#izzy knows to make himself available when needed but only when needed. nothing between them is light anymore

[fist-amidst-the-hands]

tagged by @blackberrywars to do wip wednesday! does anyone else remember when I said I was aiming for posting a wip weekly? yeah me neither

since I haven’t been writing lately this one is from maybe a month ago, just a tiny snippet that’s (as usual) much bigger in my mind. may or may not write up the whole thing, so I put some additional context / plans in the tags!

—————————-

A simple request. No... not a request. An order. Two words. Quiet at the onset but growing steadily in Izzy's mind, blooming and spilling over to cover every corner.

The whisper of a smile at the corner of Ed's eyes meeting the desperation swimming within them. The soft pair of footsteps padding from above deck to below contrasting the heavy pounding of Izzy's heart echoing in his head, the intensity threatening to shake apart the blossoms that had so recently taken residency.

All of it sharp yet muted, loud yet far away.

[bytheangell]

A Very Successful Hunt

( @shadowhunterbingo​ square: Hunt. Clary/Izzy, no warnings) (Read on AO3)

Isabelle could do without Clary Fray showing up out of nowhere with her stubborn determination and eye-catching red hair and paint-splattered jeans. She could absolutely do without a gorgeous new girl hanging around the Institute, inserting herself in a world she barely knows anything about as if she’s been there her whole life… and yes, Izzy could definitely do without the huge, raging crush she has on the new Shadowhunter.

Isabelle takes to Clary so fast it’s scary. The fact that Clary shows up with Simon in tow sends up a few warning flags, especially with the way the mundane-turned-vampire constantly follows Clary around. She’s wary, but Clary and Simon insist they’re just friends. Once Isabelle knows that Clary is unattached, nothing can stop her from shamelessly showing off every time Clary’s around in an attempt to draw her affection.

Isabelle orders around anyone stationed under her while Clary’s nearby, showcasing her ability to take command and the respect others give her, toeing the line between being impressive and intimidating. When that doesn’t work she tries to cozy up to Simon hoping to get some information about Clary out of him, but also to show that she can care about what’s important to Clary, too, since Simon is clearly important to Clary. Izzy always saves her best outfits for days she knows Clary will be around and tries to arrange her schedule to be free for sparring during Clary’s training.

Isabelle does everything she can to catch Clary’s attention, to no avail.

Unfortunately, whenever Clary’s around she seems to be more interested in Jace. Isabelle watches Clary barely make eye contact with her, and shift her gaze to Jace instead as they pass down the hallway. When they’re in groups Clary speaks with Jace first, sometimes only speaking with Jace and pointedly ignoring Izzy. In fact, at times it’s painfully obvious the way Clary always tenses up around Isabelle but seems perfectly relaxed around Jace.

“I never thought I'd say this, but I’ve never wished I was you more than I do right now,” Izzy admits. Because of course Clary’s drawn to Jace, with his stupid ‘I don’t even have to try’ charm.

“If I could, I’d trade with you in a heartbeat,” Jace reassures her. She’s seen the way he’s eyed Simon the past few days, even if he hasn’t openly admitted it.

Isabelle wonders when she should just accept reality and cut her losses, but she isn’t ready to give up quite yet.

---

“It isn’t fair,” Clary sighs, flopping back onto the mat in the training room.

“I could just stop coming around with you,” Simon offers, trying to help.

“No, it’s fine,” Clary says. It isn’t fine, not when every time Simon is around Isabelle shamelessly shows off in front of him, but she doesn’t blame either of them, not really. “It’s just a stupid crush anyway.”

“It isn’t like I like her back,” Simon points out. “You should still go for it. Who knows what’ll happen?”

Clary eyes him curiously. “...why wouldn’t you like her back? She’s perfect.”

“For you, definitely,” Simon agrees. “But have you seen Jace?”

Despite her pining, Clary snorts out a laugh.

“Seriously,” Simon continues, steering the topic back to her. “Why not just talk to her?”

Clary sighs again, mostly for dramatic effect, as she pushes herself up off the mat. “Because every time I get near her I freeze up! I can’t even look her in the eyes without blushing, so I just stopped looking at her at all.”

“You’re a disaster,” Simon says, not unkindly.

“Tell me something I don’t know. Anyway, it’s never going to happen. There’s no way I’m setting myself up for failure when I already know the answer. I mean, we both saw her while I trained today.”

Jace trained with her today, and the entire time Clary watched Isabelle smile and laugh at everything Simon said as the two of them talked off to the side of the room. Clary didn’t miss the way Isabelle’s intense gaze met her own, as if to make sure she saw her with Simon, and why else would Izzy do that if she wasn’t trying to send a very pointed message that she’s interested in him?

Clary isn’t sure if Isabelle’s looking for approval or issuing a challenge, but it doesn’t matter either way.

Simon winces. “Yeah. Sorry, I panicked once she started talking to me. I didn’t want to be rude to her and ignore her, but if you want me to next time, just say the word and I’ll kick her to the curb.”

Clary only sighs in response, wondering how long she can manage to avoid Izzy before she has to confront her feelings head-on.

---

Simon knows he’s taking a risk when he corners Jace the following day. Clary is out on a patrol so she won’t be back for at least another hour, which is plenty of time for him to talk to Jace without her seeing.

“Hey, if I tell you something, can you promise not to tell Clary I told you? Or Isabelle?” Simon jumps right to the point, because if the answer is anything other than ‘yes’ he doesn’t have to bother with the rest.

“That depends on what it is,” Jace says.

Simon considers that answer. “It’s just…look, you need to get Izzy to lay off the flirting, okay?”

“Did Clary say something?” Jace asks.

“I know Izzy means well. But I’m not interested, and it’s killing Clary to watch-”

“Wait, you’re not interested?” Jace frowns, brows furrowing.

“Listen, I mean, she’s hot and all but-”

“Simon, she hasn’t been showing off for you,” Jace says. “She’s trying to flirt with Clary.”

“What?!” Now it’s Simon’s turn to be confused. “No, she spent the entire day flirting with me yesterday! You were there.”

“She’s just being nice to you because you’re important to Clary. No offense,” Jace adds quickly.

Simon is still reeling from the revelation that Izzy likes Clary back too much to care about the unintentional slight against himself.

“But Clary obviously isn’t interested, so really, I don’t know why she keeps trying,” Jace adds.

“But Clary is ridiculously interested!” Simon protests.

“Then why does she keep talking to me and ignoring Izzy?!” Jace demands.

“Because she’s a disaster and panics every time they’re together!” Simon points out, then after a moment of silence laughs. Jace looks surprised, then starts laughing as well a few seconds later.

“Alright, so they’re both disasters. Should we tell them?” Jace ponders.

Simon shakes his head. “No. Clary will never believe me anyway. I think they have to figure it out themselves.”

Jace smirks. “Okay… but maybe we can just help them speed the process along.”

---

Isabelle and Clary are the first to arrive in the tunnels for the emergency call about a reported demon sighting.

Clary won’t stop pacing, looking anywhere but at Izzy. When Clary finally speaks it’s the last thing Izzy wants to hear.

“Where’s Jace?” Clary asks, glancing at the entrance.

“Great question,” Izzy says, just as her phone buzzes with a text. “...and the answer is that he isn’t coming. Something about another report across town. Guess it’s just the two of us this time around.”

Izzy tries not to overthink the immediate look of panic on Clary’s face at that as they set off.

The first few minutes are spent in an almost painful silence until they come across the demon - it’s just one, thankfully, and Izzy’s quick to place herself between it and Clary when she spots it, dispatching it easily with her whip and a little extra flourish.

“I’m surprised you’re still showing off without Simon around to impress,” Clary says, and despite the smile that’s meant to be joking Izzy swears there’s a bitterness behind the words.

“Why would I need to impress Simon?” Izzy asks, trying to sound nonchalant. Had Clary realized what she was doing, trying to win over the best friend for brownie points? Did it backfire?

Clary just rolls her eyes. “We should go a little further, in case there are more,” is all she says.

“Sure,” Izzy agrees, left wondering what Simon was saying to Clary about her as she takes the lead down the tunnel again.

Izzy makes it a point to kick every stray rock she comes across with her boot, mostly to vent a little bit of her frustration, because otherwise, she’s going to snap and ask Clary why she doesn’t like her, and that’d just be sad and desperate.

One of her kicks, while admittedly a bit lost in her thoughts about the redhead walking several steps behind her, lands a bit too hard and the rock hits the wall of the tunnel hard, the sound echoing in front of them. The sound of wings immediately sounds back.

“Clary, watch-” Izzy starts, but Clary is already moving to grab Izzy by the waist and pull her down to the ground, just as a colony of bats flies through.

“I’m surprised you didn’t just let them hit me,” Izzy mutters.

“What?” Clary says, and Izzy curses because she didn’t think she said it loud enough for her to hear.

Izzy debates just pretending she didn’t say anything at all, but maybe it’s finally time to accept the way things are going to be. “Listen, I can be cool about this, okay? We can work together even if you don’t like me back.”

“What?!” Clary repeats. “I- You’re the one who doesn’t like me!”

“... excuse me?” Izzy says, suddenly very aware that they’re both still sitting on the ground. She stands herself up and brushes the dirt off her dress. There’s a short silence as Clary stands and does the same with her jeans, confusion evident when she finally turns her gaze back to her.

“You like Simon,” Clary says, as if this is the most obvious thing in the world, then frowns. “...don’t you?”

“No! I mean, I don’t hate him or anything, but I don’t like him like that. I’ve been trying to impress you and you barely look at me! What do you mean you like me, you ignore me for Jace all the time?”

“I don’t… that isn’t what I…” Clary starts, then stops, then starts, then stops again, worrying her lower lip. There’s a very long pause in the conversation, and for a few moments Izzy is positive that Clary is just going to turn and walk away without another word before she takes a deep breath and forces the words out.

“How am I expected to show up and just be cool around you when you’re-” Clary breaks off to motion up and down at Izzy. “You’re you! Of course I’m a mess around you, I can barely think straight!”

Izzy smirks at Clary’s choice of phrasing. “Well, no straight thoughts about me is a good start,” she says.

Clary balks. “See! That! I can’t do that!”

“Obviously, or we probably wouldn’t be in this mess,” Izzy points out.

“...says the girl who thought flirting with Simon was sending a clear message,” Clary counters.

“Okay, I wasn’t flirting! I was just being nice so he’d like me, so you’d like me for being nice to him! Which, in retrospect, might be easily misconstrued,” Izzy admits. “But that isn’t important.”

Despite the confusion and hints of annoyance and surprise and disbelief that are all jumbled together right then, there’s a nervous excitement rising up between them as the implications of their realization start to settle.

Izzy takes a tentative step closer to Clary - and this time, Clary doesn’t look away or step back. This time Clary moves to help close the space between them, and Isabelle grins against the press of Clary’s lips.

---

Simon and Jace are both waiting for them to return, and Clary catches the knowing smiles on their faces when she walks in with Izzy, close enough their arms brush against each other as they laugh.

“I take it the hunt went well?” Jace asks, glancing between the two of them.

“Very well,” Izzy says with a wink.

“Pay up, Lewis,” Jace says, holding his hand out.

Simon groans, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a $20 bill.

“...there wasn’t a second demon sighting, was there?” Clary accuses, eyes narrowing.

“Nope,” Jace admits. “I bet Simon if we got the two of you alone long enough, Izzy would cave and say something to get you two together finally. Simon bet Clary would panic and double-down to deny it even if you did.”

“Simon!” Clary says, though after her recent bouts of pining she can’t really blame him for the lack of faith.

“In his defense, you almost did,” Izzy points out.

“Not the point,” Clary pouts. Izzy leans in and gives her a quick kiss, and Clary’s lips immediately turn up in a smile.

“That’s better,” Izzy says, smiling back.

“By the Angel, what have we done?” Jace groans dramatically. “I can’t watch any more of this. C’mon, Si. I’m suddenly $20 richer, first drink’s on me. I think we earned it,” Jace offers.

Simon looks surprised for a second, then nods eagerly before following Jace out of the Institute.

Clary looks over to Isabelle with a slight, knowing smirk. “How long before they realize?”

“I’d give it a week.”

[pagingevilspawn]

Can you write something in the timeline for season six in which Alex leaves Izzie and leaves Seatle for Jo. After a few years, Jo ends up in the hospital having a baby, and they go to the emergency room where Izzie, Meredith and the others are, and while she's nervous she talks about her husband leaving her for a wife with cancer and so on, and then Alex shows up.

moving on, letting go

PLEASE DON’T SKIP THIS!

I was intrigued by this prompt, but I had to change some things up. This seemed like another affair thing, so I wanted to change that. I don’t like affairs, (I’m serious. I don’t). Here’s some things you gotta know! 

1) Alex and Izzie got a divorce. he didn’t leave her while she had cancer. I'm going with what’s exactly canon in season 6. Alex didn’t leave izzie and seattle for jo, he left on his own account and met jo later on. 2) after leaving seattle, izzie returned to grey-sloan for her fellowship. (it’s before she would’ve had the twins in canon-verse). 3) There’s less of an age gap between them than there is in canon. 

also, i don’t know how to write izzie. so if she’s OOC, that’s why. it’s actually izzie-centric though, because i couldn’t see this going any other way. the ending is also a bit rushed, because i really jut wanted to post something.  

three years after alex leaves seattle, he finds himself back there, with his ex-wife as the one to deliver him and jo’s child. 

“Incoming trauma! Thirty year old female who was rear ended on the 95. No damage was done except for the fact that she was in active labor. They’re bringing her here now. Page L&D, and get a room ready!” Doctor Miranda Bailey shouts, her booming voice heard by everyone in the ER. Interns scuttle around, trying to fulfill their bosses wishes at her beck and call. She may not be the chief, but she sure seemed like she was. She had the ability to command anyone in the room, and never took no for an answer. Taking over the ER that day wasn’t something that she had planned, but both Hunt and Kepner had come down with something nasty and she was the only surgeon available. 

It was only a few minutes later when the gurney comes rolling in, carrying a pretty brunette who was wincing through her contractions, gripping the handle bars so tightly her knuckles were turning white. 

Izzie Stevens rushes over to her, as for she was the on-call OB, following the gurney into a room. She snaps on a pair of gloves, brushing a stray piece of blonde hair out of her eyes. “Hi there, I’m Doctor Stevens. I’m gonna lift up your shirt so we can make sure your baby isn’t in distress. Is that okay…” she trails off, pulling the ultrasound closer to the gurney and grabs the jelly, shaking it as both a way to prepare it and stall some time while she waited for a response. 

“Doctor Wilson,” the girl in the bed answers, nose scrunching up as she feels another swift kick to the ribs. “Sorry—” she stutters a laugh, “Habit.” she answers “Jo. Jo Wilson. But I am a doctor, so no need to give me all the watered down crap.” 

Izzie gives the woman a sincere smile, appreciating the upfrontness. “Good to know Doctor Wilson.” She lifts up the woman’s shirt, squirting on the ultrasound jelly, smearing it around until the woman's stomach is properly covered. She moves the wand around until the heartbeat thumps through the monitor. “Steady and strong. You’re very lucky Doctor Wilson. I’m gonna send you up to L&D now, but I’ll be sure to be there to monitor you.” she adds some notes into her tablet before turning back to Jo. “Is there anyone you would like to call? Are you waiting on the father or are you doing this independently?” she asks, peeling off her gloves and dumping them in the bin. 

Jo shakes her head, loose curls flying back and forth. “No my—” she’s cut off by another contraction, and she lets out a large, staggering breath as she clenches her eyes shut, waiting for it to pass, and it does twenty-three seconds later. “My boyfriend is on his way.”

Izzie nods, “Well, we’ll get you set up and I’ll be up in a few minutes so I can check your cervix Doctor Wilson.” she says, getting closer to the door, ready to assess another pregnant mother. 

“Thank you. And please, if you're going to be looking up my vagina, you can call me Jo.” she grins, her voice taking a teasing undertone.  

The blonde gives a small chuckle, her ponytail shaking as she moves her head back and forth. “Will do Jo.”

She turns out of the room and uses the stairs to take her to the L&D floor, where the sound of expecting mothers in labor couldn’t be missed. She checks on a few patients, seeing how far they had advanced while she had momentarily stepped away. Not too long after she enters a new room, where Jo was glaring at a spot in an empty corner, trying to get through yet another contraction. 

When Jo sees the woman enter, she lets out a low laugh. “I swear, if he doesn’t get here soon I am going to murder him with my bare hands.” she says, only half serious. 

The blonde laughs, shaking her head fondly. “Is he close?” she asks, putting on yet another pair of gloves, this time pink. 

“Thankfully,” she sighs. “This baby wasn’t supposed to come for another two weeks. My boyfriend has a conference here at UDub, and he told me so many times that I can’t go but of course I fought him on it, because I can’t sleep if he’s not next to me and neither can the baby. I realized about five hours in that I made a stupid mistake, because I had to pee every thirty minutes, and I was sure my boyfriend wanted to toss me out of the car. He didn’t though, because he loves me way too much. Thank god. So he cancelled his flight and quite literally drove across the country with me so that I can sleep at night, and now I’m going into labor two weeks early, while he’s at a lecture.” Jo rambles, not letting out a single breath until she was done. 

Her eyes widen, an embarrassed flush creeping up onto her cheeks as she avoids eye contact, biting her bottom lip between her teeth. “Sorry,” she apologies. “I tend to go into long speeches when I’m nervous.”

Izzie just smiles, giving the woman a reassuring pat on the leg. “It’s okay, I would say labor is a good time to be nervous. Is it okay that I lift up your gown?”

Jo nods, “Yes, sorry. Let’s see how close this baby is to coming out of a very tiny hole.” she chuckles, trying to lessen her nerves to the best of her ability. She really was terrified. Her pregnancy had not been planned what-so-ever. It hadn’t been easy, between all-day sickness and the occasional spotting, she had been in constant fear. But besides all of that, she had to come clean to Alex about everything, her abusive husband, her abortion, her name-change… It was something that she had worried about immensely, the fear of him leaving and wanting nothing to do with her once he found out about her past keeping her up some nights. She still had the occasional dream that she would wake up to an empty bed with only a note left on the pillow, ‘I can’t do this’. Alex helped her through it though, and when she spilled her past to him all he did was envelope her in his arms while she cried, placing kisses in her hair as she wet his shirt with her tears. 

I’m not going anywhere Jo, he told her, and after nine long months, she knew that he was sticking to his word. She just really wished he was here right now, because contractions hurt like a son of a bitch. 

“So,” the blonde snaps her out of her thoughts, “You’re a doctor. Where?” Jo knew she was trying to distract her from the pain, and for that she was more than thankful. 

“Johns Hopkins. I’m a surgical resident and my boyfriend is a pediatric fellow.” 

The woman at her feet looks impressed, giving her a small smile as she checks Jo’s cervix. “When you said you were a doctor I was kind of expecting it to be from some kind of hospital I’d never heard of, no offense.”

Jo laughs, “None taken.” She was used to it by now. On multiple occasions when she was asked where she worked she was met by a bit of silent surprise. Even if you weren’t in the world of medicine, you knew Johns Hopkins. 

Izzie flips the gown back down, “You’re about four centimeters dilated, if you want an epidural now would be your last chance.”

The brunette shakes her head. “No thanks. I’m gonna push this baby’s giant head out drug-free and regret it later on.” she brushes back a stand of hair, “That wasn’t sarcastic. Well,” she scrunches up her face, “It kinda was. But no, no epidural.” she settles on, just as another contractions comes through. She hisses through her teeth, and both of them waiting until it was over. 

The woman chuckles, “I’m seriously gonna kill him if he’s not here within the next thirty seconds.”

As if to prove her point, Jo grabs her phone from the bag next to her bed, scrolling through it until she reaches Alex’s contact. Harshly slamming on the call button, she brings the phone to her ear, not needing to wait long until the familiar voice reaches her ears. 

“Hello?”

“Where the hell are you?!” she hisses into the phone, clutching it closer to her ear as if it would make her words even louder and bring him to her quicker. 

“I’m about twenty minutes away. There’s some really bad traffic and I'm backed up pretty badly. Taking the side streets isn’t an option either. Just remember to breathe, and I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay,” Jo sighs, rolling her chapped lips together. Him telling her to breathe in all honesty wanted to make her slap him, but she resisted solely because of the fact that he wasn’t there yet. “I love you.” 

“Love you too, —oh wait, you do know you’re where I used to work right?” Alex asks her through the phone, and she can practically hear the smile in his voice. 

“What? I thought you worked at Seattle Grace?” 

“I did. Turns out they changed the name. Grey-Sloan Memorial. Guess I know who died.”

She tries to muffle a laugh, but it still comes out in a huff. “Be nice!” Typical of him really, no respect what-so-ever for people, even the dead. He already knew about the passings of his fellow co-workers though, so it wasn’t like he wasn't affected by their deaths. He was still in touch with Meredith Grey, as he told her, texting and skyping on birthdays and holidays, and any free time they had in between. Plus, she’d met the woman multiple times via video calls.   

“Alright, I’ll be there soon, bye.” 

“Bye.” she pushes the end call button and flops against the bed as gently as she can, because it seems to be as though every small movement sent a pain through her body. 

“He almost here?” the blonde questions, lingering in the doorway of the room, waiting to see if she should stay put or check on some other laboring moms. 

Jo nods, “He should be here in about twenty minutes.” she sighs. “Fair warning, he’s a peds surgeon, so he’s gonna come in here all high and mighty, acting like an asshole because he doesn’t think anybody can take care of his own baby better than him. But,” she lets a small smile escape. “Just because he acts like an asshole doesn’t mean he is one. You know the type?”

Izzie just laughs, “Oh, believe me, I know the type.”  

____

Twenty-five minutes later Izzie is checking Jo’s cervix once more, pulling down her gown once she was done. “You’ve moved up to five centimeters Jo, congrats.” she gives the woman a smile, about to stand up when a man comes through the door. 

“Jo, I’m so, so sorry it took so long,” he rounds to the side of the bed, pulling the woman into a side hug and kissing the top of her head. 

Izzie froze at the voice, a voice she knew all too well. A voice she hadn’t heard in over three years. The voice of her ex-husband. The voice of the one and only Alex Karev.   

“I tried but all of these assholes wouldn’t let me in no matter how many times I blasted the damn horn. Hi, I’m Doc—” his eyes widen comically when he finally turns to face the blonde, hand stuck out straight in front of him. 

His mouth hung open, finally clearing his throat after a few seconds of straight silence. “Hi, Izzie,” he settles on, giving a tight lipped smile and a subtle nod of his head. 

Jo looks between the two, eyes scrunched until an expression of frustration crosses over her face. “Alex freaking Karev,” she all but seethes. 

“Please, please tell me that your ex-wife isn’t the woman who is going to be delivering our baby!” she practically screeches, digging her sharp nails into his hand as she goes through another contraction. 

Izzie perks up immediately, “I’m so sorry Doctor Wilson. If you think that this is too weird or a conflict of interest I can gladly recommend another doc—”

Jo immediately shakes her head. “Nope. No, no, no, no, no. I like you, Doctor Stevens, and you’ve already seen up my vagina and I would prefer there not be another person who needs to look up there.” she wipes a bead of sweat off her forehead. “So as long as you two can be professional divorcees, I would greatly appreciate it for the sake of this baby.” she grins sarcastically at the two of them. 

She knew it really wasn’t the greatest idea to have her boyfriend’s ex-wife deliver her baby, she knew. But Doctor Stevens was nice, and switching her OB no would just add to the stress that was currently accumulating through her body. If one more thing were to go wrong, she wouldn’t trust herself not to throw something at a wall. 

Izzie nods, biting her bottom lip. “Of course. It’ll be no problem Dr. Wilson. I’ll be back in thirty minutes.” With that she turns out of the room, stopping when she was out of sight to bang her head against the wall. 

“Oh god.” she mumbles to herself, letting her head stay in its position for a little while longer.

It was going to be a really long day.  

____

She drops her tray onto the cafeteria table with a loud sigh, burying her head in her heads for the umpteenth time that afternoon, letting out a long groan as she does so. Meredith and Cristina exchange suspicious looks until the blonde eventually shakes the other woman. “You good?” she asks hesitantly, still unsure of how to act around her old friend. 

Izzie had transferred back to Seattle Grace (now Grey-Sloan) just over four months ago to pursue her OB GYN fellowship. They had all changed a bit since the early years of their residency, so most of the time Meredith was overly cautious of how to act. They weren’t the same person they were three years ago. New traumas, relationships, losses… knowing the person they knew then wasn’t the same as knowing the person they did now. 

Of course, they still got along well. Izzie had surprisingly made quick friendships with Jackson and April, since all rivalries were now in the past. But knowing how to talk to someone you didn’t know all too well with emotions you haven’t seen on them in years was difficult and something she wasn’t quite sure how to deal with. 

“Alex is here,” she lifts her head up from the table, only to be met with one wide-eyed stare, and another confused. 

“Yeah,” Meredith pipes in, taking a bite of her fries. “He’s in Seattle, giving a lecture at UDub. How do you know that?” she asks suspiciously. 

“Wait, how do you know that?” the blonde asks, furrowing her brows.

Meredith shrugs, “We talk. Skype. We actually have plans to meet up tomorrow as long as I don’t get called in. Why do you know that Alex is here?” she prompts again. Last time she checked, Alex wasn’t in contact with his ex-wife. 

“He’s here,” she emphasizes, throwing her hands up in the air. 

Cristina smirks, “Stevens, we know he’s in Seattle, but if you’re going around stalking your ex-husband then—”

“No! He’s here here. He’s in the hospital,” she huffs. 

Both of the women’s eyes widened, “What happened?” Meredith asks, getting up from her seat, fries already forgotten, while Cristina looks concerned.  “Is he okay? Why—”

“No, no he’s fine.” she shakes her head, the gravity of the situation suddenly hitting her full force. “He’s here, with his pregnant girlfriend, who’s in labor.” she states slowly, snatching a fry from her friend’s plate and shoving it into her mouth. 

“Jo’s having the baby?!” “Evilspawn knocked someone up?!”

Both women exclaim at the same time, Izzie looking at the two with skeptical eyes. “Wait, Mer you knew?” 

The blonde only scoffs, “Of course I knew,” she quickly runs over to the nearest trash can and dumps her tray in, jogging back over immediately after, a tiny bit of ketchup left on her thumb from her fries. 

“Mer you never told me anything,” Cristina hisses once she returns, sending her a sharp glare. Her and Alex weren’t really in contact with each other anymore, but whenever she would barge in on a call or Skype session between the two she would join in the conversation easily.

Meredith rolls her eyes, “I forgot,” she states. “But that’s not the point. Izzie, what room are they in?” she asks, eyes wide and frantic. 

Izzie only looks stunned. Meredith knew that Alex was seeing someone, more-so, having a kid —and didn’t tell her? It’s not like her ex frequently came up in conversation, but knowing that he was so… far ahead in life was worth mentioning, right?

“What’s that face? I don’t like that face.” she says quickly, noticing the look of disappointment flash across the lighter blonde’s features. 

She sighs, composing herself quickly. “Nothing. It’s fine,” she brushes it off, holding eye contact in hopes that it will disarm them. Meredith only raises an eyebrow, and she knows she has to let them know. 

“I was thinking about using the embryos,” she says quietly, gauging their reactions. It was the truth. She was at a good place in her career, making a healthy living… she was prepared to take the next step. She’d wanted kids for as long as she could remember, and she felt like now was as good a time as any to move forward. 

The blonde only bites her lip, while Cristina takes a sip of her empty drink, practically slurping on ice. “Were you planning on getting back together with him, Stevens? Because that seems like a long shot,” she deadpans, raising her brows. 

“God no. I wasn't planning on getting back together with him, I—” she huffs, burying her face in her hands once more. “I wasn’t even planning on telling him.” she sighs dejectedly, averting her eyes away from the two.

“Well that would’ve never worked,” Meredith tells her, flipping her hair behind her shoulder. “I would’ve called Alex you know.”

“I didn’t know you were still in contact with my ex-husband Mer!” she explains. 

The darker blonde only chuckles, “Yeah, I would’ve told him if you were planning on it Iz,” half scolding, half disbelief. 

“I get that now.”

Meredith sighs, perking up when she remembers why they were having their conversation in the first place. “Which room is Jo in?” she steers the conversation away, knowing that this was a topic for another time and another place.  

“119,” she says. “Give me one second to throw my stuff away, I need to do another dilation check.” 

The other woman scrunches her brows, “You’re still her doctor?” she asks. If Addison were to suddenly become her OB because of unexpected labor, she wasn’t sure how she would react. Then again, she’d actually met Addison and knew that she was the best of the best, while Jo had never met the blonde before today. She was just known as ‘Alex’s ex-wife’. She wasn’t sure if she would be so easygoing about the situation, but she had gotten to know Jo in the three years she’d been with Alex, and she had quickly learned that when the brunette was thrown curveballs, she found a way to work around them. 

“Yeah, she said she didn’t want to change doctors since she already trusted me,” Izzie answers, mentally brushing off her nerves. 

She was more than just thinking about using the embryos, she was planning to use them. When her and Alex got divorced, he gave her full rights to the embryos, so whatever she chose to do with it was her choice. Using them or not was entirely in her control, and was going to go through with it. But now… now things were different. She was planning on doing it on her own, raising a little boy or girl by herself, maybe with her friends pitching in every now and then. She had no obligation to tell Alex before, and well, yeah, it would’ve been the right thing to do, she didn’t need to. But Alex was already expecting a kid, and she could tell from their brief interaction, that while he was terrified, he was also over the moon. 

She could still go through with it, if she wanted to. Try to find a way to make co-parenting work. But, Alex lived in Maryland, and sending a child across the country every couple of weeks or fighting for custody was something she would hate more than anything else. Plus, Alex already had a family, him and Jo, and the little baby that they were now going to be bringing into the world. For some reason, she didn’t want to disrupt that. 

“Then what are you waiting for?” Cristina’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts. “Time to see a baby evil spawn!” ____

Six hours, twenty three minutes, and thirty-four second later, Emily Meredith Karev is brought into the world, screeching at the top of her very healthy lungs, hands curled into fists and kicking her little legs everywhere, only settling down once she was placed on top of her mother’s chest. 

The new mom had tears streaming down her face, a mixture of happiness and pain after over forty-five minutes of pushing. Alex had a look of pure joy on his features, a smile so wide it practically reached his ears.

Izzie hustled out of the room a few minutes later, once all tests were done and everything was okay, leaving the new parents to be with friends to celebrate the baby girl. She walks to the nearest vending machine, sliding in a dollar and paying for a bag of barbecue chips. She takes a seat on the nearest gurney shoved against the wall, taking a few moments to finally breathe. Her eyes drift closed as she relaxes, leaning her head against the wall, thankful that no laboring mothers currently needed her attention.

It wasn’t too long after when she heard footsteps coming her way, pausing when they stopped in front of the vending machine. She cracks an eye open to see Alex facing the glass, punching in the buttons A7 for a packet of red-vines. 

“Congrats,” she speaks up, causing him to jump, relaxing when he turns around and sees that it was just her. 

He gives her his signature half smirk, “Thanks Iz.”

“You’re in trouble though, Alex Karev,” she grins. “That little girl looks just like Jo.” she laughs softly. She may have only been around the newborn for a few minutes, but that was enough to see that the little girl already had a tuft full of dark brown hair, golden-hazel eyes, and Jo’s nose. Already a mini version of her mom. 

Alex groans, running a hand through his hair. “Don’t remind me. She’s not allowed to go near anyone until she’s at least thirty-five,” he states, already shaking off the thought of the little girl he loved more than anything in the world dating someone.  

Izzie scoffs playfully. “With those looks? You’ll be lucky if she makes it through a day in the nursery without having all the other babies whipped.”

He only smiles good-naturedly, giving her a small smile, letting a few beats of comfortable silence pass between them. 

“I’m happy for you, Alex,” she reassures him. And she was. She would always love Alex, but he was a part of her past, the same way she was a part of his. Being in love with someone was different than loving someone, and that was where they both were with each other. 

“Thanks Izzie,” he sighs, grateful that she knew that he was still a bit anxious about their whole encounter. “You have any kids?” he asks, hoping for a way to settle his nerves. 

She only shakes her head. “No, but I’m thinking about adopting.” It was true. Just because she decided that the embryos were no longer in the running, she wasn’t going to give up on being a mom. 

He gives her a smile. “That’d be good for you,” he says. “You’d make a great mom, Iz.” and she knows that he whole-heartily means those words. 

She bites her lip, “Thank you, Alex.” she perks up, nodding towards the end of the hallway where Jo’s room was. “And you’re already an amazing dad.”

With that he heads back down the hall, and she smiles to herself, because he already got his happy ending, and she was on the way to having hers. 

Things really do happen for a reason.

[badonk-writing-vault]

Moments of Reprieve

“And you’re sure this place is secure?” 

Dalton sighed when Randall went to check the curtain for the fifth time in two minutes. His anxiety was understandable given recent events, but Dalton been holding out hope that getting to the safehouse would’ve calmed him down. Given the tapping Randall’s fingernails were doing against the glass, he knew there would be no such luck. 

               “I’m positive,” he assured for what felt like the hundredth time that day while unzipping his suitcase and beginning the lengthy ordeal of unpacking all of their things-- God knew Randall wasn’t going to do it. 

On the way up to the cabin he had entertained the thought of making Randall practice regular-people things, but seeing him on edge now, he decided against it. At least for the remainder of the day. He’d see how things were in the morning. 

               “Okay…” 

Randall made no move to leave his spot by the window and Dalton shook his head. 

               “Y’know, keeping the curtains closed helps to keep yourself hidden.”

That pulled a small irritated sound from Randall’s throat but it also did the trick because he released the heavy fabric and smoothed it back over the window. Dalton had little time to celebrate the achievement however, because his charge was quick to turn around and ask him how long they would be needing to stay.

               “Until Izzy sends us the all-clear. Could be days, could be months. So get comfy.” 

A groan answered him and he rolled his eyes. Leave it to Randall to complain about being kept safe. 

Granted, given the current state of the safehouse he supposed a small amount of complaining could be permitted, but only when it was being directed at the state of the place. Dalton knew it was probably difficult to remember to keep the maintenance up to date in a secluded place in the mountains, but the sheer amount of dust and dirt was ridiculous. Not to mention the fact that the food inventory was damn near expired and he’d already had to contact one of their operatives to bring them some things from the market. Grime he could handle, but that had just been unacceptable. 

On top of all that, the power had been turned off for months which left the entire house a freezer. As it stood, he was genuinely surprised Randall hadn’t complained about the cold yet. It had become clear early on into knowing him that he hated any temperature that wasn’t nice and cozy, so it was odd that he had said nothing on the frigid state of the cabin. Even Dalton had begun to shiver, which meant Randall must have been miserable. 

It was that thought that had him setting down a shirt into the nearest drawer that smelled of mildew and heading into the living area. From what he remembered the cabin had a fireplace. It would be irresponsible to start burning electricity now when the safehouse was known to be rarely lived in. He didn’t want to bring attention to the place but burning wood would be fine. They were deep enough in the forest that nobody would notice the smoke. Plus, if the weather forecast had been accurate and they were supposed to get snowed in, fire would become a necessity. 

To his surprise when he walked out, Randall had beaten him to the task. Or rather, was attempting to. 

 Dalton stood there a moment, allowing himself to feel a smidge of amusement as Randall continually rearranged pieces of wood and kindling, trying and failing to get them to stay lit. Only when it looked like Randall might scream did he make his presence known by stepping up behind the smaller individual, his legs pressing against Randall’s back. A bout of tension ran through the man until he seemed to realize it was just his bodyguard, and he relaxed against the stability Dalton provided. Dalton felt triumphant over that small fact. 

               “Having problems?” Dalton smirked a touch and Randall huffed, handing him the matches. 

               “People make it look easy,” Randall grumbled, moving aside so that Dalton could take his place and get things situated correctly. 

               “It is easy.” 

 Dalton struck a match and let it catch on a fire starter, watching as the flames slowly licked at the kindling until a living fire was born. When he looked up Randall was frowning at him, then at the fire. It took a moment for Dalton to realize that the look was embarrassment. 

               “But it’s only easy when you know what you’re doing,” he amended and breathed an internal sigh of relief when Randall’s features smoothed over with an understanding that only seemed a little dubious. 

               “Right,” he intoned softly. 

His attention was glued to the tongues lapping at the sap still clinging to the bark, its bubbling and popping growing louder under the building heat. The reflection of it turned Randall’s eyes into the brightest amber hue Dalton had ever seen and looking away from them took considerable effort. 

The idea of snapping Randall out of his reverie ran by but Dalton ignored it in favor of watching him for a few more moments. He was sitting Indian-style, arms settled over his knees as he leaned forward to watch the fire grow. If it weren’t for the tight way he held his shoulders and the stiffness in his back, Dalton would have thought he’d finally relaxed. But no, he’d most likely decided to use the fire as a distraction from the paranoia and fear that had clung to him like a second skin since they’d left the Institute. 

Dalton wished there was something he could say or do that would convince him that he was well and truly safe where they were. Surely Randall understood that he wasn’t about to let anything happen to him. Dalton thought he’d made that abundantly clear at that point that he would protect him no matter what. But then, maybe he hadn’t, because Randall was still so clearly on edge. 

Pulling himself away from his observations, Dalton took an objective look around the cabin space. It wasn’t a huge thing; one floor, a bathroom, a bedroom, a kitchen and living are, a storage closet, a laundry room and a shed. That was about it, as far as he could recall. And he only really remembered the shed because his ATV was in there and had been since the last time he’d stayed around. 

It was homey, the cabin. Perhaps that was what set Randall off, kept him from relaxing fully and trusting the security. All he’d ever known was white walls and the smell of sanitizer, of being surrounded by people and noise no matter the time of day. Something like this was probably so foreign to him he didn’t know what to do with himself. 

He was probably more stressed than he let on. 

Dalton hummed quietly to himself and wandered into the kitchen to remind himself what was available in the dusty cabinets. The counters also had a fine layer of gray and he grabbed a rag that smelled of age from the nearest drawer and quickly wiped them down. He busied himself with small tasks like that until he had an array of cans stacked on the newly cleaned countertop. It wasn’t much. Some beans, veggies, fruits… enough for a few meals at best-- although even saying they could make a meal was being generous. 

But he supposed Randall wouldn’t know the difference. He’d only recently been acquainted with solid food at all, so he’d be happy with whatever he got. Dalton took small comfort in that fact as he scoured the room for a can opener before he set about heating things up. He found silverware and bowls, gave everything a quick wash, and then brought the food into the living area which had warmed up to an acceptable temperature. 

Randall hadn’t moved from his spot. 

Dalton didn’t let the concern show on his face when he settled down beside him, nudging Randall’s knee with his own to get his attention before putting the bowl in his hands. 

               “Oh,” he mumbled, surprised, “Thanks.” 

Dalton tried not to stare too much as his charge went about eating, spooning the sad bean and carrot mixture into his mouth slowly, as if unsure if it was safe to do so. And then, all caution abandoned it seemed, he shoveled it into his mouth as quickly as he could without drawing attention to the fact that he was clearly starving. 

Dalton pretended not to notice as he ate his own food at a leisurely pace. There wasn’t much else he planned on doing for the rest of the evening after he got the suitcases emptied. He was too tired to start deep cleaning, and he didn’t think leaving Randall alone for a long period of time would be a good idea either. He’d made peace with the fact that he was going to be sitting out here with him for some time, probably well into the night. At some point he’d have to convince him to try and sleep, even if Dalton already knew it would be a futile attempt given how high-strung Randall clearly was. 

For now, though, he’d just sit with him in companionable silence. Or at least, he would have if he hadn’t noticed the tremor in Randall’s hands when he nearly dropped his spoon while bringing it away from his mouth. 

               “Hey.” 

 He grabbed the nearly empty bowl from Randall’s hands --which were still cold-- and tilted his head until he could see his face. Randall swallowed hard and averted his gaze, looking back at the fire. The tremor was still present when Dalton slipped the spoon out from between his fingers and Randall quickly balled his hands in his lap. 

               “What’s wrong?” 

 Dalton watched his face carefully, catching the slight pinch of his brows when the question seemed to register. 

               “Nothing,” Randall stated, cold as his skin, “why would anything be wrong.” 

It wasn’t a question and Dalton nodded slowly as understanding began to dawn on him. Or rather, a registering of what he’d already been aware of. 

He grabbed Randall’s hands up, cupping them between his to warm them, which finally pulled the man’s attention back to his face. Dalton offered him a small, if sad, smile. 

               “I know this is a lot to get used to,” Dalton started, inching closer so that he was sharing some of his body heat with Randall, “but you’ll get there. It doesn’t have to be now-- I’m not expecting you to know what to do with yourself yet. But… do you trust me when I tell you you’re safe?” 

               “I…” Randall cut himself off and looked down at where his hands were trapped within Dalton’s. He didn’t try to pull away. 

               “I don’t not trust you. I believe you’ll try to keep me safe. But you can’t guarantee that nobody knows where to find us. You can’t know if we’re being tracked right now. I still have this thing in my head.” 

Randall did pull a hands out from the cocoon Dalton had made then to dig his nails into the back of his neck where the scar was. Where the chip was. Dalton quickly snatched his wrist back before Randall could do any proper damage to the fragile skin again and brown eyes blinked in what looked to be disbelief.

               “Izzy made sure the tracking feature was disabled. They can’t get to you with that. You know that.”

               “I don’t know what I know anymore!” 

Randall growled and glared at the fire once more, as if it was the source of all his anxieties. The statement was enough to upset Dalton. Randall wasn’t someone who ever questioned himself. Randall had always been the shithead who was confident in what he knew. He was someone who flaunted his intellect and skill and never worried about what others thought. He didn’t care about the problems of others, whether they liked him or not and he’d certainly never worried about his place in life because he’d known where he was supposed to be. And before a month ago, he’d never had to worry about anyone trying to kill him, either. 

Now, it seemed that was all he could worry himself with. And Dalton couldn’t blame him. Everything he had been taught, raised on, and worked for, had turned out to be a lie. 

               “You don’t know anymore? Fine.” 

Dalton scowled at that thought and grabbed Randall’s chin, gently guiding him back to face him. 

               “But I do.”

               “Do what?” 

               “Know that I am never going to let anything bad happen to you. Not again. Anyone who thinks they can hurt you will have to go through me. If you don’t trust anything else, trust that.” 

Any frustration on Randall’s face was replaced by wide eyes and a gasp of bewilderment. His fingers uncurled in Dalton's hand and he shook his head just a bit. 

               “But--” 

               “No buts,” Dalton shushed and to his surprise, Randall went silent. “I’ve already taken a bullet for you, remember?” 

Randall’s eyes darted to where the lump of scar tissue hid beneath his shirt. Dalton nodded. 

               “You don’t think I’ll do it again?” 

Randall said nothing to that. 

He said nothing when he shifted so that his whole body faced Dalton and he got up on his knees. Nor did he speak when he grabbed the back of Dalton’s neck and pulled his face closer until there was no space between them at all. A small noise escaped into the room, but Dalton didn’t know who made it. 

It was Dalton’s turn to be tense then, even as his own hands slid up Randall’s sides to hold his waist. 

His brain had died and yet was running wild at the same time with thoughts of: Wait what? And I should have seen this coming. And Why am I not stopping this? And… and Oh. Oh, there we go. Randall pulled away just as Dalton began relaxing into the kiss and even though it had been short, his voice still came out breathless. 

               “I know you would. But if we’re being corny here, then I’d rather you didn’t.” Dalton couldn’t help but laugh. 

               “Fine, I won’t take a bullet. I’ll just kill anyone who tries to hurt you. Sound good?” 

               “Mm, okay.” 

 Randall finally smirked, the expression the most normal one Dalton had seen on his face all day and he wanted to kiss him for it. 

And then he realized he could. 

Dalton brought his hands to cup either side of Randall’s face, which was now warm with a blush, and he took a moment to brush over the scar at the base of his skull. Randall shivered and Dalton drew him close again, slotting their mouths together like he’d imagined doing so many times before and relishing the soft, content sigh that Randall released. 

Time slowed in the next several minutes as they shared breath and ended up curled around one another on the floor. Randall had gotten himself settled beneath the shelter of his arms as Dalton leaned over him, peppering his face with quick kisses that made him squirm, the gentle kind of attention not something he was yet used to. 

Dalton felt almost ridiculous, getting high on the feeling of Randall’s lips against his like some sort of lovesick teenager. That didn’t stop him from grinning when Randall swiped his thumb over his bottom lip, leaving it tingling. He nipped the tip of his nose in retaliation and Randall scoffed at that. 

               “If I’d known it was this easy to get you acting like an idiot…” He trailed off, sitting up to capture Dalton’s mouth again, which he allowed easily enough.

He was right, Dalton was acting like an idiot. After all, Randall was his charge-- he was supposed to have a purely professional relationship with him because anything less would consider him compromised. It was stupid, doing this, letting himself have what he’d been wanting since he’d first seen Randall for who he was and not what the Institute wanted him to be. 

It was stupid. Idiotic. Quite possibly a mistake. But with Randall right there, smiling for the first time in days, softly laughing every time Dalton moaned or trailed feather-light touches across his collarbones, he decided he didn’t care. 

If he could carve out even a moment of security for Randall by being an idiot, he would. He would do it over and over again until Randall realized that he was allowed to feel safe

[normal-thoughts-official]

I'm ignoring my responsibilities in favor of watching the All Malec Moments video compilation so get ready for a livewatch no one asked for

Hodge is so incredibly wrong about everything he says about Magnus and it's kind of impressive because all he says is heavily supported by the Clave's files, which. Is proof of how great Magnus is at manipulating them and having them think exactly what he wants them to, tbh. Especially considering that as much as Magnus closes off emotionally, he was always very caring and kind to all other downworlders and warlocks, like, they all know they can trust him, he was named HWoB, he has a thousand kids, he took them all into hiding, etc. But the Clave and circle members are still 100% sure he's a super greedy lothario who's good for nothing but partying, and like. Obviously it's because they racist but they have an intelligence system and a file full of pictures and information and it all seems to support what Hodge is saying about him. So like Magnus was quite literally living a double life, with a whole personality he put up for shadowhunters and enemies, and another for his allies and friends, and even that one isnt 100% him because he was still trying to protect himself by closing himself off from relationships. and thats fucking impressive like my man is so smart i love him

Their first official talk is so funny magnus literally goes "I'm magnus" and Alec goes "Alec" and then he smiles and then he just goes. "Oh yeah right we should uh we should go to the hmm youhavebeautifuleyes what's it called hm" and its hilarious because they exchanged three (3) words and Alec is already all lost because Magnus is just That Beautiful. also all Magnus has to do is introduce himself and Alec smiles for the first time in 4 episodes like bro. bro. seriously. help him

he's SO frustrated when Alec doesn't get the "i love a dirty lair" flirt like he does that little eyebrow raise and hes just like "what the hell i thought that was GOOD" but Alec's head is legit playing wii music

Magnus pays izzy for "defending the warlocks" i had forgotten about that and it makes me so soft ;-;

Magnus and Izzy were just vibing with magnus asking her what presents Alec likes and clary immediately interrupts to ask about the memory demon like homophobic from day one i guess

Magnus is positively impressed by the way Clary goes "I'll do anything to save my mother" you can see how much he values loyalty right then have i mentioned that i love him

we talk about the "I'm talking to you" part a lot but we never mention how Magnus just throws that one and yeets off with clary not even waiting for a reaction he's just like that's RIGHT bitch you have beautiful hazel eyes too! do with that what you will i am now summoning a demon goodbye forever

the second him and Clary are away from the rest he tells her not to trust anyone and to be careful, like... ugh he cares so much it's unreal and again very deliberate, flirt a little, give izzy a necklace, throw in some innuendos, make it seem like it's all very innocuous so no one bothers to follow them or listen in when he goes away with Clary alone, and then immediately warn her about the clave when he gets away from the others. like he cares so much and he's so good at keeping that visible only for those he wants to it's astounding, my man is so talented and i hate that he had to learn to do that to survive but god i admire him and how committed he is to helping others too. like he could say "welp who cares it's dangerous imma go fuck off" like ragnor did but not only did he stay but he had a huge vulnerability with all his generosity and he never gave that up not for a second, even as he closed himself off from having any close friends or family or lovers, he never was anything if not generous and kind

the way he deliberately calls Jace shadowhunter in the most uninterested and even lowkey condescending way after the "pretty boy" incident idndjdndi we stan a king

the way Alec and magnus hold hands to summon the demon and even Magnus seems a bit shocked at the intensity of the sound and the bond that they make like. obviously they have their little staring contest and Alec is doing the Lightwood Intensity™ thing but like you can see Magnus frown just slightly and be a little confused because it was so strong right off the bat. even the sound of when they hold hands is louder than when the others do, like you can just feel their connection and the way magnus' magic flows so freely through Alec like god the soulmate energy tbh

Alec has a full body jerk when they hold hands too and he's the only one like damn we get it u 2 r vibin get a room

Izzy going "you ppl are pathetic" straight to the hets is so funny especially after Alec reacted to holding magnus' hand like he had gotten a 1000W electric shock or something. but i get the feel maybe she did that deliberately so they wouldnt pay as much attention to Alec's reaction too

the special effects were truly so bad like we all knew this but damn

Jace is such an asshole like Alec made it to kill the demon because it was you know about to seriously hurt them all and Magnus had just said that he couldn't contain the demon for longer (and like we know that Alec is the only one who ever cared if Magnus overexerted himself out of the shadowhunters but like bro this affects you) and Jace just???? shoved him??????? against the wall???? like a fucking piece of shit??? they should have let valak kill him tbh

the first time magnus calls him Alexander is when he calls Alec to see if he wants a drink and it's just like very clearly a thing that's supposed to be between them two? like he never did it when there were others nearby and i dig that

the fact that when asking Alec out he said "it was nice getting to know you, you seem sympathetic" like he could have gone with a lot of better more flirty adjectives but for a second the truth slipped out and he said what he thought - that while Alec was objectively you know tall and strong and all what really attracted him was the way Alec clearly gave a fuck whether or not Magnus was struggling with his magic to keep the damn demon at bay. and that was before the magic sharing shit too when Alec proved him right by cleaning up his things and saying that he had exerted himself enough for one day. like so many ppl see Magnus as the All Powerful Son Of Asmodeus Who's Also There To Service Shadowhunters and Alec just shows the faintest signs of caring about his wellbeing and he's immediately drawn to him like damn Im sad

also maybe this might be why he asked Alec to come so he could draw from his strength specifically, like he knew from the little hand holding thing that Alec was open and receptive to his magic (which probably adds to the "sympathetic" stuff like the fact that Alec had such an intense reaction to his magic and yet didnt try to push it back or draw away from it basically shows that he's open to Magnus if that makes sense? not only because magic is a part of warlocks but also because shadowhunters are all taught that magic is like, dirty and evil, so it would be instinctive for Alec to be resistant to demonic magic in his body, but he wasn't, he accepted it so readily and intensely it was a shock to the both of them) and also that he cared enough to support him. he kinda had Magnus' back from the beginning, first killing that circle member in the club before Magnus even saw him, then helping Magnus kill the other, then immediately making it to kill the demon when Magnus said he couldn't hold him back for long. like im aware I'm reading too much into this but s1 malec was very kept to the between-the-lines and its very interesting to me to think what Magnus was thinking, even if obviously on a subconscious level. Alec was showing himself to be open, reliable and caring, and magnus values that, and hes attracted to him and he hasnt had that in a while, because he wouldnt allow himself, but now he's healing and the pull he feels when he finally gets that while being emotionally available enough to accept these little gestures of caring is really strong. love that for him tbh

i go FERAL over everything about the magic sharing shit okay i always have. the way alec shows up and Magnus is kind of falling over, exhausted from trying to hold onto luke, and Alec immediately runs to support his weight and make sure hes okay? and magnus even as he was about to fall over never had his magic falter, my man couldn't keep his balance but still wouldnt come close to stumbling and risking luke's life further for even a second. so when Alec gets there he's just quite literally having his back, supporting his weight, when even Magnus didnt care about that (which like. unhealthy) and was focused on luke? and like Magnus can focus on luke because Alec is there to give him his support and make sure he's fine and how long's it been since he last had someone to do that?? and it's clearly alec's first instinct and like we know Jace or even Clary wouldnt fucking react like that. and then they have this ridiculous fucking staring contest again like we get it alec you're gay panicking at Magnus' beautiful eyes but like pls? and then we get to the most important part which is TAKE WHAT YOU NEED

like JDNDJSNSKDNDJDBSHSBSUSNSISNSIBSZJBZUZBSJSBSISNSSINSIS *SCREAMS INTO OBLIVION, SENDING SELF OUT OF EARTH'S GRAVITY ZONE*

his reaction is just SO intense and immediate he's just like "take what you need" he just offers himself fully to help Magnus just like that, no hesitation, and like Magnus is literally drawing from Alec's strength/life force, there should be some kind of resistance, even from a regular person or a friend, like its a very natural instinct. but Alec just grabs his hand and goes take what you need and he doesn't resist he just lets him do it and lets Magnus take his strength, because he genuinely worries about his wellbeing and safety just because he does, he believes in protecting others and being there for them, same as Magnus, and to Alec it's the most natural thing in the world but to Magnus it's shocking because he's always been self reliant, he has to be, he's been alone too many times and he's been used too many times and he's scared of what he'll let people take from him if he opens himself up because he always gives and gives, and he hasnt even let anyone be there for him to have his back and give him support when he needed in these last few centuries, not fully, not since Camille. but Alec shows up and just immediately cares for him in both small (like later when he refuses to let Magnus clean his couch magically because he knows he's tired and does it himself) and huge (like literally not hesitating before letting Magnus use a super intimate and presumably draining spell on him without putting any kind of limit, so Magnus can not overexert himself like he always does) ways and it means so much to him? and hes just so drawn and attracted to him and suddenly he realizes he's catching feelings that he had forgotten how to, because of course he had been healing and opening up, but he still kept people at some kind of length that didnt allow them to take care of him even if they wanted to, but Alec got that opening and he dived right in, and Magnus realizes how starved he's been for this kind of care and support that he's been denying himself and he decides to chase this, take it seriously, and i just aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

and like again Alec doesn't even think twice about it, because he's always been the protector and the support anyway, and he doesn't want to let anyone struggle and also most of that is just him being a Decent Human Being, but just like he got that opening that no one else did before, he met Magnus at the right time and he was sympathetic and caring and that sparked so much in Magnus, made him realize just how much he's been craving affection and care and close contact with people, and being vulnerable emotionally, and all of that that he's been denying himself. obviously magnus is romantically attracted to him but right then Alec is unlocking honesty with himself inside of magnus, he's unlocking vulnerability and not using it against him but really making a good thing out of it, and magnus' forgotten it could feel like this, safe and nice instead of hurting and scary. and again it's such a simple gesture but fuck my boy's been starved!! for so long!!! okay! and he can't help but want to desperately clutch to that feeling because against all odds he trusts alec to see his vulnerability right then (and he deliberately lets him see it further when he gives Alec that drink, tells him he's been closed off, that alec's unlocked something in him. you can see all the sadness and hope and vulnerability in his eyes right then, pretty much for the first time in the show, hes just so open and vulnerable and that's deliberate! first time was a fluke but second time he's choosing to because he wants to see where this goes, and if the magic sharing scene is the spark, the drinking scene is the fire, because they're not in a life or death situation anymore, Magnus is choosing to give Alec a chance by showing him a glimpse of his insecurities and Alec answers in kind, letting Magnus see his own confusion and want, and also again shows his caring and doesn't betray or use magnus' vulnerability and fuck!!! Magnus falls in love right then because this boy stays with him all night and talks, and he sees Magnus look at him with shiny eyes and admit that he's been scared of relationships, and he tells magnus not to overexert himself, and they click and Alec is open to his magic and hes funny and hes compassionate and also passionate about what he believes in, and they have so much in common with the way they hide and care so deeply and protect others always and are so loyal and i just. udndjdndidjdjxnxjxnskxndk SOULMATES god)

I need to lie down actually this was a bad idea I'm not strong enough I'm too feral

Might continue this later who knows. I'll be tagging malec livewatch and also long post as always if you want to filter this nonsense out

[myulalie]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do a Malec fic on your ao3... Izzy and Jace find pictures in Magnus's work desk, of Alec in lingerie and heels? After after all did a photoshoot for Magnus' birthday? Thank you!

Hi anon! Thank you for your prompt! You can find it on AO3 or read here! I'll admit I was out of my comfort zone, but I had a lot of fun coming up with this story, hope you like it ♥

Talking bodies

One. Ops Center Alec squirms, uncomfortable in the leather chair, and tugs at the fabric of his black shirt. Cotton isn’t so bad, stark black against his too-white skin from locking himself away during the day, and only going out at night. At least his skin hasn’t erupted in rashes from the prolonged contact this time, he thinks.

The shadowhunter feels like he’s about to choke with the collar of his shirt leaning heavily around his throat though, and can’t help but feel wary. This is Alec’s battle gear. He usually wears these clothes when he leaves on patrol, but there is nothing to fight here, except the urge to slap Jace over the head.

Why do they have to get dressed in the Institute? Shouldn’t this Clary girl adopt their customs rather than demand they all get dressed to spare her from… from what, exactly? Alec has seen the way she blushed at the sight of Jace shirtless, Clary enjoyed the view. Is she jealous of Isabelle? She’ll look like Izzy, like them all soon enough, better start living like them too.

Hodge seems uncomfortable in his clothes too, his hair in disarray and his clothes as revealing as possible to let his skin breathe. The pink tinge of Hodge’s complexion clues Alec in on the fact that he’s not the only one that feels too hot right now.

Alec cannot see Jace squirm because the blond puts up a brave front for Clary, but the parabatai bond is taut with concealed frustration. There is a suspicious looking tinge at the back of Jace’s neck too, bright red on beige. No wonder the bond is so sour, Jace must be in pain, Alec muses.

Serves him right, Alec can’t help but express through the parabatai bond.

Alec looks up with a start when the screen lights up with pictures of a warlock, always surrounded by other downworlders. The man is beautiful, with luxurious clothes and Alec squints as he tries to catch sight of a scar, or maybe a defining trait on the smooth expanse of skin exposed by the High Warlock’s clothes.

Magic is nothing like shadowhunters battle skills and there isn’t much to learn from Magnus Bane’s outward appearance, except that he’s rich, and good at hiding everyone and everything. Alec doesn’t approve of the plan, but there isn’t much to do or say either way. They need Clary’s memories. He glances at Isabelle, propped on the edge of the table, and the back of Clary’s head, bright orange hair curling down her back.

“Can you two focus,” he interrupts the banter going on around him, “this is not a joke.”

“Someone needs to get laid,” Isabelle quips.

Alec rolls his eyes and makes a face in reply to his sister’s teasing. Isabelle got away with a sports bra. Her tawny skin — from lazing in the sun when she naps during the day — is left on display. Apparently this is alright with Clary, and Alec has to hide his envious look. He really wishes he could take off his shirt now.

As things are, he follows along with the plan, so there won’t be any getting out of his clothes until he’s back in his bedroom for some well-earned rest.

Two. Brooklyn Heights Magnus doesn’t give much away, even in person. Alec cannot find any tell-tale signs of age on this flawless face, and there are no scars marring this beautiful skin of sepia and magic. The sparkles of color dancing at Magnus’ fingertips always come too late for Alec to feel like he has a chance against the warlock; not that he wants to fight Magnus anyway.

Alec retreats by Jace’s side once he’s sure the loft is secure, and once again wishes the rest of the world, and Magnus specifically, would wear less clothing. The warlock doesn’t need these clothes anyway, Alec reckons. Even if Alec could read Magnus’ body like he does other fighters, magic would glamour anything of use to the shadowhunter. Magnus looks like a dancer, quick on his feet, and it makes sense with the way he wields his magic, this is not about strength.

The shadowhunter glances at his sister as she interacts with Magnus. Isabelle mastered mundane cues to look non-threatening, but Alec can read the danger in her muscular thighs and the few scars on her arms. She doesn’t get hurt often, because her opponents don’t have the time to do any damage.

Jace, in comparison, has many more scars — sometimes more than older shadowhunters — because he fights in close range. It speaks of recklessness, and survival.

Alec startles when Magnus gestures to boss them around, “Pretty boy, get your team ready.”

Jace steps forward at the command, but stops abruptly as Magnus pushes him back to point at Alec instead. The blond steps back reluctantly, glancing between the warlock and his parabatai, and Magnus ignores Jace.

“I’m not talking to you,” Magnus corrects, “I’m talking to you.”

Alec blinks, the flicker of a smile playing on his lips because Magnus likes the way he looks, and Alec takes pride in his body, the work of an entire life, training to hone his skills. He doesn’t need to go hand to hand, because Alec can take his opponents out with his arrows alone.

Jace glances at him with a mock-offended frown, but the blond’s eyes sparkle with pride at the acknowledgment of his parabatai’s strength. Alec shrugs, adjusting his quiver on his shoulder and elbowing Jace. Their bond hums playfully as they get moving.

“Maybe you need to train more,” Isabelle whispers to Jace, teasing.

Clary looks at them like they’ve lost it. She wouldn’t understand, Alec imagines. Soon enough, she will be familiar with shadowhunters’ customs and read their bodies with new eyes. Hers speak of a sheltered childhood, and except for the stain of paint, nothing lingers on her skin. She’s a novice, and it shows in the way her shoulders drop when she sits, too. She has never been on guard, doesn’t need to stay alert.

Alec shrugs and pushes the unexpected compliment to the back of his mind as they get on with the summoning. He can’t wait to go back to the Institute and finally shed his clothes. It feels like he has been on patrol for the entire day.

Three. Training room Alec skirts the punching bag, the light of stained-glass windows fanning in red and purple over his naked back. The floor is comfortably cool beneath his feet and the impact of his knuckles against the bag grounds him. Alec punches once, then twice and thrice and exhales loudly as the clatter of heels echoes behind him.

Alec stills, surprised, as most shadowhunters walk barefoot, and he watches from the corner of his eye as Magnus comes round to face him.

The shadowhunter grabs the bag to stop its momentum, the leather slightly warm against his palm. He glances at Magnus with interest, at loss of what to think with the heavy ornaments the warlock chose to adorn his outfit with that day. There is barely any skin to see this time, and Alec tilts his head to the side. Maybe there is something to gather from Magnus’ clothes. Isabelle would know, he imagines, but this is a foreign language to Alec.

Magnus has zoned out, staring at Alec’s groin, and the shadowhunter frowns, confused. What is the warlock looking at? The parabatai rune maybe? Alec looks down at his chest, then his length, flaccid between his legs, and Magnus finally averts his eyes when Alec makes no move to hide himself. Alec even preens a little to show off the curves of his muscular frame, and Magnus gapes, shaking his head before speaking.

“I had forgotten about the customs of the Nephilim. Should I have undressed at the entrance?” Magnus asks with a wry smile.

“We do not impose our customs on our guests, but they like to deny us of our comfort,” Alec replies evenly.

Magnus’ eyebrows arch up, but he doesn’t comment, and neither does Alec. Clary has yet to adopt their customs, but she has taken to wearing sports bras like the one she allowed Isabelle to wear when they planned to meet up with Magnus, Alec muses as he moves to grab a towel. He wipes sweat off his chest and arms, glancing at the file in the warlock’s hands.

“I have the preliminary autopsy findings,” Magnus explains.

Alec accepts the file, but doesn’t look at it, admiring the colorful dance of the light pouring from the stained-glass windows and onto Magnus’ face instead. Magnus belongs there, Alec can’t help but think as he takes in the sepia of the warlock’s skin, and the royal blue of Magnus’ outfit, that aged like fine wine and shines gently centuries later.

It’s a beautiful contrast, and for a moment, Alec understands the appeal of such clothing. Then, Magnus shifts and the light falls to the floor between them. Alec throws the towel over his shoulder and finally glances at the file he dismissed a moment ago.

“Should I walk you out?” he offers.

“No, thank you. I should be alright,” the warlock gestures at Alec to get going.

Alec can feel Magnus’ gaze on his back as he leaves the warlock alone and walks out of the training room.

Four. Master bedroom For the importance mundanes and some downworlders put on clothes — and especially when to take them off or with whom — Alec finds it increasingly peculiar that Magnus and him keep them on in the warlock’s loft. It’s warm there, and most of the surfaces available are comfortable to lie on.

Alec particularly likes the couch near the window, and curls up there most of the time to catch up on paperwork. He can’t stop fussing today though, and keeps moving around instead of settling in. Alec would enjoy the comfort of the loft a lot more without clothes on.

He doesn’t mind per se. Alec understands that there is a time and a place to go around naked. This was the very reason for his annoyance when Clary insisted they get dressed in her presence at the Institute, Alec’s very home. Alec simply did not expect Magnus’ loft to be one of these places.

“Something’s bothering you, darling?” Magnus calls from the apothecary.

“Why do you love clothes so much?” Alec blurts out without thinking.

Magnus stills in the doorway and peers at him. Across the living room, it feels like the gap between them is too wide, and that Alec can never understand Magnus. He tries though, and stands up to cross the room, stopping a breath short of Magnus.

“Why do you hate clothes so much?” Magnus replies, with a teasing glint in his eyes.

“They’re impractical and because of their clothes I can’t tell someone’s social status and battle experience just from looking at them,” Alec explains without thinking.

“To you, maybe,” the warlock nods, “but I love my clothes, I choose them with care. They show a part of me that I cherish, and nobody can ignore these statements I make. Yeah, sometimes I use my clothes to conceal how I feel or what I am truly capable of, but would you know how strong of an opponent I am just from looking at me anyway?”

“Magic is different,” the shadowhunter concedes, “how… do you feel good when wearing clothes?”

Alec fiddles with the collar of Magnus’ shirt, curious, but rubbing the fabric between his thumb and forefinger doesn’t bring any answer. Magnus smiles instead, and takes Alec’s hand to lead the way into the master bedroom.

The warlock opens a drawer in his wardrobe there and pulls out a jet black garter belt. It comes with a set of matching suspenders, and a complementary bra, made only of straps to wrap around the chest. Magnus offers them to Alec with an encouraging smile.

“What I like about my clothes is how smooth they feel, and how they enhance my features.”

The shadowhunter nods slowly and takes the jet black set of satin straps. The fabric is soft and flows in his hands like ink, barely there. At Magnus’ instruction, Alec strips and slips on the garter belt first, adjusting it on his waist, and then the bra. The straps crisscross across his chest like a harness and the sharp pattern of geometric shapes reminds Alec of his rigorous nature.

He likes the way the garter wraps around his legs like thigh holsters, too. It follows the lines of his muscular frame in beautiful curves and Alec smiles a little as he realizes he can barely feel the lingerie on his skin.

“I think I understand now.”

+ one. Apothecary Alec fiddles with a letter opener in Magnus’ apothecary while his boyfriend entertains Clary’s curiosity about the potion he’s making. Magnus is patient, and Alec can appreciate how attentive Clary is. She listens intently and hands Magnus whatever ingredient he asks for, squinting to read the tiny scrawl on the various jars around them. Alec has long given up on deciphering his boyfriend’s handwriting (or so he told Magnus) and relies on a series of tips and tricks to read the most important words, while the warlock does his best to write in a more modern script for Alec’s benefit.

Isabelle hasn’t, and she browses through a handwritten grimoire left open on the cluttered desk, her tongue poking between her lips as she reads. She pushes a misplaced quill out of the way to flip the page, and a picture flutters out. It falls on the floor and Jace bends to pick it up, a smile lighting his face at the sight of the photograph. Isabelle peers over his shoulder, a curtain of dark hair hiding the picture from view. She grins as well, glancing at Alec to wink.

“Damn Alec!” Isabelle whistles approvingly, “Did you really need to wear heels too? You’re already so tall!”

Alec rolls his eyes and ignores his parabatai humming in agreement. He strides forward to grab the picture and have a look as well. Alec is pleasantly reminded of the photo shoot that took place in Magnus’ bedroom when he tried on the garter set and strap bra.

Black satin wrapped around him aesthetically, with matching heels. It was a beautiful pair of heels too, that tied around his calves with black satin ribbons, enhancing the curve of his muscles in all the right places. Alec smiles at the reminder, and moves closer to Magnus, showing him the picture too.

“I don’t want to see that!” Clary shrieks, hiding her eyes.

Magnus chuckles and takes the picture, pressing it against his chest with a dramatic sigh.

“An early birthday present from me to me!”

[lovemalecforever]

Chapter 14

Parabatai : Wherever we are, we are as one.

After everyone congratulated Luke and Maryse for their engagement, they all seated themselves at the dining table, eating dinner and talking about their marriage when the old couple hushed everyone to not rush it and make it grand as they wanted it to be simple, with taking their time, much to everyone's disappointment, especially Izzy. But everyone understood their point and decided that whatever they wanted everyone was with them. The dinner went great and everyone settled back in with their own work.

_________________________

Alec was settled in his old room, the room in which he literally grew up, and Izzy had kept it the way he liked, which he was thankful for, as this room has its own set of memories, either good or bad, everything, every object had a memory of its own stuck in his mind, and he never wanted them gone.

Izzy was there in his room too, waiting for Jace and Clary to arrive, as he wanted their presence there when he talked to them because he knew that talking to them was not going to be easy, and he needed support.

"Calm down big brother, it's going to be fine." She said softly, concerned for her brother.

Alec sighed. "I don't know, Izzy."

Not long after, there was a knock on the door making him frown. 'Definitely Clary.' he thought And answered it by yelling out a loud 'Come in'.

"Hey Alec! You wanted to talk to us." Clary said while walking in, Jace tugging behind her, much to his dismay.

"Are you finally telling us what's going on?" Jace snapped, irritated.

Alec sighed and looked at both of them. "Yes, and don't ask questions or interrupt me in between, let me say what I have to say first, then only you both can say your part. Agreed?"

Jace and Clary looked at each other, then said 'okay' in unison.

Alec took a deep breath then told them everything, from being in his coma to Magnus' emotional health state, the ups and downs they faced in that one month, Magnus' breakdowns, his nightmares to their failed talks, then he himself finding of a rare immortality spell and his wish to become one, following the procedure of becoming immortal then what part they play in it. Everything. When he was done, he looked at them both having unreadable expressions on their faces.

The room was dead silent, no one was saying anything. It was getting really uncomfortable for everyone, until Clary walked towards Alec and bent down on her knees, looking directly into his eyes and only then did he notice tears in her eyes.

"I can't believe Alec, Magnus is so much in pain, and he's trying to hide it. It's really not fair on him. He's the best person I've ever known, I've ever come across. He doesn't deserve it. If that's the only option left, then I'm more than willing to help."

"A... Are, are you okay with it, Clary? Me becoming immortal?"

"Yes, Alec." She said softly.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Jace yelled on top of his lungs, giving a jump scare to others present in the room.

"That's what I was scared of!" Alec mumbled under his breath and rubbed his temples.

"Jace!?" Clary exclaimed.

"What the hell Jace!? Don't you get it?" Izzy said, clearly frustrated with his response.

"No, I don't! And I don't want to. Alec Lightwood, you are not becoming an immortal, if something's wrong with your husband, talk him out of it. I'm sure it'll work out, but you are not doing anything like that. End of conversation!" He shouted.

Izzy and Clary exchanged a look then looked at Alec, who was completely quiet.

"What is wrong with you, Jace? He just said that he tried, and it failed and there's no other option left." Clary yelled at her boyfriend, trying to put some sense into him.

"And that's his decision to make Jace, not yours. I was shocked at first too, but this is what he wants I'm there for him no matter what, you should be too." Izzy said, her tone flat and stern.

"Oh really, I'm sorry to burst both of your bubbles, but it is. I'm his Parabatai. He's not just deciding for himself. Alec, you put it in your thick brain, you are NOT doing this stupidity. At. All." He yelled.

"JACE!?" Clary snapped.

Izzy looked at him with anger and frustration. "Really Jace? Why are you being so difficult? Why can't you see that it'll make both of them happy?"

"I'm being difficult." He chuckled frustratingly. "You both don't get it, do you? Oh, let me guess because you aren't Parabatai, you can't understand it. Alexander Gideon Lightwood Bane, I have made myself clear to you, you're not doing this to us. End. Of. Conversation." With that he stormed out of the room, leaving both the girls fuming at him.

"What the hell!?" Izzy shouted.

"What is wrong with him?" Clary said in frustration.

"Enough!" Alec yelled, unable to bear the tension present in that room anymore. Both girls looked at him with sympathetic eyes knowing Jace reacting like that had definitely affected him.

"Alec, I... I'll try to talk to him," Clary said, but before she could leave, Alec stopped her.

"No, wait. I'm going to talk to him, alone. And I'm sorry, but he's right. It is about our Parabatai bond. It is about us." Alec sighed heavily.

Both girls looked at him with dumbfounded expressions then at each other and nodded, and he left to search for Jace.

After searching the whole institute he finally found him in the training room, striking the dummies furiously with his seraph dagger.

"Jace, can we talk?" He asked carefully.

"There's nothing to talk about, Alec. You're not doing that stupidity. End of conversation." He said furiously, then threw his dagger on the floor, and left the room completely ignoring him.

"Jace!?" Alec yelled but to no avail, then rubbed the bridge of his nose.

He then walked towards Jace's bedroom, knowing that he would have gone there, and he was right. He walked in, closed the door, and put a locking rune on it so that he can't leave again.

"What the hell, Alec?" He shouted.

"What's going on with you, Jace? I can feel a weird kind of turmoil happening inside you. Talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about, alright. You're not becoming immortal. That's it. We're done talking."

Jace was about to walk past him when Alec stopped him by gripping his hand tightly and shoving him to his bed, resulting in a loud thud.

"Ow! Alec!" He yelled.

"Talk!" Alec said sternly.

Jace sat on the bed properly, rubbed his face, and sighed heavily. "What do want me to say, huh? Yes, I'm not fine with you becoming immortal, whatever be the reason."

"It's Magnus, Jace. And what do you think, I didn't try talking to him? I did and it didn't work. Do you think I would have ever agreed on doing this, if anything, anything had worked? He's getting worse day by day, Jace. He thinks I'm not able to see it, but I can, and it's killing me too. I'm not going to sit down and watch him get insane when I know this will solve it. That's the only option I'm left with." He said in one breath and almost a yell.

"What about us, Alec? Do you know how it will affect our Parabatai bond? Watching you live lively, young, feeling your lively emotions while I keep growing, aging. You're my brother, my Parabatai, we're supposed to die together, Alec." He said harshly, but a pool of tears was visible in his eyes.

"Then it should concern me and not you, Jace. I don't know how it'll affect our bond, but it's me who will have to watch you die, losing a part of me, you think it's easy. It's not, Jace. But it's Magnus, I love him, he's my world, I can't live without him. And it's killing me seeing him like that every passing second, his smile, it's gone. I can clearly see the pain behind his smile. I want him back, the Magnus I know, I want that Magnus back. And if it costs my mortality, then I'm ready to sacrifice it." He was out of breath when he was done, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

Jace was already crying silently. His emotions and the words Alec had spoken were creating a whirlwind of emotions inside him. He was happy for his brother, for Magnus who got lucky to have his brother in his life, but at the same time, he was feeling betrayed that his Parabatai had decided something this big, without even talking to him about it. And also envious of the love these two have for each other.

"Jace, I can feel it, you know that, right?"

Jace looked up at his Parabatai, his eyes were red from crying. "So what, Alec? You decided something this big on your own and didn't say a word to us. Have you ever thought about any of us?"

"That's because I wasn't sure of it myself, Jace!" He yelled, he hated fighting with his Parabatai, but sometimes he gets really difficult to handle. "I didn't want to stress you all when I wasn't sure that I'll do it, but now I am. That's why I'm here, to talk to you all about it. And yes, I thought about all of you, then Magnus. Magnus is my family now too, Jace. As much as it pains, I'm willing to do it, for him, for his happiness."

Jace shook his head at him. "My Parabatai is really stubborn for his own good." He tried to smile, but it failed to reach his red cried-out eyes.

Alec sighed nervously. "Jace, please understand. I know things will change between us, but just put yourself and Clary in our situation. What if it were you both instead of us, what would have you done, Jace? Please think and answer."

The room was filled with dead silence, Jace was still sitting on his bed, head in his palms, while Alec was scared, his heart beating faster than normal, hoping his Parabatai would understand his situation, Magnus' situation. After what felt like forever for Alec, Jace finally spoke.

"I would have done the same. I had lost Clary, not to death, but I did lose her many times, even once I thought that she was actually dead, but she wasn't. I get what he's going through. We all had almost lost you in that battle." he took a deep breath and continued. "I'm sorry for yelling and being a pain, I get it, Magnus needs it. He needs you, by his side, in his case, forever. I'm sorry, buddy. I couldn't understand before, but I do now. I don't know how it'll affect our Parabatai bond, but if this is what's needed to be done, then I'm with you, it's just that...-"

Alec sighed with relief, but he knew and could feel through their bond that Jace needs him right now. He walked towards him, put his hands on his shoulders, and squeezed them gently.

"Jace!" He said softly. Jace looked up at him then stood up and hugged his brother tightly. Both knew how much they meant to each other.

Alec broke their hug but held his right wrist with his right hand. Jace looked him in the eyes, tears forming in the back of his eyes once again, he did the same.

"Entreat me not to leave thee." Alec began knowing his decision to become immortal will definitely affect their bond.

"Or return from following after thee." Jace followed, choking on each word he spoke.

"For whither thou goest, I will go." He tried to hold back his tears.

"And where thou lodgest, I will lodge." They both chuckled at this.

"Thy people shall be my people, and thy god my god." One tear escaped from Alec's eyes and fell on his cheeks.

"Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried," Jace said, each word trembling on his lips, knowing that this part is already broken.

"The angel do so to me, and more also." Alec couldn't hold back his tears from falling anymore.

"If aught but death part thee and me." They completed the oath in unison, both of their eyes red from crying.

"Jace, no matter what happens, you're my Parabatai, my brother, and it will never change, immortal or not."

Jace nodded and hugged him once again.

"So, are we okay now? You're okay with it, right?"

This time, Jace chuckled a genuine happy chuckle. "Yes, buddy we are and I am. Don't worry. Now, let's go and find the girls shall we?"

Alec agreed and unlocked the door with an opening rune, and they left the room to find the new pair of soon-to-be Parabatai.

[silver-lily-louise]

The Finer Things In Life

Summary: Magnus comes back into view, hand-to-hand with the last Circle member as he conserves what’s left of his magic after a gruelling battle. Magnus clearly has the upper hand, his centuries of combat experience making itself known – The Circle member loses their footing, stumbling into Magnus and knocking him overboard. (In which Magnus is forced to face an old fear, and Alec's a supportive husband.)

Read it on AO3, or below!

~oOo~

Maybe we should start asking them to come to us, Alec thinks irritably, even as his arrows strike home in the hearts of three more demons. Across the deck, there’s a high-pitched explosion as Magnus dispatches two Shadowhunters – Circle members, who’ve crawled out of the woodwork yet again, still loyal to the cause even after their network’s been all but eradicated.

The boat rocks slightly, the docks tilting in and out of Alec’s peripheral vision on his right; his core flexes, keeping him steady enough to send the next arrow through the skull of one of Jace’s assailants. He’s not complaining about being roped into this – he’d much rather that than have one of his siblings come home hurt, or worse – but lately it feels like every time he and Magnus are back in New York for a visit, there’s some emergency. Usually, one big enough that Isabelle has to leave the Institute and head up her own team, rather than managing remotely through Ops as she does day-to-day. And when things are that serious, of course the two of them are going to help out. 

The sounds of fighting are beginning to die down, now; on their boat, and echoing across from the three others nearby. It was a well-coordinated attack, Isabelle’s tactical mastery coming into play, and the Circle members – as well as the hordes of demons they’d been summoning – are dropping like flies, unprepared for the onslaught of what is pretty much the entire New York Institute.

But they’re not out of the woods just yet; a fact Alec is immediately reminded of as Magnus comes back into view on his left, hand-to-hand with the last Circle member as he conserves what’s left of his magic after a gruelling battle. Magnus clearly has the upper hand, his centuries of combat experience making itself known – so Alec aims his bow towards the last few demons instead, content to simply keep an eye on Magnus in case the tables turn and he could use an assist.

Which is how he witnesses the Circle member losing their footing, stumbling into Magnus and knocking him overboard.

Alec’s stomach drops. ‘Magnus!’ he yells, running for the edge, leaping over the Circle member’s prone form even as one of Clary’s throwing daggers sinks into their neck. He leans over the railing, scanning the water – and there’s a moment of relief as his gaze quickly finds Magnus, upright and moving. But it’s short-lived, because Magnus isn’t just moving – he’s desperately striking out, his arms almost a blur, his head occasionally dipping beneath the surface.

He can’t get out. The realisation seems to punch Alec in the gut. The docks are too high to climb, he was low on magic, he can’t get out - ‘Izzy, pull us up!’ he hollers – and he doesn’t wait for a reply before he holsters his weapons and jumps.

Alec hits the water feet first, arms crossed over his chest, and the impact somehow knocks the air from his lungs. He scrambles upwards, gasping for breath as he breaches the surface, eyes immediately finding his husband again. ‘Magnus!’ He strikes out towards him, calling his name over and over but not getting any response.

Several painful, eternal seconds later, he’s close enough to reach out, treading water as he tries to avoid Magnus’ flailing attempts to keep himself afloat. ‘Magnus- Magnus!’ Alec manages to grab his husband’s wrist, giving himself a window of opportunity to close the last of the distance between them and take a still-struggling Magnus firmly in his arms. ‘Magnus, honey, you gotta calm down, okay? I got you. I got you, it’s okay.’

Magnus finally stills, his arms latching around Alec’s neck in a death grip, his breaths heavy and irregular against Alec’s throat. ‘Alright, you with me?’ Alec asks, and he feels a nod against the crook of his neck. ‘Okay. I’m gonna take us back to the boat.’ His right arm leaves Magnus’ waist as he begins propelling them back towards safety, and Magnus’ hold on him gets impossibly tighter. Alec leans back, kicking more strongly now.

He glances over his shoulder, changing trajectory a little as he sees the glint of silver, reaching out towards it the second he can. He wraps the end of the whip around his hand a few times and clutches it, before giving a couple of sharp tugs. ‘Alright, going up,’ he murmurs. ‘Just hold on. I got you.’ The whip digs into his palm as they’re pulled up, his shoulder aching in protest. He ignores it all and just holds on for dear life.

And then there are hands on him, Izzy and Jace and Clary grabbing ahold and heaving the pair of them back up onto the deck – and then he’s kneeling, Magnus still held tightly in his arms. ‘Magnus?’ Clary says, tentatively, keeping her distance. ‘You guys okay?’ Jace asks.

‘Yeah, we’re okay,’ Alec confirms, because he doesn’t think Magnus is up to talking just yet, still hiding his face in Alec’s shoulder. ‘We’re okay,’ he repeats, dropping his voice again so it’s just for Magnus’ ears. ‘It’s okay, honey, I got you -’ He knows he’s repeating himself, knows some of what he says is meaningless. But he keeps it up, his idle, anxious comfort, a quiet voice to reassure while Magnus gradually loosens his grip and gets his bearings.

It’s not long before Magnus is pulling away, taking a deep breath, glamored eyes flicking between Alec and the others. ‘Alright,’ he says softly, his mouth tugging up into a half-hearted reassurance of a smile. ‘Alright.’ He nods decisively, seemingly to himself, leaning on Alec a little as they get to their feet.

There’s the quiet buzz of approaching voices, the teams from the lower decks making their way to the top. Izzy throws Magnus a smile, wordlessly excusing herself to check in with them, and Jace swiftly follows. ‘Clary,’ Alec says, ‘can you get us out of here?’ Magnus is already tensing up a little, ready to put on a brave face in front of Izzy’s troops, and Alec would much rather just get him home before it becomes an issue. Clary nods. ‘Sure, yeah.’ She pulls out her stele, deftly tracing out the portal rune, and the golden gateway blinks into existence before them. ‘Thank you, Biscuit,’ Magnus says. Clary smiles, laying a hand on his arm. ‘We’ll see you again before you head back, right?’ ‘Of course,’ Magnus reassures her. Alec shoots her a grateful look, and then he and Magnus step through the portal together.

The docks dissolve around them, replaced by the white glow of their suite at the Baccarat. (Before they left Alicante, Alec had pointed out that he has a perfectly serviceable room still available at the Institute, but Magnus had insisted. Alexander, he’d said, amusement coloring his tone, I will convince you to enjoy the finer things in life if it’s the last thing I do.) Alec stifles a chuckle, because nothing says yeah, I belong in a premier suite at a five-star hotel like standing in the middle of one whilst covered in blood and ichor and silt.

He turns to face Magnus with a soft smile. ‘Shower, then food?’ he suggests. Magnus gives a deep sigh, nodding once. ‘Absolutely.’

***

An hour and a half later, they’re clean and dry, warm and well-fed. Alec’s iratze is holding strong, soothing the ache in his shoulder. He busies himself for a few minutes by tidying away the leftover cavatelli, and then wanders over to join Magnus on the couch, sinking down beside him with a groan. Magnus’ mouth quirks. ‘Quite a day, hm?’ Alec just hums in agreement.

They’re quiet for a while, comfortable in each other’s company, only the low strains of a waltz breaking the silence. Part of the melody falls in a tripped, steady pattern, and Alec taps it with his fingers, smiling when he realises why it seems so familiar. ‘Was this… written for a warlock, or something?’ Magnus frowns a little, looking at him curiously. ‘I have absolutely no idea. Why do you ask?’ Alec taps a little more insistently. ‘That rhythm – it’s a heartbeat, like yours. That… badum-ta. Badum-ta.’ It’s a rhythm that he knows as well as his own heart’s ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum at this point.

Magnus’ gaze meets his briefly, seeming to melt a little. ‘So it is. Perhaps I’ll look it up when we get home.’ He looks away again – but the spell of silence seems to be broken, and he sighs. ‘Alexander, I realised that I haven’t yet thanked you for today. For pulling me out of there.’ Alec just shakes his head. ‘You don’t need to thank me for that,’ he says softly. ‘I’ll always help you if I can.’ ‘And I appreciate that, I do. But you shouldn’t have had to today.’ Magnus’ jaw twitches in self-annoyance. ‘There was no danger. There was no reason for me to react the way I did,’ he chides.

Alec sits forward a little. ‘Hey,’ he says gently, waiting until Magnus meets his eyes again. ‘You know that’s not true. You told me what happened when you were a kid, and the effect it had on you.’ He reaches out, fingertips brushing against Magnus’ forearm. ‘Magnus, everyone’s afraid of something. Doesn’t change the fact that you’re the strongest person I know.’

There’s quiet again for a moment – and then Alec watches, relieved, as the last of his husband’s doubt and embarrassment fades, leaving only a fond smile. ‘When did you get so wise, Alexander?’ Magnus murmurs. Alec sits back again, letting out a deep, contented breath. ‘Learned from the best,’ he says.

Magnus takes his hand, claiming it as he leans back against Alec’s shoulder. ‘You know,’ he says airily, ‘I didn’t realise we were revisiting the pet names conversation.’ ‘What? Are we?’ Alec says, confused. ‘I assumed so. After all, earlier, when you dove in to get me? You called me honey. Twice.’ He glances back up at Alec, giving a small, mischievous grin.

Alec’s face contorts for a moment as he tries to find an appropriate response. ‘…I guess I did,’ he says finally, feeling a low blush spread across his face. He shrugs, deceptively casual. ‘Well, it’s accurate.’ Magnus’ teasing smile grows. ‘Oh?’ Alec knows what he’s expecting. Because you’re sweet. It’s true, of course; but what he actually says is, ‘Yeah, I mean – you came into my life one day and just …stuck. And before I even knew what was happening, you were everywhere.’

Magnus’ head snaps up, and he stares at Alec in incredulous offence. ‘That’s your reasoning?’ Alec tries to look as innocent as he can. ‘Of course,’ he says, before wrinkling his brow a little in apparent confusion. ‘Why, what did you think I was gonna say?’ Unfortunately, he can’t keep a straight face for long – he blames the wine they had with dinner – and of course, once he cracks, Magnus isn’t far behind. ‘Alright, I will admit,’ Magnus says grudgingly, ‘that your line of reasoning is slightly adorable.’ Alec smiles in triumph. ‘And by the way,’ he says – more softly, now – ‘I’m really glad you did. Stick around, I mean.’

Magnus returns his smile – and then sighs, resettling against him. ‘You do realise,’ he says, slyly, ‘that if you’re now calling me ‘honey’, that puts ‘pup’ back on the table.’ ‘Absolutely not,’ Alec declares.

The rest of the evening devolves into bickering and laughter and slow, sweet kisses, the music with a warlock’s heartbeat rippling around them. He loves Magnus more than anyone in the world, but he’s also pretty sure his husband was wrong yesterday. Alec definitely appreciates the finest things in his life.

[s-trawberryv-eins]

Lonely Hearts Club

NOT MY GIF

Summary: In retrospect, she should’ve figured it would end badly. It was fun at first, the flirting. Fruitless and innocent. Never taken too seriously, a line carefully toed. A sort of 'take each day as it comes’ arrangement. But eventually, as anyone could've predicted, she crossed the line and fell. Hard.

Warnings: Angst, alcohol, implications of smut

Please read here before reading

Stark! OC x Bucky Barnes

Word count: 1573

 AVENGERS COMPOUND

UPSTATE NEW YORK

In retrospect, she should’ve figured it would end badly. It was fun at first, the flirting. Fruitless and innocent. Never taken too seriously, a line carefully toed. A sort of 'take each day as it comes’ arrangement. But eventually, as anyone could've predicted, she crossed the line and fell. Hard. For Bucky Barnes, of all people.

Thor arrived home with tales of outer space, his travels with the Guardians of the Galaxy coming to a brief stop to visit his Midgardian friends. “Revels!” His booming voice all but shook the compound as he announced his need for a party. "We shall engage in revels this coming Friday!” Turning to face her with a happy grin on his face, Caroline took that as her cue to begin the planning.

“I see no reason to deny Thor of a party, so I'll be in my lab spending my inheritance if anybody needs me."

-

And engage in revels they did. It was obvious to anybody who entered the room that this party was that of a Stark. Lavish, few expenses spared. Caroline found it to be a welcome distraction from her current predicament; should she tell Barnes how she felt, or not? She was fairly certain that her feelings were reciprocated, but it wasn't impossible that she had misread him.

Dressed to the nines in a nude top and midi skirt, she raked her fingers through her newly straightened hair and greeted her guests. Thor, Steve, and Bucky stood on the balcony, watching the large crowd forming in the vast open space. Decorated with black and gold balloons, music pumping through the air, and a seemingly never-ending supply of alcohol.

“Hello, gentlemen. Impressed?” Red lips curling up into a smile, she graciously accepted a glass of champagne from one of the waiters making rounds of the event. Coming to stand between Thor and Mr America himself, she offered her glass up to cheers. The four glasses met with a ‘clink’, and Caroline’s smile grew. Any effort to keep herself from making direct eye contact with the super soldier went out of the window when he spoke up.

“You've out done yourself. It looks wonderful. As do you, Caroline." The light pink dusting that appeared on her cheeks pulled a smirk from Barnes, but it disappeared as Thor placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles, also commenting on her work.

“Your father would be proud. And you do look ravishing, Miss Stark.” Pursing her lips slightly to hold back a giggle, she thanked the three avengers and made her way down the stairs.

“You need to make your move, pal. A girl like that's gotta have ‘em all after her.” Steve jabbed his friend with his elbow, as the three pairs of eyes followed the Stark girl down the stairs.

"It’s all a mess in my head. Can’t do it, Steve.” Bucky sighed, pushing himself away from the balcony and heading down to the bar. Neither Barnes nor Stark tried to mask their feelings for one another, and their flirtatious nature was obvious to everybody they lived with. It was hard for them to watch. Steve had noticed days ago the way Caroline’s face dropped when Barnes left her hanging, the way her gazed lingered. The evidence that this ran deeper than flirty banter right in front of him.

-

As the party drew to a close, Caroline took in the sight before her. Balloons and streamers littered the floor, glasses and bottles on every available surface. Having abandoned her heels long ago, the drunk doctor ran off in search of the object of her affection. But he was nowhere to be found.

“He’s left already, Care.” Steve’s voice was soft, sympathy drowning his blue eyes. Disappointment graced her features for a second before deciding she'd go to his room. “Care, don’t. He’s not alone.”

She was a strong girl, being an avenger required physical strength, but no training could have prepared her for the sudden weight that was her heart. It plummeted to her feet, cracking as it hit the concrete beneath her toes.

“Oh,” she tried and failed catastrophically to cover up how she felt. "Can you please tell Natasha and Wanda that I've gone to bed? And inform the staff that they're to expect a tip first thing tomorrow. Goodnight, Steve.” Turning on her heel, she tried towards the door but stumbled as a hand closed around her wrist.

“He’s a fool, Caroline. I’m sorry.“ With teary eyes and half a smile, she excused herself.

-

Tinkering away at her latest creation, Caroline was in a world of her own. Not noticing the presence of a visitor, she kept at it.

“What’s that?" The question startled her, and she jumped away from her project as if caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“It’s, uh,” composing herself, she gestured to the tech in front of her “it’s from Shuri. She’s been working on a new model for your arm and wanted suggestions.” The blush in her cheeks was evident, and he couldn’t help but stare. The spell was broken, however, when she cleared her throat slightly.

“Do you need something, Sergeant?” Taken aback by the sudden formalities, his brow drew together in confusion.

“I just came for a chat. You know, like usual?" His voice was soft, and his movements became shy and timid.

“I’m tired of usual, Bucky. I know you have feelings for me. I know that I’m not crazy. I can feel it, Buck." The scientist felt brave in the moment, but his reaction hit her right in the gut. He merely rolled his eyes and chuckled drily.

“Come off it, Caroline. You know we’re just messin’ about. I thought you knew that, anyway. Don’t, uh" tearing her eyes away from him, she felt the tears form as he spoke. "Don't read into it.”

“Is that a joke? Am I a joke to you? Why are you pretending that you don't know what I'm talking about, Bucky?"

“Listen, Care, I’m kinda seeing someone. I don't know if I gave you the wrong impression or what, but there's nothing between us. There never will be.”

He didn’t stick around for a response.

-

Having spent all night working from her laptop on a new comms system for the team, Caroline had nodded off on the sofa in the common room, laptop still placed firmly by her feet. Hearing quiet whispers and the shutting of a door, she was pulled from her dreamless sleep, and was listening nosily, trying to figure out who disturbed her.

“Sam, cut it. I’m not doing this again."

“Oh, shut up, dude. It’s obvious you have serious feelings for the girl. What is the issue?” Recognising the voices as Bucky and Sam, she froze. Not daring to move from the couch, she closed her eyes and prayed they didn't come any closer. This conversation was not meant for her, despite how much she wanted to hear the rest. The doctor had been hoping to avoid Barnes since their horrible confrontation in the lab.

“Shut up, you’ll wake her up.” Bucky’s voice was tired and irritated, obviously not in the mood for his friends’ antics. “So what if she has feelings for me? I don’t care.” Biting down hard on her bottom lip, Caroline wished to be anywhere else. "And I don’t actually feel anything for the girl. It's never gonna happen." Heavy footsteps indicated his departure, but Sam managed to have the last word.

“Bull. Shit. You’re scared, and you feel guilty because she’s Tony’s kid. Get outta here, man. Deserves better than your lousy ass anyway.” Earning a grunt and a half-slammed door in response, Sam only sighed. Confident that Bucky had left, Caroline made her presence known to Sam. Shock painted his features for a brief second, before sympathy settled on his face.

“I guess that’s that then.”

-

A month had passed since the Stark girl overheard the two boys in the kitchen. Contact had been brief between the scientist and the sergeant, a series off stiff hellos and tight-lipped smiles. Truthfully, she wasn’t entirely sure what’d happened. If Sam mentioned to Bucky that she was awake through their conversation, she didn’t know. Despite making her feelings towards him blatantly obvious, it seemed he’d never care whilst he held onto the guilt of his relationship with her father.

As if hearing his name in her thoughts, the super soldier waltzed into the common room, a smile on his face. "Everyone, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Caroline assumed it was a lie. She thought he was trying to save face, trying to knock her down when he said he’d been seeing somebody. But as the pretty blonde stepped out from behind him, she felt her heart fall once more.

“This is Izzie. My girlfriend.” Proud beaming smiles on both of their faces, whilst Caroline felt as though the air had been sucked out of the room entirely. The Avengers all jumped up, polite introductions and pleasantries were exchanged. Snapping back into the moment, Caroline forced herself up and out of her seat.

Her voice was sweet. Light and feminine. A brilliant actress, really. The crack in her voice almost impossible to detect. Unless you’re Natasha Romanoff, of course, who was waiting by the door for her friends impending departure.

“I’m Caroline. It’s really wonderful to meet you.”

[banesapothecary]

silver clouds with gray linings

***warning:  contains spoilers for 3x11***

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Alec can’t breathe, hasn’t been able to breathe since Iris’s portal closed, leaving Izzy and himself alone on the street. The portal folded in on itself and so had his lungs.

Magnus. It’s the only thing he can think. Magnus had been so insistent he help, and Alec hadn’t wanted to agree--hadn’t wanted to put him at risk like that, especially now--but after everything Magnus was going through, how could Alec ever deny him that? Alec knew how much Magnus needed to feel useful right now. He’d seen the look in Magnus’s eyes while Cat had healed him after his fight with the Owl, and the pang of sadness when Madzie had asked for a nightlight. Not to mention, the desperation after he’d trust out his hand to ward off Iris and protect Madzie, but no magic emerged from his fingertips.

Alec had let Magnus join them because he knew Magnus needed to feel useful, even if he couldn’t--wasn’t ready to--say it outloud. And in doing so, he’d put Magnus in danger.

Failed him. The thought is another arrow to his chest, an echo louder than the rush of the portal and blood in his ears.

They go back to the Institute because it’s the only thing they can do. They have no way of knowing where Iris had taken Magnus, not without Cat or another warlock to track him. With Cat and Madzie safely out of the country and Lorenzo Rey’s vendetta against his boyfriend, that wasn’t likely to happen.

And now Alec has no idea where Magnus is, if he’s okay, what Iris is doing to him in hopes of getting information.

If it wasn’t for me, Clary would still be alive, Jace had said before, and Alec understands now, feels that same guilt clawing into his throat and leaving him raw. He says as much to Izzy and feels the sadness in her gaze. The determination to fix it.

“I have a plan,” Izzy tells him. “We need to call Catarina.”

The thought of using Madzie as bait fills him with infinitely more dread. If anything happened to her or Magnus… “Izzy—”

“The Seelie,” she says. “He used the decoy, remember?”

Alec hasn’t even heard the rest of the plan, but he’s nodding. This could work.

***

Magnus is dragged through the portal and he feels the last remaining shreds of his dignity left behind on the street with Alexander and Isabelle.

He may not have his magic anymore, but Magnus isn’t a fool. He’d seen the gleam of surprised pleasure in Iris’s eyes when he tried to stop her at the loft to, unsurprisingly, no avail.

It’s okay, you’re safe now, Madzie, he’d told the little girl after Iris had portalled away. Magnus didn’t know at the time if he was trying to convince Madzie or himself. He still didn’t. He’d said the words as confidently as he could, but the weight of the truth sat heavily on his heart. He couldn’t protect Madzie, save throwing himself in the line of danger to prevent it from reaching her. Useless. The word pounds through him with every heartbeat.

Magnus had felt useless before. He’s lived for centuries, it would’ve been impossible not to feel useless, and it was a feeling Magnus hated. It was a feeling always reminded him of being a boy, of finding his mother’s body, of being swayed to do terrible things by his father simply because they shared a pair of eyes.

But never in his life has he felt more useless than he has since he returned from Edom. Seeing Alec with an arrow in his chest, unable to help and desperately hoping Catarina arrived in time. Hearing the rush of a portal, Madzie’s cry of “Nana!,” the thrust of his hand without the familiar rush of magic.

And now he’s in a cage, one that never would’ve been a problem if he still had his magic. If only Asmodeus could see him now, he thinks bitterly. Oh how his father would relish in his current circumstances, in the complete humiliation that he knows will burn in him until he takes his final breath. He realizes with a painful thud of his heart that he’s not quite sure when that will be. Is eternity still mine to bear? he wonders. If not, does he care?

“It’s sad,” Iris taunts, and the humiliation turns to rage.

“I told you,” he says, biting back the angry retort on his tongue. Right now his priority is making sure Madzie is safe, nothing else. At least he can do this. “I don’t know where Madzie is.”

When Iris goes after his memories, Magnus remembers who he is. Maybe he’s a fraction of the man he used to be without his magic, but he’s lived through so much, and at least he can slow her with the sheer amount of people and love and pain that’s always felt more like a burden until now.

She pulls out the spellbook, and all he can think is at least Madzie is safe. At least he’ll take Madzie’s whereabouts to his grave. Catarina will keep her safe, he knows, and he knows Alexander would do anything to protect her.

The fire message arrives suddenly, and Magnus is lost. The note is Cat’s handwriting, and he hopes it’s a trick. Logically he knows it is, knows Cat and Alec would never put Madzie in that danger, but his entire world has already been thrown upside down and every other direction imaginable. He doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t know what to do.

He wonders if he ever did.

***

“Hey!” Alec calls, firing his arrow as soon as Iris turns, pinning her to the wall.

“I hope you enjoyed your freedom,” Izzy is saying to her, but Alec isn’t listening. All he sees is Magnus.

Magnus, who is pulling himself off the ground, injured but still here. Still breathing, still one piece, still ready to lunge at Iris. He stumbles a bit as he stands, legs unsteady as he surges towards her.

Alec’s hand is around his waist before he gets too close or falls, and finally, finally, he can breathe again. Magnus’s eyes meet his and he stops trying to get closer to Iris, letting Alec support him. Alec can see the anger in his brown eyes, and something else, something between guilt and humiliation. Alec feels his own anger rising. If anyone should be feeling those things, it’s him, not Magnus. Never Magnus.

“I tried to stop her,” Magnus insists, his voice low and out of breath. “I tried.”

“It’s okay,” Alec says because it’s all he can. “It’s okay, we got her.” He meets Magnus’s eyes, tries to reassure him, tries to tell him how relieved he is right now, how proud he is of Magnus.

The desperation in his gaze doesn’t fade away into something else, though, and Alec knows Magnus doesn’t believe he’s anything else than a failure right now, which is the furthest thing from the truth.

He looks up and sees Izzy replacing her whip with handcuffs around Iris’s wrists, and knows now isn’t the time. There’s so much to do, between sending Iris back to the Gard and letting Catarina know it’s safe for her and Madzie to return. His gaze returns to Magnus, to the way he’s holding himself and he knows Cat needs to see him, too.

They’ll talk later, when the night has calmed down and everything’s taken care of and Alec can make sure Magnus understands that, magic or not, he will always be extraordinary.

[carmenlire]

Nevermind im sending a decent one lmao "Quick! Kiss me, I will explain later! Wha-"

Carla!! Thanks so much for this prompt!! I hope you like it :)

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Alec feels on top of the world.

Today is the happiest day of his life and he’s the luckiest goddamn man in the world.

He looks around in wonder and it almost feels too good to be true.

He’d think it a dream but he can feel the heavy weight of the ring on his left hand and knows that this is his life.

This is the rest of his life.

He’s leaning against the bar, waiting for his drink, and taking in the room from the sidelines. While today has been perfect and everything he could’ve hoped for, it’s a little overwhelming and he needs a minute or two to blend into the background, forget that he’s one of the stars of the show.

It has to be almost midnight. He’d married Magnus just after sunset, out in the open in a meadow. It was one of their favorite places in the world. When everything became too much, when the pressure of being such in such important positions in the shadow world was overwhelming, Magnus and Alec would take an afternoon and come to the meadow in the middle of that forest, somewhere in Romania. This evening there’d been fairy lights and acres of flowers and Alec’s heart had felt like it was trying to beat out of his chest as he’d taken in the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

A life without limits now, a life that could last an eternity.

There’d been tears and smiles and Alec doubts his heart will ever recover from the sheer love that’s radiating out from him.

He’d made it. He’s married to Magnus now, the light of his life, and he’s on cloud nine. He never wants to come down.

They’re at the reception now. Magnus had closed Pandemonium for the night, instead using it for their private party. While the wedding had been intimate– only their closest friends and family present to witness the vows– the reception was teeming with people.

While Alec would have liked nothing more than to head right to the honeymoon– Japan– or their loft or, fuck, around a convenient corner to celebrate, he still has responsibilities and politics to appease. The nuptials of the Power Couple of New York, a shadowhunter and downworlder, the Head of the New York Institute and the High Warlock of Brooklyn, demanded a lengthy guest list. They’d invited the entire Clave and the heads of every institute– most of whom had sent their regrets in a timely and brusque manner– as well as all of the downworlder leaders.

It didn’t help the overwhelming guest list that Magnus was popular and loved to throw a good party– especially when he had a reason to celebrate.

There was no higher occasion than his wedding.

Alec feels the clunk as glasses hit the granite counter and turns around, offering a nod in thanks to the bartender as he picks up his drink– a sex on the beach. Light, fruity, and sweet. Perfect for how he’s feeling.

As he turns back to the hubbub, he sees Izzy on the dancefloor with Max, doing an awful rendition of the robot. He sees Jace and Clary in the corner and averts his eyes as they lean into each other. Maia and Simon are eating cake at a table– blood infused available for the vampires– and Maia mock-glares as Simon swipes frosting against her cheek.

He sees Maryse and Luke on the edge of the dancefloor. Luke’s trying to get Maryse to dance with him and Alec watches as his mother throws her head back and laughs as she moves into Luke’s arms and they start to slow dance, hilariously off rhythm as the song currently playing is more suited to a rave than a waltz.

His eyes play over the room, through the pulsing lights, searching for his man.

His husband.

The dance floor is packed with people moving to the beat. Some are obviously drunk, having fun, and Alec smiles. The vibe for tonight is happy and celebratory and it’s great to see everyone having a good time– warlocks, vampires, werewolves, shadowhunters, all coming together under one roof to celebrate the love of a couple all respect and most like.

The Seelie Queen is holding court in the corner opposite him. She’d walked up to the two of them in the receiving line and wished them a long and happy time together. It had been somewhat of a surprise to hear the words come from her, genuine as she couldn’t lie. She’d pointed to the gift station and nodded towards an ornate box covered with vines and vibrant flowers, declaring that they’d enjoy her gift immensely.

Magnus and Alec had looked at each other before they’d both shrugged.

They’d deal with whatever it was, together.

Alec throws back the rest of his drink, feeling pleasantly buzzed. He has no intention of getting drunk, he doesn’t want to miss a moment– is trying to sear every second of this day on his memory– but he’s feeling good and this drink is goddamn delicious.

He’s about to turn around and order another, planning on taking it with him as he looks for his errant husband, when a hand wraps around his arm.

“Quick, kiss me! I’ll explain later–”

Alec’s smiling as he mutters, “Wha–”

Magnus’s lips meet his before he gets the word all the way out and then he’s not thinking at all.

His head is spinning and it’s such a cliché but he’s drunk on Magnus– his taste, that damned sandalwood cologne, the feeling of him pressing against Alec from chest to knee. Magnus brings his hand up and sifts his fingers through Alec’s hair and Alec melts into it.

The kiss spins out endlessly, moving from fervent and scorching to soft and lingering. When they finally pull away, Alec can’t even remember his own name, breathing harsh between the bass thumping through the club.

He keeps his eyes closed just a few seconds after the kiss ends, enjoying the feeling surging through him. He feels light and syrupy and content. He’s unbelievably happy.

He opens his eyes to see Magnus already looking at him, eyes unbearably soft, a little grin tilting his mouth up. His lips are red and swollen and Alec just wants to dive in for more.

He shakes his head a little to bring it back online, though, and clears his throat.

He widens his stance and wraps his arms around Magnus’s waist, pulling until Magnus is standing between his legs and they’re flush together.

He smiles and raises a brow. “I believe an explanation is in order?”

Magnus makes a play of looking demure, smiling like the cat that caught the canary, as he wraps his own arms around Alec’s neck, continuing to run his hand through Alec’s hair.

“Hi,” he says, breathlessly.

Alec can’t help the dopey smile that steals across his face. “Hi, husband,” he replies.

Magnus’s eyes shine even brighter as he leans into Alec, close enough so that his breath plays over Alec’s lips.

In the space between them, Magnus continues, mock severely.

“Mr. Lightwood-Bane, by my count it’d been at least seventeen minutes since we last kissed. I simply had to come over here and rectify the situation.”

Magnus nods, like he’s proud of himself, and Alec can’t help the laugh that spills out of him.

Alec nods back, serious, and says, “What a grievous error. I’ll have to pay more attention in the future.”

Magnus hums distractedly, eyes glued to Alec’s mouth and murmurs, “See that you do,” before he’s leaning in those last few inches and connecting their lips again.

In a contrast to the last kiss, this one moves from chaste and reverent to intense and filthy. Alec doesn’t care that there’s at least a few hundred witnesses, some just feet away. All he cares about is Magnus and making sure this kiss doesn’t end.

He doesn’t see the crowd that turns towards the newlyweds, some with raised brows but all with wide smiles. He doesn’t hear them cheer as the couple of the hour demonstrates the depth of their love.

He doesn’t see, but he feels the light blue sparks falling onto his cheek, a manifestation of just how happy Magnus is, that he’s letting his magic out of its usually ironclad control.

Alec starts grinning, breaking the intensity of the kiss and soon enough both of them are smiling too big to continue. Alec ducks down and kisses Magnus, once, twice, half a dozen times on the cheek, chin, nose, forehead. Little pecks that are light and happy.

Magnus opens his eyes before stepping back, holding out his arms to Alec.

He tilts his head towards the dance floor behind him and raises his brows in challenge, eyes glittering with warmth and joy.

“Care to join me for a dance, darling?”

Alec doesn’t hesitate as he takes Magnus’s hands and moves forward, guiding Magnus back.

“I’d be delighted, love,” he murmurs in Magnus’s ear.

He feels Magnus shiver and a second later they’re in the middle of the dance floor.

They dance the rest of the night away, going from grinding filthily to slow dancing and back again. Their rings glint in the pulsing light and they both feel the tension in the air, the weight of anticipation and love– they can’t wait to continue their celebration behind closed doors.

They dance with their friends and their loved ones, but never stray far away from each other.

There’s champagne and cake and everyone watches as Magnus and Alec have the time of their lives.

Everyone watches as the next chapter of a legendary love story starts before their eyes.

Magnus and Alec are oblivious to the stares, lost in each other.

The reception is remembered for decades to come. Everyone agrees that it’s the best party Magnus Lightwood-Bane ever planned.

[bytheangell]

My Priority

(Read on AO3) (A/N: The inspiration for this came from a discussion of how finding a kidnapped Magnus would be Alec's priority would make for a great parallel to Will's "She's my priority!" line about Tessa from TID. I wrote a little part of this on a Tumblr post, and decided to expand it into a longer ficlet!)

In the back of his mind Alec knew this moment was coming. He can’t keep sneaking behind the Clave’s back without getting caught, especially not with the amount of attention on him and the entire New York Institute after everything with Jace and Lilith and the Owl. Still, he thought he might have a little more time being able to utilize the spare Shadowhunters for a bit of recon, using the computers overnight because the resources here are beyond anything he’ll have access to on his own, even with the offer of Catarina and her contacts.

Because it’s been seven days since Magnus went missing. Seven days since Alec saw his face, or heard his voice, or so much as received a text message from him. The others volunteer to help him search when they’re off duty, Underhill practically lives on the network of surveillance cameras scanning the world over for any trace of the warlock, to no avail. If he just had a little more time…

Time, however, is not on Alec’s side. Now the Clave caught on and he’s been summoned into the main hall of the Institute for an official reprimanding. He knows what’s coming: a cease and desist. Will they kick him out of the Institute or just strip him of his title?  Will they lock him away despite their clear inability to keep prisoners where they belong?

He tells Jace and Izzy before he goes because he doesn’t know what’s going to happen and he needs them to be prepared for the very possible result that this is going to end poorly for him. Any ability he has to remain calm and diplomatic is gone; it left the moment Magnus was taken, and he was chained to this Angel-forsaken building chasing down convicts and cleaning up the Clave’s mess instead of searching for the man he loves.  

No more.

They understand - of course they do. They’ve seen him the past few days, barely holding it together enough to fill out paperwork without his hands shaking so much the words become illegible. They’ve watched him close the door to his office and suspected the reason why at the muffled sounds of a sob or two he couldn’t keep entirely contained no matter how hard he tries. He did he best to stand by his duty, by his people, but he’s breaking and something has to give.

That something might just be him.

He turns to go face his fate when he hears the sound of footsteps following behind him. The noise belongs to Jace, Izzy, and Clary too, who came in towards the end of his conversation with his siblings.

“What are you guys doing?” Alec asks, slowing to a stop.

“We’re coming with you.” Isabelle says simply.

“Don’t. I’ll take the fall; you were only doing it to help me, your names will never come up.” Alec shakes his head.

“They won’t have to. We helped you because we wanted to, and we’re going to stand by you now because we want to. We’re here for you, Alec.” Jace doesn’t even stop walking as he speaks.

“And we’re here for Magnus. He saved us so many times, and the least we can do is our best to return the favor.” Clary adds.

The emotion Alec feels is overwhelming. He might expect this from Izzy and Jace, but to have even Clary vow to stand behind him in this… it means a lot, even if it’s support he doesn’t want. He can’t have any of them put themselves in the line of fire for his sake.

Alec opens his mouth to protest but Izzy and Clary follow Jace’s lead, moving past where he stands, and it’s all he can do to turn and catch back up to them. His legs feel weak but he pushes forward with long strides to the front of the group. He knows it’ll be pointless to argue - they’re almost as stubborn as he is sometimes and he both loves and hates them for it.

They see Jia Penhallow standing at the head of the room, posture drawn tall and lips pursed in a look of disapproval. Alec wonders if they choose the Consul partly on a severity factor.  

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood, current Head of the New York Institute.”

Alec walks forward just a few steps in front of the others. “Consul Penhallow.”

“I didn’t realize we invited half the Institute to this meeting.” The Consul says, looking with disdain down at the three Shadowhunters standing around Alec.

None of them defend their presence, but they don’t make any move to leave either, making it very clear they have no intention of leaving Alec’s side. The silence falls heavy in the room.

“Very well. I’m sure there’s nothing we have to discuss that you haven’t already divulged to your friends , regardless of sensitivity.”

Alec fights the urge to roll his eyes, but just barely.

“It’s been brought to my attention that you’ve been conducting off-the-books missions to search for Magnus Bane.”

“He wasn’t-” Clary starts so speak, falling abruptly silent with a grunt when Jace elbows her in the side. Alec silently thanks him. They might stand behind him for support, but he can’t have them speaking for him. He has to answer for himself, as the Head of the Institute. Plus, Clary is hot-headed, and anything she says in a flare of anger would almost positively be used against him no matter how well she means.

“I’ve been looking for him while off-duty, yes.”

“But using Institute resources, that could be put to better use tracking the escaped prisoners. Using Shadowhunters who - while ‘ off duty ’, could be volunteering that time towards our own work instead.”

It isn’t a question, but she waits for his reply just the same. This is a dangerous game he’s playing - everything she says is true, but she’s spinning it to her advantage. What he, or anyone else, does in their off time shouldn’t matter. But to make it look like he’s pulling potential Institute resources?

“Anyone who assisted me did so at my request - at the insistence of a superior, and are not to be blamed for their actions.” He has to assume she knows everything, and that includes whoever has even so much as looked up a name for him in the past week. His thoughts go instinctively to Underhill, tapping into the surveillance systems, among a number of others. He can’t let anyone else get caught up in this with him.

“So you admit your actions are an abuse of power?”

Alec feels Jace take a step forward behind him, the tension almost palpable in the air around the four of them.

“No. As you stated, any efforts to track down the whereabouts of Mr. Bane were done off duty. No Shadowhunters were pulled from their assignments. No equipment was utilized that was already in use.” He holds his head high, gaze steady.

“Luckily for you.”

Alec wonders how someone can be so cold, so detached, in the face of someone simply looking for their loved one.

“All efforts are to stop, effective immediately.” She pauses, before adding, “That includes yourself, Mr. Lightwood. You have a duty to the Shadowhunters, not the Downworlders. Let his own people look for him.”

“You can’t tell me what I’m allowed do in my free time!” Alec cuts her off, voice rising and  knowing he’s playing into her hand, but he doesn’t care. Tears sting at his eyes, not of sadness, but of frustration.

He kneels in front of the consul now because he’s too tired to stand. Her words bring a feeling of defeat over him that he managed to keep at bay up until this moment. Now he’s used the last of his energy arguing his case, breaking down physically and emotionally day after day until it’s too much for his body to handle.

Alec is tired. Between running the Institute and looking for Magnus he can’t remember the last time he slept more than an hour or two, running on caffeine and the hope that today will be the day, and that he isn’t already too late. And now even that hope is being taken from him. He can’t do this anymore - he doesn’t have the strength left to keep fighting.

He feels a hand on his right shoulder, then his left, as his siblings reach out to not only comfort him but ground him as well. The Consul waits in measured silence until he’s regained his composure.

“I don’t think you fully understand your position - there is no ‘ off time ’ for you. Your allegiance is to this Institute. You will not get a second request, Lightwood. Stand down. One warlock - who isn’t even a warlock any more - cannot be our priority.”

Something snaps inside of him at the finality of those words.

“He’s my priority!” Alec states, voice raising with every syllable, eyes narrowing. He doesn’t realize that he’s pushing himself to his feet again, Izzy and Jace’s hands falling off of his shoulders in the process.

“Your people are here, which is where you belong.”

“My people are safe, for now. Magnus isn’t. I can do both: I can run the Institute and look for Magnus. But if you’re forcing me to pick one over the other then it isn’t even a choice. I guess you’ll get along just fine without me until I get back.”

“Don’t walk away from me, Mr. Lightwood.” But Alec doesn’t look back after turning away and stalking down the hall. “You’re going to regret this!”

Clary shakes her head. “No, he won’t. But I think you just might. You need him more than he’ll ever need you.”

“And you’ll be lucky to get him back after this,” Isabelle adds, turning to follow Alec’s lead with Jace and Clary close behind.

They’re going to get Magnus back, one way or another.

---

They walk in silence until they’re well clear of the Consul. Jace, Isabelle, and Clary can all see the way Alec’s shoulders rise and fall with sharp, deep breaths; they see his hands clench and release at his sides and wonder what he’s going to say when they reach his office and follow him inside without asking if he wants them there or not.

Clary closes the door behind her and the moment it clicks shut Alec collapses into his chair, head falling into his hands.

“I can’t believe I just did that,” he says, words muffled by his palms.

“It was amazing,” Clary reassures him. “And it’s what you needed to do. They can’t ask you to stop looking for Magnus - and you’ve been doing it without letting it interfere with Institute business. They had no right to tell you to stop.”

Clary says this with the sort of innocence that they see in her time and time again - she hasn’t grown up with the politics of being a Shadowhunter, with the expectations woven into every motivation they carry, every instinct they fall back on. Or, at least, they’re supposed to carry and fall back on.

“They had every right. And there’s no way they aren’t stripping me of my position no matter what I do now.” He hesitates, adding in a voice barely above a whisper, “...I wonder if this is grounds for deruning.”

“We won’t let it come to that,” Isabelle reassures him. None of them mention that's exactly what they said about Maryse, too. 

Alec sits in silence for a few more moments, processing everything that just happened, before he’s back on his feet. “I’m going to need you to keep things running smoothly here while I’m away.”

“Where are you going?” Jace asks.

“I don’t know yet. But it’s clear I can’t look for Magnus and continue my duties here, so… consider this an official temporary leave of absence.” He grabs a piece of paper and hastily scrawls a few sentences on it before sending the fire message off. “Jace, I imagine they’ll make you Acting Head while I’m gone. Try not to burn the place down.”

“What do you mean, while you’re gone? We’re coming with you.”

Alec shakes his head. “No. I need you all here, and you’ve done more than enough already. More than I had any right to ask of you. I’ve been in contact with a few warlocks that owed Magnus a favor or two - they offered to help me if I needed it. The rest of you are to follow Consul Penhallow’s orders effective immediately. Pass that along to everyone who was helping.”

There are a few moments of tense silence between them before Isabelle nods first, followed by Jace.

“Alright. Stay in touch, let us know the second you need or hear anything , got it?” Jace asks.

Alec nods. “I’m going to get out of here before she tries to stop me. If anyone asks-”

“You didn’t tell us where you were going. We don’t know anything.” Isabelle says without hesitation.

Alec allows the brief hint of a smile before he leaves, grabbing his bow and arrows off a stand next to the door on his way out.

Once they’re certain he’s gone Clary looks between the two remaining siblings.

“We’re not actually going to stop looking, right?” She asks, voice low.

They shake their heads in immediate unison.

“Not a chance.” Jace confirms. He knows Alec is going to kill him for this whenever he gets back, but he doesn’t care.  “We just have to be more careful about it. C’mon. We’ll call the others off, but after that we have work to do.”

[onceuponavideo]

Love knows no language

Read on ao3

If moving on with Magnus has taught Alec something, it was that Magnus ranted a lot in Bahasa Indonesia when he was angry, and the recent loss of his powers made him kind of irritable. He was so used to having his magic for everything that he easily forgot he couldn’t afford the luxury to just snap his fingers.

He has always utilized his magic for everything, for trivial things like opening doors or for more serious purposes, basically saving lives. But using magic was part of his job too. Now that he wasn’t the High Warlock anymore, he was finally free of obligations and had all the time he needed but he wasn’t able to receive any client. Because they didn’t need him, they needed his magic.

« I’m too powerful for anyone’s good.» Magnus had said once and it was true, but now he just felt so powerless. He hated that feeling, his father, himself, everything that happened recently. He felt mad at everyone but also so guilty because he'd become useless. That's why he couldn't be as patient and understanding anymore and a little upsetting thing was enough to make him lose his temper.

The first time Alec heard Magnus speaking in his native language, it was during his period of convalescence after his fight against the Owl. Magnus and him were sitting on the sofa, Alec was quietly reading some mission reports while Magnus was just looking at him, playing with his messy hair. Everything was just peaceful and they almost forgot all the troubles around them. Unfortunately, this precious moment didn't last. Magnus' phone started ringing. Magnus didn't look really happy when he saw who was calling him but he answered anyway.

“ Yes, hello ?” He said, standing up because he liked to walk when he was talking with someone on the phone. “ No, I'm not really available at the moment...”

Alec couldn't help but stop what he was doing, intrigued by the conversation. Was it a client ? It looked like it. Alec couldn't hear a lot but he understood that the client was being insistant and wanting to see a warlock. After saying for the third time it wasn't possible to take an appointment right now, Magnus was tired of being nice. As the conversation was getting longer, he felt more tense and upset. Enough with the politeness.

“And now ? Do you understand when I say that I can't or do I need to try in German ?” He said before hanging up brutally and he realized his hands were shaking. He needed to breathe.

Alec glanced at him, confused. That wasn't English, he was hundred percent sure about that. Magnus probably felt Alec's gaze and he looked toward his direction. In other circumstances, he would have translated the sentence he's used but now he was too mad to answer the question in Alec's eyes. So instead, he just dropped it and said « Nevermind.» before leaving the room.

And this situation happened again, like the time when Magnus broke a glass and tried to fix it, forgetting his magic wasn't here. Mad at himself, he spoke with words that Alec had never heard before. The language was hypnotizing and Magnus' voice beautified it more in a perfect way but Alec never had the time to ask for a translation because his boyfriend refused to stay with him, like he was ashamed. It was like talking in his native language made Magnus feel safe, kind of protected from Alec's judgement. Alec would never make fun of him and Magnus knew that perfectly but he couldn't help it. His own demons weren't going to leave him in peace and dealing with them was something he needed to do alone.

Well, not really, but that's what he thought at least.

Alec wasn't completely ignorant, he could see the love of his life was struggling. But how could he help when he was just hitting a wall every time he tried to offer his presence ? He wanted to understand, to be able to answer Magnus and reassure him. That whole situation was so frustrating.

One day, Alec had enough. Magnus didn't want to say what was on his mind ? Fine. He'd find it by himself.

Saying that he was really invested in his new mission was definitely a understatement. A new book was constantly on his desk and even if Alec didn't have a lot of breaks because there was always a Shadowhunter who needed to talk to him, he was spending all of his free time reading it. Izzy came to see him once and she raised an eyebrow when she saw his new activity. She didn't say anything, she just smiled and Alec blushed a little, pretending to ignore all the questions she was asking with her eyes only. His behavior made Izzy laugh and she just set aside the report she brought to him before leaving the room.

“ Have fun.” She teased and Alec rolled his eyes. She'd probably ask for details later so he better enjoy the calm before the storm.

*****

One day, Alec came home tired and irritated. He just had an interminable meeting with the representatives of the Downworld and Lorenzo was exhausting, always trying to take advantage of the situation, always twisting his sentences to change completely the meaning of the words he's used. In conclusion, this reunion was a nightmare and Alec was really happy when he could finally end the meeting and be free of that pretentious new High Warlock of Brooklyn. He just wanted to get some rest and get rid of a growing headache.

He heard Magnus talking in the living room and at first Alec thought he was on the phone with someone. He realized after a few seconds the warlock of his heart was just rambling for an unknown reason.

Alec sighed, not in the mood to be pushed away again. Nonetheless, he tried to show some support, as always.

“Hey babe, what's wrong ?”

Once again, Magnus pulled his wards up, avoiding the conversation and talking to a wall would have been more efficient.

“Nothing.”

Alec felt helpless. He wanted to be more insistent but he knew that Magnus would just avoid him again. Alec had no right to pressure his boyfriend and make him talk, he was very aware of that. Magnus always dealt with his emotions alone and it wasn't a bad thing, everyone had their own way of finding the light again. But this time was different and Magnus seemed to be lost in the darkness and couldn't remember the right path. In all their time together, that situation had only happened once, after that regrettable incident where Magnus got trapped in Valentine's body. The state of confusion and emotional pain he was could probably be compared to that situation. But he didn't ask for help because he didn't want to drown Alec with him in his dark thoughts.

To Alec, Magnus was a lot of things. A reason to smile, an anchor, a motivation to keep fighting, the love of his life... But Magnus will never be a burden. Never.

“Magnus... Talk to me, please...” Alec wanted to take Magnus' hand but his boyfriend stepped back.

“Leave me alone Alexander. ” Magnus was using his native language as an armor like he did these past few days. Once again, he tried to hide his emotions even thought he knew perfectly it wouldn't help him feel better.

“Please let me help you. Don't push me away. ”

Magnus suddenly froze and Alec didn't understand why. He took the Shadowhunter a minute to realize he answered in Bahasa Indonesia. The words rolled off his tongue and he didn't have any control. It just happened, without a logical explanation. Magnus was still staring at him and his unending silence worried Alec. Did he offend him ? Did he just insult him in his mother tongue without knowing it ? Was Magnus mad because he learnt that language behind his back ? All these questions were spiralling in his head and Alec was about to apologize when Magnus snapped out of his trance and answered, What did you just say ?

Alec opened his mouth to talk but Magnus interrupted him.

“ Forget it, I know what you said.”

With a new assertiveness, the former High Warlock of Brooklyn walked straight to his boyfriend, gently rested his hands on Alec's cheeks and gave him the most tender and loving kiss. Alec definitely wasn't expecting this and he needed a few seconds to figure out what was happening before kissing his soulmate back.

It was soft, peaceful, just a sweet moment which stopped time. Actually, not really, but it felt like it. Anything could have happened and they probably wouldn't notice it. The kiss ended slowly but this time, Magnus didn't try to put some distance between them. He stayed close, finally feeling appeased. What Alec did was genuinely kind and Magnus didn't fully realize that Alec really took the time to learn his native language. Of course his pronunciation wasn't perfect and he wasn't completely fluent but that didn't matter. The most important was he really cared that much about him and Magnus was so grateful for his boyfriend.

“ Aku cinta camu.” He whispered against Alec's lips and the latter couldn't contain his smile. “ You never cease to amaze me Alexander.”

Alec laughed a little and gently pressed his lips against Magnus' forehead.

“ I love you too.”

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, SIDNEY! You’ve been accepted for the role of IMOGEN. Admin Rosey: First and foremost let me just say that Imogen has been one of my favorite characters in any play ever. She is the epitome of virtue and whenever I think of Lady Justice, I think of Imogen. I truly didn’t think that others would be as taken with them as I was, but Sidney, I’m so, so very happy that you’ve become as infatuated with them as I have. What got me was the tally that you kept running between their head and their heart. It’s something that encapsulates their struggle in both Shakespeare’s plays and in Isabella as well. You know how to ruin us, so ruin us well with Imogen why don’t you?  Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

Out of Character

Alias | Sidney Age | 21 Preferred Pronouns | She/her Activity Level | I’m fairly active! I’m usually here when I’m not working or sleeping, and most likely mobile and available to plot. I get to replies within 1-3 days depending on muse and time management! On a numerical scale, I’d say I’m a 6-7/10. Timezone | EST Current/Past RP Accounts | My current DV account is here.

In Character

Character | Imogen / Isabella Gagliano (this would be my second character!)

Isabella ‘Izzy’ Beatriz Gagliano

ISABELLA - devoted to God; quite literal but not chosen for its meaning but because it was their grandmother’s name, something their father was adamant about his child bearing. To this day, they hate it on pure principle and prefer Izzy above all else. Bella, but only if you’re lucky.

BEATRIZ - happiness, bringer of joy; chosen by their mother especially for her baby girl, for her daughter’s face always brought out a smile in whoever held them. This is often the name they give out as their last and it is the name attached to all articles they’ve written for public consumption. They have identification to match as well; very few know their true surname and that’s the way they prefers it.

GAGLIANO - joyous, hard, brave; wholly not of their choosing and one they hated much throughout their youth as it followed them wherever they went, tragedy in tow. They shed it the moment they left Spain and never looked back. It belongs to their father and for all they care, he can fucking keep it.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character?

ONE: COMEUPPANCE

Undeniably, Izzy has a lot of rage. Granted, it lies in wait deep beneath the surface, often clouded by their ever changing emotions and the vast spectrum of creativity that encompasses their mind on any given day, but it’s there if you know where to look. If you cut deep enough, there’s no telling what they’ll do to retaliate. What I’d love to explore is their hunger for justice. How far are they willing to go to expose the truth? They want nothing more than to lay Verona’s sins before the people’s feet, for all the world to see. And while they think they’re doing all these things for the greater good, I’d love to push them into a much more morally grey territory. They’ve already dabbled in anarchy when they watched as Nikolai set the Northern Grove aflame. But do they know Puck seriously injured someone? And are they okay with that as long as it means justice will be served? I’m a sucker for negative development and I think Izzy is the perfect person to nudge closer and closer to the edge of their own haphazardly constructed set of rules in hopes they breaks them. They’re bound and determined to punish someone, but I don’t think they realize you cannot pick and choose the lives lost in times of war. And their reckless wrath is guaranteed to take down an innocent person or two much sooner rather than later.

TWO: INTELLECT

They’re so smart, well read, and kept up-to-date on all current events as they make it their business to be, but their heart — Izzy’s fickle, fickle heart — and the madness it contains is almost too strong for the sharpest of minds to compete with. It’s taken them a long while to learn how to balance that fire that resides deep within their chest, the flames licking along the edges of their heart against the natural intellect and heaps of knowledge embedded inside their mind. It’s a constant battle, from one moment to the next a fight between head and heart, and sometimes — a lot of the time, if they’re being truthful — their heart wins. They can’t help it; they feel so deeply. This was always something their mother encouraged, though. To not feel is to not live, she’d say but as Izzy aged, the more they were penalized for daring to do such a thing. The more tears they shed, the dirtier the looks were from their peers and the less they were listened to. But the farther Izzy is pushed, the more these horrible people get away with ruining an entire city, the more likely Izzy is to crumble and crack under pressure. The results of which could be catastrophic for not only her but everyone else. This is a daily struggle for Izzy, balancing decision making between what they feel is right and what they know is probable. As of late that intellect they’re so proud of has taken a bit of a back seat in favor of such strong emotions. I think it’s entirely possible that Izzy will make a very poor decision based on what their heart wants versus what they know is the right choice. And furthermore I want them to make that decision! Whether its furthering their trust in Nikolai even though they know they shouldn’t. There’s no going back once the deed is done; you can’t take back decisions of a vengeful heart, you can only move forward once they’re made. That’s the funny thing about love, especially when Izzy since loves so intensely. And they’re the type of person who will do anything their heart tells them to. Anything.

THREE: HUBRIS

Working with the likes of Puck and Nikolai, Izzy has gained a certain confidence. Everything has been going their way and they’ve gotten exactly what they wanted. But does Izzy truly even know what that is? I think whether the Montagues and Capulets live or die has become a second burner problem for them right now. The light of the sun is far too bright for them to make out anything other than the vengeance that has been so prevalent in their vision for so long. And the successful ruination at the Northern Grove has only made them more confident that what they’re doing, this mission they’re on, is exactly the right answer. I want to develop this further as Izzy will surely begin to dance with many a devil in the streets of Verona. The only way to win a war is to secure allied forces and then strike. But will they be foolish enough to trust the devil himself? I don’t know that Izzy will be able to see past a fatal deceit as they cascade closer and closer to the sun. If only they could just reach it. Touch it. It’d make everything better, wouldn’t it? If they can just get it, that holy grail, that one vital piece of information that could make the whole house of cards come crashing down, it’d all be worth it. Every sacrifice, every life lost. At least that’s what they tell themselves. But what of the hero who thinks themselves a god? It’s one thing to save people for the sake of saving them but it is an entirely different kind of monster to demand they revere you for your work. I’d love to put Izzy in a situation in which there’s the chance to put their name on one of the many good deeds they do! They’ve lived a life of modesty for so long, even going so far as to conceal their true surname, but how will they fair if they start to garner recognition? I can’t wait to find out.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes.

In Depth

In-Character Interview:

What is your favorite place in Verona?

She first thinks of To Tame A Soup and all the people it helps, all the mouths it feeds and the beds it offers to those in need of a warm night’s sleep. It brings a smile to her face, eyes lulling shut as she leans back in the couch. The question, on the lips of someone she doesn’t trust but is indebted to for exactly this purpose, begs to be answered. Truthfully. Thankfully the first lesson she’d learned when she’d arrived in Verona was how to lie, something every citizen needs to become proficient in if they intend to survive.

“The Library,” she lied with a smile and a slight cant of her head. “All those books,” she leans in close, eyes widening at the mention of literature, which wasn’t a falsehood by the slightest. It’s always better to tell an adjacent truth. The advice sings in her head like a sweet melody she’ll never forget. “I could spend hours in there,” she smiles, thinking back to the past five Sundays she has spent there. At least a dozen books all spread out across the table before her, laptop open as she typed furiously, looking from one text to the other every so often.

From a distance, she looked as inconspicuous as anyone. A student studying for an exam, that was her cover, and naturally, it worked. Her notes, however, would beg to differ, covering nothing from the books before her but instead noting every Montague who came and went.

“But I’m sure I’m not the only one who loves it there.”

What does your typical day look like?

“It depends if I’m on a deadline,” she clears her throat and adjusts in her seat, letting the deception fall off her shoulders as she rests back again. “If I am, I wake early and head out to find a quiet place to write,” her eyes wander over to her desk in the corner, papers littered about. “It’s hard for me to write here most times. There’s too much to distract me,” she lets out a small laugh, self-deprecating in its tone. “I have horrible impulse control.”

“I volunteer as much as I can throughout the week when I’m not working as well, but other than that…” arms now crossed, one hand drifts up and she begins to tap an index finger against her chin as she thinks back over the past week, “I like the theater…” she’s grasping at straws now, quite nervous to tell them she rather enjoys just sitting at home most nights.

“I’m relatively boring, I suppose.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

Falling in love.

Izzy doesn’t even have to think before the answer comes to her in a rushing tidal wave of bittersweet happiness, the image of Celeste peeking into her closed eyes. Now that is the truest answer of them all and it’s something she’d never want Celeste to know. Regret is never something Izzy wants to carry around, but at this point, the guise of calm, cool, and collected is bound to shatter. The thought breaks her heart in this moment, sitting before a stranger asking shallow questions one moment and asking Izzy to bear her soul the next. Tears sting in her eyes the moment she opens them, the dam that rests between her head and her heart threatening to break at any moment.

“I’m not sure…” she stutters, unable to form the right words — unable to come up with a suitable lie on the spot. She repeats the same gesture as before, one arm raising to rest beneath her chin as an index finger taps furiously against her chin. This time it rises and runs along her bottom lip. The truth is Izzy has never had to look this deep inside. She’s never been asked to critique her own character, nor should she. She is always justified in any of her actions and has to answer to no one.

“Next question,” she says firmly, digit rising a couple more inches to wipe away the one tear that broke through. It’s damp against the pad of her finger but she doesn’t linger and wipes it away on her knee.

Head: 1 Heart: 0

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

In an instant, she’s agitated. Frustrated beyond belief at the audacity of this person that she barely knows asking all these questions of which they have no right to the answer.She was doing them the favor after all, so how dare they?

“This,” she blurted, eyes rolling too fast for her to stop herself.

Head: 1 Heart: 1

Fuck.

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

The mere mention of them is enough to cause her to clench her fists where she sits. She clenches so tight a knuckle cracks and she plays it off by cracking a few more and forcing a complacent smile onto her features.

“Truthfully?” she asks as calmly as she can, but she can’t resist the offer to say her piece. If they really wanted to know, Izzy would tell them exactly what she thinks. “I think they’re going to rip this city a part.” Her statement is matter of fact, concluded with a nod and a stern look of intent at the asker. It’s a truth she believes deep in her bones, all the way into her core. “They will take what they want,” her teeth grind against the t, “kill who they want.” There’s a flash in her mind of her mother, knife slipping between her ribs as she cries out in pain. Izzy clenches her fists once more, pushing them to either side of her thighs against the couch. “They corrupt whoever they like and care not for who they hurt.”

And I’ll take down every last one of them.

She’s seething now, nails digging into her own palms to keep her from smashing them against something, like the face of the person before her.

“Is that enough?” she asks, again through gritted teeth, but she doesn’t wait for an answer and instead rises from her seat. “Great.” She snaps,  walking across the living room and opening the front door to her apartment.

“Leave.”

Head: 1 Heart: 2

Extras:

Pinterest Mockblog

HEADCANONS:

— ASTROLOGY: Born March 24th, Izzy is an Aries.       +Element: fire - quite emotional and compassionate to a fault, always giving far more than they receive if for no other reason than to remain loyal to those emotions.       + Ruler: mars - an animalistic nature, it calls to their impetuous tendencies, inciting rage and destruction at the drop of a hat.       + Color(s): red - vibrant and attention-seeking, it’s rare that they don it but are instead often drawn to its excitement and promise of adventure.

— STRENGTHS: audacious, determined, self-assured, ardent, creative, insightful, altruistic, honest.

— WEAKNESSES: impatient, sensitive, moody, short-tempered, perfectionistic, impulsive, contentious.

— MBTI: INFJ, the advocate - takes great happiness from helping people, spends the time to get to the root of issues and work through them, sees a world full of inequity but knows it doesn’t have to be that way, and truly believes a little help can go a long way, but sometimes they forget to care for themselves and overcorrect for certain causes which puts them in jeopardy, though they write it off as having been worth it all in the end if progress was made.

— ALIGNMENT: Lawful Neutral, the judge - their mother, the basis of their entire moral compass, taught them right from wrong and shaped their entire view of the world with just a few kind acts. Feeding the homeless was something they did every Sunday afternoon together, mother and daughter each with smiles upon their face, filled with joy at the simple act of helping. But it wasn’t until they watched the very woman who gave them life fight tooth and nail, time and time again for those less fortunate than them. Their mother would have offered a stranger on the street the clothes off her back and the shoes on her feet if she felt it would improve their life. She was generous and kind and expected nothing in return for all her good deeds. It taught Izzy how to love, this ever apparent generosity present throughout their youth, and as they aged, they did so with their whole heart. They dove head first into philanthropy the moment they left Spain, using their knack for words to shine a light on the injustices of the world in hopes of making a real change. And they have no intent on stopping within Verona. They’ll burn the whole city down if it means it’ll return, but this time just and pure of heart.

— GENDER/SEXUALITY: Izzy, while not a fan of labels at all and if forced, identifies as a demigirl and prefers she/her and they/them pronouns. Femininity has never been something they’ve felt terribly attached to, nor do they shy away from what society would deem as ‘for women’, but there’s always been a bit of a disconnect from it. It’s a sore subject if pressed, causing Izzy immense stress when brought up. Memories of their stepmother spewing hate for every little thing about them flood their mind and tears swell in their eyes from the echo of rejection for simply being themself. / They’d call themselves a lover of everyone, if they’re being honest. At least ten times a day they turn smitten in an instant! With just one glance from a handsome stockbroker who held the door for them at a cafe. A coy smile from a waitress at Hotel Emelia can send them into a giggling fit, cheeks flushing a rosy red. They’re a biromantic, through and through, enjoying — indulging in whoever’s holding their heart in their palm for the moment, regardless of their gender. But for them to give themselves to you, it needs to mean something. It has to matter. Izzy is smart; they know their heart is fickle, and while most days it rules their choices, those welcome in their bed must earn it first. Some would call them a slut, if they were lacking character and down to their two brain cells. Most call them a tease, leaving a trail of kisses in their indecisive wake. But Izzy knows themself to be demisexual, and in need of a strong emotional bond before spreading their legs.

— CELESTE: It defies logic, how much Izzy loves her. All normal, rational thought evades her whenever the girl is near. The fact that she remains, to this day, a part of one of the very organizations Izzy is bound and determined to take down seemingly makes no difference. Not when her heart practically sings in the face of Celeste Duval. It’s assuredly unnatural, of which the two have discussed at length. She’s married, after all and that fact seems to evade her lover’s mind as well. Perhaps that’s what makes it exciting, but it’s also what makes it that much more stressful. Izzy is in constant battle with herself when it comes to Celeste. It’s as if each time they’re apart, she formulates a plan to sever the bond for the good of the both of them, but the moment she lays eyes on Celeste, she can’t think. She can only feel. And what she feels is so much stronger than any argument her brain could muster. But is Izzy willing to sacrifice everything for her? Deep down she knows the answer and deep down she hates herself for it.

— NIKOLAI: He’s so handsome, of this she’s positive simply because of the way his smile causes her heart to race. To say she fell in love with him the first moment they met would be entirely accurate, for he knew exactly what to say to tug at her weaknesses. By far one of her worst qualities, she wears her heart on her sleeve, like an open wound laid bare for anyone to rub salt in. Though deep down, she always hopes it’ll be sugar. She always wants to believe the best in people, and certainly the same goes for Nik. He was so earnest during their first talks, so generous with his information and sympathetic to her cause, to her fight for justice within the bloodied streets of Verona. She barely had time to check on him, to look him up and sink her teeth into his past like any good journalist would. If she isn’t careful, he could expose her entire plot, but damn if he doesn’t have the deepest of sea blue eyes. And each time he’s near, all careful planning and hard earned wisdom Izzy has gathered fades away in favor of going for a swim.

— DELILAH: It breaks her heart to see a good woman silenced, especially when she’s been falsely promised so much. The Capulets appease her doubts over and over, each time she dares to break her silence if but just for a moment; but Izzy can see the storm behind her eyes, if only Delilah would let the floodgates flow open. With the whisper of a few secrets and a pen put to paper, the entire underbelly of Verona could rest in the palm of their hands. All she needs is a little push. And Izzy has every intention of doing so, no matter what.

[vaguelyrotten]

Like a Lily in a Flood

Title: Like a Lily in a Flood Artist: @myulalie Beta: @another-random-stranger​​ Pairings: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, mentions of Jimon and Reyhill Word Count: 70k Warnings: Mild Gore, Beheading, Nearly being eaten alive and burned at the stake, Discrimination, Sickness Summary:  Alec returns home to find his town plagued by a mysterious illness. Unable to find a cure, he ventures into the woods to seek help from an unlikely source. We must not look at goblin men... This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2021: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver

Chapter Two

Alec wasn’t surprised to find both Jace and Isabelle waiting for him when he approached the manor that evening. His sister rushed to take his horse’s reins once he’d passed through the gate. “Angel, Alec, we were starting to get worried. Night is almost here. Jace was about to saddle up and ride out to find you.”

“There’s no need for that,” he replied, sliding out of the saddle and letting his sister pull him into a tight hug. “We just got carried away.”

“We? Please tell me you didn’t go looking for the goblins, Alec. Even I’m not that dumb.” Jace’s voice was cross but he was already moving around the side of Alec’s horse to loosen the girth and pull the saddle from the sweaty gelding’s back.

Alec winced at his mistake. “Not a goblin, per say…”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Isabelle asked, crossing her arms as Jace took Flame’s reins and started leading him back to the barn. “You either met a goblin or you didn’t. Do you want to explain yourself?”

“Calm down, Izzy. I’m not in any danger. I did meet someone in the woods, but he’s not a goblin.” He paused, cocking his head slightly to the right as he considered his words. “Well, not a full goblin. It seems his mother was human and his father was a goblin...so he’s somewhere in between.”

He’d started walking back towards the house. He couldn’t experiment with cures in the kitchen; nor was the library entirely appropriate. His father’s office was also out of the question. He knew, however, that there was a spare storage room off the first floor that had been entirely empty when he’d left home. He could drag some tables and lamps in there. It could work.

“Can you get a lamp? I’m also going to need a mortar and pestle from the kitchen...maybe some water…” He trailed off as he tried to consider any other items that may be useful while he was trying to whip up a miracle. “Maybe a knife? A candle?”

Isabelle stared at him for a moment before she shook her head. “Come here...follow me.” She led him through the kitchen and down a set of stairs to the mudroom below. Alec found the room was already filled with tables and books, beakers and test tubes...anything he could possibly need.

How was it all here?

“Mom doesn’t come down here,” Isabelle explained, walking into the room and taking a seat at a little desk that was tucked away in the corner that Alec hadn’t previously noticed. “She wants me to get married off to a nice family — help the family name and all that. I don’t want that.” She sighed. “Aline and I have been writing to each other since you left. You know that she went to college? That’s what I want — to study medicine. Mom would never accept that...so Jace helped me set this place up so I could have a space to myself.”

He knew what she meant without her needing to come right out with it. “You’ve been trying to find a cure yourself.”

She nodded. “I haven’t had any luck though. I even tried to go into the woods myself but I just couldn’t bring myself to leave the path.” She looked disappointed in herself and Alec’s heart ached.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. Magnus said there are all kinds of spells keeping people who aren’t supposed to be in the woods out of the woods. He’s not even sure how I managed to cross…” He realized that Magnus hadn’t exactly been concerned. He’d been curious more than anything.

“Magnus?”

“The, uh, the man I met. The half-goblin,” he stammered as a blush rose to his cheeks.

Isabelle blinked twice before a grin spread across her face. “Magnus, hmm?” She was always too perceptive for her own good. “What else did Magnus tell you?”

“Stop, it’s not like that. He’s just… quite magical. He’s uh, very good at magic.” He hadn’t even seen Magnus do that much actual magic but what he had seen…

It sends a thrill down his spine.

His sister just laughed as she pulled the bag off his shoulder and started to look through it. “I assume Magnus told you how to use these? Or does the book you found cover everything?”

“The book told me some, Magnus taught me the rest… but he also said not to expect a miracle…” His voice trailed off as they set to work.

----------

He and Izzy tried every combination of the ingredients that he collected over the course of the next week to no avail. They’d used the book Alec had found in the library, the notes he’d taken when he had gotten home based on his memories of the things that he’d been told when he spent time with Magnus, as well as a few scrolls that his sister had borrowed from the local apothecary. Not a single cure they tried had any sort of effect on their father. They’d finally resorted to plain, old experimentation and weren’t surprised to find their efforts just as fruitless on that front.

“I don’t think there’s anything here, Alec, at least not in any method or combination that we’ve tried.” His sister sighed as she, Jace, and Alec sat around the table in the kitchen late one evening. “I hate to say it, but I think you’re going to have to go back to the woods and see if your goblin friend has other suggestions.”

“He’s only half-goblin,” Alec muttered, knowing full well that his sister was right. They’d exhausted every idea that they had, and even some they didn’t. It was time for something new. And something new meant he needed Magnus’ help again. “I don’t even know how to find him though. Last time, I just sort of...stumbled upon him.”

“Well, go try to stumble upon him again,” Jace replied as he cut an apple slice with a knife from his belt and held it out to his sister.

Isabelle grimaced. “I am absolutely not eating that, I don’t know where your knives have been or what they’ve been in and I don’t trust you to clean your weapons properly. I’ve seen what your room looks like.”

Jace shrugged and popped the slice of apple into his own mouth. “Seriously, Alec. I think Isabelle is right, as much as it pains me to admit. Mom and the crew she took with her won’t be back for months now. No one else in town has any sort of idea about what to try. Your half-goblin friend is the only chance we have of making any sort of headway with this damn disease if the king doesn’t want to grant us aid.”

Alec sighed and rubbed his hand tiredly across his eyes. “Fine.” He finally relented, knowing that he ultimately had no choice in the matter. Isabelle and Jace were right, he just...had to hope that Magnus wasn’t hard to find. “I’ll leave at dawn. If you want to help me gather my things, I’m going to try to catch a few hours of sleep. The last thing I want is to run into trouble in the woods and be too tired to defend myself.”

He left them to their squabbling and headed to bed, knowing that he’d catch no sleep that night despite his confident words to his siblings.

He did make an attempt to close his eyes, knowing that was better than nothing. He lost himself in thoughts instead of dreams. How would he find Magnus again? Last time, he’d let himself become nearly hopelessly lost (even if he wouldn’t admit it to Jace or Isabelle) when he’d finally encountered the purple ribbons.

He’d never actually asked Magnus about the purple ribbons. They had been there when he’d found Magnus and they’d passed by them a time or two when they’d been hunting down the various plants on Alec’s list. How did he even know those ribbons had anything to do with the half-goblin? Alec sighed and rolled over in bed to stare at the stars through his open window.

All he could do was hope.

----------

When morning finally came, he opened his eyes to find that he must have managed to get a few hours of sleep. He dressed and stumbled downstairs to find Jace and Isabelle already waiting for him outside.

Flame was saddled and his saddle bags were packed to the brim. Alec wasn’t sure what had them so full but apparently his siblings had been busy while he’d taken a nap.

“We packed you lunch,” Isabelle started, noticing the look that crossed Alec’s face and laughing. “Jace packed you lunch, and dinner for that matter. I had nothing to do with the food.” She explained, much to Alec’s relief.

“Isabelle spent all night in the library. She managed to find a few more books and made you a list. A few of these are apparently not great to touch with your bare skin, so we also packed you gloves, a few sharpened knives just in case you dull one, as well as some cloth and bags for collections.”

They’d apparently thought of everything, and Alec could only sigh in relief. What would he do without them at his side? They weren’t venturing into the woods with him but they were still doing their best to help him out. “Anything specific I should be looking for this time, Iz? You’re the expert here — you’ve been looking into this a lot longer than I have.” He placed one foot in the stirrup and pulled himself onto the gelding’s back.

“You focused a lot on the flowers last time. How about looking at the uglier and greener things? Mushrooms, herbs, trees…” She handed him a rolled up piece of parchment. “Here, I made you a list. You said that the forest didn’t follow any specific climates so I included some things that you wouldn’t find in our area. It’s a long shot but it was worth adding. I think we’re all ready to try anything at this point.”

He slipped the list in the inner pocket of his jacket and took his bow from Jace. “I’ll try to be home by dusk,” he stated as he slung his quiver over his shoulder and then did the same with the bow. “But I cut it close last time, so if I’m not back...give me at least another day or two before you send out the search party, alright?”

Jace squinted and Alec held his gaze until his brother relented. “Fine. You get two days before I come looking for your sorry ass.”

“Three.”

“Two — and that’s my final offer, Alec. Take it or leave it. You know I’m already not happy that you’re going out without me.” There was a hurt in Jace’s eyes hidden by his brother’s anger and sheer stubbornness.

“I know, but I need someone here to take care of Izzy, Max, and Mom in case something happens to me,” he whispered, taking Jace’s arm and giving it a knowing squeeze. They held their embrace for a moment before Jace pulled away and Alec turned his attention to his sister with a wry smile on his face. “Wish me luck?”

She snorted and shook her head. “Good luck — not that you need it. You certainly didn’t need it last time. Just don’t get married to some half-goblin man without bringing him over for dinner first at least.”

“Isabelle,” Alec sputtered as her words washed over him.

She laughed, her face softening after a moment. “Stay safe, Alec. You come back to us, alright?”

“I always will,” he replied, giving them both a look full of love and respect before turning his horse and trotting back down the path towards the woods.

----------

He had no plan to find the half-goblin so he was just praying to the Angel that Magnus found him instead. He kept his eyes peeled for any signs of camp;either the purple ribbons that he’d followed last time or a stray hoofprint in a place that it should not be. He glanced at the sun’s position in the sky and frowned as he realized that a few hours had passed with no sign of Magnus.

“Well buddy,” he said to his gelding as he pulled the horse to a halt and dismounted under a tall oak tree. “I say we stop for lunch. Obviously, what I’m doing isn’t working. Maybe we’ll have to trust your horse sense. Hopefully you know something I don’t. I don’t want to be stuck out here alone all night.” The gelding dropped his head to the lush grass below and Alec sighed, digging into his saddle bag for the lunch his siblings had packed for him.

He gave them an hour of rest, only a little bit dismayed to find that Magnus had yet to make his appearance. “Alright, Flame, like I said, we’re trying this a different way. Where do you want to go? And no stopping to snack every couple of minutes. We don’t have time for you to sample the local cuisine.”

He let the horse meander through the woods as his anxiety rose. Would he find Magnus before night fell? He’d been warned to stay away from the true goblins and the dangers that they could bring by both Magnus and the legends that he and his siblings had grown up with. He didn’t dare see what night would bring for a human alone where magic was making sure he couldn’t enter.

As dusk began to fall, the ambient noise in the forest ceased. A quiet forest was a dangerous one, and Alec began to worry for his safety. He glanced around, hoping for a miracle, only to spot what appeared to be lanterns in the distance. Finally, that must be Magnus. Who else could it be in his hour of need?

He continued slowly through the trees, his horse picking his way through the brush quietly, like he knew something that Alec did not. As he neared the source of the lanterns, he heard laughing and singing. His brow furrowed. There was more than one person in the clearing in front of him, and none of them sounded like his missing golden-eyed guide.

A hand grabbed his reins before he could go any further, and Flame snorted in surprise. Before he could say anything in response, he was pulled from his saddle quickly and a hand found its way over his mouth before he could make a sound. “Alexander?” A voice hissed quietly into his ear, and Alec relaxed upon instant recognition.

“Magnus.” He tried to reply, though it was muffled by the half-goblin’s hand.

“Alexander? What are you doing here? It isn’t safe to be in the woods at night.” Magnus whispered as he removed the hand over Alec’s mouth now that he was sure that Alec wouldn’t scream.

“I was looking for you,” he replied, turning so that he could face Magnus. The half-goblin was dressed a lot simpler than he had been the last time that Alec had seen him. There was a lot less color and sparkle. The lines of his jacket were sharp, the colors he wore were dark, and his expression was grim.

There was nothing of the laughter and joy that Alec had seen in the other man when they’d spent the day together a week ago.

“You shouldn’t be here. If the goblins had seen you, they would have done unspeakable things to you.” Magnus frowned as he glanced back towards the clearing that Alec had been about to enter. “I wouldn’t like finding out that you had gotten hurt because you had been looking for me.”

“If they’re so dangerous, why are you here?” Alec whispered, following Magnus’ gaze to what he could now see were not only lanterns but colorful carriages and a group of creatures sitting around a large bonfire. They were singing, dancing, and laughing; and Alec felt instantly drawn to the gathering in the center. He took a few steps closer.

“Alec, stop!” Magnus whispered harshly, grabbing Alec’s arm and hauling him sharply backwards. They stumbled into a tree that Magnus had been previously hiding behind and the impact was enough to pull Alec from whatever spell the singing and dancing had cast on him. He rubbed his eyes to clear the fog that he hadn’t even felt forming in his mind.

“Why are you here, Magnus? And what just happened? I didn’t hear the music at first and then as soon as I did...I lost myself.” That was an understatement. If Magnus hadn’t pulled him back, he would have walked right into the goblin camp — to a likely tragic situation.

Magnus sighed but his tight grip on Alec’s arm remained. “Remember the story? The singing and dancing attracted the sisters into the market.” Alec nodded, mesmerized by the way the distant fires were reflecting off of the gold in Magnus’ cat eyes. “That’s how they get you. It’s a lure. Those of us with goblin blood, we’re mostly resistant. We have to be. They’d kill us if we’re caught.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you said mostly,” Alec replied, narrowing his eyes as Magnus pulled him further behind the oak tree. “And you still haven’t told me what you’re doing here. I was looking for you, but I highly doubt that you were out here looking for me.”

“I wasn’t looking for you,” Magnus said softly, finally releasing Alec’s arm now that he had his attention. “They have something that I want and tonight seemed like the best time to take it. It’s the full moon — they’re all celebrating. Their guards will be down and there’s less of a chance of me being seen.”

“What’s so important that you’d risk your life to steal it?”

Magnus said nothing in reply. Te simply glanced back at the goblin camp before turning back to Alec with a sigh. “It’s too important for me to turn back now. I want you to wait here — I mean it, Alexander. Don’t follow me. I’ve got magic at my disposal, but I can’t hide us both; not against that many.” Alec nodded. “I’m going to do something to help with the magic in the song. It is temporary. Even if something happens to me, the spell will wear off in a day or so. You need to trust me though.”

“Of course I trust you, Magnus. I wouldn’t have come back here if I didn’t. I’ve been warned away from the woods my whole life,” Alec replied, reaching out for Magnus’ hand.

The half-goblin appeared thoughtful for a moment before he nodded. “Alright. If you see anything happen to me, just get out of here. Don’t stay around and try to help. I’ll be fine, I promise. Are you ready?” He held his hands up to Alec’s temple until the other man nodded. “Here we go.” There was a tingle of electricity in the back of Alec’s mind before the world fell silent.

Alec had a moment of panic before he remembered Magnus’ words. This was only temporary. He’d just told Magnus that he trusted him. He had to believe that too.

Magnus gave him a reassuring smile and held his hand out in front of Alec, making sure he told him to stay one last time. Alec nodded in agreement and Magnus turned back towards the camp…

And disappeared.

One minute the half-goblin was standing in front of him and the next, there was nothing save for a slight shimmer in the air if Alec squinted his eyes hard enough. Focusing on nothing gave him a headache and as much as he wanted to watch what Magnus was doing, he had to just trust him.

He took a deep breath and relaxed his eyes.

Trust Magnus.

Magnus had spent the day with a stranger trying to help him find the ingredients that he would need to save his people. Magnus had saved him from walking straight into a goblin camp. Magnus had used magic on him to prevent that same thing from happening while he couldn’t be next to Alec’s side.

Trust. Magnus.

The closest trailer to the edge of the camp where Alec was waiting was a deep red with a roof that was painted black (though, Alec noticed, the paint was peeling and was starting to reveal a much brighter blue underneath.) The door was closest to the woods and was out of the view of the creatures that had gathered around the central fire. Alec watched as the wooden door opened ever so slightly and a shadow that he assumed was Magnus’ nearly invisible form slipped inside.

It was a tense few moments where there was no movement. Alec glanced between the door and the creatures who appeared to be unaware of a thief in their midst, hoping that any minute now it would reopen and the shadow would appear.

Any minute now…

Just…

Any..

Finally, after what felt like ages, the door opened and the shadow slipped out. As Magnus’ hidden form began heading his way, he stumbled over a lyre that Alec had noticed on the ground but had been unable to warn him about.

They both froze and Alec squinted his eyes to try to get a better lock on the half-goblin’s position.

The cavorting around the fire stopped immediately, and Alec assumed one of the creatures had yelled something along the lines of ‘Did you hear that?’

A few stepped away from the fire; and now that they were closer, Alec could see that the poem he’d read in the library at the manor hadn’t been far off from the truth. One was tall and wiry with a pointed nose, large teeth, and whiskers jutting from his cheeks while the other was short and squat with a thin layer of grey and black fur covering his skin.

They came within a few paces of where Alec guessed Magnus was and he held his breath, hoping that Magnus had a way to disguise his scent like he was disguising himself. The goblins raised their snouts to the air and took a few tentative sniffs.

Alec dared not move. He could only hope that Magnus was as good at magic as he proclaimed to be. As much as he wanted to step in and assist the half-goblin in some way, he had promised that he would stay put. If he tried to help, there was a high chance that he would just make the situation worse.

The most he could do was to just…

Stay…

Still…

After what felt like ages (though Alec was sure it was just a few incredibly tense moments), the creatures turned tail and headed back to rejoin the party at the bonfire. He let out a sigh of relief and Magnus materialized at his side a moment later. Gentle fingers reached up to his temples and the sounds of the forest came rushing back to his ears.

“Let’s get out of here quickly,” Magnus whispered, grabbing Alec’s hand and pulling him towards Flame. “That was way too close for comfort.”

Alec mounted quickly and glanced over his shoulder with a frown. “Is Elias here? I haven’t seen him.”

Magnus shook his head. “He’s not my horse, he’s my friend. He comes and goes as he pleases. I set out on foot tonight.”

Alec offered his hand out to Magnus. “Come on, it’ll be quicker if we both ride.” The half-goblin considered it for a moment before taking Alec’s offer and letting the human pull him onto the gelding behind him. Once Magnus was settled, Alec nudged his horse forward quietly, only spurring him into a gallop once they were far enough away that they wouldn’t pull the goblins’ attention. “Which way?”

Magnus pointed towards the left and Alec pulled the rein and led them deeper into the woods.

They rode for half an hour with Magnus occasionally offering further direction. When he finally spotted the purple ribbons that he noticed the first time he’d visited Edom Forest, he slowed his horse to a walk. Flame was breathing heavily and Alec could only pat his neck gently in thanks.

There was no caravan like he’d seen in the goblin camps. Magnus had made a makeshift tent that was set up next to a tall Ash tree, though it didn’t look like he was using it. There was a small fire pit a few feet away and a bedroll set up next to that. “You live out here?” He asked after a moment. “This isn’t where you were last time.”

Magnus slid from the horse’s back and shrugged his dark jacket off next to the tree. “I told you the last time that we met. Those like me? Half-goblin, half-human, one hundred percent outcast. We don’t fit in anywhere. Both sides hunt us. I have to stay on the move if I want to survive. My—” he cut himself off and swallowed, apparently changing his mind mid-sentence. “The goblins don’t have that problem. They can have their caravans and their bonfires because they are the most dangerous predators in the forest.”

He sighed and threw a hand out towards the small fire pit. Alec watched fascinated as it instantly ignited in a bright, blue fire. “It’s too late to travel tonight. The woods aren’t safe and we already had one close call. I’m going to check the wards around the perimeter. Make yourself comfortable. We can talk when I’m finished.” Magnus walked off into the darkness, leaving Alec alone by the fire.

He stood frozen for a moment before he pulled himself together and set about with a familiar routine (albeit one that he hadn’t done since he and Jace would go camping with their father as children.) He untacked his horse; setting the saddle, blanket, and saddlebags gently on the ground next to Magnus’ tent before leading Flame a little farther off and tying his reins loosely to a tree to give him room to graze.

‘Rule number one:’ His father’s voice rang in his head. ‘Always take care of your horse first. Even if it’s raining, snowing, or you’re in the middle of a war. Your horse comes first.’

With Flame squared away for the night, he could finally turn his attention to himself. Magnus still hadn’t returned from doing whatever ‘checking the wards around the perimeter’ entailed. Alec removed his own jacket and laid it across his saddle. He still had some of the hand pies that his siblings had packed him earlier so he took two out, along with some dried fruit and jerky, and laid out his own bedroll next to the fire.

Magnus returned a few moments later looking more exhausted than Alec had seen him before. He collapsed next to the human and accepted the food he was offered gratefully. “Are you alright?” Alec asked as Magnus’ shoulder bumped his, noticing that the half-goblin seemed a bit unsteady sitting up.

Magnus blinked before nodding slowly. “I’ll be alright. I just added a little extra to the wards tonight since we nearly got caught earlier. I don’t want to take any chances while we sleep...but I think we both deserve a peaceful night of rest. I can’t imagine you aren’t sore after an entire day in the saddle. It must have been a long ride for you to find your way this deep into the woods.”

“I’ll be fine,” Alec replied truthfully. “I’ve had longer, harder days of riding when I was still training to be a soldier.” They ate in silence for a moment before a stray thought crossed his mind. “What was it you were after tonight, anyway? What was important enough that you wanted to risk your life to get it?” Magnus didn’t answer, instead choosing to stare blankly at the pastry in his hand. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s not really my place to be inserting myself into your life. I’m not going to force you to show me, Magnus. You’re welcome to your secrets.”

“No, Alexander,” Magnus sighed, pushing himself to his shaky feet. “You were there. I put you in danger as well when I didn’t immediately turn us around. I could have come back without you another time.” He reached into the pocket of his discarded jacket and pulled something out that Alec couldn’t immediately see. “Here. See for yourself.” He placed the item in Alec’s extended hand.

It was a heavy medallion made of antique gold and silver and engraved with a rough image of a twisting serpent. It was on a string made of brown leather and surrounded by opal beads. It almost seemed to hum happily in Alec’s hands. A flash of familiarity washed over Alec and he frowned.

It was familiar...but how? Why? Magnus had just stolen this from the goblins. Alec had never previously been in the woods. There should be no way Alec had seen this before and yet…

He had. Somewhere, somehow, he had come across this medallion. The only possibility that made sense was that he’d seen an image of it during his research in the library, but it wasn’t the medallion itself that was familiar. It was the electric zing that he felt when he held it that he was acquainted with in some way.

“It’s pretty,” he said after a moment, well aware that Magnus’ eyes were focused on him and his reaction to the medallion. “What does it do? I’m guessing there’s a reason you risked so much to get this back.”

“There are a few reasons,” Magnus replied quietly, finally tearing his eyes away from Alec to glance towards the fire instead. “That medallion is ancient and powerful. It’s old goblin magic. I’ve got a friend who was cursed and I’m hoping that it will help me heal him.”

“What makes you think it can?” Alec asked. He ran his fingers over the image of the serpent on the surface. The hum of the magic in the medallion got stronger for a moment before it leveled out once more. He handed the necklace back to Magnus.

“My—” Magnus started, stopping himself quickly. “Well, the goblin king,” he corrected as he took the medallion from Alec and returned it to his pocket. “He used it to lay the curse on my friend because he was upset with me. Because it was used to curse him, I’m hoping that with the right spell and a different kind of magic, it can be used to cure him as well.”

Alec blinked as he comprehended Magnus’ words. “I’ve got a few questions about that. The first being...what could you possibly have done to make the king of the goblins upset enough for him to curse your friend?”

Magnus laughed; a quiet, sad sound that betrayed the easy air that the half-goblin typically carried, and broke Alec’s heart. “I exist,” he said after a moment, unable to look the other man in the eyes as he spoke. “Trust me, that’s more than enough in his eyes. He wasn’t able to take his frustrations out on me because he can’t catch me. Poor Raphael was in the wrong place at the wrong time. They could have killed him but they decided to send a message instead.”

“This curse — what is it? It’s not like the illness affecting the village, is it?”

Magnus shook his head. “No, if it were that easy, I would have suggested that we go try to steal this the first time we met so that we could kill two birds with one stone, as they say. Asmodeus cursed Raphael with an allergy to sunlight. The poor boy can’t let sunlight tough his skin or he will start to smoke and his body will burn until there is nothing left but ashes. He’s had a few close calls. I’d like to remove the curse if I’m able so that he’ll no longer have to worry… especially since the whole thing is my fault in the first place.”

“Hey,” Alec said sharply, scooting closer to Magnus and catching the other man’s hands. “What happened to your friend isn’t your fault. You weren’t the one that cursed him.”

Magnus let out a strangled laugh. “I wish it were that simple, Alexander. Unfortunately, Raphael’s fate is my fault. Asmodeus cursed him because he was angry with me. He couldn’t get to me, so he took his frustrations out on my friend instead.”

Alec looked like he wanted to ask more, and Magnus was prepared for an influx of questions. It wasn’t every day you found out that the king of the goblins had a personal vendetta against someone. The other man bit his tongue and shook his head instead. “Do you mind if I ask what you think you did that was bad enough to warrant that sort of attention? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s not really my place to ask.”

Magnus froze, Alec’s words a gentle wave in a sea of uncertainty. He was so used to people just taking and demanding and wanting more from him that Alec’s simple request and evident concern for Magnus’ privacy was a true relief in these trying times. He gave the other man a sad smile. “He wanted me. Well, mostly he wanted my power. Even though I might be a halfbreed, that power is still power that he currently doesn’t have,” Magnus sighed. “Besides, our magic works a little bit differently than true goblin magic does. I’m sure that’s part of the reason why he’s after me.”

Alec’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean your magic is different? I thought magic was magic?”

“Well yes and no,” Magnus started, quickly trying to decide just how much information he wanted to give Alec. The differences in goblin magic versus half goblin magic was part of the reason why both sides had hunted them so mercilessly. If he explained that magical theory to Alec, he’d be telling him long forgotten secrets that his own kind held on to tightly.

Could he trust him with that kind of information?

He tilted his head and looked the human over once more. Alec hadn’t done anything that would suggest he was anything short of trustworthy. He’d even offered his assistance back at the goblin camp, though Magnus hadn’t taken it to keep him safe. He’d put Magnus’ privacy first when most people did not.

Maybe it was time for a change.

Their people had been fighting for so long. The wards on the forest ensured that there would always be a barrier between their two worlds but...maybe that’s not how it should be.

He could try to change that. They could try to change that.

And it could start right here with him and Alec; and some faith, trust, and a little bit of magic theory.

“The biggest difference between our magic and true goblin magic is that we aren’t bound by the same rules. Goblin magic is old; and old things are all about strict guidelines and bargains and oaths. Think...Rumpelstiltskin. You’re familiar with that tale, I take it?” Magnus asked, waiting for Alec to nod before he continued. “Rumpelstiltskin made a bargain. Straw into gold for jewelry and the first born child. Later, the child’s life in exchange for guessing his name. A bargain accepted must be fulfilled by both parties. An oath given must be followed. There are terrible repercussions for breaking your word.”

“And I take it your magic works differently?”

This time, it was Magnus’ turn to nod. “Because of our half-human nature, we aren’t bound by the old laws of magic. We can use our abilities much more freely and that is something both humans and goblins covet. That is the real reason that we’re hunted.”

Alec said nothing for a few moments, and Magnus wondered if he’d made the right decision in sharing his secrets with the other man. “I’m sorry,” Alec said finally, his voice nothing short of soft and slightly desperate. “I’m sorry that you always have to be on the run. I’m sorry that the world is after you. I’m sorry that you can’t just live. No one should have to experience that. Thank you for explaining it to me...and after I find the cure for the people back in town, I’d like to try and do something about that if you’re willing to help me.”

“Well, what did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know yet but we’ll figure it out when we get there. How’s that sound?”

Magnus grinned as they both settled down to try and get some rest. “That sounds like a spectacular idea, Alexander.”

[mermaidmaiabelle]

congrats on your follower milestone ali! since it’s the holidays, and bc ‘last christmas’ is my favorite christmas song, how about malec + ‘last christmas’ for a song to inspire you?

prompt me for 1k followers celebration fics!  

(also available on ao3)

I'm going to propose to Camille tomorrow.

The message lights up Alec's phone at 9pm, on Christmas Eve. He's sitting around, watching It's a Wonderful Life alone in his apartment. There's an inexplicable sinking feeling in his chest, and Alec idly rubs his fingers together, watching the chat he has with Magnus on his phone. Magnus is typing again.

Do you think it's a good idea?

No, his heart says. No, don't marry her. She's crazy, she's trying to make you something you're not and I miss the old you. I miss the Magnus Bane I met in college, the Magnus Bane that was my best friend. The Magnus that partied until dawn and did whatever he wanted, fuck what anyone else said. The Magnus that was proud of himself, no matter what.

Ever since Camille, it had all been different. She'd tried to make him respectable, saying stupid simpering things about how Magnus' reckless actions reflected badly on her and her reputation, and how he was disappointing her. And he actually listened. She was manipulating him and it worked.

But Alec had tried to talk him out of it before. Magnus wouldn't listen. She had him so good, that the only thing he could do was wait and hope that Magnus saw it himself. They'd all tried. Ragnor, Catarina, Izzy, Raphael.... but if Magnus didn't want to listen, he wouldn't. He was too stubborn to talk out of anything.

It didn't matter what he told Magnus. He would do whatever he wanted anyway.

If you think you should, then do it.

There's a pause. The screen blinks with little dots. Magnus is typing.

Thanks, Alec. You're a good friend.

That should be enough. But there's lead in his stomach, and a vague feeling of sickness in his soul. He sits there for a moment, alone, watching George Bailey walk through the horror of the world he had wished for.

His fingers hit dial on his phone before he's consciously realised what he's doing.

"Hey big brother. What's up?" Izzy asks chirpily.

"He's getting married," Alec says with little preamble, the preoccupation evident in his tone. "Magnus. He's going to propose to her tomorrow."

"Oh, Alec." The sadness in Izzy's voice makes him feel worse.

"It's fine. He's happy," Alec says flatly, wishing he could believe it.

"But what about you?" Izzy asks.

He's a man in love with his best friend, too afraid to say anything, too afraid to ruin their friendship, and too afraid about what the world would say. Magnus was always the bold one. Magnus was the one who showed him how not to care. And that was gone. Without that.... if Magnus couldn’t be bold, then how could he? Magnus was with Camille. And Alec... Alec needed to move on.

"I'll be fine," Alec says. And for a moment, he believes it.

We're not getting married.

It's the middle of Christmas Day. His mother is fussing in the kitchen, whilst Luke pours the drinks. Clary is moving a beautifully decorated cake into the lounge, whilst Izzy and Maia are curled up together on the couch. It's maybe half an hour from turkey o'clock. Phones are probably banned about now. He's supposed to be setting the table. Instead he's looking at his phone, text from Magnus drawing his attention away.

What happened?

He’s spending the day with Camille's family. Alec had been surprised to hear that at the time. He hadn't imagined there would be a Christmas Magnus wouldn't spend with his mother. But instead she was at Ragnor's place, with Raphael, Catarina and Madzie, and Magnus was on the other side of town.

She said she never loved me like that. That it was never serious.

Alec swore. That bitch.

Alec walks out of the dining room, past the lounge and down the hall to his old childhood bedroom. He feels Izzy's eyes on his back. She's the only one who knows how he feels, and she obviously knows something's up with Magnus. But she leaves him be anyway.

As soon as he closes the door, he dials Magnus' number, praying to God that he picks up. It rings once, twice, three times. By the time it reaches six, Alec's wondering if Magnus is going to pick up at all. But then there's static, and the sound of traffic in the background. Magnus is obviously not at Camille's place anymore.

"Alec?"

Oh God. Magnus sounds like he's been crying. Alec can remember every single moment that he's heard Magnus cry in extreme detail. It's usually serious. Which means this isn't good.

"Magnus. Where are you?" Alec asks immediately. Magnus takes a deep breath in, seeming to gather himself.

"Somewhere on East 96th? I think. I don't know."

That's not far from Camille's apartment.

"Where are you going?" Alec asks.

"I... I don't know. I just... I thought...I'm such an idiot." Magnus mumbles, and Alec immediately hushes Magnus down the line.

"No. You're not an idiot. You're not an idiot for hoping for something amazing."

"You tried to tell me. Ragnor and Catarina and my Mom... oh God, my Mom," Magnus says shakily. "I can't see them right now."

"Come here," Alec says automatically.

"Alec, I couldn't interrupt-"

"You won't be."

"Your mom probably already got all the food ready-"

"We have room for one more. We always have room for you."

Magnus breathes in deeply.

"Okay. Okay," he says, almost trying to reassure himself.

"Get on the subway. I'll meet you at the station," Alec promises solemnly.

"Thanks, Alec," Magnus says softly, so softly that the emotion leaks out of every sound.

"I'll be with you the whole way here. All you need to do is message me," Alec promises. He's never been happier that his phone is fully charged.

"Okay. I'll see you soon."

Half an hour later, he's standing at the subway station, wrapped up in a winter coat, waiting with open arms when Magnus stumbles out of the station, looking for all the world like an utter wreck. Alec can't help but reach out, and Magnus falls into his arms with a warm hug that's such a contrast to the bite of the cold air around them.

An hour later, and Magnus is squeezed onto the corner of their dining room table, sitting between Maia and Izzy, laughing at a joke Luke just told. His smile lights up the room, and Izzy shoots Alec a pointed look. Alec just shakes his head softly.

He shouldn't be happy for his friend's misery. He shouldn't be happy, given how this all happened. But for all the world, it feels like Magnus is home.

He'd feel guilty if it didn't feel so right.

And then he remembers he's in love with a man he can never have. And suddenly, it doesn't matter.

A year later and it's 9pm, and he's watching It's a Wonderful Life again. Alec's not quite sure when this became a tradition for him. Last year it was just on TV somewhere. This year he actually sought it out.

In some ways, nothing has changed. He's still going to his mother's place tomorrow, spending Christmas with the same people. But in other ways, it's different. His sister finally moved in with her girlfriend. Alec didn't know how she'd waited this long - she'd been head over heels for Maia for far too long. Clary graduated art school, and his mother actually started dating Luke Garroway. Alec liked him. She seemed happy again, something she had never really been with his father. That’s a fact Alec can only recognise now, looking back.

Things were better. And yet some things never really changed.

Are you home?

Alec picks up his phone, the message from Magnus glowing on his screen. Magnus' profile picture is different from last year. He's visibly happier. It's a picture from Pride a few months ago. They'd gone together, along with Izzy and Maia. They'd dressed up in rainbows and danced through the day. Alec had fallen a little more in love, something he hadn't even thought was possible.

The picture is one of them together, Magnus' arms slung around his shoulders, the blue, pink and purple of Magnus' make up sitting next to the rainbows on Alec's cheeks. Magnus had painted them on himself. Said it was time to embrace the spirit of Pride. Magnus had spent the last year teaching him how to truly embrace his identity. Pride had been a celebration of all the things that had been missing between them for so long. They’d laughed and joked and drunk a little too much. Alec had never been happier.

But he still wasn't brave enough to say what he wanted to say.

Yeah, why?

The reply comes quickly, which makes him think Magnus was waiting on him.

I'm outside your apartment.

Alec frowns, getting to his feet and heading to the window. He pushes it open, leaning out into the cold night air, looking down at the street below. And sure enough, Magnus is standing there, looking every inch the supermodel as the snow flutters into his hair. Alec feels his heart leap a little, and he smiles. Magnus always looks amazing, but something about the image of him standing on his doorstep on Christmas Eve, snow falling through the air.

Alec shuts the window, heading to his door and pushing the buzzer to let Magnus into the apartment building. He then unlocks his front door and leans out into the landing, watching as Magnus walks up the stairs. His cheeks are flushed red. He looks amazing.

"Hey. Didn't realise you were visiting," Alec says, leaning on the door. Magnus smiles softly.

"Neither did I," Magnus admits, and Alec moves aside to let Magnus into the apartment. It's a Wonderful Life is still rambling on his TV.  But Alec can't bring himself to care, when Magnus is lighting up his drab little apartment more than a ton of Christmas decorations could.

"What's up?" Alec asks, instinct telling him this is more than a social call. He closes the door softly before pulling his hoodie tighter around his body, yanking the zip closed.

"I was with Ragnor. And we were talking. About last year."

Last year. Last Christmas, when Magnus had decided to propose to his heinous bitch of a girlfriend. At least she'd been enough of a bitch to refuse. Magnus was better off out of that relationship.

Magnus had tripped through a few rebounds over the year. But he seemed better now. Happier. He hadn't dated anyone since Pride, actually, but he seemed good. Maybe it was a sign of progress. Something had changed that weekend, and Magnus was all the better for it. Alec could tell.

"Yeah?" Alec asks, leaning on the back of his sofa. Magnus is standing in the middle of the room, snow gently melting in his hair. The glowing of his Christmas tree sets off his makeup with a glow of yellow and red and green. It's a vision.

"He says I give my heart away too easily," Magnus says softly, and Alec shakes his head.

"Being willing to take a risk like that is brave," Alec says honestly. After all, he'd always been too much of a coward to do it himself. Magnus smiles, shaking his head in return.

"I don't know. Something he said made me realise I already gave it away to someone else."

Oh. Magnus is in love. Alec wonders how he didn't know. Magnus has always been good at keeping his own counsel when needed. No doubt after the Camille business, Magnus wanted to test things out himself. He’d probably had enough relationship advice to last a lifetime.

"Oh," Alec verbalises. "Well, I'm happy for you. When can I meet them?" He says the words on autopilot. He finds this strange feeling, of meaning the words but also not, also desperately, strangely hoping for the impossible. But Alec's never said anything. He's never been brave enough, and things do not just fall into his lap like that. He's not that lucky.

Magnus chuckles softly, and Alec feels his heart sink a little. What does that mean? Something bad or good?

"You know, I should have realised sooner. But I guess I was just... I never really thought I could be that lucky." Magnus reached up, toying with the button on his coat. Alec frowned a little. "I should have realised years ago."

"What are you talking about, Magnus?" Alec asked.

"It's you, Alec."

His whole world freezes.

"And look, if you don't want the same things as me, it's fine," Magnus rambles. "This doesn't need to change anything, but Ragnor was just talking about his relationship with Raphael, and he made me realise what love really is and how I've been looking for all the wrong things and.... honestly, I've had a crush on you since that mixer at college, but I never wanted to rush you and you seemed more comfortable with-"

Alec pushes himself off the sofa, moves across the lounge in two steps, and presses his lips against Magnus'. It's a flood of emotion, of longing and years of hoping and wishing, and as Magnus' lips move against his, Alec feels a rush of endorphins like nothing else. He's kissed guys before, but nothing like this. Nothing that's a rush like this.

Magnus pulls away for a moment, but Alec can't help but give chase. The kiss lasts for a few seconds more before they inevitably break for breath, foreheads bumping together gently. As their breaths intertwine, Alec can see the individual shades of eyeshadow on his face. Magnus has never looked this beautiful, Alec swears, even if it's probably not true.

"Wow," Magnus breathes.

"I should have done that a long time ago," Alec whispers quietly.

"How long?" Magnus asks.

"Ever since you talked me into having pizza and nachos at 4am."

Alec remembers the night well. A late night of studying at college, followed by a party Alec never would have been brave enough to go to alone. Magnus had looked beautiful, dancing under the neon lights, and had still gone home with him. They’d ended up eating cold pizza in his dorm room after, lying on the floor and talking about nothing and everything. There was something so intensly beautiful about the man lying beside him, past the physical attraction. It was in that moment Alec had realised he couldn’t imagine life without Magnus. That he didn’t want to.

"Oh," Magnus murmurs. Alec shakes his head softly.

"You were always with someone else. It never felt right," Alec tells him softly. "And after Camille.... I'm sorry I -"

"No. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you in the first place. You've always been there for me."

"So have you," Alec retorts. Magnus opens his mouth again, but Alec just leans in, pressing another brief kiss to Magnus' lips just to get him to stop talking. Also because he'd wanted to do that for so long, he was going to savour the luxury of being able to now.

"We're here now. That's all that matters," Alec replies.

After a moment, Magnus nods in agreement.

"Spend Christmas with me?" Alec offers. "Your Mom can come too. Hell, I'll invite the whole of Brooklyn if it makes you happy."

Magnus chuckles softly, and nods. In the background, the bells are ringing for George's happy ending in the movie, and Alec can't help but feel the bells are ringing for them too.

Everything feels perfect.

It feels like home.