#this literally might be the only time i even use the bridgerton tag

[ispridestillasin]

So I decided to watch a bit of Bridgerton with my mother, which I'm not really interested in (I don't really like period pieces unless it's a fanfic for a ship I like) but it's a show she enjoys so I sometimes catch her watching it and join her, and literally the only takeaway from the stuff I've seen with her is that Colin, Lord Debling, and Penelope should have all been poly

[bellascarousel]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Tagged by faves @harnitbee and @stars-of-kyber ❤️❤️❤️

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

54 all total

2- What's your total AO3 word count?

611,647 Wow!

3- What fandoms do you write for?

Bridgerton currently. I used to write for The Originals, but Kate and Anthony have taken over my entire brain.

4- What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1.) Let's Run Away Together - 1442

2.) Ruined - 1061

3.) Closure - 448

4.) Don't Leave - 396

5.) Kathony Advent Calendar 2022 - 379

5- Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I generally do. I love when people have nice things to say about my writing, and I want to acknowledge them and thank them. Yes, my responses can feel repetitive to me - it feels so weird and insincere to write "thank you for reading and commenting" at the end of every reply, but I want to thank them, even if I am bad at it. LOL That said, sometimes comments get lost in the shuffle. So, if I don't reply to your comment, it's not that I don't appreciate it. It's most likely because I originally read it in my email when I wasn't in a position to be able to go to reply to it and then my ADD brain promptly forgot either that it exists at all, or that I didn't reply to it.

6- What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

While I do write angst, everything I write has a happy ending. That said, the planned ending to In This Life Or The Next would probably have been the angstiest if I hadn't switched fandoms before I could finish it. While everyone DOES end up together and happy - they do so in the afterlife. It was literally going to end on a "rocks fall, everyone dies" scenario that would include things like a guy being forced to kill his little sister, and one guy that they weren't even sure COULD die and were kind of worried would spend Eternity completely alone in a fucking void where the planet used to be.

7- What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Like I said, everything I write has a happy ending. But, I think my happiest ending might actually be Measuring Time. It ends with little Mary's wedding and then an epilogue-like paragraph about Anthony watching his grandchildren grow up and start giving him great-grandchildren. I really liked getting to see even a small glimpse of the long, happy life him and Kate enjoy together - and how hopelessly in love they still are even at the end.

8- Do you get hate on fics?

I had one reader go on diatribes and get into arguments with other readers about my characterization of Edwina in the first two chapters of Let's Run Away Together. Which was hilarious, because she wasn't even IN the first two chapters. Dude was complaining about things Kate and Anthony said. It was a whole big thing. The comments are still there, so go read them if you want. The whole thing is actually kind of funny, really.

9- Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Umm... not sure what you mean by "what kind"? I've done pretty much everything from pretty explicit to fade to black. It always depends on the situation and how much the sex serves the plot and/or characterizations.

10- Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I started one crossover. Between The Originals and The Black Jewels Trilogy. I only wrote one chapter, but had a whole lot planned out. Writing The Sadiablos interacting with the Mikaelsons was oddly fun.

11- Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

12- Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I am aware of 🙂.

13- Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. Not really something I'm interested in, either. My hat's off to anyone that CAN work with a cowriter. I can barely get my brain to cooperate with ITSELF, much less someone else.

14- What's your all-time favourite ship?

Kathony, obviously. Though, also obviously, Haylijah are a close second.

15- What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I still have plans to finish all of my Kathony fics. My The Originals fics, though... I would LOVE to finish those but I just don't see it happening. (Love Heals and High School Confidential are the top of my list of fics I wish I could get myself to concentrate on, but doubt I ever will.)

16- What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and characterization

17- What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. Everything from the characters, to the settings, to actions. I am just bad at descriptions. And consistency. I want to try to get into a writing habit, but my ADD brain hates me.

18- Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I would do it if I trusted myself to do it right. But, unfortunately, I do NOT trust myself to write in Kate's native language. Maybe I'll have Hyacinth spout something off in Italian at some point, LOL. (I DO write occasional dialogue in Italian in my novel, because of Catie being a native Italian, and Eli also speaking the language.)

19- First fandom you wrote for?

Actually physically wrote down? The Originals.

Created in my head, never saw paper, but could probably be recreated if I ever felt the urge to? The Incarnation Of Immortality

20- Favorite fic you've written?

This is like asking me to choose my favorite child. I can't do it.

I suck at tagging games. So, just tagging anyone who hasn't done it and wants to.

[ameliasbitvh]

ahhhh! thank you all soso much for the 300 followers! i just hit 200 last week?! how are there 300 of you? i honestly don’t know, but i started this account as a place to just read smut and then i decided to post on here. the reason why my first post was angst was because i was being a slut for angst to feel something in those few moments- okay i’ll stop myself right there. for this milestone i’m going to do mutual appreciation for the moots i’ve interacted with the most so far! (if we’re moots and u wanna interact pls do, i’m not scary!)

okayy first up,

@underappreciated-spoon-321

i love you so much bby, i could not believe it when you followed me. i was legit crying happy tears and i specifically remember you followed me after i posted “needy” random lol.

your writing is immaculate, absolutely lovely. ur smut *chefs kisses* i love that you put up with my shit photos that i send you and that you actually ask for more- but it baffled me when you first interacted with me, this was my reaction

*deep breath* “omfg! (ur username) just interacted with me, wtf do i do?!” also ur nick name reminds me of belly from dear, draco.

i’m not writing a lot, bc for your sleepover i wrote you a damn paragraph 😭 but i love u sm belly!! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

@dracoskinks

ARI! i love talking to you, bc i can talk about anything and when i say anything i mean anything. like kinks, porn, random draco scenarios, etc… you are one of the funniest people i have seen on this app.

ur blunt and funny at the same time, it just makes it more fun to talk to you. ur smut is soso good, bc i don’t find a lot of smut with a dom!reader and sub!draco.

i remember you followed me, so out of curiosity i checked out your blog and saw your piss kink fic and that did it for me. after that i followed you back and we became moots ajnwja. when ur first account got terminated you scared me so fucking much, because i thought you were going to leave tumblr forever. don’t. ever. play. like. that. again. i’m glad we became moots bc i fucking love you <3

@opalsheart

I LOVE YOU SM! i think u were the first moot that i interacted with in direct messages, bc you had tea to spill, and ever since than we’ve been #4lifers. you send me edits and hate on t*m felton with me on instagram. you were the first mutual to know what i looked like lmaoo. u r an absolute goddess, bestie, like what- i know that you can pull anyone you want, so stop playing when you talk about someone.

even though we have a fucking 12 hour time difference, we still find time to talk to each other. it is so fun talking with you and the fact that when we talk it’s night for one of us. you let me send that stupid tik tok of ed sheeran and t*m felton to you and it probably haunts your dreams now ajnwajsj-

i appreciate that you study ur MF ass off for your exams, bc i could never. and you even send me those cute memes when i wake up- also we better be watching those true crime documentaries, bc i’m still waiting. idc if we have a time difference :) anyways ILY SM ELLIE !! <3

@laceycallisto

okay- where do i even get started with this. we first interacted when i reblogged that draco fan fic and we reblogged talking about how desperate we were trying to find that iconic fic. and i forgot that the creator could see all the reblogging we were doing- you texted me directly about adding my name into your tags, which obviously i agreed to. then we just started talking about random shit like how we were superior because we were june geminis. or how we talked about being in love with remus lupin.

i have vivid flash backs of how your remus fic hurt me. i cried my false lashes off proof reading janajaj- bestie- you’ve seen me cry ajnwja- your writing is ethereal, i don’t know how you can see that? your so nice too, like girly u gave me ur netflix within like a day of knowing each other 💀 we watched bridgerton in two mother fucking sittings. we ate that bridgerton hoe up!

all ur input on the scenes were so funny like the “with child” and “dicking” comments 😭 i love how it’s so easy to talk to you about everything, like how dumb i am- even talking about the privilege of being poc and not burning in the sun. bruh u even let me tag u in dumb tik tok videos, like what?! and i think your the only mutual i have that’s in the same time zone as me… also we better binge the next season. but ily sm, ur like my older sister, even if u say ur life is shitty 😭 <3

@dracomalfoys-wh0re

honestly, kacia. i owe a lot to you for my account being “found” or whatever, bc you reblogged a fic of mine, i’m pretty sure it was “common room” and that’s when i started getting notes and followers najajwjwj- you might not know that but i do 💀 i will forever remember that.

you literally were one of the first accounts ever- to follow me. and i won’t lie, i went crazy when u followed me because i love your fics so much! you are so funny and blunt too i swear 😭

and can we talk about your tom riddle fic? like?!the fact that you really showed tom’s true personality and character. every world had me enthralled further into the fic, the way you wrote him is exactly how i think tom riddle would act towards his s/o. his toxicity and gaslighting is too accurate.

moving on from the discussion of your fic, which is amazing, ily sm babe!!

@yoooespinosa

we’ve interacted a few times and when u texted me directly saying that you thought i was sweet, i literally went, “omg- people think i’m sweet” in a good way, not bad jkwajjw- can i just get started on your writing, because oh. my. fucking. god. it is the most captivating and heart breaking thing i’ve ever seen- the emotions that you put into every word completes the entire fic. every angst piece that you have written, made me cry or made something inside me just twist with sadness. it is truly lovely and magnificent.

how do ur fics not get thousands of notes? because everyone should see what you write, it’s unfair that others haven’t seen your fics. when u explained your dream to me, i swear you practically wrote a whole fic 😭

i remember u said that you wanted to do a face reveal, but we’re scared. bestie what are you scared of? you look like an ANGEL!! and if anyone were to disagree, they are obviously blind. but ily bestie <3

@o-rion-sta-r

BESTIE BAE ORION i love you so much!interacting with you is honestly so fun. and i remember like literally yesterday we were trying to figure out ari’s time zone and we were freaking out. you, ari, and me all have a fucking time difference 😭 it sucks so much!

at least every day you ask me how my days been and i think that’s so sweet, because before i got on tumblr people didn’t ask that question. i appreciate that you ask me that and just random questions in general, because i love interacting with you so much. and you should start writing bby! i will reblog anything you write, also ily sm <3

@ilygw

we don’t talk a lot, but you seem like a fun person! i love seeing all the edits you post on here, bc honestly i need more ferret boy content. i know there is a lot, but i feel like i’ve seen all of them. until i see you posting a new edit and i’m like, “okay… i guess i haven’t seen every draco edit” but that’s all i have lol, ly!!

@arcaneslut

to be honest, you seemed so intimidating to me. i know you said you’re not, but to me you seemed really scary even though i knew you weren’t 😭 i just interacted with you recently and you are so sweet i swear! i love all ur fics, especially “and then i felt nothing” because when i read this fic you better believe i was crying so hard- to the point where i couldn’t breath- everything was written so beautifully, i couldn’t believe it.

i love how one thing we share in common is losing our phones 💀 but i just wanted to say thank you for explaining the whole sleepover and celebration things to me! even tho we just started interacting i already love u!!

moots bc i’m in love with all of them: @just-a-smol-spoon @dreamy-clousds @dracoskinks @unedibledaisyduck @thatsassyhufflepuff @a-aexotic @l0vely-lupin @gothboutique @wolfstar4lifee @littlemissnoname13 @deatthfairy @arcaneslut @ladyvesuvia @laceycallisto @dracossweetprincess @the-lonely-poet-loves-to-weep @realityblocked @harmqnia @yoooespinosa @opalsheart @lilscloud @cupids-crystals @mellifluousart @lunas-kisses @malfoysmainb @klauscarolove @crystxlss @beforeoursunsets @marrymetheonott @queeriacs @electriclocean @dlmmdl @o-rion-sta-r @sfdlm @ilygw @desiredmalfoy @underappreciated-spoon-321 @draco-and-tom @hellounicorn @mugglesthesedays @dracomalfoys-wh0re

if i didn’t tag u it’s bc i can’t tag more than 50 blogs :(

[awanderingtortoise]

introduction and masterlist

hi everyone, stil not totally sure how this site works, but please feel free to chat and say hi. below the cut is a list of fics, along with links to their post on tumblr/ao3. for drabbles, snippets, or shorter fics you might want to check my writing tag: #tortoise tries to write or #tortoisememery if youre here for the incorrect quotes/playlists/memes/any of my other attempts at humor. for analysis: #tortoise analysis ; the tags are kinda fucked w the search idk why i think the search works on my blog itself tho

stuff i post: grishaverse (zoyalai-centric), marvel, bridgerton, pjo/hoo, lotr

(all my original posts are tagged with #me; i believe you can use that to sort through them. or not i dont know how these updates work)

I only write zoyalai atm but requests are always very very very (i cant say it enough) welcome, though i may take ages to do so i will definitely do my best to write them out. (anything sfw is fine). i think thats all, will update this periodically. enjoy your existences

1. how we go on (ao3, 1.7k) warning for mc death, angst

summary: It wasn't supposed to be her. It was never supposed to be her. That is all Nikolai can think, the only thing he finds coherent and whole in his mind as Zoya lies in his arms, eyes bright and radiant and blood blooming on her chest.

or: nikolai and zoya both realizing they dont have much time left. takes place some years after rule of wolves

2. even so, my sun did shine (ao3, 1.2k)

no warnings, fluff

summary: A sort of reverse of That Scene between Zoya and Nikolai in the aftermath of the Tavgharad’s-- lets call it a fiery demise-- but less angsty ‘don’t gos’ and more nonsensical fluff.

in which zoya is slightly loopy and quite a bit more clingy in the aftermath of taking a sleeping draught, and nikolai finds himself rather concerned at her lack of spite. hes not exactly complaining, though.

3. laughter in the rain (ao3, tumblr, 2.1k)

no warnings; basically half-crack, half-fluff

summary: in which Nikolai is much too found of puns while Zoya is the polar opposite, and a young, incredibly chaotic Squaller child wreaks absolute havoc on literally everything. (from tumblr ask: how about nikolai interacting with zoya’s students and them finding nikolai’s dad jokes funnier than zoya does (though she does secretly enjoy them))

4. all i ask (ao3, excerpt here)

no warnings, pining/angst

summary: Starlight glints in her gaze, in the jewels that swirl in the waves of her gown. “What do you want, Nikolai?” she asks quietly.

“A dance,” he says, and though it has barely been seconds he feels as though he’s aged a decade. He forces an easy smile onto his face, holding out his hand. “Nothing but a dance.”

or: a king and his general, and the words they leave unsaid. basically angsty zoyalai ballroom dancing while they play their favorite game that we all know as ‘lets constantly ignore our feelings for eachother!’

5. a heart's a heavy burden ao3, multichapter, 5 chaps and 8.8k so far)

no warnings, post-KoS, pre-RoW pining and angst to come but happy ending

summary: There would always be part of her that wanted more; for better or worse, a part of her that believed she wouldn’t know true satisfaction until she had it, even as she swore off the possibility with every fiber of will in her. She wouldn’t become what he had. She couldn’t. And yet fear of it now roils deep in her gut, old and dark as the scales glinting on her wrists.

(Zoya struggles to control the newfound power she has in her amplifiers and fears that her strength could turn her into something worse. luckily, nikolai is here :)

from anon request: after trying so hard to make sure that she’s unable to feel nikolai’s emotions with her newfound powers something happens that breaks zoya’s concentration and she’s finally feels the weight of nikolai��s feelings for her.

6. as the morining comes (ao3, tumblr, 997 words)

no warnings

summary: "Nikolai, at this moment, has decided on two things: the first being that he is a hopelessly lost cause for Zoya Nazyalensky, and the second being that he does not think he will ever stop smiling again."  part one of a bunch of fluffy zoyalai oneshots ill post under the series waltz of four left feet

7. afterimage (ao3, 362 words)

summary: basically hurt/comfort post-breakup zoyalai in a modern au

8. its always brighter with you (ao3, 748 words)

summary: an excuse for me to write zoyalai banter. basically Nikolai and Zoya going through all the shit Genya sent them and doing the KoS equivalent of Say Yes to the Dress with Nikolai

9. stills of a life tied in blue (that is to say, tied to you) (ao3, 466 words)

warning: grief/mcd

summary: a little fic and musing on the ever iconic blue ribbon and the roles it will play throughout nikolai and zoyas life, from beginning to end.

[invisibleinorange]

Swelter Weather  | 7/?

Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings: None at this point. Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Marina Thompson/Phillip Crane, Eloise Bridgerton/Phillip Crane, Kate Sheffield/Anthony Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Phillip Crane, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin

Summary: Colin Bridgerton is weary from travel and decides to spend the summer at the Aubrey Hall. While his initial plans were to avoid his perfect family, he ends up sharing the house with Eloise and Penelope. This is a Modern AU!

If it weren’t for the fact it would have disturbed the warm, soft body curled into to him, Colin wouldn’t have hesitated to get up and shut the curtains to stop the sun from filling his room.  He had zero interest in leaving his room or her though.

It was the strangest thing.  He’d never really craved someone’s company as much as hers. There had been people who had inspired less than gentlemanly thoughts in him.  There were many times he’d considered giving into those desires but not once had he wanted more than those things with those other women.

He wanted everything with Penelope and that was why he’d forced himself to take a step back, to make sure that he was doing things the right way with her.  He couldn’t possibly be happier than he was to hold her tight or listen to the little sounds she made in her sleep.

He’d always thought she was beautiful but seeing her at peace, lost in dreams only made him think her more beautiful. He dare say she was the most beautiful person in the world and she was his.  The novelty of the thought of it hadn’t worn off nor did he think that it ever would.

He was admittedly a little nervous about how Eloise might react to the news that they were together but he knew things would be okay. Eloise would come around. She always did.

He pushed all thoughts of his sister from his mind as he buried his face into Penelope’s messy red curls, closing his eyes as if to push away the morning and extend this bliss a little longer.

He smiled when he saw her eyes flicker open and her own tired smile form across her face.  Penelope wasn’t shy about snuggling into him all the more.  It was funny how intimate they could be despite the fact he hadn’t let them complete intimacy.

“Do you think Eloise would buy me still feeling ill and us needing to stay in here all day?” she murmured quietly.

“Not a chance,” he told her with a laugh.  Eloise definitely wouldn’t just leave them be unless she was explicitly told to.

Neither of them were any particular hurry to get up.  Colin knew his stomach would eventually betray him and demand breakfast would strike but for now, he just wanted to savor the moment.

In fact, he was pretty sure he could smell bacon permeating from the kitchen. Normally that would have sent him wandering down to try and get first dibs but times were changing.  His desire to keep cuddling Penelope trumped any food craving.

“I can’t believe she’s already up,” Penelope murmured, apparently smelling the bacon too. She sighed at the thought they were probably going to have to get up and show their face downstairs. “She’s not even a morning person.”

“I could always go down and make a big plate,” Colin said after a moment.  “Breakfast in bed?... All day in bed with me.”

“I’d be crazy to say no to that,”  she murmured leaning to steal a kiss before he could get up, which honestly made him not want to get up. He pushed himself up and out from under the comforter with a sigh.

Eloise was going to have to deal with him coming down in pajama bottoms and no shirt.  This was as dressed as he was going to get.

“You just stay right there,” he said with a grin. “I’ll deal with Eloise.”

--

Colin fully intended to grab a plate of food and tell Eloise to find something else to do today.  He had the whole thing prepared in his head, carefully crafted to deal and then escape back to his blissful little bubble.

His mind went blank when he made it down the kitchen and didn’t just fine his sister.  His eyes widened slightly at the sight of Phillip helping her make breakfast.

He watched for a long moment, trying to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating things. Phillip was a little bit too comfortable for his liking and the protective older brother in him debated whether he ought to punch his friend or start asking questions.

He cleared his throat loudly, an act he hoped to split up whatever was happening.  Eloise didn’t even have the modesty to look embarrassed by this whole thing though.

“How’s Pen?” she asked a little too casually. “Still feeling under the weather?”

The mention of Penelope did bring his mission back to mind. He was supposed to be grabbing plates and heading back up stairs.  His mind was flailing trying to figure out what exactly he was supposed to be doing at this point.

“- I was coming to get her a plate,”  Colin said, eyeing Eloise and Phillip suspiciously.  “Clearly it was too late last night and you offered Phillip one of the other guest rooms.”

“Not exactly,”  Eloise said sheepishly.

Colin knew that look. He’d seen it on their older brothers plenty of times after they’d brought random girls back in the past.  He clenched his fist. He was going to murder Phillip Crane.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked despite the fact he had zero business doing it.

“Well, you could say that he was ill and I took care of him,” Eloise said crossing her arms. She definitely knew that Penelope hadn’t been ill and she definitely knew Penelope was in his bed at the moment.

“I didn’t -  we literally slept,” Colin said defensive over his own actions.

“I really should get going,” Phillip said clearly not wanting to get in the middle of family drama.  “It seems like you two have things to talk about.”

Both Bridgerton heads turned and said ‘no’ in unison. This really did have to stop becoming a thing.  They didn’t wait to see that he was staying though as they were busy squaring off.

“You invited him to distract me so you could fuck my best friend,” Eloise said in an accusatory voice.

“I’m still here,” Phillip felt a need to interject.

“Oh dear,” a fourth voice said from the doorway. Penelope had apparently heard the voices and decided to come mediate. She raised an eyebrow at the presence of Phillip.  That was a turn.

She moved closer to Phillip and shook her head, giving a consolatory smile.  “There is really no getting in the middle of these things. You just have to let them fight it out. You’ll learn.”

“I didn’t fuck her,” Colin argued. “We are together though, no thanks to you and your constant need to get in the middle.”

“You’re a liar and a hypocrite,” Eloise said right back.

“I’m neither. But you have no business sleeping with people that you don’t even know, especially not when you’re –“

“I wasn’t,”  Eloise said shaking her head. “I’m not a child.  I have just as much right as you do to invite whoever I want here. I like Phillip.”

“He’s literally years older than you and he has kids,” Colin argued.

Phillip wasn’t sure whether he should be offended or not but Penelope gave him a sympathetic glance,  reached to grab a filled plate handing him one so they could at least eat breakfast while watching and making sure blood wasn’t drawn in this fight.

“You’re a few years older than Penelope,” Eloise argued.

“That’s different.”

“How is it different?”

“Because I love her,” he said talking with his hands. “I’ve literally been in denial for years and you’re really going to falsely equate hooking up with some guy you’ve known all of two seconds to me wanting to be with Penelope.”

“You what?” Penelope interjected, nearly choking on her bacon. Phillip had to give her a pat on the back to stop the coughing.

“I thought you said we weren’t to interject,” Phillip murmured.

“Well when people say they love you get to interject,” Penelope murmured.

Eloise shook her head, narrowed her eyes.  “I don’t need to travel the world to figure out what I want,” she said pointedly.  “Don’t try to get in the middle of it with this big brother nonsense and I’ll get out of your way.”

“Really?” Colin asked after a long moment, slightly unsure whether he’d won this argument or not, especially since Eloise was going to let him be with Penelope without trying to stop it, if he got out of her way.

“I mean, she’s still my best friend and I will hurt you if you hurt her but she’s also an adult and clearly she is a willing victim.”

“I wouldn’t really go with victim,” Colin said after a moment, remembering there was food now that things were at least semi-decided. His gaze finally moved over to where Penelope and Phillip had been standing, eating and watching.  He offered a small smile. “Girlfriend is the term we’re going with these days. Speaking of which, we’re going back upstairs.”

Eloise made a face at that.

“At least me and Phillip will be able to keep our breakfast down,” she said to their retreating backs as they disappeared just as easily as they’d interrupted her morning.

[sofwrites]

Well then, now I stan two traitorous bitches. Gregory has the honour of sharing that position with you

HAHA some years ago my mom had me saved in her phone as (Name) daughter. The funniest thing is that I'm the only woman she knows that's named like this, you know, as she and my dad chose for me after lots of consideration. She's met others with the name, but just in passing, not enough to be on her phone. And REGARDLESS, I'm her daughter. I would expect it'd be other people who need specifying, not me

As a long standing swiftie, I'm highly trained for finding parallels. And I love yours. It's like he couldn't contain his frustration about it anymore. So good

I, like Leah, have been scarred. All my family members above the age of 40 use that emoji constantly on the group chat and now I can't help but make the association. Thanks for that 😂

You Are In Love is such a sweet song. I'm so glad you decided to use it for them. Excellent personal choices for your top five. As for me, bestie, I can't even pick a favourite album, let alone a song. Red (let's than a month to go, let me read you make some noise!!!), folklore and evermore are tied on the number one spot for me. I will say, though, that seven is the one I like best from folklore so I love the reference to it on the tags. Very much appreciated and completely reciprocated 💕. I'm giddy at your offer, even if I don't think it'll be possible for you to write, since I didn't actually gave you an answer

Once again, thank you so much for your fics and for indulging me here. I don't know if this'll come as a shock, but I don't follow you here (in case you were suspecting someone). I looked up Polin fics after reading the books some months ago and stumbled onto your stories while I was at it. The mention of Taylor propelled me to reach out to you here, so yes, we can thank her for that. I don't really participate in the bridgerton fandom beyond this asks, mainly because eventhough I found the series entertaining enough to be willing to watch the second season and read the books to know in advance what could happen, I don't feel like a really connected with the stories that much. Kathony and Polin were the ones that piqued my interest the most, so here I am. Because I send the first ask on anon and didn't expect it to be a thing, now I'd feel like I'm breaking the fourth wall if I reveal myself, even if it actually wouldn't be a big deal. Maybe I'm just being weird about it. You're so nice though, that I feel like it might happen sooner or later. One thing is certain, if I ever follow you, you'll definitely know its me. On the meantime, I'm sending you lots of love and well wishes. I hope you do great on the exam you were studying for 💕💕💕

omg hold up one min cause I was thinking in the car this morning and realized that I never explicitly said that the email in digital age was 100000% inspired by closure. Closure and Mr. Perfectly Fine are my headcanon post-incident Polin songs and dsafjskn just wanted to let you know

- I'm honored to be a traitorous bitch 🥺

- I honestly had no idea how universal of a mom thing that was but I'm so happy that it was relatable to you. Mom's labeling us as their children in their phones for literally no reason is the funniest thing I have ever head

- !!! I've literally scarred like 10 people at this point with the 🤗 joke at this point and I'm just... I'm so glad

- RED ERA COMING SOON!!! I'm so excited for Red tbh especially since I wasn't a stan until afterwards so it'll be like learning to truly love the album for the first time?? And I'm especially so excited to hear 31 year-old taylor singing The Lucky One cause damn. It's gonna hit so much harder now than it did back then. And !!! All of her albums are honestly so good it's so hard to pick a favorite so I can't blame you at all. Seven is def one of my favs from Folklore and I love the saturn lyric so much 🥺

- Omg, it kinda does come as a shock!! It's really sweet that you don't even interact with the fandom but you choose to interact with me 🥺 No, it's not weird at all because my mind was literally blown when I read this ask the first time!! It's really cool to know that you're just someone who connected with my stories and wanted to reach out and aksjdfnsjkf wow I don't think I can accurately articulate how special that makes me feel? Like that's so cheesy but... damn. You literally didn't have to reach out to me, but you did and continued doing so and damn. It really has made me feel special. And now I'm 2% suspicious that you're actually Taylor Swift and 🤨🤨🤨

- Also, tbh, I still can't believe that I'm in the Bridgerton fandom? I literally haven't been in a fandom since 2011 with Harry Potter and this one just kinda happened by accident... I wrote most of wcbcr before interacting with anyone, but someone asked me in a comment if I had a tumblr because they didn't have an ao3 but wanted to tell me something, and then I started posting updates here, and then I started talking to 2 people who were commenting, and then... And then I ended up here. I hadn't planned on writing any more Bridgerton after wcbcr (and didn't plan on it being so long), but it just sort of happened and now I'm stuck here in a sense! I was just intrigued by Polin in the show and ended up reading their book, which left some things to be desired... And again, now I'm here. It's been lovely though, and it's allowed me to talk to great people like yourself!

Anyway, thank you as always! Have an amazing day/night/life!! Feel free to reach out whenever and know how happy your messages make me :-) 💕💓💗💖💝🔆✳️✨

[invisibleinorange]

Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings: None at this point. Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Marina Thompson/Phillip Crane, Eloise Bridgerton/Phillip Crane, Kate Sheffield/Anthony Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Phillip Crane, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin

Summary: Colin Bridgerton is weary from travel and decides to spend the summer at the Aubrey Hall. While his initial plans were to avoid his perfect family, he ends up sharing the house with Eloise and Penelope. This is a Modern AU!

Penelope had always been a pretty girl but when she came down the stairwell with Eloise at her side prepared for their evening out, Colin’s jaw practically came unhinged. If she was looking to give him a heart attack, she was succeeding. His pupils widened and felt stomach clench in anxiety and desire.  

It probably had to do with the fact she was in a dress that contoured to her body, left little to the imagination and was dangerously short.  He wasn’t sure whether to jump her right there on against the stair railings or throw a coat on her.

“Get a grip on yourself,” Eloise murmured, rolling her eyes at him.

He took a moment pondering whether it would be appropriate to suggest that he wanted to get a grip on Penelope instead.  He opted for a different direction.  A joke about masturbation might earn less ire.

“I love to but we’d be late to meet up with Phillip,” he retorted before offering his arm to Penelope.  He waited for her to latch on before offering his other to his sister.

Penelope could overhear Eloise murmuring the word disgusting as she did latch on and they made their way outside to a waiting ride.  There was no sense in any of them driving if they were to drink and Colin hadn’t saw fit to force anyone into the Designated Driver role. It was far easier to all pile in and let someone else do the heavy lifting of getting them to the bar they’d agreed to meet up at.

Colin had made up his mind that he was going to get the seat in the back with Penelope.  There was absolutely no way he was sitting in the front with the driver.

“I’ll let you have the front,” he offered Eloise.  “You’ll have more room to spread out.”

She didn’t go for that though.

“I’d really rather sit in the back with Pen,” Eloise told him, sizing him up with her eyes.

“We could all sit in the back then,”  Colin said knowing there would be no convincing his sister otherwise.

“I can sit in the front if it’s a problem,” Penelope offered after a moment, not wanting to be in the middle of a sibling fight.

Colin and Eloise both let out a “no” at the same time. They’d at least found one thing to agree about.

Penelope let out a laugh at that.

“Okay then,” she told them letting them sort out who was going to sit where.  She had the whole night to hang out with Colin so she wasn’t terribly fussed about where. Eloise was the smallest of the group so it made sense if he took the middle seat.

She was surprised when somehow she ended up in the middle though. She felt a bit ridiculous squeezed into the space but as long as there wasn’t an argument about it and they reached their destination, she wasn’t going to complain.

She wasn’t completely sure the seat belt was going to even fasten. She couldn’t help but squirm when she felt Colin reaching under her try and find it, spending a little more time than necessary to try and help her get the job done.

“You really do look incredible,” he murmured quietly to her, hoping the vehicle’s music would keep the words beyond his sister’s ears. He didn’t need or want commentary.

Those five words were enough to make Penelope’s cheeks pink in the dark.  She had a feeling she’d stay a particularly rosy shade if the night continued on this path.

She might have been trapped between Colin and Eloise but Colin’s proximity was the only one that felt electric.  One glance at Colin and she could almost read his mind.

He was debating how many times his sister might bounce if he pushed her out of the car.

--

The ride itself to the city wasn’t long.  There was literally no person who wasn’t eager to get out of the car when they got there.  Colin easily spotted tall, unassuming Phillip standing against the brick façade waiting on them.

He offered a hand shake upon approach.

“I’m glad you could find a sitter,” he said with a smile before gesturing to Penelope.  “This is Penelope and …”  He then gestured to Eloise, “And this is my pain in the ass little sister.”

“I’m Phillip,” he said greeting both girls though Colin completely picked up on the fact his sister didn’t have a remark. He gave her a glance and immediately questioned whether using Phillip as a distraction was a good idea.  Eloise was practically melting into the sidewalk and he’d never seen her with that look on her face. Why was his sister looking at Phillip like that?

“I’m Eloise,” she said afraid, offering her arm. As Eloise started off inside with Phillip, Colin couldn’t help but shake his head in disbelief.  He waited for a second before looking at Penelope who looked a bit stunned and amused herself.

“Don’t ask me. I’ve never seen her act like that around a guy before,” Penelope said as she latched onto Colin, her laughter filling the warm night as they followed behind him.

“Do I let it play out or do I immediately remind her that he’s grieving?”  Colin couldn’t help but ask.

“You let it play out,” Penelope told him. “Maybe if she’s distracted, I’ll be able to get a dance or two in with you without her trying to dance in-between us.”

“She never tried to dance in-between us at parties before,” Colin couldn’t help but say. He was amused to hear Penelope glad that Eloise was distracted though.

“The way people dance in front of their mothers is entirely different than the way they dance at a bar,” Penelope couldn’t help but muse.

Colin grinned wickedly at that. She did make a very valid point. He shot a glance toward his sister who had dragged Phillip toward a booth to get some drinks.  Phillip was well aware of the fact he was dying to get a little one on one time with Penelope so if they just happened to not go join them for the first round it wouldn’t be so bad.

“Shall we dance then, Pen?”

--

Eloise was the absolute last thing on Colin’s mind once he was on the dance floor with Penelope. She’d always been an exceptional dancer but there was actually a big difference between formalized dances at boring society events and this.

He loved the fact that she wasn’t shy about the way she leaned back into him, guided his arms around hers or the way they swayed to the music.  The warmth of her curves against his was enough to distract him from anything.

He’d planned to have a few drinks himself but he was stone cold sober and he was grateful for it, especially when he decided to spin her around to face him so he could bring her even closer.

His gaze fell on hers and he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Penelope more alive as she shifted, filled any space that might have dared exist between them. His hand went had respectfully stayed on the small of her back, couldn’t help but find its way to her ass.

“I need to confess something,” he told her, leaning his tall body down enough so that she might have a fighting chance of hearing him.

Her eyes met his and she seemed to be debating whether to tell him to go ahead or not but her face softened and she decided to cut him off at the pass.

“I’ve always wanted you,” she told him confessing the truth of the matter.

He’d planned to say something along the same lines or at least that he wanted her and that he’d probably always had and hadn’t quite realized just how much until recently but the words didn’t come out.

Instead he dipped his head down and pressed his mouth to hers, a free hand tangling in her red curls as he showed her just how much he wanted her too.

Penelope received the message loud and clear, her shorter body pushing against his until she had Colin against a hard wall in some dark corner. It was certainly far from private but the shadows were at least somewhat more private than the dance floor.

Never in his most erotic dreams had he imagined Penelope would be the aggressor in this situation and yet there they were and it was all he could do to keep it together as he tried to regain some control, spinning her around until she was the one against the wall. He was too much of a gentleman to take her there but he certainly wasn't going to miss the opportunity to make her beg for it.  Then again, he was probably the one who ought to be begging for it.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he murmured against her lips. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[invisibleinorange]

Swelter Weather

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings: None at this point. Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Eloise Bridgerton/Phillip Crane Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton,  Portia Featherington, Violet Bridgerton, Genevieve Delacroix Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin

Summary: Colin Bridgerton is weary from travel and decides to spend the summer at the Aubrey Hall. While his initial plans were to avoid his perfect family, he ends up sharing the house with Eloise and Penelope. This is a Modern AU!

Additional Notes:  I still have plenty to write for my other series  but this is the first chapter in the Modern! AU which demanded release today.

There was something about the sweet freedom of being away from the crowded streets of London that Colin loved.  While he wasn’t quite ready for another adventure around the world, he did didn’t particularly care to spend the summer in his bachelor flat alone or at the family home surrounded by his perfect and over achieving siblings with their perfect marriages and lives.  Instead he opted to head to the family summer home in the countryside and it was everything he wanted.

He had fond memories of his childhood here.  Life was far less complicated when he and his siblings had been on fairly even footing.  There was nothing to worry about how they were going to spend their afternoons – hikes, swimming or even the occasional croquet battle.   No one had the same leisure between careers, families or school.

He had spent the last several weeks savoring his solitude and the quiet of Aubrey Hall. There were no schedules, no commitments and most importantly not a single person to bother her outside of the occasion phone call or text from a member of his family. If they were being especially annoying, he would turn it to silence and send them to voicemail until he would inevitable cave and respond because he did actually care about what was going on in their lives.

After a late night of eating takeout and watching a movie on Netflix, he had decided to simply not set an alarm clock for the next day. No one was going to complain about him sleeping in, so he did so. By the time he decided to move from his bed, the sun was already up the sky.  He wouldn’t have forced himself up then if it weren’t for the persistent growl of his stomach demanding his attention.  That was nothing new though. He was always hungry.

He pushed himself up from the comfort of his bed, padding his way down to the kitchen.   If his family had been there, he would have had to make some effort at making himself presentable but by having the house to himself, he could do as he pleased and that included going straight from bed to the kitchen.

He grabbed a frying pan and put on a couple of eggs before popping some bread in a toaster.  He hummed absently to himself as he moved back to the pan, working on properly scrambling his eggs.  He couldn’t quite remember the song but it was probably something he’d heard during his last stint in London at some social engagement or another.

“Colin,”  a voice came from behind, making him nearly jump in surprise at the sudden invasion of privacy.  He spun prepared to fight off the offender with a specula despite the fact he knew the voice belonged to Eloise.

He very quickly remembered his state of undress when he caught sight of not only his younger sister but also Penelope.  His eyes widened slightly and he froze, his face growing red with embarrassment. 

Penelope wasn’t any less pink. Their eyes met and then quirkly averted.  While he quite enjoyed the company of his sister’s best friend this was probably not something that would be on their topics of conversation.  He mentally cursed as his mind processed that over the years, he’d randomly had less than innocent dreams about the girl and a few of them started with happenstance just like this but Eloise was never part of them.  Now was not the time to let his mind linger to far there.  He decided to focus on the Eloise part.  His sister was a safe person to focus on.

Speaking of which, Eloise seemed to be the only person capable of taking action. She covered her own eyes, making a face that made it known that the whole situation was the stuff of terrors before blindly reaching for an apron that hung unused, extending it to her brother.

“Christ,” she muttered. “Cover yourself.”

Colin for his part did use it to cover his front not that the damage wasn’t already done. There was literally no way to escape the situation unscathed and he had no doubt his entire family would know about it by the end of the day. He really needed to go put on some actual clothing but first, well he felt like throwing an absolute hissy fit about the fact Eloise thought she could just show up unannounced.

“Did you think to maybe call before just showing up?

“It’s the family home. I don’t need your permission to show up. Besides, what kind of deviant runs around in the nude?  We need to sanitize the entire house now.”

“People who think they have the place to themselves,” he gruffed.

It was Penelope who came out of her shellshock enough to point toward the forgotten frying pan. “Uh, I think your eggs are burning,” she managed, though honestly it was any wonder the words came out in order.

“Shit,”  Colin murmured starting to turn back to the stove but it was Eloise who stopped him mid-spin.

“No,” Eloise said, reaching for the spatula and taking over the egg prep.  “We’ll finish this. You go find some pants for fuck’s sake. Penelope doesn’t want to see your ass. Right, Pen?”

Penelope was noticeably quiet for a long moment but to her credit she did nod at what Eloise was suggesting. It was probably for the best if he did find clothing. Colin decided to save Penelope (and his sister) from further embarrassment.  He moved past, trying to get to the door. He paused and did a little spin trying to keep some modesty not that there were any mysteries to be had at this point.

“Yes, wouldn’t want to traumatize her like that,” he said toward his sister before nodding, smiling cheekily toward her counterpart.  “Honestly, you can stay but  Eloise is ruining the fun. Try and ditch her before I come back, yeah?”

“I resent that,” he heard Eloise complaining after he left the room.

--

Penelope hadn’t been able to bear the thought of another summer locked away with her miserable family so when Eloise had offered the concept of a girl trip to the Aubrey Hall she’d eagerly accepted. It was only half way through the drive that the other girl had mentioned that they’d have to share the house with her brother.

The mere mention of Colin was enough to make Penelope’s heart skip a beat. She had a crush on him for more years than she could count anymore but he’d never given her any indication that he considered her more than a friend.  He was quite charming though and he was always kind.  When he would come home from jet setting around the world, he always made time to chat or dance with her.

It did very little to discourage the crush.

She had thought that with time and distance it would fade but all it took was a mention or a sighting for the whole dreadful thing to come racing back.  How Eloise wasn’t aware of the crush at this point was beyond her but since it was a relatively mute point he didn’t push it. She and Colin were friends but that was all they would ever be.

The last thing she’d expected upon arrival was for her eyes to be assaulted by full-frontal Colin. It wasn’t something she’d be forgetting anytime soon either.

“I’m sorry about that, Pen!” Eloise told her after a moment as she trashed the now slightly burnt eggs and decisively started over making enough to where they could all eat. It had been a long trip after all. “This stuff happens when you have brothers. At least he was alone not that it makes it any less gross.”

Penelope didn’t want to even think about that him having someone else there.  She nodded though. Eloise did have a point that she could only assume was accurate. She’d never had brothers of her own but she’d heard enough complaints about the Bridgerton Boys that she felt as if the mental picture was accurate.

“It wasn’t that gross,” Pen said after a long minute. “I mean, objectively Colin isn’t hard on the eyes.”

“Well he’s not your brother,” Eloise said making a face that made it pretty clear that she wasn’t interested in hearing how objectively not unattractive her best friend thought her brother was.  Maybe she didn’t know how far back it went and she wasn’t really aiming to ask questions about it but she was aware that Penelope had been into him at points.  She was also fairly sure at points her brother had probably been into her friend as well.  Nothing had come of it though and she definitely wasn’t going to try and encourage it lest it all go horribly bad.

Penelope didn’t push it for her part.

They began to work in silence creating a veritable breakfast feast for three and by the time Colin rejoined them wearing shorts a t-shirt they already had the plates made and juice poured.

“Well you might have invaded my very intimate breakfast this morning but I suppose I can forgive you for being angels who cook,” he said as she moved to take a seat at the table that was far too big for just three.  He did pause long enough to ruffle Eloise’s hair to mess with her before sitting in the end spot between the two girls.

“Someone has to be angelic when you’re clearly Satan incarnate,” Eloise responded stabbing a fork into her eggs and taking a bite.

“Only some of the time,” Colin confessed, laughing as he began to pick away at his plate. He offered a light smile toward their guest.  “Let’s be real, Pen is the only angel at this table. Us Bridgerton come from a long line of demons.”

Eloise made a fake gagging noise at that.

“That actually explains a lot,”  Penelope said after a long moment.

That managed to grab both of their attention, waiting to hear what she might have to say about demons and Bridgerton family members.

“I honestly believe you could be an incubus,” she said after a long moment, eyes directed toward Colin.

Colin nearly choked on a sausage at that, he recovered quickly though and fell into a fit on laughter.  Penelope always had been witty and the fact that she thought that he could be the incubus of the family was laughable. He wasn’t the person that most people thought him to be.  Of course, he was charming and could flirt with anyone but that didn’t mean he actually got anywhere. He couldn’t very well have his older brothers judging him for that though so he let people believe what they wanted to and didn’t go out of his way to correct them.

“You can’t just go around telling people that I’m a sex demon, Pen,” he said conspiratorially barely able to keep a straight face. “I mean, what I do in your dreams is between me and you.  Not everyone gets to survive with their soul intact.”

“You better not be doing anything to her in her dreams or your own,” Eloise said, kicking him in the shin. “My friend is off-limits.”

Colin frowned, reaching down to rub his shin.  He wanted to tell Eloise to mind her own business but before he could Penelope seemed to take it upon herself to handle that.

“Little late for that,” Penelope said knowing that by saying so she was declaring sides in this sibling battle.  Colin couldn’t be more smug about it either. Eloise looked as if she could kill them both.

“I’ll try to behave moving forward but I do hope it was as good for you as it was good for me,”  he said, though from the shit-eating grin on his face it was pretty clear that he wasn’t sorry at all.  Especially when his gaze moved from Penelope back to Eloise.  “Sorry El, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Of course not,”  Eloise said, shaking her head.

If this was how the summer was going to go, it was going to be a long one.

[invisibleinorange]

Bridgerton’s Adrift |  19/?

Chapters: 19/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M  Warnings: Presumed Character Death Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton,  Portia Featherington, Violet Bridgerton,  Pretty Much Everyone (at points) Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin Summary:  Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes".

Colin was only a man and as such he couldn’t help but want Penelope. His desire for her burned through every fiber of his being anytime she so much as looked at him.  He didn’t honestly know how he had been so blind in the previous season.

The irony was that no one really had. He’d certainly thought Marina was beautiful and he’d fancied himself in love with her but he hadn’t desired her. When he’d learned the truth about her and everything had ended, he hadn’t felt as if the world was ending. He’d felt relief.

Whatever she’d woke in him was thunderously loud in his head though. He was pretty sure that he would actually die of a broken heart if Penelope hadn’t returned his affections though.  If he’d returned back and been forced to watch her live as wife to his brother, he probably would have thrown himself into the Thames as dramatic as that might be.

He couldn’t live without her.

As much as he was enjoying sneaking away, stealing some kisses it was becoming difficult to not take it further.  He could impatient and impulsive at times.  Anthony had once told him that it was a matter of him being young.

He was tired of being apart from her or doing what was socially appropriate.  He wanted to start his life with her and he didn’t want to wait or get permission from Anthony or his mother to do it.  

As he laid with her, unable to sleep for fear of missing out of a single moment of solitude with her he knew what he wanted. He’d never been certain of anything in his life and he needed to verbalize it.

Penelope Featherington had to be his wife.

“Elope with me, Pen,” he murmured, body tilted toward hers. A hand was grazing her face despite the fact she was half-asleep he knew that she could hear him.

The question had pulled her back into consciousness enough to hear the question and think it over. It was absolute madness. They were already going to be enough trouble for stealing away to some inn. The accusations of ruin were going to be plentiful.

She’d imagined Colin Bridgerton asking her to marry him a million times throughout her short life and none of those had been like this.

The reality didn’t seem any less than any of those daydreams though and despite the fact that she she’d tasked him with courting her it was no longer reasonable.  They were playing a dangerous game sneaking around and eventually they were going to cave to lust or get caught. With his name attached to hers they would be immune from scandal.  

There was one thing that she hadn’t told him though, one thing that only Benedict knew about. She’d thought it imperative for anyone who was going to be permanently attached to her to know.  Benedict had taken the information well. He’d been impressed with her. She wasn’t completely sure that Colin would feel the same way.

She sat up.

“I – I - need to tell you something first and - it might change everything. I should have told you weeks ago but I didn’t want to ruin having you back with this,” she told him. The weight of it definitely did bear down on her.

Colin sat up as well, brows furrowing in concern.

“If something happened between you and Benedict when you thought I was dead, I – I can’t be mad about that,” he said stating the first thing that had come to mind. The one thing that he’d certainly thought about more times than he might have appreciated.

She frowned at the implication.

“I’ve only ever kissed you,” she said defensively.  Perhaps, she’d grown to care for his brother but nothing inappropriate had happened. There was nothing that she needed to admit there.  It was almost insulting that he thought that something might have occurred there.

Her arms crossed and it was clear she wasn’t pleased.

Colin didn’t know what she could possibly have to say that would change how he felt about her. There was literally nothing.

“I love you, Pen. I’m not going to change my mind,” he told her firmly, hoping that would be enough to get her to tell him whatever it was.

“I wrote the article about Marina,” she told him after a long moment.  “I tried my best to tell you the truth but her situation and you weren’t listening and I knew you were serious about eloping with her. I couldn’t let you –“

“Whistledown did that,” he said after a long moment shaking his head.

“And I’m her,” Penelope said after a long moment.

Colin’s jaw tightened with anger and Penelope was certain he was going to get out of the bed and leave her there.  His silence was terrifying.  To her credit, he did get up and he paced the small space of the room a few times, inhaling sharply as if trying to gather his wits about him. He didn’t leave though.

“I know that you won’t be able to look at me the same way,” she said after a long moment, arms relaxing but voice pleading, feet dangling off the bed and she debated pursuing him, “I never intended to hurt anyone. I was just desperate and you weren’t listening to reason. She told me that you could never love me – but it never changed the fact that I loved you.”

Colin moved across the space of the room, he gripped at her shoulders more forcefully than he probably should before finding himself when he realized she looked frightened.  “You could have been ruined,” he said trying to keep his voice low but he was shaking with fury though who it was directed at was unknown.  “If someone knew… If someone figured it out… The Queen could have had you locked away and you could have lost your head. What was I thinking?-”

He wasn’t mad about Marina at all. It was the peril she’d placed herself in that bothered him.   He dropped his hands after a moment, pacing starting back again.   Penelope wasn’t sure what to say or how to make this right.

“I could have gotten you in trouble with my own selfishness.  I was such an idiot and you were in front of me the whole time and I wasn’t even in love with her. I was in love with the idea of being in love until I realized I loved you.”

Penelope wasn’t sure if it was smart to approach or not.  Colin seemed to be in the middle of a bit of a breakdown of sorts. She’d never seen him so out of sorts and she didn’t quite know what this meant for his proposal or the future.

“Col-” she said after a minute, finally climbing back to her feet, moving tentatively over to him, a hand on his shoulder.

He spun back, eyes dark as he glowered down at her.  He reached a hand out and he pulled her to him successfully earning a squeak of surprise.

“I need you to understand something,” he told her firmly. There was a pause and his eyes moved to her lips.  She nodded at him, quiet as she waited for him to yell, scream or put her in her place.  His grip was firm but his did soften slightly as he backed her to the bed, letting her body fall into it. This was hardly the reaction she’d anticipated and her heart sped up.

“I’m always going to love you and if anyone ever makes you think otherwise ever again, I’m going to murder them,” he continued, climbing over her using his arms to keep himself from squishing her.

“You still want me?” she asked, gazing up to him in surprise.

He answered by pressing a needful kiss to her mouth. He was done waiting on some arbitrary thing to confirm what was in his heart. He could get past her being Whistledown. What he couldn’t get past was her trying to help him and him ignoring it or the fact that Marina Thompson would dare try and speak for how he felt. He might not have been smart enough to have had it figured out but that didn’t mean he hadn’t cared for her then.  He would have been as furious then as he was now.  He would moved Heaven and Earth to prove the words false.

Even if it had been another lifetime ago, he still felt an urgency to show Penelope just how he felt about her.

She returned his kiss, making it loud and clear that she was not going to deny him whatever he needed to get through this moment.   Her legs opened almost reflexively, arms pulling him closer until there was no space between their bodies.

“Let me have you,” he demanded against her lips. His voice was raspy, a mixture of all the emotions he was feeling flooding into this near plead because he wouldn’t dare ever do anything that Penelope didn’t consent to. He couldn’t stomach the prospect of doing her more harm.

He didn’t exactly stop himself from further exploration while he waited the answer.  His mouth darted to her throat and down letting his tongue taste her skin, a hand already set to working on the buttons of the dress she’d had on since they left London.

“Yes,” she told him firmly.

The dress was honestly done for. Colin didn’t mean to be overzealous, especially when he hadn’t exactly gone above and beyond for packing. He’d have to bribe someone to go purchase something new in the morning but he didn’t give a damn about the logistics of it all at the moment, especially when the buttons popped so easily and he could push at the fabric.

Somewhere in his mind, he’d thought to promise that he’d be gentle and make sure that she enjoyed this.  He was speechless at the sight of her bare breasts.   He’d seen her in nightgowns and shifts a time or two in recent weeks but he’d never dared push his luck.

He let out an audible groan before letting his mouth move down, one hand teasing one of her breasts while the his tongue and teeth explored the other. He kept going until he had earned a moan out.  Then and only then did he switch to the other side.  He had to be equal opportunity here.

He couldn’t help but laugh softly when he felt her small hand, tugging him back to her lips by the hairs on his head. He willingly came though, never one to turn way her demand for kisses.

He had to put a hand under her hip in an attempt to shift her though, in an effort to tug at the fabric so that he might address the issue of unmentionables.

Colin forced himself off her long enough to let his hands do the work it needed to do to rid her of the rest of the fabric. His eyes met hers as he went to undo his trousers.  He’d removed his shirt at some point during their earlier somehow less innocent kisses and it wouldn’t require much to free his erection.

Penelope’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of him though she didn’t provide commentary, didn’t dare ask the million questions that she had.  She’d gotten enough information from Daphne before her almost-wedding night that she had nothing to fear.

Colin was back on her in a minute, pressing a tempered kiss to her mouth then her nose before he let a hand move down her middle through the thatch of hair until her found the tantalizing heat of her center. He practically throbbed with need for her but he had to restrain himself a little longer.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” he murmured and she felt one finger dip inside of her.  The sensation caused her body to shift against him and an indelicate sound escaping her that only spurred him to keep going.

Penelope had been horrifically embarrassed at the graphic explanation of intimacy from Daphne. She had to give her some credit though. She’d not lied when she said there was much to be enjoyed.

His fingers were working just fine and every time he touched her differently or added more it only served to make her want him more.    

“Col-“ she murmured after a moment.

His eyes met hers and there was no mistaking what she was saying even if he already knew.  He scaled back up her body, positioning his body before he began to slip inside, nearly exploding at just how perfect she truly felt around him.

It took ever fiber of his being not to bury himself completely but he knew that he needed to take his time, knew that there would be some temporary pain involved here.  He was calculated slow, biding his time and just savoring the little sounds that were coming out of her.

He paused when he finally found resistance and he forged ahead.  He ceased all motion when he saw the slightest hint of pain cross her features, balancing himself enough so that he might run a hand through her curls to distract her from pain that he’d never have to put her through again.

When he felt her shift against him slightly, he knew that it was okay to move and it all felt so perfectly natural. He lost himself to it though he certainly didn’t let himself get overly carried away.  He wasn’t going to last long. Not this time. It had been pent up inside of him for far too long.

He let a hand move between them, working nerve endings that he knew would push her there as well while his mouth worked the one spot that he knew would make her squirm.

Penelope definitely did squirm, though she couldn’t quite explain everything that was happening in her body she knew that it was right and she was close to something.  When it hit, her body shook and she gasped.  Had she forgotten to breathe for minutes? Hours? She couldn’t even remember.

It was just enough to push him to climax, collapsing next to her.  Her tugged her in, hugging her against him as they both struggled to breath.

“… So… that was a yes to the eloping, right?” he said after a long moment, voice breathless.

She buried her face in his shoulder to fight off a fit of laughter.

The answer was definitely yes.

[invisibleinorange]

Chapters: 12/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: T Warnings: Presumed Character Death Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton,  Portia Featherington, Violet Bridgerton, Genevieve Delacroix Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin Summary:  Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes".

It took nearly a week for the tensions to calm down after what posthumously was dubbed ‘the night of the burnt dresses’.  Anthony for his part had attempted to make things right by purchasing a series of new dresses for Penelope.  He knew that he took things a bit too far but he’d only wanted to protect her like he would any of his sisters.  At the end of the day, he wouldn’t change a thing about the actions he’d taken.

He wouldn’t come right out and say it but he also felt a bit like he’d done the poor girl a favor.  Her mother had clearly been dressing her in poor fitting dresses in the poorest excuse of fabric colors for years.  Dressed in decent clothing, it was abundantly clear that had she had her new wardrobe in the last season, things might have played a little differently for her.

He knew better than to put that out into the universe though since he’d barely escaped unscathed from the daily glares, silence and intermittent tongue lashings from the family.

Benedict hadn’t exactly been forgiven either.  Whenever he came into the room, people got up and walked out all together.  Eloise and Benedict had hardly went a day since Eloise was born without talking to each other and even she was keeping her distance.

It was enough to drive anyone mad.  There was only so long that Benedict could avoid being home by drinking and making art.  As much as he needed his outlets, he also did enjoy the comfort of family around him.

He needed to take action but he didn’t know what to do.

Fortunately for him, he didn’t have to do anything.

He was alone the study when he heard the door open.  He was busy working away with a sketch with his charcoals and he didn’t bother to look up. In his mind it was either going to be a servant or someone who would walk right back out.

He was surprised when it wasn’t.

“Benedict,” he heard after a long moment.

He looked up and there was a strange sense of déjà vu that hit him.  Just like she’d sought him out before on the swings and things had seemed to be working themselves out, she was there again.

She cleared her throat.  There was something quiet, unsure about her voice which reminded him of how she’d always been instead of the confident girl that he’d been watching her grow into.

“Can we speak?”  she asked.

“I’ve been trying to speak to a week,” he said knowing there was some edge to his voice and he softened it once he caught himself. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or deceive you.  I was just caught off guard and -  I would have told you I didn’t send the dress.”

“This isn’t about the dress,” she told after a moment, lips pursing into a tight line.  “I know that none of you would intentionally hurt me. It was my thought for jumping to conclusions and thinking that you were trying to romance me. I’ve never actually had anyone attempt to romance me so I was too blinded by it to think logically and Eloise didn’t help.”

“I didn’t know that you wanted me to romance you,” Benedict said after a long moment raising an eyebrow.   It was uncanny really that even now the thought of actually romancing her was foreign, weird.  Even after all these weeks, he still thought of her like another sister. If he set his mind to it, he could do this properly.  “I mean, I thought that you hadn’t set your mind to accepting my proposal so I was honestly giving you the space you required.”

“I don’t know what I want,” Penelope confessed after a long moment.  That didn’t seem an accurate depiction of how she felt though since she knew precisely what she wanted and it was something that she could never have.  All the time in the world could pass and she’d still wonder about how differently her life might have been had Colin not been lost at sea.  “I won’t begrudge you secrets because I have plenty of my own – I can’t marry someone that I can’t trust and I wouldn’t want that for someone else.  You can’t grow to love someone if you can’t trust them.”

It was that point that he realized she was still wearing the ring he’d given her and everything seemed to fall into place. She was actually considering going forward with this after everything.  An even bigger alarm went off in his head at the fact she thought she could have some secret so big that he might have a problem with it. He cocked his head gazing at her as if trying to read through it all to figure it out.  There was literally nothing there.

“I won’t lie to you any more then,” he said after a long moment. “And while I can’t think of anything more than a white lie that you are burdened by, I suppose you can do the same.”

Penelope visibly winced at that.  There was something about the expression on her face that made it clear that she was holding back something big and he was at a loss so he just listened and waited, prepared for her secret to be something absolutely innocent.

“Then I must tell you something now,” she started. “You must promise to never tell anyone.”

“I promise,” he told her. He nodded, anticipating building and a chuckle already threatening at his lips for whatever would come out of her mouth.

“I’m Lady Whistledown,” she confessed.

Confusion flooded his feature and that chuckle did escape though almost waiting for her to laugh as well. Surely, this was a joke!  There was absolutely no way.

“Did Eloise put you up to this?”

“No, I’m serious.”

“But – that’s impossible!” he found himself arguing knowing that there was no way that the awkward little wallflower who hung around his little sister was that the proprietor of that wretched gossip column. “There is no way that you’d have nearly ruined yourself and the whole Marina Thompson thing easily could have –“

“Colin,”  she said after a long moment as if to justify it. “I couldn’t let Colin go through with it.  I tried to talk him out of it and he wasn’t listening so I used the only tool that I had that would stop him.  I’d rather be a spinster than someone who lets. I regret the hurt that it caused but I don’t regret – well, I do actually.  If I’d not done it, he’d still be here now and you wouldn’t be trying to ruin your life by marrying me.”

That was enough to render his speechless and he rose from where he’d been sitting, pacing for a moment to try and gather his thoughts.  His family had been absolutely obsessed with that woman, trying to figure out who she was every time they delighted in what she said or were angered.  He didn’t know whether to be upset or proud that Penelope was capable of such a stir.

The truth of the matter was that she’d never said anything that was false (as far as he was aware) about their family or other families. She merely speculated, stated what she observed and candid.  He couldn’t hold that against her, especially when more times than not she’d saved them.

The fact that she blamed herself for saving Colin from a loveless marriage built upon a lie hit him like a ton of bricks and the heaviness of it reminded him of the grief that he’d locked down. He wasn’t happy that his brother was gone but he didn’t blame Penelope or anyone else for the death.  He could have just as easily blamed Anthony for the fact he’d felt like he needed to see more of the world.

Benedict let out a long breath of air that he didn’t know he’d been holding before crossing the room,  decisively taking her hands as if to show that this information didn’t bother her.  He wasn’t going to go and tell the Ton this information.

“You’re not the reason he’s dead,” he said after a long minute.  She wasn’t quite looking at him though so he reached down to force her to look up at him.  “Besides, Colin would be furious if he knew you were blaming yourself for that.”

She was clearly going to dismiss the words but it was essential that he knew as much.

“Well he at least wasn’t furious enough to come back and haunt me,”  she said quietly after a minute. She’d honestly begged him to do it and he hadn’t.

“Well you’re just not looking in the right place. He’d haunt the kitchens. Even in death he’d be a bottomless pit,”  Benedict added, with a sad, wiry smile. Even if it was painful to talk about him, it did feel nice to have Colin’s name not be avoided.

“I can’t argue that,” she said after a long moment.  “Are you really sure though?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” he insisted.  “You’re just crazy enough to survive our family.  We might as well make it official.  I suppose, I could put one condition on it.”

“And what might that condition be?”

“Our first born son,” Benedict said after a long moment pausing to try and make the words feel less weird. “He’d have to be named Colin.”

Something about that touched Penelope to the core and she felt tears forming in her eyes. She wasn’t quite sure how much of that was still grief and how much was the moment.  Her words didn’t form for a long moment.

“What if we only have daughters?” she finally asked.

“Colleen clearly,” Benedict added with mirth.

--

Beloved Readers it appears that the mourning black of recent days is about to transform to new, exciting shades. It  thrills me to announce that the confirmed bachelorette Penelope Featherington will not be forced to spend season as a wallflower.

As previously reported, she took up residence with the Bridgerton Family some time ago. While there was speculation around the Ton to what this might mean,  we can now confirm that from grief new beginnings have formed.

Benedict Bridgerton, the second eldest son of the family, has allegedly proposed and said proposal has been accepted.  The news has brought joy where in recent weeks there has been little positive news to report…

LADY WHISTLEDOWN'S SOCIETY PAPERS, 7 OCTOBER 1813

[invisibleinorange]

Chapters: 15/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: T Warnings: Presumed Character Death Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton,  Portia Featherington, Violet Bridgerton, Genevieve Delacroix Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin Summary:  Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes".

It hadn’t been too much trouble getting Daphne into the carriage and to her London home with the Duke.  The majority of the family returned back but the men had forged ahead with the Duke to help get her inside and to ensure that a physician could come tend to her.   It turned out that the baby wasn’t actually trying to make an early arrival.  It was just sort of false labor.

As many children had been born to their mother, Colin still found himself painfully ignorant when it came to the majority of it. He was grateful that Simon wasn’t going to be attempting to murder him for bringing harm to Daphne and the child.

It was dark by the time they got to leave.  

As eager as he was to get home, clean up and change clothes before finding Penelope there was someone else he needed to speak with.  He was most grateful to the fact Anthony had decided to stay behind a little longer with their mother so that he could be alone with Benedict.

The silence between them was strange.

He couldn’t recall a moment in his life where things had been estranged with anyone in his family. He didn’t think that Benedict was mad at him but he definitely wasn’t acting excited to see him.

There was only one way to forge ahead and that was by addressing the elephant in the room.

“I’m sorry for… ruining your wedding,” Colin said after a long moment.

“It’s for the best,” Benedict said after a long moment. He didn’t look at him though and his jaw tensed in a way that didn’t convince Colin that he was happy about it.

“Listen if you-“ Colin started to say knowing that family would always come before all else and if his brother was in love with Penelope, he would make himself scarce. He would move aside as painful as it might be.

Benedict cut him off at that though.

“It was Anthony’s idea after he remembered your letter,” he said after a long moment.  “We just wanted to protect her and that felt like the best course of action.  She loves you. You know that, right?”

Colin wasn’t completely sold that Benedict was giving him the full truth there.  It was a bit too dismissive but it was hard to think to properly investigate when he was hearing precisely what he’d wanted to hear longer than he knew he wanted to hear it.

“And I love her,” he said confessed after a moment.  “You’re my brother though and I don’t want to get in the way of something good for you either. I wouldn’t intentionally harm you even if I kind of did want to punch you for a solid minute.”

“We were going to name our first born Colin,” Benedict told him after a long moment.  “I had started looking for a property for us to build a proper home that would be ours.  I’ve been weirdly sketching her a lot of late. There’s a lot more to her than meets the eye.”

Colin was both touched and a bit caught off guard to hear Benedict speak of her in that way. His worst nightmares had all involved coming back and finding out that there was something real between his brother and her.

“She’s always been pretty special,” Colin said after a moment. “I mean, it took me a while to figure that out and … I’m grateful that you would have really taken care of her.”

“She’d never forgive me if I got in the way,” Benedict added. “Don’t tell her that I told you this but Eloise told me that she caught her trying to harm herself after we heard about the boat and we thought you were…”  

His voice trailed off but Colin had the full picture there.  He felt sick thinking about the pain he’d inflicted toward everyone even if most of it was accidental.  He couldn’t change any of it now. Al he could do was forge ahead.

“If she’d hurt herself, I would never have forgiven myself,” he said earnestly. “I assure you that I won’t hurt her again though.”

That earned a glance from Benedict as they moved toward the house.

“Good because the next time you do, you won’t come back from the dead,” Benedict said.  There was no smile to his face to indicate that it was a joke and Colin was quite clear that it was the truth.

--

Colin was half way up the stairs, taking two at a time.  He actually found himself humming a song as he bounded, not even pausing as he moved through the hallway with practice skill knowing where the best guest room was, having no doubt that he could finally steal Penelope to talk.

There were other things on his mind but talk would have to suffice for the time being.  After months of being without any of the people he cared for, he was certain that just being able to look at her face and hear her voice would be enough.

The door was shut but he doubted she was asleep. He knocked nevertheless, practically unable to keep still as he waited for her to come to the door.

Whatever his reaction had been to her in what was supposed to be her wedding dress to Benedict was eclipsed by the way his throat went dry and his eyes widened slightly when she answered the door in a state of undress that meant she might have thought their talk wouldn’t come to the next day.

She was wearing a shift that was practically transparent. It was clearly new and meant to grab attention.  Perhaps it had been meant to be worn for her honeymoon and hadn’t saw fit for it to go to waste.  He could hardly stop himself from looking even if he knew it was nowhere near appropriate.

“Colin,” she practically squeaked, grabbing for her robe to tighten it over her that was a little less transparent.  “I thought you were still at Hastings House.”

Every inch of invisible skin turned as red as her hair.  It was completely unpinned and loose at the moment and he definitely hadn’t seen her like this before.  Colin felt almost dumb as he shook his head no.  He had to find his tongue and quickly.   He clenched his fists to keep himself in check.

“It was a false alarm.  Daphne has to take it easy but she’s going to be fine,” he managed after a long moment, lingering in the door frame.

“That’s honestly marvelous to hear,”  Penelope told him.

She bit her lip, completely subdued by her own nervousness. She’d always been a bit nervous when he was near and that definitely hadn’t changed.  She also wasn’t sure what was going on in that head of his. The clenched fists indicated anger but his voice didn’t.

There was a long stretch of silence that followed before whatever self-control Colin had been holding onto evaporated and he moved past the threshold, shutting the door behind him with a decisive action.

Penelope was so stunned by it that she opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing but she didn’t get a single word out before the gap between them was closed-in and he had leaned down, pressing a needy kiss to her mouth.  

She didn’t properly even think about how utterly inappropriate it all was, instead leaning up and into him as she returned it.

A strangled moan escaped Colin against her mouth.  He’d tried to keep his thoughts of her pure but God help him that whatever desire he had to be a gentleman until he could properly court her, make her his wife went out the window the minute she kissed him back. Maybe they could talk about everything later.

He reached a long arm backwards, aiming to latch the door knowing full well that even if he had every intention of wedding her, his mother would literally have his head for this if she or one of his siblings were to accidentally catch him with her.

His other arm looped around her and as soon as he was certain that it he’d succeeded at the lock, the other joined it a hand curling around the curve of her backside to pull her closer.

“Forgive me,” he murmured against her lips.  

It was Penelope who properly broke the kiss, teasing him with a little nip that took him by surprise.  She took a step back, eyes watching his.

“On one condition,” she said after a long moment, fingers moving up to toy with the robe she’d shielded her gown with before.  She teased him for a long moment before pushing it to the floor.

Colin was prepared to give her anything she wanted. If she was trying to get him to leave though, she was definitely moving in the wrong direction. If she kept playing with him like that, he’d do far worse than look at her.

“Anything,” he told her.  “I know that I’m not worthy.”

That at least earned him another peck. He took another step forward, trying to grab at her again but she pushed away his hands lightly.

“You can have me and you can have me,” she told him with a grin, her voice light and teasing. “But you’ve got to properly court me first.”

“Pen,” he pouted.  He had made a promise though and he did fully intend to romance her.  He wanted her to have anything she desired but at the moment, he had more pressing needs.  If there was ever a time for his charm to be effective, he hoped it now. “Does that mean I can’t steal any more kisses?”

She laughed.

“Perhaps a few more would be appropriate.”

He was going to push his luck.

[invisibleinorange]

A Different Ending |  4/?

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: M Warnings:  Only be forewarned that this is an AU from the Adrift saga but Colin actually died in this one, so if he’s mentioned he’s actually gone. Relationships: Benedict Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington (past feelings),  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics,  Daphne Bridgerton/Simon Hastings Characters:  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton, Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Penadict (do we have a ship name yet?)

Summary:  There were some requests for an alternate/Parallel word to "Bridgerton's Adrift" where Benedict and Penelope actually did get married. So this is the result of that peer pressure.

Benedict Bridgerton was hardly a virgin. He’d been with plenty of women through the years who all understood that nothing was going to come of the dalliance. He hadn’t ever been with someone who actually meant something to him.  He couldn’t earnestly say that he was in love with Penelope at this point but with every passing day of their marriage, he certainly grew to admire her more.

That admiration was why it was easy to find affection and intimacy in ways that weren’t overtly sexual in nature. They spent their days taking leisurely strolls and leaning against each other while they enjoyed their personal exploits.  She’d read to him from whatever book she’d stolen from the library and he’d spend the afternoons sketching away.  

In the evenings, they would go to bed together and while neither saw fit to initiate kissing they had progressed to curling into each other.  Sometimes, Penelope would curl into his chest and others his arms around her middle. Regardless of the form it took, they would lay there talking until sleep inevitably took them.

It was something they had both come to look forward to.  Penelope had never quite felt like she belonged anywhere as much as she did in Benedict’s company. Sometimes it took her by surprise how right it all felt.  She hadn’t really thought she could have a happy ending.  She’d always thought it something meant for her sisters.

Her life had been so different mere weeks ago and yet it felt like another lifetime ago.  She’d thought her heart might never heal after Colin had died, especially when she’d learned that he’d done so thinking she was sore with him. She was actually happier than she felt she deserved though.

“I should probably write something about our honeymoon,” she told him from a desk in their bedroom where she’d taken to writing her latest article for Lady Whistledown.

Benedict saw propped against the pillows. He was dressed but his shirt was undone slightly. His hair was messy because he’d just completed a bit of nap.  He gazed over to her affectionately.

Eloise had not wasted any time ending her letters about what was happening at home though not much happened in the short time since they left.  Benedict had been pleasantly surprised that Penelope had already worked out how to ensure publication was not stalled in her absence from London though.  It was impressive for a woman to be so savvy.

“Well how do you think our honeymoon should be reported?” her asked from where he was sitting. “Are we the vision of newlywed bliss or misery?”

She laughed softly.

“Bliss,” she told him sincerely before scribbling some words on the paper.  She smiled before lifting the page, gaze moving toward his as she decided to read the excerpt.  “While most of London’s gaze turns to those who will seeking their match in the coming season, this writer is happy to report that the off-season wedding of one Benedict Bridgerton to Penelope Featherington has proven fruitful. Sources report that they have may forsake London all together – as they are particularly fond of their bed as most newlyweds prove to be.”

“It’s true,” Benedict said with a laugh before petting the space on the bed next to him.  “I think you should return to bed.”

“As you wish.”

Penelope laughed putting down her article that she’d have to finish later, ignoring the ink stains on her fingers to go climb back into the bed. She moved right into Benedict’s waiting arms, curling into his warm body.  He pressed an affectionate kiss to the top of her head.

“I’ve actually been thinking about our future home,” he told her after a moment, eyes closed as he just enjoyed having her close.

“I thought you’d found a few places that might work,” she told him quietly.

“Yes but none are good enough,” he confessed.  “I found some undeveloped land in Kensington.  It would take a little longer but have someone build us the perfect house.”

“I’m going to be happy as long as we have food and a bed to sleep in,” she told him honestly.  “You know that it doesn’t have to be perfect.”

“I know that but it won’t stop me from providing it. I was thinking you could have your own study for your writing and not just for Whistledown,” he told her, happy to encourage your passion.  “Most houses would only have one and while we could convert a room to one, we’ll need the room for when we have company or children.”

It wasn’t the first time they’d casually mentioned a future with children in it but it was the first time since they’d been married.  It was kind of strange to think about filling a home with them when their intimacy hadn’t quite evolved to the point where there was even potential to children.  It was always reassuring to hear them mentioned though because it meant that they would get there.

“You’ll need space for your art too,” she told him after a moment. “If we’re going to go all in on this, we should both have whatever we need to be happy.”

“You make me happy,” he told her honestly, arms tightening around her.  His face buried in her hair, a hand idly moved to play with some of her curls. “Whatever you want you’ll get but… the point is that this might mean living in my former bachelor quarters for a little while.”

“I’ve never actually seem it.  Tell me about it,” she told him relaxing against him, encouraging him to tell her about what was going to be their temporary home in the coming weeks. Daphne and the Duke had been generous but they couldn’t stay in the country forever.

“It’s smaller without a proper staff,” he told her after a moment.  “It’s in Piccadilly near Albany Hall.  It’s certainly less grand than the family home but it is private.  I kept two bedrooms just in case one of my brothers ended up needing to stay.  It’s quite simple though.  There is a pretty nice stairwell to the roof though and I’ve been fond of going up there and taking in the city.”

“I can see why you weren’t in a hurry to end your bachelorhood,” she told him with a small smile.  “I mean, I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times I wished there to be an escape from my mother’s home.”

“I’d say it was a pretty fair trade,” he told her earnestly.  “I’m glad my mother meddled and brought you home to us. I don’t know that I would have convinced you to accept me if she hadn’t.”

“We’ll never know,” Penelope said with a playful smile.  

--

There were almost always charcoals and paper nearby.  Benedict had moments where he didn’t feel inspired but he had taken to sketching in the early mornings before the light became so bright that Penelope would be awake to watch him do it.

It was one thing for her to provide commentary when he was sketching inanimate objects or flowers but when he found himself particularly inspired by the look on her face as she slept or the way the fabric of her nightgown clung to her he was scared of her judgment.

His lips tightened as his eyes moved back and forth between her sleeping form and the paper,  knowing that whatever he put to paper wouldn’t equal to how adorable she when she having a pleasant dream.

Normally he had enough focus to know when she was about to wake, so he could stop but his focus had been on the shading of her curls when he felt arms curl around him from behind.

Her face buried into his shoulder for a moment before looking up.

He heard her surprised sigh and he braced himself for her to say something negative but she didn’t.

“You were sketching me?” she asked in surprise.  Her eyes lit up in recognition of her own form, in the fact that she actually looked quite beautiful in Benedict’s art even when she didn’t see herself as beautiful.

“I’ve been doing a little bit every day,” he confessed.  “I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about it.”

“I’m flattered,” she told him, moving to sit in his lap sideways, moving the charcoals from his hand to the table. “You’ve made me look beautiful.”

Benedict raised an eyebrow at that.

“You are beautiful,” he told her firmly.

Their eyes found each other and he expected her to argue it but instead she leaned in and captured his mouth. It caught him completely and utterly off guard and he knew he froze for a second before melting into it. Her lips were soft and desirable.

One of his hands found the back of her head, fingers curling in the red locks. Between the proximity and her kisses, his body was beginning to respond and warning lights began to go off in his head. It would be all too easy to carrying her across the small distance from his chair to their bed and take her.   He could literally feel himself getting more aggressive with her. He had to stop himself.

“Pen,” he murmured softly against her mouth, when he forced himself to pull back. He was her husband and there was absolutely no reason why he couldn’t do whatever he wanted but he’d always prized himself on being gentle, patient.  In this moment, he wasn’t sure he could temper himself.  He needed to step away but it was difficult with her in his lap, especially when he was cognizant of the fact she was still in her nightgown.

“Is there something wrong?” she asked eyes fluttering open, gaze questioning.

He could have laughed if it wouldn’t have been misconstrued.

“You’re perfect,” he told her, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of her head before gently moving her off him so he could rise to his feel. “—I was just thinking that maybe I should try and find someone to get us some breakfast.”

Penelope frowned slightly from her new standing position.

“You don’t have to go,” she told him.

He wasn’t quite sure how to explain it to her though, especially as his eyes cast over her from the door frame that he’d made a point to get himself too.

“Yes I do,” he said resolutely before disappearing down the hall to regain some level of self-control.