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lollytea · 4 years ago

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Fearless (part 2/3)

( PART ONE okokok some parts of this are pretty good. some not so good. but the important part is im tryin my goddamn best out here.)

[OCTOBER 22ND, 7:02PM] The sun had melted away beneath the distant hills and Louie had somewhat calmed himself down.

At least, he was no longer hyperventilating. The feathery tufts on his cheeks were not as fluffy as before, now clumped together from his waterworks earlier.

He lit the last of his lights, drawing the match away and allowed the head of the flame to seize its last moments. It danced with delight, flickering as it devoured the thin strand of poplar wood.

Louie watched it too long, finding solace in the glow of gentle orange. Just as it was teasing to taste his fingertips, he snuffed it out, not nearly as interested in the arising string of pale smoke. Seven illuminated oil lamps circled his room, washing him in warm, yellow light. But still, It would breed an array of shadows, outlining everything with subtle pools of gloom. Shadows made Louie uneasy. They gave him the strangest feeling that he was being watched. Reminded him of people and powers that were best not to think about. But a shadowy room was preferable to pitch black. He was scared of the dark. Come to think of it, he was scared of a lot of things. Louie had a complicated relationship with fear. He was, by no means, the skittish kid from five years ago. He simply couldn't live with that mindset for long when thrust into the life of McDuck royalty and all the madness and danger attached. So, he adapted. His busiest days tended to fall in the order of breakfast, adventure, magic, certain doom, barely escaping with your life and then sleep. Rinse and repeat. Living like that didn't phase him much anymore. How could it when he was surrounded by the most courageous family put on this earth? And when you continue to survive when that was your Day-to-Day, it had a tendency to boost your confidence. He had gotten braver for sure. Much braver. And yet, he couldn't help but feel like he was lying to himself sometimes. Being afraid of the world around him had never quite faded, he just gotten much better at handling it. Recent years made things all the more messy. His brothers weren't as brave as they used to be these days. Not after what they went through. As a spot of hope, Huey was starting to rebuild a stronger, improved version of his old self. But Dewey still needed time. It made Louie wonder if his intrepid brothers could be broken like this, should he even bother trying to toughen up? He had never been like them. Not naturally, at least. He didn't stand a chance when his time came. He figured that with all he's experienced, he should've at least developed past his more irrational fears. But he didn't. Deep down, silly stuff still unsettled him. Spiders, violence, surprises. The dark. Ty knew he was afraid of the dark. Ty knew most of the stuff he was afraid of. And despite teasing Louie for pretty much everything else, never his fears. He claimed his brother was the same so he didn't find it all that weird. Louie called bullshit on that one. From what little he knew about Ben, it was impossible to picture that guy being scared of the dark. Ty was most likely trying to ease his insecurity. It didn't work. He felt uncomfortable sometimes, being somebody scared of so much, being close with somebody like Ty. Fearless. It sorta made him wonder if he was inferior. As if standing alongside Ty just wasn't right. The balance didn't seem equal. Wow. Louie was never gonna be good enough, was he? Wait, no, stop it. Fucking stop it. He had no right to be feeling all sorry for himself for the probability that he wasn't good enough for Ty. On the grounds that he wasn't brave enough? No. Of course Louie wasn't good enough for Ty. That was an irrefutable fact. But what mattered right now was that his carelessness had almost gotten Ty killed today and he couldn't, in good conscience, be focusing on anything else. He almost got Ty killed. He almost got Ty killed. He almost got Ty killed. That was a little more important than "Boohoo, cute bear boy is never gonna kiss me. I'm sad." To make matters worse, Louie had gone and chosen the perfect time to figure out he was in love with Ty. Sure, It had left him happily dopey at the time. But now, after everything that happened, it was like his imaginary little love letter left a paper cut on his heart and splashed it with lemon juice. Ty was going to resign as his retainer. The more Louie said this to himself, the easier it would be to accept it when he received the news. It was truly possible Ty was currently out of his life for good. As much as Louie was trying to talk himself into hunting the boy down right this minute and begging for forgiveness, there was a part of him speculating that Ty would prefer not to see his stupid royal face ever again. It hurt. It really did hurt. But if that's what Ty wanted, Louie would silently abide by the request. He hated to admit it but the spineless side of him didn't want to face Ty either. The last look at him had been his still body laying on an iron bedstead in the castle infirmary. Beakley had assured the stricken Louie that Ty was not dead but refused to divulge the details as she ushered him out and exiled him to his room for the rest of the night. He needed to see Ty conscious. He needed to see him alive. It would be one weight off his chest just to know his retainer had bounced back. But also.....he didn't want to know the damage he'd done. He want to know how badly Ty had been wounded nor how close he had brushed by death. It had been Louie's fault. And he knew that. But the thought of confronting it head-on was a difficult reality to swallow. Even though he should. He should. Completely unrelated but another dumb, embarrassing thing that made him jump out of his skin? Sudden noises. Still completely unrelated but there was a knock at his door.

___________

[OCTOBER 22ND, 11:24AM]

The sky was clear, the autumn air wasn't chilly but pleasantly crisp and there was a lively gathering in the forest. It was held in a wide clearing, bursting with happy people, milling around and chatting. Surrounding them was an almost perfect circle of tangled old oaks, their branches wreathed with strings of homemade lanterns and flower garlands.

Ty and Louie were quick to turn on tunnel vision towards the table with a large arrangement of party food. They came away with armfuls of bread, cheese, fruits and two tankards of apple cider. They found a spot for themselves, hiding away behind a stack of bailed hay just on the outskirts of the festivities. They set up their little feast, which they wasted no time in devouring.

There were minstrels playing a vibrant tune. But even with all their flutes, fiddles and practice, they fell short in comparison to the natural music of Ty Cloudkicker's laughter. Louie was talking fast. He was gravitating into Ty's space as he did so, lured in by the bubbling sound. He was eager, grinning deliriously as he spouted out more and more of his story to keep the laugh from fading.

As if it was a lifeline. Like the back of his mind was utterly terrified it would stop. Yet he was entranced with a flood with endorphins, so enamored with the resonance that he couldn't help but be elated as he rattled on to keep himself alive. "Okay, so nobody specifically told Uncle Donald that keeping snacks in your crown was not considered "Kingly" behavior. But see, he just saw it as an extra pocket. He didn't get what the big deal was."

When Ty laughed hard enough, he started snorting. He attempted to control himself. Louie wished he wouldn't. "So imagine being one of those advisor buzzard dorks, right? And you're having this big, important royal audience with the new king. And then right in the middle of discussing warships or something, he reaches into his crown, (not breaking eye contact.) and starts munching on a fish sandwich. They looked at him like he just spat on their mothers' graves." The octave skyrocketed and Ty disintegrated into high pitched cackles, tightly clutching his side as if he would split in half. It swept away the narrative in Louie's head, fizzling the thought process as he continued to gaze at Ty as if he were channeling golden light. However, his brain did not send the memo to this mouth that it was time to stop talking. Which led to Louie stuttering out "And the--....He--...uh, he--,um...." a brainless smile slapped on his face all the while. He couldn't stop smiling. He was crashing and burning and he couldn't stop smiling. He was certain he would be humiliated over this blunder later but right now, it was pretty funny. Thankfully, his subconscious had mercy on him, cutting him off with a nervous, breathless giggle. Ty was oblivious to whatever kind of gay breakdown Louie was having as he was trying to regain composure from his own hysterics. He was beginning to calm down, occasional wheezy yet delighted noises still sputtering out of him. His shoulders relaxed and he leaned back with a shaky exhale, still stuck with that huge sunny smile. They fell into a silence in the aftermath, content to sit and just listen to the music. Ty picked up his cider and took a gulp. Louie mirrored him. Then Ty's entire frame bucked with a surprise hiccup and Louie nearly choked. He was pretty sure he saw his whole life flash before his eyes as he collapsed into a coughing fit, Ty thumping him firmly on the back. "I'll live, I'll live!" Louie gasped, regaining himself. "Stop hitting me, I bruise like a peach." "Sorry." He drew his hand away. Then he hiccuped again and Louie lost it. "It's not funny!" Ty insisted, a desperate crack to his voice. It was pretty hilarious, actually. Not just the ridiculous little noises, but the way his shoulders jumped and how he would blink in split second afterwards, startled and bewildered like a baby animal. Ty gave him a shove, Louie still snickering and flailing his hands to halfheartedly fend him off. "Hey, hey, what gives you the right to attack me? I nearly choked and died 'cause of you." "Sounds like a "you" problem." "Where'd those hiccups even come from? Your papa bear never teach you not to drink your cider so fast?" Ty's bottom lip jutted out, irritated. He shook his head "Nah, it's--" Hic. Louie snorted. "Shut up!" He snapped. Yeah, his face was definitely a darker shade of pink than usual. "Sometimes I get hiccups if I laugh too much." "Huh. that's a thing that can happen?" "Yeah. A thing I gotta live with." Hic. "Lemme guess, this hasn't happened in a while?" "Huh?" Ty turned to him, perplexed. "Nah, it happens all the time. And when I tell ya it's the most annoying thing--" "You can't be serious." Louie smiled with a disbelieving shake of the head. "You, like, barely laugh anymore." "What's that supposed to mean?" "What?" He shrugged. "You don't." Ty rolled his eyes and directed his vision elsewhere. "I usually do whenever I go back to the glen." "Are Ben and Lottie really that funny?" "They are the least funny people I know. Also they suck and they're cheaters and I hate them." Hic. Let's see. So, he was clearly pouting. Acting all petty about his siblings. The Glen. Laughing to the point of hiccups. "Lots of tickle fights, huh?" Louie deduced, a smirk playing across his beak. Ty considered him for a moment, as if he was thinking about decking him right then and there but ultimately decided it wasn't worth the effort. (Louie was offended.) He then looked off into the distance, an indescribably haunted look in his eye. "Soooo....I'm gonna guess you usually lose the tickle fi--?" "I do not!" Ty abruptly yelled, shooting him an indignant look. "Let's get this straight, if it's one-on-one, I win. I always win. You better not forget that, your highness." He jabbed Louie's chest with his forefinger. "I'm the best fighter out of the three of us. In fact, I probably got the potential to be the best fighter in the whole kingdom!" "Real modest." "It's just if they team up, then it's unfair! That's why they're--" Hic. Louie watched, delightfully entertained as Ty hissed "God. Damn. Hiccups." "And how often do they team up?" He didn't answer right away. Then reluctantly grumbled "Most of the time." "So what I'm hearing is--...." Louie casually leaned against Ty's side, propping his elbow on the latter's shoulder. "You do lose most of the time?" "Shut up." "No." "Okay, so here's the thing. Let's say you're a big, strong brave knight. You're super cool and heroic and everybody respects you." Hic. "Then you go back home and then suddenly you're just someone else's baby brother and they see you just standing there, minding your business and they're just like "Well! Guess I gotta obliterate him!" And they do not hold back." "Ohhhhh, I get that, I totally get that." Said Louie. "Well, not the brave knight part. But y'know. Me and my brothers had to share a room. It was tiny. There was always a foot in your face or whatever. And sometimes when were bored, they started getting rowdy and throwing hands and it's not like I asked but I got dragged in too. When I was just trying to sleep, man! I wasn't asking for a spontaneous duel at 2am." Ty snorted. "Oh yeah, and sometimes Dewey calls me a little bitch." "He's right." Louie knocked his body against Ty's, making a sound of faux outrage. Ty only found that funnier. Huffing, Louie pawed around for the cluster of grapes at his side. He twisted one free and twirled it around his fingers for a moment. "Watch this. I can feel it. I'm gonna do it this time." "Are you now?" Said Ty in such a distinctly pleasant tone that Louie could not possibly interpret it any other way than "I do not believe that but I'm humoring you but I also want you to understand that my sweet voice is oh, so bitterly sarcastic. Fuck you." "I see you're doubting me." "Me? Doubt my liege? I could never." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a real court jester. Now shut up and observe." Louie wiped all expression from his face and inhaled deeply to obtain peak tranquility. He relaxed his whole frame. If he could pull this off, this would be his day for sure. Ty was watching. This moment would define his life. Thinking a hasty prayer to every known God, force and entity that had ever favored the unlikely ones, he tossed the grape in the air, threw his head back and opened his beak. The grape finished rising and gravity took control. It fell. Down, down, down, down. Louie now understood the concept of meditation. He was so in the zone, he could've sworn the grape was descending in slow motion. Yes, yes, it was aligning directly below his beak. He was gonna catch it! Down, down, down, down. Then Ty snatched it right out of the air and swallowed it whole. Louie sat, slack jawed, attempting to process what had just happened. He slowly turned to Ty, completely blank. Huh. That moment really did define his life. "You bastard!" He squawked. "Me bastard!" Ty exclaimed, looking insufferably proud of himself. "How could you?! I know our allyship has been complicated but this is high treason!" "Sorry, sorry, I just--" He sat back a little, shaking with silent laughter. He then formed a square with his hands and hovered it before Louie, squinting one eye. "I just needed to see the face you would make and god, it was worth it. You think you could hold that face for a few hours to get a portrait made? I'd get it framed and hang it in my room." He was teasing him. Louie knew he was teasing him. And yet he still blushed bright red from the fragment of fondness blurred in the implication. "W-well, well I would--I'd--" He floundered, racking his brain for a retort. "You think there's any musical instruments that could replicate your dorky little hiccups? I'd hire minstrels just to have them play it for me! Y'know, for when I need a laugh." Ty's smug grin dropped and his eyes flicked about uncertainly. "I--..." He dragged the word out, face flushing at a rapid rate as he folded his knees up to curl in on himself. He crossed his arms. "I think they're gone now anyway." He mumbled. Hic. God, that never got old. "If you laugh one more time, I'm putting you in a tree and leaving you there." Louie laughed again, out of spite. "Nobody's fault but your own. Imagine you've just fought an epic battle and you think there's no more enemies to take on. But as soon as you say that out loud, boom! Second ambush! You would think a warrior like you would get that." "Your highness?" "Yeah?" "Shut your huge mouth." "No." "Okay. Dunno why I thought that would work. Never does." "Y'know I would offer to spook your hiccups away. But we both know that wouldn't work." "Yeah, probably not." Said Ty with a shake of his head. He perked up a bit. "Lottie gave it a shot once. Nothing." "Well, it's just like you said that one time." Louie shrugged, then faltered when the back of his mind took notice of the dimly glowing orange irises he was met with. His voice softened involuntarily. "You're fearless." He didn't know what he said wrong. Ty's face fell. He looked so utterly devastated that Louie, completely lost to why he was even upset, felt his own heart shatter to pieces. He wanted to start sobbing just from seeing him. "Oh..." Ty whispered. He clutched one of his hands with the other and began fidgeting with his fingers. "Well, see. Uh, the thing about that is--...." Concerned, Louie scooched in closer, peering at the face that had once again turned away from him. He hesitantly touched Ty's upper arm. "Hey. Ty. Are you--?" "HEY, LOOK AT THAT!" Ty blurted out, his voice nervously rising in pitch. He attempted to subtly clear his throat. Louie followed the direction of Ty's pointer finger which was gesturing out to the thick expanse of forestry. There was nothing there. But then he caught a flash of movement and noticed two figures tucked away in the shadows of the trees. A young man and woman, probably only a few years older than them. "The couple?" Louie asked, puzzled. "The what now?" Then Ty did a double take, then snapped to attention as if he had just noticed them. "Oh! Oh, yeah, them, sure. I mean, yeah, that's what I meant. Them. Uhhh....look at them!" "Uh. Okay? Why?" "Theeeyyyy're....cute? Gross? They're something. They're definitely something." Louie hummed, taking the two into consideration. The girl was letting out a peal of laughter and the guy was blabbing away animatedly, looking thrilled with himself that she was finding him funny. He was trying so hard.... Louie didn't know if he wanted to gag or coo out an "aww!" "Grossly cute." He decided. Ty snapped his fingers. "That's it!" "You know, I don't get why they're over there. There's tons of people around here. Why would you wanna show up to a party if you're just gonna hide away and hang out with one person the whole time?" "For real though." For the next few minutes, Ty and Louie observed the couple, keeping up a running commentary on the guy's obvious nerves and the girl's less than subtle advances. Ty and Louie learned a lot about themselves in those few minutes. Namely that they were both terrible at lip reading. "He said Pants." Ty was certain. "No, he said Nance." Louie countered. "Her name is probably Nancy." The girl clapped her hands together, nodding eagerly. "Then what's that for, huh? Clearly he just offered to tailor her a personalized pair of pants." "You are so dumb, that's not what's happening here at all." The guy took a dramatic step back and twirled his wrist an unnecessary amount of times before offering her his hand with a half-bow. She took it, giggling. The two them scampered off, out of the shadows and into the heart of the party, where other couples were twirling around as the minstrels played. He curled an arm around her waist, smiling as though this was his greatest honor and they spun into the motion, flowing so naturally amidst the other dancers as if they were simply another cogwheel in the world's most elegant clock. "Dance." Said Ty and Louie in unison. "Pretty sure we were close." "Pretty sure we're idiots." "Yeah, I know but just let me pretend." Ty suddenly snickered, his eyes glinting. "What was that thing he did with his hand anyway? And why did she eat it up?" "It's called flair, Tiberius." "Kinda dumb." "You're just mad that flair is not something you possess." "Bullshit, watch this!" Ty sat up straight and bent his arm into a perfect ninety-degree angle. "Prepare to be amazed." And then his entire forearm began to spin and spin and spin and spin and spin like a windmill in a hurricane. "Flair, flair, flair, flair," He was chanting and Louie had already collapsed in a giggle fit. It wasn't even remotely funny. It was dumb, it was so dumb. But Louie could admit to himself that dumb schticks get like ninety percent more humorous to him if there's a really cute boy performing them. He was easy like that. Ty was extremely committed to the joke as he kept spinning and spinning for over ten seconds. He kept shooting Louie glances and his grin got wider and wider every time he looked away. "FLAIR!" He let his arm go, throwing out an open palm and nearly knocked it against the side of Louie's head. "Hey!" He dodged. "Watch where you swing that thing, you could've whacked me!" "But I didn't!" Said Ty gleefully. He lowered his hand but did not withdraw. It remained unwavering and offered out to Louie. He took it. He didn't think, he just took it. It was only when they made contact that Louie woke up and his heart promptly spiked. But besides a light blush, he managed to keep his face neutral. "So, I guess it's not just that girl who's impressed by this stuff." Ty was nonchalant. His smile then twitched, as if aching to stretch wider but he was reigning it in. "You are too." They were still touching, which, by all accounts, should continue to fluster Louie. But as seconds ticked by, a sense of calm was settling over him. The very thing originally causing panic was now bringing him comfort. It was the weirdest thing, "I was laughing at you, not with you." He said evenly, catching Ty's contagious smile. "Ehh," He shrugged. "I'll take it." Louie would count this as a new domain for sure. Uncharted waters. As if he and Ty had stumbled in accidentally but now they were here, their curiosity was urging them to explore. Not to a dangerous extent, of course. But maybe just edge along the sidelines and see what they could discover. "Your hands are so tiny, it's crazy." Ty commented, tilting his head. Turning it over, he slid his thumb thoughtfully across Louie's palm. "How do you even hold anything?" Louie wasn't even eyeing their hands but was regarding Ty's pensive face. "It's kinda the worst. Whenever we find treasure and I get my cut, the fancy rings and bracelets are huge. I always gotta go to a jeweler and get them resized if I wanna wear them."' Ty was fiddling with Louie's fingers now, fixing him with a decisive nod. "I'll get you a ring for Christmas." "Woah, woah. For real?" "Yeah. I'll put it in one of those fancy boxes. But then you'll open it and see it's made out of grass and try to have me beheaded." As they were speaking, their hands continued to play around. Ty had flattened his own, aligning his palm against Louie's. Louie spread his fingers and Ty laced his through. "Uncle Donald says I'm not allowed to say "Off with his head" anymore or I'm grounded 'til I'm thirty-five. It "makes the people want to revolt."" Louie air-quoted with his free hand. "But I would fire you for sure." Ty snorted. "You would not and you know it." There would never be any proof that they held hands that day. Not a single eye witnesses, including themselves, as both boys had turned a blind eye to their own actions. They were afraid to look down, as that would be an acknowledgement. Louie had no mental image of the moment, fuschia fur intertwined with snow feathers, only a rush of heat and a hazy ponder if the dampness was his sweat or Ty's. And if the feel of Ty's touch was just an illusion of the mind, there was one poignant hint of the reality and that was how gentle their voices had gotten. "Oh, so, you're really gonna test me like that, Tiberius? Pushing me around, stealing grapes, calling me a little bitch. Is this any way to treat your liege? You don't think I'm at the end of my rope with you?" "Nahhhh...." Ty drew the word out, grinning. He twisted his muzzle into an exaggerated pout and batted his eyes. "You would never because I'm awesome and cool and smart and you love me." It was Ty's utter nerve that left Louie too astonished to even blush. Instead, he simply tilted his head, an eyebrow cocked. "Do I?" He challenged. To his credit, Ty did not relent either. However, the impishness gradually died from his eyes until he was left solemn. "Maybe?" He spoke softly, as though too much force would crack the delicate little word. He bore into Louie's eyes, like he was searching for an answer. Pleading for an answer. Louie felt his own hand squeeze Ty's. He inhaled. He knew he was going to say something, he was just leaving it up his own scattered subconscious to determine what. He would open his beak and whatever words wound up tumbling out would seal his fate. He didn't have a second to panic, to fret, as he was already speaking and he was petrified by how fast this was all going. "I--" Something shattered and a woman screamed in pain. Indistinct shouting and Ty cursed under his breath. Louie scrambled around to see the commotion and the last few things he registered were the gleam of sunlight catching unsheathed weapons, the girl he called Nancy with crimson pooling from her forehead, Ty demanding "Get down!" and knocking him stomach-down into the ground.

“Stay there and don’t move.” Then Ty had rushed off and everything went to shit.

___________

[OCTOBER 22ND, 7:13PM] Louie was well acquainted with that knock. Firstly, one firm rap against wood, proceeded by two more rapid-fire. He associated it with a twinge of annoyance, high sun beams streaking in his window and somebody near, dear and insufferable to his heart, pestering him from the other side to rise and shine already or his breakfast would go stale. This usually occurred around 9:30AM. If given a say in the matter, Louie would sleep til noon. But he didn't have a say in the matter because every morning, without fail, there was a retainer banging down his door. Something was off this time. Once he knocked, Ty had fallen uncharacteristically silent. No continuation of drumming out an obnoxious little tune and and no insisting he open up. Louie was hesitant to do much of anything. It seemed his door was the only thing protecting him from facing repercussions right now. If he fell deep enough into denial, he could pretend Ty wasn't there. So long as he kept his door shut, he could pretend everything was alright. Ty didn't almost die. It was a tempting thought. It resounded in such an appealing voice inside his head that Louie seized his latch before he could give in. The brass shocked a chill to the pads of his fingers as he held on tight. He had to open up. He had to. His hand fidgeted, stalling the moment. He thumped his forehead against the door, heaving a steadying sigh. "You don't wanna see me, do you, your highness?" He heard Ty say in hushed tones, his voice startlingly close to where Louie had situated himself. "Ehh, if we're being honest....not really." "Oh...." "Do you wanna see me?" "I mean....I kinda don't? The idea of seeing you right now is making me nauseous." The statement skewered Louie's heart. He shook it off. "Why'd you knock?" "'Cause it doesn't matter what I want, I gotta see you right now. It's important." An prolonged pause hung in the air, buzzing with a mutual uncertainty. Louie tapped his fingers to the wood and after a second or two, Ty did the same. Their respective rhythms aligned. "But..." Ty continued, his voice faltering. "If you don't wanna see me, I can go--" "Convince me." Louie was blurting out before he thought twice about it. "Huh?" "I need to open this door but, like surprise surprise, I'm scared. You've done it before. I get scared and you talk me into stuff. Do your big strong hero magic and get me to suck it up. Please, I need it." "Oh, uh, I--" He could hear how flustered Ty had gotten suddenly being put on the spot. "Well, I--...I guess you don't have a choice 'cause if you don't open up, I'm strong enough to barricade the door down. So, I figure we should just do this the easy way." Despite the circumstances and the scruple wrung tense in his stomach, Louie felt the corner of his beak twitch at the tentative touch to Ty's tone. He felt his stiff shoulders relax. "Is that a threat, Tiberius?" "Uh, no." Ty admitted, sounding sheepish. "That was just a joke. See, it was the first thing that came into my head and then suddenly I was saying it. Sorry, I dunno for sure if now is "joke time" and I figured it'd be kinda weird to ask so--" He didn't get to finish rambling. His hair whipped to the side with the rush of air that came with the swift swing of the door. Louie fixed him with a hard look, processing the sight of his retainer standing there, alive and bright eyed. Ty's hand was still hovering awkwardly in the air, where he assumed it had been resting against the door. He blinked back at him, puzzled and a little alarmed, as if caught under a spotlight. He didn't look angry. But Louie knew better than to lull himself into thinking he was in the clear. Whatever resentment Ty was feeling would spill out in time. Louie braced himself. "Hey, Ty." He said stiffly. "Come on in."

#ty cloudkicker #fairytale au

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bltngames · 4 years ago

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The Balan Wonderworld demo came out yesterday. If you haven’t been keeping up with this, it’s a game by Yuji Naka and Naoto Ohshima, two of the original creators of Sonic the Hedgehog. A lot of that original team has gone on to do solo work outside of Sega, but this is the first time two former members of Sonic Team have gotten back together to make a new game.

If the demo is anything to go by, Balan Wonderworld (which I keep trying to type as “Balan Wonderland,” because it has a much nicer rhythm to it) is a game that lives deep in the shadow of NiGHTS into Dreams and Sonic the Hedgehog. It is very clearly trying to be an “Old School Sonic Team” experience, which it... sort of succeeds at, for better and worse.

This feels like a game they ripped straight out of 1995, warts and all, and remastered it with modern-ish graphics. I say “modern-ish” because in broad strokes, I think Balan looks pretty good. The character designs are charming, the level themes are interesting, but if you really stop and look at the game, it’s honestly pretty ugly, with simple lighting, limited detail and blurry textures.

One gets the impression maybe that’s because Balan is on everything -- Playstation, Xbox, PC, and even Switch. The gross texture work could be to squeeze the game down for Nintendo’s handheld, but apparently it runs extremely poorly there. On the PS4 Pro, it sticks pretty closely to 60fps, though there are occasionally hiccups here and there. Nothing worth fretting over, honestly.

But how does it play?

This is where the shadow of Sonic the Hedgehog looms large. Balan is designed to be simplistic to a fault: You get one button to control your character. Or, more specifically, every button on your controller will do the same thing (for the most part). This is right out of the Sonic handbook, as that game was also designed to be operable with only one button, as well.

Now, what your one button does can change. Scattered around levels are different costumes for your character to put on, and each costume has its own unique ability. The full version of Balan promises 80 different costumes, and there’s probably half a dozen in the demo. Each one serves a unique purpose, and some of them don’t even have the ability to jump. Which is fine, mostly, because you can carry a stock of three costumes with you that you can swap between sort of like the team mechanics in Sonic Heroes. Once you finish a level, those costumes get added to your dressing room, allowing you to customize a loadout of costumes at any checkpoint.

On paper, that much sounds fine. But this is where things start getting weird.

Costumes are not freely available to pick up. The jewels that hold costumes are locked with a key. This creates an obvious gameplay loop: find key, unlock costume, use costume to solve puzzle, right? Right.

Except that, at least in the demo, most keys are only a few feet away from any given costume jewel. On top of that, keys respawn. Crack open a costume jewel, grab the costume, but hang out for a little while and eventually the key will reappear. In doing this, you can stock up on keys early on in a level, smoothing out the process of acquiring new costumes as you go. I’m not sure why Balan does this. The time between key respawns is a few seconds too many -- just enough that it starts to feel tedious. But, as far as I can tell, there is no penalty for farming up a bunch of keys from the first key spawn point, either. It’s the worst of both worlds. If it was trying to be convenient, keys would spawn more quickly, but if it was trying to plan puzzles around acquiring keys, you can completely side step that by just waiting it out and hoarding keys early on.

You’ll not only want to hoard keys, but hoard costumes, as well. If you’re unlucky enough to take damage or even die while wearing a costume, it’s gone. You can build up stocks of costumes so you’ll always have spares to pull out of the dressing room, but that requires you to specifically go out of your way to get duplicates and bank them. If you don’t, you might find yourself at a puzzle that requires a specific costume that you simply don’t have anymore. When that happens, your only recourse is to backtrack in the hopes of finding a crystal that contains the costume you need, and characters in Balan aren’t exactly fast moving.

The chances of you losing a costume seem pretty low, admittedly. Balan Wonderworld doesn’t really seem like it’s aiming for anything resembling difficulty. Enemies exist, but only in very small numbers, and they’re easily dispatched. Most of the game is more about exploring the dream-like environments and playing around with the various costume abilities in order to solve basic puzzles.

You aren’t working against a clock, there isn’t a scoring system, and you usually aren’t being graded on your performance. Talking it over with some others, the vibe is that this could be a good game for young children. It requires little in terms of controller dexterity and is generous in every sense of the word.

The primary complaint against that, I guess, is that Balan Wonderworld is a weird game. Like, “Elsa and Spider-man Finger Family Youtube Video” weird. Every level is packed full of gently dancing ghosts that phase out of existence once you get too close to them. They’re all the creatures your costumes are based on, but they don’t exist as NPCs in the world for you to touch and interact with. Like I said, they’re ghosts, and they disappear the moment you get within a few feet. Those same ghosts will suddenly materialize when you touch certain checkpoints, throwing you something of parade. They interrupt the level music and everything just to play their own special celebration song. Move more than a few feet and they will fade back out of existence again, taking their special parade song with them, never to be seen for the rest of the stage.

It lends a strangely “uncanny” feeling to the game. I think the dancing characters are meant to add a sense of carefree fun, but they look like people wearing mascot suits, doing the same basic scripted routine over, and over, and over, for eternity. They don’t look like they’re having fun, they don’t appear to be choreographed to the stage’s music, and yet there they are, eternally dancing the days away. It’s kind of eerie. They were performing before you got here, and they'll keep performing after you leave.

The demo pits you against a single boss, which is notable for being someone who has the same powers you do, but combined and amped up. Seeing the same costume motifs come up in the boss as they draw from the same abilities that you have is actually a really fun idea, and the game rewards you for getting creative and swapping between costumes when you deal damage.

Balan Wonderland is a very odd game, and I’m not sure what to make of it. It took me a while to start wrapping my head around its aesthetic and vibes. It contains shades of something like Super Mario Odyssey to be sure, but it feels like it’s trying to elevate itself above that. Again, it’s a game living deep in the shadow of NiGHTS and Sonic, and in particular, it feels like it borrows NiGHTS’ penchant for putting artistic expression at the top ladder rung. Balan often feels like a very inscrutable sort of game, but in a way that seems to be reaching for some kind of greater meaning beyond simply gameplay. Everything in Balan feels like it might be conveying a message of some sort, even if it’s not immediately apparent. Its ideas do not come from a vacuum.

But here’s the deal: even though a lot of people couldn’t grok NiGHTS into Dreams, I did. I love that game to death. But with Balan Wonderworld, even I’m often left scratching my head. Despite its dead-simple gameplay, it may be just a little too high concept for its own good.

But at the end of the day, it’s not a game I hate. It’s strange, and charming, and even if it feels sort of impenetrably "artistic," at least that makes it interesting. The simple gameplay works its magic, making it an easy game to drop in to even if you don’t necessarily understand what you’re looking at.

Like, what’s the deal with the “Isle o’ Tims” between levels? It kind of has the vibe of a chao garden from Sonic Adventure, but the individual “tims” creatures don’t seem to have statistics or anything like that. You feed them so they crank a wheel, which builds a tower that helps them crank the wheel better. It turns in to a bizarre sort of perpetual motion machine. To what end? I don’t know. And what exactly is Balan himself, anyway? Some of his visual cues call to mind character designs for NiGHTS, but he appears to be a different sort of creature altogether. There’s a rather lengthy intro FMV, as you can no doubt see from the Youtube embed, but it’s more about swirling colors and hyperactive animation than conveying what’s going on or who Balan is. How much of this is even really happening, and how much of it is purely metaphysical? It’s very unclear.

I’ll be interested in seeing how the full version of Balan Wonderworld fares. I get the distinct impression that this will be another NiGHTS -- a game beloved by a core audience of hardcore fans, but shunned for being “too weird” by the populace at large.

I’m not quite sure which group I belong to yet.

#balan wonderworld #square-enix #arzest #yuji naka #naoto ohshima #NiGHTS into Dreams #Sonic the Hedgehog #demo #Playstation #video #writing #preview

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aion-rsa · 3 years ago

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How Alias Anticipated Modern Superhero Storytelling

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J.J. Abrams’ spy drama Alias, which turns 20 this week, was a lot of things: high-octane action-adventure series, twentysomethings relationship drama, occasional National Treasure homage. It was also, surprisingly, a spiritual predecessor to today’s hyper-saturated superhero movie and TV universes: A preternaturally gifted fighter, Sydney Bristow (Jennifer Garner) inhabits comic-book-esque alter egos to infiltrate secret missions related to ancient artifacts and promised immortality, all while ensuring that her nearest and dearest don’t know how many times she’s saved the world—or which side she’s really on.

Like the series’ MacGuffin-generating Nostradamus figure Milo Rambaldi, Alias has proven to be somewhat prophetic itself about what makes for the kinds of superhero stories that land today. With some 20th-anniversary hindsight, let’s look back at what made Sydney’s story so super and what lessons Abrams’ ridiculous(ly fun) series can still impart to the current crop of superhero sagas.

The Secret Identity as Kiss of Death

The highest priority that spies and superheroes share is that they cannot get made—that is, have their identity as a larger-than-life individual linked to their “normal” selves. They must always keep their personal and professional personas separate, lest they risk losing the people who know both sides of them. Alias establishes this difficult lesson in the first half hour of the pilot, when Sydney reveals her true work (she thinks SD-6 is just a covert branch of the CIA) to doctor fiancé Danny, only for him to blab about it later and get bloodily taken out in their bathtub. It’s the first time that SD-6 treats its sweet protégée harshly, making clear the consequences of her actions should she open up to anyone else in her life. And then she defects to the CIA, which will be a death sentence for her if SD-6 ever finds out.

Yet beyond the specter of grisly assassination, what the series really digs into is Syd’s growing ethical dilemma about being a double agent where it concerns the actually good people at SD-6, primarily her longtime partner Dixon (Carl Lumbly) and sweetly awkward Q stand-in Marshall (Kevin Weisman). It would be too easy if the series were only about her getting long-game revenge on SD-6 director Arvin Sloane (Ron Rifkin); the real conflict comes from Sydney lying to Dixon’s face on every stakeout, knowing that he still thinks he’s working for the good guys and she can’t ruin that fantasy for him without potentially turning him into collateral damage.

Similarly, the moments in which Sydney’s two (or three) lives begin to collide have other heartbreaking consequences: While the scene in which her best friend Will (Bradley Cooper cast as the friendzoned buddy, amazing) gets kidnapped and sees Syd saving him, is one of the decade’s best laugh-out-loud moments, it also leads to Will going into the Witness Protection Program. His life ends, in a sense, because Sydney couldn’t keep everything compartmentalized. And we haven’t even gotten to the awful fate that befalls her best friend Francie (Merrin Dungey)…

What Alias Predicted: The beating heart (or arc reactor) of many a superhero story is this tension between selves—which means that the big reveal of a secret identity has to be carefully timed and deliberately presented. It’s as emotional as Peter Parker’s (Tobey Maguire) mask getting ripped away when he saves the subway car of people in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2, as big as Spider-Man: Far From Home doxxing that Peter Parker (Tom Holland) in a commentary on fake news, or as pure and simple as Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) outing himself as Iron Man in the very first installment of the MCU. You cannot unring that bell, so it better be a memorable moment.

What Superhero Stories Can Still Learn: Rev the secret identity stakes back up! Captain America: Civil War ably took on the game-changing Marvel Comics arc of the same name by having heroes collectively unmask, and movies like Spider-Man: Far From Home are still playing out those ramifications. But mostly we see the dangerous ramifications of heroes doxxing themselves, without really digging into the strain for heroes to constantly have to lie about the things that truly matter to them.

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Campy Disguises and Clever Aliases

If you’ve watched Alias or were even vaguely aware of it, no doubt the first thing you envision is Sydney in black leather and bright red hair, a.k.a. her iconic look from the pilot. Her non-SD-6-sanctioned, under-the-radar disguise (impersonating Will’s sister) displays her ingenuity and establishes the series’ brand: attention-grabbing hair paired with increasingly ridiculous outfits, from chain mail waitress ensembles to rubber dresses. She’s played punks, rich bimbos, alluring businesswomen, escorts, and all manner of female personas upon which her marks would project their assumptions—all of which belied her true strength and cunning.

Even when future episodes riffed on the color wheel with teal, magenta, purple, and good old-fashioned blonde wigs, it was still within a clear spectrum established on that pivotal mission, when she channels a silly girl who cares more about the color of her hair than her safety, only to pin her torturer with the same chair to which she’s bound.

What Alias Predicted: I would hazard a guess that Natasha Romanoff’s first appearance in 2012’s The Avengers—a seemingly helpless redhead tied to a chair, about to be nastily interrogated—was a nod toward Sydney’s triumphant pilot mission. What’s more, despite the first ten years of the MCU leaning toward sleek costumes, later phases (like WandaVision‘s cheeky Halloween callbacks) have realized that they can embrace the bold colors and campy designs of the comic-book source material.

What Superhero Stories Can Still Learn: Better to lean into the bold colors and campy designs of the comic-book source material than to go for more sleek and cool. WandaVision did this, albeit cheekily and using the excuse of Halloween, but the nod toward Scarlet Witch’s original outfit was well received. Because any superhero can look cool in leather, but only the standouts can rock color.

Rambaldi Artifacts, Immortality, and Clones

While replicating the romantic dramas of Felicity, Abrams was also playing with early iterations of his signature “puzzle box” narrative style: The pilot has Sydney chasing after the mysterious Mueller device, which turns out to be… a floating red ball… which bursts into water the moment she tries to remove it. That head-scratcher of a device is only one of many inventions belonging to Milo Rambaldi, a fictional Renaissance-era philosopher whose sketches and writings all pointed toward the ultimate endgame: immortality. You know, just normal spy thriller things.

The series saw Sydney and co. chasing after all manner of Rambaldi MacGuffins, from a clock to a kaleidoscope to a music box to flowers that either demonstrated proof of eternal life (by never wilting) or amped up human aggression. Through all of this, it becomes clear that Sloane helped found SD-6 in order to collect all of Rambaldi’s artifacts and capture immortality for himself—even and especially at the cost of people like his daughter, Sydney’s half-sister Nadia Santos (Mía Maestro).

Before we get more into Rambaldi’s prophecies about the sisters, we can’t forget the parallel fever dream of the series: clones! Or, rather, secret agents genetically modified to look like anyone—which means everyone is a suspect. This constant paranoia quickly got out of hand on the series, but its first reveal was perfect TV drama: There’s not an Alias fan who doesn’t remember “Francie doesn’t like coffee ice cream” and the complete devastation that followed—the knock-down, drag-out fight that destroyed Sydney’s apartment just as badly as Danny’s death, but also Sydney’s heartbreak upon realizing that her best friend was already long dead.

What Alias Predicted: The Infinity Stones themselves are less interesting than in various superheroes’ personal connections to them: Loki (Tom Hiddleston) tempted by the tesseract in Thor: Ragnarok; Star Lord (Chris Pratt) and the Guardians of the Galaxy channeling their friendship to withstand the effects of the Power Stone; Wanda Maximoff’s (Elizabeth Olsen) stages of grief as she copes with trying to keep the memory of Vision (Paul Bettany) alive even without the Mind Stone. In short: grounding the most out-there plotlines in the personal ensures they will always land.

What Superhero Stories Can Still Learn: Ground the most bonkers of plotlines in the personal, and they’ll always land.

The Chosen One and the Passenger

This is when the Rambaldi business started getting less National Treasure levels of charming and more outright weird. Turns out the team wasn’t just recovering a treasure trove of artifacts, but also Rambaldi’s prophetic writings—including the mysterious “Page 47,” which featured a drawing of a woman known as the Chosen One… who bears quite the resemblance to Sydney herself. That would be easy enough to dismiss as a strange doppelgänger coincidence, but then comes the reveal of “Project Christmas”: When Syd discovers that she didn’t just stumble into the spy life on her own, but was actually trained as a sleeper agent from childhood, it only amplifies her fears that she has no true agency over her life.

Further Rambaldi writings center Sydney and Nadia into predestined roles as the Chosen One and the Passenger: supposed foes who are fated to clash, with one dying. Nadia getting injected with “Rambaldi fluid” in order to tap directly into the long-dead man’s consciousness (contained within another artifact known as the Sphere of Life) only earns her some nasty apocalyptic visions. But despite their genuine friendship that comes from bonding over their fucked-up childhoods, Sydney and Nadia are forced into that preordained confrontation when the latter is injected with a compound that reduces her to a mindless killing machine… all while a giant red ball is hovering over a city in Russia, because why not. Even after Nadia dies, and is brought back to life, then dies again, with her ghost haunting Sloane as he finally attains immortality, she remains a presence on the series.

There are certainly echoes to Black Widow and how it handles Natasha and adoptive sister Yelena’s (Florence Pugh) strained reconciliation after the older sister got out of the Red Room while the younger was still caught in its web. Their bickering banter about vests and poses, their differing memories of their false childhood, and their respective feelings of abandonment are what elevated Black Widow’s standalone outing—and made it even more tragic, on multiple levels, that this was the only time we would see the two of them in a movie together.

What Alias Predicted: Sister stories are gold! The Rambaldi storylines would mean nothing if they didn’t hinge on a tragically preordained confrontation, just as the MCU’s Red Room depiction seemed overdone until it was presented within the context of multiple generations’ differing experiences with its bloody legacy.

What Superhero Stories Can Still Learn: More stories about sisters! With Nat dead not long after she and Yelena had just started to bond again, it’s vital that Yelena’s future MCU appearances show her still grappling with the little time they got together.

After all, the best superhero stories are the ones that can feel just as fresh now as they did 20 years ago.

Alias is currently streaming on Amazon Prime Video.

The post How Alias Anticipated Modern Superhero Storytelling appeared first on Den of Geek.

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insomniacowl · 4 years ago

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Neon Genesis Evangelion analysis chapter:17 Angels advance

Sakiel: The third angel

The year is 2015 and Sakiel, the first descendent of Adam/ Third angel appears. Due to the base structure of Eva’s storytelling being “Humanity’s struggle against the angels”, understanding the nature of the “Enemies” that are the angels is necessary for understanding this series. However, due to the proper explanation of the angels being abundant and clear (Which is rare for anything from Eva), this chapter will be used to explain set pieces that are important to the plot but not often talked about or glossed over.

Also, Due to Kaworu requiring a chapter of his own, this chapter will contain only the fourteen angels that failed in their Advances and were unable to infiltrate into central dogma.

Sakiel’s design in the planning phase of Evangelion. It resembles Unit – 00 much more

The third angel Sakiel is the Angel of water and shows the closest resemblance to Adam out of all the angels we see. The design of Sakiel has reminded many viewers of the plug suit as well, raising many questions about the nature of Angels. And due to it appearing cute when it blinks, many of the viewers have found it to have an adorable design.

And as we can see from the original design, the producers tried to allude to the fact of the “Angel of water concept”. When the design was changed, we can still see this allusion with Sakiel appearing from a body of water.

The fourth angel Shamshel

The fourth angel looks like a squid without most of its tentacles and arrived three weeks after Sakiel was defeated. It is the Angel of daylight, but we don’t see anything that alludes to this fact (Other than that it arrived during the day, but this is not unique to Shamshel)

But Shamshel was important to the plot as it provided the S2 engine that would be soon inserted into Unit – 04. We can see it being much more aggressive in its attack compared to Sakiel and the level of aggression makes the viewers question if it is trying to avenge its fallen predecessor. But in the end, it was repelled by Shinji who showed an even higher level of aggression.

The fifth angel Ramiel and its remains in episode 9

The angel of thunder Ramiel followed suit and along with Sakiel, were the only two angels that appeared for two episodes in a row and is one of the more memorable opponents in this series. Its movement creates harmonics that reminds one of a church choir and is shaped almost like an abstract art sculpture. All of this with the fact that it is easy to draw makes Ramiel one of the most popular Angels.

Many look to the similarities in design and posits that the design of Ramiel was modeled after Laputa, but the truth was already revealed by Anno himself. The design of Ramiel comes from a 1983 anime ‘Future police Urashimen’ and the mechanic from episode 47 is undoubtedly Ramiel.

Sixth angel Gagiel

The angel of fish, Gagiel was used for highlighting Asuka’s debut on the series and there is not much we can talk about.

Seventh angel Israphel

The angel of music Israphel is unique in the sense it was able to split its body in two, serving as a proof of split-ability of souls in this universe. Its face(?) was shaped like a Yin-Yang before splitting.

Eighth angel Sandalphon

The angel of fetus Sandalphon was found in magma before it has hatched from its egg and the internal view showed it to be shaped like a fetus. Unit – 02 was chosen to undertake the mission of capturing it alive for experiments but was eliminated when this mission has failed. Sandalphon also plays a role in determining the Sex of the baby. This fact leads some to argue that the theme of this episode was “Sex”

Ninth angel Matarael

Perhaps it is really crying

The angel of rain Matarael perhaps tops the mediocrity of angels but also marks the end of the list of “easy” enemies that started with Gagiel. It looks like a spider and has an unexposed core but is the only angel that was eliminated using a rifle. The important thing of note in this episode is the Self-defence force referring to Matarael as the eighth angel, showing that Seele and Nerv are hiding the existence of Lilith. It is sometimes maddening that Anno believes this to be enough explanation.

Tenth angel Sahaquel

The angel of the sky Sahaquel appeared out of the sky just like its namesake. It is one of the angels that saw much change compared to the planning phase design, the toilet paper roll like arm of Zeruel was originally Sahaquel’s. This makes one wonder what the battle against it could actually have been.

Because Sahaquel’s attack involves a suicide attack using its whole body, it practically made the initiation of the Third impact impossible. This makes the investigation of its motives impossible and the “Angle that does not think” in the series development document might be referring to this one. However, there is an alternate theory that posits that Sahaquel was in a symbiotic relationship with Iroul and it is a possibility we can consider.

the AT field of the eleventh angel Iroul

The angel of terror Iroul took the form of bacteria sized micro machine and infiltrated Nerv through the means of hacking the system. Being the first and the last angel to attempt a non-physical method of attack, it was perhaps the most vulnerable moment for Nerv. And it is during this attack that Kaji was ‘Investigating’ central dogma.

We also see Gendou creating false reports regarding Iroul’s infiltration of Nerv arguing that this has never happened, telling the viewers of the fact that these two entities are not in complete agreement with each other. There is more to be said about this “lie” that Gendou told and will be covered in a future chapter.

The twelfth angel Leriel

The angel of nigh Leriel appears like a ball floating in the sky but this “ball” is later revealed to be a shadow and the “shadow” that was cast on the ground surface was the actual angel. But later interviews revealed that the floating ball was used only for the visual impact and was not the original idea of the twelfth angel’s appearance. The inside of the angel is the field called Dirac sea (it is different from the real-life theoretical model of the same name thus requiring no exploration into the field of theoretical physics). It was the first angel that showed interest in Humans and we also learn that Nerv hid this fact from Seele.

Shinji + Leliel?

According to Tsurumaki from the production staff, the ‘young Shinji’ that converse with our Shinji is actually Leliel. The original sequence of this conversation was Shinji talking directly to Leriel, the production staff decided that this did not convey the intention of the scene well enough thus they choose to depict it at a symbolic level, making the patterns on Leliel similar to the shirt young Shinji wore. It is sometimes maddening that even the production staffs believe this to be enough explanation.

Thirteenth angel Bardiel in its sticky mucus form

Fourteenth Angel Zeruel

Fifteenth Angel Arael

I am glossing over Bardiel and Zeruel as there is not much to talk about here.

The angel of birds Arael holds an extra meaning of “The god of light”, or “The vision of God” and is another angel that is true to its namesake. It is also another angel following Leliel that showed interest in human psychology.

Just like how Leliel appeared in Shinji’s mind in the form of his childhood, Arael did so for Asuka as well. Keep this in mind as we talk about the next angel.

The sixteenth angel Armisael

Armisael: I’ll give you a piece of my heart. How does it feel? Painful?

Rei: Painful? No… This is the feeling of loneliness

Armisael: I don’t understand

Rei: We are all together, but you are alone, and you don’t like that. That’s what it means to be lonely

The sixteenth angel ‘penetrates’ into Rei’s mind just like Leliel and Arael did for Shinji and Asuka respectively. Armisael tells Rei about the ‘pain’ it feels in its heart and is taught by Rei that this is called loneliness. Angels that exist as a unified entity did not have the concept of ‘Loneliness’ and learns of it through communication with Rei. Armisael then synchronizes it’s feeling with Rei and approaches Shinji in her form while creating the ‘Tower of angels ‘through Unit – 00.

The ‘Tower of angels’ Armisael creates

How it looks like. From the development document

The ‘Tower of angels’ is a structure shaped like the amalgamation of all angels that have appeared so far. This points to the possibility that Armisael knew of the appearance of all previous angels, posing the possibility of communication among angels in some way. Or the design could have come from the memories of angels that Rei held.

Either way, Armisael learned of the concept of loneliness through Rei and the synchronization of its emotions and desire with Rei’s led it to attempt seducing Shinji and portray its desire of wanting to be with other angels. This is a very short sequence overshadowed by Rei’s self-sacrifice that soon followed but is used to portray that even the unified beings (angels) also suffer the concept of loneliness, making human’s ability to feel lonely to not be an inferior trait.

Armisael is the angel of the womb and the shape of Unit – 00 right before the self-detonation is like that of a pregnant woman. There is one more hidden symbolism to this, but it being integral to the characterization of Rei, I will mention it in her part chapter 27.

The face of an angel.

The seventeenth angel Tabris can be said to be Adam (‘s soul) thus we will talk about him in a later chapter (chapter 18). This chapter has given a broad description of the angels, next chapter, we will have a deeper dive into the nature of these angels.

TBC Chapter 18 Angels, what are they?

#Neon genesis evangelion #Evangelion #Eva #End of evangelion #Nge #Nagisa Kaworu #Lilith #Sci-fi #Ikari Shinji #Soryu Asuka Langley #asuka #Ayanami Rei #rei #Anno Hideaki #Katsuragi Misato #Anime #Analysis #Review

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halothenthehorns · 3 years ago

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All in the Family

Chapter 16: The Forbidden Forest

The breath of fresh air was like finally stepping out of an exam. Your brain turned back on, you could remember an answer you couldn't ten minutes ago, and they finally weren't surrounded by walls! There were no buildings, no castle, for once the lack of human civilization felt right...then Remus really looked around and saw where they were, and had to fight back the urge to scream.

The dark trees towered over them all, some pressed so close together it was as if they were hugging, others spaced almost evenly, as if someone at some time had actually intended to plant them. There were all different species as well, weather of magical properties or simply the transitions of very many years introducing new to this Forbidden Forest. The Marauders knew them all, not particularly by name, but of what could be inside them. They each could have taken a quick look around and pointed which direction Hogwarts was, how to navigate to a manticore den if one were suicidal enough, contact the centaurs or even go chasing after some spiders. They also knew what else would soon be in this forest, that only appeared once a month.

Remus had been feeling sick since this all took off, and not for the same reasons as the others. After he'd told his friends about his secret, they soon didn't even have to ask when the full moon even was, they could keep track of it themselves. Not by looking to the stars, but the werewolf himself. His body, so physically tied to the endless cycle, seemed conditioned itself to run in phases. When a new moon, Moony was at the peak of health, as bright eyed and laughing along with anyone. The heavier the orb became, the heavier his eyes grew, the paler his skin got, as if the curse itself were to match.

Ignorant as they'd been of the true meaning of time in all of this, they'd all kept a careful eye on him through every time jump, and none really liked what they saw. That last potions class, the last clear marker of anything they had, meant only four days tell a full moon again. Remus had been so quiet and withdrawn it could have been that night. Through several bunts across this universe though, they'd gotten so lost and muddled it was impossible to keep track of anything, let alone something so far above they couldn't even see.

Now all four looked up, but the thicket of branches was as revealing as a ceiling, and their friends luminescent pallor could still mean anything.

Then Lily did scream.

At first she'd simply thought it was a pile of snow. That was wrong though, there was a slight chilly breeze creeping through, but it had the taste of spring tease, not nearly cold enough for a whole mound of undisturbed pile so breathtakingly unpigmented.

The tangled legs, silky mane, and spiral horn had formed next. She'd started forward in concern, her mind offering up a foal sleeping. The deep silver of blood dripping still warm from its neck was the last click.

To the others credit, no one ran. They all had wands out at once and tried to draw closer to each other even in this circle of mistrust, but as one by one they all saw the same, a deadly silence fell as surely as this mythical creature.

Potter spoke first, inching towards her and hissing, "Evans, get away!"

It was true she had seemed to land nearest the mare, she could have reached out and touched the alabaster hindquarters.

"And go where," Regulus uneasily demanded.

Pettigrew shot a glance at him, and immediately turned on the spot and tried to shoot some purple jet of light into the darkness. It, like every spell before, simply vanished with no visible trace of ever being there, but the moment he stepped in the same direction, there again was an invisible barrier blocking them from stepping out of this clearing.

"Okay, well, at least whatever did it isn't in here with us," Frank offered, straightening from a defensive position near Alice and doing a quick 360 to confirm there was nothing lurking nearby. Shadows were aplenty, but certainly whatever had done this would have attacked at their arrival...right?

"Lily, come on, please get away from it," Potter insisted, the genuine fear still there finally sinking through her shock. Carefully, still on hands and knees like she'd landed, she backed away as far as she could, unintentionally putting herself right beside Potter as she stood, the book in her hand though none had seen it before.

"It was right by her heart," she muttered, running her hand uneasily over the cover and looking up at him. Then just as quickly, she turned and walked away, over to Alice and Frank, flipping through pages for her place and reading the chapter title without surprise, she'd figured that out all on her own.

James watched her go before turning eyes back on the unicorn. They didn't see many running through the Forest, though they weren't shy creatures, as they had no natural predators. One had even come across Moony, but though he'd stared it down, he'd instead continued right back to putting his nose to the ground after some griffins nest still five miles out.

Regulus spoke what all of them still couldn't get past, "what could have done this?"

Even those who hadn't taken Care of Magical Creatures knew a thing or two about this beast, for Professor Slughorn stressed when using their hairs or horn shavings in potions classes how valuable they were, and the only part they'd use in class. Even Professor Flitwick had once treated them to a lecture when one student asked about the wand core. Everybody said the same thing. They were a purely good and innocent life, and to slay one for any reason was a curse. To continue the act, to drink the blood as something had clearly done...it was unheard of.

For the first time, none of them had really stopped to consider the fact that though all people had vanished during their time of this, what about other things? If the unicorns body could still be here, than very likely what had done this could be as well.

With that lovely thought in mind, Lily read with more unease than she ever thought a book could do, about Harry getting something silly like a detention. The Marauders at least were momentarily distracted from everything by wondering just what Harry had done with their cloak, surely the boy wouldn't leave it up on the tower forever!

They did feel for Harry of course, and even more for Neville when he got dragged into all this for doing the right thing. McGonagall's punishment was admittedly ridiculous, but now that the others were distracted but the Marauders could just shrug off something so silly like losing house points, they kept on track with their friend who may be facing a very real problem soon.

Throughout all of these time jumps, any one of them could have been during a full moon, and none of them could do a thing about it. Knock out the other four so they didn't realize what, or who, was happening and transform? Protecting all of them while in some enclosed space!

This was so far the only solution James had thought up, and Remus hadn't a chance to tear it down then in their common room, but he did now where hopefully the wind snatched away their words better than the Quidditch team acting a prat to Harry.

"This just isn't safe! I nearly killed someone last time, I won't let it ever get that close again!"

"That was my fault," Sirius hatefully pointed out, tense and looking nearly as sick as Remus at the reminder, but he had to make this clear. "You're right Moony, it won't ever go that far again because we'll make sure it won't, none of this is on you!"

"What do you want us to do anyways?" Peter demanded with a little huff, he couldn't be on look out forever, he'd already seen Frank grow suspicious of them at least once. "You keep griping about this, but I don't hear you coming up with any ideas." Then, at a much more conversational tone of voice, "Glory, Harry would be the one to come across Quirrell at a time like that."

The others had to quickly play catch up to what they'd been listening to in the background, but clearly no one else noticed, so their inane chatter to each other about all Harry's varying luck was given no more thought than the whispered conversation.

"Wait, what's Harry doing out on the grounds for his detention?" James did turn and look at Evans fully again, glancing to Peter and really feeling like he'd missed something, but the other shrugged with no more clue than Filch was giving.

Then Remus slumped to the ground, looking utterly exhausted and likely to faint any moment as it seemed his own worst fear was going to play out in Harry's time at the exact moment it was here.

They were all admittedly thunderstruck at such a punishment, but the fact that it was taking place with Hagrid made them think that somehow the gamekeeper had pulled this off himself. Likely feeling bad for getting the kids into this, in his warped mind he probably thought he was giving them a treat.

Alice just snickered at the young Malfoy, and how Filch was no help at all. "Honestly, any decent teacher would have just told what you should do when facing a werewolf, not him though."

"Wouldn't be Filch if he didn't traumatize one kid a year," Frank agreed.

Remus tried to keep breathing evenly that they were just blowing this off, that surely the teachers wouldn't have them out there during a full moon...but there was no longer a werewolf on those grounds even trapped safely away, so what if they didn't care about such things anymore? Filch nor Hagrid were denying a full moon tonight!

News of the unicorn brought them up short at least, all eyes turning back to the very same.

"Please," Potter begged, "someone tell me that we're just getting an unpleasant first hand look at this thing! Let the record be broken that we aren't where Harry likely will wind up!" His voice was near screaming at the end, and Sirius shifted uneasily from rubbing Moony's shoulder to patting James, now both looked likely to vomit.

"See, he's going in with Hagrid," Peter tried his best to keep looking on the bright side of this. "Nothing in this forest is going to mess with him!"

"Nothing in the forest now," Remus said hoarsely, the others were just pleased he was still bothering to make conversation. "Twenty years from now? Clearly something got in."

"Do we need to separate you two next?" Sirius snapped.

"Yes please," Remus bitterly grumbled, glancing again at the heavens like he hoped they'd swallow him up.

"Moony, listen," Sirius crouched down beside him, James and Peter striking up a loud conversation about what they hoped ate Malfoy as a distraction. "Nothing's going to happen, alright! Time's been a bit screwy around here lately, I know, but that has to mean it's also working on our side! No full moon," he finished, practically breathing in his ear by the end, "and Merlin help it if there is one, we won't let you hurt anyone, not even yourself, just like always."

Remus turned to face him, and in the practically non-existent lighting all he could really do was trace his face. Their noses were inches apart, and that electricity seemed to snap between the two again. Remus couldn't help it, he believed him. He could still vividly recall that look of shock, the horror only just setting in as Sirius told him what had happened, and then he'd gone all defensive and tried to play it off like another joke. This time his expression remained open and sincere, which was all Remus had wanted to see the past month. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed right then not to kiss him, his hand twitched involuntarily anyways and brushed against Sirius fingers.

Padfoot just smiled and let them stay overlapped like that, it was dark enough nobody would notice.

James paused in describing the details of bowtruckle eye removal as he glanced between the two, certainly sensing something, but he was just so happy they were even speaking to each other again he didn't press them for whatever that was.

Of course Malfoy ruined the whole thing, all of them jumping in shock at the red sparks and wanting to pull that blond head off for doing that to Neville at a time like this. Maybe it was just because they saw the danger right in front of them, but it felt even more suicidal than facing down that troll for Harry to be going off alone now!

Sirius would even take Norbert back! This was something that could actually kill the kid, again!

Indeed that seemed exactly what was about to happen! Whatever monstrosity that was drinking unicorn blood and then turning its attention on that little boy was as good as dead if the centaur hadn't arrived.

Lily couldn't help but sink to the leafy ground herself as, whatever that thing could be was run off. For the first time, she'd really felt invested in that danger, had wanted to shield and protect Harry from this! All of the other situations he'd either gotten himself into or she hadn't believed a danger was there, she'd either just seen Potter in her mind being an idiot or trusted Sev wouldn't let anything happen. Now though, that little boy was just doing a detention for the school, one he'd gotten while helping a friend, and this was by far the most heart stopping thing to become of that!

The night just couldn't end there. They got more information from Firenze than anything else so far, none of it at all pleasant, and all putting a much larger scope on this problem.

Regulus hadn't even been sure how he'd felt about the demise of the Dark Lord because of this Boy Who Lived. He'd spent his whole life up until now wanting nothing more than to join the prospering future of the Death Eaters, but in fact the world seemed to have gone on without the Dark Lord. Now though, from the word of a centaur, there was absolute proof this was no glory for money as they'd all believed before. Now it made sense why Dumbledore wanted that Stone right under his nose.

The Dark Lord was trying to come back, and he seemed determined to kill Harry to do it.

Lily nearly pissed herself all through the conversation of Harry catching up his two friends on all of this. She'd barely given herself a moment to even admit how invested in this story she'd slowly been before it was all slammed down on her with pure adrenaline. A world without You-Know-Who was so far just a fairy-tale in this future, now just as quickly it was all about to be stripped away? She had no clue how Harry was being so calm about this!

The end note still managed to hold its own surprise, though at least it was a decent one. Getting his cloak back could only be a good thing, right?

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #Wolfstar #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #James Potter #Peter Pettigrew #Regulus Black #Frank Longbottom #Alice Smith #Marauders

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deathsmallcaps · 4 years ago

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August’s Story

Swan Lake was the story for this month! It’s the sixteenth Win A Commission. If you’d like to read it and see the drawings again, please

ACT I

Prince Siegfried arrives at his 21st birthday celebration on the palace courtyards. Here, he finds all of the royal families and townspeople dancing and celebrating, while the young girls are anxiously seeking his attention.

During the exquisite celebration, his mother gives him a crossbow. She informs him that because he is now of age, his marriage will be quickly arranged.

Hit with the sudden realization of his future responsibilities, he takes his crossbow and runs to the woods with his hunting group.

ACT 2

Getting ahead of the group, Prince Siegfried finds himself alone in a peaceful spot by an enchanted lake where swans gently float across its surface. While Siegfried watches, he spots the most beautiful swan with a crown on its head.

His buddies soon catch up, but he orders them to leave so he can be by himself. As dusk falls, the swan with the crown turns into the most beautiful young woman he has ever seen. Her name is Odette, the Swan Queen.

Odette informs the young prince about an evil sorcerer, Von Rothbart, who happens to be disguised as Prince Siegfried’s mentor. It was Rothbart who turned her and the other girls into animals. The lake was formed by the tears of their parents' weeping. She tells him that the only way the spell can be broken is if a man, pure in heart, pledges his love to her.

The prince, about to confess his love for her, is quickly interrupted by the evil sorcerer. He takes Odette from Prince Siegfried’s embrace and commands all of the animal maidens to dance upon the lake and its shore so that the prince cannot chase them. Prince Siegfried is left all alone on the shore of Swan Lake.

ACT 3

The next day at the formal celebration in the Royal Hall, Prince Siegfried is presented with many prospective princesses. Although the ladies are worthy of his attention, he cannot stop thinking about Odette.

His mother commands him to choose a bride, but he cannot. For the time being, he satisfies his mother's request by dancing with them.

While the prince dances, trumpets announce the arrival of Von Rothbart. He brings his daughter, Odile, on whom he has cast a spell to appear as Odette. The prince is captivated by her beauty and he dances with the imposter.

ACT 4

Unbeknownst to Prince Siegfried, the true Odette is watching him from a window. The prince soon confesses his love to Odile and proposes marriage, thinking that she is Odette.

Horrified, Odette flees into the night. Prince Siegfried sees the real Odette running from the window and realizes his mistake.

Upon his discovery, Von Rothbart reveals to the prince the true appearance of his daughter Odile. Prince Siegfried quickly leaves the party and chases after Odette.

Odette has fled to the lake and joined the rest of the girls in sadness. Prince Siegfried finds them gathered at the shore consoling each other. He explains to Odette the trickery of Von Rothbart and she grants him her forgiveness.

It doesn't take long for Von Rothbart and Odile to appear in their evil, un-human, and somewhat bird-like forms. Von Rothbart tells the prince that he must stick to his word and marry his daughter. A fight quickly ensues.

Prince Siegfried tells Von Rothbart that he would rather die with Odette than marry Odile. He then takes Odette’s hand and together they jump into the lake.

The spell is broken and the remaining animals turn back into humans, with the exception of one spider who helped Von Rothbart with the illusion magic. They quickly drive Von Rothbart and Odile into the water where they, too, drown.

My Notes

The title was basically copied off the Barbie Swan Lake one. Apparently it’s really difficult to draw a football shape, because I must’ve tried at least 20 times!

So, originally, I meant to draw the prince running with the crossbow for the first picture. But the journal I had with me at the time was pretty small, and I couldn’t get the angle right, so I gave up on that. Often with these drawings, I’ll have an original idea, find out its beyond my capabilities at the moment or that it’s kind of boring, and then switch it up. (Oh, the best laid plans of mice and men…) So instead I drew the crossbow. It has a swan on it at least!

The second picture was another one that ended up quite different from the original. For one, I wanted to draw inspiration from the Barbie version of Swan Lake (one I hold dearly in my heart) and the movie The Swan Princess, which was a musical comedic retelling of Swan Lake, except the villain wants to marry Odette to rule her kingdom, Odile is his henchwoman, and Siegfried (who has a different name) grew up knowing Odette. You may have seen versions of it - it was actually a really great movie but Disney shut it down pretty quickly, so the studio that made it became poor and now make crappy sequels for the movie instead. ANYWAY I suddenly remembered, when I was only in the figure drawing phase, Stephanie Kurlow.

Stephanie Kurlow, as I am writing this, is credited as the first Hijabi ballerina. So while she’s probably not the first Muslim ballerina, she is the first one to insist on an outfit that honors her religious beliefs. She is an Australian teen who wishes to make ballerina outfits more accessible to different beliefs, and she and her mother have started a studio that does respect beliefs. I guess that a lot of professional studios, due to the wish for uniformity for its background dancers and the bigger difficulty in dancing well in longer skirts, have trouble with this concept. But in any case, she and her outfits heavily inspired Odette’s dresses. I did not draw her face for Odette, but I was very heavily inspired by her.

For the third picture, that was pretty much a mix of Barbie’s Swan Lake, the Swan Princess and Stephanie Kurlow again. The prince is the one from Barbie (his hair was brown and your mom doesn’t believe me that for a short while the Ken characters had brown hair!), Odile’s evil reflection was based off of Odette from Swan Princess, and of course she is wearing a Stephanie Kurlow outfit. Did you see the evil spider in the corner? I’ve only found one version with the spider, but it fit my purposes :).

Last picture is a toughie. I want you to know, that despite its inclusion in the story, suicide is NEVER the answer. If you ever feel like you’d be better off dead, or even if you start thinking about what the world would be like without you, a lot, please talk to someone. It can be your parents, someone at your church, a counselor, or someone else you trust. They will help you. (Okay back to the drawing stuff)

I wasn’t sure how to draw the spirits rising up, so I kind of just drew Odette, with the prince at her back, rising towards the moon. It was hard figuring out where the billows of her dress go, lol. But yeah, they’re rising up from the lake. I decided to make the moon look like the one on many flags of Islam because I thought it would be cool.

(Apparently, when Islam spread to what is now Turkey, the people in the area worshipped a moon goddess, so the moon was incorporated into their worship, just like Easter, a celebration of spring fertility, was incorporated into Christianity for the German peoples. They later added a star to the moon because the Quran, their holy book, has a lot of mentions of stars. Then, when the Ottoman Empire fell (Turkey was its base), Turkey was the biggest remaining Muslim world power, so its flag with the moon and the star became synonymous with Islam, and many groups adopted it.)

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed coloring! Good luck for next month!

@boopboopboopbadoop

#wac #win a commission #swan lake #the swan princess #Stephanie Kurlow

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sammyspreadyourwings · 5 years ago

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Ooh, this one is fun!! Okay, so I changed a few things for flow story-wise, but it should still fit. Also I did a little more world-building off-screen than I should of but... it was fun.

Escape

Roger has been told to keep an eye on certain advisors, what he isn’t expecting is for them to be so bold with sending actual assassins while they’re in the middle of court. Dressed up in their rival nation's colors ofc. He’s able to dispatch the first assassin with ease, but gets a crossbow bolt to the shoulder. The few loyal knights rush in, but Roger’s main goal is to get Freddie out of the castle.

So he takes him through the back tunnels that Brian showed them when they were younger to sneak out. He’s not surprised to see that the warlock is already halfway to the throne room. Brian takes Freddie’s arm because of course the young prince wants to get back to his people.

They don’t know how much support they still have in the castle, Roger reminds him so they have to go.

As it turns out the crossbow bolt was poisoned. Predictably, so by the time they reach the middle of the forest, no doubt thanks to Brian’s magic because he’s looking close to passing out.

Freddie is freaking out because his two cheif protectors (brothers, companions, friends, something else?) are both vunerable, and his father never really let him learn martial skills beyond wrestling and the like. And he knows the tales of this forest and about the spirits and Fae that run the woods.

When Brian finally sucumbs to his exhaustion and Roger to the poison, Freddie is sure thsi is the end for all of them because then there’s rustling in the trees. A young(?) elf stumbles through the underbrush.

“What are you doing here? Humans are forbidden here.”

“I don’t mean any harm, we don’t. My friends, they need a healer. One is badly poisoned.”

John checks over the pair, wincing as Roger’s wound grows sickly and green. He knows helping humans is a crime, but they also charish all life, so he smears on a salve on the wound and crushes herbs into the warlock’s mouth.

Then he waits, because the humans probably won’t do anything while he’s there with his weapons.

It turns out all the humans needed was the night. Elf magic and healing is far more potent than humans (even if Bri has to hesitantly explain that he has elven blood in him and that’s why he’s so good a magic becuase he’s up much faster than any human should be even without the help).

Once Roger is up, he wants to back and shore up their support and reclaim the castle. The coup needs to be settled effectively and swiftly so that the people don’t get restless. Brian argues that they need to do everything under the radar because they might not have the majority support.

John watches this for a few hours. How the two humans (or rather human and half-human) will be at eachs other’s throats back off and resume. The other human seems content to let them bicker, but every once and awhile the two arguing ones will defer to the other. It doesn’t take him much longer to realizes that this is an Important Human techincially in charge of the two bickering ones.

Then comes the army through the forest. John feels how the woods scream in terror. He takes off, surprised to find the humans come with him. His village is being ransacked by the Human Army. He takes off to fight them, and much to his surprise the warlock is with him as well.

They fight until they get overrun and then the warlock (Brian he thinks he heard) pulls him away, saying that its too late. John reluctantly agrees, a useless death his not a heroic one. Brian takes him to somewhere in the forest that he knows well, but not many know of.

“Sorry, it was the first thing that had enough of your past presence here,” Brian shrugs.

The other two appear in a shimmery mist. John sees the waystone in Roger’s hand. It must be attuned to Brian. Which is no small feat to do.

Regroup

With John’s permission, the humans (and half-human) manage to set up a rebel base of some sort. Reaching out their allies which are much fewer than he knows they hoped for. He’s also turned it into a sort of refugee camp for those of his village and other’s affected to regather in. Which technically means its a joint army for the first time in thousands of years.

Even the humans defer to him in rank despite not being an Offical Member of the Army. He guesses its because Freddie is always with him (or within eyesight of him) and Roger seems to allow his presence when he chases others away from Freddie ( “I don’t care what they say, or how long they’ve served the crown. I’m not letting anyone I don’t know or trust near him”).

No one ever tells him explicitly but he knows it has something to do with why they ended up in the forest in the first place as Roger was poisoned and Brian knocked out to near exhaustion. Not that John has any complaints, because Roger gives the same treatment to both elves and humans which strangely enough helps builds bonds.

John is also quick to learn why Roger is Freddie’s chosen gaurd, after he soundly defeated four would be troublemakers that tried to disregard his commands. He’s impressed at the speed Roger possess, almost as quick and dexterious as an elf.

Freddie on the other hand is well liked by his followers. He’s kind and caring, while a bit entitled at times, John’s never heard of a more pleasent human. When they’re with the other commanders, Freddie always makes sure to keep everyone’s voices heard (including the elves) and doens’t have much paitent for the bickering of his commanders (even if Roger has less so).

John figures that Freddie must be similiar to their council but born into this position. Humans are far more prone to greed, but Freddie earns every man’s loyalty (and John is quickly finding that he is one of them).

Then there’s Brian. The half-human warlock. Brilliant but prone to worrying and magical mishaps. John has never seen anyone (elf or human) more intune with the ley-lines of the world. Although more than once John has found himself guarding an unconsious Brian because he exhausted himself in his quest to find the things they’ll need to reclaim Freddie’s throne.

He also has the most understanding with Brian, because while the Warlock might not know their culture completely, he does know parts of it. And usually he’s pretty good at explaining why certain threads get crossed between humans and elves in their camps.

John also just enjoys the way magic wraps around Brian and makes him warm.

About three months into this entire mess John realizes that he’s sort of fallen in love with them. In elven culture, more than one lover is accepted irregardless of gender, sometimes it’s even encouraged because of low-birthrates. Humans aren’t like that, he’s found. Especially when he’s heard stories of soldiers wives making homes with those left behind.

He would like to draw away, but the three won’t let him. Everytime John wants to go on a scouting brigade, Roger will join him (ultimately leaving Freddie with Brian or bringing the prince along). John tries to organize things on the elven side, Freddie is next to him, trying to figure out ways to make their rations and supplies last longer (wait, you use the rine of the fruit? We don’t eat it, so let’s set up a collection place!). Brian, just seems to know where he is (not that it’s hard John, you’ve got a pretty specific energy).

What Brian fails to tell him, that he has to learn from one of their own Spell-weavers is that he has a specific energy that matches the others. Not that Brian knows the significgance, until said spell-weaver explains it to him. (John somewhat enjoys how humans do have boundries of things others can tell someone else).

Brian naturally tells Freddie and Roger. John has to sit through a very awkward confession (because they hadn’t really thought about why they all fit together, but yeah kissing and courting each other sounds very nice). So now that they’re all on the same page of romantic love. John couldn’t be happier.

They still have a castle to seige, and that might not go well. John tries to ignore that.

Conclusion

John stays with the elves and arches during the siege and subsequent battle. Roger is on the front lines along with Freddie, and John knows he won’t stray far from the prince but he can’t actually see them to verify, and Brian is taking a group through the secret hallways of the castle to get them from the inside as well.

He doesn’t know who to be more worried about, since save for a stray arrow, he’s mostly protected. While he fells as many as he shoots arrows, he can’t shake the feeling that something might go wrong. Roger could (would. will) sacrifice himslf to keep Freddie from feeling a fatal blow. Freddie might not be able to stop a fatal blow and he and Roger got seperated. Roger could sacrifice himself and Freddie still fall.

It’s the last one that has him deffering command to second, and starting to run through the battle.

He can’t help Brian. The warlock is too far out of his reach, but John can’t stop the thoughts of everything that could go wrong. The traitors might have learned of the passages. They could’ve collasped. Giant spiders. Someone getting too close to Brian before he can cast. Somone nullifying his magic.

“John?” Roger slides next to him.

As expected Freddie is only a few feet away from him, and Roger’s eyes are trained directly on his prince.

“Sorry. I couldn’t. I wanted to be up. I can’t.”

Roger nods and pulls the shortsword off his belt, “I know you’re good with your bow, but here.”

The three of them start carving a path towards the gates. John keeps an anxious watch on the sky waiting for the signal. So does Freddie. So does Roger.

Eventually the orange sparks hit the sky and the second phase of their plan occurs. The castle gates fall and the inside had already been routed. Except he can’t see Brian. Roger and Freddie are fine, Freddie’s already assuming his duty as now King, but he can see that they’re looking for Brian too.

John worries for a split second about what’s going to happen between elves and humans, but he’s more worried about where Brian could be.

Then he sees a curly mop of hair stumbling towards them. Exhausted but unharmed. Roger urges him to go to Brian with his eyes, because he still has to be A General and get things settled.

John can’t help but ask Brian when he wraps around him, “what’s going to happen to this. To me?”

Brian snorts, “if you think you’re going to be able to get away from Freddie and Roger now that they have you, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“And you?” John wonders if Brian doesn’t care about him as much as the others.

“I don’t have to worry about not being able to find you again.”

#poly!queen #polyqueen #Fantasy AU #asks #nonnie #anonymous #heacanon #long post #uh #yeah another AU #like I don't have list seventeen #like seventeen rather #but this is a good AU #elf deak is a good deak

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slaaneshfic · 5 years ago

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Dean Kenning, Social Body Mind Map

I just finished reading and making notes on (using the Digestion System I employ to get around my badly limited memory, which is i think detailed in an earlier post) a paper shared with me by the artist and lecturer Dean Kenning. I’ve known Dean’s work for a while, we’ve been on panels and in exhibitions together going back 5 years or so, but this is the first time I’ve been able to got through a text to understand this system which he uses in teaching. I’m going to attempt to summarize it briefly here, and then talk about what happened when I tried the system myself.

Dean sets up the context for the workshop against increasing pressures in the UK on art education. The system of education in this country is primarily based around learning, recalling, and appling pre-existing methods and facts on demand, to satisfy predetermined outcomes. This is a problem because it is both incompatible with learning art, but also therefor discounts art and the definition of “thinking” it embodies. The thinking in art is generative, rather than prescriptive. There are ideological reasons for this which Dean doesn't go into but which should be fairly obvious in relation to school as site of labour discipline and enforcer of pre existing hierarchies of thought and power.

The “Social Body Mind Map” is method of understanding an artwork in particular, and art making in general as not arising from either a pre established set of ideas, or from an inscrutable and unknowable mystical self. It does this through the use of “the diagram” which i will return to, but first the aim of the workshop which this system is delivered to students by is characterised within its name, and the pairings of the four words. The “Social Body” reminds us that this is primarily about understanding self not as an autonomous individual but as the expression of multiple flows through one’s body connecting to things outside of it over time. The “self” (and Dead draws from Deleuze here) is better understood as an area where possibilities and influences converge. I wont go into more detail than that, as explaining this is in part what the workshop does. the second pairing is “Body Mind” and this emphasises that the thinking is something we do with our bodies rather than in some abstracted upper hierarchy. In fact Dean proposes the SBMM is a process of thinking through a diagram. Finally the paring “Mind Map” is a recognisable one to most students and is there to add a recognisable position to begin from. Dean’s mind map is not the same as the spider diagrams we might learn in school though for an important reason. Normally the mind map begins with a clear central position, the subject being “brain stormed”. Dean rightly points out that this standard method generally results in the reinforcement of existing structures, it favours cliches especially at first. Dean’s mind map will change this, by having the central position occupied by a partially unknown quantity. This unknown quantity will be “the art work”, which can be a completed, in progress or future one. Dean’s aim for this is as already stated to allow art works to be understood not as the reflection of some static self but as "generative of a subject”. The aim is also to articulate the “thinking” involved in art which is also generative. Finally, in order to achieve the latter, the workshop uses the former to “alienate the student from their work”, to make the artwork strange and not simply a “reflection” and therefore grant them agency in the process of production of thought.

Workshop stage 1

the workshop begins by prepping the participants to think of where an artwork arises from other than just as a reflection of some unknowable constant self. Dean draws up a series of headings under which as a group they list the things which answer broadly the question “that facilitated this artwork coming to be?” the headings are

Capacities (things like: perception, imagination, strength, emotion etc)

Motivations (things like: Will, pleasure, boredom, instruction, deadlines)

Resources (things like: materials, tools, support from teacher, friends etc)

Organisations (things like: school, galleries, manufacturers, government etc)

So thinking about the production of the artwork moves from “I used my imagination” alone, to a series of statements such as “i used perception of the feeling of clay to see what forms it could hold without collapsing” and “The government set a syllabus which means is followed by my teacher who sets the deadline of two weeks to produce this artwork” and so on.

workshop stage 2

Dean then leads and example mind map, having already primed the students to think about their work in terms of these networks. the mind map begins with a “?” in its centre, and Dean tracks the influences which converge in this central point which is procedurally redrawn as “the artwork”.

Students then do their own, on their own, drawing on large paper this network. of factors which caused this artwork to be. Dean has some good examples of how a student, whos central image the wardrobe grew a giant toe in the drawing. The toe is in fact the act of student stubbing their own toe against the wardrobe in the dark which has identified as a factor in why they were drawn to make an artwork about it.

Dean’s recounting of conversations with students show that this workshop serves to uncover unknown or disregarded factors in the production of artworks. its described as “digging up hidden roots”. I think this is really important, I very much remember the feeling of art production as something “mysterious” in the sense that it was obscure. Following that pop cultural ciche of art just arising from some internal genius, that art was a reflection of the character or soul of the person making it. The process of production of ideas was not something I ever saw discussed in any art school I studied in including at Masters level. I understood in the second year of my MA that emotions where important, specifically that I could not make work when anxious, and I also developed rules around when during its cycle of development/production/reflection I would analyse a work (I’m currently deliberately breaking this rule, having adhered to it for over 10 years, specifically so I can understand it better, but thats another post)

Finally what also of note, is the manner in which the capacities/motivations/resources/organisations are connected to the alienated central artwork in the diagram also become important. As with everything in Dean’s system, there’s no prescribed way to do it, but in drawing out a line as a big toe, or casually decided as in mine to draw “fear” as the contents of a specimen jar this opens up further layers of reflection. This is a process of achieving that art teacher mantra of “letting go”. How you draw the limbs or tentacles becomes important without being anxiety provoking up front.

Final final note, as stated all of the system is adaptable and emergent. The lists of capacities etc as just an example, and they are generated with the group including the potential for entirely new categories. I copied Deans example list into my notebook above, and used both that and further examples as and when i thought of them .

My SBMM for “Ok, Welcome to the black parade”

OWTTBP is an artwork I started, and then deliberately let stall and left incomplete a couple of weeks ago because I wanted to write about the process of making it (even though this breaks a rule I’ve long followed, which is to not take apart works in progress, but to only analyse my works when there is at least one completed work between them and what I am working on now, my “one work buffer” rule). Reading Dean’s model for SBMM seemed like a perfect opportunity to work on this Reanimator corpse that I had left partially assembled, and also understand the process Dean is talking about better through employing it.

[Briefly, the “artwork” as it stands is a short science fiction story, written to an arbitrary formal constraint of 5 line paragraphs for the majority of the text. There are two points where this 5 line pattern deviates. firstly there is a section where the paragraphs all begin “You wake up...” for 7 paragraphs (there are around 50 of the 5 line paragraphs, paras 31-37 begin with “you wake up”. Secondly, after the narrative in the 5 line paras ends, there is an epilogue, which loosely sticks to 2 line paras, and has a different tone of voice. The artwork so far exists as this narrative, and a structure whereby I want something to happen between each of those 5 line parars (excluding the block which begin “you wake up”, which are back to back, in the manner of the scenes of strobing in and out of consciousness we are familiar with in cinema) which pulls the audience out from the narrative into an unstable space. Likewise there will be unstable space between the paras of the epilogue, but where I understand the former unstable space to be disordered but partly intelligible, the space between the epilogue paragraphs should be utterly ahuman.]

Above in pink is a diagram I had already developed (there is another one in the post before this) on my own to try and understand the art work I had made. the Diagram using SBMM is right at the top of this post, drawn by hand in my notebook. What became apparent when drawing is that the diagram was going to be much larger than i had space for. There are threads which I felt dissatisfied with because i knew there was so much more detail which had been left out due to the “resolution” I was working at. For example, the first thread I drew was the “Verbal tic” head at the 12 o’clock position in the diagram. I have verbal tics which occur mostly when I am stressed and/or struggling to manage my intrusive thoughts. It feels like trying to tap alt-f4 with my brain or shake and etch-a-sketch. What I happen to mutter in the form of these tics goes through phases and for whatever reason, I had been muttering “Ok, welcome to the black parade” for a few weeks at the point when I decided to write a new story, and this become the image I began with, a character repeatedly muttering a statement about a My Chemical Romance song (which I must admit, at the time, I hadn’t even knowingly heard, i just knew the name).

My point is, that Verbal tic head could itself have expanded with multiple growths outward which followed the trains of why I came to be muttering that, how I had come into contact with the phrase, how I had experience in my practice of taking an arbitrary starting point to jump start a work, how I like the Becketian aspect of my tics which make language alien, how I like the repetition, how they connect in both directions of causality to anxiety (they are caused by stress, but they also draw attention to me) and so on and so on.

In closing, I think SBMM is a fantastic system, and its refreshing to try someone else’s system of diagrammatics, rather than my own which is utterly organic and chaotic (see pink diagrams, and the monkey-goth drawing at the end of this post which I drew to write the “ok, welcome to the black parade” narrative from). I’m currently prepping material to write the section of my thesis which is about diagrams, and Dean’s system is going to be in there, especially as it serves a very good bridge between the chaotic-code-switch which i employ for practice and the much more structure systems I use for written research such as the Digestion System.

#art #dean kenning #deleuze #diagrams #phd #research #drawing #science fiction #animals #horror #art research #art practice #uma breakdown

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frasier-crane-style · 7 years ago

Text

Black Panther

It was okay.

-Just about every post or review I’ve seen of this has started with some variant of “I’m a white guy, so I can’t imagine what this means to black people,” which I find a little patronizing. If it meant a lot to you, I’m not going to denigrate that--although part of me thinks that some of that’s due to a cynical marketing campaign positioning this as the first movie that’s ever had black people in it. Just know that I can’t speak to how important a movie is to the black experience, either for or against, I can only speak to how I enjoyed it and what I thought of its various elements.

-I liked most of the cast, I thought a lot of the way they visualized Wakanda managed to pull off the “grass huts and forcefield” level of technology Jack Kirby envisioned without coming off as cheesy--even if it doesn’t quite fit to the Hudlin, Wakanda has always been advanced, backstory (in the comics, there are giant panther mecha. In the movie, there are... rhinos with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads). I thought the Korea action sequence was good, as well as parts of the final battle--the action ranges from bad (the opening fight) to good, but I don’t think it’s ever as visceral as Cap and Bucky storming through a SWAT team, a throwaway moment that now comes across as a highwater mark in a genre of Homecomings and Ragnaroks.

-Some people have said that T’Challa was boring, I thought the character and the acting was fine in a story that didn’t give him a lot to do (see below). I’d rather have a quiet, Zen Black Panther then see Tacoma Whippits turn him into a joke machine, and the obligatory bits in the first half where he has to act like a dork so we in the audience “relate to him” or whatever are just the worst. You had Feige specifically comparing T’Challa to James Bond, but I don’t remember Sean Connery slipping on a banana peel to tell us viewers that he was a fun guy. Just make the guy a convincingly badass motherfucker, we’ll like him. It worked in Civil War. (This is half a petty nitpick since after the ‘Q’ scene, they knock it off, but still, first impressions are important.)

-Petty nitpick department: For a genius, you’d think Shuri would realize that it’d be a lot easier to launch jeep-disabling weapons from the jet instead of making them into tiny little beads that you have to throw as you fall out of a plane. Even Batman just goes ahead and puts a gun on the Batwing, you know.

-They make this big point of how advanced Wakanda is, but it really doesn’t seem that much more advanced than what SHIELD and Tony Stark have. Like, what’s the difference between a Quinjet and whatever Wakanda’s version of a Quinjet is? The Black Panther suit seems less advanced than Iron Man’s stuff. Yeah, you can store it in a necklace, but it can’t shoot repulsor beams, it can’t fly, you have to physically walk around in it instead of being able to pilot it by remote. And the heart-shaped herb is a good biomodification, but it seems on par with Captain America, and not really something that has a mark on the Hulk, Quicksilver, Extremis, or Spider-Man. Kinda seems like the whole country could be taken out by one of those advanced Helicarriers from Winter Soldier. I realize they don’t want to make these guys too op, otherwise the next Spider-Man would end with Peter calling in a Dora Milaje to take out Venom for him, but it makes the Wakandans come off as a bit sheltered. “My Vibranium armor makes me bulletproof!” “Yeah, we have this Luke Cage guy, his skin does that.”

-Half of the plot seemed kinda... pointless? This has been out three weeks, so I feel safe in discussing spoilers--why couldn’t Erik just show up in Wakanda and challenge T’Challa in the first five minutes? Hell, why didn’t he show up before Civil War and challenge T’Chaka’s old ass? Seems like that would’ve been easier, plus, that was the guy who actually killed his father.

-I guess Killmonger’s plan was... and much of this wasn’t presented as such, so I’m just hypothesizing...

Phase 0: Wait for T’Chaka to die so Wakanda is vulnerable during the transition of power. Don’t, like, set out to assassinate him yourself, even though that seems perfectly doable. Just, you know, hope you get lucky.

Phase 1: Dangle Klaw in front of T’Challa’s face with a vibranium selling plot, then sabotage his attempt at capturing him to weaken T’Challa’s position within Wakanda. (No idea how T’Challa couldn’t find Klaw before when the Avengers and Ultron were able to do it with ease in AoU. I guess T’Chaka really was lying down on the job there.)

(-I’ve seen it suggested that T’Chaka let Klaw run free as a way of covering up N’Jobu’s death, but it seems like A. there’s no way Klaw could’ve known that much about it, B. it’d be far safer to just find him and kill him on the spot, and no Wakandan would question it.)

Phase 2: Kill Klaw himself to gain favor with the Wakandans, which will work, and cause T’Challa’s lifelong best bud to turn against him (even knowing that Erik was responsible for Phase 1).

Phase 3: Defeat T’Challa in battle. Phases 2 and 3 are now pointless since all of Wakanda is now honorbound to follow you.

-Speaking of, if you’re some superpowered guy in a supersuit, I should think you could pull off disarming some jabroni with a gun without stabbing him in the heart. I mean, Spider-Man does that five times a day, and he’s fifteen. I guess the implication was that they Jack Ruby’d him? But then Marvel doesn’t want to dirty up Wakanda that much, so...

-I get Erik’s dad smuggling vibranium out of Wakanda, but why would he partner with a racist psychopath like Klaw to do it? You’d think a prince pulling an inside job could set up something a little better. It’s the Marvel universe! There must be like fifty supervillains he could’ve called up.

-Didn’t like that T’Challa’s big fight with Klaw, his arch-nemesis, was Klaw getting in one hit that BP no-sold, then just winning. That’s John Cena bullshit.

-There’s no way in hell I buy that a week after her father is murdered in a terrorist bombing, the unbearable Shuri is making quips about her brother having a girlfriend, much less stopping a religious ceremony to crack wise. Imagine Princess Di interrupting a royal wedding to moon people. Now remember that Wakanda is supposed to be way more honorbound and traditionalist than Britain.

-The whole resurrection of T’Challa thing makes no sense. So, Erik has taken over Wakanda and burned all but one of the heart-shaped herbs. So, since only the royal family can take the herb and become a Black Panther, Shuri has to step up... no? She just kinda follows along while they take it to M’Baku to make him the new Black Panther? But conveniently he’s saved T’Challa so they can give him the herb and immediately repower him.

-And if M’Baku’s people are such Luddites, how come they’re able to take on the Vibranium weaponry of W’Kabi’s guys? Do they also have Vibranium weapons? If so, where exactly are they drawing the line? Is a sword that can cut through Iron Man okay, but not a flying car? (Yes, I know there’s an explanation about jabbari wood in the EU, but they could at least put in one line about it so we know how it works without reading the novelization.)

-For a country that’s apparently super committed to isolationism, Wakanda really easily gets on board with Plan Imperialism. I guess most of the Wakandan people are morally inferior to the Asgardians, since even in Ragnarok’s hatchet-job, most of them were depicted as either actively resisting Hela’s imperialism or being cowed by her army.

-And no, don’t say the Wakandans were honorbound to follow Erik, because T’Challa specifically shows up in front of everyone and says that the duel isn’t finished, so a whole parcel of them are deliberately choosing Erik over T’Challa, despite Erik being this outsider, out-of-wedlock, blasphemous murderer they’ve never seen before... who is also obviously a psycho.

-It just seems like Wakanda goes really quickly from being one hundred percent behind T’Challa to going “You’re weak! Erik is strong! We need a strongman to lead us otherwise we’ll get our asses kicked!” I don’t buy that the Klaw fiasco is enough to totally torpedo T’Challa and make Erik untouchable.

-I mean, it’s the same basic plot as the first Thor, only there it works because the Asgardians don’t know just how much of a weasel Loki is, plus he goes to the trouble of setting Thor up first.

-I got it, the issue is that this is based on the Don McGregor storyline where T’Challa had been away from Wakanda for a long time, serving on the Avengers and macking on gaijin Monica Lynne, so all of Wakanda was pissed at him and willing to hear this Killmonger guy out. But in the movie, he hasn’t done any of that, so it comes off as forced and contrived that all of a sudden, Wakanda is telling T’Challa to get to fuck.

-In fact, wouldn’t it make sense for Killmonger to factor M’Baku into his plans and take advantage of that tribe in some way? Since that’s one of the few things he could conceivably know about Wakanda (he really got lucky that W’Kabi was the first Wakandan he came across and totally sympathetic to a coup by a complete stranger).

-I guess the implication is that W’kabi and a lot of other Wakandans want to take over the world as some mix of maybe well-intentioned extremism, warrior pride, and garden-variety ambition, and they’re just following Killmonger because he can sign the papers. Which, when you think about it, makes Killmonger the black Donald Trump and his followers the Republican Party--”yeah, sure, he killed one priest, but he’s passing our tax bill, so...”--but I guess we’re going to skip straight from that take to him being a weeb?

-(That’s not really an issue with the film so much as a lot of the audience--not black people, but, like, Tumblr in general--deciding ahead of time exactly how they were going to feel about the movie and all its characters, which seems crazy to me. Like, why even go see the movie? But, not the movie’s fault, fanthings bein’ fanthing.)

-I thought the whole Okoye/W’kabi relationship was underdeveloped--at the end, when she stands up to him, I was like “oh, yeah, those two are A Thing.” I can’t imagine how much more forced taking the time to say Ayo--who is pretty much just the third Dora from the left here--is specifically in a lesbian relationship would be. So that’s a free pass from me for this stupid “gay representation controversy”. Even the T’Challa/Nakia thing felt pretty half-hearted and obligatory. The character of Nakia is alright, I was just never sure why these two in particular are into each other besides him being hot and her being hot (especially when the one thing we know about them is that their worldviews fundamentally disagree). Maybe she’s just the only woman T’Challa knows who A. has hair, B. isn’t related to him.

-In fact, it’s weird how the entire conflict in the movie is really between isolationism and outreach, yet there’s really no character representing or arguing for isolationism, not even any of the villains. T’Challa, I guess, but obviously he changes his mind. It seems like there should be a ‘devil on his shoulder’ type deal arguing for tradition. I think M’baku should’ve been that--the guy who slinks off into the shadows at the end, warning T’Challa that he’s coming for his ass because he opened up the borders and fucked with resurrection. (Five points to whoever gets that reference.) Instead, the conflict is lopsided because everyone seems to be against isolationism, they’re just differing in how.

-Actually, the whole thing of Wakanda following Killmonger just because he’s won this bullshit trial by combat because it’s tradition, and T’Challa urging them to follow him because it’s the right thing to do, could’ve been an okay take on that conflict, but instead apparently Wakanda legitimately wants to follow Erik and take over the world. And they just don’t spend enough time developing that.

-I also think they don’t spend enough time on T’Challa being depowered and kicked off the throne. It seems like there could be a really cool movie where, in the first fifteen or thirty minutes, Erik Killmonger shows up out of nowhere, kicks T’Challa’s ass, takes over Wakanda, and for the rest of the movie T’Challa is forced to rely on allies like Ross and M’baku who he can’t completely trust or rely on, and he has to fight his own people who are just trying to do the honorable thing, and he has to rethink being the Black Panther and earn that position instead of just having it handed to him. I’m pretty much describing the Don McGregor storyline this was adapted from. But, you know, why would you take that and add all this filler with Klaw and South Korea and such, and then skimp on the actual dramatic material? It’s like a version of Iron Man 3 where Tony’s house doesn’t get blown up until an hour and a half in, and then he immediately calls in the Iron Legion and goes to kick the Mandarin’s ass.

-Speaking of Korea, it seems a bit hypocritical to make this big production of being woke, then to throw in this inaccurate and ‘exotic’ side mission. It just seems like it’d be more thematic for this deal to be happening in Haiti or Jamaica or any other African country, somewhere where they could further comment on the story’s themes and develop them more. Maybe have the setting reflect what some of the characters want in terms of their goals, or fear happening to Wakanda? We kind of get that with the Boko Haram guys in the opening, but they’re dealt with so glibly (like muggers in a Batman movie) that it’s hard to see them as credibly a factor in any character’s thinking. Is T’Challa worried people like that will drag Wakanda down? Is Nakia determined to stop them? Seems like it was just something BP dealt with in ten seconds so he could hang out with this girl he likes.

-It’s funny that they follow in the steps of Ragnarok and Doctor Strange by dirtying up the heroes’ forebears--almost like that plot point is part of some formula 🤔 🤔 🤔 --yet still find time to white-wash a lot of Wakandan society. The Dora Milaje don’t have the underage, wives-in-training aspect. M’Baku and Nakia go from supervillains to frenemy and love interest, respectively. (Yeah, they turn W’kabi into a villain, but he beat his wife in the comics, so that’s not much of a stretch.) And yet, the plot relies on much of Wakanda being horrible people--willing to conquer the world, but not accept refugees. It’s a weird mix of utopianism and ‘uh, yeah, we still need to have a plot where the villain isn’t immediately dogpiled by all the average citizens who don’t like hyperwar.” Again, the Don McGregor storyline makes a point of Wakanda being a flawed, imperfect society, so it makes sense that Killmonger can take it over, but the movie is making the exact opposite point--Wakanda is so advanced and it’s so wonderful--and the plot doesn’t work anymore.

-To go into fanfic territory, it probably would’ve worked better if there were a significant amount of Wakandans who were pissed at T’Challa for letting Zemo live, because traditionally, someone who’d killed the King of Wakanda would be done, so it’s another divergence between what T’Challa finds moral and his country’s traditions. Just have M’baku say “you let your father’s killer live!” instead of “you failed to protect your dad!”

-I’ve also seen it suggested that Killmonger’s master plan could’ve involved finding Zemo, springing him from American custody, and then delivering him to Wakanda. That sounds a lot stronger, but it would also result in Zemo necessarily being taken off the board, and even a bastardized Zemo seems too important to the Marvel Unnie for that. Maybe he could have a cousin who’s really into their family history?

-I think there were a few too many characters in this story. Most of the ‘strong female characters’ just seemed to spend the finale getting their asses kicked by Killmonger, while Ross’s Top Gun moment seemed pointless when--if T’Challa won--it seems like he could just order the transport to turn back... what, were they going to start World War 3 the moment they left Wakanda’s borders?

-Like, did Angela Bassett actually do anything in this movie?

-Shuri, for instance, I think was so clearly intended to be ‘the meme one’ and just ended up ill-fitting in the MCU’s realistic milieu. I mean, this is a universe where Peter Parker isn’t much of a science nerd, he has a ‘guy at the computer’ to do his hacking for him and an AI to help him out and all that. Then over in Wakanda, you have a sixteen-year-old super-genius that’s the best scientist in the country and it clearly clashes with the grounded feel of the universe, but they just plow ahead with it anyway because “oh, it’ll get women interested in STEM, it’ll show black girls can do anything.” And she actually gets the better of T’Challa and razzes him with her ‘witty one-liners.’ I just find it really condescending. She’s basically a black female Wesley Crusher.

-Petty nitpick department: The first stinger is a dog. They end the movie SHOWING that T’Challa is revealing Wakanda to the world and using its technology and wealth to help out the underprivileged. Cool, got it, very clearly established all of that. Then after the first set of credits, we get a scene of... T’Challa going before the UN and TELLING that Wakanda is being revealed to the world and yadda yadda. It seems like the more natural scene would be him going up to Tony Stark or whatever and saying “hey, I’m joining the Avengers, and the next time there’s a problem, count me in!” But they cheaped out on getting RTD, so instead it’s just a less visually interesting presentation of a plot point we’ve already covered. This in a movie that was already very long and apparently left out crucial plot scenes.

-It’s also strange to have him give this big speech about how we’re all one tribe and we all have to come together, but a lot of his team seems at least casually racist? Like, you don’t see T’Challa saying “hey, M’baku, Ross was being pretty polite in addressing you, you didn’t need to bark at him like a dog just because he’s white” or “hey, sis, Ross is actually a buddy of mine and a pretty cool dude, maybe you shouldn’t greet him by calling him a racial slur?” I’m just saying, you wouldn’t see an X-Men movie where Jubilee is an unrepentant homophobe and all of the other mutants are cool with it.

-They set up that BP’s big special move is absorbing kinetic injury and then blasting it back out again, only it isn’t really clear how much he can take before it starts hurting him, if it ever hurts him. Like, could the Hulk punch him, then he gets up and walks it off, or would that break every bone in his body but leave his suit all glowy? I get that Captain America’s shield is unbreakable, so is BP walking around in an entire suit of that? And wouldn’t that make him invincible/boring? And for such a tactician of a character, they don’t really have him find any clever ways of using it, he just gets hit, uses the blast, moving on. You’d think there would be a scene where he does something counterintuitive or painful, but it’s just him thinking three steps ahead and charging up this power so he can use it at a crucial moment.

-It also adds to the video game feeling of a lot of the already pixel-y action scenes that he literally has a rage meter limit break thing.

-Petty nitpick department: The movie characterizes both Klaw and Killmonger as Joker-style wisecrackers, which makes me wonder what they’ll do for villains in a sequel, since that’s Reverend Achebe’s thing and he’s about the last big villain in Black Panther canon who isn’t either dead in the MCU or adapted into an ally. And three evil Cockney jokesters in a row seems like a lot.

(-I’ve heard Dr. Doom suggested for a villain, but I kinda doubt Marvel would job out T’Challa/Wakanda to him, and Doom really needs a W if he’s going to be Doom.)

-I also don’t think the movie really engaged with its premise of depicting an African society that had never been colonized. In the real world, racial dynamics vary enormously from America to Europe to Japan, but Wakanda pretty much has the same viewpoints that African-Americans would have: resenting white people, using American idioms (”Guess who just popped up on the radar?”), even quoting American memes. It seems like in real life, Wakanda would be more concerned with the rest of Africa instead of being obsessed with America. I mean, in the comic books, you had Wakandans with this sense of jingoism, who resent all outsiders, no matter their skin color. Them making a distinction between white Americans and black Americans (for instance) comes off like pandering.

-Like, they start off the movie with BP fighting Nigerian slavers who have taken a number of women hostage and conscripted child soldiers, and obviously BP is against that, but how does Killmonger feel about those guys? Zuri? M’baku? Black people oppressing black people in Africa seems like a more immediate concern than police shootings all the way over in Oakland, but the whole idea seems too complex to factor into this white oppression dynamic, so they just use them as action scene fodder and move on to black people oppressed, white people mean. Maybe that’s supposed to be Killmonger being hypocritical and prioritizing stuff that reminds him of his own suffering over other issues, but that needs to be played out in the text.

-Because it seems like a really obvious counterpoint to Killmonger that there are political situations much more complex than “evil oppressors vs. innocent oppressed”--just look at the Middle East--and hence his simplistically violent philosophy is doomed to fail. Instead, the movie kinda concedes that his position is right, he’s just going about it in the wrong way. Which I think is intellectually dishonest.

-Petty nitpick department: They have an entire bit about how Shuri has designed these soundproof boots for T’Challa, but he never uses them. In accordance with the rule of Chekov’s Gun, which states that if you show a gun in the first act, then in the third act, it should turn out that it’s only purpose was to be a dumb joke.

-Petty nitpick department: So this takes place immediately after Civil War, and Civil War ended with Captain America in Wakanda, but then they never mention him in this and he doesn’t seem to be hanging around. I guess he’s off freeing all his buddies from the Raft during all this? But then the stinger of this is Bucky having been revived, and he was frozen again in the stinger to Civil War. So I guess it goes Civil War >>> Black Panther >>> the stinger of Civil War >>> the stinger of Black Panther? Usually when continuity is this convoluted, Han is still alive.

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veryangryhedgehog · 7 years ago

Video

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“In Which a Mysterious Force is Given a Character, But not yet a Face”, an Ede Valley story by Hedgehog.

The Director was angry. Well, maybe angry wasn’t the right word, per say. When you had seen as much as she had, when you had been as patient as she had, it was hard to get truly angry. Bitter, frustrated maybe, but not angry.

How had she gotten to this point so quickly when the day had started out so well? She had risen from slumber with a large smile on her face; the new semester had started as St. Adelaide’s, many new students had arrived, and the next phase of her project was about to begin. The morning announcements had gone well as always. The bit of intrigue she held over the students’ heads always made her slightly giddy. But then there had been the meeting with the School Board.

When she had first founded St. Adelaide’s, more than forty years ago, now, she and she alone had controlled the school and everything that went on inside it. Unfortunately, the money had begun to dry up rather quickly and the Director had been forced to acquire investors. She had tried to maintain control for as long as she could, but in this world, money oftentimes carried more weight than deeds, and so, the School Board had been formed.

But the suits—as she called them—didn’t understand her, or her obsessive drive for science. All they saw were tables and focus groups and dollar signs. Frankly, it was beginning to make her rather grumpy.

“My father didn’t give his life for this project j-just to see it get thrown by the wayside!” She banged her fists on the long, skinny table, standing from her chair.

“We do not mean to offend your father’s memory,” the Head Suit replied patiently, using that calm, condescending voice one often employed when talking to young children. People tended to treat her that way a lot when they first met her face to face, underestimating her age and intelligence based on appearance alone. “But Project Paragon has yet to yield any profitable results.”

“No results?” The Director’s eyes flared. “No results? I’m living proof of what the Project is capable of.”

“And yet, you refuse access to these ‘results’ to anyone!” The Head Suit shook his head, exasperated.

One of the Lesser Suits leaned forward now as well. He was a young man, a go-getter, someone people claimed was going to “run the world someday”. The thought of this child in charge of anything scared the Director more than she could say. “Think of the advances for technology, for society we can create with your research,” he ventured, hoping to appeal to her sense of humanity.

The Director just laughed. It was a frightening thing, that laugh, one that could not belong to any wholly sane person. It sent shivers down the Suits’ spines. “Are you kidding me?” She gasped after a solid minute. ‘Advances for society? Nonsense! You just want to steal what’s rightfully mine and sell it. You don’t care about advances or consequences.” Several Suits made to protest, but the Director had spent far too much time dealing with their kind to fall for any of their honeyed words. “My research is not yet complete. Who knows what could happen if presented to the masses. And besides, there’s so much more to discover than your tiny minds are capable of comprehending. I will not allow the future to be ‘commercialized’.” She shuddered.

“Unfortunately,” the Head Suit attempted to regain control, “you are no longer solely in charge of the affairs of this academy. Now while I cannot legally demand you hand over all of your research, I can drain all the funds which you’ve been putting towards Project Paragon until which point the academy possesses the means to fund such an extensive study. I can guarantee you that that will not be for a very long time.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“We would.” The other suits nodded in agreement.

The Director had to clench her fists to keep herself from strangling his smug, pretentious face with his stupid tie. She fumed as her face grew red. But anger wouldn’t solve anything, she knew that. She ought to, after all these years. Anger led to a loss of control, and that was the last thing she needed right now.

“Then there’s nothing more to say.” Without waiting for a response, the Director strode from the room. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing her frustration.

As she fled to her sanctuary, the Director struggled to conceal her rage from the students and faculty that roamed the halls of St. Adelaide’s. None of them knew who she really was, at least, and she wanted to keep it that way. It was imperative to Project Paragon’s success that she blend in; it was the only true way to scope out potential candidates, and to get accurate test results.

Finally, she slammed the large doors of her sanctuary behind her and breathed deeply. This was the only place she felt truly relaxed. It was dark and quiet, and heavy, like a warm blanket. The Director weaved her way through the general clutter and dropped heavily behind her desk. She sighed, drumming her long, spider-like fingers along the wood grain. Why now of all times had the Suits decided to pull the plug? Just when she was so close to the final stage, just as the perfect candidate for Project Paragon had come to St. Adelaide’s. But she steeled herself. There was no sense in wallowing in misery. There was a way out of this, there had to be. And if there was any place she would think of it, it was here.

Patience, spoke the Truth in her mind. Remember that even one tiny push can bring a whole system to its knees.

Of course, yes. The Director let out the air she was holding as the inkling of a plan began to form in the folds of her mind. A butterfly’s wings could cause a storm on the other side of the world, and so too could she rid herself of the Suits and the dollar signs they’d tattooed onto the insides of their eyelids.

But could she really pull it off? If she herself made a singular move, the Suits would pounce on her in an instant. What she needed was a distraction, something to draw their attention while she completed the final phase of the project. After that, the whole charade of a school wouldn’t be necessary anymore.

What could she use? No, better yet, who could she use? The distraction would have to be something big, something no sane person would attempt. She could always use Bailey, she supposed, she had broken him a long time ago. But no, after all of the time she had spent on him, it seemed such a waste to throw him away like this, not when there was still so much she could do to him. He was broken, but not completely twisted apart. Not yet.

She thought for a moment, rummaging around her brain for all of her subjects, and potential subjects, and then stopped. A grin spread across her face, as she wiggled her fingers in excitement. Yes, that was perfect, someone who she’d been saving for a rainy day. That girl’s frustration had been pickling nicely from being locked up in this school for so long, and now it was time to take her demons for a spin.

Yes, the Director laughed to herself. It was all coming together. Her life’s work was nearly complete. Finally, Project Paragon would succeed for real. She would create... perfection.

#Ede Valley #St. Adelaide's #The Director #Listen Closely

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mirkwoodshewolf · 7 years ago

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Chapter 7; Team Cap vs Team Ironman

And here we go guys, the epic climax of CIVIL WAR. The battle between two teams that we all chose last year to submit our loyalties to *where be my fellow Team CAP members?* Anyways there is some intense feels towards the end so just a little heads up it will get a little emotional but the humor at the beginning is still there esp. once we’re introduced to a certain friendly neighborhood hero. Enjoy my lovelies :)

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Steve came out from the airport runway garage in full Captain America suit shield and all and when he saw the chopper, he ran towards it only to see something attack to it and fry out its circuits. In the sky Ironman slowly lowered his arm and flew down towards the ground with War Machine right by his side and as the two landed Tony said as his helmet came off and he turned to Rhodey.

“Wow, it’s so weird how you run into people at the airport, don’t you think that’s weird?”

“Definitely weird” said Rhodey.

“Hear me out Tony. That doctor, the psychiatrist, he’s behind all of this” said Steve. Suddenly leaping over and landing skillfully was Black Panther. As he stood up he told Steve.

“Captain”.

“Your highness”. From my position just a few feet away from the chopper on the south end hiding very well behind some packages and crates, I snarled lowly at Black Panther just itching to sink me fangs into him for what he did to me. It was then I heard the conversation pick up again from Tony.

“Anyway, Ross gave me 36 hours to bring you in, that was 24 hours ago. Can you help a brother out?”

“You’re after the wrong guy” stated Steve.

“Your judgement is askew. Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday”.

“And there are five more super soldiers just like him. I can’t let the doctor find them first Tony, I can’t”.

“Steve,” it was then Natasha came out from behind Steve and she continued, “You know what’s about to happen. Do you really wanna punch your way out of this one?” Silence rang out until Tony stated.

“Alright, I’ve run out of patience, Underoos!” Suddenly Steve’s shield was grabbed by some kind of webbing then Steve’s hands were bound by the same webbing and soon landing skillfully on top of one of the airport trucks wielding Steve’s shield was a kid around my height wearing some kind of red and blue spandex outfit with black wedding pattern around it. “Nice job kid”.

“Thanks. Well, I could’ve stuck the landing a little better. It’s…just the new suit…Well, it’s nothing, Mr. Stark it’s—it’s perfect, thank you”. The new guy stated then began to stammer.

“Yeah, we don’t really need to start a conversation”. Stated Tony.

“Okay. Cap—Captain. Big fan, I’m Spiderman”. The new guy saluted to Steve then introduced himself as Spiderman. Spiderman? Really?

“Yeah we’ll talk about it later just…”

“Hey everyone”. Spiderman said.

“Good job” Tony finished.

“You’ve been busy” stated Steve.

“And you’ve been a complete idiot. Dragging in Clint, rescuing Wanda from a place she doesn’t even want to leave, a safe place, I’m trying to keep—I’m trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart”. Tony said without losing his cool but Steve stated bluntly.

“You did that when you signed”.

“Alright we’re done. You’re gonna turn Barnes over, you’re gonna come with us, now, because it’s us! Or a squad of J-SOC guys with no compunction about being impolite! Come on”. Silence once again rang out until Sam’s voice came through our com-links.

‘We found it. Their quinjet’s in hanger five, north runway’. Steve then raised his hands in the air which gave Clint the signal to fire his arrow to free him from his bounds. Steve let out a loud whistle and exclaimed.

“Fetch girl!” I rolled my eyes briefly for that being my signal but I launched from my position and tackled Spiderman in my wolf form baring my fangs at him.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, nice doggy good—good doggy. Uhh guys little help here!” When I felt he had enough, I got off him and grabbed Steve’s shield and trotted back to him and gave him his shield back.

“Atta girl (y/n)” as an added bonus, I got a gently pet and ruffle on the head.

“So she plays fetch huh?” Scott said now standing beside Steve in his full Antman suit. I growled at him and he backed away.

“I wouldn’t go around saying that Scott, she hates being treated like a dog”.

“All right, there’s two on the parking deck, one of them’s Maximoff I’m gonna grab her. Rhodey, you wanna take Cap?” Tony stated as he and Rhodey began flying in the air.

“Got two in the terminal. Wilson and Barnes”.

“Barnes is mine!” T’Challa stated as he took off running towards the airport.

Oh over my dead body will you get to him, besides I have a score to settle with you putty tat.

I charged after the king and managed to get bring him down from behind. I snarled and threw him aside before standing in front of him blocking his path to get to Bucky-bear. My tail raised high in the air, fur ruffled madly, ears bent far back against my head and my fangs fully bared and snarling.

“Move Raksha. I won’t ask a second time”. He sneered. But I stood my ground then the two of us launched at each other like missiles and I managed to lay a hard bite onto his arm drawing blood as pay back for him scarring my face back in Bucharest.

T’Challa tried to scratch me across the face again but I released him just in time then I quickly phased into my human form and did a flying sidekick right into his chest knocking him down.

I had him pinned to the ground with my fangs extended outward showing him I meant business.

“You want Bucky, you’re gonna have to kill me first!” I snarled as my eyes phased to my wolf ones. Suddenly I was distracted by one of Rhodey’s weapons that almost resembled my resonance howl.

I let out a painful cry as the piercing echo hurt my sensitive ears and through that distraction, T’Challa kicked me off of him sending me skidding across the runway.

I glared up to see Rhodey take out one of his weaponry sticks that would send high voltages of electricity towards anything it touched and he said to me.

“I’m sorry (n/n) this won’t kill you but it ain’t gonna be a belly rub either”. I lifted myself up just as he came towards me but before I could jump out of the way, Steve came out of nowhere and defended me with his shield.

“Go (y/n)! I can handle these two. Go help Sam and Bucky they need you!” I nodded and said.

“Just try not to blow anything up while I’m gone” I then took off running and saw a hole at the side of the building.

I backed up a few feet then took a running start before leaping up into the air and gracefully jumped through the hole to hear the sound of crunching poles and shattering glass.

As I ran through the terminal, I saw Spiderman kneeling on top of one of the directories and heard him say to Sam and Bucky.

“Guys look, I’d love to keep this up but I’ve only got one job here today and I gotta impress Mr. Stark, so, I’m really sorry”. But when he didn’t expect was to suddenly hear a wolf bark which suddenly sent him flying out of the airport screaming.

Next thing they know, both Sam and Bucky pinned down by the spider webs look up to see me standing in my wolf form wagging my tail in amusement.

“You couldn’t have come earlier Wolfie?” asked Bucky. I tilted my head cutely like a puppy dog and hopped down from the bridge down to them and used my claws to free Bucky’s hand of the webbing before turning to Sam and lowering my fangs towards his chest.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! How come he gets your claws but I get your vicious teeth!?” I only eyed him telling him I could just leave him like this if I wanted to.

“Because she likes me better, right Wolfie” stated Bucky smugly as he rubbed my ear making me grunt lovingly and lean into his scratching. I then gently freed Sam from the webbing using my teeth then phased back into my human form.

“We don’t have much time, we gotta get to the chopper and fast”. Then the three of us took off running outside the airport and met with the rest of the team.

As we all ran towards the quinjet, an orange beam suddenly shot a few feet in front of us stopping us in our tracks and floating above us was Vision.

“Captain Rogers, I know you believe what you’re doing is right. But for the collective good, you must surrender now”. He stated just as all of Team Ironman soon stood in front of us blocking our path. We all stood together as a pack when Sam asked Steve.

“What do we do Cap?” asked Sam.

“We fight” Steve answered.

It all began with a walk towards each other, then a trot until finally we all ran/flew towards each other full force until we all met with our opponents in battle. Everyone had someone to fight against or two members would team up to fight one person.

I fought alongside Wanda to help get Spider man down to the ground and fight like a real man and not stay up in his web. She used her powers to lift me up into the air and I quickly wrapped my legs around his neck and threw him down towards the runway.

I then landed on top of him pinning him down but he quickly flipped over and kicked me in the gut and used his webs to get up on a terminal bridge.

“Did not see that coming from you but I gotta say that was awesome!”

“Were you expecting anything else?”

“Well to be honest I thought you’d stay in that wolf form of yours that Stark always said you’d prefer to fight in”.

“Well there’s a lot that Stark doesn’t tell you and it’s that I use my wolf form for when things are personal, right now you’re no more of a threat to me than a spider on the wall”. I charged at him but he suddenly flipped in the air and used his webbing to capture both my hands.

I was suddenly dragged backwards and then kicked in the face and sent flying towards one of the trucks. I yelped out and landed on my arms and knees panting.

“Luckily he told me your pride can sometimes be your downfall, good thing too huh?” My eyes phased gold in anger but I took a deep breath and stood back up and said to him.

“Tony tell you anything else?”

“That you were once good, but you sided with the wrong side. That makes you a Bad Wolf”. I smirked then as another webbing came for my hand, I gripped the end of it and tugged on it hard sending Spiderman straight towards me.

Once he got close enough, I kicked him in the face as payback before gripping him in a chokehold and he was now begging for mercy.

“Wait, wait, wait hold on a sec! You sure we can’t work this out together over a candlelit dinner? I mean we’re both animals in a way. We can come to an agreement right, Wolfie?” I chuckled icily and said.

“You’re real cute but I don’t go interspecies, plus I don’t date those who threaten my pack”. I then extended my claws out and clawed at his chest before leaping up and kicking him in both the back of the head and his back sending him to the ground. “And tell Stark that I’m done with him”.

If Stark had the nerve to call me by my Hydra name, then I officially don’t want any part of him anymore. Hearing Spiderman say that Tony had called me that officially now broke my heart and I was now done with him.

I sighed deeply and took off running back towards and saw Wanda battling War Machine. I let out a growl then phased into wolf form and let out a resonance howl to send him flying. I turned to Wanda and she looked at me with sad eyes.

I tilted my head in confusion and she cupped my face in her hands and she said.

“You love and are willing to do anything to help Bucky, aren’t you?” I nodded then she said with a smile sadly with tears in her eyes. “Then go with him”. My ears and eyes perked up in shock.

She wanted me to leave her behind and go with Bucky. I whimpered and looked at her sadly telling her that even though I would die to defend Bucky, I wasn’t going to let her take the fall and let the government lock away the only family member I had left.

I lost Big Grey, I couldn’t lose Mama Bear too.

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine. He needs you even more than I do. Go with him. Go! And know that I will always love and be with you Wolfie” Just as I phased into my human form to tell her no, she placed her hand on my back and soon red mystic energy began to lift me up into the air.

“No, Wanda! Wanda! No, no, no, Mama Bear!” I exclaimed as her hand that was holding mine slowly released me as I was too high for her and she began to take control full control as she then gently tossed me to where Bucky and Steve were at.

I was then caught in two arms, one human and one metal and I could barely register Bucky’s voice as he was asking me if I was alright. I just stared outwards in utter shock and sorrow.

How could she?

“We gotta go. That guy’s probably in Siberia by now” Bucky said.

“We gotta draw out the flyers, I’ll take Vision you and (y/n) get to the jet”.

‘No. You get to the jet! All three of you! The rest of us aren’t getting out of here’ Sam’s voice said through our comms.

‘As much as I hate to admit it…if we’re gonna win this one, some of us might have to lose it’. Clint’s voice said.

‘This isn’t the real fight Steve!’ Sam’s voice said again. Steve and Bucky looked to each other and understood that they had to do what they had to do, with or without the rest of the team.

“Alright Sam, what’s the play?”

‘We need a diversion, something big!’

‘I got something kinda big. But I can’t hold it very long. On my signal, run like hell. And if I tear myself in half, don’t come back for me’ Scott’s voice said.

“He’s gonna tear himself in half?” questioned Bucky.

“You sure about this Scott?” Steve asked.

‘I do it all the time. I mean once, in a lab. And then I passed out’. What shook me out of my shocked state was seeing a humungous Scott Lang grabbing Rhodey by the leg and I heard his gigantic, and boisterous laughing.

“I guess that’s the signal” said Steve.

‘Way to go Tic-Tac!’ Sam exclaimed. Bucky turned to me and he said to me.

“(Y/n), you okay? Can you move?” I looked to him and tried to focus back on the task at hand.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. We gotta go now!” The three of us soon took off running around the battle field and headed towards the quinjet.

As we got closer to Hanger five, a beam of light suddenly shot at the upper hanger of the building sending the tower down. I knew in my gut it was Vision but just before the debris covered the entrance, red mystic energy stopped it in its place and Wanda’s voice rang in my head.

‘Don’t stop Wolfie, keep going! I love you’. A tear ran down my face as I thought back.

‘I love you too Mama Bear. And I’m sorry’. But as we got closer, her red energy vanished almost as if she was being stopped and I immediately phased into my wolf form out of heartbreak and rage and I scooped up both Steve and Bucky onto my back and ran through the falling debris only to be stopped by Natasha.

I snarled loudly and bared my fangs at her as she only stared at us and said to Steve.

“You’re not gonna stop?”

“You know I can’t” said Steve.

“I’m gonna regret this,” she held out her arm towards me and I lowered my head daring her to shoot one of her electro-daggers at me but it went past me and I heard a groan behind me. I turned to see it was Black Panther she had shot at, not me. “Go, get them on board (y/n)”.

I nodded in gratitude then I ran towards the quinjet and both super soldiers got off my back and we all ran up the ramp and Steve began to start it up.

As we began the takeoff, Steve fired at the debris to clear a path for us to fly out of and once we had the room, Steve took us out and we began our flight to Siberia. I soon took notice of Rhodey coming up towards and I said.

“Steve we got company”.

“Alright hang on”. He then began to press on the gas and soon we were out of range.

“What’s gonna happen to your friends?” Bucky asked. My eyes closed as I began to think about Wanda. She had sacrificed her freedom for mine just like Pietro sacrificed his life for me.

“Whatever it is—I’ll deal with it” said Steve solemnly.

“I don’t know if I’m worth all this, Steve”. I turned to him as Steve said to him after a moment of silence.

“What you did all those years, wasn’t you. You didn’t have a choice”.

“I know….but I did it”. Even though I was aware of what was being said between the two WW2 buddies, my mind kept drifting back to Wanda. I should’ve held on tighter or stopped her when I could’ve.

I failed Pietro’s wish and now because of me Wanda will lose her freedom and be locked away like some circus freak like I was before any of this happened.

I must’ve been so far out of it because I was sniffling and tears were pouring down my face like a waterfall as soft whimpers came out of my throat. It was then I felt a hand gently stroke my hair and I froze in my spot. A cold, metal hand gently took one of my hands and a cold thumb stroked across my knuckles with such tenderness it was almost unreal.

I felt myself being brought into a black armored chest and a head rested on top of mine as the human hand kept gently petting me. I soon relaxed and gripped onto Bucky as hard and as tightly as I could before I fell asleep due to exhaustion.

#captain america civil war #captain america fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x teen reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x teen reader #bad wolf #wanda maximoff x reader

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