#ooooh am i spotting an inkling of a new writing muse?

[queerwheels]

okay so I recently binged good omens. I am hurt by the season 2 finale and I'm about to make it everyone's problem lmao (at least if you read this post.) CW: Good omens spoilers but i'll at least put it below the cut

aziraphale wants nothing more than to believe that heaven has everyone’s best interest at heart and he loves Crowley. I think he thought accepting head archangel position would mean that he could fix things, that he’d have more power to stop the pointless suffering of the humans, that he’d be more respected.

Meanwhile Crowley, Crowley who only went as far with heaven and hell as he could, he could see that heaven wasn’t going to change. (And for a time, hell offered novelty b/c of a new way of doing things. And then he could see that Hell wasn’t going to change.)

Back to Heaven though, he could see some of it possibly came from boredom on their part and disconnection from the lived experience of their choices being so high up. Crowley fell b/c he asked questions. B/c his opinion strayed too far from the other angels. He also could see that certain things weren’t going to change. Like the way that he helped Job to keep his kids instead of letting them be decimated and how the higher ups were like “yes but they’ll be allowed to have doubled the children, won’t that be great?” And Crowley was like “but you don’t need to kill their children. This is pointless and cruel.” (He didn't say that but that's what his actions said.)

By the time Crowley had gone as far as he could w/ hell, he’d already gone as far as he could w/ heaven. He knew there was no going back for him. He knew it. In his whole being. He didn’t want to go back.

And that’s why it was so heartbreaking when Aziraphale was so hopeful that he could go back w/ him. B/c it showed that as much as they love each other, whether they admit it verbally or not, as much as they love each other, Aziraphale couldn’t understand that Crowley fell and knew he could never go back and be true to himself.

When he fell, he knew that was not an option b/c his morals, his heart and heaven’s looseygoosey cruelty, could not ever mesh now that he’d seen them for what they were. He knew when he chose to “fall” to hell, that there was no going back for him. And until that moment of Aziraphale being so excited, Crowley thought that Az understood that too. But he didn’t. He still had rose colored glasses on for heaven, and he was willing to excuse or sabotage a few exceptions here and there. But ultimately, Az still had rose colored glasses on, he still put heaven on a pedestal whereas Crowley saw their true colors the first time.

“We could have been us.” B/c this is who Crowley was. Not an angel anymore. Not just a demon anymore. He was himself., somewhere in the gray area. And he thought he could be himself w/ Az. But Az thought he fell from heaven b/c he was forced out. And he thought that offering to bring him back to Heaven would fix everything. (And maybe he was even a little ashamed of Crowley b/c of the implied message of wanting to change him so they could be together instead of being together as who they were now?)

When I watched that last episode, I ached for both Az’s innocence as Metatron said causally, “we call it the second coming.” b/c you could see Az starting to understand. You could see his innocence shattering a little bit as he understood that this thing they’ve been working so hard to redirect so that so many ppl didn’t have to go through that, that this was inevitable as far as the higher ups were concerned.

And I also ached for Crowley b/c even if there is a season 3, even if Az and Crowley talk again, there’s a wall up now, a mistrust, a deep sadness that Crowley might never admit to but will still cause him to lash out nonetheless.