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true-blue-megamind · 4 years ago

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FAN THEORY THURSDAY: Megamind’s Connections Beyond the Film

Before we get started, it’s time for the obligatory SPOILER WARNING!

In case this hasn’t been made sufficiently obvious by the fact that this is a post about Megamind written in a fan theory series about Megamind and published on a blog dedicated solely to Megamind, please let me just assure that this article is, in fact, about Megamind.

If you haven’t seen the film yet yet, I have to question why you’re reading this in the first place. As well as your taste in animated movies. I’m definitely questioning that.

Over the years I’ve heard several fan theories concerning connections between the film Megamind and various other forms of media. Today, let’s delve into just a few.

The first one is so obvious it’s almost painful, but it has to be mentioned. Megamind is a Superman spoof. Metro Man is clearly based on the Man of Steel himself, with a hefty dose of Elvis Presley and a larger range of character flaws thrown in for good measure. (He also seems to contain quite a lot of the Popular Jock archetype.) The character of Megamind is more complex still, combining elements of Alice Cooper and a nineties Goth theater kid with several comic book supervillains. The best known of the last include alien genius Brainiac and mad inventor Lexx Luthor, but they aren’t the only ones. Some of Megamind’s engineering and technological inventions call to mind Spiderman villain Doctor Octopus even more than Lexx Luthor, and he also shares some parallels with the mad inventor Dr. Sivana in the SHAZAM comics.

Megamind’s most notable of the latter is the similarity of attitudes toward society. Both Megamind and Dr. Sivana started off trying to use their inventions for good—the first in the classroom and the second for the betterment of mankind—but both became bitter when people mocked and shunned them. For Dr. Sivana, this led to a desire to conquer all of Earth while for Megamind, in a sort of microcosm, it led to a similar drive to take over Metro City. Both Lexx Luthor and Dr. Sivana have, perhaps, the strongest connections to Megamind as share, deep down, a desire to help or protect mankind, and as Lexx Luthor, like Megamind, harbors a secret love for the reporter damsel in their respective stories. (This desire to do good, especially in the face of corrupt officials, ties into another Megamind fan theory that I will likely discuss in more detail in a later post.)

The connection between Megamind and Alice Cooper, by the way, was extremely intentional. The creators stated in an interview that, like Alice Cooper, Megamind’s dark, evil self is, in fact, a stage persona. (Even their clothing, consisting largely of black leather and spikes, is similar.) That fact is illustrated in the film as we can see that Megamind’s behaviors on- and off-camera tend to be vastly different. Even as a villain, he is merely playing a role, although in the case of Megamind that role has begun to merge with his self-identity.

There are, however, hints within the world of DreamWorks that Megamind has other connections as well. The first is fairly recent and intensely interesting. In the Rise of the Guardians, Jamie Bennett, a young boy who still steadfastly believes in the seemingly impossible, mentions “aliens in Michigan,” only to be scoffed at by his friends. Because Metro City is located in Michigan, (as can be seen briefly when the Death Ray is fired from space,) many fans theorize that the “aliens in Michigan” are none other than Megamind, Minion, and, perhaps, Metro Man.

This would indicate that the two stories take place in the same world, and that Megamind’s adventures, while well-known in Metro City itself, have been covered up and kept secret from the rest of the world. (Imagine moving to a moderately-sized city only to discover that—surprise!—there’s an extraterrestrial supervillain in residence and, oh, by the way, if you live downtown homeowners’ insurance is ridiculous!)

The second inter-film connection is less clear, but has spawned some interesting fan theories as well. The idea is that, like Rise of the Guardians, Monsters VS. Aliens also takes place in the same reality as Megamind. It’s not too far fetched—after all, both films involve extraterrestrials and amazing inventions—but there is one specific theory that really ties the two together. Consider this for a moment: Megamind is a blue alien with incredible intelligence who hails from a destroyed planet. Does that sound like any other DreamWorks character you know? If you’ve seen Monster VS. Aliens, the antagonist, Gallaxhar, probably springs to mind.

According to Fandom.com, Gallaxhar’s official backstory is that he “destroyed his home planet” for the implied reason that “he experienced bad childhood and unhappy marriage.” The fan theory is that that Gallaxhar’s planet was, in fact, Megamind’s home world, and that the former created or harnessed the black hole which destroyed it. This would explain why Megamind’s people—as well as Metro Man’s—didn’t have time to escape despite being space-faring. You see, black holes take millions of years to develop, and even a rogue black hole would take about a million to shift and swallow an entire solar system, so if the event had occurred naturally, there should have been plenty of time to build an entire fleet of spacecraft and leave for Earth or another safe planet. (The fact that Megamind’s parents set his escape pod’s navigation system for Earth indicates that they knew of its existence.)

Of course, despite their large heads and blue skin tones, there are quite a few physical differences between Megamind and Gallaxhar. The first is humanoid while the second has four eyes and tentacles instead of legs. Fan theories have explanations for that, too, however.

There appear to be two schools of thought on the subject. The first is that Gallaxhar was another breed of alien living on the planet, possibly a servile race different from Minions, and the second is that part of Gallaxhar’s “bad childhood” involved being experimented upon, thus giving him his bizarre appearance and his seeming obsession with experimenting on others. (There is some disagreement in the Megamind fandom about exactly why Gallaxhar was subjected to such treatment, ranging from falling into the hands of an unscrupulous scientist to being part of an experimental medical program. The latter fan theory suggests that Gallaxhar was both blind and paraplegic, and that his additional eyes and tentacle “legs” were meant to rectify that, but that those physical differences made him an outsider, thus leading to his unhappy life and ultimate hatred for his own planet.)

If that were true, many may wonder what, exactly, Megamind might do if he ever found out about Gallaxhar. Well, good news! Just like there’s an app for everything, there’s a fan theory for that, too! I will warn you, however, that this one is, frankly, build upon pretty thin evidence. However, it’s interesting enough to be worth relating.

There is a character in Monsters VS. Aliens named General Warren R. Monger who, on the surface, is exactly what he appears to be: a high-ranking military man. However, there are a few things that fans point to as possible evidence that Monger isn’t what he seems.

The first is so simple that, alone, it would be inconsequential. Monger rose through the ranks uncommonly fast, so much so that it caused some comment among others. The second is significantly odder; Monger claims to be ninety years old despite looking like he is in his late forties. Now, of course, this may have simply been the character exaggerating or messing with the “monsters” under his care, but some fans say it’s more than that, and claim that Monger chose that age because he was unfamiliar with human lifespans. Next there is the fact that Monger is so intelligent that, despite one of the beings in his containment facility. Doctor Cockroach, being a super-genius, Monger outwits every escape attempt the monsters can make. Then, of course, there is the fact that, despite his brusque manner, Monger seems to actually sympathize with the inhuman people he is charged with containing, and even pushes for them to be given a chance to prove themselves. There is the oddity that, although he is assigned to the secret military base at “Area Fifty-Something,” Monger seems to disappear a lot, often for days at a time. Finally, there are a few key physical and technological attributes: Monger has some odd and incredibly energetic facial expression—including a nearly maniacal smile and a dark scowl—as well as a jet pack that he appears to have constructed himself and green eyes.

I’m still not certain I see the resemblance, but maybe there are some similarities? What do you think?

If you’re familiar with Metro City’s resident blue alien, you can probably see where this is going. Although it’s not a popular theory, I’ve heard it suggested in the Megamind fandom that Monger is, in fact, Megamind disguised using his holowatch. (This is why the green eyes are significant; Megamind’s eye color is the only aspect of his appearance that the holowatch doesn’t change. However, I feel compelled to note that the shade of green appears to be different.) Fans insist that it would have been easy for someone as incredibly brilliant as Megamind to hack government systems and forge documents such as birth certificates thoroughly enough to dupe even U.S. Military Intelligence. The two jet packs, some have contested, look different either because of the disguise or because the one featured in Monster VS. Aliens is an older model. I’ve even seen the fact that both Megamind and Monger begin with M being pointed to as possible evidence that the latter is no more than an invention of the former.

The argument is as follows: as Monsters VS. Aliens takes place in 2009, one year before events in Megamind, it’s possible that Megamind, still being a villain, created an alter-ego which he could use to help him search for and deal with other alien life. (He is shown to be painfully lonely, and the Megamind comics reveal his desperate desire to find other survivors from his home planet.) Upon figuring out who Gallaxhar was, and more importantly what he had done, Megamind wanted to be part of taking him down. But he couldn’t be too open about it; he was, after all, still a “Bad Guy.” This theory explains Monger’s frequent long absences—during those time Megamind was back in Metro City taking care of his regular business— as well as why Monger had a secret soft spot for the “monsters.” Megamind, having always been treated like a monster himself, would naturally want to give them a chance, but wouldn’t dare behave in too overtly friendly a manner as it would have aroused suspicion.

As I said, support for that particular theory is, perhaps, a little thin, especially given the fact the Monsters VS. Aliens preceded Megamind, so character designs from the former are unlikely to have been influenced by the latter. Nonetheless, I admit to appreciating the complexity and creativity of it. It’s an undeniably fun theory. If they haven’t already, maybe someone will write a fan fiction about it one day.

Those are only a few of the theories out there connecting Megamind with other fandoms. One could go on and on about the subject, but I won’t torture readers by doing that. Nonetheless, it illustrates once again the immense love and original thought that Megamind fans put into developing their theories! I dare say that few other animated movies have earned a following so dedicated and inventive… But, then, any of us who love the film Megamind will tell you that it has more than earned the consideration!

#Megamind #Megamind fan theory #Megamind movie #Megamind fan theories #comic books #comic book #superheroes #supervillain #DreamWorks #DWA #Monsters vs Aliens #Rise of the Guardians #Rise Guardians #Monsters #Aliens

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softluci · 3 years ago

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they’re cute

because of who i am as a person, i like to think that the brothers don't all hate each other and that they each take time to be, like, affectionate with each other, in their own ways. i think when there's no one around, they are very much cute with each other. this is just a set of headcanons for that because i just think the dynamic between each brother is neat ^_^

this got to be longer than i thought it’d be, so i’m gonna make separate posts; this one will be for lucifer, and as i complete the rest, i’ll link them here :]

(i) lucifer

he likes to be affectionate with mammon by embarrassing him because he would prefer to make it seem like he’s having fun at his brother’s expense (“expense”). he doesn’t know mammon caught onto this pattern centuries ago and is now pretending to be embarrassed. like how lions overreact when their cubs attack them. he will literally make up excuses to bother mammon in front of people. some days, he’ll make a fuss over mammon’s uniform and make a point of fixing it in the middle of rad, some days he suddenly doesn’t know why mammon’s hair is so “unkempt,” and he’ll be compelled to “fix it,” in front of their brothers, etc, etc. and because it’s canon that mammon is his favorite—not just that he thinks mammon is the cutest, but that mammon is legitimately his favorite and always has been—he’s the one lucifer is the most physically affectionate with, and he’s the only person who can (and always could) touch lucifer without resistance.

levi doesn’t really get any physical affection, but that’s mainly because lucifer has a (correct) feeling that levi wouldn’t like it if he touched him. that’s okay though because lucifer l*ves his family and knows how to accommodate all of them. instead, he’ll get levi to talk to him about his interests, but in the most annoying, roundabout way. this is so the conversations last as long as possible. rather than being a normal person and saying something like, “what’s that new [form of media] you’ve been talking about? tell me about it,” he’ll be like, “what’s the big deal about this thing anyway? you’ve been talking about it nonstop, i don’t see why,” or “who are these characters you’re so obsessed with, they don’t seem special at all.” and it literally works every time. it works Every Time. this is in part because, unbeknownst to lucifer, levi knows that this is his only manner of having lengthy conversations with him, and lucifer just wants to hear him talk. the other part is that levi feels personally attacked and feels obligated to defend his interests.

satan gets the exact same treatment as levi, more or less, except when lucifer challenges satan’s interests or knowledge of certain things, he can expect a full debate, rather than the lecture he would get from levi. satan only puts up with it because he knows good and well that this is how lucifer likes to spend time with him. you’ll never hear it from him, but he enjoys their debates a lot, albeit he hasn’t won one yet (they always end in a draw, after several hours of lucifer twisting statements and playing devil’s advocate because he knows satan is right, but he just wants to force him to prove it. like the time he spent two hours arguing that the notebook is a good movie, which would’ve been more fun if satan wasn’t literally about to rip his hair out by the end of it.)

for asmo, i think it’s canon that lucifer helps him get ready sometimes, but i also like to think that lucifer will take a day and ask asmo to help him go shopping for new clothes or skincare, even though he knows he doesn’t need it. he just knows asmo likes to help with that sort of thing, and he likes seeing asmo get so happy over being able to help him. he has so many extra ties, dress shirts, pants, colognes, that he hasn’t gotten to use/wear yet because he buys whatever asmo tells him to, and they do this more often than they should, even though it isn’t often at all. lucifer also knows that asmo likes to gossip and will tell lucifer about half of the rad population within a few hours. asmo has no idea that lucifer enjoys gossip also and as well and thinks the complexities of the all the drama are all incredibly amusing, albeit he hides it by saying he needs to know everything that goes on, which is true. interestingly enough, asmo’s knowledge of the devildom’s population is so extensive that, even though this was never his goal, lucifer has learned about a number of interesting things that dia would absolutely love to hear about. for example, did you know a handful of lords were planning on staging a coup a couple years back? it was never going to work, of course, but how dare they, you know? anyway, lucifer didn’t know until asmo mentioned something about one of his friends planning to stay in the human world for a century or two. it’s amazing, the things you can learn between clothing racks.

beel is arguably the only person lucifer can spend time with in an honest manner. beel is a very easy person to be around, he’s the most honest out of his little brothers, he hardly ever teases lucifer—if it weren’t for mammon, beel would be his favorite. anyway, lucifer is not a renowned chef or baker like barbatos or luke, but he is still a force of nature whenever he’s in a kitchen, believe that🗣 he still has a host of recipes from the celestial realm just sitting in his brain, and what he Used to do was order/pick-up the ingredients and Then ask beel if he wanted to cook with him (so that they could start right away), until one fateful day when beel already had plans. lucifer was in Pieces. shattered. he had the ingredients set up in the kitchen and everything. anyway he asks first and then gets the ingredients now; it ruins the surprise, but it’s better than being fully heartbroken. while they’re cooking, in between making sure he doesn’t eat the ingredients, lucifer will ask how he’s doing, how his day/week is going, and they will have a regular degular conversation, which is literally all lucifer could want. he learns a lot about beel from these conversations, and while he never shows it, he’s surprised by what he learns each time. like, one time they were making dinner together and lucifer learned that most of the people on beel’s team have/had a crush on him. it made lucifer rethink every single interaction he’s ever seen between beel and his teammates. all of those times they smacked his ass during games…

belphie is, unsurprisingly, the most difficult person for lucifer to spend time with or be affectionate with, even though he really wouldn’t have to do a lot. however, it is very convenient that belphegor is asleep for, like, eighteen hours a day because lucifer will save his affection for when his youngest brother is asleep. if he sees belphie in a position that doesn’t look comfortable, or that just can’t be healthy, he’ll readjust him. if there’s a blanket nearby, he’ll put one over him, or if there are none, he’ll use his coat. he’ll sit near him while he sleeps and do some work, he’ll pet his head, he’ll watch him sleep for a little bit, and sometimes—albeit few and far in between—he’ll talk to him. in the softest voice you’ll ever hear, lucifer will talk about his day, all of the work he’d rather not do, what happened at the meals belphie missed. he’ll talk about how sorry he is about how things turned out, how sorry he is that he can’t do this when he’s awake, how he really, truly loves his youngest brother. what he doesn’t know, and will never know, is that belphie isn’t always asleep.

#obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me!#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me scenarios

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starsandsteelandbrokenglass · 4 years ago

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Retellings Ranked: Cinderella

As a huge fairytale fan, I read a lot of retellings, and Cinderella is a classic. Here are my thoughts on those retellings! (Please don’t come after me for rating your favorite retelling badly, reading is subjective, etc. Post periodically updated.)

A Good Time!

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine- We all love the movie, and the book is excellent too! Meant for a slightly younger audience, if I remember correctly, but carries a lot of the same themes as the movie, though I can’t remember exactly how close the plot follows.

Mechanica by Betsy Cornwell- Steampunk-esque, inventor Cinderella! A move away from the focus on romance! Some social justice metaphors that are possibly more dicey than I remember but worked pretty well as far as my memory extends. Slow-paced, and does actually do some new things with the story.

Stepsister by Jennifer Donnelly- Possibly the most interesting take on the stepsisters that I’ve seen, without villainizing Cinderella (if I remember correctly), which was neat. Wide variety of female characters so there’s not one box they’re put into, which is a good time.

Pros/Cons

Ash by Malinda Lo- WLW Cinderella! Love to see it! And reasonably well done. My biggest problem with this one was that it felt like it could’ve been a lot more fleshed out in almost every aspect (characters, world, plot). But it was still a good read, very classic, had good themes and messages about love and grief.

Cinder by Marissa Meyer- First in a series, of which I actually preferred some of the later books. Cybernetic Cinderella, which is very cool, and blends fairytales with sci-fi in extremely neat ways. Does not do a great job with diversity, but does sort-of try.

Cinderella is Dead by Kalynn Bayron- Another sapphic Cinderella! Love the take on fairytales (and stories more generally) as propaganda, and a good variety of complex female characters! A bit heavy-handed on the anti-patriarchy messaging, but sometimes, you gotta be.

I Don’t Remember Anything, But I Gave it 3/5 Stars

Before Midnight by Cameron Dokey- Arguably belongs in the category above because I actually rated it 4/5 stars but I truly remember nothing. I enjoyed it I guess.

...Pass

The Ugly Stepsister by Ava Ling- Honestly I don’t remember much about this, but I only rated it 2 stars. Pretty sure the characterization was flat and the concept kinda cheesy, which can work, but didn’t here.

Sinful Cinderella by Anita Valle- This is largely on me because I knew I wouldn’t like this and I definitely only read it because it was free on iBooks and I didn’t have access to any new physical books while I was abroad. Anyway, Cinderella is edgy and Bad I guess. So is this novella.

The Captive Maiden by Melanie Dickerson- Cinderella but with Christian heavy themes. In this category partly for being kinda heavy-handed with the “God is the answer” moral but honestly mostly for doing pretty much nothing new with the story.

The Stepsister’s Tale by Tracy Barrett- Barrett shows up with some frequency on my retellings list and never seems to make it very high. Sorry, ma’am, I think your style just might not vibe with me. I remember this mostly being boring. And pushing the role reversal a little too hard. (Though we do love to see eventual female solidarity.)

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire- I do really like the idea of putting fairytales into real historical settings and 17th century Holland is a cool and unusual place to do it. But I wasn’t comfortable with the way mental illness was handled and honestly none of the characters were that interesting :(

Want to see more of my thoughts? Check out Retellings Ranked: Greco-Roman Mythology, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty, Classic Literature

#mine #reading #retellings ranked #cinderella #fairytales #book recs

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mrwinterr · 4 years ago

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3AM

Pairing: Leo West x Female Reader

Summary: You should go home, but you always end up in his room and this time he isn’t letting you walk away from him again.

Warnings: Smut 18+ (consensual sex, unprotected sex, oral [female receiving], hand job, vaginal fingering, cum play, cock warming and dirty talk). Pillow talk. Language. Angst, I guess. & mentions of alcohol.

Disclaimer: Minor elements of the film Ibiza (2018) are present in this. More like one or two out of context spoilers. It wouldn’t really ruin the movie. You don’t have to watch it to read this.

Title Inspiration: “3AM” by You Me At Six

A/N: I caved. I’ve finally written something for one of Richard Madden’s characters. Personally, I would’ve never watched Ibiza, but it was on Netflix, I was on furlough from my job, and quite frankly Leo West is fucking perfect.

Deep breaths. Deep and calculated breaths. For some reason you paid more attention to your breathing when inebriated. Your eyelids felt extra heavy as you struggled to not only keep them open, but also your line of vision straight. The pores of your body were seeping out sweat from the copious amount of alcohol you’d consumed. The air was stuffy, and you kept sniffling.

You wanted to blame the last part solely on the alcohol too, but you couldn’t escape the real reason that drove you to spend hours at a bar in the first place. Historically speaking, you liked to enjoy yourself, maybe a bit more than others, and while it was reckless, that lifestyle introduced you to one of your favorite things on this planet. It wasn’t the drinks, the substances or the sex, but a humble, very talented now turned international superstar DJ.

It led you to Leo West.

It was at a small, dark club on a busy weekend. You were closing in on finals week and what better way to de-stress than a night out on the street. Your friends opted for this particular joint because of the aesthetic, but you didn’t care about its appearance. It was a bar nonetheless, the place always catered to live music and you loved that.

You remembered how puzzling it was to not see the usual instruments, like that of a guitar or a drum kit or a set of keyboards or even a lone microphone stand on the makeshift stage that had one dimmed spotlight. Instead, there was just a table with a case, a laptop, a turntable and a pair of headphones displayed on top of it. Oh, and lots of wires and buttons and knobs everywhere!

Great. A wannabe DJ was scheduled tonight that would most likely go overkill on the bass and damage your eardrums. You weren’t drunk enough to stick around for this, so you walked back to the bar, hoping if you got a few more drinks in you then maybe the “DJ” wouldn’t sound as bad as you were expecting.

Claiming a spot, drink in hand, your eyes started scanning the small capacity crowd until they locked on a man and his path up to the stage and behind the setup. The intro music he picked out started playing, but it fell deaf on your ears. And your whole world just stopped when he looked up, the first of many “performer-to-audience” eye contact that night. He just couldn’t keep his eyes off you each time he looked into the small crowd. It all but allowed you a better look at him.

He wasn’t as defined back then, the t-shirt hung loose on his body, but he was still built nicely. His hair was curlier, definitely didn’t have the money to have it styled and cut or dyed, no trace of the signature gray streak in the front, nor was it maintained like it was now. He was very handsome. And his voice, when he spoke into the microphone clumsily, your heart melted. He wasn’t from here, and you wondered how the world brought this cute, awkward guy all the way from Scotland here to you.

When his set ended, he appeared next to you at the bar ordering a drink. He looked over at you and smiled sheepishly. He was adorable. You were done. You were always a confident person, and you mentally cursed yourself for even feeling like this. You didn’t do serious relationships. There just wasn’t any time for one in your life right now. You were young, still are, and the only thing you’d wanted from anyone was a distraction here and there.

He told you his name. You told him yours. He commented on the necklace you were wearing. You complimented his set. You even teased him about seeing him trip over one of his wires. He thought no one was paying attention, but you were. The two of you talked and talked until last call and the bartenders were begging you both to leave so they could close up shop.

That led you to his place. You learned he’d transferred from overseas to study music and was looking to break out in this country. He wanted to make it big time. You admired him for that. Then there you were pathetically telling him your small-town goals, it seemed dull compared to his, but Leo never wanted to make you feel that way as his words assured you that they weren’t and only encouraged you further.

The attraction wasn’t lost between you two either. You didn’t go home that night. You stayed and what was supposed to be one turned into many nights tangled in one another. You frequented his bed often to the point it looked official to everyone - except it never was. Leo made it loud and clear he wanted to be with you, but you kept bypassing his proclamations. He became none but a standby in your haze.

He just made it too easy to feel. With him everything was easy; not a care in the world, just you and him. It could and should be just that - easy - but your heart and mind didn’t ever make it that way for you. They wanted two different things. Your heart wanted Leo, but your mind said it wasn’t worth it.

He’d make it big one day, no doubt about that. He got good each and every set you saw him put on. He’d travel more, settle in a much more exciting area, find someone who could commit and keep up with his new life. You knew it wouldn’t be fair to have Leo wait around for you to change, but getting your shit together was something you had to do at your own pace.

Once you graduated and his advancements were becoming a bit more serious, you started to turn a new leaf. You did it to be a better version of yourself for him because he deserved it that much, but he always claimed he wanted you – whatever version he could have. At least that’s what he had you convinced of up until you saw him lock eyes and signal over to another girl in the massive crowd several hours ago.

What the fuck? That was your whole reaction. How could he? He always said no matter how big the numbers he played, he’d always and only see you. He didn’t look anywhere else besides her during the set, well you didn’t care anymore because you left after seeing them walk to the back. Did he not mean a single word he said to you? All those nights in bed, was it all just pillow talk? Figures. You didn’t want to get upset because you let it come to this.

In that moment, you just couldn’t forget all the pretty lies. You’re mindlessly scrolling through the messages on your phone, until your blurry eyes see his name and the distinct emoji assigned next to it. Based on the thread, you thought you were both heading towards the same page. It shouldn’t have been this complicated. Now all that’s left is yourself staring down at an old text message he sent, no longer wondering if he really meant any word of it. It hurt. It really fucking hurt.Your mind was proven right and now your heart paid the price.

“Miss? We’re here.” You pick up your head that was slumped against the side of the cab window and nod in acknowledgement.

You stuff your phone in your purse, pay for your fare, stumble along the stones of the pavement, on the steps of the complex and into the elevator up to the highest floor. You stare at the numbers on the door, hoping they’d line up and still, before you slip the spare key card into the slot and barge right into the suite.

You walk right out of your heels, and on your path to the glass doors and window, you aimlessly toss your purse over the expensive couch, and expertly reach for the zipper behind your back, dragging it down along the dress you were wearing, allowing it to pool at your ankles only for you to kick it away soon after. Forget the fact that you splurged a bit more than usual on it in hopes for a celebration of some sort.

When you stepped outside, you headed straight into the hot tub that also provided an overlook of the city. As you slowly descend neck deep into the hot water, you close your eyes and lean your head back on the edge, feeling the muscles in your body begin to loosen up. The jet streams of the hot tub that caused the bubbles collided headfirst with your back, and a taste of the midnight air in your face, all offered you only a temporary high. You used to think the hot tub was a bit too much at the time, but now you were basking in it.

For a moment you think you could just pass out right there, when you hear him say your name from behind. Your eyes flutter open and you hear the floorboards lightly creek with the thuds of his heavy footsteps as he makes his way to sit on the edge of one side of the rectangular tub. You don’t dare divert your eyes over in his direction just yet.

“It’s 3 a.m.” Leo states; an all too familiar scene for the both of you, and even though you’re not looking at him you can hear the concern in his voice. You roll your eyes at the obvious, not giving a damn if he saw, and then at the idea of him being concerned about you.

He senses the discomfort in the air and is hesitant in choosing what he should say next. He hated being on your bad side and judging by your demeanor you were mad. “You should probably go home,” he suggests after getting no response from you.

Only when he moves to get up and fetch a nearby towel, you turn your head and speak, “Why? Is she here?” It meant to come out as casual, but it came out more spiteful.

The muscles of his back contract and he visibly tenses at your cold tone. “What?” Leo questions, turning his head to look over his shoulder.

“I saw you!” You say, sitting up straight and getting ready to step out of the tub.

Leo is quick to assist you as he his entire body spins around, a rolled up towel in hand, “You’re not thinking straight-” he says and attempts to cover you up, but you snatch the towel from him and help yourself out of the tub. Water sloshes around as Leo puts his hands out, eyeing your every move the whole time in fear of you slipping and falling.

He follows you back into the suite and calls out your name again, but hearing it flow out of his mouth in his voice starts to hurt more and more.

“I’m not fucking blind, Leo!” You shout, whipping around and with your hands out in frustration.

“Shh! Please. The neighbors are sleeping!” He pleads, grabbing you by your wrist bringing them in and pulling you close to him. Your face is almost nose-to-nose with his, but you lean your head back just slightly in defiance.

“I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck.” You say in a more indoor friendly volume, emphasizing each word, effectively letting him how mad you still were. The close proximity gives him a whiff of the alcohol on your breath. You were drunk. He thought you’d stopped this destructive habit.

“I don’t get you,” he says barely above a whisper. It wasn’t meant to come out, but his thoughts always left his mind around you.

“Me?” you ask quizzically, noticing the strong look of confusion etched all over his pretty face, “I don’t get you, Leo,” you couldn’t hold it in anymore, “you begged me to come watch your set tonight,” pulling one of your wrists out from his grip, poking a finger at his chest.

“You said you were busy with work-“ he says then grabbing the loose hand stabbing at him in his larger one.

“I wanted to surprise you,” you explain, voice cracking under it all, “I didn’t think it was going to work because you said,” the atmosphere grows thick and you struggle to speak, “you said no matter how big of a crowd you were playing that you’d always see me, but you didn’t.” You always had a pretty good idea that Leo would wait for you, but when he failed to spot you tonight, you really thought you’d lost him for good this time.

Then he understood why you were upset. You saw him make signals to another woman and take her backstage, where all he was trying to do was help the poor girl and tell her she had a penis drawn on her face with a black light marker. He never saw her again after that. All that did was paint the wrong picture in your eyes.

Leo looked down, breaking the intense eye contact. It was probably best he didn’t see the tears in the corner of your eyes that were threatening to fall, but he didn’t cast his gaze away fast enough as they ran down in streaks, staining your face. He just didn’t know where to start.

You had been there for him tonight. He’d been really happy lately, especially when you started responding and returning his gestures. He thought he was finally going somewhere with you. And here you are, revealing you’d sacrificed and made time to see him play and he didn’t even see you. That led you down to a bar and into an old habit you’d gotten rid of lately, but he just threw you back into the pit unintentionally.

“I should go home,” you say, defeated and breaking away from him. You wipe at your face, trying to clear the make-up that was out of place and turn to pick up your discarded dress off the floor.

“No, don’t. Don’t leave me,” Leo says frantically reaching out for you. Another act within the all too familiar scene; he always hated this part and seeing it replay over and over. All those times you walked out, scared of something, he wasn’t going to let it happen again. He stumbles a bit as he manages to grab your arm to turn you back and face him. You brace a hand on his strong chest preventing yourself from crashing right into him.

Deep breaths. Deep and calculated breaths. You’re counting not yours but his breaths this time. You can feel his heart racing as you stare at his plump lips, parted and each exhale fanning against your face. His hands come up to cradle your face; and while alcohol had its way with making parts of your body feel numb, you always felt his touches. It was the best feeling.

Leo was always transparent with you and was nothing short of it in this moment as he crashed his lips into yours. He’d never been as desperate than he was now. The grip on your face was secure, hoping you wouldn’t attempt to escape again. He didn’t have to worry though because you were tired of fighting it. You’d bare yourself to him.

Your arms wrapping around his neck let him know you weren’t going anywhere this time, and he was able to let one hand reach down between your bodies to remove the towel. His touch sends shivers throughout your body as you rub up against him; your soaked undergarments leave a wet imprint on his dry clothes. His hands travel down to your thighs, giving it a light squeeze, signaling for you to jump up.

He carries you to his bedroom, lips never parting, until he has you lying down on the massive bed. He kisses you all over - your neck, collarbones, between your breasts, down your naval, hip bones, and the insides of your thighs - each kiss feels like a drug shooting through your system.

Leo tests the waters by pressing a finger to your clothed core and upon seeing the slight jolt of your hips, it gives him all the encouragement he needed to tug the damp article of clothing down your legs. He spreads your legs a bit further apart, pressing them down against the mattress, enough room for his burly body to settle between them.

His tongue darts out to your clit and you suck in a harsh breath of air at the contact. Each running pass of his tongue has you squirming, he has to use both of his hands to keep you still. The vibrations of his moans wreck all throughout your body as he sucks on the bundle of nerves.

Your hands wildly reach out in front of you, messing up his short hair, you need something to hold onto. Leo offers one hand, lacing your fingers together, yours more of a death grip in his. It only loosens when he suddenly stops.

You pick up your head that had dug deep back into the pillows to see why. You groan at the sinful sight of seeing his mouth glistening in all its glory - doused in you. Leo comes back up to level himself with you; both sets of eyes pulled together like magnets. He steadies himself with one hand above your head and the other grabs a hold of your leg, keeping them open for him, so his hand could find a clear path to your pussy.

Your slick makes it easy for him to slip his thick digits in you. Leo revels in the look on your face contorted in pleasure he is bestowing upon you. He inwardly groans at the snug grip around his fingers as he slowly pushes them in-and-out; the filthy, lewd noises only further cause his blood to rush fast down his body.

You start rocking your hips, your clit brushing past his palm with each thrust up. With a curl of his finger, he finds the spot and it's confirmed when you wrap a hand around his wrist to keep it there.

“That’s it, huh, baby?” Leo asks knowing full well he’s found the trigger, “that’s...your...spot,” and with every word his finger sinks in deeper and deeper. There’s a feral look he’s sporting, and you let out a whine in response, your fingernails puncturing his skin.

“You know what to do,” his voice turns rugged, “you know what to do, baby girl,” his fingers working faster, “come on my hand,” his forehead, sweaty, pressing against your own, “you can do it,” his soulful eyes burning a hole through yours when you finally come for him.

“Good fucking girl,” he growls against your lips. You start clawing at his white t-shirt, but it’s fitted so well, you start wrestling with the fabric to get it over his head. He chuckles lightly at you as you pout at him. He kisses the space between your eyebrows and sits up removing his shirt on his own; his bottoms follow ensuite.

You admire the expanse of his toned body for a brief moment before you pull him down back on you. Your teeth tug at his luscious lower lip then suck at it. Leo chases your tongue with his own, engrossed by your lips he’s not prepared for when you sneak a hand in his boxers and grab a hold of his length. He moans into the kiss at the contact and slides his boxers all the way off, giving him a full show of your fingers wrapped around his hard cock. You watch as he swallows the knot in his throat when your thumb swipes across at the bead of pre-cum leaking from the head.

“Yes, baby, just like that,” he says encouragingly as you start stroking him at a pace only you know he loves, “you see how good you make me feel?” It’s a question that doesn’t require an answer. He was hot and heavy in your hands and you wanted nothing more than a taste, so you switch hands bringing the sticky one up to your mouth giving your palm a broad lick as you try to lap you all of what was left of him on your skin.

His jaw visibly ticks as he watches the whole thing. You bring your wet hand back down and resume jerking him off. His breathing increases and you know he wants to cum when he involuntarily starts thrusting back, but he had other things on his agenda as he gingerly pushed your hands away.

“I wanna...inside you,” he says, still very much short of breath, this version of him only made you more wet.

“Please,” you beg, feeling his cock slide up and down your pussy, prepping him with your slick. You never begged, but for some reason you got scared that this would all end in an instance.

You let out a big sigh of relief when he pushes in and fills you up to the brim. Your eyes widen at how his cock stretches you out to accommodate his size. You feel close to bursting at just being able to feel all of him, as he stilled in you, feeling every ridge and vein. He takes a moment to himself, studying the way your body reacts to his. He’s reeling in on the warmth you provided his cock and more so his heart. You made every part of him swell up.

With a long and heavy drag out, Leo begins to thrust back in deep and slow, only increasing when he feels your hips start to retaliate back against his. He knows the pace you like it at.

“Fuck!” You yelp feeling the tip of his cock probe at the right spot.

Leo loops an arm around from beneath you, and at first you think he’s trying to bring you in closer by the hips, but instead he flips over, so you’re now settled on top of him. You support yourself with both hands on his pecs, fingers lost within the hair that sprinkled his chest, then you start grinding your hips deliciously over his. He helps you set a new rhythm with his hands on your hips. You watch as he bites his bottom lip and just the sight alone makes you want to come again.

He sits up, bracing one arm behind him for support, while the other pushes you slightly back, you have to use both hands to support your upper body, but this new position allows you both to get a good look at your bodies connected. Eyes both glued at his cock buried deep in you, you rotate your hips and moan when you feel his cock scratch along your inner walls with each swivel.

“That’s right, you know how to make me feel good...fuck, yes,” he praises then places a thumb to start rubbing circles over your sensitive clit, causing your thighs to clamp up, “that’s it baby, work that pussy on this cock...it’s all yours, beautiful.”

Once he has a good upright position, he uses his other hand to undo the clasp of your bra. He has a hard time trying to rid you of the confines, so you maneuver and sink down back on him and do it yourself. He uses both hands to pull the straps down your arms before bringing your body flush against his and reclaiming your lips.

You let out a sigh as his lips travel down your neck to your breasts, groping one and sucking on the other. Your hands find purchase in his dark sweaty locks as he pistons his hips up hitting deeper.

You pull his face away from your chest and you take note of his glossy eyes, the sweat buildup on his hairline, the creases on his forehead, his swollen lips and you’re in complete awe of just how handsome he’s always been. Leo brings a hand to your face, thumb brushing away the stray tear that escaped your eyes. You slightly turn your head in his palm so your lips can capture his thumb. The same one that was just mere moments ago rubbing circles on your clit.

Leo gasps at the sight, your eyes close from the burst of flavor of yourself on his salty digit. Your hips work harder and your thighs begin to ache. It shows, so Leo starts to pick up on the slack.

“Leo-“ you call out his name after a particular sharp thrust, your labored breathing makes it hard to voice out your desire, but he knew you were close and so was he.

His hands grope your ass as he brings your hips down hard against his, you feel the hairs on his lower abdomen rub against your clit, effectively adding on to the impending sensation.

“Come on, baby. You can do it,” his fingers would definitely leave marks your skin, but you don’t mind it because yours claw at chest, “come on my fucking cock...show me how good it feels, pretty girl.”

You shut him up with a bruising kiss and soon he’s swallowing your moans as your body starts to quake, pussy clenching tight around him. You keep your hips grounded in place when you feel the throb of each spurt of his cum that shoots deep inside you.

Both of you part your lips from one another for some needed air. You’re still experiencing a bit of an aftershock as your walls continue to contract around his cock.

“Ride it out, baby, use my cock,” he says against your lips, and assisting you with small movements up and down his cock, “that’s it. You got it. Fuck, I love you. I love you so much,” he says, wrapping his arms around your body.

Your body falters against him when you don’t fail to notice that he’s started slipping the L-Bomb in his praises. Leo feels drops of water hit his skin and when he opens his eyes, he notices your body shaking still – you’re crying.

“Hey,” he says cradling your face again, “what’s wrong?” He pulls back to inspect your body and see if you were hurt in any way.

You brace his face in both your hands to stop his eyes from wandering from anywhere else but your face. “Did you mean it?” You ask, unable to control the downpour of tears.

Leo stops moving and immediately understands what you’re asking. You’re asking if he meant it when he said you were the only one he’d ever notice. You’re asking if he meant it when he said he’d wait for you. You’re asking if he meant it when he said he loved you.

“Every word,” he confirms.

Overjoyed, you press your lips together in a tight smile, and let the rest of your tears fall. He lets you rest your head on the crook of his neck as he rubbed soothing patterns on your back in attempts to calm you down.

When you do, you pull away and finally say it back, “I love you too, Leo West. I’ve always been in love with you,” and watching the big smile on his face was almost enough to cure you.

He meticulously pulls out of you, slight signs of his cum seeping out and running down your thighs, and helps you off him. You both settle down on the bed, bodies parallel, both on your sides, silently staring at one another. You absentmindedly brushing the gray lock of hair away from his forehead.

“Nothing happened with her,” Leo says breaking the comfortable silence. He wanted to bring tonight to attention because he meant it when he told you previously that he doesn’t bring anyone back home. You almost forgot about tonight but are still relieved to hear him put to rest any suspicious thoughts.

“I’m scared,” you admit. The first step had been admitting you had loved him back this whole time, but you still had to face the fact that you both were on two different schedules and you feared the worst it wouldn’t work out.

“Come with me,” he proposes.

“What?” You ask completely taken back at the offer.

“Come on tour with me,” he says a bit more specifically.

You’d already proven you were willing to drop work for him by showing up at his gig tonight, but were you willing to leave your old life behind to follow his?

Then the biggest smile on Leo’s face confirms everything when you respond, “okay.”

A/N: Leo West is so precious! & for the record, I too would drop everything to follow him. Lol. I may write more Richard Madden fics, idk yet. Please let me know if you liked this or what. Thanks for reading!

#mrwinterr writes #richard madden imagine #richard madden smut #richard madden fanfic #richard madden x female reader #richard madden x reader #richard madden x y/n #leo west imagine #leo west smut #leo west x reader

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lavenderek · 4 years ago

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Why were you disappointed by the Howl's Moving Castle movie? I think I read the book years ago, but I don't remember much about it

i'm gonna critique the gibbly movie and it's my understanding that it's a special movie for a lot of people so if that's you feel free to skip this one

so i was delighted and enchanted by the book, which has only twice to date not made the movie a devastating letdown, so my dear friend sending me this book was pretty much signing a contract in her own blood accepting that i would be cranky about the movie. i'm not really a ghibli person either, like i can appreciate the artistry and value in them, and i'll watch it if the people i'm with really need to watch princess mononoke or whatever, but i just don't go out of my way to watch them. (i like reading meta about spirited away, though.)

i did go out of my way to watch this one because i loved the book so much.

it's important to remember the culture in which the movie was made as opposed to the culture in which the book was made. howl is welsh, if that says anything to you. (his name is howell, and he adopted the name howl to run from himself and seem more magical. i love him and movie howl had none of those elements except for when he told us he was a coward and i was like. ok lol, i'll jot that down because i didn't see it in the text)

so i'm not necessarily surprised by the creative changes they made, but i am confused, because those changes drastically affect the characterization, the character motivations, and the pacing of the story.

(i also was only able to get my hands on the dub and i loathe and detest christian bale as howl lmfao but that's subjective)

so first of all, does movie sophie, like, want anything? she's flawless as a character. even though she has a completely different personality as an old lady than she does as a young lady, there's nothing wrong with her. everybody is fond of her, she's shy, she's gentle, she's beautiful, and she's kind, and her only motivation in the whole movie is this vague desire to cure the curse, but even then she doesn't work on it much at all. her life before howl is about being buffeted around like a leaf in the wind, and her life after howl is about being buffeted around like a cow in a twister. sophie in the movie is a blank slate. she is insecure about her looks (seriously, they couldn't even give her like a crooked nose or something, only doll-faced, thin, pale women over here), and her confessing this and crying about it for about four seconds was the first truly deep emotional response i had seen of her. i cried when she cried, who doesn't grapple with feelings of inadequacy? then the kid came out and she was like, okay, i'm done being upset now :)

second of all, howl is a little eccentric, but mostly he's just a glorious gentleman who has a messy room and one (1) overly dramatic depressive episode. it was disturbing to me as a viewer because it was violent and came out of nowhere, and it never comes back again lmao. it was so bizarre, he's introduced as this suave, debonair man in a cape, and he stays that way the entire movie, except for a weird moment in the middle where he screams at sophie naked and then lists the character flaws that we the viewers have never witnessed. why does he like sophie? why does sophie like him?

why did they turn michael into a child? i just don't see what that added to the story lmao. i get them taking out the complexity of secrets involving sophie's decidedly interchangeable sisters and their mystery beaus, it's a lot to fit into a little movie; but like, why did they turn him into a child though lmao

there's a lot of fatphobia in the movie too.

the change that upset me the most, though, was that the element of sophie having the ability to influence things without her knowledge was totally abandoned. like i said, things just sort of happen to her. in the book, her hats are the most lovely because she's inadvertently cast spells on them to make whoever wears them seem alluring or mysterious to people. the witch curses her because she recognizes these little spells and believes sophie's trying and failing to trick her (and also because sophie snaps at her lmao, why is movie sophie only an asshole when she's old? leave my daughter alone).

book sophie unknowingly protects howl by worrying over his cape (which she previously shredded because she got mad at him, i love her), she unknowingly enchants the scarecrow by helping it stand and complimenting it. she does that the entire book. she also starts the book already feeling sort of dull and trapped, and spends the story trying desperately to solve mysteries and protect loved ones. movie sophie doesn't like, sit around and knit demurely, don't get me wrong; but all the major plot points are things that howl makes happen to her lol.

i think the scarecrow is an excellent representation of book sophie's inner struggles. it's something she inadvertently enchanted, and she doesn't understand it, so she runs from it. she's terrified of the thing. in that way it kind of stands in for her own agency: only when she was forcibly in disguise did she feel free to find out what she wants her life to look like, and that kind of power is foreign and frightening to her. i loved that for her.

and very late in the book, howl reveals that he knew all along she was under a spell, that he tried to get rid of it out of curiosity (book howl doesn't seem to notice that he's just as imperious and nosy as sophie is), but she resisted it. he couldn't get the spell off. so he assumed she wanted to stay that way and let her be about it. so basically it's very huck finn on the raft, she realizes that in running to get away, she was already away. she had that agency all along.

all of that was missing from movie sophie. the idea of her inadvertently hanging on to the curse is still there, we see that she sort of fades back to her young self while she's asleep (not the case in the book, we know this because howl doesn't know what she looks like until she turns back in the end); but she doesn't seem to gain any knowledge about herself because of this. the only time she seems to have any personal drive, it's to learn about and help howl. her inner struggles are about howl. and i hated movie howl lmao, i hated his design and i hated his voice and i hated how like, patronizing he was to everyone around him. book howl was a condescending dick at times and just weird and distant at others, but he never came across like he was absolutely positive he was seducing sophie at any given moment. it was clear that he was the star of the movie and sophie was just the audience stand in to be like 🤩🥸🧐

the scarecrow who is a prince was the most hilariously egregious moment in the entire movie. in the book, the missing prince is introduced as a plot in the beginning and is referenced repeatedly throughout. and he's a major player in the climax. in the movie, it's the last like five minutes of the film and the scarecrow turns into a dapper boy with bread for hair and is like, "you've cured me! i'm a prince who went missing from a nearby kingdom and i was cursed but now i'm free." and i was like NICE, so we just found out there's a nearby kingdom that has a prince who's been missing. love that for us

the book had a lot of themes that i don't often encounter in fantasy novels - themes of female agency, of disguise, and of chaos. the chaos is my favorite part, every chapter is equally chaotic at various levels. you'll have michael fretting over some spell, sophie fretting over her own spell, howl trying to get someone in disguise to fall in love with him, THAT someone pining over michael, and all the while sophie and howl are bickering because she is cleaning (it seems like she cleans to clean up her mind) and he doesnt want her to (he is afraid of change and of reality), and he needs a huge favor of her, and she needs to wheedle out of it, and she promised calcifer she would free him, and calcifer is repeatedly promising to die of not being appreciated enough, and everybody is having three arguments at once. it's like that in every chapter, culminating in the moment howl and sophie realize they're in love, and they stand clasping hands and sort of smiling at each other in the middle of a room full of panicking and perplexed people just yelling over each other lmfao. surrounded by chaos and no longer thrown by it, rooted there in the middle of it, stabilizing each other in a way. i loved that. i actually flipped back a few pages so i could read that moment again.

and it seemed to me that the movie tried to imply that with visual chaos, but everything else was really quite linear and simple. everything was very airy. and since the conflama and the general atmosphere and character dynamics of the book is what made me fall in love with it, the movie didn't work for me.

tumblr user door pointed out that the book and the movie are extremely different and she appreciates them both as separate entities, and she's wise and correct; i knew this and i tried so hard to engage with the movie on its own terms. but i couldn't divorce them in my mind. i felt the same way about ella enchanted and practical magic. i cant stop thinking like, i wish they hadn't gotten rid of x, i wish they hadn't added this weird element of y.

also it was boring. i checked to see how much more was left three times. sorry. i can't express enough how little i cared about the plot with the witch and somebody's secretly evil boss and time traveling to yell at howl or something, because i didn't connect with the characters. and the feathers growing out of howl triggered my weird phobia about things being embedded in skin. i'm skeeved just remembering it.

anyway, yeah. the movie was beautifully animated and whatever atmosphere they were going for was pretty consistent throughout. oh and i LOVED calcifer. he was my favorite in both the book and the movie. in fact, he was the only character in the movie who they didn't really change, he was petty and bitchy in both versions. i loved him. he's like, "SHE FED ME SOMETHING YUCKY" my perfect, horrible boy.

oh and. book sophie was a redhead. that's all.

after i finished the book i tried to draw how imagined them:

couldn't finish it though, i wasn't super jazzed about how it was coming out.

she's sitting in like, a window well altering a coat of his without permission. and he's like, i guess i'll have to wear this one instead, and she's like, i guess you will

#haters #who is this even #long post #howell's mobile home #talking out of my ass

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legionofpotatoes · 4 years ago

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alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

#text #long post #aotd spoilers #aotd critical

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dyanlzbb · 4 years ago

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Bucky and the Toy Phone (2/3)

Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OFC

Word Count: 2072

Warnings: none that I could think of.

Bucky took his time to sort out his feelings. He tried to read, to watch movies, to take long walks in the park... but during those activities all he could think of was Chiara and Ethan. And her ex… he was fearing that he may come back one day and be interested in them, reducing his chance to be in their lives to a zero.

Pepper invited more often Chiara and Ethan with the excuse of work and sharing anecdotes before her daughter was born. But they knew perfectly that the reason behind all of those invitations was to make her and Bucky to interact with mixed effects.

Some days, Bucky would start a conversation with Chiara only to be interrupted by Ethan throwing a tantrum or trying to get full attention from his mother. Some days, Ethan wanted to play with Bucky and Steve, usually letting Bucky to play the bad guy against Captain America and his tiny sidekick.

Sam noticed the conflictive attitude from the boy and stated to call him little devil. He even mentioned once that Ethan was jealous of Bucky and that was the reason behind his hesitancy.

Chiara and Ethan became regulars in the Avengers compound; they visited at least 3 times a week, sometimes every day. That was until Chiara got really sick. For days, Chiara had been under the weather, but she still needed to go to work and care for her son.

However, she couldn’t run far from illness for too long. It didn’t help that Ethan’s usual nanny had to attend a congress from college during that week. So on top of her usual work and being a single mother, Chiara had to deal with a very aggressive flu.

Luckily her boss noticed the red watery eyes, the running nose and the coughing and sent her home for the weekend a lucky Thursday. Chiara was grateful until she realized that Ethan was especially energetic that day. On their way home he kept pointing at every car, house and tree he could see.

She entered home and put Ethan down in the living room while she went to serve the take away food she got before picking up the boy from school, in no way she wanted to make dinner under her condition. After they ate, she poured a cup of tea and sat in the couch watching over Ethan who was drawing on the coffee table.

Ethan was coloring a page from a Power Rangers coloring book and turned to show his work to his mother, just to find her sleeping. He moved closer to her and tried to open her eyes, just to listen to her grunting and turning over a bit. Ethan stared once again at his mother and stayed still for over a minute. Nothing changed; his mother wasn’t paying attention to him.

So he did what any reasonable toddler would do, he went to grab some toys from his room and brought them to the coffee table, being one of them, the toy phone that his uncle Tony gave him.

The thing with that particular toy phone is that, as always, Tony went over the top with it. So when Ethan was playing after his mother took an involuntary nap, he pressed the number 0 and the button on the side and was connected to F.R.I.D.A.Y. immediately.

The I.A. voice spoke to the boy. – Ethan, how can I be of assistance today? – Tony had programmed a direct line in case of an emergency, something that Ethan could dial easily in case he needed an Avengers intervention. He never imagined that the kid would call him accidentally, which was obvious if you think about it, unless you’re the genius Tony Stark.

The little one wasn’t scared of the I.A. voice. You could blame the TV and all of the internet apps of him being familiar with a mysterious voice, so the boy wasn’t afraid to converse with the immaterial being – Yes, wanna call Bucky. – He was the first person that came to his mind.

Over the previous weeks, Bucky tried to get close to Ethan and Ethan was happy to get his attention. Not only because he was friends with Captain America, one of his heroes… but because he really liked Bucky, but somehow he also couldn’t stand him at times.

Following the instructions from Tony, the I.A. connected the call to the Avenger in question.

Bucky was exercising at the gym. Doing repetitions was the best way he found of thinking through what was happening around him. And it was a distraction from thinking how he still liked Chiara and how Ethan sometimes seemed to like him and sometimes wanted him as far away as possible from his mother. Which the others said it was normal for a child his age since he was getting to the Oedipus complex.

He was immersed in his thoughts when F.R.I.D.A.Y. called for him. – Mr. Barnes, you have a call request, shall I connect it to your mobile?

It took him by surprise, he usually never get calls and he could count with one hand the number of people who has his number or wanted to talk to him. – Sure. – He went to his phone and pressed the answer button to receive the call. – Hi, this is Bucky, who’s calling?

- Hello, this Ethan.

- Ethan? – Bucky was surprised to hear the little boy’s voice, he wasn’t sure he knew how to make a call. He tried to contain his panic keeping at by the thoughts of Chiara and Ethan having an accident or worst. - What are you doing? Does your mother know you’re calling me?

- No, she sleep. – Ethan replied casually.

- Are you in danger? – Since he was doing fine, then it had to be something else.

- No. But mommy is sick.

- Are you alone? – Bucky heard the boy saying yes and his mind started to race 100 mph with all of the things that could go wrong when you have a little kid home alone. - Do you want me to come and check on your mom?

- Yes please.

- Don’t move Ethan until I come and get you.

- Okey! See ya! – The boy said casually not knowing the storm he created in Bucky.

Bucky just had time to put on a jacket and grab the keys of one of the many cars that Tony had in the garage. He was halfway to the car when he realized something: he had no idea where Chiara lived. A little ashamed of having overlooked such an important detail, he called for help. - Umph, F.R.I.D.A.Y. do you have Chiara’s address?

Of course the I.A. had the address. - I have sent it already to your mobile Mr. Barnes. I also must tell you that the key to her apartment is in the common room, it is perfectly labeled on the first drawer from the right.

- Thank you, F.R.I.D.A.Y.

Bucky went back to retrieve the key which truly was perfectly labeled as “CHIARA”, went back to the garage and hurried to the apartment. He was preoccupied that something bad had happen to Chiara. He just knew she was sick and Ethan was home alone. A bunch of scenarios crossed his mind. But he gave himself some time to grab some medicines for her.

With each passing light he grew anxious about the little boy being alone. Finally he arrived to the building marked on the GPS and hurried to number 3B. Even when he was extremely unsettled, his training as the Winter Soldier prevailed allowing him to open the door. At the sight of him, Ethan ran full throttle and threw his arms around his legs as a greeting.

Bucky felt relief at once, he unruffled his hair and looked around. He then saw Chiara. The position in which she was sleeping surely would let her neck in pain when she wakes up. So he turned to Ethan and whispered. – Let’s take mom to bed, shall we? – And Bucky entered, closed the door and moved to carry her.

Ethan nodded enthusiastically and ran to show Bucky his mother’s room. Bucky couldn’t help noticing her beauty. He was mesmerized by her full lips and the rhythm of her breathing. He put her to bed, took off her shoes and made sure she was comfortable before turning to deal with the little devil.

He closed the door and turned to Ethan. – Well, pal, now… what were you doing when you called? – Ethan showed him his coloring book but decided it was more important to show Bucky the apartment paying special attention to his room and his Iron Man toys. After the mini tour and having found another book that needed color, Bucky went to the kitchen to make some chicken soup and clean a little bit what he could find.

Chiara woke up when the sun was down in bed and was scared when she noticed the hour. She knew Ethan was alone. She felt ill still, weak but she had a responsibility with her son. So imagine her surprise when she went out and saw Ethan and Bucky having dinner and discussing school.

- Then what did the miss said when you took your crayons from the girl? – Bucky asked completely immerse in their conversation.

- She says… she says to share them, like with Benji… but it was my turn!

- Of course it was your turn! She already had them for her flower.

Listening to a contained giggle that became a cough Bucky looked up to find Chiara smiling. Despite having red puffy eyes because of the flu, he found her beautiful. In that precise moment he understood how smitten he was. He didn’t want to deny it anymore. Yet the excited squeal from Ethan brought him back to reality. Because Ethan was Chiara’s priority and he didn’t know if he fitted into that equation, not when sometimes Ethan behaved as if he wanted Bucky around and others like a rival who was trying to steal his mother from him.

- Mommy, Bucky came. – The little boy ran to the arms of his mother.

- Yes baby, I can see that… but why? – Chiara turned to see the beaming face of Bucky. He looked as handsome as ever and she… well, she had been sleeping all day due to the flu so probably not the prettiest sight right now.

- Oh, Ethan called me and said you were sick, so I came to watch over him.

- Thank you Bucky, but you shouldn’t have – She was ashamed that he had to come and a light pink tinted her cheeks. Then she found herself thinking about what he had just said – When you said “he called me”… what do you mean exactly? – remembering her phone was on her purse and that Ethan couldn’t have known Bucky’s number because not even Chiara had it.

- Well, F.R.I.D.A.Y. told me I had a call from Ethan. – Both adults were shocked when they realized the impossibilities regarding a call from Ethan.

- Ethan, how did you call Bucky? – Chiara asked and the boy ran to give her the toy phone he received from Tony. And of course, everything made sense in a minute. She would be mentioning it to Tony and Pepper in their next meeting.

As if in cue to break the tension from the moment, the TV announced Ethan’s favorite show and he squealed excitedly – “Watch Bucky”. Ethan grabbed Bucky’s hand to take him to the sofa and sat next to him to watch Paw Patrol.

Of course Ethan pointed and explained the whole episode to Bucky, he was excited. Bucky noticed it, and he noticed how Chiara sat next to him and Ethan. He thought that he could get used to this: good days and bad days ending with a cartoon show. It was a bittersweet feeling, hope clouded by fear. He craved more and more for this dreamed life.

Unbeknown to him, Chiara craved for the same. Right now the illness was taking the best from her, but she was elated to have Bucky there, responding a call from her son. And Ethan was beyond himself. He liked the attention he got from both adults next to him, they were his favorite adults, and for a first night, the three of them were complete.

#bucky barnes x ofc #bucky barnes x single!mom

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eriklivesinmybasement · 4 years ago

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Rise of the Guardians: Is it as good as we remember?

(Oof! I’ve been working on this one for a long while! Buckle up buttercup, this is gonna be a long one!)

(Before I get into this, I want everyone to know that I’m not claiming anything to be fact. This is just my personal opinion).

Back in November of 2012, we were greeted with Rise of the Guardians. This movie, based on the books entitled The Guardians of Childhood, written by William Joyce, gave us a new and unique take on our favorite childhood characters. This included Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Jack Frost, and more.

While it didn’t do so well at the box office, it seemed to explode in popularity. It spawned a fandom fairly quickly, even spawning a couple fandoms that branched off of it. For a long while there it seemed that, wherever you looked, you saw cosplays, fanart, tribute videos, fanfiction, etc. Loads of people seemed to absolutely love this movie, and I, as a twelve-year-old at the time and thus a part of the target audience, was no exception.

Even now eight years later, I still claim to love this movie. Even though I haven’t seen it in a long while, it left a huge impact on me as a writer and artist, which is why I am sad to see the fanbase slowly dwindling away. So I went back and watched it again, and as I sat there ready to press the ‘play’ button, I began to wonder.

Will this movie be as good as I remember it?

And the answer? Yes and no.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still really like this movie, and I still stand by it being one of my favorites. But just like everything else in life, nothing is perfect. And while still amazing, this movie does indeed have some flaws.

And as I like to save the best for last, I’ll start off by diving into some of the movies flaws.

Flaw #1 - Pacing

The pacing in this movie can be a little awkward from time to time. Nothing super jarring, but enough to make me go, “I’m sorry, what?”.

Some scenes seemed to just jump from one to the other without much warning. Either that, or the transition from one scene to the next seemed a little off. One example of this is when North, Bunny, Sandman, and Jack Frost set off to the Tooth Palace. There was nothing inherently wrong with these scenes, but the transition between the two seemed a little awkward. One minute we were having a nice, calm moment between North and Jack, and then all of a sudden we get a quick, action-like sequence with the sleigh.

Another moment that felt awkwardly paced was the introduction of the movies villain, Pitch Black. It seemed like there should’ve been more buildup to him. We got a bit, but moments of buildup seemed quite few and far between. When he was introduced it felt almost a little random, him just appearing for a few moments and disappearing just as quick didn’t seem to work or do him justice.

There are other scenes, but I won’t go over those now, as I guess I’m probably already bugging some hardcore RotG fans.

Flaw #2 - Unexplored Questions and Backstories

Alright, before I get people shouting me down about how, “If I want backstory and questions answered I should read the books”, hear me out.

When you make a story, whether it be in the form of a movie or book, you’re going to want it to make sense. You’re going to want everything to tie together. It’s true that the original books do this, but it’s not seen in the movie. So for those who watch the movie, they may walk out confused about some aspects of it. The two parts I’m going to focus on here are Pitch Black’s backstory, and how Sandman came back to life.

Every story needs a good villain, and Pitch Black is certainly a well-defined villain. But here’s the problem. We get no backstory or explanation as to how he came to be. We do get a quick flashback to Pitch during the ‘Dark Ages’, which gives us his motivation as to why he’s doing what he’s doing. But that’s it. We get no other real backstory to how he came to be. Actually, we don’t get that for any of the other Guardians besides Jack Frost. But again, the other Guardians lack of backstory could be forgiven, as none of them are the main characters. But it’s important to tell a villains backstory because it gives the audience something to connect with.

Onto the next question. How exactly did Sandman come back to life?

This is a question that’s actually been on my mind for a while now. How exactly did Sandy come back? In the movie we clearly see him die, so how did he come back from the dead? The only lead I got is that maybe the kids somehow brought him back. During the final confrontation with Pitch, Jamie touches some of the black nightmare sand and it turns gold. It’s later on after that that he looks to the other kids and says, “I know what we have to do,” and they run offscreen for a little while, only for Sandy to show up soon after. Did Sandy come back through the kids believing in him again? Did they preform some sort of ritual to call him back from the dead? Who knows. It’s a dumb nitpick, I know, but I still wonder.

Well, now that I got that out of the way, and the RotG fandom is probably coming after my head, I’ll go over the strengths of this movie. And trust me, these really help the movie stand out.

Strength #1 - The Characters

All the characters in this movie are phenomenal! But to be honest, Jack Frost was the reason I originally wanted to watch this film when it first came out. Growing up I never really heard any stories about Jack Frost, and the only Jack Frost I ever saw in the media was of a withered old man. So seeing him portrayed as a teenager seemed pretty interesting. And the character was handled and written very well. His backstory was intriguing, he had a fun and enjoyable personality, but that’s not all.

One thing that was really great about Jack Frost’s character was his struggle throughout the story, and it’s actually a pretty relatable struggle as well. In the story, Jack Frost starts out not knowing who he really is or why he’s even alive. Not only that, but it seems that no mortals can see him, effectively making him invisible to the entire world. The story follows him as he looks for answers to his identity.

This can be a very relatable situation, especially for preteens and early teenagers who are still trying to figure themselves out. And most all of us get to this point. We reach a time in our lives, often in our youth, where we start to wonder exactly who/what kind of person we are. Along with the desire to discover ourselves, there is also the fear/feeling of being invisible and isolated, not understanding where we exactly fit in. Again, everyone reaches a place like that as well, where we feel invisible to the world. Just a passerby. Like we have something amazing to share, if only we could get someone to see it.

The other characters don’t come off as deep or complex as Jack, but that doesn’t make them any less enjoyable. Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Sandman were all very creatively designed and portrayed. A lot of the fun from this movie actually came from all these strong, drastically different personalities clashing with and bouncing off of one another. It made for some fun dialogue and hilarious moments which had me laughing off and on throughout the beginning of the film.

Strength #2 - The Villain

Pitch Black is, without a doubt, one of my favorite DreamWorks villains. I loved everything about this character. From the voice, the design, the aesthetic, it’s all wonderful! But the one thing that set this villain up above many others was that he straight up killed an important character onscreen.

Reminder, I was twelve when this movie came out, and up until then, I wasn’t often exposed to death scenes like this in animated films. I grew up majorly on Disney animated movies and shows, and when a character died, it was usually offscreen. And on the occasion it was onscreen? The villain only indirectly killed a character. For example, in the Lion King, Scar pushed Mufasa into a gorge where a stampede was taking place. Scar killed him indirectly, as he’s the one who put him there, but the stampede is what really did the work.

But in this case it was much different. It’s not like Pitch took Sandy off to the side and killed him there. No, we legit saw this whole scene happen and play out on screen. When I first saw it, it blew my mind! This was actually kind of new for me! We saw Pitch take that shot at Sandy, and we actually saw Sandy’s final moments as he died. When you have a villain physically kill off a beloved character on screen, it sends a message. It sends the message that this villain isn’t all talk. That this villain really does have great power of their own, and that they are serious about getting what they want. That they aren’t going to let anyone get in their way. They mean business. And that was perfectly executed in this scene. (No pun intended).

Strength #3 - The Creativity and Art

I think it goes without saying that this movie is unbelievably creative! Everything from the locations, animation, and the characters themselves in both personality and design are just bursting with creative energy! The animation is incredibly detailed, and for DreamWorks as an animation studio, I think this has to be some of their best work. The colors, textures, details, and everything in between are just so beautifully done. In terms of creativity, two of the locations I want to talk about are the Tooth Palace and Pitch Black’s lair.

When it comes to the Tooth Palace, the artists and creators were given a lot of creative freedom. In media there is no set idea of a place where the Tooth Fairy lives or operates. We all know Santa lives in a workshop, and it makes sense to think that the Easter Bunny lives in a Warren, but no one really knows what to expect when it comes to the Tooth Fairy. When we saw the Tooth Palace, we were treated to some highly detailed and stunning imagery, all with a lovely color scheme of soft pinks, purples, and blues with accents of gold. Not to mention the design of the structural design was a spectacle itself to behold.

And then we have Pitch Black’s lair. As a lowkey goth at twelve years old in the early 2010s, the aesthetic here made it one of my favorite parts of the movie. This set here is similar to the Tooth Palace in that, the creators had a greater level of creative freedom, as we never really think about where exactly the Boogeyman lives. I mean, we know he kinda lives under beds, but that doesn’t sound as cool as living in a spooky, gothic underground secret lair. (But in all honesty, I do really enjoy the detail of the entrance of his lair being under an old, broken down bedframe. It’s a very good nod to the old stories).

It’s like a maze. A labyrinth full of shadows, and looks like the interior of an old, gothic castle that’s somewhat tilting into an abyss. It’s color scheme is predominantly full of grays and blacks, and the surprisingly elegant-looking cages hanging from an invisible ceiling really helps to establish a more gothic look. And since the lair is very dark and shadowed, it fits and aids Pitch black perfectly, in that he can morph in and out of shadows as he pleases. This gives him plenty of places to hide as he’s making an effort to mess with and get into Jack’s head.

The last piece of creativity I want to touch on is how the characters are presented. And holy crap after this movie this is the only way I can view Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, etc.!

They take these beloved characters that we are already familiar with, and, while still somewhat showing them as we know them, present them in an entirely different way.

We all see Santa Claus as this huge, lovable man with a big belly who’s always jolly. And while that is what we get from this Santa, or North, as they call him, it’s very much flipped on its head. While still jolly, North is very eccentric, high-energy, and is strong-armed, duel broadsword wielding Russian warrior with tattoos. Seriously, who thinks of a Russian warrior when they think of Santa?! Well, now I do! Also the fact that he’s not always super happy like other incarnations of the character. We get to see that he’s very capable of getting both upset and frustrated. It’s a pretty interesting way to humanize such a beloved character.

We then have the Easter Bunny, who is played by Hugh Jackman. Say that out loud. The Easter Bunny is being played by Hugh Jackman. Growing up, me and many other kids saw the Easter Bunny as a small, cute little critter who hopped around the world leaving baskets and painting eggs. Not a tall, boomerang wielding fighter from the Australian outback. Not only that, but giving him a small rivalry with North was interesting, and snot something I ever really thought about. As well as the idea of a the Easter Bunny having somewhat of a temper.

In terms of character design, I feel like both the Tooth Fairy and Sandman had the most creative freedom. We don’t see these two characters often portrayed in media, so they were able to receive some really cool and unique-looking designs. Especially the Tooth Fairy. Did you ever think of the Tooth Fairy looking a like an elegant cross between a beautiful woman and a hummingbird? No, of course you didn’t. But Rise of the Guardians gave us just that, and it truly set its place for it’s own individual take on this childhood legend.

Pitch Black is a fairy creative villain as well. When you hear about the Boogeyman, you don’t get very scared. The name actually sounds a little silly when you say it out loud. And even then, because of the success of The Nightmare Before Christmas, you usually think of their incarnation of the character when you hear that name. But this version of the character is actually much different. He’s not this weird, in-your-face kind of monster. He’s a very subtle, yet terrifying character. When I first saw the movie in theaters, there were kids in the room crying at moments when Pitch Black came on screen. It’s also interesting the way his powers work. We all grew up knowing the Boogeyman as someone who just hid under beds. We had no idea what magical powers he may or may not have had. So giving him the ability to morph into the darkness and into shadows was a pretty cool concept, but also solidified that he had a weakness. Light.

So, In Conclusion...

As I have gotten older, I admit that this movie does look a little different to me now, versus when I saw it as a preteen. I’ve noticed some interesting flaws here and there, but I’ve also been able to remember why I fell in love with it in the first place. It’s a very different kind of movie, but that’s part of what makes it so much fun and interesting.

The characters are delightful, the villain is intimidating, the story, while awkwardly paced, is still pretty solid, and is all tied together with a great lead character. And as you get invested in the story, you’ll find yourself getting really into the all artistry that went into creating this movie.

At the end of the day, it makes me sad to see the fanbase for this movie slowly dwindling away. But I feel there are always going to be people out there who enjoy this movie. And you know what? You never know what the future holds. Perhaps there will be a movie in the distant future. Or more likely a animated series on either TV or Netflix. And for the hardcore fans, go and read the original books.

All I can say here is that, every now and again when it starts to get a little nippy outside, I’ll sit in my living room with hot chocolate and give this movie another watch.

#rotg #rotg fandom #rise of the guardians #rise of the guardians fandom #rotg review #rise of the guardians review #rotg jack frost #jack frost #rotg north #north #santa claus #rotg bunnymund #bunymund #rotg tooth fairy #tooth fairy #toothiana #rotg pitch black #pitch black

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years ago

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Michael in the Mainstream: Artemis Fowl

Since the early 2000s, Artemis Fowl has been languishing in development hell, and it really is a mystery as to why. The series has everything you could possibly want for a blockbuster young adult franchise: it’s a charming blend of science and fantasy with rich worldbuilding and mythology, it has enjoyable and even complex characters who go through great character arcs over the course of the series, it has an enjoyable major antagonist, an insufferable smug villain protagonist who goes through a stellar redemption arc over the course of the series, and tons of crazy heists that combine scheming and fairy magic. There was no reason this couldn’t have existed as a competitor to the Harry Potter series, but alas, it was not to be. The young adult fantasy franchise languished for decades in development hell, until finally Disney pulled it out and put Kenneth Branagh at the helm. Finally, we were going to get the Artemis Fowl adaptation we deserved!

Except we didn’t.

Artemis Fowl is legitimately one of the worst adaptations of any work of fiction ever. It has been held up alongside The Last Airbender and The Lightning Thief as part of the Unholy Trinity of terrible adaptations, and I’m not even going to try and pretend that this “Honor” isn’t well and truly earned. This film is an utterly abominable bastardization of the beloved franchise, to the point where this feels like an entirely different story that had familiar names slapped on it at the last second. If you want to know what horrific extents this film has butchered the story and characters, read onward, but there’s no way I’m going to pretend this film isn’t awful right off the bat.

There is literally nothing in this film that works. Nothing at all. Starting from the opening scene, the establishing shots, you can tell things are wrong – there are news people around Fowl Manor? Mulch is being interrogated? What is going on? The film from the word go is simply making one thing absolutely and abundantly clear: this is not the Artemis Fowl you know. The film goes out of its way to do the opposite of the franchise, merely using names and vague concepts in an attempt to sucker fans into watching it. Butler’s first name, an emotional reveal from the third book, is common knowledge; Opal Koboi, a cunning and threatening major villain who was the antagonist for almost every novel starting with the second, is here reduced to basically a personification of the voice on the phone from Scream; Root, once a short-tempered man who was hard on Holly as a method of tough love to push her to be the very best LEP had to offer to prove women belonged on the force, is here a woman who, while just as angry as ever, robs Holly of a major part of her arc and reduces her to plucky female sidekick. And even outside of that, as its own thing, the movie is just utterly incomprehensible. The story is rushed and confusing, with lots of exposition and action but with no context or cohesion. Things happen and things go from scene to scene, but none of it makes any sort of sense. A character will switch allegiances within a few minutes, characters will somehow find a way to survive deadly attacks offscreen… the worst offender is a character death they try to push off as emotional, despite there being no reason to care for this character, and when all hope seems lost, a deus ex machina saves the day! My wife, who is unfamiliar with the series, and I, a huge fan, both struggled to figure out what was going on at any given point; the movie is really that bad at communicating what is happening, which is even more baffling because the film is a pathetic hour and a half in length, a distressingly short amount of time to establish a new science-fantasy franchise of this scale.

The characters are almost all terrible. Artemis is the standout with how awful he is; no longer the cunning criminal masterminds of the book, Artemis here is more of a somewhat smug little brat who is overly emotional and, worst of all, NICE. He’s so nice in fact that by the end of the film he has managed to speedrun his character development and arcs with Mulch and Holly, who consider him their close friend and ally. Butler is pretty bad here as well, mostly because he is given almost nothing to do and is seemingly only there because he was in the book. In fact, his crowning moment – when he took on the troll – is instead given to Artemis and even Holly, with Butler ending up severely injured. It’s a bit nasty that they changed Butler to be black and then had his (white) master steal his greatest moment; it’s giving me flashbacks to Kazaam. Opal is hit pretty bad as well; being made the big bad of this loose adaptation of the first book’s plot – which is amusingly one of the few books she had absolutely no role in – wouldn’t be so rough if she was more of a presence and not just some vague, hooded figure who threatens Artemis over the phone and generally does nothing to warrant being an adaptation of the baddest bitch in the series. She’s rather ineffectual and they even try and give her a sort of sympathetic motivation, one where she resents humans for pushing her kind underground. It really is a disgusting waste of a character who could easily rival heavy hitters like Voldemort in the awesome and theatrically evil department.

Holly is almost okay, but her entire arc and a big chunk of her narrative purpose is robbed by making Commander Root a woman. Root, played by Judi Dench, is honestly one of the better characters since Dench has Root dropping lines like “Top o’ the morning to ya” with gravelly deadpan seriousness which makes the character unintentionally hilarious, but the cheap laughs don’t really make up for butchering the story of one of fiction’s finest ladies. As a side note, they have made Holly 100% white despite her skin being described as nut brown rather frequently in the book, and the now white Holly together with Artemis steal away Butler’s biggest moment. And that’s not even getting into how they neutered Juliet, who has also been race lifted but was turned into a child who barely appeared in the film. I’m not usually one to toss about racism accusations, but there’s a lot of red flags here that Branagh’s usual colorblind casting just doesn’t excuse.

The most consistently enjoyable performance is Josh Gad’s as Mulch. From the moment he was cast, I knew he’d do a good job and capture the spirit of the character, and he does! ...sort of. The decision to have Mulch be a giant dwarf and narrate the story in a crappy Batman impression while also violating literally the most important law of fairy culture (don’t tell the humans anything about us) by spilling the beans to M16 is unbearably stupid, and a lot of his jokes are just relentlessly unfunny. But I think that Gad does leak a bit of that Mulch charm at a few points, and it’s apparent he at least somewhat gets his character, which is not something that can be said for anyone else in this film. Sadly, much like his standout performance as Lefou in the live action Beauty and the Beast, he can’t possibly save the trainwreck of a film he’s in.

I guess I’m not entirely surprised by this film. I mean, a lot of quality young adult literature from the past two decades has been horrifically mangled in the wake of Harry Potter – Inkheart, The Golden Compass, The Lightning Thief, Ender’s Game, and Eragon – so this movie really isn’t an anomaly. But it is the culmination of a horrible trend. This is the zenith of horrible young adult adaptations, or perhaps I should say the nadir of adaptations as a whole? For all the flak I could give those other adaptations, on some fundamental level they still understood something about the source material. Ender’s Game still understood it could not erase the ending where children are revealed to be being conscripted to perform the ethnic cleansing of an alien race. Eragon couldn’t completely ruin Saphira, try as it might. The Lightning Thief… well, I mean, I guess the Medusa scene was mostly faithful. But Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl goes out of its way to be the opposite of its literary counterpart that there is no way to justify even saying it is based on the book by Eoin Colfer; it would be like having a movie about kids hanging out at the mall and doing mundane stuff, except they’re all named Jesus and Peter and Paul and then saying it’s based on the Bible. Just using names doesn’t mean anything, you actually have to use the themes and characterizations too, and this movie does none of that.

This movie is most comparable to The Emoji Movie. Neither of these works really deserve to be called a “Film” since they are basically whatever it is they’re trying so desperately to be stripped down to the bare essentials. The Emoji Movie is the most basic, by-the-numbers animated adventure film with a “be yourself” message you could ever hope to see, with a story so absolutely basic that just watching the trailer will allow you to predict the every motion of the plot. Artemis Fowl on the other hand is the most cliche-ridden fantasy epic franchise-starter you could imagine, and that’s if you’re able to penetrate the ridiculously dense and cluttered story and are able to make sense of what’s going on. I can think of absolutely no one this film could ever appeal to. There’s not a single redeeming thing about it. The movie is flashy, trashy junk that should never have been released, and Disney honestly did the right thing by releasing this on their streaming service because it would be outright disgusting to charge movie ticket prices for this tripe. The fact Disney has more faith in the eternally-delayed New Mutants theatrically speaks volumes about the quality of this film.

I can’t in good conscious say that this is the worst film of all time. F4ntastic is probably a much worse butchering of characters than this film; Disaster Movie is much more horrendously offensive and unfunny than this; hell, Chicken Little is probably a worse Disney movie because as awful as everyone in this film is, at least they aren’t Buck Cluck! But I don’t think there’s a single movie I hate more than this one. Lucy can finally move over and sleep easy knowing that the fact it’s not based on a pre-existing work has finally saved it from the #1 spot on my worst list; Artemis Fowl is now the reigning champ. Kenneth Branagh should be ashamed of himself for making and releasing this (and doubly ashamed for having the gall to unironically compare his slaughtering of Artemis Fowl’s character to Michael Corleone), Disney should be shamed for putting more money into this film than they did into BLM charities, and I hope that Eoin Colfer finds whatever he was paid worth it to see his greatest creation butchered and disrespected like this.

#Michael in the Mainstream #Review #movie review #Artemis Fowl #Kenneth Branagh #Eoin Colfer #fantasy film #fantasy #science-fantasy #Josh Gad #Judi Dench #Disney #Disney+#disney movie

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bakugou-simp · 4 years ago

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⚠️SPOILERS for bnha, and the heroes rising movie⚠️

I have rarely voiced these opinions, but I think it's about time I did.

See, there is a fine difference between ships and what is more likely to be canon, for me at least. As of right now I do not believe that bkdk will come anywhere near to being a canon romantic relationship, not only because of the type of manga/anime bnha is but also because of the development and change that would need to happen in order for it to even be possible. For the type of manga, I also believe Izuku or Katsuki being with anyone of the same sex is also out of the question. Horikoshi has put two transgender characters (and supposedly a bisexual character) in his manga, yes, but I do not see us getting anything more than that.

I am a multishipper through and through however, and I ship almost anything you can name that isn't incest, pedophilia, or abusive. Kirideku, for instance, and Todobaku as well. I like those ships, I think they're very cute and make a lot of sense. The only ships I don't like (I won't name them) I dislike purely because of the people who ship them. The way they act completely disgusts me.

But let's take a look at why BakuDeku, in my opinion, is commonly misunderstood.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about the BakuDeku ship, and I don't say this just because I personally ship it.

Katsuki

Season 1, as soon as Katsuki was introduced I hated his guts. I couldn't stand watching him bully Izuku, let alone telling him to go and jump off of a building. I wanted to reach through the screen and punch him myself. I don't take things like that lightly, and so I thought to myself I will never like this character. Even as time went on, season 2 and all the way up to season 3, I couldn't stand him.

He was an abusive person terrified of his childhood friend becoming something that perhaps he feared that he himself could not. He's disgusting towards everyone, showing only disrespect and arrogance.

When he was kidnapped is when things started to change for me.

Not just his reaction alone-- "Deku, stay back"--but also Izuku's. Izuku is one to forgive way too easily, in my opinion, but I doubt he forgives someone if he truly doesn't think they deserve it. So for whatever reason, Izuku thinks Bakugou deserves his trust and forgiveness.

If you look at it like this-- Izuku knowing Katsuki better than anyone else, not only from his observations but as well from his up close interactions with the other. Taking this into account, maybe Izuku knows something we don't about Katsuki. We know for sure his mother was borderline abusive--as seen from that conversation with Todoroki as well as just how she treats him--, but is that all? We can't know for certain, but it seems that Izuku might.

Let's say that none of that is true, let's go ahead and say that Katauki is just what he seems to be: an arrogant prick with a superiority complex. Even so it's impossible to say that he hasn't changed at all.

Take this scene for example. Just from this scene alone, from this one thing that he tells a kid he doesn't even know, you can see how much he's grown from when he was 14 years old.

This is turning into more of a Bakugou thing rather than a bkdk one, but hang in there. This is important too.

He has gone from believing that he is the best of those around him, thinking that everyone else will only get in his way, to recognizing that he has weaknesses just like everyone else. That in its self is a feat to be praised, but top that off with the realization that if he keeps putting others down he'll never see his own weaknesses and you've got one heck of a character development process. Granted, that won't be enough to make up for things he has done in his past.

So let's take a look at his past, shall we?

Raised in a home with, while loving, a push over father and a brash and aggressive mother. Whether or not she realized what she was doing, or even if she had been raised in the same way and doesn't see it as wrong, the way she yelled at him undoubtedly rooted something not short of some sort of trauma (disclaimer: I am no expert on trauma) into him. Not only that, but she probably pushed him to be better. Constantly; be better, you aren't good enough, you call that trying? So on, and so on.

Being told his entire life that his quirk is amazing, those around him letting him believe he is an undeniable leader, all of that has made him into what we see in the beginning.

Even before he got his quirk he probably thought he was better than those around him and that they also knew that, that they would follow him for protection or some sort of recognition from great power.

So, we have a 14 year old who thinks the world eats out of his hands. He sees Izuku, quirkless Izuku, as something not worth his time. Someone as great as him has no reason to play around with someone as worthless as Deku.

There is obviously the hinted at miscommunication, as shown during the Deku vs Kacchan 2 fight. The fact that apparently Katsuki sees everything Izuku does as looking down on him, mocking him, calling him weak and so on.

As a person who struggles with this, I can assure you it really is hard to tell the difference between someone genuinely wanting to help and secretly saying they don't think you can do it. Obviously I realize not everyone looks down on me, but because of the need to be independent and to prove myself to those around me, it feels like every outstretched hand is going to burn me when I grab it. Katsuki is far worse in that regard than I am, so I can only imagine how hard it is to admit to himself that someone is offering help and not mockery.

So let's say this entire time, their entire lives spent together, Katsuki has seen Izuku--someone who was quirkless--as one of the many people who doubts his abilities. Of course he's going to treat him worse than he treats others, but none of that makes it okay. None of that, any of this, erases what has been done.

That being said it does create a bridge for his redemption, for a deserved forgiveness, and yes I truly do believe he will earn that forgiveness.

It's going to take a long time for him to grow into the fact that accepting help doesn't equal to accepting defeat, and that offering it doesn't equal to the belief of weakness.

Katsuki, in my opinion, started to see his faults around the time be befriended Kirishima. Kirishima is strong, so obviously Katsuki is going to want him on his side, but there is more to it than that. I truly believe that Kirishima sparked the change in Katsuki, or at least held the match for the flame to be sparked.

Kirishima and Katsuki's friendship is what I imagine Izuku and Katsukis's might have been like if Izuku had gotten a quirk, as that is all that mattered to Katsuki. He never cared much about the person attatched to the quirk, only how it might help him. Meeting Kirishima, a person who believes everyone is strong and that they can do anything they want with the resources handed to them, must have irritated the piss out of him. Another person who seemed to think that the weak could be strong.

Being around that kind of thinking will eventually rub off on you, however. Even off onto someone like Katsuki. Especially after seeing Izuku's potential with his own two eyes.

So all of those thoughts of Izuku being a weak nobody turned instead to thoughts of Izuku being a threat to him and his goal. It's better than the first, but it really doesn't do well for them being anything other than rivals.

So, right now in his character development process? BakuDeku even being friends seems like a far off thought.

So now, let's take a look at Izuku.

Izuku

His entire life he's been told by Katsuki that he is lesser, he will amount to nothing, he's completely worthless. That never stopped him from arguing, denying, or wanting to be a hero. Finding out he has no quirk didn't stop him, and being told he might as well die didn't stop him.

Izuku is a wonderful person with a huge heart, a heart that wants to save every single person it comes across, and a heart that sees the best in everyone around it.

He went from being someone in the background, never standing out or doing extraordinary things to a person who will stop at nothing to save one single life. He no longer lingers at the sides, or fears his own abilities. He strikes with confidence in himself, in his peers, teammates, and all of those around him. He uses the hearts of those he wishes to save as a boost to help him win the day.

Meeting Iida and Uraraka, and many other amazing individuals, helped him realize that there are people who believe in him and want to see him succeed. Not everyone will treat him like Kacchan, or only see him as being in the way.

Do I believe that he had to have resented Katsuki in some way for some amount of time? Absolutely. In fact, he might still.

Him forgiving Katsuki wasn't out of the others development at all. It was out of his own achievements, his own confidence, that he was able to come past all of that negativity and believe in himself as a hero. For that reason, he was able to at least not hurt from what Katsuki done to him, if he hasn't yet forgiven him.

Sadly I don't have a lot to say about Izuku's development, or his thought process, but I do know that Katsuki has always been his image of victory, and I do now believe that he can finally see himself as his own image of victory. Or at least, more than just his tormentor.

Heroes Rising

I want to talk a little about the events of heroes rising, dispite it not being a canon part of the universe. It has been said that the movie was what Horikoshi imagined the end of bnha to be, and that is what I'm going with here.

In the movie Katsuki is still his usual superior self, treating Izuku the same as he always has. When there is no immediate danger, and even during a fight neither of them expected to walk away from. Now this may be do to Horikoshi changing it to fit more into just an alternate period of the present instead of perhaps a more time skipping version, but I am not aware of that being false nor true.

Even so, Izuku showed the same amount of care for every individual person as he always does. Katsuki on the other hand, he seemed to care just a little more than his typical self.

Even going as far as to use Sero's actual name when he's calling out, concerned for the other.

Especially, in the way he treated Izuku suggesting giving him one for all just so they could win the battle.

They both knew what this would mean for Izuku, and it's pretty obvious Katsuki didn't want to do it at first, but he's not clueless. He knew that Izuku was right, without two one for all's they and everyone on the island would have died. Throughout the process never once does he say anything about himself, he's only ever concerned about what would happen to Izuku and about saving the island.

Izuku was willing to give up his dream for an entire island, because that is his dream. His dream is to save lives and become the greatest hero, and saving an entire island is exactly that. He trusted Katsuki because he knew All Might would, and if All Might would trust this quirk with a person such as Katsuki, clearly others besides us, Katsuki and Izuku can see his development.

Their Relationship

Now, in regards to the actual conversation of misconceptions. I do believe that at first glance, that being not taking into consideration home life and miscommunications among these two in their own time, any sort of romantic relationship for these two would be seen as abusive. Because right now, if they both weren't more busy with training to be heroes rather than relationships and for some reason decided to be together, that's what it would be. Katsuki has a lot of things to sort through in his own head, and after he gets that settled they both have a long road to being able to be anything close to friends.

So being rivals is the best for them at the moment. They are each others core motivation, the reason they push and push themselves even when there's nothing left to push. Which over time is going to build a strong connection, more than what they have.

Eventually I do believe they could be friends, a hero duo is even more likely as they've already proven just now as training heroes that they work well together.

That being said if anything romantic were to come of it, it would be in a much later date.

Another misconception might be that bkdk shippers either ignore the way Katsuki has treated Izuku or just don't see it at all, which may very well be true about a lot of younger (or even older) people who might just see their rivalry as some sort of romantic tension. Which happens a lot in anime. However many of us see this ship and see the development, the huge development that will take place in order to be something more, and that is something we would absolutely love to see.

Shipping (for me personally)

I think that most ships in this fandom have good reasons for being shipped, and even if they don't as I've said there is a difference between shipping something and thinking it will become canon.

Personally, I think any ship becoming canon would ruin the manga. I see bnha as something that is perfect without any building romance, that being said a little background romance wouldn't hurt.

As far as relationships among the students goes, I'd hate to see any of them actually start dating. At this age, when they're doing things that are far more important, it doesn't seem like the right decision at all. That doesn't stop me from reading fanfictions, or looking at fanart, or saying that I ship two or more characters together. It's all harmless fun, until you turn into an Anti. I have absolutely no respect for antis and I severely hope they never interact with me.

In conclusion

I do not think that bkdk will be a canon ship in the mangas current timeline. That however, doesn't mean I can't ship them or think that eventually something could come of all of their character development.

Like it or not a good part of Izuku, his development, his personality, his dreams and life goal come from Katsuki. They come from knowing him nearly his entire life, from seeing him as a symbol of victory since they were kids and even up until now.

You can dislike bakudeku as a ship, you can ship other things and all that, but to deny that they aren't important to each others entire character-- and yes I do mean both of them, Katsukis's character also revolves a lot around Izuku--is to be blinded by your "hate" for the ship or even for Katsuki as a character. BakuDeku as a friendship/rivalship is way more important than as a relationship, and I think that's something everyone who loves either of them needs to respect.

The entire reason that they are were they are right now is because of All Might, their shared admiration for a strong hero for different aspects of said hero. That he never loses, and that he always saves everyone. Both traits make up their own respective heroes, Izuku and Katsuki happening to be opposites on that spectrum.

Their current existence thrives off of each other. Where they once looked to All Might for motivation, they now find it amongst themselves. As seen many times, when Katsuki asks Izuku "when are you going to hurry up and make that quirk your own?" You can choose to see that as him looking down on Izuku, but all I see is him wanting Izuku at his fullest potential so they can both give their all against each other, while at the same time with each other (though I doubt the second part is what Katsuki is thinking, those are just my thoughts.)

All in all, they push each other to be better, and I can't help but respect that.

(I'm sure there will be at least one person who will come around and reblog this just to say how much they disagree with me and why I'm wrong, so if you're that person I'd appreciate it if you just didn't. Your opinions are your opinions, but I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong so I don't want to see you telling me that. Thank you.)

posted on tue, Aug 25th

#don't come for me #these are just my personal opinions #and how I see it all #so if you disagree #disagree in silence #thank you #bkdk #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #izuku mydoria #katsuki x izuku #bakugou x midoriya

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spacecrone · 4 years ago

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Sorry, Cassandra.

So, it's definite then

It's written in the stars, darlings

Everything must come to an end - Susanne Sundfør

I first learned about the climate crisis in 2008, as an undergrad at Hunter College, in a class called The History and Science of Climate Change. For the next decade I would struggle with how to process and act on the scientific paradigm shift climate change required: that human activity could disrupt the climate system and create a planetary ecosystem shift making Earth uninhabitable to human life. I became a climate justice activist and attempted to work directly on The Problem which was actually, as philosopher Timothy Morton writes, a hyperobject, something so systemic and enormous in size and scope as to be almost unintelligible to human awareness. I’ve cycled through probably every single response a person could have to this knowledge, despair, ecstasy, rage, hope. I’ve landed somewhere close to what I might call engaged bewilderment. For me, his particular locale has a soundtrack, and it’s Susanne Sundfør’s cinematic dance dystopia Ten Love Songs, an album that tells a story of love and loss in the Anthropocene. Sundfør is a sonic death doula for the Neoliberal project, with a uniquely Scandinavian version of bleak optimism. To truly grapple with this time of escalating transition, we need to really face what is, not what we hope or fear will be, but what is actually happening. A throbbing beat with shimmering synths around which to orient your dancing mortal envelope can’t hurt.

Susanne Sundfør’s Ten Love Songs was released a few days after Valentine’s Day in February of 2015, six months after I had been organizing Buddhists and meditators for the Peoples Climate March. I was already a fan, having first heard her voice as part of her collaboration with dreamy synth-pop outfit m83 on the Oblivion soundtrack. Oblivion was visually striking but felt like a long music video. The soaring synths and Sundfør’s powerful voice drove the plot more than the acting, though I loved how Andrea Riseborough played the tragic character Vika, whose story could have been more central to the plot but was sidelined for a traditional Tom Cruise romantic centerpiece. But since the movie was almost proud of its style over investment in substance, the music stood out. The soundscapes were as expansive as the green-screened vistas of 2077 in the movie. It was just nostalgic enough while also feeling totally new, a paradox encapsulated in the name of m83’s similarly wistful and sweeping Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming. I am not exempt from taking comfort in style that signifies a previous era, and I am also not alone in it. It’s a huge industry, and while the MAGA-style yearning for a previous era is one manifestation, maybe there are ways to acknowledge culture as cyclical in a way that doesn’t sacrifice traditional knowledge to some imagined myth of perpetual progress.

When Ten Love Songs came out the following year, I listened to it on repeat for days. Sundfør seemed to have absorbed the music-driven sci-fi into a concept album, with m83 providing her with a whole new panopoly of sounds at her disposal. Like Oblivion, Ten Love Songs told the story of a future dystopia with high speed chases, nihilistic pleasure-seeking and operatic decadence against a backdrop of technocratic inequality. It mixed electro-pop with chamber music and I listened to it on a Greyhound ride to Atlantic City in the middle of snowy February. I hadn’t felt like this since high school, that a full album was a sort of soundtrack to my own life, which I could experience as cinematic in some way while the music was playing. This situated me in my own story, of studying climate change as an undergrad and graduating into a financial collapse, working as a personal assistant to an author writing about ecological collapse and ritual use of psychedelics, to joining a Buddhist community and organizing spiritual activists around climate justice.

Ten Love Songs is a breakup album, with lyrics telling of endings and running out of time. But it didn’t read to me as an album about a single human romantic relationship coming to an end. It felt like a series of vignettes about the planet and its ecosphere breaking up with us, all of us. People. Some songs like Accelerate, one of the album’s singles, throb in an anthem to nihilistic numbness and speeding up into a catastrophe that feels inevitable. Fade Away is a bit lighter, tonally and lyrically, (and if you listen, please note the exquisitely perfect placement of what sounds like a toaster “ding!”), but is still about fading away, falling apart. The way the songs seem to drive a narrative of anthropocenic collapse built on science fiction film scores, the combination of orchestra and techno-pop, absolutely draws on Sundfør’s experience collaborating with m83 for the Oblivion soundtrack, which itself combined Anthony Gonzalez’s love for the adult-scripted teen dramas of his own 80’s adolescence. In Ten Love Songs, Sundfør takes what she learned from this collaboration and scores not a movie but a life experience of living through ecological collapse and all of the heartbreak and desire that erupts in a time when everything seems so close to the knife’s edge.

I am reminded of another Scandinavian dance album that was extremely danceable yet harbored within it a sense of foreboding. The Visitors, ABBA’s eighth studio album, was considered their venture into more mature and complex music. The two couples who comprised the band had divorced the year before it was released, and the entire atmosphere of the album is paranoid, gloomy, and tense. The cover shows the four musicians, on opposite sides of a dark room, ignoring each other. Each song is melancholy and strange in its own way, unique for a pop ensemble like Abba. One song in particular showcases their ability to use an archetype of narrative tragedy and prophesy to tell the story of regret. Cassandra is sung from the perspective of those who didn’t heed the woman cursed by Zeus to foretell the future but never be believed.

I have always considered myself a pretty big Abba fan, something my high school choir instructor thought was riotously funny. I was born in the 80’s and nobody in my family liked disco, so I seemed like something of an anachronism. But pop music, especially synth-oriented pop, has always felt like a brain massage to me. It could get my inner motor moving when I felt utterly collapsed in resignation to the scary chaos of my early life. But I only discovered the song Cassandra in 2017, while giving The Visitors a full listen. It felt like I had never heard the song before, though, as a fan I must have. But something about 2015 made the song stand out more. It starts with piano, soft tambourine, and the ambient sound of a harbor. It has a coastal Mediterranean vibe, as some Abba songs do, foreshadowing Cassandra’s removal from her home city, an event she foretold but could not get anyone to believe. It’s a farewell song of regret, echoing the regret the members of Abba felt about their own breakups.

We feel so full of promise at the dawn of a new relationship. Only after the split can we look back and say we saw the fissures in the bond. The signs were there. Why did we ignore them? This happens on an individual level but the Cassandra paradox is an archetype that climate scientists and journalists are very familiar with. This particular Abba song, and the Visitors album overall, uses this archetype to tell the story of a breakup in retrospect. With climate change, the warnings have been there, even before science discovered the rising carbon in the atmosphere. Indigenous peoples have been warning of ecological collapse since colonization began. Because of white supremacy and an unwavering belief in “progress,” perpetual economic and technological development and growth, warnings from any source but especially marginalized sources have been noise to those who benefit from that perpetual growth model and from white supremacy itself. Is there a way to undo the Cassandra curse and render warnings signal BEFORE some major event turns us all into the chorus from Abba’s song, singing “some of us wanted- but none of us could-- listen to words of warning?” Composer Pauline Oliveros called listening a radical act. It is especially so when we listen actively to the sounds and signals of those we would otherwise overlook.

When I look back at my life in the time that Sundfør’s Ten Love Songs and m83’s movie music seems nostalgic for, the late 1980’s in New Jersey, I was a child with deeply dissociative and escapist tendencies, which helped me survive unresolved grief, loss, and chaos. I recognize my love for Abba’s hypnotic synth music as a surrendering to the precise and driving rhythm of an all-encompassing sound experience. I also see how my early life prepared me to be sensitized to the story climate science was telling when I finally discovered it in 2008. I had already grown up with Save the Whales assemblies and poster-making contests, with a heavy emphasis on cutting six-pack rings so that sea life would not be strangled to death. I knew what it was like to see something terrible happening all around you and to feel powerless to stop it, because of the way my parents seemed incapable of and unsupported in their acting out their own traumatic dysregulation. Wounds, unable to heal, sucking other people into the abyss. I escaped through reading science fiction, listening to music like Abba and Aphex Twin loud enough to rattle my bones. I wanted to overwhelm my own dysregulated nervous system. I dreamed of solitude on other planets, sweeping grey vistas, being the protagonist of my own story where nothing ever hurt because ice ran through my veins and the fjords around me. My home planet was dying, and nobody could hear those of us screaming into the wind about it.

Ten Love Songs woke up that lost cosmic child who had banished herself to another solar system. Songs of decadence, songs of endings, songs of loss. Though that album was not overtly about climate change, Sundfør did talk about ecological collapse in interviews for her radically different follow-up album Music For People In Trouble. After the success of Ten Love Songs, Sundfør chose to travel to places that she said “might not be around much longer” in order to chronicle the loss of the biosphere for her new album. It is more expressly and urgently about the current global political moment, but the seeds for those themes were present and in my opinion much more potent in the poppier album. But maybe that’s the escapist in me.

The old forms that brought us to this point are in need of end-of-life care. Capitalism, white supremacy, patriarchal theocratic nationalism, neoliberalism, they all need death doulas. Escapism makes sense in response to traumatic stimulus, and for many of us it may have helped us survive difficult circumstances. But if we are to face what it means to be alive on this planet at this moment, we might be here to be present to and help facilitate and ease the process of putting these systems to rest. And maybe this work is not at odds with a dance party. The ability to be visionary about shared alternatives to these dying systems is not inherently escapist, when we are willing to take the steps together to live into those new stories. What would happen if cursed Cassandras, instead of pleading with existing power structures to heed warnings that sound like noise to them, turned to each other to restore the civic body through listening, through bearing witness to each others unacknowledged and thwarted grief over losses unacknowledged by those same systems of coercive power?

Engaged bewilderment means my version of hope, informed by Rebecca Solnit’s work on the topic, comes from the acceptance that things will happen that I could never have imagined possible. Climate change is happening and there are certain scientific certainties built into that trajectory. Some of it is written in the stars. But as with any dynamic system change, we do not know exactly how it will all shake out. These unknowns can be sources of fear and despair, but there is also the possibility for agency, choice and experimentation. The trajectory of my individual life was always going to end in death. Does that make it a failure? Or does it render each choice and engagement of movement towards the unknown an ecstatic act? As the old forms collapse, no need to apologize to the oracles. At this point they are dancing, and hope you’ll join.

#susanne sundfør #abba #anthropocene #hope #climate crisis #climate change #ecological collapse #scandinavian music #dystopia #utopia

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