#and wow. i self project onto him so fucking much

[nu1lst4rs]

doodled human designs for nightmares gang!

click for better quality

ggrahhb. i love them. will draw individual refs soon. promise. cross has jumped between nightmares gang and star sanses, and therefore is considered a neutral outcode in our au. so ill draw him later.

horror fws the trans community

Star sanses, neutral aus (p1), neutral aus (p2), extras

some headcanons under cut 3_^

warning there is alot of text

> nightmare (they/it)

DESI NIGHTMARE!!!! (this is blatant self projection.)

short. but they always manipulate their height when they're outside of their gang because they hate being short.

chubby because its ass is not used to actual food, and they have a really slow metabolism when it isnt negativity. and now that horrors "forcing" it to eat, they gain weight. fast.

intersex. not sure why i think this but they don't really have a sex, so. erm.

^ adding onto that their fluid in their expression. sometimes masc, sometimes fem, sometimes andro.

has those stupid ass hair curlers and uses leftovers for their tentacles

MATCHING NECKLACES WITH MY OTP AT THE CURRENT MOMENT. usually errormare or bsp. sometimes fluffynight. killermare if nihira is fronting.

also sugar daddy nightmare. its either rich as fuck or have no money at all. (this is kindve a crack hc)

> Dust (he/they)

leaning korean and thai mix for him. because i need to see more mixed characters.

wears pjs whenever he can. gets the most fucking stupid pj pants too. like hello kitty. comfort > style.

always dusty. mostly because he doesn't shower and smells like ASS, but also because they gotta live up to their name somehow.

TRANS MASC. dont care if you say its wrong. EVERYONE IS TRANS. (excluding horror and blue. allies!)

aroace spec 100%. most sanses are, but him in particular. would rather die than do any of the sappy bs. but wouldd love to have a partner. or maybe 3. wink wink.

"2 shorter than killer but gaslights killer into thinking he's taller

doesn't wear papyrus' scarf, but keeps it in his sleeve.

> Horror (he/him)

wanna hc him as native american. but i haven't exactly thought much about what in particular.

tall and bulky. after a lonnggg famine, horror developed an ED. where they stress eat until he's physically ill, or feeling less stressed.

doesn't need the bandages on his face, bur keeps them there because he hates the scar

little big bottom teeth. its something he developed due to the food conditions in HT snowdin.

as much as it happens, horror HATES having blood on him, so he wears an apron underneath his clothes and does the laundry often.

PROSTHETIC LEG!!!! it got stuck in a bear trap when he was in his old au, and alphys didnt really know what else to do. its not the best thing, but its reliable. killer likes to put stickers on it.

has a cleaver named maxine, and an axe called rex.

ace because i dont really think. yeah. gross. ew. intimacy.

> killer (he/they/it)

arabic. its almost canon at this point.

has a selection of knifes in his thigh thing if his magic backfires on them. favourite is its butterfly knife.

is legally blind. his ass CANNOT see. refuses to admit this.

acespec because like look at me. he can barely feel. i just think he'd love the idea of being in a relationship, and desperately want one. but know he cant be in one.

scars galore holy shit. is always somehow simultaneously sloppy and precise with his knifework. him and nightmare have a small rivalry to see who can get the most.

needs to have textures on his clothes. something to ground themself. like "oh shit we're dissociating." rubs pants aggressively. works for us.

transb... transverse...

also DID but this is hinted at in canon

HUh. okay wow that was alot. cres shut up about utmv for 5 seconds (IMPOSSIBLE) (I DIED AFTER 1 SECOND). anyways THANK YOU!!! i will post and draw stars and neutrals tomorrow maybe. just after some sleep because it is 2am. bye everyone 3.<

[messiahzzz]

You’re one of the most annoying people on this site. And that really says A LOT because WOW! Shut the Fuck up about Gale wanting to be a father or not. He never says that he doesn’t want to be one. You projecting things onto him doesn’t make it Canon.

on a serious note: i’m certainly not the one that continuously brings up this topic unprompted. i personally really don’t understand the entire controversy around the topic or why fandom feels the need to rehash this conversation almost weekly. i truly believe that there’s nothing more of value to learn from it, to address, or add to it… yet fandom won’t let it rest.

to once again clarify: what i mean by “gale wanting to be a father isn’t canon” is that there is no evidence/neither hints anywhere in any of the dialogue that support the contrary. characters like h*lsin, w*ll and la*’zel have entire adoption subplots. all of them mention their children explicitly during the epilogue:

narrator: *your soul warms thinking of lily aurora ravengard, your adopted daughter. a treasure of a girl, found at the entrance of the open hand temple - one grey eye, one brown.* w*ll: ah, the girl could melt the staunchest heart. she might even have brought a smile to old withers' face! w*ll: but tonight is for us - and lily's only four months of age, besides. i promise, the temple will keep her in good care.

player: and our little hatchling? is he safe? la*'zel: of course. i have complete trust in our newest allies. xan is in fine hands tonight. la*'zel: what a wonder he is. he will be a fine warrior, if he chooses. or a poet, or an explorer, or a scholar.

h*lsin: being away from it... i cannot help but worry how they will fare in our absence. player: we'll be back before they know it. h*lsin: i hope so. the children shall miss their bedtime tale tonight - though perhaps i can glean a few new stories from our friends here, to make up for it.

even shad*wh*art has a line where she briefly mentions that children might be a possibility for her in the future.

shad*wh*art: and i get to see my parents almost every day - i need to make every moment with them count, after so much was stolen from us. but they're doing well, [...] shad*wh*art: who knows? perhaps they'll have grandchildren before long.

gale in comparison? he has none of that. he remains childfree during the entirety of the game + epilogue. in fact, his line in the epilogue that addresses the topic of grandkids is this one:

tara: this is why mrs. dekarios and i will be waiting an eternity more for grandchildren. nodecontext: self-pitying gale: psst! shoo, tara. nodecontext: shooing away tara like one would a naughty cat.

i already wrote a post about this entire discourse here [x] but to repeat myself once more: all of the dialogue that vaguely addresses the topic of children in any way in regards to gale are these snippets

player: gale… how would you feel about having another person in our relationship? gale: what, like a child? i’m not quite sure i’d consider myself father material, plus our current lifestyle isn’t exactly what i’d call settled…

gale, upon spotting oliver during their game of hide and seek: ah, i have you! just a shame i don’t want you.

gale treating the children the group comes across with respect isn’t an indicator either. this is a courtesy gale extends to everyone he meets. he’s a character that approves of a protagonist who systematically commits good deeds. whether it’s sparing animals, helping without compensation in mind, or aiding children. wanting children to be cared for… and you know… for them not to die is common etiquette that every adult should extend to a child in need. those are not “dad goals!!!” it’s quite literally just basic human decency. gale is genuinely kind and caring to everyone he meets, there is no reason why this also wouldn’t apply to children.

i often see fandom mention his encounter with mol at last light and how excited he is to talk to her. which i think greatly misinterprets the context of the scenario since he didn’t have much of a reaction to mol before either — gale is ecstatic about lanceboard. again evident by his reaction to the party finding the life-sized board during the wyrmway trials, and how he immediately offers to give tav pointers. explaining different approaches to them in enthusiastic detail if they allow him to. the man just really likes lanceboard… as well as being the smartest person in the room.

gale: ah, lanceboard! why, this might just be the highlight of our misadventures to date.

gale: lanceboard happens to be a game with which i have more than a passing familiarity. might i offer a suggestion? nodecontext: gale's a badass lanceboard player, anticipating showing off

if you want to headcanon your tav and gale raising a big family together that is more than fine and no one is stopping you. whatever you want to happen to these two after the storyline of the game is up to your respective fantasies. no one is policing you on what you should do with your own character. go wild and create whatever fan content you wish, no justification required.

yet once again, as there is no mention in canon anywhere — neither in the main game nor the epilogue — that this is something gale would ever want (whether that may mean immediately or somewhere down the line) gale wanting to be a father remains a headcanon. while gale being childfree is explicitly shown in the game, in strict comparison to other companions that either have children by the end of the game or voice the desire to (eventually) have them.

my personal preferences are of no relevance here whatsoever. i care about accurate and correct characterization and will point out inconsistencies/false information no matter the topic. i, for one, want to appreciate these characters in the way they're written, not how i ideally want them to be.

[ananke-xiii]

Thinking about how in "Patience" Kelly tells Jack that he has an angel watching over him just like Mary told little Dean and how in "The Big Empty" the dead mother is both Mary and Kelly (Mary's not dead but she might be and anyway she was and that doesn't go away), how Jack is so ATTUNED to Dean's feelings that he feels his grief and that makes him awake Castiel in the Empty...

how "the Trauma Drama of the Gifted Child", the book that Sam reads in "Patience" while he surveils Jack through a monitor, is a book about children who are more emotionally aware and sensitive than others so much so that they they can become so ATTUNED to their parents' needs and expectations that they would do whatever it takes to see their parents' needs and expectations fulfilled while repressing their Self...

How Sam is the one who's actually trying to train Jack because he wants to find and save Mary Winchester...

How John trained Dean to help him in his revenge quest after Mary's death...

How Sam projects onto Dean in "The Big Empty" and tells him that he's acting like their FATHER while Dean replies he's not gonna be his (Jack's) MOTHER...

Yeah, The Gifted Child is totally Dean. Sam is more the John Winchester of it all, although his ways are obviously different and softer. And then Jack is also the Gifted Child and he's specifically too attuned to Dean's feelings to the point that he's willing to perform for him to placate him or see him satisfied (so, in a way, Sam was right just not for the right reasons).

My god, not that I needed more proof but my poor Jack was fucked up from, like, day 0. The amount of trauma he lived since day 1 on earth is. like. WOW. I mean. WOOOAH.

[hellonerf]

through it all caname having the same face is pretty crucial to it all. because i'm crazy

under the cut because i'm a little crazy and i don't want to deal with people going why are you so crazy. i was just thinking about how they behave to each other and concern and selfishness. i think i portray them a certain way because i rarely think when i draw but anyways. they still project onto each other to insane degrees and them having the same face doesn't help it at all. in their worst moments they'll see the other as more of a "___ version" of them. it really is like that image with the model of someones model in someones head What okay

i actually think cana is guilty of this a lot but i'm gonna be honest i think about canada's stream of thought more these days because ame is too much of a coping freak to me sometimes. i think he displays a lot of concern and worry for ame but it's not entirely selfless. i don't think he's that selfless. like i think if ame met someone and for whatever reason that other person made ame improve himself and actually be better cana would feel pretty empty about that. well ok i just think they're crazy with each other. it's not even really that he wants to be responsible for him it's just if he, as he is, as his relationship with ame is, turned out to be completely unremarkable to ame he'd like shoot himself or something. no that was a joke i bring up suicide too fast Sorry. sometimes i think his anger with ame is more about himself. not to say he has no reason to want to beat his shit in but more that he himself is also an enabler and not an innocent person it feels reflected back to him 😇 and he crazy hates himself. cana living in his own head and mumbling all his frustrations about himself and other people only to himself is the kind of cause for a tunnel vision self centeredness. when he gets aware of this he starts slamming his head in the wall. it's kind of a feedback loop with being reclusive...

i'm too assed to string into words what i think their deal with what they desire from one another is. i actually think they want similar things but if not a lack of communication then the way they'd want it is too different from each other to work. caname can never work guys it's so over. i have to yandere kill everyone else on their behalf to force them together it's so over. like i think cana thinks ame is a psycho unreliable arrogant asshole and ame thinks cana is a stupid lying coward bitch with no spine but they're also bffs and also the same person(wrong)(this is why everything is wrong) and they want the other to Understaaand them. in the true way. in the True way 🌤️ ame is like ohhh i'm eternally alone ohhhhh this fucking sucks and this spineless fag i call my brother is my last hope 😭😭😭(exaggeration) and he still doesn't know anything. ohhh you don't know anything about about This worlddd this world we're in....(attempts suicide for the 1000th time) and cana is like all my relationships are pointless and nobody likes each other including me. and there's my brother who doesn't care about anything but himself and mindlessly causes harm to everything. what do i even do😭😭😭 i'm tired. i think at random cana will be like No OMG this is horrible i can make this not horrible(yes?maybe?) which is like the context for that drawing where he hugs ame and doesn't let go when he yells and pushes him i think. you genuinely have to rip their skins off to get them anywhere. wow. KILL YOURSELF CANAME 😭😭😭😭😭

they're too cringe aware that's why they will never even kiss. that won't stop me from drawing them kissing and getting married because i don't care i like to play with dolls. caname is good. caname is a net positive. caname is actually so sweet and encouraging and super nice to each other and i'm a maniac

[weebsinstash]

I’m honestly living for the potential Miguel angst in your YouTwo fics, like him realising it’s pretty much entirely his fault that you got so injured/traumatised. Excellent Yandere potential right here lmaoo.

No but really, because like your standard edition default yandere could be like "oh, you're so weak and delicate, only I can protect you, only I deserve to have you, oh you're so wonderful and lovely, you are incapable of actually truly taking care of yourself like i can" and you know all the mushy shit that is varying degrees of truth and delusion

And here you have Miguel, who like, let's look on "the timeline" that we've kind of established here, ok, because, wow does he have some reasons to uh, go feral

-you guys have a cordial, team-up kind of first meeting against an anomaly in your home dimension, you wind up being invited to Spider Society, one day your home universe is JUST GONE while you're out and about in Nueva York or elsewhere

-You're like basically homeless, traumatized, depressed, like what was all of that for, what was all your suffering for, those deaths and tragedies you experienced, you SUFFERED to be a Spider, and now, your home is gone, what does this mean, like, you have the most justifiable existential crisis one can imagine, you had a DESTINY my dude! And it's GONE NOW, POOF

-Spider Society becomes new home, new community, new thing to keep you going and alive and grounded and they all like you and sometimes you think you're actually happier than ever, you feel very loved and supported, even teach your own class, people like you, little do you know how much lol

-but you still have depression and anxiety and self doubts but hey everyone supports you 🥺 part of being a Spider is picking yourself back up right?

-youtwo shows up, you feel weird, somwqhat threatened by their presence but, also some kinship actually, maybe they even feed you some story either genuine or a lie and you allow them to be you once or twice, they get drunk on it, kind of trick you, fans out, starts stealing your identity. Suddenly what purpose you had in your life is at question. If anything and everything you can do can simply be replicated, what use is there for you? Whatever depression and issues you have before are amplified

-members of the community start mistaking you for the replica and treat you varying degrees of disregard to outright disrespect and you wonder what that means, if they were all just nasty liars to "real you" or if you were just never really that special or anything to begin with and they just latched onto "real you" for some random reason

-you get framed for something youtwo does,sabotaging a big society construction project that you saved the day on but got injured for. YouTwo doesn't even need to pretend it wasn't them, you're framed and people believe it, they believe the narrative that you wanted to feel needed and set this up to be the hero and people treat you with either pity or disgust or just coddling "oh, poor them :( they shouldn't have done that though..."

-you just kind of start hating everyone because it's at the point where now YouTwo hasn't just stolen your life but put you in a position where EVEN WHEN your identity was believed, your reputation and relationship with others is tarnished. Like picture with me here, put yourself in the moment, you're crying you're feeling so sad and outraged because you genuinely cannot believe what you're hearing as Miguel stands there forcing himself to be emotionless and saying "the footage doesn't lie and we have a witness" and it's just YouTwo planting bombs and they stole your costume or were manipulating people and spreading lies or something, and you're just, like, feeling literally fucking violated that this is happening to you, you're literally sitting there with like a hip or broken femur because of being injured in the incident, where you also saved other people by the way, and you're being accused of being the perpetrator, after everything you've done for them, with them, after never having done this sort of thing before, you're just. Outraged doesn't begin to describe it. Whether you love or respect him you can't believe someone who was like family to you, not just him but by extension all of them, would do this to you. You're more alone than ever, and stuck in a wheelchair where they try to pitying dote on you while you completely clam up and some of them interpret it as guilt and you eventually just tell all of them to leave you the fuck alone (again, a little interpreted as guilt)

-Miguel like legitimately thinks he's doing what's best for you. The time he finally truly sides with YouTwo and winds up actually hurting you the worst is when he's trying to be like, "see I finally believe you, Im sorry I doubted you, I'll fix this I promise, I'll get rid of the second one" and he's saying it all to. YouTwo. Like imagine how bad that fucking hurts. You're either crying or just laughing at the absurdity of it, either weeping or actively antagonizing him until you blip away from having your bracelet broken/removed when you're "exiled"

-after you're gone, that's when he realizes how BAAAAAAADLY he's fucked up. He's got definitive evidence the you in front of him is the fake, he has no idea where you are, if even that you're alive. really, you glitching away instead of outright dying basically makes you an anomaly, even more than before anyways. Maybe the fact you just vanish instead of have the whole cell death thing gives him hope that you're still out there and he obsessively searches for you, but can never find you

-until one day when he's at his near breaking point, I mean this man is hanging on by THREADS at this point, you just, glitch back into his life. Like a miracle. And you're hungry. And you're cold. And you're hurt. And you need help and he NEEDS you, needs to be the one to help you, to atone for what's happened, especially when he sees your deteoriated state mentally, physically, and emotionally. Like. He latches on to you like a parasite, please please PLEASE let him make this up to you he is like BARELY holding himself together he NEEDS you and needs to help you (oh wow that whole construction disaster "causing a problem to reap the benefits of fixing it" is unintentionally coming back full circle for you ain't it dude, the apollo gift of prophecy levels of projection lmao)

And you know I mentioned in the past "what if you get rescued by another Miguel and latch onto him" but like if Reader is so emotionally and mentally worn down, I think really having "your" Miguel so desperate for your forgiveness and seeming so genuinely attached to you would really sort of activate the Oh God I Just Need Someone To Love Me And Need Me insecurities and traumas. You wake up from a good rest after first coming back and he's apologizing to you profusely and you just kind of break down and immediately accept him back because you just. Need to feel like you matter. Like the toxic codependency of you needing to feel loved and him desperately wanting to make things up to you, giving you any praise or affection or attention he wants to give you and you feeling somehow reassured by the dedication, but also him being in this position of power and authority over you where he, if he wants to, has extreme control over your life. You're just over here barely keeping it together and critically depressed and needing hugs and needing to matter and you have this hulking almost 7 foot behemoth of trauma of grief who has a More Than Unhealthy Attachment to you who does have Intentions is now being fully in control of your care, of your safety, of your environment, with a heightened emotional investment in just. Literally everything about you

Oh yeah, he's all too happy to give you food and shelter after your traumatizing multiverse travels. But he also didn't want to let you leave in the first place. Now he won't let you. He's partially convinced he shouldn't ever let you out of his sight ever again, period. He's just becoming Downright Mentally Unstable because not only have these things happened to you, between you and him, but also, there were people who helped YouTwo, helped the scheme, whether intentionally or not, and now he's more untrusting of his peers and surroundings. He grows colder to the ones he doesn't trust. He programs his own watch to give him notifications on your status on those occasions you're apart like when he has to go fight anomalies, which is suddenly magically Way Too Dangerous for you to do anymore you're basically on house arrest

You really truly become All He Has Left, like borderline his reason for living at this point besides his own motivations and drive as Spiderman 2099 and his mission to protect the multiverse. But you're a big thing keeping him going. Even if you don't love him, he'll make sure to stay by your side and not leave you ever again. He won't make the same mistake twice, he promises. You just have to give him the time to prove it

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 119

So nervous, so nervous, so nervous ... oh boy ...

BATMAN-based plug? oh gods what do you have in store for us this time, Samuel? New characters? Uh-oh ... "MattMan"? Whoa ... oh my gods Sam please have mercy on us ... "Robbie DayMan"? Wow ... oh, and you're just being a big self-deprecating now ... "MarishaRay"? Hmmmm ... ah, yes ... "The Blindspot! ... oh yeah ... "TripleTeXXX"? oh, yeh, reckon THAT ONE'S the winner ... yeh, that does sound like the winner for the cosplays ...

Ah ... dental humour ... okay then ... oh hello, Gaz ... nice ... XD

Laura: "Oh my gosh! We have ... clothes!" Here we go, classic faltering Laura plug, I love it ...

And so it begins ... oh the nerves ... the tension's already unbearable ... O.O

Oh, brand new Battlemap? The reactions ... oh boy ... this is a TERRIFYINGLY awesome setup ... this is gonna be an EPIC final battle ... oh yes, and that's a REALLY GOOD question ... where IS Imogen?

HOLY FUCK IMOGEN!!! She's incredible in the most horrifying way ... holy shit she is AMAZING ... she's a LITERAL GODDESS right now ... Marisha (as Laudna): "That's my girlfriend!" O.O

So IS Imogen still in there or has she already been taken over? Is she going away? Is she still our friend or are we losing her? WHAT'S HAPPENING Matthew?

Laura: "Is this all because I rolled a 12 in the last game?" Ashley: "Probably!"

Oh my, that's such a pretty smile ... O.O

Chetney's putting on the Harness? Already?

Another good point - what IS going on with Fearne? Oh, she's still with us? Okay ... maybe she can help with this ... so what ARE YOU doing, Fearne? Oh, okay ... yeah, she Flares up with the Spark ... nice ... and Matt swaps out the mini! Yeah ...

Laudna tries to cast Phantasmal Force on her ... hmmmmm ... okay, this just got interesting ... wow ... Laura rolls a TWO ... it's not often that her spectacularly DUMPING a roll is actually a GOOD THING ... so Laudna CAN project some images and warm thoughts to her and hope for the best ... maybe this really WILL work ... ... PLEASE let this work ...

Braius plrays to WHOEVER ... Nature's Ichor? Hmmmm ... yeah, that really did sound like a pure Hail Mary ... yeah, Prdathos just shakes that off ...

"Stand aside." ROLL INITIATIVE!!! Crap ...

In my head I'm hearing Janos shouting: "Don't you know who this is? He is Viggo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!"

Dorian clicks on his Winged Boots to fly up and flank Predathos ... (yeah, that really ISN'T a mini, is it?") ... he casts a 3rd Level Shatter aimed at her hip, just for a TEST ... okay ... oh, so it WORKS? O.O Oh this is going to be interesting ... KRACK!!! Thunder Damage for the WIN then? Interesting ... and now Dorian has VERY MUCH made himself a target ...

Orym just RUSHES at Predathos and jumps at her knee, then Misty Steps onto her SHOULDER ... okay ... ballsy move, Wee Man! Now what? Oh, he's just trying to TALK HER DOWN ... right ... okay, so it's a Persuasion check AND an Insight check ... interesting ... well Persuasion tanks ... please roll better for Insight! 10? Balls ... yeah, she''s currently unreachable ...

Right ... so WHAT does that mean right now? She's doing ... SOMETHING ...

Laudna turns around ... and the group wonder if she's just RUNNING ... cue jokes about this being a "deal breaker", etc ... Marisha: "My girlfiend tuned into a god-eater, am I the asshole?" XD ... no, she's just wondering and biding her time ... whle casting Bane on her ... okay ... wait, Matt's going to ALLOW it? That's ... potentially VERY WORRYING ... and she assumes her Form of Dread ... she;s masquerading as a super creepy verson of the Matron of Ravens ... okay, then ...

Ashton melts down into the ground then works on getting an angle to jump up under her into her path ... oh, use his hammer to creat as Immovable Object in front of her? Potentially clever, could work ... this should be cool if it DOES work ... crap, so he GETS DISTRACTED by the psychic onslaught? Great ... so he's at DISADVANTAGE right now ... balls ... roll good for athletics, Taliesin! So now he's HANGING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AIR, then ... so he's just STANDING IN FRONT OF HER and trying to talk her down too just like Orym ... another Persuasion AND Insight check ... wait ... Tal gets a WHISPER?!!! Already? Fascinating ... Ashton: "I think we gotta crack her open!" Oh, interesting ...

TWO Legendary Actions? Oof ... some kind of arcing ray effect ... INTELLIGENCE saves? Oof ... RADIANT damage? Hmmmmm ... the Skein of the Golden Order? Sounds scary in a really fancy way ... O.O ... wait, so they're just getting REMADE as Predathos sees fit? Fucking hell ...

O.O ... dear gods what has become of the group?

Predathos is now CLAWING DOWN at people ... yikes! I;m sorry ... Exploit Fate? What fresh hell, Matthew? O.O ... oh that is just EVIL!!! You bastard, that's shocking ...

Oh wait ... so Imogen actually has a CHOICE right now? What kind of choice DOES she have right now? SHe's trying to focus on Fearne, maybe get through to her? Yeah, try that ... 14? Oof ... I suspect that's not really enough ... trying again? Hmmmm ... wait ... IS THAT her? Maybe? try ... definitely TRY ... oh wait ... yeah, that's just QUIETLY TERRIFYING ... oh shit, that's a GOD ... Vordo the Golden Weaver ... one of the lost gods that it devoured ... oh, so this is just LEFTOVERS, then ... lovely ... Telepathic Bond? Interesting ... yeah, that sdhit is BARELY there ...

Chetney gets as close as he can, opening out Turmoil, and casts Shatter at Predathos ... wait ... it takes FULL damage? Yet again this really DOESN'T sound like a good thing ... he Misty Steps behind her, grabbing onto the back of the entity's leg ... Brand of Catigaton? Hmmmmm ...

Braius steps up beside Ashton and casts Ensnaring Strike before swining at her with his flail ... Divine Smite as 2nd Level ... oh, that already sounds like it's gonna be a FUCKTON of damage ... oh, so Radiant damage DOESN'T do all that much ... okay, then ... good to know ... and now it's antangled and Restrained ... a SECOND attack? Okay then ... oh yeah, that's a MISS then ...

ANOTHER Legendary Action? A Claw Strike ... ouch! Quite the response ...

Fearne jumps up on her foot and grabs onto her ankle ... come on guys, be mature about this ... oh, so she's trying to just TUG on the tether ... after a fashion, anyway ... oh, so it's all a bit ethereal and figurative right now ... hmmmmm ... yeah, she's really hard to get through to right now, guys ...

Mister shoots some Flame Seeds ... POW!!!

2 more Legendary Actions ... oof ... yeah, way to just SHRUG THAT SHIT OFF, Ashton! Nice ...

Dorian casts Booming Blade at the spot Chetney's already weakened ... KRAKOOM!!! Cute ...

Orym dons the Potion of Invulnerability and starts slashing as Predathos' face with Seedling ... a miss ... then a hit ... Goading Attack! Another miss ... balls! Now he scrambles round to the back of her neck ...

What are you rolling for right now, Matthew? We don't trust you, you give us so much anxiety!

Reaving Claw Attacks? Great ... oh, but yeah, she's right, that sets off the Booming Blade attack ... nice ... Truthbearer? Oh nice work, Braius! Not that it makes much difference when Matt rolls THAT WELL ... O.O

Damn Ashton, that's some CRAZY SHIT ... nice work, boy! But ... oh balls, yeah, that does tear it free of the Restraint ... nuts ... oh, are we trying to Rules Lawyer this shit? Interesting ... Rollies? Here we go, then ... nope, that DID do that ... nuts ...

Fucking hell, those are some SAVAGE Attacks of Advantage ... and yes, Thunder damage REALLY IS doing some major damage to this particular opponent ...

Laudna is VERY CONFLICTED right now ... and I really can't blame her ... what can she evwen do? Void Puppet? Oh okay then ... Disintegrate? REALLY?!!! Ballsy ... so she's just going STRAIGHT for the chest, then ... Legendary Resistance? Damn it, Matt ... and that's that for the Puppet ... nuts ...

Silvery Barbs! Damn right, knock THAT shit away ...

Ashton jumps onto her and starts swinging ... A CRIT!!! Yes! Oh yeah, this sounds like it's gonna be a whole lot of damage dice maths ... 48 points for the first attack ...next hit ... POW!!! Nice showing there, Rock Boy!

Telekinetic EVISCERATION?!!! Matt: "She's gonna turn round and use this on YOU, Chetney." Travis (horrified): "WHY?!!!" Oh, that is just HORRIBLE ...

So ... is Imogen actually going to be able to COMMUNE with this riuned hollow shell of a god? Is this even an option? Wwill it do ANYTHING?!!! Oh, this thing is basically DEAD ... yeah, it really IS just leftovers at this point ... Travis: "Do you wanna loot the god corpse?" XD ... yeah, well ... 15 isn't terible ... pluch the thread, Imogen ... it really can't hurt ... Shocking Grasp? Really? Interesting ... the god just VANISHES ... Imogen ATE THE GOD ...

Fuck ... this LITERALLY HURTS Predathos OUT HERE ... fucking cool ... and it GENUINELY depowers Predathos a little bit ... AND Imogen gets 40 temporary hit points! Nice ...

Chetney rushes right back at it and starts swinging again with Turmoil ... first hits, at least, with an additional Crimson Rite ... LIGHTNING DAMAGE!!! Yeah ... THOOM!!! Oh yeah, they're definitely startign to hurt it ... Yes! Use that Brand of Castigation!

Braius Misty Steps into range and casts Thunderwave at 4th Level ... Constitution save! Which is succeeds ... BALLS!!!

Fearne disengages and hurls some Flaming Rays at Predathos ... yeah, she takes the attack damage just so she can land the shot ... first hits ... second hits ... third hits ... NICE!!! Okay ... Enhanced Bond? Ooooooooooh ... this could be a wholoe lot of damage ...

Mister takes another flaming shit ... SPLAT!!!

Dorian flies right into Predathos' face and casts Shatter at 4th Level ... oh thank you Matthew for that spectacularly SHIT save ... but he uses the Legendary Resistance? Balls ... reduced damage, then ... so it hurts but less than we'd really like ... then he gives Chetney some very clunky Inspiration ...

Orym casts Hex and starts slashing at the back of her neck ... firs hit misses ... second is a sweety CRIT!!! Nice ... 31 points! Third misses ... Acton Surge! Here we go ... chpping away ... Goading Attack! Oof ... that is A WHOLE LOT of damage in one round, Wee Man!

The crystals are turning BLACK ... yeah, that can't be good ... O.O ... Chasm of Eager Darkness? EXCUSE ME?!!! Oh yeah, Orym just gets violently pitched off and that is a SCARY big drop ... thank fuck Laudna casts Feather Fall on him in time ... phew! Now for this Chasm shit ... O.O ... so EVERYBODY has to make a Constitution save ... oof ... shit ... Dorian and Braius are now BLINDED!!! Crap ...

Travis, a forty-foot Gunadm sounds PRETTY FUCKING USEFUL right now!

Laudna puts Mirror Image on herself ... and decides FUCK IT ... she PUTS ON THE MATRON MASK!!! O.O ... nothing happens? Crap ... IT'S NOT WORKING?!!! Now what? Wait ... IT'S A FAKE?!!! What the hell?

BRAIUS DOOMSEED YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!! He swapped out the masks! And now he's blinded! What the fuck are we going to DO right now? Oh my gods did he just KILL EVERYBODY?!!! Okay ... can shwe just get the mask from him? Laudna: "YOU DICK!!!" Perception or Investigation ... oh yeah, she can find this easy ... she knows where it is, at least ... oh she is SO FUCKING MAD at him and I don't blame her AT ALL right now ...

Ashton takes another flying leap at Predathos and SWINGS AWAY!!! With a Chaos Burst ... nice ... BOOM!!! And that's A WHOLE LOT of Damage dice ... and now we're LOST ... oh boy ... O.O ... start again, then! Oof ... "Betrayus Doomseed" is throwing everybody off! XD ... 54 points? OKay ... And now a SECOND ATTACK ... O.O ... 25 this time ... oh yeah, he does A GENUINE FUCKTON of damage here ...

Legendary Actions ... Touch of Piercing Winter? Oof ... Sam: "You can tell how powerful attacks are by how many words are in their name." No shit ...

Imogen is now alone in the empty void ... so she starts looking for the other distant light ... okay, this might be SOMETHING ... go for that ... NATURAL 20!!! Nice ... yeah, she's just RIGHT THERE already ... yeah, this one's just A MESS ... Ethadoc the Endless Shadow? Okay, then ... holy fuck she rolled an actual ONE?!!! Sweet fuck, Laura ... O.O ... yeah, she's just ALONE IN THE VOID again ...

Predathos claws at Laudna ... and just destroys one of her Mirror Images instead ... phew ...

Chetney takes a couple of swaipes with Turmoil at Predathos ... BOTH HIT!!! Nice ... BOOM!!! BOOM!!! 59 points of Thunder damage in one round! Nice ...

Braius is still blinded ... he uses Lay On Hands to heal himself for 70 points ... but something only lets him get HALFD of that ... Predathos just EATS the difference, and instead it heals THE FUCKING MONSTER instead! Braius you fucking ARSEHOLE!!! So he Misty Steps away ... Labyrinthine Recall? Hmmm ... oh, will this NOT ACTUALLY WORK on Ruidus? Interesting ...

Fearne slaps the Imogen face with Mage Hand and tries to get through to her again ... Guidance! Oh for ... Ashley, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO US wit the unreadable dice? Oh ... wait, she actually GETS THROUGH TO iMOGEN?!!! Yes ... RUN TO THE LIGHT, Imogen! The chest of Predathos splits open ... IMogen pushes her way through? Fuck ... okay, so she's no longer trapped, in it, but it also means that now Predathos is entirely ITS OWN ENTITY ... oof ...

Mister shoots more Flaming Shit ... but misses! Balls ...

Dorian is ALSO still blind ... oof ... a 6th Level Cone of Cold? Oh that is BALLSY ... fuck that's a whole lot of dice ... 47 points of Cold damage! Nice ... yeah, it's really cool, but he doesn't see it happen ...

Orym runs in again and starts slashing away with Seedling ... more Hex! First hits, second misses ... third hits! Nice!

Predathos casts Telekinetic Vacuum at Dorian ... and he doesn't even see it coming! Oof ... then it just starts slashing at him ... oof ... and the second hit CRITS!!! Fuck ... oh thank you for THAT last minute rescue, Laudna ... yeah, this could have been SO MUCH worse ... now he's going for Orym instead ... fuck! Thankfully now he's rolling shite ... but it still hurts ... and now he's RESTRAINED ... Miracle Devour? Hmmmm ...

Well, at least Braius can see again ... and now he KNOWS they're all pissed at him!

Laudna tries to Mage Hand the Mask away from him ... YES!!! She got it! Beautiful ... oh, he's utterly flabbergasted ... oh ... oh Matt Mercer you BUGGER!!! Damn your rules lawyering! Oh my ... oh, so is Braius just their genuine ENEMY now? Okay so she just gives up on any subtletiy and just LUNGES AT HIM to try and snatch it away from him ... O.O ... NATURAL 20!!! Nicely done, Marisha! She gets the Mask! Oh wait ... everything's slowing to a crawl! Yes!

The Matron is IN THE HOUSE!!! "Let's talk." And Matt CALLS A FUCKING BREAK!!!

So Imogen's BARELY here right now ... not a good sign ... we'll just have to hope it's anchor enough for this ...

Okay, so this thing REALLY IS just out to eat THE GODS, then ... small mercy, at least ... so what ARE THEY going to do now?

Wait ... does Imogen want to USE Predathos as a shield AGAINST the gods? How's that even going to work? And yeah, OF COURSE Ashton's onboard for THAT plan ...

The gods STANDING DOWN ... that's an interesting idea ... and given the mood I'm nore sure all of them would NECESSARILY be against that idea ... okay, so why not just ASK the others?

Whoa ... the Matron actually LIKES this idea? Even more interesting ... I mean this plan does have a certain grace ...

So they need to beat Predathos down to give the gods time to make their decision, then? In other words the situation really hasn't actually CHANGED very much ... hmmmm ...

Laudna raises an interestign point ... DOES THIS make Braius their anemy? Is he a threat if they make this choice?

Okay, so they're really doing this ...

Two boons? Great ... oh, so they have a choice of possibilities ... so they have to PICK!!! But at least they get to CONSIDER the different options ... I mean they all sound pretty cool, but ... I mean Fortification should pretty much be a no-brainer ...

Yes. Good point ... we need to heal RIGHT NOW, anyway ... at least do THAT before you go back, guys ...

Lots of consideration ... weighing the options ... are they going to do this smart, hard, or just try to OUTLAST their opponent?

Sounds like Matt's getting impatient ... and now they're just ROLLING to pick who gets what ...

Fearne picks Convalescence ... roll 5 C6 ... 28? Restore THAT MANY spell slots? Nice ... and the whole party regains TWO LEVELS ... so the whole party LEVEL UP!!! Let's go!

So they're back in the middle of that shitshow ...

A bit more last minute leveling up housekeeping to be done ... hmmm ... I mean everybody's looking pretty good right now ...

Ashton just WALKS UP to Predathos while he winds up his swing ... Mark of the Messy End? Oh, this sounds interesting ... oh, wow ... fuck, that sounds proper SWEET ... so while he doesn't hit on his turn, looks like everybody else has a much better chance at it moving forward ... nice choice, Ashton ...

Imogen is FINALLY IN THE FIGHT!!! A 5th Level Lightning Bolt! Nice! Damn it ... a save? Balls ... so only half damage ... but she Transmutes the damage to THUNDER ... so it takes FULL DAMAGE!!! Fucking beautiful ... KRAKOOM!!! Yeah, that REALLY hurts ...

Chetney takes a couple of swings with Turmoil ... DAMN IT!!! No joy ... Blood Curse of Bloated Agony, then ...

Predathos uses Cerebral Shock Blight on Laudna... OOF ... sounds BAD!!! Thank fuck she mostly shakes it off ...

Braius is definitely squirming ... yeah, he's definitely IN THE DOGHOUSE right now ... he Misty Steps to Predathos and gets swinging ... Divine Smite! Nice hit ... but the second TANKS SPECTACULARLY ... oof ... that's what he gets for fucking around ...

Fearne Dimension Doors in and grabs his foot to cast Contagion! Okay ... balls, he saves against it ... so it's halved? Bugger ... Wait ... NEW BOOK rules? What fresh hell is THIS?!!! Bloody new edition ... so it's an all-or-nothing like Disintegrate? Balls ... so it just FAILS, then ... NOT FAIR!!! Damn you, Wizards of the Coast!

Dorian flits up again and hits him with a Chromatic Orb ... IT'S A CRIT!!! Sweet! Thunder damage DOUBLED ... 44 points! aND HE GETS THE HDYWTDT!!! Nice going Blue Boy! Robbie's BEAMING right now, I'm so happy for him!

Oh, so it's just MUSHROOMING into a great Ruidian glass mass ... and then he EXPLODES spectacularly ...

Wait ... what are you hinting at, Matthew? I really don't trust what he's getting at now ... yeah, what fresh hell is he about to unleash on us? It';s coming ... FUCK!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! It's a fresh mini!

Oh fuck what even IS THAT THING?!!! Oh my gods this just got SO MUCH WORSE!!! O.O ... NOW what do we do?

And THIS is where he chooses to call it a night? Mercer you MONSTER!!! Is it Thursday yet?

[scribbleshrimp]

Man I got to know how the story ends, it’s so personal to me I was in love with a guy who not only reminds me of Neil personality wise but even appearance wise. Do you have anything more written for it? All your platforms seem to be defunct and it makes me really sad

The original ending of the story is that they all died tragically young in painful ways because at at point in my life I could have never imagined a happy ending for me or the characters.

But now I have a pretty different ending which I consider 'canon'.

Mallory stops the morgue business and get's into art restoration instead, better use of her skills. Her insides are held together by resin and silicone and a bunch of other funky things that make her smell like oil paint but they are happy, even has a few friends (in person!!! wow!!!) , and reconnected with her father. Also Mallory no longer goes by Mallory! Cut out the 'Mal' part and just goes by Lorey now. Still has extreme CPTSD and is very awkward around people but...she is doing better. Lorey has been experimenting with weird hair styles lately, but always seems to come back to green after awhile. She has also been getting into mushroom foraging, 90% sure she ate a deadly lookalike at some point but she was....fine? Fun implications on what that means for her future. Either way she loves restoring art, and making art herself. She speaks to the paintings, and only misses talking to dead people a littleeee bit.

Efron took all his control issues and projected it onto having an absurd amount of pets. He can micro-manage a dozen terrariums as much as he likes and really enjoys the fact they are dependent on him. He also grew his hair out and ditched the pearls and sweater, any reminders of his mother is something he learned not to cling on to. Also got someee professional help for his identity issues? He realized that he is not in fact the next coming of christ, nor is he a gross reflection of his mother. Still has a massive eating disorder but all the animals are well fed to an absurd degree (lots of fresh/raw food which costs a lot but it's fine because Efron has a decent job now.) Efron is overall doing okay. Will probably never date anyone ever again, or even have close platonic bonds. Which is a bit sad but he is fine with it, he does not trust himself not to be manipulative for their own good. Maybe some more therapy would help him but he is the type to look down on most of the advice he is given, and he is content with his current lifestyle. Who says that he has to be normative to be fufilled?

Neil is... well he is dead. In the original escam at least he is. But now when I imagine him he is very very alive. Ironically he is a fucking school counselor now. He helps kids with planning their futures or hears out their petty drama and attempts to help sort it out. He also sometimes talks to kids who self harm, or are clearly seeking attention from.... less than ideal spaces. Sometimes it's like talking to a mirror of his younger self and that really freaks him out. He wishes he could shake these kids around and tell them that they should not be wasting their youth enabling predators or bonding with kids as equally messed up as they are over who can hurt themselves more. He is afraid he is not doing nearly enough to help them. But overall he is thriving in life. He has a boyfriend who treats him well, and that's pretty cool. He also has a full beard which is no longer patchy, and that's even cooler. He still feels depressed most days and is prone to mood swings but he is way more stable than he ever was in escam. The only part of himself he ever kills is the part that made him feel worthless.

[vivid-bad-bread]

first proper post on the pjsk alt has toya5 spoilers 🎉 (tl;dr, i was not fond of toya5)

i'm still processing toya5 because actually i find it hilarious that smth that was supposed to make me like sympathize with harumichi or whatever actually made me dislike him more. like. aita. do i just have parent issues. bc harumichi lore genuinely just made me go. cool now i know that you projected the EXACT mindset those street musicians had about their music onto your son but with classical music.

which is like. okay fine whatever. shitty parents do shitty parent things. but like the sad piano is telling me i'm supposed to feel bad and i'm just like. n. no? maybe it just hits too close to home with some of my own parent stuff but like hearing the sentimental music and having the general reaction be "wow there's so much we didn't know about harumichi" is like. i don't know.

but what really pisses me off is that the lesson colopale has toya take from this is "i need to remove my separation between classical and street music like my dad did for classical and most other music"...as if he's not unlearning a mindset drilled into him by his father? or at the very least a mindset that probably wouldn't be present in the absence of his father's abuse? (and yes that is in fact what forcing your child to practice piano until they get tendonitis is, don't start with me)

like yeah of course you separate street music from classical music. your dad demonized street music and street music represented an escape from your cage. we DID establish your need to reconnect with and accept that part of your life (classical music and needing to escape from it for your own mental health) in the first concerto. but my brother in christ that is just trauma processing. and if removing that line helps in that healing, awesome.

why is it the script making it sound like it's self-imposed. it's not your fault. you were a child. you technically still are a child.

idk if i'm just reading too deep into this bc of Personal Problems but...man.

at least the rest of the story was like. a nice slice of life. i still think we could've gotten toyabro and lloyd. and maybe had like. a full nyc slice of life focus with some important character info. then i might've liked it the same way that i liked sdsc (a slice of life focus where were learn about toya's curiosity and openness to new experiences). then maybe i wouldn't be lowkey seething and malding about how hard i feel they fumbled here.

anyway this isn't a "you have to dislike the event bc of how i interpret it" so don't treat it like one i just wanted to get my thoughts out because i've been trying to understand how i feel about this for like two days.

tl;dr (spoiler version):

harumichi lore made me like him less actually and sentimental piano cannot fix this

i'm hugging the fuck out of toya aoyagi

i need there to be a damn good reason we didn't actually See shuuji in this one

[noelledeltarune]

7,8,13 for mario or pokemon please please please i love reading your hater thoughts

7 : what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? i don't know.... i don't think there's any character i have it in my heart to hate solely because of the fandom.. mario specifically is something i've always been into in a very self-contained way because being a nintendo series with like 200 games will, by nature, give many people many different interpretations of the characters. and i have a very specific interpretation myself so if i disagree with something it doesn't really affect my own viewing of the characters? if that makes sense. i will admit though i don't really understand the geno hype. i have played most of smrpg but he hasn't really done anything noteworthy yet????? (i'm not DONE but i'm at like the cloud kingdom place where mallow found out he's a prince) and a lot of people ship him with mario but i just don't get it yet. idk if it's a fanon substance thing or if it's just my own fault for playing the game too sporadically to really pay attention to the original characters.. but i love booster. i love mallow. i love how mario and peach and bowser are written in the context of this specific game. but geno has just not wowed me. less of a "began to hate because of how fandom acts" but "fail to see the appeal despite how fandom acts". this will probably change but it's my biggest mario series confusion. what do you all see in him 8 : common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about on a light note i will say luigi autism mario adhd. i have always seen mario autism luigi adhd personally. this has never been a big deal i just think that the roles should be switched occasionally on the "mario bros autism-adhd solidarity" posts. on a more annoying but slightly related note people like to write that mario is more impulsive than luigi to a significant extent like "luigi has to hold him back from doing stupid shit" extent and that is WRONG. we are clearly not talking about the same luigi who just randomly slept on a magic bed in a resort's museum and jumped on a glowing magic artifact in the middle of a wedding and published a book about himself where he lied about every single detail and renovated his house to build a secret diary room that he then sealed after like a week... and has literally anyone ever seen mario do something and luigi try to hold him back from it. no he is god's #1 enabler 13 : worst blorboficiation YOU KNOW WHAT. honestly mario. luigi is treated like shit also but mario has it so so bad. like we all know luigi has it so bad but SO DOES MARIO and no one talks about it. he has silent protagonist syndrome where people go "no dialogue? time to project EVERY annoying trope onto him so i can make his dynamic with luigi really weird!" like not to quote my own post but.

it bothers me so much because people who are obsessed with luigi (SPECIFICALLY bowser x luigi fans) LOOOOOVE writing mario as this like extremely overprotective older brother figure in a way they JUST DON'T ACT LIKE in canon and it's SO BOTHERSOME. it's exactly like how people write sans with papyrus x mettaton and it's just so. aren't we all tired. aren't you all tired.

just. fandom be normal about characters who are twins for 2.7 seconds challenge IMPOSSIBLE. and it's hard to talk about mario's characterization without luigi's because a lot of it is linked to me but dear god there is no shortage of he would not fucking say that. and there's not as much of this now but like. MATPAT. has RUINED my LIFE. that stupid fucking mario is evil theory makes me so mad like NO THE FUCK HE IS NOT.

it might just be me being crazy but i feel like where luigi DOES get treated like an incompetent baby or really resentful/jealous or whatever he's just such a more widely written character than mario by virtue of often not being the player character / protagonist the same way. like with luigi there's always a sense of (barring a few obvious things) "i can imagine him acting like this under certain circumstances" (not always the way that he's portrayed but often enough comparatively) whereas with mario it's like. dude has 7 personality traits and you're fucking it up.

like did you even read the source material 😔did you play A mario game. once. i just feel like he has it bad in a way that's less surface level. like peach and bowser and daisy also get pushed aside pretty frequently and reduced to surface level characteristics but with mario it's like. that's the protagonist. and the surface level characteristics he's reduced to aren't even ones he actually has. NOT TO MENTION that he has a really bad case of post-movie adaptation characterization 😭 HE IS NOT THAT INSECURE. WHERE IS HIS WHIMSY. HIS SILLY SWAG. PLEASE!!!! IT'S ALL HE HAS!!!!!!!!

[bisluthq]

I mean...maybe Joe entertained a bit but as Taylor said in other songs a lot of it was projecting due to her past. She seems to have always been kind of possessive about him. Always thinking every woman who looked his way could be a threat. And again maybe he could never make her totally secure, but Taylor has always been like this and if you take into account her past relationships there was a baggage.

And as long as you don't work on that baggage, you're going to carry that with you and it doesn't matter how much the person tells you I'm not going to cheat on you, I'm not going to leave you. Like you always have that bug in your ear, but what if he did what if he gets tired of me. It was probably stressful for Taylor, but I imagine it can't have been easy for Joe either to constantly be accused off that.

At some point you probably feel like actually doing what she fears so she's right. And it's a bit of a self fullfilling prophecy. You keep thinking he will cheat, so if or when he does you're like yeah I knew it. It's exhausting to live like that for both of them. And Taylor is a bit of a flirt too tbf. At this time it's also ironic if she was still going on sets out of jealousy, yet the cheater was her 😬🥴 isn't there a saying that people who are so afraid people cheat is because they are the ones actually doing it?

yeah no I think it was exhausting for both and also absolutely she was projecting at the end lmao. Also lmao at the end I genuinely think she’d have been relieved if he’d cheated because it would’ve given her the moral high ground ykwim? And also why I think she’d have called it out directly not continued to say vague things about how he wasn’t trustworthy because she would’ve felt way less guilty in Guilty as Sin if he actually WAS fucking someone else (or even wanking to TikToks of other women). But yeah I think it just seriously sucked for both.

Again, this is EXACTLY like that situation my friend is in and my bf’s take is that she’s being super unreasonable because she literally views every woman who looks at him as a threat while being fairly flirty herself (she once like grabbed my bf’s ass and it freaked him out but it was in front of me and even if it wasn’t I don’t care) but she’s told me like it’s the fact that he’s never once even vaguely shut it down that bothers her. He leans into the attention and she fucking hates it. She actually contrasted it with my bf who, despite talking a big talk, gets VERY uncomfortable when other women flirt with him. To the point where like we were out one night (not the night of the big fight this was a while back) and I was being my jolly little self over at the bar and he was sitting at a table and a woman came over and came onto him quite hard and I saw that and my friends and I were like “wow that girl’s down bad” and that lasted like 30 seconds before he started gesturing at me very intensely and this girl ambled over to me and bought me a drink and started apologizing for “hitting on my man” and I was like “dude please that’s very flattering to me, if no one else wanted him then why would I” but anyway that was him shutting it down. Whereas that friend’s bf would’ve 100% sat there talking to the girl and it would’ve driven my friend mad. That’s how I imagine it was with T/J a lot. Like he just… entertained it and it would drive her nuts and make her feel less bejeweled.

[jaegersmoon]

saturn by sleeping at last is soooo ob jean coded.

"you taught me the courage of stars before you left" so jean despises himself atm but even then the courage it takes for him to get through each day is incredible, even if he doesn't realize it. i'm 87% sure you wrote that he was kind of a brat as a kid and marco helped soften his personality in a way, hence marco teaching him said courage.

"how light carries on endlessly even after death" i imagine that as he lets himself heal, he starts finding marco's light everywhere despite his life having ended.

"with shortness of breath, you explained the infinite / how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" marco's tripping over his words talking about this with jean, smiling and making gestures with his hands, expressing how grateful he is to exist in the same universe as jean.

"i couldn't help but ask / for you to say it all again" jean is smiling and nodding along to marco's talking and he's absorbing all if it, or at least he's doing his best to. he needs to hear marco explain it again, whether it's because he wants to memorize every word coming out of marco's mouth or just because he savors every second of hearing marco's voice (i'm telling you rn it's both).

"i tried to write it down / but i could never find a pen" despite wanting to engrave marco's words into his brain, his memory fails him regarding the specific wording (he remembers, but he feels he can't express it as poetically as marco). also he's just hanging on to every word marco forms, so typing marco's words down doesn't even occur to him. he's so incredibly present in this conversation.

"i'd give anything to hear / you say it one more time" exactly as it says. jean would give everything to hear it again, he would give his life to hear marco’s voice utter a single word (okay so this is a bit of a gray area because you can’t exactly recognize a person’s voice in death (that’s a lie it’s not a gray area jean would recognize marco’s voice anywhere. even if he were dead)).

“that the universe was made / just to be seen by my eyes” he really does need to hear this though. he doesn’t believe he deserves to lay eyes upon the universe anymore, his sense of self worth is so low and hearing this would make him feel so warm inside. that soft feeling creeps into his chest, even if he evicts it before it can begin to make a home there.

“with shortness of breath, / i’ll explain the infinite” now jean is talking to y/n. he’s short of breath for a few reasons. thinking about marco brings up a lot of memories and feelings which, you know, he may have been pushing away and refusing to deal with, so his chest tightens and suddenly it’s so much harder to get a word out. trying to convey this message as well as marco did to him while also making it unique to y/n uses a lot of his brain :( he kind of just forgets to breathe lol. and looking into y/n eyes or just her face in general makes his heart stop, his breath catching in his throat and his mouth drying.

“how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist” the slight difference between his and marco’s phrasing of this symbolizes him making these words his own, rather than simply regurgitating rhetoric (as i am so frequently guilty of). this also makes me think about when he said that, if the universe fucked them over and put them in different worlds, he would alter space until their worlds collided. not only is he telling y/n how rare and beautiful she is, but also how rare and beautiful it is that they exist on the same planet, at the same time, paths crossing. oh he’s down so fucking bad. kiss her, you fool.

okay sorry for the monster length wow just like jean fr!! ask 😭 i really would write a whole dissertation connecting this song to him and him to this song if i could. i am soooo normal about them haha they are so real to me. did a wee bit of projection onto jean and marco’s characters lmfao hope u don’t mind <3 also kinda wanna write smt similar with y/n and jupiter by flower face!! depends on if i get all mushy again and how you respond to this one 😭

love you <3

(P.S. SATURN. JEAN. HIS FAVORITE PLANET. I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS INTENTIONAL OR NOT BUT GOD I’M RIPPING MY FACE OFF THINKING ABOUT THIS. (same goes for y/n and jupiter. the one by flower face and the one by the marias. though i see the marias' jupiter as both of them talking to the other. whatever that's irrelevant rn.))

oh my god. no bc i have officially passed away now this has killed me <33333 it was so nice knowing all of you

the way so if you analyze my book and the characters so so amazing to me you have no idea

[cattus-sanctuarium]

It all starts with an interest in art that led me to make a online presence but like I lack all and any form of self starting intuition, especially for projects that aren’t mandatory work or necessary like eating or going to work so I basically never learned how to start things on my own because everything was always done for me.

So I sidetracked super hard and got into a mmo and had a really good friendship but self sabotaged it because of insecurities I wasn’t really all too aware of and my feelings towards having something ripped from me least me depressed for years and like fucked me up for better or worse.

Then I had this relationship with the loveliest boy, just the most caring and loving boyfriend one can ever have and surprise!!

I do it again: self sabotage out of personal insecurities led me to torture this guy to the point of being pissed at me cause I thought that was love. Turns outs my parent’s marriage being the only real example that I saw , wasn’t good! Now they are divorced and I miss him so fucking much but that’s just the fantasy in my head. I dream of the person I knew before all the crappy things happened. He is still around but he treats me like a stranger or less than I feel and it hurts.

I’ve been hung over him and that warmth because that was the first and only example I got of actual love. Everyone always tells me: you’ll find someone else and better!!!

But I don’t want to go find people

I just want him so bad I can never express it and on how much of an asshole I was to this guy 

I don’t think I’ll be bothering to search

I really don’t think I’ll find something like that again and I give in and up.

So here we are 19.02.24

Back where we started like where I was back in 2014-2017, I don’t like it. That feeling of being alone, that void in your chest that’s been very well illustrated time, and time again.

So here we are 27 alone, yearning, but not as stupid and emotional but still with love with my ex. 10 years pass and now I’m a transgender furry queer who dresses in very covering clothing all the time with a pregnancy and minor pet play kinks all stemming from a very depressed and paranoid boy who was such a pain to be around due to the sad statements I made my first real friendship with a guy avoiding people who is just so charismatic. Love that man platonically. I was/am a scumbag he knows.

It’s all really just hitting me here

Like all that cause I couldn’t motivate myself to start projects on my own but now like I was

Alone in my room with the faded yellow lights that’s still kinda white. High off weed and just like wow. I really ended up back at square one. After all that, it’s still me staring in that mirror.

Well there’s literally nothing I can do now to mend the past that I cling onto oh so desperately too or even look back. No where else but forward.

I know now I am more then capable to start projects on my own.

Well I think I’ll go get some cake at home

That’ll be nice

Even for just the moment.

And to think I did that whole roundabout just because I wanted to do art but just didn’t know how.

[stonedfrogreblog]

OK OMG- WOW

Ok about the self worth first- I actually had it already in my afterdeathcest canon he was straight up in denial and hating every part of himself for SUCH A LONG TIME bro wanted to just run away to "protect" both himself and them(from himself) and turned to fucking alcoholism- I PROMISE IT MAKES SENSE- and also Geno therapy arc is real- this boy needed so much therapy, Reaper actually got invited there (Istg I sound like a crazy person here but I promise that my little storyline makes sense ok??)

But yea even without his family "falling apart" he has BIG self woth issues LIKE BRO WAS CONVINCED HE WOULD DUST THE MOMENT HE STEPS OUT OF THE SAVE SCREEN And now he's sort of alive?? But now he can't even use blue magic or blasters???? LIKE THAT WAS HIS THING "THE ONLY THING" HE WAS GOOD AT he still believes he didn't do enough to save his timeline

About the "emo boyfriend"......... you know what's better than one emo boyfriend? TWO OF 'EM THAT'S RIGHT BABY- *gest stoned to death*

Oh yea we're totally not projecting onto a silly little fragile skeleton definitely not feeling like shit if we're not "productive" or can't do a "simple" task nu-uh

AND FINALLY- about his routine, Reaper definitely forced it onto him- also he keeps Geno's glasses and puts them on him every chance he gets, after a while of him putting them on and Geno putting them off 5 minutes later he resorted to glueing them on

EVERYONE STEALS CLOTHES FROM REAPER THAT'S WHY HE DOESN’T WEAR ANYTHING UNDER HIS ROBE

Omg also- is Goth blind in one eye or he just has only one eyelight visible? Cuz that would be so fucking funny if both of them had shitty depth perception and Reaper is the only one that can see clearly

ALRIGHT GATHER UP GANG LET ME TELL YOU WHERE BABIES COME FROM ABOUT GENO SANS' MAGIC

First things first, this is just my take on the silly man Geno is and how the void left him- he's an old man now (sexy old man at that)

1. His magic level. I like to play around with magic levels and how it efect the body and Geno has almost none left, magic comes from the soul and his is...... less then sufficient. The only attacks he can make are some bones, maybe one blaster at best if he's really into it. He can only turn someone blue for a few seconds and teleporting makes him very dizzy and he sometimes collapses if he uses too much magic. Anything to do with soul power is almost always off limits- and that gets me to my second point

2. Kids. In my little interpretation monsters can reproduce just by soul connection and the will to create another monster soul, sex is really just a sort of tradition to help synchronise the two monsters' souls. SO- GENO- YEA HIS SOUL CAN'T DO SHIT. (Going with the afterdeath ship cuz I'm obsessed with them recently) He needed Life (Reapertale Toriel) to help stabilise his soul to even make a child with Reaper😭😭😭 also yes that means that in my headcanon Reaper created Goth's soul and he is more of a "mom" than Geno, whatever that means for the god of death

3. Alright back on track- he is a walking chronic pain. When he stretches or twists too much his cracks on his chest can open up again and boom another shirt ruined, so he just walks around in bloody red t-shirts so whatever leaks out of him is less visible. His body is so fragile oh my god baby how are you even walking???? I bet his fucking joints crack and grind against each other when he walks, he got a routine to make it hurt less, get more flexible in the morning or whatever but that almost always causes his wound to open up and that's a whole another problem.

4. His eye- however you wanna see him either with the glitch or just melted eye, he has one eye you can't deny that. So already half of his vision is gone and the one eye he has IT'S JUST AWFUL. His eyesight is so bad😭😭 and he refuses to wear glasses most of the time so he mostly makes out what things are by colors IT'S WORSE THAN NIGHTMARE

5. Also not really a point 5 but can someone back me up he definitely coughs blood?(or whatever the fuck leaks out of him) Like- he has red streaks going down his chin imagine he laughs and then starts choking and coughing red

@someverygaymoth I summon you

[sunstar121]

wow, I just realised how much I self-project onto characters I love

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

A few days ago, I emailed my former professor about a paper on women’s food practices in the middle ages. At least, that’s what I told him it was about, initially. 

But actually, I wanted to discuss heresy. This professor teaches a women’s rights course every year. Every year at the beginning of the class, he calls attention to why he, a man, is talking about women’s rights. He looks us in the eyes and says, no one else is doing it, and I’m sorry it’s me.

This man made us read the SCUM manifesto, Gerda Lerner, Maria Mies. He grazed the subject of the Lesbian Sex Wars, delicately, so gingerly, posing the question: “Can sex work ever be just work?”  And my  (all woman) classmates, generally mute—in a Women’s Rights class, they all seemed averse to saying the word “woman,” at all. Then one woman raised her hand. and she said, “Sex work is real work.”  A statement that, as I hope you know, is a deflection and a discussion killer.  

At the time I was non-binary. Hah. I submitted a comic at the end of the year of my final project. My thesis for that project was this: the very language female people have to use for themselves was constructed by the patriarchy. for example, the english word “vagina” comes from the latin word for “sheath”. so the vagina invokes the act of penetration upon its utterance. Whereas the word “penis” has no clear etymological root, implying that it is original while the vagina is constructed for him. Why should I carry the fact that I will always be a tool, the hole, of the human that is man? My solution, at the end of the comic, was to continue using they/them pronouns, to shield myself from the horror of being a wo-man, a s-he—an appendage of Him. 

I got a good grade. A stellar report. And it wasn’t a bad comic, for what I knew then. For my condition of blindness and deafness. I made a compelling argument, using sources from class.  But oh, how much older I feel now. I’ve always felt old but now I feel almost like I’m dying. Like I don’t have enough time to fix the world before I disappear. And women’s stories never survive. They are not surviving. networks spring up like mycelium and then every century at least they are burned. Witchcraft is in the air shared by women in a room of their own, and witchcraft is doused in gasoline.

I don’t have enough time to explain how the veil lifted for me. Maybe I forget the big moment. the days after were a blur of searching the no-no tags like radical feminist, GNC, gender critical. Amazed at the wealth of journals that these women linked to with real statistics showing that children are being sterilized for no reason. Mostly gay children. like me, a lesbian, who now lives in a house with three  “non-binary afabs”. This summer, one of these women, who I have known since freshman year, will start taking testosterone, a procedure I took up  for three turbulent months during my freshman year of college. I get to watch her become what I turned away from, knowing the experience fractured my sense of self to a point of  terror and estrangement. I get to watch her hide from her problems and cut herself off from womanhood the way I did for 3 years. I am not a woman, so do I not feel Woman’s pain, she is telling me, I told myself, when I was in a dream.  She has so many problems, she laughs. But trans is a separate problem that has nothing to do with those other problems. A coincidence.

 (For any trans people reading this, you may think: This transtrender fake-trans never-was-trans woman is treating these nonbinary people as if they were dead! as if they weren’t happy people finally living their truth! —well. I put my mom through the process of trying to convince her that I should have always been a man. and I did lose her, for months. For her it was the height of cognitive dissonance that I should want to go on a life-altering hormone to cure my lifelong social awkwardness and self-hatred and self-harm and depression. And I blamed her for not accepting my real self. I was basically made to shun her and my family because of transphobia.. It is disrespectful to anyone’s sanity and integrity for me to perpetuate that cognitive dissonance in this post.)

So I eventually got through to the professor. I knew because of the texts he had us to read for class. He is gay.  He has read all the theory, and lives by it.  And no (woman) student wants to speak to him. To bring the theory alive. They cannot breathe into it and it sits dead in his mouth.

Maybe it is because he is a man. because the presence of one man in a space of all women immediately sends up alerts.  lockdown. Certainly that is the case. Radical Feminists here: I know he’s a man. But I don’t have a woman. And I felt on the strength of the texts he’d given us that he would be my best bet. Maybe somewhere in the corrupted, rotting heart of my college there was a person who knew about thoughtcrimes and was thinking them anyway.

My professor starts with diversion. He starts by talking about my paper. I find it disconcerting that he starts that way. I worry that he won’t want to refer to my email. Where I say: I have woken up from a dream to the apocalypse—Does this man think I’m crazy? Chipper and kind of frantically, he lists off  primary sources of medieval nuns and women saints. for my paper.  Does this man think I’ve turned into a bigot?  Am I confessing lunacy, like a flat-earther?

But I steer the conversation to the meat at his first tentative encouragement. I tell him something like: “children, mostly gay children, a whole generation of gay children, are being sterilized. Porn is a symptom of late-stage capitalism—men’s ownership of women’s bodies. trans is an extension of this. I was part of this. I was in a cult.” I was shaking a bit. I don’t think I’d uttered those words out loud. They sound crazy. Some of the things I said did sound far-fetched. disorganized, remote. But I prayed that my professor would believe some of it, any of it. 

 What I will say is that he believes me.  Thank fuck, right?

He tells me something along the lines of this, vocalizing my fears: 

that all of academia is being scrubbed of anything that doesn’t support Trans.

And it is trans-identified female students and women who are reporting him to Title IX, who spend all their time in his classes fuming at the lack of validation for trans women in the  history of women. My sisters, footsoldiers for the cause. What cruel irony. This man is holding onto this class by his fingernails, speaking through his teeth, hoping any of the twenty young adult women staring blankly or angrily at him will hear him and listen.

 Looking back, the professor’s responses to my emails are vague, completely refusing to acknowledge a point of view other than “WOW. I look forward to discussing this.”  I think he thinks he could be blackmailed. Anything he says on gmail dot com can and would be used against him. It’s like, really, really, really that bad. 

No ideology should involve a cultural cleaning of women’s history feat. witch hunts. 

I will end here with an excerpt from my first email to this professor:

I'm sure you know what a total bummer it is to realize this. 

[glassheartjukebox]

thigh highs

haikyuu’s reaction to seeing their crush in thigh highs

captains -> liberos

feat. daichi, oikawa, kuroo, bokuto, ushijima

“i slithered here from eden

just to sit outside your door” - from eden

a/n: just got a pair in the mail and i thought fuck it! why not project onto fictional men!

daichi

when you walked into the gym in your school uniform plus a new pair of black thigh high socks, his first reaction was “goddamn”

his second immediate reaction was PROTECT

he knows how noya and tanaka can get

and he doesn’t want to subject you to that

that’s definitely the only reason, he definitely doesn’t just want you all to himself oh no no

he approaches with his usual endearing smile

what is unusual is his bright red cheeks

you notice that as he talks to you, he’s leading you out of the gym

you humor him, choosing to wait until you’re outside to question him

“you’re acting weird. why are you red? why did you lead me out of the gym?”

his eyes widen, clearly trapped in his own dumbassery

“i just wanted to talk to you!” he replies

“that only answered part of my question daichi.” you said, clearly unimpressed

suddenly he was avoiding eye contact and rubbing the back of his neck

“honestly? i didn’t want noya and tanaka to freak out about the... new addition to your uniform.”

it all clicked right then for you

“is that why you were all red?” you teased

playing with the top band of your thigh highs you looked at him and asked, “do you like them that much daichi?”

why not tease a lil?

oikawa

oikawa is very observant, and immediately noticed the new thigh highs

“ooh what are these,” he smirked at you, gesturing to your thighs

you knew you looked good, and decided to play dumb

“oh! they’re thigh highs! my legs get a little cold during class and i found these at the mall. do you like them,” you smiled at him, feigning innocence

clearly expecting a flirty reply, oikawa stuttered a lil

“i- they look very nice! very fashionable!”

at this point, you were struggling to hold back your laughter

your oblivious response to his obvious attempt at flirting had clearly caught him off guard

and he had no idea to continue without sounding like a complete perv

you’d achieved the impossible: flustering oikawa

not only that, but he obviously liked them a little too much

you: 1, oikawa: 0

kuroo

flirty bastard part 2

not as smooth as oikawa usually is

you two already had a flirty banter based friendship, so this shouldn’t have been out of the ordinary for him

for whatever reason, the thigh highs almost made him go feral

but alas, kuroo is a man of self restraint

so, as he approached you, he looked from you thighs to your face and wiggled his eyebrows

“those are new,” he smirked at you

“wow, i didn’t know you payed that much attention to me kuroo. if i didn’t know better, i’d think you had a crush on me,” you giggled

he clutched at his chest, “you really know how to kick a man when he’s down. first wounding me by wearing those thigh highs then teasing me? you’re ruthless”

you both busted out laughing, and all of your friends rolled their eyes

you two were oblivious to each other’s feelings and insisted the other one was just teasing you

in the middle of some casual conversation, the morning bell rang

you bid your goodbye and went to walk towards class until kuroo grabbed your elbow

he leaned in right next to your ear and whispered, “by the way, i do really like those thigh highs kitten.”

bokuto

he. is. o v e r j o y e d.

“hey! y/n! i loved your socks! they make your thighs look great!”

he says this a little too loud, earning a very exasperated look from a akaashi

you give akaashi a sympathetic smile as a he splits from bokuto, clearly trying to save himself the embarrassment

by the time bokuto is next to you, you’re bright red

every enthusiastic, bokuto exclaims, “you’re so cute when you blush!”

he’s not trying to be embarrassing

but bokuto does not hide his crush well

mostly because he has no intention to you

he’s a genuine guy and he wants you to know his feelings for you are just as genuine as he is

“thank you bokuto,” you say softly

despite the embarrassment, you can’t help but give him a shy smile

he has no idea what he’s doing to your heart

“you already look pretty in your uniform but the socks make you look even better!” his smile is contagious and you begin giggling

in a moment of boldness, you get on your tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek

“thanks bokuto, i’ll be sure to wear them again tomorrow.”

now he’s the flustered one

ushijima

he hadn’t seen you yet today when he arrived to practice

the only reason he found out was because he heard goshiki talking about it

“y/n senpai was wearing the super long socks that hugged their thighs today! i didn’t think they could get any prettier!”

ushijima was intrigued, but he kept his mouth shut

instead he focused on practice until the thought slipped his mind entirely

however, you and your thighs took a front seat in his mind as soon as he stepped out of practice and saw you talking when your friends in the hallway

goshiki was right, they did make you even more attractive

the little bulge of skin that came over the tops of the socks was really screwing with his head

as soon as your friends departed, he approached

“ushijima, are you okay? you’re a little red, could you be getting sick?” there was genuine worry in his voice

tendou who had caught onto the situation snickered from the other end of the hallway and sighed, “ah, young love”

“no, i am fine,” he replied before adding, “i came over to tell you that you look very nice today.”

after that he departed without another word, leaving you flustered at the rare compliment he gave you

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