#IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HAPPENED. but yeah

[frownyalfred]

I've always noticed in your writing that you don't tell what's happening really, or what exactly their feeling, also that your writing always starts with an action or dialogue, it gives a very realistic feel to it, also how u add so many details in between without info dumping is remarkable, it really does feel real (Also nothing feels exaggerated, it's kind of like casual mixed with whatever theme you're going for,it feels natural to read) love your writing, have you been writing as a kid in other things or you started off writing fanfics from the start?

You caught me! I’m terrified by the idea of info dumping so my writing style is just me frantically trying to write around that. I want things to feel natural, but it does make my writing pretty predictable!

I’m also a big fan of “show, don’t tell” which I know gets a lot of heat these days. Sometimes you absolutely just need to tell, but there’s a beauty and joy in showing, too. Implying.

I’ve been writing since I was a kid, yeah. In a variety of formats. I was a big reader, of course, and really really picky about what I liked to read.

[kteezy997]

Beyond Business-part seven//t.c.

Warnings:yearning, sexual tension, flirting undertones, kissing, cursing

The following week leading up to the Golden Globes, Timmy took every opportunity to get close to you.

You got a paper cut, resulting in the tiniest little cut on your hand, but he insisted on being your little nurse. “Come here let me see.” he said, taking your hand to the sink to run it under some cold water. He held your hand, pretending to examine the cut. You tried to hold in a giggle while this was happening. It was hard.

He even put a bandaid on your hand. “Timmy there’s not even any blood and the bandage will be in the way when I do things.” you laughed.

“I don’t care. I have to take care of you.” he asserted. Once he got the bandaid adhered to his liking, he pressed a kiss to the barely-there wound. “All better.” he grinned.

It seemed every other time he had to stand next to you, his hand nonchalantly found its way to rest on your lower back.

There was one time when he brushed your hair off of your shoulder, and let the pads of his fingers trickle along the side of your neck, slowly, giving you shivers.

“Timothée.” you warned in that moment, but you were weak in the attempt.

“I know.” he answered. There was melancholy in his voice. But he perked back up after a moment, saying, “Hey, I got you something to wear to the Globes.” He moved quickly to his coat closet nearby.

“Oh? That’s not necessary Timmy, I’m sure I have something.” you insisted, following him.

“Shhh.” he hushed you, grabbing a garment bag off the rod in the closet. He handed it over to you, that damn grin all over his face.

“Timmy, I-I’m just an assistant.” you reluctantly took the dress from him, “I don’t need anything special.”

“You are much more than just an assistant to me. Anyway, it’s nothing crazy, but I thought the color would nice on you. Try it on and show me.”

You winced, “Ugh, this is silly. I don’t need this kind of attention.”

“Go, bathroom, now.” he demanded.

You mumbled a protest on your way to the bathroom to change.

………

You were surprised that he knew your size. The dress fit really well. It was almost as if you picked it out yourself.

Timmy was right: the color did suit you, and the length wasn’t too short or anything.

“I told you to come back out so I can see it.” he called from the other room.

You sighed. This was not something you did;parade in front of a man. But it was Timmy, so maybe it would be okay. And anyway, he wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer right now.

You exited the bathroom, feeling a little shy, being so dressed up in front him.

“Whoa.” he said, his eyes widened.

“Does it look bad? I think it’s kinda nice. I like the color and the flowers, and the sleeves.” you rambled a bit, thinking he hated the way you looked.

He cleared his throat, nodding, “Yeah, it looks perfect. You’re so beautiful.” He came over to you, looking at you up and down.

You blushed.

“Here,” he began, reaching behind your head, unclamping the claw clip that held all of your hair up, “you should wear your hair down. That will look best.”

You shook your head a bit, letting your hair loose on your shoulders. “Okay, whatever you say, boss.”

“Hm.” he grinned, “I really wanna kiss you right now.”

“Is it the dress? Maybe I should change back into my other clothes.” you joked.

Timmy shook his head, “No, no, it’s just you.” He put his hands on your hips, sliding them across your back.

Your bodies touched, your hands went to his chest.

“Can I kiss you?”

“You didn’t ask permission before.” you pointed out, referring to the night he came over to your place.

With that, his lips met yours in a brief, longing kiss. He pulled away after a moment, saying, “We should stop now, because I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself if I kiss you again.”

………

The morning of the Globes came and he texted you first thing: ‘can u spend the day with me?’

‘I can if you need me to.’ you replied.

‘please🥺’

You showered, got ready and brought your dress inside of its garment bag, and your hair and makeup stuff along to Timmy’s house.

You let yourself in with all of your things.

“Hey, you’re here.” you heard him say, and his footsteps drew near.

“Yeah. Are you by yourself? I figured Aidan and your friends would be here.”

“Nope, just me and you for a while.” he said, taking your makeup bag from you.

“Oh, why is that?” you asked, following him further inside.

He helped you set your things down on the table, turning to you, he said, “Stop it, you know why.”

“Your girlfriend could have kept you company.”

“You are more my girlfriend than she is.” he took your hand, looking down at it, slowly running his thumb over your fingers.

“Don’t get used to saying things like that out loud.”

“Fuck,” he breathed out, grabbing you, “I just want you.” he placed you against the wall.

You moaned softly as you felt his body on yours and his lips met your neck.

His hands swept up your thighs, up your hips to rest there. He slid his palms toward your lower back, then lower.

You gasped as you felt him give your ass a squeeze.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

“Shit, the guys are early.” Timmy cursed.

January 19, 2025

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake @imnotoverlyobsessive @timhalchala

[marscantread7]

Sylus x Plus Size Reader/mc

Slight nsfw mention so mdni please!!!

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I'm a bit on the heavier side, like. Very plus size, and it's been on my mind for the past few days, like. Sylus w/ a plus size mc, and I'm not talking like average, what the media's idea of plus size is, I'm talkin like actual plus size.

Kinda a self insert, but thinking of mc just like poking and prodding at her skin bc it's just ugh! Like, this shirt just isn't looking right on her... maybe she should just go w/ the hoodie or wear a jacket over it like she originally planned, but here comes Sylus and he's all like, "🤨what r u doing?" And mc turns around and she's like, "this shirt just doesn't look right! Or feel right! None of this would be happening if I was smaller!" And Sylus just shuts it down real quick bc, "Sweetie. Ur perfect the way u r. U look absolutely stunning right now." And mc is very skeptical at first, bc she's literally just in typical lounge wear, but Sylus catches her gaze and decides to show her just how beautiful she is.

Omfg and like, thinking of how strong Sylus is. Like, okay another self insert😛 I'm 5'7 which isn't short, but it isn't necessarily tall either. So like, mc trying to like reach something on the highest shelf, and instead of just grabbing it for her, Sylus will lift her up so she can reach it. Just imagine her gripping onto his shoulders and looking down at him like, "Omg! Put me down, I'm too big!" And Sylus just giving her that look to try that again. "Sweetie, that means nothing to me. I'd be an inadequate partner if I couldn't support u in every way hm?" And just to spite her, he carries her away. Mmmmffffffggghhhh Sylus just randomly picking mc up at random bc he just loves holding her and🤤 Sylus holding her up and just fucking her. Like he doesn't even need to hold her against the wall! He can just pick her up and just go to town, no support.

And honestly another self insert, but I personally hate when I get insecure abt my weight and I'm ranting abt it and people get offended like "Ur not fat Marshall." Like that's such an insulting thing. Like, half the time I don't even mean it in a negative way when I point out my weight, I'm just stating an obvious fact. Like I'm big, that's a fact, u getting offended and acting like it's a bad thing that I'm big just makes me feel worse abt myself, hope this helps🙏🏾

Anyways, thinking abt mc like, criticizing her weight one day. Like, "I just don't see what u see in me. Like I'm not saying I'm ugly, but doesn't my weight make me a bit... unappealing?" And Sylus, oh the loverboy he is... "How dare u! Kitten, ur the sexiest person I've ever laid my eyes on." And he goes on this whole spiel abt how weight means nothing to him bc like??? Why should it? Like, genuinely what's so unappealing abt a little extra weight? If anything, he likes her size personally, and boy does he make it obvious. Always pinching those chubby lil cheeks, squeezing her thighs, resting his head on her stomach after a long day. And don't get him started on that ass😛😛😛 the way it bounces as he's fucking mc from behind. The recoil when he gives it a light smack, signaling her to "stay still baby, I'm gonna cum too soon if u move like that." BOY... like wow! Yeah #needthatNEOW

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Anyways that's all. Sorry for like the poor grammar and not spelling words out all the way😭😭😭 I didn't intend for this to be as long as it is. I would have written it properly if I knew I was gonna be doin allat. But anyways yeah. This was just one giant thought I had bc it's like ugh! I just know Sylus would treat a big girl so well and squish down and anxieties and doubts she has abt herself and his thoughts on her. Like yeah... this was literally just written for myself😭😭😭

Also ik I use mc, but u can read it as like a y/n or reader type of thing. I just didn't feel like using "you" atm😪😪😪

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Part 26: Do You Love Me

Summary: Lizzie's birthday party does not exactly go according to plan.

Word Count: 5,443

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts, body image issues, violence, sexual assault, sexual content, and references to past rape.

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 12: The Ballad of Sorrowful Souls

Lucy rested her hands flat on the wood of the little vanity, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Almost without her even noticing it, her hair had gotten longer. It was something that, looking back on things, she realized had happened gradually over the years. Letting it go a little longer between trims. Taking off less and less each time. Where the red locks had once only come down to her chin, they now rested a few inches below her collarbones. Brushing her shoulder blades in the back. 

Running her fingers through the fluffy curls, she pursed her lips. When did you get so bloody long? she asked the hair, to no answer.

Sighing, she picked up a few ornate pins, carefully gathering her hair up and sliding them into place, until her hair was entirely pinned up in an elaborate chignon at the base of her neck. Satisfied with her work, she adjusted the straps on her dress and checked her watch. Polly would be there to pick her up on her way to Arrow House for the party soon. Reflected in the mirror behind her, pale and lovely as always, Grace watched her.

“You look beautiful.”

She smiled at the ghost. “Thank you.”

“How are you doing?”

She looked over her shoulder. “I’m fine.”

“Sleeping alright?”

“Yep.”

“Those bags under your eyes say otherwise.”

“Fuck. Are they really that obvious?” she turned, squinting at herself in the mirror, fumbling with her small collection of makeup. Grace came up behind her, peering over her shoulder. 

“Try this one,” she pointed to a little bottle. “Rub it in gently under your eyes.”

Lucy followed her instructions, letting Grace tilt her chin up to examine the results. The blonde nodded. “Good.”

Hiking her dress up, she began to slide an array of knives into the garter sheath at her thigh. Holding the last knife in her hand, she twirled it mindlessly between her fingers, examining the sharp edge. Without even thinking, she gripped the handle tightly and brought the blade to rest against the pale, freckled skin of her inner left wrist. She bit her lip. One little slice was all it would take. 

“You really want to join me that badly?” Grace’s voice startled her out of her trance. The blade pulled away from the skin to slide into the sheath with its sisters. “Not that I’d complain. But I think Tommy would be very upset with both of us.”

“Yeah,” she whispered, checking to make sure her gun was loaded and putting it in her bag.

“Lucy,” Grace’s voice was stern. “What is it?”

She ran her hand over her hair, then cursed quietly and did her best to rearrange it back into place. She should be happy. Her plan had succeeded, after all. Things between Lizzie and Tommy had seemed to have mostly smoothed over. Tommy…seemed happier. That was what she had wanted, wasn’t it? And yet it hurt, to now know that all that was needed was her absence to have made that possible. 

Maybe she really had become nothing more than a burden. Someone Tommy kept around out of pity and duty. Perhaps he’d gotten bored with her. He had practically begged her not to go when she had left Arrow House, but maybe over the time that she had been gone, he’d come to the realization that she was right. Things were better this way. Perhaps he was secretly relieved that she had left.

“You’re being silly,” Grace said. “Tommy loves you.”

Did he? Or was it all just a ploy to keep her close because she was useful? Or maybe he never really had. Maybe she’d been nothing but convenient, up until now. A warm place to shove his cock when he was bored. 

“I’m not so sure anymore, Grace.”

“Oh, love,” Grace drifted across the room to her, hands cradling hers. “Remember when you left? He was distraught. He begged you not to go,” she offered Lucy a small smile in an attempt at reassurance. “Who would’ve thought, hm? Thomas Shelby, begging,” she shook her head, blonde waves flying, hand cradling Lucy’s cheek. “Okay?”

Lucy let out a shaky breath and nodded. Grace’s cheek dimpled with her smile. “No crying, now, love. You’ll ruin your makeup.”

Lucy let out a hiccupping little laugh and nodded. “‘Kay.”

Grace let her go so she could riffle through her jewelry box, putting on her earrings and rings. Her fingers hesitated over the large garnet necklace resting in the middle of the box, the one Tommy had gotten her to match Grace’s sapphire. Her brows furrowed, lips pressed together. Perhaps it would be too much to show up with a token of Tommy’s love hanging from her throat. And to Lizzie’s birthday party, no less. She let the lid of the jewelry box fall closed.

“Tommy will notice you’re not wearing it.”

“Maybe.”

Grace sighed, but apparently decided that it wasn’t worth it to argue with her. The sound of tires outside announced Polly's arrival, and she was quick to wrap her shawl around her shoulders and grab her bag. The jingle of the lead had Asher rising to his feet, tail wagging as she clipped it to his collar.

“C’mon, boy,” she said, pausing a moment at the door and turning to Grace. “You’ll be around, if I need you?”

Grace smiled. “Always am, love.”

Her heels clicked against the stairs, a quick wave offered to Charlie and Curly in the kitchen before she was making her way to Polly’s car.

“You’re bringing the dog?” Polly questioned, eyebrow raised.

“Mosley’s going to be there, I figured we could use all the backup we can get,” she explained, ushering Asher into the backseat before getting into the front beside Polly. “And Tommy said that the kids were asking about him. Figured they’d like having him visit.”

They pulled out onto the street, beginning the familiar route to Arrow House.

“Thanks for picking me up.”

“It’s no problem,” Polly said. “Though I have to say, I was surprised to hear about this sudden change in living arrangements.”

“I’m sure that you were popping champagne when you heard the news.”

“Now why would I do that?”

She gave her a look. “Polly.”

“Just because you’re not my favorite person in the world doesn’t mean that I can’t acknowledge your usefulness to Tommy and the company.”

“I’m touched.” 

Polly glanced over at her. “And you make Tommy at least somewhat bearable to be around.”   

That pulled a tiny laugh out of her, shaking her head. Polly reached out a gloved hand, patting Lucy’s arm. 

“Maybe it’ll be good for you,” she offered, “to not be chained to him all hours of the day.”

Lucy’s knee bounced anxiously as she shook her head. “I’ve never fully understood any of you. The way you talk sometimes. About getting away, about being chained. I’ve never wanted to get away.”

“I think you might be the only one of us who’s never really tried to leave.” 

“I’ve never wanted to.”

Polly hummed, tilting her head to the side. “You’ve really never thought about it? Not even once? To go off, have a normal life?”

She shook her head. “What do I do, if I don’t do this?”

Polly tsked. “You and Tommy. Unable to pull away even for a simple holiday. You really are perfect for one another.” Lucy didn’t respond, just looked down at her hands, tugging her shawl tighter around herself. “How’s he been taking it?”

Lucy shrugged. “He seems fine.”

“Really? I heard from Ada that he showed up at her doorstep at two in the morning in the middle of an emotional meltdown.”

“He feels bad about the whole thing. But…” she shrugged. “He seems happy. From what I’ve seen.”

Polly shot her a funny look that she chose to ignore. 

“You’re angry with him.”

“What? No I’m not.”

Polly gave her a knowing look. Lucy ran a hand over her hair and cursed.

“I gotta stop fucking doing that,” she muttered, smoothing her hair back down.

“Your hair looks fine. Spill.”

“I’m not…angry with Tommy, Polly.”

“Why did you leave, then?”

She shook her head. Took a small pause. “I…I just couldn’t stand to be somewhere where I felt so…” she struggled to find the right word. “Unwanted,” she finally finished.

“How do you mean?”

“They made this…deal that has a direct effect on me and Tommy’s relationship and they…” she chewed on her bottom lip. “They didn’t even give me a fucking heads up about it. And Tommy agreed to it,” she shrugged. “He had to know what it would mean for us and he agreed to it anyway.”

“He didn’t fight for you.” 

Lucy shook her head.

“No, no. That’s not it,” she ran a hand over her hair again and shook her head. “I don’t know, maybe it is. We’ve been so busy lately. Sometimes I feel more like just a coworker than a lover.”

“Maybe you should tell him that.”

“He has enough that he’s dealing with right now. When this current business is done, we can worry about…whatever this all is.”

“You’re very good at that.”

“At what?”

“Pushing your feelings down to deal with the task at hand. It’s part of what makes you so good at what you do.” Polly cast her that motherly look of disapproval that she often saw her giving her nephews. “But even you can’t keep your emotions locked up forever, Lucy. They have to come out and be dealt with at some point.”

“I know.” She glanced back over at Polly. “Sorry. I don’t mean for any of you to be pulled into the middle of this.”

“It’s alright. I’d much rather deal with you and Tommy’s mess than Arthur and Linda’s.”

“Right. Talk about a fucking disaster.” 

Polly hummed in agreement.

They rode in relative silence after that, car bumping along the road. As soon as Arrow House came into view a small shudder went through Lucy.

“Fuck.”

Polly shot a glance at her. “Have you been back since you left?”

“No.”

The older woman made a sympathetic sound, patting her on the arm again. “Well, look alive. We’ve got a fascist to impress.”

“Ugh,” she made a gagging sound that made Polly snicker. “He makes my skin crawl.”

Polly parked the car and opened her door. “Come along.”

She leapt from her seat, opening the door to the back. “Come, Ash. Good boy,” she coaxed the dog from where he had been laying with his huge head on his paws. He jumped down to trot dutifully by her side, his lead clutched tight in her hand. Polly came around the other side of the car, giving Asher a few scratches behind the ear before linking her arm with Lucy’s. 

“Ready to face the music?”

She eyed a few ballerinas making their way towards the tent set up on the grass. “I can’t tell if you're being literal or not.”

Polly chuckled, tugging her along towards the entrance of the place that had once been her home. 

∗ ∗ ∗

The party was in full swing and Tommy and Lizzie were nowhere to be found. Guests were arriving, chattering, sipping on drinks, and nibbling on food. Lucy remained close to Polly, not in much mood to socialize and grateful for the Shelby matriarch’s willingness to take point on greeting and conversing with the guests. 

For a brief moment she caught sight of Michael and Gina, raising her glass towards them in greeting, earning a small nod of acknowledgment from Michael. Gina sneered. Fucking kid.

She tugged on Polly’s skirt to get her attention. “By the way,” she cleared her throat, keeping her voice to a low murmur. “Mosley fucked Lizzie.”

“What!?”

“Mhm. Told Tommy allllllll about it at a meeting they had to discuss Mosley’s invitation here. Apparently it was while she was a nightclub hostess. Years ago. Thought you should know. It might come up.”

“Jesus, alright,” Polly said. “You find out anything else useful about him in your research?”

“Just that he’s fucking most of his wife’s family.”

“Charming.”

“Yep,” she popped the p in the word for emphasis. Taking a sip from her glass, her eyes trained on the door where the guests were filtering in. She elbowed Polly. “That’s him. With the mustache.”

“He looks displeased.” “I don’t understand how he gets so many girls. He’s so…” she searched desperately for the right word, “slimy. And his mustache looks stupid.”

Polly laughed, choking on her drink as a result. The MP was looking around, scowling.  

“You should go greet him before he has an aneurysm,” Lucy suggested. Polly disappeared with a smirk, heading for Mosley. Sipping again from her glass, Lucy rose up onto her toes, eyes scanning the crowd for Tommy. She had left Asher with Frances, and she was suddenly greatly missing the comfort and security that having the dog by her side brought now that Mosley was here.

Moving briskly, she began to weave her way through the guests. She hadn’t cared to go interrupt Tommy and Lizzie where they were likely fucking in one of the many dark corners of the house, but now that Mosley had arrived and was already sulking at Tommy’s absence, she needed to find him soon or risk the MP’s wrath. The last thing she wanted was to be alone in a room with Mosley. 

“Miss. Winters!”

She froze, grinding her teeth. “Oh, fuck me,” she muttered under her breath, plastering a smile on her face and turning around. “Mr. Mosley. So glad to see you.”

His eyes raked over her and she had to fight the desire to tug her red shawl tighter around herself. “You look lovely, as ever.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, could you please tell me, where is Thomas?”

“I believe he was dealing with the caterers. Something about some last minute problems, you know how these things can go.”

“I was hoping to be announced upon my arrival.”

“Apologies. If you’d like, I can take you to the study. Mr. Shelby had something he wanted to discuss with you privately. Before the performance, if possible.”

Mosley’s expression of displeasure remained. “Very well.”

“This way,” she inclined with her head, leading the way to Tommy’s office. She opened the door with her key and stepped aside to let Mosley in. “Is there anything I can get you?”

His eyes raked over her again. A hand suddenly shot out, tightly grasping a red curl that had fallen from her pins to rest against her cheek, stroking the lock and then tugging on it sharply. “Oh, I can think of many things, Miss. Winters.”

She had to resist the urge to lean over and vomit all over his expensive shoes.

“I’m afraid that I’m working tonight, Mr. Mosley.”

“Hm.” His hand slipped down, moving so quickly that she had no chance of stopping it. His cold fingers slid down her throat, around her shoulder, and promptly grasped her right breast, squeezing so hard that it hurt.

Lucy completely froze, heart leaping into her throat, too shocked at the sudden movement to do anything. 

Mosley grinned, eyes alight with sadistic glee. Just as quickly as he’d grabbed her, he let her go, smile remaining firmly in place. “Well, if you’re sure. Just Thomas, then, my dear. Quick as possible.”

She nodded, spun on her heel, and left the room, closing the door behind her. For a moment, she allowed her back to rest against the wood of the door, a sudden spasm of panic flooding her from head to toe. She took in deep, heaving breaths, thinking for a moment that she might actually vomit. Learning forward, she rested her hands on her thighs, forcing herself to breathe deeply, thankful that this hallway was hidden from the view of the guests in the dining and sitting rooms. Memories flashed behind her eyes, of hands on her in a dark alleyway, voices laughing and jeering as they pushed her down, a blade slicing through her skin, hands pulling at her hair. 

Lucy shook her head sharply to dislodge them. Instead, she tried to force her brain to focus on the feel of the wood against her back. The color of the rug beneath her feet. The sound of clinking glasses and muffled voices a few rooms over.

Her heartbeat was still more rapid than usual, hands trembling a little bit. Fuck. She hadn’t had an attack like that in a long time.  

On still somewhat unsteady legs, she began to make her way down the hall, going through her mental checklist of all the places Tommy and Lizzie could be. 

As if hearing her thoughts, she made out voices coming from a storage closet in the hall. Freezing, she hesitated, recognizing the familiar deep rumble of Tommy’s voice. Her fist raised to knock, but stopped. And even though she knew it was wrong, the fist uncurled, planting itself on the doorframe as she leaned closer to press her ear to the place where the door met the frame, listening. 

“--so that’s why you brought me in here. To lay your claim,” Lizzie was saying. 

“Yeah.” She could imagine the fond way Tommy probably smiled at her, eyebrow raising in a way that was both sheepish and cocky. 

“Well, it’s a start, I suppose.”

There was the rustle of movement. “He lays a fucking hand on you, he will be meat for Johnny Dogs.”

He need not specify who he was talking about. She already knew.

With a shudder, Lucy pulled back, unable to bear listening to anymore.

It was not that he was dedicated to protecting Lizzie that so wounded her. It was that, while he was fucking her and pledging his protection over her, Lucy was out here. The very man that Tommy had just promised to defend Lizzie from having just touched and spoken to her in a way that had triggered her to have a panic attack. 

She wasn’t even worth Tommy laying a fucking claim on, anymore.  

What would Tommy do, if he found out how Mosley had just touched her?

She already knew. The same thing he’d done when McCavern had leered at her: fucking nothing. 

He probably wouldn’t even care. It was clear he didn’t want her anymore, anyway. 

She took another step back from the door, intending to leave them be rather than ruin their happiness with her presence, when the door opened, and the pair stepped out hand in hand. Lizzie was smiling brightly while Tommy’s own lips were twitched upwards. When they saw her, they both froze, looking at her like two deer caught in headlights.

“Lucy,” Tommy said, smile falling and brow furrowing as he looked at her. For a moment, his eyes dropped to the middle of her chest, right below her collarbone, brows pinching together. She cleared her throat.

“You need to go to your office. Mosley’s there.”

“Are you alright?” Lizzie asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Hi, Lizzie. Happy birthday.” She hoped that her smile was convincing and not as shaky as it felt. From the way concern flickered in Lizzie’s eyes, she didn’t think that she succeeded. Tommy reached out a hand to her, and she flinched violently away from him. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” she gasped, breathing momentarily kicking back up a few notches. The idea of anyone’s hands on her right now made her feel faint with panic. A flicker of hurt and confusion passed across his face. 

“What happened?” his voice dropped an octave, ice blue eyes narrowing a fraction. 

Lucy squeezed her eyes shut, gripping her shawl tighter around her like a lifeline. “Nothing.” She opened her eyes. Tommy was still staring at her, searching her face for clues as to what she wasn’t telling him. “Just. Please. Go now. He’s throwing a fucking hissy fit over you not being there to greet him when he arrived.”

Tommy’s expression turned guilty. He hesitated only a moment more, looking her up and down as if checking for injuries, and then turned to Lizzie. “This’ll take just a minute,” he told her, and headed down the hallway. Lucy sighed out a breath as he opened and closed the door to his office. There. Disaster averted. Hopefully.  

“Lucy, are you alright?” Lizzie repeated.

“I’m fine. Go enjoy your party,” she nodded in the direction of the dining room. Lizzie frowned. “Please.”

The taller woman looked unconvinced, but headed down the hall. Finally alone, Lucy slumped against the wall. Her breathing was mostly back to normal, though the attack itself had unnerved her. She had dealt with Mosley on her own before, and yet she’d never had such a blatant, panicked reaction to his advances. Granted, he had never outright grabbed her like that before, but still…

 It had to be the combination of tiredness and stress, she decided. And the fact that Mosley at times reminded her unnervingly of Matthew. Or maybe it was the emotional turmoil of being back inside this house. 

She drew in a deep breath, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, drawing the smoke greedily into her lungs. It helped to stabilize her. If only a little. 

Finally feeling a bit more like herself, she began to head back towards the dining room. 

Lizzie was easy to spot, tall and gorgeous where she was standing next to Polly. Lucy paused in the doorway, leaning her shoulder against the wall, hands fiddling with her rings while she watched her. She was near fucking ethereal in her ornately detailed gown, her dark hair styled in stiff waves around her chin, features impeccable. 

No wonder Tommy had chosen her over Lucy. Where Lizzie was tall and slim and striking, Lucy was short, curvy, and plain, with skin almost as freckled as it was scarred. And of course there was her flaming red hair–she’d always had a sneaking suspicion that Tommy preferred brunettes–her eyes that were too big to be in proportion with the rest of her face, and her scars. Any man would find her repulsive in comparison to Lizzie.  

“Yes, that’s why he’s always been so enthusiastic to get you naked: because he finds you repulsive,” Grace’s voice spoke up, dripping with sarcasm. Lucy turned her head towards where the voice came from. Grace was leaning against the opposite wall, looking at her with a deeply unimpressed expression on her face. 

Lucy ripped her gaze away from the ghost, ducking her head down and pushing past a few guests to make her way over to Polly and Lizzie. Polly was shaking her head.

“Lizzie, if we were to strike from our guest lists every man in Birmingham who you-”

“Fuck,” Lizzie muttered, eyes focused on where Tommy and Mosley had just appeared in the doorway. The sight of Mosley made Lucy shrink back behind the other two women. Polly raised an eyebrow, leaning closer to Lizzie. 

“Yes or no?”

“Fucking yes,” Lizzie grumbled, turning to set her drink down. Both she and Polly muttered “shit” quietly under their breath as the men approached them. 

The introductions were awkward, to say the least. Especially since Mosley insisted on smugly bringing his past with Lizzie up. But Lizzie, to Lucy’s surprise, actually managed to swipe back at him. Reaching into her handbag, she pulled out a coin. 

“For the champagne and brandy you bought me, as I recall it was the booze that put you to sleep a little prematurely,” she tossed the coin into Mosley’s glass. Lucy’s chest spasmed, forcing herself to cough to cover up what would have likely been an inappropriately loud cackle. Polly patted her on the back, no doubt trying to sell the image that she was just choking on her drink rather than being near incapacitated with hysterical laughter. 

“Ladies and gentleman,” a man from the ballet company called. “The dance is about to begin.”  

Mosley looked a little shell-shocked, staring down at the coin now resting in his drink before turning and silently walking away. Like a dog with its tail between its legs. 

“Mr. Mosley!” Tommy called out, “a toast, if I may. To the end of our deal, and the beginning of something more,” he raised his glass and turned. “Happy birthday, Lizzie,” he shot her an approving wink and clinked her glass with his. Facing Mosley again, he held a hand out as he guided the man away from them. “This way.” 

Lucy rested her hands on Lizzie's shoulders from behind, stretching up on her toes to whisper into the woman’s ear. “I love you,” she told her. Lizzie shot a somewhat bashful yet proud grin over her shoulder at her. She let Polly and Lizzie drift ahead of her in the crowd, walking on her own outside to where the tent had been set up with the stage for the performance.    

By the time she got to the tent, a good share of the guests had already been seated. Tommy and Lizzie were sitting in the front row. But he had an arm subtly draped around the empty chair next to him on his right, keeping anyone from taking it. She was painfully aware of him trying to catch her eye but ignored him, aware that she was being childish but not able to muster up enough energy to care.

Instead she walked right past him, Lizzie, and the seat that he’d been apparently saving for her. Making her way around the rows of chairs, she found a spot that was about as far as she could sit from them as possible, tucked way in the back. Sitting down, she pulled her shawl as tight around herself as she could, suddenly wishing that she’d worn a warmer dress than the simple black gown she’d chosen. 

When she finally chanced a glance over at Tommy and Lizzie, it was to find Tommy staring at her as if she’d just turned around and shot his dog. His blue eyes were wide with hurt, jaw tensing as though he were trying to restrain anymore emotion from leaking onto his features. Lizzie looked stunned, her brows creased together and lips pouting slightly. 

Lucy only met their gaze for half a second before she had to look away. 

The rest of the guests quickly filled in the rest of the seats around her. The people who sat near her were complete strangers, but she’d take that over having to sit by Mosley or Gina.

Ballet had never really been of much interest to Lucy, but even she had to admit that the performance was quite lovely. But it simply could not hold her attention, try as she might to focus on it. Her gaze kept sweeping over the audience.  

She saw Lizzie take Tommy’s hand, gazing at him with happy, hopeful eyes. He didn’t remove his gaze from the ballerinas to look at her, but he didn’t pull his hand away either.

Husband and wife. Happy together at last. Lucy looked down at her hands, clasping them together tightly. Until her knuckles turned white. Tears had to be blinked hastily from her eyes at the realization that no one would probably ever hold her hand again. And especially not like that. 

Towards the end of the show, she spotted Polly stealing away with Aberama, ducking under a string of lights and vanishing into the dark.

Gaze scanning over the crowd, she rolled her eyes at the sight of Arthur slumped over, asleep. Tommy and Lizzie were still holding hands. Michael looked bored. Beside him, Gina’s eyes darted away from the stage, glancing over at Mosley, who had been rather blatantly staring at her. He looked away quickly at their eyes meeting, but Gina’s gaze lingered on him a bit too long to be just simple curiosity. Interesting.

Lucy made mental note of the odd interaction. That would be a thread to pull on later. To see if there was anything of value or intrigue attached to it. 

Something tugged at her mind to do another sweep of the crowd, and when she did, it was to find Tommy staring at her.

The expression on his face was imploring. Desperate and worried. She thought that she might’ve seen longing there, too, but told herself that it was just wishful thinking. 

She wanted to tell him that it was alright. He didn’t need to feel guilty. He didn’t owe her anything. And he should not feel obligated to continue to be with her out of some misguided sense of duty. She understood. Things change. People change. Feelings change. It wasn’t his fault. 

She had always had a sneaking suspicion that this would happen eventually. It was her own bloody fault for not more properly preparing herself for it. 

Tommy seemed to be trying to tell her something with his eyes. Like they used to be able to do all the time. Their little mind reading trick. But she couldn’t read him anymore. When she looked into his blue orbs, she could not make out any words. 

Somehow, without either of them realizing it, the bond between them had broken. Lucy wondered if it could even be repaired at this point.

Not that there was much point in ruminating over that. He was happy with his wife. Why would he want to waste time and energy trying to fix anything between them when he had Lizzie? 

A flash of car lights in the distance, on the front drive, caught her attention. Odd. She couldn’t think of anyone who had been on the guest list that hadn’t arrived. In the corner of her eye, Tommy shifted, having spotted the car lights as well. He leaned forward, looking down the front row at Arthur. When he caught sight of his brother asleep, his shoulders heaved in a sigh, features turning exasperated. 

His eyes returned to Lucy’s. She could see the silent scream echoing behind them. She gave him a sympathetic look. Had she been sitting closer to Arthur, she would have been able to kick him awake. 

She kept an eye on the approaching car while Tommy leaned back in his seat to catch Michael’s eye. He was the closest of any of them to Arthur’s seat. Tommy gave a small jerk of his head in a silent order, spurring Michael to reach in front of him to nudge Arthur until he woke. Lucy watched as the two Shelby brothers shared a glance of silent communication before Arthur stood, discreetly shuffling away towards the front drive to deal with the approaching car. She kept one eye trained on Arthur’s disappearing figure, another on the ballerina spinning on the stage.

The car had stopped but the lights were still on. A person exited and moved to stand in front of it. Lucy leaned forward, eyes narrowed, trying to make out who it was. A flash of pale blonde hair caught the light. Shit. It looked like Linda.

She stood abruptly, walking behind the rows of guests, moving briskly after Arthur. If anyone had reason to crash the party and ruin everyone's evening, it was Linda. The woman was likely justifiably furious over what Arthur had done to her friend, but the last thing they needed was an altercation between Linda and Arthur with all of these people around. 

She shot a quick glance over her shoulder at the tent. It didn’t seem like any of the guests had taken notice yet, too enthralled by the performance in front of them. Except for Tommy, who had stood from his seat and was following after her. Lizzie was watching them, expression curious. Lucy looked away, quickening her pace towards Arthur and Linda. 

Linda moved suddenly and…was that a gun!? Lucy broke into a run that was more of a jog. Fucking heels. She should have just worn her oxfords, even if they didn’t match her dress. She almost made it to Arthur, who despite having a gun aimed at him hadn’t moved, when a gunshot rang out, loud enough to hurt her ears. There were footsteps behind her, Tommy and Lizzie skidding to a halt beside her. For a moment, everyone was still.

Then Linda crumpled over onto her side with a soft thud.

“Arthur,” Tommy gasped. His older brother spun around, shocked eyes scanning over each of them. His hands were empty. It wasn’t him who’d shot Linda. Lucy looked at Tommy. No gun on him, nor on Lizzie. 

And behind them, her weapon still raised, face pressed into a stern, protective expression, not unlike a lioness protecting her cubs, stood Polly.

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[girl-lostconnection]

Continuation that I promised to come back with as a response to this ask

Simon doesn’t think much before choosing military. He’s never been much for academics and military at least guarantees some stable income.

Yeah, at the expense of his health and possibly life but well, at least he gets to make something out of himself. (At least he gets away from home and dad and heavy Manchest skies)

Simon can’t stand the thought of you “settling” for him.

Because you are bloody brilliant, you are soft and beautiful and strong. And impossibly, you love him.

You haven’t said it yet, you are keeping it close to your heart but you don’t need to — it’s something even he can see.

Simon wants to be something worthy of that love.

He wasn’t sure what he expected when he announced that he’s going away to serve in military but it definitely wasn’t this panicked look in your eyes and trembling hands because hey…hey hey hey, it’s okay, love, it’s not permanent, yeah? He will come back to you, of course he will, sweetheart, do you think he’d just leave the best thing ever happened to him?

Darling, you are everything and he’s just a kid from a broken home and broken family and he wants to be something. He wants to feel that he actually deserves all that love and care.

He wants to know that he is something to be proud of, that you won’t be wasting away with someone like him.

Your future is bright even if you don’t get into fancy university or college, but Simon is bottom of the barrel in the grander scheme of things.

He wants to work for his place by your side.

He wants to come back and know that he deserves be with you, that he deserves to ask for you to stay with him. Forever and always.

But it all can wait because for now he wraps himself around you — tall and lanky, sharp angles softening around you, short tight kisses to the crown of your head.

He’s gonna come back, love, he promises.

Simon holds you tight and ignores the way his own eyes sting because god, the time would crawl while he’s away from you. Because he never wants to spend another day without you but he knows that if he doesn’t do something to prove to himself and everyone else that he can make something of himself…he will regret it for the rest of his life.

So he rasps out “write to me, will ya, luv?”, thumbs swiping away your tears, backpack slinged over his shoulder, your scarf wrapped around his neck.

And he’s so scared, he’s so fucking scared because it will take him at least few years before he can come back. And what if you meet someone else? What if someone who’s already worthy of your softness comes by when he’s out there bleeding and clawing his way up?

What if he comes back changed and you won’t want him anymore?

What if-what if-what if-what if.

But you kiss him before he goes and it’s salty from tears, it’s desperate and it’s so hungry he remembers that even if you didn’t have anyone you two always had each other. Nothing would change it.

All he can do is jump off the cliff and hope that his wings appear on the way down.

You are both crying when he finally gets on the bloody bus, eyes red-rimmed and noses sniffling but you pepper his wet face with kisses, hiss that he has to come back, that you will kill him if he won’t.

And Simon can’t help but laugh — sound wet and gurlgy from the mucus and all the water but he’s smiling again, eyes impossibly soft because god, you truly are something, aren’t you, love?

“You are magic, luv. Never forget tha’. Never forget me, olright? I’ll come back”, he sounds almost reverent, voice thick with devotion and something else, hands holding your face like the most precious thing in the world.

He’ll come back. Just wait for him, okay?

Goodbye, love.

And goodnight.

[isamariee]

•black lacy panties•

CONTAINS - • 18+ • fem receiving oral • praising • besfriend!geto • soft!geto

you and suguru were always best friends. nothing more, nothing less. often, he spent the night at your house, just normal sleepovers of course. usually there was a lot of tension in the air, slight teasing too, but that never really led to anything. except tonight.

“suguru!” you yell from the bathroom. you forget to grab some clothes to change into after your shower. you called sugurus name because why would you walk out in just a towel to grab your clothes when he was literally sitting on your bed, waiting for you. it might be an awkward interaction.

“yes?” suguru got up from your bed, heading to the bathroom, but stopping at the closed door. “you okay? need anything?”

“uh y-yeah can you hand me my clothes? they should be sitting on my dresser, i forgot to grab them.” you mentally slap your forehead, wishing this didn’t happen because you hated bothering him, but you know he would do anything you asked him to do.

“oh yeah, i’ll get them for you” he smirks, walking over to your dresser and grabbing your change of clothes. he sees the light pink silk pj set, with a pair of black lacy underwear under it. he grabs it too, feeling his pants getting as he imagines you wearing them.

“hurry up! it’s cold and i’m ready to get dressed” you say, wondering what’s taking him so long. he was just grabbing your clothes right? you think for a second, remembering that you put some lacy underwear under the pjs that you were gonna wear. fuck. he didn’t see that, right? maybe he ignored it…

he knocks gently on the door, letting you know that he was coming in. suguru sees you all wrapped up in a little towel, hugging your curves just right, and a little cleavage poking out. this made him get harder, becoming more noticeable through his sweatpants.

“h-here you go.” he hands you the folded clothes. he swallows hard, having to look away from you, so that he doesn’t let his thoughts control his actions.

you grab your clothes from his hands, watching him lean against the bathroom doorframe, crossing his arms and looking around awkwardly, before meeting your eyes again.

“go away suguru. i need to get dressed” you shoo him away with your hand, but all he does is turn around, not moving from where he was. you turn around to get dressed, slipping the towel off your body. suguru can’t help but turn his head around every few seconds, getting a glance at your body, hoping you don’t catch him. “okay you can turn around now. i’m done” you turn around and smile at him, going to brush your hair, brush your teeth, and to put some deodorant on.

“what? why are you still staring at me?” you say to suguru, who smiling and can’t keep his eyes off you. “i can’t help but look at you, you’re so beautiful.” he walks up to you, grabbing your as and grinning at you in the mirror.

you finish freshening up, turning around to look at suguru, who can’t keep his hands off you. he grab your chin gently, his lips meeting yours. you’re shocked by the kiss, he’s never kissed you before.

he lifts you up by the back of your thighs, and puts you on the empty space of the counter by the sink. he kissed you longingly, like he’s been waiting to do this forever. he bites your bottom lip slightly, making you open your mouth a bit, giving him the chance to slip his tongue in and explore your mouth. your hands instinctively move to the back of his head, causing him to groan into the kiss as you caress the back of his neck.

you moan his name softly against his lips. he lifts you up again, carrying you to your bed. he lays you down on the bed, hovering over you. he’s about twice your size, being a whole foot taller than you. you can feel a wet spot forming in your panties, and he hasn’t even touched you yet.

———

suguru grabs your thighs and places them over his. he goes down to kiss you again, more lustful this time. he slips his hands under your shirt, his hands cold against your breasts, causing your nipples to harden. his hands go right to your tits, grabbing them so gently, his lips never leaving yours. he rubs his thumbs over your nibbles, making you gasp and moan into his mouth.

he lifts up to slip his sweatpants off, throwing them somewhere on the floor. you can see the whole silhouette of his hard dick under his underwear, your eyes widen a bit at the length you can see.

“fuck baby. you don’t know how long i’ve wanted this.” he slips your shirt off over your head, throwing it to the side. he rubs his big hands all over your tummy and tits. he brings his mouth to one of your nipples, sucking at it softly as he plays with the other.

“mmph. suguru.” you moan, breathlessly. your hands run up to his head, knotting into his long, dark hair. you can feel him smirk as he sucks your nipple, moving on to the other one.

he sits up a bit, tugging at the waistband of your pants, looking up at you for approval. you nod your head and lift your hips up for him. he slides your pj pants off, revealing the lacy black panties.

he spreads your legs more, never breaking eye contact. he rubs your clit through your panties, grinning as he feels the wet spot.

“damn. i haven’t even touched you that much yet, and you’re already getting wet for me” he chuckles a bit, still rubbing your clothed clit.

“please suguru. i need you” you say, desperately. you buck your hips, needing to feel his touch more.

“i would make you wait, but you’re being such a good girl asking for it so nicely.” he smirks and slides your panties off, tossing them away. he leans down so that his face meets right with your hole. he grabs your hips, and he moves his mouth to your throbbing clit.

“fuck- mmph.” the room is filled with your noises. your hands go to sugurus head, pushing it down more and gripping his hair. this makes him go faster with his tongue, switching between tonguing your hole and sucking your clit. he can feel himself start to get harder.

you grip his hair more when he speeds up his pace. you know you’re gonna cum any second, feeling your orgasm forming in the bottom of your stomach.

“suguru. shit- i’m g-gonna cum. please don’t stop.” you wrap your legs around his head, trapping him there. “cmon baby. let go for me. i wanna know how good i make your little pussy feel. cum for me” at those words, you finish right in his mouth. he stays down there for a second, letting you ride off your high on his tongue.”

your throw your head back, being all sensitive now. suguru takes off his underwear. “oh baby. i’m not done yet. j-just stay still a minute for me, okay?” he grabs your hips again, pushing himself into you. you moan loudly from his length ramming into your walls in just the right spots.

he continues to fuck you at a constant speed. “mhm. you’re doing so so good for me. letting me use you to cum” you feel your walls clenching around him as he reaches down for your clit, rubbing it hard with his thumb. his words really do have an effect on you.

“f-fuck. i’m gonna cum” he groans as he feels you finish again, your liquids leaking down, sliding down your ass. this makes him lose it. he pulls out and cums right on your tummy, leaving a mess.

he plops down right next to you on the bed, rubbing your shaking thighs.

“you were such a good girl for me, baby. thank you” he leans in to kiss you once more. “i’ll get you cleaned up okay? stay here, i’ll be back. and then we can watch a movie together” he smiles at you, and he pulls his boxers back up, and goes to the bathroom.

you smile to yourself, knowing this will definitely be a regular thing now.

[totheidiot]

i hate that the solar eclipse just now serves as a reminder that nobody loves me.

[beaulesbian]

The Black Paladins - VLD S06E05

"I don’t know what’s wrong, but I know we can fix this. Let me help you."

[spinnysocks]

vita shows me a stick :]

[novadreii]

rewatched arrival for the hundredth time. this movie never fails to gut punch me with its approach to determinism. louise embracing her future that she knows every moment of, despite the tremendous loss and pain it contains, with open arms. she doesn't hesitate, or ruminate on how she can try and change it. she accepts it all, the good and the bad, because what she gains is worth it, so many times over for her. she steels herself against a certain future and runs forward to meet it all, to love, learn, and lose, and trusts and leans on herself to live through it all. because that's what life is; it's the joy and the suffering. to try and isolate the joy alone is madness, futility in its purest definition.

comparing her line of thinking to a palindrome (how she named her daughter, hannah), the movie kept emphasizing, "it's the same backwards as it is forwards." it doesn't matter if you can see the end; life is the same whether you live it "forwards" (without knowledge of the future) or "backwards" (with foresight). it doesn't change the significance of your life experiences; to try and avoid certain future pain just because you have the knowledge of it is a zero sum game. you think you win because you avoided pain, but you also avoided the joy that preceded it. the metamorphosis. so you still lose if you try to win, and vice-versa.

all you can do is rush forward and take it all head-on. see this whole beautiful mess as your one most precious gift; this one life, this one chance, a laughably miniature blip on the colossus that is linear time, to experience all there is to feel before you return back to an eternity without perception. it's all worth it, because only in living a full-fledged life open to everything it has to offer does the experience of living turn out to be greater than the sum of its parts; it's in trying to beat the system (avoid pain) that we actually lose.

"if you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?"

"maybe i'd say what i feel more often. i...i don't know."

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 25: Hippopotamus (What The Hell Is It This Time?)

My Hippopotamus rant is here. I love Hippo and I think this was one of the best examples of how putting something off for later can be a very good idea sometimes. So I didn't hear most of it until this summer, and hearing the whole album then was one of the biggest highlights of that time. Thank you modern era Sparks for always bringing us the awesomest music ever.

[oldbutchdaniel]

the sick and messed up truth is that you have the capacity to be so productive and feel so good if you are not blogging on tumblr dot com 24/7. this is why we need to make blogging a full time job with benefits and retirement options. more on this at 10

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[kuromi-hoemie]

hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™

but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.

[retourpresdetoi]

now i did not like Nosferatu (2024) for a variety of reasons. but let me tell you. seeing the purity-centered, pearl clutching, absolute disgust-first opinions dominate negative reviews has me feeling like i watched a different film. "this movie is for deranged sex-perverts" my biggest criticism was that it didn't go far enough! all that for a 2hr 12min movie and it was boring!

[fappellmoan]

also ok maybe had a weird little freak moment yesterday :/ i was with lydia and needed to eat my godawful shitass sushi before going to the library so anyway who do i spot but the roommate with some random guy naturally and im like lydia pause i need to be a stalker but so casually for just like a sec. (this is in a downstairs like cafe/hallway/elevators area) so i stall and then we go to check for a free room to sit in and when there r ppl in it we just go back near the cafe area and theyre over in this little. alcove. of a sitting area. lounging. and im so normal and rlly naturally glanced over a couple times hoping to god the guy didnt see me cause luckily roommate was faced away. anyway. but lydias screenaging it up so im just sitting there awkwardly. and i have to walk past them at one point to get soy sauce to drown the sushi in and maybe that made me look like a weird little stalker too. well again this is if the guy even knows who i am and prob not so whatever its like fine. but like yeah and then i def saw them getting up and then on the elevator to leave so i think my skittish little creature tendencies scared off the vibe from across the room even... and i didnt just wave like a normal person bc i wasnt sure they saw me but we've spotted each other at much greater distances there's simply no way. i was treating them like what the kids call an 'opp' kinda... me when im an anxious little beast...