#and who also have a full house and not an apartment
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friends or forever
✿ you and anton flirted all the time, everyone knows it’s just jokes and teasing, but what if one of you aren’t joking anymore? or, are you both?
taglist is open
a/n. MAYBE little angsty… i’m never sure about me writing other genres than fluff 😭
masterlist ✿ prev ✿ next
more under the cut!
you grabbed the bag of miscellaneous stuff anton left in your brothers room. “i’m leaving!” you called out to your brother.
the walk to anton’s place was a mere 10 minutes, so you decided to walk there. once you reached, you had to climb up the stairs to the 7th floor.
you knocked on anton’s door, once; no answer, twice; no answer, but a muffled noise erupted from inside, third; the noise of feet scurrying towards the door filled the whole apartment.
what you didn’t expect was that a girl would be answering the door.
“hello?” the girl said, though it seemed more like a question. it was much past the afternoon, it was way more into the night. “sorry, i’m looking for anton.” you played off any discomfort you got from seeing a girl in your anton’s house. you never felt protective over anton, especially knowing he wasn’t yours, but why did your chest tighten at the sight of a woman in his house? “oh of course, let me get him.” and the girl disappeared, looking for anton.
“y/n? i thought you were coming over tomorrow.” antons hair was messed up, his cheeks were pink, and he seemed out of the loop. how he usually looked after you two cuddled. “eunseok wanted me to drop this off, it’s stuff you left.” you handed him the bag and quickly went back to standing awkwardly in front of his door, but instead of the door, in front of him.
you were about to leave until you turned around, “also,” anton poked his head out of his door. “we don’t have to go out if you wanna stay with your girlfriend. it’s no problem, anton.” you flashed a small smile before fleeing.
your eyes were full of sadness, one blink and your cheeks would be streaming with tears. anton had a girlfriend who wasn’t you, and you couldn’t help but feel hopeless. the only person who truly loved you, found someone who displaced you. someone who was better. better than you.
taglist: @yoursyuno @enhacolor @gacktsa @parkwonbinie @ioveritual @delinalovesenha @intakstars @ant-onie @molensworld @wonychu @nctsshoes2 @pxnklover @kcharlyy @dodot04lover @gyvnexe
#kpop#kpop au#fanfic#kpop smau#smau#kpop boys#kpop bg#kpop icons#kpop layouts#kpop moodboard#kpop smut#kpop girls#kpop gg#kpopidol#kpop aesthetic#riize smau#riize smut#riize fluff#riize sungchan#riize wonbin#riize scenarios#riize imagines#riize x reader#riize anton#riize#riize seunghan#riize sohee#anton lee#anton#anton x reader
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3.37 Soulmates
Today I’m spending some time with Pops. While I was camping, he found out that the LGBT center where he’s been working forever will be closing in just a couple weeks and he’ll be out of a job. It wasn’t unexpected–they’ve been having funding issues for a while–but it still sucks. Unfortunately, Dad is in San My for a gig this weekend, so I figure Pops could use some company.
“I’m really sorry about your job,” I tell him as he finishes washing the dishes. “Are you guys gonna be okay?”
“We have a good amount in savings, and I’ve already been in contact with someone at the LGBT center in Del Sol. They’ve all but offered me a position there that pays more and has more flexibility.”
“Wow, that’s great! So I guess you won’t have much of a reason to stay in Evergreen Harbor, then.”
“Not really. We could probably find a smaller place closer to the LGBT center.”
I know what that means. There’s no reason my parents should have to pay for another 3 bedroom house when their kids are grown. “I guess it’s time for me to find a place, too.”
“I’m sorry to spring it on you like this, but I think you’re ready for it.”
“Yeah, I am. I really appreciate you guys taking me in for as long as you did.”
“You’ve come a long way, Johnny. You’ll be just fine.”
“What about you? You’ll be all alone when Dad is traveling.”
“That’s the good thing about this job. I’ll be able to work remotely some, so I can travel with Dad sometimes.”
“Oh, that’s good then. I know it’s not easy for you two to be away from each other.” I pause. There’s something that’s been on my mind since I came back from my camping trip, and Pops seems like the perfect person to help me figure it out. “Do you think you and Dad are soulmates?”
“Soulmates? Hmm.” He stops for a moment to consider. “No, I don’t think we are,” he finishes.
“Really? Why not?” I'm taken aback by his answer. What does he mean, they're not soulmates?
“Well, you remember how Dad and I met, right?”
“Yeah, you saw each other at a protest and sparks flew or something cheesy like that.”
“Mm-hmm. But I don’t think I’ve ever told you the full story of what happened that night. Before I ended up at the protest, I was at your mom’s apartment–she told me she needed to talk to me about something. Instead, I told her I was gay and couldn’t be in a relationship with her anymore, and I left–without finding out that she was pregnant.”
“Oh. She was going to tell you that night?”
“Yes, until she decided that I wasn’t the kind of man that should raise children. If things had been different–if she had told me she was pregnant before I came out to her–I would have stayed.”
“You would’ve kept pretending to be straight?” I can't imagine what his life would have been like but it sounds pretty terrible. And to think he would have chosen that because of me and Chantal?
“For a while at least. And who knows, maybe eventually I would have found someone else to love and I’d still be happy. But I wouldn’t have met your dad that night.”
“Ok, but that didn’t happen. What does that have to do with being soulmates?”
“Because, Johnny, if I’d stayed with her a little longer then the things that happened to you and Chantal at your mom’s house wouldn’t have happened. I would have been there to keep you safe and well cared for. I just can’t believe that your Dad and I were meant to be together when the circumstances that led to us meeting were also the circumstances that led to my children being hurt and neglected.”
“Well, maybe it’s fate and you would’ve met a different way.” I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what Pops is saying. A world where he and Dad aren't together just doesn't make sense.
“Maybe. But I don’t think any of these hypotheticals really matter. Like you said, that’s not what happened. What matters is that today, in the here and now, I can’t imagine my life without him. Any reason in particular why you’re thinking about soulmates?” He raises his eyebrows knowingly.
“I guess it’s more that I’m wondering how you know if someone is the right person for you, but it kind of sounds like it’s not that simple.”
“Well, a sign isn’t going to drop down from the heavens that says ‘This person is the one,’ but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Find the person you can’t imagine your life without. I don’t know if that’s what you were wanting to hear, but I hope it answers your question.”
Find the person you can’t live without. Maybe there aren’t signs falling from the sky, but those words are about as close as I’ll get. “It does," I tell him. "It may not be the answer I was expecting, but I think it cleared something up for me.”
“I see. Do you want to talk about it?"
Normally I would jump at the chance to get some input, but now I don't feel like I need it. I shake my head. “No, I think I can handle it from here.” The thought makes me nervous, but I can’t avoid this. I need to talk to Lacey.
Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next
#hmm what do you think he's going to tell her?#ts4#sims 4#ts4 story#simblr#sims story#sims storytelling#simlit#sims community#show us your story#stksafeharbor#safeharborstory#sh:chapter3#sh:johnny#sh:solomon
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if you've never read the Silmarilion, you are depriving yourself of a major old school reality tv vibes in the vain of Big Brother. Tolkien really was the G, because if you think that the Greek gods have something on Tolkien's Valar, i'm here to tell you they're not even playing in the same league. not even in the same universe.
oh? you think Zeus is detached? Poseidon is kind of a dick and Hades just could not give less of a fuck about his dysfunctional family?
what if i told you that once upon a time there was a guy who was a big asshole and who rallied his entire race to go to war cause one other guy who was also even somehow bigger of an asshole (let's call him huge asshole) stole his shiny rocks? and the Valar did a total of fuck all to stop him from leading an entire race of people they essentially helped create and lived with in harmony to slaughter.
remember that huge asshole who stole the big's asshole shiny rocks? well he also happened to terrorize an entire continent with countless lives for centuries, meanwhile the Valar largely stay out of the conflict even though the huge asshole was technically their family and therefore their problem. Despite the pleas of the people, they remained indifferent, chillin' in the west five feet apart cause they're not gay, watching an absolute carnage unfold for several long centuries. It took several more hundreds of years and devastating battles before one guy with a backbone finally said 'had enough of this shit' and sailed to their West California/Malibu hangout to tell 'em they should get their fucking asses up and work.
so the Valar eventually are like 'jesus, okay' and stop the huge asshole but if you think that they were going to send sanitation or stimulus checks to the people who were left behind and broken by the war they did not care about to stop earlier even though they were the only ones who could, you have another thing coming cause they peace out and everyone else who cannot afford to go to their West California/Malibu hangout because they are not privileged enough or don't have the right background to go there and heal can fuck off and die.
then you might think, well, the huge asshole was defeated so now at least there should be peace and quiet for a while in the house, no? fucking no because it turned out the huge asshole polled really well in the demographic of young men and one of those young men decided to take up the huge asshole's mantle and make middle-earth great again or some shit. except his own crowd runs him out of town cause he is one of those people who think they can swing but they're actually just meow meows with anger issues and a staggering lack of self-awareness who really need to get laid. (on that later)
so the young man decides to go on vacation to an island that was basically created by the Valar as the paradise for those who helped defeat the huge asshole and he realizes he really likes this island full of assholes cause that's kind of the crowd he vibes with. and slowly but surely he comes to the conclusion that not only is the island full of assholes, it's full of the dumbest motherfuckers he has ever met in his life. he gets them to build worships and temples and statues to celebrate the huge asshole guy who died on the basis of their general huge asshole-ness they have in common with him. still, the Valar do nothing as the young man corrupts this island full of dumbasses and enslaves them to his will. they only intervene when the young man rallies them to band together and attack the West California/Malibu hangout. Which ends in complete destruction of the paradise island and a complete shift of the map of the world and the trajectory of its free peoples.
and this whole tangent is basically me reminding myself that yes, Hope, you can write an outlandish new chapter where absolute crazy batshit things happen to people who do not deserve it and have the Valar ignore it completely, because that is what they do.
they are trolling. they don't intervene when entire populations are destroyed, but when they randomly see the young man and an elf vibing on a shitty raft, Poseidon's Valar equivalent Ulmo gathers the clouds and tells his little helper Ossë who is responsible for storms and waves:
.... you know what would be really fucking hilarious ....
#it's the main reason i appreciate the shitty raft storm scene even though it did not happen in the silmarilion#cause what the fuck lol#why would you struck down that poor she-elf and try to drown a guy who is trying to do better or at least is on his way to try and do bette#but when there is a guy who is actively doing evil you pretend you've never head of said guy#like when bridget jones' drunk friends appear on her doorstep when she's trying to get laid#never met them#the rings of power#haladriel#saurondriel#one ship to doom them all#the silmarilion
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SO
Saw BTTF the musical two times in as many days (originally was supposed to see just today’s matinee, but I arrived early enough yesterday to be like “This is my last chance, why not see it twice?” and saw last night’s show, as well. Behold, the highlights—
I saw Roger with Casey last night and Roger with JJ Niemann today; Casey and JJ are both amazing Martys
Roger has a new bit as Doc; after saying he remembers vividly what happened on November 5th, he just spaces out momentarily trying to recall until he is successful. Took me by surprise and I was cackling, but thankfully I was far from the only one 😆
I thought I was prepared for the Main(e) house bit. Casey threw in a random nonsequiter into it: “My grandmother is a psychiatrist.” It was SO out of left field that Roger broke, which prompted a “Why are you laughing, Doc?? This is serious!!” We are all laughing at this point.
Roger got his revenge in the next scene, throwing out a random “Your great-grandmother taught me yoga.” The randomness of it coupled with the lore implications made me let out the most ungodly shriek of laughter; I was in row three—there was no way they missed that, and if either of them end up seeing this, I am so sorry 😅
In both shows, there was a lesbian couple at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. Would they have been realistically out in 1955? Probably not. Was it still awesome? ABSOLUTELY. Also kudos for having Strickland, of all people, not even batting an eyelash and instead continuing to police the heterosexual couples.
JJ had his own banter going with Roger, which was also great—there was an extended “Wait, what?”/“Weight?? What??” routine that was just as priceless.
I was also cackling at Roger basically chasing JJ around the DeLorean when he had the plutonium in one hand, waving him away with the other. 100% in character for both of them.
Added angst, which I am also always here for: just after Doc tears and trashes Marty’s warning note and just before the cable snaps, when JJ did the “I’ll tell you straight out!” line, Marty grabs Doc by the shoulders, and Doc responds by just shoving him away in frustration. Like this has to be the first time Doc, his mentor and best friend, who has been nothing but supportive and encouraging up until now, has ever done anything like that—and Marty doesn’t even get the time to process that, as the cable then snaps and they have to split up. But that moment is now Canon to me, and I absolutely have to pick it apart in a future fic.
There was an auction after the show for two puffy red vests signed by the whole cast with the proceeds going to Broadway Cares Equity Fights AIDS—the winning bid was $1500 for each one, far more than I could’ve afforded, so kudos to them, at any rate.
…I did, however, make a smaller donation to get a full-cast signed Playbill, which I shall treasure always.
As I guessed, as sad as I am about the show leaving Broadway, I know I will carry the inspiration it gave me forever 💜
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i got a puppy and she's obviously adorable but oh my god i'm exhausted
#deeply jealous of all these dog training youtubers#who don't have to leave the house for their jobs#and who also have a full house and not an apartment#like god#yeah i guess i too would have an easier time#if i could stay at the house for a week with my puppy#doing nothing but learning how to train her#unfortunately i have a job that requires me to leave the apartment#and no i can't just take off a week to be with her#unless i wanna use all my vacation time#which i don't cuz i was saving it for christmas#so i could visit my family back in mt#you know for more than like a day and a half#uuuggghhhhh#i know i should've tried for an older dog#but between what my apartment allows and my personal tastes#the options were limited#and the only adult dogs that remotely fit#either had serious health problems i wasn't sure i could deal with#or were REALLY far away#i mean i drove to vancouver to get my pup#and it took like half an hour#and that was still stressful for me
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With the release of From The Rehearsal Room - Tokyo to Ramin's youtube I finally, finally, continue and finish this side project I'm doing.
Initially, I used AI to mastered it because the first version I got from bilibili were not in good quality but I wasn't satisfied and I found the much better quality. But with Ramin uploaded it to youtube, I re did all the mastering just with audacity for both Part 1 and Part 2. The Part 2 is still from the better version I found from bilibili, by the way.
What you need to do is just download the file and put it on your music player. The metadata is all completed as if it's whole legit album. Enjoy, guys!!
And I'm being weird so all the lyrics that are put there are from my listening although I still use what I found online but I still listened and compared. They made few ad-libs and changes and I notice because for the songs that I wasn't familiar, the lyric that I found online and what they sang was slightly different. Perhaps they sing the newer version of the lyrics or mistakes? Even each Sheytoons songs they sing one in both parts differ from the ones I found online.
Another sample from my favorite:
Source and Credits Part 1 | Part 2 (Ramin's upload) Album cover Photos
Vocal & Guitar: Ramin Karimloo, Hadley Fraser Piano: Ryohei Mori
#from the rehearsal room#ramin karimloo#hadley fraser#more to come probably idk we'll see#i should've also continue that eight letters project *sigh#sheytoons#edit: the lyrics hehe#add: tbh after i read steal our moments lyric so many times i even transcripted this mostly myself#bcs this is the only one among all the songs in this session that doesn't have the lyric online because they sang this so rare like soo rar#why am i starting to feel this song is about sierra lol sorry but my inner shipping heart can't resist#i even consult chatgpt (i know why idk but just asking really)#aren't all sheytoons songs written when ramin was in LND? written exactly in his dressing room in adelphi theatre???#and tbh most of sheytoons song are mostly about observing women but who idk it could be different#one of them could be about mandy and the other could be about rosalie because i know at that time she and hadley were dating already right?#or it could be some random lady#steal our moments: perhaps it's about a fleeting or secret relationship#the first verse is that the girl is full of life (house full could mean fulfilling life) but she is lonely and sierra lived alone in london#the singer and her share dreams and memories and then she plays her game of make believe could indicate that both of them are actors#every night and every day this is what we do: that's their work. they're on stage together every day every night. and ofc spending time tgt#and then the reff is about the singer doesn't want keep living like this bcs it makes him guilty maybe? he's tearing his soul apart#the singer can't stop thinking about her so he prays that things work on in the correct way even though they can't do anything about it now#so yea :D#fish noodle couple
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There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
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I met 5 out of the 6 students on my Kindergarten self contained autistic support class and I gotta say I think I legitimately have been blessed with the best, sweetest, and MOSE ENTHUSIASTIC class ever!
#unusual thing to say on tumblr ik but im actually so unbelievably excited#only behavior I witnessed is a kid taking my letter cards out of a pocket chart to say the sounds which is freaking ideal lol#I may be overly optimistic but I may be able to push all of them into their typical Kindergarten classrooms full time by January#and nobody is giving red flags for any aggression? OR property destruction?#I got beat up and had my room torn apart nearly every day last year this may actually be too good to be true#AND they all have nice responsive fun knowledgeable and supportive families?!?!?!#three of them have a behavior tech to support them through their parents health insurance?!?!#and I only have Kinder so I don’t have to work around multiple grade level schedules and multiple curriculums#I had to plan completely different lessons for my Kindergartners and first graders for both reading and math last year#so I literally only have to do half of the planning I did last year#and I have two brilliant paraprofessionals who I know and like and who also like me#this is actually a dream come true#we’re going to make so much progress while having more fun than anyone else in the entire school#the kids were already getting along so well at the open house#this is my 5th year teaching and the first time I actually feel ready and excited for the first day
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#horrible awful no good very bad day#apparently last night the apartment below ours caught fire and we were out of town#and we didnt find out til several hours later from our neighbor who had to track me down on facebook- we didnt hear a thing#from the apartment in any official capacity until like? 10 hours after the fire?#anyway we rushed home supremely early from a friend trip that was like#meant to be very good and fun#anyway so we rush home because no one can tell us if our cats are okay#and they were but our whole apartment is supremely smoky and all of our possessions are extremely smoky#and we cant stay there or let the cats stay there because of the smoke and soot and particles it just doesnt feel safe#so now im in my partners familys house which is like#fine but its full of people and i dont feel fully comfortable and i cant fully relax and and and and and etc etc etc etc#and tomorrow i have to wake up early and go over there and find out what if anything the complex plans to do about it and how long its gonna#be until we can come back safely. or more likely get more noncommittal answers and be unsure#and i dont know how long i can stay here and be normal#AND to top it all off i paid like 60$ to go to an aquarium i didnt even get to go to . but yknow. all of my friends got to !#and like im happy for them but no one was excited as i was and now i get to ruminate on how everyone got to do the fun thing i love#while i was stuck doing 17 loads of laundry and bathing the soot out of my cats fur in someone elses house#certainly it could be worse and im glad my cats are fine and im glad its just smoke damage and not yknow. Burn damage#but im having a sad little pity party anyway because i was supposed to have an amazing beautiful day ending in a relaxing evening#in my own home#and now i have to cope with all of this instead. all i want to do is cry#and also like. im scared we will have to move#but im also scared we wont... because like#i think it was a gas issue. and knowing that that happened in my building? and also knowing how much landlords love to halfass#repairs and everything else#i just dont know how safe i will feel there#even if they tell me its fine#anyway sorry for the tag vent post again my old ways will never die#ghost posts
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@snowshinobi Hiiiii :3 I'm responding to your tags on a new post and not the original since the original was already somewhat lengthy, and I plan on being LONG and RAMBLY, but I have sooo many thoughts on what you said and I'm going to say them. Also my browser crashed TWICE (TWO TIMES. 2) when trying to write this post so I'm really fighting for my life out here to get my silly little OC posts done. Also it's under the cut because it's looooong as hell LMAO
Firstly, you're so nice to me forever <3 Secondly, I think you've basically hit the nail on the head. The majority of the issues Maggie has coming back from death and her 9 years gone are really tied almost exclusively to her close family, because she... never really had anyone else. While in-universe it's only 9 years, realistically the jump in technology and culture is around ~20-30 years (Maggie died in the 90s/early 2000s essentially, and wakes up in a just barely futuristic city), but... the most jarring thing to her in terms of what she missed out on is just. Flipphones are no longer popular. Other than her family, she's only close with one other person... who just so happens to be a ghost, and therefore both 1. Wouldn't change much over the timespan due to how long she's been a ghost and 2. Unlike her family, was aware that something happened, since she could see the ghost-of-a-ghost Maggie left behind (The ghosts name is Opal, she positions herself as a sort of "guardian angel" figure, though she's not actually, and serves as just another parental figure for Maggie while also getting after the ghosts that constantly harass her to pass on messages to the living). Maggie has no real relationships outside of her family, and while her relationships with her family are massively impacted by her unknowing death, other than that... the timeskip itself doesn't weigh on her because she had no one regardless. Her struggle to adjust to everything thats happened would've happened regardless of the timeskip for her, because she was such an isolated shut-in that it's the same whether it happened the next day, or nearly a full decade later
So another very interesting thing is that you've actually completely seen where I was going with everything, in spite of everything I said being very surface level and not actually delving into the plot at all. I completely skimmed over Jenna (She's very important to the plot, but she's by in large a regular person as opposed to Maggie's... everything), but for some additional context, Jenna has a horrendously shitty homelife, so her moving in with Maggie is both a gradual process (It goes from spending time there, to spending nights, to eventually just never going back home and moving in fully), and also serves as an escape for her. Part of that is also, so vitally, the food aspect. For some additional additional context, souls essentially serve as a persons lifeforce, practically every bodily function is improved by a soul that's stronger, though the "strength" of a soul is essentially entirely random, and not dependent on the individuals actions of any kind. Maggie had a generally weird soul before (Seeing ghosts inherently means she has to have something going on with her soul), but when she wakes up after her death, her soul is now even weirder, and part of that is that it essentially lets her get away with bad habits she absolutely should be seeing more consequences for. She barely eats, and when she does, it's basically exclusively crackers and whatever other safe foods she has around the house, because actually making food is a level of care and effort she just... doesn't give to herself in the slightest. Part of Jenna staying with her is that Jenna, without really discussing it, entirely takes up the mantle of caretaker of the apartment, with the biggest task being food prep, Jenna sees Maggie's unwillingness to take care of herself and silently steps up and starts making her actual meals so she's eating properly.
The problem is is that this also kinda... just straight up sucks? Jenna doesn't think much of it, it's something that needed to be done so she's doing it, she wants Maggie to be well fed even if she won't do it herself, and she's already been responsible for making all of her own meals for years prior anyways, so it's just another thing she does. Except that's shitty! Maggie's seen firsthand how terrible her homelife is, and it really weighs on her how even in her escape from that, Jenna's still being put in a position where she feels like she must care for her or else she just won't eat properly. So food is such a massively important thing to both of them, it's this symbol of love for both of them, it's love on the part of Jenna, for stepping in and taking care of Maggie when she can't do it herself, and it's love on the part of Maggie, for realizing how her own bad habits impact the people she cares about and wanting to lift that weight by taking care of herself better. It's also very vital for Maggie because she just... doesn't... have hobbies. Learning how to cook becomes really her only hobby and she puts all of her love and care into it, because for the first time in a long while she's actually passionate about something! ...Unfortunately she also is very very bad at it. She's inventing new dishes like "Burnt Salad" and "Please Help I Fucked Up Kraft Mac N Cheese" and still having to have Jenna come in and help her. But it's the thought that counts, and it'll only be a matter of time before she can make something vaguely edible.
And finally, the stuff about names! I didn't post it here, but while idly talking about her in a Discord server I'm in, I definitely think that had I made Maggie like even a few months later than I would've done she would've been nonbinary. As it stands right now though, I'm saying she's probably some form of genderweird but too busy trying not to die to think about it <3 Growing up knowing that ghosts are real and routinely being shut down by authority figures in her life about it has made her very aware of how bullshit a lot of things are and how the people who claim to be knowledgeable tend to not know what they're talking about (Beyond just the "people don't think ghosts are real", she's also got ghosts willing to tell her when people are lying because they've got nothing better to do than just gossip) , so if she spent even just a moment thinking about gender as a social construct she'd instantly recognize that and probably take up some form of genderweird label, but as it stands she's just too stressed with Being The Protagonist to think about that
Now, the thing with Margaret. I'm not even going to lie to you, I think you made a better connection to how a name connects with community in terms of the narrative themes than I did. The thing with Margaret denying the name "Maggie" existed for two reasons, the in-universe explanation is that, with the little scrap of soul Margaret has leftover from Maggie, it's essentially working overtime just to keep her vitals working, it can't dedicate time and energy to making her an individual with preferences and a personality, so part of that is that she doesn't respond to "Maggie" because ultimately, that is not her name. Her name is Margaret and she's not going to respond to "Maggie" because "Maggie" isn't her name. Of course, out of universe the reasoning is that I wanted an easy way to distinguish between Maggie as she is the protagonist, and the version of her that lived in the years she was gone, so different names makes the most sense.
I think your connection to how name relates to community genuinely works on a level I hadn't fully pieced together myself yet and I really love that because I think that absolutely works with everything. One of the main conflicts of the plot is how Maggie is entirely disconnected from her family thanks to the years she was gone, with Margaret having no priorities beyond "survive", she basically never spoke with her parents or brother for years. While her family tried to reach out to her repeatedly (Especially given that, while they're unaware the truth of what happened the night Maggie was murdered, they do know something happened, and they believe that whatever it was severely traumatized her, and that's where the sudden and drastic shift in personality came from), there's a point where they just... gave up. She wasn't trying to talk with them or contact them in the slightest, so around a year or two after Margaret moved out, her parents gave up on her. Her brother would still be there a bit, but he also didn't really... try... anymore.
When Maggie wakes up, she tries to call her parents... and they don't pick up. They'd grown resentful over the years, and now that Maggie wants to talk to them, they don't forgive her for the years of not speaking to them, and aren't interested in whatever she has to say after nearly a decade of trying to reconnect with her and being met with nothing. It's her insistence that she wants to be called Maggie that actually gets her brother to realize she's telling the truth and that something happened. She shows up at his door, already something that Margaret wouldn't have done, and that combined with her being visibly upset when he calls her Margaret and tells him that's not her and that she's Maggie, it signals to him that whatever's going on is real (...though he would've figured this out eventually, given that she also literally 17 again and not in her mid-20s, and has a giant glowing stab wound in her chest). I think it works absolutely perfectly as being a symbol of community, her disconnect from her community is what led to her being called Margaret, and her desperation to be returned to that community is when she's Maggie again. So uh. Congrats on getting the themes of my OCs better than I did <3
And uhhhh closing thoughts! I honestly did still skim over the majority of the plot (Literally never even mentioned Eli or what's going on with her stab wound </3), but I think you reeeeally hit the nail on the head with everything I'm kinda getting at with these OCs, which is... frankly wild given how little main plot I actually got at. Basically everything I mentioned in my original post was the setup, not the main plot. But waaaaugh thank you for being so niceys to me and also giving me another excuse to ramble endlessly <3
#my OCs#uhhh MAGGIE FUN FACTS:#Animals can tell when a soul is weird so she has a colony of stray cats that hang around her apartment door#she doesnt even LIKE animals that much (She barely takes care of HERSELF shes not taking care of any animals.)#but they all like her weirdass soul and keep hanging around because of it#When the plot ends she gives one of the stray cats to her parents as a 'sorry i died' gift#The cats name is Marge- named by Jenna and also specifically its 'Marge' said in a Simpsons impression. any Simpson#It's Jennas FAVORITE cat out of the strays bc she says she looks like Maggie. also Marge is a male cat#Neither Jenna nor Maggie know how to tell the difference between a male and female cat reliably so they assume Marge is female- hes not#Also Eli's the closest to the 'main antagonist' the story gets. hes an old coworker of Margarets and basically her only friend#and Maggie's too scared with her whole 'is actively dying' thing and doesnt know how to tell him 'hey im not your friend- she died'#ELI thinks that Margaret is essentially have some sort of extreme mental breakdown and is trying to get her help bc he cares about her-#-unaware that Maggie is essentially a different person and doesnt know him#anyways uhhhh Maggie attempts to beat him to death with her laptop once. sorry Eli. luckily shes 17 and scrawny as fuck-#-so he's able to throw her off of him but its still. BAD#Maggie's got INSANE insomnia for a large variety of reasons- and falls asleep on the floor one night while on her laptop#Eli- having gotten off work late and going to check on Margaret- who hasnt shown up to work in weeks and isnt answering her phone#-spots Maggie passed out on the floor and assumes shes having some sort of medical emergency#Margaret had left her spare keys at work which he'd grabbed- so he lets himself in to get her to a hospital#Only for Maggie to wake up. With a strange man in her apartment in the middle of the night. Wuh Oh !#THIS time however- when she's home alone (shes not alone Jenna's asleep in the other room) and she spots a stranger in her house-#-she ends up with a fight reaction and NOT freeze <3#also her full name is Margaret Elisabeth Newell and her brothers name is Hawke#one of the very few times i will give my OC a full name- and entirely bc my friend suggested her last name LMAO#also she believes in bigfoot. GHOSTS are real and theyre WAY less believable than 'big ape' so she fully believes it#Opal keeps trying to tell her no that ones ACTUALLY not real and shes like uh huh. sure. ill believe it when i see it
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i kind of dislike that its like. focused on your sim being a landlord it seems (from surface level looking into it) But whatever
#iiii am going to use it so i can have a huge family living on the same lot without having to use mods to increase household size#bc it gets overwhelming having to control like 50 sims LMAO. this is awwwsome bc i legit just this morning got inspired to start a new#legacy save ik i always say that and then i barely even make it to 3 generations but listen. this ones going to be different bc i remembere#ghosts and i have a rly cool mod so that only certain sims (kids animals and some other sims) can see ghosts#so i think itd be swagalicious to have a ton of ghosts . idk why i said swagalicious sorry. butttt itd be so cool to have this huge old#house and split it into smaller apartments so i can have a big family living there :] and have little likee detached apartments..#im just kinda bummed that itll treat the extended family members as like. tenants. rather than family members#BUT this is exciting. i feel like i cn make something rly similar to my great grans house#where like. you had the main house my great grans house and then you have my uncle ronnies trailer in the front yard and then#my aunt brits/shaes (idr whos it actually was skull) trailer out back...#and this could also be like my grannys house Ill never be able to actually make my grannys house in ts4 its got like. a kind of weird layou#its not weird TO ME bc its normal. but its built into a hill so ts4 doesnt like it#same thing with my grans house. both of them r built into a hill so its just not doablee 😭 unless they completely change the way they do#terrain + floor levels. bc the way my grannys house is like#the front door is ground level and then theres a little landing bit#and then you have a staircase upstairs and a staircase downstairs#and downstairs is Technically a basement but bc of the hill like. the back wall of the downstairs has a little patio. even tho the front is#likee. its not completely underground theres likee maybe 2ish feet above ground level and there s a window there peeking into a flowerbed#and the downstairs isnt like a normal basement bc its like. its got 3 bedrooms + a living room with fireplace and its own full bathroom. an#also the laundry room is down there#sigh.... so basically the house is like. its a very simple 2 story house but theres like. its just shifted so its a halfstory below ground.#i mighttt be able to do something with platforms ?? to make it work?? but i wouldnt be able to build it into the hill#my grans house is more straight forward like the basement is mostly underground aside from the very back wall which is also the garage#butttt its also got a little landing on the staircase that leads to the basement. and theres a door there that leads outside#it also has a bunch of random doors on the top floor (which is the floor you enter on but as you get further back into the house its like.#it kind of turns into a 2 story house)#this isnt my grans Now house she moved out yeah im upset abt it but whatever. but yeah its like that bc apparently the basement used to be#like. entirely underground but when the interstate was built they had to like. move the house ?? or move the hill at least. so yeah
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ough
#just finiahed reading haunting of hill house and have been crying so hard for a half hour i still thibk i might throw up#FOR SOME REASON AFTER SEEING HOW MUCH THEY CHANGED FOR THE SHOW I WAS STILL GUT PUNCHED WITH THE CHOICE THEY DID DECIDE TO KEEP. AND#ITS#YEAH#5stars easy one of the best books ive read ever let alone this year jesus#nel is going to stay in hill house and my heart in ways that are so new and devistating meeting her a second time#i gotta buy a beautiful copy of this book#and then also a cheap one to draw and write and highlight all over#FULL sobs. i have put the book down and cant bring myself to hit the return button for the library because#she. she just wanted to be seen and wanted andD I. CANT CONTRIBUTE TO THE PEOPLE WHO TOLD HER TO LEAVE. NOT YET.#watch me get matching stone lion tattoos for her#jessssus this was a hell of a thing#the show was hard this one was somehow harder#both stunning. obv.#god im gunna have to rewatch and rip myself apart w the easter eggs wont i#later. not yet.#if i think about them being her literal family members too hard my eyeballs will burst out of my head#irl#personal#god the choice to make luke her twin and theo her older sister is going to chew my up inside forever#mike i have several thousand questions would u like to sit down and discuss
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have finally been inspired to start back on research to look forward to doing a phd in a couple years and what i missed and love about academic study is the bit where i’m two pages into an introductory text for a concept and am already distracted by daydreaming about how dope it’ll be when i basically know this whole field by heart because i’ll definitely finish this book and 20 others, how long can it take, like a week or something, and then i’ll write so many papers and get at least 5 phds and
#but this time i've decided to just actually do it#bc to be honest if i could get my BA while on the wrong meds for most of it and barely ever sleeping or eating#and my MA in that house with my horrible landlord and my untreated ptsd#imagine what i can do now that i have meds and regular mealtimes and a cute little apartment with a desk i just organised so nicely#and lovely friends who are so enthusiastic when i rubber duck debug my thoughts to them#(and also a full time job and many other hobbies so i'm trying to be REASONABLE about my time spending)#but like i could just read five pages a day and that'll add up#anyway back to actually learning what pragmatics is and not just thinking about how cool it'll be to know what pragmatics is
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i want to watch the things on my watchkist but i also never do its rly tragic
#i have plenty of time i always could but instead im like idk what abt laying in bed#whatever. im having a stupid gay moment so i have to like do that instead. <- this judt means i have to sit here and go God i want to be#loved god i wabt to hold somebody i need to be held i should buy a revolver. not elaborating on the last one there are several ways you can#interpret it.#DJFBFJFNFJGNGN#IT JUST. SIGHHH. SIGHHHHH. its my fault for engaging with romance media bc it always makes me so lonely. which sucks#bc it also makes me giddy at times like i like it. but then im likr I dont have this and then i get all emo#its whatever one day when we spontaneously grow and become a real person maybe we will be able to like go out and do like. i dont know#something#almost 1 year its crazy yk. idk.. sigh. i need 2 get my ged#not rly related to any of it but it is ged is the Thing i need to do so i can do everything else#like i need a ged to get a job i need a job to fix my life (itll force me to keep a schedule again) and to get money and i need money to#do Anything at all. sigh#i miss alcohol but also drinking alone sucks. but i cant drink with ppl anymore bc i get too sad. not like my friend edibles who never make#me sad At least not abt that. there was that post abt like humanity through the ages that i cried at RLY HARD for a full hour bc i kept#crying until my screen turned off and then calming down a bit and then turning my phone back on and seeing the post again and immediately#crying again DJFNJF#anyways ive been thinking and i rly wish there was likee. sigh. unfortunately ignoring the mushy stuff i need a partner for utility purposes#1 finances 2 i cant drive and i dont think ill ever be able to . ik i should just try and learn but the thought makes me real life nauseous#but i also uppn reflection would like to live in the countryside maybe. idk i change my mind constantly#bc city is convenient and i havent lived in Cities very much i dont like suburbs bc you cant walk anywhere and theres nothing 2 do#cities you can walk everywhere country you cant but you get to be outside and i want to start being outside again... creek rly solidified#this. my dream house it has a creek nearby#in fact its kind of exactly the same as the creek at granny n papaws house. but without leeches LOL. and maybe less cow shit#but ya. thered be a creek... well in one of my dreamhouses at least#my dreamapartment there isnt a creek bc the apartments in a city with lots of food options. which is a requirement#but maybe there is a little creek in the park in the city but i couldnt swim there i bet. unfortunately.... sigh. but this is where partner#with car clmes in in both situations is in rhe city they could drive me out to a lake . we would go together and maybe wed paddleboard#or we could get one of those little boats that you umm. with the umm. feet. what the... what r they called#whatever we had those at family reunions w papaws family when i was a baby. they were fun. paddleboat???????
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AU Where the Justice League forms as usual except for one slight difference where Bruce just so happens to have been the one superheroing for the longest. (Excluding Diana, who got up to it in World War 1 and then mostly didn't while she learned about Man's World)
Bruce helps form the Justice League, ignoring all of the comments as they come to the sudden realization that Gotham's baby cryptid story is actually a man in a very intimidating armored suit who can and will break your arm if you cause problems for him. They are unaware that this is not the first team he's led, and actually he's used to teams full of mostly teenagers who also happen to be his children. This should be easier, this team is primarily adults.
He realizes rapidly that he doesn't understand these people.
His kids take bonding activities to mean learning a dozen different ways to break someones leg. That doesn't fly with these people. And that is most of Bruce's ideas, hell when he was a kid Alfred took every opportunity to get him out of his room and mostly that was with the agreement that Alfred would teach him how to defend himself. He's come by it honestly.
This team is not easier. They have more drama than when his house was actually full of kids. It's insane. He doesn't know what to do with it, usually he just sent the kids to their rooms or grounded them from patrol. That doesn't work here.
He comes to a strange crossroads. That falls apart when he forgets who he's working with and snaps at Hal with a full room of heroes that the next person to throw a punch or an insult without a reason too will be sparring with him.
A long standing rule in the batcave that worked two fold to prevent infighting between the kids and too ensure that they were well and truly trained.
It works wonders. No one says a word out of line for the rest of the debrief. Bruce becomes the unofficial mediator of the league over Clark because anytime he walked in on a fight it suddenly became 10 times more civil out of sheer terror of what he'd do to them in a sparring match.
Eventually they actually meet his kids. Well, one kid.
Half way through a mission (one of the rare ones in Gotham) the Bat comes to a complete stop at the edge of an alley. Every single league member on the team comes to a stop behind him. Slowly from the shadows of the alley a man in a red helmet stalks out to greet them.
"You don't call, you don't write"
"Red Hood."
"Don't Red Hood me! We've been worried sick!"
"I was at the cave last night."
"You didn't answer my texts B. You always answer my texts."
Somehow it ends with big and scary following them through the rest of the mission with a running commentary of how much Bats has let him down in his failure to respond in a timely manner to a text send less than an hour before he ran into them in the alley. It only ends when Red Robin shows up.
And even then it only ends because Hood can't keep himself from throwing a punch and Bruce has to snap at him that if he throws another one they're sparring when they get home.
And by god is Jason giving up the chance to punch his brothers.
#the psychic whiplash when the league realizes#that the pit fight tactic is from dealing with his children#also that he has children#batman#dc#bruce wayne#red hood#jason todd#red robin#tim drake#batfamily#clark kent#justice league#superman#nightwing#timothy drake#batfam#fic ideas#wonder woman#diana prince#diana of themyscira
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just remembered i was supposed to get the Grief Chapter vinyl preorder (the one with the signed card) alongside a hoodie as a christmas gift and while i understand it was a preorder so it wouldn't arrive immediately as it was meant to ship out after the album released... it literally never arrived.
so i can only assume that means it was never ordered for me in the first place after the person who was SUPPOSED to be ordering it had an argument with mom and said "i guess your kids won't have a fucking christmas then"
like wow just fuck me over because you hate my mom i guess. fucking bitch.
#ryan's rants#remind me to delete this later#it sucks too getting it with the card was a limited fucking offer!!!!!!#i'll literally never own anything signed by the fucking band because of this bitch!!!!#(<- too poor to just go to shows and like... have them sign a sheet of paper or anything)#also can you tell i'm a spoiled little bitch? it's 9pm and i'm literally abt to cry over a fucking stupid thing someone didn't buy for me??#like it's literally not that important. i'm about to lose my house. there's shit i need to actually worry about#like idk killing myself so i don't go through the nightmare that is homelessness for a second time#but nah let's be sad about a fucking vinyl record we don't even have a player for#and a fuckin stupid hoodie that was like 50 bucks on the site#can't believe we're gonna be fuckin homeless again#twice between like 2022 and this year#so like... only two years apart#and none of my fucking friends want to talk to me anymore. one of em keeps fuckin blowing me off for some discord server full of kids who#keep fucking harassing her and bullying her and shit#and i'm just so fuckin tired.#i really am.#i don't think i can keep going honestly.
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