#homosexuality make brain go burrrrrr

[giantmushyfriend]

The Ineffable Husbands are ABBA coded (I went overboard on this one) (S2 SPOILERS) (I’m not sorry)

I see your “the ineffable husbands are so Hozier coded,” and your “they’re so Taylor Swift coded,” and I raise you a “the ineffable husbands are incredibly ABBA coded.” 

Listen, I know we all know about Aziraphale’s playlist having Angeleyes on it, which makes perfect sense given where Series 2 left us. I mean, come on; 

“Look into his angel eyes

One look and you’re hypnotized. 

He’ll take your heart and you must pray the price” 

And

“Sometimes when I’m lonely, I sit and think about him 

And it hurts to remember all the good times 

When I thought I could never live without him 

And I wonder, does it have to be the same

Every time? When I see him, will it bring back all the pain? 

How can I forget that name?” 

It’s obvious that this song, from a post-Series 2 standpoint is Aziraphale (and also Crowley) analyzing their relationship. It’s them admitting to themselves that although the other caused them pain, they still miss and love each other, even if they aren’t willing to admit it yet. 

However, this isn’t where the ABBA train ends. We can see Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship, both the highs and lows, in several different ABBA songs. Do you want to talk about how Crowley is probably feeling after the finale? And how he’ll probably be feeling when we get our AziraCrow reunion in S3? Let’s look at The Winner Takes It All. The entire song relates to how Crowley see’s the split and different aspects of their relationship. 

“I’ve played all my cards

And that’s what you’ve done too

Nothing more to say

No more ace to play

The Winner takes it all

The loser’s standing small” 

Tell me this is not his confession scene. Crowley laid it all out there, and it wasn’t enough. They both have laid out what they think is best, and neither of them was pursued (mostly because of the bad communication). Heaven’s influence on Aziraphale and his inherent want to do good won out, the cards were never in Crowley’s favor in this situation. He’s left with essentially nothing when Aziraphale leaves, his one constant, his one tether to this world, is gone. 

“I was in your arms

Thinking I belonged there

I figured it made sense

Building me a fence

Building me a home

Thinking I’d be strong there

But I was a fool

Playing by the rules”

Talking about how Crowley built a home within his relationship with Aziraphale, and how he feels like a fool for relying on it after its been stripped away. 

“The gods may throw a dice

Their minds as cold as ice

And someone way down here

Loses someone dear” 

In reference to God’s ineffable plan, if Aziraphale leaving him and choosing Heaven is really a part of it. To God, this separation is just a smaller part of a larger scheme, insignificant, but to Crowley, it is life-changing. He’s lost his best friend, seemingly for good, all in the name of “the greater good.” 

“Somewhere deep inside

You must know I miss you

But what can I say?

Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide

The likes of me abide”

COME ON. Crowley doesn’t believe that Aziraphale could ever love him, he’s a demon, and to the rest of the world, he is inherently below Aziraphale. Those are the “rules” of the world, and this is a dejected Crowley saying that maybe they can’t rewrite them. This is him, in his darkest moment, telling himself and Aziraphale that there is nothing they can do, rules in the end have to be obeyed and the likes of him have to abide by them eventually. 

To an extent, Aziraphale is the “winner” in this split. He’s the one that gets to leave, seemingly unbothered by the pain he is causing Crowley. We as the audience know differently, but Crowley doesn’t. In his perspective, Aziraphale has won the game. 

And their reunion in (hopefully) S3?

“And I understand

You’ve come to shake my hand”. 

Admitting defeat. Good game. 

You want Aziraphale to reflect on his mistake of leaving Crowley, which he inevitably will? Look at One of Us. 

“My picture clear

Everything seemed so easy

And so I dealt you the blow

One of us had to go”

Aziraphale is obviously still working through his toxic relationship with Heaven as an institution. In his eyes, with his belief in the greater good, everything seems easy. He can go to Heaven, make it worthy of beings like Crowley, and make it better. But when Crowley says he doesn’t want to go with him, Aziraphale knows he has to make the choice. And because of his inherent belief that Heaven can and is good, he chooses them, dealing the blow to Crowley with that final “I forgive you.” 

“One of us is crying, one of us is lying 

In a lonely bed

Staring at the ceiling

Wishing she was

somewhere else instead

One of us is lonely, and one of us is only

Waiting for a call

Sorry for herself, feeling 

stupid, feeling small

Wishing she had never left at all”

The entire chorus is Aziraphale wishing he could take back what happened that day. It’s him wishing that he was back on Earth, in his bookshop with Crowley. It’s him wishing that Crowley would come back to him. It’s him completely enveloped in regret. 

“I saw myself 

As a concealed attraction. 

I felt you kept me away 

From the heath and the action. 

Just like a child 

Stubborn and misconceiving

That’s how I started the show 

One of us had to go 

Now I’m changed and I want you to know” 

As we’ve already discussed, Aziraphale believes that Heaven is inherently good and thus must just need a push in the right direction. To him, he could be that push. When Crowley stands firm in his belief that Heaven won’t change, a part of Aziraphale had to have taken offense to that, because he’s partially hearing “Heaven won’t change, let alone for you”. Aziraphale, for his entire existence, has been told his efforts aren’t enough. So when he’s given the chance to make an impact, to finally do what he thinks is right, he jumps for it. He’s stubborn in his core beliefs that there is an inherently good and inherent evil, which we as the audience have come to learn isn’t true. To us, and probably to future Aziraphale, his past self was misconceiving. This is both present and future Aziraphale admitting that he made a mistake choosing Heaven over Crowley. This is Aziraphale pinning for the life he could have had with Crowley, for the life he gave away for what he thought was right. 

You want both of them to look back on the good times of them traveling the world throughout time before all of this Second Coming shit went down? Look at Our Last Summer. 

“I was so happy we had met

It was the age of no regret” 

“We took the chance

Like we were dancing our last dance 

I can still recall our last summer

I still see it all

In the tourist jam

Round the Notre Dame

Our Last summer

Walking hand in hand

Paris restaurants

Our last summer

Morning croissants

Living for the day 

Worries far away

Our last summer

We could laugh and play”

Do you want some angst where they both are looking back at what went wrong? Look no further, SOS has got you covered! 

“I try to reach for you, but

you have closed your mind. 

Whatever happened to our love? I wish I understood”’

That’s literally their final argument before Aziraphale leaves with Metatron. It’s them reaching for each other, both of them saying “Stay with me” but the lack of communication has shut down all hope. 

“When you’re gone, how 

can I even try to go on?”

“You made me feel alive,

but something died, I fear

I really tried to make it up

I wish I understood” 

Crowley in his last stitched attempt to make Aziraphale stay: the kiss. He tried to make it up, but it didn’t work and he doesn’t understand why it really didn’t. 

Oh, are you tired of angst? Do you want some happy ineffable husbands? ABBA beat us to it! You better believe that Crowley jams to Take a Chance on Me at least once a day. 

“Gonna do my very best 

and it ain’t no lie

If you put me to the test, if 

you let me try

Take a chance on me” 

“‘Cause you know I’ve got

So much that I wanna do 

When I dream I’m alone 

with you, it’s magic

You want me to leave it

there

Afraid of a love affair

But I think you know

That I can’t let go” 

“Oh, you can take your time baby

I’m in no hurry

Know I’m gonna get you” 

The entire song is Crowley asking Aziraphale to just give him a chance. To let him prove how much he loves him. 

Do you want them talking about that first Doomsday where they turned against their respective sides for each other? Fernando. 

“There was something in 

the air that night

The stars were bright, 

Fernando

They were shining there 

for you and me

For liberty, Fernando

Though we never thought 

that we could lose

There’s no regret

If I had to do the same

again

I would, my friend, 

Fernando” 

How about them talking about how much they love each other? I’ve Been Waiting For You, Waterloo, Super Trouper, and Lay Your Love On Me sums it up perfectly. 

I’ve Been Waiting For You:

“You’re something I’d been

pleading for

I love you, I adore you

I lay my life before you

I’ll have you want me more

and more

And finally, it seems 

my lonely days are through

I’ve been waiting for you” 

Waterloo:

“Waterloo

Promise to love you

forevermore

Waterloo

Couldn’t escape if I

wanted to

Waterloo

Knowing my fate is to be

with you”

“And how could I ever refuse

I feel like I win when I lose”

Super Trouper:

“So I’ll be there when you

arrive

The sight of you will prove 

to me I’m 

Still alive, and when you

take me in your arms

And hold me tight

I know it’s gonna mean so much tonight” 

Lay  All Your Love On Me

“It was like shooting a 

sitting duck

A little small talk, a smile

and baby I was stuck

I still don’t know what

you’ve done with me

A grown-up woman

should never fall so easily

I feel a kind of fear

When I don’t have you

near

Unsatisfied, I skip my pride

I beg you dear”

“I used to think that was sensible

It makes the truth even

more incomprehensible 

‘Cause everything is new

And everything is you

And all I’ve learned has

overturned

What can I do?” 

In conclusion, the ineffable husbands are probably the most ABBA-coded thing I’ve seen in a while. And no one talks about it! Absolutely no one! I think part of it comes from the fact that Series 2 of Our Flag Means Death has already been lumped with ABBA, but they both can be ABBA coded! Aziraphale and Crowley inspired all of the songs on the Mamma Mia set list, and you can pry that fact from my cold, dead hands.