#and you can do as you please with this knowledge

[mitskicain]

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౨ৎ⊹. ultraman, ultrafine, ultramine — ken sato x reader

© mitskicain all rights reserved. the modification, translation, and plagiarism of my work is strictly prohibited.

synopsis: you give ken some good news. he wonders what the future holds for the both of you.

content warnings: some cursing, but other than that just fluff & mutual pining !!

word count: 1.3k

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part two.

“No, c’mon, try again, here.” You motion for him to close his eyes and he obliges; bringing the spoon to his lips—his mouth opens, closes, then chews. You sit back down, waiting for his answer.

“Whitetail?” He guesses, face twisted into an expression of please-don’t-get-mad-at-me.

You frown, then laugh.

“Shrimp.” You say, shaking your head.

Ken furrows his eyebrows and groans, feigning annoyance. “They taste the same.”

“They don’t.” You retort, scrunching your nose at him. He chuckles and throws his hands up in surrender.

The two of you are sitting side-by-side in the back of a restaurant’s sushi bar, trying out the latest craze that’s hit the city: kaisendon. A glorious rice bowl piled high with fresh seafood—salmon, tuna, crab, shrimp, and roe. You’re practically drooling by the time the food gets to the table, eyes as wide as big dinner plates. Ken shakes his head at your reaction, chuckles, and reaches for the soy sauce. You grab his hand and give him an incredulous look.

“What?” He asks, confused and also a little terrified.

“You’re going to ruin it.” You say, voice insistent. You feel his hand twitch and you tighten your grasp. “Drop the soy.”

He does, and runs his hand over where you had grabbed him. He looks at you, asking you telepathically: uhh, what just happened?

“The whole flavor profile of kaisendon is insanely delicate.” You explain, splitting your wooden chopsticks. “The soy sauce would overpower and completely ruin the dish.”

“Oh,” he sounds, dumbfounded. “I didn’t know that.”

You huff and smile to yourself. Leaning forward on the bar, you prop your chin on your palm. “I expected my readers to be a little more knowledgeable than that.”

He laughs and rolls his eyes playfully. You do the same.

“Okay Anton Ego.” He teases, and you punch him in the shoulder. The both of you almost fall over laughing.

Regaining composure, you smile in his direction before finally digging into the dish in front of you. You sample all the different sashimi in your bowl, savoring the unique flavor of each one, before mixing it up and scooping a spoonful of it into your mouth. Pure bliss. Heaven. Orgasmic, even. It’s so good a small moan escapes your lips.

Ken bursts out laughing, again. And for a moment, you’re struck, again.

He wipes a tear from his face before huffing out, satisfied. You grin at his reaction. You loved seeing him like this—rambunctious and chaotic. It was a side barely anyone else got to see. In fact, seeing him at all was barely anything anyone got to see. Ken was still the same all-work-no-play all-star athlete that you tried digging up dirt on, the one that got you fired. Fast forward two months later, the two of you are tearing up each alley in search of all the foodie adventures the city has to offer. Whether it be soba noodles, tempura, or ramen—Ken is down for whatever. He listens to you rave about the different places you want to try, and your intricate explanations detailing the dishes that you eat.

“You can make two dollar sushi seem like a million bucks.” He told you once, and you took it as a compliment. You credit him with your career as a flood blogger, given he was the one who actually pushed you to do it. In fact, the night that he did, he hovered over you until you finalized your account and posted your first review, shaky hands and all. He cheered with you the first time you received a comment, and patted you on the back the first time you got a feature. Before you knew it, surely enough, your account was growing, and so did the recognition around your name. He grinned with pride when you had gotten your first 1000 followers.

“I got a call from ByFood earlier today.” You say, interrupting the silence.

You see Ken’s ears practically perk up as he turns to you, mouth full of rice and fish. You fight back the urge not to pinch his cheeks.

“They said they want me on the show.”

“Oh my god.” He says, mouth still full.

“Oh my god.” He says again, hand covering his mouth this time, chewing and swallowing as fast as he could.

You laugh as he wraps his arms around your shoulders, biceps heaving and lifting you up out of pure excitement. You squeal and kick your feet, causing the guests near your table to shoot judgemental glances in your direction. You knit your brows and press your palms together apologetically.

Putting you down, Ken is practically beaming down at you—pearly whites on full display and all.

“I knew you could do it.” He declares, “you’re going to be amazing. God, I can’t wait.”

You chuckle, turn your head, and wave him off. “You’re being too kind.”

“No, no, I’m serious.” He says, grabbing your shoulders and craning his head to see your face. “You’re going to be amazing. I know it.”

“Really?” You ask, looking up at him, face just inches away. You see your lips reflected in the whites of his eyes and for a minute, you think he’s going to do it. His face is twisted in such a strangled expression of desire, and he is so close, but he breaks the spell.

“You’ve got something.” He mumbles almost incoherently, removing a grain of rice that was on the side of your lip.

“Oh,” you sound, stunned that he had just quickly sat back down and ruined the moment.

You sit back down as well and wipe your hands on the fabric of your skirt, your gaze fixed downwards.

“I’m really happy for you.” Ken says after a while, breaking the awkward silence. He smiles slightly but it quickly disappears. He turns his head towards the now empty dish sitting in front of him, poking the small pieces of roe left behind with his chopsticks.

“I guess we won’t be able to see each other as often then, huh?” His voice disappointed. Your breath catches in your throat. You look up to see his pained expression.

“It doesn’t have to be that way Ken,” you plead, reaching for him. He looks at your hand on top of his and then at you, eyes filled with surprise and relief.

“I want to see you.” You mumble, voice barely above a whisper, “I want to see you a lot more, actually.”

His mouth is slightly open, breathing quick and shallow. He searches for a hint of ingenuity in your statement and finds none. Tilting his head, he asks: “yeah?”

“Yeah.” You reply, nodding your head.

You stare at his throat and see him swallow hard, Adam's apple bobbing. Gosh, his beautiful neck. You look back up to see his face and find he is already staring at you.

“I want you, y/n.” He confesses.

The air stills. You feel his hand twitch underneath yours but neither of you move away. Instead, you move closer.

“I want you too, Ken.” You murmur, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You close your eyes and press your lips onto his. You can feel the way he melts into the kiss—the way his shoulders slump and relax forward, towards you. You wrap your arms around his neck for balance and you feel your right foot pop up, just like in the movies. When the two of you pull away, you grin widely.

“What?” He asks, chuckling.

“Nothing, I just..” your voice trails off as you feel the skin of your lips, missing the absence of his already. You look up, smiling. “I’ve just always wanted to know what that feels like.”

He laughs, head thrown back and hooting. God, you could listen to his laugh forever.

“So,” he says, still laughing, “what would you rate the experience?”

Now it’s your turn to laugh as you pull him close and press another kiss onto his lips.

“Five stars.” You smile. He smiles back.

Below your fourth rib, in your chest, again, something squeezes.

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author’s note: holy shit I did not expect the first one to do so well HAHAHA here’s a second, impulsive addition to the story, lmk what you think in the comments! also bonus: screenshots of some of my conversations with friends about this story

[algae-tm]

PEOPLE, PLACES, THINGS

Max Verstappen x anthropologist! Reader

Author’s note : this smau has a special place in my heart, if you haven’t noticed I’m not Caucasian, but was born and raised in Nigeria and a lot of my university life has been centred around studies of the black diaspora. My masters research is on homosexuality and Afro-syncretic religions, so have been trying to figure out how to incorporate it so thought I’d go full send and thus this was borne.

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peopleplacesthings just posted

liked by lewishamilton, yourbsfuser and 7,500 others

peopleplacesthings: I spent three years (give or take) with the people of the Bahia state in Brasil, researching the afro-syncretic religion of Candomblé. My research paper on the gender roles within Candomblé (how men express masculinity, and the role of women as spiritual leaders) will be published online where everyone will be able to access it. Can’t wait to see where the world takes me next!! 🌎🇧🇷

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yourbsfuser: y/n baby I love you and your big brain, but please take a sabbatical 😭. stay in the UK for a while.

— peopleplacesthings: what’s in it for me? 🤨

— yourbsfuser: seeing your family and friends???

— peopleplacesthings: sorry gotta blast, the world is waiting 🏃🏿‍♀️

user10: your masters research on the linguistic appropriation of AAVE was vital for me completing my dissertation! Thank you so much

— peopleplacesthings: passing down knowledge is the key to preserving culture! I love when I get comments like this, well done my love.

lewishamilton: so you’re free now?

— peopleplacesthings: until my next adventure

— lewishamilton: good to know

— user10: not SIR LEWIS HAMILTON in my old TA’s comment section

— user7: IK 😭 she was a guest lecturer at my uni like one month ago! Really my two worlds colliding 😭😭

— user8: how do they know eachother???

— user9: I’m guessing they must have met one of the times Lewis was in Brazil??

— peopleplacesthings: he is my cousin! he’s much older and way less attractive than me so that’s probs why you couldn’t see the family resemblance🙂🙂

yoursisteruser: 2 back to back research papers… you could use a break from work

— peopleplacesthings: it’s not work if you love what you do 🤗🤗

— user17: 2 research papers??? How old is she?

— user19: she’s actually done 3! One for her masters which was only 15,000 words and then 2 more, her 2nd was for her PhD and she’s published her last two as books. She’s 28 if I’m not mistaken. I’m not a stalker just obsessed with her work!

— user17: oh so she’s SMART smart

— user19: bro she’s DOCTORATE OF ANTHROPOLOGY smart

MESSAGES

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MESSAGES

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peopleplacesthings just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, and yourbsfuser and 43,000 others

peopleplacesthings: I can check getting papped reading in the park off my bucket list… maybe I should start a book club! Anyways everything is a learning opportunity so I am currently reading Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga. Don’t be so surprised that I read fiction! Nervous Conditions is a valuable case study in cultural anthropology due to its rich exploration of themes related to post-colonial identity, gender, and cultural conflict. If you take my post-colonial anthropology module in September, this will definitely be on the further reading list. Come read with me! 📚 📚

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user1: are we sure this is the woman max is dating…

— user3: I was just wondering that, so out of left field 😭 😭

— user4: I mean what do they even have to talk about? She just lectures him all day?

lewishamilton: how can I take your class if I’m not enrolled in the university?? 🤨🤨

— peopleplacesthings: you can’t! Hope this helps

— user5: jeez she’s so rude…

— user9: who does she think she is????

— peopleplacesthings: Dr. Y/n Y/ln that’s who I know I am

user11: so is anthropology all she talks about, or does she have hobbies…

— peopleplacesthings: I happen to think my field of anthropology; the study of societies, people and culture, is quite interesting. But no I am a person I contain multitudes anthropology is not all I talk about.

user6: not y’all invalidating a woman with a literal doctorate just because she MIGHT be dating your fav… pls touch grass

— user13: that’s what I’m saying! If anything she’s WAY out of Max’s league, hasn’t he only ever read like 2 books?? (liked by danielricciardo)

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peopleplacesthings just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, lewishamilton and 100,00 others

peopleplacesthings: We DTR’ed!!

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lewishamilton: DTR?

— peopleplacesthings: Define the Relationship apparently

— lewishamilton: my how the tables have turned, miss I don’t date drivers.

— peopleplacesthings: DR* I don’t date drivers. And what can I say my commitment issues are no match for Max Verstappen

danielricciardo: you’re welcome!

— user4: what could you possible have done

— danielricciardo: I told max to grow some balls that’s what! I’m the architect of this relationship

— peopleplacesthings: you and Lewis can fight over that title

maxverstappen1: WE DTR’ED!!!!

— peopleplacesthings: hell yeah we did!

maxverstappen1: I love you schat ❤️💙

— peopleplacesthings: 🥹 I love you too

you doofus

maxverstappen1 just posted

liked by peopleplacesthings, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 3,456,234 others

maxverstappen1: Did it hurt when you fell from your culture’s dogmatic view of an afterlife?

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peopleplacesthings: I think that’s the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me

— maxverstappen1: there’s more where that came from

— peopleplacesthings: oh shucks not in public maxie

— danielricciardo: this is the weirdest foreplay I’ve ever witnessed

user14: how did a man that drives in circles manage to bag my anthro professor??

— user16: shouldn’t that be the other way round???

— user14: if you ever attended one of her lectures and saw her in action you would know the answer to that question is absolutely not (liked by maxverstappen1)

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• TAGLIST

@forevercaffeinated-lee

@callsignwidow

@a-beaverhausen

@emryb

@c0deincrazy

@dontworryaboutitokie 

@c-losur3

@chuxk-lerclerk

@silkenthusiasts

@ietss

@sp1rl

[meanbossart]

Do you do studies? If so, how does one go about doing art studies? I never really understood how you can use them to help you further your drawing practice/experience. Thank you!!!

Yeah! Occasionally, and they definitely help but it's kind of a muscle that you have to continue exercising or you lose it. How you do them depends on what your goal is and how you best learn. I don't have any formal art education so I can't tell you if this is the "correct" way to do things, but the way I go about it is by breaking anatomy down into lines and simple shapes and trying to watch for the placement of said lines relative to each other, then "adapting it" to my style. This is specially useful for figuring out how to differentiate characters by their facial features.

As a note, please don't use video game screenshots to learn difficult anatomy - unless we're talking really high-fidelity triple-A cutscenes, most of them are not a good place to reference musculature from. I'm just referencing the poses here and supplementing with my own knowledge/style for those details.

[stayinlimbo]

note: i'm sorry for the lack of fics recently but i'm really happy with this one ♡

universal (lee minho x gn!reader) , wc: 509

“Do you think we’re together in every universe?”

The question that leaves your mouth is quiet, whispered into the crook of Minho’s neck, making his body shiver at the sensation of soft lips lightly brushing against his skin. If the bedroom wasn’t so quiet, both of you wrapped loosely in each other's arms beneath the blankets, he might not have heard it at all. But he does, and it’s enough to make his fingers halt their soothing motions at the base of your head. 

Your question is a profound one. It puts Minho on the spot as he shuts his eyes and prays to whatever entity is out there to grant him the words to form a tangible thought about how strongly he feels about you. “Strongly” doesn’t even begin to describe the love he holds so dear to his heart, nor the way he’s stripped bare by your tender gaze, a look he’s never seen directed towards anyone else but him.  

His arm has long since fallen asleep, the pins and needles fading into numbness beneath your upper body. It’s the same unpleasant sensation every night, yet he wouldn’t trade the way you nuzzle further into his neck and intertwine your legs with his for the world. He’d rather drown in your warmth, never to reach the surface where responsibilities lie in wait to rip you from his hold five days a week, than offer any relief to his muscles. 

But the pain in Minho’s arm is incomparable to waking up without you. On the rare occasions he’s allowed to sleep in before work, it doesn’t matter that he can hear bowls rattling in the kitchen or you gently hushing the cats crying for their breakfast. The knowledge of your presence quells the pang in his chest but never satisfies the chunk of his heart forged from your affection until he’s clinging onto you from behind, planting plush kisses on every available patch of skin. 

How could he live without you? He’d cry without your quiet coos to coax him out of bed in the morning. The absence of your light laughter lingering in the air would make him go insane. He’s certain the gaping hole of you not being tucked into his side while watching a movie on the couch would put him on his deathbed. Minho would rather die drunk on your love than never live to experience it. 

Don’t you understand there is no Minho without you? He was made to love you, his entire existence on this Earth was created to perfect the role of being your partner, your lover, yours. 

You’re everything. He doesn’t know if you share the same sentiment about him. He hopes you do, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t. How could he care when he has you nestled comfortably in his arms all the same? 

Minho’s fingers resume their movements. A small, wistful smile lifts the corners of his lips when he hears your low hum of contentment. The answer he gives you is simple:

“I hope so.”

liked this work? want to let me know how i did? please like, comment, and/or reblog; they are greatly appreciated my asks are always open ♡

taglist : @linospuddin @linocz @spicyhyunn @inlovewithstraykids @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21

@hwangism143 @feelikecinderella

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part sixteen

authors note: this is a nice lil break from all of the angst! ya'll deserve it! just.....remember that storms sometimes come in cycles, so let's just enjoy now! also, my legal knowledge is limited, so we take some creative liberties. just go with the flow, bro.

i also wanna just say thank you, as always, to all of you who enjoy this story of mine! i hit over 100k words and 300+ pages in the google doc i write this in, and it's such a special thing that i feel largely goes to you all for the wonderful support. so thank you!!!!

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: angst (good-ish?), fluff, language, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

faceclaims

words: 7k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @southerngirl41 @wanderingreigns

The hearing to see if the open case against you moves forward is scheduled for 8am on February 15th, 2024.

You’re outside that courthouse at 7am sharp on February 15th, 2024.

It’s all you could think about in the days leading up. Once you learned that you passed your home inspection, there was a bit of relief but still that bitter feeling of not knowing how the court date would go that kept you in that loop of misery.

Joe, bless his soul, has been a saint, staying with and supporting you in between his frequent trips to your mom’s house to spend time with Callie.

And Alexis…..my God, you’re not sure how and if you could ever repay her. She gave you a detailed play by play of her attack on Mariah, and while on the surface level, it pleased you to know that bitch got her ass beat.

It didn’t do shit to the emotional pain you’ve felt at having your child ripped away from you.

Hate is a strong word, but you hate her. She could drop dead tomorrow, and you’d spit on her grave.

It’s a bold sentiment but also how you feel. Maybe it’ll go away as time passes, or maybe it won’t. Truth be told, you don’t really care too much about it either way.

You’d hoped Alexis would stay around a little longer, as you deeply enjoyed her company, her support, wanted to express to her how much her grounding you and keeping you from catching a case, putting herself at risk for catching a case, meant to you. But, in true Alexis fashion, she’d hopped on a flight and skipped town.

It wasn’t entirely surprising. She can never be in one place for too long, but it does leave a little bit of a sting. 

Granted, in her words, “Girl, don’t worry, I’ll be back when my warrant becomes active.”

The memory brings a small smile on your face as you sit in the courtroom, hearing the details of the case presented to the judge. 

It’s a daunting ordeal but not nearly as difficult as you anticipated, mostly because there is literally nothing being presented that could implicate you in any way. Truthfully speaking, the prosecutor and your public defender sound like they're advocating for the same thing: a complete dismissal. 

It provides you a small slither of reassurance and validates your request to have Joe stay at the apartment. In the negative percent chance that something went wrong today, you wanted to continue to keep his presence in Callie’s life a secret. Push comes to shove, he could serve as a liaison between the two of you.

The presenting of the “evidence” lasts much shorter than you were anticipating, and it’s when the court is ordered to stand, that the rush of anxiety returns. It takes a lot in you to settle yourself, to keep your foot from tapping, to keep from falling out.

Reminding yourself that not a speck of incriminating evidence was presented, thus no basis for moving forward with the investigation, is what keeps your centered.

As centered as one can be in this moment. 

There’s a brutal delay in the moments before the verdict is handed, one that makes your throat dry and eyes water. It’s suddenly so overwhelming, but you force yourself to pull it together. 

Judge Merritt removes his glasses from his eyes and releases a heavy sigh. “In all my years on this bench, this may be the most frustrated I’ve felt by a case before me.” For a second, your stomach drops. What does he mean by that? “There is not an ounce of evidence before me to support the actions that were taken nor the claims made against the defendant.” A shaky breath leaves your mouth as you ground your feet into your heels. That’s definitely not what you were expecting him to say, but it’s most definitely what you were praying he would say. 

“The law is the law, and I respect all parties involved who followed protocol. But my God, what a waste of time and resources.” He then directs his focus specifically on you, gaze almost apologetic. “Young lady, I sincerely apologize for the stress this situation has put you and this innocent child under. What a disgrace. Whoever made these horrific, false accusations against you, may God have mercy on their soul.” He reaches for his gavel. “All charges are dismissed against the defendant on the basis of no evidence. This case is officially closed, and the child is to be returned to the defendant’s custody, effectively immediately.”

At the same moment he bangs the gavel, you double over, hand over your stomach, crying almost instantaneously. “Thank you,” you say in between tears and share a hug with your lawyer. Surely, this is the easiest case they’ve ever defended, but it’s now one of the most important moments of your life.

You don’t hesitate to gather your jacket and adjust the purse on your shoulder as you murmur a goodbye to the lawyer and make your way down the aisle of the courtroom. You’ll probably send him a thank you card with a heartfelt message at a later date and time, but that’s not a priority currently.

The only thing you want and need is to go get your baby.

You’re looking down, trembling hands digging for your car key in your purse when you hear it, the single most beautiful sound to exist in this world, in your world.

“Mommy!”

There’s a good chance you risk whiplash when your head snaps up at the sound of the voice you’ve been almost dying to hear for the past couple days. It’s so worth it when you land your eyes on that dimpled smile that makes your life have meaning.

“Callie…..”

Before you can even close the gap between the two of you, Callie’s little feet are moving across the busy lobby of the courtroom. You literally drop to both knees, arms spread to accept her hug when she throws her body against yours. 

The tears intensify as you hold her close, hold her tight, like you’ll never let her go. And you won’t. Never again. “Calista….” She’s crying into your chest the same way your tears are soaking the top of her head. “My baby. My sweet baby….”

Callie pulls back to look at you with a frown you hope to never see on her face ever again. “Please don’t leave me anymore, mommy.”

“Never,” you vow. Law be damned, nothing could ever separate you from her again. “I will never leave you again.”

It’s the joy and happiness you feel at being reunited with your daughter that prevents you from asking just why the hell she’s at the courthouse. But, that question is answered when footsteps approach the two of you.

Your heart swells again. “Mom….” 

Your mom is the first to pull you into her for a hug that includes the three of you. She pulls ways, tears in her eyes. “There was no way on God's green earth I was going to let one more unnecessary minute pass before letting that baby be with you again.” It’s clear Joe communicated the time of your court date with your mom to make sure she would be here right on time for the dismissal and subsequent return of custody of Callie to you.

He’s literally the perfect man.

You can’t stop hugging Callie, can’t stop holding her tight, almost needing to have her in your embrace. It’s when you turn to your mom though, needing to express something to her but not entirely knowing how that you loosen your hold a little bit. “I’ve missed you so much, mom, but….”

She lifts her hand to stop you. “I understand, sweetie. We’ll catch up.” You appreciate her so much in this moment. She must know all you want is to be able to have Callie back in your place again, return to some semi sense of normalcy. “Go take your baby home.”

She gets it. You love her and have missed her dearly. However, you just want to go back to your place, especially as Joe is eagerly waiting for Callie to be back with you as well. Just want her to be home.

“Thank you, mama,” you hug her again, sniffling. She holds you for a minute and then steps back, brushing a hand over Callie’s face. Callie, who hasn’t pulled her head away from where she’s laying on your chest. 

You thank her yet again for all she did. She had to have been out of work the past week to stay with Callie, and you make a mental note to talk to her about giving her some money for that time she couldn’t work. You know she does okay for herself, but that loss of income has to impact her one way or another.

She may not accept it, but you still want to offer.

The car drive is full of Callie catching you up on everything you missed in the days without her, and you eat up every second of it. She’s even more thrilled when she sees that Joe is at the apartment, waiting for you and her with breakfast already prepared.

He really is a gem.

The three of you enjoy your meal, Callie opting to sit on your lap as she eats, clearly wanting to be close to you. 

The feeling is mutual. 

Joe had made a comment just yesterday, partially frustrated as it was Valentine’s Day, and he wanted to do something nice for you, something nice with you. But, he already knew you weren’t really in the mood for anything other than sulking and obsessing over your court date. Still, he was just irked about the situation as a whole and its hindering him spending what should be a special day catering to you.

You’d calmly explained to him that the best valentine's day gift you could receive was returned physical and actual custody of your daughter. And to have her back, to have just that, means the absolute world to you.

All you need is her.

Hence why the rest of the day is spent holed up in your apartment, Callie taking the lead and dictating what she wants to do. A lot of play. Some movie viewings. Occasional food breaks. And a lot of wholesome fun.

It warms your heart to see how happy she is to be home. 

The three of you are sitting on the floor of your living room, coffee table moved to the side to make room for all of Callie’s art supplies she ‘shares’ with the two of you as you all color. It’s about halfway through the day, when you realize you’ll need to start wrapping up to get her in bed.

Clearing your throat, you catch her attention. “Callie….your dad and I want to talk to you about something.” Her eyes lift from the page and settle on you with a heightened level of curiosity. Reaching out to brush back some of her hair, you start to explain, “you know how we live here in mommy’s place in this town?” She nods. “Well, daddy actually lives somewhere else when he’s not working.”

Her eyes fall on Joe as she asks, “where do you live?”

He answers with the gentleness you’ve noticed he reserves for her and only her. “I live in Florida.”

Her eyes flash with a glimpse of excitement. “Really? That’s where Disney is!”

Joe chuckles, and you can tell he doesn’t want to focus too much on that aspect of the move. He wants Disney to be an absolute surprise for her. “It is, but almost all of your cousins all live in Florida too.”

The excitement grows as she clarifies. “Cousin Jon and Cousin Josh too?”

Joe flicks her nose. “Yup.”

“Callie….” You redirect her attention back to you, taking both of her hands in yours. “Your dad and I think it’s a good idea if….if you and I move to Florida with him.” You quickly add on. “We’ll get a house together, and we’ll all live with each other. That way when daddy comes to visit, he’ll be at home with us.”

You can tell she’s sitting on the words, processing and making as much sense as a 4-year-old can make out of a situation like this. Finally, she asks, “will I still see grandma?”

This is when Joe jumps in and assures her. “I will make sure your grandma can come see you whenever she wants, baby girl.” Callie is too young to understand the underlying meaning of his words, but you catch on quickly. He’ll pay for your mom to come visit whenever she, you, or Callie want to see one another. “And you and mommy can come here and visit however many times you want to.” At this point, as this man is already forking up most, if not all of the money for a house, you have a hard time finding it in you to protest any of this. Especially as it primarily benefits Callie.

Again, she sits on this new information and asks a follow up question. “Can we get a backyard?”

Joe is quick to answer. “We sure can.”

She glances up at him with those sweet eyes you’re almost certain he’s physically incapable of saying ‘no’ to. “A big backyard?”

Joe suddenly reaches over and lifts her up high. Callie’s sweet giggles are food to your soul. God, you missed her. “As big as you want.”

Settling into Joe’s lap, she shoots you a wishful glance. “And a puppy, mommy?”

Laughing, you reach and tickle her side. “Nice try, sis, but you know the rule. Not until you hit double digits.”

Joe gives you that look. That look that tells you this is clearly something he wants to “discuss” further when alone, i.e., try to convince you why you should cave. You’re open for the discussion, but you’re not changing your mind. Callie is entirely too young for a pet, because you would be the one taking care of the damn dog most of the time anyway. And as you weren’t raised with animals, it’s not really your thing.

Maybe a fish.

Settling down, you ask her again as she sits comfortably in Joe’s lap. “So, you’re okay with this? With us moving?” Before she can answer, you add. “We’re going to try to find a house soon, so….so we can move as soon as we can.” This is the part you struggle with the most. Not having a lot of time to prepare for such a big thing, but you also know the sooner you’re out of that town, the better. Not being able to give her more time to say goodbye though absolutely sucks. 

Still.

You have to get Callie out of this town. 

“What about my graduation?” There’s a hint of sadness to her question. Understandably so. This is a big accomplishment for her. 

Joe offers, gently. “We’ll do something special for your graduation. I promise. Maybe invite your cousins.”

“With ice cream?”

“Yes. With ice cream.” Laughing, you share a look with Joe who nods for you to share the next part. “Hey, baby?”

“Hmm?”

“You, me, and daddy are gonna spend some time in Florida this weekend so we can go tour a house and see what we think of it.”

It’s something you and Joe discussed at length the night before. Well, more him telling you that he thought it’d be a good idea if you could get away for a couple days. You’re pretty sure he expected more of a protest from you, but he received none. The idea of being in a completely different state with Callie is more appealing than you think he realizes. 

It’s not a hard sell.

As with most of this discussion, she’s clearly intrigued. “Really?”

Nodding, you continue. “Daddy’s gonna fly out with us tomorrow morning, but he’s gotta leave tomorrow afternoon to get back to work, so it’ll mostly be you and me this weekend. But, I talked to your cousin Kaylah and we’re gonna see if you and Ellie can have a playdate.”

Both Kaylah and Trinity have checked on you often in the past week, offering words of support and encouragement that truly held you up in moments where you were already feeling so low. 

They make the idea of moving and having that kind of support system that much more enticing.

Connecting with her cousin clearly chips away some of Callie’s sadness as she cheers. “Yay!”

It pleases you immensely that she took the news so well, though a large part of you believed she would. 

This is what she’s always wanted.

A family. 

————

Traveling with Joe is so much easier than traveling alone, mostly because of how helpful it is to have another adult present when flying with a child. Naturally, Callie stays close to you, but it’s the closeness and holding her most of the time while Joe handles luggage and checking you in for your flight that you appreciate more than anything.

You’re appreciative of all he does for you, but it's physically being there that makes the biggest difference. His money is fine and all, but you don’t care about that shit. You just need him. That’s all.

Of course, he got you all first class tickets but unlike the last time you flew with Callie, instead of her being the social butterfly that she is by making friends with the flight crew, she’s fast asleep in her seat. It’s not entirely unexpected considering the ungodly hour you had to wake her up at to make it in time for the flight. If the situation was different, you’d have objected to such a crunch timeline. However, as Joe literally has a show tonight, the earlier the flight, the sooner you could view the house, the better the chances he can make his flight out in time.

Joe’s apartment is exactly as nice as you imagined it to be. It’s definitely luxury, but it looks like it’s unlived in, which is expected. You know he spends most of his time on the road. He’s probably been at your place more than he’s been at his own in the past couple months.

That’s just the life of a professional wrestler.

You lay Callie down in the guest bedroom and let her get in a little rest while you freshen up in the shower before Joe shows you around his place, where things are and whatnot. He tries to get you to take a nap, but it’s hard for you to sleep, especially when you slept as well as you did the night before.

The best sleep you’ve had since Callie was removed from you.

So, you instead catch up on some emails, mostly work related, navigating a time to meet with your principal and figure out some plan for your resignation. You’d be willing to stay on with the school system to guide and help out whoever they hire to replace you, so long as they understand it would be a long distance type of situation. 

Regardless, it’s not a major concern. Your family comes first. 

Joe, being the perfect man that he is, fixes a breakfast for you and Callie to eat before you head out. And it’s nice to finally be able to eat without emptying your stomach less than half an hour later. It’s even nicer to be able to share that breakfast with the two people you love the most.

Similar to breakfast, the car ride to the viewing is a fun time, Joe allowing Callie to have control of the music. She, of course, asks you to play her Disney playlist.

You don’t hesitate. You’ve missed this, missed all of her requests, everything about her, really. 

But pulling up to said house is an entirely different experience.

“Holy shit,” you breathe as Joe pulls his Range Rover into the driveway behind the red Tesla you’d guess belongs to the realtor his manager hired for ya’ll, Jen.

“Mommy, you said a bad word,” Callie scolds, and Joe chuckles. You shoot him a side glare which only makes him laugh more as he moves to unbuckle Callie from her booster seat. 

“Mommy’s sorry, baby.” It’s a genuine apology, but you don’t actually regret what you said. You can’t help it. The house looked huge in the pictures, but it’s massive in person. You feel like you’ve just walked into Beverly Hills or something. Like if the house wasn’t secured by a massive, black wrought iron gate, the neighbors would call the police on you for trespassing on some where did you people come from BS.

Jen, the realtor, is waiting for you in the foyer of the house. She’s nice enough, seems genuine and chill. But, it’s hard to focus too much on her when you’re stuck in a state of awe at the fact that you’re literally standing in a mansion. Callie instantly falls in love just from the fact that her voice echoes near the entrance, among other things as well, but that fact alone wins her over immediately. 

You find it strange, however, when Jen basically leaves the three of you alone to tour the house. Granted, you’ve never actually been on a house tour, everything you've seen on HGTV indicated homegirl is supposed to actually, well, sell the house.

“Sis must not care about this commission,” you whisper to Joe, but a gasp immediately leaves your mouth afterwards as you walk into the kitchen. “Oh my god….” You’d fallen in love the minute you saw the pictures, but seeing it in person is a whole other experience. “Look at the ovens.” The open floor plan of the kitchen alone probably rivals half the size of your apartment back home. Maybe more. “Is this real granite?” Running a finger over the cool stone, you realize that in a house this big and luxurious, it only makes sense that everything included is real. 

And expensive.

Callie giggles, standing close to Joe. “Maybe mommy can learn how to cook.”

Smacking your teeth, you playfully cross your arms over your chest, warning, “okay, I’m forreal. Ya’ll better leave me alone. I try.” 

“Yes, you do absolutely try.” You can’t move fast enough to punch Joe’s arm, a small laugh leaving his mouth at your slowness. Or maybe it’s just his speed. You can tell he’s been hitting the gym harder in preparation for WrestleMania, and it’s paying off, paying off very well. With everything going on, you haven’t had the time nor desire to show him said appreciation. 

An unfortunate occurrence indeed. 

“Let’s look at the rest,” Joe encourages, leaning over to pick up Callie, though something tells you she’ll be wiggling to get down and explore with her own two feet. 

Following them, you’re grateful that you wore your most comfortable pair of sneakers. Exploration of this home is a workout in and of itself.

Sure enough, you’re barely into the back of the house when Callie asks to get down, running into the movie theater room. “It’s just like the movies!”

“It sure is….” Touring the rest of the residence is something like out of a fantasy. There’s not a single thing you can find wrong with this house. The rooms, and there are plenty of them,  are large, spacious, ready to be decorated as you see fit. You even come across two spaces that you could see being your and Joe’s office spaces. That’s one thing you really did miss after giving up your office for Callie to have a playroom. This house is big enough for her to have two playrooms if she wants.

And you know Joe would give it to her. 

The master bedroom is literally perfect, but the bathroom is even better with a separate shower, bathroom, and large his/her sinks with counter space that links the two sinks. It conjures inappropriate thoughts about how said space could be used. 

But, it’s really the backyard that does it for you. It’s humongous, beautiful green grass stretching out for what seems like a mile. There’s a separate attached building that you already know Joe would turn into a home gym, a beautiful pool that’s covered up, covered patio and just nothing but room for Callie to run around.

And she does just that.

Her little legs take her all over the greenery as you take in everything else. 

Joe suddenly turns you toward him. His hand is on the back of your neck, and his voice is almost vulnerable, as he asks, “do you like it?”

Maybe if not for the emotional rollercoaster you’ve been on the past week, you’d hit him with your usual smartass remark. But, that’s neither a desire nor an option, as you answer with equal vulnerability. “I love it.” It’s when you see that spark of excitement and relief in his eyes that you see a glimpse of Callie, see her smiling face and big, hopeful eyes. You’d never realized just how much of him is in her. “But Joe, I don’t want you sp—”

“It’s ours.” 

One, two, three blinks precede you asking with a stutter in your voice. “W–what?”

His hands shift to your hips as he repeats himself. “It’s ours.”

There’s a hint of alarm growing in your body and projected into your voice. “You’re saying that like it’s supposed to make sense, Joe.” 

He brings his lips to your forehead and says, “this is our house.”

You’re hearing him, but you’re not actually hearing him because there’s no way in hell he can be serious right now. No way that he can seriously be telling you that this beautiful house you’re standing in, the kind of house people can only dream about having one day, the level of luxury that’s reserved for Pinterest and vision boards…..is yours.

Chuckling at your probably expected reaction, he adds. “I could tell by your facial expressions just looking at the pictures that you loved it, so I asked Kaylah and Alexis to come see it, since Kay knows what I like, and I know Lex knows what you like.” You suddenly realize why he was being a bit strange with his phone the other day, a stark difference from the man who literally told you his passcode even when you didn’t ask for it. Going through your man’s phone was never your thing, especially with him. You trust him too much for that shit.

It also explains Alexis' sudden departure. She was checking out the house for you, seeing if it was something that you would like. Obviously, it’s not something you like.

It’s something you love.

Joe continues to explain. “Now, technically, the signing isn’t until next week, because I wanted to give you and Callie a chance to see it for yourselves, but it is under contract to make sure it’s ours….if you want it.”

If…..

There is no if in this situation.

“Joe…..” Tears are burning your eyes, and it’s still hard to comprehend just what he’s saying, but the reality is also setting in as well. “You seriously bought us a house?”

His expression softens, voice lowering as he reminds you. “I told you, I love you, and I want to be with you. Wanna be with Callie.” 

It’s hard to not be choked up in this moment where this man has literally purchased an entire house for you. And not some small 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom starter home in the middle of bumfuck nowhere but a literal mansion, a dream.

Sniffling, you nod to yourself, laughing tearily and reach up to hug him. Joe’s arms are immediately around you, holding your body close to his. “Thank you.” He must have done all of this in under a week, recognized how difficult all of this was on you and wasted no time in speeding up this process to get you what you need. “Thank you so much.”

He’s always there for you when you need him, and you’re not sure how to help him understand how that means the absolute world to you.

Callie runs over to where you’re standing, trying not to be a blubbering mess. Your emotions have been all over the damn place lately. Thankfully, she directs her question to Joe. “can we come visit here when we move to Florida? It’s so fun!”

You give Joe a nod, indicating to him that he should tell her. This may be a moment for all of you, but it’s a special thing you want him to be able to have with Callie. 

“Baby girl….” He kneels down on knee in front of her, gently pulling her closer to him. “This is our house.” She gasps, and you can only imagine the happy smile on his face. “You, me, and mommy, we’re gonna live here.”

“Really?” Her excitement is palpable and stretches across the entire premises. “Forever?”

He chuckles. “As long as you want to live here.” 

Callie suddenly asks, clearly realizing just what this means. “I can paint my room?”

That’s one thing you also know she’s always wanted to do, to paint the bland white walls of her room back at your place. 

Now though….now she can. 

“You can draw on the walls in your room for all I care, baby girl. It’s your room.” He would be that dad, the dad that lets his kid do whatever they want with their space, because it’s their space. 

If only you were that mom.

“Uhh, Joe—”

“And get a puppy!” Your eyes go wide at this. This child really is not taking you seriously, but you’re especially floored when Joe’s ass whispers to her something about talking to you about it.

It’s when Callie starts to run around the backyard, happy and ecstatic, celebrating, that you warn him. 

“You think I’m playing, Joe. Get that lil girl a puppy, and I promise you, you gon be taking Toto on the road with you. She gon be at your side when you do your slow ass walk to the ring. I’m not taking care of no dog.” And you mean that. Callie can give him all the puppy dog eyes—no pun intended—she wants. She’s just not old enough yet.

Of course, Joe tries to sway you, suggesting, “it’ll teach her responsibility.”

A heavy sigh leaves your mouth as you observe Callie spinning in a circle. This child has the energy of the energizer bunny. “We already have one rambunctious child. Let’s just focus on her first, please?”

Your little family of three is more than enough.

It’s everything you need.

This, right here, right now, is all you need.

————

Joe told you he talked with Kaylah about being a bit of your tour guide and helping you and Callie to familiarize yourself with the area while he was gone, but he didn’t mention that Kaylah would literally be coming over that night.

It’s a surprise when you get a call from the front desk asking for permission to buzz Kaylah in, but you don’t hesitate to authorize it, especially when you overhear Ellie’s little voice in the background. 

You know Callie will be thrilled to see her cousin. 

And she definitely is, the two girls making more noise than probably what’s appropriate for an apartment, especially an upscale apartment. But, something tells you even if there is some type of noise complaint, Joe won’t hesitate to dead that shit.

“How are you doing? Really?” Kaylah asks as the two of you sit in Joe’s living room on the sofa as the girls play in the guest bedroom. The TV is on Smackdown, but Joe hasn’t made his appearance yet.

You promised Callie you’d call her when he got on screen, so it’s something you pay attention to.

“I can’t believe she would do that to you, and she was supposed to be your best friend?” Kaylah sounds rightfully disgusted. “You and Callie didn’t deserve that.”

“I have my baby back, so I’m much better now.” And it’s the truth. It’s almost night and day how having Callie back in your custody has completely changed your existence. You can actually bring yourself to do something other than cry, can actually experience emotions other than sadness, and most importantly, you can also keep food down.

There’s still some lingering nausea that you wish would just go away, but it’s tolerable. Much tolerable than the constant vomiting.

“I don’t blame you for wanting to leave that place. I don’t know if I could stay there either after that.”

“A part of me doesn’t want to go back now.” Even though you’ve only met Kaylah once, there’s something about her that’s comforting and easy to talk to. “I just….even now, it’s like I have this fear that they’re gonna take her from me as soon as I step foot off the plane.”

She reaches over and places her hand on top of yours. “That’s over with now. The judge dismissed everything. You’re okay, girl. Callie’s back home.”

Feeling the wetness on your face alerts you that those damn tears have returned. For someone who hates crying, you’ve sure been doing a lot of it. And you hate it. 

“Thank you, Kaylah.”

She gives you a warm nod and smile. “Oh!” Kaylah reaches over to her purse on the coffee table, digging around before she pulls out a folded piece of paper. “Here. You’ll need this.” Unfolding the paper, she explains, “it’s the info for the doctors and dentists Jon and I use for ourselves and the kids. Ellie especially loves Dr. Pyle. She’s super great with kids, and I absolutely adore my primary and OB-GYN. They’re both fabulous black women who actually listen when you have an issue.”

There’s so many things to consider when moving that it never even crossed your mind yet that you’d need to find a whole new slate of medical providers. Kaylah’s thoughtfulness is so appreciated. “Thank you. I should probably call tomorrow and get those appointments set up now.”

With everything you’ve been through this past week, it’s not a half bad idea to get a check up just to make sure everything is going good internally.

You add that to your to-do list for tomorrow. 

Maybe see the OB-GYN for your women’s wellness exam as well. You’re just about due anyway.

She nods. “Definitely, and I don’t know if you and Joe have talked about schools, but Ellie’s private school is really great.”

Private school….

You’d definitely thought about schools for Callie, but a private school wasn’t really an option as you were factoring in your financial capability. Now though….now that Joe is in the picture, you’re almost certain he would not only want Callie to be in private school vs public school, but he’d pay however much it cost to do so.

You’re not entirely opposed, interestingly enough. Especially since Callie is technically the kid of a celebrity, it might be a good move to keep her in a smaller, more private setting. 

“We haven’t, but I’m sure it's a discussion we’ll have.” You then remember. “Can you also give me the information for the dance academy Ellie goes to? I think I want to see about putting Callie in ballet.” It’s something she’s been wanting for a while, and accepting Joe’s financial generosity is becoming easier when you think about how it can benefit Callie. She deserves all of the happiness in the world.

And you’d much rather her do ballet than finesse her daddy into getting her a dog that’ll eventually be yours.

“Of course! We can actually swing by there tomorrow, so you can get a feel, if you want.” She offers, and it sounds like a great plan. Checking out the school with Joe is also something you make a mental note to discuss with him. Something tells you Kaylah is a good judge of character, but you need to check for yourself. This whole experience has made you that much more protective of your baby girl. “Joe also asked that I take you guys furniture shopping to start furnishing the house.”

At that, you groan and lean your head back against the sofa. “Girl, it’s gon take a minute to furnish that house. It’s so big.”

“It is, but it’s also so beautiful.” She leans closer to you, hand on your forearm. “And you don’t have to do everything at once, just like the master, Callie’s bedroom, the living room. You know, the main rooms.”

“Oh my goodness, I already know Joe is gonna’ have that girls room looking like a damn toy store.” He already mentioned something about knowing someone who does wall art and murals and reaching out to see if they could do a Disney mural in her bedroom. Not that you’re opposed to that. “He already spoils her. Now that we have this big ass house, I know it’s only going to get worse.”

Kaylah makes a sound and shrugs. “Let him. He loves her. He loves being a dad. Let him spoil her. Let him spoil you.”

“I love Joe for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with his money. I don’t need him to spoil me financially. Other ways though….” Because of everything that’s happened the past week, you’ve had neither the mental or desire to be intimate with Joe. But with Callie returned to you and the litany of other positive things happening in your life, that sex drive is gradually building back up.

A small part of you is wishing that you’d gotten in a ‘quickie’ in the small space of 

‘Callie is sleeping’ time before you went to see the house. Granted, you also know that Joe isn’t a fan of quickies.

If he can’t have you for as long as he wants you, milking out at least 2 to 3 orgasms, he doesn’t want you at all. 

“Girl please, that man is like my brother. I don’t need the visuals.” She laughs, waving her hands in a “please shut up” manner. Giggling, you glance at the TV and see the blue lights flashing around the arena.

Sitting up and angling your body towards the back of the sofa, you make a sound when your chest presses against the cushion of the sofa. Your boobs have been weirdly tender too. Ignoring one of many annoying things about being a woman, you shout out, “Callie Bear! Daddy’s on TV!”

Callie runs in there faster than Usain Bolt, Ellie not too far behind. The girls plop on the living room floor, Callie’s eyes glued to the TV, not wanting to miss a second of it.

Your attention is also glued to the TV, but also elsewhere, even as your fine ass man talks his shit while looking so good doing so. 

You’ve learned a lot in the past week, been through a lot, but one of the major takeaways has been the importance of community. Of family. Alexis has transcended past best friend territory. A best friend doesn’t do what she did, doesn’t take the heat, even if she won’t feel said heat, the way that she did for you.

That’s something a sister would do. 

And while your heart swells at the notion of considering and seeing her as such, having that important conversation with her about what you want her to be in your life moving forward,, it’s also triggered another train of thought.

With change, comes friction, and while that friction can be uncomfortable, it can lead to something beautiful.

Look at you and Joe. Where you started, and where you are now. If you had to, you’d do it all again. It’s just all so worth it. 

So, you decide to pull out your phone as Callie goes crazy seeing Dwayne aka “cousin Maui!” appear on the screen and scroll to your earlier messages. Your thumb hovers over that thread, and there’s a brief moment of hesitation before you decide to power over fear and type out a message

You: hi, bianca. sorry for the delayed response, a lot has happened….  but you’re right. it can end with us. when’s a good time to call you? better yet, can we meet up?

You don’t even bother proofreading it before hitting send, not trusting yourself not to back out.

To say you feel 100% confident with your decision would be an absolute lie. You’re still wary about moving forward, but you owe it to yourself, and Callie, to try. From now on, you only want and need people in your life who want and deserve to be there.

And if…..and if your sister is included in that list, then you owe it to yourself to at least see what happens there.

This is a new season of your life, and you intend to embrace it for all it brings.

[kafkasmeow]

1 ꗃ A FAMILIAR TUNE

imagine! 7.2k words worth of slow-burn ─ dan heng x reader ─ second pov fem! reader ─ angst and fluff ─ father! jing yuan (strictly platonic) ─ i treated the reader more as an oc, i do apologise for that.

summery ─ leaving home was one of the hardest choices you’ve ever had to make, yet how could you stay when the life you lived could only ever bring you sadness and superficiality? 

aka dan heng x reader with mommy and daddy issues

disclaimer ─ this story may hold sensitive subjects such as mentioned death, neglect and the baggage that comes with it, mental illness, violence, harassment and talks of infertility. it has a very long introduction (my bad lol), a rather steamy end and takes inspiration from the original story line so be careful of spoilers and it was inspired by head-canons written here by @lyomeii , please go show some love. remember that this is a work of fiction and any names and characters written are my imagination alone. enjoy <3

taglist ─ @can-i-go-to-sleep-please ─ @can-i-stay-awake

There was a time when things felt easier, when the sun seemed to shine brighter despite the overwhelming shadow that was always cast on your family. You used to love the deep smell of green tea that enveloped the parlour each time the two of you took residence in it, and the wind that would swirl it around the whole of the office all while you laughed without a single care at the way it tugged your translucent shawl and hair. 

Jing Yuan adored that sound more than anything, it filled his heart with the warmest of contents yet the cruelest of longings. He would sip quietly on the tea you’d brewed for him and pretend to enjoy the frivolous moment with his eyes closed, but you both knew that when you looked away, another story would be told completely. 

Perhaps in reality, the sun never shined brighter than it seemed to and it was never easier to stomach. You were just too naive, too young to notice the thin cords bringing you and your father closer, and too ignorant to see the way they were slowly beginning to rip under the pressure. 

To the public eye, your father loved you more than anything in the world, that was no news to anyone atop the Xianzhou Luofu. You’ve always worn the most expensive silks to have ever been created, with the richest of accessories and jewels. Whenever a new Hanfu dress would reach your hands, he would parade you on the busiest streets himself, making sure everyone and their mothers would talk about it by noon the next day. 

He made sure you always had the most able and knowledgeable professors at your call, and if you ever needed anything, all you’d have to do is ask to whomever was closest to you at the very moment, and it would be fulfilled within seconds. Sometimes you didn’t know if the servants did it out of admiration for your father or obligation.

Jing Yuan made sure you never needed or wanted for more. Materially, that is. 

And things were bound to change as you grew, especially as he cruelly presented you to the scrutiny of high society. 

You quickly grew to understand that it was his way of apologising, like a crow that would chip away at your skin then bring you trinkets of appreciation. When you sat and listened to some woman criticise that your dress was too frivolous for the event, too out of fashion for society and that none of your jewels matched, he did not do much but smile and pat your shoulder. 

“Little [Y/n] will learn from your kind advice.” He assured her, but you barely held in a snort of frustration. When the other women joined in, when they begun pulling at your hair to adjust it, when they hit your hands with their fans as you purred tea for not angling your elbows right, when they shamed you as the hall hollered with laughter, he watched and smiled, so you took a deep breath and smiled back to everyone around you too.

Later that very evening he found you with tears running on your cheeks, a box of red and gold velvet in his hands. Your father did not speak, nor did he show much emotion on his face and it angered you. You wished to yell, to protest for the fact that he had not jumped to your defence, but as you opened the box, all protests died on your lips and the tears stilled, hands shaking at the most beautiful jade hair pin you’ve ever seen.

But his gifts stopped making up for his emotional absence around the third time it happened. 

And you knew they all watched you like a hawk. Every move you’d make before the higher ups would be analysed on a scale of “good enough” or “weak” by none other than your father’s so called friends, while every single gesture before the public was like pulling needles off your skin. Yesterday you wore your Hanfu scandalously low on your cleavage, today you didn’t say thank you when the guard accompanying you opened up your parasol, tomorrow you won’t hold your tea cup quite right and so on. 

Usually it was easy to ignore.

But that was before the daughters of the noblest of houses would begin to alienate you for shallow reasons, and before the sons of each commissioner would size you up as nothing but easy stock to win over, an easy marriage in the pocket, or so they thought. 

It was easy for them to have the audacity to criticise you to your face or try to win you over, after all, you were nothing but a spoiled brat who’s never heard no for as long as she’s lived. Surely, you’ve never faced a single hardship, so the public felt righteous enough to scold you into it while for those within you were noting but a charity case. 

So you tried to learn all you could, so you’d never feel as less in front of others ever again. Since the very evening of your debut, you insisted on having a book under your arm, a needle in your hand, a sword at your hip, or a qin in your lap while tea cups simmered on a table. It felt easier to overlook the loneliness when you did. You found that after a certain age, it felt comforting even to worry about making it in time to granny Hua’s qin lessons while leaving the swordplay hall behind, rather than sit pretty in a room and wait all day for your father to finish his duties as a general. There was no more room at social events for rude interventions, and no more room in your mid for uncomfortable questions to ask while doing so, really.  

But you couldn’t avoid them for an eternity, that was for sure. And neither could Jing Yuan, for even in tranquil moments when peace had the taste of green tea and the smell of fresh air after rain, your twinkling eyes were still a carbon copy of how hers were. 

In the better of these days, your father would pretend to laugh at a joke you made, while you pretended to be satisfied with his reaction. You’d move a piece on the xiangqi board with elegant hands and chatted about the latest passage you read in a philosophy book, and he hummed in agreement while placing his own piece down. A cleverly crafted strategy to his own defeat, one that you felt content with following despite the fragile shame that came with it. 

It was a play you both excelled at most, after all.

At the worst of it all, you can’t understand his harsh voice as he yells “That is enough, [Y/n]!” while slamming his tea cup on the table. The whole room would shake at his warning, but your hunger for answers was much stronger than any fear, so you really can’t understand his fury when you yell back “Father! It is not!” He look at you with sorrow in his heart and his eyes were twisted by a pain you’d never understand, as he could only see her in you. 

“I will not have this conversation with you!” He’d warn again, but you took it as an invitation to push even further. “I don’t know the first thing about my mother, Jing Yuan! Her name? Never heard of it. Her face? Never seen it. Do you not think it is cruel, father?” Hot tears streamed on your perfect porcelain cheeks, smearing the red eyeliner you had painted on. “No one ever speaks about her to me, everyone refuses to. But they all look at me like I’m some kind of…” Your voice trailed off with hard puffs and sobs. “Like I’m some kind of…” 

His own chest puffed and the sight of you felt like a stab to his heart. You couldn’t get your words out, you didn’t need to really. People constantly looked at you in one of two ways, no matter how perfectly you’ve learned to craft your smiles, or how good your tea brewing had became, you were either a charity case they’d pity, or a spoiled brat that knew none of what the real world would offer.

 But despite all of his anger, he was still your father, and as much as he loved to punish himself trough you, he still held back the need of snapping the heads off all of their shoulders. He would reach for the back of your neck with his hand, bringing you into his chest in a half hug. “You are enough. Never forget that.” He’d kiss the crown of your head and inhale the floral smell of your hair. It grounded him, even as you screamed into his chest and pushed him away, his grip stayed firm until you’d shed your last tear and you cried your last sob. 

Because despite of how much you hated to admit it, you were living and breathing for his approval, which you seemed to never ever gain.

Unbeknownst to you, everything about you was just like her. Your face, your hair, even the way you wore your Hanfu  a little out of place with the shawl falling all over the floor when you walked, or your mannerism as you spoke with a tiny accent on your tongue, it was all her and nothing of his except the mole under your left eye. You’ve never met her, he tried to reason. You’ve never seen her or heard of her deeds. Your mother has been an enigma to you ever since you could remember things, and yet the world punished him with her perfect copy in you when he tried to push her memory away the most. 

It felt bittersweet. To the outside eye, general Jing Yuan adored his daughter more than anything else in the world. But underneath the jewellery, there were unaddressed feelings, each pearl you wore for people on the Central Starskiff Heaven to see was a tear unshed, each new dress was a silent apology they’d never hear, each loving promenade you’d have with your father was there to hide for the public a question you asked when the cord was too tensed. One of these days it would snap in half, you were sure of it. 

So who could blame you when it all overflowed? When you could no longer smile in the face of those who envied you and when your father’s emotional absence felt like a hallow painting of what should have really been? When the dresses and the jewels weren’t smothering the pain any longer?

You felt it daily, building up, pressing down, tugging at your smiles until they became frowns and empty stares, and your ever growing depression was evident for anyone that roamed the gardens outside your window at night, as your qin carried into the world the saddest tune your heart feared to voice. And this time, not even a Hanfu made out of golden thread would ease your pain. 

“So, say you, general,” 

Your father hummed back to the woman before him as he placed his piece down on the board. Another noble nodded in agreement with his choice behind him. You saw them all from where you were sitting, fingers strumming the qin in a delicate tune for the whole room to enjoy, while gin purred from flasks and laughter echoed somewhere in the back. It wasn’t like you to agree partaking in parties like these, but how could you turn Jing Yuan down when he asked you to serenade him at the event?

“I would say you’d want to keep your daughter closest to you, am I not right?” The wicked tone in the noble’s voice made you shiver underneath the silver shawl that draped off your shoulders. “Quite so I fear, why is that?” 

“Well, I hoped to reach you when I first heard the news, but I was quite busy, yous see?” The woman, an esteemed elder of the Artisanship Commission, hid her face behind what was possibly the most obnoxious fan you’ve ever seen, and your fingers became stiff on the metal strings of your trusted instrument. “Pardon me?” The general stilled his movements on the xiangqi pieces while the chattering went quiet. Nothing but your trembling notes filled the air.

“You know, I wished to give you my deepest condolences the moment I heard. For your daughter’s… unfortunate situation, that is.” Confused, Jing Yuan tilts his head to where you stood, only to be met with the same questions on your face that you desperately tried to drown as you played your melody. He chuckled awkwardly, then, and returned his attention on the game. “I fear I don’t know what you’re going on about, ma’am.”

“Ah… You know, the fact that your daughter is unable to bear children has quite saddened us all. I was looking forward to sending my son as a potential suitor!” 

If eyes could kill, you would be sure that the place where the woman stood would have become scorched dust. An involuntary scoff left your lips loud enough to draw attention, but you pretended to be engrossed with tuning your qin before beginning to play another piece for the hall. 

“And where have you heard such news, I wonder?” But she held no fear in her eyes. 

“Well, for one, everyone in high society talks about it! You see, your daughter is already past the age of accepting suitors yet has never even been seen with a man, so people assume. That being said I personally was told so by a doctor that works under you, your grace.” 

‘Lies’, you told yourself, but it was not enough to cool the blush you had on your cheeks from embarrassment, no matter how much you have been shamed by the public eye, nothing could compare to this very moment now. 

“Is that so,” Your father trailed off, then placed his piece on the xiangqi board. “Well, from what I know, your son is welcome to send in his suitor application, for my daughter is more than healthy and cared for. In fact, now that I think about it,” But you didn’t wish to hear any more. 

With a sudden move, you jumped from your seat to your feet and rushed to gather the qin underneath its silk cloth. The commotion drew attention to you, and so murmurs begun filling your ears which only fed your ever growing shame. “Please excuse me.” You voiced as you bowed deeply to the room of lords and nobles, then picked up your instrument and hurried to the exit with a strained “Please enjoy the rest of your evening.” 

And you hoped that would be the last you’ve heard of it all, but as fate wanted it, that was far from how things would play. 

“Father! This is ridiculous!” You protested. For all reason and purposes, it really was. 

Not even a full day after what happened, he invited you to serve tea with him in the parlour. You found it odd, as he never requested your presence on Tuesday afternoons, but did not complain as you stepped into the room with haste. 

He took his time finding the courage to face you, and when he understood he would not be able to deliver the news to you with a straight face, he pushed a stack of paper to you without even meeting your eyes. There, in red ink, was your fate sealed by a simple signature. An agreement that had been made without your knowledge or permission, and a wound that would become the reason for the demise of cord that held your family together.

Marriage certificate. 

No one knows what was truly discussed that night in the evening, but what was known was that you’ve fled with tears in your eyes and anger on your face. And for better or for worse, that would become the last time anyone on the Xianzhou Luofu had seen you under the identity of the general’s daughter, for you found no more room in your heart for the pain that followed with it.

“You know, when you put it like that, I do think that green works best with coral!” March eagerly nodded her head, while Dan Heng took his time analysing Himeko’s theory. You and welt only listened to the conversation with one ear, while the other was being filled with questions over questions from Stelle. 

“I don’t believe that’s a wise move.” You chirped as Welt placed the piece down, and you followed with a quick movement that gained you his general. He groaned and pushed his glasses up away while massaging the bridge of his nose. Stelle wowed and wood at your victory, and March leaned from her seat across the express’ parlour with a “really?” look in her eyes. 

“You lost again, M. Yang?” 

“I swear I’m good at this game.” And you chuckled while placing the pieces back into their pouch. “Used is a keyword.” March continued to tease while everyone watched your movements, which, weirdly, felt more calming than before your time on the express. In truth, it was because they never snickered underneath their palms and never cherry picked your posture until you’d get it wrong. 

That being said, you could only care for one person’s eyes alone, and his stare felt like electricity on the back of your neck. 

“How did you learn to play like this, anyways? You’re like a mad genius at these.” Stelle intervened, and you couldn’t help but shiver as your father’s knowing eyes came into your mind. “Ah…” was all that escaped your lips, before you cured your pained expression in a calm and lovely smile. “My father taught me how to play. He always made it so I would win, though. Therefore, for the longest time I believed I was quite bad at it too.” 

Your voice felt like crystal in the quiet room, so quiet and soft to the ear that it was more akin to a melody than a spoken sentence. You never truly talked about your home, never about your family of your past, which is exactly why your friends turned to you with a cocktail of shocked expressions. Despite how polite and proper you always were, whenever someone asked about it, you would have the coldest glare thrown their way, sure, involuntarily, but scary nonetheless, and with time the crew learned to not ask about a past you so much wished to hide.

Despite that, they never judged you for any of it, not even when your friendship has been tried over and over by your cold heart. You were never outright rude per se, but distant hit the nail in the head best. When Himeko would extend an invitation to a “coffee party” for the crew as an example, you refused with a polite smile that felt ripped out of etiquette teaching picture books, saying you prefer tea instead. 

She feared you’d be left out, you feared being the centre of attention. 

“I believe I’ll head in for the day.” You spoke after finishing to arrange the xiangqi pieces on the board. March left out an “Oh…” and you could hear the sad face in her voice. Amongst the others, she was the saddest when you chose to sit the Xianzhou Luofu out, as ever since your addition to the crew, you never turned down an adventure. You explained that your bones hurt from the cold of Jarilo-VI and that you needed a rest, and with Stelle at their side, you were sure they would have no problems getting trough this one trail-blazing adventure. Sure, it was a bit of a shock for Himeko and Welt, but to March? It was a tragedy. Her new bestie leaving her behind? She swore the world would end.

“Please, have a safe journey and a swift return.” 

You nodded your head their way before picking up the xiangqi game and reaching for the door. Your fingers grazed the digital pad just in time to hear Dan Heng’s voice behind you. “I will do the same, didn’t quite finish storing the data bank after Jarilo-VI.” 

And so you ended up side by side, walking trough the corridors of the Express. However, as you stepped past his make-shift room, you found his steps synced with yours still and, confused, you turned to face him and painted one of your signature smiles. Fake but pretty all the same. 

“Can I help you, Dan Heng?”

It was exactly that cold yet perfect, more-like-a-painting-than-an-actual-human attitude that made Dan Heng distrust you from the moment you stepped on the Express. You left everything to speculation in a way in which even your clothes were a mass of black and colourless, without any culture behind or any story at all to tell. Always in a bland attire with no accessories at all. March made fun of you for being so tasteless, but he saw past the appearance.  He saw past the way you acted and into the way you wilded your swords like cranes flying in the wind, the way you prepared and steeped tea, and the way you handled xiangqi and go pieces like a native only could.

He peered into your eyes in a way that made you unravel before him without a single word, and he knew it was to hide a side of you that you’ve hidden deeply to the rest. But not quite to him.

And while he was trying to get over a sense of danger in you, fed by your secrecy, you found peace in his presence. Unbeknownst  to him, he was the one thing that reminded you of home and the good in it despite it all. If your memories were filled with torment and loneliness, he was the smell of freshly baked red bean sticky rice cakes in the market, or the sound of wind chimes in the summer rain. He was all of the little things you wanted to push away but found comfort in, and you didn’t know if you loved it or hated him for it.

“Yes, actually.” He nodded. “I find I can’t sleep as of late and I wanted to try one of your calming brews.” You frowned at his words but gave in without asking much, which he greatly appreciated. “Very well, please join me for some tea tonight, then.” And silence settled between you two as you lead him to your cabin with unease rolling off your shoulders. 

Your room was much like your clothes. Simple and colourless besides the coffer next to your bed, which was unmistakably made with the mastery of a Xianzhou artisanship. But if he noticed it, he didn’t speak on it at all, nor about the low table in the middle of the room that was in the same style, or… well really about anything. You appreciated that most. Even when you settled on the table a traditional set of cups, a clear tea spreading the most enchanting and calming aroma from them, he did not speak a single word.

As he drank, his eyes rested on your covered qin that sat atop your bed, and he did not need to speak for you to understand his intentions. You sat down quietly on the covers, revealing the  simple instrument like a truth you’d usually hide from. And he couldn’t help but watch you with sadness in his heart as you tuned the strings with shaky hands ‘till crystal clear notes echoed trough the room. 

You took a heavy inhale and looked upon the dark ebony wood as if greeting an old friend before propping it on your lap, but couldn’t handle to meet Dan Heng’s eyes. At least not when he stared at you as if he knew every single secret you feared to tell. 

As you raised your hands in the air, getting ready to pull at the string, his own palm engulfed your exposed skin in an unspoken plea, and you couldn’t help but give into his warmth. He pulled gently until your face was buried into his shoulder and his other arm was in your hair, and you didn’t even notice it when silent tears begun to stain the fabric of his coat. He didn’t protest nor ever addressed it, and you preferred the feeling of his body against yours to the coldness of his eyes on a normal day. 

As such, you spent the evening together afterwords. Him silently sipping on the calming tea as the sorrowful yet comforting sound of the qin filled your bedroom, until there were no more tears to shed and the pot on the table had gone cold. 

No one wanted to admit it, but it had to be said. Something changed between you and Dan Heng from then on and the first one to notice it was none other than March. 

They were getting ready to leave the express when she stated it for the whole crew to hear. 

“Is it me or are the two of you like, in love or something now?” She arched one of her eyebrows while her lips rested in a scowl. Now, don’t get her wrong she was more than happy for you two if it was the case, but what she could not stand for was the two of you ditching the adventure to enjoy a date over tea and qin music again. 

“March, what kind of nonsense are you onto again?” You huffed with cherry red ears, while Dan Heng choked on the water he was previously drinking. All she could do was wave her hand while saying “yeah yeah,” over and over with a bored face before they set out on their way, but not before Welt pinned the two of you down with a knowing look.

The express stilled with their absence, reinforced by Pom-Pom who claimed to have some cleaning to do somewhere in the Express and Himeko who had some paperwork to finish. The parlour felt almost empty, despite Dan Heng’s presence right next to you. He still held his fist over his mouth as if preparing to cough, cheeks dusted pink and eyes on the starry sky before you, but he didn’t say a word about what happened. And something in you told you to follow his lead. 

You ate quietly at the sticky rice cake you tried your hand baking, and although the taste was very different from what you remembered, it was still as good as ever. With a tissue all crumpled up in your hand, you resulted to watching the sky along side your new friend, eyeing the stars one by one as they passed by. Yet you found your eyes sliding lower and lower from the window to the man before you, who you found already watching you with wide eyes. As if caught in headlights, he stammered out an incoherent string of words but did not move his gaze, not even as his body leaned to yours until his hand grazed your chin. 

You shuddered at his icy touch, but did not dare to move, not even as his fingertips reached for your lips. He gently wiped your lips then brought his thumb to his own mouth, licking off the excess red bean cream from the cake, and you were absolutely sure your face would explode from how hot it get in that very moment. “You had a bit,” He started, but his mouth closed shut when he noticed the dazed stare in your eyes. “Oh aeons, I didn’t make you uncomfortable, did I?” His voice shook and his own ears turned scarlet red, only now realising what he has done. You shook your head, head turning  so you could focus on the floor as if the tiles below your feet were now the best sight you have ever seen. “Ah, not at all! I was just surprised, ‘tis all.” Your sweaty palm gripped the tissue tighter. “Would you like some?” And Dan Heng looked at the half eaten cake you extended to him with an expression you’ve ever seen him give March or Stelle. He stared at the cake in his hands with a wholehearted fondness. “Yeah.” Was all he could manage to whisper back.

And somewhere in the back, you swore you heard Himeko giggle to herself. 

The same evening, you would hear three soft knocks on your door in the dead of night. There, in the hallway, with a sweat filled forehead and uneasy complexion, stood Dan Heng, and you would be a fool not to extend a hand to him when he begged for help with his tired eyes. 

“Quit hiding!” The criminal’s voice rang trough your head like a broken mantra. “Your true form… reveal it!” Dan Heng did his best to dodge the maniac attacks, all while you and Yanqing stood in an awkward stalemate in the middle of the platform.

Your blade screeched against Yanqing’s, but it was like fighting fire with fire, simply useless. No matter how lowkey you’ve been upon reaching the Xianzhou, he needed one singular look to know exactly who you were, even underneath the mask that covered the lower half of your face.

“You, little..” You trailed off with effort. Despite his usual sense of justice, that you’ve always commanded, his attacks felt awfully biased as he strikes your blade repeatedly with his icy ones. His technique felt as familiar as home did, her teaching seeping in his bones trough and trough, but so did  your father’s into yours, which you’ve had much more time to perfect than the little lapdog did. 

“Move, you idiot!” And with one harsh push of your blade, the young boy was off his feet, giving you enough time to reach Blade before he could get any damage done on Dan Heng. You yelled with each strike you struggled to par, until his crazy red eyes widened in glee and his sword flew from his hands and right by your chin. The sound of your friend’s cry in agony and the blade tearing trough skin and bone made you pause, and horror struck you as you refused to turn around and to even acknowledge what had happened. “You!” Was all you could let out, sword still pointed straight to Blade’s neck.

“I have news for you.” He laughed, and you took a step back. You would lie if you said your insides didn’t churn with fear, even as he was left completely disarmed before you.

“Behind you… Is none other,” The sound of water engulfed your ears as your head snapped back. “Than the traitor of the Xianzhou. A criminal, forever banished!” Your eyes widened as the barrier around Dan Heng rippled, leaving a water-made dragon to escape with rage all over its face. It roared and turned in the air, coiling until it fell right back to where it came from, and when light and wind filled the platform, you couldn’t help but shield your form with your arms. 

“The High Elder of the Vidyadhara… Imbibitor Lunae.” 

The hold on your sword weakened. You shuddered as the man you grew so attached to revealed himself before you in a form you’ve recognised from your father’s tales. Long silky hair and cold green eyes, horns and tail and lotus flowers and everything that made the Vidyadhara so revered. You could hardly believe your eyes. With a weak step forward, you pulled at the mask to reveal your strained expression, sword falling to your side numbly. 

“You really believed that the Stellaron Hunters were the only ones to infiltrate the Xianzhou?” 

Cold air begun pulling at your hair, and you shook off your stupor when Yanqing begun summoning his ice swords. Your body acted before your mind did at the new threat and your sword was back up within seconds, posture ready for a clash. 

“A wanted criminal, a banished person and a deserter. In this case, I will bring all three of you to justice!” 

The fight ended before it could even begin properly. Yanqing was strong, but Jingliu’s teaching could only get him so far against the three of you. Blade begun striking without mercy, taunting you and Dan Heng for holding back. “What’s wrong, your grace? Scared to harm the boy?” The criminal laughed as you sent only one out of the spirit swords you summoned towards Yanqing. Flashes of electricity begun shining trough your hair with anger, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do more. Not  even when Dan Heng delivered the final strike with a silent apology. 

Yanqing’s knees begun to buckle just as Kafka yelled “All of you, listen to me - stop!” 

You couldn’t help but stumble back, swords falling out of existence as Dan Heng’s feet stepped back on the floor and Blade’s weapon vanished before your eyes. “Well, Bladie? Are you satisfied?” She mused and he only hummed in response. 

“…What did you do?” Dan Heng called after a moment of silence. “Just clearing the stage for the grand entrance. Can’t have the four of you misbehaving in front of the Luofu’s hotshot general.” Your shoulders stiffened as a familiar laughter filled the platform. All heads turned towards the sight, yet you stayed rooted on your feet, back turned and head shaking in denial. “No, not like this.” You whispered. 

“Jing Yuan,” Blade huffed. “General!” Yanqing followed. 

The man stared at the sighed before him with a knowing smile just as you got the courage to turn and face him. If he felt anything upon the sight of you, he did not show it. “Many years have passed since the three of you have departed the Xianzhou, and yet the circumstances of your return appear to be equally unhappy. If you still thought of me as a friend,” His eyes went straight to yours, unspoken words weighting you down as you found it harder and harder to breathe. ‘As family’ was what he wished to say, yet he held back. “You should’ve forewarned me.” 

“My task is complete.” Was all the blade said. “Mhm. That it is.” Your father laughed in return. “Thank you for assisting the Xianzhou in this small matter. Take this person away, I will pretend I didn’t see anything this time.” He stated harshly despite Yanqing’s protest. Jing Yuan then stared at Dan Heng as the two Stellaron Hunters made their way to the boat at the edge of the platform. “It has been a long time, old friend.” But your friend answered harshly. “I’m not him.” 

“Mh. I’m sorry. You cannot leave yet, however. Your astral express friends are still waiting for you in Scalegorge Waterscape. Shall we go and see them together? And you…” The moment you have been trying to prepare yourself for most had arrived, and your father’s smile died on his lips as his eyes analysed your face. 

“I missed you terribly, my sweet flower.” Dan Heng stiffened next to you, but his hand fingertips grazed yours in protectiveness, to which you could only respond by accepting his palm into yours. The familiar nickname brought tears into your eyes, and despite the coldness of his face, your father’s voice felt like a familiar little tune you new by heart. Like a warm hug when you needed it most. How you wished you could’ve just forgotten it all and jumped into his chest, just like how you did when you were nothing but a sprout on two legs. 

“That being said, we will continue this conversation later. I’m afraid your friends might be in trouble, you see.”

You didn’t know how time had passed so fast, more like a blur than anything, truthfully. Your eyes were opened wide on the platform between the Xianzhou and Scalegorge Waterscape, blade in hand and senses aware as you parred each of the attacks your way. Then you blinked, and when you reopened them, a familiar sight greeted you. 

Three cups of steaming green tea on a low rise table, a board of xiangqi and pieces of go scattered all over the table. A sacred silence engulfed the room, besides the occasional sound of the chess pieces falling into place, and none of you could bring yourselves to shatter it just yet. 

Dan Heng watched you play with patience while occasionally bringing the cup to his lips, now back into the form you grew so familiar with. You hated to admit it, but his presence comforted you. It gave you the strength to hold yourself together in a situation in which you would have certainly shattered if alone, and your father’s keen eye did not glass over that fact. 

You sighed peacefully when your chariot was finally occupied in the middle of the palace, on your father’s side, in a perfect centroid checkmate. The man before you leaned back and sighed, a puzzled expression on his face. “You just had to go and get better than me at this game, did you not?” But you didn’t answer. You still didn’t know what to say, really. Were you feeling guilty for deserting your spot as a cloud knight? For leaving your father behind? Or for bailing on your responsibilities as his daughter? Well, no not quite, so apologising for it felt…strained and forced. But one thing felt real as your eyes met his and Dan Heng’s hand reached for yours across the table. You missed him terribly just as much. 

“Every single day that passes shapes you more and more like her.” He added. “I wish you could’ve been by my side for them all.” 

“Jing Yuan…” You whispered back, but he didn’t let you finish. “If your mother was here with us today, I assure you, my sweet flower, that things would have been so different.” For a moment, you could hear nothing but your heart beating against your chest.

“You are just like her. And I truly mean it. Your face, your personality, darn it all even the way you speak. And, as your father, I wish I could’ve offered you a better life.” 

“You did all you could.” Funny how even now, you were the one to reach with a warm heart, how you were the one to comfort and forgive, even when his heart couldn’t yield. 

“Not quite. I was foolish and believed that a firm hand would prepare you for the cruelty of the world. I failed to see, no. I failed to change when I saw that it was harming you more than anything.” You let out a sigh you’ve held in for a very long time and closed your eyes, a last attempt at holding in the tears you wished so disparately to shed. 

“I love you, father. Nothing will ever change that. However,” Despite how your hand shook in Dan Heng’s, your voice stood firm, and as you opened your eyes, both men shivered at their determination. “An apology, no matter how needed, will never make up for what has been. If this is your way of asking me to stay, I fear I’ve made my choice.” 

But his ever knowing smile was back on his lips, and his laughter caught you off guard. Your fingers tightened on Dan Heng’s fingertips, who had stayed quiet as you and your father voiced what both of you ever feared to before. 

“You see, that was not my intention. That being said, if you ever did wish to return, there will always be room for you into my arms, my darling flower.” And you only nodded back, lips slightly parted in surprise. 

“We should head out.” Dan Heng whispered to you after the tea had been finished and the conversation ended. He tapped the skin of your palm with gentle fingers, a quiet way of asking for your attention. His eyes were stricken with tiredness, and you doubted that yours were any better, excusing the puffiness brought by your tears. 

“Ah yes, I forgot!” The general mused. “There is no need to return to that hotel for the night. I asked for your room to be prepared, for you and your lover here. So you could rest comfortably before leaving.” The moment could be best described by a broken record being pulled abruptly from its recorder and screeching in your head. You eyed Dan Heng who refused to meet your gaze and who’s ears became scarlet red once more. “Father!” You protested. “He- He’s not-”

“Save it, [Y/n]. At least invite me if you do ever get married.” 

“Dad!” Shame engulfed you as you pushed Dan Heng out of the room all while the sound of Jing Yuan’s laughter taunted you from behind the doors of the seat of Devine Foresight. You couldn’t help but whisper muffled apologies into your hand that tried to shield your burning face from anyone that would watch, which in truth was as effective as searching for a needle in a haystack. 

What you didn’t expect was for Dan Heng’s hand to find yours and move it away, revealing cherry red cheeks that matched his own. He cleared his voice before leaning in just enough for his breath to fan over your ear as your back met the closed doors behind you. “I would not mind if I was.” He whispered before his velvet soft lips rested against the exposed skin of the back of your palm. You were sure your knees would’ve given in if it wasn’t for his arm that hooked around your waist, bringing you so close to him you shuddered. 

“I really would not mind it.” 

Later that evening, as his teeth grazed your exposed skin before kissing it with sweet words of praise, as your hands intertwined and your bodies became one under the silk sheets of your bed, you could tell that your heart began singing a familiar tune. With each kiss from Dan Heng’s, a new feeling invaded your senses. You were home. Here with him, in this very moment. You were home in his arms. 

And you wouldn’t changed it for anything else. 

Yes, not even as March yells “I fucking knew it!” the next morning, for the whole of Xianzhou Luofu to hear, upon seeing your neck caked in love marks you had no means of hiding and your hand held tightly by Dan Heng, who only smiled back to everyone as you buried your face into his chest with shame. 

[mmhcs]

Miguel O'Hara x Tall!Reader

A/N: (I haven't seen many fics covering this topic so I thought that I'd throw my hat in the ring today). This is dedicated to all the tall girls out there! Y'all are beautiful and amazing!

Warnings: Slightly suggestive, but mostly SFW focus on legs, reader is female(if you'd like to see a gender-neutral version, please let me know!), reader is described as having a curvier lower body (only at one point, though), Miguel is absolutely head-over-heels for reader (pun-intended!)

Okay, y'all. Look at this man. He is 6'9". Big. Very big. Often times, he's the biggest person in the room. Tall and intimidating. And while he likes that (he is the big, scary boss. Hear him roar!), there are times in which he wishes that there was somebody who could relate to him. Like, do you know how hard it is to find shoes at 6'9"?

Now, don't get him wrong, Miguel loves women of all shapes and sizes. Short, tall, average height, skinny, chubby - he doesn't care. But when he saw you? It was like he had a spiritual awakening. Seeing you walk down the hallways of the Spider Society, suit hugging your curves...It did something to him.

Especially when he saw the mold of your legs. For the first time in a long time, Miguel felt himself getting a little nervous. Never had he seen another Spider dominate the room like you did. During your first few days, people used to stare whenever you entered the room - not out of fear as they did with him - but out of awe. You were gorgeous but your height - it just took you over the top.

From your first day forward, all Miguel would hear about is you.

"Did you see the new Spider?" "Yeah, she's really tall! What do you think she does in her professional life? Model?" "Oh my gosh, look at her! She looks good in that suit!"

Whenever you and Miguel would have conversations, he found it hard to focus. First, you have a stunning face but those legs? Oh, he was a goner. Though he had only seen you with in your Spider-suit, Miguel couldn't help but take a liking to your legs. Your thighs, though comprised of muscle - jiggled when you walked, and your calves looked as firm as his demeanor on a bad morning. Miguel had never had a thing for legs before (or at least not to his knowledge) but now he found himself fascinated by your legs and their length and angles. He could spend days worshipping the curvature between your calves and thighs.

When Miguel finally does see you out of uniform? He needs to leave the room. Don't ask why, he just does.

When you two finally start dating, Miguel can't take his eyes off of you. All he can do is stare (mainly at your legs) and thank Padre Dios that he managed to pull you into his life.

But, while what initially made you stand out to Miguel was your height, it actually doesn't play that big of a role in your relationship. As time goes on and lust simmers into love, you and Miguel are just a regular couple.

Though he doesn't spend much time in his home (or didn't until you), Miguel's space is tailor-made for him. Meaning chairs, couches, tables, and shelves big and high enough to accommodate him and his height. While a small thing to note, he's glad that he finally has someone doesn't find issue with it all.

Miguel is aware of the of the stereotypes and jabs thrown at girls of your stature and so he does his best to constantly remind you that you are beautiful, attractive, feminine, etc.

If you're shorter than him (doesn't even matter if it's an inch), he likes to crack short jokes with you here and there.

"Bebita, come look at this!" Miguel yells from his in front of your bedroom's television. "What is it, Miguel?" you ask, peaking your head out of the bathroom. "They say it's going to be windy today," He juts his chin towards the TV screen before refocusing on tying his tie. "Take precaution." "Miguel," you scoff. "What? I don't want you getting swept up by the wind." "Okay, firstly, you know damn well-"

If you're taller than him, Miguel also has jokes for that.

"Bebita, could you please pass me that plate over there?" Miguel asks, pointing his chin at a cabinet shelf that is directly at eye level with him. "Miguel," you give him a pointed look. He shrugs at you, continuing to wash the dishes. "Hey, don't put things up so high if you don't want me to ask you to get them." (For the next week, you started putting all the dishes in the bottom drawer)

The jokes, however, are only reserved for him. If anyone else makes a joke about your height, Miguel gets upset. Just ask Hobie. One time, Hobie asked you how you couldn't tell him what the weather was like from up there (all in good fun) and Miguel, who had no context of the conversation and walked in at the wrong time almost crucified him.

Miguel secretly loves how you two look together. As the head of the Spider Society (again, he likes to be the big, scary boss man), he enjoys the presence that you two create together. Domineering, commanding. Whether you two are in uniform or formal clothing - when you two talk, people listen.

If you work out, Miguel loves to go to the gym with you. Not only because he likes to see you in workout gear (though trust him, that is a very, very, very big plus) but because he finally has somebody who understands the struggle of putting on (visible) muscle.

Miguel loves kisses with you. He's always been very big physical touch in relationships but never before has it been so easy to just steal a kiss. And so, it has been become his favorite pastime.

Miguel loves to see you in dresses and shorts and heels. Anything that accentuates your height. Sometimes when you come home, you see a dress or a new pair of shoes that you've been wanting. However, other times, you find an article of clothing or shoes from a brand that you didn't even know existed. But if it's jeans or a maxi dress, they always cover your legs, if it's a regular shirt, your stomach isn't exposed, and whatever it is always looks good on you.

Sometimes when cuddling, Miguel will just start tracing and/or kneading random parts of your body because there's just so much of you to love and he doesn't know where to start.

At the end of each and every day, no matter if you're taller or shorter than him, Miguel likes to make you feel safe and protected. He likes to play the role of protector/provider and makes you feel taken care of and comfortable.

Bonus: "Your children are going to be some stallions, ain't they?" Hobie says, looking between you and Miguel. You laugh but Miguel glares at him with a scowl that would make most start running for the hills. "Stallions, eh?" you repeat later that night, in bed with him. While not a fan of you slowly assimilating to Hobie's humor, Miguel chuckles dryly and pulls you closer to him. "Indeed," he says, placing a kiss to the top of your head.

[nu1lst4rs]

doodled human designs for a few neutral aus! (pt.1)

(click for better quality)

can you tell i lost motivation... thank you to chandr for doing the last 3's lineart for me. legit couldn't get freshs colours to fit with the rest. eugh. its the best you're going to get out of us for these guys.

Nightmares gang, star sanses, neu au pt.2, extras

COLOUR, CLASSIC, PAPYRUS, EPIC and ANY REQUESTS will be in the next neu au post 3_^ so please please request me to draw neutral peoples... gonna open general requests in a separate post.

some hcs under the cut!

warning for alot... i mean.. alot of text..

> Ccino (he/they)

indian... ccino... mbghbgb. MAINLY BECAUSE I WAS EATING GULAB JAMUNS AND I WAS LIKE "huh this reminds me of ccino."

trans masc! you should be more surprised if someone wasn't trans at this point

just for individuality, i feel like he'd have cat features. toe beans, tail, but no ears. personal preference.

hopeless romantic. wants to fall in love so bad, like so bad. but doesn't have anyone to fall in love with.

his AU is a neutral where the player killed all bosses. because of this, ink had offered them a pocket AU with just their cafè. ccino still visits their old au from time to time, but otherwise lives in the cafè.

one of the youngest AU's/sanses, only a few hundred years old

> error (he/they/xe)

spanish + colombian

as a divergence from classic, he maintains a similar body shape. also the fact he eats nothing but chocolate.

^ similarly, his eye is covered by a star glitch. xe never equates this to the fact they were geno, and just see it as some weird cool glitch.

rocks an alliance with both NM and dream, so wears both the stars pin and gangs patch. he always choses the side of who benefits him the most in that moment. neither of the groups are happy about it, but see error as too valuable to deny.

has arthritis and bad joints. his strings usually dig into his fingers, causing scaring and pain. (bsp related: he gets taught how to relieve these pains by nms gang because they all have chronic pains of some kind)

taking strings from his eyes is PAINFUL. its basically his unraveled code and magic combined, glitching and stuttering.

illiterate. he cannot read anything but code.

brother of ink. annoying brothers that HATE eachother. but love eachother at the same time.

> cross (they/he)

spanish. it fits him. and its relatively canon.

cross is indecisive. they've jumped between nightmares gang and the stars several times, easily being swayed. as of my AU right now, they're with the stars.

they're colourblind! their AU was monochrome, and thats how they see everything. everything is just a shade of purple. he's never told people about it, but most people catch onto ir.

autism. cross has horrible sensory issues, and gets overwhelmed easily. also bad at social queues.

THIS MAN IS THE DEFINITION OF DOG POETRY. they would go on pinterest daily and cry about it.

is a great artist. ink taught him the basics when they were stuck in the void, so they built on it. they're really self conscious about it, and keep their sketchbook locked away tightly. (in their bedside drawer)

> reaper (he/him)

egytpian. i feel like he'd embody their idea of dying.

bird claws. bird wings. everything bird.

seen as a parental figure to dream and nightmare because of his extensive knowledge of the universe and balance n all that.

(THE GAY FLAG WAS A MISTAKE) he's bi. and loves his wife. (life)

aroace spec! completely ace, and demiromantic.

sorry guys i dont have the best hcs for him 💔

> geno (he/they)

spanish + colombian

needs a portable oxygen tube to breath. he can live without it, but its really painful to not have it.

some parts of his body are decomposed, while others are held together through determination. practically constant agony.

same reasoning as error for body shape.

> fresh (they/it)

parasite. its ass doesn't have a race nor nationality.

not the hotest with a few sanses. dream and nightmare don't like someone demeanour not being affected in the slightest by the amount of pain and agony they're in. error hates how the code overlaps and glitches. and overall they're just a bit crazy.

wears either heelies or rollerskates. refuses to EVER walk anywhere, and always rolls.

i don't got much for him.

eugh. i am so sorry if the hcs are lazy, i am not good hcing with aus im not familiar with. if anyone wants to input please do! i'd love to learn about them. <3 anyways i am sleeping because i need to stop staying up till 4am..

[kutasputas]

About Messmer and Rellana

Spoilers will be under the cut, so if you haven't seen anything regarding these characters and you don't want to get spoiled, please scroll/click away‼️‼️

So regarding this post from (basically) yesterday, I want to expand on this topic a little and compile some bits I've seen people use as proof that Rellana and Messmer were in love and why I think it was most likely unrequited love on Rellanas part. I want to actually visit each of these points separately.

I will provide a link to each item description as it relates to each point where available. If there is no link, then it is because the point is self evident, (her sword having his flame) or there was no link I could find (the room where her shield is found) (since edited). If you know any lore or extra bits that I've missed, please do let me know and provide a source.

So on to the points I have personally seen:

She abandoned everything to "chase after Messmer"

She was given a sword imbued with his flames

There is a room in the Shadow Keep that has blue fire (like seen in Caria Manor and other locations associated with the moon) where you find Rellanas shield EDIT: added images to the appropriate section

She came to be known as "Messmers Sword" and was extremely devoted to him, even though she knew "the moon brilliance of the moon could not grant him succor"

Okay, so, starting with the first point:

She abandoned everything to chase after Messmer

I genuinely believe that could range from anything between platonic and romantic. With Messmer specifically, we see many people who showed similar devotion to him by abandoning their homes and swearing their undying fealty to him. Without further context, there's really nothing I can see that can be used in either direction to make this any more concrete, so I'll just move on.

She was given a sword imbued with his flame

I think point 2 is undoubtedly the weakest, as the Fire Knights were given swords blessed with his flames as well. In fact, all of Messmers soldiers had weapons blessed with his flame, or used his incantations. We see this with even the most basic Messmer soldier in game, so this point in specific I find rather baseless.

A room modeled after Raya Lucaria

I assume the reasoning behind using this as proof that they are in love is that it would be assumed Messmer himself modeled this room after Rellanas home out of his affection for her or something similar, and while that could be true given Fromsofts love of environmental storytelling, I do think this is too shaky to use as actual concrete evidence. Keep in mind, it is in a storeroom in the keep, and if you look, on the many levels of each of the rooms, we see numerous books, tablets, and other items used for study or knowledge, and many of them are based in different cultures and factions in the setting of the world, so having an area that would contain information regarding Raya Lucaria and associated magic or glinstone sorcery as a whole doesn't feel far fetched to me. Conversely, Messmer is shown to be very benevolent and caring towards those in his charge, so it would also be reasonable to assume that he would allow for her to have that part of the storehouse be modeled in a way that invokes feelings of home for her. But I don't necessarily believe that has to be romantic. I have no specific points to make on the contents of the shield itself, but I will link her shields description for any who want to read it.

EDIT: it seems to be an armory specifically. There are no books, and there are only shields and lances. Sorry I couldn't get a photo with all of the furniture intact, the Fire Knight destroyed it all... That said, I'm not sure if this being an armory would change any context, really.

She came to be known "as Messmers Sword"

This, again, doesn't feel concrete to me, as far as proving anything happening between them. After all, not only were many of his soldiers incredibly devoted to him, but the Fire Knights in specific were the ones who knew him best, and each of them were the ones who answered directly to Messmer, as well as wielding weapons with his flame and his incantations in tandem. They were closest to him. And then there's Gaius, who was outright stated to be Messmers friend and the leader of his men. Lastly, I think being devoted to someone does not always imply romantic love, nor does the title of being their instrument of battle. Blade of Miquella is Malenias title, and I do not believe those two are romantically involved.

Some additional thoughts

I would honestly say that the most convincing piece of evidence to suggest that there were romantic feelings on Rellanas part comes from her sword, which reads: "here, and here alone, were moon and fire ever together." This, to me, is far better evidence that there were deeper feelings on her part than just devotion. However, it also clearly states how they were never together, which I feel is very much the most important part of all of this.

However, in general, while I do believe that all of the in-game lore suggests she may have had romantic feelings for him, I also think it could be as deep as pure devotion. We see it everywhere in this world, both in base game and the DLC. Malenia, Blaidd, Leda, Ansbach... Radahn and Leonard. (sorry) Devotion is seen in all corners of this setting. Messmer in particular seemed to inspire a great deal from many different places and in many people, so it's not entirely impossible that it would be the same for Rellana, though I do believe she has unrequited love for him.

Another thing to keep in mind is Messmers situation. He is cursed and was waging a cleansing war on untold numbers. He is slowly being eaten away at by a serpent that resides in his body, and that says nothing of the flame in him that he utterly despises. He also clearly has many issues where Marika is involved. All of this, coupled with the information that the Fire Knights were the only ones who truly knew and understood Messmer, it feels to me like romance would not only be something he was not concerned with, but also something he might not allow himself. I feel like he's far more worried about more important things.

In closing

At the end of the day, the nature of these games is that of vague droplets of information, even with the most important story beats. So unless there is something I've missed, I genuinely believe there is nothing in the game suggesting that they were in love with each other or that Messmer in any way returned her feelings, and in fact I think the game suggest the exact opposite: that Rellanas feelings were one sided. However, the only person who could say for certain is Miyazaki, and something tells me he wouldn't care to elaborate on this.

So until supplementary material is released that reveals new information or there is lore within the game that I have not seen or has not yet been found, I'd have to say I think it's relatively certain that they were not romantically involved, and that the feelings were very one sided, if any romantic feelings existed at all.

[mamsbaby]

contents: possessive!levi x gn!reader, nsfw (+18), unprotected sex, rough sex, overstimulation, petnames (baby), praise

based on this req.

leviathan wouldn’t exactly categorise himself as obsessive or anything of the sort. he just… likes what’s his. he likes keeping what is his. he likes that you know that you’re his.

it becomes increasingly apparent in the way your neck and chest are always littered with marks and bites, and in the way his tail always seems to be wrapped around you in one way or another.

whenever you’re just hanging out or levi is near in general, you find the devious little thing sneaking up and wrapping around your thigh. it likes digging into your skin slightly just to make you aware that it’s there. or rather, he likes it, you think.

there’s no doubt in your mind that levi can control his tail. he might smile apologetically if you complain, stating that it’s subconscious, but it always finds its way back, dragging along your skin, going dangerously close to your crotch, but never quite crossing that line.

you can’t really remember how you ended up here. you think it might have had something to do with mammon, but any attempt at stringing together a coherent thought is long gone.

you’re in levi’s tub, with him lying on top of you. his tail is wrapped around your waist, and his arm is keeping you in a headlock. you’re lying on your stomach, with the side of your face and your body squished into various blankets and pillows underneath you.

his other hand is digging into your hip, his legs on either side of you, so he can bully his cock into your sensitive walls, meanly thrusting in so deep that you swear you can feel him in your stomach.

you’re not even sure how long he’s been going at it, but cum is pooling down underneath you, wetting the blankets. a loud, squelching noise can be heard whenever he thrusts into your abused hole, and you’d have half a mind to feel embarrassed about it if you weren’t so fucked out of your mind.

his head is buried in the crook of your neck, and he whines and moans into your skin, occasionally licking and biting your shoulder. “fuck, you feel so good. want you to cum again,” leviathan whines into your ear before licking along a stripe of your tears trailing down your cheek. he hums at the salty taste and gives you a peck.

“can you do that for me? cum on my cock, please,” he says, and you shake your head, a loud whine leaving you as his cock hits that perfect spongy spot inside of you.

“nggh, it’s too much, levi, please,” you say, but levi frowns. he’s lost count of the times he’s felt your walls flutter and tighten around him, but he thinks he might die if he doesn’t get to feel it at least a couple of times more. it’s like the knowledge that he can make you cum so hard that you lose all sense slightly comforts the angry orange monster in the pit of his stomach.

“but you would if mammon was the one fucking you, wouldn’t you?”

the other demon’s name slightly pulls you out of your haze, and your breath hitches. “no, baby, i’m not–“ you try to comfort leviathan, but you’re interrupted by a loud moan as he bottoms out, effectively knocking your breath out of you.

he straightens up and pulls your hips up, so it’s easier for him to hit your sweet spot. before you can react, he grabs your wrists and pins them behind your back.

“say,” thrust “you’re,” thrust “mine,” thrust. each word is punctuated by a mean thrust that makes a string of curses leave you as your eyes roll back. you helplessly droll onto the pillow under you as levi’s tail moves to your genitals to aid along your incoming orgasm.

“say it,” levi says, and you relent as you feel your orgasm crash over you. black spots dot your vision, and you shake underneath him. “yes, haah, i’m yours, i’m yours, i’m yours, i promise,” you sob, followed by a string of moans and slurred calls of levi’s name.

you feel him fill you up with his hot cum, and he moans out your name. he lets go of your hands, and they fall down beside your face as you go limp underneath him. he fucks you through both of your orgasms, his tail still playing with you till you grow twitchy and whiny.

you feel completely boneless as levi slips out and you’re pulled into his lap. you look up at him with lidded eyes to find the levi you know has returned. his eyes scan your body, eyebrows furrowed in concern at the various bruises on your body.

“i’m sorry, baby, was i too rough?” he asks, and you shake your head, nestling into his chest. “mmmmh, no, i liked it,” you reply. you kiss his collarbone as he picks you up and moves you towards his bathroom.

you’re placed on the bathroom counter, and he begins to run a bath for you both to sink into. after a while, he returns to you, cleaning your body with a wet cloth.

you smile tiredly. “want me to say it again, baby?” you ask. he looks at you with confusion. “what?” he asks, and you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him close. his tail subconsciously wraps around your ankle, caressing your leg, and you smile.

“i’m yours,” you say, kissing his nose. levi’s cheeks flush, and he avoids your eyes. “i’m yours, levi,” you repeat, this time kissing him on the lips.

“and you’re mine.” those words make levi grin as he sheepishly meets your eyes. you feel his cock twitch to life against your stomach, and you look down with wide eyes.

levi’s tail tightens around your ankle.

“round two before our bath?”

masterlist | ao3

[max1461]

Motivated by this post by @eightyonekilograms, although not a direct response to it (just some general thoughts I have). This is not a defense of making unsubstantiated claims in academic articles!

I think bullshitting has always been totally normalized and uncontroversial in most spaces, except very carefully cultivated ones with strong anti-bullshitting mechanisms. I've been saying this for years: people's words don't actually mean anything much of the time! Normal people do not ask themselves if something is true before saying it. They say it because it sounds good, or feels right, or they expect it will please their audience. This is not some unique quirk of this or that political faction, it's the near-universal nature of the human social world. You can't, like, just go around literally believing people on things (unless they give you a really good reason to do so) or you'll find yourself totally epistemically adrift.

You also can't go around demanding evidence from people on every claim they make, because you don't have the time for that and neither do they. Beyond that, if they're telling you some shit about their personal life it's very often (I might even say: almost always) best to treat it as true regardless of whether it actually is or not, for both practical and moral reasons (the latter related to respecting others' autonomy).

So what does one do? In my opinion:

Practice passive skepticism. When you hear a new claim, don't start by evaluating its truth value! You probably don't even have the requisite background knowledge to do that effectively anyway, and you probably don't need to know the truth value of every random claim the people around you make (most of it has little relevance to you). Just suspend judgement on shit by default. This also means you won't easily be duped, because you're not in the habit of believing (or disbelieving!) random claims that you hear. Only actually go to the trouble of making a truth deliberation if you're genuinely interested in a claim, or genuinely need to know its truth value for some practical reason. You can hold a claim in your head for years "just in case", and then deliberate on it when doing so actually serves you instead of right when you hear it, and you'll be able to do it right instead of doing it in a hurry. Stop with the relentless truth-seeking! It's not a good strategy.

Get comfortable just going along with what other people are saying to you while your judgement is suspended, or even while you actively disagree (as long as you judge the disagreement not to be of practical or personal relevance). I think people worry about... accidentally coming to believe something, just because they've gone along with it? Well, don't do that. You're an independent mind with your own set of epistemic standards; apply them! But (this is social advice, not epistemic advice): you don't always need to be externalizing them, vocalizing them! That will get you into needless bullshit arguments over bullshit that you already know is likely bullshit, which you could have just avoided. Determine for yourself what you think is true, on the inside, and vocalize it when it's relevant or desirable to do so.

Uh, probably some other stuff that I forgot while I was writing this, whatever.

People are really wonderful, they are wonderful creatures, but they don't mainly use language for conveying truth (that's a common misconception) and if you go into life expecting that they will, they will come out looking horrible! But truth-seeking is not the main thing most people understand language to be for, and this isn't wrong, it's a perfectly valid use! I myself do all kinds of stuff with language other than truth-seeking; in fact, as articulated above, most of my truth-seeking does not involve linguistic exchange at all (or, well, it does, but it's linguistic exchange that doesn't superficially look like it's related to truth-seeking). Uh. And you don't have to be a liar to do any of this, I mean you can tell people honestly "I don't really know" about something on which you have suspended judgement if they ask. You can be perfectly open about your passive skepticism (and why shouldn't you be, it is a desirable state of mind IMO). So yeah.

[thatbitcheryextras]

Hi <3

I wanted to ask two questions, If you are comfortable answering.

One being can i ask what sources of money do you have? (Of course, please give vague answers and i am not even asking anything specific. I am currently 20 and I wanted to get an idea of where to start when it comes to making money)

Second, if you invest in stocks, what are your best strategies to navigate them? Since stocks can definitely be a little risky.

Thankyou!

Absolutely, I am very comfortable. No numbers, of course, but I can give a general idea of my financial journey, financial life and any tips that I've learned so far.

Let's start with my financial journey over the past decade. I'm 24 now btw.

Glossary, aka things to keep in mind.

I'm an immigrant from a third world country, dirt poor family (third world kind of dirt poor, do the math)

I live in one of the most expensive areas of a first world country, have since I was 14. So for a decade now.

Since I was a scholarship kid my school did provide some allowance, which was a joke to say the least. & I couldnt speak the language and language class cost money AND my third world little self had never been on a horse before or fencing or any of the fancy extra curriculums and extra classes cost money, which I couldn't avoid because I was on merit scholarship & we got graded on extracurriculars and if I failed I go hoooome.

Which is where my financial journey started, 14. Found a part time and worked within campus and realized real quick unless you're doing it for experience part time jobs are horrible because they take so much time and are so mentally taxing and the people can be so crude and you get paid peanuts, not worth it. BUT my part time allowed me access to the library and you know what they say about knowledge and power (which , btw, is when I read my first copy of Laws Of Power and The Prince, so it wasn't completely useless) and as an international student I wasn't allowed to have jobs outside campus or even leave without school supervision and mandate.

So then, my first (business?) ever that taught me all I needed to know about running a business back then and the ONLY business that made sense- Trading Forex. There werent many yt channels back then so I lost a LOT and studied every second I could spare & I remember my first gain was around 500$. Posh school so that was peanuts but at least it was something. What made it workable is

Isn't time or labor intensive. 20 minutes max early morning and late night

Mentally taxing & requires high analytical skills and pattern recognition so kinda makes you smarter

Isn't capital intensive, I started with about 50$.

Is a lifelong knowledge. I no longer do it but if you woke me up at 3 am I'd easily trade. Nothing has changed.

24/7 market so any time any place as long as you have a broker and the internet and a smartphone you got it

Lesson 2: ponzi scheme. Here's the thing- pyramid schemes are ponzi schemes .that easy. We all know this but in my defense I was a teenager and the prospect of making 300% profit in three months (how could I not see this lol) seemed great. If you don't know where the money is coming from don't invest it's that simple.

My first real investment was 20$ in real estate investment trust (REIT). 20 Because I was still nursing the pain of losing tangible money in some dumb little ponzi scheme. Then realized wait I know NOTHING about money and was too scared to ask my schoolmates bc where I'm from we don't talk about money (no wonder we were dirt broke lol).

Social climbing 101 was a second year thing and one of the friends I made had a brother working in finance, so on the weekend I called in a favor and scheduled a call with him and it was quite eye opening. The little I knew about finance applied to my country only so I desperately needed CoR (country of Residence) perspective, & because of my age and nationality I couldn't really invest much, most I could do was save so that's what I did. Forex and Save. To be clear I hated doing Forex, I still do. It's okay just, my ADHD brain hates it.

Spent my time in high school social climbing, making friends and learning society politics AND maxing everything I could. Here's what I could leverage my relationships with my classmates and schoolmates for

A second scholarship (sport) that paid in cash, so I had upkeep money every semester

A pilots certificate and flight dispatch license ALL IN HIGH SCHOOL for free (a friend was taking it & their parent decided I should join too so why not)

A scholarship in one of the most prestigious universities in the country (I mean I'm smart, but we all know it's a nepotism thing)

My driving license (because some boy was scared of driving & I volunteered to chaperone him around)

Prime real estate for my first apartment , as prime as an immigrant on financial aid could get away with- for half the usual price.

Attendance in some very classy high society events (and therefore growing my networks)

Some very high quality second hand designer items that I sold online for a good buck (do not underestimate the power of 'you can have it if you want. Sell it I don't care)

Mountains of knowledge on how their family businesses are run, politics, a LOT of financial education and access to state of the art facilities that I obviously maxed out.

Vacations and trips to, beautiful places.

This isn't financial exactly, but it did save me heavily on finances and gave me priceless lessons and even better- friends. Here's a networking tip for rich kids- do not be desperate, provide value (everyone has something they want) and suck up to the parents not kids. Never pick sides (neutrality wins) and do not be greedy OR too shy. If you want something, ask what it will take for you to have it.

'what will being your date to X gala cost me?'

Everyone. Has a price. And for rich people, it's not money.

I had someone smuggle me into some event because he wanted to know how to hit on a girl and I taught him. I've received tons of things simply because I was a non judgmental peaceful place for some. Got my flight certificates because girly was crying at 3am and I listened to a trauma dump for 2 hours and smuggled in ice cream. Everyone has a price.

Also, I made friends with the people I knew would go into finance. Or had close family in finance.

After high school first thing I did- getting my LLC. Why? Well, LLCs are a great way to evade taxes legally. I still don't know the math, a finance bro told me to so I did and AND here's the science- every single thing you buy or own that requires insurance goes under your LLC, not your name. I still don't know why bestie but it works.

Second thing I did- buy a business. E-commerce. Why buy not build and why e-commerce?

Most startups fail. Buying a business is buying its already established customer base, work force and working systems. Only thing that changes is who the money goes to.

E-commerce is low effort low risk. You don't pay for storage or taxes on storage or manufacturing or production or- any of that. And, the manpower you need is almost neglible, you can do it yourself.

Luckily I bought just when covid reared her head and that's when E-commerce was the bomb thank God. Here's the thing, I've never met my employees, ever. I don't even remember what they look like. We weren't even in the same country, and they were so easy to work with. 200$ in a marketing specialist by the hour and tripled sales in first month. forgot the thing even exists until monthly analysis hit my email address every end month. A running business is better than starting from zero because it's a self operational machine, you just exist.How did I buy it? My finance bros recommended it to me AND my law friends did the negotiations. Net work. People. Networks.

Second thing I did was close a deal with my finance girlie (finance bro is a gender neutral term btw. Educate yourself). She manages my money and I pay her on commission. I have NO idea what she does with it because my quarterly reports go to my law girlies (usually different ones, and they don't know each other, and usually over tea or Netflix) and I make sure I'm not getting played. For every milestone I reach I pay them a certain bonus. THAT is how I invest, girlie, I don't. I have people that do it for me, so I don't know ANYTHING about the stock market. Sold my business this year (for triple the price I bought it) and in the process of buying another, something I also will not be taking much active part in since I have people for that (just to be clear, I do things for them too. Relationships are an exchange of value, don't you ever forget)

my sources of income are split into 4

• Goodwill

• Salary

• business

• Passive

Salary is my weakest source of income. I'm on probation at my current job and my previous didn't pay enough to even pay my rent, and that was strategic. First, my previous job was purely for the experience. Networking and social climbing, that's it. my responsibilities were almost neglible. Second, because I am an immigrant that was on financial aid. The government is very, very wary of immigrants of my skin color, so I play it safe. Third, salary is taxable income. The more you make the more you pay in tax, and you can not lay that on your LLC.

Goodwill is income that I didn't know I would be getting? Like surprise income. I did a LOT of mentorship in my previous church (I moved recently) and the parents would sometimes pay appreciate me in currency for the value provided to their children. It's a little more than my salary (it always was, every month lol) and it's not taxable. That went to my offshore account (in my home country). On some random day someone decides they like the way you helped them do X and transfer funds. When you give a talk or so. Also, on campus activities sometimes did pay, and it's goodwill because I didn't do them for the money I did them because I wanted to.

business income is something I currently do not have because I currently don't have a business under my LLC BUT if you count BMAC as business I guess you can say so? I'm in the 2% top performers on the or at least I was so it's something. The city I live and the places I frequent 20$ can't even get you coffee so I count BMAC a passive income bc honestly that's not money that's bulk enough to useful on a go to me, but I appreciate it. Also, I've done some business that's not particularly in my line of work. I've done some light real estate (when international friends need a place to stay and I get some commission from helping them find it? Someday I did event planning for a high school classmate that decided they need to party with 27hour time span and decided since Im in the arts (communication Imao) I should be able to. Great to make new friends. Or listing items I no longer on campus sale day. My second largest source income.

Passive income is income you're not actively making. This is whatever investments my finance bros are making, and is my LARGEST source of income. Of course, offshore account. Duh.

You and I both need to learn personal finance, if that helps. It's time I take my finances into my own hands I'm no longer on financial aid I'm a grad, the government has nothiiiiiiiiiing on moi

.Ways I've learned to (budget???? Safeguard my finances??? You get the idea)

1. Closing my black tax early on. Black tax is the money you spend on your family outside spouse and children. It's an expectation that children that live in the first world Must support their families back home, great aunts and grandfather's and their cats- a people of color thing. Made it clear to my aunt's even on my grave they're not getting a dollar out of me, that's for talking crap on my name when I left and being crappy to my parents. You should've known better. To my immediate family- instead of sending money home I opened Investment accounts for them, businesses and taught them easy personal finance. You're on your own now. & Sometimes I do invest in their accounts so dividends got them covered, I'm good. And since it's first world currency against third world currency, they're balling & no one expects me to send anything- you have a job and an account. Do better.

2. investing in relationships .I'm not explaining this I already did, network = net worth

3. expert advice. I ALWAYS get at least 5 opinions from 5 different experts that don't know each other. Friends can play you it happens. Always listen to the experts (experts that don't personally know you and have nothing to lose or gain are the best, and you can pay by the hour). Before I make any decision I get expert advice.

4. Investing in things with high ROI..I'm not buying something I will only use once. I am not buying diamonds just to flex on the gram and pay ridiculous amounts in insurance. If I only need it once, I rent not buy. I budget like CRAZY and take all the classes I need to because education is. power. Investing in my looks, health, education, quality wardrobe and things with a very long lifespan and will be used frequently.

5. Keeping a low profile and being mysterious. That way you can live celeb life without spending celeb money. The girls that get it, get it. The girls that dont-why??

6. Investing in experiences not things.

This probably doesn't answer your question, I know. But I hope it provides value.

[librius]

recently learned my coworker and one of my friends dont know what botulism is, and now im wondering if theyre outliers or if this is my Weird Kid showing through so

do you know what botulism is (Knowing What Botulism Is in this case is described as knowing the concept, how to identify and avoid it in a household context, not necessarily all the scientific parts of what it is and what it can do) and where did you learn about it?

please reblog if you can im sososososo curious

[ickadori]

your. your tags. your tags about endo fucking you in the middle of the room for takiishi. i’m having a hard time being coherent about that because i know takiishi’s expression isn’t changing a single bit. but like, the thought of looking over at him to see cold bored eyes and uninterested body language but he’s STARING so intensely and his cock is hard in his sweats. like. the unbotheredness is really getting to me. and how endo so badly wants to just see takiishi look the slightest bit pleased so he is just absolutely wrecking you. but he’s talking to takiishi, saying “you like that?” to TAKIISHI. like. i’m not okay about this.

takiishi is so annoying. his face is literally like this 😐 the entire time, and if it wasn’t for the wet patch on his pants and the way his cock twitches underneath the fabric every time you moan you’d think he was bored.

Endo’s never fucked you like this before - never this wild, this frantic, this sloppy. Your cunt squelches with every plunge of his cock into your sopping hole, splatters of your arousal hitting the floor and his tender thighs. Your nails are biting into the skin of his shoulder, and the sweat that pours down his body makes the cuts sting but he pays it no mind, biceps bulging as he lifts you up once again just to drop you back down onto his cock.

He’s got something to prove tonight—he’s gotta prove to Takiishi just how good he is, just how serious he is about fulfilling every request that he gives him, and if he had to fuck you stupid to do that, then well…

“You like that?” He grunts, gaze zeroed in on the way Takiishi looks at the two of you. His eyes go from where your head is lolled back, eyes rolling and drool spilling from the side of your mouth as Endo easily lifts up and down his cock like some doll, down to where said cock is coated in your slick. It’s got a white ring around the thick base, evidence of the amount of times he’s made you come on it, and Endo moans high in his throat at the attention.

He misjudges a thrust and his dick slips out, a low whine sounding from you and a frustrated grunt sounding from him. A long line of your cum stretches from the tip of his cock down to the floor, Takiishi’s eyes following it the whole time, and before the string is broken when he bucks his hips up, cock slamming in deep and hitting against that spot that has your toes curling and your pussy clamping down tight.

“Endo, Endo, Endo, Endo!” You chant his name like a prayer, and he finds it sacrilegious of you when there’s a God right there in the flesh sat on the sofa and watching you come undone for the umpteenth time. “I love it!” You answer his earlier question, and he lets out a breathy laugh.

He had wanted Takiishi’s answer, but he guesses he can take the sight of the bulge in his sweats as answer enough. The lump is thick and long, and if Endo focuses enough he can make out the shape of his tip-fuck. His grip on you tightens as he fucks you through your orgasm, and his eyebrows shoot up in short lived surprise when he feels a rush of fluids spray out of you.

His eyes flick back to Takiishi, searching, yearning, silently begging, and Endo face splits into a grin at the sight of Takiishi’s hand tightly gripping the back of the sofa. His face is as emotionless as ever, but Endo knows, it’s his fucking life purpose to know, and he comes hard with that knowledge, thick seed overflowing your spent cunt.

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

Why is Rassilon everywhere?

Why is Rassilon everywhere?

Ah, Rassilon! Praise be upon his mighty beautiful head! If you ever feel like you can’t swing a Dalek mutant without hitting something named after Rassilon, you’re definitely on Gallifrey.

Here's a few pointers to why Rassilon is so mighty:

🦸 The Founding Father

As one of the founding fathers of modern Time Lord society, his influence is in every aspect of Gallifreyan life. He's credited with many of Gallifrey's greatest advancements, including the discovery of time travel and the creation of the Eye of Harmony. Multiple powerful artefacts bear his name, like the Rod of Rassilon and the Ring of Rassilon, which I assure you aren't as dirty as they sound.

🐉 The Man, the Myth, the Legend

Rassilon's story is written into the very fabric of Gallifreyan mythology and legend. Stories of his heroic deeds, cunning strategies, and formidable powers are told to Time Tots from the moment they're capable of hero worship. It's said he battled great cosmic entities, outwitted ancient gods, and secured Gallifrey's place as the pinnacle of civilisation. What a guy.

📜 The Eternal Administrator

Even after his supposed demise, Rassilon's administrative policies and laws still guide the Time Lords. He wrote foundational texts that every budding Time Lord studies meticulously, and Rassilon's fingerprints are all over the rule book. It's like every bureaucratic form and procedural guideline has a little note from Rassilon saying, 'do it like this'.

🖥️ The Technological Genius

Rassilon's technological innovations are still in use millennia later. From TARDIS designs to the Matrix, his genius ensures that his presence is felt every time a Time Lord takes a trip through time or consults the grand repository of all Gallifreyan knowledge. Any piece of tech you can think of, Rassilon probably invented it.

🗳️ The Political Powerhouse

Politically, Rassilon’s legacy is unshakeable. His time as Lord President set the gold standard for Gallifreyan leadership. Subsequent leaders often find themselves compared to him, and many of the political structures and titles are relics of his era. He's even so generous as to return from the dead to lead Gallifrey in times of crisis.

🗿 The Cultural Icon

Culturally, Rassilon is the ultimate Gallifreyan icon. Festivals, holidays, and even everyday idioms are sprinkled with references to Rassilon. 'By Rassilon's beard!' is a common exclamation of surprise, while, 'What would Rassilon do?' is the go-to question for moral dilemmas, and the Horns of Rassilon is a hand sign you probably shouldn't do in polite company.

🧪 The Supreme Scientist

And let's not forget his contributions to Time Lord biology. Rassilon’s Imprimatur, a biochemical mark, allows Time Lords to safely pilot TARDISes, effectively bonding them to the fabric of time itself. There’s also the little matter of regeneration. This ability to cheat death every now and then is the cornerstone of Time Lord, and without Rassilon, it wouldn't be possible.

Some would dispute this was Rassilon's invention, but of course, they're liars.

🏫 So ...

Rassilon is everywhere because he's the ultimate Gallifreyan hero, lawmaker, inventor, politician, and cultural icon. His influence spans the practical, the mythical, and the everyday lives of Gallifreyan people, as well as all of you. Just remember—it's Rassilon's universe; you're just privileged to be living in it.

GIL adores Rassilon of course, in alignment with the views of our benefactors, the High Council. On a completely unrelated note, GIL also wishes the Celestial Intervention Agency a lovely day.

Hope that helped! 😃

-------------------------------------------------------

》📫Got a question / submission? 》😆Jokes |🫀Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts 》📚Complete list of Q+A 》📜Masterpost If you like what GIL does, please consider buying a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious for future projects, including complete biology and language guides.

[eternal-letters]

— ꒰⁠ Twisted Wonderland ꒱

｡ ✉️(III)

❝ Do not sacrifice yourself for me.. you're so valuable and precious for such thing. ❞

꒰ 💐 ꒱

Character(s) — Vil Schoenheit

Content — Fluff + Established Relationship + Use of endearments + Mentions of eating less and self sacrifice + Word count: 2k

꒰ 💐 ꒱

｡꒰⁠ 💐 ꒱ — Vil Schoenheit

Vil has taken care of you quite a lot— That goes with your needs and wants. Even the most simplest stuff.

You're grateful to Vil. As he's been treating you quite well. However, it feels overwhelming just being on the receiving end. You feel.. guilty.

No matter your protests of insisting that you should give back to him, Vil just denies your attempts and reassures you that you yourself, is all he needs.

So in mere desperation and appreciation— You've decided to plan on something to give back to him. Without his knowledge of course.

You've thought about how to give back to Vil. You've even asked Grim about it. Of course— You've told him to keep your plan a secret. In exchange for lots of tuna cans after the plan had worked out successfully.

The only reasonable conclusion you could think of is taking Vil to a nice dinner date. Since Vil has been taking you to dinner once a month— Any day of your choosing.

Grim suggested a gift along with the dinner date. Since it seems like Vil would give you a gift every month as well.

And so, you started to plan out the dinner date. Researching and saving up your funds in order to take Vil out.

You wanted the best for Vil, since he's always given you the finest of all things. But— Your plan didn't last long. Because considering how beautiful Vil is, he also has the brains to fit along with it.

"Is something the matter, my love?", Vil asks as he gently pats your cheeks with his fingers— Applying some sort of moisturizer on your face. "You've been looking pale, thinner, and awfully weary."

You immediately snapped out of your daze. Eating less has honestly made you awfully drained and tired. But, you tell yourself that this is for Vil, therefore you just kept up with the mission.

You reassured Vil, trying to not rouse any suspicion despite knowing that he's smarter than to believe your obvious lies— Since your body does tell it all.

Vil lets out a sigh. You're unsure of what that could mean. Leading for you to just nervously stare at him.

"Do not lie to me.", Vil firmly says, shifting his hands from your face to softly brush his fingers against your ears. He cradles your head, holding the back as Vil has you locked in place. "Why are you doing this?"

Vil likely knows what's happening— All thanks to a very specific hunter. But he wanted to hear it from you personally.

You pretended to feign ignorant. Knowing immediately you'll receive a lot of questions from the look of Vil's light-purple eyes, staring you down so intensely. Yet, filled with concern.

You successfully invaded all of Vil's questions with excuses— Likely ones that makes sense according to asked questions.

Through the questioning barrage, Vil's expression almost cracks upon hearing each of your answers. It makes his heart break so much. Since Vil knows the truth between each of your lies.

"My love..", Vil's voice almost cracks. He leans over so close towards you, the firmness of his earlier tone softens. "Don't do this to yourself.. please."

꒰ 💐 ꒱

Sincerely— Eternal Letters

꒰⁠ Thank you for reading ꒱

｡ February 12, 2024 — June 27, 2024