#and when I did the dancer quest tonight I was like OH MY GOD I CAN DANCE WITH THEM

[girlscience]

real win for gay girls tonight

[noodles-n-soba]

A God like dance

Scenario: Holding a ginormous feast for the people of Sumeru, you and Nilou make your appearances as the dancers. Little did you know that your devious mind had a great plan, ready to be executed on the spot.

CW: Archon quest spoilers!!~ Probably did not proofread.. again.

A/N: O MY GOD. Guys Im alive! I survived the testweek (though, the results are less pleasant for some subjects~..). I have another exam tomorrow purely for the sake of a Cambridge certificate... So basically, my life has been a mess! (Kinning all Anemo vision holders rn). However, now that I'm slowly getting back on my normal and healthy school pace, I am doing alright! Trying to crank in some fanfics too ;)

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Masterlist

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"I can't believe the fake God was invited to the celebration party.. How come this even happen?" You looked over to your friend and fellow dancer, Nilou. "The Balladeer? Hmm, I assume it's Greater lord Kusanali's idea." You removed the fabric that covered your face, looking over to the sun that was slowly making its way into the ground. "This great heat is overwhelming.. We should quickly return to the city.. We are dancers, not adventurers." You notified discontent, wiping the pearls of sweat off your forehead. "Well, (Y/n), let's keep our hopes up. At least we've been useful for the Traveler and rest.. The plan worked out eventually!" She smiled kindly to you, making your frown reverse its ways. "I must say, I am pleased with the outcome.. But it's way too warm here. The city has some form of cool breeze." You eventually concluded, on your way to a cart being pulled forth by sumpterbeasts.

"Oh..! What are you doing?" With gracious movements you hopped on board, holding out your hand for the girl and smiled with teeth visible. "It's a lot easier, right? Sir?" You looked over your shoulder as you felt Nilou's hand intertwining with yours, pulling her aboard. "Of course, we're off to Sumeru city (Y/n) and Nilou! Hold on tight." The coachman responded excited, of course.. Your names were known all over Sumeru, the best performers of the land, your reputation was like a golden veil that fell over Sumeru. Eyes observing the desert you were slowly leaving behind, your body rocking back and forth as the cart traversed sandy roads.. You were looking forward to tonight, finally being able to meet that suspicious and human forged deity. As you slowly blinked and avoided sandy winds, Nilou and you reheard the program for tonight, the dances and the freestyle moment where both of you would do anything you like.

The sun slowly set, the theater cozily decorated with diverse decorations which made you feel at home again. Finally being able to put on your dance outfit made you feel relieved, you were wise enough to dress up into other clothes before you would smell sweaty from being tormented by such temperatures.

You finally arrived at the podium, looking around  and observed the crowd of citizens as background  music was already setting the mood. "Dear all..! Thanks for coming, we are very grateful and honored to have you among our midst..!" Nilou begun when the attention had shifting towards you two. But, who could miss the two of you, looking beautiful, colorful and gracious. Dressed with colorful patterns, the stage filled with lights and warm colors. "We hope you'll have a wonderful time here! Please, remember this day as something special!" You continued, the billion dollar smile on your faces made them all cheer and clap in excitement while Nilou and you took on your starting positions. As the music slowly made its presence in the theater, the two of you walked to each other with gentle steps, legs moving along with the beat and hands moving on to the rhythm. It almost seemed as if the entire place was sparkling like crazy, a mixture of beauty and amazing talent seemed to rain down on the people standing there.. Gaping at the two of you as you delivered an amazing dance. While dancing you finally noticed the lot standing right in the center, The Traveler, Al Haitham, Cyno, Dehya.. And this other guy who you didn't particularly knew personally. You and Nilou switched places on the stage, still dancing exactly in sync as your movements were precise and a sight for sore eyes. Calming down everyone, enchanting them and making them all gaze at you was your goal. They were supposed to forget everything, their work, their worries.. This was the final push the people of Sumeru needed according to the two of you.

Your act existed out of something simple yet complicated, you had to guess a lot.. And taking risks was what you were best at, but this mistake would probably leave you embarrassed. Nilou's solo act existed out of a dance and intertwined with her vision she would create a spectacle with a little touch of special effects. You, in fact, were trying something entirely else. This time you wouldn't use your vision, you would be completely independent from it. You would try to make him feel welcome in Sumeru.

With a smile beaming on your face you danced your way to the back of the podium, it was time for Nilou to perform what she was really good at. The lights switched onto her, finally you could observe the crowd in peace. All their eyes sparkled when they saw her, dancing around as it almost seemed as the entire building danced along with her. Her soft face expression when she made a slow turn, facing you for a second, gave you enough courage. You were going to do this correctly.. No doubt necessary! When her dance was over, she subtly gestured you to come forward while still dancing. You made your way in the spotlight again, and this time she faded into the darkness. With a few pirouettes you stood still on the stage, your breath uneven as your hands swayed around. Your eyes fell on the unknown guy, the fake God. At least, that was his alias. You were sure he was something entirely else now. You slowly stepped down the stairs and passed the crowd while keeping your body moving.. With eyes wide open they kept them on you, and with  gentle taps on their shoulders they already moved out of the way for you until you reached the group of hero's. The crowd had made a big circle around you all, a gentle smile on your face while you gazed at the guy himself, he blinked a few times without moving.. frozen on the spot. You saw Dehya poking the Traveler's side, a smirk found on her face as you took the guy's hand and pulled him along with you towards the podium. His entire face turned a bright red shade, you softly chuckled and pulled him close without making everyone realize it wasn't part of the dance. "Relax and follow my steps.." You rapidly whispered into his ear, his hand gently resting in yours as you led him across your territory. Even though Scaramouche had never danced, he seemed like an absolute professional thanks to you. Being engulfed by your radiating skills they did not realize that he took a misstep once or twice, how he almost tripped over his own feet because he forgot that he should've moved to the right.. You were there, correcting him in some kind of way.. It seemed so perfect, as if you had practiced over a hundred times with him for this moment, this night. Your eyes sparkled and so did his, even though he would rather hide it by closing his eyes. But he couldn't, if he knew that he'd get dragged on stage.. He wouldn't even be convinced by The Dendro Archon to come. Well, there he was.. In front of a great dancer and beautiful figure, he didn't even know your name yet.. And you didn't knew his. But still, you were dancing with him and leading him around, whispering what he was supposed to do with 1 word and making it clear with that only. How special you were.

Minutes seemed like seconds, how long was he staring into your eyes again? Star shapes had appeared in them, indicating your mental success for this performance. You smiled once more to Scaramouche, Nilou appearing on stage to cover him up and to give the final dance together with you. He slowly disappeared to the back without you even saying he was supposed to do so, he saw your smile, remembered your smell, felt your aura caressing his own skin.. You turned your head to the crowd again as you gave it your all for the last time tonight. Observing you up close was a great experience, forgetting how detestable he was about the idea of going to such an event, he saw you dancing.. Dancing your heart out, enchanting his mechanic heart without even doing something with him.

Panting the two of you stood in your ending positions, the crowd cheering, clapping and screaming. A performance that would stay in their minds for days, being reminded of such a great starter of the night whenever they'd hear your names or see your faces. You bowed gratefully, waiting for Nilou to say her words before the two of you would leave until you saw some movement in the corner of your eye. You realized, standing on your toes to reach Nilou's ear and whispered something. She giggled and nodded afterwards, you running towards Scaramouche who had been standing there all this time and pulled him behind the curtains.

"Hey! You're being extrmeely rude. I dont even know your name!" He hissed, you stopped running when you were in an safe place to talk peacefully.  "Sorry.. It was an impulsive idea, I know! But.. Atleast you got quite a nice introduction story.. Don't you." Awkwaraly you scratched the back of your neck, your charms didn't disappear even off stage huh? How special. "Oh, I'm (Y/n) by the way..! I think you're the.. One Lord Kusanali talked about if I'm correct? How may I call you?" You asked and looked around the place, the party was just getting started..  You didn't had too long. ".. You can call me The Wanderer, Scaramouche, The Balladeer even. Whatever your heart desires." He muttered, rummaging through some stuff you simply hummed in reply while you tried to find your hair accessories. ".. Sorry, I'm quite busy tonight.. But it was surely fun meeting you, Scaramouche." You quickly flashed him a smile again, standing still on your spot to make sure you'd have eye contact with him once more.

"I assume you'll be at the party out there?"  Scaramouche asked you, slowly walking your way.. Your sparkling presence was something he wanted to approach, to grasp in some way.. "I will.. Nilou and me had decided we'd stay till the end of course, it'll be a fun experience.. As long as I can find my stuff that is, or else I'll be incomplete.." The Wanderer's eyes slightly widened upon hearing your choice of words, incompleteness.  Wasn't he incomplete before? Wasn't he finished a month ago or so, only to be broken down by a God and built up again by his same enemy. "You seem lost in your thoughts, something bothering you?" You asked him out of nowhere, lifting up a few boxes to look under them.. Sadly enough you had no success. "Shouldn't you focus on finding whatever you're supposed to find." He shook his head and tried waving you away, you sighed deeply while placing your hands in your hips and looking around once more. "Well, I can't find it.. So I give up. But your nose scrunched *UP???*, so I wanted to ask if you're okay." You made eye contact with him once again, staring at each other in silence for a bit before you cleared your throat and walked off to another corner. "... I'm fine, you should try to keep your own problems under control." He replied after a while, crossing his arms as he shook his head. You silently chuckled, shrugging your shoulders in casualty. "You can head back already, I wont be doing anything except for searching." You eventually notified, the guy sighed deeply.

"No thanks, I think I'll stay here. I enjoy.. Some peace."

[thewayshedreamed]

Operation Ghost Leopard— Lysaedion AU

Thank you for the prompt, Non! I really enjoyed writing this one— it’s the first Lysaedion I’ve ever written and the first Throne of Glass fic I’m publishing. Gotta love a prompt that pushes you!

Prompt: Can u write a Lysaedion fic 🙃 Sorry to send u so many prompts lol I’m feeling inspired but don’t feel like writing haha

Hope you guys enjoy! Feedback is always welcome, especially being that I haven’t written these two before!

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Lysandra turned her head over, fluffed the loose waves, and flipped them back over as she stood up. She adjusted her cleavage in her low-cut ballgown and pulled the fabric down her hips a little to make sure it was as smooth as possible. Exhaling a long breath, she righted her shoulders and walked from the bathroom to the gala ballroom.

Her gown was a beautiful, rich emerald green that hugged her curves and made her eyes sparkle in the low light of the room. She was attending said gala as part of her current mission, which required her to play the part she most resented. People often commented on her beauty, with her bright green eyes, dark brown hair, generous curves, and full lips. She was flattered by the compliments in her younger years, before she realized her beauty was slowly becoming her identity.

She grew exceedingly tired of the assumptions she so often encountered when meeting new people. She was treated as shallow, vapid, and for whatever reason, less intelligent than those around her. She was by no means ungrateful for her blessings; she knew there were many women who would kill for them. Nevertheless, she couldn’t help feeling underwhelmed by the assignments Arobynn tossed her way, wishing for a little more substance in her work.

She looked down toward her cleavage, making sure the microphone that was sewn into the neckline of her dress was intact and well-hidden. Tern had done a formidable job hiding it within the fabric, but she felt as though he’d felt the need to “adjust it” a few too many times tonight. She was grateful to be out of his company for the time being.

Lysandra scanned the room for her target. She straightened her spine, lifted her chin, and made her way over to a waiter holding a tray of champagne. She smiled to him sweetly as he handed her drink over, thanking him for serving her. She surveyed the room over the lip of her glass, praying to the gods that she would see that head of golden hair. The sooner she located him, the sooner she could start building her rapport with him, and the faster this night would move.

Aedion Ashryver was anything but an easy target. Not only was he nobility, but he had extensive experience in battle and security, requiring an especially clever agent to complete this mission. When Arobynn had briefed her (along with Tern and the others), he had instructed her quite firmly to complete this mission by any means necessary.

Historically, that had always included bringing men home, whether it be to serve as a companion for the evening or offer her body to them. Lysandra wouldn’t claim that the thought didn’t repulse her each and every time, but her work was not for the feint of heart. Besides, she owed an incredible debt to the man she worked for, and it would be some time before she felt entitled to any sort of opinions on the matter. The consequences of those opinions were too grave to consider.

She knew she was in this position to tempt the young prince away from his post, allowing the rest of the men to move in on Aelin Ashryver Galathynius. His reputation as the party prince and his willingness to sleep with most were no doubt the reasons Lysandra had been selected for this mission. If anyone was going to stand in the way, it would be Aedion, who loved his cousin so fiercely that he wouldn’t hesitate to employ any skill in his repertoire to ensure her safety.

Arobynn and his men needed as many barriers eliminated as possible in their quest for the princess; a ploy to ensure the royals knew of his reach and influence in the area. Additionally, it was no small secret that he carried great affection for Aelin, and he believed she owed it to him to entertain the potential of a relationship after all they had been through.

That thought alone made Lysandra want to punch him in the throat. The nerve. The entitlement. As if the princess were indeed property.

She huffed a breath, still scanning the massive room for Aedion. She meant to walk forward, hoping to make a loop about the room, before a deep voice interrupted her.

“I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you, miss.”

Lysandra turned her head sharply and had to look up to peer into the face of her greeter. Her green eyes fell on ones of bright turquoise with a ring of gold; Ashryver eyes through and through. She scanned his face, observing how he had his golden hair swept into a low bun at the back of his head. If she truly had to complete this mission by any means necessary, she decided she could be much worse off than the beautiful man next to her.

She plastered her most dazzling smile on her face as she answered him. “I don’t believe you have,” she said, extending her hand to him. “Olivia.”

His mouth quirked up at one of the corners, amusement sparkling in his eyes. He took her hand in his, bowing slightly to place a chaste kiss to the back of it.

“Aedion. It’s lovely to meet you, Olivia.” He smiled, and she swore her heart skipped a beat. “Care to join me for a drink?”

“I would love that.”

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About an hour later, they were each several drinks in, having settled at a table near the dance floor. Lysandra had just finished laughing at something Aedion had said moments before, and when she looked back to him, she felt like she wanted to pretend... pretend that she wasn’t an agent hired to sabotage the security of this party. That her participation didn’t effectively ruin any chance that she would ever get to have a genuine night like this with the young prince. He had been nothing but a gentleman the entire evening, and to top it off, he was charming and had a fantastic sense of humor... two things not common in the men she so often spent her time with. She was interrupted from her thoughts, once again, by that intoxicating voice.

“Olivia, would you dance with me?”

“Oh, I’m no dancer. But I appreciate the offer, Prince.”

He chuckled at her. “I told you to stop calling me that. It feels too proper. Please, call me Aedion.”

“Are your intentions with me improper, Aedion?” she asked. She didn’t know what had made her so bold so quickly, but she had a suspicion that it had to do with thoroughly enjoying his company.

She hoped she hadn’t crossed the line too quickly, but she was immediately comforted when he threw his head back and laughed.

“Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”

Something in the words made her toes curl, and she had to shake her head slightly to refocus. He stood, holding his hand toward her.

“Seriously, let’s dance. I promise to lead, and I’ll even let you stand on my feet if you’re that bad off. Trust me.” The way he said the last two words made her stomach sink as if it were filled with lead. Guilt had never struck her on a mission before tonight.

He led her to the dance floor, lifting her hand in the air to spin her once, before gripping her waist with his other hand. She kept her one hand in his and rested the other on his shoulder. He guided her through a waltz, coaching her as needed. She found that he was an excellent teacher, and before long, they were gliding across the floor together.

“You’re a great dancer,” she said. She looked up into his face to find him already looking at her.

“Surprised?” he asked, taking that opportunity to pivot and spin them quickly a couple of times to the rhythm of the music before returning to their original steps.

She laughed, delighting in the way he led her so seamlessly across the dance floor. He wore a matching smile, and she found herself trying to commit it to memory.

“Honestly? A little. I didn’t exactly expect a former General to be so light on his feet.”

He gave her a sheepish smile, not missing a single step as he answered. “Ah. Well, neither the military, nor the war itself, saved me from the years of cotillion.” He ended with a grimace.

“You don’t seem too enthused about that,” she laughed. It was quickly drowned out but the popping of the speakers near the stage, startling her toward.

He steadier her, and she righted herself quickly. “Teenage Aedion was an absolute nightmare regarding cotillion, but my mother was relentless. All comes with the territory, I suppose.” He led them into another couple of swift turns, and as they did so, the damned speakers popped for a second time.

Lysandra jumped despite her effort not to, earning a low chuckle from Aedion. “It’s okay, Liv. Just noise interference.” Even so, he pulled her a little closer to him.

Gods, he was so fucking nice.

Just as quickly as she had the thought, she felt inclined to take it back. His hand started to slide up her waist as they moved, dangerously close to the underside of her breast. She supposed he’d earned his reputation from somewhere, and she was about to experience it.

“What do you say you and me get out of here for a little while? I could use a break from the noise,” he purred.

By any means necessary.

She held her breath, but he pulled his hand away slightly before he placed it on her ribs just below her collarbone, covering the neckline of her gown on that side of her body. He leaned his head close to her opposite ear, her breathing more and more shallow as he moved.

She cursed her heart for beating so intensely, knowing he could feel it due to the placement of his hand. She managed to keep her face somewhat neutral, not daring to look at him. She gave a brisk nod before he continued.

“Tern should have invested in better equipment. Your mic isn’t playing nice with the sound system, Lysandra.”

She stumbled slightly, but she corrected herself quickly, hoping no one noticed. He spoke again quickly.

“Give them the signal,” he instructed, as he brushed his lips over hers.

It took her a second to realize his meaning. Give them the signal that we’re going to find somewhere to enjoy each other.

Understanding dawned on her then— he was playing into his known reputation, looking like the promiscuous prince who couldn’t keep from feeling her up on the dance floor, all the while covering her mic to shield his words from listening ears. Her anger washed over her upon her realization that he was absolutely capitalizing on this knowledge. He obviously knew she wasn’t at the gala for leisure, and he also knew who she worked for if he knew her name. For a man who had seemed every bit the gentleman tonight, she couldn’t believe he was taking advantage of this situation to have his way with her. And to instruct her so arrogantly to give the signal, confident in what he knew. It had her blood boiling in seconds.

Despite her growing anger, she obliged. She ran the lapels of his tuxedo jacket between her index and middle fingers before placing a kiss to his cheek and grabbing his hand. This communicated to Tern and the others what she had planned next, so at least she didn’t have to worry about their eyes on her for a while. If she didn’t return within thirty minutes, they would go looking for her, but that still gave her plenty of time to hand the prince his ass.

Once they emerged from the ballroom, Aedion shifted forward, pulling her hand-in-hand behind him. He walked briskly down the hall, scanning all around them for any witnesses. The coast looked clear for the most part. Lysandra wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing as it applied to her.

They approached a women’s private restroom, and he pulled her swiftly inside. He locked the door behind him, gripped her by the waist, and turned her so that her back was against it. His eyes roamed her body, paying particular attention the assets exposed by her low neckline and his higher vantage point. She was still bristling with anger, and it irritated her that she flushed under his gaze.

He ran his nose along her temple, across her cheek, and then up and down the side of her own. She lifted her chin, shoulders squared, unwilling to back down after his odd power move on the dance floor. He offered a sideways smile, and she hated that it made her heart flip all the same.

“We only have a few minutes, Liv,” he murmured.

Liv? He already called me Lysandra.

“What are you waiting for?” she challenged.

He broke into a full grin at that, eyes glancing at her scarlet lips. His gaze darkened as it dropped past her mouth, landing on the neckline of her gown yet again. His hands came up, his calloused fingers running along it back and forth. She thought he aimed to tease her, but suddenly, he had gripped her gown on each side of her sternum and yanked. The gown ripped open down the middle, and any plans she had to seem collected vanished. She gaped at him, utterly speechless.

Rather than groping her chest, he rubbed the layers of fabric between his left thumb and fingers. Once he landed on what he was looking for, he fished her microphone out from between the layers, disposing of it in the sink and turning on the water. She watched as it danced under the stream, seeming as chaotic as her heartbeat and the thoughts running through her head.

“What the hell was that?” she whispered roughly.

He angled away from her as he shrugged off his jacket. He spoke, but his words weren’t meant for her.

“Come in, Whitethorn.”

A few seconds of silence.

“Have the wolves engaged the others?”

He was unbuttoning his white dress shirt. Once he got four of the buttons loose, he gripped it between his shoulders with one of his large hands and pulled it over his head.

“I’ll keep you posted on our location. Notify me once Salvaterre is in position.”

His attention turned to Lysandra again, keeping his gaze locked above her neck.

“Take off your dress and put this on,” he ordered, throwing his white shirt toward her.

“You’re not serious.”

“Look, I’ll turn around, but we don’t have a lot of time,” he said impatiently as he pulled his belt from their loops around his waist.

She did as he said, letting the ripped gown fall to the floor. She eased the massive shirt over her head and was enveloped in his scent. She didn’t hate it.

“It’s on. Now will you tell me what the fuck is going on?”

He shoved his belt toward her, and when she offered him a confused look in return, he elaborated.

“Don’t women do something with these to make a dress or something? Put it around your waist. I’ll roll up your sleeves.”

He worked around her efficiently, despite her frequent movements to wrap the belt around her. She pulled it tight, wrapping the excess around itself and tucking it under.

“You still haven’t told me anything, Aedion.”

He pulled the elastic from his hair, letting his long, golden locks fall to his shoulders. She couldn’t help but give him a once over. The fact that he was now in nothing but his slacks, a plain white v-neck stretched tightly across his shoulders, and his hair hanging freely was quite distracting, to say the least.

“I’m on a bit of a mission myself. The twins are working the room near your colleagues to serve as a distraction and to buy us some time. Being that they won’t look for us for another 20 minutes or so, we should be okay. But you’re not exactly easy to sneak out of an event in a tight green dress and looking... like you do,” he explained. He handed the elastic to her, prompting her to pull up her long locks.

“You were quite clever out there. With the mic and all that,” she deadpanned. “I should have known you were up to something.” She pulled her hair into a messy bun and regarded him as he shoved his bow tie into his tuxedo jacket.

“Last I checked, people didn’t earn high ranks in the military or high-profile security positions by looks alone,” he joked. He turned to look her over, running a hand through his hair.

“Gods, you couldn’t be plain if you tried,” he remarked under his breath.

She tried not to blush under his praise, but her body had already betrayed her. His eyes fell to her mouth, and she felt her body heat under his appreciative gaze yet again. He brought his hand up to cup her cheek, his thumb resting on her bottom lip. She was holding her breath, but his next words brought her abruptly back to the present.

“Lick my thumb.”

She blinked up at him and pulled her head back slightly. “I’m sorry, what?”

He rolled his eyes, daring to look exasperated. “I’m going to wipe off your lipstick. We’re meant to be sneaking out after a quick romp in the bathroom.”

“Please don’t say romp. And, no.”

“Fine,” he said and made to move his thumb toward his own mouth. He was too close and his scent was all over her. She couldn’t think straight.

“Wait! Stop,” she gripped his hand and brought his thumb between her lips. She watched as his pupils dilated, but he shifted his focus to his task as if he was completely unaffected. He ran his thumb over her bottom lip, then her top lip, and he spent a little additional time cleaning things up around her Cupid’s bow. She hated the heat that rushed through her at his touch.

He cocked his head as he finished, and she realized it must be because he was receiving some type of communication.

“10-4. We’re on our way,” he responded.

“Why should I go anywhere with you? They’re going to look for me. I can’t just leave. What the hell is this about?” The words poured from her, one statement after the next, all rapid fire. She almost mentioned that he was playing right into her own mission by leaving the princess vulnerable, but she knew it was unwise.

He scooped her gown from the floor and shoved it into the large trashcan in the bathroom.

“I need you to trust me, okay?” The earnestness in his expression broke her heart. “They can come looking for you. They won’t find you, and you’re officially under the protection of the royal family of Terrasen, anyway. They can’t hurt you.” He threw his vest and jacket over his arm, gripping her hand as he opened the door.

He flipped off the light, leading her down the dim hall near the ballroom. They slipped into one of the side doors, and he placed her between himself and the wall as they walked the perimeter of the gala. He walked quickly, his long legs making it nearly impossible for Lysandra to keep up with him without stumbling. She observed the twins holding court near her colleagues, and she dipped her head in the hopes that they wouldn’t see her. She hadn’t made the conscious decision to do so, and she realized then that she was more onboard with this exit than she’d been willing to admit. They approached the doors toward the front of the ballroom, and he shifted her in front of him so that her form would be blocked by his large frame from anyone inside the event.

They made it through the lobby in seconds, and he gripped her hand to guide her toward a large, black SUV. She skidded to a halt, feeling compelled to warn him of the threats to his cousin.

“They’ll look for Aelin,” she breathed.

He pulled her slightly to continue walking, speaking in a hushed tone. “The princess will be fine. We have to keep moving.”

Guilt poured through her, but she couldn’t bring herself to explain everything to him. She wouldn’t have the time, anyway. They approached the SUV, and he pulled the door open roughly, ushering her inside as quickly as she could move. He hauled himself inside after her, speaking lowly.

“Target secured. You may retreat.” She realized he was talking to the twins inside. A dark, intimidating man sat in the driver’s seat, and Lysandra assumed he must be “Salvaterre”. He pulled forward, easing them away from the building, but hitting the gas urgently once they turned onto the highway.

A large, tattooed hand reach from the seat behind them, making her jump in surprise. The hand gripped Aedion’s shoulder, giving it a slight shake. “Well done, brother,” he praised.

“Are one of you going to tell me what the hell is going on? Since Ashryver here seems unwilling to do so?” she demanded, impatience tickling her spine.

None of the men spoke, but she felt the smooth caress of breath over her ear. She turned, and a pair of turquoise eyes identical to Aedion’s locked with her own. The princess of Terrasen looked at her, her chin resting on her folded arms over the back of the seat.

“Evening, Lys. It’s been too long,” Aelin cooed.

“Aelin,” she said as a greeting. She didn’t have anything else to add.

“Maybe I could offer some insight,” she remarked, eyes scanning Lysandra’s face but never showing any signs of discomfort at the tension.

“And why would you be able to do that?” she seethed.

“I’m the one that asked them to find you.”

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[thegoodgayshit]

Luz’s mother really doesn’t want to send Luz to camp. She knows once she leaves, there is no going back. But Luz has a knack for getting into trouble, and one day she stumbles into the same type of people her mother would have preferred she avoided. After helping Luz dissolve her high school bully into dust, Eda and Lilith know right away that this kid is just like them - a child of the gods. So Luz hops on a Pegasus and heads to Camp Half-blood, where she embarks on a dangerous quest that makes her both friends and enemies... and she might even save Olympus along the way.

Chapter Nineteen: We Play the World's Most Dangerous Game of Ultimate Frisbee

 The dance floor was filled to the brim with students enjoying the music, so Luz led Amity by the hand to a more quiet spot on the outskirts where they wouldn’t be bumped by other dancers. When they got to a good spot, Luz gave Amity an experimental turn, and the daughter of Aphrodite giggled as she did a spin, and Luz saw the tip of her sword hanging just above her knees.

“Wait, you actually put your sword there? I thought you were joking!” Luz exclaimed, and Amity laughed, her cheeks flushing red as she pushed her dress back down with the hand that wasn’t tightly gripping Luz’s.

“Where else was I supposed to put it?” Amity asked sheepishly, “I’ve never needed to carry my sword while wearing a dress before.”

“I’m just surprised that the great Amity Blight doesn’t have a magically concealed weapon like I do.” Luz teased, wiggling her fingers to show off Aletheia, which was sitting comfortably on her ring finger.

Amity rolled her eyes. “Magical artifacts like that are few and far between. And not all of us are stupid enough to choose a cursed weapon like that one.”

“Hey!” Luz put her hand over her heart as though offended, but the smile stretching across her face gave away just how unbothered she was by the comment. “I love my magic sword and all its cursed qualities, alright?”

The two of them twirled around to the upbeat music together, cracking a couple of jokes and laughing. Luz couldn’t actually remember the last time she’d been this happy. Sure, she was on a dangerous quest to save Olympus and probably the entire world, but at this moment, in this stupid university hall holding Amity’s hand and spinning her while her best friends watched in the wings, Luz thought tonight couldn’t get any better.

After a moment, the song switched, and it took on a much slower rhythm. The pair’s dancing slowed, and Luz started to feel the heat under her collar. She could do the upbeat and quick dancing, but suddenly the idea of pulling Amity in for a slower dance was making her nervous.

Amity seemed to be feeling similarly, because she cleared her throat, her cheeks turning pink as she looked away from Luz awkwardly.

Exhaling nervously, Luz mustered a smile and squeezed Amity’s hand. “Would you want to um…” she gestured with her free hand to the room around her, and thankfully Amity just giggled.

“Yeah… okay.”

Luz's smile grew, and she gently pulled Amity closer to her. She gently put her hands high up on Amity’s waist, and the daughter of Aphrodite timidly let hers fall onto Luz’s shoulders. She was so close, Luz could make out the tiniest details about her she hadn’t noticed before. Her chipped black nail polish or the splash of freckles across her nose. The two swayed slowly to the music, not really following any sort of dance in particular.

The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, not with Amity’s gold eyes staring at her softly, but Luz’s heart was beating way too quickly in her chest to be able to just enjoy it. The need to say something, anything at all, quickly overcame her.

“So uh, this is nice.”

Amity snorted at Luz’s awkwardness, which just made her heartbeat quicken. Amity was so cute when she laughed.

“Yeah, it is. I’ve never been to a school dance before.”

Luz swallowed hard. Her heartbeat had now sped up for an entirely different reason.

“I have.”

Amity, who hadn’t noticed the change in Luz’s demeanor, just tilted her head curiously. “Oh yeah? Was it anything like this one?”

“I… I don’t really remember.” Luz really didn’t want to talk about it, but she wasn’t going to ruin the mood just because she’d answered Amity’s question.

Amity, however, had seemed to pick up on Luz’s hesitance, and she frowned. Her hands on Luz’s shoulders tightened reassuringly.

“Luz, are you okay?”

Luz shrugged her shoulders. “The last time I went to a school dance the kids there played a prank on me and it ruined my dress. I haven’t been to once since.”

“What?” Amity gasped, her eyes widening. “Why would they do that? ‘

Luz felt her eyes beginning to prick with tears at the memory. She’s swallowed hard to force it away.

“I’m kinda the weird kid at my school. I don’t really fit in. There was a group of girls who found out about my crush on this girl and… well… it’s a long story. They picked on me all year. But the semiformal dance was the worst. They met me outside before I could even go in and threw the punch on my dress. Then I found out the girl I liked was in on it and… well, you can guess how it went from there. I just went straight home. It was mean… but I’ve dealt with worse, you know?”

Amity’s frown had deepened, and Luz wanted more than anything to change the subject off of Maya. This was supposed to be fun, and a way for her and Amity to get closer. She didn’t want to unload all her old mess on her. Amity didn’t deserve that.

“Luz, I’m so sorry. I heard about those girls from my siblings. One of them was an empousai, right? They’re terrible monsters, they like to pick on unclaimed demigods-”

“It wasn’t the monster,” Luz interjected her face flushing red. She was embarrassed to be talking about this, but it wasn’t as bad as she had thought it might be. Amity wasn’t judging her. She wasn’t faking any sympathy, she just… listened. But despite the careful and kind way Amity was letting Luz talk, the usually upbeat demigod was letting all those quiet feelings bring themselves to the surface. She was angry, and hurt… and bitter too.

“The monster didn’t come until after the semiformal. The girls who bullied me… they were just regular kids. Regular mortals who just wanted to make me feel terrible for no reason other than that I was different.”

Amity was quiet, and the two continued to sway to the slower music together,  when Luz looked at her, she saw Amity’s face morphed into sad contemplation. Luz tilted her head curiously, and Amity eventually sighed.

“Luz, I owe you an apology,” she said, her voice so low that Luz would have missed it if they weren’t so close.

“Wait, wait?” Luz asked, her eyes widening owlishly.

“I do,” Amity insisted, her arms tightening around Luz’s shoulders as they continued to sway. “I was… not nice to you when you first came to camp. I’m really sorry about that.”

Luz chuckled, her cheeks heating up as she looked away. “Amity, you don’t have to be sorry you’ve made up for it enough. You saved my life back in Kansas-”

“And you saved mine first when I definitely didn’t deserve it,” Amity retorted. Luz bit her lip, not knowing how to respond. Amity caught this and reached one hand off Luz’s shoulder to push a loose strand of hair behind her ear nervously. Luz’s shoulder tingled at the loss of contact.

“Just… please let me apologize ok? Honestly, I’ve been kind of amazed at how brave you are. You’ve done things I could never do…”

Luz finally let herself laugh, maybe because of the craziness of where the conversation had turned, or maybe because Amity looked so sheepish, Luz couldn’t help herself.

“Yeah right. Are you going soft on me, Blight?”

Amity’s eyes narrowed playfully, and she smiled. “In your dreams.”

Luz laughed again, and somewhat out of reflex she pulled Amity closer to her, and Amity moved too, resting her head on Luz’s shoulder as they moved to the song. It had changed again, to a more fast-paced beat than the previous song, but their dancing didn’t change tempo, and instead, they kept swaying slowly.

Luz’s heart was beating so fast she wasn’t sure if it had stopped or was just skipping too many beats to count. Amity’s cheek was pressed against the top of her shoulder, and her arms were wrapped tight around Luz’s neck, and Luz could feel the lace sleeves of her dress tickle the skin on her neck. Luz just simply let her hold herself there for a few moments, savoring it before she remembered she hadn’t actually responded properly to Amity.

“I forgive you,” she whispered, and Amity looked up in surprise, meeting Luz’s brown eyes with her gold ones.

“You do?” She replied, her mouth dropping open in surprise.

Luz shrugged her shoulders, a bright smile pulling at her lips. “Yeah, after everything that’s happened on this quest, you’ve more than earned it.”

Amity just gaped at her for a few seconds, before the biggest smile Luz had ever seen on her stretched across her face. Luz laughed again at the sight, it was like she was a little kid opening her Christmas gifts.

“Why are you laughing?” Amity asked, her smiling pausing as though Luz was making fun of her.

“I’m not laughing at you,” Luz promised her, biting her lip to keep more giggles from spilling out of her mouth. “I just think you’re cute when you smile.”

Amity blushed, but the smile didn’t leave her face. Luz was suddenly beginning to feel bolder, taking that as a good sign as any. Her hands on Amity’s waist tightened, and without meaning to her eyes flickered down to Amity’s lips.

Amity must have seen this because her blush deepened, but she made no move to pull away. Luz’s mouth began to go dry, and she felt herself move closer and closer to Amity. Her stomach was fluttering nervously, and she couldn’t believe she was actually about to do this.

Just as the gap between them got smaller and smaller, Luz’s eyes out of nervous habit flickered to where Willow had been standing earlier, and with a jolt that felt like ice running through her veins, she reared back from Amity, her eyes widening.

Willow was nowhere to be seen. She scanned the prom quickly, and to her horror, Gus was gone too.

“Holy Hermes, how long ago did Willow and Gus sneak out?”

Amity jerked back from her quickly, her face still flushed a deep red, but her eyes widening in a similar panic. “The mission! I totally forgot!”

“Me too,” Luz exclaimed in horror, but she couldn’t help the pink that ran up her cheeks when she realized exactly why she’d forgotten. Her left hand had slipped from Amity’s waist to her hand when they’d separated, and she squeezed it absentmindedly as she started dragging Amity through the crowd. “We have to go.”

The pair pushed through the crowd of students, careful not to alert any of the security of what was happening. When Luz thought they were clear, she pushed open the side door with her shoulder and pulled Amity through it, a rush of the cool summer air hitting her in the face as they went outside.

Luz’s heart was hammering in her chest as she let go of Amity’s hand, immediately missing the warm contact. She reached into her pocket and pulled out two of the masks, tossing one to Amity. They pulled them around their faces, (nothing fancy, but it was black and covered their nose and mouth) and started walking hastily towards the classics building.

“I hope they haven’t been waiting too long, who knows what is protecting that shield,” Amity said quietly to Luz, as the two of them ran next to one another.

Luz nodded, her own anxiety beginning to climb. Gus had told Luz before that while it might appear many Greek artifacts were just out in the open, a lot of the time there was something from their world keeping them there, out of the mortal's line of sight. Luz hoped that after losing track of time Willow and Gus weren’t in any kind of danger.

When they arrived to the classics building, (Amity had been leading the way since all of the buildings seemed to look exactly the same to Luz) Amity skidded to a stop, and Luz followed suit. The door was open, with a plank of wood wedged between it.

“They’re inside, Gus must have unlocked it and left it ajar for us,” she said, pushing the door open. “Let’s move.”

Luz didn’t need to be told twice. The pair moved quickly through the halls, and thankfully Amity seemed to know where she was going because Luz would have gotten hopelessly lost.

When they rounded one corner in particular, Amity held her arm out, stopping Luz.

“Did you hear that?” She asked, terrified.

Luz paused, listening closely. She didn’t hear anything in particular, but then a loud alarm bell starting ringing, following by a banging noise. Luz tensed when that sound was followed by a yelp she could recognize anywhere.

“Gus!” She yelled, reaching on her ring to uncap Aletheia which shifted into a sword. Luz pushed through the door and past the ringing alarm bells a few feet down the hall with Amity close on her heels. When she burst into the room, her eyes widened.

“What are those?” She squeaked to Amity, whose mouth had dropped open.

Willow and Gus were at the edge of the room, holding out their weapons threateningly. Behind them, there were half a dozen metal warriors that had come to life all around them. Four of them had swords, and two had spears, and they were closing in on Willow and Gus, their faces designed into scowls, their eyes flashing a bright neon blue.

“Hephaestus left automatons to protect the shield!” Gus shouted from the front of the room. He had his own spear and shield up and ready, and next to him Willow was holding out her sword, a new bronze shield strapped to her arm.

“Help us!” She screamed, swinging at one of the spear-holding statues, who deflected.

Luz and Amity didn’t hesitate before charging into the fray. Luz lunged at one of the automatons with its back to them, and she managed to slice it right in half. Amity swung her own through the head of another, and it collapsed to the ground. That’s when the other two in front turned to the new opponents.

Luz had to hold back a yelp as one swung, and her sword collided with it. Luz was pretty good with her blade, but this automaton was no laughing stock. With its full attention on Luz, it managed to dodge and parry her attacks like a pro, and Luz had to focus all her attention on it.

“We have to go!” Willow shouted as she met the spear of her automaton. “An alarm sounded the second I touched the shield. If we don’t get away now, security will catch us!”

“How are we supposed to get past the automatons?” Amity said, her sword stuck between the automaton as she pushed against it. Gus was in a similar position, his spear stuck between his own shield and the other automaton.

Luz grimaced, pushing forward with a particularly hard strike. Her automaton dropped a few feet backward, and Luz noticed something she had missed before. Every time the automaton stepped backward, the gears in its body moved too, and it had to wait a few moments to adjust before swinging. A classic slower attacker. She looked behind the automaton and saw a row of potted plants growing against the wall behind them, and all of a sudden, Luz had an idea.

“Willow!” Luz yelled, shifting her sword back into her ring and slipping it on her finger, ducking under the automaton’s next swing. “Let’s do the thorn vault! The one we practiced for capture the flag!”

“What?” Willow exclaimed, swinging against the automaton again, narrowing missing its arm. “Are you crazy?”

“Just trust me!” Luz pleaded, already reaching into the inside pockets of her suit. She knew she had put these in there for a reason. Her hands wrapped around the leather hand buzzer, and she slipped it over her left hand.

“Okay, you’re actually crazy!” Willow said, but she got into position anyway. “Gus, Amity! Get ready!”

“Get ready for what?” Amity said in horror, and Luz could tell she was already dreading their idea. From behind her, the potted plants began to rise, getting thicker and thicker with every passing second.

Luz had to duck against the automaton’s next swing, but she slammed the hand buzzer against the bronze statue, and electricity began spilling up into the machine. It started vibrating wildly, and Luz grinned in satisfaction as it’s blue eyes flickered. She looked at her other friends.

‘Now or never!”

“I’m ready!” Gus yelled back, pushing against the automaton with his shield and putting some space between them.

“Alright!” Willow yelled, slashing her sword in the air. “Luz, now!”

The roots came flying at her almost quicker than she was expecting, and Luz jumped, landing hard on the feet of the thick vines. They were easily two meters thick, and still shooting forward. But Luz didn’t have time to admired Willow’s obvious skill.

“Heads up!” She yelled to Willow, slamming her hand buzzer against the head of her own automaton, and the machine began to fizz out wildly, just like Luz’s had. Willow reached out her other hand, and the shield flew towards Luz. She caught it in her free hand, and as the thorns began to turn and spin towards Gus, she slammed it down hard on the head of the automaton, startling it enough that Gus could run it through the neck with his spear.

“Alright!” Gus whooped in excitement, spinning and kicking the automaton’s headless body down to the ground.

“Willow!” Luz shouted, pointing to Amity. “Turn!”

Willow slashed her sword in the other direction, and Luz had to wrap her now empty hand tight around the vine as it spun towards Amity. Knowing she didn’t have another plan, she tossed her the shield, and the daughter of Aphrodite caught it, slinging it around her corsage as she smashed the face of it against the automaton, pushing it a few feet away from her.

Grinning at her opening, Luz jumped off the vine and landed in front of the stumbling statue. She slapping her buzzer against the automaton, and the whole thing began to vibrate until it collapsed to the ground.

Willow and Gus cheered from behind them, and Luz threw her hands up in the air, grinning gleefully. “Alright!”

She reached around with her non-buzzer hand and pulled Amity into a hug. “Teamwork, baby!”

“Luz!” Amity yelped, pointing behind them. Luz turned her head, and her stomach dropped. There were two mortal security guards, who were watching the whole thing with their mouths dropped.

“Uh oh,” Luz said slowly, already backing away. Now that the adrenaline had faded, all she could hear was the sound of the security alarm and the feeling of the room’s cameras on her body. This was definitely not good.

“Over here!” Gus exclaimed from behind them, and when Luz turned her head, her friends were already running towards the emergency exit against the sidewall. Turning towards them, Amity and Luz started sprinting, and the security guards seemed to finally snap out of their trance.

“Hey! You kids get back here!”

“What do we do?” Amity hissed as Willow and Gus pushed the door open. “We’re going to get caught!”

“I’ve got it!” Luz said, reaching into her suit’s inside pocket and pulling out the bag her siblings had given her back at camp. She didn’t know what this was going to do, and she was feeling terrible that the mortals were going to have to deal with it, but surely this was better than getting electrocuted by the buzzer. “Get through the door, now!”

The second her friends had pushed through the door, Luz turned her head and threw the bag against the ground at the entrance as hard as she could, praying this would give them a clean getaway.

She had gotten a little more than she’d bargained for.

The ground exploded in a fleet of purple powder, and Luz was knocked clean off her feet. She was pushed backward, rolling against the ground as she heard screaming coming from her friends behind her, and the guards on the other side. She hit the pavement with a thud, rolling a few feet, and she struggled for breath as the air was knocked out of her lungs.

“Luz!” Came a very high pitched voice from next to her. Luz blinked, coughing as she saw Amity above her, trying to pull her to her feet. “Are you alright?”

When Luz realized what Amity sounded like, she couldn’t help but chuckle through coughs as she stood on shaky legs. “Why do you sound like that?”

When she realized that she sounded like that too, she laughed again. Gods, she sounded so funny.

“I can’t believe Viney gave you a helium bomb,” Amity said exasperated, and Luz laughed even harder. “That could have killed you!”

“Did it work?” Luz asked, trying to stifle her chuckles. In hindsight, it wasn’t so funny as it was ridiculous, but for whatever reason Luz just couldn’t calm down.

“It did, but it won’t for long if we don’t move!” Gus said from next to her, his voice also unreasonably high pitched. Luz laughed so hard she thought her lungs were going to explode.

“What’s wrong with her?” Willow muttered from next to Gus, and Amity rolled her eyes.

“She was in the direct blast,” Amity replied quietly. “she’ll be like this for a little while. But we have to go.”

“I threw the bag, and it just went like… BOOM!” Luz said to them, her grin so wide she was sure she probably looked insane. “I saved the day!”

“Yes, you did,” Amity said to her gently, already pulling her along by the hand as the four of them started running. Luz’s feet were stumbling as she went, and she was slightly aware of the aching in her chest as she ran. Probably when she hit the ground when it exploded. Gods, that was soooo funny. She was snorting to herself just thinking about it.

By the time Luz was able to process where she was, they were already back at where they had ditched their bags. Throwing their stuff over their shoulders, Willow grabbed Luz’s bag as the demigod collapsed to her knees, laughing so hard tears were running down her face.

“What do we do?” Gus asked, and Luz clutched her stomach at the sound of her voice. Her laughs had become silent, as she struggled to breathe. “We can’t take her anywhere like this… and the mortal police will be here any minute.”

“She’s going to start losing it… and I mean more than she already has,” Amity whispered to them, looking at Luz in panic. “She’s probably not going to remember any of this.”

Willow was humming under her breath, looking around the building to prom with her eyes narrowed in focus. Suddenly her gaze flickered over to a mom, clearly waiting for her kids, and her eyes widened.

“Leave it to me,” she said certainly. “Just get all our stuff ready and I’ll be right back.”

“Willow, what are you doing?” Gus hissed in panic as she began to walk over, and Amity leaned down to Luz, who had now just started vibrating on the grassy floor. Luz felt a hand touch her back, and when she looked up, Amity was looking at her anxiously.

“Luz? Just try and stay calm ok? Everything is going to be fine.”

Luz caught herself choking on laughter once again, reaching up with her hand to gently touch Amity’s face.

“I can’t believe I did that, I flew like… so high into the air. Did you see it? Was it so cool?”

Amity bit her lip, nodding gently. “Yes, Luz. It was very cool.”

Luz chuckled again, clutching her stomach. She was only half aware of her vision beginning to go in and out.

“It was cool. But do you know what would have been way cooler?”

Amity frowned, leaning in to look at Luz, who was still cackling to herself, pressing her hands against her stomach, and neck, and face, in an attempt to suppress it. “What, Luz?”

Luz sighed to herself, feeling her eyes beginning to close. Was she about to fall asleep? Maybe. She was very tired after all, and her chest was aching, and her stomach was clenching so hard she was worried she might throw up. She didn’t want to do that in front of Amity.

“I would have liked to finish our dance,” Luz said, so quietly Amity had to lean in to hear it. “I was finally working up the courage to kiss you, you know.”

Luz didn’t remember much after that. Between someone hauling her limp body off the ground and yelling from all around, she had kind of zoned out. She did remember being put into some kind of car, and by that point, all she had to do was lean her head on Amity’s shoulder before she finally fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

[doyouevenshipbr0]

gruvia drabble

author's note: im SORRY im really not over the last chapter. i fr never will be. but yea this one is based on the last chapter a lot more strictly. ALSO the very end issss ooc for gray but it was a cute ending soooo yea hehe. ok enjoy cutiessss<333

*

After a long, grueling train ride, the team had finally made it to the city of Draseel, ready to search for the wood god dragon and take the next step in their mission.

Happy let out a long, obnoxious yawn. "I'm sleepy."

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired, too." Wendy admitted.

"I suppose it is late." Erza agreed. The team sorted out the nonsense with Erza and Erkis, got them switched back, and scolded Erza for being careless. That alone put them back another three hours.

"On the map it says there's a hotel right next to this station." Lucy looked up from the map.

"Alright, snoozing it is!" Natsu cheered. He was happy enough to be off the train, and now he got to rest on top of it.

The group got two rooms for the night, one for the boys and one for the girls. They quickly departed into their two rooms, ready to get some sleep and take on the next day.

Gray barely got a chance to breathe before Natsu and Happy were completely knocked out on their beds. They didn't bother to get under covers or anything, they were just out like a light.

"Why am I not surprised?" Gray sighed. He followed their lead and got ready for bed.

Gray flicked off his bedside light and turned over. After a few moments, he tossed over to the other side. Then onto his back. When a few slow minutes passed, he finally realized he wouldn't fall asleep right then. There was something that was picking at his mind, something he couldn't just easily sleep off.

He let out an exhale and turned his bedside table back on. He made sure not to wake up Natsu, as he didn't feel like dealing with his teasing. He carefully brought the lamp over to a desk that was in their room and quietly sat down. He rummaged through the drawers and to his luck he found just what he was looking for, a pencil and paper.

For awhile, he just stared at the blank paper. He even said "forget it" and tried to go back to bed, but he soon knew that wouldn't happen. So at the table he sat, head in his hands, thinking of how to put words from the pencil onto the paper.

Finally, he thought of something.

"Dear Juvia," He wrote at the top. Then, he hit another block. He was out of ideas once again.

"Ok, Gray, just chill out." He thought to himself. "Just write what's in your head." But that was just that--he didn't know how to translate his feelings into words.

To put it in the simplest words possible, he missed Juvia.

He didn't realize how much he did until he saw her doppelgänger and contemplated love, but he most certainly did. He wondered what she was doing, he thought about what he would be doing with her if they were together, he imagined their reunion when he got back to Fairy Tail, and actually thought fondly about how he would be showered with her love.

He couldn't seem to get her off his mind.

"Gah, this is so embarrassing." Gray thought and scratched the back of his head, his cheeks turning pink.

Again, another deep breath, and he brought the pencil back to the paper.

"Dear Juvia,

The mission is going well. I know you're probably worried sick, and you wish you could be fighting with me right now, but don't worry, I'm fine. The first dragon god on our quest was a water dragon god. Of course, I naturally thought of you." He paused. He went back and erased "thought of you" and wrote "thought of your magic." After a few moments of back and forth, he ultimately decided on "thought of you."

"He was crazy powerful. It made me wonder how your magic would've matched up against him. You're almost as scary as he is, so I'm sure you would've given him a run for his money." Gray smirked at his joke, and he began to think of all the times Juvia's magic had gotten scary strong when she was in a serious fight.

"But no worries, we beat him even though your water magic would've made it a hell of a lot easier. And actually, he's a really nice guy. His magic was thrown all out of whack by this wizard that can steal people's magic. We'll definitely have to take care of them eventually, but for now, we moved onto the wood dragon god in Draseel.

Before we got on the train today we ran into a guild of celebrities that look just like us. The whole thing was super bizarre. Your doppelgänger's name was Juvina, and she was a topless dancer. Hopefully that doesn't give you any ideas for a hobby, because I'll tell you right now, it ain't happening." Gray paused and smirked once again.

"But what really got me thinking was" Gray paused. He wasn't sure how to word all of this without exploding with embarrassment, but he tried his best.

"when we met this girl Ervis; she's an actress. Her next role focuses on love, so we kind of got to talking about that. I can't lie, you're the first person that popped in my head. From there, I couldn't get you off my mind, so I figured I'd write you a letter. It's not like it'll go unwanted. I'm sure you're gonna' eat all this up.

Basically, I just wanted to say" He paused. His hand began to shake a bit, and he took a deep breath.

"I miss you, and I'm excited to see you when we get back to Fairy Tail. Make sure you have your best hug and cheery 'Gray-sama' ready for me when I get back. Honestly, I'm going through withdrawal." Gray finally let go of his breath after he wrote that. Almost everything in him was telling him to go back and erase that bit, but after reading it over for the 30th time, he knew it felt right. It was pretty much exactly what he was thinking, and he knew he had to work on his way of expressing his feelings lately, and this seemed like a good step.

"So I hope all is well at Fairy Tail. I'm sure you're taking lots of missions with Gajeel, and I'm sure you're both kicking ass. I'd expect nothing less. Oh and make some of those Juvi-buns for me. They're pretty damn good.

Sincerely, Gray."

He looked the letter over and over and over. He went back to make little changes, but ended up changing them back. After he finally wore his eraser down to nothing, he decided it was good.

"Ooo is this a love letter?" Gray jumped at the sound of Happy hovering over his shoulder.

"Hey! I thought you were sleepin'!" Gray snatched the letter from the desk and held it close to him.

"I was sleeping. Now I'm awake. Just needed a little catnap." He said.

"Ok, well let's not wake up Natsu." Gray whispered.

"Why don't we wanna' wake up Natsu?" Gray jumped again, hearing Natsu talking over his other shoulder.

"Shit! Since when are you two ninjas?!" Gray held onto the letter tighter, catching his breath from two scares.

"Since when are you a writer?" Happy grilled, notioning towards the paper in his hand.

"I-I'm not!" Gray stood up. "I'm goin' to bed!"

"Is it a looove letter?" Happy teased.

"N-no! Don't be stupid!" Gray was focused on defending himself to Happy and he lost his grip on the paper. Natsu took the opportunity and snatched the letter out of his hand.

"Dear Juvia," Natsu began to read.

"Hey! Give that back!" Gray reached for it, and Natsu pulled away.

"So it is a love letter!" Happy giggled. "What else does it say, Natsu?"

Natsu began skimming the words to which Gray began chasing him around the room.

"Does this say what I think it says?" Natsu's voice boomed. "'I miss you'?!"

"Just give it back, ya' creep!"

"Ah, ah, ah," Natsu paused, and in his free hand he lit a flame, hovering the paper over it. Gray froze.

"One more move, and it goes up in flames." Natsu raised a brow. Gray said nothing. He stood promptly, but on edge.

Natsu continued skimming over the letter. "Juvi-buns?!" He bursted "I thought you thought they were weird?!" He cackled.

Gray folded his arms and looked to the side. "Yeah. They were tasty, alright?" He murmured.

Happy and Natsu exchanged looks and began rolling with laughter.

"What else Natsu?!" Happy said through laughter.

Gray took the opening and grabbed the letter out of Natsu's hand. "I think that's enough story time for tonight."

"We're just teasing, Gray!" Natsu said, still laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, well I'm goin' to bed." Gray practically stomped his way to bed and threw the letter into a random drawer before flopping onto the mattress.

"Hey man," The laughing finally stopped. Gray turned over and saw Natsu and Happy finally collected themselves. "In all seriousness, it's pretty cool that you wrote that."

"Aye!" Happy chimed in.

"Juvia deserves to hear that kinda' stuff. You better mail it out before we leave tomorrow." Natsu smiled at Gray and got back into bed.

"...Thanks." Gray reluctantly said and turned back over.

Once he heard Natsu and Happy snoring again, Gray sat up a bit. He carefully pulled the paper and pencil back out from the drawer. He decided there was one more change he needed to make.

He erased the "Sincerely, Gray." and replaced it with "Love, Gray."

He decided the letter was perfect, and finally rolled over to get a good night's sleep.

[louu-7]

everything i don’t know

on wattpad

CHAPTER 8:

I’m sitting here since maybe half an hour, Sarah came once, to see what happened, but I said that she had to go with the others to enjoy and let me deal with it. I have no idea of what is the solution to these issues, I don’t know if I should stay or come back home, and I don’t know if my Dad’s meant what he said or if it just was to hurt me and make me come back.

I didn’t know words could hurt that much, but I guess I’ll experience even worse in the future, it’s called life, and it’s not supposed to be easy… I mean, for some person everything’s perfect, and beautiful, and kind, but, who’s really believing in this kind of life? Because I gave up for a long time now.

I stopped crying, and I realized I was fucking ridiculous, and stronger than that. Well, I thought that I was stronger than that but I’m weak. “Eh, what happened?” Kie’s voice surprise me as I look at her out of the corner of my eye, incapable of fainting a smile. “Nothing, just enjoy the party, that’s... it doesn’t matter.”

“Girl did you see you? You look like a zombie, I’m not joking.” She laughs a little and sits next to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. “C’mon, what’s wrong?”

“My father, he just wants me to come back, that’s nothing, I’m just ridiculous as fuck right now. I swear I’m not childish I just lost my… my composure.”

“That’s OK, I don’t think you’re a kid, not as much as these guys over there at least, because they’re the craziest kids I know.”

We smile as our eyes sweep the water, with the sun reflection, and the little moves that makes the marsh shine. That’s really relaxing to be here while thinking about my shitty existence. “If you’re not comin’ back home then come with us, you’ll have fun and think about somethin’ else, get up.”

She stands up and takes my hands to encourage me to stand up at my turn, but I raise hesitantly my shoulders. I can’t stop thinking about this situation, I don’t think they can understand how my father can be… scary and just so… cold, even with his own family. “No, I-”

“Thara, you clearly don’t deserve to stay here alone OK, get up and c’mon, let’s have fun!” She smiles at me and I sigh, before standing up under her support. We join the others and I try to keep a smile on my face, even if my eyes are betraying me. “What happen, I though you just were on a call?” John B asks, quit concerned.

“Don’t worry that’s, hum, that’s nothing, just enjoy today. I’m sorry, for the phone, it ruined everything.”

“Nah, it could’ve happen to anyone of you, that’s OK.”

We sit here all and talk while eating a lot of cake, then we put a little bit of music, and the girls are doing an amazing duo when it comes to dance. I never been a good dancer, so I’m just staying here, looking at them both, beaming and smiling to life. Whereas I can’t enjoy, even if I tried.

The stress is just filling me when I starts to think of the conversation I’ll have with my Dad tonight, I’m scared that he completely lock me up, I’m not ready to stop hanging out with these people that I already love for the most part.

The girls are taking me away from my thoughts when they both take one of my hand to make me dance with them. After a while dancing, with the boys running everywhere and screaming the lyrics, and 2:30pm past, we all decide to change and get onto the boat. I send a message to Alyssa where I’m completely beginning her to say to Dad that I came home and that I come back in two hours maximum.

She responds quickly and my heart melt at the second where I read it.

"i do it just bc i love u and i don't want dad to yell at u, but if u wanna hang out b more careful, i'm not onna b able to have ur back everytime. enjoy and b at home in an hour and a half, mom's comin back sooner, love u"

I smile and put back my phone in my back pocket as the boat starts. We continue to have fun and I feel like I finally have a normal life. Pope and John B grab their respective girlfriends and throw them in the water before jumping into it with their clothes on. The smile on my face widen and I sit, looking at them with sparkling eyes and happiness running in my body.

“JJ c’mon bro, the water’s good, Thara, jump!” John B shouts out before Sarah and Kie drown him, laughing at his face when he comes back to the surface. “Guys, come on why aren’t you have a bath it’s John B’s day, let’s enjoy!” Kie looks at JJ and me as I frown and raise my shoulders. “Maybe later, I-”

“No you’re comin’ right now, sorry for you.” John B’s coming and gets back on the boat to grab me, but I stand up and back up, looking at him smiling and determined to put me into the water. “I know it’s your birthday but I’m not in the mood I got some problems and-”

“I don’t care it’s my birthday, just forget your problems.”

“It’s not that easy, if it was I knew it.” I laugh and the border of the boat stop me from back up more. “Aren’t you a little stuck?” He raises his eyebrows and at the moment where I try to run away he catches me and throws me over the boat.

A scream escapes from my mouth and I dive, coming back to the surface as soon as I can and show him my middle finger. “Man it’s the second time, when are you gonna leave me alone?” I laugh and he raises again his shoulders as an answer.

~

I’m home, my mother’s just came back and I didn’t have the time to shower so lets pray, because if she smells the scent of the salt water on my hair I’m dead. We’re in front of the TV with Alyssa when she comes into the room and looks at me nastily. “I apologized, I’m sorry, no need to look at me-”

“Stop.” I grit my teeth a she continues to stare at me like I was nothing. “Please stop because you have no idea what Dad said to me, I think now I understand how I’m the shame of the family.”

“Whatever he told you, you certainly deserved it young girl. You can’t get out of this house, is it clear?”

“Yes, just leave me alone, your all always on my back and I’m tired of-”

“Don’t speak to me like that Thara, I am not responsible of your acts, you wanna be treated like an adult so be an adult, don’t behave like a capricious five years-old girl.”

I don’t respond and let her talk, I don’t want to be arrogant or disrespectful towards her, but with Dad they’re way to harsh on me lately, for nothing. “I hope you enjoyed your little trip because it’ll be the last one before a long time.”

“Yeah, it was pretty cool. Cooler than everything I did with you at least. I must go, I have things to do. Good night.” I stand up and walk to the stairs under the cold look of my dear mother. “Because you don’t eat tonight?”

“No, the call of Dad put me off the food, enjoy the meal without your ridiculous and naive little girl, you’ll be chilled, just the four of you without me.”

I join my room and sigh as I press my back over the door. I don’t know why but every time I’m arguing my heartbeats are so quick that I can barely breath…

My mind suddenly make me think about the gun that I saw in my Dad’s office the other day. I let myself slide against the door and the fact that to have a gun in my house is certainly not a good thing hit me. Why do he owns a fucking gun? Did he killed people? Is it only to protect us?

And, what are they so close to? What could I mess up? All this questions are invading my mind, and I start to imagine a whole bunch of horrible things they could do. Are they really at the head of a vineyard or is it something else? Like a drug network. Oh my God, no, that’s not possible. Is this like, a quest to find someone? And are they killing people who knows to much or who don’t know anything?

Are Isaac and Alyssa aware of this damn secret? No, Aly would talk to me about it, I’m almost sure of it. But what if Isaac is in, and not Alyssa because they know that I’m closer to her than to Isaac?

The whole thing is saying that they’re fucking scared of me or of what I could do. And it’s obvious, I’m rejected of everything, they all can go outside, so maybe they’re meeting somewhere to talk about drug, or about a dark business like killing people for money, or anything else.

I wince and a feeling of being sick is taking me, as I feel more and more sickened by all this thing. I don’t have any proof, except the gun, and this conversation, but I need to know more about this thing that they’re hiding from me.

~

It’s later in the evening, I had a shower and finished my book, but I have to admit my stomach hurts so bad, the lack of food in my body’s gonna killing me if I don’t eat anything before sleep, so I decided to go to the kitchen.

The thing is, on my way I heard voices in my Dad’s office, and I’m actually listening to a conversation between my whole family, without me. Everything’s OK. I can’t hear everything but it’s so weird, they’re talking about some gold and places where it could be hiding at the moment. Neither my family’s completely crazy nor I’m off beam. “We’re really close, I think we’re on the right path.”

Be on the right path for what? This “gold”. I can’t believe that shit, there’s no gold on this island, nothing. I sigh, tired of waiting in front of the door since forever, and go to the kitchen to get me some food. The chocolate catch my eyes but I hold myself back and pick a fruit smoothie and some pancakes.

The door’s opening and the voices get louder. They’re pretty good actors though, I’d never though they were hiding something big from me.

“What are you doing here this late?”

“Hi, Dad, how are you since our little call? I hope it felt good to insult me and unleashed your anger at me.”

“Don’t start to get on my nerves and go to sleep.”

“Yeah, because I’m ridiculous, I play the perfect little girl. Or maybe the coward, I don’t remember.”

“Thara please, I got a long day.”

“Oh, me too. At least I have friends to talk to, we’re not all lonely as fuck.” I don’t bat an eye and he loudly sigh as I walk next to him.” Good night, daddy.

Maybe sometimes they’ll understand what I want them to understand, in other word that I want to be treated like Isaac and Alyssa, not like a little capricious girl. I’m not this kind of person but they keep on pretending I am in front of everyone. Anyway I come back to my room and eat my snack before putting myself under my sheets and fall asleep like a baby.

~

Footsteps don’t stop to resonate since an eternity and even if I managed to fall back asleep three times this night with these sounds and my Dad’s voice, I’m not gonna do it a fourth time. I get up, the floor is freezing my whole body as I slowly walk to my door to open it and glance over the corridor. Nothing. He’s downstairs, fuck…

I walk like a zombie to join the stairs but the front door’s opening make me stop, even step back a little not to be seen. What the hell… Two men are coming in as my Dad’s welcoming them discreetly, they talk a little, whispering, and I can’t hear anything from where I am.

Their loud footsteps make me think they’re joining the living room, or the kitchen, and they start to talk aloud. Who are they? And what the fuck are they talking about at 4pm… I sit on the first step of the stairs and listen with attention their conversation.

The gold again, what’s the point? Is really there some million dollars hiding somewhere on the island? No way, that’s just not possible, not in our world. We’re not in a movie.

“Thara, what are you doing here?”

hii! sorry for the little waiting, i finally saw my family bc lockdown is over in France, i took a lil bit of time for me. this chapter's not good but i worked a lot on the plot lately, a lot of thing's gonna happen soon, at least i hope ^^

i hope everything's good for you, i hope your family's good too and, yeah, love uu thank u to read me, byye!

[niksfiks]

Threads - A Challenge Entry

Originally posted 11/10/18

TITLE: Threads

AUTHOR: Nikkalia (niksfiks)

PAIRING: Loki/OFC

RATING: So very NSFW

SUMMARY: You’ve been avoiding Loki for weeks, citing a determination to finally end an on-again, off-again relationship that’s gone on for far too long. The God of Mischief has other ideas. 

NOTES/WARNINGS: Smut-ishness

PROMPT: “We need to talk.”

You’d have been happy to go to any ball in the Nine Realms except this one. The palace seated at the heart of Asgard always made you cringe whenever you visited, caused by an unsettling feeling of dread that seemed to hang in the air of the throne room. But the unpleasant sensations rolling in the pit of your stomach were coming from a different source. He’d be there, and you’d have to deal with the fallout of your decision to abandon your relationship, such as it was, with him.

Loki had noticed you ages ago at a ball, not unlike tonight. He’d charmed you - said all the right things, made all the right gestures and wooed you in near record time. It wasn’t difficult to see the attraction between you both. You shared the same interests and intellect, and honestly enjoyed each other’s company. No one balked at the idea of the prince and an ambassador’s daughter as a couple, and with Thor gaining headway in the race to the throne, you and Loki were content to simply be with each other. 

When your father took ill the first time, he decided that you would follow in his footsteps and began to train you in the responsibilities of ambassadorship. Loki was excited for you in the beginning as you traded letters of your travels with him. Over time, the stream of letters began to slow to a trickle, then ceased completely. A brief letter from the queen told you not to believe all of the rumors that would swirl about Loki when you once again visited the palace, but it didn’t prepare you for what you found upon your return to Asgard: a courtier straddling his lap, skirts around her waist and tongue down his throat. You swallowed your hurt and your pride and went back home the same day. 

You stood in front of the golden mirror, toying with a braid of black mixed with faded ribbon in your hair as the maids added the finishing touches to your ballgown, thinking back on the argument that followed. The tears, the screaming, the reconciliation - the vicious cycle that continued until your father’s death two seasons ago. Thor attended in Odin’s stead, offering the condolences of the family and a letter from his brother. You gladly accepted the first but refused the second, telling Thor there was nothing left to be said. 

The halls leading to the ballroom were thick with people and laughter, costumes and ball gowns swirling and floating around. You thanked the Norns that you could hide behind your mask, taking every response of shock and surprise at your identity as a personal triumph. How beautiful you’d grown, they said. How like your father you looked. How envious they were of whatever man had captured your heart. You smiled and thanked each for their kindness, not divulging that you’d never allowed another soul to even have a chance with you. 

Food and drink and music moved the night along, much to your relief. While you’d made your formal presentation to Odin and Frigga, their youngest was nowhere to be found. Thor embraced you with the expected bear hug, introducing you to his friends and his beloved Lady Sif. You found yourself laughing at Fandral’s jokes despite his reputation, and even allowed him to persuade you to dance. It was a proper waltz, followed by another, followed by something a little slower. You never noticed that Fandral pulled you a little closer with every turn until you felt the heat of his breath on your cheek. What could it harm, you pondered, to indulge his request to step out onto the balcony? Just as you decided that whatever fallout came would be minimal and forgotten within a day or two, the energy of the air shifted. The voice that rendered you useless and furious all at the same time sounded in a low growl. 

“Fandral. My lady Y/N.” 

You looked up to the darkened face suddenly standing next to you. Emerald green eyes glittering in the light distracted you from the arm that was already making its way around your waist. You thought you heard Fandral curse under his breath before speaking.

“Loki,” he sighed. “I suppose you want to cut in?” Loki snarled an affirmative, never taking his eyes from you. Fandral looked at you as well and abandoned his quest. “My lady,” he kissed your hand, garnering a louder growl from his successor, “it has been an absolute pleasure. I do hope to see you gracing the dance floor again soon.” 

You didn’t even have time to acknowledge him before Loki spun you away, pulling you both into the sea of dancers. You lost count of the songs that were played or steps taken locked in his arms. How you wished you could peer into his mind. He never spoke, never broke his gaze, his grip on your hand firm yet gentle. Your heart pounded in your chest from the sheer terror and excitement of being this close to him again. He was as intoxicating as ever. 

Logic struggled for dominance when you became aware that he was directing your steps to the edges of the ballroom. He released your hand but not your waist, leading you to the halls outside, then a secluded terrace not far from his rooms. Before you could form the thought to speak, he spun you around, crushing his mouth against yours as he backed you against the wall. 

“Loki! Stop!” you cried, pushing him away.

“Why?” he panted, lust burning in his eyes. 

“Because,” you paused, still trying to rein your own libido back in, “we need to talk.”

“About what?” His hands flew into the air. “The same questions that lead to the same argument? AGAIN?”

“Why do you keep pursuing this...me? You were the one...”

“Oh, for the love of Valhalla, let that go! It’s been ten years! I know what I did. I know what you did in retaliation. And if you’d bothered...”

“Then what in the gods’ names...”

“If you’d bothered to read the letter I’d sent,” he took a breath, nearly choking on it before continuing, “if you’d even opened it, you’d know why I’m still pursuing you.”

“Just tell me so we can end this.”

“NO!” He grabbed you by the shoulders. “I don’t want this to end. I never did. Why will you not understand that?” 

“And why don't you understand that we’re terrible for each other? That we keep going around in circles because we know it but won’t admit that this will never work?” 

All color drained from Loki’s face as he stepped back. 

“Do you really believe that?” he whispered.

“I...” He watched you fumble for words for only a moment before closing the distance between you.

“No more talking.” 

Fingers wove into your hair. 

“No more arguing.” 

A thumb caressed your cheek. 

“Nothing but the sounds I adore coming from the woman I love.”

You tilted your head at the last word so that his kiss landed on your temple. 

You were suddenly aware of the speed in his breathing and his gaze upon you. You swore you could hear his heart pounding within his chest, or was it your own?

“I think, your Highness, you misunderstand the meaning of that word.” 

“My dear ambassador, I would gladly spend the rest of eternity showing you precisely what I believe that word to mean if you would only permit me.” Two long fingers crooked beneath your chin, lifting your face to his. “Or would you prefer to share Fandral’s bed tonight? Hmm?” Mischief flashed in his eyes. “If that is your wish, I feel I should warn you of his extensive collection of female undergarments. It makes for quite the unique decor. And, do give him time to change out of the ones he wears. He prefers not to shock his guests too badly all at once.” He grinned. “So I’m told.”

The vision of Fandral dressed only in lingerie caused you to burst into laughter. 

“And what of you, lord of mischief? What tricks do you have hidden away in your rooms?” you giggled. 

Loki chuckled, smiling down at you. “Shall I show you?” 

Without giving you a chance to respond, he wrapped his arms around you and transported you both into his suite. You lingered a moment in his arms, the sound of his pounding heart oddly soothing in your ear. He held you a little tighter, gentle kisses landing in your hair. 

“I’ve missed this,” you whispered. 

“As have I, my love.”

You looked up at him, grinning. “There’s that word again.”

“Indeed,” he smirked before lowering his lips to yours. Tongues danced around each other while his hands slid down your gown. Yours tried for his hair only to be blocked by his helmet. 

“Lose the armor,” you growled. 

“Is that all I should lose?” Your eyebrow shot up. He grinned and closed his eyes, letting the familiar green-gold of his seider deprive him of his clothing before pulling you to the bed. “Any other requests, darling?”

“No more magic tonight. And,” you grinned, “my choice.”

Loki eyed you carefully. “What are you planning?”

His question was silenced by a finger dragged from his lips, down his body, barely brushing against the tip of his stiffening cock before traveling across his thigh. You leaned closer leaving your lips a hair’s breadth away from his. 

“Are we agreed?” The hard swallow combined with the panicked desire in his eyes drew a chuckle from you. “Say yes.” A nod was all he could muster before you rewarded him with a kiss and pushed him back onto the bed. He growled when you swatted away the arms that reached for you. “Behave, or you sleep alone tonight.”

“Y/N,” he whimpered. “At least let me undress you.”

“Not yet.” 

His hands slid underneath his head and you began a painfully slow course along his jawline, nipping and licking a path down his neck and chest. He hissed, hands emerging to grab your hair. You pushed them back into the bed and bit down with a warning look in your eyes. He yelped and glared in disbelief. 

“I said, behave,” you grinned, blowing a soft stream of cold air over the tender nub. He shuddered and flopped backward, driving his hips - and his throbbing member -  into your stomach. You picked up the pace of placing random kisses along his chest, dragging your nails down his ribs before arriving at his pelvis. 

Loki whimpered when you stood. He lifted his head as far as he dared to watch you remove the outer skirts of your gown and sink to your knees. The feeling of your hands wandering along the inside of his thighs sent his head back to the bed, his eyes closed. 

“Oh, the Norns,” he moaned when your fingers ghosted up his shaft and down again, followed by your tongue, swirling around the head. He gasped when you closed your lips around him, and nearly came off the bed when you took him completely into your mouth. 

You’d almost forgotten how much you enjoyed the noises he made when you drug your teeth up his length and slid back down with your tongue. You teased him for a while, alternating between teeth and tongue and taking him completely into your mouth. Moans turned to growls when he’d had enough. A hand slid its way down the arm caressing his chest and into your hair, gently guiding your lips over his cock. 

Loki shuddered beneath you every time you swallowed him, humming as his hips bucked against you and his grip tightened against your scalp. You knew he was close and quickened the pace, adding your hand to every stroke. All you could hear now were whimpers and pleas to the gods, and you moved slightly to take the load you knew was inevitable.  

“STOP!” he shouted, pulling you away by your hair. You looked up to see his flushed face, pupils blown wide. “Not like this,” came in pants as his fingers eased their grip. 

“Hmm, but you promised,” you purred as your tongue darted back out, catching the arousal flowing from his cock. ”My choice.”

With a growl and a single motion, Loki hoisted you to straddle him. His hands worked furiously to remove your gown while he devoured your mouth with his. Frustrated at the complexity of your garment, he broke the kiss. 

“Then this is the second promise I break tonight.” 

A wave of his hands left you naked above him. You gasped when his teeth clamped down on an exposed nipple, his arms lifting you just enough to angle your sex away from his. Fingers rolled your swollen clit around before they slid inside you, garnering him a whimper for his good work. He grinned as you began to grind against his hand while he nipped his way across your chest. 

“Lo- Loki,” you stammered, desperately trying - and failing - to keep focused against his ministrations. 

He slid into you effortlessly, growling with your moan as your body accepted him to the hilt, clamping down the moment he stopped.

“Don’t move.” you gasped, locking your arms around his waist.

“Couldn’t if I wanted to.” He took slow, deep breaths and you felt his muscles relax a bit, allowing him to shift ever so slightly.

“I said don’t...” You dug into his flesh, your entire body clenched around his. “Too close. Too soon.” you panted. 

Loki grinned into your neck, nuzzling, nipping and kissing your skin until your walls tightened even more.

“Dammit, Loki.”

“Darling,” he groaned, dragging his cheek along your own, “you must relax. This isn’t going to go well for either of us if you don’t.”

“Not. Ready.”

“Oh, I think you are.” He kissed you gently, sliding an arm beneath you. “I think you’re more than ready.” 

You whimpered while his fingers trailed down your hip and along your leg. He kissed you again, his roaming hand firmly gripping your ass. You loosened the vice grip on his body, creating a sigh from you both. 

“Much better. Now,” he whispered, “come for me.” 

You tried to resume your grasp on his hips when they started to move but found your hands caught in his.  

“Loki, please. Not yet.”

He slowed his pace, lifting his head to look at you. “The longer your release takes, my sweet, the more the ones that follow are delayed. I promise that this will be the first of many you’ll have tonight. I promise to take you in every way you desire. I promise that you will hear me cry out your name when we’re finally spent.” He leaned down, again burying himself completely, grinding his hips into yours. 

“But for now, let me have you. Let me see you come undone. Let me feel your body release around me.” He pulled out to the tip and slammed back into you. 

“Come.” He growled with another thrust. 

“For.” Another. 

“Me.” 

“LOKI!” you screamed, your back arched as you sailed over the edge. He continued pumping into you until he felt the first wave of your release, slowing to draw out your ecstasy and revel in the sight of your quivering body. When your breathing settled, he rolled you both over before peppering your neck with kisses and began plunging into you again. 

“I’m not done with you yet.” he purred and lifted you leg to grant better access while your hands roamed his back, nails digging in to pull him deeper. He stayed close, his breath hot on your neck between sighs. You nuzzled into his hair, drinking in the mixture of oils, soaps, and natural scent when a braid brushed across your cheek. You lifted it to eye level and smiled at the sight of a strand of your hair woven in with his. 

He had kept his promise.  

“Loki,” you breathed into his ear as you tucked the braid behind it. A hum that rumbled deep in his chest spurred a new fire in your belly. “Claim me.” 

He groaned, thrusting a little harder while your hands wandered back down his sides. 

“Take what’s yours.” 

A whimper escaped, his pace quickened and face buried in your neck. A tongue slid across your skin, bringing a moan from you both.

“Give me what’s mine.” 

Loki growled and bit down on your shoulder. You relaxed your hands in response and he pulled them above your head, holding you by the wrists as he started pounding into you. He moved like a man possessed, setting a pace so frantic that all you could do was hold onto him. The room filled with the sounds of your bodies colliding, moans and whimpers echoing around you as he brought you to a second climax. 

A third orgasm began building almost as soon as the second ended. He grinned and pressed his lips to yours, devouring his way along your jawline. When he found the sweet spot between your throat and shoulder, he clamped down, sucking a bright purple mark into your skin. The pain was enough to send you reeling again. Your entire body contracted around him, nails digging into his back. He roared out your name, finding his own release in spasms for what seemed an eternity. 

When his body calmed, he laid down against you, shifting his weight to one side. You listened to his breathing, accented with soft sighs, slow to normal. His fingers toyed with a few strands of hair, finding the braid with a smile. 

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?”

He propped himself up on an elbow, adoration in his eyes as he caressed the faded green ribbon. 

“You should have this rebraided while you’re here. Maybe with a bit of gold thread mixed in.”

A smile crept across your face. “Gold is reserved for royalty, Loki.”

“Is it?” Mischief played in his eyes. “You know, you never answered my question.”

“What question? The one you asked decades ago?” He purred an affirmative and you quirked an eyebrow. “Even after all this time, the question still stands?”

“Through Ragnarok and beyond.” 

“Such a poet my silvertongue is.” 

Loki leaned down, resting his chin on your chest. “Not enough of one to keep you with me.” he whispered. You began to protest but were silenced by a finger on your lips. “I’m not letting you go this time. Say yes.” 

The old battle between head and heart began anew while he watched. Eventually, he laid down on his side with his back facing you. You slid next to him, placing a hand on his arm. 

“I love you, my prince.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

[nikkalia]

Threads - A Smut Challenge

TITLE: Threads

AUTHOR: Nikkalia

PAIRING: Loki/OFC

RATING: So very NSFW

SUMMARY: You’ve been avoiding Loki for weeks, citing a determination to finally end an on-again, off-again relationship that’s gone on for far too long. The God of Mischief has other ideas.

PROMPT: “We need to talk.”

NOTES/WARNINGS: Yes, I know. If I was gonna write, it should’ve been for GGIR. But this challenge was too good to pass up, and frankly, Loki wouldn’t shut up about this one. Besides, I needed a distraction. This is also not my best work, but what are ya gonna do? So, without further ado, @fadingcoast, @fandom-and-feminism, (also calling @igotloki @mrshiddleston-uk and @mischievousbellerina) I present this:

You’d have been happy to go to any ball in the Nine Realms except this one. The palace seated at the heart of Asgard always made you cringe whenever you visited, caused by an unsettling feeling of dread that seemed to hang in the air of the throne room. But the unpleasant sensations rolling in the pit of your stomach were coming from a different source. He’d be there, and you’d have to deal with the fallout of your decision to abandon your relationship, such as it was, with him.

Loki had noticed you ages ago at a ball, not unlike tonight. He’d charmed you - said all the right things, made all the right gestures and wooed you in near record time. It wasn’t difficult to see the attraction between you both. You shared the same interests and intellect, and honestly enjoyed each other’s company. No one balked at the idea of the prince and an ambassador’s daughter as a couple, and with Thor gaining headway in the race to the throne, you and Loki were content to simply be with each other.

When your father took ill the first time, he decided that you would follow in his footsteps and began to train you in the responsibilities of ambassadorship. Loki was excited for you in the beginning as you traded letters of your travels with him. Over time, the stream of letters began to slow to a trickle, then ceased completely. A brief letter from the queen told you not to believe all of the rumors that would swirl about Loki when you once again visited the palace, but it didn’t prepare you for what you found upon your return to Asgard: a courtier straddling his lap, skirts around her waist and tongue down his throat. You swallowed your hurt and your pride and went back home the same day.

You stood in front of the golden mirror, toying with a braid of black mixed with faded ribbon in your hair as the maids added the finishing touches to your ballgown, thinking back on the argument that followed. The tears, the screaming, the reconciliation - the vicious cycle that continued until your father’s death two seasons ago. Thor attended in Odin’s stead, offering the condolences of the family and a letter from his brother. You gladly accepted the first but refused the second, telling Thor there was nothing left to be said.

The halls leading to the ballroom were thick with people and laughter, costumes and ball gowns swirling and floating around. You thanked the Norns that you could hide behind your mask, taking every response of shock and surprise at your identity as a personal triumph. How beautiful you’d grown, they said. How like your father you looked. How envious they were of whatever man had captured your heart. You smiled and thanked each for their kindness, not divulging that you’d never allowed another soul to even have a chance with you.

Food and drink and music moved the night along, much to your relief. While you’d made your formal presentation to Odin and Frigga, their youngest was nowhere to be found. Thor embraced you with the expected bear hug, introducing you to his friends and his beloved Lady Sif. You found yourself laughing at Fandral’s jokes despite his reputation, and even allowed him to persuade you to dance. It was a proper waltz, followed by another, followed by something a little slower. You never noticed that Fandral pulled you a little closer with every turn until you felt the heat of his breath on your cheek. What could it harm, you pondered, to indulge his request to step out onto the balcony? Just as you decided that whatever fallout came would be minimal and forgotten within a day or two, the energy of the air shifted. The voice that rendered you useless and furious all at the same time sounded in a low growl.

“Fandral. My lady Y/N.”

You looked up to the darkened face suddenly standing next to you. Emerald green eyes glittering in the light distracted you from the arm that was already making its way around your waist. You thought you heard Fandral curse under his breath before speaking.

“Loki,” he sighed. “I suppose you want to cut in?” Loki snarled an affirmative, never taking his eyes from you. Fandral looked at you as well and abandoned his quest. “My lady,” he kissed your hand, garnering a louder growl from his successor, “it has been an absolute pleasure. I do hope to see you gracing the dance floor again soon.”

You didn’t even have time to acknowledge him before Loki spun you away, pulling you both into the sea of dancers. You lost count of the songs that were played or steps taken locked in his arms. How you wished you could peer into his mind. He never spoke, never broke his gaze, his grip on your hand firm yet gentle. Your heart pounded in your chest from the sheer terror and excitement of being this close to him again. He was as intoxicating as ever.

Logic struggled for dominance when you became aware that he was directing your steps to the edges of the ballroom. He released your hand but not your waist, leading you to the halls outside, then a secluded terrace not far from his rooms. Before you could form the thought to speak, he spun you around, crushing his mouth against yours as he backed you against the wall.

“Loki! Stop!” you cried, pushing him away.

“Why?” he panted, lust burning in his eyes.

“Because,” you paused, still trying to rein your own libido back in, “we need to talk.”

“About what?” His hands flew into the air. “The same questions that lead to the same argument? AGAIN?”

“Why do you keep pursuing this...me? You were the one...”

“Oh, for the love of Valhalla, let that go! It’s been ten years! I know what I did. I know what you did in retaliation. And if you’d bothered...”

“Then what in the gods’ names...”

“If you’d bothered to read the letter I’d sent,” he took a breath, nearly choking on it before continuing, “if you’d even opened it, you’d know why I’m still pursuing you.”

“Just tell me so we can end this.”

“NO!” He grabbed you by the shoulders. “I don’t want this to end. I never did. Why will you not understand that?”

“And why don't you understand that we’re terrible for each other? That we keep going around in circles because we know it but won’t admit that this will never work?”

All color drained from Loki’s face as he stepped back.

“Do you really believe that?” he whispered.

“I...” He watched you fumble for words for only a moment before closing the distance between you.

“No more talking.”

Fingers wove into your hair.

“No more arguing.”

A thumb caressed your cheek.

“Nothing but the sounds I adore coming from the woman I love.”

You tilted your head at the last word so that his kiss landed on your temple.

You were suddenly aware of the speed in his breathing and his gaze upon you. You swore you could hear his heart pounding within his chest, or was it your own?

“I think, your Highness, you misunderstand the meaning of that word.”

“My dear ambassador, I would gladly spend the rest of eternity showing you precisely what I believe that word to mean if you would only permit me.” Two long fingers crooked beneath your chin, lifting your face to his. “Or would you prefer to share Fandral’s bed tonight? Hmm?” Mischief flashed in his eyes. “If that is your wish, I feel I should warn you of his extensive collection of female undergarments. It makes for quite the unique decor. And, do give him time to change out of the ones he wears. He prefers not to shock his guests too badly all at once.” He grinned. “So I’m told.”

The vision of Fandral dressed only in lingerie caused you to burst into laughter.

“And what of you, lord of mischief? What tricks do you have hidden away in your rooms?” you giggled.

Loki chuckled, smiling down at you. “Shall I show you?”

Without giving you a chance to respond, he wrapped his arms around you and transported you both into his suite. You lingered a moment in his arms, the sound of his pounding heart oddly soothing in your ear. He held you a little tighter, gentle kisses landing in your hair.

“I’ve missed this,” you whispered.

“As have I, my love.”

You looked up at him, grinning. “There’s that word again.”

“Indeed,” he smirked before lowering his lips to yours. Tongues danced around each other while his hands slid down your gown. Yours tried for his hair only to be blocked by his helmet.

“Lose the armor,” you growled.

“Is that all I should lose?” Your eyebrow shot up. He grinned and closed his eyes, letting the familiar green-gold of his seider deprive him of his clothing before pulling you to the bed. “Any other requests, darling?”

“No more magic tonight. And,” you grinned, “my choice.”

Loki eyed you carefully. “What are you planning?”

His question was silenced by a finger dragged from his lips, down his body, barely brushing against the tip of his stiffening cock before traveling across his thigh. You leaned closer leaving your lips a hair’s breadth away from his.

“Are we agreed?” The hard swallow combined with the panicked desire in his eyes drew a chuckle from you. “Say yes.” A nod was all he could muster before you rewarded him with a kiss and pushed him back onto the bed. He growled when you swatted away the arms that reached for you. “Behave, or you sleep alone tonight.”

“Y/N,” he whimpered. “At least let me undress you.”

“Not yet.”

His hands slid underneath his head and you began a painfully slow course along his jawline, nipping and licking a path down his neck and chest. He hissed, hands emerging to grab your hair. You pushed them back into the bed and bit down with a warning look in your eyes. He yelped and glared in disbelief.

“I said, behave,” you grinned, blowing a soft stream of cold air over the tender nub. He shuddered and flopped backward, driving his hips - and his throbbing member -  into your stomach. You picked up the pace of placing random kisses along his chest, dragging your nails down his ribs before arriving at his pelvis.

Loki whimpered when you stood. He lifted his head as far as he dared to watch you remove the outer skirts of your gown and sink to your knees. The feeling of your hands wandering along the inside of his thighs sent his head back to the bed, his eyes closed.

“Oh, the Norns,” he moaned when your fingers ghosted up his shaft and down again, followed by your tongue, swirling around the head. He gasped when you closed your lips around him, and nearly came off the bed when you took him completely into your mouth.

You’d almost forgotten how much you enjoyed the noises he made when you drug your teeth up his length and slid back down with your tongue. You teased him for a while, alternating between teeth and tongue and taking him completely into your mouth. Moans turned to growls when he’d had enough. A hand slid its way down the arm caressing his chest and into your hair, gently guiding your lips over his cock.

Loki shuddered beneath you every time you swallowed him, humming as his hips bucked against you and his grip tightened against your scalp. You knew he was close and quickened the pace, adding your hand to every stroke. All you could hear now were whimpers and pleas to the gods, and you moved slightly to take the load you knew was inevitable.  

“STOP!” he shouted, pulling you away by your hair. You looked up to see his flushed face, pupils blown wide. “Not like this,” came in pants as his fingers eased their grip.

“Hmm, but you promised,” you purred as your tongue darted back out, catching the arousal flowing from his cock. ”My choice.”

With a growl and a single motion, Loki hoisted you to straddle him. His hands worked furiously to remove your gown while he devoured your mouth with his. Frustrated at the complexity of your garment, he broke the kiss.

“Then this is the second promise I break tonight.”

A wave of his hands left you naked above him. You gasped when his teeth clamped down on an exposed nipple, his arms lifting you just enough to angle your sex away from his. Fingers rolled your swollen clit around before they slid inside you, garnering him a whimper for his good work. He grinned as you began to grind against his hand while he nipped his way across your chest.

“Lo- Loki,” you stammered, desperately trying - and failing - to keep focused against his ministrations.

He slid into you effortlessly, growling with your moan as your body accepted him to the hilt, clamping down the moment he stopped.

“Don’t move.” you gasped, locking your arms around his waist.

“Couldn’t if I wanted to.” He took slow, deep breaths and you felt his muscles relax a bit, allowing him to shift ever so slightly.

“I said don’t...” You dug into his flesh, your entire body clenched around his. “Too close. Too soon.” you panted.

Loki grinned into your neck, nuzzling, nipping and kissing your skin until your walls tightened even more.

“Dammit, Loki.”

“Darling,” he groaned, dragging his cheek along your own, “you must relax. This isn’t going to go well for either of us if you don’t.”

“Not. Ready.”

“Oh, I think you are.” He kissed you gently, sliding an arm beneath you. “I think you’re more than ready.”

You whimpered while his fingers trailed down your hip and along your leg. He kissed you again, his roaming hand firmly gripping your ass. You loosened the vice grip on his body, creating a sigh from you both.

“Much better. Now,” he whispered, “come for me.”

You tried to resume your grasp on his hips when they started to move but found your hands caught in his.  

“Loki, please. Not yet.”

He slowed his pace, lifting his head to look at you. “The longer your release takes, my sweet, the more the ones that follow are delayed. I promise that this will be the first of many you’ll have tonight. I promise to take you in every way you desire. I promise that you will hear me cry out your name when we’re finally spent.” He leaned down, again burying himself completely, grinding his hips into yours.

“But for now, let me have you. Let me see you come undone. Let me feel your body release around me.” He pulled out to the tip and slammed back into you.

“Come.” He growled with another thrust.

“For.” Another.

“Me.”

“LOKI!” you screamed, your back arched as you sailed over the edge. He continued pumping into you until he felt the first wave of your release, slowing to draw out your ecstasy and revel in the sight of your quivering body. When your breathing settled, he rolled you both over before peppering your neck with kisses and began plunging into you again.

“I’m not done with you yet.” he purred and lifted you leg to grant better access while your hands roamed his back, nails digging in to pull him deeper. He stayed close, his breath hot on your neck between sighs. You nuzzled into his hair, drinking in the mixture of oils, soaps, and natural scent when a braid brushed across your cheek. You lifted it to eye level and smiled at the sight of a strand of your hair woven in with his.

He had kept his promise.  

“Loki,” you breathed into his ear as you tucked the braid behind it. A hum that rumbled deep in his chest spurred a new fire in your belly. “Claim me.”

He groaned, thrusting a little harder while your hands wandered back down his sides.

“Take what’s yours.”

A whimper escaped, his pace quickened and face buried in your neck. A tongue slid across your skin, bringing a moan from you both.

“Give me what’s mine.”

Loki growled and bit down on your shoulder. You relaxed your hands in response and he pulled them above your head, holding you by the wrists as he started pounding into you. He moved like a man possessed, setting a pace so frantic that all you could do was hold onto him. The room filled with the sounds of your bodies colliding, moans and whimpers echoing around you as he brought you to a second climax.

A third orgasm began building almost as soon as the second ended. He grinned and pressed his lips to yours, devouring his way along your jawline. When he found the sweet spot between your throat and shoulder, he clamped down, sucking a bright purple mark into your skin. The pain was enough to send you reeling again. Your entire body contracted around him, nails digging into his back. He roared out your name, finding his own release in spasms for what seemed an eternity.

When his body calmed, he laid down against you, shifting his weight to one side. You listened to his breathing, accented with soft sighs, slow to normal. His fingers toyed with a few strands of hair, finding the braid with a smile.

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?”

He propped himself up on an elbow, adoration in his eyes as he caressed the faded green ribbon.

“You should have this rebraided while you’re here. Maybe with a bit of gold thread mixed in.”

A smile crept across your face. “Gold is reserved for royalty, Loki.”

“Is it?” Mischief played in his eyes. “You know, you never answered my question.”

“What question? The one you asked decades ago?” He purred an affirmative and you quirked an eyebrow. “Even after all this time, the question still stands?”

“Through Ragnarok and beyond.”

“Such a poet my silvertongue is.”

Loki leaned down, resting his chin on your chest. “Not enough of one to keep you with me.” he whispered. You began to protest but were silenced by a finger on your lips. “I’m not letting you go this time. Say yes.”

The old battle between head and heart began anew while he watched. Eventually, he laid down on his side with his back facing you. You slid next to him, placing a hand on his arm.

“I love you, my prince.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You?

So here’s a neat little bit of trivia: back in the 80s, my grandmother actually had her own video store. Obviously a little indie video store wasn’t gonna survive competition from something like Blockbuster or all the other options that began popping up around the time, so she ended up closing it, and my parents ended up with a lot of the VHS tapes, which of course I ended up watching. A lot of my favorite films and movies I’m really nostalgic for came from those VHS tapes, such as Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer, InHumanoids: The Movie, and Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend - all great candidates for reviews. Frankly, not sure why I haven’t reviewed InHumanoids already… but I digress. I bring this all up because there is one specific VHS I want to talk about.

But first, let’s talk about Dr. Seuss.

Dr. Seuss, as you may know, is one of the greatest children’s authors of all time. The guy churned out classic after classic, creating timeless works featuring wondrous landscapes, fantastical locales, and colorful characters like the Lorax, the Grinch, and the Cat in the Hat. He’s also known for having extremely crappy films based off of his books, but that wasn’t always the case; back in the day, Seuss worked on animated specials based on his stuff, working with everyone from Chuck Jones to Ralph Bakshi. Dr. Seuss was truly a creative genius whose works have stood the test of time.

[Except this one]

Tonight’s work is one that is actually not based on any sort of preexisting book, and was one of those bizarre VHS tapes I watched over and over as a child. And tonight’s work is one that I’m not going to review in the traditional sense; oh no, this one is getting something special. Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You? is akin to Freddie as F.R.0.7. in my mind as something it is far more fun to just explain than to truly dissect, so instead of a true review, I am going to do a sort of recap of the plot before giving you a verdict on whether this insane special is worth your time.

So, let’s get right into this:

Pontoffel Pock, our titular hero, has a job at a pickle factory, and he has the simplest job you could possibly imagine: he pushes the lever “Pushum” and pulls on the chain “Pullum” and the pickles go into the jar (as the song helpfully informs us. Oh yeah, this is a musical. That’s somewhat important). So with such a simple job, it would be pretty inconceivable to fuck it up, right? Well, that’s because you are most likely not a colossal failure on the level of Pontoffel Pock, who SOMEHOW confuses the Pushum and Pullum and ends up destroying the entire factory, which leads to him getting fired. Did I mention this was his first day and immediately before fucking up he was explained what his job was?

[You had ONE fucking job, Pontoffel Pock]

Dejected and alone, Pock goes home and plays basketball on his roof as an homage to Clerks. Please ignore that this animation came out nearly two decades before Clerks. I would like to take a moment to point out that Pock’s house is exactly as weird and impractical a homestead as any you might see in a Seuss work - and the fact it’s a dilapidated mess because Pock can’t hold down a job only makes it even more odd. In his misery and sorrow, Pock wishes he could get away from it all… and he gets his chance, because the Amalgamated Do-Gooding Fairies come down from the heavens and grant him a magical flying piano that will take him anywhere in the world if he plays the proper notes (C, C, C, D, D#, E, for those wondering).

Gifted with this incredible magical gift, and with the entire world at his disposal, Pontoffel Pock does what any normal human being would do: he shows off and acts like a douchebag. Teleporting to Groogen, a sort of German-Switzerland mashup country, Pock freaks the locals out with his flying piano, and gets shot down by their paint cannon known as the Goomy Gun, because nothing in a Dr. Seuss work can have a normal name. Pock returns home, and naturally McGillicuddy, the head fairy, is pissed as fuck at Pock for being a douchey show-off and nearly wrecking the piano right off the bat.

[Dunno what he expected from the moron who wrecked a pickle factory]

Thankfully, McGillicuddy is a kind and merciful fairy, a bit more Seelie than Unseelie. He gives Pock one more chance, so the question now becomes: How can Pock fuck this up? Well let’s find out as he travels to Casbahmopolis, the Seuss version of the Middle East. Considering what a colossal moron Pock is, it should surprise absolutely no one that he falls in love with the first scantily clad belly dancer woman he sees; that girl is Neefa Feefa, who contrary to the previous sentence is NOT a belly dancer, but rather an… eyeball dancer. No, she doesn’t dance on eyeballs, she’s just dressed in an outfit that covers everything but her eyes. It’s kind of an amusing parody of belly dancers.

[Behold, the greatest waifu of all time]

Lucky for Pock, Neefa Feefa is the only woman in the world as stupid as him, and she immediately falls for him as well. Unfortunately, she’s stuck fucking dancing for the king, a job she hates, and she wishes she could get away from it all. To her credit, she actually has a real, genuine reason to want to get out of her current position, unlike Pontoffel “First World Problems” Pock. Pock seems to realize this, and in one of his exceedingly rare moments of badassery, singlehandedly infiltrates the palace of the king to save this girl he barely knows. Sure, it’s stupid and cliche, but so far Pock has been nothing but be a showboating weenie; here he goes Solid Snaking his way through a palace full of armed guards to save a woman, that takes some pretty big balls.

Of course, this is Pontoffel Pock we’re talking about; he manages to fuck things up somehow. The guards manage to bust the Homing Pigeon Switch of his piano, which would allow him to zap right back to the dump he calls a house, and when he tries to go somewhere else Neefa Feefa slips into the clutches of the guards and the piano goes on the fritz, leading Pock to desperately try any keys he can in an attempt to get back. At this time, the fairies are getting worried, seeing as they haven’t heard from Pock in ages, and so set out on a massive manhunt to find him, singing “Pontoffel Pock, Where the Fuck Heck Are You?” This is the part where our hero finally triumphs. Pock suddenly out of the blue remembers the proper switch and zaps back to save his imprisoned beloved, so of course… he crashes the piano into the tower.

[Pictured: A man who can do literally nothing right]

Neefa Feefa sends out a prayer, and thankfully it is heard by the fairies, who descend from the heavens and save everyone’s ass. Pontoffel Pock’s quest to get some poon seemingly impresses the boss at the pickle factory, because not only is Pock rehired, but Neefa Feefa gets hired there too, and apparently the dress codes are extremely lax there as she gets to wear her eyeball dancer outfit to work. Pock manages to get away scot free despite fucking everything up and manages to get a hot girl and a stable job, so I guess the moral of the story is “Going to great lengths to get pussy will make up for all of your constant fuckups.”

[Huh. I guess The Lorax was right]

So that was Pontoffel Pock, Where Are You? and I think it goes without saying this is one weird, quirky, and unique animated story. It’s not very long and is a bit corny and cliche, and the shortness doesn’t do much favors to the story as it leads to things feeling a bit rushed, but quite frankly it all adds to the silly, Seussy charm. The animation, the designs, and just all the wacky creativity on display here is Seuss at his best, and frankly it’s hard to hate a story of a man who fucks up his pickle factory job and gets a magical flying piano from fairies so that he can score with a belly dancer.

I really wish this was more well-known than it is. God knows this deserves it. It’s just so charmingly weird. If you like weird and silly animated things or the work of Dr. Seuss, this is something to check out, though if you’re a huge fan of the latter you may already know this. I don’t think this is really something that deserves to be held up alongside the greats like The Grinch or The Lorax, but I think it deserves an honorable 3rd place alongside those two; this is an underrated obscure gem if there ever was one.

Now I’m going to sit back and pray that this review becomes popular enough to get people to draw Neefa Feefa porn.

[Real talk: This is the only reason I wrote this review]

[howtohero]

#081 List of Handy Excuses (C)

It’s time for another installment of our highly popular list of handy excuses to use when you want to get out of doing something so you can go be a superhero (or like take a nap I guess, these excuses can be whipped out at any time, that’s how good they are) sorted in alphabetical order by job. (I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for this forever, the last one of these was over 40 posts ago. Many of you didn’t even exist 40 posts ago!)

A B D E

Cable Guy

I have to go now, I have an appointment to fix someone’s cable (bonus points if you actually did have an appointment that you’re ditching to fight crime. The more real appointments you miss the more legitimate of a cable guy you are anyway {git-r-done!}).

Caddie

Oh sorry sir looks like you were a little off the mark, I’ll go find your ball for you (and then disappear to go fight crime).

Cage Dancer

I saw on the news that a flash-mob had broken out in a zoo and that’s just relevant enough to me for me to get down there.

Cage Fighter

I saw on the news that a superhero fight had broken out in a zoo and that’s just relevant enough to me for me to get down there.

Cameraman

I’m going to try to get some video footage of those superheroes for my news agency.

I’m going to try to get some video footage of those superheroes, not for my news agency, but to sell online.

Camp Counselor

All right kids, tonight’s exciting night activity is a game called “everybody closes their eyes until you stop hearing the sounds of a giant space crab being beaten up.”

Campaign Manager

I need to go find out who those superheroes and villains are voting for. If any of those heroes are voting for my guy or if any of those space slugs are voting for the other guy it could make for a killer ad.

Candlemaker

I’m going to go begin an apprenticeship at the Safed Candle Factory so that I can truly become a master at my craft.

Honestly man, maybe you should give up the superhero business. It’s beginning to affect your candlemaking work. You’re overworked, overtired and overextending yourself. You can’t keep burning the candle at both ends.

Cantor

Allow me to dazzle these supervillains with the power of song!

Carnie

Beazye eazi’m leazeaveazing

Carpenter

I have to go star in an all carpenter version of Aladdin with musical numbers that include “Magic Carpent Ride” and “Joist Like Me”

Cartoonist

If I don’t provide my legions of fans four panels of comicy goodness they’ll riot

I Ii II I_

I just heard somebody refer to a cartoonist as somebody who makes animated cartoon and I must go correct them!

Cashier

Hey that masked bad guy just walked out of this store without paying for any of the snacks he wanted for his evil road trip, if I don’t stop him that money is going to come out of my paycheck and since he took three (3) bags of chips that’s the whole thing plus!

Catcher

I’m going to go stand behind the bad guy and call out plays for the superheroes.

I saw that there was a superhero wearing a domino-mask so I’m going to go and lend him my catcher’s mask because even that would do a better job of concealing his identity.

Catfisherman

I was catfishing this guy and it turned out that he wasn’t a regular guy but really he was a supervillain trying to catfish me and also he’s robbing a bank now so I’m going to go beat him up.

Cellist

I have to go hit the gym to build the muscle mass I need to actually lift my instrument of choice.

Remember FAO Schwarz? The toy store? With the giant piano on the floor? Yeah so I’ve been thinking a lot about that piano and… Do you think my cello would be like an in-scale violin with that piano? And I know they closed down a few years ago but that piano has to be somewhere right? Yeah so I’m going to go on an epic quest to go find it so I can see what my cello looks like next to it. (And then instead you go smack around a vampire or whatever with your cello, like a hero.)

CEO

I’m off to fly my golden helicopter to the golf course on the island that I own, nobody call me.

Honestly, CEOs mostly fight crime at night when they aren’t expected to be anywhere else so they don’t really need any excuses.

CFO

Just get fired for embezzling, then you can do whatever you want with your time.

Chairman

Just got a whole new shipment of chairs in. They’re gonna need some quality sitting in I mustn’t be disturbed for several hours. (I don’t know what chairmen do.)

Chauffeur

I have to go contemplate why “chauffer” is pronounced with an “sh” sound, if you need me I’ll be in my chateau.

I have to go sit in a car while my employer enjoys a very long, very lavish meal in a fancy restaurant. But don’t worry about me, I’ve got a bag of chips.

Cheerleader

I’m going to go spur on my favorite superheroes with the power of cheer!

Chef

I have to go contemplate why- oh, we did this one already.

Man I bet those superheroes are going to be super hungry after they fight off that inter-dimensional octoman. I’d better whip them up something that will take me a very long time to cook.

Chemist

I’m bored of this singles mixer so I’m going to go back to my lab and have a mixer of my own. (That’s when a chemist goes and mixes random chemicals together to see what’ll happen. Fun fact: several superhero origins involve this kind of mixer.)

Chess Master

If you were any good at your job you’d have set things into motion months ago to ensure that you could leave all your gatherings to fight crime. You don’t need our help.

Clarinetist

I’ve gotta go kick a sea-sponge’s ass.

Cleaner

Boy those super-folk are making quite the mess if I get down there now maybe someone’ll pay me to clean it.

Clerk

No no no, those super-people are engaging in fisticuffs in a public square without having first filled out forms 42G with the supplementary forms 2AB and 32H to account for the missile-launching mecha and the time-displaced stegosaurus.

Clockmaker

Time for justice (again you’re allowed to reveal that you’re a superhero if you can get a good pun out of it!)

Coach

This ragtag group of superheroes needs someone to whip them into shape! (Bonus points if you then actually act as a superhero mentor to that ragtag group of heroes.)

If you’re at an event with any referees you can just go yell at one of them until you get ejected, then you’re free to do whatever you want for the rest of the night.

Coal Miner

Well, I’m off to go deliver one tenth of all the coal I’ve mined this year to Santa so that he can then redistribute them to naughty children, as all coal miners do every year.

Codebreaker

All you need to is leave a coded message wherever you were supposed to be and by the time your non-codebreaker friends and family members manage to break it you’ll probably already be back (or have died saving the world from Fieron the Sentient Forest Fire).

Colorist (Comic Books)

Did you know that old-timey comic books were printed in black and white? This is an absolute travesty and I am going to single handedly go back and color every single one of them. This will require me to be unavailable for several long extended periods of time.

Colorist (Hair)

I just had this great idea to dye my hair a whole bunch of different colors. This way my own head can act as my resume and people can see how skilled I am at coloring hair. This will probably take a while, nobody need me.

Composer

Ah I wrote some music that would literally be perfect for this battle, I’ve gotta get down there and play it for them.

Comptroller

Just assign one of the many accountants that work under you the responsibility of accounting for your absence.

Computer Scientist

Just hack into whatever database or security system you need to make people think you never even left.  

Construction Worker

Not one of those superheroes are wearing a yellow hardhat and that’s just an accident waiting to happen. I must go down there and hand some out.

I need to go catcall some people.

Conductor

This super-battle is filled with senseless chaos, clearly they need someone like me to step in and bring order to it.

Cook

Do we even need to do this? We have chef listed above. (You insolent buffoon there is a world of difference between a cook and a chef!)

Man I bet those superheroes are going to be super hungry after they fight off that inter-dimensional octoman. I’d better whip them up something that will take me a very long time to cook. Longer than it would take a chef to cook as I have less experience and education in culinary matters.

Copyrighter

I have to go protect some patents (and the city!)

Copywriter

I have to go write some copy (and the city!)

Councilman

Just stand up in the middle of a council meeting and shout “this meeting is adjourned!” ten bucks says nobody fights you on that. [If we are wrong we will not send you ten bucks, or any bucks for that matter.]

Count

Has there ever been a superheroic count? I don’t think so. All the ones I know of are supervillains or blood-sucking vampires… or math-loving vampires.

Crane Operator

I have to go make sure there are some unattended cranes near that superhero fight so some scrappy kids can take control of one and knock out or distract the evil monster at a decisive moment in the battle.

Oh my gosh Karen I swear to god if you make one more joke about me operating a marsh-dwelling, long-necked bird, I am going to leave! (And then just wait for Karen to make another joke, trust me, it’ll happen, she just can’t help herself.)

Cross-Country Skier

For today’s cross-country ski I have decided to cross-country ski where no man, woman or child has cross-country skied before. In fact, if my ski-calculations are correct, no species of animal has ever cross-country skied across this country before. Yes, you guessed it, my destination for today’s cross-country ski is Antarctica, this will take me a very long time. Don’t wait up. (Of course we in the super-community know that Antarctica is one of the top-five destinations for Yeti cross-country skiers but the common-folk don’t know that so shhh.)

Cryptozoologist

Somebody finally got a good picture of El Chupacabra! I have to go and interview them! For science! (The jig is up Chupacabra, we’re coming for you!)

Curator

I have to get down to this super-battle and pick out the best pieces of rubble and dismembered robot parts to showcase in this new exhibit on superheroes/cool rocks/robot parts (you get to choose) that I am curating.

Customer Service Representative

Hey I think that superhero was in here buying a grappling hook the other day. I’m going to go see if he’s happy with his purchase. (Obviously he won’t be because grappling hooks are garbage.)

Cymbal Player

I’ve got to get to marching band practice. Without the loud, yet melodic, cacophony that my instrument produces how will my band earn the attention and envy of marching bands everywhere.

Captain Patriot lost his giant star-spangled discus! If I quickly paint my cymbals do you think he’d like to use them instead?

Tune in next time when we tackle all of the “d” occupations. As always if you know of a job that isn’t represented here by all means contact us! (Or leave a comment, or just, y’know engage with this blog somehow, please, so I know you’re out there.) And don’t hit be all like “Hey! you forgot counselor!” That’s just a fancy term for lawyer so you all have to wait like three years for us to get to “L”. In the meantime just use generic excuses like “I don’t feel comfortable with you asking me all these questions about where I’m always going. I am an adult, I should be allowed to come and go as I please,” or “I am going to take a nap.”