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akawifeyy · 2 days ago

Text

silly girl | smau (LN4)

description: the life of a comedian is full of laughter, but the biggest punchline? your experience with love.

tropes: chaos galore, he's obsessed with her, sunshine x sunshine, age gap (23 and 25), comedian!fem!reader

face claim: faith collins

trigger warnings: suggestive content, some mature jokes, swearing

| note: hehehe i love this fic 🫶

@ yourusername: dallas was incredible, i had the best time laughing with you all! a recorded video of tonight's show is posted at the link in my bio if you couldn't make it. see you next weekend in austin 😘

tagged: @ standupcomedy

comments (2567):

@ user1: Amazing shows! I went to Night 2 and I couldn't breathe, I was laughing so hard. Wish I bought tickets for the other two nights.

-> @ user2: sooo real, i got to see her in miami and i felt like my heart was going to explode from laughing

@ user3: Incredible job, so proud 💖

@ user4: Mother has fed us during this tour, I never want it to end

@ yourbffusername: SCREAMING CRYING, I love you SO much Y/N

@ f1: Just 3 more days until COTA! How are you gearing up for the Grand Prix?

tagged: @ mclaren, @ mercedes, @ redbullracing, & 6 more

comments (49584):

@ landonorris: Can't wait to be a cowboy again 🤠

@ user5: COTAAAA MY BELOVED

@ user6: so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ user7: No because I'm actually a second away from crashing out because I just realized @ yourusername's show is at the same time as the Austin GP

-> @ user8: wait nonono you're joking 😭 i bought tickets too

10/19/25 at Y/N's Show (Transcript):

Y/N L/N: I feel like if I don't bring this up, the masses are going to come at me with pitchforks. (clearing throat) Today's a pretty big day in Austin. Um, Formula One is having its COTA Grand Prix.

Audience members: (whooping)

Y/N L/N: Yeah, looks like we have quite a few F1 fans in here. I'd kind of consider myself one, but please don't ask me what DRS stands for off the top of my head or what Ferrari's strategies are during races, because I wouldn't be able to tell you. But anyways, I found out that I scheduled this show at the same time as the GP.

Audience member: (loud yelling noise)

Y/N L/N: (breaks down laughing) Yep, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't realize. But I totally get it. Seeing a bunch of rich, hot men drive around in circles? Like, aw man, where did my pants go? I swear they were just on. (continues giggling) Seriously, though, some of those drivers? It should be illegal how attractive they are. Charles Leclerc, Lando Norris. Oh God, don't even get me started on Lando Norris.

Y/N L/N: (eyes widen dramatically) I never liked brunettes or Englishmen, but he might just make me change my mind.

Interview with Lando Norris (2025):

Interviewer: Have you seen the clips from Y/N L/N's most recent comedy show here in Austin?

Lando Norris: (laughs) Yes, I heard about it!

Interviewer: Thoughts?

Lando Norris: She's very funny. I like her sense of humor. But as for relationships, I have to focus on my racing, so I can't get distracted. Sorry!

10/20/25 at Y/N's Show (Transcript):

Y/N L/N: So... Yesterday's show. (makes popping sound with lips) Some of y'all, I feel like I need to ban you – and before you boo, let me explain why. I made jokes about Formula One drivers, and how hot they are, and a select few of you decided to out me? (mock gasp)

Y/N L/N: Yeah, I know! Fucking Lando Norris was interviewed about me! Isn't that insane? This ultra-rich motor sport driver was asked about some redhead girl who yaps for a living. And he called me funny? I need to put this on my resume.

Audience member: You two need to date!

Y/N L/N: The matchmaking is insane. Oh God, wait until my mother hears about this, then I'm actually cooked. I'm 23 years old, I have a lot of biological time left, but you're vultures! When is it going to end? And don't say, "When you get married to Lando Norris", because it's not happening. Sadly.

@ ynupdates: Contrary to popular belief, Y/N did have a boyfriend! This was way back in 2019 to 2022. His name is Emmett Ellgren, and they dated for three years until their mutual split. Since then, Y/N has poked fun at the relationship, but no substantial details have been released about their break up.

tagged: @ yourusername

comments (2942):

@ user9: HELP i forgot about emmett he's such an npc 😮‍💨

@ user10: emmett is no longer relevant to the lore

-> @ user2: The real man we should be paying attention to is Lando Norris

-> @ user8: i know omg 😭

comments (3842):

@ user11: They're both silly gooses, I'm scared to see the havoc they'll wreak together in McLaren 🥲

@ user12: i'll believe it when i see it

@ user13: Lando is too immature to have a stable girlfriend

-> @ user3: which is why Y/N's perfect, they'll be immature together 🥰

-> @ user4: This just proves you've never watched one of Y/N's shows before lmao

Y/N's Instagram Story (2025):

comments (8521):

@ user13: OMG OMG OMG IT'S STARTING

-> @ user14: I'm so glad I get to be alive during the LandoY/N era

@ user12: It'll be so funny if this turns out to be from Oscar or something 🙃

-> @ user15: HELP

Text Messages between Y/N and Lando (2025):

@ landonorris: P3 in Mexico! Awesome results

tagged: @ mclaren, @ f1, @ yourusername

comments (64312):

@ user16: ALERT ALERT Y/N HAS BEEN TAGGED

@ user13: guys i'm actually gonna combust 🫣🔥

-> @ user17: They're together, it has to be

@ yourusername: nice sombrero 😋

-> @ landonorris: Thank you!!!

Text Messages between Y/N and Lando (2025):

@ yourusername: hola mexico 🇲🇽

tagged: @ landonorris

comments (3846):

@ yourbffusername: Looks so fun!

-> @ yourusername: yes it was incredible

@ user10: laaandoooo i see you 👀

@ user18: How does it feel to be living my dream

@ landonorris: So glad you could make it, had a lot of fun talking to you

@ f1gossip: It is rumored that comedian Y/N L/N and McLaren driver Lando Norris are together, after Y/N posted a photo of her receiving paddock passes, and the pair responded to one another's posts about the Mexico Grand Prix.

tagged: @ yourusername, @ landonorris

comments (1293):

@ user9: i'm waitinggg

@ user10: this is worse than the wait for reputation tv

-> @ user18: clowning so hard i know 😖

@ user19: HAVE ANY OF YOU GUYS SEEN LANDO'S INSTA STORY? 🤯

Lando's Deleted Instagram Story:

comments (235):

@ user20: OMGOMGDSDKLSDDNS

@ user21: my eyes are not deceiving me, this is y/n

@ user5: Y/N IS THAT YOU 😳

@ landonorris: OK OK yes I give in, we are together. Happy one month, @ yourusername, I love you to the moon and back!

tagged: @ yourusername

comments (34852):

@ user21: classic Lando accidentally posting the wrong thing and outing himself

-> @ user22: idk what else we would expect from chaos incarnate 😭

@ yourusername: love you too, muppet 😘

Interview with Lando Norris (2025):

Interviewer: So, you've just recently announced that you're dating Y/N L/N!

Lando Norris: Yes, I'm really happy about it.

Interviewer: Any plans to bring her to the next race?

Lando Norris: Maybe, we'll see. (laughs and smiles) The paddock is a lot cheerier when she's there, so hopefully, fingers crossed. I'm very, very lucky to call her mine.

─── ୨୧ ─── THE END ─── ୨୧ ───

#f1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 #ln4 #ln4 x reader #lando norris #formula one #f1 fic #f1 writer #f1 fanfic #f1 smau

277 notes · View notes

moon-ttokki-x · 2 days ago

Note

oh my god I’m stupid I requested 8, 9, and 39 for the SKZ prompt list but I forgot to ask for which member. Bangchan pretty please 🥺👉👈

hihi this took so long sorry >< . . . this is a lot more angsty than anticipated but i hope it works. i wrote it a little differently that i normally would, but here you go, love~~

stupidly perfect - (best friend!bang chan x reader)

pairing: bang chan x reader

summary: chan has never noticed how you feel for him, and one fateful evening, you let it all spill.

genre: angsty as hell, idol!au, reader lowkey enters their villain era, mentions of eating and drinking, overexcited maknaes, chan is kinda oblivious in this fic ngl, supportive felix, itzy mentions (yeji, ryujin, chaeryoung if that counts ig), this is super sad tbh

a/n: this took a while tbh . . . div by @ferretmilkshakezzz

⛓️ prompts: 8. "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere." / 9. "You can rest now." / 39. "I can't keep pretending I'm fine."

skz masterlist | skz prompt list

"Y/n, do you wanna come to that ramen restaurant with us later?" Jisung tugs at your arm, skipping alongside you. "We've been wanting to go for ages, and we all finally have schedules off tonight."

"Yeah, come with us," Jeongin adds. "It'll be fun."

The maknaes are tagging all around you as you walk down the hallway, trying your best to keep a hold on all the papers you're carrying. It's difficult when they're fluttering around you like overexcited birds.

You'd taken the job at JYPE around four months ago; it was decided after a very long period of doubting and worrying that it wouldn't work out after what happened at your last workplace. But your best friend, Chan, had been super supportive throughout the whole thing, even offering to help you move into your little apartment down the road from the company. He'd brought some of his friends to help with the heavy lifting, and from there, you'd pretty much been adopted into the group he'd formed and was the leader of.

Not like you had a choice in the first place.

But you didn't mind; you'd been worried partly because of the fact that you wouldn't have any friends when you'd moved to this part of Korea; Chan had managed to inadvertently solve that issue without trying. Now, the four excitable boys skipped and bickered around you as you set down the papers on your office desk. Wiping the minimal sweat from your forehead, you sighed and pried Seungmin away from the trinkets neatly lining your bookshelf.

"Who else is going?" You ask as Jisung whines about you coming to the restaurant for the umpteenth time.

Seungmin shrugs, interrupting his friend. "All of the members, you, and a couple of the girls from our dance crew."

You feel your heart sink just as your brain tells you to agree; it's been ages since you went out with the guys, and you honestly couldn't wait for a break. Work was always stressful around comeback season, but you'd all settled into the rhythm of it soon enough. Spending an evening out with eight of your best friends eating some soul food sounded like a good idea. A better idea than spending the evening on the couch in your apartment, eating ice cream in complete silence. Alone.

You bite your lip, anticipating. "Which of the dance crew girls?"

Jeongin shrugs from the sofa, swinging his legs over a disgusted Seungmin's lap as he lounges back. "The usuals; Yeji, Ryujin, Young-hee, and Chae. Why?"

"No reason," you say, turning back to the bookshelf to unnecessarily reorganise something, fiddling with the solid fabric spine of one of your books. "I'll let you know if I'm coming. Now, clear out."

Your last comment doesn't bother the maknaes at all; they know you don't like your office being messed up, so they call goodbyes, and Jisung sneakily pokes your side as he filters out the door. Felix, however, remains.

You try to ignore the sinking feeling in your chest and keep a neutral expression as you turn the dark-haired boy. He looks so different from his usual blonde-haired countenance; however, no less beautiful, and not for the first time do you hold yourself back from carding your fingers affectionately through his hair.

You exhale. "Do you need something, Lix?"

He sits down on your chair, swinging it backwards and leaning his forearms across the back. An air of resignation flows around him. "You're not coming tonight, are you?"

You bite your lip. "I'll see."

His voice is quiet. "You've said that since Chae started hanging around us. Is it because of her?"

You scoff, dropping a pen. "No. Why would you think that?"

Felix leans forward on the chair, nosy. "It is because of her, isn't it? Do you not like her? Is it because of Chan-hyung?"

You whip around to face him, exasperated. The explanation bubbles out of you like molten lava from a temperamental volcano. "Okay, fine! I just- I can't stand seeing her around him. They're so close, and they always seem so wrapped up in each other-"

You cut yourself off then, not wanting to say anything you might regret. Chae is nice enough; she's never done anything explicitly hurtful towards you, though you secretly have suspicions that she doesn't like you at all. But you stay quiet, trying to dissipate the rising frustration blooming in your chest.

Felix is quiet.

You know he knows; he's known for ages about your little crush on his leader. You were afraid to tell him, once upon a time; but all you got in response from the affectionate chicken boy was a hushed giggle and a gentle encouragement to tell Chan how you feel. He hasn't told anyone else about your feelings, and you know he would continue to keep his mouth shut. But you wish, even just a little, that someone else would notice and find a way to get Chae away from your best friend.

"No wonder she likes him too," you say quietly to yourself, sinking into your office chair.

And it isn't a wonder, really. Chan is sweet, and gentle, and kind, and so, so, supportive and admirable. There's not a single flaw about him, except perhaps his slight dislike towards himself and his irritation when it comes to those soft, dark curls that frame his perfect face so perfectly-

You shake yourself out of it. Felix is still looking at you quietly, his head tilted in thought.

"You do know," he says carefully, "that you're closer with Chan that Chae is?"

"But still," you groan. "He always seems so much happier around her, and he always only talks to her when you all go out-"

"How would you know?" Felix cries, throwing his hands up. "You're not even there half the time, and Chan only talks to her because you're not there for him to talk to. He has to settle for her because he's fed up of us, and he's not close with Yeji, Ryujin, or Young-hee."

You sigh and hop up onto the desk, swinging your legs over the side. "I just can't stand it, Lix. Seeing them together..."

His expression softens. "I know, Y/n, and I know how frustrated you get when they're all over each other, but you have to at least try. Come with us. If not for him, then for us. We miss you."

"I'm right here."

Felix sighs softly. "That's not what I meant."

You rub two fingers along the bridge of your nose, trying to think straight. You can't get the images out of your mind; Chan and Chae giggling to each other, her touching his arm, him reciprocating the affection... no one said it would hurt this bad when you watch your best friend fall for someone else.

No one said it would hurt this much when you realise that you're in love with said best friend either.

"I can't keep pretending I'm fine," you say, so softly you're not sure Felix hears it. But he does.

"Then don't pretend," he urges gently. "Get him to fall for you. You're halfway there already, I'm pretty sure. But it's not gonna happen if you're always at a distance from him."

He has a point, you think. But, being as stubborn as you are, there's still that nagging doubt in the back of your mind that Chan will never feel the same way that you do, whether you're with him or not-

"Y/n," Felix says, a little more firmly.

You know exactly what he's thinking; sighing, and then bending down to pick up the pen you dropped earlier, you slot it back into the holder on the desk.

"Fine," you say quietly, trying and failing to hide the tiny smile twitching at the corners of your mouth. "I'll come."

Felix lets out a whoop.

You pull your jacket a little closer around yourself as you head round the corner, the evening wind whipping your hair into a state of extreme disarray. Sighing and then spluttering as you pull strands of it out of your mouth and eyes, you duck around people and head to the restaurant, its warm, golden light drawing you in like a moth to a flame.

You're not late, so to speak; you spot the group sitting at a large corner booth with comfy seats, mingling and chattering, and you notice Felix immediately. His face lights up when he sees you, half with relief and half with something else you can't quite decipher. He makes to get up before you're almost tackled to the floor by Jisung and Jeongin, who are pretty much hollering at the top of their lungs.

Minho shushes them insistently as he tugs them off you, bowing before shoving both maknaes back into their seats.

"Y/n," Jeongin says happily. "We didn't think you'd come."

You chuckle awkwardly and settle into the spot next to Felix, trying not to look around for Chan like you always do. "Yeah, I needed a break. Besides, you two would have come for my throat if I turned the invitation down one more time."

"Damn right," Jisung interjects, all three of you dissolving into giggles.

You look around then; not everyone is here. Hyunjin and Yeji are still missing, both Hwangs late as per usual, and you know Changbin will come by a little later, having decided to work out before treating himself for the evening. You make a mental note to stick to your work ethic as well as he does, but it's interrupted by the familiar tone of someone speaking your name.

"You look nice, Y/n," Chan says from next to Felix, who is sitting in between both of you.

Chae is sitting next to Chan, you notice with some sadness and displeasure; her long, pinky-blonde hair is straight and neat, long acrylic nails coming up to brush strands of it off her perfect porcelain cheeks, flushed with the cold. At least, you hope it's the cold and not the effect of Chan's probably flirting before you arrived.

Despite the indignance rising in your stomach, you can't help but notice how Chan looks tonight; his hair is slightly damp from the chilly weather outside, the adorably messy strands of it curling against his temples and nape. His eyes are crescents as he gazes into yours, and you fight the urge to reach over and wipe the faint remainder of strawberry milk off the curve of his plush bottom lip.

You know exactly where he'd bought the little drink carton of it from; there's a vending machine just down the street, one that the boys always buy drinks from before eating out. It was their tradition, and one that you gladly partook in, that is before you became too shy to be around the boys.

Because of Chan and his stupid perfectness.

You suddenly come back down to earth and realise that Chan is still gazing at you; Chae is laughing obnoxiously loud in the background behind him, no doubt to recapture his attention, but all you can focus on is the fact that you're locking eyes with the most beautiful person on earth. And also the fact that you haven't replied to his little indirect compliment, so you just nod and turn back to the table to fiddle with the menu in front of you.

Felix exhales discreetly and you fight a grin, watching as he unpeels himself from the corner of the table. He'd been bending over it so you could lean back to talk to Chan, and he pokes you affectionately in the side as you thank him quietly, clearing your throat in an attempt to get rid of the flush painting your cheeks.

"Could've warned me about how pretty he looks," you mutter to Felix under your breath. He just chuckles and touches your knee as everyone begins to order.

The food arrives just as Hyunjin, Yeji, and Changbin make their dramatically late entrance; they clatter noisily into their seats, and you bump fists with Yeji just as everyone begins to dig in.

There's brief silence as everyone begins to fill their stomachs with soul food, and then the chatter eventually rises again as the members turn to each other to bicker and laugh. You almost snort a noodle out of your mouth as you watch Hyunjin take a hairclip out of his bag to clip his hair back, before realising it's not there. Seungmin, sitting next to him, runs his hand through the boy's kiwi-like hair before turning back to his ramen.

You almost start to enjoy yourself, but there's still that lingering tension that you feel rests in the air between you and Chan; if anyone else has noticed it, they're not saying anything. Felix, noticing your quietness, tries to fill the space between you with small talk and jokes, but it doesn't seem to help. Once or twice, he even brings Chan into the conversation in a bid to try and get you two to converse, but Chae interjects more and more frequently until you quietly tell Felix to stop.

You feel bad because of it; you know he's just trying to help, but it isn't working. And it's beginning to make you feel worse, the fact that it seems not even the dark-haired sunshine boy can get his leader to try and talk to you. And you realise, all of a sudden, that maybe it's not Chan that's the problem.

There are two possible reasons that Chan doesn't seem to want to talk to you; you thought maybe he would talk more with you tonight, considering it's been so long since you've been out with them, but you're crestfallen as you realise that not more than a few words have been exchanged between the two of you tonight.

And it strangely breaks your heart.

The other reason is that Chae might have been badmouthing you behind your back to Chan, or it could be because of the fact that Chan genuinely likes her. You're not sure, but that belief is confirmed as you look across to see Chan holding out his chopsticks to her, bringing a piece of tempura to her perfect, pink lips.

Watching in horror and completely forgetting about the cooling ramen in front of you, you watch as Chae accepts the tempura with a little giggle, batting her lashes at Chan as he reaches up to wipe a crumb off her lip. The sight is so equally disgusting and upsetting that you immediately stand up, moving out of the booth as tears blur your eyes.

"Where are you going?" Jisung calls after you, Felix looking up from his food.

"Bathroom," you call over your shoulder, your voice surprisingly strong considering the fact that tears and beginning to stream down your cheeks.

Not wanting to make a fuss or arouse suspicion from the group, you do actually head to the bathrooms, locking the cubicle door behind you and sinking down against the door. You couldn't care less if it's dirty right now, the only thought in your head the mental image of your best friend and Chae giggling and flirting all over each other, blissfully unaware of your misery.

It's not fair.

"Maybe it's me," you whisper to yourself, sniffling as you rip off a piece of toilet paper, scrubbing at your face. You feel so pathetic and unworthy; what kind of person hides out in the bathroom crying over a guy who probably doesn't even care about them?

Standing up and checking you have your phone and wallet, you sigh as you feel the weight of them in your pockets. Good. You can just leave without having to go back to the table. The last thing you want right now is to talk to anyone, or have to put up a fake cheerful front.

Heading to the back of the restaurant, the once-inviting golden lights now feeling like a spotlight, you emerge out into the street, the cold wind soothing the hot, sticky tear irritation on your cheeks. You head to the parking garage down the street and try to walk as quickly as you can past the opening of the ramen restaurant, lest any of the group notice you walking away.

And they don't, not least until you cross the street and head down the dimly light footpath.

Someone grabs your wrist suddenly and you cry out, whipping your head back so fast to see who it is you think you might have whiplash.

Chan is standing there, his hand solid and warm around your wrist, the wind ruffling his dark hair back from his bare face. You can see the glint of his silver earrings under the streetlights.

"Wait," he pants. "Where are you going?"

You can't fight the hot, wet tear rolling down your cheek and inwardly curse it for escaping. "Home."

"Why?" He asks, concern and worry painting his expression. "Are you not feeling well?"

You fight the urge to slap him; it wouldn't be fair, however much you want to do it. He just doesn't understand. He doesn't understand any of it. And you want nothing more to run into his arms and spill all your thoughts and feelings like you have so many times before, but you can't.

Not this time.

You can't tell Chan that you've loved him since who knows how long; that seeing him makes your heart feel lighter, the way a high schooler might feel seeing their crush in the sunny hallways. You can't tell him how many times you styled your hair to look a little like his, hoping the curls that make him look so handsome might make you a little more attractive too. You can't tell him how many times you ran late for schedules just because you took a detour to his studio to talk with him, even if it was just for a minute.

Even if all of it was a waste in the end. Because he likes someone else, and that someone else isn't you.

So you just shake your head as the tears come streaming down, and rip your wrist out of his grip before turning and walking away. The earth feels like it's shattering around you.

Or maybe that's just your heart.

But Chan doesn't give up; you hear his footsteps continue behind you, hurried and irregular, like he's trying to decide whether to let you go or make you stay.

"Y/n," he pants. "Wait, just- will you stop walking so fast? Please, wait, slow down- What's wrong?"

"Everything's wrong!" You cry out, turning to face him as you throw your hands up. A sob rips through your lungs, face contorting with the force of your tears. "Okay? Everything's wrong."

Chan is silent, one hand out in an unsteady attempt to calm you. "What are you talking about? You're worrying me."

You scoff and kick a stone across the footpath, harshly rubbing a hand across your cheekbone.

"Y/n, please," he pleads, his voice quieter. "Felix noticed you were gone for too long earlier, and I saw you walking out of the restaurant. Please, tell me what's wrong. You look so upset."

"Then stop looking."

He recoils, looking slightly hurt, before it's overtaken by a look of determination. You know that look; it either results in an all-nighter to finish a song track, an attempt to wrangle seven naughty kids, or a hard-to-have conversation. You know it's the last one.

"Please," he says, even quieter. "Tell me what's wrong. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

"It's you," you say, broken with utter resignation.

He takes a step forward. "What?"

"It's you," you repeat, looking away as another hysterical sob brings the wind inside your body. It's sharp and biting, and it brings back some of your courage. But only some.

You raise your eyes to look at him. Maybe this is the last conversation you'll have with Chan, before he decides he doesn't want to be around someone who's in a one-way love story with him. Even if that person is his best friend.

"You don't realise, do you?" You whisper brokenly. "You never realised I was in love with you, Chan. But that's just who you are. You may be kind and compassionate and intuitive, but you never realised why I do what I do, or why I act the way I act around you."

His face is contorted in utter disbelief; whether it's from shock or disgust, you don't want to know.

"I realised around the time you helped me move in," you continue. Might as well get all of it out now. "I looked at you differently after a while. I didn't see my best friend anymore. I saw someone else, someone stronger and more clever and more dedicated and more perfect and flawless. And it was strange, because I realised that you changed so much. Maybe I changed too, but it was different seeing you walking around at the company and going about your schedules, because I felt different about it all. I felt different about you. And I couldn't let it go, not least when we actually talked. I used to be late for most of my meetings and events because I would take detours to see you. Some days I would think about canceling my schedules just so I could be around you more.

"And I love the boys, I do, Chan. So much. But I have to admit, I wouldn't be around them half as much if you weren't there. I felt so drawn to you, not like the way I did when we were friends. I figured that if I didn't want to lose you, I would have to discipline myself. So I did.

"I threw myself into my work; I gave myself so much to do, partially to distract myself, partially to use work as an excuse whenever I was invited out, like tonight. Just because I knew you would be there, and I didn't want to end up spilling it all to you, because I knew it would ruin everything between us. Forever.

"And when Chae started hanging around us, I didn't mind at first; I sort of liked her. But I started hating her because of how close she would get to you, how much you two would secretly talk between yourselves, and it made me upset. So I ended up spending much more time by myself so that I would be able to forget she existed. So that I could forget that she ever entered the picture, and that it was just me and my secret that I kept from you. For so long, Chan. You have no idea how much I had to hold myself back from you.

"Did you assume that I never wanted to go out with you guys? That I never wanted to buy drinks from that vending machine the members always go to before eating out, or that I didn't want to spend time with you? Because I did, Chan. But I forced myself not to, because I couldn't bear to see you, and most of the time I didn't know if Chae was going to be there. I told myself I wasn't going to sit there and watch you be with her, not while I felt so invisible and unseen around you.

"Let me tell you something, Chan," you choke through sobs at him, pointing a finger at his chest as though it were a gun. "Every time Jisung or Jeongin or one of the boys invited me out, I did actually show up. Even if you never saw me. I would watch from a distance to see if Chae was with you; if she was, I would turn around and leave, and go home. If not, I would smile from around the corner as the maknaes begged you for money to buy drinks from that vending machine. And then I would turn around and go home anyway.

"I know every single one of their preferences; even if you didn't know I was there to observe them bickering and choosing, faces lit by streetlight. I would go around to the vending machines at the company and randomly buy their favourites for them, even if you didn't know how I knew. I would buy them for you too, and debate leaving a little note for you telling you how I felt alongside it, and I never did.

"Because, despite all of that, it was all a waste," you snap at him. You're not sure why you're angry; you suppose it's the result of feeling unheard for so long. "It was a waste, Chan. Because you never even noticed how I felt. So don't come chasing after me in the night like this like you care, because it was Felix who told you to come after me, Felix who noticed I had been gone for too long, not you of your own accord. And don't look worried or concerned either, because I've told you what's wrong, Chan, just as you asked. You can rest now."

You can barely see him through the blur of your tears.

"Y/n," he whispers, broken as you feel. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't care," you cry out at him, turning and storming in the other direction. And this time, he doesn't follow, still standing under the streetlight with his hand out, though you're not there to take it.

You sob bitterly as you almost flee around the corner, breaking out into a full-on run, like sprinting can fix the problem, fix your heart and your tears. It doesn't, however, and you feel worse as you bolt pass the crossing light, not caring about its colour. Later you will realise that running with blurry vision and a hysterical, heartbroken mindset was not the wisest idea.

You don't see the car speeding towards you until it's too late.

a/n: *laughs in writer*

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peachylynnie · 14 hours ago

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house edge

word count: 3.5k (making up for my absence) synopsis: in which sylus finally talks to you, alone. contains: pt 3 of blackjack, pt 2 of ace, sylus x fem!reader (non mc), moderately obsessive sylus, LOT'S OF TENSION, the twins appear, alcohol consumption, cursing, weapons, violence (death, mentions of suicide), and references to gambling. a/n: house edge refers to the odds advantage in the house/dealer's favor. haha this totally isn't late haha. i'm back in school and wifi sucks so this took awhile. i still hope you enjoy. reblogs and comments are always appreciated. lmk if you want to be tagged for the rest of the series. tagged: @sprout341 @miffysoo previous chapter | lads masterlist | next chapter

before he can savor that addictive look on your face (he couldn't care less about the cards), sylus' phone rings.

"tch," he clicks his tongue, ready to decline whoever's interrupting his moment with you.

however, his brows furrow upon reading who's calling.

the twins.

sylus curses under his breath as he stands up. he can't reject their call. he's made it clear to them that they should call only when it's important.

"i'll get back to you on my wager soon, gentlemen," he says as he strides towards the door, ignoring sherman and his lackey's frantic attempts at a compromise. "sweetie," he nods at you, brings the phone to his ear, and steps out of the lounge.

as sherman and his lackey lunge for sylus' cards to search for signs of foul play, you frown at the door he just closed.

this guy. he's no ordinary guy. of course, you knew that when your handler stationed you here. he's the head of onychinus for fuck's sake, the infamous person who runs the infamous faction that runs the infamous n109 zone. but seriously? anyone in their right mind would stay after seeing the hands on the table, especially after a whole night of losing. your handler emphasized that despite how much the rumors about him vary, they all point to him being a cunning man, capable of bringing a rival faction to their knees in less than a day.

it’s not like he’s a gambling addict either. you’ve seen your fair share of them, and they all have this crazed look in their eyes. but no, this fucker gave you the most smug look before tapping the table. it's almost as if he knew he was going to win.

"hey, we need you at the bar," your one-day manager calls for you. "lounge's closing in five minutes."

"yeah," you exhale a deep breath. you need to calm down. it’s bad enough you lost your composure (in front of the head of onychinus of all people). for now you’ll focus on what’s important: no longer the commission but getting out of here. as soon as the last cup is put away, you’ll ring for transportation and book it.

"goodnight gentlemen," you step away from the table. sherman and his lackey stand up in pursuit. "i would advise against any attempts at violence," you say as politely as you can. "this is a lounge, after all. one that is closing too. have some tact, will you?"

and with that, you walk towards the bar, paying no mind to their insulted faces. if they still decide to follow you, you'll use your evol to the max. you can’t afford to care about anyone who’s within fifty meters anymore. every additional second spent here is jeopardizing your chances of escaping sylus qin. did you see that nod? he's nowhere near done with you.

luckily, you don't hear footsteps chasing you. once you reach the bar, you quickly scan the lounge before collecting the empty glasses.

all seemed well for a moment. there were little signs of your one-day manager assigning you more tasks. there were many signs of sherman and his lackey waltzing out. most importantly, there was every sign of you finishing your task, meaning you could soon leave without running into a certain silver-haired man.

however, there were no signs of sherman's gun on the table.

♢♢♢♢♢

it's raining by the time sylus leans back against an alleyway, a hand in his pocket and a foot against the wall.

"speak."

"hey boss!" luke and kieran greet simultaneously through the phone.

"you'll never guess what we found out," the older chirps.

"idiot, he's the one who sent us here," the younger reminds.

"what did you just call me?!"

"cut to the chase," sylus snaps. "i'm in a hurry right now." he is very much in a hurry right now, damn it. every additional second spent here is jeopardizing his chances of seizing you, having you. he needs to get back to the lounge as soon as possible. he needs to see you, talk to you, squeeze out of you that enticing look you had on your face less than five minutes ago.

"woah there, boss. is everything okay? you sound tense," luke asks.

sylus sighs, pinching his nose bridge. "yes, everything is fine, luke. thanks for asking." he glances at the rain-covered window across from him to see if you're still at the table. he frowns when he doesn't see you. "did you confirm what i asked you to?"

"yes," kieran answers, earning a grumble from his twin about his stolen thunder. "there are no authentic protocores here at sherman's warehouse. actually, there are no protocores here at all."

"seems like he was trying to strike us a deal with nothing," luke pipes in.

"how disappointing," sylus chuckles drily. "not surprising, though."

"should we go after him, boss?" the twins excitedly suggest at the same time.

"no need," sylus peels himself off the wall and moves over to the window for a better view. "i'll take care of him myself," he assures as he wipes the glass. he's delighted to find you at the bar drying a glass while sherman and his lackey make their way towards the exit, which leads right into the alleyway he's in. "in fact, i'll take care of him right now."

and with that, he hangs up the call. right on cue, sherman and his lackey step out of the lounge, their faces twisted with frustration from all the losses they experienced tonight. however, their faces immediately morph into fear upon seeing the head of onychinus.

"gentlemen," sylus smirks as he pockets his phone. "i just heard something very interesting."

in a blink of an eye, bloody, inky wisps wrap around the two men's necks and slam them into the wall. the very wall the feared man was leaning on moments ago. how unfortunate.

"w-wait," sherman chokes out. "let's t-talk about t-this."

"what could there possibly be to talk about, sherman?" sylus mocks with crossed arms. "surely not the fact that you tried to deal me not even fake protocores but none at all?"

one would find it difficult to determine if the two men were going pale from the lack of air or the abundance of fear. perhaps both. how unfortunate.

"no matter," sylus shakes his head. "let's talk about my wager instead, shall we?"

the air shifts as his evol tightens around sherman and his lackey's necks. the crimson and ivory tendrils rampage faster and faster, signaling for a brutal execution to come, a signature move every bastard in the n109 zone is aware of. however, the dreaded crushing and disintegration of flesh never comes. seizing this chance, sherman desperately searches for something in his pocket.

“looking for this?”

his eyes widen upon seeing his gun in sylus’ hand.

nobody, not a single one of you, noticed him swipe the gun before leaving.

“now, about my wager,” sylus cocks the gun. “how about your lives?” he aims at the drenched forehead of its owner. “surely it’s the least both of you can do after trying to trick me.” he places a finger on the trigger. “again.”

before sherman can open his pathetic mouth, sylus pulls the trigger, a glorious bang ringing through the rainy night sky. he doesn’t give the lackey a chance to mourn. instead, he gives him the same fate as his employer: a bullet lodged deep into his skull. not a single one of them was worth his evol.

wiping the blood off his cheek, sylus tuts. “felled by your own gun.” he releases his evol. “how unfortunate.”

after chucking the gun on the floor, he approaches the entrance of the lounge. he doesn’t have time to clean up the corpses. he’ll just escort you out another way (yes, this man plans to accompany you wherever you go after tonight). unable to hide his frenzied smile, he grips the door handle and steps in.

♢♢♢♢♢

the brief pitter-patter of rain let in by the door should’ve been your first sign to hightail it out of here. the silver-haired man who’s currently seated at the bar with an elbow planted should’ve been your second. the red hungry eyes trailing over your figure most definitely should’ve been your third.

but you’re too busy drying the glasses with your back turned. big mistake.

“a glass of gin fizz, please.”

you still.

“make that two, actually,” he adds.

you don’t turn around. you don’t dare to. instead, you slowly grab the last glass, prepared to put it away.

“i’m afraid the lounge is closed, mr. sylus,” you counter gracefully.

the man chuckles, leaning back in the stool. “surely this lounge can make an exception for the head of onychinus.”

“of course!” your manager dashes out of the employees' room, eager to earn the lounge additional funds. “what are you doing?!” she scolds you with what she thinks is your name. you’re thankful you have an alias tonight because the idea of sylus knowing your identity turns your stomach, which you’re sure is what he’s trying to do by ordering two glasses past closing time. “pour him a glass of gin fizz!” she instructs and dashes back into the employees’ room. you resist the urge to curse when you hear the employees’ entrance lock, meaning she clocked out for the night, meaning it was just you and sylus. couldn’t she have just made the drinks herself if she wanted the additional funds that badly?

exhaling deeply, you use the glass in your hand to scoop up some ice. no point in resisting. last thing you want is for your handler to nag you for not cooperating with the client’s staff, especially when you already gave up on the commission. might as well just get this over with.

“i wouldn’t scoop the ice first if i were you, sweetie,” sylus snaps you out of your thoughts. “it’ll dilute the alcohol.”

you don’t say anything. you just grab a bottle of gin and pour it into a jigger. your customer scoffs.

“are you ignoring me, sweetie?”

you pour the gin into a shaker and squeeze some lemon juice.

“if you’re upset about something, then you should tell me.”

you take out the simple syrup from the fridge and pour it into the jigger.

“how about this?” he starts.

you add the syrup to the shaker along with three ice cubes.

“i ask you a question, and you ask me a question.”

you equip the shaker with its strainer and start shaking it violently.

“aren’t you curious as to how i won?”

you freeze. only now do you feel the chill of the liquor from the shaker.

“go ahead, sweetie,” sylus coaxes, thrilled to finally have your attention. “ask. i know you want to. your face back there said it all.”

placing the shaker down, you open its lid, pour its contents into the ice-filled glass, add a generous amount of soda water, turn around, and slam the glass in front of sylus.

that’ll shut him up for a minute or two.

but it takes everything in you not to gasp when you look up from the glass.

since when was it raining outside? he’s seated with his shiny, silvery hair messily slicked back, beads of water slowly dripping down his face and neck, his drenched button-up suit clinging onto his chest and forearms for dear life, and his ruby-streaked blazer not only hanging from his broad shoulders but also adding to the puddles forming beneath the stool.

you make a mental note to inform your handler that the head of onychinus is NOT some old, short man with a face only a mother could love, like some of the rumors say.

enjoying your gaze on him, sylus tilts his head teasingly. “well?”

you can’t back down. it sounds like he won’t either until you talk to him. pinning your hands on the counter, you lean in. “why did you hit? you knew your chances were low, even after looking at my cards.”

he doesn’t answer immediately. it’s your turn to expect something from him, want something from him. it’s the least you could do after driving him in circles the whole night. besides, he wants a closer look at your face; commit it to memory in case you even think about leaving without compensating him for the absolute torture you put him through.

after taking a slow sip from the glass, sylus asks, “ever heard of gambling addicts, sweetie?”

you squint at him. “yes, but you aren’t one.”

“oh,” he quirks a brow. “so you know of me?”

“everyone in the n109 zone knows who you are, mr. sylus.”

“yes, but you aren’t from the n109 zone, miss dealer.”

you tense. although the shift in your shoulders was incredibly tiny, it was taken hostage by his eyes. he’s impressed by how controlled your reactions are.

but now it's his turn to ask.

standing up from his stool, sylus leans in dangerously close and whispers, “what brings you to the n109 zone, sweetie?”

you don’t answer. but you don’t back away either. sylus likes that. he likes what’s happening right now. when was the last time he felt this ecstatic from a conversation? even though your answers were cryptic, he was able to conclude that you come from a place or are in a position where his existence is made aware, and probably in certain detail too, given your insistence on him not being a gambling addict. when was the last time he had a gin fizz that tasted this good? he’s delighted the serving he had at the previous table was also made by you (how does this psycho know that). and most importantly, when was the last time he felt threatened? something is unsettling about the way you won every single game tonight, with a look of indifference too.

by chance, are you an evolver?

“i assure you, i am from here, mr. sylus,” you answer with a small smile. it doesn't reach your eyes. removing your hands from the counter (he frowns when you do), you turn around to make another glass. hopefully his previous request for two will serve as a distraction. “you’re welcome to look into my name, but i’m sure the head of onychinus has better things to do than to worry about some dealer.”

sylus laughs. he actually laughs. although it isn’t loud, the intervals as to which his rich voice seeps through are enough to convey that your lie hasn’t convinced him. “sweetie,” he shakes his head endearingly and sits down. “because i am the head of onychinus, everything and everyone in the n109 zone is subjected to my worrying, including intruders who use fake names.”

you spin back around, your eyes full of alarm. how does he know about your alias? no, how does he even know you’re not from here? from the beginning, that’s what he’s been insisting on. there’s no way someone as busy as him could know about every single person residing in the n109 zone. at least, that’s what your handler said (oh how wrong she was).

“do you truly expect me to believe that is your name?” sylus repeats your alias with scorn. it’s an injustice to your frame. “it doesn’t suit you. you need to pick better names, sweetie.

what the fuck. he’s convinced you’re an intruder because your alias doesn’t suit you?! this guy. this guy’s not sane. that’s it. now you really need to get out of here. glaring at him, you snatch his glass and dump its contents down the drain. damn it, you wasted too much time. he got you. he got you good. he never intended to uphold his “a question for a question” deal in the first place, given his bullshit answer about gambling addicts.

“i’m afraid i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lie through gritted teeth. “now excuse me, mr. sylus. the lounge was supposed to close fifteen minutes ago.”

sylus licks his lips. he can almost taste the frustration in your face and voice. it’s intoxicating. that’s the second time he’s forced a reaction out of you. how much more until you beg him to stop?

“of course, miss dealer,” he concedes mockingly. "allow me to escort you out.”

“that won’t be necessary,” you hiss. “my car is right around the alleyway.”

“still,” he blocks you from exiting the bar. “it’s dark and raining outside. it’s the least i could do to pay for the drink.”

“money will do,” you frown.

“i’m afraid i’m all out, sweetie,” he smiles. “you did quite the number on me, after all.”

you scoff. not only is his smile shameless, but so is his lie. you may not be from here, but you know damn well it’s going to take an eternity of games to even leave a dent in the head of onychinus’ bank account. you glance at the clock. you should have called for transportation by now. technically, you still can, but you need to be outside. and it doesn’t look like he’ll let you go anytime soon unless you accept his offer.

“you can walk me to the alleyway,” you sigh.

“not to your car?”

you scowl at him. don’t push it.

sylus chuckles and steps aside. when you exit the bar with a huff, he can’t help but think you look like a cat, a cute little one who scratches when agitated. perhaps kitten will be what he calls you next.

after turning off the lights, you step out of the lounge. only to freeze in your tracks.

corpses.

corpses of the two people involved in your commission. narrowing your eyes, you notice a bullet wound in each of their foreheads. you scan the ground, searching for any traces of the murderer. however, your blood runs cold when something catches your eye. sherman’s gun. you crouch to pick it up. did he kill himself? no, that doesn’t explain why his lackey has the same wound.

“ah,” sylus interrupts your thoughts. “i forgot to escort you out the other way. my apologies, kitten.”

he knows violence doesn’t faze you as it normally would for any other outsider. still, he didn’t want you to see this kind of violence since there’s a substantial difference between witnessing an arm get crushed and witnessing the glassy eyes of lifeless bodies.

though, he supposes he worried for nothing since you’re being eerily quiet with your eyes fixated on the gun.

skillfully, you unload the gun. no bullets left. you exhale deeply. from the looks of it, sylus killed them since he knew the bodies would be here. furthermore, he used sherman’s gun, which initially only had two bullets, given the lack of bullet marks in the alleyway. you just happened to miss the sound of gunfire since you were too occupied. but if that’s the case, that means sherman and his lackey died quite the unfortunate death where the former’s gun was their undoing and no one could’ve heard them, which means… your evol. it did its job. too good of a job.

“at least the commission is complete,” you murmur.

sylus furrows his brow. “you, what did you just say?”

for a moment, all that is heard is the downpour of rain and the distant rumbling of thunder.

you pull out your phone and press a contact. “delilah, open it now.”

“what?”

you sprint down the alleyway, not bothering to acknowledge his confusion.

sylus immediately chases after you, his legs moving like never before. shit, you completely took him by surprise. what was that phone call? no, what did you mean by a completed commission? and why do you know how to unload a gun? clenching his jaw, he prepares to teleport to the end of the alleyway, determined to intercept you. he’ll be damned if he lets you escape.

although he blinks to the end of the alleyway, you make a sharp turn, evading his outstretched arm.

“tch,” sylus clicks his tongue before continuing his pursuit. however, you make another turn around the corner, giving you three seconds out of his sight.

by the time sylus turns around the corner, you’re gone. not a single trace of you left behind. but what infuriates him more is that this is a dead end. not a single way out but the way he got here. he slams a fist in the wall, ignoring the blood that seeps down and the deep cracks in the bricks. using his free hand, sylus pulls out his phone and dials his most recent contact.

“luke. kieran. get me access to the cameras surrounding this lounge,” he spits the lounge’s name. “now.”

♢♢♢♢♢

you breathe rapidly as you fall onto the floor, your throat burning and your ears ringing. you’ve never run so fast in your life.

“welcome back,” a smooth voice says your name. your actual name.

you look up to face your means of transportation, delilah.

“what the— did it rain over there?” an acute voice asks.

stella, your handler enters your vision.

both of them reach out a hand for you to take.

you begrudgingly accept and swiftly walk towards the door, eager to give yourself a fucking break after all that happened today.

“what’s the rush?” delilah asks with a yawn. “don’t tell me you failed the commission—"

"how was your first time in the n109 zone?” stella interjects, warning delilah with her eyes.

you pause before turning the knob.

“never send me there again.”

#DUNDUNDUN #*dodges a tomato*#i'm sorry this took awhile #*dodges another tomato*#despite how long it took me to write this #i had fun with sylus' dialogue #sylus x reader #lads sylus #lnds sylus #sylus x you #love and deepspace fic #love and deepspace #lads fic #lnds fic #lads #lnds #love and deepspace x reader #lads x reader #lnds x reader

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lesbxdyke · 2 days ago

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[ID: Tags that read #ok but how do i stop feeling guilty about not bending over backwards #like actually /END ID]

Prefacing this with:

I am not a psychologist, I am not a therapist, I am just the OP of the post and have been through so many rounds of so many different therapies that I've cobbled together some pretty decent ways to cope with things.

For the guilt, for me, I use a lot of DBT (Dialect Behaviour Therapy - used mostly to treat Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD) skills.

The two most notable are 'Check the Facts' and 'Acting Opposite'

Check the Facts is exactly what it says! You run through the situation, and remove "I think" and "I feel" until you've got a list of only what happened.

To use the example I used in the original post of someone asking me to call them for company on the way home:

[Friend] sent me a message asking me to call them on the way home.

I responded saying no.

I then gave an alternate plan.

They agreed to the alternate plan.

We had a phone call after I had finished my task.

See how it doesn't say what I think of their motivations, or my feelings about what happened?

Then you look at the facts and examine your feelings (in your case, guilt), and ask yourself:

"Is this the expected emotional response to these facts?"

If no, skip to step 3. If yes, step 2 is:

"Is this the expected level of the emotion to these facts?"

If yes, then feel your feelings and speak to your friends as necessary. If no, go to step 3!

Step 3 is where we move onto Acting Opposite!

Your body and mind form a feedback loop that regulate your emotions. If you're attempting to regulate yourself out of an emotional response that you don't want, or is too big for the facts of the situation, then you need to interrupt that feedback loop.

So first, you have to identify how the emotion wants you to act. Anger makes you tense and clench and snarl. Sadness makes you isolate and curl in on yourself and hug your stomach. Guilt also makes you want to make yourself small, makes your stomach flip, makes you bow and scrape and apologise.

So act opposite to that. Force yourself to stand tall. Roll your shoulders back and open your body up. Drink water and breathe to help the nausea. And despite the urge (the nigh irresistible urge, I know), do NOT apologise or make yourself small conversationally.

As you force your behaviour into the opposite, you effect the feedback loop and loop your brain out of the emotion it's trying to lock you into.

Now I'm not going to tell you that these things are easy. They are NOT easy. I did my course of DBT with professionals in 2018 and I still struggle with it some days. But if you practice with more minor things (ow, I stubbed my toe and now I'm angry at the table. Let me check the Facts and Act Opposite to bring that anger down. Oh no, a sad movie has made me cry! Let me check the Facts and Act Opposite to bring myself back to calm!) then when the big ones come, it's easier to call upon those skills!

I think one of the things that has brought me the most peace in my life was the decision to stop responding to anything not clearly stated to me.

Anxiety: Oh no your friend hates you!

Me: Well they didn't say that. So either they need to fortify and tell me themselves, or I will continue to be their friend exactly as I am.

Not just that though. When people hint drop that they want a thing from you, I act as if I have not noticed at all. Either you directly ask me for that thing, or you are not getting that thing from me.

I actually decided to start doing this because I got diagnosed as autistic and I realised how much stress and unhappiness I put on myself trying to figure out everyone's motives and wants and needs all the time. So I decided I'd just... Stop.

And I tell people that. I tell people "I don't notice or respond to hints or passive aggressive behaviour. Either you need to be straight with me or I will continue as I am." And you know the only person that has had a problem with it?

My former abuser (who I am vvvvv low contact with). Because they relied on me feeling obligated to respond to their unspoken moods and wants to keep me in line.

Everyone else has been immediately on board and my relationships have gotten SO much stronger. Because I am asked directly for things, and I will give a direct reason for my response, regardless of what that response is. (e.g. "Hey, can you call me, I want company on the drive home!" "No, sorry, I'm in the middle of [task], but I will be done in twenty minutes so if you still want my company then, I'll be happy to.")

So I put this out as a suggestion for all people, ND and NT.

Stop responding to hints, passive aggression and other 'unspoken' things. Use, model and encourage clear communication with everyone, you'd be surprised how much easier it makes EVERYTHING!

#personal #i hope this helps and i hope it doesn't sound condescending #your tags made me want to help and your question appeared genuine (like an actual question and not a shout to the void)#but my aim is never to condescend

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gh0stly-mp3 · 2 days ago

Note

Hear me out... Lavinho hcs.... Jwudjs just anything lavinho pls I'll take it

Hii! I finally had time to do your suggestion, classes started so I didn't have time for anything. I loveeee Lavinho with all my heart, thank u! I have soo much things in mind

in the brazilian style -> hcs

aka: no jeitinho brazuca de ser

lavinho x gn!reader / lavinho hcs

synopsis: things i imagine lavinho doing as a brazilian in japan + other fun things he'd do in bllk

tags: lavinho hcs, crack/funny, brazilian memes, lavinho having the ultimate brazilian spirit

warnings: words in pt-br (w translation), mature language, don't take anything said personally

a/n: i had so much funny doing this! sending love to all my brazilians out there (i'm from sp, what about ya'll?)

masterlist.

Lavinho would definitely be stared at a lot because he speaks and laughs to loudly, but he seem to don't notice it at all. He'd look at you and go like:

- "Hey, xuxu [cutie]! This city lights are fucking awesome! Those match my hairstyle!"

- "Yeah, they do, but can you be a little quieter, people are staring" - You'd respond

- "Opa [opss], sorry! I forgot that you gringos are too quiet"

He'd get as much souvenirs he could put in his suitcase so he could put all of them in his collection when he got home. He has fridge magnets, keychains, trinkets, etc

He'd complain all the time about the lack of beaches, sun, bars and noise. It pisses him of when he's in Brazil, but he often misses it

Lavinho would also complain about the japanese dress code, where people look at him weirdly for wearing shorts, a t-shirt stuck to the body, chains and rings and a juliet (a type of glasses)

He loves to discover new places in the countries he visits, so he'd beg you to show him the most unusual places in Japan, places where the majority of tourists wouldn't go

He'd go to a bar and start discussing politics with some random people, more specifically, brazilian politics

- "You know, our last election was very fierced, Lula against Bolsonaro. Do you know Bolsonaro?"

- "Uh? Bolsonaro?"

- "Yeah! Say "Foda-se o Bolsonaro [screw/fuck bolsonaro]!"

- "Foda-se Bolsonaro?"

- "YEAH! JUST LIKE THAT!"

Lavinho would talk shit about São Paulo to whoever he could, saying that Rio de Janeiro is way better. And he'd get so angry in the process he'd start speaking in portuguese

- "Lá o céu é cinza, porra! Cinza! Eles não tem praia! Eles são uns fodidos! São Paulo é uma merda! [The sky there is gray! Fucking gray! They don't have beaches! They're arrogant fuckers! São Paulo sucks!]"

Lavinho would occasionally bring up some brazilian thing that no one knows like its the most normal thing ever. Some examples are:

- "Oh, so he's just like Virginia with social midia, got it"

- "This boy Shidou looks like he'd go on Rin just like Datena did to Marçal with that chair. Bam!" - He'd say while immitating Datena

- "Bachira, your friend Isagi looks just like Nazaré Tedesco in that meme"

- "Menó [bro], that goalkeeper looks just like et bilu. That dude is like a folclore creature"

- "You know, I grew up in favela Santa Maria, close to the laje do [slab of] Michael Jackson"

When Barcha starts loosing he yells: "C'mon! Brasileiro não desiste não [brazilians don't give up]!

He constantly mocks the way Ego speaks, doing a poor japanese accent and posing just like him. He'd do the same to Noa, but with a mocking french accent instead

Lavinho would teach each Barcha player how to celebrate their goal in brazilian style, showing them videos of Neymars, Ronaldinhos, Vini Jrs and Gabigol poses

He'd teach his whole team how to sing and dance to his favorite brazilian songs (mostly funk) and would let Bachira wear one of his juliets and take a lot of pics

He wouldn't believe that other countries don't use whatsapp, like, where do you guys even talk? He finds that really weird {i do too}

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milessunflowers · 15 hours ago

Note

wag!franco and footballer!reader!!!!! :D

FOOTBALLER!READER MY BELOVED WITH FRANCO TOO VINVIN YOU SPOIL ME

wag!franco colapinto x footballer!male!reader

synopsis: franco loves his life as a football wag, especially because your uniform looks amazing on you

author's note: I LOVE FOOTBALLER!READER SO MUCH YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND. like footballer!reader has a special place in my heart so if yall wanted to send in more i wouldn't be opposed to it (as long as it isn't american footballer bc i know nothing about american football). also, i just really like that picture of franco and will use it at any given chance. it also did get a bit suggestive because franco is franco and it felt like the vibe

starting off, i really don't think he could ever play football

hes good at racing but not field stuff at all

loves watching you so much though

especially because you get all sweaty and hot and he goes crazy

youve tried teaching the different positions (forwards, midfielders, defense, goal keeper) but he just cannot get the hang of actually playing them

you are multi-talented and could play basically anywhere on the field but for this purpose, you typically play midfield

so you're running wherever you are need at whatever given time

franco's attention is always trained on you

he is so loud when he cheers because he wants to stand out (even though everyone knows you are dating him)

lowkey feel like he would boo when you are benched/if the other team scores

except when it's the national teams for the world cup and stuff

then when you play against argentina (if you aren't from there) he's so rooting against you

still supports you but he loves argentina more

you understand though, because if the roles were reversed, you would cheer for your home country (unless it's argentina then it's self explanatory)

during the normal season you play for barcelona though (guys im sorry if you don't like barça but they're my favorite)

goes to every game he can and when he's working on his degree in engineering or business (idk why but i feel like those suit him?), he's streaming it on his phone/tele

curses a lot in spanish if you miss the goal or the other team scores

absolutely panics if you get hurt

like one time you fucked up your ankle that it ballooned and bruised so much you couldn't move it so you were out for a few games

you were so whiney about missing them but you were so happy to be at home with Franco

franco, at any chance, wears your jersey because he loves showing his support/showing off he's yours and vice versa

he would also look incredible in a barça jersey if i do say so myself

especially if you got him a size smaller and it just shows off his pecs and stuff

and when he wears your jersey you go absolutely insane because you find it so attractive

his legs absolutely are shaking after you guys are done

hes not complaining though because he loves it

you also have huge hickeys you have to cover up with makeup the best you can before the next game

you're so proud of them though and want to show them off

you cuddle with him all the time because you claim it's good luck

it kind of is because it puts you in a good mentality and happy mood so you perform better

next thing you know, you're teammates are ruffling their hair for some "buena suerte" as they all say

boom, you guys win that game

plus franco is just happy to be there

he loves supporting you just like you support his degree

and you go to his graduation and cheer just as loud as he does at your games

TAGS! (if you want to be added, lmk!)

@op-81-lvr-reblogs, @koalapastries, @justaf1girl, @ghostking4m, @spoonfulofmilo, @seonghwaexile, @alex-wotton, @raizelchrysanderoctavius

#oli's 100 event #formula one x reader #formula one x male reader #f1 x reader #f1 x male reader #formula 1 x male reader #formula 1 x reader #franco colapinto x male reader #franco colapinto x reader

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iamnmbr3 · 1 day ago

Note

This isn’t meant as an accusation but after seeing some of your posts I have to ask, are you pro-Israel and if so, why?

Oooh. Definitely a totally in-good-faith ask that isn't at all a (poor) attempt at a gotcha and didn't come in response to me posting about antisemitism. Anon, I don't really know what you mean by being pro-Israel. I've actually been pretty up-front on this blog about my views of issues pertaining to Israel, the situation in Gaza, Palestine, the West Bank, and antisemitism - which are, actually, separate things shockingly, despite what a lot of uneducated people who insert themselves into nuanced discussions seem to believe.

If you check my Israel, Gaza, Palestine, and antisemitism tags I think it's not hard to get an idea of my views. I think antisemitism is bad and should be condemned and that some people try to be antisemitic and then claim they are just being pro-Palestine despite not actually knowing or caring about Palestine at all. I think Netanyahu is a despicable, corrupt wannabe dictator and he and the Israeli Far Right promote terrible, inhumane, and illegal policies that are a danger to the whole region and that will cause more suffering for Palestinian people and for Israelis too and that Netanyahu needs to be removed from power and pay for his crimes (which probably would have happened already if not for the October 7 attack). I think anyone who didn't do everything to get Harris elected despite Trump's obvious embrace of Netanyahu and the Israeli Far Right in contrast to Harris and Biden's very public efforts to work for a ceasefire (which they achieved!) has blood on their hands and is directly responsible for what is happening now under Trump and is an ideological fraud who needs to be held accountable for their actions and the consequences.

I think Hamas is a deplorable and violent terrorist organization and that anyone who actually cares about Gaza would be condemning it since shortly after Israel withdrew from Gaza in 2005 (a withdrawal that remained in effect till AFTER the October 7 attack) Hamas seized power there and has been brutally oppressing, terrorizing, and murdering Palestinian people in Gaza ever since. I think the terrorist attack in Israel on October 7 was appalling and also unjustified and I don't think rape or torture or murdering babies are ever justified or a form of "resistance." I think Jews are indigenous to Israel as demonstrated by historical and archeological records. I do not support genocide which is what the destruction of an entire country would be and thus think Israel has a right to exist and that anyone who says otherwise is a deplorable bigot. I think harassing random Jews in other countries is just antisemitism and is in no way a valid way to criticize Israel's policies.

I support a two state solution as the only viable long-term path for regional peace and stability. I think many people in the West who claim to care about Palestine couldn't actually tell you the difference between Gaza, the West Bank, Palestine, the PLO and Hamas and thus should stop trying to center themselves and should shut up and stop getting in the way of actual activists' work.

I have been very clear about all of this. And yet often when I post about antisemitism I get "well meaning" asks like this wondering if I "support Israel" and why I would do such a thing.

I've been clear about my views on Israel (which is an entirely different issue than antisemitism) so what these asks REALLY seem to be about is trying to shame me for speaking out about antisemitism and for decrying the narrative used by some antisemites that their antisemitism is really just pro-Palestinian activism, when in reality, it is anything but and they don't see Palestinian people as anything other than a convenient shield for them to use when attacking Jews which is despicable and racist. Palestinian people are human beings who deserve rights, freedom and dignity, not to be used as a tool to help bigots avoid accountability.

#asks #Israel #Gaza #Palestine #antisemitism #political #politics

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loves1ckmoth · 19 hours ago

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LITTLE HELPER

Modern Gym Rat!Vi x Reader

Warnings: Fem!reader, I don't work out often and I think it shows, I've also never used any gym equipment except from p.e. classes over the years, It's okay though, vi is very gentle with sleepy reader, she is like a puppy, she complains in the beginning, mentioned that she binds in the beginning, petnames (darling), definitely not my best work I'm so sorry

Word Count♡: 867

Vi has been complaining a lot lately. Mostly about the gym. “My partner didn’t show up today!” or “My spotter was awful” and your personal favorite, “It would’ve gone so much better if you were there.” You loved it. Loved the way she would drape herself over you as your hands diligently massage out the knots caused by her grueling workouts.

You can hear the door slam as she groans with frustration. “Darling? Are you there?” Her voice rings throughout the house, and you drop the laundry you were folding. “In the bedroom!” You shout back, resuming the folding. You’re prepared for her to drop in on you, however.

And so she does. You feel a thud against the bed as she flops down, and then her hands as she crawls over to your lap. You set the binder of hers you were folding aside, and place a hand on her hair. Her hand covers yours and she pulls it down to hold her face.

“Long day, I assume? Was your uhm… your spotter? Were they not there again?” At that, she groans loudly. “He’s never there anymore. We made a pact for the new Year that we’d reach our goals this year, but I’m convinced he’s given up. Do you know how demotivating that is?”

You hum noncommittal, continuing to stroke her hair. “So you have to go alone now I assume?” You suggest. She groans and rolls over onto her stomach. “It’d be so much easier if you went with me.” She says for the nth time. You tilt your head.

“What if I did go with you? I promised you I’d tag along eventually, and I could help spot you.” She immediately jumps up at that, beaming brightly. “Would you!?” You giggle at her enthusiasm and nod. “I’d be happy to. You talk about it so much I want to go myself.”

She jumps up and tackles you onto the bed, smothering you with kisses from her chapstick-covered lips. You push her face away, having dissolved into a fit of laughter. “You’re finally using that chapstick I gave you?” She smiles and puckers her lips at you.

“Minty, isn’t it?” She says as she nuzzles into you. She sighs, collapsing and weighing you down. “‘M tired. Let’s take a nap. In the morning, I’ll take you for my early workout. Sound good?” She speaks gently, tracing a hand over your side like a self-soothing ritual. You hum a response, closing your eyes to nap with her.

In the morning, she gently helps dress you, accounting for your still tired form. You usually wake up when she gets back from her morning workout. You’re out the door in around 10 minutes and she guides you into the passenger seat and shoves an energy drink into your hands.

The drive to the gym is relatively quiet as she has the radio low and hums to the tune of it. The gym is mostly empty by the time you get there. She walks over to a bench press machine and has you stand behind it. “Do you wanna spot me on this one? It’s really easy and I won’t go too high so if I mess up, you can help.”

She shows you the proper form and position before getting on the bench. She does 20 reps, and you watch her curiously. She smiles up at you, pushing the bar with ease. “What now?” you ask after helping pull the bar back into its proper position.

“The rest of the stuff I plan to do doesn’t require a spotter, but you can stay and talk with me if you like. We could do something simple if you wanna have something to occupy yourself. There's a machine that works your thighs over there. It’s a little awkward, but I’ll be there with you.”

You nod, and she takes your hand to lead you over. You like it when she does that. The way she looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars. She treats you like a princess. She’s right when she says the machine is awkward. It requires you to spread your legs open and stretch them as far as you can. Thankfully, however, she stands in front of you so no one else in the gym will see.

She adjusts your posture when needed and adds weight when you can handle it. She makes sure to tire you out for the rest of the time you spend at the gym and you walk out the door achy and exhausted. The drive home is a blur. All you remember is her calloused but gentle hands picking you up and throwing you over her shoulder.

A sharp gasp of air releases from you as you’re slung over, and you flop your head down into her neck. “Thank you, Vi…” You mumble sleepily as she lays you back down on the bed. She smiles, tucking you in. “Of course, darling. Thank you for coming with me, even if all it did was tire you out.”

You groan quietly as you melt into the bed and Vi pulls away to finish the laundry you started last night.

Hello everyone!! My cait fic got a shit ton of attention, so I might start writing her more!! Reminder that my requests are open and suggestions are wanted :3 reblogs and likes are most appreciated ♡

#loves1ckmoth writes ♡#dividers by dollywons #arcane vi #violet arcane #vi arcane #vi x reader #vi x you #vi x y/n #arcane fic #vi arcane s1 #vi arcane season one #arcane season 1 #arcane series #arcane #arcane s1 #arcane season two #arcane season one #arcane season 2

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noperopesaredope · 18 hours ago

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Stupid Jedi & Clone OC Concept

I mentioned this in the tags of a different post, but I thought it deserved its own, much more fleshed out post.

Jedi Master Lonsnek Kathiss

Master Kathiss is a wise and friendly slightly older jedi who appears to be some sort of draconic sea serpent, but about the size of a smaller boa constrictor. He is perfectly capable of speaking common and has even created methods of using his lightsaber, but still faces difficulties due to being, well, a snake.

His first introduction to his men was...interesting, to say the least, with may being a bit surprised and caught off guard by his appearance. A lot of the younger ones didn't even realize he was their general at first (most of the shinies don't), and were extremely mortified when they realized he was their boss.

However, Kathiss was patient about it every single time, aware that while they were all strong and determined fighters and not naive to the horrors of war, the clones were a bit sheltered when it came to the greater world and lacked experience/knowledge in multiple areas (one of my favorite headcanons is that the clones never had sex-ed, so they have no idea how any of that works).

He is extremely insightful when it comes to the clones as a whole, seeing their existence and treatment as extremely tragic. While he isn't extremely old, he does tend to see a lot of the clones as being relatively young, especially when the war first starts (after all, even the oldest clones were only developmentally 20 at the beginning).

Thus he tries to be kind to them while still focusing on his job. While he isn't quite like Plo Koon and doesn't get close to that many of his troopers, he has a slightly similar internal attitude, he just doesn't express it too openly.

Kathiss is generally a pretty playful and lighthearted man, which made some of his troopers even more awkward initially, but they eased up to it, and even began joking back. He also has a more unconventional fighting style and strategy, but they've learned to trust him and his weird plans overtime.

The small issue with Kathiss as a leader is that he can be unintentionally cryptic or forget to explain certain things, like if he explains his plan through a reference or quick metaphor, and then forgets to clarify what the heck he is talking about. His troops have overtime realized that when he says something weird, there is a lot more to it, they just need to remind him to elaborate a bit.

Overall, while things were a bit awkward at first, he eventually gained the respect of his men, especially watching him look out for all of them and leading the frontlines with intense gusto and energy. He is a highly respected general, which can be a little bit funny at times, especially when someone meets him without knowing about him beforehand. I honestly might make another Jedi OC who is just one of those little Ghibli fox-squirrels whose men are incredibly loyal to him. It would be so iconic, especially if he can't speak Basic and they all need to quickly learn his language. I'll write the rest down later.

Commander Pillar

First getting his name after managing to hold up a collapsing roof for an entire minute and thus saving the entire group he was with. Many see his name as being very fitting, with him being stable and determined, ready to lift others up and support them, and not breaking down under pressure. However, not many see the slightly awkward and unsure person underneath. Pillar is a strong leader who is good at getting people's respect, but he internally tends to doubt his plans and strategies, second guessing himself frequently.

He also initially felt weird and uncomfortable around his new general, not sure how to react to Kathiss' less humanoid form. He tried his best to remain professional, but felt slightly awkward about it, especially when other commanders asked what his Jedi was like. He was secretly a little embarrassed, but would scold himself for it since that was his superior officer and he shouldn't think those thoughts. His mind and relationship with Kathiss would change and evolve overtime, but it initially started with some one-sided tension.

Gradual Friendship

There were quite a few points where Kathiss honestly could not do something on his own or was too short to get somewhere, and Pillar would eventually ask him if he needed help. So Pillar had to lift up the general multiple times. There was one moment where Kathiss needed to yell at someone for a minute, but after a minute or two of yelling, he got tired of having to look up at them (plus it’s a bit hard to take him serious when he’s not at eye level), and he frustratedly asked Pillar if he could hold Kathiss at eye level. Pillar hesitated before doing so, in which the general proceeded to continue yelling at the person.

Overtime, they got to a point where, if Kathiss needed to talk to another at eye-level, he could ask Pillar to pick him up, to which the commander would do so. It became common enough for them to eventually develop a quick signal.

During one mission, Pillar, Kathiss, and some men needed to navigate an area that required human feet, and Kathiss couldn't slither for this one. So, they solved the problem by having Pillar carry Kathiss on his shoulders, since that’s the best position for him to be held.

They navigated through this place for about 2 hours, and afterwards, they honestly forgot that they didn't need to do it anymore, so Kathiss was on Pillar’s shoulders for almost the entire mission. They only remembered when they got back on the ship and went into a meeting with another Jedi and Commander, and the other Jedi commented on it.

Pillar and Kathiss both looked at each other and have this brief exchange:

“Do you need to be put down, General?”

“No, this is more convenient, honestly. Are you okay with it?”

“I’m comfortable with it.”

“Okay, then.” (Kathiss looks back to the other Jedi) “We’re fine like this.”

They then continued the rest of their day like that, and most of the others only briefly questioned it before deciding to just ignore it. So whenever they were off the field or not in the heat of battle, Kathiss would usually be sitting on Pillar’s shoulders, which was honestly convenient since it’s at eye level and they would be around each other a lot anyway. Everyone got used to it rather quickly, or at least all of their legion did.

They kind of became friends overtime, with Kathiss offering Pillar bits of wisdom and important life lessons, and Pillar becoming incredibly loyal to his general. Kathiss would assure Pillar and prevent him from spiraling, and Pillar would defend Kathiss against any slights or disparaging remarks regarding his appearance and status as a non-humanoid.

The Inhibitor Chip

Commander Pillar managed to get his chip taken out almost completely by accident. During a mission, Pillar, two soldiers, and a medic were all separated from the group due to an ambush splitting everyone up. The ambush involved a large number of bombs being dropped on them in the middle of an evacuated city, causing walls to fall and dividing the group into different areas.

Pillar had a large piece of shrapnel in his skull that managed not to kill him, but was incredibly dangerous nonetheless, and the medic, Steed, needed to take it out as soon as possible. Steed still had some supplies on him, so he and the two other soldiers found a damaged ship with some space for surgery, then conducted it there.

The shrapnel was lodged right near where Pillar’s chip was, so Steed assumed that it was another piece of shrapnel and didn’t take time to observe it or look at it too closely, simply throwing it away with the rest. Miraculously, Pillar survived the surgery, and they were all quickly rescued. Nobody ever really found out or realized Pillar’s chip had been taken out due it never being reported, as again, they thought it was just a bit of shrapnel, and they didn’t even realize there were any chips in the first place.

Order 66

When Order 66 happened, Pillar at first tried to order the troopers to stand down, but they refused, as the chips had already kicked in for most of them. Due to already holding the general, Pillar was able to run with Kathiss on his shoulders. The two of them made a plan to fake their own deaths while hiding from the others in an abandoned building. Pillar had some leftover bombs, so he stripped away his armor (with Kathiss also placing his robes next to it, then planted the bombs and ran out of the building before they detonated, resulting in that portion of the building collapsing on that spot. The mind-controlled troopers found the “remains” and presumed them dead.

Right before the bombs detonated, Pillar (with Kathiss still on his shoulders) managed to sneakily scale the side of a cliff nearby and climb into the woods. They luckily managed to find a ship which had crashed nearby, but was still somehow usable, and quickly fled the planet.

Post Order 66

The duo decided to go to Kathiss’ home planet, since they were unlikely to be discovered there. It was a mostly swamp-like planet and on the outer edges of the galaxy. They were taken in by some old friends Kathiss had made when he visited once, and after eventually learning about what happened to the other Jedi, Kathiss felt forced to leave behind his old life. They both did. So they decided to follow the dreams they had if they weren’t in the Order or the GAR.

Kathiss found a mate, and the pair had kids, while Pillar settled down nearby, becoming a woodworker since the village needed one, and he found woodcarving to be fun. Plus, creating things like homes and tools and furniture and whatnot felt nice to him. Kathiss and his mate soon had a clutch of 5 eggs, two years after Order 66 first occurred. Pillar was basically declared the godfather and vowed to help raise them, since it takes a village to raise a clutch of eggs.

Pillar was nervous about the idea of being involved since he didn’t know what the babies would be like, but he quickly grew to adore them. All of them were extremely happy and at peace. Sadly, half a year after the babies were born, the Empire came knocking. They had found Kathiss, and they killed him while fatally injuring his mate. Pillar had been babysitting the babies, and Kathiss’ mate managed to escape to his house nearby, told him what happened and that he needed to run away with the babies, then died. Pillar listened to her, scooped all the baby serpents up, and escaped using the old ship he and Kathiss came to the planet with.

Pillar, a bit paranoid, decided they needed to flee from planet to planet, and he raised the babies as his own, doing odd jobs and getting them a bigger ship to live in together.

~~~~~~

Might make a follow-up post talking about the snake kids and their clone dad, since I think it would be fun to explore. Definitely want to make some art of Pillar and Kathiss, though.

Hope you like these two and this storyline concept!

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bunnyboy-juice · 8 months ago

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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

#personal #i am emotional yes #over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme #nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post #and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity #especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making #if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care #i just needed to scream #and this is one small thing #but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks #saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that #my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten #i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked #-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also #and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb #a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u #idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit #im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved #im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does #wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun

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royalarchivist · 1 year ago

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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

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welcometogrouchland · 1 month ago

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I'm going to be so real I do not understand tim & steph shippers who feel that Steph dating Tim again would save her character. You can make an argument that giving Tim a more compelling love interest would be beneficial for him! And you can at least make an argument that the fujo mischaracterization of Steph would stop. However she'd still, inevitably, be treated as a prop character/extension for someone more popular 😭 it also wouldn't make her appear in more books! Tim doesn't have many frequent appearances at the moment either! You can just say you like the couple and want them back together without acting like you have some kind of moral stance

#ramblings of a lunatic #dc comics #dc #NOT character tagging. for reasons j feel are obvious #honestly i shouldn't even be posting this here I'm responding more to twitter sentiments but they'd cook me on there if i posted this #anyway sometimes i think ppl (again the twt ppl specifically. tumblr timsteph fans mostly normal) are doing that thing-#-where you get so deep into a hyper online discourse cycle that you end up reproducing mainstream sentiments from scratch #''let men date women!'' this is what some of you sound like when talking about timsteph to me /j #there's a lot to critique about how Tim's been written since canonizing his bisexuality!#personally I've noticed (and seen other ppl notice to) that some writers seem unaware that tim is bi #not in the sense of making him straight but in the sense that they seem to think he's gay bc none of his relationships w women-#-are acknowledged as having been. relationships #or if they are there's an idea that tim was using them to 'hide from his true self' or something #genuinely problematic sentiment!#i also don't really find the ''he should cheat on bernard!'' jokes funny #like lets bffr Tim's cheating was NEVER acknowledged as cheating he was seen as a good all-american boy #so like. bringing that trait back and acknowledging it as cheating ONLY after he comes out as bi? i get it- ironic homophobia but-#-i really don't like it!#anyway. close your eyes and focus on the daminika like the rest of us /j #or the stephcass jason dancing image which will live in my head and heart forever despite arguably being ooc as well <3 #bc it's funny <3 and at least I'm self aware <3 #also much MUCH more importantly DC POWER SPECIAL EXTREMELY GOOD GO READ IT FOR DUKE #and jace but i haven't read future state yet bc i tried and got. extremely bored 😞 sorry jace you seem really cool #but he's great in the story dynamjc duo with duke. loved it love them want more #special was sold out at my comic shop tho so i couldn't grab a copy. might hit the other shop in town today to see #BOOST THE NUMBERS WE NEED A POWER COMPANY ONGOING GANG #anyway yeah. tim & steph thoughts. you can just say you like them you don't have to do all that

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dxxtruction · 7 months ago

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Louis' "You're boring!" Could mean so many things, but I think what's most apparent about that line is that Armand takes no initiative just for himself. He's not really anybody, because he never goes out and finds himself or gets attached to anyone but Louis. Without Louis as his guide he's literally just sitting on a couch picking lint! That's the thing.

He orbits constantly around what would make Louis happy, and never really fully going what would make me happy? Ultimately that drive to please Louis is what drives him to torturing Daniel, not so much that he'd care to just do it. Ultimately, not giving proper care to Louis is just a way to make sure Louis knows he has to orbit around him as well, with shoving Lestat onto him just that other nail on the coffin. So, even if he fails to figure out how to make Louis happy with him, he still knows what Armand is good for, and better than.

That dependency is what drives Armand's abuse. It really just comes down to that. Armand doesn't even realize how suffocated he is by his own dependency. This is just how life is to him. (It shouldn't be lost either that dependency is a theme considering this episode also deals with addiction).

Daniel's fascinating because he's just so driven to be somebody. He's largely independent, he seeks things because he wants them. It's his drug to poke and prod at all the things that he shouldn't. Daniel's exciting because he lets Louis in to something different, lets him in to all this potential in another person that he can also do the same with for himself. It's a real connection. A two way street. It's easy to tell how Armand can be smothering then because he's never introducing him to anything really new, and most the ways both of them connect are all painful and traumatic. It's never just fun because there's always that layer of that pain. Fun died with Claudia.

50 years on they've gotten to a lot better place, both of them, but it's still that same shit. No seriously, "How is this any different from last time, Louis?"

Well... Because Armand's going to be, at the very least, making one [1] decision only for himself - and that's to hold power over Daniel's life. Fucking sick foreshadowing.

They aren't driving each other to the brink anymore but "The vampire is bored" STILL. Maybe it's even worse, despite being in better places, because Louis' sort of just been defeated by it. (I mean, can he even really leave this either?). He's accepting the dependancy cause he kind of has to. He'd literally ended up letting all the enjoyment be up where he can't reach [The book shelves]. Armand so desperately wants Louis happiness but what really ends up happening is that Louis ends up having to give Armand all his own. He's got no one or anything else to get it from. But like an iPad and an over the top eating ritual. Two extremes of what's just more lint picking.

This whole relationship is one I find just tragic inside and out. You have to just pity it, really. There's ways in which you can find yourself feeling bad for both of them. But you can only really be mad at Armand for any of it. Armand, who isn't even 'free' in any sense, having so little concept of his own independence, but is at the same time so controlling over other's. It's a tragic cycle. It's an infuriating one.

Louis at least has the mind to know when enough is enough. If just needing that extra push to get there. Armand's too scared of it being over to even try.

#iwtv #iwtv character analysis #interview with the vampire #louis de pointe du lac #armand #loumand #amc iwtv #iwtv s2 #iwtv season 2 #don't be afraid just start the tape #Gotta feel bad for Louis for winding up falling in love again with someone ruled so much by their own undealt with shit #making him once again the victim of abuse for it #But at least I guess Lestat values his independence? And Louis to an extent.#Theres a lot less co-dependancy going on between them but it's still like ... there #I'm so serious tho when I say I really want IWTV to go in the direction of 'vampires all dealing with their shit and breaking generational #cycles of abuse' because THATS so IT too me. That's the juice tbh.#because a thing with immortality is that you can't partition away from dealing with shit through knowing you or someone is going to die #You have to confront it you're forced to or else its just FOREVER literally going to be there #Louis (or really Claudia) being the first to really confront that (chef kiss)#which is an interesting thing to depict because technically we all carry the burden of eternity w/in us. Our impact on the world lasts and #what violence we allow in the world without fighting or working against it will never change either.#We have to confront the truth and find reconciliation with all of it or it is just without end there is no bottom to it #theres a lot of discussion on it but I think Louis considers himself a survivor. He's lived to this point and will keep living.#He probably cares too much about the why he ends up a victim (the undealt with shit he can't blame them for) to admit otherwise that he is #Too an extent too he cares and loves the people he's been with to really view it that way. But also this survivor perspective is very #'immortality' accepting. Naming a victim sort of is like naming a kind of death that can't go on from there.#Might make these tags into their own post at some point

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