#and yes I haven't posted one of these in a week

[blkkasa]

Basketball Player! Connie x Instagram Model! Black Oc

Summary: you being his number one biggest fan (🤭)

Contexts/Warnings: a short-long fic, modern, short smut, fluff, famous instagram model black oc (Aya), a well-known basketball player connie springer, etc.

Notes: i made this because i missed writing fics and stuff but keep in mind... this is my first time writing a fic on this app so don't expect it to be perfect in any way.

Word Count: 1232

"GO CONNIE! YOU CAN DO THIS"

He heard his girlfriend's voice and smiled while playing basketball. Everything about her motivates him to do anything, and all thanks to Sasha for introducing them to each other.

Aya and Sasha are sitting at the bleachers watching Connie from a distance but Sasha is having a problem getting no responses or answers from her other best friend.

"Aya, have you heard from Mikasa lately? Like... she isn't answering my calls or texts and here I am asking you where she's at" Sasha gets annoyed at her phone and looks at Aya like she's finna throw a fit at her.

"No girl. I haven't but if you do please remind me because... I need her to help me out picking outfits to wear for my next photoshoot next week."

"Oh don't worry bestie, I'll let you know but thanks for trying though. Ugh! Mikasa needs to answer her phone these days" Sasha whines.

Aya giggles at her friend's complaints about her best friend. She receives a message from her mom telling her to call her little sister at 5:00. "Okay mama..." She rolls her eyes while liking her mom's message and putting her phone back in her purse.

(2 hours later) The game ends and Connie's team wins.

Aya runs up to her boyfriend and gives him the biggest hug yet.

"Baby I'm so proud of you" She kisses him as she says this.

"Thank you mamas. I love you princess." He smiled at her and they both walked to the door by the lockers where the boys can grab their things out of their lockers.

"I'll wait out here while you grab your things."

"Okay beautiful" He winks at her.

Aya was worried about everything, her mom, her friends, and especially her boyfriend. She thought about what would happen tomorrow since it was going to be a long day. She scrolls on her phone looking at her friends' and celebrities' posts, liking them as if she hasn't been active on there since three weeks ago after her last photoshoot. Connie comes back with his things and sneaks behind her to give her a hug and give her neck kisses.

"Hey love, I'm back and I also have a surprise for you at my house" He smirked, loving everything about her.

" Oh? A surprise? For me?" She giggles

"Yes for you mamas" He chuckled and grabbed her by her hand and they walked towards Sasha.

"You're so sweet, you know?" Aya looked at him with glee and kissed him on his cheek.

"Yes princess" He kissed her hand and smiled.

"OH SHIT HEY GUYS" Sasha looked at them and hugged them

"Yo sasha wassup" Connie hugged her back and they did their little signature handshake.

"Hey sash" Aya winked at her

"Oh my gosh. You guys are would never believe what just happened to me"

"What happened?" The couple looked at her confused and interested at what Sasha was going to say.

"So... this beautiful man came up to me and asked me out on a date and bro. When I tell yall, i was screaming. I WAS SCREAMING but not to loud" Sasha was smiling so hard and cheesy about this dream boy.

"Okayyy boo" Aya cheered for her

"Oh shit sasha has finally found her a guy" Connie laughs

"Okay... not too much" Sasha rolled her eyes and smacked him by his arm

"No but in all seriousness he better treat you right or ill beat the shit outta his ass. Like i don't fucking play that shit" Connie huffed.

"Connie, chill... it's fine" Sasha chuckled

Jean and Eren came by them after communicating with the team.

"Wassup guys" The boys came towards them

"Oh shit is that Aya??" Eren looked at her and hugged her

"Heyyyy renn" She hugged him while jokingly slapped the back of his head and ran behind connie from him.

"OW???" He looked so shocked to the point that he didn't even process what just happened to him.

"my bad" Aya laughed

The group walked to the parking lot and said goodbyes to each other.

"Hey babe?"

"Yes mamas?" He turned to look at her while walking to his car.

"So... this morning after you left, my mama called me about something and i wanted to ask you... are you available next week? Because I asked my boss if you would like to participate in my photo shoots?"

"Really??? Yes, pretty girl, anything for you" He kissed her and opened the door for her.

"Yayyy omg" She hugged and got inside his car.

Connie got inside the driver's seat, buckled up, and drove home. He grabs her thighs and squeezed them while focusing on the road. Aya groaned a bit and moved his hand between her legs, letting him do the work. He gets to the red light and looks at her while putting his hand inside her pants. She groaned a bit louder after he rubbed her cunt, looking at her and smirked.

"You like this huh mamas?" He winked at her and rubbed her cunt a little faster.

"Ngh... yes" She moaned.

The light turned green and before he drove home, he drove into an empty parking lot where nobody could see them.

He unbuckled his seatbelt, removing his hand from her beautiful cunt while letting her remove her seatbelt, and got on top of his lap.

They made out for 10 minutes and removed all their clothes off. They switched places and he began to devour her.

"f-fuck! connie.... a-ah!" She gripped his neck for support while her legs were around his shoulders.

"You taste so good mama... shit! i could do this all day with you princess" He kisses and licks her up until she cums. He devoured her for 5 minutes. He kissed her thighs and bit them giving her bite marks.

"c-connie.... oh! you f-feel... s-so good... ngh!" She looks at him with teary eyes while he fingers her.

"ngh... mamas... you look so damn gorgeous crying for me, fuck...!" He fingers her faster until she cums on his face.

"FUCK" She cummed all over him.

They sat back to their seats and heavily breathed for 5 minutes trying to get their breaths back.

"Hey pretty girl, when we get home ill run us some bath water and order pizza. okay?"

"Okay babe." She blew him a kiss.

Connie looked at his phone checking any messages his friends or family sent him. He received 100 messages from the gc, 20 messages from his mom, and 5 messages from Jean.

"Shit. That's alot of fucking messages" He sighed.

Aya giggled at him and put her clothes back on while he did the same. They drove home without saying a word to each other.

(20 minutes later)

"Hey princess, I got your surprise in the room. go look" He carried her inside the house and put her down on the floor to take their jackets and shoes off.

Aya walked to their room and saw flowers, chocolate, candles, two presents, and an envelope on their king sized bed.

"OMG!! FOR ME?? THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY" She hugged so hard and gave him face kisses.

"Yes babe everything is yours, who else would i give it too" He laughed and kissed her face.

"It doesn't matter. all i know is that this stuff is mines" She smiled and closed the door.

@blkkasa

Notes: so if yall want visuals of Aya, Connie, and their fits in this whole fic then let me know cause I got yall. Also, let me know who i should write about next when i upload a poll, okay? thank you babes 💗.

[coraniaid]

Thanks to everyone who's replied so far.

Looking at the sources @mariedemedicis mentioned, and doing a little more digging of my own, I'm now fairly close to being persuaded that @moistvonlipwig's take is correct. My guess is that this is something that large parts of the fandom decided on while the show was still airing -- initially based on the repeated airdate of Surprise and Helpless -- and which the writers then chose to run with without ever quite making an exact date official. (We do know, after all, that there was quite a lot of contact between the early fandom and the creators of the show.)

As @mariedemedicis pointed out, by 2011 Dark Horse were running promotional events on January 19th to tie in with Buffy's 'official' birthday.

This might not be the first time an official channel agreed that this was Buffy's birthday though: I found an old ProBoards thread from 2010 in which somebody strongly implies that Buffy's birthday is something not up for debate, saying: "We all acknowledge that Buffy's birthday is January 19th and that Tara's is October 16th. However, we never receive definite birthdays for any other character". This thread doesn't seem to state when "we" had received "definite" confirmation about Buffy's birthday, but I think it's possible that this had happened.

A few years earlier still, Buffy's birthdate seems to have been a bit less agreed-on. A buffy-boards thread from 2005 includes a post which says merely that "It's generally accepted that Buffy's birthday is January 19, 1981". The author of that post goes on to mention the air dates of Surprise and Helpless and the "Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius" line from Doomed we've already discussed.

The oldest source I've been able to find is this episode guide (first archived in May 2000) for Doomed itself. In the trivia notes, the authors of the guide also point out the Capricorn/Aquarius line and say that this "confirms that [Buffy's] birthdate is somewhere between the 17th and the 20th of January of 1981 (most likely the 18th or 19th)". They also mention the airdates of Surprise and Helpless. They also claim -- and I haven't seen this mentioned elsewhere -- that Season 4's A New Man (Buffy's birthday episode that season) had originally been scheduled to air on January 18th 2000 but was pushed back a week for unknown reasons. (Though what I think they actually mean is that Doomed itself was delayed by a week and that this pushed subsequent episodes back; in reality Doomed aired on January 18th, a few weeks after the previous episode of the season and A New Man aired the following week. Given the internal continuity I don't believe Doomed could ever have been meant to air after A New Man and I don't think this is being suggested.)

So ... yes, it looks like this was something the fandom decided on very early on in the show's history and later became retroactively adopted as canon, rather than something -- like Faith and Kendra's last names, for example -- that was first established by some sort of official off-screen announcement. Unless I've missed something that happened between 2005 and 2010, anyway.

One potential complication I should perhaps note is that I sometimes see it claimed that Buffy's birthday is meant to be some sort of stealth reference to Dolly Parton (who was also born on January 19th and whose company Sandollar Entertainment helped to produce the show). Based on the above, I don't think that can be right: I think the shared birthday link must just be an odd coincidence. If it was meant to be a deliberate reference, and it had been decided on before the end of Season 5, surely it would have been given in The Gift (in the way Tara's was two seasons later)?

By the way, if (like me) you're prone to being weird about calendars and thought it strange that two episodes of a show that ran once a week could air on the same date in back-to-back years, the answer is that Buffy only regularly started airing on a Tuesday after Surprise aired. In fact, as far as I can tell, the show started life in the Monday slot and stayed there for the first twenty-five episodes. Surprise was the last episode to air on a Monday, with Innocence -- the concluding part of the story of Buffy's birthday -- airing the following day. That meant that the date Surprise had aired on (which was a Monday in 1998) would be a Tuesday in 1999. But of course, this change in air dates was something that happened because of WB's own scheduling decisions: it was a happy coincidence that in Season 3 the writers could now air a second birthday episode on the same date as they had a year earlier, not something anyone involving in making the show had arranged in advance.

Finally, while I didn't mention it in the original post, we do know by watching Season 2 that Buffy's birthday has to be before February 14th: Surprise has to happen before Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered, after all, and that episode has to take place during Valentine's Day. And we know from Season 3 that Buffy's birthday has to be not only after Christmas (Helpless airs after Amends which covers Christmas Eve) but also while Buffy has been back in school for at least a little while (after Amends, Buffy is back in school for Gingerbread, which ends with Amy turning herself into a rat, and when Helpless begins Willow has had time to buy an exercise wheel for the newly rattified Amy). So even before the Capricorn line in Doomed I think it was established that Buffy's birthday had to take place in mid-late January or the first week or so of Feburary, even if you chose to ignore the original airdates altogether.

Would still love to know if there's anything more official than that out there though, particularly anything in that 2005 to 2010 window.

Does anyone know the original source of the idea that Buffy's birthday is definitely January 19th? Because -- unlike, say, Tara's birthday, which we know is October 16th because it's given on her headstone in Help -- I don't think it's actually confirmed beyond doubt in the show proper. In particular, neither of Buffy's grave markers -- neither the one in Nightmares nor the one we see in The Gift -- gives a date of birth, only a year.

(Obviously I'm ignoring the two different dates of birth shown in Buffy's Sunnydale school records in I Robot ... You Jane. Neither of these can be correct because they' make Buffy's age at least seventeen, but we know from dialogue that she's sixteen in The Harvest at the beginning of the season and still sixteen at the end of the season in Prophecy Girl. I think those two wrong dates can be explained away as Moloch already using his presence on the net to change digital records.)

Yes, we first see Buffy celebrate a birthday in Season 2's Surprise, which first aired on January 19th (the same date that Season 3's Helpless would air next year, when Buffy again celebrates a birthday), but I don't think this on its own can mean much. The events of the show aren't normally supposed to have taken place on the days the different episodes aired. (Sticking to Season 2, Halloween aired a few days before Halloween, Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered aired days before Valentine's Day despite being mostly set after it; Season 3's Amends covers several days including Christmas Eve but aired on December 15th.) And none of Buffy's other on-screen birthdays (of which we see three, in Season 4, 5 and 6) first aired on January 19th: a couple didn't even air in January.

The closest I think we come to fixing January 19th as Buffy's canonical birthday on screen is a line in Season 4's Doomed, when Buffy describes herself as being a "Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius". But although that does put her birthday within a few days of January 19th, I don't think it does more than that. Somebody born on January 17th or 18th could also very easily describe themselves this way, no?

As usual, google is no help here. I can find lots of breathless "did you know Buffy's birthday is on January 19th?" clickbait, but what I've not been able to find is something along the lines of "This was confirmed by Joss Whedon on [date] at [event]" or "This was revealed in the official Sunnydale High Yearbook" or anything like that. Generally I wouldn't treat a source like that as being completely canonical -- though I might for something small like this -- but it would be a lot more compelling than "everyone on the internet keeps repeating it, so it must be true".

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.9 because the brainrot is getting to me

Luke: Thanks for not telling Tom what happened. AJ, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this. Tom: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we barely know each other? Luke: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending. AJ: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people. (I just realised that I already had this quote in a past post)

AJ: Okay, what does A stand for? Luke: Arson. AJ: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? Luke: Barson. Sam: *laughter* AJ: What stands for C? Luke: Commit arson. Sam: Oooo. AJ: D! Luke: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. Sam: *more laughter, slightly more evil this time* Tom: Hey, check out my Spongebob umbrella! *Tom opens his umbrella while indoors* Sam: Tom, that’s bad luck… Tom: Chill out, Sam! Luke, kicking down the door: WHO SUMMONED ME?!?! Tom and Sam: *screams* (Senor Pork-core) Tom: Hey, are you free? Sam: No, I’m expensive. Store Worker: Would a ��Tom” please come to the front desk? Tom, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to AJ, Sam, and Luke: I believe they belong to you? AJ, Sam, and Luke, simultaneously: We got lost. Tom: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me- Luke: Tom, when’s your birthday? Tom: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me? Luke: ...So I know when to wish you a happy birthday. Luke: But also so I can plan your downfall. AJ: So, what is Luke to you? Sam: The reason I wake up every morning. AJ: ...That’s adorable. Luke earlier that morning, barging into Sam′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!! AJ: *stands in trash can* Sam: AJ, not again! You're not trash, you're at least recycling! (I like to think that AJ just wanted to stand in the trash can) Sam: Big day today, Tom. *holds up two identical flannels* Mustard stain or ketchup stain? Tom: Mustard, looks less like blood. Tom: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way. Sam: Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way? Luke: *writing a letter* Luke: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...and it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard. Tom: Damn, the power went out. AJ: Don’t worry, I got this. AJ: *stomps foot* Tom: What-? AJ: *Sketchers light up* Sam: You can’t have a gun on stage! Luke: WRONG! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play. (Sam's just jealous that he doesn't have a gun) Tom: Oh no! I’m doomed! Sam: Seriously? All you have to do is not insult Luke at his own memorial service. Tom: Exactly! It’s impossible! AJ: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, that’s fucked up. Like c'mon, you know I’m dumb as hell! Luke: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby. Tom: What baby? Luke, crying a bit: Me. Tom: That's not funny. Luke: I thought it was funny. Tom: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Hiiii.

So, not one but two jobs just fell through. I'm currently visiting friends (because of course I get this news while on vacation) but as soon as I get back home I'll start applying places, but let's be honest, even if I succeed in getting a second job (yes, I already have a job, no it doesn't pay all my bills, welcome to hell) I don't know if that'll be enough to cover everything. I was really depending on these jobs, I was promised them for months. Ask any of my close friends, they've been hearing me chant "I just have to make it until July" since January.

And yet, here we are. So.

A couple months ago I decided to take the plunge and start up a Patreon to share my original work and help support my writing career as I begin the journey of self publishing my novels. But I know that some people only want to read my fanfic (and that's okay!) so I made a special $3-a-month-tier just for you guys.

(I do also have a ko-fi, but honestly, a steady income on Patreon would benefit me a lot more.)

If ten percent of the average reader count on my fics were to sign up for the $3, I could pay half my bills every month and I wouldn't have to find a second job. Obviously I don't expect that many people to sign up, but I hope that expresses just how much every little bit helps me.

If you sign up for $3 you get no notifications, no emails, nothing, you do not get bothered by me. You would, however, probably get those fanfics you've all been waiting on because I would actually have time to write them (I'm seriously worried I won't get even my Halloween fics done in time because I've had no time or energy to write them, and I started working on these fics in January). You can sign up for a higher tier if you want of course, but if you're not interested in my original work or pictures of my cats you probably want to stick to $3.

(For free updates on my novels and such you can follow me @lincolnchristie - my A Masque of Shadows Ao3 updates will be posted there, for example).

I've had to ask for help from the tumblr community before, and I hated it, and I hate it now, but this time I do feel a little better about it because I'm not asking while giving nothing back. I truly do hate self-promotion but every little bit helps. The appreciation and enthusiasm I've gotten from people on tumblr and on Ao3 in response to my writing the last few years has been truly amazing, and so I hope that I've created stories you love enough that, if you have the spare change, you'll consider helping to support me as I embark on my professional writing career and try to keep the lights on.

It's been a tough year and a tough few months for me and I'm sure it has for everyone reading this, too. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, and thank you for taking the time to read this. Even if you can't sign on, reblogging also really helps. Thank you.

[mari-lair]

having art ideas beyond my skill level but trying anyway is a sort of crushing pain it goes ouch ouch it hurt

[averlym]

"what could possibly go wrong?"

[creatively-cosmic]

im working on cleaning up the story we got for mn and the one we ended up with is almost definitely the Longest and most Slow Burn of the three is all ill say. this is not a problem but i hope you're ready for a long wild ride...

[astrxealis]

good morning 🥺

[britneyshakespeare]

i am so fucking mad about jag

[fist-amidst-the-hands]

tagged by @blackberrywars to do wip wednesday! does anyone else remember when I said I was aiming for posting a wip weekly? yeah me neither

since I haven’t been writing lately this one is from maybe a month ago, just a tiny snippet that’s (as usual) much bigger in my mind. may or may not write up the whole thing, so I put some additional context / plans in the tags!

—————————-

A simple request. No... not a request. An order. Two words. Quiet at the onset but growing steadily in Izzy's mind, blooming and spilling over to cover every corner.

The whisper of a smile at the corner of Ed's eyes meeting the desperation swimming within them. The soft pair of footsteps padding from above deck to below contrasting the heavy pounding of Izzy's heart echoing in his head, the intensity threatening to shake apart the blossoms that had so recently taken residency.

All of it sharp yet muted, loud yet far away.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 7

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Finished all of the little things I carved out of avocado pits, will maybe post pictures at some point? I painted some sections (like for the eye I carved, I made part of it white for contrast, etc.) and then generally glazed them with some shiny paint stuff. Now I really wish I had more avocado pits, I was unsure at first, but I have some new ideas.. I want to try inlaying stones like I've seen in some pictures, similar to the same ones I use for eyes in my sculptures. >:3 (random google image example of the stones inside, like this sort of thing V)

Low effort/small house cleaning tasks, did a few dishes, put up laundry, organized things, put up the recycling, paid bills, etc.

Still extremely sleepy and unfocused, it was hot last night and the cats woke me up multiple times so I only got a few hours of sleep and barely had any energy to do anything and also had a headache and back pain a lot of the day. ToT

Finally made an appointment I was supposed to make like 4 days ago lol..

Gave wet food to the cats (this is an ordeal because George eats way faster than Noodle, so I have to separate them and stand guard so George doesn't vacuum his up immediately then run over and try to eat all of his brothers food.. evil boy must be watched to prevent his crimes )

Edited videos for like.. 15 minutes but still have not been very productive on that front (or editing costume photos or anything) due to shoulder pain and stuff making it hard to type/use mouse much on the computer. grrbbb >:V

Spent 10 minutes looking up a weird pendant I had in my rock collection area and found out it's an old piece of costume jewelry from the 60s(?) and could be worth like $200 potentially, which is cool. I'm not sure if I'll sell it though because I do think it's quite unique and good for a prop when making wizard character inventories, etc, and I'd never be able to find anything like it again (it's this one below.. it's very weird.. looks like something a mage would have lol)

Translated the tapestry text for 5 minutes, and got out some tubs of clothes to start organizing them to sell outfits and stuff online, but then felt ill and had to go lay down so now the tubs are just sitting out on the floor ghgh..

Notable sights: It rained a bit and the sky was very pretty at one point. Didn't get to go outside today due to schedule/low energy, so no clovers or anything. Saw a fat squirrel out the window once though. Also when I was looking through my "rock collection" (which also includes marbles, dice, pieces of glass, stones, gems, rubber balls, seashells, smooth wood, jewelry scraps, etc. ggh.. really more "shiny things collection" but it's mostly rocks, so) for interesting stones to possibly put into avocado pits in the future, I saw a lot of pretty rocks I hadn't thought about in a while, so that was nice.

Goals moving forward: Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Nothing really.. but it's an asparagus day tomorrow I think so.. >:)c hehehehe... Oh, I did try a bite of corn, which I really really love corn but am not supposed to have it on my diet. The miniscule morsel was sufficiently cherished. Still craving hearty stuff despite resuming my iron supplements lol..

[probablyaseamonster]

Hey so this happened to come up on my feed seemingly randomly but for once I'm not complaining /enthusiastic because I did in fact have a Wreck it Ralph phase last month! Helped me feel better when house became hostile lol. I wonder if I forgot I had the tags saved or something, cause I don't remember what I did to have this pop up on my dash lol. Sorry for anyone who has to see it, but honestly, this was the best way y'all could've found out, lmao. I have Seen Shit, and I made a Spotify playlist about said shit. It is, mercifully, only 8 songs long lol

Anyway, remember I said "topical times do exist, but never feel embarassed to like something years after everyone else seemingly moved on! It's both valid to grow out of something, as well as valid to keep it in your hearts! I mean, that is the basis of the retro genre after all..."

Happy 10th Anniversary to the movie that fundamentally changed my brain chemistry and made me unbearable to be around in 2012!!! <333

[astonmartinii]

(piano) keys to your heart | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem fan reader

who knew the fan stages could be so romantic?

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

f1

liked by liamlawson30, yukitsunoda0511 and 1,340,667 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, lewishamilton, oscarpiastri & landonorris

f1: it's always chaos at the fan stages

view all comments

user1: what is in the air today?

user2: i think it's so early in the season that they haven't lost the will to live yet

user3: there's still light in their eyes LMAO

lewishamilton: let me just say... that was an experience

georgerussell63: i wish all media commitments were this entertaining

lewishamilton: we can only pray

user4: wait i'm so lost what happened at this damn fan stage

user5: there was a girl with a baby toy piano who played one of charles' songs for him 😭

user6: and he was SO IMPRESSED

user7: he was impressed? I WAS IMPRESSED like it sounded so good and it has five keys that make ANIMAL NOISES

user8: aniMAL NOISES???

pierregasly: i think i watched that man fall in love in real time

charles_leclerc: are you not also enchanted?

pierregasly: by animal sounds? no?

charles_leclerc: so rude! you wouldn't know real art even if it hit you in the face

pierregasly: nuh uh !!!

user9: girlies i do think he might be in love what is going on?

user10: has he even spoken to her other than through hundreds of people on a microphone?

charles_leclerc: can a hopeless romantic live ?

user11: yeah it's terminal people

user12: well i'm not gonna lie if someone learnt my music on such an esteemed instrument i'd also be flattered

charles_leclerc: EXACTLYYYYYY

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 12,309 others

yourusername: got to play a pretty boy piano this weekend, what about you?

view all comments

user15: PIANO WOMAN MY QUEEN

user16: you have a real piano?

yourusername: where do you think i honed my skills in order to play it on such a crazy model

yourbff: MAMA THERE'S 12,000 PEOPLE ON YOUR POST 💜

yourusername: act natural

yourbff: how can i ACT NATURAL BABE THE HOTTEST MAN IN THE WORLD IS IN YOUR LIKES

yourusername: as he should be

yourbff: i know for a fact you are not that chill rn ... i can hear you screaming from my house

yourusername: *harmonising

user17: we're all stalkers for being here but i'm pleasantly surprised with how funny she is

yourusername: damn ask me out on a date first

user18: so you are single queen?

yourusername: chronically so ...

charles_leclerc: i FOUND YOU

pierregasly: * i found you

oscarpiastri: not that i want the title of chief stalker but it was me (you have very niche mutual friends with my sisters)

yourusername: OMG OSCAR !!!!!!!!!!!! (tell hattie i said hi and take me to the next kpop concert)

charles_leclerc: so fuck me i guess

yourusername: i would love to fuck you, yes

charles_leclerc: oh hehehehehehehehehe

yourbff: for a man who is the sexiest in every room he's in, you're embarrassingly easy to please

lewishamilton: he's not the sexiest in every room, that is lewis hamilton erasure

yourbff: WHAT THE FUCK

user19: so is like all of the current f1 grid here?

maxverstappen1: i'm just here to watch charles embarrass himself

danielricciardo: i am retired but i must be interested in the exploits of my countrymen

pierregasly

liked by yukitsunoda0511, charles_leclerc and 885,489 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & kika.c.gomez

pierregasly: he's making us take a flight on our one week off

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user20: deadass if they're going to australia

user21: these are levels that i would actually completely expect from charles

user22: pierre and kika are better than me because a flight to AUSTRALIA oh no baby

maxverstappen1: well this is an update that SOMEONE (i'm talking about you pierre) forgot to put in the group chat

pierregasly: i'm kind of in the middle of a flight and sat to the nosiest motherfucker in the world

charles_leclerc: what group chat?

georgerussell63: nothing!

oscarpiastri: nothing!

landonorris: nothing!

alexalbon: nothing!

maxverstappen1: we're laughing about how down bad you are behind your back 👍

charles_leclerc: thanks max!

charles_leclerc: WAIT?

user23: oh charles how can you be so smart yet so dumb

user24: all brain power goes to f1 and piano

user25: and piano girl now apparently

yourbff: you're not being serious ....

pierregasly: deadly

yourusername: this is so charming

yourbff: this man is flying 24 HOURS TO SEE HER ???

yourusername: i'm not appreciating your tone rn

yourbff: oh no you're more than worth it pookie but DAMN the air miles

charles_leclerc: i chartered a private jet :D

yourbff: you're crazy

yourusername: i'm in love with you?

user26: guys i think they're just as insane as each other

user27: a match made in heaven i fear

liked by charles_leclerc & yourusername

yourusername

liked by yourbff, charles_leclerc and 41,298 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, pierregasly & kika.c.gomez

yourusername: guys there's a cute guy at my door (and a guy with a bad hairline but he doesn't matter (i love you kika))

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user29: chat - it's never been so over i fear

user30: we've lost him

yourusername: :P

user31: she's so unserious i love her

user32: i know every other wag wants to be this in our face so i respect it

charles_leclerc: i'm very happy to be the cute guy at your door

yourusername: you best be :)

charles_leclerc: i'm here to swipe you off your feet

yourusername: believe me you won't have to do much

charles_leclerc: i saw you have a proper piano ...

yourusername: you don't want to serenade me with my animal noise piano ???

user33: so like this is real? how did this actually happen?

user34: like surely they had met before this - it can't be the animal sounds piano of monaco that did it

user35: have you ever considered that maybe someone doing something as ridiculous but as time consuming as that is incredibly endearing

charles_leclerc: my love language is acts of service :)

pierregasly: i am sat in your living room and you're blasting my hairline on instagram?

yourusername: yes!

pierregasly: you know what? you two are perfect for each other

yourusername: i know :D

user36: oh to be a girl who has charles flying across the world for her

user37: if we get a video of them playing piano it might just kill me

maxverstappen1: interesting.... very interesting....

yourusername: can i help you?

maxverstappen1: just observing ....

yourusername: you're observing very loudly

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 1,894,300 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: obviously we had to take the real piano for a drive

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user38: killing myself <3

user39: the most rational reaction

user40: THEY'RE SO FUCKING CUTE (i want to die)

yourusername: as if you needed to be any more handsome

charles_leclerc: i gotta match your beauty some how

yourusername: SHUT THE FUCK UP

yourusername: YOU'RE SO CUTE

yourusername: and also objectively the most beautiful man in the world

lewishamilton: once again, stop lying to him please 🙏

yourusername: okay queen..... whatever you wanna hear

user41: lewis not being in the GC but always being here to stunt on charles is killing me

user42: getting in the psychological warfare for next year

yourusername: lewis hamilton psychological warfare (immovable object) vs sleep deprived y/n y/ln (unstoppable force)

lewishamilton: YOU'VE KNOWN HIM MAX A WEEK ???

yourusername: there's no set timeline for love girlypop

maxverstappen1: piano? this is boring

yourusername: i would post me treating him the way he should but that would violate instagram's guidelines sorry!

charles_leclerc: no !!! i don't wanna share you with anyone

maxverstappen1: i don't wanna see all that anyway

charles_leclerc: don't lie buddy

yourusername: you're just intimidated :P

user43: couples who bully max together, stay together

maxverstappen1: it seems that way ...

yourusername: omg we're so couple goals

charles_leclerc: we so are <3333

user44: CONFIRMATION???

yourusername

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tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: guess i'm a recording artist now? oh and i have a bf, he's there i guess?

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user46: oh they want me dead

user47: ignoring this for my mental health

user48: they're 😭 so 😭 cute 😭 i'm 😭 so 😭 happy 😭 for 😭 you

charles_leclerc: no one i'd rather work with!! we've been in a whirlwinf but i'm glad i have you

yourusername: you have had the (piano) keys to my heart long before we met

charles_leclerc: i still had to charm you though ;)

yourusername: oh i was smitten straight away i was just trying to play it cool

pierregasly: you weren't very convincing

yourusername: i was ???

yourbff: the day you found out he was flying over to aus you did 20,000 steps just pacing in the living room

yourusername: well...

charles_leclerc: i found it very cute no worries

user49: they're so hilariously embarrassing for each other it's so cute

user50: i mean they're both insanely attractive so yeah i'd be just as nervous around them

user51: everyone is just hating on their whimsical love

arthurleclerc: so you're official and you've still not met us 🤨🤨🤨

yourusername: well............. i'm in aus what do you want me to do about that?

arthurleclerc: charles irresponsibly uses a private jet - i expect to see you for dinner this weekend ! (that's an order from maman)

yourusername: CHARLES I CAN'T LET YOUR MUM DOWN

maxverstappen1: does this mean i might get air max back in europe?

yourusername: you've been hating this whole time but it was YOUR JET THAT GOT CHARLES HERE?

maxverstappen1: and what?

yourusername: i'm just observing, loudly

charles_leclerc: he loves me really <3

yourusername: but not too much 🤨

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff and 2,398,099 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: i am never complaining about media again

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user52: so when i do an interpretative dance as a cat to seduce max then what?

maxverstappen1: if you dare do that anywhere near me i am getting a restraining order

user52: anyone tell you you're no fun?

maxverstappen1: all the time, i'm still not going to fuck someone dressed as a cat 👍

yourusername: loving you is the easiest thing in the world

charles_leclerc: the most natural thing in my life - we were made for each other

yourusername: forged by the gods for each other and they decided to give me the prettiest boy in the world

yourusername: @lewishamilton i dare you to say otherwise

charles_leclerc: she's so protective 🤭🤭🤭

roscoelovescoco: ...

yourusername: i'll still fight your dog i have no shame when it comes to defending my man

user53: see this ^^ is appropriate action for wags i too would fight a bull dog to defend charles' honour

yourusername: it's the least i can do

charles_leclerc: i will literally run someone over with my ferrari

yourusername: considering i've seen your road parking - that's a real threat, so romantic

pierregasly: so i really am stuck with this for the rest of my life?

yourusername: it doesn't have to be a long life

pierregasly: you're breaking up with charles ???

yourusername: i'm threatening your life 👍

pierregasly: oh!

charles_leclerc: so romantic

user54: childhood friends being thrown under the bus? this is real romance

user55: and this all started with an animal sounds piano?

yourusername: i owe my baby cousin everything

charles_leclerc: does she want a ferrari?

fin.

note: HAPPY CHARLES LECLERC BIRTHDAY DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE

[starcrossedmusings]

Pretty Hands

Pairing: best friend!Yunho x f!reader WC: 3.2k Warnings: eventual smut, reader has a thing for Yunho's hands (who doesn't??), swearing, fingering, choking, a little bit of degradation (he compares her to a whore literally once), PRAISE so much praise, Yunho talks reader through it (you're welcome), pov is kinda all over the place just let it be, Yunho is absolutely WHIPPED for reader teehee, probably some other things that I missed (let me know)

Summary: You and Yunho have been friends for years, and you tell each other everything. He suddenly takes a much more vested interest in your love life when you can't stop mentioning your newest interest.

A/N: This is entirely self indulgent and also I just wanted to get something full posted. The Phantom fic is turning out to be much longer than I originally anticipated (and so did this one once I started writing it). Let me know what you think♡

Stepping into Yunho's apartment had always felt like coming home, and today was no exception. You take your shoes off in the tiled entryway and pad your way through the main living area, calling out to him as you walk.

"Yun? I'm here!"

His muffled response flows down from the end of the hall, "Bedroom!"

You make your way through the back hallway and enter his room, finding him exactly where you thought he would be, focused in on his computer. There's a selection of empty drink cans and snack wrappers scattered around his desk, which tells you that whatever he's currently building on Minecraft has probably occupied the majority of his day so far. He pauses the game and turns his chair to face you.

"Whats up?"

"Got bored at home and my roommate isn't even trying to muffle her pornstar moans for her new boy toy."

Yunho barks out a laugh, "Does she seriously sound--"

"Just like it Yun I can't make this shit up. I'm starting to think maybe they're recording themselves in there."

Yunho wiggles his eyebrows as he stretches his arms up and over his head, leaning back in his chair. "Well, if I ever see your living room on Pornhub I'll be sure to let you know"

You crinkle your nose. "Ew. I do NOT need to know that."

"Whatever, don't act like you haven't been talking to me for weeks about how horny you are. If I have to hear about your vibrator dying one more time I'm gonna buy you a new one myself."

"You try getting unintentionally edged three nights in a row with a full charge, it's some bullshit Yun. Besides, I'm allowed to complain about my dry spell."

Yunho scoffs, tone playful and lighthearted. "Dry spell? It's been what? Two months?"

"It's been three thank you very much." You move to sit on his bed.

"Well some of us haven't had sex in much longer."

"Oh, please, that girl that San was messing around with was all over you at his birthday party last month, don't tell me you didn't take that opportunity."

Yunho raises his eyebrows in shock, leaning forward in his chair. "Wait, really?"

"Oh my GOD Yun you are so oblivious. Yes really. She was all giggly and twirling her hair and shit. That's like...girl flirting basics."

"I am not oblivious, I am actually quite observant. I could tell you things about yourself you don't even know. I just have my sights set on someone and that someone is not her."

You shoot him an incredulous look and snort out a laugh, leaning back to lay down completely on his bed, legs dangling off the edge. "Sure Yun, whatever makes you feel better."

You hear Yunho stand from his chair and feel his weight shift onto the mattress. He appears in your vision, a challenging playful sparkle in his eyes as he peers down at you. "Okay, fine. I can tell that you're trying out a new perfume, you just went shopping because your leggings are a different brand than you usually wear, and I know that you washed your hair last night because you're wearing it all the way down today."

You do your best to ignore the way your stomach summersaults at his attention to detail about you and your routines. You roll onto your side and prop your head up on your elbow, matching his challenging gaze. "Okay Sherlock Holmes. What kind of underwear am I wearing then?"

Yunho pauses to consider before responding "a thong, probably black." You grin triumphantly and lean in just a bit closer.

"Wrong. I'm not wearing any. You lose!" You stick your tongue out playfully at him and he swats your shoulder, falling back onto his mattress.

"You set me up!"

"Face it Yun, I'm just better than you."

"Yeah yeah, whatever" Yunho pouts, voice hightening slightly from surprise. He can feel a slight redness creeping up his ears and prays his hair has grown long enough to cover it. 'I'm not wearing any.' He clears his throat. "So why go commando? You finally planning to seduce your new conquest?"

"He is not a new conquest, he doesn't even know I like him."

"He will once he knows you aren't wearing any underwear for him" Yunho jokes, smiling cheekily. You smack at his chest.

"I didn't want to do laundry last night, asshole. Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"You're one to talk" he mutters under his breath.

You sit up fully and reach for one of the pillows at the top of his bed, slamming it down on his face. "Jeong Yunho I swear to god!" On your second swing, he manages to catch the pillow with one hand and pry it from your grasp, but not before giving you an entirely unhelpful image of his long fingers gripping the plush material.

"What?? All I ever hear you talk about lately is how tall and handsome this dude is and how much his hands make you drool."

"You sound jealous."

"I'm not jealous, I'm pissed that I have to hear all about him and don't even get to know what the dude's name is."

"I told you, I'm gatekeeping this time. You run your mouth too much."

"I do not!"

"Do too."

"Ugh FINE whatever," Yunho chucks the pillow back towards you and you dodge it, leaving both pillows on one side of the headboard, "You're so agitating."

"You know you love me Yun. But just for the attitude," You adjust both pillows and shuffle your way back until you're leaned against both of them, "no pillow for you for tonights doomscrolling session."

He huffs a laugh and scoots up to meet you, pulling out his phone and settling in against the headboard.

An hour later you get up to go to the bathroom, and when you get back Yunho has stolen both of his pillows. You frown and cross your arms. "Hey, asshole, those were mine!"

"Yeah?" He taunts playfully, "Well they were mine to begin with, and my back is killing me. So deal." You roll your eyes and cross back over to the bed, crawling over the side you've been sitting on and curling yourself into Yunho's side to rest your head against his chest. You feel him tense slightly underneath you before he moves one of his arms around your shoulders to let you lay more comfortably.

"There's no way in hell I'm sitting up against that cold ass metal frame you call a headboard." You mutter as you begin scrolling. Yunho's chuckle rumbles through his chest and tickles your cheek. You both sit in silence for a while, content to scroll on your phones. Eventually, you turn to look up at him from his chest.

"I meant to ask how your new project has been going. Whatever you were building when I came in looked pretty intense." You can see the faint tinge of red trail up his ears and neck--a telltale sign that whatever you caught him building makes him embarrassed. You sit up, propping your weight on your elbow and placing a hand on his chest to shove him slightly. "Ooooo now you have to tell me what it is!"

"It's embarrassing..."

"Tell me tell me tell me tell me--"

"Okay fine, fuck. I'll tell you if you promise not to laugh--"

"I won't I swear!"

"Pinky promise?" He holds his pinky out to you, and you raise a hand from his chest. Before you can lace your pinky in his, he pulls his hand up above his head. "I'm serious, Y/N, if you laugh I'll have no choice but to tickle you to death."

He's definitely not stalling because he has to come up with a reply, because he certainly hasn't been building a treehouse for you in what he hopes will one day be a shared server. Yunho thinks to himself that he would rather die than let you find out.

You scoff, "I won't laugh...and even if I did I'm not ticklish so your threat is a moot point."

Yunho drops his hand down onto the mattress. "Bullshit."

"It's not. I don't have a ticklish bone in my body."

"Liar."

You shake your head, and Yunho takes the opportunity to gently press the pads of his fingers into the sides of your ribs. The sensation hits you almost immediately, and you feel the tight feeling in your chest as he begins tickling you. You squeal and thrash around in his grasp, trying desperately to get away from his assault.

"Yun stop it--"

"Not until you admit you're a liar!" You begin to giggle and manage to roll away from him, but Yunho is quick to follow. He swings a long leg over your hips and pins you beneath him, a single large hand trapping both of your wrists above your head while the other dances across your ribs. "Admit it," He sings out.

"Okay! Okay fine I'm a liar!" You gasp out between laughter. Yunho beams down at you and immediately stops tickling your sides, leaving you panting underneath him--

Oh fuck...you're panting underneath him.

He can almost feel the shift in the air as he stares down at you. He knows he should move, just roll off of you and make up some bullshit lie about what he was building. You like someone else, and he clearly wasn't getting out of the friend zone any time soon. He's just making a fool of himself...and yet he just can't bring himself to stop memorizing the way you look splayed out beneath his hips. Eventually he forces himself to stop staring at the way your chest rises and falls or the sliver of your tummy that's poking out from underneath your shirt that's riding up. He locks eyes with you.

Your voice comes out softer than he's ever heard you speak before. "Hey Yun?"

"Yeah?"

"You know that mystery guy I've been telling you about? The one with the pretty hands?"

A twinge of annoyance flairs in his stomach and he can't help but grumble out his reply. "Yeah?"

"I'll give you a hint. He's got me pinned to the mattress right now."

Yunho feels his heart drop deep into the pit of his stomach.

"Like...like right now he does?"

You laugh lightly. "Yeah, right now, Yun."

Yunho swallows thickly as his head starts spinning. He leans down much slower than he would have liked to, giving you plenty of time to take it back--to laugh at him and tell him you got him good. He feels like his whole body lights ablaze when you close the final gap between your lips, and suddenly he is kissing you.

In almost any circumstance that you had seen Yunho kissing someone, he was always fast-paced--hot and heavy petting in the corner of a darkened bar, dares in drunken party circles--which is why you were floored at the reverence he was kissing you with now. His mouth was steady and intense against yours, his hands roaming slowly across the expanse of your torso like he was memorizing the feel of something priceless. You gently pull your hands from his grasp and tangle them in his hair, pulling him closer and matching his intensity with your fervor. You feel his hands make their way to the lower hem of your shirt, and your skin erupts in goosebumps as you feel his fingers ghost along the sliver of skin there. He breaks the kiss and you feel his breath fan across your face as he pants. His hands gently make their way to rest just under your shirt, not quite pushing the fabric up. He locks eyes with you.

"Is this okay?"

You chuckle gently. "Yes, Yun, you can touch me. I want you to touch me." You watch his eyes darken and his hands start running up your torso, pulling your shirt up with them.

"Where do you want me to touch you, baby?"

You exhale heavily and arch your back into his touch. "Anywhere...everywhere...I don't care."

Yunho smirks and feels his ego inflate. "You don't care? Hmm..." He starts planting kisses along your jaw and down the side of your neck. Slow. Teasing. "If I remember correctly, you seemed pretty keen about having my hands in some specific places baby. Can you refresh my memory?"

The low whine that escapes your throat nearly sends him spiraling. "You know where...don't make me say it."

He does know, but there's nothing he wants to hear more right now than to hear you say it. He brings one hand up to your chest, cupping one of your boobs and squeezing gently as he continues peppering your neck with kisses. "Was it here? Or..." His hand trails back down and grips your hip possessively, "Here, maybe?" He hears you huff and feels your hand wrap around his wrist. You try to tug it up, and he chuckles softly but allows you to move his hand. He nips your earlobe and asks lowly, "Where do you need my hands baby?" He feels his cock twitch in his sweats when you wrap his fingers around your throat, guiding him to squeeze the sides gently. Your hands run down his chest and drop to your sides as he squeezes a little harder. "Fuck, look at you. So pretty with my hand around your neck."

You whine and buck your hips up, desperately looking for friction. Yunho coos as he looks down at you, wanting to have the image burned into his memory. He adjusts his position so he's sat on one side of you and brings his free hand to your thighs, squeezing the flesh there and watching the way you spread your legs for him. "Pretty girl, I need you to use your words. Spreading your legs like a whore isn't gonna get you what you want." He revels in the way you throw your head back onto the mattress and close your eyes, frustration evident already on your face.

"Need your fingers, Yun. Please."

Holy shit, he could combust right then and there. He smiles and traces his hands along the inside of your clothed thighs. "Good girl. So polite for me." He hooks his fingers in the waistband of your leggings and pulls them down and off, leaving you bare from the waist down. "Sit up for me baby. I want you between my legs."

Yunho sits on the edge of the mattress and allows you time to sit up, moving to sit in between his thighs. He hooks your legs over his, leaving you spread and completely at his mercy. A shiver runs down your spine as the pads of his fingers run across your thighs and you gasp as they brush against your core. He presses kisses into your neck and chuckles, "You're already soaking wet, what's got you all bothered hmm? I've barely touched you..." Yunho hums and teases your entrance with this middle finger. He can feel you clenching. "Do you like my hands that much baby? All it takes is a little choking and you're putty for me." He pushes two fingers inside, pumping slowly and curling back to find your sweet spot. He feels pride flare through his chest at the noise you make, a mix between a whine and a moan that eggs him on.

Your toes curl as Yunho almost immediately finds your g-spot. The pace he sets is almost perfect, and when he begins rubbing tight circles on your clit your eyes roll back into your head. The pleasure is a building wave, and it's all you can do to keep yourself remotely still as he continues pumping his thick fingers in and out. "Oh my god, Yun, please don't stop!" You clench helplessly around his fingers and let your head roll back to rest on his shoulder.

"Awe baby I'm not gonna stop. Not until I see how pretty you look cumming all over me. Will you do that for me, sweetheart?" he coos, bringing his other hand back up to your throat and squeezing lightly. "Will you cum all over my fingers? I bet you want to right? Wanna come on my fingers while I squeeze this pretty neck of yours?"

You whine and preen at his words and arch your back. Your legs begin to shake as Yunho's circling on your clit quickens pace just slightly, the thrusts of his fingers audible from the squelching between your thighs. Your breath quickens.

"My pretty girl, you're such a mess for me, aren't you? Can you hear how wet you are? All soaked for me? I bet your hands don't feel as good as mine hmm?"

You shake your head no violently, whining as he continues to talk lowly into your ear. Your orgasm builds quickly, and at this point you have no faith in your ability to speak coherently.

"No, they don't do they? I want you to show me how good my hands feel baby. Let go for me, sweetheart."

Your breath catches in your throat as you tip over the edge, and the feeling of your release washes over you. Your whole body jolts in his grasp as he continues pumping his fingers. You feel him squeeze your throat gently, just enough pressure to remind you that he's got you.

"Atta girl, look at you! Doing so good for me." You whine and buck your hips, orgasm still riding through your body. Yunho nips at your neck lightly and slows his pumping to a stop as you continue to shake. "That's it baby, just grind on them for me." The final aftershock of your orgasm finishes, and you go limp in his arms, leaning all of your weight back into his chest and breathing heavily.

Yunho pulls his fingers out and admires the mess you made on them before popping them into his mouth. He's still rock hard, and the taste of you on his fingers makes him twitch again. He'll definitely need your help with that later. He uses the hand around your neck to brush a stray hair from out of your face. "How are you feeling?"

You huff out a breathless laugh and turn your face to nuzzle into his neck. "How do you think I feel? That was...wow."

He can't help the goofy smile that crosses his face. "Oh really? Tell me more, I'd like a full report." He jokes, pulling the two of you down to snuggle on his bed. He grabs a throw blanket from your side and pulls it over the two of you and nearly melts when you curl closer to him, burying your face into his chest.

"Give me a few minutes to recover and I'll show you exactly how I'm feeling right now." Yunho rubs a hand up and down your back.

"I look forward to that."

"And then afterwards you're going to show me what you've been building."

Yunho chuckles and kisses the top of your head. No way in hell.

[areislol]

twitter links w/ hsr men

pairings. blade, jing yuan, aventurine, sunday, gepard, sampo x afab/fem! reader

warnings. NSFW no minors! please read at your own discretion, explicit/18+ smut, established relationships for most, brat taming for blade, mention of being called a whore (teasing manner) for aventurine, mentions of puppy for gepard but there's no meaning about it. aggressive sex, passionate sex, masturbation (fem.) sub! gepard for 1 twt link, fingering

a/n. i don't think i've done one for hsr yet... or genshin so maybe that'll be in the future. sorry (not sorry) guys i'm ovulating (i need them all carnally). also i think for some you need to be logged in twitter for them to work! this only has a couple of characters cause i'm a bit lazy today

blade

✧ fucking you so good from behind, "you like that don't you?"

✧ eating you out in a room just beside his colleuges room, he likes the risk and it turns on him. you feel the same way, right?

✧ teasing you for being such a brat, spanking your tight pussy and rubbing soft languid on your sensitive clit. you'll learn your lesson sooner or later.

✧ the size difference never fails to amaze him. but that's fine, he'll take his time with you.

✧ making you cum just by his slender fingers

jing yuan

✧ riding your boyfriend jing yuan

✧ fucking you in his bathroom while you're wearing his shirt. how adorable of you ♡

✧ best friend! jing yuan who fucks you right and how you deserved to be fucked. "feels good doesn't it? i know baby but you need to keep your voice down.. your mom is here.." it's quite hard to stay quiet while being pounded relentlessly, isn't it?

✧ a 5 star meal in his opinion, nothing beats your pussy.

aventurine

✧ slowly and painstakingly teasing you with his cock, oh, and you're wearing that new blindfold he bought for you!

✧ bouncing up and down on his dick, "like the whore you are"

✧ morning sex (is this based off the artwork recently posted by hoyo? yes)

✧ fingering you from behind

✧ "fuck..." aventurine loves hearing you moan

sunday

✧ "ride my face, please."

✧ passionate sex with sunday

✧ giving your boyfriend an awaited tit job ♡

✧ restricting your movement by binding you. "stop moving or i won't put it in." he says while also rubbing his hardness on your entrance.

✧ fucking you 'till you're braindead

gepard

✧ your puppy boyfriend who loves eating you out. best meal ever.

✧ breeding you just like you asked, one peak down at the messy sight gets him 10x more hard. good luck with a horny gepard

✧ milking your beloved with a vibrator

✧ teasing your poor husband with a video of your wet pussy while he's at work.

sampo

✧ your boyfriend still continuing to finger you through your orgasm. overstimulated would be an understatement.

✧ making out in your room

✧ fucking you aggressively after seeing his rival, gepard, flirt with you (?? gepard flirting??)

✧ your pleasure is his pleasure//masturbating while eating you out

a/n: me after not writing anything for a couple of weeks (i think almost a month?) :) i haven't done this in SO long. no continue reading for this since it's short. (this is a shitpost)

taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @v4an @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls if im missing anyone please tell me because i have an inkling feeling i missed a few..

liking + following + reblogs are very much appreciated!!!

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 39: Life

Summary: Something begins to throb in your chest as you lay there. Something thrums deep within you, something you haven’t felt in weeks.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 8,194 words

Warnings: Angst, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, angst, PTSD, nightmares, POV changes, depression and anxiety, illness, language, slightly graphic imagery, very slight violence, rumination, lots of feels, and yes finally some comfort

A/N: Yes, it has finally arrived. The time has come. We are now in the comfort. This very much is a good place to end things for the next month. If you haven't seen my post then I'll say it here, I will be putting the fic on a brief hiatus for the month of October. I have Kyletober planned and trying to do CRCB at the same time will be too much. So this will be the last chapter for a couple weeks while I focus on other things and just give my brain a little break from CRCB. It's been eight months of just pumping out long chapters every week, or almost every week, so I need a little break to focus on other things. I'll still be writing and posting things here (and Ao3 of course) but there won't be another CRCB chapter posted until November.

But anyway, I hope you enjoy this one and the comfort starting and I'm super excited for what's coming next month (can't believe it's almost October)

11/30/24: **This chapter has been edited and rewritten from its original version**

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“I need you to be brave.” Christine says, staring up at him. 

His heart thumps in his chest. How bad is it that not only did she summon him down here, but she’s asking him to be brave. He knows you’re sick, that you’ve fallen ill after your moment of anger earlier. She had informed them over dinner as she made some broth that you came down with a fever. 

They had all been worried, sharing glances at the news. John looked like a dog that had been scolded. It was his fault, after all. 

If anything happens to you, it is his fault. 

Johnny swallows the lump in his throat, nodding slowly as he stares down at Christine. “I can be brave.” 

Christine stares up at him for a long moment before nodding. She pushes the door open, leading him inside your room. The scent in the air is thick, tainted by the bitter scent of anxiety still lingering in the air, and the sour scent of illness. He misses the fresh scent of strawberries, he has missed it over the last few weeks. Your scent had taken on a bitter edge ever since the cameras were revealed to them. It’s only gotten stronger recently after the events that transpired. 

All of their scents have been off lately. 

It’s dark in the room aside from the bedside lamp. It casts a soft glow around the room, elongating the shadows in the corners. They loom threateningly, and his fingers twitch to turn on the overhead light. 

You don’t like the overhead light. It’s too bright. 

You always prefer softer light. Is it an omega thing, or is it just a you thing? He’s not quite sure. 

How little they really understand you. 

The lamp illuminates a pile of blankets on the bed, stacked one on top of each other to create a lump of soft fabric. You’re underneath that pile, he knows it. You’ve always liked blankets, always carried one with you in the barracks, eternally cold in the harsh world they existed in on base. This many blankets though? It was excessive even for you. 

He approaches the bed slowly, scared at what he might find. Images of you laying in a puddle of blood, cold and stiff fills his mind. Images of a skeletal figure reduced to nothing but skin stretched over bones has his heart racing. What will he find on the other side of that pile obscuring you from his vision? 

He swallows down his fear, reminding himself that he’s a soldier. He’s seen dead bodies before, he’s killed before. So why is he so scared now? 

This isn’t war. It’s you. 

He steps up to the side of the bed, looking down on you. You’re shivering, trembling under the blankets. Sweat beads on your forehead, skin dewy and clammy in your fever. You look more alive than the skeletal figure he had pictured in his mind, but you don’t look well. 

You look near death. 

“I’m worried about her.” Christine says, closing the door behind her. “She needs someone from her pack close. You’re making the most effort right now, and if anyone might get through to her, it’s you. She needs...someone.” Christine sighs. “Someone who can offer what I can’t.”  

“She needs a member of her pack.” Johnny says, easily putting together what Christine was saying. 

He knows what she’s asking. He’s scared. He’s not sure how you’ll react. The last people you want to see right now is your pack, including him. How will you react to having him so close? 

“Exactly.” Christine says, stepping up right next to him.

Her fingers wrap around his wrist, and he lets her guide his hand to your cheek. It’s hot and clammy against his palm, a fire blazing under your skin. You let out a shuddering breath, the air fanning weakly against his wrist. Your head turns just slightly, pressing into his hand. It’s a good sign, despite the delirium you have to be stuck in. What are you imagining is happening right now? What is your brain telling you? 

“Touch her, talk to her.” Christine says, releasing his wrist. He keeps his hand there, pressed against your cheek. “We need to try and get her back before this gets worse.” 

Before they lose you. 

She won’t say it out loud. 

She doesn’t need to. 

Johnny nods, turning his head to look at Christine over his shoulder. She looks exhausted, and not just because of the late hour. She’s done so much over the past few weeks watching you and caring for you. Maybe it is time one of them tries to step up and help her. You can’t avoid them forever, no matter how much you might feel like trying. 

He has to try. For you. 

“I know what tae do.” He says, his eyes flickering to the books stacked on your dresser, the ones Simon and John picked up. 

Christine squeezes his arm. “I’m just across the living room if you need me.” 

“I’ll try not to.” He says. 

She stares up at him for a long moment before nodding. She understands. He doesn’t have to say much else. She leaves the door cracked and he doesn’t mind, moving away from you to look through the books on the dresser. A handful of them are new, or at least ones he’s never seen you read before. A couple are ones he knows are in your collection at the barracks. He picks one of those, some fantasy novel he’s seen you read more than once. 

He looks between the bed and the chairs. He could pull one over and sit by your side. 

No, Christine said it was better to touch you. 

Instead he climbs onto the bed, sitting close enough he can feel the heat from your body. He cracks open the book, flipping through to the first page. He clears his throat, staring down at you for a moment before he begins to read. 

Rain batters the roof, coming down hard outside. The wind is blowing, whooshing past the house, rattling the shutters. The storm blew in from the sea, dumping rain by dinner and then the wind picked up by the time they were all getting ready to settle in for the night. 

It feels fitting, a storm blowing in at a time when a storm is brewing within their pack.

The storm he blew into their pack. 

He lays there in bed, listening to it rage outside. It’s quiet in the house, Simon and Johnny already settled in, and so are you downstairs. Kyle is beside him, but not asleep. He’s laying awake again as they have done since their arrival. He can feel the heat of Kyle’s body against his arm as he lays on his back, Kyle on his side facing away from him. 

“You just had to do it, didn’t you?” Kyle asks quietly, breaking the silence. “Can’t even go a week without trying to apologize knowing full well she won’t forgive you.” 

John stays silent, having expected some kind of reprimanding for his actions. He really was selfish for what he did. Kyle is right. You won’t forgive him, no matter how many times or ways he tries to say sorry. 

“You’re just making it worse.” Kyle huffs out. “You’re the last person that should try apologizing right now.”

“You’re right.” He finally says. “It was selfish of me to do that. I just wanted her to know-” 

“She knows.” Kyle snaps, cutting him off. “She’s not stupid and oblivious. She knows we’re all feeling guilty, she knows how sorry we all are. She won’t let us apologize until she’s ready. Shows just how little you actually understand her, trying to do that.” Kyle pushes himself up to sit. “She doesn’t want words. She’s had words spewed at her, her whole life telling her what to do, how to feel, how to act. She wants actions. She wants us to prove to her that we do care, that we are sorry, that we’re making an effort to make things up to her. She wants us to prove that we’re putting her first by putting her first.” 

John knows he’s right. Words won’t solve a situation like this. None of them know where to start, though. How do you try and make things up to someone when you’re not even sure that person wants you to try? 

“She’s sick now, because of what you did.” Kyle continues. “If anything happens to her...” He trails off, shaking his head. 

“I’ll let you take the first shot.” John says. “I know. I’ve been a miserable excuse of an alpha. It’s easy when you have the confines of the military to hold everything in place. When those expectations dictate your life and how to run a pack. It’s easy, when you can exist as a pack with those set routines and structures. The facade that makes everything seem like it's working.” He shakes his head. “We never would have worked outside of those confines.” 

Kyle’s head turns slightly towards him, but his gaze is still on the far wall. “No, we wouldn’t have. None of us would have chosen this in the first place.” 

“Probably not.” John agrees. “Then we got an omega added, an outsider that showed us just how weak we really were.” 

“We were crumbling long before that.” Kyle says. “We weren’t ready for an omega, we shouldn’t have ever had an omega.” 

“I should never have been head alpha.” John says. “Being an alpha is different from being a captain. It shouldn’t have been me.” 

Kyle snorts. “He would have never agreed.” 

“That delay might have saved us.” 

“Or it would have made things worse.” Kyle says. “Shepherd wanted us to bond with her right away so his control over us would strengthen if he had to use that power. If those bonds weren’t put into place when they were, they might have tried to force it.” 

“That would have only destabilized things further.” John says. Kyle isn’t wrong. Who knows what lengths they would have gone to, to ensure what they wanted would happen. “They were watching us from the start. They knew exactly how to play all of us.” 

“Simon was right all along in his suspicions.” Kyle says, laying back down on the bed. Their shoulders are touching. It feels nice, having him close again. They’ve been close for the last few days, forced together by their sleeping arrangements, but it feels different now. 

“He’ll be a better alpha than I ever could be.” John says quietly, almost speaking to himself. 

“I think she will come to forgive you eventually.” Kyle says, turning his head to look at John. “You just have to give her time. A lot of time. You have to figure out how to prove yourself worthy of that forgiveness.” 

“I want to take her to the beach.” John says. “Once she’s recovered.” 

“If she recovers.” Kyle had pieced together the worry in Christine’s voice combined with her words. They all had. 

“She will.” John says, sliding his hand across the sheets. “She’s a tough little thing. She’s not going to give up just like that.” 

“I hope you’re right.” Kyle says. He doesn’t pull away as John’s fingers brush his hand. 

“I may not have the best track record with being right currently, but I’m confident in her and her strength.” John turns his head to look at Kyle in the darkness. The storm is calming outside, the wind dying down and the rain lightening. “She’s stronger than all of us combined.” 

The corners of Kyle’s lips twitch. “You are right about that.” 

It smells good. 

There’s a rich scent in the air as you begin to wake. It smells like Christmas, like spices and citrus. Warm gingerbread and cider. Freshly squeezed orange juice on Christmas morning just like every year. It had been your favorite, though you never understood the lengths your mother went to, the early morning and the hours spent in the kitchen on Christmas slaving away to make everything perfect. Everyone got something they wanted, something they loved. You never appreciated that effort until now. 

Oranges. Spices. Warmth. 

You know that scent. 

It’s hot in the room, sweat soaking your skin as you lay on your right side. Heat surrounds you like a cocoon, just like the scent. Warm and soft and too much. You try to wiggle out from under the blankets but you can’t move, so instead you shuffle them off. Some of them hit the floor with soft plops, the others just barely hanging on the side of the bed, trapped under your body. You’re still stuck, still hot as you lay there, a comforting weight around you. The scent floods your nose, fills your body with a pleasant feeling as you lay there, breathing through your nose. Oranges, spices, warmth. 

Someone is baking a pie.

It smells good. You want to bury yourself in it, press yourself into that scent until it’s the only thing you can smell. It brings you a comfort you didn’t realize you were missing. Something fills your chest, a weight beginning to press down inside of you.

Your hair sticks to your face as you lay there, tempted to get up and see who is baking and why. There’s weight pressing down on you from the outside as well. You can’t move. You’re stuck. 

The weight around you moves. 

No, it’s not pie. 

It’s Johnny. 

That’s why you know the scent. That’s why it feels so familiar, so comforting. It’s Johnny. Johnny is pressed up against your back, his arm tossed over your waist. That’s why it’s so hot, his body putting off warmth like a heater. 

You should be angry at the breach of your clearly placed barriers. You should be upset that he would come in here and just climb in bed like this. You should be pissed that one of them would try something like this after your outburst yesterday. 

You shouldn’t be crying. 

Not out of relief. 

Oh how you missed this. 

Something begins to throb in your chest as you lay there, crying quietly in Johnny’s arms. Something begins to thrum deep within you, something you haven’t felt in weeks. Life? Hope? Happiness? 

You should be upset. 

You can’t be. 

Johnny grunts quietly behind you, his arm leaving your waist as he stretches. He’s awake now, or maybe he hadn’t been at all and had been waiting for some sign of life, some movement from you, something to try and give him a hint at what you must be feeling. He doesn’t say anything, laying still as you sniffle in the silence. No one else is up yet, despite the blue light of dawn coming in through the gap in the curtain. 

“Johnny?” You whisper, even the quiet sound hurting your sore throat. You’re thirsty, desperately so, but that’s a problem for later. 

“It’s me, kitten.” He says hesitantly, the pet name making a sob tear from your throat. 

“Johnny,” You cry, the tears falling in a cascade. You can’t stop them. You’ve lost complete control as you lay there sobbing. “Hold me.” 

He doesn’t say anything else, his arms wrapping around you and tugging you close against his chest. He locks you in his embrace, holding you tightly against his chest as you cry. It feels good. Life and energy flows through you again for the first time in weeks. That empty space in your chest begins to fill slowly, warmth blossoming in your body despite the sweat soaking you both. Johnny offers no complaints as he presses his face into your hair. 

How you missed this. 

How you need this. 

You seem more relaxed at dinner. Despite your angry outburst the day before, and your sudden illness, you look significantly less miserable than you did your first attempt at joining them for dinner. The yelling did a number on your throat, but even now it’s nothing compared to that first day. You’re having soup again, and this time there’s a side of mash and peas next to the bowl. 

You even walked to the table without the crutch. 

Simon sits beside you again, all of them taking their respective seats at the table. They’ve assigned themselves these seats, even when you don’t join them for a meal. You’re at the head of the table as you were the first time, Simon and Chrstine on either side of you. Kyle and Johnny are seated next to them, and John is across the table from you. You’ve been avoiding looking at him. You haven’t even so much as glanced up at him. 

Simon is watching you carefully out of the corner of his eye, trying not to make it obvious. If you’ve noticed, you haven’t shown any disapproval. He’s ready in case he has to act fast again, but you are far more steady than you were that first time. There’s no tremble to your hand as you bring the spoon up to your mouth. 

The others look happier than before too. Johnny has stopped crying. Not even a sniffle from him ever since this morning when he emerged from your room. None of them had said anything about it, though they have an inkling of what had happened, judging by Christine’s lack of reaction to it. Kyle looks happier too, sitting straighter like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It probably has, with the lightening of the mood. Whatever happened with Johnny this morning, it’s made a huge change already.  

John has never been much of a religious man, but god bless Johnny for whatever magic he worked this morning. 

You don’t even look feverish as you sit there, spooning soup into your mouth. A lingering low-grade fever, Christine had informed them earlier that afternoon, but significantly less concerning than things had been yesterday.  

He’s glad to hear it. He’s always glad to hear Christine’s updates on how you’re doing, how well you’re healing, at least physically. The body heals easily. Mentally...there’s still a long way to go. Healing physically will help mentally, but with all the trauma, years and years of trauma, it’s going to take a long time to heal from that. 

The clink of your spoon in your bowl draws him from his thoughts and he glances up at you. 

“Getting full?” Christine asks as you take a sip of your water, wincing slightly as you swallow it. 

“Can I have some tea?” You ask. 

“Sure,” Christine says, going to push her chair back, but John is already standing.

“I’ll make some.” He says, not offering any room for argument as he turns his back on the table to head for the kettle. 

You’ve been drinking more tea lately, likely to soothe your throat. He never thought he’d see the day, given your determination to stand with Johnny on the side of coffee. It’s a bit late for coffee, but he does know it wouldn’t keep you awake in the slightest. You love your sleep, as most omegas do, and nothing will get in the way of it. Not even some late evening caffeine. 

He sets mugs out on a tray, deciding to make tea for everyone. At least that way it’ll make it seem less targeted at you. He’s not doing it to try and impress you or win your affections back. He just wants to help take the load off of Christine’s shoulders. She’s done so much for you, for all of them, already. 

He steeps the tea before bringing the mugs to the table along with some milk and sugar. He knows at least Simon and Kyle will drink some, and he will as well. He brings the kettle over, filling the mugs with tea. All of them sit there watching him, waiting tensely for what will happen next. Will you take the mug of tea he offers? Or will you refuse. Even if you threw it in his face, it wouldn’t make him mad. It would be horribly painful, yes, but he would deserve it. 

Perhaps him doing this was a mistake. 

He stares at the sugar and milk as he grabs one of the mugs. Do you like sugar or milk in your tea? He’s not sure. He doesn’t even know how you take your tea. He knows you like creamer in your coffee. But how do you take your tea? 

What a sad excuse of a human being he is. 

You don’t look at him as he sets the mug next to your water glass. You’re still eating your soup, your hand trembling just slightly now. Your scent is tainted still, a whiff of it filling his nose. Displeasure, a hint of burning anger. 

This was a mistake. 

He sets the milk and sugar next to you first, letting you finish making your tea. He won’t push that boundary and risk making it wrong. It would only add fuel to the fire, make it more obvious that he knows and cares so little for you. He doesn’t even know how you take your tea. 

He takes his seat again as the others help themselves to the tea, even Johnny taking a mug. Whether he’s doing it because he wants to make the moment feel less awkward, or because he genuinely wants some, John will never know. 

He made a mistake in doing that. 

Still, despite the awkwardness, it felt good to do that. 

Maybe that’s how they get closer to you. 

The little things, things that take some of the pressure off Christine. She has to be getting tired, going nonstop all day. Anything they can do to help, they should. Things seemed to go well with Johnny, so maybe the others can have some success in their attempts to gain your favor once more. 

John will have to stay away for now. Distance is what you need from him. 

That’s alright. He has other things he can do. 

He tries to hide the small grin on his face as you pick up the mug, taking a sip of the tea. 

They’re fighting. 

You stand at the back door watching them throw punches. They’re solid punches, nothing held back, no pulling them. They’re all breathing heavily, two of them watching the other two fight. 

Simon’s fist meets Kyle’s shoulder, Kyle’s fist going for Simon’s head but he’s too fast, ducking before he drives his shoulder into Kyle’s stomach. Kyle hits the grass, disappearing from your view. 

John steps forward, pulling Simon back and speaking to him, but you can’t hear from this distance. 

“Still out there?” Dr. Keller asks, stepping up beside you. 

“Yep.” You say, watching as Johnny takes Kyle’s place against Simon. 

“John did say it would be good for them.” Dr. Keller says, wincing as Johnny’s fist hits Simon’s ribs. 

“They’re gonna start a real fight.” You say, watching as Simon starts to get more aggressive. You can tell because you’ve been in that position before. You’ve seen when that switch starts to flip, when the alpha starts to take over. He was never this aggressive with you, but perhaps even his alpha could be rational given your obvious size and strength difference. 

And the fact you’re an omega. 

“Well, that’s their problem.” Dr. Keller says. “As long as they keep it out there.” 

“They might make you patch them up afterwards.” You say. 

She lets out a snort. “There’s ice packs in the freezer and a first aid kit in the bathroom.” 

You try to hide your smile as you watch John get in between Johnny and Simon, speaking to Simon again. Maybe it will be good for them to get some of that pent up energy out. They’re all used to being so active and always having something to do. Being stuck inside has to be driving them stir-crazy. Simon has been going on runs in the morning, and you know John has been going on walks every so often. 

You’re starting to feel a bit stir-crazy yourself. It’s taking you back to the days shut up in the barracks, unable to go anywhere or do anything, having to entertain yourself for hours while they were gone. At least there you had space and room to move around, even when you were being trailed, one of them constantly following you around. They might not be hovering quite as obviously here, but it still feels suffocating, like you can’t truly have a moment to yourself. 

“I want to go for a walk.” You say, shifting on your feet. The likelihood of you going very far is slim, at least right now. 

How far you’ve fallen from your running days. 

“I suppose you could go for a little walk.” Dr. Keller gives you a sideways glance. “Might be good to help get your strength back. I doubt they’d let us go without one of them, though.” 

“Probably not.” You agree, knowing they won’t even let you sit out on the porch without one of them watching. If you left the house without even telling one of them, all hell would break loose and you’d be condemned to your room once more. 

The thought makes you wince. 

You almost wish you could go out there and throw some punches at one of them. That might make you feel a bit better. Hell, line them all up and you’ll take turns beating the crap out of all of them. Maybe that might heal some of the anger and pain still stuck inside of you. 

That’s an idea for a different day, though. 

It’s oddly warm out today, or at least that’s what Ashley said. Soon the weather will turn, though, and the cold rain will come. Lots of rain. 

Your eyes flick between Ashley and Dr. Keller. The three of you are seated in a circle around a table outside, steaming mugs of tea in front of you. Neither of them are staring at you, instead focused on each other as Ashley speaks. 

Dr. Keller has a crush. 

It’s not hard to tell. Her eyes are focused on Ashley, a smile tugging at her lips. Her gaze only flicks to you when you shift and move in your seat before she’s staring at Ashley again. You can’t blame her. You can hardly bring yourself to look away from Ashely too. 

It makes you almost miss Kyle. 

They have the same soft brown eyes and the same bright smile. They’re both perfect, like they were chiseled out of marble and brought to life. They even laugh the same, a genuine chuckle coming right from the chest. 

It makes you want to laugh, even if you have no clue what was being said. 

How has Kyle been handling this? You’ve hardly paid him any mind. His connection to John puts him too close to the source of your anger and rage and pain. Johnny cries, Simon is a brick wall, John reeks of guilt and misery. Kyle...you don’t know. He’s been a blank spot, a hazy figure in the distance. 

It almost makes you feel bad. You’ve completely cut him off, isolated him. Has he cried? Has he been sulking? How miserable does he feel about everything? Does he feel guilty or miserable at all? He has to. They all do. 

Good. You think. They deserve it. 

“You do get stuck in your head, huh?” 

Your gaze snaps up, looking between Dr. Keller and Ashley. They’re both staring at you quietly, a small smile on Ashley’s face. You did get lost in your thoughts again, stuck in your ruminations as you usually do. Lately it hasn’t been a problem, as you’re alone or with Dr. Keller often. You’re supposed to be thinking and processing. It just happens at the worst times. 

Simon would hate it still. 

“Something specific on your mind?” Dr. Keller asks. 

You probably shouldn’t say anything. How would you explain how your mind went from Dr. Keller crushing on Ashley to hoping the guys feel guilty? You’re not even sure you should reveal that you know about Dr. Keller’s crush, especially if she hasn’t said anything yet. You don’t think she has. They’re not...close in the way a couple would be, a distance still between them. Does Ashley feel the same way? It’s hard to tell since you don’t know her quite as well yet. 

Maybe that can be your goal, besides healing. Something to focus on, something to distract from the constant emotions and pain. Get Ashley and Dr. Keller together. 

They’d be perfect for each other. 

“Not really.” You finally say, looking down at the book in your lap. You’re about halfway through it. It’s fine. Nothing to write home about. 

“What do you think of the book?” Ashley asks, sensing your end to that discussion. She doesn’t push. You like that about her. 

“It’s alright.” You shrug. “Kinda slow.” 

“They are spending a lot of time on character development.” Dr. Keller says. 

“We should keep a tally of how many times the phrase “his dark eyes” gets mentioned.” Ashley says, making you laugh. 

“It’s good to hear you laugh.” Dr. Keller says, smiling at you. 

“It...feels good to laugh again.” You say. “It’s nice to have something to laugh about.” 

“Well then I’m going to make that my mission.” Ashley says, taking a sip of her tea. “Get you to laugh as much as possible.” 

You don’t think you’ll mind that one bit.

“There’s something we need to talk about.” 

You don’t turn to look as Dr. Keller sinks into the seat next to you. It’s raining again, the rain pattering against the window as you sit in front of it. They won’t let you go out in the rain. 

“Something that is rather important.” She continues. “Something you should know.” She clears her throat, not waiting for a response. She knows she won’t get one. “When you told John that he left you there to be tortured...is that what Graves told you? Did he tell you they left you behind?” 

Her words have something sinking in your stomach. Your insides are squirming, your intestines tying themselves in knots. You haven’t even thought about that. You’ve been so caught up in the emotions, swept up in the anger and devastation. The memories of what happened are still blurry, still stuck in the recesses while your body heals. 

That pit in your stomach continues to drop as she stares at you, waiting for an answer. 

You don’t want to answer. 

“Hey,” She says softly, leaning to try and stay in your line of sight as your eyes begin to drop to the side. “We need to talk about this.” There’s a serious look on her face as your eyes slowly lift to stare at her again. “Do you believe they chose to leave you behind with Graves?” 

Tears prick behind your eyes as you stare at her. Of course you do. Why wouldn’t they? They’ve left you behind so many times, what’s another? They don’t care that you were being tortured. They never cared that them leaving you before was like torture. Why would they waste the chance to go after Shepherd before he found a place to hide? 

The job comes first.

“Yes.” You breathe, a tear sliding down your cheek. You want to say it, let all the thoughts rushing through your mind pour right out of your mouth but the tears choke you, keep you silent. 

The serious mask on Dr. Keller’s face melts away to a sympathetic look. It doesn’t surprise you. It’s the look she often wears when she looks at you. 

“Oh, honey.” She says, reaching out, but you withdraw yourself further away. “They didn’t leave you behind. They were doing everything they could to try and find where you were. John about blazed a path across the US to find you.” 

You don’t want to believe it. It sounds too good to be true. Her words stir the bitter pot in your stomach, the anger at them and at yourself. You let yourself believe that they would care about you, but they led you to believe they cared. They left you so easily and you never said anything to them to try and keep them with you. They left you behind when they knew it was dangerous, and you believed Phil when he told you they had abandoned you. 

Why would Phil tell you the truth? He wanted to torture you, wanted to take out his anger on you. It wasn’t your decision, nothing was your decision, but in the end the mark on your shoulder sealed your fate. You’d never belong to him. The more he could tear you and your pack down the better. The more hopeless you felt, the more you hated the members of your pack, the more satisfaction he would get. 

He wanted to drive the wedge between your pack, and you fell for it. 

Tears glide down your cheeks as you turn to face the window. They mirror the droplets of rain sliding down the glass. Your fingers curl against the fabric of the chair, your breaths starting to come in gasps as reality begins to settle in. 

“You’re okay.” Dr. Keller says, kneeling next to the chair. “I was there with them, I saw just how desperate they were. They wouldn’t leave you like that. Trust me.” 

Can you trust her? Can you trust any of them? Part of you would like to. The part of you that wants things to go back to the way they were, when things felt fine, when you still believed your pack loved you. Back when you could be delusional and believe something good could come of this entire situation. 

Now you’re stuck with a pack that never wanted you. Now you’re stuck with the trauma of the last few weeks, trauma you should have never faced in the first place. Not if your pack truly cared about you. It was always a risk, but you always believed they would take care of you, they would keep you safe. 

Now look at you. 

A sob tears from your lips as you sit there, the thoughts quickly growing to be too much. Dr. Keller reaches for you but you pull away, pushing yourself up to stand. You move towards the bed, grabbing one of the plush pillows. You bring it to your face, letting out a long, muffled scream.

The scream dies in your throat as you jolt awake in bed. The book that had been in your hands when you fell asleep drops to the floor with a quiet thud as you jerk up into a seated position. You’re breathing heavily, your breaths coming in ragged gasps as you try and calm your racing heart. It’s beating hard like it might beat right out of your chest. You’re shaking, your hands clutching at the baggy shirt you’re wearing like you’re trying to cling to some hope that it was all a dream, that you’re awake now and this is real life. 

Sweat beads on your forehead as you sit there, shaking in the darkness. You need someone. The shadows are closing in around you, your nightlight unable to keep them completely away. You need someone to fight them back. You need someone to reassure you that it was all just a dream, someone that can wipe the tears streaming down your cheeks and whisper softly to you that it’s all okay. That it’s all over. 

You need Kyle. 

Where is Kyle? How do you get to him without waking the others? You could go upstairs but what if they think you’re an intruder? You don’t even know which room Kyle is in. You wish you had a phone. You wish you could call him. You wish you could just telepathically reach out and tell him you need him and only him. 

You’ll wake them all anyway trying to find him. 

You suck a breath in, your hands still shaking as they cling to your shirt. You have to do it. It’s the only way to get them all down here, to get Kyle down here. 

You take a couple deep breaths before you scream. 

Within seconds the house is alive, footsteps racing across the living room towards your room as others thud from above. 

The overhead light stings your eyes, forcing them closed. It’s too bright, intrusive even with your eyes pinched closed. You can still see it behind your eyelids, harsh and too artificial. Just a price you have to pay to get what you need. 

Dr. Keller’s hands are soft as they peel your hands off your shirt, your fingers trembling with nothing to hold on to. They open and close, seeking out something to grip, something to give you an anchor to reality. You’re still panicking, your breaths shaky as you shit there, trembling in fear. 

“You’re alright,” She tries to soothe you, brushing your sweaty hair back. “It was just a dream.” 

You wish it was. 

“Kyle.” The name comes out as barely a whisper, stuttering out of your trembling lips. 

“What was that, sweetie?” Dr. Keller asks, leaning in closer. 

“Kyle.” You whisper louder now, the name shaky in the tense silence of the room. 

“Kyle,” Dr. Keller repeats, standing up straight. 

Quiet, hesitant footsteps approach the bed. Your eyes are still pinched closed against the harsh overhead light. You can’t bring yourself to be brave enough to open them, to face that harsh light. It might reveal the truth, that it was all just a dream, that this is still just a dream. 

It might not be Kyle approaching the bed at all.

You can’t know. You don’t want to know. You’re afraid to open your eyes. 

There’s a click as the lamp is turned on. You still can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. It’s supposed to be comforting, the soft light, but it could be used against you, giving you a false sense of hope and security. 

You flinch as the overhead light is turned on, still too afraid to open your eyes. Your hands have closed around the blanket pooled at your waist, gripping it so tightly your fingers are aching. It’s real. You’re touching it, you can feel the texture of it in your hands. It’s real. 

It’s real. 

Your breaths are shaky as you breathe in and out, trying to catch a scent. Any scent. Something to tell you that you’re really awake, that it really is Kyle standing next to the bed. 

“I’m here.” A soft voice says, something hovering in the air next to you. 

Kyle. 

You know that voice. You’d know it anywhere. 

You finally crack your eyes open, tears brimming as you turn your head to look up. Kyle is standing there awkwardly next to the bed, his hand raised as if he was reaching out to comfort you, but thought better of it. You’re glad he did. You might have spiraled into another panic if he’d touched you before you knew it was him. 

You stare at his hand for a moment before you peel one of your hands away from the blanket. Your hand is shaky as you lift it, reaching out towards his own trembling fingers. 

His fingers are warm and rough, just as you remember as they close around yours. You’re still shaking, a cold sweat forming on your skin as fear trickles down your spine. 

What if this is a dream? What if this isn’t real?

“I’m here.” He says, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles. 

You want to believe him. You really do. 

You pull his hand closer, pressing your cheek against it. His skin is warm against your cheek, and like Johnny, he makes no complaints about your sweat smearing on his skin. You’ve been that close to them before, sweat mixing together, slicking skin. How far things have fallen since then. 

Your tears drip onto his skin as you hold him there, just breathing him in for a moment. He smells like the sea, but with that soft, light scent underneath. You missed that scent, more than you realize you did. 

You let out a quiet sound as you rub your cheek against his hand, almost like you’re trying to embed his scent under your skin. 

He doesn’t say anything as you lean against his hand, tears still streaming down your face. The lamp is pushing some of the darkness away, but it’s not enough. It’s never enough. You can still feel the eyes from the dark corners of the room, the shadowy figures just out of view threatening to reach out and tear you away. 

A shudder runs down your spine, your fingers squeezing around Kyle’s in what has to be a painful grip. 

“I’m here.” He says again, pulling you from the dark thoughts plaguing your mind. He’d know if someone was here. He’d know if anything threatening was nearby. 

It’s his job. 

The job. 

The thing that’s kept you so separated from them, kept you at a distance. The thing that put your life in danger, that exposed them all as liars. The thing that’s left you an empty shell.

Maybe having him down here was a mistake. 

But the shadows...

You tug on his hand, pulling him closer to the bed. He sinks down on the edge carefully, still a bit hesitant. You don’t blame him. It’s not like you’ve been the most welcoming of them. For good reason. 

You need him right now. That need for safety and security far outweighs the conflicting emotions battling in your brain right now. 

“Stay.” You say, the word tumbling out from your trembling lips. 

“You’re sure?” He asks, his thumb still stroking your knuckles. You’re not sure if he even knows he’s doing it. 

You nod, tugging him closer as you scoot over in bed. He lets you guide him, laying on top of the covers.

You try not to think about it too much. 

It’s nice having him close. The shadows don’t seem quite as dark, the threats in them silent now that he’s here. He’ll keep you safe. He’ll protect you from the silent threats. That’s why you want him. That’s his role to play in all of this. They all have roles, they all have their places in the pack. They all have a part to play, not just for you but for each other. 

They’ve been struggling. 

They’re struggling because you’re struggling. 

The silence is loud as you lay there listening to the hum of electricity. You’re not quite sure what to say, how to break the silence. What is there to say that you haven’t already conveyed by your silence? What is there to say beyond what you’ve conveyed in your anger? They all heard your outburst, they all know the source of your anger and what they did to cause it. 

What’s left to say when you have nothing tying you together anymore except a claim and a half-broken bond? What is there to say when saying the wrong thing might fray that bond even more than it already has been? 

“I’m sorry.” Kyle says, finally breaking the tense silence. 

Of course he’d start with that. 

You let out a huff, turning on your side to face away from him. “I know you all are. You don’t have to keep saying it.” 

He lets out a sigh. He knows it. He’s not apologizing to you, for you. “Nothing can change what we did and we know that. We just...want you to know that we’ll do whatever it takes to help you and support you. We don’t want to push that boundary too far, but we’re all here if you need us.” 

You let out a hum. You already know that too. That’s why Johnny came so willingly, that’s why he stayed. That’s why they all tiptoe around you and stare at you like you’re a wild animal that may strike at any moment. 

Part of you wishes they wouldn’t. 

Part of you wants to go back to the way things were. Part of you wants to pretend that everything is normal again, that you love them and they love you just as much. You want to go back to that comfortable, seamless flow of one around the other, the way they all moved in sync, aware of each other without even needing to look. You want to insert yourself into that flow again and let them guide you along with them. You want to trust them blindly again and know they’d catch you if you fall. 

They proved they won’t though. They proved you can’t trust them to catch you. You’re on your own again, forced to catch yourself, forced to save yourself. You have to make that rope to catch yourself with. 

Yet, a deeper part of you yearns for that connection. Your omega screams for it, for your alpha, for your pack. You want them back with you, you want the bonds to heal and to be stronger than they were before. You want them to do as they said and prove to you that they’ve changed, that they're putting you first. 

The omega should be first. The omega should be the center. The omega should be the sun they gravitate towards, revolve around.

That’s what the book said. That book that’s sitting on your desk in the barracks. That book you read over and over, convincing yourself that it was true and they were a good pack like that book said. 

They’re not. 

We all make mistakes. 

They’ve never had an omega before. How are they supposed to know how to have an omega in their pack if they’ve never had one before? None of them came from big packs. John is the only one who’s ever even dated an omega before. They’re just as new at this as you are. 

You probably know more than them. 

You spent years learning how to be an omega in a pack. You read the books and wrote the essays and did the research. You read that book. 

Simon read that book too. 

Yet he did nothing. 

“Why did you want me?” Kyle asks softly, pulling you from your ruminations. 

You turn your head to look at him, staring into those soft brown eyes. Brown eyes you’ve missed. Tears trail down your cheeks as you stare at him, wetting the paths of the ones that had slowed to a stop in your rumination. 

Why did you want him and not Johnny? 

Johnny was the one that came for you, that comforted you, that got you through your fever. Johnny was the one you asked to hold you, to give you that support you’ve been so desperately clawing for. 

So why did you ask for Kyle?

You turn onto your back again so you’re laying side by side, your shoulder brushing his. He’s warm, and you just want to nuzzle into him and never let him go again. 

Another tear slides down your face as you stare at him, at that concerned look on his face. “I need you to tell me it’s going to be okay.” 

That concern morphs into understanding as he shifts slightly, reaching out for you. You let him, you let his thumb brush the tear sliding down your cheek away. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just staring at you as you lay there in the warm light of the lamp. The shadows don’t seem so close now, so threatening with him here. The things that lay in the darkness waiting for you to sleep so they can seep into your mind and stir up the horrible memories lying there in wait are at bay for now, fought off just simply by his existence in this room. 

His thumb continues to brush your cheek, your skin tingling along the path it follows. “It’s going to be okay.” He says softly, quietly. 

You’re not sure if he’s convincing you of that or himself, or perhaps both. You don’t know what he’s feeling, what he’s been feeling. You’ve been ignoring him, pushing him away out of fear that if you looked too closely, you’d break down. That bond will never break between the two of you, held tight with steel simply because of that claim your alpha and his alpha has on the both of you. No matter how much you hate John, that bond can’t be broken. It can’t be cut. It can’t go away. It can’t be denied. Not completely. 

A small smile tugs at Kyle’s lips, a reassuring smile. His words are stronger this time, spoken with more conviction and surety, like he’s speaking it into existence, manifesting it for the future when things perhaps can be different. 

When things are better. 

“It’s going to be okay.” He says, cupping your cheek, staring right into your eyes as he speaks. “We’re going to be okay.” 

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