#and yes! everyone has different powers than usual for my super AUs!

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 309

no actually i wont stop inserting my blorbos into other properties.

anyway.

i saw hadestown on tour this summer and im never going to emotionally or spiritually recover. and i have a lot of thoughts about this au!! long-winded rambling under the cut

so casting: Orpheus: Jade Eurydice: Aradia Hermes: Rose Hades: Jane (Crockertier mode, primarily) Persephone: Roxy The fates are representative of like. Aradia's ghost voices. I don't super know how to convey that visually. ANYWAY!! I just think that the dynamic between Orpheus and Eurydice in the way Hadestown tells their story gets very much to the heart of what I think is so interesting about AraJade, and that's the like.... Conflicting worldviews they have. I think that conflict, despite frustrating them at times, is part of what pulls them toward each other. Aradia (and Eurydice) are like... Kind of tragic characters! They have been through a lot, and while Aradia is very positive, and Eurydice is prepared to crack jokes, their worldviews boil down to "The universe is uncaring, and fate bears down on us no matter what choices we make. But FUCK it, I am going to live anyway. I'm going to do whatever the hell I have to do to keep going as an act of rebellion."

Jade (and Orpheus) however, still manage to be optimistic, not just about their own prospects, but about the world. When problems arise, they're not just going to ignore them and try to press on as things get worse. They're going to try to solve the problem! They're going to put that responsibility on themselves. It might speak to a level of overconfidence, or naivete, sure. But it also speaks to an overabundance of compassion for the people around it. They're not just going to fix things for themselves, but for everybody.

So when they meet, and Jade says "YES the world is difficult, the seasons are wrong, the world is out of tune, but I am going to write a song that will fix it." Aradia is understandably skeptical! She doesn't believe it until Jade shows her proof that her music has some otherworldly power (which. shakes her worldview obviously and she kind of fucking LOVES that?) But Rose (Hermes) says this girl will make her feel alive again, and to Aradia, "that's worth a lot" Speaking of Rose, idk. I was torn on who to put in Hermes' place. But Rose is established as both a Seer, and a storyteller. To repeatedly narrate a story whose tragic ending she's already seen play out a thousand times, just because it's beautiful and hey, maybe it'll turn out different this time (even though it never has before.) IDK ITS JUST A ROSE VIBE 2 ME! Plus Hermes has a friendly relationship with Orpheus, he wants him to succeed, but he's also not afraid to pull punches when criticizing him. I think that's a good dynamic for Rose and Jade.

I also waffled around for a while about Hades and Persephone, but in the end Persephone really HAD to be Roxy. It's not just about the alcoholism recovery arc they both share, it's about Persephone as a daughter missing her mother, and as a figure known to everyone around her as funny and generous and just kind of this universally-beloved figure who behind the scenes is REALLY struggling to cope with her own emotions. The Roxy vibes are truly off the charts. So given that, Jane made the best Hades, I think. Jane as Hades isn't the MOST compelling matchup in this to me, but I think she fits into the role well enough. First off, she really DOES love Roxy. But as they drift apart over time, and in the absence of any other real positive influences, she just kinda... Falls into the capitalism thing a little too hardcore. She misses Roxy and maybe to start with she really DOES think that if she can make enough progress in her work that it will impress Roxy enough to maybe stay a little longer than usual, but well. Industrial progress is not what impresses Roxy! And Jane is.... A little stubborn about her worldview, and has become extremely busy with her work, and doesn't really pay close enough attention to Roxy's feelings to notice all that, so. Things decay rapidly, and it becomes a point of conflict between them. But in the end we DO get to see them taking the first steps towards resolving things. Because frankly I think they would! They just care too much about each other at the end of the day.

Anyway listen to the Hadestown soundtrack if you haven't yet, please, I'm fucking begging

[smoothshine]

Tag game: eight shows to get to know me

I was tagged by @scienceoftheidiot and @goneadrift (thank you!! 🥺💕), and now the deal is that I get to rant about a couple of shows I like, so let's get straight to it!

1. House M.D.

- Knowing how many seasons are there in this show, I think it says something that I purposefully rewatched the full thing several times, and I probably will do it again at some point. Many characters from this series have a special place in my heart, and oh boy do I love myself a good medical drama sometimes. + the different medical cases are just very interesting for me to observe, even though I am by no means a medical specialist, let's say I know a thing or two from this field x)) (and some of you are probably aware of that, ahah)

2. Lethal Weapon

- This one is another one of these shows that I occasionally come back to for a rewatch, the chemistry between two main characters is amazing, and the main plotline is pretty good imo, + it's a classic detective-involving series, where, granted, not every case is super intriguing or complicated, but I think the characters and their development and relationships with each other - all this usually goes first when determining a series that I'll most probably like, and it delivers that part for sure! (Yes I used this specific gif because now I can't stop picturing this, but with Royais + Hughes, lolol, sorry I have a brainrot)

Also, look at this silly little totally not dysfunctional guy, come on, you can't help but love him:

3. Lucifer

- Ohohoho this one was one of the first quite long-term obsessions for me - I was watching it with my good friend as it was coming out (pretty sure starting from like, season 2 we began to watch it as it was airing, or at least I was and then I dragged this friend along for the ride, ahah), and I remember having so much fun with it - making theories, trying to predict the direction for the next season, simping over the main cast, being (more often unironically than not) frustrated with love triangles, all the good stuff. I also really like the soundtrack used in the series, and, of course, I have to mention the fact that its main leads are a blonde badass detective who is actually a sweetheart and her goofy dark-haired bastard-certified material partner who can actually be very scary and powerful to anyone but her :333

Go figure if I have a type or not, right (omg I just realized she also has a cute pet name and it's "detective")

4. Fleabag

- This one was such a pleasant surprise for me, the further I was watching the more invested into it I was getting, and in the end it turned out to be such an emotional rollercoaster, while also being able to handle a balance between more serious scenes and great humor really well. The romance plotline turned out to be very interesting too - overall, it's a great pretty short series that I can definitely recommend for people to check out at some point (I was indeed very happy when I found out @goneadrift was watching it too, hehe)

5. Sherlock (the BBC one)

- Honestly, this one is associated with many good memories for me - we used to watch it for a couple of years in a row with my parents during New Year, and it was like, one of the highlights of our celebration. Life just seemed so much easier these days, and I always remember them with warmth and joy. But! Apart from the sappy stuff - I genuinely think it's a nice modern AU Sherlock adaptation, hehe, as always, I pay a lot of attention to the chemistry between the characters, especially the main cast, and I think pretty much everyone nailed it - I find the characters from this series to be very enjoyable to watch. The other point that I want to mention here is the directing - I remember myself being very impressed by some of the shots and directing/editing choices they made there, and, of course, the main soundtrack is now pretty much engraved into my memory, hehe

(So yeah, aside from the last season, which I don't think is that bad, but definitely not as good as the earlier ones imo, it's a great show!)

6. Elementary

- Surprise surprise, another Sherlock adaptation involving detective storyline(s), who would've thought, right? Honestly, I don't remember a lot about it, since I haven't rewatched it in a looong time, ahah, but, believe it or not, I still love it and have a couple of good memories associated with it. Used to watch it during weekends back in the day when I still watched TV, lolol, but yeah, I think it's a pretty unique Sherlock adaptation, and you can definitely have fun watching it!

7. Forever

- That one is unexpected, definitely not my usual series of choice, but surprisingly I finished it pretty quickly and was glad I decided to give it a shot x)

(For the record - it's a series about a guy who works in the morgue while trying to find how to get rid of his immortality curse 👀👌).

8. Fullmetal Alchemist

- Gonna follow the lead of @scienceoftheidiot and add this one on the list too, because my god this series has me in a chokehold. Specifically Royai stuff of course, but I think in general this is the kind of anime (both FMA and FMAB btw) people who are generally not that much into anime can enjoy (I am saying as I am, apparently, one of these people, ahah). It's just a great story with a great cast and lovely imagery and soundtrack, I mean, what else can you possibly need? (Meanwhile here I am, going absolutely insane every time I think about my two beloved war criminals kissing)

O, here they are, by the way!

Aand that's all for today, no-pressure tags for @lassusog @chrysopoeias @nightofnyx8 @fullmetalscullyy @jedidragonwarriorqueen and anyone who wants to participate (also because it doesn't allow me to tag more people for some reason??), in case you feel like it! :3

[staceymcgillicuddy]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @astorytotellyourfriends! ❤️❤️❤️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

On this account? 8. Total across every fandom (hi, yes, I get paranoid about bothering people from old fandoms with new content so I make new names like a dork), 74. Wow, that is So Many.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

In Hellcheer, 237,256. Across everything, 1,311,715.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Stranger Things, but past fandoms were LoTR, a brief dabble in the MCU, X-Files, RPF which shall not be named, and uh... Dawson's Creek. Yes, I am old.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Only looking at Hellcheer fic:

to get my soul known again

If She Lived in Space, Man, I’d Build a Plane 

Trudge on Home to Celebrate 

crimson & clover pulling overtime 

model citizen; zero discipline 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love interacting with people, and I figure if they're kind enough to leave a comment, I ought to be kind enough to respond. That said, I'm way behind on Kinktober comments.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have never written an angsty ending in fic, because fic is my happy place. I have written some bittersweet ones, though.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest? Damn. I mean, I haven't actually ended a Hellcheer longfic yet but Soul is absolutely a HEA.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

People have been surprisingly kind throughout my fic history. There have been some trolls and dickheads, but for the most part everyone has been super generous.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! Usually kinky stuff, which is where I have the most interest. I find vanilla stuff kind of boring, so there's usually some power dynamic or another in there to pique my interest and keep me inventing weird stuff for them to do.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I wrote an X-Files/LoTR crossover in high school but that's not that weird.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I've been made aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have, with my best friend. We wrote together in high school, and in some early fandoms. I really enjoyed it and would love to do it again, but it's a funny alchemy to find someone who fits your vibe and who you bounce off correctly and who wants to tell the same story you're telling.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Radu/Elmira. There's a deep cut.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

There's one in another fandom that is legitimately my only unfinished work in that fandom and it makes me sad. I do have a lot of half-started WIPs in draft that I haven't posted, so I guess those count. Maybe the western AU?

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I am decent at dialogue and description, and that I am better than some writers but worse than others. This is as close as I am legally allowed to come to complimenting my own work, thank you for understanding.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Literally everything else.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I would absolutely either have someone else help me, or I would write it in English and italicize it to indicate it's in another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Files.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I genuinely love Soul and am so proud of it, but I don't know that it's my favorite. I don't even know that I have a favorite, because I love them all for different reasons and get sad when the ones I am excited about don't hit as hard as the ones I'm 'meh' on.

Throwing this to @binickandros @justhere4thevibez @1lostsoul0fishbowl aaaaaaaand @pipergirl17

[stfu-im-thinking-abt-blorbo]

I have seen Kaneda in my dreams a total of three different times now. I don't usually have dreams about fictional characters, it's super rare for me. But Kaneda has consistently shown up in the past few months. Idk what's triggering it in my brain or why him specifically but it's caused me to develop an attachment to him aaaa

Dream 1

This was closer to when I first watched AKIRA earlier this year. I was obsessed with Tetsuo at the time and was planning on F/Oing him before I found out his age. (He's still in my general age bracket of about 3-4 years, but idk maybe Twitter DID brainwash me into thinking a three year age gap is actually deplorable and deviant.) I had already started to develop my version of post canon in my AU (where Tetsuo lives and his powers were nerffed to hell and back as punishment for misusing them.) So for some reason, my dream took place not only in that AU, but an alternate version where I was with Kaneda instead. We were living in a house together eerily similar to my real home and were trying to have a relaxing movie night but kept getting interrupted. First by some of our pets, then by our food burning, then one of the pets again, and eventually we made it to the couch and fell asleep together before we could even decide on what movie to watch. I woke up super confused and questioned why it wasn't Tetsuo or one of my other fictional crushes.

Dream 2

Second dream is super different. Took place in suburbia version of where I live (I'm a country bumpkin 🤠) and my family would take me into the city occasionally. At some point I met Kaneda and the guys in said city and I became really close friends with them. Flash forward an unknown amount of time and it's very clear to everyone that Kaneda and I are pining over each other. It must have been a couple of years because Kaneda looked a lot older, though I didn't look very different (actually not very surprising, I look 12 atm.) He was much taller, his hair was a bit messier, he had a small but dark scar over one of his eyebrows, and he looked very tired all the time. He was going through something but I don't remember what, and I kept offering him to come back home to live with me. He was seriously debating it, but eventually the thing he was dealing with caught up to him and we dealt with it together, and I never found out what his decision was. I woke up. But I remember going up to him when he was sitting on some stairs in a basement (similar to my home, but I distinctly remember knowing I wasn't home at the time?) I asked him if he had decided yet. He looked at me, stood up and smiled. I smiled back, but when I blinked I only saw my real-world room after I reopened my eyes. I'd like to say he was going to say yes. This is the dream that made me seriously consider whatever the fuck my brain was trying to suggest about Kaneda. I was in denial about liking his character that much, but I've since come to terms with it and he's now a top-tier comfort character. Still iffy on the F/O thing even tho he's older than Tetsuo and therefore even closer to my age. Idk lol.

Dream 3

The most recent and easily the shortest interaction. He was more of a cameo in the dream. I often get dreams about being back in high school, specifically on the first day of school. I usually never know who my homeroom teacher is or what my schedule is because you're supposed to 1.) Find that out before school starts where I'm from, and 2.) Find your schedule online and only get one printout from your homeroom teacher. This time my dream had our homeroom teachers posted up on the wall in front of the main entrance/lobby, but it was based on your GPA from the prior year. And I didn't recognize any of the names from my old high school so I was stuck not knowing who my teacher was or where to go. And there were zero other adults out so I had no one to turn to for help bc no one takes care of their own out here. I went down the same hallway about four different times before I walked past a very bright red jacket. I was already distracted by a couple of other guys who mistook me for a similar looking guy who happened to be their weed dealer?? (If I had a nickel for every time someone confused me for someone else that looks weirdly a lot like me, I'd have two nickels.) Kaneda was already busy talking to someone else, i think it was Kai, so neither if us noticed each other until the last second. We both turned around to look at each other, I smiled at him and he winked before catching up with Kai. Then I went back to the lobby, met up with some old friends and eventually woke up.

There is no rhyme or reason to these dreams, my brain just spits out whatever plot it can think of. Regardless I'm still happy he's shown up in my dreams. I wouldn't have one of my blorbos without them lol.

[thelastspeecher]

sorry abt taking forever to request this (life has got me by the scruff of my neck like a kitten) but could I request super tailor au stute fluff? that or the night where Lute discovers that stan is a villain?

As a frame of reference for folks - on the Discord a bit ago we developed a new super AU that we dubbed the Super Tailor AU because it prominently featured Lute McGucket as a tailor with the superpower to control fabric and clothing, and he winds up working as a tailor, particularly for superheroes. Stan eventually becomes an employee of Lute's and they start a romantic relationship, but there's a slight problem: Stan's been a villain this whole time.

Hope you like it, nour!

———————————————————————————————————–

              Lute was awoken by a loud clutter from the kitchen.  He opened his eyes, but opted to remain in bed until he heard something else.  After all, it could just be the cat knocking things over again.

              “Fucking…shit…” Stan’s voice sounded faintly.  Lute groaned and sat up.  He threw his legs over the edge of the bed.

              Lord above, I love the man, but he’s awful fond of testin’ that love, ain’t he?  Wanderin’ home drunk at the witchin’ hour…  Lute’s phone, resting on the bedside table, buzzed.  He picked it up.  It was a text from Angie.

              I know you’re probably asleep, but wait’ll you see what Dan managed to do tonight!  He just got home and couldn’t stop bragging about how he gave Fleshmender what for.  The morning news is going to have a field day.  Lute sent back a thumbs up emoji, then got up and exited the bedroom.  His vision wasn’t great in the dark, but he knew his house well.  Even if he didn’t, he just needed to follow the sounds of Stan bumping into things and swearing.  At the kitchen, he turned on the light.  His jaw dropped.  Stan was partially dressed, but that wasn’t what shocked him.  No, what shocked him were the wounds on Stan’s body, the bruises on his face, and the costume he was in the process of taking off.

              “Uh…”  Stan let go of his costume to hold his hands up plaintively.  “I can explain.”

              “Yer…yer a mask?” Lute croaked.

              “…Surprise?”

              “I’d- I’m tempted to bring up how ya told me you’ve never considered bein’ a hero, but I know that costume.  That ain’t a hero’s costume.”  Lute pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Finish takin’ it off and sit at the table.”

              “Wh- where are you going?” Stan asked.  His words slurred slightly.  Lute winced.

              Sure hope he don’t have a concussion.

              “I’m grabbin’ the first aid kit.”

              “Oh.  Good- good idea,” Stan mumbled.  Lute exited the kitchen and made a beeline for the bathroom, his mind racing.

              Why didn’t I catch on to it sooner?  Without actually seein’ him standin’ in his costume in the kitchen?  Of course he’s Fleshmender!  Lute entered the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit underneath the sink.  Healin’ ain’t a common power.  How did I not connect the dots when I saw a villain with Stan’s power and body type throwin’ down with my sister and her team?

              When Lute came back to the kitchen, Stan was sitting at the table in only his boxers.  He watched Stan place a hand over a particularly large cut on his arm and close his eyes.  Lute waited for the shimmering light that accompanied Stan’s healing ability, but nothing happened.

              “Dammit,” Stan muttered.  Lute walked over to the table and sat next to his boyfriend.

              “I’ve never seen ya fail to heal yourself,” Lute remarked, opening up the first aid kit.

              “Happens when I use it too much,” Stan said with a shrug.  To Lute’s relief, he wasn’t slurring anymore.  “Gotta recharge or whatever, y’know?”

              No, I don’t.  Ya don’t talk ‘bout the mechanics behind yer power much.  We’ve been datin’ fer ages and ya still keep so much from me.

              “Well, I can at least patch ya up so’s ya stop bleedin’ all over the kitchen until yer charged enough to heal,” Lute said briskly, deciding to be as businesslike as possible to keep his mind from racing.  “Hold out yer arm.”  Stan did as he was told.  Lute got to work dabbing the cuts with disinfectant.  Stan let out a hiss.  “Somethin’ wrong?”

              “Is that supposed to hurt?  What even is that?” Stan asked.  Lute stared at him.

              “It’s- it’s hydrogen peroxide.  And yeah, it’s s’pposed to hurt.”

              “Why?”

              “Well, puttin’ things on open wounds usually hurts.”  Lute set down the cotton ball to frown at his boyfriend.  “Ya don’t know this?”

              “I haven’t run out of enough juice to heal myself since I was a teenager,” Stan replied.  “And since my power showed up, I’ve made sure I take care of cuts first.  Bruises can wait, bleeding can’t.”

              “When did yer power manifest?”

              “Ten.”

              “Yer almost thirty.”

              “And?”

              “You haven’t had a cut what didn’t heal right away in two decades?”

              “Yeah.”

              “Lord above,” Lute mumbled.  He began to bandage the largest of Stan’s cuts.  “I’d ask what exactly happened to put ya in a state where ya ‘ran out of juice’ just to heal yourself up this much, but I already know.”

              “You do?”

              “Got a text from Angie sayin’ her husband beat the tar out of Fleshmender.”  Lute glanced over at the costume laying on the floor.  “I might not be a mask like m’ sister, but I can recognize the outfit of one of her enemies.”

              “…Great,” Stan mumbled.  He pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Look, Lute-”

              “Why didn’t ya tell me?” Lute interrupted.

              “Why do you think, Gucket?  You literally make costumes for heroes!  Your twin sister and her husband are heroes!  You’re so wrapped up in the hero world, I-”  Stan looked away.  “I knew you’d break up with me the second you found out I fight for the baddies.”

              “Now, ya can’t know somethin’ like that fer sure,” Lute scolded.  Stan looked back at him.  “Ya never know fer a fact how someone will respond to somethin’, no matter how well ya know ‘em.”  Lute gently patted Stan’s arm.  “Yer other one now.”  Stan silently held out his other arm for Lute to treat.

              “Are you gonna turn me in?” Stan asked softly.  Lute shook his head.  “Really?”

              “Stanley, we’ll need to have a lot of conversations ‘bout this to figure out where we go from here,” Lute said tiredly.  “In the mornin’, of course.”

              “Yeah.”  Stan warily watched Lute.  “You’re waiting until after we talk to call the cops, then?”

              “No.  I ain’t a snitch.  Worst thing I can see resultin’ from our chats is us breakin’ up.”  Lute’s heart skipped a beat at the thought.  He heard Stan’s breath hitch in his throat and knew they both didn’t want that to happen.  “Best thing is that ya quit bein’ a mask or even join Angie’s hero team.”

              “Not in a million years,” Stan said under his breath.

              “I figure what’ll happen is somethin’ in the middle.  I don’t know fer sure, but that’s my prediction.”

              “Why are you being so damn calm?” Stan suddenly burst out.  Lute paused.  “You just found out I’m the same criminal that broke your twin sister’s nose last month!”

              “And when she came over fer me to repair her costume, ya healed it up fer her without her even askin’.”

              “All the girlfriends and boyfriends I’ve had before, their families hated me.  Yours actually likes me.  Sue me for wanting to keep it going.”

              “Sure, that’s the only reason ya did it,” Lute said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.  “Couldn’t have anything to do with ya actually likin’ her.”  He resumed tending to Stan’s wounds.  “To be honest, I’m not freakin’ out ‘cause it’s two in the mornin’.  Nothin’ good happens after two in the mornin’, so my goal is to get back to bed as soon as possible ‘fore I do somethin’ I regret.  And…”  Lute sighed.  “Stanley, I love ya.  I ain’t goin’ to lose my shit on ya when yer injured like this.  Ain’t right to kick someone while they’re down.”

              “I guess…”

              “Until we have our conversations and come to a decision together, though, I’ll request that ya stay away from my sister, her husband, and their daughter,” Lute said tartly.  “And ya can’t work on hero costumes in the shop.”

              “That’s fair.”

              “And yer sleepin’ on the couch.  Sorry.”

              “Honestly, when you showed up I thought I would be spending the night on the street.  I’ve got no problem taking the couch.”

              “Good.”  Lute gathered the debris from the various items in the first aid kit and tossed it into the trash.  He picked the kit up.  “Ya can go sleep now.  I’ll speak with ya in the mornin’.”  A pained look that had nothing to do with his injuries flashed across Stan’s face.  Lute knew just why.  They always kissed before bed.

              But I can’t kiss him.  Not now.  Lute left the kitchen, Stan still staring after him.  He dropped off the first aid kit in the bathroom and went back to the bedroom.  As he sat on the bed, his phone buzzed again.  He picked it up.  It was another text from Angie.

              You and Stan can still babysit Wendy today, right?  Lute’s chest ached.  He adored spending time with his niece, as did Stan.  The feeling was mutual; Wendy said constantly that Stan and Lute were her favorite uncles.  He replied with a heavy heart.

              No, sorry, something came up.  The response came back quickly.

              Oh.  OK.  I can ask someone else, then.  Another text made Lute’s phone squirm in his hands.  What are you doing up so late?  Go to bed!  Lute managed a weak smile.

              Only if you go to bed, too.

              Ugh.  Fine.  Night.

              Night.

              Lute set his phone back on the bedside table and laid down, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness.  Falling asleep without the white noise from Stan’s snoring was hard enough.  Falling asleep, knowing Stan was snoring in a whole other room, was somehow worse.

              Lute closed his eyes, but as he’d worried, sleep came slowly.

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

[c-rose2081]

Your next gen (is it called imperfect constellation?) au seems really cool. You’ve come up with some really interesting and unique powers for everyone and you really didn’t give anyone a gift that felt underwhelming in comparison to anyone else’s. Their gifts all seem a lot more double-edged than the original ones. It’ll be interesting to see the interactions between the og grandkids and the new ones too.

Is this post canon, or were they like, a healthy family.

Which of the grandkids is the biggest little shit?

If Marisa helps someone with a dream, would they know? Or does she just watch the dream, take that knowledge and help them in real life. Has she helped anyone in the family with nightmares, or does she find it like invasive or something?

Are rosa’s worlds all entirely made up by her? Would she be able to go to a fictional world she heard about? Would she be able to go to one she hasn’t heard about? And would she be able to bring anything back with her? She doesn’t seem like the type to, but it’d be funny if her room just had a bunch of random cool stuff. Like just a lightsaber lying around, and something from plants vs zombies in the corner and a tv that doesn’t work on the wall. Also, if that was possible, would Antonio be able to hang out with and take care of animals that aren’t real? Would isabela be able to recreate plants that aren’t real if she’s seen them?

Have you come up with rooms for everyone? It seems like it’d be kinda hard to make some for like, cassandría or destíne.

Would Dario be able to shift into fictional animals?

Does pasqual’s ability work on plants? If like, someone gave the family a hard time and Isa replicated that tying up thing in flightless, would he be able to save them?

I know this doesn’t have anything to do with the new kids, but would Camilo and Isabela have been nervous about not getting married? Like, I assume there wasn’t as much direct pressure on them to get married and have kids, but would they have still been a bit nervous to just be like, hey, uh, so about that marriage thing…

Anyways, sorry about all the questions, you’re really good at coming up with au’s. I’ve been keeping an eye on flightless and tainted and now there’s this one too. I don’t know how you managed to come up with three different au’s that are way better than anyone else’s takes on those ideas, but you’re, like, really good at this.

Haha thanks so much! I don’t mind a lot of questions :)

Imperfect Constellations is indeed the name of the AU. This is just to help me organize all my bits and pieces as I start to develop them, and so anyone interested can find them without having to go searching through a ‘next gen’ tag.

I really spent quite a bit of time on the kids different gifts, as I wanted them to be a blessing, but also be there to teach important lessons. Almost all of them can be considered a passive power, as none of them are quite as active or well controlled as something like Isabela’s. Now, onto your questions:

1.) Imperfect Constellations does indeed take place post-canon. The family is doing pretty well, but still has some issues, especially with a ton of new kids running around and coming of age at different times.

2.) Biggest little shit is Mariano Jr. (just Junior usually), Dolores’ youngest. Because of his powers he’s highly energetic and hard to control, and that results in a very ‘Camilo-on-steroids’ demeanor. There’s lots of pranks and picking on his siblings and cousins, running about the house in a whirlwind, and completely exhausting his family at every turn.

3.) Marisa’s powers are super invasive sometimes, and yes, she can 100% get into your head, mess around in there, and you might not even know it. She learned early though to be as transparent as possible with her powers as to avoid issues, so she usually makes herself known and doesn’t enter other peoples dreams without permission. She does indeed help with nightmares about the house; Rosa is a regular visitor to the dream chamber (aka Marisa’s room), as she has some nasty insomnia stemming from her previous life. Everyone in the house has had help with their dreams at least once.

4.) Rosa’s worlds are completely of her own making. She could try and come up with something based on description, but it would still be to her own preferences. Rosa is a pretty shy and introverted soul, and has had a lot of trauma in her past, so she uses her doors as a way to hide from the world. She usually can’t bring stuff with her, as the magic fades once she leaves the room/door. That changes depending on how much of her magic is seeping though when she becomes stressed or panicky when imagined things become more physical. Everything inside the room isn’t technically real, so the animals wouldn’t need to be tended, and the plants couldn’t be grown outside the door.

5.) I haven’t come up with ‘specific’ rooms. I have ideas though for bits and pieces. I know that Marcela’s room would be super open and airy, and let in a lot of natural sunlight. Martiza’s would be a jungle of plants like a greenhouse where she can experiment with her powers. Marisa’s room is dark with little natural light, and her ceiling projects the night sky. Rosa’s would change constantly so it would never have one specific look, and Leandro’s would be overflowing with musical instruments.

6.) Dario could shift into mythical creatures but may not have their abilities (he could transform into something that looks like a Phoenix, but can’t necessarily catch fire).

7.) Pasqual’s ability does not work on plants, as they are technically living things even if they aren’t necessarily the most sentient. He uses his powers mainly on objects to do his chores for him, or on oragami birds to make them fly.

8.) I’m sure there was a bit of worry there, but seeing as Alma really just cared about her familia’s happiness at the end there wasn’t as much tension. Especially with how many kids Dolores and Mariano ended up having XD plenty of new gifts to support the family for generations.

Thanks so much for your interest ✨✨✨ I loved answering all of these :)

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[nightlight-stardust-and-rain]

Hmmm... Soulmate au idea. Also it's a DC setting but the idea could be used for other setting obviously.

You're soulmates when the stardust you're made from comes from the same star. But stars are usually huge so there's never really only two soulmates. The least amount of soulmates there can be is four but it can go up to twenty (or at least that's what studies shows. Could be more). Those are called Soulgroups (very imaginative, I know, leave a comment if you have a better idea for a name. Edit : Birria (@mxbbadperson) said star cluster, which. YES ABSOLUTELY it sounds so good. Star cluster it is!) and are usually found family. Soul families... The bonds between each soulmate is the same kind of bond, it doesn't tells you if it's platonic, romantic, familial, it's a bond that's the same for everyone, you just feel that this person is going to be part of your life. It's up to you and your other soulmates to decide if your bond is platonic, romantic, etc, and it can change over time. Like normal relationships. It's not rare for people who are closely related (children and their parents, siblings...) to be soulmates but it's not the norm either (tho twins are almost always soulmates).

You never really know how big your star cluster is going to be, you can feel it when you meet them but you can't feel their absence. It's true that star clusters are never less than four, but statistically it's not that rare to go you whole life only meeting one or two of your soulmates. The world is big after all. Also sometimes your soulmates are aliens so you' ll never meet them (the discovery of aliens was big because it means that star clusters could be way bigger than we thought but you never met a lot of your soulmates cause they live on another planet). The soulmate bond snaps in place when you meet your soulmate and you can feel it when they die, but prior to meeting them there's no bond. Losing a soulmate isn't exactly painful but you definitely feel it.

Usually star clusters are all intertwined, as in everyone in the cluster is soulmate with everyone else, but it happens that someone has one of two soulmates that aren't soulmates with the rest of the group, or are soulmates with someone but not the rest of their cluster.

Also. Magic powers. When you're with your soulmates you have abilities. The more soulmates you have in the same place, the more powerful the abilities are. It's kind of abilities specific to each other but it differs. For example, when A and B are in close proximity, they have the power to fly for a little while. But if A and B and C are in close proximity, they have the power to heat up the air. And if it's A and C, they have the power to make plants grow a bit. It really changes with each... combination? The more people, the more powerful the ability, but also when there's more then 15 people using a combined ability it tends to be just a mass of power and not much more.

The less people are using abilities (like A and B) the more precise and specific the ability is (like having weak telekinesis but being able to be so precise with it that you can separate grains of sand and manipulate them individually) but it's not very powerful. The more people you add, the more powerful whatever ability you get is, but it also becomes way less subtle and precise. People on their own, without at least one of their soulmates, have no power at all (I mean. Unless they're a magic user or a metahuman or an alien but. You see my point).

So now I said this was a DC setting right? So I'm absolutely going to talk about my headcanons for the batfam for this au.

The Batfam, Supers, and Arrows are all a big ball of soulmate twine. As in everyone in there is everyone else's soulmate (Lois is included in the supers and Selina in the batfam btw).

Talia is soulmate with most of the batfam and the supers but not the arrows.

Kori is soulmate with about half of the batfam and the arrows but not the supers.

Jason is, amusingly enough, soulmate with most of the green lanterns and some of the other-colors lanterns, but none of the lanterns are soulmates to anyone else in the batfam. He's also soulmate to a few of the amazons, namely Diana, Artemis, Donna and Cassie (and Diana's mom but as they have never met they don't know that) who are themselves soulmates to a few of the arrows but not the others. Jason gets a lot of teasing for being the person with basically the most soul bonds on earth. Everyone laughed whne it turned up that Constantine and Jason were also soulmates because Jason tought that he didn't have any more soulmates and that's the main reason the batfam refuses to go in space.

Batman is disgruntled to be soulmates with Oliver Queen but can tolerate most of his family. Oliver thinks it's hilarious.

The point of soul clusters is that sometimes it's just funny how whole groups are soulmates. I just think it's funny. Because the Bats, Supers and Arrows all being soulmates also means that like.. Damian and Oliver are soulmates. Clark and Dinah are soulmates. Jason and Kon are soulmates. Lois and Lian are soulmates. Jon and Selina are soulmates. It's really ALL OF THEM.

(power level-wise, if the whole batfam used their shared ability at the same time they could probably destroy half of gotham very easily. If you put the arrows, Supers, Bats and assorted soumates like Kori, Talia and some lanterns together, they could probably destroy a good chunk if not the whole of America)

All of the batfam being soulmates gives me fuzzy feelings but also. I was thinking about the batfam refusing to go in space cause "have you seen how big our soulmate group is?? If we go in space this number will absolutely go way up and there's already too much" (and they're not WRONG because most soulmates groups are like. Six. Ten. Twenty at most. And then there's the batfam and their assorted soulmates. Especially Jason, he has so many of them)

Bruce only had Alfred as a soulmate when he was a kid (his parents weren't his soulmates so at least he didn't feel their bond snap when they died). And then he met Talia and Selina (not sure about the time-line? I have no idea when they meet). When he met the Graysons, he immediately soul bonded with all three of them only for Dick's parents to die right after. Not fun :( and then he met Jason and Tim and Cass and Steph and Clark and Oliver and Lois and Dinah and everyone else and damn. That's a lot of people.

Now I'm having fun thinking about what power each combination could have... Hm. Keep in mind that it only works when people are in close proximity, and also that some of the powers are so random that I just genuinely picked them to be useless.

I'm not... Gonna do every combination because it would take literal months but. Yeah.

I think Bruce and Alfred when in close proximity would have the ability to momentarily make all wounds disappear, but only for like 15min. It's not healing, only delaying so they have the time to get to an hospital or call a doctor.

Bruce and Selina have the ability to talk to cats when in close proximity. Not control them, only talk to and understand them. Selina thinks it's the most beautiful power she ever got. Bruce is begrudgingly amused and accepts to come over to Selina's house so she can talk to her cats.

Selina and Alfred aren't very often in close proximity but they have the ability to influence people's will a bit. Convince them. They use it exclusively to get Bruce and Tim to sleep or convince stubborn Bats to get some help for their wounds.

Bruce and Oliver together can have night vision which is nice but they already have that in their cowl/mask so yknow...

Bruce and Clark have the ability to cook perfectly when they're close. They don't use that power very much.

Bruce and Talia can become chameleon-like when close. Talia thinks it's delightfully stealthy, which bruce agrees with.

Talia and Alfred are almost never close enough to use their shared power but together they can control bats. They privately think it's absolutely hysterical even if they never get to use it.

Selina and Talia together can grow claws at will. Selina is delighted by the aesthetics of it and Talia thinks they're very efficient to slit some arteries.

Selina, Bruce, Alfred and Talia together can establish a telepathic link between them and up to 8 other people. Obviously they're pretty much never close enough for that, but still.

Dick and Bruce together can control ducks, which Dick finds absolutely hilarious because of how useless it is (didn't stop him from launching ducks at the riddler tho).

Dick and Alfred together can make people very sleepy with a touch, and oh boy do they use it to make Bruce and Tim go to sleep.

Dick and Selina when in close proximity can make strings come out of their fingertips, which they have yet to find a practical application to. It makes for pretty bracelets tho.

Dick and Jason are able to fly for an hour at most. It's kind of weak, they can't go super fast but boy do they love it. Flying is SO NICE.

Dick and Tim can make scales grow on their skin, which provides a small protection against blows or cuts. Lots of drake puns tho.

Dick and Kori can create strong bursts of wind.

Dick and Roy when close can become fireproof. Took a while to know about it, because it's not exactly easy to see. Causes their skin to become a bit metallic-looking, tho.

Clark and Dick together can make other people's eyes glow. It could be useful to detect enemies in the dark if Clark couldn't already detect those.

Clark, Dick and Bruce can make themselves and other people float. Not very high, but it's useful to move people and also useful for being stealthy. No footprints or footsteps noises if you're floating.

Jason and Tim can control fire, like pyrokinesis. They can't create it, but they can control it firebender-style. They both think it's pretty neat. They also use it to make fireshows at parties or for their friends, it's very pretty.

Bruce and Jason can talk to, not control, bats. Jason think it's the funniest thing ever and Bruce stubbornly refuses to use this power. Jason absolutely uses this power when they're in the batcave to train bats to respond to his commands. He Has Power Over The Bats, Fear Him. No joke tho, he really has trained the bats, and they respond to Jason's non-verbal signals even when Bruce is not there to use the bat-talking power. He launches them a Bruce when he's being a dumbass on purpose.

Similar to Talia's and Alfred's ability, when Jason, Talia and Alfred are together they can control by telekinesis anything that looks like a bat (bats themselves included) : drawings, carvings, batarangs... Batsuits. Talia and Jason are full of glee at this. And because Jason is a bad influence, Talia distracts Bruce while Jason gets a grip on the batsuits while Bruce's in it and makes him dance the polka alone. Alfred outwardly disapproves but you may see the curve of a smile of you look closely.

Alfred and Jason together can heat up liquids. Very useful for tea or hot chocolate. Also cooking. They spend a lot of time in the kitchen, using their ability to cook (it's under the guise of Jason learning how to control each ability but really it's just Alfred's excuse to spend time with his grandson).

Selina and Jason together can have an eightened sense of hearing or an eightened sense of smell. They can switch between the two but not have both at the same time. Sensory wise it can be a bit disconcerting but it's useful as hell.

Talia and Jason can feel each other's emotions and talk telepathically. It's useful for fighting together and also useful to communicate. Can't doubt someone's love for you if you can feel it.

Cass and Jason can talk privately. Like a muffliato in HP, if they use their power while talking to each other, no one else will understand what they say, nor can they read lips or hear it later on video. Totally private conversation, even with other people around (also works with sign language! If they use their power while signing no one else can understand). They can use that power with other people too, anyone who is included in the conversation will automatically understand what they say. But if Cass uses that power to talk privately with Steph, Jason will understand them because it's his power too even if he isn't part of the conversation, same for Cass when Jason uses the power with someone else. It's useful to communicate when they're on battlefields together, but they also use it to gossip right in front of everyone else's faces.

Damian and Jason can make drawings or painting come to life. Objects are easy (tho they can't do much bigger than, say, a table or a chair), food is weird because it is nutritional but tastes like paper, and living being are uuh. Hit or miss. It's to scale, which means that if one of them draws a key the size of a fingernail, using their power to take it out of the paper will only make a small, small key. Damian outwardly complains about how useless in combat this is, but inwardly he's very pleased, both because he's an artist and because it's nice to have a power that isn't about fighting or destruction, it shows that there's more to him than that. Jason just thinks it's neat :) when they go on missions together, they both have a pouch of folded papers with different drawings on them like knives, guns, lockpicks, grenades, smoke bombs, batarangs... It doesn't takes much space so it's actually useful.

Jason and Steph can see people's feelings like a colored aura around them. It's so much fun and boy oh boy it couldn't have happened to better people because they're the least emotionally repressed of the family and now that they can see everyone's true emotions they're making them deal with it. Batman's poker face can't save him from Jason's and Steph's ability.

Jason and Duke can manipulate dust. It's r e a l useful for cleaning but also more useful in combat than it looks because you wouldn't believe the amount of dust in gotham, and also it doesn't takes that much dust to make someone choke, and dust can also make a sort of smoke screen. So more useful than it looks. They both think it's pretty cool and dust is really underestimated.

Jason and Barbara can, when in close proximity, act as both sides of a magnet. One can attract stuff, the other can repel stuff. Not just metal, but stuff as a whole, even people. They can switch which one of them attracts and which one of them repels but they can't be both attract or both repel at the same time. They can't really attract or repel things that are too heavy but they're not really bothered by that. They think it's really neat and also use it to play pranks on Bruce.

Jason and Roy can teleport based on each other. I did not formulate that well but basically they can either teleport to where the other is or exchange places with each other. Obviously it's short distance since powers only work when you're close to each other but it's also pretty neat in combat, it's way easier to avoid someone shooting at you when you can teleport to your friend's side. Can also be used to surprise enemies! The range for "close enough to use powers" is usually a few meters but for some reason Jason's and Roy's range is a few meters more than that, which they aren't complaining about.

Jason and Oliver (even if they're never close enough to use it) can soundproof themselves. It's very slealthy.

(Jason and his mom were soulmates, too. They used to be able to materialize glowing flowers not unlike the green lantern constructs. When Hal heard about that, he used his ring to create a small field of glowing green flowers, which was not the same but remarquably similar. Jason maybe cried)

Bruce is outwardly very displeased by the fact that his son is soulmates with more than one lantern, but it's mainly fake because he appreciate the fact that if more people are emotionally invested in Jason's well being, there will be less chances of him being killed on the battlefield.

Jason and Hal together can make flowers grow anywhere. Pretty useless but it's one of Jason's favorite abilities because it reminds him very much of the power he shared with his mother.

Jason and Kyle can make galaxies appear. But galaxies as in, like, floating illusions around them. Like projections? This has zero abilities in combat except maybe distract enemies or make a sort of very weak smoke screen. Both Jason and Kyle are absolutely in love with this ability because 1) it's just really pretty and 2) fighting is pretty much their whole life, having an ability that makes something beautiful and utterly harmless is like..... It reminds them that there's more to them than just fighting. Also for Kyle space is associated to, well, conflicts and violence and it kinda soured his perception so seeing that space can still be beautiful... It feels nice. Every other ability is usually only used when you need them, but when Kyle and Jason are in the same room they are legally bound to use the ability as long as they are close enough to. If they can, they will. Literally you cannot get them in the same room without seeing galaxies across its ceiling and walls. They love this ability too much to not use it at every chance they get. No one really complains since, well, it's really pretty.

Guy and Jason can change the colors of things they touch, and oh boy you can bet that when they discovered that they used it to make the batsuit neon yellow. They almost never see each other but when they do it's prank time. The colors only lasts a few hours then disappear tho. Once they changed Hal's uniform to yellow and one lantern or two had a small heart attack. Turns out that you only need to deactivate the uniform then put it on again to make it green again.

Jon and Damian can talk to dogs together! Damian says that it's because Jon resembles dogs but he's just being a little shit, he loves being able to talk to Titus and Ace.

Cass and Steph, to Steph's endless delight, are able to make glitter appear out of thin air, in whatever color they choose. Steph's dream of throwing glitter to supervillains is suddenly much more easier to attain.

Diana was surprised that Jason was one of her soulmates - amazons usually don't have mortals soulmates due to, you know, the difference in longevity. But also Jason can be a godsdamn delight and she tought he was cute :) meanwhile, Robin Jason was kind of exploding inside because Wonder Woman is one of his soulmates!! Holy shit!! Their power when they're close is to be able to understand any written, spoken, signed, language. Kind of like all-speak in marvel? It's so very useful and also Diana absolutely talks to Jason in dead languages so they can gossip about thhe JL without anyone understanding.

Artemis and Jason are able to produce anesthetics by touch when they're together. As in, they can numb any area of the human body by touching it. Very useful for painkillers. Also to make ennemies' arms and legs numb because just try to fight like that.

Jason and Kori can see where people have touched things recently. Like... Like colored handprints. For example, if Dick puts a hand on someone's wrist, Jason and Kori will see a bright blue handprint appear on said wrist. Tim's computer is covered in blood-orange fingerprints. It's similar to paint in appearance. It's pretty, useful to know stuff, but also there are things they didn't need to know about some of their colleagues' sex lives (but oh boy the amount of blackmail they have on other people now).

Jason and Donna, when in close proximity can breathe fire. They both think it's really awesome not to mention badass-looking.

Jason and Constantine can summon stuff the other needs... Or wants. They're not clear on which one. Like, John needs this particular magic book to fight a demon but he doesn't have it rn? Boom, a book in Jason's hand. Jason needs to drink water? Boom, bottle of water in John's hands. One of them is injured but none of them has a... How it's called... Emergency kit? The stuff to patch up injuries. Well guess what, it pops up. It works with stated sentences they need to say "I need/want this thing" otherwise the other can't summon it. Works by proxy tho, if someone else needs a bottle of water, Jason and John can still summon a bottle of water if one of them says it to the other. They can't summon stuff that's too big ("too big" has been assessed as basically as tall as superman) and they can't summon people either (althought the people they've tried to summon have reported a feelings of pulling when they were trying to summon them). It's pretty useful even if they rarely get physically close enough to use it.

Okay so if you managed to not get bored this far PLEASE contribute to the post because there are so many other pairs... Triads... Groups... Etc who could have the most ridiculous powers but it don't really have the time to think about all of them (nor the motivation because not gonna lie I'm pretty Jason-focused) and I really WANT to hear your ideas about who would have which power (please gimme some ridiculous or useless powers. Controlling ducks was one of my best ideas, useless powers are the funniest)

[tlcwrites]

Two Hearts Make a Whole

Prompt: “Kiss me again, like you mean it.” Photo prompt below.

Summary: NYC Pride is for celebration, and occasionally, long-overdue revelations.

Word Count: 2,001

Tags/Content warnings: Marvel. Stucky. If you have a problem with it, there's the door. SFW. Slight TFATWS spoilers so read at your own risk. Platonic Reader. Two idiots in love. Technically canon-divergent because I'm still in my everyone-is-alive-and-in-this-timeline happy place that I will never ever leave fuck you very much Russo brothers but not AU. Found family. All the feels. Complete and total LGBTQ+ support. Lots of bad language words because #me. Un-beta'd.

Author’s Note: Okay so yes this is technically 4 weeks late for @autumnleaves1991-blog's Writer Wednesday weekly challenge. BUT, it was incredibly important to me to finish this one before Pride month is over. Made it by the skin of my teeth.

Happy Pride, y’all. If you’re out, you’re amazing. If you’re closeted, you’re amazing. However you identify is valid and important. Trans folx are LGBTQ+. Bisexuals are LGBTQ+. Ace folx are LGBTQ+. Anyone who identifies or thinks they may be as queer is LGBTQ+. All are welcome in the family. You have the right to choose your pronouns and we have the responsibility to use them. Live whatever your truth looks like to you and love each other. Love is love is love is love. If your family doesn’t accept you for you, I’m your mom now and I’ve got mom hugs available on demand. Homophobes and TERFS can fuck off and roll in poison ivy. Always punch Nazis. Pride shouldn't be limited to the month of June. And don’t you dare forget that Black and Brown trans women were the ones who rioted at Stonewall, and we owe everything to their bravery. Don’t forget that much of popular ‘gay’ culture was appropriated from Black women. And for more facts about Pride that you should absolutely know, Rawiyah Tariq (@ mammyisdead on Instagram) has a phenomenally good overview.

“Oh my god.” You gasp loudly. "Oh my GOD. Is that-"

“What?!” Instantly in First Avenger Protective Mode™️, Steve surveys the crowd, wishing he had an actual shield instead of the screen printed one on his shirt. “What is it?”

You gasp again, smacking Sam’s arm repeatedly. “OHMYGOD IT IS HOLY FUCK.”

“First; ow.” Now-Cap rubs his bicep. “Second; clue in the class before Steve has an aneurysm, please.”

Vibrating with excitement doesn’t begin to describe your current state. “HER ROYAL HIGHNESS MISS LEMON MERINGUE IS STANDING RIGHT FUCKING THERE.”

With the finesse of a shampoo commercial, Bucky's dark locks fly as he whips around. “What?!”

“RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE.” You abandon a relieved Sam and latch on to Bucky’s vibranium arm. “Oh my GOD I love her so fucking much.”

“She was robbed, absolutely fucking robbed,” he agrees, craning his neck to get a better view. “Divine Tension’s lip sync was shameful.”

Sam glances at Steve, who is slowly coming out of protector mode. “What the ever-loving hell are they talking about?”

“RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Nat flicks more confetti at both Cap-the-former and Cap-the-current. “They watch it every week.”

“Really, Steven, for a guy with enhanced super senses, you miss a lot.” Tony hefts a bedazzled Morgan higher on his back. The toddler, accompanied by Scott playing air-piano on the ground, sings along with the ABBA song being blasted at full volume through the street. Tony continues as if this is an everyday occurrence. “Why do you think both of your People disappear every Friday evening?”

Ears pink, Steve mumbles something.

“What?!” The only other one with hearing enhanced enough to hear a murmur over the cacophony of several thousand people belting out the chorus of ‘Dancing Queen’ at the top of their lungs, Bucky turns to stare at his friend. “You thought we were datin’?”

Steve’s blush extends down his neck.

You and Bucky stare at each other for a moment before you both collapse on each other, exploding into stomach clenching, thigh slapping laughter.

“I’m gonna guess that’s a ‘no’?” Clint confirms with Nat.

“Oh, a big ‘no’.” She watches affectionately as you and Bucky calm down enough to look at each other, breathe for a second, and both promptly dissolve into hysterics once more. “Like, the biggest ‘no’.”

Sam crossed his arms across his chest, his stoic stance so reminiscent of Steve it’s amusing (as well as a beautiful disparity to the sequined crop top he’s sporting. Oof, those abs.). “How do I not know about this?”

“Because you’re not a former super spy?” The usually-Black-but-today-Rainbow Widow tosses the last of her confetti at Tony, who spins a jubilant Morgan into it. “Or because you and that leggy barista from the lobby coffee shop are too busy playing hide-the-“

“-Baby Shark!” Morgan suddenly shrieks, flailing towards a guy on roller blades wearing a fin and tail (and not much else).

“Yeah,” Nat finishes with a smirk, “Hide-the-Baby Shark.”

Sam flips her a gesture that makes Clint laugh and Bruce sigh.

You and Bucky have finally managed to pull yourselves together. “Oh my god, Steven Grant,” you gasp, wiping tears from your eyes. “That’s the funniest fucking shit I’ve ever fucking heard.”

“Language!”

Steve glares at Tony. “One. Time. It was one. Time.”

Bucky slings his flesh arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Oh, punk. You may have perfect vision now, but sometimes you’re still as blind as you were before.”

Visiortn himself nods sagely. “Humans can be quite unperceptive when it comes to matters of the heart.” Vision casts a fond smile at Wanda, who is using her powers to make Pietro’s tinsel wig fly on and off. “Sometimes you have to look harder to see what’s right in front of your nose.”

A confused frown on that handsome face, Captain Clueless looks at Bucky. “Why do I feel like everyone else knows something that I don’t?”

His bestie sighs deeply. “Because, Stevie, almost everyone else on this planet knows that my tastes tend towards tall, blonde, blue-eyed knuckleheads who have zero sense of self-preservation.”

“And an ass you could bounce a quarter off of,” Scott helpfully supplies.

“And that,” Bucky agrees.

Steve frowns.

You press your palms to your eyes in vexation. “You, Steve. He’s talking about you.” (Seriously, how has this idiot survived for over a century while being so dumb?)

Whatever he was expecting, it was certainly not that. “He-“ The Man With A Plan gapes as he turns to his oldest friend. “You-“

“Me,” Bucky says gently.

Even though you’re slightly surprised that Bucky is going to do this in such a public forum, you can’t help but be so proud of your friend. It has taken a long time for Bucky to believe he deserves to be happy. There are days he still sinks into that dark place, where his inner demons whisper that he should have fought harder against his Hydra captors, and that his past actions were still somehow his fault. Those are the days no amount of baking or Modern Marvels will bring him out of his funk. You, Steve, Sam, and Nat have all held those strong shoulders as they shook with sobs, overwhelmed by the shame and horror at what his hands had done without his consent.

But he’s here. He’s free. And he’s smiling nervously at his best friend.

“I-” Steve is short-circuiting. “Me?!”

“Stevie.” With the kind of tender patience that can only be born of a lifetime of keeping (or attempting to keep) an idiot such as one Steven Grant Rogers from flinging himself headlong into every fight he comes across, Bucky moves his flesh hand to the back of Steve’s neck. His face is full of such soft affection that you almost want to look away for fear of intruding on this suddenly intimate moment. “What do you think ‘til the end of the line’ means, you idiot? You’ve been it for me since I was thirteen-years-old.”

Blue eyes are locked with blue eyes as Steve processes this revelation. “I-” He shakes his head as if to declutter his thoughts. “This whole time?”

“Since the first time I saw that asshole knock you down, and your scrawny ass climbed right back up.” A wry chuckle escapes as Bucky reminices. “You were ninety pounds soaking wet, and you stood there, against a guy who was three times your size, and never waivered for a second. It was magnificent.”

“I don’t like bullies,” is Steve’s quiet response.

Bucky’s grin is adoring. “I know, sweetheart.” He gently strokes the back of Steve’s neck with his thumb. “You’ve always had a heart way bigger than your brain.”

Steve is still back on the first part of Bucky’s admission. “If you’ve felt- if you-” He’s practically pleading. “Why didn’t you say anything then?”

Bucky shrugs, attempting and failing nonchalance. “It was a different time, you know?” He’s uncharacteristically unsure of himself, the subtle waiver in his voice revealing the anxiety born of a lifetime of being forced to hide his truth. “I mean, you remember how it was; you didn’t talk about, no one talked about- about being- about people like...” He swallows thickly.  “And I was so scared you didn’t, that you weren’t-” His voice breaks.

Even though you’ve all been emotionally invested in this love story for years, the entire team respectfully pretends not to listen as the former Winter Soldier quietly admits his deepest secret to his closest friend. It’s enraging as Bucky confesses yet another way he's been a victim of his circumstances, and denied his right to live freely without derision. Once more, you’re awed by his resilience.

“-it was a risk I couldn’t take,” Bucky finally gets out, that stubborn fire back in his eyes. “I couldn’t lose you, Steve. I couldn’t chance it. I could live with just being your friend and only your friend so long it meant you were in my life.”

Stunned silence meets the end of his confession. Steve’s face is impassive, those cerulean eyes uncharacteristically inscrutable.

You can all tell Bucky is heading steadily towards dread and heartbreak the longer Steve takes to respond. You and Sam exchange a look, both ready to intervene if Steve demonstrates any of the abhorrent attitudes that were so prevalent in the society of his youth. It would be completely out of character for him, but...

Finally, Steve speaks. “You’re telling me,” he says, his words slow and deliberate, “that you made me wait ninety-three years to tell me you’ve felt the same way about me as I have about you since the day you picked me up out of that alley?!”

The whole found family breaths a collective sigh of relief as Steve pulls Bucky even closer, broad chest to broad chest.

“Okay, to be fair, you were an ice cube for most of that time and I wasn’t exactly available for a relationship.” Bucky’s grin stands in contradiction to his mullish defense. “But yeah, that’s the gist of it.” There’s the Bucky you all know and love, biting his lip with those perfect white teeth. “Now, punk, I’d really like to kiss you now, but first I need you to say you want me to.”

“You-” Steve’s throat works as he attempts- and fails- to rein in his emotions. “You jerk.”

And then the Star Spangled Man seizes the president of the Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club by his ridiculously perfect face and crashes their mouths together.

At any Pride event, seeing two men kissing is, obviously, to be expected. But seeing The First Avenger and The White Wolf attempting to swallow each other’s tongues is not at all routine. As people realize what is happening, the crowd is whipped into a frenzy the likes of which is usually reserved for the aftermath of sporting events and elections that defeat fascists.

Watching the two men embrace, Scott sniffles loudly. “I’m gonna cry, I’m so happy.”

He’s certainly not the only one. Wanda has a watery smile as she wraps her arms around Vision and Pietro; Pepper, Tony, and Bruce are watching with fond parental energy; you and Sam sandwich Peter between the two of you, grins practically splitting your faces. Even Nat’s eyes look suspiciously shiny and she and Clint sling their arms around each other with platonic affection. And that’s not counting the several thousand people who are cheering for love being love being love being love.

When they finally break their embrace, the Centennial twins are startled to see they’ve collected quite an audience.

“Uh, so…” Suddenly bashful, Steve glances back to his- partner? Boyfriend? Soulmate? Is there a word that can accurately describe two people who have found each other time and again in a world that seems hell-bent on keeping them apart?- his ears practically maroon with embarrassment. For a guy with one of the most-recognized faces in the world, Steve is still incredibly and endearingly uncomfortable with attention. “Buck?”

Bucky seems just as stunned as Steve.

Thankfully, the masses demonstrate the usual support that’s the hallmark of Pride. “LOVE IS LOVE!” someone screams in the crowd. It’s quickly echoed, and chants fill the park.

The attention momentarily off them, the former Winter Soldier and his giant himbo of a soulmate look back at each other. You pretend not to watch through the happiest tears as they embrace again, bringing their foreheads together. The relief they share is palpable, as they’re finally able to show the world- and each other- the love they’ve each hidden for so long.

Bucky’s voice is so soft you have to strain to hear it. “You have no idea how much m’in love with you, Stevie.”

“Pretty sure I do,” Steve answers, bringing a hand up to carefully wipe the tears from Bucky’s face. “‘cause it’s as much as I love you, Buck.”

Bucky's answering grin can only be described as saucy. “Then kiss me again, like you mean it.”

And Steve, for once in his long life, does exactly as ordered.

---

A/N: “The Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club” is from Starry_Emerald173’s BRILLIANT The Avengers Wrangler over on AO3. If you haven’t read it yet, drop what you’re doing and do so immediately. Make sure you're not drinking any liquids, or your keyboard/phone may be in peril.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Hero Chat: Truth

Yeah I figured I should make a proper post for how this episode goes in this AU! Spoilers for both the episode and how it'll go down in the fic:

The Hero Chat version is obviously different. Not only do we have an identity reveal amd polyships, but the while Jagged is Luka's dad, Jagged is the only one who doesn't know about it. And that is the plot of this.

It starts the previous night during a Team Miraculous sleepover. Like usual, Fang has broken into Chloé's room but they're all chill.

Luka and someone(undecided who but it's irrelevant) stay up late discussing the whole "Jagged is very likely Luka"s dad" thing.

Fang is listening in and because he's a Familiar and a lot more intellegent than regular animals, he totally knows what's being said. And decides to be a fucking snitch.

Next day when everyone is home, Jagged goes to Chloé's room and interrogates her about the whole thing. And then a very upset Jagged drags her, Penny and Fang down to the Couffaine Houseboat.

Jagged and Anarka kiiinda get into a fight about the whole thing. Because damn it that is such a big thing to keep secret! Jagged had a kid all these years and had no idea! And yeah Anarka does admit that it was kind of a dick move but she felt like it would've been more of a dick move to halt Jagged's career or make him choose between the family or his music, and any kind of "working it out" would've just ended with Luka being raised in the spotlight his whole life and she didn't want that for her kid.

It was a fucked situation but damn it Jagged wishes she had just told him the truth about it because there's so much he missed out on.

Of course "Shadowmoth" has to ruin what was already a hot mess and Akumatize Jagged over it.

Jagged's Akuma Form is called Canary. It's a joke on the phrase "sing like a canary". His powers still revolve around forcing people to tell the truth and confess things.

He looks very... Interesting. No I don't have the effort to draw him. But imagine the DC character Black Canary(yes fishnets and all), plus accessories and such with yellow feather accents. And ramp up the Glam Rock Vibe.

Since Fang is Jagged's Familiar, he's transformed too(just like what happened with Guitar Villain). This time he's more of like a proto-bird dinosaur thing. Again, yellow feathers.

Jagged does get a Sentimonster too. I haven't thought of a name for it, but it is basically a sentient birdcage. Similar to the Canon Sentimonster Pharo, it traps people in place so that Canary can use his powers on them. It can only capture a maximum of two people if they're real close together though.

Two real interesting things about this Akuma that changes things.

Jagged already knows who all the Heroes are. Well he's not super familiar with all of them but he knows half of them and can assume the others are friends. So Canary has no interest in finding out what their identities are. Not that he lets slip to Hawkmoth.

Secondly, while Fang is effected by Jagged's Akumatization, he himself is not Akumatized. By defualt he will continue to work with Jagged, but it would be easy for one of the members of Team Miraculous to get control of him and convince him "hey, helping us is helping Jagged".

The fight is fun but honestly battle scenes are not my strong suit. But the Team all gets involved and manages to keep anyone who was hit from spilling real secrets by asking them other questions.

After the fight, Jagged and the Couffaines all sit down and discuss things about the whole situation. There's still a lot to unpack, but Jagged does want to get to properly know Luka. And while Juleka isn't his, he does want to know her as well.

[thebadchoicemachine]

found my old au and  picked some ones that still fit

Philza

He just fucking tosses people into the sky instead of being upset with them. Do anything he doesn’t like? SWOOSH. It’s to the point it’s not even a malicious thing, it’s just routine. He gets up, goes to the store, picks up some groceries, sends a person who cut in line to a void of dusk with swirling black clouds where you fall so long you can’t tell if you’re flying up or down or left or right, maybe gets some mints, goes home, puts groceries away, does the dishes, etc.

Tubbo

A Corruption Avatar (TW, Body Horror Surrounding Lungs, Swarming Insects, Implied Murder.)

He has bees in his lungs and he loves them very much. If he ever gets something stuck in his throat or has water go down the wrong pipe he will FEAK OUT. He often has to cough up honey (and sometimes bees). It’s... a process. He just sits over a bucket or jar and hacks his little heart out. He sometimes saves the honey and offers it to people. Amazingly, his friends never take him up on the offer. Unsuspecting people who don’t know the.. supernatural origin of the honey find they have some... unpleasant side effects. (Bees. The side effect is bees. Specifically ones trying to fly down their throat.) 

Oh well, being a part of a hive isn’t for everyone. The really unfortunate ones make good fertilizer for his flowers, though! 

His lungs are literally a hive. If you tried to listen to his heartbeat you’d hear buzzing. He will sometimes hold flowers over his open mouth to let the bees get some easy pollen. He doesn’t usually actively seek out “prey” but when he is trying to feed on that good old fear he’ll act super sweet, too sweet, and then open his mouth and let the bees fly out. It’s very creepy but to him it’s just funny. (Also, all of the bees have names and he has a funeral for every single one that get’s killed.)

Quackity

 A Stranger Avatar (TW, Unreality Depersonalization )

He mocks people as their own reflection, hopping from pond to mirror to camera to scream at them (sometimes literally) that they do not know who they are. It starts off subtle (Wasn’t your hair a bit longer? Weren’t your eyes a shade lighter? Did you always have that birthmark?”) but grows and changes until it gets to the point you stand in front of a mirror and every time you blink you look completely different. 

You feel your face, you look at your hands, but it’s no help. They change too fast. Your pictures change too, every single post on all your social media looks like different people posted it- wait... did you always have this platform? You don’t remember ever using it before. You have so many posts... none of them match up. You throw your phone away, noticing you never had the case on it. 

You turn to real photos for help but they are none. Of course not. You feel like just giving up as you shuffle through photo after photo, you don’t know what you really look like, so what? But then something catches your eye. A photo of you in the 5th grade concert. You don’t remember going to that school. You’ve never played an instrument, have you? Something screams yes and no at the same time. You throw the box down and grab your phone. You need to call someone. 

You pace throughout a house you recognize less and less searching for clues, reminders, as the phone rings. Your best friend answers. You throw the phone down again. You don’t have a best friend. You’ve never really been one for friends. No, that’s not true, you had a few really good ones but you’ve grown apart. No, that’s not true, you only have one real friend, your boyfriend. No, you don’t have a boyfriend, just a close friend. No, you have many friends just none that are close enough for this bullshit. 

You stop. No. No you don’t like swearing, do you? Do you? Who are you? Who are you? 

Your reflection laughs. 

Technoblade

1. A Hunt Avatar (TW, Stalking/Genocide)

Many people have suggested a slaughter avatar but I don’t get it. Yeah, he kills (blood for the blood god and all that) but I don’t see it. The Slaughter is about the moment. The unplanned snap. The sudden outbursts. I don’t see that in techno. You know what I DO see that also involves quite a bit of bloodlust? The chase. The planning, the target, the unstoppable dread and panic that overtakes his victims once they realize who is after them. The power. Calculated genocide of victim after victim. The HUNT. My two pain points of evidence: His potato war videos, that time he took over the world, and his stalking speech to Quackity. Go watch an animatic of Technoblade chasing down Quackity and tell me he is not a Hunt Avatar.

Wilbur

A Desolation Avatar (TW, Abuse/Torture)

Everything he touches burns and hurts. Sometimes it’s on purpose, sometimes on accident, but either way he’s caught up in enjoying the drama. I’m gonna be honest, my main inspiration was the Villainbur aesthetic but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. Look at nearly any of his 100 player videos; designed to create maximum pain for his enjoyment. Even the Dream SMP where he was mostly a good guy and more tragic than anything else fits. Maybe that Villain Arc was his first dabble as a willing avatar of destruction and pain. Even making his own father kill him could have been along the lines of “how can I milk as much despair out of this as possible.”

[skellebonez]

You like soulmate aus? 44 with a soulmate au where there are countdown timers for important events and if you concentrate you can see the lifespan of your romantic and platonic soulmates except immortals. MK realizes he can see Red Son's life countdown and he only has 1 year left

ANON I WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS WAS THE SADDEST PROMPT I HAVE EVER BEEN GIVEN AND I HAD TO TAKE IT OUT OF THE WAIT LIST TO FILL IT ASAP. Just. Damn. You came for my heart and crushed it. @kitkat1003 you helped make this sadder so I wanna make sure you see this.

WARNING: I mean, look at the prompt. It's gonna be a depressing read regardless. Read the tags for a major spoiler if you want to know about the end in advance.

The Lunar New Year special is mentioned in passing but NO SPOILERS.

Why are you still awake?

MK never made it a point to concentrate and look at his soulmate timers unless he really felt he had to, tempting as it may have been. Especially not their life countdown timers. The colors one saw differed from from viewer to viewer, some people even saw only one color in varying shades, and no one knew why the colors were chosen the way they were for each individual. But to MK the timers were a whole swath of colors.

It was easy with Mei, her platonic bond with his allowing him to see the bright green (green for all platonic bonds, not just Mei) countdowns to major events (some bad but usually good, like a major race being announced or taking part in a game tournament spontaneously). The familial blue bond he had with Pigsy and Tang went much the same, as well as Sandy's own platonic bond. He didn't learn that immortal beings had their own color, brilliant gold tinted in whatever the proper bond was until he met Sun Wukong, his gold-green timer slowly changing into a gold-blue bond of family found.

It wasn't until Red Son that MK realized his romantic bonds were a brilliant red (which, in retrospect, could have been seen as funny), shining brilliant and bright and almost blinding him when he caught sight of him properly from far above him (and it nearly made him fall before Wukong forced him to, the traitor). He'd mistaken it for some kind of antagonistic bond before he learned that that was also a type of platonic soulmate. So that was something he shoved deep deep deeeeeep down inside to think about later, especially since a lot of people now a days rarely went after their first romantic soulmate and instead waited for a platonic to change in time.

He never told anyone.

It also wasn't until he tested concentrating on timers with Wukong, for fun and out of sheer curiosity if he really was super immortal, that he realized that immortal's life countdown timer just looked like a mass of rapidly changing numbers screaming in confusion and he decided to never do that again.

Until... the Lunar New Year celebration.

He was curious, scared, and Red Son was there and he let his curiosity get the better of him. He wanted to see if Red was still immortal and if his timer did the same thing.

361 days, 17 hours, 8 minutes, and 42 seconds.

That couldn't have been right.

He tried again.

361 days, 17 hours, 7 minutes, and 30 seconds.

And again.

361 days, 16 hours, 56 minutes, and 45 seconds.

And one last time, after everything was over.

361 days, 12 hours, 1 minute, 29 seconds.

Red Son... had less than a year left to live. Red Son, The Boy Sage Prince, the one who almost defeated Sun Wukong on his journey and eternal thorn in his side... was going to die.

MK hadn't ever really imagined that he could die. He had believed that Red Son was immortal, and maybe he still was. There were ways to kill immortals who weren't all powerful Monkey Kings. But he'd always imagined that, maybe, eventually, they could possibly at least work things out and get to know each other eventually after what happened with WBS.

Now he was plagued with the thought 'what if I'm the one who kills him' and he couldn't handle that so he made up his mind then and there and before Red Son could leave he grabbed him by his jacket collar in front of everyone and changed that thought to 'fuck it' and kissed him and pulled away and looked DBK in the eye and announced "I've known Red is my romantic soulmate since day 1 and I am not wasting anymore time with stupid feuds".

Apparently that was just enough to startle the other man into not attacking and to send Sun Wukong into a frenzy of cackling "I KNEW IT"s.

Red Son turned as red as his jacket on his cheeks and just looked at MK in awe. They had-

361 days, 10 hours, 2 minutes, 16 seconds.

Red hadn't left his parents, not immediately, but the sudden relationship that have been revealed between the successor to the Monkey King and the son of the Demon Bull King had forced everything to a standstill. DBK wanted revenge, PIF wanted her husband to be happy, Sun Wukong wanted to be retired, and all three of them were too stubborn to not insist the two men court each other anyway because tradition dictated that when a romantic soulmate pair revealed their bond no one could force them apart.

352 days, 14 hours, 34 minutes, 18 seconds.

MK felt back constantly checking Red Son's timer, but he didn't want to waste a single second. They had less than a year. He'd seen just how smart and resourceful and, as much as he didn't want to admit it at first, protective and caring for the people he had grown close to he was.

By the end of the month they had moved into Red Son's apartment (he had an apartment?).

322 days, 2 hours, 28 minutes, 50 seconds.

MK learned that Red Son was a fantastic chef, on par with Pigsy even. His food was spicy but over time he learned that MK would suffer through food that was hurting him just to try his food and make it less so. Just for him.

315 days, 2 hours, 45 minutes, 34 seconds.

They kissed for the second time well after they had moved in together. Despite rushing into this they had both been too nervous and flustered to do more than hold hands and sleep side by side in different blankets.

They started sharing a blanket by month 2.

292 days, 8 hours, 1 minute, 12 seconds.

DBK was still pissed at Wukong. No one thought his grudge would ever fully disappear. But he and PIF had stopped attacking. For now. For their son. The best thing they had ever done for him was let him be with his soulmate without fighting.

MK never felt more guilty than when he realized he was never going to tell them. He tried once, after they moved in. After he had truly fallen in love with Red Son. He'd cried too hard to get the words out and PIF had looked torn between telling him to leave and comforting him before she put a shockingly gentle hand on his shoulder.

He could never tell them.

267 days, 18 hours, 59 minutes, 2 seconds.

Red got along amazingly well with Mei and Sandy. The three of them together were a mechanical nightmare for anyone on their bad side and the most amazing team for anyone they made anything for. Red was also the new favorite among Sandy's cats. No one was surprised.

He and Red ended up adopting a little one eyed kitten they found outside Pigsy's Noodles. They named her Bao-Bao. They loved her.

245 days, 7 hours, 29 minutes, 34 seconds.

Naturally nothing was going to be calm for the Monkie Kid. Eventually demons far and wide came to attack either him or the city. The only difference was that, now, he had Red Son by his side.

Every time Red took a hit MK felt no fear. He knew that would not be the hit that killed his soulmate. His soulmate had-

208 days, 19 hours, 78 minutes, 21 seconds.

Red and Tang were fast friends. Red and Mei and Sandy were faster. It had taken longer for Pigsy but he came around fast enough.

Sun Wukong, though. Even after 5 months he was still slightly tense and terse and short with Red. But he had been coming around, slowly. Just like with everyone else, Wukong was hard pressed to open up to anyone who wasn't MK.

They visited Flower Fruit Mountain from time to time, and it was one day when Red had wandered off to enjoy the scenery at MK and Wukong had heard the pained screech of a small monkey in the distance.

When they saw Red calming the little one down, tending to it's wound as best he could, MK saw Wukong properly smile at him for the first time. Soon they had-

157 days, 22 hours, 28 minutes, 59 seconds.

There were still fights. DBK and Sun Wukong didn't get along. But things were better.

There were family game nights. Red and Pigsy and Wukong cooked together. Bao-Bao had grown into a beautiful Tortoise Shell cat (with tortitude included). Everyone promised to try to get along and things were going well. Red Son and MK were truly in love, it seemed. At least MK was. He was certain Red was as well.

That's why MK asked him to marry him that night.

Red said yes.

140 days, 19 hours, 34 minutes, 34 seconds.

Was 7 months too fast? Yes. Did MK care? No. Did anyone object?

Only the demons that showed up to fight. They were taken care of quickly. DBK was not entirely happy about how fast things were but for his only son it seemed he would not allow anything to ruin the day.

He'd changed over the 7 months. Not entirely, not enough for MK to completely forgive him for everything since he had awoken. But seeing him punch a demon into the stratosphere for Red Son was a pretty good marker of how much he was trying.

6 days, 37 hours, 8 minutes, 12 seconds.

Everything was amazing for those few months together. They fought demons. They kissed. They spent time with their family. No longer two families but one family.

Then Macaque came back.

MK had thought he was gone for good, he had been so quiet. But apparently he was planning something the whole time.

Something to kill an immortal.

That was when MK learned he was immortal. And wasn't that ironic?

Macaque had meant to stab him. MK didn't move in time.

Red Son jumped in front of him and there was red.

Macaque wasn't seen again after what MK did to him.

They bandaged the small wound in Red Son's shoulder. They would find a way to fix this. They had to. MK knew what would kill Red Son now, it wasn't that he wasn't immortal it was whatever poison had been meant for him. He knew people had beaten death clocks before.

He had to try.

5 days, 12 hours, 29 minutes, 56 seconds.

5 days, 12 hours, 29 minutes, 55 seconds.

5 days, 12 hours,. 29 minutes, 54 seconds.

That was what MK saw when Red Son coughed up blood for the first time.

4 days, 1 hour, 12 minutes, 13 seconds.

Sun Wukong found out where Macaque had gotten the poison.

There was no cure.

Red coughed more red and MK screamed at the Monkey King to look again. Do something. Anything. Anything...

They didn't see him or DBK for over 2 days.

1 day, 17 hours, 34 minutes, 14 seconds.

1 day, 17 hours, 34 minutes, 13 seconds.

MK watched the countdown timer tick down.

"Why are you still awake?" Red Son had asked him as he held his head in his lap.

"I don't want to miss any more seconds with you," MK answered softly.

"Am I going to... die?" Red Son asked softly.

"Not if Monkey King does what I know he can do," MK answered again. "I know he'll be back soon. I know it. I-"

"MK! MK I'M BACK!" Sun Wukong yelled through the apartment, bursting into their room looking disheveled and like he hadn't stopped moving since he left. But smiling. DBK looked much the same as he came through the door behind him.

"I think we found something!"

1 day, 17 hours, 32 minutes, 2 seconds.

MK prayed that Sun Wukong was right. He was Sun Wukong. He had to be.

1 day, 17 hours, 32 minutes... 3 seconds.

[guynamedultimax]

What if Kirby had a traditional fighting game?

Listen, I know I should’ve done more “FNF fighting game characters” but i doubt anyone cared for that, and even then I lost a bit of interest, so if you actually cared sorry about that, you can still come up with whatever you want for the characters I didn’t talk about!

That being said, I think all Kirby fans here know Kirby Fighters 2. Personally speaking most of it was just the same as Kirby Fighters Deluxe BUT there were five playable Dream Friends. FIVE. Priority to the Copy Abilities a bit too high, isn’t it HAL? Sometimes it feels a bit barebones if you ask me. So I’m here to discuss what would a non-platform Kirby fighting game be.

THE GAMEPLAY

It’s the same as any basic fighting game, there isn’t really that much that the Kirby franchise can offer to make the genre a bit more varied, and that’s mostly due to the fact that Kirby makes friends wherever he goes and combat is pretty much straightforward in these platforming games, the crazy stuff comes from learning specific moves with each copy ability/character in the games and that’s also true for this game.

THE PLOT

I have quite a few ideas for how this can go:

-It’s a “what if” re-telling of Kirby Star Allies where Hyness’ ritual (somehow) also causes space-time rifts across the entire universe to be generated, pulling in Kirby villains from previous games but also allies, which would ALSO explain Dream Friends in the game’s canon a bit more properly.

-It happens in an AU. Plot would basically be Kirby Battle Royale’s but instead of shooting a loadshit of Kirbies onto Kirby, Dedede would just call upon all of their friends to fight for that cake before things escalate and Dedede loses control of the tournament to greater evils, forcing him to work with Kirby to stop the threat, be it old or new.

-Another AU idea but this time it’s original/based on Milky Way Wishes. Galactic NOVA appears every thousand years above Pop Star’s skies, and everyone tries to fight for the right to get the wish. Villain wouldn’t necessarily be ONLY Marx though, most of the Kirby villains could easily win against him if they get to NOVA and get their wish granted. Which means yes, all plots happen at once and Kirby has to deal with everyone at once.

-The least interesting idea: it’s Kirby Fighters 2′s plot but without tag team duos and with all Kirbies replaced with the roster.

THE ROSTER

Now we’re about to have some fun.

RETURNING CHARACTERS: The Dream Friends (and Kirby, of course)

-First up, all Dream Friends are coming back. You don’t even need to change their movesets that much, just add/tweak things, but just for funsies (and for a specific reason too) we’ll also give them specific copy abilities or more than one to categorize them.

-Kirby is the specific reason. He has the same moveset as his Smash Bros incarnation, although he incorporates more copy abilities (and also super powerful stuff like the Star Rod that he usually uses in endgame fights) in it now due to being a traditional fighting game. And yes, he still has his inhale. Using it will have the inhale be replaced by another move in-game, the closest one to a “neutral special” in the opponent’s arsenal. His copy ability is therefore, Smash Bros. And since the game has multiple super moves, we can make his gimmicks from the Kumazaki games the super moves: his level 1 would be a random Super Copy Ability from Return to Dreamland (cutscene is random everytime but damage is always the same), his level 2 would be using the Robobot Armor to stomp foes around, ending with a giant ground pound/fist to the ground and his level 3 is Hypernova Kirby due to the inhale being one of his most unique properties.

-Meta Knight and Dedede will also have heavy Smash influences but they’ll also use techniques from most of their boss fights, such as Meta Knight splitting himself in four clones temporarily for an attack or Dedede actually pulling out an axe instead of his hammer for some attacks based on his Triple Deluxe incarnation. Their copy abilities would formally be Sword and Hammer but with heavy Smash Bros inspiration. Meta can also call in for the Meta Knights to help him in one of his unique super moves. They’d all be there except for Sailor Dee and Captain Vul (one’s an alternate costume and the other is never seen outside of dialogue text).

-Bandana Waddle Dee’s moveset incorporates both Spear and Parasol, but due to the Spear being his most used tool he’ll be categorized with that.

-Marx is the first character with Unique as its own copy ability due to his arsenal being entirely based on his boss fight. Inhaling Unique characters doesn’t always allow Kirby to get copy abilities but when it happens he usually has their most basic move replacing the inhale. Gooey is in the same situation, but i have no idea what would Kirby get from him as an ability since he’s technically player 2 in the Dark Matter trilogy’s first 2 games. Rick, Kine and Coo would technically be categorized as Unique only because they have Fire, Water and Wind in their moveset. You could say they’d be stance characters while Marx is a zoner and Gooey a rushdown character.

-Dark Meta Knight is categorized as Mirror, and Adeleine (with Ribbon as an assist of course) is Artist. Daroach would be Animal, which is missing since its debut in Squeak Squad, as far as I can remember, but he naturally still retains his moveset of calling the Squeaks to help him.

-It’s pretty easy to categorize Magolor as ESP, and Taranza as Spider, while I have no idea what would Susie’s ability be even. Spark? She is mostly around in the Robobot Armor to be fair. The Three Mage-Sisters would be treated equally to the Animal Friends

THE NEWCOMERS

-NAGO, CHUCHU & PITCH: The other set of Animal Friends. I theorize a moveset revolving around the Cleaning ability like in Star Allies would be easy to make, although it can also incorporate moves from other abilities that have been in Dream Land 3.

-CHEF KAWASAKI: I think it’s safe to say this one is pretty easy to do just like the returning Dream Friends. He has a unique moveset in comparison to Chef Kirby that also has him use Kirby’s Final Smash from Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

-LOLOLO & LALALA: Aside from pushing boxes and Gordos they can be the Ice Climbers of the game, and most importantly one of their super moves could have them fuse into their original form in the anime to reference that further.

-SHADOW KIRBY: A clone (in terms of moveset) for Kirby that lacks the inhale ability and has more attacks based on his appearances in Amazing Mirror (and also on Kirby’s unique ability to split in four in these games) and the Kirby Fighters spinoffs. Simple as it is.

-THE MIDBOSSES: They all play the same as their fights too, so doing a paragraph for each of them would be a bit redundant. I chose to add minibosses in because most of them are pretty iconic among Kirby enemies and some of them are also technically friends of Kirby’s. I picked Bonkers (whose coconut throwing and some special moves could make him different enough from Dedede if you ask me), Mr. Frosty (also because we don’t have an Ice-based character in the game), Buggzy (which I can see being the ultimate grappler), King Doo (because we don’t actually have a Waddle Doo in the roster and he’s technically not only their king but also the most unique of them) and Grand Wheelie (look, I like Wheel as an ability ok? it’s like playing as Sonic in a Kirby game)

-KNUCKLE JOE: Taking stuff from both his Star Allies moveset and his Assist Trophy from Ultimate PLUS a few references to the anime and you have the ultimate Shoto character in the Kirby franchise. Ryu mains, this is the character for you.

-GIM: Look, my three favorite abilities are Yo-Yo, Wheel and ESP, in no particular order, so I HAD to include him and the Grand Wheelie. Magolor covers for ESP enough. This lil fella looks more unique than most of the generic Kirby enemies and even among the copy ability ones he’s always been a bit of an oddball due to being a robot. The trickshots you can do with this copy ability make Gim perfect to camp, so he’d be a pretty good zoner as well.

-TAC: He’s been a Helper in Super Star where he also has an unique moveset. Expanding on it and on Tac being generally a copy ability thief could mean more copy abilities can be implemented in a moveset, probably even more than what Kirby can do. Also his design just screams potential to me.

DLC FIGHTERS

WAVE 1: Spinoff Dream Friends

Cuz these guys have been done dirty by Star Allies’ devs. Elline would be the other Artist character in the game and call for Claycia’s assistance in specific attacks. Prince Fluff would play mostly just like Kirby himself did in Kirby’s Epic Yarn and implement specific transformations in some attacks, ending with the tank one from the end of that game. Then we have Gryll. If you know how to make a Tetris/Puyo Puyo based character in a fighting game then good for you, I absolutely don’t know how. What I KNOW however is that she has a float like Peach’s in Smash Bros and I-No’s in Guilty Gear.

WAVE 2: Dream Villains

These guys would all play exactly like their boss fights. Hyness and Sectonia would remain mostly unchanged while Haltmann in terms of moveset is the same as Susie, just without every non-Robobot move that she has.

WAVE 3: Clash of Blades

THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S ALL ANIME SWORDFIGHTERS. They all pull from their boss fights, but Morpho Knight is gonna be a bit more unique compared to Galacta, Dark Meta and Meta Knight, having in the swordfighter equivalent of Akuma’s Raging Demon. Meanwhile, Dark Matter Swordsman and Galacta Knight are completely faithful to the source material, but they’d probably be a bit nerfed due to Galacta’s universe-breaking powers. (you can bet that if we get the remaining legendary heroes who sealed Void Termina in future games they’d be their own separate Wave 5 DLC pack)

WAVE 4: Revival of Old Faces

Nightmare and Drawcia are back and they’re here to stay! Their movesets don’t really need that much changes. Void however is an entirely different beast. He’d be a mix of Kirby, both Zero incarnations and Dark Matter. His design wouldn’t just be giant orb that switches between Kirby and Dark Matter faces, he’d be Kirby-sized and with legs and stubby lil arms like the pink puffball. And you can bet your ass he’d be broken as fuck.

SKINS

If a character’s appearance changed across the series’ history (like Marx Soul, Girl Blob Gooey, Shoppe Magolor, Mecha Knight, Dark Taranza/Taranza in the Super Kirby Clash games, Masked/Shadow Dedede, Anime!Knuckle Joe, Parallel/Pres. Parallel Susie, EX versions and so on) they’d just be an alternate skin/palette swap for the specific character. Multiple characters of the same species with little changes (like a normal Waddle Dee or Sailor Dee, or literally all Kirby colors including Keeby) are the same. I’m also debating on how Dark Mind would be a skin for Nightmare or if there’d be a skin inspired by him for the Dark Matter Swordsman. Zero and Zero Two would probably be turned into palette swaps/outfits for Void (imagine a white Kirby cosplaying as Zero Two that’d be so cute lol).

ATTACKING ASSIST CHARACTERS

Characters who appear in other characters’ attacks. Like the aforementioned Squeaks, Meta Knights and Claycia. Normal Dark Matter would appear in DM Swordsman’s attacks in some capacity outside of the eye laser and the Gordo Throw would return from Dedede’s previous Smash incarnations alongside the Waddle Dee Throw from Brawl. And naturally Magolor can call in the Lor Starcutter for one of his super moves. I am actually considering giving Tac the ability to throw random items/enemies at opponents, with the Bomber being one of these. It’d be a very RNG attack with the Bomber being the best outcome, blowing on the opponent’s face.

HELPERS

All characters in the game can be called on for an Helper attack, that can help you in some form against the opponent by either damaging or tampering with the opponent or by having you get healed or with some buff. Outside from the playable roster enemies that give you copy abilities would also be Helpers, but the specific ones I’m not so sure on.

BOSSES

Characters you can fight in Arcade mode, in Story mode or in a specific Boss mode. There’d also be a Ganon’s Fury (Hyrule Warriors) inspired mode where you’d play as the bosses pitting them against each other. I specifically picked Dyna Blade, Whispy Woods, Landia, Star Dream, Kracko, Great Edge, Pyribbit, Ice Dragon, Fire Lion, Masher, Grand Mam, Metal General, Kibble Blade and Pon & Con.

STAGES

There’d be quite a lot of stages, but I haven’t thought out specific ones except for Green Greens, Butter Building, a Ripple Star stage, one for Dedede’s castle with stage cameos by Tiff, Tuff and Escargoon from the anime and every final boss’s fighting arena.

THE MUSIC

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is gonna be nothing compared to this one. We’re getting all the important music from all pre-Kumazaki games, all music from Kumazaki games and spinoffs, and online arrangements with focus on orchestral (Desolo Zantas), metal (GaMetal, of course) and EDM (Acid Notation, Qumu and various others), including stuff like Itoki Hana’s vocal arrangements. We’re going all out on this one.

Aaaaand that’s it. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Stay hydrated.

[tarantulas4davey]

HELLO BESTIE I am currently having Ralbert Brainrot and you're the best person go come to for this, obviously,, so PLEASE share! I would like to hear about ufc albert or youtuber race, or dancing partners!! I love them smm

HI YES HELLO USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO WRITE UFC FIGHTER AL PART 2 THANKS BABES

i just witnessed a literal crime and i’m Feeling The Rage (boxing judges at mma events can catch these hands) so here is. my brain on anger.

also the first half of this is pretty fight-talk heavy but the second half is more al/ralbert central so message me/send me an ask if i don’t explain something well enough <3

here is the ask i sent to @we-are-inevitable (thanks jac i’m in love with you mwah) and here is part 1 for this au if you haven’t read that one yet !!

also,,,,, this is fairly obvious. but trigger warning for violence/physical fighting, as well as blood. (it’s a rough gig y’all fjdhdb) oh and swearing but that’s pretty much just me LMAO

here i am, bein mad and writing ralbert. therapy time with chandler ig

OK SO

this is after his debut. duh. continuation

i think he’s probably 5 fights in with 5 wins. he’s been running people through, especially with four full camps after a short notice start, and he’s never even seen a decision in the ufc

let’s just say the hype train is moving FAST and it’s moving LOUD

everyone has to have those people that watch their fights just to see them lose, on top of the majority male fan base that have to have a little bit of toxic masculinity and homophobia in there

so there’s A LOT of people that are waiting for him and his hype train to get derailed. but there’s also a fair amount of fans, so you win some you lose some (the way i would die to see this be a real fighter pls)

now albert’s not always the most confident guy, and he’s never been cocky, but none of this shit gets to him. he’s got his coaches, he’s got his friends and he’s got race behind him. he knows he’s got the skills, and he’s got his support system, so who gives a shit what a bunch of cowards on the internet have to say?

and then they put him against someone known for his grappling and stamina. and the “it’s a wrap for dasilva!” bandwagon starts. it happens every time a rising striker and early knockout artist fights a well known grappler with any semblance of later round power (even if al has a background in wrestling and has gone 5 rounds and won outside of the ufc. it’s a bandwagon for a reason)

and it’s not Upsetting, it’s not really getting into his head in any way that’ll make him do worse, but it’s kinda pissing him off. which is bad for his opponent

the last person on earth you want to be fighting is an annoyed albert dasilva who thinks he has something to prove

he works his ass off in camp, and the press tour is a self-assured albert vs. a loudmouth who thinks he’s hot shit cause a few people on twitter think he’ll sweep

and, to be completely honest? it’s starting to look that way 2 rounds in.

it’s a 5 round fight, co-main event on a big card, and so far all al’s opponent has done is pinned him to the cage and kept him there. a few strikes worth anything - at least enough make al’s cheek bleed, no takedowns, which would at least give him some activity, and so submission attempts, so he can’t even gain any ground that way. he’s just- Stuck. and if THIS is how he loses, he’s gonna be pissed

the bell for the second round sounds, and you can actually see al’s chest heaving on camera as he walks to his corner - not because he’s tired or out of breath, but because he’s MAD, and fuck if he’s not going to do something about it

not only that, but he can not only see race and jack standing up by the cage - plus race’s expression, which is slightly annoyed and super anxious, which hurts his chest to think about - but he can hear them too

jack is yelling profanities, as per usual. he doesn’t that regardless of how the fight is going, but it’s less encouraging when you’re the one losing.

race though,,,, race isn’t really yelling, he’s more talking to himself than anything, but he’s close enough to cage and al knows him well enough to figure out what he’s saying. and if the muttered almost-prayers while he paces back and forth weren’t enough, the shiny gold engagement ring on race’s hand definitely is

round 3,,,, let’s just say it goes a little differently than the first 2 had gone.

he opens with a spinning back kick, of all fucking things, and that truly sets the pace

he’s the taller guy by a few inches, like usual, which makes his arms longer. the only reason crushing his against the cage worked is cause the guy he’s fighting cuts weight like a wrestler, so he’s easily got 20 pounds on albert come fight night

but once he finds his rhythm and starts throwing, he starts connecting too. he manages to stay out of range of his opponent and stay his comfortable distance to start t-ing off

this isn’t a one punch power ending. this isn’t a beautiful head kick, or a giant knee, or even just a clean right hook.

this is albert, who’s arms are starting to feel the 3rd round a little bit, hitting this guy with everything he has cause he refuses to lose this fight.

i mean- everyone watched him get up at the start of the round with a set jaw and a scary determined glint in his eye. he’s not a person you fuck with, and he’s definitely not a person you publicly ridicule before being locked in a cage to fight with

the guy he’s fighting is absolutely battered, but he manages to survive until round 4. the first of the championship rounds, something al’s never seen in a ufc fight before, and it feels like the arena is holding its breath

so when al comes out and does the same thing as round 3 to better results - fight ending results - everyone’s a little shocked, honestly

the commentary team’s in disbelief, cause albert is NOT a slow starter, regardless of what this fight would tell you, and the fact he managed a win at all, let alone such a phenomenal one, is fucking astounding

he gets his hand raised, obviously, but the really interesting part is the post fight interview

“albert, man, what changed between round 2 and 3? what second gear did you find?”

“bro, i just— it was pissing me off, honestly. i don’t come in here to get pinned down for 25 minutes. and, y’know, my team gave me good advice. i had all the pieces, straight from the jump, someone just had to force me to put them in place…”

and then he looks over at race, who gives al one of those half grin, half smirks and winks at him, and al just chuckles to himself and finishes answering the question

“the thing that really forced my hand is race. i won’t get cheesy on you, but watching someone who loves and supports you through everything panic cause he’s scared for you - it’s a big motivator. everyone would figure out a lot more of my motivations if they went and watched race’s expressions back instead of whatever the hell i’m doing in here. he’s always been the brains, i’m just the brawn.”

and that’s a better answer than anyone was expecting, plus he’s just had the fight of a lifetime that’s probably earned him a title shot, so he’s done soon after that and gets to have his little in-cage celebration

he hugs his team and jack, who razzes him a little bit as per usual, and makes some dumb quip about going over tapes later like he’s a coach. and then comes race

he hugs him, all tender and cute and also very sweaty cause That’s How It Works, and the camera’s focused on him, so they can tell they’re whispering back and forth. but there’s no mics on them, so what’s said is missed entirely on the audience, but it’s their usual cheesy, in love mess

“congrats, baby. i’m proud of you.”

“oh please. it was 90% you anyway. i meant what i said, it wasn’t just for the cameras.”

“i know that. i’m gonna have to get you back somehow for telling everyone to go back and watch my awful anxious expression. i’ll think of something.”

“i’m sure you will, sweetheart.”

and then al does that awful, adorable lil nose bump thing, and then kisses race. and then jack covers his eyes and whines until they stop like the actual 12 year old boy he is inside

and then they leave the octagon, race and al holding hands, and al throws his arm over jack’s shoulder and shoves his head down and pushes him, cause even though he was just in a literal cage match he’s still a roughhousing teenager at heart

and he’s got interviews and press shit that separates him from his people, and he’s gotta slide that bulletproof mask back down over all the happy and in love shit he’s feeling so he can not smile like an idiot on camera constantly

but every once in awhile he’ll catch jack giving him the finger and laugh before returning it below view of the camera

or he’ll catch race’s eye from where he’s standing behind all the studio lights and do a little wave under the camera and return the wink from earlier, and the unbothered fighter facade will crack a little bit

but he’s not completely convinced that’s such a bad thing

GOD THIS POST IS SO MUCH LONGER THEN I MEANT IT TO BE IM SORRY

but Yeah. Them.

i love this au a helleva lot more than i should but that’s Fine cause i’ve got thoughts for days on it

[darling-i-read-it]

Su-Zakana

2x08 

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 3.6k 

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, mental health problems, insinuations to smut, murder, dead bodies, manipulation 

Author’s Note: This took so long and it is super long and I am very tired but I really hope you guys enjoy!!!

I used some direct quotes from the script so some things may seem familiar 

Official Episode Summary :Will helps investigate the case of a woman's body found inside of a horse; Alana worries about Will's intentions toward Hannibal; Will and Hannibal rush to protect a witness they believe to be in danger.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

Tag List (is always open!) : @llperfectsymmetryll​ @ericacactus​ @vlightning95​

(not my gif) (this was one of those episodes where i’m like WILL IS PRETTY ALL GIFS OF WILL) 

“Where are you off to?” you asked, looking up at Will. You were amazed at how compused he had been since arriving back from jail. You weren’t going to lie, it was attractive. But also semi worrying. Ever since he had sent someone to kill Hannibal he had been this way. Maybe it was just because he was more sure of himself now. Either way, you liked this Will more than the one who seemed to be breaking at every touch.

“Fishing.”

“It’s snowing,” you pointed out.

“Ice fishing.” 

“Are you going alone? Should I come?” 

“No, I’m going with Jack.” You scoffed and Will smiled. It was nice to see some things would never change and your distaste for Jack Crawford was one of those things.

“Alright, have fun then. Be safe!” 

“I’m a good fisher Y/N,” Will promised. You shrugged.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t tell you to be safe.”

-

You sat at Hannibal’s dinner table. It was odd to be back here. Sitting beside Will, across from Jack, near Hannibal. It reminded you of the times before your boyfriend was wrongly put in jail but then again, mostly everything did these days.

Hannibal placed the fish down on the table and you were happy to see the pieces of it and know Will had caught it.

“Truite saumonee au bleau with vegetables and broth, served with hollandaise sauce on the side. Beautiful fish Will,” Hannibal started to dish up each plate and place them in front of everyone. Will gave a strained smile.

“It was my turn to provide the meat,” he quipped and you chuckled a bit at that. Jack gave you a look but you couldn’t care less what he thought.

‘More flavorful and firm than farmed specimens. I find the trout to be a very Nietzsche-an fish. Trials of hsi wild existence find their way into the flavor of the flesh.” Hannibal sat down. “I hope ‘providing the meat’ doesn’t mean you still harbor doubts about what I serve at my table.” 

“No doubts, Dr. Lecter. Only the wounds ew dealt to each other before we got to the truth,” Jack explained. 

“Speak for yourself Jack,” you said, cutting harshly into the fish on your plate. Hannibal had to admit how distinguished you and Will looked beside each other once more. Like all was right in the world. 

“Which is why we need to move past apologies and forgiveness. Chilton has many victims besides the dead,” Hannibal countered. “We will absorb this experience and it will change us. We are all Nietzsche-ian fish in that regard.” 

“Makes us tastier,” Will said and you couldn’t help but smile. Funnier then he had been before. Hannibal and you shared a secret glance. 

“None of our actions were personal,” Jack said.

“I tried to have Hannibal killed. Isn’t personal?” Will inquired. You wanted to tell him that he was on fire tonight but bit your tongue. 

“No because you did not succeed,” you said, pointing a fork at Hannibal. “Clearly.”

“You thought I was a killer,” Hannibal said.

“I don’t blame Miriam Lass for shooting Frederick Chilton. I wanted to kill him myself.” Jack looked away from the three of you. The situation itself was so odd to him. He didn’t understand where you stood with the boys and how the boys stood with themselves. 

“Greatest crime now would be to walk away from what we’ve shared and suffered. In many ways, we need each other. We’re the only ones who will know what this feels like,” Hannibal said simply. Will took a bite of the dish.

“This fish is delicious.” 

You snuck a smile

-

Jack got up and left before you and Will. You glanced out the window behind where Hannibal usually sat. It was snowing steadily. You heard the door shut, Jack had been gone. You turned back, your hair falling on your back. Will and Hannibal walked inside the dining room.

“It’s snowing,” you whispered. They both smiled but the smile was different. Will smiled at you because he had seen this bit of you. The part excited by the snow. He smiled at a piece of you he knew. Hannibal smiled because he felt like you never showed this piece of you. 

“Looks like it,” Will said. “We should go soon.” You nodded and moved away from the windows.

“Yes we should. It’s getting late.”

“Actually I was hoping to run something by the two of you” Hannibal said. You raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes?” Will asked, back stiffening. 

“If you are pursuing working with Jack perhaps,” Hannibal said which made you narrow your eyes. You hadn’t talked with Will about that yet. “I was hoping to have Y/N come with us.” 

Will looked at Hannibal hard. He tried to figure out this angle. To an untrained eye it was likely because Hannibal wanted to spend time with you. To Will, he wondered if you coming along was to keep both of them in check. Perhaps it was something entirely different.

“I would love to. Especially if Will decides too.” Hannibal nodded.

“Then it’s settled.” 

-

In the car you looked over at Will as he drove back to your home. The snow was coming harder but you could only tell by the headlights.

“Are you really going to go back to working with Jack?” 

“I don’t know.” You looked out the window, not being able to look at him.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” Will nodded.

“I know you don’t.” He glanced at you. “You’ve always been against it. But I can handle it now. It might even help me.” 

“But if it breaks you…” you trailed off.

“It won’t.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed it. You nodded.

-

You sat at your desk, fiddling with your pen when the appointment came in. Margot Verger. She was a pretty thing, someone you could probably be friends with. She approached you with a sense of cool confidence.

“Verger?” You nodded. 

“Right on time. He’ll come when he’s ready,” you promised. She nodded and sat at one of the chairs. You watched her for just a moment before she caught you. What an interesting lady.

-

Alana stood across from you. She had come to Hannibal's office to see you while Margot was in.

“Can I help you Miss. Bloom?” She had a stiff back and you could tell whatever she wanted to talk about was not something you wanted to hear about. You had been distant from her since Will tried to kill Hannibal. 

“I’ve been talking with Hannibal,” she said simply and the way she said it made you wonder what the talking insured. “I want to know how Will is.” She paused and you didn’t answer her, looking up at her from your desk chair. “I want to know if he’ll hurt Hannibal again.” 

You paused a second longer as you studied her. 

“Are you and Hannibal...sleeping together?” you asked, laughing a bit. She looked straight at you. You felt semi betrayed. You couldn’t tell by who. 

“Is he safe?” 

“I don’t know Alana.” Your voice was cold, calculated. “Is he?” 

The door opened and Hannibal stepped out. He raised an eyebrow at the two of you. You hadn’t slept together but you thought there was something there, something unspoken. Something with Will, something different. You must have been wrong. 

“Hello Alana,” Hannibal said. You stood up. 

“I have to go home,” you said simply. Hannibal shook his head.

“I was hoping to speak with you alone. Can you excuse us?” Alana then seemed semi betrayed by the both of you. Served her right. You nodded and grabbed your jacket, showing him that you weren’t going to be staying long. You walked into the office and Hannibal shut the door right in Alana's face. 

You stepped in further and walked to your regular seat on his desk. You leaned against it, following him as he walked in.

“Yes?” you asked, a touch of annoyance in your voice. You knew it was unfounded but you ignored it for the moment.

“Do you know why Will tried to kill me?” Hannibal asked. A tough memory for both of you but you ignored the emotions.

“Because he thinks you're the Ripper,” you stated dumbly. Hannibal walked over to you and leaned against the desk beside you. His hand landed on yours but neither of you addressed it. 

“It wasn’t to avenge Beverly Katz’s death. It was to prevent yours. He was protecting you. The only way he felt he had left in him.” You thought about this a moment. You looked down at the floor and nodded.

“I’m afraid he’s opened a door in himself that won't’ close again,” you muttered and looked over at Hannibal. “And knowing I had a hand in opening it makes my stomach churn.” Hannibal smiled weakly. 

“I don’t believe you were truly the one at fault.” 

You shared a long look and then you got up.

“I hope Alana has fun tonight,” you said slowly. “I know I will,” you told him as you opened the door to the office. 

Despite the fact that you were only able to see Hannibals face for a moment you knew that your comment had hurt him. You were beginning to understand that Hannibal didn’t want to be Alanas. He wanted to be Wills. He wanted to be yours. He wanted to be part of the two of you and telling him, so blatantly, that he wasn’t was a power move. 

You passed Alana and were no longer bitter.

She was being used.

-

You stood at the stables beside Jack. Will was inside one of the doors, doing his thing. You and Jack were alone outside.

“I’m annoyed that he’s here,” you said. “For the record.” Jack nodded.

“I’m annoyed you’re here. I suppose no one got what they wanted.” You looked over at Jack. How oblivious that man was. 

Will stepped out.

“It’s a coffin birth. Decomposition builds up gasses within and putrefied the body and pushes the dead fetus out of its mother’s corpse. It’s really more of a prolapse than a birth,” he explained.

“Not to whoever did this,” Jack said. 

“Whoever did this knew the horse. Knew she was dying because her foal was born dead. Knew Sarah Craber. He’s familiar with the stables. He knew when he wouldn’t get caught. He works here or maybe used to. He has medical knowledge of animals, but isn’t a veterinarian. He considers himself a healer.” 

“How is he healing?” Jack asked. 

“Sarah Craber was reborn. And a mother and her child are finally on the same side of life. This wasn’t a murder.” Will looked over at the two of you and away from the corpse. “This was grief.” 

-

“Peter Bernardone?” Jack called. You stepped inside a small place, filled with metal cages containing small wild animals. Will walked closely beside you. The fact that you were there did leave him with a certain level of comfort. He was surprised how that made him feel.

A wild looking man was in the house, scrambling around. He wouldn't focus on you or Jack or Will. Instead he focused on the animals and the things around him. 

“You don't seem curious who we are,” Jack pointed out.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“Agent Jack Crawford. FBI. This is Will and Y/N Graham. We’d like to ask you about someone you might have had contact with when you worked at Blackbriar Stables. Sarah Craber. Her body was found recently in very unusual circumstances,” Jack explained. 

“I heard.” 

“There was a bird in her chest. Did you hear about that?” Will questioned. 

“Is the bird alive?” Peter asked. Will looked taken aback and curious. 

“Yes,” he answered. 

“Who’s taking care of it?” Peter asked. 

“How well did you know Sarah Craber?” Jack asked and you thought that was rather rude. 

“I didn’t know her.” He was so skittish, his mind in so many different places. 

“Would you mind looking at a photograph for me?” Peter shook his head and then turned around, murmuring something to his animals.

“I know who she is, I just didn’t know her.” 

“Just to be sure,” Jack said. He handed Peter the photo. Will watched him closely, as did you. Peter glanced wildly around and when he did look at the picture it was very briefly.

“Peter, you had a head injury when you worked at the stables,” you said gently. Jack looked annoyed that you were speaking. 

“I was kicked by a horse,” Peter explained. 

“It’s an atypical motor response. Peter’s ability to look and touch can only happen as separate events,” you explained a bit. 

“Aggravated by stress, isn’t it?” Will asked. He nodded, surprised the two of you had gotten it so on the nose.

“Are you feeling stressed?” Jack asked. 

“I’m worried about the bird,” Peter explained.

“A woman is dead, Mr. Bernardoen. And you’re worried about a bird,” Jack said bluntly.

“I’m sad for her, I’m sad for the horse. But I can’t help them. I can help the bird.”

-

Therapy for Will was still hard for you. You didn’t like it. You didn't’ like not knowing what was going on in the room beside you, if Will was being hurt, if Hannibal was being hurt. You were usually told about it after but sometimes things were left out or forgotten.

Will sat on your desk and you looked at him.

“If I wasn’t doing this as an official session then I would let you come in,” he said gently.

‘I don't’ want to invade your privacy like that,” you explained. “I just wish I knew he wasn’t hurting you.”

“Do you think he’s going to hurt me?” he asked. You shook your head.

“I think you might hurt him.”

“Are you worried about that?” Will asked. You shrugged. 

“I don’t know.”

Hannibal opened the door.

-

After Will talked to Peter some more alone he came up to you. He was stiff, like something was bothering him. 

“I’m getting Alana to talk to the social service man assigned to Peter,” Will stated. You nodded.

“I’m sure that’ll help something.” You paused. “Why?” 

“Because someone wronged that man as much as I was wronged,” Will explained, voice barely audible. “I want to see him held accountable.” You nodded. “I want you there while Alana does it. Hannibal and Jack will be there too but I want you there.” 

You couldn’t tell if he wanted you there to witness it or to be a crutch. Either way you nodded.

“Anything you want.” 

-

You sat in the back seat, Hannibal driving and Will in the passenger seat. The night was dark as you drove to the stables.

“You look like a man who has suffered an irrevocable loss,” Hannibal pointed out.

“I’m trying to prevent one,” Will explained. 

“Do you think if you save Peter Bernardone, you can save yourself?” Hannibal asked.

“Save myself from who, Dr. Lecter?” Will asked.

“From who you perceive me to be.” 

“I’m afraid I need to be saved from who you perceive me to be. And for the record, I’m not the only one who sees you that way,” Will said. 

“Ah yes. Because you share in his beliefs don’t you Y/N?” Hannibal asked, looking in the rearview mirror at your face.

“Yes I do. Well truthfully I dont’ think Will’s ever been wrong about anything so I have to believe him. It’s my code,” you said simply. 

“Even with all you know me to be?” Hannibal asked. He was referring to the nights you spent together.

“After all Alana Bloom and I know you to be,” you quipped. Hannibal smiled a bit. He deserved that one. 

“Everytime you think about it, it stings, doesn't it? Wondering if I could be right about Will.” He was talking to both of you at this point. “Many troublesome behaviors strike when we are uncertain of ourselves. Peter Bernardone lies in the same darkness that holds you Will.” Will looked straight ahead.

“I’m alone in that darkness,” Will said. 

“You’re not alone, Will. I’m standing beside you. Y/N stands closer,” Hannibal said and you nodded.

“He has you there.”

-

Will walked beside you and Hannibal into the stables where Peter waited. You were the first to see him as you were the first in the stables piece where he was. You were all silent however until Will spoke.

“Peter...is your social worker inside that horse?” Peter nodded. You almost scoffed at the absurdity of the question.

“We are hardwired to see human beings everywhere. Every animal. Every life. We’re all human,” Peter explained but he looked disheveled, bad. 

“Every God is personified,” Hannibal stated simply. 

“He couldn’t see that. He forfeited his humanity. I forfeited mine. I used to have a horrible fear of hurting anything. He helped me get over that. Feels so abnormal.”

“An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior,” you whispered. 

“He deserves to die,” Peter said. 

“But he didn’t deserve to kill him,” Will stated. You felt his heart then. You wondered perhaps if Will could feel your emotions how easily you could feel his. “I want you to come with me, Peter.” 

Peter stood and allowed Will to lead him away. You gave Will and look, a look of worry. Will gave you a look of comfort back. He was in control. He was okay. You stayed with Hannibal.

“Happy I suggested you tag along?” Hannibal questioned. You both walked over to the sheep that were there and started to pet them a bit. 

“Actually, yes. I want to see what Will goes through.”

“Always his savior.” You glanced at Hannibal.

“Is Alana yours?” He chuckled but thought about it for a moment.

“Curiously enough I think you might also be my savior as well. In a way, differently than Will.” You were satisfied with that answer and you had to be because the horse started to move. The stitches ripped open and the social worker you had seen talk to Alana stepped out. 

“Mr. Ingram,” Hannibal said, stepping away from the sheep. Ingrahm stood up. “Might want to crawl back in there, if you know what’s good for you.” You scoffed and nodded. Hannibal stepped aside and Will held up his gun to the man. You wanted to swat it away from him. For a moment you recognized the ease he held while he pointed the gun, the almost attractiveness he held. 

“Officer, I’m the victim here,” Ingram said. He got on his knees and Will pointed the gun at his head.

“I’m not an officer. I’m a friend of Peter’s.” You walked up to Will but didn’t touch him. You and Hannibal shared a look.

“Peter’s confused.” 

You had been raising a hand before Ingram said then. You dropped it just as quickly as you had raised that. You had heard those words spoken to you about Will countless times. All three of you realized that.

“I’m not,” Will said sternly. “Pick up the hammer.”

“Will,” Hannibal said.

“Pick it up.”

“It won't’ feel the same, Will. it won’t feel like killing me,” Hannibal said. 

“It doesn’t have to. I know what it will feel like. It’ll feel good,” Will said. You watched his face. A focus came over him that you barely recognized. 

“You did the best anyone could do for Peter, but don't do this for him. Not for Mr. Ingram’s victims or their many friends and relatives who would love to see him dead. If you’re going to do this Will…” he paused, “You have to do it for yourself.” 

“Please don’t,” Ingram whispered. 

“Shut up,” you muttered. 

“This is not the reckoning you promised yourself, Will.” 

Will was so close to pulling the trigger. You could see his finger shaking. The trigger clicked but it didn’t hit. Hannibal took the gun swiftly from Will’s grasp and put his hand on the back of Will’s head. 

  “With all my knowledge and intrusion, I could never entirely predict you. I can feed the caterpillar, whisper through the chrysalis, but what hatches follows its own nature and is beyond me,” Hannibal whispered. He let your boyfriend go and you walked over, grabbing Will’s arms as he stumbled into your embrace. Hannibal watched the two of you, Will still shaking from adrenaline. 

He watched as you brought a hand up and grabbed Hannibal, hugging him too. 

Finally you pulled away from both of them and looked at the social worker.

“What do we do with this guy now?”

2x09