then i'm gonna duck out behind them / if i ever had a chance it's now then / but i never had the feeling i could offer that to you / to offer it to you would be cruel / when all i want to do is use, use you - okay so according to genius + my brain is that simon (sirius!) is a friend (wellll not in deathstar context , but in the context of the song (i think)) and 'it' is sex? i think virginity but like nawr not here. so like if deathstar were ever friends this goes crazy bc barty (the one saying this) is like omg ive wanted to sleep w him for so long and now im realizing that i might be able to do it ??? + sexually incompetent barty is lowk a treasure to me soo.. and yeah then theres a little bit more guilt where bartys like i dont want HIM i want to sleep with him , i want to use him ! ofc sirius is just as apathetic and detached as barty is but barty doesnt know that !

i know, you'll say i'm not doing it right / but this is how i want it / i can't go back to how i felt before, there's / that night i smoked a joint with my best friend / we found ourselves in bed, when i woke up, he was gone - okay !! i've been thinking abt this in sirius pov . like post-deathstar w whoever he's with he's used to it (it=sex) being painful and quick and dirty and it's how he's used to it, how he wants it. 'before' is all the quick dangerous pleasure he felt with barty and the night he smoked a joint with his best friend which is JAMESS <333 because PRONGSFOOT <3333333 but i fear this may have been unrequited .... because sirius woke up alone ,,, which could have been the reason he strayed along outside of his social circle in the first place . on the other hand i like this in bartys pov where the not doing it right is sirius telling him how to fuck because kjskg its funni, . the best friend is sirius because ouchers !! angst ^^ !!! sirius wakes up and he's been thinking about leaving this toxic thing he has w barty for a while now but he decides if he doesnt leave now he never will (+ barty is obsessiveee he will nawt let sirius go.) so he leaves wo explaining anything to barty at all

looking out at the ice-cold water all around me / i can't feel any traces of that other place / in the dark, when the wind comes racing off the river / there's a car all black with diplomatic plates - post deathstar , both sides ? unhealthy coping mechanisms core they dont want to be back with one another but they cant exist alone . they remember each other forevr <3

[stevie-petey]

Hey m! I know you're writing a bonus chapter right now (which I'm so excited for!!!) but I had a blurb idea of you're still doing em. When the Byers move and after all the goodbyes are said. Jonathan's pov driving away from bug and all these emotions and memories coming back. Maybe a little insight on some of the conflicted feelings about bug because we know there's a little something brewing there. Or maybe not and I'm just delusional and in love with Jonathan who knows.

anon i am also in love with jonathan and ur not at all delusional <333 everything is intentional !!

enjoy !

"'come again soon'," will reads aloud the hawkins sign, the goodbye it bids to its visitors. except will had never been a visitor, he had grown up in this town his entire life. will shakes his head, he cant believe theyre really leaving. "think we ever will come back here?"

jonathan eyes dont leave the road. he refuses to look at the sign they pass. he doesnt look back in his mirror to watch it fade into the distance. he has to look forward. look ahead. not back.

"sure, yeah." he responds to his brother. like will, jonathan also cant believe theyre really leaving. this is where they grew up, and the horrors they faced cant erase that. "i mean, hawkins is our home, ya know?"

home. jonathan knows that the word is your favorite within the english language. for a long time, he didnt understand how it could be. it was just a house. just four walls and a roof.

then, one day, jonathan understood.

will nods, he doesnt say anything else. instead, he turns to watch the landscape fly past his window. the radio in the car has one of jonathans tapes playing softly. neither boy speaks. the memories each of them posses settle in the car. they get lost in their own thoughts.

jonathan thinks about nancy. their kiss goodbye still lingers on his lips. with every mile he drives, he can feel the distance between them grow and the tension within his chest tighten. jonathan loves her with such a ferocity that terrifies him. hes weak for nancy. she guides him, steadies him, and he doesnt know what hes going to do without her.

no one has ever understood how nancy and jonathan fell for one another. not even you, despite how well you know them both.

if hes being honest, jonathan doesnt quite understand how it happened, either. all he knows is that one day nancy walked into his life and everything sharpened. his senses were heightened.

loving nancy wheeler was like walking into a thunder storm knowing the lightning will kiss your skin instead of singeing it.

to love nancy wheeler was to be invincible. she makes jonathan braver, more cunning, she pushes him to be better. to be bolder. she would never let him drown in his own silence.

but this love is also rough, it is hard with edges that sometimes puncture jonathans skin. everything to nancy is a challenge. its how she views the world; its how she views everything around her.

suddenly the tape pauses, changes to the next song, and the soft beginning notes of these days by the cure plays.

jonathan smiles.

he discovered the song when he had been laying on his bedroom floor with you next to him. his dad had left behind old tapes. you showed up on the byers doorstep as you always did, and that day had been one of jonathans quiet days. they happened sometimes, following the divorce.

you never asked why, or for jonathan to speak when he didnt want to. never had you ever pushed him. instead you laid next to jonathan on the floor and listened to music together. your hair tickled his face, your hand skimmed his, and jonathan breathed in the scent of his best friend.

the song floated through the room. you seemed to like it, jonathan remembers you closing your eyes and humming along to it. from the very beginning of your relationship, jonathan knew that music was something you didnt want to talk about. it was something that was only yours, and he never pushed you. the acceptance went both ways.

as you were humming, jonathan turned his head to face you. his breath had caught in his chest, he felt as if he had been knocked down. the afternoon suns rays painted your face, illuminating you. the yellow gold of the light made you look like a marble statue jonathan had learned about in class last year. angelic, soft, a work of art.

jonathan knew he loved you the day you called his name on weathertop hill. the dandelions had framed your face, caught in your hair, and the yellow ones danced around your ankles. your smile had been the same as it is now, a year later and still just as delicate.

loving you was soft, easy. for jonathan, loving you was something he didnt know how to not do. sometimes it felt like he was born to love you, to understand the complexities behind your eyes and the hurt you masked. just as you do for him.

it strikes jonathan then, how differently he loves you and nancy.

for you, love is safe, warm, familiar.

for nancy, love is complex, gritty, all encompassing.

and now jonathan will be thousands of miles apart from the two of you.

nancy has always loved a challenge. youve always loved familiarity.

jonathan wonders how this will end.

[royal-songbird]

JUST FINISHED LISTENING TO THE NEW CRANE WIVES ALBUM. HOOOOOOLY SHIT. THAT WAS INCREDIBLE. time to ramble about each song because i can <3 lalalalala

(under a cut cause this got a little long)

Scars: Listened to this one the second it was officially released, so i've had some time to listen to it !!!and . ough. its so good. i love when the crane wives make angry songs <3 really REALLY happy that they've incorporated violin into their newer songs too. the subtle shriek halfway through, the buildup near the end....GRAH (and i know they did on past albums but tbh they did not include them Enough. i love the violin <3)

Bitter Medicine: another one that was released ahead of the full album! also very good. reminds me a lot of the queen of nothing, mainly because of "someone take my keys im in no shape for driving" vs "stop the car, i wanna get out". and the AH AH OH AH OH'S NEAR THE END. YES !!! THEYRE SO FUN TO SING ALONG WITH I LOVE THEM. and the instrumentals. GRAAAAAH !!! the electric guitar (?) at the end is AMAZING.

Higher Ground: right off the bat i loved the instruments. and then when they start singing? INCREDIBLE. the vocals for this one are so so so good. like im actually in love with them, especially the first "should i head for higher ground". and its also like. very upbeat and fun. it makes me want to run around and just get myself Moving somehow. AND THE SUBTLE STRINGS IN THE BACKGROUND AS THE SONG BUILDS UP!!! i love the plucking, it so. hrgahgrhahghr. and once again. THE VIOLIN. I LOVE THE VIOLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Predator: i came into this song expecting something similar to the hand that feeds, so it was MUCH different than i anticipated! and honestly, i love it so much?? the guitar...? whatever funky instrument thats all wobbly is. sounds so fun. and i love the vocals so much they scratch at my brain. THE CLAPPING TOO. ITS SO FUN. another one that makes me want to get up and run around or dance <3

Say It: i was excited for this one! my friend heard it live and absolutely loved it, so i'd heard a lot about it going in. its a lot calmer than i was expecting but ohhh its so good. "please dont leave me in the dark, praying for a wayward spark" augh. ough. gruahgrh. "IF YOU COULD WOULD YOU ERASE ME. ERADICATE ME FROM YOUR MIND." RAAAAAAHHHH.

Mad Dog: another song i heard good things about! i was expecting something high energy and BOY did it not disappoint. obsessed with the pace of the beginning vocals, they sound like so much fun to sing i cant wait to learn the lyrics. AND THEN. THE CHORUS!!! OHHHH. THE ECHOES OF RUNNING AND COMING. IM GONNA EXPLODE. THEY SCRATCH MY BRAIN SO WELL. and the funky instrument in the back that i think is maybe a guitar but i cant tell....its so good and funky and oh my god i love the crane wives. honestly, this is probably one of my favorites of the album. its so good. i need to tear something apart with my teeth

Arcturus Beaming: i heard this song live back when i went to their concert in april, and oh my GOD. genuinely this song changed me i think. it rearranged my atoms. it means so much to me i literally love this song, even if the instrumentals arent my favorite out of the rest of the album i cannot put it any lower than my absolute favorite. THERES MORE TO LIFE THAN SUFFERING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time Will Change You: and this song. right off the bat its INCREDIBLE. the steady beat in the back. the guitar. the vocals. and just . the general Vibes. AND THEN. AND THEN !!!! THE STRINGS. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THE STRINGSSS. THE SECOND I HEARD THEM I LOST MY MIND. they are SO pretty and THIS is exactly why i wanted the crane wives to use strings in their songs more. they include them SO well. AND AUGH. THE INSTRUMENTAL HALFWAY THROUGH....AND THE VOCALS BEHIND IT....AND AGAIN!!! THE STRINGS !!!! this is SUCH a pretty song and it blew me away the first time i listened to it

Black Hole Fantasy: i wasnt entirely sure what to expect going into this song so i was a bit surprised by the introduction- and then it just kept getting better. right off the bat it reminded me of arcturus beaming, and then the general story of the song.... just. the feeling of aching so desperately for a better life, but being afraid to take that first step because you dont want to face the risks that come with it..... i genuinely almost cried listening to it, especially as the song began to ramp up. the fantasy of taking that chance but still being afraid. AND THEN. AND THEN!!!!! "AND NOW SHES LAUGHING, AND ITS KILLING ME THAT I CANNOT SEE WHATS MAKING HER LAUGH FROM WHERE IM STANDING." AND THE SUBTLE BUILD UP OF STRINGS IN THE BACK AS THE SONG RAMPS UP FURTHER. AND YOU FINALLY TAKE THAT CHANCE, TAKE THAT FIRST STEP. AAUEUEUAGHHHH. GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Red Clay: going into this song, i was expecting something with the vibes of the icarus or keep you safe, and i wasnt disappointed!!! BUT BEFORE I COULD REALLY PROCESS THE BEGINNING, I GET COMPLETELY BLIND SIDED BY SOMEONE OTHER THAN EMILEE OR KATE SINGING. im not entirely sure who it is, my best guess is dan, but its so so good. something about red clay is so specifically nostalgic for me, and for it to play right after black hole fantasy just. completely destroyed me/pos this song is so so pretty. i love it so much.

River Rushing: AND IMMEDIATELY IM HOOKED. again, i expected something high energy/upbeat like sleeping giants- and while its not the exact same, its similar, and i LOVE IT. the vocals are probably my favorite part, especially the backing vocals. BUT OH MY GOD THOSE HIGH NOTES. THEYRE SO GOOD. a VERY strong ending for the album, which i absolutely adored

and thats every song!!!! god i love the crane wives. im going to listen to this album on loop until each song is burned into my brain okay bye

[frzerburn]

Hello. First off I am here to say you can’t be given me life updates then fall off the face of the earth! I need to know what happens next, we drinking more coffee? We fighting off bitches? We out here dancing? 😂

Anyways, I hope you are well friend. I like hearing all the things and hopefully this makes you laugh a little. 😊

This is coco and she makes the best faces when she wakes up from naps 😂

🤣….Im Sawwy!

Almost got into a fight that i was trying to stop the other night with my barguest. I really want sum fucking coffee damn it!!!! I dont connect well with others so lets say im staving off bitches 😊. Also i dance behind the bar every night and i personally think its fucking amaze ballz! Btw u made my fucking night last night when i saw you wrote me literally made me smile cause tbh i dont genuinely think anyone cares about my life much at all,which is fine but this actually had me leaving my phone open in the service well lasg night with a thoughtful smile on my face. Hmmmmmm lets see…its 5:55am and i still haven’t gone to sleep since closing my bar at 1am. Ive been binge watching the office for the past week and a half for the 5th time now cause why nottttt mental health 😋. I met literally the sweetest couple and they love me and i think theyre the greatest and unfortunately theyre moving to Michigan so theres that but they’ve come to see me at my bar twice now and plan to come see me more before they leave. My hair has been looking very different and pretty dope and i love it because it helps my mental health. Ive been thoroughly enjoying a game on xbox with my best friend which i will say is the best game ive ever played! Busy football season is upon us and i need the money and very excited for the busy work seeing as im super hyper active! My jeep (Zoey) has been treating me right so were good there. Ive been posting alot about Border Collies because i really want a super active dog to run everyday with & they’re beautiful 😍. My Aunt Lily sent me $100 for gas last night and that was such a random surprise 😊💛. Oh ! Dare i say fall is upon us?!?!? 🍂 🍁 🍃

September & December both have Friday 13ths so im gonna get lots of piercings because those are my favorite holidays! Ive been deeping alot of awesome music like Jaded by Fordo , Lost souls Baby Keem ,Like we wrote LITHE & i just loving listening to anything EDEN! Like i absolutely have been listening to Zzz ALOT! Hmmmmm i havent read in a week now just cause my Adhd gets the best of me and i cant focus but thats life. Coco is fucking adorable!!!!!!!!! What a fucking cutie!

Thanks for being the best , friend and i hope you’re out here doing your best and if you’re not i wanna hear about it all! Seriously im glad u reached out to me! Means literally more than i can put into words! I have so much more to talk about but i wrote a fucking book bwahahahahaha! You’re so very welcome!

💛🍂🍃🍁