#doing nothing but learning how to train her

[oediex]

You know what, yeah, that bell hooks quotation wasn't appropriate, it doesn't say what the person who added it think it says.

But I don't think it's fair to say that that man who everyone is pissing on somehow claimed we had to "hold his hand" or "coddle" him or whatever. Or even that women had to do it.

He never once even mentioned the word 'woman' in that post. I'm not excluding that that what he was implying - it's very possible! - but what he said was "the left", and let's be clear, this is his understanding of what the left is. I saw people saying that a "self-proclaimed leftist" should understand that his answer was still drenched in patriarchal thinking. But he never once proclaimed he was a leftist. Perhaps he thinks he is, but all he said was that he got "out" of the "alt-right". For all we know, that means he voted for the Democratic Party and we, who are on the left, all know that's not the fucking left.

The question that was posed was how do we keep young men from turning right wing, and he offered an explanation. An explanation! Not an excuse! Again something that a lot of people just assumed.

And yes, it was a flawed explanation, and yes he has some things to learn, and yes it was uncritical and terribly phrased.

But can we recognise that not everyone has the necessary critical thinking skills to completely dig their way out of the overarching ideology that fucking rules our lives? Critical thinking skills aren't something that we are born with. It's something that is learned, something that you have to train. It's a never-ending project. And from what I know of the educational system in the US? That's not where you get it.

Speaking of bell hooks, at least she understands this. In that book (The Will to Change) she writes that "most men never think about patriarchy - what it means, how it is created and sustained." She writes how the patriarchy sees men's violence and the one emotion they're allowed to have, anger, as "natural". Understanding the patriarchy is something that has to be learned, and you either figure it out yourself by reading, but most of us probably had someone in our lives who talked to us about it, taught us about it, and then we might have started reading more about it.

What if you don't have someone like that? What if all you hear is that the things feminists tell you is bad is what was imprinted on you as "natural" to you?

Here's bell hooks:

Yet no one talks about the role patriarchal notions of manhood play in teaching boys that it is their nature to kill, then teaching them that they can do nothing to change this nature—nothing, that is, that will leave their masculinity intact.

Here's what she says of her own brother:

As patriarchal thinking and action claimed him in adolescence, he learned to mask his loving feelings. He entered that space of alienation and antisocial behavior deemed “natural” for adolescent boys.

She clearly pinpoints the moment of these patriarchal ideas taking hold to be in adolescent, and the question that was posed was, what can we do to stop that from happening? I've seen people say that nothing can be done until we change the material conditions that make it so that men systematically have power over women. And yeah, undoubtedly that is a fight we need to have. But is that truly the only way we can keep (some) boys from falling into the grasp of the (alt-)right? Is there no hope in at least reaching them in the meantime?

I've seen a post saying, "omg of course he goes for misandry" and while misandry isn't real in that men are not systematically oppressed, that doesn't mean that there aren't some out there who express hatred or disgust of men. That's not what the left stands for, obviously, but it is not absent. Here are some comments from the notes on some of these reaction posts (and presumably these are all people who consider themselves leftists):

"you should be hunted for sport"

"makes me want to commit homocide"

"kys right now"

"'leftists constantly said i should die' yeah fucking right"

"we need to double male loneliness and I'm not even kidding"

"I HATE MEN AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. THEY HATE US MORE AND THEY HAVE ALL THE POWER TO DO ACTUAL HARM TO US. Misandry is NOT FUCKING REAL but I wish it was"

"we should kill people who don't get it"

Is that hatred of men (non-systematically)? Not all of it, but some of it definitely or possibly qualifies. And it sure does look like some people (who probably think themselves leftists) think this man (or men in general) are the "scum of the earth" and that they want him/them dead. How else do you interpret some of these phrases?

Now imagine that this is something that you encounter online, and with the help of the stranglehold of the patriarchy, whispers of right wing ideology, confirmation bias, and negativity bias? I can imagine you might end up concluding they "hate you for your immutable traits" (remember patriarchy teaches boys that violence and anger is natural to them) and that they "blame you for everything that's wrong in the world".

Is that the right conclusion? No. But as much as being able to use reason is part of being human, so is not being immune to ideology and propaganda. We wouldn't fucking be where we are right now if that wasn't the case.

How do we teach boys that anger and violence aren't "immutable traits"? How do we educate them about the power of the patriarchy? Well, where does it have to come from if not from the fucking left?

Does it have to be you? No. Does it have to be women? Also no. It's probably good if it's men, and especially men who themselves walked with the right at some point (if someone has already been pulled into the right, rather than catching them before).

It can be a woman though, if there's someone who wants to do it. I don't mind doing it if someone wants to talk about it. Will I be nice? No, I won't hold back and I will tell them if what they're saying is wrong. Will I coddle them? Fuck no. Will I keep trying if someone clearly isn't listening? No. Will I be compassionate? Yeah, I think I will.

Because compassion is really important when you're trying to keep people from falling into the far-right, or even if you're trying to get them out of it (which again, isn't what we were talking about in the first place).

Here's Pete Simi, professor of Sociology, talking about Life After Hate, an American non-profit that tries to help people leave the far-right:

The organization was started by former hate group members who have been doing a lot of outreach in terms of providing testimonials and trainings to schools and law enforcement and other community groups across the country. The focus of their message is the importance of using compassion to inform prevention and intervention efforts and aftercare for individuals who want to change their lives but may need various types of support. I think LAH is a very promising development and I hope it will continue to find the resources that it needs to expand the services it provides.

Being compassionate doesn't mean coddling. It doesn't mean holding their hands and it doesn't even mean being nice to them. It doesn't exclude holding people accountable for their views. It does require patience, though. And I understand that if someone is holding the belief that you are not allowed to exist, that isn't something you can do. And that's fine. It doesn't have to be you.

But somebody has to do it, and it has to be someone on the left.

Now none of that means that the suffering of men under patriarchy, and the fact that this has to be addressed loud and clear, are more important than the suffering that women, and especially women whose oppression intersects with other levels of oppression. I've seen some tags on reaction posts that stated "omg of course centring men in discussions of gender" - but the post was about men. That was the whole starting point!

Because men do suffer under the patriarchy. And it's pushing them to the right, towards misogyny and racism, unless they develop the necessary critical thinking skills to understand their own suffering. And you know who thinks so too? bell hooks.

Often men, to speak the pain, first turn to the women in their lives and are refused a hearing. In many ways women have bought into the patriarchal masculine mystique. Asked to witness a male expressing feelings, to listen to those feelings and respond, they may simply turn away.

Since men have yet to organize a feminist men’s movement that would proclaim the rights of men to emotional awareness and expression, we will not know how many men have indeed tried to express feelings, only to have the women in their lives tune out or be turned off.

It is a form of abuse that this culture continues to deny. Boys socialized to become patriarchs are being abused. As victims of child abuse via socialization in the direction of the patriarchal ideal, boys learn that they are unlovable.

The patriarchal model that tells men that they must be in control at all times is at odds with cultivating the capacity to be responsible, which requires knowing when to control and when to surrender and let go. Responsible men are capable of self-criticism. If more men were doing the work of self-critique, then they would not be wounded, hurt, or chagrined when critiqued by others, especially women with whom they are intimate. Engaging in self-critique empowers responsible males to admit mistakes. When they have wronged others, they are willing to acknowledge wrongdoing and make amends. When others have wronged them, they are able to forgive. The ability to be forgiving is part of letting go of perfectionism and accepting vulnerability. At the same time, constructive criticism works only when it is linked to a process of affirmation. Giving affirmation is an act of emotional care. Wounded men are not often able to say anything positive. They are the grump-and-groan guys; cloaked in cynicism, they stand at an emotional distance from themselves and others. Affirmation brings us closer together. It is the highest realization of compassion and empathy with others. One of the negative aspects of antimale feminist critiques of masculinity was the absence of any affirmation of that which is positive and potentially positive in male being. When individuals, including myself, wrote about the necessity of affirming men and identifying them as comrades in struggle, we were often labeled male-identified. The women who attacked us did not understand that it was possible to critique patriarchy without hating men. Indeed, recognizing all the ways that males have been victimized by patriarchy (even though they received rewards) was a way of including men in feminist movement, welcoming their presence and honoring their contribution.

“in order to create loving males we need to love males” means teach boys that they can be themselves without being less of a man. it means being encouraging and nurturing of their emotions so they don’t become cold and hateful. it means showing boys, early in their lives, that they have value outside of what our society deems proper masculinity. what it doesn’t mean is that it’s our job to handhold men who see women as walking sex toys through the concept of empathy, and maybe if we’re really really nice to them and don’t say things that hurt their feelings they’ll stop killing us for saying no

[naamahdarling]

I'm probably going to piss some people off with this, but.

The use of AI and machine learning for harmful purposes is absolutely unacceptable.

But that isn't an innate part of what it does.

Apps or sites using AI to generate playlists or reading lists or a list of recipes based on a prompt you enter: absolutely fantastic, super helpful, so many new things to enjoy, takes jobs from no-one.

Apps or sites that use a biased algorithm (which is AI) which is not controllable by users or able to be turned off by them, to push some content and suppress others to maximize engagement and create compulsive behavior in users: unethical, bad, capitalism issue, human issue.

People employing genAI to create images for personal, non-profit use and amusement who would not have paid someone for the same service: neutral, (potential copyright and ethics issue if used for profit, which would be a human issue).

People incorporating genAI as part of their artistic process, where the medium of genAI is itself is a deliberate part of the artist's technique: valid, interesting.

Companies employing genAI to do the work of a graphic designer, and websites using genAI to replace the cost of stock photos: bad, shitty, no, capitalist and ethical human issue.

People attacking small artists who use it with death threats and unbelievable vitriol: bad, don't do that.

AI used for spell check and grammar assistance: really great.

AI employed by eBay sellers to cut down on the time it takes to make listings: good, very helpful, but might be a bad idea as it does make mistakes and that can cost them money, which would be a technical issue.

AI used to generate fake product photos: deceptive, lazy, bad, human ethical issue.

AI used to identify plagiarism: neutral; could be really helpful but the parameters are defined by unrealistic standards and not interrogated by those who employ it. Human ethical issue.

AI used to analyze data and draw up complex models allowing detection of things like cancer cells: good; humans doing this work take much longer, this gives results much faster and allows faster intervention, saving lives.

AI used to audit medical or criminal records and gatekeep coverage or profile people: straight-up evil. Societal issue, human ethical issue.

AI used to organize and classify your photos so you don't have to spend all that time doing it: helpful, good.

AI used to profile people or surveil people: bad and wrong. Societal issue, human issue, ethical issue.

I'm not going to cover the astonishingly bad misinformation that has been thrown out there about genAI, or break down thought distortions, or go into the dark side of copyright law, or dive into exactly how it uses the data it is fed to produce a result, or explain how it does have many valid uses in the arts if you have any imagination and curiosity, and I'm not holding anyone's hand and trying to walk them out of all the ableism and regurgitated capitalist arguments and the glorification of labor and suffering.

I just want to point out: you use machine learning (AI) all the time, you benefit from it all the time. You could probably identify many more examples that you use every day. Knee-jerk panicked hate reflects ignorance, not sound principles.

You don't have beef with AI, you have beef with human beings, how they train it, and how they use it. You have beef with capitalism and thoughtlessness. And so do I. I will ruthlessly mock or decry misuse or bad use of it. But there is literally nothing inherently bad in the technology.

I am aware of and hate its misuse just as much as you do. Possibly more, considering that I am aware of some pretty heinous ways it's being used that a lot of people are not. (APPRISS, which is with zero competition for the title the most evil use of machine learning I have ever seen, and which is probably being used on you right now.)

You need to stop and actually think about why people do bad things with it instead of falling for the red herring and going after the technology (as well as the weakest human target you can find) every time you see those two letters together.

You cannot protect yourself and other people against its misuse if you cannot separate that misuse against its neutral or helpful uses, or if you cannot even identify what AI and machine learning are.

[damiansgoodgirll]

Hey 💜💜 wondering if you could write something where Damian and reader have been trying to have a baby for so long, and they've done all the treatments, but nothing ever worked, so they’ve stopped "trying". And then she ends up pregnant randomly, and her gift to him on Christmas is a positive test or a cute onesie or whatever, and it takes him a minute to actually believe her 💜💜

i love this request so much! working on it!

damian priest x reader

likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated!

‼️mention of infertility, pregnancy, pregnancy sickness, a little angst, mention of smut, fluff and comfort‼️

early christmas present

one year and a half.

one year and a half of you and damian trying to have a family together. one year and a half of you going from doctor to doctor, clinic to clinic and changing different treatments and yet nothing ever happened.

maybe it wasn’t meant to be. maybe you and damian weren’t fit to be parents and this was the sign. maybe it wasn’t meant for you to be a mother in this lifetime, no matter how much you wanted to be.

and you spent a year and a half blaming yourself. you reached to a point where you tried to break up with damian, saying how he deserved someone who could give him a family.

he thought you were crazy when you said that. he loved you so much and the idea of losing you was killing him, so, after a lot of therapy sessions, sleepless nights crying in each other’s arms, you came to the conclusion that it wasn’t really meant to be and that there was nothing you could do about it.

the idea of being infertile never crossed your mind so it was a big shock to you but as time passed by, you learned how to live with that and instead of focusing on the bad things, you took your life back.

a few people in the company knew or more - heard - about you and damian not being able to have kids and tried to suggest you many different options, from adoption to surrogacy but even if they seemed having good intentions, it pain you to know that your own problems became public domain.

you and damian lived your life. he promised to stay by your side and he did. he knew how much you wanted this and he was hurting at the idea of you feeling like it was your fault.

you found strength to take your mind off of that and focusing on different things. helping damian training, having dates like it was your first time together, spending much needed time in each other’s company. all the little things you loved that felt lost a year ago.

passionate nights with damian, him reminding you how much he loved you and appreciated you. you felt like yourself again and you got used of being just you and him, even if it meant for the rest of your life.

about a week ago you got sick. thinking it was just a normal cold, you let it go. but it got worse when the delicious smell of fresh bread and coffee became unbearable for you and got you nauseous every single morning.

“stomach issues again?” damian softly asked when he saw the disgust painted on your face.

“i think so…it smells so bad damian” you tried to joke when damian backed off so he could drink his coffee without making you feel worse.

“do you want me to make you something else? eggs? bacon? pancakes? anything you like?” he was so caring with you but the idea of eating made you even sicker.

“i feel like i could throw up the whole menu” you said making him laugh “i booked an appointment for today, i’m having a check up, maybe i got some virus or something…nothing too serious” you tried to remain calm but the idea of being sick for so long made you worry.

“i wish i could come with you but i promised rhea i would help her train…let me call her so i can come with you” he was about to pick up the phone but you stopped him.

“it’s not necessary damian, i promise” you smiled “she needs you, i’ll see you later on tonight” he knew that you wouldn’t have let him ditch rhea for a simple check up and he knew that no matter what he said, you wouldn’t let him come.

he nodded, moving the coffee away so he could properly kiss you before you left the house.

a couple of hours later and you were sitting in your car, watching the people passing by as you were trying to elaborate what the doctor just told you.

you weren’t sick - you were pregnant.

you were pretty sure it was impossible for you but all the tests the doctor ran turned positive.

how?

when?

your mind was racing and you couldn’t stop the million thoughts that were going through it.

sure, you and damian stopped having sex with condoms when you were trying to have a baby and when you learned that you couldn’t have kids you never really cared about safe sex anyway.

but how did it happen if you were infertile?

the doctor didn’t have a proper answer and he already scheduled some appointments to keep you checked, saying that it was almost a miracle.

right now, you were thinking about damian.

how were you going to tell him?

many ideas crossed your mind. from a mug with “best dad”, to a small t-shirt or maybe even a teddy bear.

you wanted to make this special for him too so when you crossed a shoe store on your drive back home, you decided to stop and get some inspiration. immediately your eyes fell upon a baby version of the black nike sneakers he had and you thought it was going to be an awesome gift.

your baby wasn’t even born and yet you were buying matching shoes for them and damian. while wrapping the box, the sale assistant smiled at you, unconsciously knowing that you had in mind.

you couldn’t contain your excitement and enthusiasm so you tried to speed back home.

too much surprise damian was already back and he was watching something show when you entered the front door.

his eyes immediately fell upon you, remembering you had the visit that morning.

“hey mi amor” he smiled “how are you? feeling better? what did the doctor say?” thousands of questions immediately echoed in the room, making you chuckle.

“one question at a time damian” you smiled sitting next to him on the couch “i’m feeling better, thanks, and the doctor gave me an explanation on why i keep getting sick, especially in the morning” you tried not to be so excited but it was hard.

“so?” damian was worried. he couldn’t understand why you were so happy and smiley.

instead of giving him an answer, you took the box right out of your bag and gave it to him “let say this is an early christmas present…and also the reason on why i’m always so sick” you watched him look between you and the box “come on, open it” you smiled.

damian carefully opened the small box and for a moment his heart stopped.

mini shoes? he wasn’t understanding.

and then it clicked.

“what? how? is this real?” his eyes moved between your now teary eyes and the little shoes he was holding in his hands “is it real?”

you nodded, not being able to find enough words.

“we’re gonna be parents?” he asked, now fully already knowing the answer.

“yes…” your voice broke a little but the joy filling the room was worth all of the tears you were shedding.

“this is the best gift i could ever ask for” he wrapped you in his arms and held you as you both cried of joy.

“i already booked the next appointments. the doctor wants to run some more tests and try to understand how i actually got pregnant…and we have an ultrasound appointment in a week too…we’re gonna see the baby soon” you cried onto damian’s shoulder.

“fuck, i love you so much mi amor” he quickly wiped off his tears before softly kiss your lips “and i can’t believe you got us matching shoes” he bursted out laughing.

“i can’t wait to get you matching clothes, matching pjs, matching socks, everything gonna be matching” you joked, making him even happier.

damian’s hand went over your belly “i can’t wait to meet you baby…” he softly spoke making your heart warm “you are already so loved…we love you so much, mama and papa…i can’t believe i’m saying this” he was still high on emotions and you couldn’t blame him.

maybe it really was a christmas miracle.

[theflagscene]

Let’s talk Jack and Joke’s perceived parental roles -

It’s laid out in plain words in episode ten so that there is absolutely no doubt whatsoever, Jack and Joke have taken Toi Ting in and have no plans on returning her to her deadbeat abusive bio-dad. I believe that it going to stay that way, so we’re going to keep to that assumption of her being adopted or fostered by them legally once everything is sorted.

Note: not looking for arguments about the legitimacy of blood relations verses found/chosen family. An adopted child is that person’s child, you do not need to have carried them in your body for them to be yours.

I adore that YinWar have been pushing back against the stereotypes around gay men and queer media in general about what roles a person takes in the relationship, they’ve mostly been focusing on the sexual aspect because that is the part that people tend to get the most hung up on.

Yet I find it wildly interesting how easily Jack and Joke fall into what would be considered the ‘heteronormative parental roles’ when it comes to Toi Ting. It’s not a bad thing! No, it’s actually quite nice to see. They’re not forcing any ‘husband/wife’ ideals into their relationship, they just naturally fall into the roles that are appropriate for them as a couple and a family unit.

Jack is very much in the ‘father’ role, remember, father does not instantly mean masculine or emotionally stunted. He is the protector, he is a trained martial artist and debt collector, he is physically intimidating. He is firm and chastising but also patient and forgiving, he is the one Toi Ting feels physically safe with the most, she runs to him for help, she learns her bravery and defiance from him. He absolutely will pat her back, smooth down her hair and allow himself be to dragged away by the hand to get ice cream. He is playing the role of not just a father figure, but a daddy. (stop giggling at that word, the internet has ruined us all ��)

Meanwhile, Joke has one hundred percent filled the ‘mother’ role for Toi Ting. Again, not because he’s femme or whatever - side note, there’s nothing wrong with being femme! Joke is a natural carer, he wears his emotions on his sleeve because he never had anyone care about him before. He is gentle and a listener, both things that serve him well as a thief. When Toi Ting comes running to Jack for physical protection, it is Joke that offers emotional protection. He is the one that takes her into his arms and calms her down, he hugs her, reassures her and speaks with clam and loving words to bring her big scary emotions back down to a more manageable level. Joke can redirect her attention and is the one that sits and paints with her, Jack just ‘supervises’, aka is a big dope that’ll ruin the painting lol. But together Jack and Joke are able to offer Toi Ting what she needs, both a mother figure and a father figure, regardless of their genders.

Which leads me into the absolute heartbreak of a scene at the end of episode ten, where Jack and Joke find themselves in the one place no parent ever wants to find themselves. Stuck on the other side of those damnable white doors, unable to get to your child.

Joke has an emotional response, very much a mother’s response. Again, mothers tend to be the ‘emotional nurturers’ so them being more giving with their emotions is to be expected. And I would just like to point out how exceptional War plays that role, he is a mother waiting in terror to find out if his baby is dying or dead.

The blank horrified stare, the shaking hands and quivering movements, the fact that his legs fail him and he ends up curled up on the floor. Covering his mouth to keep the sobs in, yet unable to stop the silent flow of tears, barely even noticing when Hoy tries to comfort him. Joke doesn’t snap out of his shock until Jack shows up.

Jack on the other hand has a very ‘fatherly’ response, the pacing, the pinched expression, the heavy breathing and muttering before just exploding with anger, swearing loudly and looking for someone to blame. He can’t break down just yet, he’s too angry, too scared, he’s not the emotional support. He’s the protector, the provider and he hates himself for failing. Yin played that so well, how he kept moving to touch his head, putting his hands on his hips, fidgeting as he paced, forcing the camera to keep up with his near frantic movements.

Where Joke froze, Jack found movement.

Where Joke was quiet, Jack exclaimed loudly.

Where Joke allowed tears to flow, Jack held his pain tightly in.

Joke and Jack are Toi Ting’s mother and father, and that final hospital scene just proved it.

[johannesviii]

Parallels, foreshadowing and narrative echoes in Infinity Train Book 3 episode 1 "The Musical Car" [1/2]

I can pinpoint the moment I rewatched that episode as the one when my obsession with this show went completely off the rails pun intended in early March 2024. I haven't been normal about it since then even though we're currently in November. Of course almost every series ever made uses parallels and foreshadowing in some capacity, it's just that Infinity Train episodes are about ten minutes long and there's an amazing amount of foreshadowing, parallels and other narrative echoes packed in those first ten minutes and it drives me nuts

I'm not going to explain most of these things. Some of them are incredibly obvious, some aren't. I'm just listing them so we can scream about them together and hopefully I'll feel less insane afterwards

Also I had to make two posts cause I hit the new image limit. Kill me

Let's go

A familiar place becoming hostile and unfamiliar

The first time we see Grace in this Book, she's basically reenacting something she wanted to do as a kid, except now she's the one in control

I also can't help but notice there's three different versions of Hazel from three different angles when Grace is questioning her own decisions in her tape and her mind is basically using Hazel as a mouthpiece for that. When I look at you I see me

Dance lessons foreshadowing

The first time we see Simon in this Book, he's painting a miniature, and it's part of a series of parallels which makes me ESPECIALLY insane. Something about him seeing himself as a little soldier, then treating Grace as if she was one of his miniatures later on. Bear with me for SIX FUCKING GIFS here cause it's a whole extended metaphor which keeps reappearing through the entirety of Book 3 and I've never seen anyone talk about that specific one. Maybe it deserved its own post. Too late now

He clearly loves to collect stuff. I wonder who he got that from, uh

Cool radar design. I wonder where we saw that kind of round, clockpunk-adjacent type of tech before

So there's two halves of one mask, one half is golden and represents comedy and it's on the right, one is the mask of tragedy and it's on the left. Cool, cool, nothing to see here

Grace learned from the best

Not bad, Simon. YEAH UH, SO, ABOUT THAT-

"I was ten"

"never trust an adult!" being weaponised later on

Only one half of the mask survived - the right side, now a tragedy mask and placed on the left side of the screen. Wow I wonder if this foreshadows anything about how this story will end, uh

All of this happens before the title card even appears on screen and I already hit image limit. I'm fine! I'm fine

Here's part 2

[fuck-customers]

cracker anon here once again!

started a new job back in DOC, and was told i'd be on seconds (which i have an hour-ish drive from said job, that comes into play later) and was pretty happy with that. 10-6 was great and it worked out because it would still be daylight while driving home, and i'd genuinely have nothing to really worry about. (bc by the time i got home or got into town, it was dark. i'm a little more comfortable driving in the dark in familiar territory,

well i got fucked over and now i'm working 12-close and it's DARK when i get out. you see- when i drive at night, i hallucinate. i hallucinate BAD. there are two people who literally live within the area (which one of them is new, so she IS being trained and learning how to do everything still) but she's about to be on her own before long and i hope my boss puts me on seconds again for a little bit to let her learn how to close -- i genuinely do not care what hours i work, but being put on nothing but closing is going to both burn me out quick and make me hallucinate driving home so bad i don't know if i can even work at night anymore at this point.

like. i don't want to fuck someone else over, as both my boss and the one coworker have kids who are under 10, but the one who just started has kids who are already moved out. i've been slapped on close for almost three weeks now and like i do not know how to approach my boss to ask her if i can go back to 10-6 for now. we both live an hour + away (and she in a different state) and i genuinely don't understand why she'd throw me on closing shifts knowing that? i can just hope the new girl is also going to be put on closing shifts to learn how to do it at some point this next week because i'm already so fried i'm genuinely just sitting in the office watching streaming services after getting the things my workers need.

Posted by admin Rodney

[kitterkat100]

My thoughts on Dragon Age: The Veilguard

So, I finished datv yesterday and now have time to sit and think about it. Now, obviously this is just my subjective opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. I am going to start with the good and go into the bad and then finish with more good (that teacher training coming in). Also, I learned how to do a read more for this.

I am going to start with the combat. I have made another post about this, but that was like 3 hours into my first playthrough. Veilguard has the best combat in the series. Usually Dragon Age games have combat that is a slog to get through, so much so that many people in the fandom say they don't play the games for combat but for the story. I have never been a fan of the real-time with tactical pause, I find it a little boring. I am not a big fan of turn-based, to begin with ( that is one of the reasons I still have not finished Baulder's Gate). In the past, if I wanted to play a good story game with fun combat, I would play Mass Effect. But I have fun just fighting enemies, if DAI's combat was this fun I would replay it more often.

Next the art direction. Now, I am no artist and I know next to nothing about anything. But I really like the art. I think the environments are beautiful. I like the character models. I know people were complaining about the models having small heads in the lead-up to the release, but I think it was because the game doesn't use heroic proportions. And you don't notice in-game at all, at least I didn't. Also the brought back some reused assets from the Inquisition, and some of the paintings that have been around since Origins.

Okay the companions. I might write a longer post for each companion later on. I am going in alphabetical order.

Bellara: I romanced her, and I love her so much. She has some strong Tali vibes with a strong dose of ADHD. I am a little sad that we did not even kiss until after the final battle, but I just read that as her being ace or demi (like me!).

Davrin: He is such a bro. I love him and Assan so much. His banter with Emmrich is so funny. The ending to his story line is a little weak, but I will talk about that in his own post.

Emmrich: I think Emmrich is one of the best companions in the whole series, flat out. I love this man, he going to be my next romance (Female Qunari Grey Warden).

Harding: Harding is great. I really liked all of the Titan stuff in her storyline. I did get her killed, so I am not sure what her ending is like. I did think her romance with Taash was cute.

Lucanis: I'm going to say it. I think Lucanis is the weakest of the companions, I don't dislike him. I don't if I missed a lot of content because I saved Minrathous instead of Treviso or if it was because his writer got canned during development. And what he did have felt bare bones. I thought we would be dealing with Spite a lot more. I will say his recruitment mission is a blast.

Neve: I played a Shadow Dragon so my character had a lot of in common with Neve. I like her, but I don't have any strong feelings towards her one or another. Her romance with Lucanis is a thing that happens. I might change my mind when I get around to romancing her.

Taash: I am cis, so take this with a grain of salt. But I think their storyline about being non-binary was oddly paced. I did like everything past that, I think it was much better paced. I do like them a lot. Also, they are really cute with Harding. I do wish there was more of a reaction to me getting Harding killed on Tearstone Island, but that is a writing complaint.

Speaking of the writing. It is really a mixed bag. Some of it is great and then some of it was giving slop comics from the mid-00s. The first several hours are story slog, some of that is because of all the lore dumps, and some of it is because it is oddly paced. The writing gets progressively better throughout the game. From the point of no return to the credits it is the strongest writing, maybe not in the whole series but definitely since the last third of DAI. That after-credit scene was a choice. I will probably talk about that more after I figure out how I feel about it. I think Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nan are the strongest villains since Loghain, it really helps that they are present throughout the game. There are definitely moments where you feel that Rook is HR, but not a lot, but enough that I understand why that made it into some reviews. I don't think it is any more quippy or Marvel-like than any other Dragon Age game, "Swooping is bad" comes to mind.

Finally, some random thoughts. I think this game really nailed the horror of the Blight, I can't get the image of Bellara wrapped in Blight tentacles during the final section out of my head.

I played a non-mage elf shadow dragon, and there was a lot of reactivity for the shadow dragon part, less the elf part. I know I missed a conversation with Tarquin about it, but still. It's like no one even noticed the pointy ears.

That's it for now. I might add more as think about it.

8/10, I had a blast.

[nakylvr]

Hello, could you do a one shot of Sophia from Katseye with a female reader? They are in the same group and like each other, but they never admit it, until one day when something happens in which Sophia gets jealous of the reader with some boy, and then declares herself afraid of losing her.

this was so fun to write, thank you so much for requesting! 🫶

— I LIKE YOU (I DO)

sophia laforteza (katseye) x fem!reader

summary: dealing with a crush in the same group is hard. dealing with the jealousy that comes with it is also hard. which is why sophia confesses out of fear.

warnings/tags: language, fluff, jealous!sophia, mutual pining, 7th member!reader, confessions

wc: 3,0k

main masterlist | katseye masterlist

Debuting was a dream come true. After dealing with two years of training and a survival show, you felt as if everything had worked out just the way it was intended to. You were close with all the girls that had debuted with you into the group and believed there was nothing that could go wrong from there. That was, except for the crush you had. 

You thought it was silly in the beginning, that it wouldn’t become anything too serious. You were with the other trainees since the beginning of the program, and grew extremely close to all of them. However, you realized within a few months that your “silly crush” was no longer silly anymore. It’s not like it was your fault! How could anyone not develop a crush on Sophia Laforteza? Still, you thought you were partially insane for it. 

The only thing you didn’t notice was Sophia’s feelings towards you were the same. 

Sophia felt like she had been shot in the chest when she was bluntly told by Daniela that it was obvious she had feelings for you. The “duh, it’s obvious” made her start panicking at the thought of being obvious about liking someone while being oblivious about it herself.  There was no way, in her mind at least. But, when she was told it she did realize it made sense, even if she didn’t notice the things she did herself. 

While Sophia was one of the older sister-like figure for most of the girls, it was noticeable that she would spend more of her time with you. If you were having a rough time during practice she would be there reassuring you and helping you with each step, when you weren’t practicing she was essentially always by your side, even if it was just sitting on the couch, Sophia made sure every time that she was the one sitting next to you, and if any of the other girls did she would throw a fit until one of them moved. She cooked for all the girls, but if you two were up in the middle of the night in the dorm she would make you food that was from your culture depending on what was in the dorm at the time. You two weren’t roommates, but the girls have multiple pictures of her making her way into your room to lay down with you and fall asleep that neither of you know about nor have seen. 

And yet, neither of you said anything. Both of you were too scared to do anything. It made sense. There was the initial fear of liking another person, then the fear of dealing with being in the same group as said person, and the many different outcomes that could come from it. Additionally, neither of you would ever believe the other reciprocated those feelings. 

You learned fairly quickly after debuting that Sophia could become jealous of when others would be around you, but you thought it was merely platonic and the sisterly love she had for all the girls in the group. You wouldn’t call yourself oblivious, but apparently, you were if you couldn’t figure this out. But, then again. There were a few times that made you start wondering about certain things. 

The first instance was when you were in Korea for the survival show, and she wakes you up in the middle of the night to go to a convenience store. 

“Psst, Yn, are you awake?” 

The answer was yes. You had been awake for the past two hours trying to get to sleep, so when you heard Sophia’s hushed voice ask you that question in the dark, you immediately responded. “Yeah.” You open your eyes to see Sophia crouching in front of your bed, the hood of her hoodie over her head and a small smile on her face as she hears you reply. 

“Do you want to go to a convenience store with me?” Sophia asks you. 

You can tell by the look on her face that she wants you to say yes, her eyes wide and filled with anticipation of your answer, the small smile on her face, and it’s what wins you over in the end despite your tiredness and dreading schedules for the next few days. “Yeah, sure,” You answer with a nod. “What time is it?” You ask, sitting up and rubbing your eyes with your hands. 

“It is…” Sophia’s voice trails off as she pulls her phone out of her pocket and looks at the time. “1:42!” She answers, showing you the phone. 

“Why are you even awake at this hour?” You ask her while yawning, grabbing your phone off the charger and swinging your legs over the bed, scooting yourself closer to the edge. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” Sophia shrugs, standing up. “Plus, I’m really hungry and want ramen.” She finishes with a smile. 

You let out a quiet chuckle and nod your head. “Yeah, that makes sense,” You say, getting up off your bed. “Give me a minute to get ready, I look like a mess right now,” You add, running a hand through your hair to try and fix what you know is a mess. 

“You look perfect,” Sophia responds the second after you speak without a hint of hesitation. It's too dark for you to see the blush make its way onto her face when she realizes those words actually came out instead of just staying in her head, but you're also grateful for the darkness as it hid your own flushed face. “I-I’ll be in the living room. Just come out when you're ready,” She says after a moment of silence, trying not to sound panicked but her stammering is noticeable. Within another second, Sophia hurries out of the room quietly, shutting the door behind her and going to sit down on the couch. 

You have no time to respond before Sophia is out of the room leaving you back in the darkness. You can’t lie to yourself and say that hearing those words from her made you feel warm inside because it did. Even if it wasn’t meant to be taken that way, it was still nice to have it be said while looking like a zombie half-awake at one in the morning. All you do to get changed is fix your hair, put a beanie on to cover the top, and put on a pair of slip-on shoes before leaving the room quietly. When you enter the living room, Sophia is sitting on the couch with her phone in her hands, looking at it so intently that she doesn’t even notice you walking up to her until you are standing right in front of her and speaking. 

“Wow, for someone who woke me up at one in the morning, you sure aren’t paying attention to me, huh?” 

Sophia’s head shoots up from her phone and a smile immediately makes its way onto her face. “Sorry, I was looking at something,” She replies. 

“Something important enough for me to go back to sleep?” You say with a short chuckle. 

“Nope!” Sophia shakes her head and quickly stands up. “Come on, let’s go!” She grabs your hand and starts walking to the front door. 

You let her drag your tired body to the front door and leave the house. You had your hood over your head like Sophia as you two started walking down the streets of Seoul to find a convenience store. You don’t even realize her hand is still holding onto yours until you glance down to look at the time on your watch, and a blush forms on your face, but you don’t do anything as you let your other hand fall back down to your side. 

After around ten minutes of talking whilst walking the streets, Sophia eventually spotted a convenience store and dragged you inside along with her. You felt an odd sense of relief when she let go of your hand finally, but you also wished she held onto it longer. But, again, you didn’t say anything as you two walked inside the small store. 

You absentmindedly follow Sophia as she roams the store looking through each of the small aisles of snacks. You stop in a random aisle and let Sophia walk off in another direction, grabbing a chocolate bar before continuing on your way to where Sophia was. You turn the corner to see her ripping open a package of ramen and you silently walk up behind her, peering over her shoulder. 

“Which one did you choose?” 

“Jesus Christ!” Sophia jumps, turning to look at you. “You scared the shit out of me!” 

“Sorry,” You smile innocently at her. 

Seeing your smile has all the (petty) anger fading from Sophia’s body the second she sees it. She couldn’t lie, she did love your smile. It’s just she wished they were directed towards her more, even if there was already more to her than the other girls. She doesn’t even notice she’s staring until you point at the package in her hands. 

“You know that’s like, super spicy, right?” You ask her. 

“Huh?” She lets out, not hearing what you said due to being stuck in her thoughts and staring. “Oh! I think I’ll be fine,” She shakes her head, turning back to the machine that dispensed the hot water. 

“That’s what you say now,” You say, grabbing a package of ramen and one of the plastic bowls. You rip open the package with your teeth and pour the contents into the bowl, not noticing Sophia’s gaze on you out of the corner of her eye while you move. 

The two of you watch the water pour into both of the bowls and you yawn, covering your mouth with your hand and rubbing your eyes with your other hand. 

“You should get an energy drink,” Sophia says. 

“I’ll be alright,” You reply. “Plus, I’m used to Redbulls.” 

“Redbulls,” Sophia shakes her head mumbling to herself. “Those things are so bad.” 

“I just like the strawberry apricot flavor,” You shrug your shoulders, grabbing the bowl from the dispenser and covering it with its top. “All the other flavors are shitty.” 

“They’re all shitty, Yn,” Sophia retorts, grabbing her bowl and sitting down at the little 2-person table. 

“Not the strawberry apricot,” You respond, sitting down in front of her. 

“Sure, sure,” She replies sarcastically while nodding her head. 

There’s a moment of silence that fills the space between you two and the small table, and you’re not sure what to say. You’re so awkward with Sophia outside of practice and the dorms that going out in the middle of the night with her feels weird now that it’s just the two of you alone. It’s not an awkward silence, it’s calming given the chaos you were thrown into daily with the program. But, you don’t know what to say. Maybe there isn’t anything to be said in the first place, you’re not completely sure. All you know is that this isn’t so bad, spending time alone with her without the other girls nearby. Looking at it now, you two look like a couple going to a place this late into the night just for some ramen. The thought made your face flush, and you look down at the table trying to not show it. 

“Are you okay?” Sophia questions once you randomly look down. 

“Yeah,” You nod your head, looking back up and at her. “I was just thinking,” You reply. 

Your words have Sophia raising one of her eyebrows, looking at you with an expression you hadn’t seen on her before. “About what?” She asks another question. 

The new look she’s giving you has you not knowing what to say. You could lie and say you were thinking about something totally different or, you could tell the truth and lowkey admit your crush on her. You can tell she’s anticipating your answer, and you stumble out words before you can even think over them and determine if you should say them. “I was just thinking about how we kinda look like a couple going out alone like this.” 

Sophia’s eyes widen for a split second before they return to normal, which you fail to notice, and she isn’t sure how to respond. She’s always known what to say and how to respond to things, but for some reason, she’s struggling right now. But, she tries her best to not show it. “Yeah, we kinda do, don’t we?” She replies, tilting her head slightly and smiling. “You don’t feel weird about that?” 

Her response along with her smile has the prominent blush on your face growing bigger, and you shake your head at her question. “No,” You answer. “Do-” You clear your throat out of nervousness. “Do you?” 

“No,” Sophia immediately answers, shaking her head with the smile not leaving her face. 

You weren't really sure what that meant in the moment, but when you two returned to the house you found yourself unable to sleep due to the thoughts running through your mind of what it could possibly mean. But, you didn't voice these thoughts out loud ever. Except to Megan, who insisted that it was obvious, Sophia liked you as well. 

Once the realization dawned on you that surely, Sophia liked you back, you felt a whole assortment of feelings that you didn't know what to do about. You didn't want to confess, because of the possibility that you were wrong, accidentally mistaking the kindness for liking you. But, you were having a hard time keeping it inside at the same time. 

You ended up keeping it inside the whole time. Throughout the program, throughout debuting, you didn't say a word. You couldn't. You didn't want to ruin everything that was built just because you ended up developing a silly crush on her. You weren't stupid enough to do that. 

In the end, it was Sophia who confessed first. 

It was an off day after months of schedules after officially debuting, and you and Sophia were doing a Target run to get groceries for the dorm. She had left you with the cart while she went further down the aisle to get something, leaving you standing there tapping your hand on the cart to a random song. 

You heard your name from behind you, and you turned your head to see one of your old friends walking up to you. A smile instantly grows on your face seeing him walk up to you. 

“Jax! I haven't seen you in forever!” You say smiling, hugging him as he walks up to you. 

“How are you doing?” He asks you once he pulls out of the hug. “You’re like, famous now,” He laughs lightly.

“I’m good!” You answer, giggling softly at his second sentence. “I’m not famous yet, Jax. I just debuted.” You shake your head. “But uh, it's something.”

“Mm?” He hums, tilting his head to the side. “What do you mean?” He questions.

“Nothing,” You shake your head again. “Don't worry about-” You stop your words when you hear footsteps approaching from behind and stopping next to you. 

“Sorry, no pictures,” Sophia says while putting the items in the cart, putting her hand up.

“Oh, I’m not a-”

“Sorry, we have to get going now,” She cuts him off before he can finish. “Come on,” She grabs your hand and starts walking away.

“Sophia, what the hell?” You instantly say when she stops halfway across the store. “He was my friend.” You pry your hand out of her grip. 

“I don't like him,” She responds, shaking her head. 

“What?” You question. “Okay, so? I haven't seen him for months! And you just dragged me off! You can't just do that!”

Sophia shakes her head again, not knowing what to do. She acted without thinking, she rarely does that. Now she got herself stuck in a situation not knowing how to handle it. You're clearly irritated judging by the look on your face, and she's contemplating just outright saying the reason she did it, the reason she did everything when it came to you. “I-” She starts, but you're quick to cut her off.

“You're what?” You cross your arms over your chest. “You’ve been acting weird ever since the debut, hell, since the lineup was announced! Part of me is starting to think you secretly hate me or something!”

“What?” Sophia lets out, looking at you like you just said something insane. “No, no, no, no, I don't hate you!” She says quickly, panicking truly for once in her life. “Yn, you have to understand I can't-”

“Understand what, Sophia? That-”

“I have feelings for you!” Sophia raises her voice to speak over you, her face immediately turning red when she realizes what she said. “I mean, I, uhm,” She stammers out as the look on your face changes and you take a step towards her.

“Are you serious?” You question seriously. “Please don't be lying to me right now.”

“I’m serious,” She answers quietly. “I know it's not-” She stops abruptly when you cup her face in your hands, staring at you with wide eyes. 

There's a moment of silence that lingers in the air as you two stare at each other, before you hesitantly start leaning closer to her. You stop, hesitating again with your lips merely inches away from hers, trying to see in her eyes if she really wanted this. Before you can do anything else, Sophia closes the gap and kisses you. It's quick as she pulls away, smiling at you with you smiling back.

“You don't have a clue how much I’ve wanted that to happen,” You admit shamelessly. 

“Mm, I had a feeling,” She says jokingly. 

“Oh really?” You reply in the same tone, tilting your head to the side.

“Yeah, Dani claimed it was ‘obvious’ to everyone else,” She nods.

“I’m so going to kill her when we get back,” You grumble out.

“Oh be quiet, it's cause of her this happened anyways,” Sophia pats your head gently. “You can kill her later.”

“Fine.”

[antebunny]

There’s something wrong with Jason. 

Early autumn of Cass’s first full year as Bruce Wayne’s daughter. Trees droop, browned and unbearably brittle, onto the cracked sidewalks. Children skip and slouch and trudge their way back into classrooms for another dull year of learning. The exception is Cass, happily at home with Barbara and Bruce, Tim and Steph and Dick and all the new members of her new family. None of them know quite how old Cass is, and resolutely refuse to have anything to do with Lady Shiva or David Cain, the only people who could tell them. But Barbara went to bat for Cass, arguing that the American education system was not beneficial for all American children, much less Cass, who was still adjusting, as Barbara put it. Learning to come out of her shell. So there’ll be no school for Cass this autumn or any autumn. Only apple cider and hot cocoa, safely tucked away by the fifth fake fireplace of Wayne Manor, curling up in window frames just to listen to the psithurism before the rain, and a flood of scarves and mittens and boots as every member of her family tries to prepare her for the incoming Gotham winter. 

Personally, Cass doesn’t get why introverts are always encouraged to become more extroverted. She thinks extroverts should be told to shut the hell up more often. Perhaps it is an American thing, she muses, but then, she loves her new family for their relentless positivity and inability to shut the hell up. From Steph, who drags her on girl’s night after girl’s night with Barbara, Harley, and all the other crazy girls of Gotham who want to paint their toenails neon purple with little stars and crack skulls open just to feel something. (Whenever Harley robs a department store she always sends Cass a dress she thinks she’ll like in the mail. Bruce always gives her a look, sends it back, then buys ten variations of the same dress). To Tim, who is hard at work learning ASL so they can communicate better and shares all of his embarrassing interests with her. Niche anime, questionable manga, decrepit video games, card games, board games, and a stash of Batman and Robin photos he swears her to secrecy over. To Dick, who remains upbeat and cheerful in the face of all her silences and stony stares. He always makes time to take her (and usually some of his other little siblings) to a pizza parlor, or an ice cream parlor, or an abandoned parking lot perfect for doing donuts. Dick Grayson is a busy man who gained most of his current family after turning eighteen and losing most of them beforehand. Yet his heart opens, bottomless and sincere, for every new orphan that shows up on Bruce’s doorstep. When he drops by Cass’s ballet studio, exhaustion crinkling in every forehead line and eye wrinkle, how can she not love him back? 

So she takes it personally when Jason continues to avoid them. Perhaps she could ignore it if it was clear that he wanted nothing to do with them, no matter how much the others missed him. But everytime they run into Jason it is clear to Cass that he misses them fiercely. She may not be an expert on the standard personality and behavioral ticks of Jason Todd, but she is an expert on body language, and everything about Jason screams bad, wrong, liar, liar, LIAR–

Cass goes to Barbara. 

These days Barbara spend the vast majority of her time in the Clocktower. Ever since the Joker, Cass has been told, and hung up the Batgirl cape. She rotates between the library and the tower, retreating from regular life while her law degree collects dust. And even though Dick gets sad whenever he see her, and Barbara feels guilty and helplessly furious, he never says anything. The two of them dance around in silent conversations–I love you, I know, I’m sorry–that start all over again the next time they see each other. As if Cass can’t tell.

“Cass! So good to see you.” Barbara smiles and wheels herself over to the window when Cass drops in unannounced. She’s in pain.

Cass is not a vigilante but she was trained to kill them. When she takes to the rooftops of Gotham, she wears a nondescript black mask. She shucks this mask off now so that Barbara can see her face and plods over to her dearest friend and surrogate mother. Steph tells her the term is “mom friend” and not to get weird about it, but Cass believes she’s well beyond the point of being considered weird. 

“Jason,” Cass announces. 

She leans down awkwardly to hug Barbara, so she misses everything that is said in response. By the time she straightens, Barbara’s face worries, deep emotional lines of someone whose loved ones spend 80% of their time in mortal peril, and her body twitches backwards, itching for the long row of computers and tech equipment on the far wall. Barbara is concerned about Jason, but she believes the trouble lies in whatever Jason’s doing right now. That she’ll know what to do with just a little cyberstalking. But Cass’s concern is more long-term than that. 

“Is there something wrong with Jason?” Barbara’s cadence indicates that this is not the first time she’s spoken. Oops. Cass missed her out-loud words because she was so busy paying attention to what Barbara was actually saying.

Cass points at the computers. She doesn’t know how to explain it with words.

Barbara takes the hint and wheels back over to her computer lab, where she pulls up all the surveillance footage she can of Jason’s usual haunts until she finds him disappearing up the fire escape of an old brick apartment building in the very edge of Burnley. Any further south and he’ll be in Gotham’s Upper East Side, and Jason can’t stand that neighborhood. 

As Robin, Jason had to be bullied into the Diamond District and the Upper West Side, but Bruce dragged him into Chinatown to practice his Cantonese and Jason went to Old Gotham willingly for the vibe. A lot of gargoyles, Cass has been told. Worn bricks, gothic spires, flying buttresses, and properly intimidating gargoyles for brooding. There is so much that Cass knows about Jason from other people. The reverse cannot be said, because Jason doesn’t really talk to them anymore. 

Barbara boots up a drone from the Bat-hideout closest to Jason’s apartment and flies it over. It’s a lovely little three-room apartment on the third floor of an old brick apartment building. One bedroom and one bathroom, which Barbara does not attempt to enter, and a kitchen/living room area. All the furniture in the living room looks new. A comfy armchair, two bookcases overflowing with newly-purchased novels, shiny new wood cabinets and a marble finish to the kitchen island. Three wooden stools, two of them as sturdy as the day they were bought. 

Remotely, she and Cass peer through the window as Jason makes his guns disappear before he reaches his kitchen island. Stripped down to a form-fitting black shirt and brown pants, Jason washes his hands, preheats the oven, and sets about making lemon and herb salmon.

“This looks pretty normal to me,” says Barbara.

Jason slides into one of the wooden stools around his marble kitchen island counter. He drums his fingers on the marble. He checks the time on his phone. The salmon, now covered in garlic, thyme, and rosemary and such, is still baking in the oven. 

“He’s just making himself dinner,” Barbara observes. She won’t call Cass a liar, but this isn’t worthy of the label “trouble.” 

She doesn’t see it. Cass is at a loss. If Barbara cannot see what is in front of her eyes, how can Cass possibly explain it? 

“Look,” Cass insists. 

After checking the time on his phone again, Jason gets up and paces. At over six feet tall, he makes his cozy apartment seems small. He picks a book out of his shelf, seemingly at random. He examines the cover. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. He puts the book back and resumes pacing the perimeter of his small home. 

Barbara sighs. “I don’t understand.”

She wants Cass to be able to just spit it out, but won’t say so because she knows Cass cannot. They’ve reached a stalemate. 

Here is what Cass cannot articulate: Jason Todd is lonely. Loneliness is built into Jason’s bones. It gathers in his bed at night like a soldier returning from war. It lashes at the confines of his self-imposed cage. When the loneliness threatens to break him, it explodes in the form of rage at anyone who dares to be near him. Ah, but what a liar that rage makes of him. Claiming he loves nothing and no one when all Jason has ever done is love. Raging against the state of his beloved city, fury at the father he will not forgive, and hate–blackened love–for those he once called family. A cruel, self-perpetuated cycle. The lonely drives him to rage which in self-delusion to hide his shame he lies about until everyone learns to stay away. Thus creating more loneliness for Jason to feast in until he inevitably withers away from eating nothing but emptiness. 

And Cass fears she is the only one who sees it. But Jason is a fool for thinking no one else understands. Is Cass not the unwanted daughter of a world-class assassin and the wanted weapon of a monster? Her first months in Gotham she did nothing but drive people away because she didn’t know any better. The only reason she has good people around her now is because there is something so irrefutably good about the Bats. Barbara never withdrew her hand even when Cass bit her literally and metaphorically. Bruce took her in without a second thought for her background. Tim tries his hardest to be a good brother to her even when he’s hurting. Steph and Dick didn’t blink twice at the half-feral, non-verbal, former assassin addition to their family. They bring their good cheer out for Cass even when she can tell it’s fake, and she can always tell. 

So why does Jason, who is hurting and so lonely that it hurts Cass to look at him, insist on pushing them away? 

[maleyanderecafe]

Dear Villainous Husband , the One to be Obsessed with is Over There (Webcomic)

Created by: Menanic

Genre: Isekai

I wish the translation for this one was a bit better, but I do think that there are a lot of fun things that I haven't seen as much in other isekai such as a tyrant that actually does seem fairly scary, another person besides the main character who has been isekaied into this world and the plot of trying to get back to the original body. The empress can also be sinister as the tyrant, though sadly it's not utilized as much as I would have hoped. As of writing this there are about 40 chapters out right now, and the yandere takes a while for him to kick in (like a long while).

The story starts out with the male lead, Lanius pretty much killing all of his sibling and his father from a young age because he was bored and wanted the title of king. Angelica, or Angie is chosen to be Lanius's empress, with Angie crying as she doesn't want to be killed considering she read the book before she isekaied. She wants to do her best to survive and run away. Angie asks Lanius why he chose to marry her of all people, with Lanius recounting that he had a whole wall of marriage candidates in which (to his eyes) looked the same, so he ended up throwing a knife, which landed in the portrait of Angie's eye. Initially, Angie is kind of bullied by the maids until she decides to bring in one of her own from her old hometown. The head maid, Jacques gets majorly angry after Angie tries to defend herself from the bullying, with us seeing that she's also the mother of the main love interest in the story, Sylvia, who is also being abused by Jacques. Afraid of what Lanius will do if he's too bored, Angie proposes a manhunt to sate Lanius's bloodlust, which works well, however Lanius states he will only do it if Angie participates as well. Angie agrees and starts training. While she prefers a bow and arrow as to not get to close to the opponent, Lanius also trains her on sword fighting as he wants her to survive. On the day of the manhunt, Lanius feeds Angie some sort of drug that makes her much more fearless and ruthless. She is able to finally kill the maid that bullied her thus ending the man hunt once and for all and bring Sylvia to work for her. Angie gets nightmares after about this event.

After a banquet where she flexes her authority as the empress, Angie decides to go to Tunia to find the original male lead, Eden a knight for the Templar. She does find him there and finds that he too is a transgressor, isekaing into the world similar to how she has. The two of them discusses the possibility of trying to go back to their original world before having to disperse as to not cause Lanius suspicions. Lanius does seem to catch on, visibly being more jealous when Angie and Eden talk, which forces to the two to send secret messages with each other. Angie and Eden discuss their escape plans together, with Angie preparing for escaping Lanius while the romance between Angie and Lanius grows stronger to the point where Lanius actually seems to like her instead of having her be just an interesting toy to him, with him bringing her to different places as sort of dates. Angie is starting to waver at the idea of going back home though as she feels there's nothing to go back to and that she is actually falling for Lanius as well. Lanius goes on a mission to kill a bunch of monsters, finding out that feeding the offspring their mother's corpse actually makes them loyal to him, and Eden during the fight also finds a special door that could relate to getting them back to their world, something that it seems only he can see. With Angie, she finds a book that is similar, with details that only she can read. Eden also decides to disguise himself as a butler at Angie's estate to gain more information and be able to communicate with Angie more easily. We learn that Sylvia still has a vendetta against Lanius, that the only way to get back to their old world is that Lanius has to die, something that Angie seems to struggle with coming to terms with. Angie ends up trying to start her escape plan by refusing to go with Lanius to the war and buying up an inn area to live in.

Like I said before, there are a lot of good concepts in this webcomic that are pretty interesting and well utilized (if only the translation weren't so bad). I feel with a lot of isekai plotlines, the villain characters or tyrant characters are not... that evil? They can be of course, and it can serve its purpose in the story, but I feel like with Lanius I can actually see why Angie would be so scared of him. His intro of killing his siblings and his father to attain the crown was really brutal, and the scenes after when trying to explain why he chose Angie in the first place and how he slyly threatens her does make me understand why Angie would be really wary around him. I do wish it continued to show more of it, maybe like killing off some employee he didn't like, but we do see him basically take control of an entire monster army and run like two man hunts, so there is at least something to it. I think it's also interesting that he's not a yandere right away, with him being more like a threatening psychopath instead. While I do like yanderes that are more upfront about their yandereness (just mostly because it's easier for me to write a recommendation on) I do think that waiting for the eventual development of feelings does help with Angie's dilemma of staying with him versus going back home, as his death is what will allow her and Eden to eventually go back. Speaking of Eden, it's very astonishing to me that there is so little isekai that have more than one character isekai into the same world. I feel like that has a lot of potential for good team ups, rivalries and various other arcs that I guess nobody wants to actually write about for isekais. I also think that the premise of Angie actually slowly developing some of Lanius's traits of being intimidating and seemingly heartless in some scenes (namely the witch hunt, the banquet and the inn at the end) were really fun too, even if the first time was induced by drugs. I really wished that it was something that showed up more often since I really do like that side of her and is a good corruption arc type thing when hanging out with Lanius.

Lanius starts out as a typical psychopath who only cares about what sick things entertain him, but it's done pretty well to showcase how terrifying he actually is. Besides the initial backstory of how he was able to rise to the throne, the fact that Angie was pretty much chosen out of chance and the fact that he is basically implies through the fact that he finds them so uninteresting that he can't recognize their faces that if she does something that he considers boring, he could just kill her. I'm not sure why he tries to help her out by feeding her the drug to make her more fearless, or even tries to train her but maybe it's to heighten his enjoyment (?) of watching the manhunt? I have no idea. I do think that Lanius eventually getting pretty possessive over Angie (especially when Eden shows up in the picture) and apparently in the webnovel, Lanius goes pretty yandere stockholm after he finds out that Angie tries to escape and pretty much confines her, which does sound very in character for someone like him. I also think it's a good way to drive tension when Angie does start falling for him and then finds out that the only way to really go back home is to have Lanius die. I feel kind of bad for Eden though since he does actually seem like he wants to go back, so that's going to be an issue for Angie even if she does want to stay.

I do think that this webcomic has a lot of good ideas, and it executes them at least somewhat decently. The only real problem I have with it is that I think Lanius could go even farther with being ruthless to his people and that the translation just isn't that good. If it follow the plot of the webnovel with Angie basically being imprisoned by Lanius, I think that would be really great too.

[waterfire1848]

Au where Zuko also is a prodigy + has white flames

Hello, anon!!

When Zuko is born, he's born as a powerful bender. Ozai is very happy to see a strong flame in his son and it keeps Zuko from being in danger of being killed. Zuko is allowed to be a normal kid for a few years (because Ozai knows an infant isn't going to firebend) and Ursa tries to raise him as best she can but Ozai is also pretty much there from the start which keeps Zuko from fully learning from his mom like he did in the show. Instead, Ozai raises Zuko and Azula to be mini versions of himself and since Zuko is also a prodigy now, Ozai has two weapons who want to earn his favor. Ursa, again, tries to do what she can for her children but there isn't much that can be done once Ozai gets his hooks in them. (Azula: Zuzu! Look what I learned! *Does a kata* Zuko: Yawn. I learned that move five weeks ago, Lala. And I got it down in one session. Azula: That's impossible! No one can master it that fast. Zuko: Well, I am father's oldest prodigy. The one who will be taking over for him one day. I think you are....Oh, how did that general put it? The spare. The forgotten child. Azula, angry: Yeah, well-have you learn the Flying Dragon move yet? Zuko:.....I'm going to very soon. Azula: I've already started. Zuko: I'll have it mastered by the end of the week. Azula: A move so complex even uncle struggled with it? I'm sure.)

When Lu Ten is killed and Ozai asks for the throne, Azulon orders him to kill Azula because Zuko is the older child, male, and a prodigy as well (Azula is powerful, yes, but Ursa and Ozai can always have another kid as far as Azulon is concerned since they already had two prodigies. The new child will just be a bit younger than their older brother. Nothing that would seriously hurt the family in the long run). Azula panics and flees to her mother, begging her for any kind of help. Ursa makes the same deal she does in canon but this time, since she did it for Azula and Ozai agreed to kill her, Azula starts to wonder if her father really is as amazing as she once believed him to be. She spends the next few years starting to doubt her father more and more but keeping quiet because she's not an idiot. There is no Agni Kai scene since Zuko never speaks out. Ozai raised him here. If anything, he would be congratulating the general on his plan. Rather, Ozai keeps both him and Azula around to train until they are 14 and 16 which is when Azula gets her blue fire and Zuko gets his white flames. (Zuko: White flames are better. Azula: Huh? That's interesting. I could have sworn blue fire burned hotter than white. Zuko: Just means you're going to burn out before me.)

Aang is still broken out of the ice by Katara and Azula is sent after them (because...again spare heir). Azula eventually catches up to them and pretty much partakes in Zuko's role in canon except she had the authority to throw Zhao off a boat. But, since Aang is constantly slipping through her fingers, Ozai takes her off of the mission and puts Zhao in charge. Azula, not wanting to fail in her first mission outside the Fire Nation, ignores her father's order to return home and follows the Avatar to the North Pole. Zhao still murders the moon (Azula: How did this man become an admiral?) and is then killed by the ocean spirit. Azula fails in getting the Avatar again but refuses to stop in her mission, making it clear to the team that she is still after them. Meanwhile, Ozai realizes Azula is not returning and sends Zuko after the Avatar and her. (Ozai: Azula is a failure. I have a task for you, my son. Capture the Avatar and your sister and bring them here. Do you understand? Zuko: I do, father.)

Zuko and Azula quickly start competing with one another to try and capture Aang. Zuko had more resources behind him since Ozai isn’t currently mad at him, but Azula has more experience fighting Aang (basically Zuko gets taken out by airbending and waterbending more than Azula does). Now, because both siblings trained under Ozai they’re both incredibly smart as well as powerful. Zuko knows Azula is going to get Mai and Ty Lee and decides to recruit Mai before Azula can get to her, so it becomes Azula and Ty Lee vs Mai and Zuko for who can capture Aang first. When Ba Sing Se comes around, both siblings have the idea to sneak in but while Azula and Ty Lee sneak in with the Kyoshi Warrior disguises, Zuko and Mai sneak in as refugees. In the upper ring with the Gaang, Azula believes she had the advantage and decides to act and capture Katara. Her plan is to use Katara as bait and then attack and capture Aang when he comes to free her. Meanwhile, Zuko and Mai are in the lower ring and make their way up to the upper ring while chatting which is when Mai realizes that the Zuko she knew is kinda gone. Zuko at 10 and Zuko at 16 are two very different people after 6 years under Ozai. She tries not to let it bother her but it’s very clear. Eventually, the final fight breaks out and ends with Azula aiming the lightning at Aang but Zuko, who refuses to let Azula win, takes the lightning blast and sends it back at her. The blast is strong enough to disorient everyone and knock Aang out, who is quickly captured by Zuko. He and Mai flee the city before they can be stopped leaving the Gaang without an Avatar (thankfully in a still standing Ba Sing Se) but with a captured Royal and acrobat.

Ozai isn’t happy. Zuko’s job was to bring Azula back but instead he just did half of his job. Zuko tries to argue that Azula is taken care of since she’s in enemy hands. (Zuko: I give her a week before they kill her for not giving up information. Ozai: I didn’t ask for the Earth Kingdom to kill her. I asked you to bring her back! Zuko: Father, please, I….I thought it would be a good idea for the war. Ozai: Explain. Zuko: Sozin’s Comet is coming soon but we haven’t been seeing a spike in morale- Ozai: You’re too concerned with regular soldiers, Zuko. Zuko: I know, but hear me out. How would citizens feel when they find out the enemy murdered the princess? The princess who was trying to save her nation from Ba Sing Se’s tyranny gave her life to defend the Fire Nation. Ozai:….Hmmmm. I will consider this. It’s not a horrible idea. You’re dismissed. Zuko: Thank you, father.) Meanwhile, Azula is very much alive and pissed at Zuko for abandoning her in the city. The Gaang knows they have to get Aang back if they want any shot at ending the war and, to do that, they have to get into the Fire Nation. Thankfully, they just so happen to know a familiar princess who knows the nation like the back of her hand. The Gaang make a deal with Azula and Ty Lee: they help them get into the Fire Nation in exchange for saving them from Earth Kingdom execution. Azula initially refuses, saying she doesn’t want to betray her father or her nation. However, it becomes clear to her that this might actually be a blessing, a way to return to the Fire Nation with the Avatar’s team, capture them all and stop the eclipse invasion: three birds with one stone. After talking to Ty Lee, Azula agrees and the five head off towards the Fire Nation.

[emmanuellececchi]

You are right. We don't hear, and we don't know much about training at all. Where it is done? How it is handle? So it is difficult to estimate if, yes or no, women were part of a regular training. I guess the way I saw it comes from the fact we never hear about any women anywhere near the army, or in any conversation. But, on the other hand as you pointed out, if it was something known and accepted, why would they speak about it?

As for Thèoden, would he even know about it? We don't know if he does visit and check on the army/eored training. It might not be his role and he could leave that to each commander/leader. Or, as you said, he might hear about it but might not want to intervene... or do not think it would ever come to use... Then maybe this is why he asks only for men (once again my brain overthinking something based on nothing XD).

As for Eomer, maybe it is the way it is written in the french version, or I mixed up both book and movie, but I always thought it wasn't something that he knew about his sister. And Gandalf talk as well let me think he had no idea of her desires... But I agree his main surprise in Pelennor was to find her here rahter than in Rohan.

But, on the other hand, if he knew she could fight and trained as such, why not understand her worries, her need? Maybe because he wants to protect her and avoid seeing her in battle. I am not trying to say Eomer is to blame or anything. I just wonder if Eomer was really knowledgeable about Eowyn's training and her capacity.

And don't worry, @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras, I always hope to have your opinion. I do not know as much as you on Rohan Lore and I was curious about your thoughts on everything, so thank you for sharing and showing other points here and there that I didn't see.

Finally, this from @dilettantefeminist

Who among the horse people will write the fic where the women of Rohan have a secret fight club and that is how they learned? 🤔

The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. SEowyn knew and had swear secret to not let anyone know. Now imagine, all the women of this club are here on the Pelennor field and they found Eowyn and they don't want the guys to know so they decide to take care of her and carry her, discreetly, letting other people think she's dead so that they can take care of her secretly (I am going out of control sorry). And then Imrahil arrives and wonders why those guys are not able to see she is alive, while actually they know and want to bring her somewhere else....

Anyway... who's going to write this for us? 😆

Defending the castle like a man...

I've just read this article : Defending the castle like a man: on belligerent medieval ladies.

One of my friend is practicing HEMA (historical european martial art) as well as forging. We speak often about it and I have many question, mostly because of my main character in my medieval romance. As in forging, strength is not all in fighting. Know how to do it and practicing is first and foremost (she is smaller and thinner than me. she can wield swords that I cannot lift).

She reads lots of things about medieval warfare and we have discussion about it, and more recently because of my main character in my medieval romance. She had send me this article. And while reading it, I thought about some of my mutuals and the quite recent discussion about Eowyn and Théoden. So this is for you : @torchwood-99 , @from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras , @konartiste. @errruvande I thought about you as there is a good reference about Alfred's daughter.

Reading this, I thought about Théoden. Rohan seems to have a certain history of female fighters. Shieldmaiden is not a name coming out of nowhere. So... what led Rohan to, seemingly, forget about this role? When did it happen?

In this article, there are a lot of example of women who did fight in war and defend their territory. It seems there are more and more proof of that. Even more, it seems women were actually expected to know at least how to defend their castle and lands. "Do as their husband do". So they had to know how to fight or at least strategies and siege... And some knew how to use bows, crossbows and even swords. Still, they had been, most of the time, erased or played down.

It is not said if this erasing was all along or more recent, as it is noted that those women of war were common up until the 14th centuries. In any case, they existed, but in later ages, it was inconvenient for men to have their female kin show "men's virtue".

Did something equivalent happened in Rohan? Why would something like this would happen? I would be the first to say "Oh it's all Saruman/Grima's fault". But no. Theoden do not think of sending Eowyn to war. He does not even have the reflex to think about her as a leader for his people. if it had been Grima and/or Saruman, he would have think about it.

Could it be his gondorian upbringing? After all he grew up in Gondor, had a gondorian mother? Thengel did not seem to held his countries culture in high regard. So, could it be this? Or even before that?

In my glèomenn fanfic, Tirwald said it was legends and old story. Could it be even older? Something more recent, linked to another culture?

So... What do you think?

[christ-with-a-why]

i got a puppy and she's obviously adorable but oh my god i'm exhausted

[saturnniidae]

I think Astrid Hofferson has a bad case of the 'my childhood was wasted, I grew up too fast for something ultimately proven pointless.' Syndrome and that she deserves to get to do silly things she missed out on and take up new hobbies, even if she's not particularly good at them–it's purely for the experience yknow, and learn to finally breathe no longer needing to be on constant high alert and get to be truly happy

[teecupangel]

I wasn't able to remind you guys that this poll was ending because we lost power OTL

Anyway, Altaïr won so this means Desmond will be a dragon fucker

So have the first two scenes (draft) as a 'preview' of how this fic is gonna start (if there's any mispelling or grammatic error, sorry, absolutely first draft XD)

The oldest memory that Desmond still clearly remembered was his father showing him his bearer-father’s portrait when he was very young.

Aita Bartholomew li Jupiter, third prince of the Isu Empire.

The last living child of the late Tinia Zeus li Jupiter before his death.

He died a year after Desmond was born, weakened by the stress that led to Desmond being born prematurely two months before he was supposed to.

Stress compounded by the news that the Isu Empire’s royal family had all been killed in a bloody coup by Juno Romania, distant cousin of Tinia Zeus li Jupiter.

She crowned herself empress and took the name Juno Hera vi Jupiter.

His father had been sparred because he was married off to King William Miles of the Monteriggioni Kingdom, a small kingdom west of the empire. What they lacked in lands, they made up with their location and resources.

They had a thriving economy due to being the main exporter of mana stones used for magical devices that non-magically inclined people could use and any invasion proved hard because of being at the center of a coiling mysterious mountain range called Dragontail Mountain Range.

Legend say that the mountain range coiling all around their kingdom for more than 600 kilometers was the tail of a powerful evil dragon that was vanquished millennias ago.

And their kingdom was built over the corpse of the dragon with their bountiful mana stone mines being blessed by dragon blood that had seeped through the very soil.

His bearer-father survived a bloody coup because he was lucky.

Yet he died while holding Desmond in his arms.

Having drunk poison mixed into his favorite tea one sunny afternoon.

And everyone pointed their finger at Empress Juno.

Empress Juno answered such rumors with sweet poison of her own.

“Why would I kill my dear sweet Aita when his only sin was being born of that wretched man’s loins? His death gains me nothing.”

“Perhaps the kingdom should look into who would gain from his death in their own peaceful land.”

“Ah. I know… why don’t I show how much I love my beloved Aita?”

“I’ll make his son the next emperor consort.”

.

His engagement to Loki Laufey vi Jupiter was engraved upon his future when he was barely a year old and he had never met the child that was to be his emperor and spouse since.

He knew his place.

He was to be a political hostage, given freedom by the mercy of Empress Juno to stay in the kingdom until he was ten years old.

Nine years filled with training and lessons.

To be the perfect ‘consort’.

“They will attack you if you are weak so you must be strong.”

“They will mock you if you are a fool so you must be intelligent.”

“They will use you if you do not see their schemes so you must be wise.”

“They will find faults so you must not have none.”

He met his father daily after his father had read his tutors and instructors’ reports.

Desmond had cried the first time his father was disappointed at him.

And he stopped crying in front of his father after his father told him that crying was a sign of weakness that he cannot ‘afford’.

He learned to apply makeup on his face to hide the dark lines under his eyes.

He learned to smile even as he felt nothing.

He learned to squeeze any pain he felt watching his cousin, Ezio Auditore, visit the palace every weekend to be taught the duties and responsibilities of the crown prince of their kingdom.

He learned to accept the fact that Ezio Auditore was the son King William wanted.

I just… would like to request some altdes monsterlovin’. Any type, any previous monster desmond thread, I just. Your writing is SO GOOD. I would deeply appreciate reading some miscellaneous monsterlovin’ if you’re up for sharing some

Well, you're in luck, nonny. I read a story that promised some dragon 'loving' and did not deliver so Imma write my own as part of the "Desmond's DeathDay Megaposting" this year. (this does mean you gotta wait for a month XD)

So I'm opening this to everyone XD

Yes, this means the other person is gonna be our monsterfucker XD

Just in case someone is curious, the story I read wasn't a fanfic but I'm not going to say more in case someone likes it (if you do, I'm happy that you found enjoyment in it)

[sanchoyo]

watching a lot of cooking videos lately (great for background noise while working) and just saw one where a cat hops on the KITCHEN COUNTER while the lady is cooking 🤢 that is disgusting do ppl rly let their animals up there!! that kitty has stepped in its litter box maam!!! or it could shed on that counter!!! and you're prepping food up there rn!! ew!!!