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bigdumbbambieyes · 6 months ago

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#it’s always funny to see the people who have bullied you in the past for no reason jump onto the hate train #solely bc they wanna keep hating you #i did nothing to you cheri idk why you treat me like i did something wrong to you??#or do you just find my existence annoying?#idk #y’all keep spreading the narrative that i’m a bitchy bully that forces and coerces people into things #when that’s absolutely not what i did and would never do #and also #ivy the fact that you are openly befriending someone who was friends with masha and applewillowstone ONLY until those two were called out #about their shitty behaviour #and then did a 180 and claimed she never ‘knew’ masha was ‘like that’#just speaks volumes on what’s really happening here #and yeah consider this a vent post #since i gotta make that explicitly clear nowadays

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seaofreverie · 2 months ago

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Sparkstember Day 12: In Outer Space (Cool Places)

Oh boy, it's finally here!! Having been a Sparks fan for nearly a year by that point, I finally got to an album I just straight up don't like! I honestly forgot by then that this was even a possibility. But a world where I can enjoy everything in such a vast catalogue of a favourite band of mine would be too perfect. It would be pretty strange and unsettling even. Not to always make it about my other favourite band whenever I'm talking about the first, but with TMBG also I eventually got to that one studio album release that I just couldn't bring myself to like, no matter what. So I think I discovered a bit of a personal repeating pattern here.

Alright then. My verdict on this album, which already got a pretty mixed response from fans as far as I know, is that it's not very good, or at the very least, it's not for me. Even the songs I like here I mostly like in the sense of, well, this one I could listen to again outside of the album every once in a while, but they're nowhere near being an actual favourite (besides one song, or two, mayyyybe four if I'm feeling particularly generous).

So I think that my main problem here comes down to how the arrangements / instrumentals seem rather empty to me but not in a cool minimalistic way. And, dare I say, they're pretty damn uninteresting - very few elements of suprise or anticipation to be found here. This is the only Sparks album that just... doesn't feel Sparks to me. (And that's coming right after Angst, which might really just be one of the most Sparks-like of Sparks albums in a way). Something is TERRIBLY missing here and a couple catchy melodies and fun synth lines aren't enough to make up for that. It drags on quite a bit and is underwhelming to listen to as a whole. With only a couple moments of change and something more interesting and engaging. It's this sort of situation where I feel like the whole time I'm waiting for some kind of resolution that never happens ultimately. First instance of me putting on a new Sparks album and forcing myself to sit through the whole thing. And last one I hope! (and expect...? well, better not jinx it)

Ok, having said all that... This will be a historical event because I can't finish this post before I have my obligatory listen to the album of the day on its day. So, time for some real time documentation of my changing opinion, or lack thereof. Time to hear IOS in it's entirety for the first time since april!

...Ok, I'm glad that I didn't say all this in vain at least, LOL! Because I'm still underwhelmed! No major change here. Definitely still not something I'm going to return to more often than very occasionally and the "waiting for nothing" effect was very present and real once again. And it just dawned on be, but do most of these songs not have a bridge?? Maybe that could be part of why it all feels pretty predictable! But alright, as per tradition, let's look at some highlights anyway.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Cool Places: never felt in any strong way about it but repeated listens made it an enjoyable little ditty over time, lol. One of my first impressions here was how LOW Russell's voice is, this must be the lowest he's ever sung, right?? And oh, quick shoutout to the 21×21 version of it too

All You Ever Think About Is Sex: ok, this one's really cool and exactly what convinced me that the rest of the album would be enjoyable in the same way. Not for me unfortunately!!

Please, Baby, Please: my definitive fav here that I like a whole lot and that for whatever reason doesn't seem to have any of this album's problems that I described earlier. And I'll always be partial towards songs that I can interpret as being aspec-coded, thanks to my predisposition to do that as often as possible

I Wish I Looked A Little Better: very similar case to All You Ever Think About Is Sex

Dance Godammit: it's funny. It's fun to listen to sometimes

#in outer space slander type of post today. on its day no less.#i'm sorry in outer space fans #but yeah maybe it's healthy to have at least one album that you can vent your frustrations with actually #and even then i feel like i held back quite a bit here mayhe i should stop being so afraid as coming out as mean with my opinions lolllll #the more i think about it the more i realize i really do not like this album at all. but ok moving on #for the drawing i actually made this whole fancy background at first that unfortunately would not in any way fit with the rest of it #and then when i redid the whole thing i put way too much effort into it anyway #considering that hours later i decided that i actually don't like the drawing that much!#well at least tomorrow's picture i do like much more #and i said i'd start going less detailed now yet the complete opposite seems to be happening. burnout incoming in 3... 2...#sparkstember 2024 #my art #goose monologues

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silly-lil-scribbles · 1 month ago

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me when i cant be someones favorite person all the time forever for no fucking reason: ah i see. hm. okay. i should go abandon everyone and everything and then kill myself

#like jesus man why cant i just be happy for people #its not even like they dont like me or anything i know they do obviously but my goddamn brain just goes #hey. hey. hey. hey. theyre abandoning you. they absolutely fucking hate you. you mean nothing to this person anymore now that they have-#other people they care about. which means you are being a burden and have to go die sobbing in a hole now sorry.#literally why #it fucking sucks so bad #i just want to be glad that my loved ones can rely on people who arent just me but noooooo i guess i have to have a breakdown over this #god #i hate myself so much dude #I seriously cant take this actually #i just want to be better #why cant i be better #and now i cant even enjoy one of my favorite bands playing anymore because im a selfish fucking prick #why does anyone even like me honestly #and this is over something thats literally so unimportant it means nothing i should not fucking care i dont want to care #tw sui ideation #im not actually considering it btw but god jesus i suck #and im attention seeking #i mean seriously i shouldnt post abt this #fucking stupid #i wish i wasnt like this #scribbles says shit #tw vent #kinda #er yeah i guess so #this is weird #only like the 4th real vent post ive ever made on here lol

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bueris · 6 months ago

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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead

#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere #i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art #but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely #certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like #university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government #i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour #party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead #also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be #idk #it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking #also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most #part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still #i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going #the way i wanna #I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life #if not then gap year to work it out #should probably look at unis for english language too then #sigh #ucas website i may as well marry you #ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up #yeah #shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical #they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices #crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that #why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine #bue waffling #vent post

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origami-butterfly · 7 months ago

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Ok but sometimes the most infuriating political stance a person can have is point blank refusing to discuss social issues with you when you bring it up because they "don't want to get political". Don't open the tags unless you want to read a rant

#my random stuff #vaguepost #vent post #like... babes. how do i explain EVERY DAMN THING YOU DO can be considered political by some metric #YES that includes your silence #also the fact that they will happily talk about being a socialist and fuck the tories and everything #but then if i ever want to discuss something that doesn't directly affect them they will literally just shut me down #like i know our normal friendship consists of sunshine and rainbows and silliness #but I'd fucking appreciate if you didn't ruin that friendship by refusing to agree with me about things that should be a no brainer #I can't even discuss fucking JK ROWLING with them!! because their sibling loves harry potter and they always say “it's just a kids series”#and “let them have their nostalgia”#OH I'M SORRY.#DOES YOUR FUCKING NOSTALGIA MEAN MORE TO YOU THAN MY LITERAL SURVIVAL AND HEALTH???#like. I'm sorry but there's more important things here #babygirl i don't know how to explain to you #that if a political party said they were going to kill all lefties people BUT give all right handed people unlimited access to horror films #you would vote for them wouldn't you?#even though I'm left handed you'd say “of course i support left handedness how can you even question that”#<- shit metaphor. i know.#but i could point out “yeah they want to kill me” and they'd say “I just don't know enough about it to discuss this; sorry”#like??? if you don't know enough #maybe. fucking?? educate yourself??? by having discussions about it???#PLEASE pull your head out the sand sweetie #saying you care is just empty fucking words #i shouldn't be saying this; they're one of my oldest friends but GOD.#if you can't even agree with me about jkr being a fucking holocaust denier we're going to keep having problems

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totheidiot · 8 months ago

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i hate that the solar eclipse just now serves as a reminder that nobody loves me.

#🍂 arian's shit #IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HAPPENED. but yeah #i will always think of the solar eclipse i witnessed and think about that #two people one of them my friend the other i thought i could consider my friend but HE PROBABLY DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT.#they both talked and did their things and laughed and they are so damn close to each other it almost made me cry and reminded me that #it was such a profound moment too when i realized what was going on #they were in another world that didn't have me and i get that. i do. they have known each other for a year and i abruptly showed up #two months ago and one of them we are getting close she likes me around #at least i think #the other one he is nice he is supposed to be like this he is nice to everyone that is who he is #so what is happening: he is completely indifferent to me. most he did was remember my name and face. but he is nice.#i like them both so so much it almosg does hurt when i stood there awkwardly almost like i was intruding #and i realized that i have never not been close to anyone #no acquaintances all the friendships i have had they sre the reason why i live and i know that they live for me too #we have known each other since kindergarten. they held my face and cried and told me that i was love when i was leaving for the last time #they love me. i am sure of it.#but now i don't have anyone near whom i do love. people don't love me. i used to be love.#it also hurts that i am Average Person In The World #i am not funny. i do not have unique quirks. i do not have a single talent.#all i am good for is saying the wrong things all time.#even in my old life i was someone. someone who isn't the same as the person who saw the solar eclipse today and felt all this #i was the idiot. I WAS THE IDIOT. i was the writer person.#i don't feel like any of these things now. they had a thing in common: their capacity to love and be loved.#i love very easily but i am not an easy person to love.#vent post #god this is such a small little thing i am the most pathetic thing in the world #feel free to scroll away don't even read this shit #arian contemplates his universe

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maliciousalice · 7 months ago

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#straight up hate some users on here and Im sadly considering unfollowing people/ mutuals simply because those peoples posts are so extensive #yeah i could block that person and mute tags but i still see their content and activity on MY feed #I wish I could keep my mutuals posts without seeing the other people they interact with in the fandom lol #its actually making me feel sick #hate this site #vent post but im so fucking tired of yappy dogs acting above others here and pretending to be sweet as pie when really theyre not #its not just one person either but there is defs a pyramid and are cliques that i have observed

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f1owermoon · 2 days ago

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today was SO ASS

#work was exhausting and overwhelming and I FUCKED UP ONE OF MY NAILS. FUCK ME #also i had the awesome idea of lurking twitter and i see a bunch of people hating on joost saying he's a dick and nor a good person like ??#i know it's only a small part of the fandom and its on me too for opening twt but man......#tbf ive never really considered myself part of the fandom bc this is the only place where i actively post about him #and i only have a handful of joost moots but still ive thought about distancing myself from it ngl #cause like. being a joost fan is so exhausting sometimes like theres ALWAYS something going on #and like. idk i love joost and his music a lot and i admire him so much and i really dont wanna let other people ruin that for me #and i know i shouldn't but yeah. its hard ://#the good thing abt joostblr is everyone's just chill here but still in general theres so much negativity and hate #like its hard to not let it ruin the experience of being a fan...and im ngl sometimes i think yk i love joost but maybe im in too deep #bc it messes with my mental and emotional well-being #which is SO FUCKING STUPID I KNOW bc its not that deep like. im just here to enjoy the man and his music but somehow i got too invested lol #anyway im going off on a tangent rn and im probably not even making sense ive just been having a lot of thoughts and i needed to vent #also i edited this post 500 times bc the tags kept getting messed up and theres still a typo but i aint going back to fix that #raquel speaks

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solitaireships · 8 days ago

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Listen, there are a lot of critical things you can say about Veilguard’s writing, and David Gaider’s absence in the writing and tone is felt, but acting like any issues people have with him are just twitter beef over little things and not him being anti-Asian, being part of the weird handling around mixed people in the games, and him being gross about pan people is crazy

#my posts #vent #delete later #racism #panphobia #like saying that asian people don’t exist in his fantasy world #calling mixed elf/human people ‘elf blooded’#or saying that half elves are considered fully human #saying that pan characters are ‘sex dolls’#those are not petty issues. that’s a pattern of bigotry #and yeah. maybe the writing would be better if he were around #but let’s not act like there were legitimate issues with him as a person #and with things he established in the world of the games

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solidcarbon · 14 days ago

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.

#i'd stayed alone for a few days before. for a week. for weeks #but this week was something for some reason #a fight against depression or whatever shit is in my head and i lost it #it was so shitty i can't even describe HOW. all i know that i was supposed to rest and i didn't rest #ED STUFF DON'T READ IF IT TRIGGERS ETC ETC more food was thrown out in these 8 days than i ate #wake up feel awful feel hunger drag yourself out of the bed to the kitchen #realise you in no condition for cooking #or for making a simple sandwich or something #look at food and think “aye i don't like that :(( i don't want that :(( i feel like dying but i can't force myself to eat :((ok back to bed”#LITERALLY hunger HURTS and i CAN'T eat just fucking CAN'T #you feel like you'll collapse on the floor any minute soon and.... yeah you guessed right #it's not like any typical ed i know and not what i could find when digging information abt it #'cus i also sometimes INTO food and even consider it tasty and even WANT it.......#and i tend to cope with stress with sweets sometimes #like WHAT THE FUCK it frustrates me so fucking bad #idk what to do #except for going to therapy. but i can't afford therapy rn #nor i can tell my mother #just need someone who'll repeatedly poke me with reminders to EAT. several times at a time #ED SECTION ENDED!!!#i wanted to say something ant anxiety but forgot what. for good i guess #need positivity. just a bit of it. today i've done half of the stuff i was supposed to do a week ago and i'm up to finishing it when #i'll get home #and everything else is probably ok.#fictional blorbos halping me survive day 948 #dame can't shut up #vent post

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the-acid-pear · 9 months ago

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Did you know? Studies show 90% of abused children quit right before they become the perfect vessel for a child of what they believe their parents will actually love. KEEP DESTROYING WHO YOU ARE FOR A MEANINGLESS CAUSE!

#luly talks #you know its fucked when you make a post thinking of yourself AND harry osborn #that's worse than harry dubois tags for me #anyway my beautiful step son aside uh. yeah 1) this is ok to rb but 2) this is actually a bit of a vent #because obviously me before but also bc talking w my therapist recently she was like... trying to get me to think of positives of my mother #so i'd consider reconnecting w her #and its so mental?#like woman i had to be kicked out of that house because even when i was about to kill myself to escape i wasnt willing to leave #nothing will fade the scars that my gripping claws left on that house as i was dragged away #i spent the last FOUR FUCKING YEARS trying to recover and come to terms with the fact my mother will never love me #and that there's nothing i can do to make her change #(which is what i tried to do for the previous 16 years of my life)#only for you to be like okay but what if she did like you this time?#WOMAN I HAVE POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER BE FOR FUCKING REAL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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averagekindergartenfan · 2 months ago

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‼️TW RELIGION + HOMOPHOBIA, TRANSPHOBIA, ETC.

Fact! It's all "We accept everyone in our religion!" unless you can't remember a scripture or surah. You're accepted unless you don't feel fit in your gender. You're accepted unless you start seeing an interest in someone from the same gender. You're accepted unless you can't focus in class. You're accepted unless you don't fit into God's standard, you're accepted unless your very existence goes against all odds. You're accepted until your not. But hey why not come pray with me? It's not like you're gonna go to hell if you don't, except you will. One sin will cost you your "free" ticket to heaven, and by the fire you shall praise our dear God or feel your skin melt off. He is merciful yet so revengeful. If you cross his path even by mistake, your angels will turn on you and cut off the rope that's keeping you from falling to hell. Anyways I'm gonna go hang out with Satan and shout "GAY RIGHTS!" with him while blasting possibly suicidal music

#tw religion #tw homophobia #tw transphobia #trigger warning #ramble post #fuck this im going back to satan #atleast he accepts problem kids like me #oh yeah this applies to Islam as well #hashtag religious trauma #i hate people #vent post #at one point I considered just hiding my queerness #i hate you all im going back to bed #be actually accepting when I wake up

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galadriell9999 · 4 months ago

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