#and when they do see each other Crowley says 'i mean it's not inevitable'

[so-make-the-moon]

Crowley and Aziraphale talking to a new friend who has an office crush and the friend says "I mean, you can really only be around someone constantly for so long before you start sleeping together. It happens all the time." And they just... avoid eye contact. With each other, with the friend, with passers-by, with God herself.

"It's basically inevitable," the friend says.

Crowley chokes on his own saliva a bit, Aziraphale has no such outward reaction.

"But the anticipation is good too," the friend says with a little sly smile, all but nudging Aziraphale with their elbow.

They don't talk for a couple days after that.

[knifeforkspooncup]

Anyone who's freaking out right now: take a deep breath and count to 10 (like Crowley - er, maybe not.) It's going to be OK.

Now here's some (hopefully grounding) words from someone who is not freaking out, nor particularly surprised by the allegations against Neil, AND who has no plans on abandoning this fandom:

Celebrity Worship is not and never will be a necessary or healthy component of fandom, the creation of art, or life in general.

If you are feeling completely unmoored right now, I'm telling you with all the compassion and gentleness of someone who has been in your shoes: it's time to untangle yourself from worshipping celebrities or interacting with them at all beyond their art. It's time to consciously deplatform celebrities.

Because if this is your first rodeo, it sure as hell will not be your last. And if it isn't your first rodeo, I promise this won't even be the most painful one.

Celebrities are not your friends. Neil, Michael, David are not your friends, or your LGBTQIA+ heroes, or One of the Good Ones. They are all just people. Mediocre, privileged, wealthy people capable of horrific and terrific acts. Every single one of them will eventually fall from the pedestal (some more spectacularly than others.)

I'm not talking about "separate the art from the artist" once you've found out the artists sucks. I'm talking about not worshipping the artist to begin with. Ever. Even if the artist seems good.

I'm seeing so many people afraid this means they can't engage in this fandom, and to that I say: This fandom space is a living, breathing community, and therefore morally neutral. There is good here, there is bad here, just like the people within it, just like there is in each of us. No one can change that or take this space from you or change what it is. Neil doing something morally wrong does not make you engaging with Good Omens morally wrong (it may change how you spend your money though but that's a different post.)

So take a step back or bury yourself in fanfiction, be angry or sad, do whatever you have to do to get through the initial panic and take care of yourself, and then start prying your fingers off these people.

Anyone who's struggling and reliving their trauma right now because of this, I'm holding you so so close and I'm so fucking sorry if this is bringing things back.

The primary reason I divorced myself from celebrity culture was my own trauma and not wanting things I loved to be inevitably ripped away from me or tainted.

Anyone who's using victim blaming language to try to defend Neil: you are hurting your fellow fandom members. Neil does not need your help. He's a big boy with a lot of money and a lot of very powerful friends.

Finally: ask yourself how you're going to feel when you inevitably find out David and Michael aren't Good People. My answer is: exactly the same as I did yesterday. What's yours?

Also note: everything I've said here does not change no matter what the outcome of the allegations are, but in my house we believe victims.

[felicitywilds]

been seein a few popular posts about what could Happen in season 3 that i think are kind of missing the mark a bit when it comes to crowley and aziraphale’s characters and both of their approaches to their relationship? so heres my take

aziraphale is a fighter: all throughout the book and season 1, he’s done his best to fight for what he thinks is right. the fatal flaw in this position is that he only ever does it within the confines of his faith and position as an angel: protesting punishing job until God’s Orders are cited; excusing his eating habits to gabriel by saying it helps him ‘blend in’ on earth; even after an entire day of listing things he wouldn’t be able to enjoy on earth anymore, crowley was only able to convince aziraphale to help him raise the antichrist by framing it as ‘thwarting wiles’ (ie. doing his job). aziraphale has always had a lot of conflict with how his and heaven’s ideals align-- this is why aziraphale went to heaven, so he could make the rules he’s so hesitant to break work for him instead of against him.

crowley on the other hand, is a flier: at the slightest sign of trouble he can’t fix, he flees. no, he does not want to dismantle the systems of heaven and hell, he wants to run away forever and never think about them again! he’s canonically tried to do this at least four times! but the fatal flaw in this position is that it means he sees everything he’s built and collected in 6000 years as disposable, which is not unlike how heaven and hell also think about the earth. he’s built a fragile, peaceful existence for himself, but is willing to run away and dump it all the second its peace and fragility is threatened by something he can’t control.

understanding both of these attitudes makes the middle ground where they realize their mistakes and come together again painfully obvious (imo): its earth! literally the ground in the middle between heaven and hell. crowley and aziraphale both already know that the other is worth protecting-- aziraphale wants to go to heaven so being together won’t be against the rules, and crowley wants to run away so heaven and hell can’t destroy them for being together-- so the revelation that needs to be reached in season 3 is that their lives and their history and their home is worth protecting too. beelzebub and gabriel had ‘heaven/hell is wherever you are’, but that kind of attitude (even ‘to the world’/they are each others world) doesn’t work for crowley and aziraphale because they spent 6000 years building something that makes simply being together synonymous with being on earth.

after all, the Really Big One is going to be all of us vs. all of them-- heaven and hell against all of humanity. when crowley and aziraphale have this exchange in the book and season 1, i fully believe that both them assume that when they say “us”, it means heaven and hell-- even after everything that happened, they’re still aligning themselves against the earth and the history they have there. which is why, after all their wonderful and inevitable character development in season 3, they’re going to realize that “us” actually means humanity.

[vidavalor]

Your take on what Michael says when he says that Crowley parks his car in Aziraphale's garage is needed. I think you might be our Innuendo Queen so can you explain it? They don't believe me. Please help. I brought you the snacks this time! I hope you like caramels.

Hi there. You brought sweets! How nice. You guessed correctly. The things I do for a good caramel... I had somehow missed this and just had to Google what you're taking about and now I'm dying laughing. What a Good Omens-y way to promote this 'buddy comedy' lololol...

What do I think he means? Well, if Michael Sheen says that Crowley 'parks The Bentley in Aziraphale's garage' and if S2, in particular, made a classic 'baby, you can drive my car' sexual metaphor relating to Crowley out of The Bentley and if Aziraphale has never had a garage a day in his life then, well... you see, sometimes, when an angel and a demon love each other very, very much...

They're fucking. He means they're fucking. He means Crowley parks his car in Aziraphale's garage, if ya know what I mean. Probably soon to be made an even funnier comment after they go to the South Downs Cottage that Aziraphale inevitably bought ages ago and that has a literal garage for The Bentley.

[san-bika]

“I don’t tell you what to do

I don’t tell you what to say

So just let me be myself

That’s all I ask of you”

This has probably been pondered and blogged about but I’m just neck-deep in this epic adventure tale and romance and it’s just so much fun to think about. It seems to me that part of the rupture between Aziraphale and Crowley is happening because neither one was considering the other’s nature in that moment and when it became clear that they were not, in fact, on the same page that they had to really reconcile with each other’s nature and what this means for their future, it was too much for both of them.

This is where a pause, a sit, a longer conversation could have helped but with Metatron looming and the emotional tsunami Crowley unleashed by breaking their silent attraction and tacit agreement to avoid this conversation and giving Aziraphale one hell of a kiss, they didn’t have the opportunity to work through it.

Throughout their relationship, Crowley and Aziraphale accept and grow to love each other despite their differences and different natures. In fact part of their attraction to each other is the way that they defy their nature for the other and their openness to each other.

Aziraphale influences Crowley into saving children and goats and books and the world and helping peoples even former enemies, and being kind. Crowley is already a kinder demon than most, but surely some of that is influenced by the first act of kindness he ever saw, to humanity with Azirphale’s gift of the flaming sword, and to himself, with Azirphale protecting him from the rain.

Crowley, being a demon, tempts Aziraphale into indulgences and pleasure but he also helps Aziraphale understand humanity and Earth through a more realistic lens with shades of grey (Elspeth, anyone?). This isn’t just because Crowley sees the world more realistically or because he views goodness and heaven differently because of his fall, but because he wants Aziraphale to understand humans and heaven better. Aziraphale is better able to do good and love them by seeing them realistically (and probably is safer for it) compared to the harsh, cold chiaroscuro of Heaven’s black and white judgment, one that leads them to deciding that Armageddon and destruction is a good and natural inevitability.

Crowley should have known Aziraphale can’t agree to just run away from doing his duty, he’d asked him before to run to Alpha Centauri together and Aziraphale declined. It’s important to Aziraphale to be doing good, not acting selflessly. And he IS willing to abandon the bookshop if he has a different means to do good, say by reforming heaven. But abandoning the humans they have essentially been godfathers to since Eden is not something Aziraphale wants to do (and the humans are the reason he and Crowley have become an us).

Aziraphale should have known that Crowley wouldn’t want to become an angel again. Crowley had said “the angel you knew is not me” outright, has denied his goodness and kindness over and over. He may be good and kind and nice but it isn’t because of his nature but because of his choices and the empathy he has had to choose his whole existence as a demon.

Aziraphale is conflating because he believes Crowley is good and heaven is good and this is some horrible misunderstanding and he can correct it. He’s not like those other demons. But Beelzebub also makes a choice to abandon their duties and choose to love. After only a few weeks! Aziraphale isn’t ready to accept that heaven is flawed and that it’s Crowley’s choice and actions that make him lovable, not his status as a demon or angel.

Crowley needs Aziraphale to understand that while he may have learned to understand humans, he is still applying a false dichotomy to heaven and hell and angels and demons that will prevent them from being an Us until Aziraphale stops running from that rigid point of view and admits that the whole construct is flawed.

Lastly they were both acting on their impulses and desires. Crowley wanted to run away with Aziraphale and desperately hoped one fantastic kiss would do to convince his angel that he wanted that too. Aziraphale was desperately hoping that Crowley could finally be redeemed and his good nature validated by becoming an angel again, even though Crowley has rejected that validation already.

To reconcile they have to finally address the giant elephant in the room and have the conversation about their natures and their beliefs. Crowley has got to be okay with Aziraphale’s need to do his duty by humans, his need to be doing good.

Aziraphale needs to accept that his demon friend is a demon and not a misunderstood angel and that heaven has got it (and many other things) wrong.

Then, maybe, the nightingales will sing again.

[roswellsmokingwoman]

(Aziraphale x Crowley) Headlights - Chapter 2

Read Here

Good Omens Human AU with a divorced Crowley and Aziraphale finding love again and getting back together. Glasgow, October 2011

Evermore is a white dove woven into a title. It began with a few words typed, a blinking black cursor against a bright electronic page. Months ago, Aziraphale had read Edgar Allan Poe to him, with the lilt of his voice, in his characteristic sotto voce for sweetness only he could add to a tale so morbid. It made Crowley’s ears curl inward as they cuddled together on the couch, sharing a single tartan blanket. If Poe should write about loss, then Crowley would write of its opposite. It was a fleeting idea borne on one night.

He never expected it would become his fourth novel. That he should be writing another novel–that his agent keeps calling him asking when he’ll finish his next book–is a wonder at all. 

“I can’t believe the stunt at the bookshop worked,” Crowley says in disbelief. He says it aloud from time to time and thinks it more often than that. 

“I was going to be yours, one way or another,” Aziraphale teases. The comment had never been about their eventual romance, but he likes to think it is. “Your success was less likely,” he continues. 

Crowley tosses a crumpled page at him with a smile, missing Aziraphale on purpose. Book sales ticked up weeks before Aziraphale showed Crowley any interest beyond friendship, and even three months into knowing each other, Crowley sincerely thought it might be years before Aziraphale might be honest with himself. “I thought it was going to be the other way around.” 

Aziraphale never saw an incomplete work from Crowley. Incomplete meaning a work not yet fully edited and bound by a cover ready to be placed on a display table among the new releases. He’s protective of his drafts, paranoid that they’re meant for the garbage. And he’s not convinced they’ll ever be seen by other eyes until he sees them in the window of a bookstore. Even then, he’s dubious that his novel had been published at all. 

So, Aziraphale never expects Crowley to show him whatever he's working on. He never attempts to peer over Crowley’s shoulder and steal a sentence or two. It’s better this way–he’d sing high praise and Crowley would tell him he’s lying or that he has to say it’s good because love makes you a liar. Crowley is full of thousands of curious phrases, part of some rebel philosophy stuck in the cogs of his brain. Each one charms Aziraphale. 

It’s why he knows that Crowley’s first drafts must be full of sentences like Love makes you a liar. Which he inevitably reworks and then deletes. But only Aziraphale knows, in some capacity, he must have written it down at some point. For that, Aziraphale must be Crowley’s biggest and best fan. So, in every way, he’s better than an editor. 

“Would you take a look for me?” Crowley asks with a stack of papers a mile high between his thin arms. 

“What?” Aziraphale nearly chokes on his hot chocolate. 

“I finished writing,” Crowley says nonchalantly as if he’s asked Aziraphale to edit every single work he’s written since 2005. It’s old hat, no surprise.

Aziraphale finds no irony in it that he’s more than thrilled that Crowley’s asked him to look at his book. It’s nearly better than the first time they kissed–but only because Crowley gave him his lips and heart so freely. 

Wordlessly, Aziraphale sets his cup of hot chocolate down. He planned to do this later, but sometime soon. A romantic dinner had been an option or after a stroll through the Glasgow Botanic Gardens. No moment could surpass this one; it’s degrees of magnitude above any engineered romance. Crowley asking him to look at a draft–it’s akin to a proposal. This is better than being Crowley’s number-one fan. This is Crowley asking Aziraphale to be his number one human on this Earth. 

“Could you put that on the desk?” Aziraphale asks, motioning to the stack of papers Crowley is struggling to hold. 

Aziraphale pulls out a ring from his coat pocket, hiding it in the palm of his hand. A quizzical expression passes over Crowley’s face, but he does as Aziraphale tells him to do. Aziraphale kneels down on one knee, the way a man does for a woman in all those movies straight men look to for inspiration. Crowley always balked at those. Proposals are overrated. He once told Aziraphale, and then later opened an unpublished novella with that line. 

Crowley’s a hypocrite.

[giantmushyfriend]

The Ineffable Husbands are ABBA coded (I went overboard on this one) (S2 SPOILERS) (I’m not sorry)

I see your “the ineffable husbands are so Hozier coded,” and your “they’re so Taylor Swift coded,” and I raise you a “the ineffable husbands are incredibly ABBA coded.” 

Listen, I know we all know about Aziraphale’s playlist having Angeleyes on it, which makes perfect sense given where Series 2 left us. I mean, come on; 

“Look into his angel eyes

One look and you’re hypnotized. 

He’ll take your heart and you must pray the price” 

And

“Sometimes when I’m lonely, I sit and think about him 

And it hurts to remember all the good times 

When I thought I could never live without him 

And I wonder, does it have to be the same

Every time? When I see him, will it bring back all the pain? 

How can I forget that name?” 

It’s obvious that this song, from a post-Series 2 standpoint is Aziraphale (and also Crowley) analyzing their relationship. It’s them admitting to themselves that although the other caused them pain, they still miss and love each other, even if they aren’t willing to admit it yet. 

However, this isn’t where the ABBA train ends. We can see Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship, both the highs and lows, in several different ABBA songs. Do you want to talk about how Crowley is probably feeling after the finale? And how he’ll probably be feeling when we get our AziraCrow reunion in S3? Let’s look at The Winner Takes It All. The entire song relates to how Crowley see’s the split and different aspects of their relationship. 

“I’ve played all my cards

And that’s what you’ve done too

Nothing more to say

No more ace to play

The Winner takes it all

The loser’s standing small” 

Tell me this is not his confession scene. Crowley laid it all out there, and it wasn’t enough. They both have laid out what they think is best, and neither of them was pursued (mostly because of the bad communication). Heaven’s influence on Aziraphale and his inherent want to do good won out, the cards were never in Crowley’s favor in this situation. He’s left with essentially nothing when Aziraphale leaves, his one constant, his one tether to this world, is gone. 

“I was in your arms

Thinking I belonged there

I figured it made sense

Building me a fence

Building me a home

Thinking I’d be strong there

But I was a fool

Playing by the rules”

Talking about how Crowley built a home within his relationship with Aziraphale, and how he feels like a fool for relying on it after its been stripped away. 

“The gods may throw a dice

Their minds as cold as ice

And someone way down here

Loses someone dear” 

In reference to God’s ineffable plan, if Aziraphale leaving him and choosing Heaven is really a part of it. To God, this separation is just a smaller part of a larger scheme, insignificant, but to Crowley, it is life-changing. He’s lost his best friend, seemingly for good, all in the name of “the greater good.” 

“Somewhere deep inside

You must know I miss you

But what can I say?

Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide

The likes of me abide”

COME ON. Crowley doesn’t believe that Aziraphale could ever love him, he’s a demon, and to the rest of the world, he is inherently below Aziraphale. Those are the “rules” of the world, and this is a dejected Crowley saying that maybe they can’t rewrite them. This is him, in his darkest moment, telling himself and Aziraphale that there is nothing they can do, rules in the end have to be obeyed and the likes of him have to abide by them eventually. 

To an extent, Aziraphale is the “winner” in this split. He’s the one that gets to leave, seemingly unbothered by the pain he is causing Crowley. We as the audience know differently, but Crowley doesn’t. In his perspective, Aziraphale has won the game. 

And their reunion in (hopefully) S3?

“And I understand

You’ve come to shake my hand”. 

Admitting defeat. Good game. 

You want Aziraphale to reflect on his mistake of leaving Crowley, which he inevitably will? Look at One of Us. 

“My picture clear

Everything seemed so easy

And so I dealt you the blow

One of us had to go”

Aziraphale is obviously still working through his toxic relationship with Heaven as an institution. In his eyes, with his belief in the greater good, everything seems easy. He can go to Heaven, make it worthy of beings like Crowley, and make it better. But when Crowley says he doesn’t want to go with him, Aziraphale knows he has to make the choice. And because of his inherent belief that Heaven can and is good, he chooses them, dealing the blow to Crowley with that final “I forgive you.” 

“One of us is crying, one of us is lying 

In a lonely bed

Staring at the ceiling

Wishing she was

somewhere else instead

One of us is lonely, and one of us is only

Waiting for a call

Sorry for herself, feeling 

stupid, feeling small

Wishing she had never left at all”

The entire chorus is Aziraphale wishing he could take back what happened that day. It’s him wishing that he was back on Earth, in his bookshop with Crowley. It’s him wishing that Crowley would come back to him. It’s him completely enveloped in regret. 

“I saw myself 

As a concealed attraction. 

I felt you kept me away 

From the heath and the action. 

Just like a child 

Stubborn and misconceiving

That’s how I started the show 

One of us had to go 

Now I’m changed and I want you to know” 

As we’ve already discussed, Aziraphale believes that Heaven is inherently good and thus must just need a push in the right direction. To him, he could be that push. When Crowley stands firm in his belief that Heaven won’t change, a part of Aziraphale had to have taken offense to that, because he’s partially hearing “Heaven won’t change, let alone for you”. Aziraphale, for his entire existence, has been told his efforts aren’t enough. So when he’s given the chance to make an impact, to finally do what he thinks is right, he jumps for it. He’s stubborn in his core beliefs that there is an inherently good and inherent evil, which we as the audience have come to learn isn’t true. To us, and probably to future Aziraphale, his past self was misconceiving. This is both present and future Aziraphale admitting that he made a mistake choosing Heaven over Crowley. This is Aziraphale pinning for the life he could have had with Crowley, for the life he gave away for what he thought was right. 

You want both of them to look back on the good times of them traveling the world throughout time before all of this Second Coming shit went down? Look at Our Last Summer. 

“I was so happy we had met

It was the age of no regret” 

“We took the chance

Like we were dancing our last dance 

I can still recall our last summer

I still see it all

In the tourist jam

Round the Notre Dame

Our Last summer

Walking hand in hand

Paris restaurants

Our last summer

Morning croissants

Living for the day 

Worries far away

Our last summer

We could laugh and play”

Do you want some angst where they both are looking back at what went wrong? Look no further, SOS has got you covered! 

“I try to reach for you, but

you have closed your mind. 

Whatever happened to our love? I wish I understood”’

That’s literally their final argument before Aziraphale leaves with Metatron. It’s them reaching for each other, both of them saying “Stay with me” but the lack of communication has shut down all hope. 

“When you’re gone, how 

can I even try to go on?”

“You made me feel alive,

but something died, I fear

I really tried to make it up

I wish I understood” 

Crowley in his last stitched attempt to make Aziraphale stay: the kiss. He tried to make it up, but it didn’t work and he doesn’t understand why it really didn’t. 

Oh, are you tired of angst? Do you want some happy ineffable husbands? ABBA beat us to it! You better believe that Crowley jams to Take a Chance on Me at least once a day. 

“Gonna do my very best 

and it ain’t no lie

If you put me to the test, if 

you let me try

Take a chance on me” 

“‘Cause you know I’ve got

So much that I wanna do 

When I dream I’m alone 

with you, it’s magic

You want me to leave it

there

Afraid of a love affair

But I think you know

That I can’t let go” 

“Oh, you can take your time baby

I’m in no hurry

Know I’m gonna get you” 

The entire song is Crowley asking Aziraphale to just give him a chance. To let him prove how much he loves him. 

Do you want them talking about that first Doomsday where they turned against their respective sides for each other? Fernando. 

“There was something in 

the air that night

The stars were bright, 

Fernando

They were shining there 

for you and me

For liberty, Fernando

Though we never thought 

that we could lose

There’s no regret

If I had to do the same

again

I would, my friend, 

Fernando” 

How about them talking about how much they love each other? I’ve Been Waiting For You, Waterloo, Super Trouper, and Lay Your Love On Me sums it up perfectly. 

I’ve Been Waiting For You:

“You’re something I’d been

pleading for

I love you, I adore you

I lay my life before you

I’ll have you want me more

and more

And finally, it seems 

my lonely days are through

I’ve been waiting for you” 

Waterloo:

“Waterloo

Promise to love you

forevermore

Waterloo

Couldn’t escape if I

wanted to

Waterloo

Knowing my fate is to be

with you”

“And how could I ever refuse

I feel like I win when I lose”

Super Trouper:

“So I’ll be there when you

arrive

The sight of you will prove 

to me I’m 

Still alive, and when you

take me in your arms

And hold me tight

I know it’s gonna mean so much tonight” 

Lay  All Your Love On Me

“It was like shooting a 

sitting duck

A little small talk, a smile

and baby I was stuck

I still don’t know what

you’ve done with me

A grown-up woman

should never fall so easily

I feel a kind of fear

When I don’t have you

near

Unsatisfied, I skip my pride

I beg you dear”

“I used to think that was sensible

It makes the truth even

more incomprehensible 

‘Cause everything is new

And everything is you

And all I’ve learned has

overturned

What can I do?” 

In conclusion, the ineffable husbands are probably the most ABBA-coded thing I’ve seen in a while. And no one talks about it! Absolutely no one! I think part of it comes from the fact that Series 2 of Our Flag Means Death has already been lumped with ABBA, but they both can be ABBA coded! Aziraphale and Crowley inspired all of the songs on the Mamma Mia set list, and you can pry that fact from my cold, dead hands. 

[extraterezi]

I'm a big fan of two characters being well aware that they love each other - no oblivious unrequited pining, no miscommunication - just being fully aware that they're loved back, BUT, emotions and situations being messy and scary enough for them to not quite know what to do about it and/or messing it up real bad. Bc in real life you'll notice - relationships are really hard! Even when the situation seems simple enough. Being honest and brave is terrifying! And reading other peoples intentions without bias is a complicated endeavor even for the most empathic and socially blessed

And I think that's whats putting me off about a lot of good omens s2 content I see on here, bc while I agree that they can both be dense in their own separate ways, Aziraphale and Crowley know logically that they are important to each other and that it goes both ways. But see, that doesnt mean anything in the grand scheme of things. That doesnt mean they know in what way and what that means for them. Someone can tell you they love you to your face and you'll realize, if you give it a think, that that doesn't mean you know any more at all about what that person wants from you

I think letting the characters know both gives them some agency and emotional depth beyond "these oblivious gay idiots cant see they're soulmates", which was charming the first few times it happened but now just feels so trite. Its also detrimental to the conversation we could have about the really fun stuff about characters and their relationship to each other - their values and way of thinking and saying things and how those will inevitable clash with the other's and create conflict!

The tension in Aziraphale and Crowleys relationship doesnt come from will-they-wont-they insecure pining. And it doesnt necessarily come from the classic fanfic miscommunication either. It comes from the fact that they have different worldviews and ways of thinking of their relationship, different worries and insecurities, that makes it hard to communicate. To read the others actions. And human romance would not resolve that. A proper consensual kiss would not solve shit! It would communicate to the other that they do, indeed, want to engage in that kind of physical human activities. It would say things about their desire and how human it is and how theyre not on the side of hell nor heaven but rather with earth and humanity because thats what they've become really. It might even make both of them more likely to listen to the other with good faith. BUT. Its not enough, not even close, to resolving that tension.

So. I don't want a fluffy next season. I dont want them to just TALK TO EACH OTHER! <3 and confess and smooch and merry second coming of christ everyone. I like a happy ending as much as anyone, but theres so much potential here to make this complicated and appealing, and if we're stuck on the level where we believe them to be oblivious to each others heart-eyes and 6000 years of gallivating I think thats as far as we'll ever get.

This is not specifically about gomens though I just think its unrealistic and boring to reduce all pairings to "theyre so insecure and/or stupid they cant see that theyre in love" bc while you can definitely have a hard time believing you are loved, in real life doing anything alone with another person will feel intimate and special no matter your relationship, and if you like them and they happen to hold eyecontact and ask you to hang out more just that alone will make the vast majority of people go "hmm seems like they might like me". What that means is another pickle all together. But you'll definitely consider it! And if you do everything together and are always referred to as a duo and save the world together and have little inside jokes? ...yea

[agentravensong]

after getting those two meta posts out of my system yesterday, i come to you today with something much simpler: my Aromantic Muriel proposal for season 3! because i love muriel (platonically), and also... well, we'll get to it at the end.

to be clear, i know that making characters who are as inexperienced naive and childlike as muriel aromantic can perpetuate harmful stereotypes. but, if executed properly, i think this idea could not only avoid, but subvert those stereotypes. also, this is coming from an aromantic person, so.

the proposal goes as such: let's say that muriel's arc in season 3 will be them, like aziraphale and crowley before them, learning more about earth and coming to prioritize it over heaven's plans. we get to see muriel come to enjoy food, entertainment, and other human things. they begin to participate in these things enthusiastically, get a hobby or two.

during their arc, they learn more about romance. they read some of the romance stories in the bookshop. they start putting together just what crowley and aziraphale mean to each other. they see the humans around them in romantic relationships.

and at some point, muriel determines, and eventually confirms to at least one other character (even if only offhandedly) that they don't feel those feelings, for anyone, and probably never will.

and despite that, they still go on to fight for earth as devotedly as the lovey-dovey angel-demon duo (and everyone else who will inevitably get roped into it over the course of the season).

there's other stuff i've considered as potentially part of this, such as having a human character who's also aromantic be the one to introduce the concept to muriel, even if it's only in a brief way while muriel is investigating more general human stuff (because having human representation of queer identities like this one has a different weight to it than inhuman queer rep).

perhaps, if there's gonna be another demon taking shax (previously crowley)'s position (and flat) now that shax has been promoted, maybe they start bonding with muriel, and a Certain Someone(s) starts projecting reading romantic feelings into their interactions, only to be told, truthfully, that their relationship is purely platonic (or queerplatonic). not romantic, but still meaningful.

good omens is a story that puts a high value on the idea of love. not just romantic love - i've spoken before and probably will again about the importance of crowley and aziraphale's love for earth and humanity, for instance - but romantic love is a big part of it. like, when you think about it, the most plot-involved human adults in both seasons of the show so far have had romance as a notable part of their arcs (anathema & newt, shadwell & tracy, maggie & nina). and then in season 2, we have the curveball of ineffable bureaucracy being made canon, plus explicit confirmation that the love crowley and aziraphale feel for each other is romantic in nature.

meanwhile, there are the other demons, who only seem to love power and cruelty, and the other angels, who only seem to "love"... bureaucracy. the other demons and angels, our antagonists, whom crowley and aziraphale, our protagonists, are differentiated from in their love for humanity... and for each other. a romantic love that's reflected in the other prominent adult humans, making it, other than wanting to save the day/world (obviously), the uniting factor between our disparate heroes.

i don't want to belabor the point. just... it would be nice to have a protagonist who can love earth without also feeling that other kind of love. and, yes, i'm biased, but i think muriel presents a fairly natural opportunity to do that. it doesn't have to be them though. either way, that'll be my headcanon for them :)

[billpottsismygf]

Good Omens Spoilers

Okay, wow. It's going to take me a while to fully process that, and I definitely won't until I've rewatched it at least once. It has a very different feel to series 1. There are fewer disparate characters, especially human characters, like Shadwell, Anathema, etc., which I did rather miss; the lack of a narrator weirdly changes the tone quite a lot in itself; and, perhaps most significantly, there’s a real mystery that the audience are not let in on, in contrast to us in series 1 watching Aziraphale and Crowley search for a boy we already know the identity of.

Maggie and Nina are nice, and I really enjoyed the obvious parallels to Aziraphale and Crowley (the line about sheltering under a downpour especially felt very relevant), but I’m also not sure they merited as much screentime as they got. I am really glad that their story didn’t end with them dramatically falling in love with each other, as I found the idea that Maggie was really in love with Nina a bit suspect - they’ve clearly barely talked before we meet them. The open ended question of their relationship obviously mirrors Aziraphale and Crowley too.

And now the elephant in the room: that ending was devastating. The end of series 1 is so effective and moving because we finally see Aziraphale and Crowley get to be together on their own terms. Here, it’s completely undone. I love the little subtleties of the Metatron’s look at Crowley as he leaves the bookshop with Aziraphale - he knew Crowley would never accept an offer to be an angel again.

On the one hand, I believe that Aziraphale would accept the offer, and that he would think Crowley would want to come with him, as he’s always been the one most hesitant to distance himself from the Heaven/Hell dichotomy, and to commit to his partnership with Crowley.

On the other hand, has he learnt nothing? I thought he understood by this point that Heaven did not always have the best of intentions. And he’s just seen what happened to Gabriel when he refused to toe the line, a punishment that the Metatron himself was involved with doling out. Does Aziraphale somehow think he’ll have more control? What will he do when he’s inevitably asked to do something that contradicts his own morals? He can’t think that won’t be a problem.

Like I say above, it’s not that it’s out of character for Aziraphale to accept the offer. It’s more that it’s a step backwards in character, and feels perhaps a little artificial. It’s the hand of the writer, putting in the equivalent of that beat in a romcom when the characters have a falling out. Our other mirrors for them, Gabriel and Beelzebub, get to run off happily together, so we can probably expect the stereotypical reunion too.

And we now of course have our context for The Spoiler. It’s a lot more devastating than I think anyone was expecting. I know there’s been a lot of Discourse around queerbaiting, and I have read perspectives on that that I can understand, but it’s never been queerbaiting in my opinion. I sometimes wish that things could be allowed (and I mean by the fandom crowd, not by the mainstream) to be subtle and achingly unspoken, to be queer in theme and context, and also perhaps to allow for non-normative manifestations of queer love (asexual/queerplatonic/etc.). 

However, the kiss changes none of that. I am glad that Aziraphale and Crowley are now queer in a way in which mainstream audiences can’t miss. I sort of wish it didn’t have to be that way but, after all, a kiss is not an inherent barrier to other queer readings, and it works so well in the context of the scene. It’s Crowley’s last-ditch attempt to demonstrate what they could be, without words, and it fails. It’s heart-breaking.

As to the future of the show and their relationship, we’ll have to wait and see. There’s a possibility that we won’t get a series 3 at all, in which case this is a dreadful place to end, and I really do hope that doesn’t happen. Ultimately, this series was a little unsatisfying, but Neil Gaiman always said that it was an intermediary, the lead up to the real next part of the story, and we’re just going to have to cope with that. Here’s hoping we don’t have to cope for too long!

Misc smaller things

I wasn’t sure about re-casting characters, but I actually loved the new actor for Beelzebub. Much as I adore Anna Maxwell Martin, I think she was perhaps slightly mis-cast originally. The visual effects and costuming around them were also much improved.

Miranda Richardson is amazing. Again, I wasn’t sure about her playing a totally different character, but she completely sells it. I love the clipped way she speaks, her mannerisms, all of it. She completely embodies Shax and not for a moment did she make me think of Madam Tracy.

I loved Muriel. Just very sweet and adorable and funny. No notes.

I also loved all the little references to things. The appearance of several Terry Pratchett books (The Colour of Magic and Good Omens specifically) and nods to his worlds - in particular, I got really excited about the seamstresses’ guild getting a wink. 

There were many, many Doctor Who references as well. I know they all had outrageous fun having Crowley referred to as “Doctor”, and that he got to use a Scottish accent (though a bit posher than David Tennant’s actual accent).

On that note, the extended flashbacks were wonderful. The Elspeth stuff was maybe a little on the nose, but I loved seeing them run around Georgian Edinburgh (which was so surreal, because it looks identical to modern Edinburgh). The stuff with Job was especially enjoyable, and I still can’t quite believe we got to see the aftermath of the church bombing.

[jac-is-procrastinating-again]

Chapter 6:

Aziraphale goes to the Great Library to look at the Book of Life to see what Crowley was supposed to have done to merit Falling. It makes him very uneasy indeed...

Heaven, Now

“Ah, Saraqael.” Aziraphlale hadn’t realised she was there so he jumped like a rabbit when she came out from behind one of the bookstacks. Hopefully she hadn’t noticed. “I just want to get this Crowley business out of the way before we really get stuck into the war preparations.”

“The Crowley business?” Saraqael stopped her wheelchair.

“Yes. The Metatron was saying that it might be sensible to reinstate him as an angel so we can get him in on the business at hand. Bit irregular working with a demon on the end of the world, but he’s the only one who knows humans as well as I do, of course, so he’d be invaluable…”

“To the war? Crowley?” Saraqael raised an eyebrow. “Six thousand years must have changed him. Still, he’s very capable, there’s no denying that.”

What did that mean? But Aziraphale was too conscious that the clock was ticking down, fast. He could ask questions later. “So how do we go about it?”

“Well, it’s not something that’s really been done before, reinstating an angel. There were a few compromises we made after the Great War, I think… Follow me.” Saraqael set off between the rows of shelves, through the datafiles glimmering in stacks, back to the big old hardbacks and beyond, to the scrolls and the stone tablets. She paused at one of the very early ones. “There.” She pointed her reader at the shelf and the datafile shimmered down into it. She flicked forward and back; faces flickered and jumped in the air. Lucifer, Gabriel and Beelzebub spitting imprecations at each other, Metatron looking troubled, Uriel, Michael and Crowley arguing between themselves. Why was Crowley with the Archangels? Had he been an Archangel? Aziraphale supposed he must have been though he couldn’t immediately remember the details.

“Here.” Saraqael flicked up a document. It scrolled on and on and on. “It’s not an easy thing to do but….” She scrolled to the end. “It’s not impossible. Looks like we need to start by assembling all known records of the entity involved and then going through them. If we can put together enough evidence that whatever wrongdoing has been redeemed or repented, we can assemble a panel to hear the evidence, and ultimately take it to the Metatron for approval.”

Aziraphale didn’t like the sound of that. It sounded… lengthy. “And then?”

“If it all gets approved we make the amendments in the Book of Life, and once that’s set, it all goes very easily.”

“Okay, the Book of Life. And that’s where the records are too?”

“Indeed. You prefer the actual book format to datafile, I believe?” Saraqael asked, setting off again. “I can subsection according to Crowley’s immediate contacts and impacts if you like.”

“Please.” He followed her to a wide table with an array of chairs around it.

She gestured and a large pile of books came down to rest on it. “I’m afraid you can’t take them away, but they’ll be here whenever you need them. They’ll autoplay as needed too.” A set of notebooks stacked themselves neatly in a corner along with a blue fountain pen. “Please be careful not to blot the books; it can cause a lot of trouble if it’s not authorised. Any problems, come straight to me, or if there’s anything you need. I’ll be at my desk by the door.” She started to leave.

“Saraqael?” Aziraphale hesitated.

“Yes?”

“You knew him, didn’t you? Crowley?”

She paused. “Not by that name, of course. But we worked together on the Horsehead Nebula before the Fall. Some of his best work, I truly believe. The song of the stars is quite something, and that was all him. He always did have a way with music.”

Aziraphale looked at the pile of books and found himself afraid to open them. “Were you surprised? When he Fell, I mean?”

Her face grew sad. “Yes. And no. I’d hoped it wouldn’t happen, of course, but…it was inevitable. Being who he was, it couldn’t have happened any other way.” She opened her mouth as if to say something, but visibly changed her mind, putting on a neutral expression. “I suppose that’s not something you remember? So many of us were traumatised after the Fall, we had to wipe a good few memories.” She looked away. “It was a terrible time.”

“But you remember it?”

“We’re scribes, Aziraphale. We are the ones �� sometimes the only ones – who do.”

“I’m sorry.” He looked down at the notebooks in front of him. “That sounds hard. And… lonely.”

She nodded. “And yet sometimes it is all we can do, for the Greater Good. To remember what came before and do our best to make sure we learn from our mistakes.” She turned her chair. “But time is short. Feel free to call if you need anything.”

“I will,” he called after her. “Thank you.”

He sat down at the table and opened a notebook, running his finger down the join so that it lay flat. Then he opened the first book and caught his breath; a line drawing of Crowley as he had been right back at the beginning, his face open and shining with joy. He’d looked like this the first time Aziraphale had ever met him, when they fired up the Nebula together. “This is how you should look.” Not that saddened, pain-worn expression that haunted his face when his guard was down. “How did you get there from here?”

= = =

Link to the rest of the chapter:

[soulsam]

Ask game!! For Sam and Dean both:

What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

OMG HELLO TUMBLR USER SPNTRUNK???? WHAT AN HONOR

I will ramble about my samdean thoughts ANY TIME so thank you for indulging me lol

1a. for sam, I loooove when the fandom acknowledges and magnifies his obsession with dean. he's slightly quieter about it (he doesn't go around yelling YOU TOUCH MY BROTHER AND ILL KILL YOU the way dean does) but that doesn't make him any less codependent or any less freakish!!!!!! he is JUST as insane about dean as dean is about him, and I LOVE to see that explored

1b. for dean, I love fandom discussions of his experiences with romance and sex and what they mean to him. I feel like the show mostly goes "dean sleeps around lol" and leaves it at that, but sometimes you get a glimpse of something else (cassie, lisa), and I always found those parts to be extremely intriguing. because dean can be such a hopeless romantic!!! he just doesn't let himself have good things, he holds them at arms length so that when he inevitably loses them it might not hurt so much. it's so heartbreaking and I could write academic essays about it probably. (as a sidenote, this aspect of his character is part of why I love samdean so much. he and sam have their moments, they've been separated by thousands of miles and death itself and it hurts dean terribly, but they always find their way back to each other. sam is the one person who dean has never really lost, not forever. and now that they're in their shared(!!!!) heaven, he never will.)

2a. I am going to have to try so so so so so hard not to write an essay about this one. the way the wider fandom treats sam makes my blood BOIL. tossing him to the side, pretending he doesn't exist, saying dean would be better off without him, etc. I hate all of it. I hate the way he gets sidelined in his own story, and the worst part is that THE SHOW ITSELF DOES IT TOO. SO I CANT EVEN BLAME THE STUPID FANDOM ENTIRELY. but if I had to pick one thing that I hate the most about the fandom's treatment of sam...I think I would be unoriginal and choose the purgatory debacle. there are just so many reasons why he shouldn't be blamed so harshly for the way he handled that time period. like. 1. he had JUST gotten hallucifer out of his head. he was having psychotic episodes so bad he nearly DIED, he barely even knew what was real and what was a hallucination. 2. he was ALONE. bobby was dead, dean and cas were, by all accounts, dead. his whole family was GONE. I can't even imagine the grief he must have endured in that time. I wouldn't be surprised if he had been suicidal, or if he'd had another psychotic break. and 3. WHERE WAS HE SUPPOSED TO GO LOOKING? he had no reason to think that dean SURVIVED the dick-splosion, and even if he was certain he had, sam KNOWS how dangerous it is to open the door to purgatory. and he couldn't exactly ask cas about it, could he? what was he supposed to do, summon crowley? yeah I'm sure that would've gone great. plus, 4. he and dean AGREED not to look for each other. sure, they make and break those kinds of promises often, but come the fuck on. how is it fair to ask sam, hopeless and alone and barely even functional enough to stand on his own two feet, to defy the promise he and dean made in order to bring him back from the dead and probably let something else nasty out along with him? that hardly seems reasonable to me.

um. I got heated about that one. anyway everyone lay off sam about purgatory okay. including dean. I get why he was upset but man cmon.

2b. this one's going to be shorter because I'm pissed about purgatory now lol but I hate when people make dean out to be some kind of. horrific wifebeater (and sam his battered, trapped woman). like. yeah. he's got anger issues and violent tendencies. yes, he often fails to break the cycle of abuse. yes, he lashes out at sam, and that's bad. but like. sam doesnt need protection from dean??? sam doesnt need liberation from dean???? dean isn't some horrible monster who belittles his brother for shits and giggles. he's a man who's seen way too much, lost way too much. it hurts to look at the ways he's changed, but he's doing the best he fucking can. also, pet peeve!! I HATE HATE HATE when people point to the behavior he exhibited while he had the mark of cain and go "see!! see!!! it was inside him all along!!!! he's a terrible person!!!!" LIKE. UM. HES LITERALLY BEEN SADDLED WITH AN ANCIENT CURSE. I DONT THINK ITS FAIR TO PROJECT ITS EFFECTS ONTO HIS CHARACTER, ACTUALLY. it annoys me soooooo bad. like did they miss the parts where he tried everything he could to keep his urges under control? did they miss the horrified look he'd have on his face after he went on a killing spree he couldn't stop? it's willful ignorance, and I hate that shit!!! I hate it!!!!!

genuinely though. and maybe this is silly to say after all that rambling. I don't want to be negative here. I love my (our!!) little corner of this fandom and I genuinely unironically love this show with every fiber of my being. it's my favorite piece of media ever and maybe that's partly just recency bias but like. I had sworn off live action TV for weird personal reasons (if you go looking, I have a personal post saying I refused to reblog spn posts because I didn't want gifs of real people on my blog. lmao) and yet here I am. I love this show. I love the wincest fandom. I love my mutuals. and as soon as I finish the finale I'm probably just going to start the whole damn thing over again.

oh also SPNTRUNK I LOVE YOUR ART !!! WTF!!!! HI???? IM STILL KIND OF IN AWE LOL

[finethingswellworn]

I've been so anxious about season 3, about the reunion, about everything, really.

But I'm choosing to cope by thinking about what it means, in the GO universe, that Crowley and Aziraphale know one another so well.

Yes, yes. Alright. Har har! Feel free to insert the inevitable "You mean knowing in a Biblical sense?" jokes here. Get it off your chest.

Because Crowley obviously likes Aziraphale. In all senses of the word.

But more importantly, Crowley knows Aziraphale. He's known of him and known him and has been known by Aziraphale in return for so long now it boggles the mind.

And what I mean is

Crowley sees who Aziraphale is in the garden, sees that he is an angel unlike the others, an angel with a conscience, an angel who doesn't always do the "good" thing but will do the right thing most of the time.

Even then, Crowley sees more of Aziraphale than heaven ever could. Crowley's intrigued, fascinated, willing to truly engage with Aziraphale, test him from the very beginning. But he doesn't know, yet. Not completely.

After all this time, however, months and months out from season 2, I still believe the Job incident solidifies there relationship for Crowley. For Aziraphale. For us, the devastated audience. And I think it works in tandem with 1941 part II to give us an idea of what to expect in season 3. Or, at least, it gives us a glimpse of how Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship could potentially go.

Because as much as Crowley is sure Aziraphale will break out of heaven's black and white mindset, Aziraphale is equally confident in Crowley's sense of justice, his inherent, if not goodness by heaven's definition, then his... humanity. Both his love for it and how he's been influenced by it.

Crowley stands in a fiery house with the lives of Job's innocent children hanging in the balance, asks Aziraphale if he really knows him, and not once does Aziraphale waver.

In 1941, we get an explicit, out loud declaration of trust along with a quiet realization of love in the ruins of a church. It's beautiful.

"You said "trust me,"."

"And you did."

But also, haven't they been doing this for millennia already? The sheer level of faith they've had to put in each other, starting from Job, carrying through to 1941, and finally to the present storyline is honestly astounding.

Circling back around, I think the heartbreak on both sides is the perceived misalignment between what each of them knows about the other and their present day choices.

So yes, they have issues. They fundamentally disagree about how to be together, how to make it finally safe to be together. They've hurt each other. They're not talking.

But!

Does that matter?

When shit hits the fan, haven't they always lied for each other, broken the rules for each other, protected each other without a thought?

They know it, too. They've known it for a long, long time.

I've seen some people say that one or both of them were naive to what their relationship was until The Kiss™, and I just can't agree with that.

So, this whole ramble is to say, just because you don't say something out loud doesn't mean it's not there. Just because you break someone's heart doesn't necessarily mean you won't come running to them in an instant if need be. And one conversation, no matter how hurtful and fraught, cannot undo thousands of years worth of actions.

They have, quite literally, been loving each other too long to stop now.

Deep down, both of them know that, too, I think. I'm choosing to hope.

[queerwheels]

okay so I recently binged good omens. I am hurt by the season 2 finale and I'm about to make it everyone's problem lmao (at least if you read this post.) CW: Good omens spoilers but i'll at least put it below the cut

aziraphale wants nothing more than to believe that heaven has everyone’s best interest at heart and he loves Crowley. I think he thought accepting head archangel position would mean that he could fix things, that he’d have more power to stop the pointless suffering of the humans, that he’d be more respected.

Meanwhile Crowley, Crowley who only went as far with heaven and hell as he could, he could see that heaven wasn’t going to change. (And for a time, hell offered novelty b/c of a new way of doing things. And then he could see that Hell wasn’t going to change.)

Back to Heaven though, he could see some of it possibly came from boredom on their part and disconnection from the lived experience of their choices being so high up. Crowley fell b/c he asked questions. B/c his opinion strayed too far from the other angels. He also could see that certain things weren’t going to change. Like the way that he helped Job to keep his kids instead of letting them be decimated and how the higher ups were like “yes but they’ll be allowed to have doubled the children, won’t that be great?” And Crowley was like “but you don’t need to kill their children. This is pointless and cruel.” (He didn't say that but that's what his actions said.)

By the time Crowley had gone as far as he could w/ hell, he’d already gone as far as he could w/ heaven. He knew there was no going back for him. He knew it. In his whole being. He didn’t want to go back.

And that’s why it was so heartbreaking when Aziraphale was so hopeful that he could go back w/ him. B/c it showed that as much as they love each other, whether they admit it verbally or not, as much as they love each other, Aziraphale couldn’t understand that Crowley fell and knew he could never go back and be true to himself.

When he fell, he knew that was not an option b/c his morals, his heart and heaven’s looseygoosey cruelty, could not ever mesh now that he’d seen them for what they were. He knew when he chose to “fall” to hell, that there was no going back for him. And until that moment of Aziraphale being so excited, Crowley thought that Az understood that too. But he didn’t. He still had rose colored glasses on for heaven, and he was willing to excuse or sabotage a few exceptions here and there. But ultimately, Az still had rose colored glasses on, he still put heaven on a pedestal whereas Crowley saw their true colors the first time.

“We could have been us.” B/c this is who Crowley was. Not an angel anymore. Not just a demon anymore. He was himself., somewhere in the gray area. And he thought he could be himself w/ Az. But Az thought he fell from heaven b/c he was forced out. And he thought that offering to bring him back to Heaven would fix everything. (And maybe he was even a little ashamed of Crowley b/c of the implied message of wanting to change him so they could be together instead of being together as who they were now?)

When I watched that last episode, I ached for both Az’s innocence as Metatron said causally, “we call it the second coming.” b/c you could see Az starting to understand. You could see his innocence shattering a little bit as he understood that this thing they’ve been working so hard to redirect so that so many ppl didn’t have to go through that, that this was inevitable as far as the higher ups were concerned.

And I also ached for Crowley b/c even if there is a season 3, even if Az and Crowley talk again, there’s a wall up now, a mistrust, a deep sadness that Crowley might never admit to but will still cause him to lash out nonetheless.

[neurolady]

It's been what a month or so since I posted this thought. Since then, I've been fully immersed in GO meta, edits/gifs of the Final 15, AO3 fics, even had my creative fires rekindled and attempting fics for myself and rewatched S2 ahem once or twice!

When I first fell headlong into this fandom, I identified so much with Crowley's response. It felt like Aziraphale wanted Crowley to reject himself in order to protect what they had. I'm not completely emotionally inept as some folk seem to be, I never hated Aziraphale but I did think he had to shoulder most of the blame for the way things were left. Which is where my head was at when I first posted this.

Not anymore. There is no blame to be shared by either them in The Final 15. They are both responding to the situation that has been thrust upon them the only way they are currently capable, their relationship as it stands at the end of S2 is not in that place of openness and frank communication that would allow them a route out of the situation that didn't end in heartbreak. It was inevitable.

Aziraphale has so much work to do to separate his love for being an angel and his idea of goodness from Heaven. He lives in and understands "shades of grey". He knows and has made choices, independently of Crowley's influence, that prove he understands that the "good" thing is not always the easy thing or the obvious thing that Heaven's Bureaucracy would have him believe. But his idea of himself is still so entrenched in Heaven that he can't let it go. To add to that, he isn't physically free of Heaven either. The Metratron basically gave him - in the most English way ever - an order to return to Heaven and tow the company line.

Crowley is freer. The impression I get is that their S1 body swap rouse was more effective in Hell than Heaven. Hell is more weary of Crowley, so that physical threat isn't as direct. But without Hell, Crowley has thrown everything into Aziraphale. When he's not with Aziraphale, he's basically a hobo living out of his car and hanging about gossiping on park benches with Shax. He's lost his own sense of self direction and purpose. Everything in Crowley's life in S2 revolves around him and Aziraphale, but Aziraphale doesn't actually know this. Crowley still has to figure out who he is, what he wants, whether Earth is really where he wants to be, or is it just anywhere as long as it's with Aziraphale.

Their relationship obviously much more open since No-pocalypse is still unspoken. The whole undertone of the S2Ep6 is them finally gearing up to speak it. To actually say "I love you", "I want you", "We are a couple, an us". Then along comes The Metatron and drops this atomic bomb of "Aziraphale back to Heaven now or else". And in 0.0 seconds, you go from the already emotionally laden, "let's finally sit down and label what we are to each other" to the complete emotional minefield of "the fundamental differences in our nature and the interference from outside forces we can't control, means we have to figure out a way to love each other and be together without both our lives being in danger". So yea, things get a little fraught, words are misinterpreted, intentions are missed, and we get The Final 15.

All of this rambling to say, not that anybody asked, I was wrong. Aziraphale doesn't need (my)anyone's forgiveness, not even Crowley's. He needs understanding. I no longer think he was saying he needed Crowley to be an angel again in order for them to be together, he was desperately trying to communicate that this is the only solution he can see out of the situation at that moment in time, Crowley is hearing none of it. Neither do we need to address Crowley kissing Aziraphale. Yes, it was desperate and painful, his literal whole world had just collapsed. He is a being of action and in the moment he had no other way of communicating how desperate he is not to lose Aziraphale, Aziraphale is far too overwhelmed to process this.

Somehow, in S3 we will get these big conversations started (if not finished - that's a helluva lot to ask of what is essentially a family action comedy) and them finally stepping out on the same page. BUT I've changed my mind. I don't want to see either of them having to apologise for the Final 15. I want to see them holding each other and letting each other know they are understood.

If only we could go back and watch and analyse and gif and edit and write about and read about those turning point moments in our lives we regret or when we have lost someone important, may be we could understand ourselves and one another alot better.

"Nothing lasts forever"

That phrase, at that moment, with those beautiful doe eyes and warm loving tone, has haunted me since the second I saw it.

It has taken me many many many viewings to get past my initial WTF Aziraphale! To see that Azira is taking Crowley's "bookshop" literally instead of the blatantly obvious "me" subtext.

Which of course makes his response a sweet retort of "I need you, not the bookshop"

BUT BUT he is still NOT forgiven! Azira may not be rejecting Crowley outright, which is how Crowley takes it, and many of us took it at first.

But he IS saying, "I don't need the bookshop, I need you to come to Heaven and become an angel again, in order for us to be together."

Which is still a rejection of who Crowley has become in the 6000+ years since his fall, and ignores the fact the being that Azirphale himself has fallen for is Demon Crowley NOT angel Crowley.

And before I can fully forgive Azira imma NEED s3 to give me him acknowledging that fact. And telling Crowley that he loves the big hearted, sarcastic, gorgeous Demon exactly the way he is!

(And then we can address Crowley rushing him with that kiss...)

[phynali]

another post about the secret good supernatural that lives in my brain

where’s that interview or convention quote from mark sheppard about how he wishes Rowena had been Crowley’s ex-wife instead of mother?

i absolutely love Rowena and Ruth O’Connell did an incredible and fantastic job with bringing her to life, but i do feel like that’s the world’s most Valid critique. 

and i kind of get that the show’s later seasons really like to dabble in the parenthood narratives, with Rowena, with Mary, with the Jack storyline, with Lebanon. what does it mean to be a mother/father/parent, and how do we do the best by our kids? what happens when we fuck up? what happens when we’re selfish? how do experience being a person and a parent when those are in conflict?

but i don’t see how making rowena into crowley’s mother really added to any of those conversations, tbh. 

if anything, them as exes would give a lot more weight to her, y’know, killing her (other) son at the end of s10. obviously she’s got this “i hate that i can’t hate you i hate that i love you” maternal thing with crowley but what if she was killing her son and crowley was thinking about the kid crowley had all those years ago who also gets resurrected when rowena is around and who crowley has to let go of, right? i mean what if that was both their kid? what if they had to mutually watch him die? what if that’s why they hated each other in the first place? what if crowley made that stupid childish deal he did just to punish himself for rowena leaving him after their son died and he blamed himself and meanwhile rowena went and got herself invested in witchcraft in a vain and failed attempt to bring their kid back and everything about them went to shit - 

god, i want this so badly now?

and i see why they might not have wanted to reduce all their stories to siblings or lovers, why other dynamics keep things fresh, but i think exes who still get along but also can’t stand one another but also love one another but are never, ever getting back together and that’s for the best but also if you lay a finger on him i’ll kill you only i get to kill him - 

well i just think that’s a bit more interesting than what we got? especially with lucifer thrown in the mix and the obvious infidelity feelings. right now lucifer and rowena reads as abusive romance but they didn’t lean into any paternal dynamic between lucifer and crowley, like it’s just pure debasement on an equal level, and they obviously just did not know or were too afraid to tap the very disturbing familial parallels they could have setup there so why even paint themselves into that corner? 

why not setup lucifer and crowley as romantic rivals, neither of whom actually want rowena or a relationship but both of whom play tug-of-war with the loyalty and allegiance of women because they’re awful people (devils, literally) and why not have rowena’s narrative involve rejecting all of that bullshit and overcoming the inherent misogyny. not to say there’s not some of that in her maternal storyline as well but it’s - empty? in comparison (by which i mean delivery). and much better explored with mary in s12.

and the samwena vibes would be so fascinating!! if rowena was crowley’s ex the show might have actually dug into crowley and sam’s super interesting and massively under-explored dynamic because the weird jealousy and territorialness would be so goddamn fun!! 

“no i don’t want to be with her but no she is not allowed to flirt with you what the hell do you mean you’re the one destined to kill her oh fucking no you aren’t that is my job she broke my heart and i am the king of hell, not you mr boy-fucking-king-who-abdicated so you will pry the right to kill her from my cold dead demon hands i will save her life just so you don’t get to kill her you bastard - “

come on! 

right now samwena and crowley was super under-explored as it is, and at minimum we 150% deserved crowley being cheeky with sam for having chemistry with his mother and sam being a little flustered/unsure how to respond while inevitably sassing crowley back. please. it would be so weird. you cannot convince me that the crowley we know and love wouldn’t have deliberately flirted with mary just to see sam’s eye twitch and for dean to break a tooth by tensing his jaw too hard. i mean it wouldn’t work because mary hates demons almost as much as sam but it would be in character and it would delight me, personally.

anyway i also saw someone else comment that when rowena was introduced the witchcraft in the show went from super fucking dark (how it was introduced to the show in kripke era, then left mostly untouched in s6-9) to pretty purple sparkles and tbh that’s so true and also dull? like rowena was legit introduced in the process of reading a book and drinking tea (or wine?) while two guys bled out slowly on her ceiling held up by her dark af magic and by the end she’s just ...  doing spells that sam and dean have no moral compunctions about using? dabb do you know what horror is as a genre why did you change the genre of this show in its final 3 seasons? why did we not get to retain the dark and demonic aspects of witchcraft? 

i am so disappointed at how they watered down so many different things with rowena and final note she absolutely should have fucked sam literally any other character behind the bookstacks except gabriel omg.