#and who knows?? maybe someone might hear idk but that's not my problem!
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âbut yours is better!â
pairing: luke danes coded [ grumpy]!matt sturniolo x lorelai gilmore coded [ sunshine ]!reader
inspo/creds: pls help me find the user who wrote luke danes coded!matt bc i know someone has written this !!
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as you sat in the diner, you could help but anxiously tap your finger against the rim of your mug, you knew matt would chastise you the second you walked up the counter begging for another cup of coffee. but you couldnât help it, there was just something so addictive about the way he made coffee. and maybe, just maybe, something in and about the banter the two of you shared, was addictive too.
you flash matt a sweet, charming grin as you tentatively step toward the counter, sheepishly sliding your mug toward him as he rolls his eyes, the ghost of a smirk toying at his lips.
âplease matt. please, please, please.â you plead as he sighs, he knows heâll serve you the coffee, hell he would serve you as much coffee as he could just to hear that content sigh that slips out every time you get a mug of mattâs coffee. he would do just about anything for you if you asked, but that didnât mean he wasnât going to reprimand you for the amount you consume or remind you how unhealthy coffee is for you.
âhow many cups have you had this morning alone?â he grunts, wiping down a dirty spot at the counter, purposely directing his focus and scrubbing at a dirty spot that didnât exist just so he doesnât cave or melt the second he looked into your eyes.
ânone.â you lie, hoping he would just overlook it and fill your mug with what you think is the smoothest and coziest thing this world had to offer.
âplus?â
âokay, five, but yours is better!â you grovel, batting your eyelashes at the man across from you, and you can see the corner of his lips twitch before he turns around, grabbing the pot of coffee before turning back to you,
âyou have a problem.â he scoffs, watching you shrug, chuckling at him as he rolls his eyes playfully and crosses his arms, ignoring the one annoying customer, who happens to be his brother chris, waving him down in the corner.
âyes i do.â you admit, not an ounce of shame or regret written on your face as you slide the mug across the steel counter, and he sighs before hooking his finger over the rim of your mug and pulling it to him, filling it, watching as you dance happily before taking the mug with a cheeky grin on your face.
âjunkie.â he hums, shaking his as you take a sip of your coffee, smiling at him as you swallow it, and he tries to ignore the shiver it sends down his spine.
âangel. you got wings baby.â you laugh, thanking him in your own weird and endearing way, and the pet name sends a warm tingle through his body as the tips of his ears turn pink, and youâre none the wiser to the way you make the usually grumpy and stoic man who canât tear his eyes away from your retreating figure feel and melt the second you flash a smile his way.
god he was helplessly in love with you. the way matt loves you, is the way you love coffee, it was as if you were his own version of coffee personified. warm, inviting, and all consuming. you had such a vibrant, hard to ignore yet hard not to love personality. and he was hooked on you, he has been since the very first time you stepped through the door all wide eyed and curious, while demanding all the attention in the room. he would fill every mug at his disposal with coffee, if it meant you had all you needed to be happy.
STARâS CORNER a possible intro to a lil au that i might continue !!
and honestly idk why i wrote this, i just love when people compare matt and luke and say that mattâs luke danes coded bc theyâre so right, and tbh it combines my two special interests.
#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo smut
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my brain is constantly abuzz and the memories of feelings from when I first started experimenting are all flooding back
#I keep looking at my bio and almost crying#this is a lot#it's something I've probably wanted to do for almost 10 years now#but I've been too afraid#I'm still too afraid#but now that some switch inside me has been flipped it's like I can't be stopped#and yet. I have no fucking clue how to actually come out lmao#it feels easier to post to tumblr cause like. idk it's like shouting into the void#and who knows?? maybe someone might hear idk but that's not my problem!#am I asking for someone to validate me? maybe! I don't even know#maybe I'm just validating myself first by putting it out there somewhere#I never thought it would start happening so fast but I don't think my brain will allow me to slow down#it might self destruct from the pressure lol#Wired talks
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see too many ppl still defending jdepp or running with the "mutual abuse" angle so here's a video presenting basically all the (publicly available btw! for anyone to be able to look up!) information on this case. Let it be known if you still support jdepp i am assuming you have never done a grain of research into this in your life and just ran with public opinion and misinformation
#amber heard#r.txt#debating on whether or not i should send my siblings this video bc they're a) pro-jdepp b) saying it was mutual abuse or c) don't know#whose side to be on anymore after previously being pro-jdepp. but like i'm convinced they haven't actually ever done any research to base#their opinions on bc once you know all of this it's pretty obvious that amber was the victim in the situation but i don't want to offend an#of them by implying they haven't done their research. which would also be rlly disappointing bc why are u saying shit abt this topic if you#haven't properly informed urself LIKE. just say u don't know in that case instead of just going with popular opinion no. 1 aka pro-jdepp or#popular opinion no.2 aka it was mutual abuse blah blah they were both toxic af blah blah. anyway it would be rlly random to just send them#the vid and they probably wouldn't even watch it bc it's 2 and a half or so hours long and i just KNOW they're gonna be like i am not gonna#waste my time on smth i don't care that much abt or whatever. maybe the eldest will watch if i send bc he's already someone who watches#videos even if they're long asf i think he doesn't have a problem with the runtime but it's likely they don't think it's worth investing#time into or that they don't care abt rich famous people that much that they'd watch 150 minutes of info abt said people but at the same#time he's most likely to be open to other opinions. the second eldest is SO not gonna watch the vid bc it's too long but even so there is#still a chance she might at least watch a little of the video bc she is the one that was pro-depp before but said she doesn't know anymore#now. the third eldest is probably least likely to watch bc again it's a long vid and i don't think he'd watch + idk if he's that open to#hearing abt a different side. like this isn't specifically a pro-heard video it's at its core a video documenting depp&heard's relationship#and giving you all the relevant information in an orderly put togethet easily overseeable way but bc the evidence so clearly speaks to ambe#being the victim it is essentially also pro-heard but that's bc IT'S SO EASY TO SEE THAT SHE WAS THE VICTIM IF U ACTUALLY PUT THE EFFORT IN#TO READ UP AND CONNECT THE DOTS IN THE PUBLICLY AVAILABLE DOCUMENTS ARGHHHGGHH#anyway. maybe will send the video maybe not idk it does piss me off that they seem to have not put in research of their own before coming t#a conclusion abt this case and i want them to have the information and i also just want them to know where i'm coming from when i say i'm o#the sure opinion that amber was the victim in this case and that i HAVE done my research into this when the case was around and i'm not jus#talking out of my ass and being extremely feminist to a fault or wtvr ppl are saying#depp v heard#video#there is a pt 2 and 3 to this btw they're also good but pt 1 is the most information abt the case itself during the time they were together#while pt2 is more history of the hatred towards amber heard that was arouns since the beginning and jdepp's violence in life and love +#substance abuse issues and pt3 is more abt the most recent 2022 trial and why that was an unbalanced trial to begin with (jdepp literally#has an estimate of 150 million dollars at his disposal to use and amber heard has an estimate lf 500k. one of many unbalanced things in this#trial) & also discussing why so many ppl jumped on the hating amber heard bandwagon so readily. still both good vids that i'd recommend
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hey aros/aces of tumblr has anyone else figured out to express the sentiment "I hate it when people complain about being single to me" to allos without them launching into the perfectly valid ways in which they are unhappy with their singleness or conflating "complain about being single" with "talking about dating or being attracted to anyone."
#tempted to just make it i hate it when people complain about being single to me because if you're not happy single#you won't be happy in a relationship. bc that's more acceptable than being like. yah its bc im aromantic#like i get it i get it it's a big thing! its a valid complaint! making it to me is the equivalent of talking about how much you hate kids#to someone who has kids. im glad i tested expressing this opinion to my good friends first before letting it Breach Containment#maybe like i hate it when ppl try and commiserate with me about being single. although that does exclude just the person who complains abou#being single and then when you offer possible solutions they reject all of them and like. alright fuck me do you really want a partner or n#although i might be having an autism moment there and that one is also. commiserating. which explains why im ok w my more autistic friends#complaining bc they mean what they say. bc like if i can't relate to ur emotions. at least let me fix problem#aro#ace#aroace#idk like i'm fine with hearing about my friends dating lives crushes funny moments etc. love that! love that for them#want 2 be up to date on the lore. but when it starts being 'you know how being single is the worst thing in the world' like nope! not me!#please you are making me so uncomfortable do you know how long it took me to accept that i don't want what you want?#do you know how much it hurts that you think i want something that i would never be happy in?
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been debating on what to say for longer than i've expected, going anon for this ( although i mayyy suspect you may already know who i am just by my writing style but- welp! xd ) ; if i say anything even remotely wrong, you are free to ignore this ask /gen
you're enough. i think one big step is learning you don't have to be enough for everyone else because it's impossible to do that. you can't please everyone, you can't not please everyone aswell ; 8 billion people in the world, it's almost destiny that atleast 100 of them will be bothered by your existence, and other 100 will not.
although, it's okay to feel that way. it's okay to feel like you have to please everyone, to feel like you have to make everyone happy, to feel worthless if that's not the case. it's okay and you're allowed to feel that way. you are not to blame for feelings that you cannot control.
i won't say i understand, but as a fellow people-pleaser, i can say that i can atleast get the feeling. and i want you to know that it's okay. feel free to open up, to be vulnerable, to cry, to feel worthless, to feel like you're not good enough, to feel like your entire existence is entitled to only making people happy - you're allowed to feel all of those things and more. that's okay.
embrace those feelings instead of shoving them away, be kind to yourself by allowing yourself to just feel. it's okay.
it's so easy to just say you're worth, but you're not gonna believe me if i say you are. so i ask you to say those things to yourself instead, and the multiple times you feel like that's just luck, or you're being a fraud ; that's when you know you're doing great. that's when you know you are worth much more than what that voice in your head tells you.
your worth as someone is much more than what your acchievements tells you ; accept yourself as someone who is allowed to feel, to mess up, to regret, to cry, to be successful, to be kind to oneself, to feel and be all of those things and more.
that can be quite hard to do, but look how far you've gotten. you're still here, aren't you? easier said than done, i know. and it won't get easy, not even one bit - but, and i mean it genuinely : you got this. you genuinely got this.
not sure what to say anymore, so i'm just gonna say that i'm here if you wanna talk. my dms are open for you , and i will be there to give my support to you just as much as i can.
<- sincerely, a moot.
...
hey. thanks. /gen
I'm surprised that you even bothered to write out the message. it's odd because I had a weird thought of "they'll just ignore it"/"I want someone to notice this."
I'm still here. Yeah. That is something.
(Holy shit you made me cry with this /gen /pos)
I think I've grown relatively desensitized to people caring about me (not because of them, but because I've truly forgotten what it's like to have someone actually comfort you, especially when said person barely knows you.) but I seriously, seriously appreciate people (like you!) that bother to send me messages like this.
it does help make things better. like- seriously.
(still somewhat in shock because why would anyone care about how I'm doing and take time out of their day to write or do anything for my sake?) but I want to say this did make me feel a lot better. not okay, but a lot better. /gen /pos
be kind to yourself. now hang on a minute didn't I write something literally about this-
oh. i guess i'm just not taking my own advice.
#ghost's smol ask box#ghost vents to the void#for the record: yeah. i do know who you are. most likely.#and i want to thank you. i know i did but thank you. thank you.#my blog is currently titled as âimposter syndrome. stop coming in uninvited.â and it sums it up pretty well#it would be so easy to just tell someone to stop. like snap your fingers and suddenly you can internalize the fact that#you are enough and you deserve everything#but it isn't as easy as just saying it to someone#it's so easy to judge people who have a depleted sense of self-worth from an outsiders perspective#and go: âpsh- why is this person bending over backwards to please everyone? they are clearly good enough.â#âall of the validation they could ever get is right there in front of them." (even if it's more complicated than that)#*cough cough*#i might not just be talking about me here. there's a certain someone who this also may or may not apply to (try and guess who)#problem is: even if the whole world tells you that you're good <- highly unlikely you'll still see yourself#as undeserving and worthless and everything inbetween#validation/approval addiction is very much a thing and even at the end of the day you KNOW you can't please everybody#you still try even though it's a lose-lose situation at the end.#oopsies i turned this into rambling lol currently trying to get back to writing on ao3 but i'm contemplating deleting all the things#people might not like or might be sick of.#...OH NO-#did the new episode teach me NOTHING đ#but i'm being serious. this takes so long to try and untangle. especially when your entire life feels like to please people for your worth#maybe i'll write something about it. idk.#it's really hard to be kind to yourself. but I'm trying. /gen#i wish younger me can hear this. they seriously need this.
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It looks like maybe tumblr community is like a cross between a separate tumblr feed and a discord server? But without separate channels? Idk what functionality that serves for me in particular, but I guess if there's interest I could request a community for people who want to use my patterns and want to ask more questions about them? Or a community for crafters in general, but I don't think I'd want to have my crafting posts be locked into just one section of tumblr
What's the tumblr community thing those ads are for?
#the person behind the yarn#I think I like the idea of this and would join some communities maybe#but idk that I want to make my own#I might? if there's a theme for a community y'all would like me to start?#but to be honest I really like posting whatever's in my head here because I never know who will read it#who might happen to be an expert in the exact thing I'm asking about#or someone might see my post that happens to love the same weird book we both read as kids#or might know how to fix the same problem I'm having#idk I love the friendly strangers I get to talk to and hear from here on tumblr#and I know some of you are shy and some of you find too much socializing overwhelming#so idk if a community would be too much socializing pressure
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Chapter 3
Yandere Psych Patient König x Nurse Reader
Warning: Possesive, Obsession, Death, Gore, Blood, Smut, Toxic behavior, age gap.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
(This might suck idk. I don't know German so it's all Google translate)
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He hasn't left his room for a month. They kept him in their with the straitjacket on. His meals are just vitamins that he has to swallow. You would go in to check up on him, but new orders from the administrator's to not go near at all, so you pass by his room. You would peak through the little window and see him laying on his back with little no to motion on his arms or body entirely. His psychiatrist, Dr. Smith is the only that goes in there. They have sessions in his room instead of the usual spot they have it in.
She was pissed at everyone, specifically you. You are her punching bag, even though it was Ben's fault. "Why hasn't he been given his meds!" She yelled at you.
"We are not allowed to go i-" you tried to explain your her, but she could care less.
"You are his nurse right! Your job is to give him his meds! How did you graduate when you can't even do that!" She yelled at you.
You plead for her to listen to you "I'm sorry, Dr. Smith. I can't it's Mr. Millers orders. No one can go in except you because you are his psychiatrist."
So she strolled her way to the administrator's office.
Ignoring his assistant from telling her that she can't go in. Slaming the door open to see him sitting on his chair, writing whatever cral he writes on paper.
"Sarah calm down!"
"Do you have any idea how dangerous he is, and you want me to deal with him alone! On top of that the lack of guards is making my job harder!" Dr. Smith argued with a hand on her hips and her finger pointing towards Ben.
"Do you remeber when you wanted a nurse to look after him." She rolled her eyes. Yes, you, the nurse. "Do you have any idea how much money is going towards her. Triple the pay for looking after him."
Her hands swing in motion, showing her frustration. "She can't even do her fucking job Ben!"
"If she's alive, then she's doing her job well. What's making this hard, is you barging into my office and telling me what to do when you are the one demanding this." He stood up from his chair, fixing his navy tie. "We're loosing staff. People don't want to go near him. Gabriel is threatening to sue the company. Gaurds are quiting left and right so sorry that there aren't enough staff attending your needs."
She crossed her arms with an annoying sigh leaving her lips tinted with red lipstick. "Then hire more people, I don't see the problem?"
"Did you not hear what I said" he walked towards her, standing toe to toe to her. "Majority of our budget is going towards (Y/n). She's been here for two months now, lasting longer than any other nurses. We can't afford another hire with the same pay to deal with König. Besides he hasn't actually killed anyone in those two months, I'll take that than dealing with someone who has a broken jaw from a simple punch."
"Then ask for more money." She scuffed like if it was a joke she said.
He laughed at her face, "Do you think the government cares to fund more for this place, I already have the staff on my ass for new medical supplies, do you think they are gonna hand me the budget to hire someone with triple pay just because you are scared."
"Then fire (y/n) and hire a new guard, maybe someone with military experience."
"Why would I do that. You came into my office, spreaded your legs cause you were so desperate for a nurse and now you want me to fire her. She hasn't done anything in particularly wrong."
"She doesn't follow orders!"
"She does, you just make it difficult." He came in defense.
"Wasn't she trying to stop you from putting him into a straitjacket?" She smirked while her arms crossed at her chest.
"Yes, and she was right. Putting him in a straitjacket does nothing. He was fine it's just that..." he closed his eyes taking deep breath.
"Just what?" She came closer to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, gently caressing it.
He turned his head to her, he used to lovy dovey with her seduction, but now it's more annoyance. "Eli, the other guard, came to my office the other day and told me that Gabriel was provoking König."
She rolled her eyes, looking around his office. Paying attention to the paintings hanged up on the wall and the light objects he has on his desk. "Like what? Making fun of him? We all make fun the people here what else is new?"
"I don't know the full details, but that's what he told me." He sat a bit on his desk.
"Why does that matter?" She shook her head without a single thought in her brain.
"Gabriel is threatening to sue us. If we fight the legal action, we'll have to defend König. König, just like any other patient represent us, our care. If they find out that Gabriel was the one that caused this, making König the victim it doesn't look good after we placed him in the straitjacket. Like we silencing him out. It will ruin our reputation, we'll all loose our jobs and you fucked your way up here for nothing."
"But he harmed a worker, beside murdered multiple people." She let out a little chuckle, placing her hand on his chest.
He didn't give in, instead, he gave her a stare. "He's ex- military and as for you being his psychiatrist, you'll have to speak on behalf of him. Meaning that people will find out about you, how you never studied to become a doctor you fucked every professor you had to get your degree."
"What are you saying, Ben." Her smile dropped.
"I won't fire (Y/n). She stood up for König, making us look like we care about our patients. As for Gabriel, all he's asking is for some 20,000 thousand dollars, which we can easily give him worth than standing infront of the judge. Which means that we can't afford new guards for you. Besides they're taking off his straitjacket today, so stop being so scared and do your dam job."
"I still think you should fire, (Y/n) atleast." She hummed, wrapping her arms around his waist.
"I'm not doing that. Beside she's the only staff that doesn't barge in here demanding stuff. She nice and sweet...." he looked down to the side, " and...young and beautiful. "
She let go of his waist, clenching her jaw. Yes, you being so beautiful. "So what? You want to fuck her? Is that it. Never head young pussy before?"
"You should leave, I have work to do and so do you. This discussion is over." He walked to his desk, sitting down on his chair, unbutton his last few buttons from his dark, navy, blazer.
She stormed off his office, angrly stomping on the white tile floors with her heels creating a louder noise.
You heard the word going around that their taking of his straitjacket, so you quickly gathered what you need to check him up. You saw as the guards took off. He let out a big stretched, flexing more of his muscles. It caused a scare to the guards like a lion letting out a roar.
You walked up to and saw more of his face. He stared at you.
He missed you. He never thought he would miss you. During that month of not seeing you was a time he contemplated about you. Are you made for him or not. He will shut his eyes and images of you will pop up. You smiling at him. Taking good care of him. Watching you squirm under him as you take his full length cock inside your pussy. He'll treat you with respect as long as you do what he says that's all. Seeing your belly swell up with his baby. Can't wait to fuck your tits filled with milk. Can't wait to impregnate you with multiple of his children, making one big happy family. How protective he'll be for his kids, for you. To stand up to the bullies, to show them not to be scared of anything. To hold them if they cry.
He should kill you for making him react this way. He should just kill you. You are just another nurse thinking they have control over him. He use to give orders to people, being the colonel and all, he got the respect he fought for, why does he feel weak around you. You are so sweet and joyful to him. If he was back in the field and saw you, would he kill you. Or maybe fuck you. Maybe that's it. He hasn't done it in so long, so long he hasn't touch a women. He should've just fucked one of the other nurses. Yes, maybe he should do that. Fuck a nurse, just to see. I mean what's the harm in that.
"Aah...yes. right there ngh.... yes...oh fuck that feels good."
The sound of König's footsteps were low that they couldn't hear over the sound of skin slapping against eachother. Watching a men fucking his girlfriend on his bed.
"Does your boyfriend fuck you like this?" Slaming her ass back and forth on his cock.
"Ah....a-aah....he-..he could barley...make me- fuck!..mmgh....wet." She grip the bedsheets hard while he kept pounding her.
No. No. He can't. Not you. He can't. He can't betray you like they did. He can't imagine the face you'll make if you know he fucked another girl. No he should be pure to you. You should be the only one he touches.
He needs you. Okay, it's done. He'll make you his and you'll love him. You'll love him and care for him. Rather you like him or not it's done.
You wrapped the cuff around his bicep and squeeze the bulb reading the numbers on the circle, writing it down. Doing the usual things you have studied for. As you were checking his heartbeat, he reached up which caused you to flinch a bit. His index finger, gently, caressing your cheek. Your back was turned to the guards, making it hard them to see what's going. You stared at him as he touched you with such charisma. His thumb reaching to your chin, hovering over your lips. He placed the tip of his thumb on your bottom lip, gently pulling it out a bit.
You shouldn't have this feeling at the pit of your stomach. You couldn't tell of you didn't smack his hand away because you are scared or because you enjoy it. You never had this much attention, not like this.
"I don't have time to argue with you (Y/n)! Go to your room!" The little girl tuged at her moms shirt.
"Where's daddy?" She felt tears running down her face as her mother poured more wine into her glass, already finishing up the fresh new bottle.
"(Y/n)! Seriously go to room! You are such a headache! Why couldn't your father take you with him! Nauseating!" She dranked the entire glass, slamming the cup on the table.
"Where's daddy?" She said one last time not letting go of her blanket. The same blanket her father got her when she told him she was cold.
"HE LEFT! HE LEFT US (Y/N)! LEFT US FOR THAT BITCH! AND NOW I'M STUCK HERE WITH YOU. HE RUINED MY LIFE. I COULD'VE DONE SOOOO MANY THINGS! But no! I'm stuck to take care of a brat!"
He palmed your cheek, feeling your warmth. He went in closer to you. You could feel his hot breath, quicken as he got closer to your lips.
You pulled back, "I shouldn't- we shouldn't. I mean." You whispered to him.
"Mein liebling (my darling)." He whispered to you. The first time he spoke to you. You couldn't understand him, but he spoke to you. "Du bist mein (you are mine)." He pulled you closer to him, he didn't care if the guards were staring, if anything, he enjoys it. To show everyone that he is yours to touch. "Mein schatz (my sweetheart)," his lips were hovering yours, you felt a little tingle at how close he was.
You know this shouldn't happen. You turned your away from his. You walked back, feeling his grasp letting go. He stared at you witch a smile on his face. You saw the smile he gave you.
When your shift ended and went back to your apartment, the thoughts of what happened lingered into your mind.
That night, you couldn't sleep. He was in your dreams. What if you never pulled way. Were you really going to kiss him. You glazed over the parts where he touched you.
You searched the words he said to you to translate it. Sweetheart, darling, mine.
You felt the butterflies in your stomach again. You never felt so complicated before.
Having a crush on a patient.
You have a crush on König.
#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#cod x reader#fanfic#konig x reader#yandere konig#yandere könig#konig#könig x y/n#könig x reader#könig cod#könig#könig mw2#könig call of duty
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um um um Eve I had a bad day today and I was wondering if you could (please feel free to ignore me if youâre not interested or Iâm annoying!!) write something about some of the windbre boys showing off their chubby gf đđŒđđŒ they can get smutty or stay wholesome, whichever is easier for you. Maybe ume, togame, sakura, endo, and hiragi? Idk if thatâs too many people. I hope youâre having a great day!!
Authorâs Note: Hi, Anon! Iâm sorry to hear you had a bad day,and even though Iâm fulfilling this request a few days late (sorry!) I hope that the little piece below makes you smile even a little bit. Iâm a thick girl myself, so I love when writers talk about readers' curves, rolls, cellulite, big asses, BREASTS, BIG THIGHS (oh my). Also, please donât say youâre annoying because you arenât and never could be, babe đ. Sorry for not writing for Endo yet (I still havenât gotten to him in the manga!). I enjoyed writing this. Sakura, please marry me!
Content Warning: Made with fem! reader in mind :) Reader x Haruka Sakura, Reader x Hajime Umemiya, Reader x Toma Hiragi. It's fluffy, except Hiragi does try to sneak something inappropriate in there. Also, tw: for body insecurities.
Word Count: 892 (itâs not about size, itâs what you do with it!)
Dividers by Saradika
Haruka Sakura
Quite frankly, Sakura is tired of your bullshit tonight. Youâve been acting out of the ordinary, hiding behind him, avoiding eye contact with others, and talking barely above a whisper.
âWhat is wrong with you?â His dual-colored eyes search yours for any indication of what might be your problem.Â
âYou havenât given me shit all night, and itâs startinâ to make me nervous!â
You briefly let out a small laugh, but itâs so barely detectable that Sakura canât savor the sound.Â
You open your mouth but avert your eyes from him. âIâŠIâm being dumb, but I donât like the way this dress feels on me. I shouldnât have worn it, and now people are s-staring at meâŠâ
Sakura looks around at the packed bar. Sure, he notices glances, but he knows what itâs like to be looked at as though youâre shit on the bottom of someoneâs shoe, and thatâs not what heâs seeing. He leans closer to you, his face so close that you can see the individual hairs of his eyelashes.
âLook at me. Everyoneâs looking at you because youâre fucking gorgeous, and if someone did have anything to say about your dress,â he pauses, âmy new favorite dress, Iâll kick their fucking asses!â
You look up at Sakura in pure adoration, love, and devotionâfeeling the insecurity wash away as he looks down at you as though you are the only person in the entire world that mattersâand to Haruka Sakura, thatâs the case.
âThe man that you are, Haruka.âÂ
Hajime Umemiya
You stand nervously in the bathroom of Cafe Pothos as you splash cool water on your face. You feel on the verge of passing out as anxiety grips your throat and chest, making it hard to breathe.
Quick but soft knocks at the door break you out of your panic attack, and Umemiyaâs soothing voice reaches you, âY/N, my friends are here. Are you ok, babe?â
You are not ok.
Youâve been dating Umemiya for months, and everything had been perfect until he planned a meet-n-greet with his friends. Residual insecurity from partners who were cruel after their friends disapproved of you and what you looked like set you into a spiral that you couldnât break out of.
But itâs now or never.
You pull open the door and give him your best attempt at a smile for someone who was just having a panic attack in a public restroom.
Umemiya knows exactly whatâs going through your mind without you having to say it, and despite his constant praise of you, he understands that sometimes actions are far more effective.
He grabs you by the hand and pulls you into the central area of the cafe, where all of his friends sit. You want to crawl into yourself as all eyes are on you, but before you shut down, Umemiya speaks first.
âGuys! This is my girlfriend, Y/N. Please donât embarrass me in front of her; she thinks Iâm cool.âÂ
Hiragi offers a kind smile, âWell, sheâs going to be disappointed because thereâs not a cool bone in your body. Nice to me ya, Y/N. He talks about you all the time.â
Your eyes get wide as you look up at a blushing Umemiya.Â
âReally?â
Someone you recognize as Tsubakino chimes in, âAll the time, and who can blame him when youâre so cute?â
âHey, guys, leave the complimenting my girl to me, please. Not trying to have you steal her.â
You feel Umemiyaâs hand squeeze yours, and your shoulders relax as you wonder what you were worrying about to begin with.
Toma HiragiÂ
Hiragi sighs heavily as he listens to the continuous chatter of Umemiya who is giving a long-winded update on the state of horticulture efforts across North America. Itâs a random topic, but Umemiya is in hyperfixation mode, and thereâs no stopping him once he gets started.
Youâre sitting with them, trying not to let your mind wander in case thereâs a pop-quiz on the subject.
Hiragi looks at you and rolls his eyes with a smile; you manage a barely silent giggle in return.
Twenty minutes pass, and the torture ends; as Umemiya squeezes out of the booth and you stand up to allow him to pass, Hiragi follows suit, placing a hand on your stomach and giving the soft flesh a gentle squeeze almost on instinct.
Your face heats up because surely Umemiya saw that, but if he did, he says nothing as he waves goodbye to you both.
You quickly turn to Hiragi once Ume is out of sight, âToma! Whyâd you do that!?â
His brows furrow in confusion at your sudden outburst, âdo what?â
âYou grabbed my stomach in front of Ume and it was NOT an innocent grab!â
âThere you go, being a pain in my ass again. What are you talking about? Ume knows youâre curvy, everyone knows, and Iâll be damned if I let you police my squeezing of you in public.â
âYou are an undeniable pervert that should be on a list with other perverts!â
He shakes his head and pulls out his gas-kun10. For someone that he loves beyond a shadow of a doubt, you still somehow manage to stimulate the wrath of his poor digestive system.
âYou owe me for that smart-ass remark, girl. You can sit on my-â
âTOMA!â
#wind breaker#windbreaker#wind breaker fluff#windbreaker fluff#hajime umemiya x reader#umemiya hajime x reader#hajime umemiya#hiragi x reader#hiragi toma x reader#toma hiragi#haruka sakura x reader#sakura haruka x reader#haruka sakura#tw: body image#tw:body insecurities#anon fulfilled#anon#request
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Soulmate Garden AU Ch.2 (Anemone) a3d2
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[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]
Concept: Growing up, you knew Soulmates weren't all that they cracked up to be. So when, on your 18th birthday, your skin is painted with a garden of flower buds, you resolve to hide it from everyone. Who had ever heard of someone with 8 soulmates, anyway?
Or; Reader has 8 soulmates and no issue avoiding all of them. It's up to SKZ to show her that while every soulbond might not be made of fairy tales, theirs certainly could be.
Word Count: 4,218
Notes: I don't feel like the summary completely matches this story anymore. I'm also not really satisfied with this chapter, but I'm too tired to really get into a whole bunch of drafts and edits, I've just really been feeling poorly lately. The archive is for writing progress anyways, it's fine. I'll probably rewrite this whole chapter if I ever get to where I'd be comfortable posting finished versions to Ao3. I'm also just not fond of my writing style somehow. It feels too formal, doesn't flow enough. Problem is that I really talk like that lmao. Idk, I'll figure it out.
Dividers by @saradika
Warnings: She/Her Reader
Leave me comments or questions or anything! Love hearing from folks <3
Masterlist <3 | Prev Part | Next Part
Bangchan clambered into the van behind Felix, Minho and Jisung loading into the row in front of them. It always felt a bit weird to not spend some time swapping seatmates around based on who was clinging to who at the moment, but on days like today it was easier to just board the vehicles as quick as possible.
He's ended up with a relatively quite combination of their cluster today, and Chan was grateful for it as he settled into his seat with a pained grimace.
He wasnât sure when it had started, but a persistent on-and-off pain had been roaming around his back for the last twenty minutes as theyâd said goodbye to Stays and prepared to leave the venue. Heâd be more worried about it, except the sharp, needle-like, pains would settle into a gentler ache before kicking back up again.
As it was, Chan was pretty sure heâd pinched a nerve or strained something and would simply rest when he got back to the hotel. Maybe call up the PT. For now, as three of his soulmates settled in around him, Chan was content to leave it be.
Well, almost. Another twinge of pain makes him wince as he twists to buckle in, and Chan decides that maybe itâd be a good idea to know what he was working with. For comfortâs sake, if nothing else.
âFelix,â He prods the blond next to him, âCan you look at my back for me? I think I pinched something.â He motions toward his lower back, where the majority of the pain had been accumulating.
Felix immediately nods his acceptance, their groupâs resident massage expert always willing to lend a hand. Especially if it let him lay hands on his very well built soulmates.
Chan scooches forward and rotates around, balancing with his hand on the headrest of the seat in front of him. He helps Felix shimmy his shirt upwards, struggling with it where it gets caught in the seat-belt.
Chan ends up stuck struggling on his own as Felix chooses that moment to direct his eyes and hands to the afflicted area.
âThereâs your first issue,â Felix tuts, âYouâve left your concealment tape on. Youâll give yourself a rash one of these days, hyung.â
Chan gives a sheepish smile from where heâs managed to trap himself in a cloth prison. His head is free, and the shirt his appropriately bunched up over his shoulders and around his neck. Unfortunately, he hadnât managed to free his hands, so heâs got a bit of a t-Rex thing going on right now. Itâs fine.
âI forget itâs there,â he confesses with a whine, âI canât see my own back, yâknow?â
Felix rolls his eyes at their oh-so-glorious leader, carefully peeling the thin material away from Chanâs skin as he scolds, âYou still need to take it off. We sweat way too much to not at least change it after a performance.â
Heâs bunching up the extra-strength tape to maybe toss at Jisung in the front seat (maybe Minho, if heâs feeling very brave), when he spots something off.
More than half a decade into having found each other, the members of Stray Kids were intimately familiar with each otherâs soulmarks. Every drop of color, every line, every curve.
So when Felix looks at the freshly uncovered canvas on Chanâs back, familiar trees, bushes, and rocks painting a forested landscape that describes their impact on their eldest, something new immediately catches his eye.
There, on the fallen log that bridged two banks of a crystal-clear creek, was a moss blanket and a cluster little shelf mushrooms. They added life to the previously defunct object, a little bit of color that couldnât have been said to be missing until it wasnât.
The closer Felix looked, the more he saw. A mushroom here, a mossy patch there. Little signs of life and decay that he could have sworn werenât there the last time he looked.
He looks to Jisung, whoâs blissfully unaware.
As the first of their cluster to paint Chanâs skin with color, he was the most familiar with their leaderâs mark. Jisung had been too young for his own mark to have appeared when heâd met Chan, but that didnât stop him from influencing their eldestâs. They all knew heâd spent a lot of time studying Chanâs mark (and Changbinâs when it had appeared, already partially colored in) while waiting for his own.
If there was anyone whoâd be more than certain of a change in their soulmarks, itâd be Jisung.
Felix swiftly removes his hands from Chanâs back, earning him a little noise of confusion from the prone man, and reaches over to poke Jisung harshly in the side.
Jisung immediately flinches away from the offending fingers with a loud yelp, attracting the attention of Minho, whoâd been peacefully scrolling on his phone. Jisung swiftly fixes Felix with an offended glare, ready to retaliate, but is cut off before he can even try.
âLook at Chanâs mark for me.â Felix demands.
âMy mark?â Chan echoes, baffled and alarmed. âWhatâs wrong with my mark?â
âNothing, hyung,â Felix assures, âI just need to check Iâm not seeing things.â
A series of furtive, silent, and, on Felixâs part, urgent, gestures are exchanged before Jisung finally relents and leans around the back of his seat, grabbing Minhoâs for balance as the van departs.
Jisung lazily traces his eyes over Chanâs soulmark. All of Stray Kids had huge marks, but Jisung privately thought that Chan had them all beat. His mark spanned his entire back, not an inch untouched by the image. From shoulder to hip was an oil painting of a mark, filled in from what used to be a desolate landscape to what was now a thriving forest.
Jisung used to think it was so overwhelming to be part of such a mark. To be loved so much, and so deeply. It was evident in every brushstroke of the image on Chanâs skin, and in every action of the man himself.
These days, he found great comfort in it.
Heâd gotten so lost in thought as he studied his soulmateâs mark that Jisung had almost missed what had caught Felixâs attention in the first place. But sure enough, his eyes catch on the same log that Felixâs had.
âOh.â He whispers to himself. âOh.â He says again, as Minho shoves his head under Jisungâs arm to look himself.
âNo, yeah, thatâs different.â He confirms, Minho nodding against him, having already spotted it for himself. The two of them find their eyes glued to tiny mushrooms, only sparing a moment to glance at each other before returning their gaze to Chanâs skin, each with their own racing thoughts.
âI thought so.â Felix nods to himself.
âWhat?â Chan questions, becoming more alarmed by the second, âWhatâs going on? Whatâs happened? Whatâs wrong with my mark?â
Felix lays his palms flat on Chanâs back and begins to rub gentle, soothing, circles. Any changes to a soulmark were stressful at the best of times, and they all knew how much Chan treasured his.
âThereâs nothing wrong,â Felix soothes, letting the warmth of Chanâs mark resonating with his touch calm them both as he searches for gentle words.
âItâs just,â He begins hesitantly, âWell, the good news is that you havenât pinched or strained anything.â
âGood news?â Chan echoes, âIs there bad news?â He lets a nervous giggle fall from his lips even as he relaxes into Felixâs hands.
âNot necessarily?â Felix says uncertainly, âItâs just. Well. Your mark has changed.â He pauses a second and pulls out his phone, quickly snapping a picture and then passing it around so Chan can see. âSomethingâs been added.â
Felix lets the implication of his words sit untouched in the air as the three of them wait for Chan to process what this means.
Ironically, Chan was the least familiar with his own mark out of all of them. His and Minhoâs both resided on their backs so it stood to reason that the two of them didnât see their marks very often. So it was no surprise that it took Chan several, very long, moments to spot the tiny changes.
When he does, Chan pulls in a deep, stuttering breath. The pain is already fading out to an ache now that itâs been acknowledged and Chan isnât sure how he feels about the extra confirmation.
He carefully pulls his shirt back down, breaking his soulmateâs line of sight like they hadnât already burned the image onto their retinas. He doesnât remove his eyes from Felixâs phone.
âI...â He trails off, âI have another soulmate?â His voice is filled with wonder as he marvels at the picture of his mark. He looks up at the rest of his soulmates currently in the van with awe. âWe have another soulmate?â
âYeah,â Minho whispers, voice choked with emotion, âYeah it looks like it.â
Felix doesnât wait for Chan to fully turn around before heâs pulling their leader into a bone-crushing hug, giddy, disbelieving, laughter spilling out of him even as tears prick at his eyes.
âOh my god!â Felix celebrates quietly as Chan wiggles to return his hug just as tightly. âOh my god.â The other man agrees.
Even as his soulmates celebrate around him, each feeling their own storm of emotions, Chan canât quite grasp the reality of the situation.
Stray Kids was a uniquely large soul cluster. From the beginning, when it had become evident that Hannie wasnât his only soulmate, it had caused issues. Then came Bin, and the rest had followed like dominos. Each time their circle expanded heâd thought âthis has to be it, right?â and each time there was a little voice in the back of his mind saying, âNo, not yet.â
The issue was that that feeling, that little voice saying ânot yetâ, the knowledge that they werenât complete, had never gone away.
By the time they had all met, none of them could spot anything obviously missing from their marks. All of them were completely colored, lines drawn, images complete. And yet, every one of them felt that hollowness of an incomplete bond.
Theyâd talked about it a lot. Individually, as a group, in pairs and in quartets and seemingly endless combinations. It was hard, as the years went by, to ignore that nagging feeling.
Chan would always remember Jeongin crawling into his bed in the middle of the night, crying and apologizing for not being enough. Could never forget taking Jisung to a rage room so they could both break down their feelings or drinking with Changbin and wondering if it was wrong for them to be so greedy as to want more when they already had so much.
After so many years, theyâd begun to wonder if they were just broken. If they didnât have another soulmate out there after all, and it was all in their heads.
It had been hard. It was hard.
And now that little blank space in his soul was painted with someone elseâs colors and Chan felt whole in a way he wasnât sure heâd ever experience.
It kind of made him want to cry.
He wanted to cry even more when Felix innocently asks, âSo what were they like?â An unmatched eagerness in his eyes as Chan pulled away.
That one guileless question triggers a realization in Chan that has his groaning in despair and slumping forward back onto Felixâs shoulder.
âI donât know.â Chan mumbles into the shoulder of the slighter man.
âWhat was that?â Jisung questions from where he and Minho were still turned toward him, obviously as curious as Felix.
âI said I donât know!â Chan wails, wilting further into Felixâs frame.
âHow do you not know?â Minho questions incredulously. Felix gasps as he connects dots heâd been too excited to before.
âI didnât even know my mark had changed before now,â Chan explains miserably, âI donât even know exactly when the pain started.â
Jisung sucks in a hiss of air, sympathy splashed across his face. âOh geeze,â he breathes out, âHow many people have we met today alone?â
âOk, well,â Felix interjects, âNot ideal, but weâll figure it out!â
Minho turns his incredulous stare onto the optimistic man.
"How are we going to figure it out?" He demands, "Because there were tens of thousands of people in that stadium and I know every single one of us shook dozens of hands tonight."
Felix wilts a little bit even as Jisung comes to his defense, "We kind of have to figure it out, hyung," he points out, "And soon. We're back to Seoul soon."
"Okay but how?" Minho challenges, "And don't give me any 'with the power of love and fate' crap."
"We might have to rely on fate." Chan shrugs, dejected. "It's not like I have a description or anything to give out."
"It'll be okay Channie hyung," Felix pats Chan's back lightly from where they're still entangled together, "It'll have to be."
The van descends into silence as the four of them contemplate their new situation. After a few minutes Chan leverages himself up and out of Felix's embrace to frown aimlessly at his knees.
"Well," Felix breaks the silence, "We donât have any more shows after this, and we have some days of break time, right?â
âRight,â Chan confirms, âWe have tomorrow off and then weâre returning to Seoul to start working on the next album.â
âBut officially,â Felix hedges, âWe have, like, an entire week off, donât we?â
âNot quite, but sure,â Chan hesitantly agrees.
âWell, we know they were in town for the concert at least,â Felix continues, âSo as long as they didnât leave the city immediately after, I mean, there's seven more first contacts to go, right?â
âAre you saying we should spend our break wandering around trying for first contacts?â Jisung asks, âBecause Iâm all for searching for them, but I donât know that aimless wandering is gonna help.â
Chan holds up his hands to halt that conversation before it could devolve into a bigger debate.
âLetâs shelve that for now, and meet up with the others at the hotel,â He suggests, âWe should discuss this as a group anyways.â
He receives a variety of agreements and the four of them settle in for the short remaining drive back to their hotel. He absently hands Felixâs phone back to him and retrieves his own from his pocket to ask the others to meet them in his room.
Chan looks out the window, post-concert fatigue all but a memory. As the buildings pass by, he canât help but hope that their mystery soulmate was looking for them too.
You reaffirm your decision to never ever meet your soulmates as Taylor loads you into the car, arm wrapped protectively around your shoulder the whole way.
It was one thing when your stupidly large soul cluster was just an idea. Knowledge you held, but unactionable in any way.
It was another when you had evidence, in the form of little white flowers burning with warmth on your skin, that they were real, physical, people.
Even worse when you knew that they were a group of very famous musicians.
You hadnât actually been sick when youâd texted Taylor, whoâd thankfully managed to get all of the autographs heâd wanted before heâd checked his phone to try to find you, but you were getting there. Anxiety had nausea creeping up your throat like molasses.
Youâre beyond grateful when your roommate doesnât question your sudden illness, the both of you well aware that you were hale and hearty when youâd left the house.
Taylor just buckles you in like youâre something precious and fragile and takes the wheel.
The two of you drive in silence the entire way home. Itâs not awkward, but you canât deny the weight of something heavy in the air. The buzz of the concert still lingered between the two of you, and it only made the silence stifling and itchy.
When you pull into your apartment complex neither of you speak for a long moment.
âSorry for ruining the day.â You murmur to the air in front of you. Taylor just reaches over to pat your thigh and unclip your seatbelt.
âYou didnât ruin anything,â He assures, âDonât sweat it.â He hesitates a moment before continuing.
âIâm not gonna push,â Taylor begins gently, âBut you know you can talk to me, right? Whatever happened, Iâm not gonna judge. I just wanna be here for you.â
âWhat makes you think something happened?â You mutter mulishly. Taylor just gives you a look that has you sinking into your seat.
âItâs nothing. Iâm just being dramatic.â You admit. He bumps your shoulder with his and climbs out of the car.
âItâs not nothing if it makes you feel something.â He tells you as he goes. The two of you walk up to the apartment in silence, contemplative this time.
You think about telling him as the two of you separate to wash the concert off of yourselves. You think about it as you take turns using the bathroom and as you make dinner side by side. You think about it as you settle in front of the couch at his feet as his hands automatically pull your head to his knees, his fingers digging into your hair just how you like.
You want to tell him, you decide. You do. It's just that. Well...
Your sister was right, in a way. Youâd known Taylor for over a year now, but the two of you didnât really know much about each other. You really were just roommates.
You didnât know what his favorite color was. You didnât know the names of his parents, or if he had any siblings. You barely knew what he did for a living. Heâd only ended up your roommate by virtue of you responding to his âroommate wantedâ ad with full willingness to be murdered on the spot.
At the same time, the two of you knew everything about each other. You knew how he took his coffee in the morning, that he preferred his eggs dry and over-seasoned. You knew the bands he liked and the games he played. You knew his hobbies better than you knew your own sometimes, and more about his friendâs drama that you ever wanted to.
You know the important things, you think.
You know that every word you tell him in confidence will be clutched tightly all the way to the grave.
âI met my soulmate today.â You confess, your cheek pressed to his knee, half-asleep.
The words somehow feel like they were snatched from the darkest depths of your soul as they spill from your lips. You make no move to take them back.
Taylorâs hand, to his credit, only pauses for a moment. Then he treats your hushed admission like any other comment made while you nod off to dramas the both of you know you only watch for him, resuming the soothing movement of his hand and humming lightly to acknowledge you.
You think itâs that casual treatment that lets you find the courage to continue.
âWell, one of them anyway.â You mumble. Taylor hums his interest, but doesn't take his eyes off of the screen and doesnât stop petting your hair.
âI donât want to meet them. Thereâs so many of them and only one of me, y'know? I donât even know how to love myself, how am I supposed to love eight other people?â Taylor says nothing still, his eyes glued to an episode of a drama you know the two of you have already finished three times over.
âIâm scared Iâll fuck it up. Iâm scared theyâll fuck me up.â Your voice cracks as you breathe life into one of your deepest fears. You realize as you say it that youâve never voiced these thoughts aloud before, even to yourself.
Tears prick at the back of your eyes when you admit, âIâm not ready for them. I donât think I can be.â
Taylor finally gives in to the seriousness of the conversation and hauls you bodily up onto the couch. You go willingly, but with rag-doll limpness. He rearranges you to his liking and you find yourself in Gossip Position, sitting criss-cross facing him.
âFirst of all,â He starts in, his usual levity giving way to a seriousness you rarely see from him, âDonât be mean to my best friend. Iâll hit you.â You ignore his threat in favor of the warm feeling in chest at hearing him call you his best friend.
Take THAT Ma! No friends your glorious behind.
âSecondly, you are literally the most loving person I have ever met in my life. You would fit the entire world in there if you could,â He pokes your chest, right above your heart, for emphasis, âSo Iâm not that surprised you have more than one soulmate.â
âI have eight though,â You argue, âIsnât that weird?â
Taylor just shrugs. âI mean, yeah. But weird is basically your brand, so...â He trails off with a teasing smirk.
You shove him a bit in retaliation, but he just grabs your wrists to still you and continues speaking before you can argue.
âI donât think eight soulmates is enough for you, honestly,â He muses, âI mean it when I say youâre the most loving person I know. I think youâd even try to take care of Danny if he needed you to.â The mention of Taylorâs very creepy second cousin sends a shiver down both of your spines.
The worst part is that you canât even argue with him.
âBut you know, even with eight soulmates, you donât have to be with them.â Taylor suddenly switches tracks to reassure you, âTheyâre your soulmates sure, but youâre your own person. Theyâre for you, itâs not like they are you. You can live without, if you really want to.â
The two of you let that statement settle for a moment. Heâs right, you know all too well. Still, the thought leaves a wad of uncomfortable and complicated feelings lodged in your throat.
After a momentâs pause, you break the silence.
âI have too many years of trauma and not enough therapy money to unpack everything Iâm feeling right now.â
Taylor cracks first, and giggles come pouring out of the two of you. The joke wasnât even funny, but you guessed the two of you had been serious for far too long.
Some minutes later, when the giggles finally die down and you return to watching Taylorâs show, you find yourself with your head on his shoulder.
âWhatever you decide, you know Iâm here for you, right?â Taylor quietly picks up where the conversation had left off.
âSure,â you agree, âLike I was there for you when you cried over a boy I told you wasnât shit.â You completely deserve the elbow to the side you receive for that comment.
âShut up, Iâm being cheesy!â Taylor scolds with a laugh.
âIâm lactose intolerant!â You complain, but obligingly fall silent.
âSeriously,â Taylor insists, âIâll be here every step of the way. Whatever you need.â
You wrap your arms around the one of his that youâre leaning on and give a gentle squeeze to show your appreciation. âThanks Tay.â you murmur.
âOf course. You got me front row tickets to a SKZ concert, weâre ride or die whether you like it for not!â You poke his side to scold him for not being serious after just insisting that you be, but end up having to fight for your life when he immediately retaliates by trying to tickle you.
It takes the two of you quite a while to calm down again, Taylor smug in his victory. He holds your ankles in his lap like trophies of war as you stare at the ceiling. The quiet creeps back in quickly, so you speak.
âIâm just not sure what I want, I think.â You tell him, âI donât want to meet them. But at the same time, I really do, yâknow?â
Taylor nods, âJust let the universe do its thing.â he suggests, âIf youâre meant to meet them now, youâll meet them regardless of what you want. But after you meet them, itâs all up to you.â
You nod along, humming your acceptance of his advice. Heâs right, again. You canât really fight fate, even if you desperately want to. But even within that large restraint, youâre a human being with free will. The world is your oyster and all that.
You let your thoughts fade out and just listen to Taylor yap about the drama on the TV as he finally tunes back into it.
Itâs nearly dawn when the two of you decide to turn in, post-concert jitters having deserted you and heavy conversations having taken their toll.
âDid you manage to get their name before you bolted?â Taylor asks out of nowhere as youâre walking to your respective rooms. âYour soulmateâsâ He clarifies at your confused look.
âOh, I didnât need to.â You answer absentmindedly, already opening your door and dreaming of your cozy sheets. âIt was Bangchan.â
You close your door on his gawping face, blissfully unaware of the crisis youâd just sent him into.
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#skz x reader#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#skz fanfic#w.i.p fic#skz fic#w.i.p#baby writes#SGAU#Soulmate Garden AU#Soulmate AU#SKZ soulmate AU#stray kids soulmate au
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I have this problem where I am hyper aware of the smell of specifically my momâs sweat/discharge. It isnât like this for anyone else, but to me I can always smell it whenever I am around my mom or if she has been sitting somewhere for a while and it really reeks to me, like to an unbearable level. Nobody else in the house has complained about this and Iâm made out to be this hateful spiteful bully for always telling her she smells and that she leaves smells wherever she sits. Idk what to do anymore, help??? Why am I the only one who can seemingly smell it? Why is it only hers that I smell??
So, this is really far out of my wheelhouse and has nothing to do with my field of study but I still feel compelled to answer this.
My first thought here is that constantly telling someone that you think they stink, especially in front of other people, is very rude and hurtful. Even if it's true.
I think the way you're going about this, "always" telling her you think she stinks and around other people is actually very unkind and that's probably why people think you're trying to be a bully. That can be very humiliating and awful to constantly hear.
Even if someone stinks, that's often not something to comment on. It can be okay if you're with a family member, or someone you're close to, and you think they'd want to know, so you pull them aside and tell them maybe they need some deodorant.
Even sometimes, especially during puberty, a sibling might not smell the greatest. That doesn't mean you can tell them that all the time. Sometimes it means you give them some hygiene tips but often it means you wait it out, maybe spray some cleaning stuff sometimes. Sometimes people stink.
But the way you're going about it isn't like that in the least and you're describing how awful this is for you and how you're being blamed for saying these things but what you're describing is also happening to your mother. You don't mention once how she's reacted, how she feels about this, what she's said in response, etc, at all.
It sounds like this situation might be far worse for her to be experiencing, Anon.
It might not even be sweat you're smelling. It could be a soap or perfume she wears that smells bad to you.
Regardless of what it is, the way you're going about it sounds hurtful and it also sounds like you're not being very thoughtful about how this might be affecting her.
I think this could be solved much better if you try to figure out when this issue started, figure out if this is a hygiene issue or just a perfume type issue-
If it's hygiene, it's possible it's a health issue, which is not necessarily something that can be helped beyond you not shaming her constantly for it. If it might be perfume, ask if you can check out what soaps and possible perfume or whatever she uses.
That doesn't necessarily mean you'll be able to "fix" it, given she's allowed to wear what she wants, even if you don't like the smell, but it would clear up the mystery.
But if you can't figure it out respectfully and while being kind, then its an issue where you just need to mind your own business. Either way, it sounds like you really need to apologize to your mom.
I can't tell you exactly what's going on here but that's my thoughts. Not sure how helpful they are tbh, like I said, this is not my wheelhouse.
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idk who needs to hear this but you *can* relate to someoneâs struggles with a specific disorder without having said disorders
itâs honestly one of my biggest frustrations when youâre venting about a disorder you have or see people talking about it online and then you see people chime in âomg I didnât think I had this but I relate to this so I have it!â and i donât mean those people who have genuine concerns about having a specific disorder. (fyi, if you have genuine concerns regarding a specific disorder you may have, this isnât about you!! itâs perfectly valid to stumble upon a disorder you didnât know existed that explains your situation perfectly and have questions about it <3)
iâll use this as an example but if someone is currently struggling through cancer and they vent to you about extreme exhaustion and fatigue, most people wouldnât be like âomg I feel exhausted and fatigued too!! i must have cancer!â but would probably say something along the lines of âive struggled through exhaustion and fatigue myself due to other reasons so i can understand what youâre going through and how you feel.â itâs okay to have questions about disorders and want to know more to maybe better situations youâre going through/ are in but just seeing one thing you relate to and claiming a whole disorder because of it can be very damaging to the people who have said disorders.
as someone with a cluster b personality disorder, thereâs already so much stigma around them and thatâs excluding all my other disorders/ problems. iâve seen people who have no idea what BPD is, relate to a small portion of it, claim it as something they have with no research into it or professional advice, and then unknowingly play into stereotypes or spread more stigma about it. thereâs so much more to a disorder than one or two things you see someone posting about. thereâs also a lot of other things someone could have that also change how disorders present themselves in different people.
a person can have disorder A and vent about it but what you donât know is that they also have disorder B, C, D, and E. although their main post is about disorder A, disorder C, D and E can also be big factors in it without you knowing. you might be relating more to the disorder C and E aspect of it over the âmainâ disorder A part of it than you really realize.
the purpose of me saying all this is not to be hateful, âgatekeepâ, discourage people who genuinely have concerns, want to participate in genuine conversations about these topics, or for any other malicious reason. im just coming at this as a person to whoâs genuinely really exhausted. itâs already so hard living with certain disorders and then you see people online who glorify, romanticize, or even fetishize certain disorders while cause harm to those people who genuinely suffer from it.
i stumbled upon someoneâs post on a different platform and her whole shtick was âi have BPD but Iâm uber normal abt it and not bat shit insane like literally everyone else who has it + having FPs is totally amazing and not super draining and exhaustingâ and it was honestly heartbreaking. her whole reasoning for having bpd was that she got obsessive over people she was in love with so therefore it was her FPs and got depressed if they didnât spend time with her.
if youâre genuinely curious and have real concerns, please do your hardest to research it and/ or seek professional advice if possible. donât put others who have the disorder down when they donât meet or work with your agenda. thank you.
#actually ocd#actually bpd#actually autistic#actually mentally ill#actually delusional#actually adhd#actually bipolar#actually anxious#actually manic#mentally fucked#mentally unstable#mentally exhausted#bpd problems#bpd tag#bpd safe#bpd#bpd life#bpd things#bpd blog#bipolor#autism#adhd#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#bpd vent#vent#vent post#borderline pd#cluster b
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Okay so I need people are who are diagnosed as autistic to help me out here
I been suspecting for a long time (like around a year, maybe more idk) than I might be autistic, and I did research (genuinely, not just taking some Internet quiz and self-diagnosing based on it) and I want to know if thereâs a genuine chance I might be autistic, or if I have a wrong view on autism (basically, if Iâm wrong about it and what it means to be autistic).
Some things than happen to me than Iâve seen also happen to a big amount of autistic people
-Problems with food since very little. Not based on taste, but texture. Eating something with the wrong texture is just horrible.
-Always felt different from my peers, never quite fitting in because I didnât know how to interact with them. As if they knew exactly what to do and I was just flying blind. I heard people say than they felt as if everyone was born with a book of rules, meanwhile they had to learn from watching everyone else already know them, and I think thatâs the best way for me to explain it.
-Intense interests on stuff, really intense. Like, is all I can think about day and night, I relate everything to it in some way or another, I know everything about it down to the smallest detail, some might call me obsessed and I wouldnât deny it. Reminds me of the way people with autism describe their hiperfixations.
-People thought I was âgiftedâ as a kid, and said than I was a kid with the mind of an adult. Iâm no genius, I was just interested on different stuff than other kids. I was the first one to learn to read and I never stopped. I basically lived in the library as a kid. I have a vivid memory of when I must have been like 10 and saying than my favorite thing in the world was reading and some friends looking at me like I was crazy. Iâm mentioning this not because people who are autistic are âgiftedâ, but more because I heard they are usually interested in different stuff than their peers (doesnât have to be more mature, it can be more immature stuff too, I think. Goes hand in hand with feeling different from everyone). Continuing on books, I also always had a higher reading level than the rest of my class. I was âa pleasure to have in class but should speak out moreâ kid.
-Looking back they were obviously bullying me, but I thought than they were laughing with me, not at me.
-I canât hear the tone of my voice?? For some reason?? Sometimes I speak too loudly or too quietly or my mom says Iâm being rude for âtalking backâ but in my head my voice is the same level and uses the same tone. So if Iâm ever rude I probably donât notice (I hate being rude to people).
-I read about overstimulation and under stimulation and it perfectly described the way I feel a lot of time. Specially overstimulation.
-If talking about something I really enjoy (hiperfixations?) I canât be still. Iâll probably smile and fidget with something and the mere mention of it or anything regarding it outside of online spaces makes me want to scream out of excitement. Like, a really abnormal reaction to it, I believe.
-I prefer to be home on my own than outside (specially if thereâs lots of people around). I donât know if itâs hard for me to see how people are feelings, given than I learnt to notice when people donât want me somewhere (eventually you get used to it) but sometimes when people are being nice to me Iâm completely unable to see if theyâre being genuine or not. An example, I was forced to spend a week sharing a room with this pair of really popular girls because of a school trip, and they were nice to me, starting conversations and stuff. So because they seemed nice, I thought they were nice. But at the end of the week I approached them and they gave me the dirtiest look and I realize they werenât actually being genuine, they were just kind of being forced to be nice to me.
-I hate changes of routine, everyday I have the same routine and if someone wants it to change (go somewhere and do something together) they have to tell me at least a day in advance. Unless I really like them, I will feel uneasy to change my routine because it makes me feel as if I was messing everything up.
-I donât know if it has anything to do with this, but Iâm adding it just in case. I hated physical touch as a kid. Up until some years ago, I couldnât stand it. Also donât know if itâs related, but I always had trouble sleeping, I heard that might be a symptom but I donât know.
-I went to a speech therapist as a kid because I couldnât pronounce the letter s and I pronounced it as z, sometimes it still comes out. I heard problems in speech might be related but I doubt it, just adding just in case.
-I have a big sense of justice. For example everyone in my class cheats on their exams (they donât even hide it, is more, they brag about it), and that has always upset me. Not because they can copy while I actually study, but because cheating is wrong. Thatâs not how it works. Why are they breaking the rules. Or for example they bring their phones to school (not nearly as bad as cheating) which is forbidden, and I donât understand why they do that. Itâs forbidden, so why?
-I notice patterns in almost everything, I also focus more on the little details than the big picture, which leads to both overthinking but also better results.
-I need people to speak to me separately. Having a conversation with two people at the same time feels like a nightmare.
-I need people to tell me things, if they want me to do them. If you made something for me to eat, donât just put it on the table, tell me itâs for me. Otherwise I wonât touch it out of fear itâs not mine. When given instructions, I need them to be clear and detailed. All people my age are doing stuff like going to parties, drinking alcohol, meanwhile I never think of doing it and also, never knew I could do it? When did the change between going to the park to hang out without our parents for the first time and going to a party with alcohol around lots of strangers happened? Why did no one told me? How does everyone just know when to change and grow up? Why donât I?
-Something I also noticed is than every fictional character I related to had various autism symptoms (said by people on the fandoms who are actually autistic).
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you're confused about your emotions ? me too babe, here's a quick reading
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I chose random images from my pinterest to read into your energy so you can choose randomly aswell, whatever speaks to you⥠also Idk what's with the 2016 songs today but I kept hearing random ones throughout this reading maybe there's some resonance for you
Pile 1
The Moonđ
first off I'm hearing that song "we don't talk anymore" by Charlie Puth. So maybe you're dealing with some kind of loss right now, maybe a breakup, a fight with a loved one, a new chapter meaning you have to leave someone behind a little... if this is the case, or similar, allow yourself to be "thrown off" a little, those kinds of situations take adjusting and remember that nothing has to be forever. where I come frome we say : "thunderstorms clear the air" meaning that after a fight there's great potential for healthy communications and solving problems once and for all, for a peaceful and harmonic environment⥠A reading about your emotional state and I pull the moon, how well fitting. The answer truly lays on the inside with this one. no one can tell you how you truly feel exept for yourself! (and maybe your therapist) I think for most of you there's a new season starting and you're realising that it can't be all returning characters. Take some time to heal your relationship with relationships and analyze what and who is truly of good value to your life. you got this!
Pile 2
four of swordsđĄ and page of pentaclesđȘ
for you I'm hearing that song "cold water" with Justin Bieber. And you actually need to take a jump into cold water. There's something you've been manifesting and now that it's slowly getting closer you're resisting the change. Maybe by refusing to let go ? It's like little kids now around Christmas, you can actually watch this happen with slight alterations, all the time. Their parents take them to the toystore so they can see what they like, and they child ofcourse find something but their parents tell them okay now time to go home and wait and see if Santa will bring it. But the kid clings to the shelves and doesn't wanna leave behind the thing they so desperately wanted. Little does it now that their parents just need to get them out of sight so "Santa" can buy the gift and deliver it WHEN IT IS TIME. let go of obsessing, overthinking and trying to "go the right path" and just let the story unfold, take it step by step even if its a little scary and you'll find yourself where you're supposed to be, you're so close alreadyâĄ
Pile 3
seven of swordsđĄ
It's too heavy darling you can't carry all of that. You might think you do and you think you're so strong and abundant and successful for "having" all of that but then you wouldn't be feeling like this, would you? A burden, too much responsibility, too many goals or to do's for a person who only has 24hours in a day. I know the card typically speaks about actual betrayal but in this case it feels a little paranoid, like you're desperately trying to do it all on your own because your scared of beeing betrayed or someone messing with your vision or even catching evil eye. For you I'm hearing "Lady Marmalade" yk from Moulin Rounge !? I'm not sure how that fits in here and I never watched the movie but oh well, maybe you know what to do with this information. There could be something about sisterhood and sharing a problem (could be workload or talking about problems...). You might have that lonely wolf mindset, but no matter how strong you are, out there, beeing alone can get you killed. I keep seeing pictures of spiritual communities and churches, you might wanna be looking for something like a mediation or yoga class, bible study group, a coven.... depending on your beliefsystem! you're right not everyone is your friend but also not everyone is your enemy!
ps. reading back this comes off a little weird and I feel like I need to say this. please don't join a cult lol. If you are in some kind of group and things feel off, please take care of yourselfâĄ
hope that helped <3
#aa#free reading#selfcare#self love#tarot#emotional health#tarotblr#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a picture#manifestation#intuitive readings#selfhelp
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this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong
and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)
then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty
and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games
its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?
correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former
when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-
im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one
like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?
maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)
i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do
maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#and thats enough personal talk for today#already feeling shitty enough#im also really bad at lying- if some of this seems self centered then .. i guess it is- im sorry?#dont think im ever gonna be a perfect human being#even while trying to better myself#:(
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Thoughts/Arguments about Endogenic systems:
(for context, Iâm probably best described as âquoigenicâ, but I donât really identify with any origin label because I think they ultimately cause more confusion than clarity)
Firstly, for those who donât know, the term endogenic is about the narrative of your own existence. It was created by a diagnosed DID system which believes they were born plural and would have been plural regardless of the trauma they experienced. Whether you personally believe that to be true is your business, but I fail to understand how people think that idea is harmful, ableist or anything else. Not everybody wants to conceive of the origin of their existence in the same way. I donât see anything wrong with that. Trying to force people to adopt a certain narrative about their own life doesnât help anyone or prevent any sort of harm.
As far as willogenic systems go (because theyâre under the endo umbrella, Iâm pretty sure), I really donât know enough about them to have a super definitive opinion. People seem to have mostly positive experiences with it, and it sure doesnât affect me whether somebody I donât know tries to make headmates through things like meditation. Itâs obviously something quite different than DID, but I imagine it could work similarly in some ways, so I donât really mind them using terms like âsystemâ. I do understand the aversion to willogenics to some extent, though. I feel that sometimes too. And ultimately I think thatâs because they get to make a choice that I wasnât given. And they get to skip syscovery, and probably a lot of dissociation on top of that. Itâs tempting to resent them, to assume they see it as a fun or frivolous thing, and are totally ignorant of our problems and suffering. But I donât think thatâs true.
They know what DID is. They know itâs usually caused by trauma, and often serious abuse. They know it is a serious disorder that can make life very difficult. They also know that they created headmates through meditation or something, and now theyâre a system. Why should that upset us? Why do we think we own plurality just because we suffered more on the road here? Maybe you think theyâre wrong about having headmates, butâŠ. how would we know? Just because an experience isnât accepted or understood by the field of psychology doesnât mean itâs not happening. And I make a point to believe people about their own minds.
Just because they donât have DID and have very different experiences to people with DID doesnât mean they canât acknowledge that those experiences do have some similarities. And it certainly doesnât mean they canât find community with OSDDID systems who want to normalize plurality itself in order to make life easier for all systems. It may seem âweirdâ to us, we might not understand it, but that doesnât mean we should deny just because we originally learned that DID (and therefore plurality) can only form through extreme trauma. Arenât a lot of the things we originally learned about DID wrong? Arenât a lot of the things we assumed about it wrong? We, as a species, have never understood the human brain. Even doctors and educators make assumptions about whatâs impossible without looking into it enough to prove that.
But when tons of people tell you they created headmates on purpose, and you donât really have a reason to think theyâre wrong other than âI donât think thatâs possibleâ, maybe itâs time to switch to, âidk how that works, but you do youâ. Itâs time to acknowledge that someone living their life in a way that you wouldnât choose for yourself is actually completely fine. I mean, as long as theyâre not hurting anybody obviously, but willogenics are not hurting anybody by being openly willogenic.
So yeah, endogenic systems are not inherently a threat to you or anyone else.
This post sums up my thoughts pretty well, so I might just refer people to it in the future. If youâre here from that, thanks for hearing what I have to say. I hope it helps you refine your worldview in some way. You donât have to agree with everything I said here. I just hope you at least interact with people with more good faith (believing what they say until they give you a reason not to).
#now the magic spell is complete and everyone will stop fighting#behold my nuanced arguments#if only all anti-endos could just read this thoughtful tumblr post all syscourse would vanish#and we could talk about important stuff#instead of yelling the same things over and over again#anyway#stop caring about what people wanna call themselves#stop caring about what people want to do with their lives#stop building communities based on hatred of people who are more like you than you think#build them based on love for each other and love for this life#syscourse#cw syscourse#plural#actually plural#did#did osdd#osddid#plurality#pro endo#anti endo#anti origin labels
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Alright Iâm back on my TMA bullshit welcome to the circus. This is a long with many episodes worth of thoughts so strap in
62. Holy FUCK. Mary fucking Keay is here and sheâs killing people and putting their skin in a book to. Summon them again??? I have truly no understanding of the implications of this but what the hell man. Also Gertrude is either fucking crazy or knew waaaay more than we do (or both. Both is a solid option at this point) cuz she took everything very well. Also when asked who the book was from, Keay just said âThe Endâ??? Like fucking Minecraft???? Idk what the hell this lady is talking about.
(Also I feel like I recognize the idea of a âThe *blank*â in this series. I canât remember if weâve seen it before or if Iâve just collected some knowledge after being on the outskirts of the fandom for so long but. Whatever it is itâs fucked and Iâm intrigued)
63 What is up with this fucking architect guy what is his deal???? Why does he keep building fucked up places where fucked up things happen??? Also weird that the people in the church seem to know/want to cover up something is odd. Also also the end with Melanie King coming back was an interesting lil thing, of all the characters I expected to be recurring I was not expecting her. Donât like that she got saddled with Not-Sasha though, hopefully itâs nothing or there are at least other witnesses to her leaving cause otherwise she might not be as recurring anymore. Idk what Not-Sashaâs deal is but I Do Not like it
64. ARCHAEOLOGY MENTION FUCK YEAH. I could honestly go on a whole rant about just how much I dislike Gwynne based on her ideals when it comes to archaeology, as someone who wants to be in the field myself, but I digress. I am curious about the fact that this is someone clearly long dead who still was conscious in some capacity? Clearly they didnât want to continue as they were. It sounds sort of similar to something one of the officers mentioned in an episode they were giving statements (canât remember which). One of them mentioned being called to a scene where someone who seemed like they shouldâve been dead from a suicide attempt kept trying to reach for the gun. The moment where the skeleton was trying to stab themself in the chest gave me a very similar vibe in the worst possible way.
65. I am following maybe 3 of the words this woman is saying in the first 7 or so minutes. But also the stuff she mentions with the man eating the computer is so unbelievably unsettling, and the stuff he was saying is fascinating. âThe maze is sharp on my mind. The angles cut me when I try to thinkâ especially reminds me of all the variations of endless mazes or places weâve seen in the show so far. Jon reaching out to specifically tech savvy people is also super smart, and itâs sick that he has access to Gertrudeâs laptop now. Tim and Jon fighting felt like listening to parents fighting. Im glad Jon is both getting a stern talking to and Tim is getting some sort of understanding of where Jonâs coming from. The fact that they both mention they canât quit/canât fire the other is interesting especially. I know stuff like that has been mentioned before, Iâm pretty sure after the first encounter with the worms Martin mentioned something about âwhy donât I quit?â But regardless itâs just another weird fuckin thing going on
66. Mikael fucking Salesa, what is your problem. I honestly donât have a lot to say about this episode, definitely another example of weird extradimensional spaces, and some mentions of the weird, unexplainable heat, but also the way he mentioned the box âpunishing himâ as if it was a living thing was interesting. I also have a lot of thoughts on the stuff mentioned about Gertrude, and Iâm really fascinated by all the stuff Jon mentioned about stopping asking about who killed her and focusing more on the why. As weâve actually gotten to hear some of her recordings, esp the one with Mary Keay where sheâs incredibly nonchalant about the murder and skin book, I think itâs an interesting idea that she may have been more suspicious that we thought.
Finally I think her lil shopping list was interesting, but honestly itâs the more mundane stuff rather than the Leitners that interest me, but Iâll probably make a seperate post about that cause it kinda rolls into a theory Iâve been sitting on for a little bit now
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