#and who knows?? maybe someone might hear idk but that's not my problem!
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my brain is constantly abuzz and the memories of feelings from when I first started experimenting are all flooding back
#I keep looking at my bio and almost crying#this is a lot#it's something I've probably wanted to do for almost 10 years now#but I've been too afraid#I'm still too afraid#but now that some switch inside me has been flipped it's like I can't be stopped#and yet. I have no fucking clue how to actually come out lmao#it feels easier to post to tumblr cause like. idk it's like shouting into the void#and who knows?? maybe someone might hear idk but that's not my problem!#am I asking for someone to validate me? maybe! I don't even know#maybe I'm just validating myself first by putting it out there somewhere#I never thought it would start happening so fast but I don't think my brain will allow me to slow down#it might self destruct from the pressure lol#Wired talks
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hey aros/aces of tumblr has anyone else figured out to express the sentiment "I hate it when people complain about being single to me" to allos without them launching into the perfectly valid ways in which they are unhappy with their singleness or conflating "complain about being single" with "talking about dating or being attracted to anyone."
#tempted to just make it i hate it when people complain about being single to me because if you're not happy single#you won't be happy in a relationship. bc that's more acceptable than being like. yah its bc im aromantic#like i get it i get it it's a big thing! its a valid complaint! making it to me is the equivalent of talking about how much you hate kids#to someone who has kids. im glad i tested expressing this opinion to my good friends first before letting it Breach Containment#maybe like i hate it when ppl try and commiserate with me about being single. although that does exclude just the person who complains abou#being single and then when you offer possible solutions they reject all of them and like. alright fuck me do you really want a partner or n#although i might be having an autism moment there and that one is also. commiserating. which explains why im ok w my more autistic friends#complaining bc they mean what they say. bc like if i can't relate to ur emotions. at least let me fix problem#aro#ace#aroace#idk like i'm fine with hearing about my friends dating lives crushes funny moments etc. love that! love that for them#want 2 be up to date on the lore. but when it starts being 'you know how being single is the worst thing in the world' like nope! not me!#please you are making me so uncomfortable do you know how long it took me to accept that i don't want what you want?#do you know how much it hurts that you think i want something that i would never be happy in?
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been debating on what to say for longer than i've expected, going anon for this ( although i mayyy suspect you may already know who i am just by my writing style but- welp! xd ) ; if i say anything even remotely wrong, you are free to ignore this ask /gen
you're enough. i think one big step is learning you don't have to be enough for everyone else because it's impossible to do that. you can't please everyone, you can't not please everyone aswell ; 8 billion people in the world, it's almost destiny that atleast 100 of them will be bothered by your existence, and other 100 will not.
although, it's okay to feel that way. it's okay to feel like you have to please everyone, to feel like you have to make everyone happy, to feel worthless if that's not the case. it's okay and you're allowed to feel that way. you are not to blame for feelings that you cannot control.
i won't say i understand, but as a fellow people-pleaser, i can say that i can atleast get the feeling. and i want you to know that it's okay. feel free to open up, to be vulnerable, to cry, to feel worthless, to feel like you're not good enough, to feel like your entire existence is entitled to only making people happy - you're allowed to feel all of those things and more. that's okay.
embrace those feelings instead of shoving them away, be kind to yourself by allowing yourself to just feel. it's okay.
it's so easy to just say you're worth, but you're not gonna believe me if i say you are. so i ask you to say those things to yourself instead, and the multiple times you feel like that's just luck, or you're being a fraud ; that's when you know you're doing great. that's when you know you are worth much more than what that voice in your head tells you.
your worth as someone is much more than what your acchievements tells you ; accept yourself as someone who is allowed to feel, to mess up, to regret, to cry, to be successful, to be kind to oneself, to feel and be all of those things and more.
that can be quite hard to do, but look how far you've gotten. you're still here, aren't you? easier said than done, i know. and it won't get easy, not even one bit - but, and i mean it genuinely : you got this. you genuinely got this.
not sure what to say anymore, so i'm just gonna say that i'm here if you wanna talk. my dms are open for you , and i will be there to give my support to you just as much as i can.
<- sincerely, a moot.
...
hey. thanks. /gen
I'm surprised that you even bothered to write out the message. it's odd because I had a weird thought of "they'll just ignore it"/"I want someone to notice this."
I'm still here. Yeah. That is something.
(Holy shit you made me cry with this /gen /pos)
I think I've grown relatively desensitized to people caring about me (not because of them, but because I've truly forgotten what it's like to have someone actually comfort you, especially when said person barely knows you.) but I seriously, seriously appreciate people (like you!) that bother to send me messages like this.
it does help make things better. like- seriously.
(still somewhat in shock because why would anyone care about how I'm doing and take time out of their day to write or do anything for my sake?) but I want to say this did make me feel a lot better. not okay, but a lot better. /gen /pos
be kind to yourself. now hang on a minute didn't I write something literally about this-
oh. i guess i'm just not taking my own advice.
#ghost's smol ask box#ghost vents to the void#for the record: yeah. i do know who you are. most likely.#and i want to thank you. i know i did but thank you. thank you.#my blog is currently titled as “imposter syndrome. stop coming in uninvited.” and it sums it up pretty well#it would be so easy to just tell someone to stop. like snap your fingers and suddenly you can internalize the fact that#you are enough and you deserve everything#but it isn't as easy as just saying it to someone#it's so easy to judge people who have a depleted sense of self-worth from an outsiders perspective#and go: “psh- why is this person bending over backwards to please everyone? they are clearly good enough.”#“all of the validation they could ever get is right there in front of them." (even if it's more complicated than that)#*cough cough*#i might not just be talking about me here. there's a certain someone who this also may or may not apply to (try and guess who)#problem is: even if the whole world tells you that you're good <- highly unlikely you'll still see yourself#as undeserving and worthless and everything inbetween#validation/approval addiction is very much a thing and even at the end of the day you KNOW you can't please everybody#you still try even though it's a lose-lose situation at the end.#oopsies i turned this into rambling lol currently trying to get back to writing on ao3 but i'm contemplating deleting all the things#people might not like or might be sick of.#...OH NO-#did the new episode teach me NOTHING 😭#but i'm being serious. this takes so long to try and untangle. especially when your entire life feels like to please people for your worth#maybe i'll write something about it. idk.#it's really hard to be kind to yourself. but I'm trying. /gen#i wish younger me can hear this. they seriously need this.
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It looks like maybe tumblr community is like a cross between a separate tumblr feed and a discord server? But without separate channels? Idk what functionality that serves for me in particular, but I guess if there's interest I could request a community for people who want to use my patterns and want to ask more questions about them? Or a community for crafters in general, but I don't think I'd want to have my crafting posts be locked into just one section of tumblr
What's the tumblr community thing those ads are for?
#the person behind the yarn#I think I like the idea of this and would join some communities maybe#but idk that I want to make my own#I might? if there's a theme for a community y'all would like me to start?#but to be honest I really like posting whatever's in my head here because I never know who will read it#who might happen to be an expert in the exact thing I'm asking about#or someone might see my post that happens to love the same weird book we both read as kids#or might know how to fix the same problem I'm having#idk I love the friendly strangers I get to talk to and hear from here on tumblr#and I know some of you are shy and some of you find too much socializing overwhelming#so idk if a community would be too much socializing pressure
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Chapter 3
Yandere Psych Patient König x Nurse Reader
Warning: Possesive, Obsession, Death, Gore, Blood, Smut, Toxic behavior, age gap.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
(This might suck idk. I don't know German so it's all Google translate)
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He hasn't left his room for a month. They kept him in their with the straitjacket on. His meals are just vitamins that he has to swallow. You would go in to check up on him, but new orders from the administrator's to not go near at all, so you pass by his room. You would peak through the little window and see him laying on his back with little no to motion on his arms or body entirely. His psychiatrist, Dr. Smith is the only that goes in there. They have sessions in his room instead of the usual spot they have it in.
She was pissed at everyone, specifically you. You are her punching bag, even though it was Ben's fault. "Why hasn't he been given his meds!" She yelled at you.
"We are not allowed to go i-" you tried to explain your her, but she could care less.
"You are his nurse right! Your job is to give him his meds! How did you graduate when you can't even do that!" She yelled at you.
You plead for her to listen to you "I'm sorry, Dr. Smith. I can't it's Mr. Millers orders. No one can go in except you because you are his psychiatrist."
So she strolled her way to the administrator's office.
Ignoring his assistant from telling her that she can't go in. Slaming the door open to see him sitting on his chair, writing whatever cral he writes on paper.
"Sarah calm down!"
"Do you have any idea how dangerous he is, and you want me to deal with him alone! On top of that the lack of guards is making my job harder!" Dr. Smith argued with a hand on her hips and her finger pointing towards Ben.
"Do you remeber when you wanted a nurse to look after him." She rolled her eyes. Yes, you, the nurse. "Do you have any idea how much money is going towards her. Triple the pay for looking after him."
Her hands swing in motion, showing her frustration. "She can't even do her fucking job Ben!"
"If she's alive, then she's doing her job well. What's making this hard, is you barging into my office and telling me what to do when you are the one demanding this." He stood up from his chair, fixing his navy tie. "We're loosing staff. People don't want to go near him. Gabriel is threatening to sue the company. Gaurds are quiting left and right so sorry that there aren't enough staff attending your needs."
She crossed her arms with an annoying sigh leaving her lips tinted with red lipstick. "Then hire more people, I don't see the problem?"
"Did you not hear what I said" he walked towards her, standing toe to toe to her. "Majority of our budget is going towards (Y/n). She's been here for two months now, lasting longer than any other nurses. We can't afford another hire with the same pay to deal with König. Besides he hasn't actually killed anyone in those two months, I'll take that than dealing with someone who has a broken jaw from a simple punch."
"Then ask for more money." She scuffed like if it was a joke she said.
He laughed at her face, "Do you think the government cares to fund more for this place, I already have the staff on my ass for new medical supplies, do you think they are gonna hand me the budget to hire someone with triple pay just because you are scared."
"Then fire (y/n) and hire a new guard, maybe someone with military experience."
"Why would I do that. You came into my office, spreaded your legs cause you were so desperate for a nurse and now you want me to fire her. She hasn't done anything in particularly wrong."
"She doesn't follow orders!"
"She does, you just make it difficult." He came in defense.
"Wasn't she trying to stop you from putting him into a straitjacket?" She smirked while her arms crossed at her chest.
"Yes, and she was right. Putting him in a straitjacket does nothing. He was fine it's just that..." he closed his eyes taking deep breath.
"Just what?" She came closer to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, gently caressing it.
He turned his head to her, he used to lovy dovey with her seduction, but now it's more annoyance. "Eli, the other guard, came to my office the other day and told me that Gabriel was provoking König."
She rolled her eyes, looking around his office. Paying attention to the paintings hanged up on the wall and the light objects he has on his desk. "Like what? Making fun of him? We all make fun the people here what else is new?"
"I don't know the full details, but that's what he told me." He sat a bit on his desk.
"Why does that matter?" She shook her head without a single thought in her brain.
"Gabriel is threatening to sue us. If we fight the legal action, we'll have to defend König. König, just like any other patient represent us, our care. If they find out that Gabriel was the one that caused this, making König the victim it doesn't look good after we placed him in the straitjacket. Like we silencing him out. It will ruin our reputation, we'll all loose our jobs and you fucked your way up here for nothing."
"But he harmed a worker, beside murdered multiple people." She let out a little chuckle, placing her hand on his chest.
He didn't give in, instead, he gave her a stare. "He's ex- military and as for you being his psychiatrist, you'll have to speak on behalf of him. Meaning that people will find out about you, how you never studied to become a doctor you fucked every professor you had to get your degree."
"What are you saying, Ben." Her smile dropped.
"I won't fire (Y/n). She stood up for König, making us look like we care about our patients. As for Gabriel, all he's asking is for some 20,000 thousand dollars, which we can easily give him worth than standing infront of the judge. Which means that we can't afford new guards for you. Besides they're taking off his straitjacket today, so stop being so scared and do your dam job."
"I still think you should fire, (Y/n) atleast." She hummed, wrapping her arms around his waist.
"I'm not doing that. Beside she's the only staff that doesn't barge in here demanding stuff. She nice and sweet...." he looked down to the side, " and...young and beautiful. "
She let go of his waist, clenching her jaw. Yes, you being so beautiful. "So what? You want to fuck her? Is that it. Never head young pussy before?"
"You should leave, I have work to do and so do you. This discussion is over." He walked to his desk, sitting down on his chair, unbutton his last few buttons from his dark, navy, blazer.
She stormed off his office, angrly stomping on the white tile floors with her heels creating a louder noise.
You heard the word going around that their taking of his straitjacket, so you quickly gathered what you need to check him up. You saw as the guards took off. He let out a big stretched, flexing more of his muscles. It caused a scare to the guards like a lion letting out a roar.
You walked up to and saw more of his face. He stared at you.
He missed you. He never thought he would miss you. During that month of not seeing you was a time he contemplated about you. Are you made for him or not. He will shut his eyes and images of you will pop up. You smiling at him. Taking good care of him. Watching you squirm under him as you take his full length cock inside your pussy. He'll treat you with respect as long as you do what he says that's all. Seeing your belly swell up with his baby. Can't wait to fuck your tits filled with milk. Can't wait to impregnate you with multiple of his children, making one big happy family. How protective he'll be for his kids, for you. To stand up to the bullies, to show them not to be scared of anything. To hold them if they cry.
He should kill you for making him react this way. He should just kill you. You are just another nurse thinking they have control over him. He use to give orders to people, being the colonel and all, he got the respect he fought for, why does he feel weak around you. You are so sweet and joyful to him. If he was back in the field and saw you, would he kill you. Or maybe fuck you. Maybe that's it. He hasn't done it in so long, so long he hasn't touch a women. He should've just fucked one of the other nurses. Yes, maybe he should do that. Fuck a nurse, just to see. I mean what's the harm in that.
"Aah...yes. right there ngh.... yes...oh fuck that feels good."
The sound of König's footsteps were low that they couldn't hear over the sound of skin slapping against eachother. Watching a men fucking his girlfriend on his bed.
"Does your boyfriend fuck you like this?" Slaming her ass back and forth on his cock.
"Ah....a-aah....he-..he could barley...make me- fuck!..mmgh....wet." She grip the bedsheets hard while he kept pounding her.
No. No. He can't. Not you. He can't. He can't betray you like they did. He can't imagine the face you'll make if you know he fucked another girl. No he should be pure to you. You should be the only one he touches.
He needs you. Okay, it's done. He'll make you his and you'll love him. You'll love him and care for him. Rather you like him or not it's done.
You wrapped the cuff around his bicep and squeeze the bulb reading the numbers on the circle, writing it down. Doing the usual things you have studied for. As you were checking his heartbeat, he reached up which caused you to flinch a bit. His index finger, gently, caressing your cheek. Your back was turned to the guards, making it hard them to see what's going. You stared at him as he touched you with such charisma. His thumb reaching to your chin, hovering over your lips. He placed the tip of his thumb on your bottom lip, gently pulling it out a bit.
You shouldn't have this feeling at the pit of your stomach. You couldn't tell of you didn't smack his hand away because you are scared or because you enjoy it. You never had this much attention, not like this.
"I don't have time to argue with you (Y/n)! Go to your room!" The little girl tuged at her moms shirt.
"Where's daddy?" She felt tears running down her face as her mother poured more wine into her glass, already finishing up the fresh new bottle.
"(Y/n)! Seriously go to room! You are such a headache! Why couldn't your father take you with him! Nauseating!" She dranked the entire glass, slamming the cup on the table.
"Where's daddy?" She said one last time not letting go of her blanket. The same blanket her father got her when she told him she was cold.
"HE LEFT! HE LEFT US (Y/N)! LEFT US FOR THAT BITCH! AND NOW I'M STUCK HERE WITH YOU. HE RUINED MY LIFE. I COULD'VE DONE SOOOO MANY THINGS! But no! I'm stuck to take care of a brat!"
He palmed your cheek, feeling your warmth. He went in closer to you. You could feel his hot breath, quicken as he got closer to your lips.
You pulled back, "I shouldn't- we shouldn't. I mean." You whispered to him.
"Mein liebling (my darling)." He whispered to you. The first time he spoke to you. You couldn't understand him, but he spoke to you. "Du bist mein (you are mine)." He pulled you closer to him, he didn't care if the guards were staring, if anything, he enjoys it. To show everyone that he is yours to touch. "Mein schatz (my sweetheart)," his lips were hovering yours, you felt a little tingle at how close he was.
You know this shouldn't happen. You turned your away from his. You walked back, feeling his grasp letting go. He stared at you witch a smile on his face. You saw the smile he gave you.
When your shift ended and went back to your apartment, the thoughts of what happened lingered into your mind.
That night, you couldn't sleep. He was in your dreams. What if you never pulled way. Were you really going to kiss him. You glazed over the parts where he touched you.
You searched the words he said to you to translate it. Sweetheart, darling, mine.
You felt the butterflies in your stomach again. You never felt so complicated before.
Having a crush on a patient.
You have a crush on König.
#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#cod x reader#fanfic#konig x reader#yandere konig#yandere könig#konig#könig x y/n#könig x reader#könig cod#könig#könig mw2#könig call of duty
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um um um Eve I had a bad day today and I was wondering if you could (please feel free to ignore me if you’re not interested or I’m annoying!!) write something about some of the windbre boys showing off their chubby gf 👉🏼👈🏼 they can get smutty or stay wholesome, whichever is easier for you. Maybe ume, togame, sakura, endo, and hiragi? Idk if that’s too many people. I hope you’re having a great day!!
Author’s Note: Hi, Anon! I’m sorry to hear you had a bad day,and even though I’m fulfilling this request a few days late (sorry!) I hope that the little piece below makes you smile even a little bit. I’m a thick girl myself, so I love when writers talk about readers' curves, rolls, cellulite, big asses, BREASTS, BIG THIGHS (oh my). Also, please don’t say you’re annoying because you aren’t and never could be, babe 💕. Sorry for not writing for Endo yet (I still haven’t gotten to him in the manga!). I enjoyed writing this. Sakura, please marry me!
Content Warning: Made with fem! reader in mind :) Reader x Haruka Sakura, Reader x Hajime Umemiya, Reader x Toma Hiragi. It's fluffy, except Hiragi does try to sneak something inappropriate in there. Also, tw: for body insecurities.
Word Count: 892 (it’s not about size, it’s what you do with it!)
Dividers by Saradika
Haruka Sakura
Quite frankly, Sakura is tired of your bullshit tonight. You’ve been acting out of the ordinary, hiding behind him, avoiding eye contact with others, and talking barely above a whisper.
“What is wrong with you?” His dual-colored eyes search yours for any indication of what might be your problem.
“You haven’t given me shit all night, and it’s startin’ to make me nervous!”
You briefly let out a small laugh, but it’s so barely detectable that Sakura can’t savor the sound.
You open your mouth but avert your eyes from him. “I…I’m being dumb, but I don’t like the way this dress feels on me. I shouldn’t have worn it, and now people are s-staring at me…”
Sakura looks around at the packed bar. Sure, he notices glances, but he knows what it’s like to be looked at as though you’re shit on the bottom of someone’s shoe, and that’s not what he’s seeing. He leans closer to you, his face so close that you can see the individual hairs of his eyelashes.
“Look at me. Everyone’s looking at you because you’re fucking gorgeous, and if someone did have anything to say about your dress,” he pauses, “my new favorite dress, I’ll kick their fucking asses!”
You look up at Sakura in pure adoration, love, and devotion—feeling the insecurity wash away as he looks down at you as though you are the only person in the entire world that matters–and to Haruka Sakura, that’s the case.
“The man that you are, Haruka.”
Hajime Umemiya
You stand nervously in the bathroom of Cafe Pothos as you splash cool water on your face. You feel on the verge of passing out as anxiety grips your throat and chest, making it hard to breathe.
Quick but soft knocks at the door break you out of your panic attack, and Umemiya’s soothing voice reaches you, “Y/N, my friends are here. Are you ok, babe?”
You are not ok.
You’ve been dating Umemiya for months, and everything had been perfect until he planned a meet-n-greet with his friends. Residual insecurity from partners who were cruel after their friends disapproved of you and what you looked like set you into a spiral that you couldn’t break out of.
But it’s now or never.
You pull open the door and give him your best attempt at a smile for someone who was just having a panic attack in a public restroom.
Umemiya knows exactly what’s going through your mind without you having to say it, and despite his constant praise of you, he understands that sometimes actions are far more effective.
He grabs you by the hand and pulls you into the central area of the cafe, where all of his friends sit. You want to crawl into yourself as all eyes are on you, but before you shut down, Umemiya speaks first.
“Guys! This is my girlfriend, Y/N. Please don’t embarrass me in front of her; she thinks I’m cool.”
Hiragi offers a kind smile, “Well, she’s going to be disappointed because there’s not a cool bone in your body. Nice to me ya, Y/N. He talks about you all the time.”
Your eyes get wide as you look up at a blushing Umemiya.
“Really?”
Someone you recognize as Tsubakino chimes in, “All the time, and who can blame him when you’re so cute?”
“Hey, guys, leave the complimenting my girl to me, please. Not trying to have you steal her.”
You feel Umemiya’s hand squeeze yours, and your shoulders relax as you wonder what you were worrying about to begin with.
Toma Hiragi
Hiragi sighs heavily as he listens to the continuous chatter of Umemiya who is giving a long-winded update on the state of horticulture efforts across North America. It’s a random topic, but Umemiya is in hyperfixation mode, and there’s no stopping him once he gets started.
You’re sitting with them, trying not to let your mind wander in case there’s a pop-quiz on the subject.
Hiragi looks at you and rolls his eyes with a smile; you manage a barely silent giggle in return.
Twenty minutes pass, and the torture ends; as Umemiya squeezes out of the booth and you stand up to allow him to pass, Hiragi follows suit, placing a hand on your stomach and giving the soft flesh a gentle squeeze almost on instinct.
Your face heats up because surely Umemiya saw that, but if he did, he says nothing as he waves goodbye to you both.
You quickly turn to Hiragi once Ume is out of sight, “Toma! Why’d you do that!?”
His brows furrow in confusion at your sudden outburst, “do what?”
“You grabbed my stomach in front of Ume and it was NOT an innocent grab!”
“There you go, being a pain in my ass again. What are you talking about? Ume knows you’re curvy, everyone knows, and I’ll be damned if I let you police my squeezing of you in public.”
“You are an undeniable pervert that should be on a list with other perverts!”
He shakes his head and pulls out his gas-kun10. For someone that he loves beyond a shadow of a doubt, you still somehow manage to stimulate the wrath of his poor digestive system.
“You owe me for that smart-ass remark, girl. You can sit on my-”
“TOMA!”
#wind breaker#windbreaker#wind breaker fluff#windbreaker fluff#hajime umemiya x reader#umemiya hajime x reader#hajime umemiya#hiragi x reader#hiragi toma x reader#toma hiragi#haruka sakura x reader#sakura haruka x reader#haruka sakura#tw: body image#tw:body insecurities#anon fulfilled#anon#request
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am i the only one who finds that premature ejaculation can actually be really hot? 😔 like idk about y’all but im pretty sure matt would be the type to cum quickly and even untouched sometimes because (yk hypersenses)and i think he wouldn’t be ashamed at all cause that man is a charming slut.
but it’s not like sex with him is quick cause i’m also sure that it is really NOT. he takes his sweet time with his partners and when he wants to last longer he just pulls off to let himself breath and his partners wouldn’t even notice why he is doing that because he’s so smooth with it that it just looks like he’s teasing them, yk? he’d pull off and eat them out or slow down his rhythm or even make his partners cum quicker by sliding his hand to their clit 😵💫🐰
also really specific fantasy of matt eating pussy (cause he’s a munch duh) and literally cumming on his pants just from it !! </33 so when you’re getting really close and your moans get louder his do too and you don’t really get why until after your climax he lifts himself up and you see that damp spot on his boxers
BUT while his heightened senses might make him cum quicker than usual they also give him a really high sex drive like ik that man is INSANE and he definitely compenses his sexual partners (which he canonically has a lot, i love my experienced man) by getting hard again in a matter of seconds
ANYWAYS 🤕
it's so hot whimper :( i got inspired...
i can see matt murdock climaxing two minutes into you riding him in earnest, bed swaying so hard his cane clatters to the ground from where it's propped up against the headboard. he chokes and wheezes from the overstimulation. maybe you graze your nails—they can be long or short—over his chest, nipples, stomach, with just the right amount of pain mixed in with the pleasure, and he'd twitch with every marking. because hitherto all his senses were trained on you, your expressions, curves, and breaths, until you got him where he was most sensitive, most guarded. his arms would come up and seize yours on instinct. maybe you'd gently push them back over his head, leaning down to cup his precious head in your hands, kiss his nose, and whisper sweet little nothings at him. i could see him barely croaking out that he's gonna cum if you don't stop riding him, before seizing up and lifting his hips so high into yours you're raised off the bed momentarily while he empties himself into you. flips you over a while later, and shoots another load into the bedsheets like a touch-starved teenage boy from the way your cunt wags into his face while he inhales your girlmusk.
also, i've said it before, but matt murdock strikes me as someone who prefers to make love with a consistent partner over flings with strangers. most wouldn't want to hear about his personal problems or really get to know him for who he is beyond the surface. but if he was with someone he felt completely safe, perceived, and accepted around, i could see him as capable of being made to cum in thirty seconds flat, anywhere, any place. lots of silly little quickies everywhere. as long as it's with you ^—^b
masterlist | share your mm fantasies
#inbox#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock smut#bunny brain#bun’s#>500 words#dom!reader#!overstimulation#!denialplay#!oral#sub!matt
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hi there! this isn’t about sex itself, but since periods are usually a part of sex ed and i’ve literally just been woken up because the cramps were bad enough, i thought i would ask — is it normal to be in a lot of pain when you’re on your period?
context: i still live with my abusive parents, who don’t let me take any kind of pain medication after a suicide attempt at thirteen, so i know that this problem might just be that i need to take a strong painkiller. also the pain doesn’t ever last more than three days? like the first three days (and sometimes the days leading up to it) of my period are always hell but then it’s fine, i have no pain afterwards.
but the problem is that the pain is… bad. like being woken up in the middle of the night because my sides hurt and my legs hurt isn’t uncommon, and there’s this weird thing where i’m scared to use the toilet during these first three days because it makes my butt and my sides hurt so much that i genuinely can’t move and have to bite myself to stop myself from screaming. sometimes i’ll be in so much pain, usually in my sides but also sometimes in my stomach or legs or my butt, that i can’t even move, so i just kind of… have to lie pressed into my bed and hold my breath.
my mother has always just told me that she had worse pain when she still used to get her period, and that i’d be completely fine if i just listened to her and used a hot water bottle (i have poor circulation, so hot/cold stuff just doesn’t really feel great for me usually), and i’ve always just kind of accepted that. i know it’s common for people who get periods to talk about how painful things like cramps are, but i genuinely usually feel so miserable for the first couple days of my period that if i don’t need to get out my bed, i literally won’t at all.
i’m just wondering… is everyone who gets periods in as much pain as i usually am, at least for the first couple days? or, since i know that people experience periods differently, are people in more/less pain than i am but it’s fine since this isn’t that bad and i should just take medication each month for it? idk, but ever since i started to get periods they’ve genuinely always made me feel so so bleak and in agony, and i’m someone i’d consider who has a maybe above ‘average’ pain tolerance (i have chronic back pain, migraines, and health issues that make it easy for me to sprain/fracture my ankles which i’ve unironically managed to do about eight times in the past two years — again, unfortunately all of this with mostly no painkillers unless i can get them from the school first aid box), so i just… don’t know anymore, but i thought it couldn’t hurt to ask.
anyways, unrelated but i really do love this blog — the reblogs are always good things to read as someone who’s still unpacking being raised by very puritanical parents, and the asks always offer good advice too, very empathetically in a way that sometimes catches me off guard (there was one post on here that was something about how the asker’s father would belittle them and i think your reply said something like ‘it’s not your fault and nothing’s wrong with that aspect of you’… which i know sounds obvious but that was something that i don’t think had ever been obvious to me ever since my father started doing the same when i was younger. it was really comforting to hear, is what i mean, and your replies often are. so thank you for that! and for the time + energy i can imagine it takes to run this, you post/rb so often!)
Hi! This is absolutely a sex ed question, you're right!
So, first, let me make one thing clear: no! You are not supposed to be in this level of pain on your period. Some pain is understandable but once it gets to the point it's bad/debilitating in Any fashion, something is going wrong.
But I also want to say, being in an abusive living situation can fuck up your periods. And so can being restricted from pain relief, which-just in case you're not aware-is another type of abuse.
But what you're talking about sounds like more than just a lack of basic pain relief. That's very disabling, even if it doesn't last long. It may be that intense reactions to periods run in your family [especially since your mother mentioned experiencing something similar] but that's still something you should be getting something like specialized pain meds for or even stopping your periods altogether.
What you're talking about, especially on top of an abusive living situation, is very unhealthy for you to have to deal with.
Not everyone is in that much pain. Some people are but that's a medical condition. It's a disability! What you're talking about is a disability. It can be caused by PMS or endometriosis or PMDD or it could even be connected to whatever causes your other chronic pain but it's still very much something your parents should be getting you checked out for.
Even if your mother had the exact same pain on her period, that doesn't mean you should have to suffer through it, especially not with her revoking your access to basic pain relief. That's all completely unacceptable and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.
I'm not sure how helpful this is but I hope it's at least good to know the pain levels you're dealing with are unacceptable and Not "normal" period pain.
Also I'm so glad you're learning and enjoying the blog, especially the advice. I also grew up in an abusive household so to hear it's helping someone else in a similar situation means the world to me, fr. �� Sending love, Anon. <3
#sex education#asks#periods#anatomy education#menstrual cycle#child abuse#neglect#disability education
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Okay so I need people are who are diagnosed as autistic to help me out here
I been suspecting for a long time (like around a year, maybe more idk) than I might be autistic, and I did research (genuinely, not just taking some Internet quiz and self-diagnosing based on it) and I want to know if there’s a genuine chance I might be autistic, or if I have a wrong view on autism (basically, if I’m wrong about it and what it means to be autistic).
Some things than happen to me than I’ve seen also happen to a big amount of autistic people
-Problems with food since very little. Not based on taste, but texture. Eating something with the wrong texture is just horrible.
-Always felt different from my peers, never quite fitting in because I didn’t know how to interact with them. As if they knew exactly what to do and I was just flying blind. I heard people say than they felt as if everyone was born with a book of rules, meanwhile they had to learn from watching everyone else already know them, and I think that’s the best way for me to explain it.
-Intense interests on stuff, really intense. Like, is all I can think about day and night, I relate everything to it in some way or another, I know everything about it down to the smallest detail, some might call me obsessed and I wouldn’t deny it. Reminds me of the way people with autism describe their hiperfixations.
-People thought I was “gifted” as a kid, and said than I was a kid with the mind of an adult. I’m no genius, I was just interested on different stuff than other kids. I was the first one to learn to read and I never stopped. I basically lived in the library as a kid. I have a vivid memory of when I must have been like 10 and saying than my favorite thing in the world was reading and some friends looking at me like I was crazy. I’m mentioning this not because people who are autistic are “gifted”, but more because I heard they are usually interested in different stuff than their peers (doesn’t have to be more mature, it can be more immature stuff too, I think. Goes hand in hand with feeling different from everyone). Continuing on books, I also always had a higher reading level than the rest of my class. I was “a pleasure to have in class but should speak out more” kid.
-Looking back they were obviously bullying me, but I thought than they were laughing with me, not at me.
-I can’t hear the tone of my voice?? For some reason?? Sometimes I speak too loudly or too quietly or my mom says I’m being rude for “talking back” but in my head my voice is the same level and uses the same tone. So if I’m ever rude I probably don’t notice (I hate being rude to people).
-I read about overstimulation and under stimulation and it perfectly described the way I feel a lot of time. Specially overstimulation.
-If talking about something I really enjoy (hiperfixations?) I can’t be still. I’ll probably smile and fidget with something and the mere mention of it or anything regarding it outside of online spaces makes me want to scream out of excitement. Like, a really abnormal reaction to it, I believe.
-I prefer to be home on my own than outside (specially if there’s lots of people around). I don’t know if it’s hard for me to see how people are feelings, given than I learnt to notice when people don’t want me somewhere (eventually you get used to it) but sometimes when people are being nice to me I’m completely unable to see if they’re being genuine or not. An example, I was forced to spend a week sharing a room with this pair of really popular girls because of a school trip, and they were nice to me, starting conversations and stuff. So because they seemed nice, I thought they were nice. But at the end of the week I approached them and they gave me the dirtiest look and I realize they weren’t actually being genuine, they were just kind of being forced to be nice to me.
-I hate changes of routine, everyday I have the same routine and if someone wants it to change (go somewhere and do something together) they have to tell me at least a day in advance. Unless I really like them, I will feel uneasy to change my routine because it makes me feel as if I was messing everything up.
-I don’t know if it has anything to do with this, but I’m adding it just in case. I hated physical touch as a kid. Up until some years ago, I couldn’t stand it. Also don’t know if it’s related, but I always had trouble sleeping, I heard that might be a symptom but I don’t know.
-I went to a speech therapist as a kid because I couldn’t pronounce the letter s and I pronounced it as z, sometimes it still comes out. I heard problems in speech might be related but I doubt it, just adding just in case.
-I have a big sense of justice. For example everyone in my class cheats on their exams (they don’t even hide it, is more, they brag about it), and that has always upset me. Not because they can copy while I actually study, but because cheating is wrong. That’s not how it works. Why are they breaking the rules. Or for example they bring their phones to school (not nearly as bad as cheating) which is forbidden, and I don’t understand why they do that. It’s forbidden, so why?
-I notice patterns in almost everything, I also focus more on the little details than the big picture, which leads to both overthinking but also better results.
-I need people to speak to me separately. Having a conversation with two people at the same time feels like a nightmare.
-I need people to tell me things, if they want me to do them. If you made something for me to eat, don’t just put it on the table, tell me it’s for me. Otherwise I won’t touch it out of fear it’s not mine. When given instructions, I need them to be clear and detailed. All people my age are doing stuff like going to parties, drinking alcohol, meanwhile I never think of doing it and also, never knew I could do it? When did the change between going to the park to hang out without our parents for the first time and going to a party with alcohol around lots of strangers happened? Why did no one told me? How does everyone just know when to change and grow up? Why don’t I?
-Something I also noticed is than every fictional character I related to had various autism symptoms (said by people on the fandoms who are actually autistic).
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you're confused about your emotions ? me too babe, here's a quick reading
I chose random images from my pinterest to read into your energy so you can choose randomly aswell, whatever speaks to you♡ also Idk what's with the 2016 songs today but I kept hearing random ones throughout this reading maybe there's some resonance for you
Pile 1
The Moon🌜
first off I'm hearing that song "we don't talk anymore" by Charlie Puth. So maybe you're dealing with some kind of loss right now, maybe a breakup, a fight with a loved one, a new chapter meaning you have to leave someone behind a little... if this is the case, or similar, allow yourself to be "thrown off" a little, those kinds of situations take adjusting and remember that nothing has to be forever. where I come frome we say : "thunderstorms clear the air" meaning that after a fight there's great potential for healthy communications and solving problems once and for all, for a peaceful and harmonic environment♡ A reading about your emotional state and I pull the moon, how well fitting. The answer truly lays on the inside with this one. no one can tell you how you truly feel exept for yourself! (and maybe your therapist) I think for most of you there's a new season starting and you're realising that it can't be all returning characters. Take some time to heal your relationship with relationships and analyze what and who is truly of good value to your life. you got this!
Pile 2
four of swords🗡 and page of pentacles🪙
for you I'm hearing that song "cold water" with Justin Bieber. And you actually need to take a jump into cold water. There's something you've been manifesting and now that it's slowly getting closer you're resisting the change. Maybe by refusing to let go ? It's like little kids now around Christmas, you can actually watch this happen with slight alterations, all the time. Their parents take them to the toystore so they can see what they like, and they child ofcourse find something but their parents tell them okay now time to go home and wait and see if Santa will bring it. But the kid clings to the shelves and doesn't wanna leave behind the thing they so desperately wanted. Little does it now that their parents just need to get them out of sight so "Santa" can buy the gift and deliver it WHEN IT IS TIME. let go of obsessing, overthinking and trying to "go the right path" and just let the story unfold, take it step by step even if its a little scary and you'll find yourself where you're supposed to be, you're so close already♡
Pile 3
seven of swords🗡
It's too heavy darling you can't carry all of that. You might think you do and you think you're so strong and abundant and successful for "having" all of that but then you wouldn't be feeling like this, would you? A burden, too much responsibility, too many goals or to do's for a person who only has 24hours in a day. I know the card typically speaks about actual betrayal but in this case it feels a little paranoid, like you're desperately trying to do it all on your own because your scared of beeing betrayed or someone messing with your vision or even catching evil eye. For you I'm hearing "Lady Marmalade" yk from Moulin Rounge !? I'm not sure how that fits in here and I never watched the movie but oh well, maybe you know what to do with this information. There could be something about sisterhood and sharing a problem (could be workload or talking about problems...). You might have that lonely wolf mindset, but no matter how strong you are, out there, beeing alone can get you killed. I keep seeing pictures of spiritual communities and churches, you might wanna be looking for something like a mediation or yoga class, bible study group, a coven.... depending on your beliefsystem! you're right not everyone is your friend but also not everyone is your enemy!
ps. reading back this comes off a little weird and I feel like I need to say this. please don't join a cult lol. If you are in some kind of group and things feel off, please take care of yourself♡
hope that helped <3
#aa#free reading#selfcare#self love#tarot#emotional health#tarotblr#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a picture#manifestation#intuitive readings#selfhelp
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this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong
and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)
then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty
and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games
its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?
correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former
when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-
im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one
like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?
maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)
i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do
maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#and thats enough personal talk for today#already feeling shitty enough#im also really bad at lying- if some of this seems self centered then .. i guess it is- im sorry?#dont think im ever gonna be a perfect human being#even while trying to better myself#:(
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Soulmate Garden AU Ch.2 (Anemone) a3d2
[Caution: These are not full fics, or even full parts of fics for some, these are part of my writing progress archive!]
Concept: Growing up, you knew Soulmates weren't all that they cracked up to be. So when, on your 18th birthday, your skin is painted with a garden of flower buds, you resolve to hide it from everyone. Who had ever heard of someone with 8 soulmates, anyway?
Or; Reader has 8 soulmates and no issue avoiding all of them. It's up to SKZ to show her that while every soulbond might not be made of fairy tales, theirs certainly could be.
Word Count: 4,218
Notes: I don't feel like the summary completely matches this story anymore. I'm also not really satisfied with this chapter, but I'm too tired to really get into a whole bunch of drafts and edits, I've just really been feeling poorly lately. The archive is for writing progress anyways, it's fine. I'll probably rewrite this whole chapter if I ever get to where I'd be comfortable posting finished versions to Ao3. I'm also just not fond of my writing style somehow. It feels too formal, doesn't flow enough. Problem is that I really talk like that lmao. Idk, I'll figure it out.
Dividers by @saradika
Warnings: She/Her Reader
Leave me comments or questions or anything! Love hearing from folks <3
Masterlist <3 | Prev Part | Next Part
Bangchan clambered into the van behind Felix, Minho and Jisung loading into the row in front of them. It always felt a bit weird to not spend some time swapping seatmates around based on who was clinging to who at the moment, but on days like today it was easier to just board the vehicles as quick as possible.
He's ended up with a relatively quite combination of their cluster today, and Chan was grateful for it as he settled into his seat with a pained grimace.
He wasn’t sure when it had started, but a persistent on-and-off pain had been roaming around his back for the last twenty minutes as they’d said goodbye to Stays and prepared to leave the venue. He’d be more worried about it, except the sharp, needle-like, pains would settle into a gentler ache before kicking back up again.
As it was, Chan was pretty sure he’d pinched a nerve or strained something and would simply rest when he got back to the hotel. Maybe call up the PT. For now, as three of his soulmates settled in around him, Chan was content to leave it be.
Well, almost. Another twinge of pain makes him wince as he twists to buckle in, and Chan decides that maybe it’d be a good idea to know what he was working with. For comfort’s sake, if nothing else.
“Felix,” He prods the blond next to him, “Can you look at my back for me? I think I pinched something.” He motions toward his lower back, where the majority of the pain had been accumulating.
Felix immediately nods his acceptance, their group’s resident massage expert always willing to lend a hand. Especially if it let him lay hands on his very well built soulmates.
Chan scooches forward and rotates around, balancing with his hand on the headrest of the seat in front of him. He helps Felix shimmy his shirt upwards, struggling with it where it gets caught in the seat-belt.
Chan ends up stuck struggling on his own as Felix chooses that moment to direct his eyes and hands to the afflicted area.
“There’s your first issue,” Felix tuts, “You’ve left your concealment tape on. You’ll give yourself a rash one of these days, hyung.”
Chan gives a sheepish smile from where he’s managed to trap himself in a cloth prison. His head is free, and the shirt his appropriately bunched up over his shoulders and around his neck. Unfortunately, he hadn’t managed to free his hands, so he’s got a bit of a t-Rex thing going on right now. It’s fine.
“I forget it’s there,” he confesses with a whine, “I can’t see my own back, y’know?”
Felix rolls his eyes at their oh-so-glorious leader, carefully peeling the thin material away from Chan’s skin as he scolds, “You still need to take it off. We sweat way too much to not at least change it after a performance.”
He’s bunching up the extra-strength tape to maybe toss at Jisung in the front seat (maybe Minho, if he’s feeling very brave), when he spots something off.
More than half a decade into having found each other, the members of Stray Kids were intimately familiar with each other’s soulmarks. Every drop of color, every line, every curve.
So when Felix looks at the freshly uncovered canvas on Chan’s back, familiar trees, bushes, and rocks painting a forested landscape that describes their impact on their eldest, something new immediately catches his eye.
There, on the fallen log that bridged two banks of a crystal-clear creek, was a moss blanket and a cluster little shelf mushrooms. They added life to the previously defunct object, a little bit of color that couldn’t have been said to be missing until it wasn’t.
The closer Felix looked, the more he saw. A mushroom here, a mossy patch there. Little signs of life and decay that he could have sworn weren’t there the last time he looked.
He looks to Jisung, who’s blissfully unaware.
As the first of their cluster to paint Chan’s skin with color, he was the most familiar with their leader’s mark. Jisung had been too young for his own mark to have appeared when he’d met Chan, but that didn’t stop him from influencing their eldest’s. They all knew he’d spent a lot of time studying Chan’s mark (and Changbin’s when it had appeared, already partially colored in) while waiting for his own.
If there was anyone who’d be more than certain of a change in their soulmarks, it’d be Jisung.
Felix swiftly removes his hands from Chan’s back, earning him a little noise of confusion from the prone man, and reaches over to poke Jisung harshly in the side.
Jisung immediately flinches away from the offending fingers with a loud yelp, attracting the attention of Minho, who’d been peacefully scrolling on his phone. Jisung swiftly fixes Felix with an offended glare, ready to retaliate, but is cut off before he can even try.
“Look at Chan’s mark for me.” Felix demands.
“My mark?” Chan echoes, baffled and alarmed. “What’s wrong with my mark?”
“Nothing, hyung,” Felix assures, “I just need to check I’m not seeing things.”
A series of furtive, silent, and, on Felix’s part, urgent, gestures are exchanged before Jisung finally relents and leans around the back of his seat, grabbing Minho’s for balance as the van departs.
Jisung lazily traces his eyes over Chan’s soulmark. All of Stray Kids had huge marks, but Jisung privately thought that Chan had them all beat. His mark spanned his entire back, not an inch untouched by the image. From shoulder to hip was an oil painting of a mark, filled in from what used to be a desolate landscape to what was now a thriving forest.
Jisung used to think it was so overwhelming to be part of such a mark. To be loved so much, and so deeply. It was evident in every brushstroke of the image on Chan’s skin, and in every action of the man himself.
These days, he found great comfort in it.
He’d gotten so lost in thought as he studied his soulmate’s mark that Jisung had almost missed what had caught Felix’s attention in the first place. But sure enough, his eyes catch on the same log that Felix’s had.
“Oh.” He whispers to himself. “Oh.” He says again, as Minho shoves his head under Jisung’s arm to look himself.
“No, yeah, that’s different.” He confirms, Minho nodding against him, having already spotted it for himself. The two of them find their eyes glued to tiny mushrooms, only sparing a moment to glance at each other before returning their gaze to Chan’s skin, each with their own racing thoughts.
“I thought so.” Felix nods to himself.
“What?” Chan questions, becoming more alarmed by the second, “What’s going on? What’s happened? What’s wrong with my mark?”
Felix lays his palms flat on Chan’s back and begins to rub gentle, soothing, circles. Any changes to a soulmark were stressful at the best of times, and they all knew how much Chan treasured his.
“There’s nothing wrong,” Felix soothes, letting the warmth of Chan’s mark resonating with his touch calm them both as he searches for gentle words.
“It’s just,” He begins hesitantly, “Well, the good news is that you haven’t pinched or strained anything.”
“Good news?” Chan echoes, “Is there bad news?” He lets a nervous giggle fall from his lips even as he relaxes into Felix’s hands.
“Not necessarily?” Felix says uncertainly, “It’s just. Well. Your mark has changed.” He pauses a second and pulls out his phone, quickly snapping a picture and then passing it around so Chan can see. “Something’s been added.”
Felix lets the implication of his words sit untouched in the air as the three of them wait for Chan to process what this means.
Ironically, Chan was the least familiar with his own mark out of all of them. His and Minho’s both resided on their backs so it stood to reason that the two of them didn’t see their marks very often. So it was no surprise that it took Chan several, very long, moments to spot the tiny changes.
When he does, Chan pulls in a deep, stuttering breath. The pain is already fading out to an ache now that it’s been acknowledged and Chan isn’t sure how he feels about the extra confirmation.
He carefully pulls his shirt back down, breaking his soulmate’s line of sight like they hadn’t already burned the image onto their retinas. He doesn’t remove his eyes from Felix’s phone.
“I...” He trails off, “I have another soulmate?” His voice is filled with wonder as he marvels at the picture of his mark. He looks up at the rest of his soulmates currently in the van with awe. “We have another soulmate?”
“Yeah,” Minho whispers, voice choked with emotion, “Yeah it looks like it.”
Felix doesn’t wait for Chan to fully turn around before he’s pulling their leader into a bone-crushing hug, giddy, disbelieving, laughter spilling out of him even as tears prick at his eyes.
“Oh my god!” Felix celebrates quietly as Chan wiggles to return his hug just as tightly. “Oh my god.” The other man agrees.
Even as his soulmates celebrate around him, each feeling their own storm of emotions, Chan can’t quite grasp the reality of the situation.
Stray Kids was a uniquely large soul cluster. From the beginning, when it had become evident that Hannie wasn’t his only soulmate, it had caused issues. Then came Bin, and the rest had followed like dominos. Each time their circle expanded he’d thought “this has to be it, right?” and each time there was a little voice in the back of his mind saying, “No, not yet.”
The issue was that that feeling, that little voice saying ”not yet”, the knowledge that they weren’t complete, had never gone away.
By the time they had all met, none of them could spot anything obviously missing from their marks. All of them were completely colored, lines drawn, images complete. And yet, every one of them felt that hollowness of an incomplete bond.
They’d talked about it a lot. Individually, as a group, in pairs and in quartets and seemingly endless combinations. It was hard, as the years went by, to ignore that nagging feeling.
Chan would always remember Jeongin crawling into his bed in the middle of the night, crying and apologizing for not being enough. Could never forget taking Jisung to a rage room so they could both break down their feelings or drinking with Changbin and wondering if it was wrong for them to be so greedy as to want more when they already had so much.
After so many years, they’d begun to wonder if they were just broken. If they didn’t have another soulmate out there after all, and it was all in their heads.
It had been hard. It was hard.
And now that little blank space in his soul was painted with someone else’s colors and Chan felt whole in a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever experience.
It kind of made him want to cry.
He wanted to cry even more when Felix innocently asks, “So what were they like?” An unmatched eagerness in his eyes as Chan pulled away.
That one guileless question triggers a realization in Chan that has his groaning in despair and slumping forward back onto Felix’s shoulder.
“I don’t know.” Chan mumbles into the shoulder of the slighter man.
“What was that?” Jisung questions from where he and Minho were still turned toward him, obviously as curious as Felix.
“I said I don’t know!” Chan wails, wilting further into Felix’s frame.
“How do you not know?” Minho questions incredulously. Felix gasps as he connects dots he’d been too excited to before.
“I didn’t even know my mark had changed before now,” Chan explains miserably, “I don’t even know exactly when the pain started.”
Jisung sucks in a hiss of air, sympathy splashed across his face. “Oh geeze,” he breathes out, “How many people have we met today alone?”
“Ok, well,” Felix interjects, “Not ideal, but we’ll figure it out!”
Minho turns his incredulous stare onto the optimistic man.
"How are we going to figure it out?" He demands, "Because there were tens of thousands of people in that stadium and I know every single one of us shook dozens of hands tonight."
Felix wilts a little bit even as Jisung comes to his defense, "We kind of have to figure it out, hyung," he points out, "And soon. We're back to Seoul soon."
"Okay but how?" Minho challenges, "And don't give me any 'with the power of love and fate' crap."
"We might have to rely on fate." Chan shrugs, dejected. "It's not like I have a description or anything to give out."
"It'll be okay Channie hyung," Felix pats Chan's back lightly from where they're still entangled together, "It'll have to be."
The van descends into silence as the four of them contemplate their new situation. After a few minutes Chan leverages himself up and out of Felix's embrace to frown aimlessly at his knees.
"Well," Felix breaks the silence, "We don’t have any more shows after this, and we have some days of break time, right?”
“Right,” Chan confirms, “We have tomorrow off and then we’re returning to Seoul to start working on the next album.”
“But officially,” Felix hedges, “We have, like, an entire week off, don’t we?”
“Not quite, but sure,” Chan hesitantly agrees.
“Well, we know they were in town for the concert at least,” Felix continues, “So as long as they didn’t leave the city immediately after, I mean, there's seven more first contacts to go, right?”
“Are you saying we should spend our break wandering around trying for first contacts?” Jisung asks, “Because I’m all for searching for them, but I don’t know that aimless wandering is gonna help.”
Chan holds up his hands to halt that conversation before it could devolve into a bigger debate.
“Let’s shelve that for now, and meet up with the others at the hotel,” He suggests, “We should discuss this as a group anyways.”
He receives a variety of agreements and the four of them settle in for the short remaining drive back to their hotel. He absently hands Felix’s phone back to him and retrieves his own from his pocket to ask the others to meet them in his room.
Chan looks out the window, post-concert fatigue all but a memory. As the buildings pass by, he can’t help but hope that their mystery soulmate was looking for them too.
You reaffirm your decision to never ever meet your soulmates as Taylor loads you into the car, arm wrapped protectively around your shoulder the whole way.
It was one thing when your stupidly large soul cluster was just an idea. Knowledge you held, but unactionable in any way.
It was another when you had evidence, in the form of little white flowers burning with warmth on your skin, that they were real, physical, people.
Even worse when you knew that they were a group of very famous musicians.
You hadn’t actually been sick when you’d texted Taylor, who’d thankfully managed to get all of the autographs he’d wanted before he’d checked his phone to try to find you, but you were getting there. Anxiety had nausea creeping up your throat like molasses.
You’re beyond grateful when your roommate doesn’t question your sudden illness, the both of you well aware that you were hale and hearty when you’d left the house.
Taylor just buckles you in like you’re something precious and fragile and takes the wheel.
The two of you drive in silence the entire way home. It’s not awkward, but you can’t deny the weight of something heavy in the air. The buzz of the concert still lingered between the two of you, and it only made the silence stifling and itchy.
When you pull into your apartment complex neither of you speak for a long moment.
“Sorry for ruining the day.” You murmur to the air in front of you. Taylor just reaches over to pat your thigh and unclip your seatbelt.
“You didn’t ruin anything,” He assures, “Don’t sweat it.” He hesitates a moment before continuing.
“I’m not gonna push,” Taylor begins gently, “But you know you can talk to me, right? Whatever happened, I’m not gonna judge. I just wanna be here for you.”
“What makes you think something happened?” You mutter mulishly. Taylor just gives you a look that has you sinking into your seat.
“It’s nothing. I’m just being dramatic.” You admit. He bumps your shoulder with his and climbs out of the car.
“It’s not nothing if it makes you feel something.” He tells you as he goes. The two of you walk up to the apartment in silence, contemplative this time.
You think about telling him as the two of you separate to wash the concert off of yourselves. You think about it as you take turns using the bathroom and as you make dinner side by side. You think about it as you settle in front of the couch at his feet as his hands automatically pull your head to his knees, his fingers digging into your hair just how you like.
You want to tell him, you decide. You do. It's just that. Well...
Your sister was right, in a way. You’d known Taylor for over a year now, but the two of you didn’t really know much about each other. You really were just roommates.
You didn’t know what his favorite color was. You didn’t know the names of his parents, or if he had any siblings. You barely knew what he did for a living. He’d only ended up your roommate by virtue of you responding to his “roommate wanted” ad with full willingness to be murdered on the spot.
At the same time, the two of you knew everything about each other. You knew how he took his coffee in the morning, that he preferred his eggs dry and over-seasoned. You knew the bands he liked and the games he played. You knew his hobbies better than you knew your own sometimes, and more about his friend’s drama that you ever wanted to.
You know the important things, you think.
You know that every word you tell him in confidence will be clutched tightly all the way to the grave.
“I met my soulmate today.” You confess, your cheek pressed to his knee, half-asleep.
The words somehow feel like they were snatched from the darkest depths of your soul as they spill from your lips. You make no move to take them back.
Taylor’s hand, to his credit, only pauses for a moment. Then he treats your hushed admission like any other comment made while you nod off to dramas the both of you know you only watch for him, resuming the soothing movement of his hand and humming lightly to acknowledge you.
You think it’s that casual treatment that lets you find the courage to continue.
“Well, one of them anyway.” You mumble. Taylor hums his interest, but doesn't take his eyes off of the screen and doesn’t stop petting your hair.
“I don’t want to meet them. There’s so many of them and only one of me, y'know? I don’t even know how to love myself, how am I supposed to love eight other people?” Taylor says nothing still, his eyes glued to an episode of a drama you know the two of you have already finished three times over.
“I’m scared I’ll fuck it up. I’m scared they’ll fuck me up.” Your voice cracks as you breathe life into one of your deepest fears. You realize as you say it that you’ve never voiced these thoughts aloud before, even to yourself.
Tears prick at the back of your eyes when you admit, “I’m not ready for them. I don’t think I can be.”
Taylor finally gives in to the seriousness of the conversation and hauls you bodily up onto the couch. You go willingly, but with rag-doll limpness. He rearranges you to his liking and you find yourself in Gossip Position, sitting criss-cross facing him.
“First of all,” He starts in, his usual levity giving way to a seriousness you rarely see from him, “Don’t be mean to my best friend. I’ll hit you.” You ignore his threat in favor of the warm feeling in chest at hearing him call you his best friend.
Take THAT Ma! No friends your glorious behind.
“Secondly, you are literally the most loving person I have ever met in my life. You would fit the entire world in there if you could,” He pokes your chest, right above your heart, for emphasis, “So I’m not that surprised you have more than one soulmate.”
“I have eight though,” You argue, “Isn’t that weird?”
Taylor just shrugs. “I mean, yeah. But weird is basically your brand, so...” He trails off with a teasing smirk.
You shove him a bit in retaliation, but he just grabs your wrists to still you and continues speaking before you can argue.
“I don’t think eight soulmates is enough for you, honestly,” He muses, “I mean it when I say you’re the most loving person I know. I think you’d even try to take care of Danny if he needed you to.” The mention of Taylor’s very creepy second cousin sends a shiver down both of your spines.
The worst part is that you can’t even argue with him.
“But you know, even with eight soulmates, you don’t have to be with them.” Taylor suddenly switches tracks to reassure you, “They’re your soulmates sure, but you’re your own person. They’re for you, it’s not like they are you. You can live without, if you really want to.”
The two of you let that statement settle for a moment. He’s right, you know all too well. Still, the thought leaves a wad of uncomfortable and complicated feelings lodged in your throat.
After a moment’s pause, you break the silence.
“I have too many years of trauma and not enough therapy money to unpack everything I’m feeling right now.”
Taylor cracks first, and giggles come pouring out of the two of you. The joke wasn’t even funny, but you guessed the two of you had been serious for far too long.
Some minutes later, when the giggles finally die down and you return to watching Taylor’s show, you find yourself with your head on his shoulder.
“Whatever you decide, you know I’m here for you, right?” Taylor quietly picks up where the conversation had left off.
“Sure,” you agree, “Like I was there for you when you cried over a boy I told you wasn’t shit.” You completely deserve the elbow to the side you receive for that comment.
“Shut up, I’m being cheesy!” Taylor scolds with a laugh.
“I’m lactose intolerant!” You complain, but obligingly fall silent.
“Seriously,” Taylor insists, “I’ll be here every step of the way. Whatever you need.”
You wrap your arms around the one of his that you’re leaning on and give a gentle squeeze to show your appreciation. “Thanks Tay.” you murmur.
“Of course. You got me front row tickets to a SKZ concert, we’re ride or die whether you like it for not!” You poke his side to scold him for not being serious after just insisting that you be, but end up having to fight for your life when he immediately retaliates by trying to tickle you.
It takes the two of you quite a while to calm down again, Taylor smug in his victory. He holds your ankles in his lap like trophies of war as you stare at the ceiling. The quiet creeps back in quickly, so you speak.
“I’m just not sure what I want, I think.” You tell him, “I don’t want to meet them. But at the same time, I really do, y’know?”
Taylor nods, “Just let the universe do its thing.” he suggests, “If you’re meant to meet them now, you’ll meet them regardless of what you want. But after you meet them, it’s all up to you.”
You nod along, humming your acceptance of his advice. He’s right, again. You can’t really fight fate, even if you desperately want to. But even within that large restraint, you’re a human being with free will. The world is your oyster and all that.
You let your thoughts fade out and just listen to Taylor yap about the drama on the TV as he finally tunes back into it.
It’s nearly dawn when the two of you decide to turn in, post-concert jitters having deserted you and heavy conversations having taken their toll.
“Did you manage to get their name before you bolted?” Taylor asks out of nowhere as you’re walking to your respective rooms. “Your soulmate’s” He clarifies at your confused look.
“Oh, I didn’t need to.” You answer absentmindedly, already opening your door and dreaming of your cozy sheets. “It was Bangchan.”
You close your door on his gawping face, blissfully unaware of the crisis you’d just sent him into.
Perma Tag List: @Mbioooo0000
#skz x reader#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#skz fanfic#w.i.p fic#skz fic#w.i.p#baby writes#SGAU#Soulmate Garden AU#Soulmate AU#SKZ soulmate AU#stray kids soulmate au
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idk who needs to hear this but you *can* relate to someone’s struggles with a specific disorder without having said disorders
it’s honestly one of my biggest frustrations when you’re venting about a disorder you have or see people talking about it online and then you see people chime in “omg I didn’t think I had this but I relate to this so I have it!” and i don’t mean those people who have genuine concerns about having a specific disorder. (fyi, if you have genuine concerns regarding a specific disorder you may have, this isn’t about you!! it’s perfectly valid to stumble upon a disorder you didn’t know existed that explains your situation perfectly and have questions about it <3)
i’ll use this as an example but if someone is currently struggling through cancer and they vent to you about extreme exhaustion and fatigue, most people wouldn’t be like “omg I feel exhausted and fatigued too!! i must have cancer!” but would probably say something along the lines of “ive struggled through exhaustion and fatigue myself due to other reasons so i can understand what you’re going through and how you feel.” it’s okay to have questions about disorders and want to know more to maybe better situations you’re going through/ are in but just seeing one thing you relate to and claiming a whole disorder because of it can be very damaging to the people who have said disorders.
as someone with a cluster b personality disorder, there’s already so much stigma around them and that’s excluding all my other disorders/ problems. i’ve seen people who have no idea what BPD is, relate to a small portion of it, claim it as something they have with no research into it or professional advice, and then unknowingly play into stereotypes or spread more stigma about it. there’s so much more to a disorder than one or two things you see someone posting about. there’s also a lot of other things someone could have that also change how disorders present themselves in different people.
a person can have disorder A and vent about it but what you don’t know is that they also have disorder B, C, D, and E. although their main post is about disorder A, disorder C, D and E can also be big factors in it without you knowing. you might be relating more to the disorder C and E aspect of it over the “main” disorder A part of it than you really realize.
the purpose of me saying all this is not to be hateful, “gatekeep”, discourage people who genuinely have concerns, want to participate in genuine conversations about these topics, or for any other malicious reason. im just coming at this as a person to who’s genuinely really exhausted. it’s already so hard living with certain disorders and then you see people online who glorify, romanticize, or even fetishize certain disorders while cause harm to those people who genuinely suffer from it.
i stumbled upon someone’s post on a different platform and her whole shtick was “i have BPD but I’m uber normal abt it and not bat shit insane like literally everyone else who has it + having FPs is totally amazing and not super draining and exhausting” and it was honestly heartbreaking. her whole reasoning for having bpd was that she got obsessive over people she was in love with so therefore it was her FPs and got depressed if they didn’t spend time with her.
if you’re genuinely curious and have real concerns, please do your hardest to research it and/ or seek professional advice if possible. don’t put others who have the disorder down when they don’t meet or work with your agenda. thank you.
#actually ocd#actually bpd#actually autistic#actually mentally ill#actually delusional#actually adhd#actually bipolar#actually anxious#actually manic#mentally fucked#mentally unstable#mentally exhausted#bpd problems#bpd tag#bpd safe#bpd#bpd life#bpd things#bpd blog#bipolor#autism#adhd#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#bpd vent#vent#vent post#borderline pd#cluster b
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Alright I’m back on my TMA bullshit welcome to the circus. This is a long with many episodes worth of thoughts so strap in
62. Holy FUCK. Mary fucking Keay is here and she’s killing people and putting their skin in a book to. Summon them again??? I have truly no understanding of the implications of this but what the hell man. Also Gertrude is either fucking crazy or knew waaaay more than we do (or both. Both is a solid option at this point) cuz she took everything very well. Also when asked who the book was from, Keay just said “The End”??? Like fucking Minecraft???? Idk what the hell this lady is talking about.
(Also I feel like I recognize the idea of a “The *blank*” in this series. I can’t remember if we’ve seen it before or if I’ve just collected some knowledge after being on the outskirts of the fandom for so long but. Whatever it is it’s fucked and I’m intrigued)
63 What is up with this fucking architect guy what is his deal???? Why does he keep building fucked up places where fucked up things happen??? Also weird that the people in the church seem to know/want to cover up something is odd. Also also the end with Melanie King coming back was an interesting lil thing, of all the characters I expected to be recurring I was not expecting her. Don’t like that she got saddled with Not-Sasha though, hopefully it’s nothing or there are at least other witnesses to her leaving cause otherwise she might not be as recurring anymore. Idk what Not-Sasha’s deal is but I Do Not like it
64. ARCHAEOLOGY MENTION FUCK YEAH. I could honestly go on a whole rant about just how much I dislike Gwynne based on her ideals when it comes to archaeology, as someone who wants to be in the field myself, but I digress. I am curious about the fact that this is someone clearly long dead who still was conscious in some capacity? Clearly they didn’t want to continue as they were. It sounds sort of similar to something one of the officers mentioned in an episode they were giving statements (can’t remember which). One of them mentioned being called to a scene where someone who seemed like they should’ve been dead from a suicide attempt kept trying to reach for the gun. The moment where the skeleton was trying to stab themself in the chest gave me a very similar vibe in the worst possible way.
65. I am following maybe 3 of the words this woman is saying in the first 7 or so minutes. But also the stuff she mentions with the man eating the computer is so unbelievably unsettling, and the stuff he was saying is fascinating. “The maze is sharp on my mind. The angles cut me when I try to think” especially reminds me of all the variations of endless mazes or places we’ve seen in the show so far. Jon reaching out to specifically tech savvy people is also super smart, and it’s sick that he has access to Gertrude’s laptop now. Tim and Jon fighting felt like listening to parents fighting. Im glad Jon is both getting a stern talking to and Tim is getting some sort of understanding of where Jon’s coming from. The fact that they both mention they can’t quit/can’t fire the other is interesting especially. I know stuff like that has been mentioned before, I’m pretty sure after the first encounter with the worms Martin mentioned something about “why don’t I quit?” But regardless it’s just another weird fuckin thing going on
66. Mikael fucking Salesa, what is your problem. I honestly don’t have a lot to say about this episode, definitely another example of weird extradimensional spaces, and some mentions of the weird, unexplainable heat, but also the way he mentioned the box “punishing him” as if it was a living thing was interesting. I also have a lot of thoughts on the stuff mentioned about Gertrude, and I’m really fascinated by all the stuff Jon mentioned about stopping asking about who killed her and focusing more on the why. As we’ve actually gotten to hear some of her recordings, esp the one with Mary Keay where she’s incredibly nonchalant about the murder and skin book, I think it’s an interesting idea that she may have been more suspicious that we thought.
Finally I think her lil shopping list was interesting, but honestly it’s the more mundane stuff rather than the Leitners that interest me, but I’ll probably make a seperate post about that cause it kinda rolls into a theory I’ve been sitting on for a little bit now
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Spider-Sitters
(Miguel O'hara x reader)
Synopsis: Peter needs a babysitter for the evening and who better to ask than you and Miguel?
Warnings: Idk baby fever maybe, this is kinda cute, got my heart melt a little
Sitting on one of the brightly illuminated chairs you spun in place absentmindedly, nothing particular in mind as you'd only really been there to keep Miguel company. The man having been working all day without taking any sort of break- despite you bothering him about taking at least one.
‘This can't wait it has to be done as soon as possible’ was always the answer- something you and Lyla both agreed was a bit much but what could you do besides just sit there and hope your presence someone eased the man’s nerves.
“Incoming Spider-Personel.” Lyla’s voice came and went quickly as the platform began it’s slow dramatic descent, the platform barely nearing the floor when a small figure had fallen from the ceiling- your spider sense quickly kicking in as you’d shot a web catching the small redhead; your lips curling into a smile right away.
“May May! Hi sweetie! How are you?” Cooing your words at the small child she giggled in response, her small hands making grabby hands towards where Miguel stood, drawing out a laugh from you. “No no honey Miguel’s a little busy.”
Another person had joined the platform soon after Mayday had, Peter's apologetic face coming quickly into view as he began talking to you as opposed to your clearly annoyed partner. “Sorry for dropping by so unexpectedly but I have a favour to ask.”
Propping Mayday onto your hip you motioned for the man to continue, his next set of words enticing a huff in annoyance from Miguel.
“Well, I was wondering if you could watch Mayday for the evening, wife and I wanted to have a sort of date night and you know finding a babysitter for a baby that can crawl on walls- uh that might but be easy.”
Right away understanding what he was asking your lips curled into a warm smile, “Oh yeah that’s not a problem, Miguel and I have no problem taking care of this little spiderling.” Cooing a little once again towards the girl you pinched her nose softly, a quick side eye following suit as you’d taken note of how Miguel had turned to stare.
The man surely wanting to object, but choosing to bite his tongue instead.
You were a stubborn one.
“Really? Aw thanks a mil, I’ll be sure to repay you guys when we get back.” Moving to squish his daughter's face into his hands and press a quick kiss to her forehead Peter gave you a look of gratitude, his fatherlike stare coming down to rest back onto his daughter. “Uh ok her bedtime is six o’clock, she doesn’t like broccoli and her favorite show is the bouncing fruits on youtube. If there are any issues don’t hesitate to text me.”
“Yes yes of course, now go enjoy your time with your wife.” Using your free hand you shooed the man away, shaking your head with a soft smile only to roll your eyes at the sound of a huff beside you. Your attention now fully on Miguel waiting to hear what he had to say.
“Miguel and I have no problem? I didn’t agree to babysit.” Repeating what you’d said to Peter he let out a breath, hand raising to run through his hair while his gaze pulled away from the computer screens to focus on where you stood.
The sharpness of them softening a little at the sight of Mayday's bright smile as well as the way you held the girl.
“Come on Miguel, it’ll just be this once.” Shifting Mayday into your hands you held her out towards the man bringing her back so that her face was right beside your own. “And how can you say no to these faces?”
Taking in a breath he observed the way you puffed out your cheeks, lips pursing out a bit all the while Mayday outstretched her arms- trying to grab at him.
“Fine. Lyla, save the progress and close up the computers.”
“Roger that boss.”
Waiting for the screens to close down Miguel let out yet another sigh, hand motioning towards you and Mayday. “Come on.”
Following right away a victorious smile couldn’t help but cross your lips, something the small girl right away took note of by patting your cheek with her little palm.
She was so cute.
---
Having brought Mayday back to yours and Miguel's shared apartment you right away brought out some drawing supplies- or well more like a few highlighters and pens that the small girl seemed entertained enough with.
Standing over the kitchen sink to wash a few of the dishes you’d used to give Mayday a snack, your gaze moved toward Miguel. The man having been leaning against the counter on the opposite side of where you were, head tilted to the side and attention focused on the small redhead.
“Go and sit down with her.”
At the soft call of your voice, his head turned in order to face you, the hardened expression he typically wore cracking the slightest bit. “What?”
“Go sit down with her and draw or play a game, something like that.”
Wanting to object right away at what you were implying the look you’d given him merely drew out a defeated sigh, his arms falling from the counter and with heavy steps, he neared the table planting himself into the seat across from hers.
After a minute or two of sitting with her, you noticed how he spoke to the child; soft and almost playful, a pencil had been clasped between his fingers as the redhead had convinced him to draw her a cat.
It warmed your heart to see Miguel like this, you two had been together for quite some time now but you knew how much he hesitated about being around Peter's daughter- that much was clear from day one. Although despite that hesitance he never seemed to let her fall, let her hurt herself, etcetera.
It was most certainly the paternal instinct he had tried to suppress.
You found it endearing.
Getting pulled out of your thoughts by a gentle tug at your pant leg you turned off the sink, eyes trailing down towards the little girl who called for your attention.
Smiling gently down at her you noted how her hands were smudged with pencil lead, a soft laugh leaving you as you leaned down to pick her up. “Your hands are all dirty.” Musing that out you turned the water back of softly pulling her hands into the stream where you then gently washed her hands.
Coming back from the table himself Miguel watched what you were doing, a soft smile gracing his lips as he held his own hands up. “My hands are dirty, can you wash them too?” He laughed at the comment, some more following as you’d taken Mayday's hand using it to splash some water at him.
Mayday giggled at this, the little girl practically bouncing in place within your hold.
So cute.
---
“You suck at braiding hair.”
An offended gasp left your lips at Miguel's comment, hear tilting over the couch to face where he leaned over the back of it, hand under his chin and a slight quirk to his lips.
“You’re so mean, why don’t you do her hair then? Huh?” Having Mayday currently sitting in front of you, you gestured with the hairbrush toward the girl's unruly red locks. Her childish giggles filled the room quickly upon being raised into the air being handed towards your partner as he rounded the couch.
“Fine, I will,” Taking her from your hands he sat down much like you had, lips still curled into a small smile as he spoke confidently. “Watch and learn Hermosa.”
Rolling your eyes at the comment you took his previous place leaning over the couch, eyes watching the way he occasionally brushed Mayday's hair back parting it into two sections. It seemed almost routinely how he worked so effortlessly with her hair, making sure he kept her small hands busy with a scrunchie.
Two neat French braids curled down the girl's head, some small hair clips you’d found around the apartment dotting her hair as well.
“See? What did I tell you.” Leaning back against the couch Miguel stared up at you, his gaze was warm, lips still curled into a gentle smile upon seeing how you reflected the look.
“Fine fine. You did a good job, Miguel,” Leaning forward a little you have the tip of his nose a quick peck seeing as that was all you could reach. “Maybe I should get you to do my hair one of these days.”
He smiled triumphantly at that, head returning down to the girl sitting before him, hands coming to lift her off the ground and into the air almost playfully.
Watching from your spot between the kitchen and living room you laughed softly, eyes shining with pure adoration as this was a side of Miguel many- even yourself sometimes- didn’t get the opportunity to see.
A tingle in the back of your mind had you gradually moving towards the front door, hand reaching for the handle to swing it open just enough to stop Peter’s hand from knocking.
Holding up a finger for him to remain quiet you brought him into the apartment, the two left in the living room still goofing off until Mayday’s gaze fell upon her dad. The girl squawking out in excitement as Miguel set her down onto the floor.
“There’s my girl! Did you have fun! Looks like you did, looks like you did! Aw look at your hair too.” Right away beginning to coo at her Peter swiped her off the ground, kissing were peppered across her face in an instant before his attention returned towards the two of you. “Thank you guys so much for watching her, I really owe you one.”
Having moved to stand beside Miguel you smiled happily at Peter, “It was no problem, she was such a delight and if you ever need someone to watch her again I’m sure we have no problem.” Your hand moved to take Miguels, the man responding with a gentle hum and nod.
Sparing Mayday a final wave you watched the pair leave, your hand faintly tugging away from Miguels before he’d just come to wrap you in a hug; arms bunding around your waist while his chin came to rest on your shoulder.
“Gonna miss the little spider-girl?” Questioning him softly you tilted your head to rest it light on his, hand coming up to comb your fingers through his hair.
With a low hum he seemed to nuzzle into you a little, eyes glancing to the side at your expression. “Maybe,” He began swaying a little, fingers rubbing circles into the shirt you wore, “But this got me thinking.”
“Ok, thinking about what?”
“Well,” Pulling away a little to properly look down at you he seemed to think over what he was going to say, mind going a mile a minute. “What if, we maybe…” His eyes moved towards the door where Peter and Mayday had left through, the rest of his question being implied.
Staring up at him your lips curved into a smile once again, hopping up onto your tiptoes to peck him on the lips quickly.
“We can try.”
-------
<Unedited>
Miguels a DILF- you can't change my mind.
#miguel ohara#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o'hara#× reader#miguel o'hara x y/n#miguel o 'hara#across the spider verse spoilers#across the#spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#smatsv#atsvx reader#spiderman × reader#spiderman 2099 spiderverse#spiderman#spider man#spiderman into the spiderverse#spider man x you#spider man x y/n#2099#beyond the spiderverse#atsv miguel#spiderverse imagine#miguel spiderman#miguel#spiderman 2099#atsv imagines#sony spiderverse#spiderverse spoilers#peter b parker
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(TuT) ok so i got a few but my most thought about are these silly characters who are based on the arthurian legends but mixed with final fantasy and their trying to fight the queen because she doesn't like magic (even though her children are half elf and therefore have plenty of magic) im still struggling to find designs i fully like but this is like the current designs. (Idk if you wanted me to pm u about my ocs or ask??)
Tell me about your ocs too!!!
LESGOOOO okay I do know some things about Arthurian legend but I know fuckall about final fantasy so you're gonna have to bare with me. I love this art, first of all! I'm presuming you drew it but either way massive kudos to the artist, I'm really liking these designs :D (also the style in general but that's more subjective :P)
Headcanons,,, hmm,,, ok I'm gonna go from left to right (and I'm also gonna refer to these charas as their hair colours bc I don't know their names, lo siento xD) (also I am kinda presuming genders based on appearance here so sorry if I get any pronouns wrong xS)
Pink:
There are chains on most of these characters' outfits but the majority are on hers so I like the idea that maybe she made, or at least fashioned, them and then gave them out to the rest of the group?
(by that logic there must be some reason that brunette doesn't have a chain... hmm... maybe pink doesn't like him, or maybe the chains represent some specific thing that brunette isn't/hasn't done)
She's self-conscious about the mole on her cheek :( (if I'm presuming correctly and pink is one of the queen's half-elf children, her self-consciousness could be compounded by the fact that this mole is also an identifying feature that people could use to find her)
I like the idea that Pink is one of those people who just doesn't feel the cold. Not sure why. Maybe it's the fit :P
Ginger:
I know her ears are probably hidden bc of her hairstyle but low-key when I noticed that detail I thought it might be that she's hiding her ears for plot reasons. Is she pretending to be a half-elf and have magic when she actually doesn't? Is she ACTUALLY a half-elf and hiding that fact bc of the queen's grudge against magic? Who knows? Not me! :P
She's actually ambidexterous and only wears arm guards on one arm to throw off anyone she's swordfighting with
The only thing sharper than Ginger's blade is her tongue; her insults are lethal and she is very liberal with their usage
Funny idea: this character has a very low pain tolerance. Like, in the heat of battle she can obviously power through life-threatening injuries, same as any self-respecting protagonist can - but outside of adrenaline-fuelled action? Hoo boy. If this woman stubs her toe on a rock, you're gonna be hearing about it for hours
Blond:
I get the sense that blond has 100% tried to use magic to cook a chicken at least once (and that it hasn't gone well)
Maybe the shared colours are just convenience for the sake of faster colouring but I like to think that blond got ginger a corset the same shade of red as his shirt and boots because he wanted them to match :)
He's actually very good at dexterous skills relating to string and ropes - braiding, embroidery, knotwork, and so on (this inspired by the little braid in his hair (ignore the fact that I've ignored the fact that pink's hair ALSO has a braid in it))
Blond strikes me as the team confidante. I like to think that if anyone has problems, or needs someone they can trust with sensitive information, they know they can go to him :D
Brunette:
I think brunette's cloak is cool as hell so I like to think that HE thinks it's cool as hell too. Like, he wears it all the time, and everyone else is just like 'ugh it's brunette being edgy and mysterious again' but his interior monologue is something more along the lines of 'man... I look so good in this cloak... I've got that shit ON'
He'd actually really like to grow a proper beard, but he just can't for whatever reason so all he's got is stubble 😔
Something about him tells me that he enjoys tripping people up with that staff he's carrying
He can sleep standing up (and it freaks the hell out of anyone when they see it lmao)
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And,,, that's it off the top of my head! (In a manner of speaking. This was not ALL off the top of my head xDD) I hope you crack that character design conundrum you're wrestling with! Thank you sm for sharing your charas, this was honestly fun as hell :D (Either PMing or ask'ing would've been fine with me :3) Keep loving them and making content for them and you will find your audience, I promise! <33
ALSO 'tell me about your ocs too!!!' OKAY YOUR ENTHUSIASIM HAS TWISTED MY ARM but this post is already pretty long so I'll put it under a cut :)
Broski I have WAY too many OCs to fit into one post that isn't as long as my bionicle lore summary so I'm gonna pick out 3!
First we have DANTE
I love this guy. He started off as a self-insert back when I first started writing (12-ish years ago?) and now he's his own fully developed character. I'm so proud of him T_T
Anyways! My guy got evil superpowers from a magic rock - long story, sorry - and decided he was going to become a superhero anyway. He's a paragon and a charismatic protagonist and he tries his best, but he's also a stubborn, chaotic man with no off switch. Maybe not the best person to hold the fate of the world in his hands, but oh well, it's too late now! :P
(aah, I love putting characters in situations)
Next up we have: RAELYN
Remember that magic rock? Yeah, turns out that rock has a consciousness. That's Raelyn. She doesn't like Dante, and especially doesn't like the fact that she's now stuck in his brain - but she likes the main villain of this story even LESS, so she's sticking with him for now. She's an unrepentent fucker and I really enjoy writing her >:3
And finally, we have IVY
Ivy is a cyborg that spends, like, a year fused into a suit of armour (another, slightly grim long story) before the good guys rescue her. The good thing about the longform story I'm telling is that we get plenty of time to watch her blossom from a haunted, emaciated cyborg into someone who's happy and healthy :)
(not pictured: me, valiantly resisiting the urge to call my own OC an absolute smokeshow)
Aaaaand there we go! Hope that fulfilled your curiosity about my own OCs - thank you so much for asking! <3 Have a good one, you absolute champion! :D
#ofc I am willing to offer more OC content if people ask but this post is about BOOGURINE'S characters and not mine#so I am holding back the yaps and making sure I don't steal too much of the spotlight :P#not a pic#someone asked me a thing!#boogurine#IK I said it in the main post but MAN. this was so fun. hope I can spread some creative + OC love with this one
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