#and we will yell at the missed opportunities just like we do every year for the Zodiacs

[icharchivist]

Am I allowed to say that while I love Logia infinitely, I definitely prefer the masc presenting design over the femme

Not that either is inherently better or worse, it's just my personal preference

you're kinder than i am, i'm totally on the "whoever designed F!Logia i just want to talk why the fuck did you think the boob cages were a great fucking idea"

I adore the fact Logia is genderfluid and race fluid as well, i like that the m!Logia is a human and in theory that f!Logia is non-human is cool.

But it goes back to how i personally really dislike the whole idea of the differences between m/f draph to start with, i dislike how it's a cheap way to sexualize your female characters. But for the most part i kinda grit through it because well, it is what it is, and it's a gacha, they also will rely on their horny fanbase, then so be it.

In theory if the draph didn't come with the hypersexualized design i would love that f!Logia is one since the horns do really look nice on them, and echo their dragon's form, and i find that really cool.

But god the F!Logia body really irks me and the design choices added to the draph body really just are bewildering to me.

There is this desire in m!Logia's design to have them look sick, there's sorts of metal parts around the legs and arms that are supposed to be here to help them walk and move because Logia is supposed to be frail.

And i feel like on f!Logia they redirected those designs details on the boob cage and the corset and personally i really dislike it, and on the legs what was a sort of walking aid on m!Logia is just. sexy compressing boots?

Even the posture is different, m!Logia is hunching a bit forward, they're not standing straight, you really do have the feeling they're not exactly at the peak of their physical condition. f!Logia kinda redirects that on having Logia's head covered in bandage in a way that looks more messy than m!Logia, but otherwise their posture is pretty straight, and with the arms posture, it just puts her breasts and her thighs into focus, in a way that are not present at all on m!Logia.

I'm really seeing it in a Doylist VS Wastonian reasoning (Doylist = what the creators out of the universe had in mind // Wastonian = what the character's reasoning for things in universe are).

On a Doylist perspective, i find it cheap and lazy and there were better way to design the f!design. I'm glad they didn't chicken out of the concept of "since they are the personification of how the slightest details being changed in a timeline can change things drastically, then it makes sense their appearance reflect that if only by switching back and forth between different presentations, in race and gender". But i think it was the laziest possible f!Design that relied too much on sexualization, like they were scared their core women-attracted audience would tune out from the heartful parental story if they didn't make them sexy.

On a Wastonian reasoning. Look. If Orologia wants their female form to be a sexy woman with big boobs who am i to shame. i'll support my parent over any way they want to present themselves. And in the end, sure, i can find it fun that our canonically genderfluid character has such drastic different physical appearance.

But yeah. I prefer m!Logia form in general as well.

I do think that the voice work on both gender really elevate the characters by the end of it anyway and i get to care about Logia when they're in f!form too, it still gives me the impression both Logia are the same Logia, so it makes it easier.

but yeah f!Logia's design personally is something i have problem with. alas.

And my problem starts with the draph bodytype, but i love the horns, so if i was personally to work on redesigning it and keeping the draph body, i'd just personally change their clothes. Like just give them the same type of aesthetic than m!Logia rather than the bdsm gear i beg you. Momdad deserves better.

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

Trick or Treat | Bucky Barnes x Reader

This is my second Halloween fic this year because I have no self control!

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: anxiety

Sam’s Halloween bash launched into full swing, and seemed as though it would last till sunrise. Music pulsed through a set of massive speakers. Alcohol flowed. And throngs of people danced the night away.

Just as Sam instructed, everyone arrived decked out in costume. And as you scanned the crowd, you found Ghost Face doing shots with Barbie. Michael Myers grinding on Freddy Kreuger. Pennywise flirting with Beetlejuice. It was a picture perfect Halloween party- save for one thing. 

Bucky hadn’t arrived yet.

All of the partygoers formed a large, pulsating mass as they danced and celebrated, but you remained off to the side. In an empty, isolated corner, you checked and rechecked your texts. You’d already shot Bucky a few messages asking when he’d show. Asking if he was alright. And he swore he was fine. He said he’d be there soon, but that was as specific as he’d get. 

“I’m sure he’ll be here any minute!” Wanda yelled over the music. She swayed to the beat, swishing the skirt of her dress back and forth. Every few seconds, she stole a glance at the dance floor with want in her eyes. “Come on, let’s go dance!”

“I’m with Mary,” Nat downed the last of her drink and draped her arm over Wanda’s shoulders. “The Sanderson Sisters are the life of the party, we have a reputation to uphold!”

When the three of you decided to coordinate your costumes, Hocus Pocus had been the obvious choice. In the weeks leading up to Sam’s party, you helped one another piece together flawless renditions of each Sanderson Sister. Wanda decided on Mary, and Nat dressed up as Sarah, leaving you to adopt Winifred’s famous ensemble. 

And you had to admit, the three of you looked amazing. 

But you couldn’t run to the dance floor and party with abandon- not yet, anyway. Bucky said he’d be there. He swore to you that he’d make an appearance. And while a loud, overcrowded party wasn’t his favorite way to spend an evening, he knew he had to challenge himself. To expand his comfort zone. 

He wanted so badly to be “normal”. To function like a “regular” person. But he struggled. He had flashbacks. Panic attacks. Long depression spirals. And his anxiety always had the reigns. 

But he’d fought tooth and nail to vanquish his demons, and now that he was making progress and healing bit by bit, he wanted to join the ranks of "ordinary" society. 

And Sam’s party was the perfect opportunity. It was a safe, controlled environment where Bucky could stretch his comfort zone. Sure, it was loud and packed with people, but that was the whole point. If he was going to be “normal”, he had to be okay with noise and crowds; Sam’s party had both. But there was nothing for him to worry about, nothing to fear. He would perfectly and totally safe here. At least half of the attendees were fellow special agents, and you and Sam promised to stick with him all night. 

But the party started over an hour ago, and he still hadn’t shown. Worry creased your brow; it wasn’t like him to be late. 

“I think I’m just gonna hang out here for now,” you leaned against the wall and brandished your phone at them, “So I can make sure I don’t miss a call or anything.”

“You do you, sister,” Nat brushed a kiss against your cheek, “Mary and I are gonna command the dance floor.”

The two of them ran off, arm in arm, in the direction of the crowd. 

“Is he on his way?” Sam came around the corner, two drinks in hand. He extended one in your direction and sipped on the other. “I haven’t heard back.”

“I don’t know.” You took a long pull of your drink, “I asked if he was coming and he said yes, but he didn’t give me a specific ETA, or anything.”

Sam shrugged, “I think he might flake.”

That same sneaking suspicion had crossed your mind a few times over the last hour, but you refused to accept it. Surely, Bucky just needed a little extra time to prepare himself. To get in the right headspace. 

“I’m gonna- would you take this for a sec?” You handed your drink back to Sam, who swore to keep a watchful eye on it while you stepped outside to call Bucky. 

The phone rang and rang. And you feared it might go to voicemail. But at the last possible second, Bucky picked up. 

“Hey, sweetheart.” Something was off. He sounded almost nervous, like he’d been caught red-handed.

“Hey, Buck.” You kept your tone light. “Are you gonna be here soon?”

A long silence permeated the line.

“Um, yes. Yeah, I’m on my way right now,” he assured you. “Shouldn’t be much longer. I’ll see you in a bit. Okay?”

“Great." You didn't buy it for a second. "See you soon.”

For an ex-assassin with decades of stealth training and countless kills on his hands, Bucky was a terrible liar. But only when it came to you. He just couldn’t deceive his best friend, couldn’t pull the wool over your eyes. He simply didn’t have it in him; his brain and body rejected even the concept of swindling you. 

You knew for a fact that he was still at his apartment. Knew that his anxiety had won. You could practically see him sitting at home all alone, hating himself for flaking on yet another get-together. And while his closest friends danced the night away, he’d spend the entire evening berating himself. Chastising himself.

But you wouldn’t allow it. With a determined huff, you ditched the party, and set off in the direction of Bucky's apartment.

Bucky stared at the costume you’d carefully helped him assemble. It sat neatly folded on his kitchen table, all he had to do was put it on and head out the door. But he couldn’t bring himself to do so. And it infuriated him. 

He spent weeks mentally preparing himself for this. He meditated, journaled, and even sought out extra therapy sessions. But none of it worked. He was still a slave to his anxiety, bending to every whim of the monsters in his head.

The whole thing was so stupid- it was just a party. He knew, logically, that there was nothing to fear. But part of his brain, the part that hated him, told him it would be too much. That he’d immediately get overwhelmed by the noise and the people and the lights. That it was a panic attack waiting to happen. 

He feared what onlookers might think, what they might say, if he broke down in the middle of the festivities. And he didn’t want to chance ruining Sam’s party.

And so, he’d lied to you. He wasn’t proud of it, but it was for the best. He just wanted you to have a good time. Wanted you to spend the night dancing with Nat and Wanda instead of worrying about him. It was better this way. 

A sharp knock jolted him from his seat on the couch. He crossed to the front door and pulled it open, expecting to see a group of candy-obsessed kids in costumes. But he found something else, entirely.

“Trick or treat!” You held a bottle of whiskey and a bag of candy proudly in the air, “Happy Halloween, Buck.”

Bucky took on a deer in the headlights kind of look. He was shocked, completely frozen. And as the surprise melted away, he found himself awash in strange mix of anxiety and guilt. You’d caught him in his lie; you’d found him out. And with you standing on his doorstep, he had nowhere to run. 

“Sweetheart, hey. Hi. Um, Happy- Yeah, Happy Halloween.” He tripped over himself again and again, his heart racing. “I was just about to call you and-”

“It’s okay, Buck. You’re not in trouble,” you shot him a wink. “I know parties aren’t really your thing.”

He gestured for you to come in and you happily accepted, sweeping past him in your elaborate costume. But he was so bewildered, so overwhelmed, that he left the door wide open.

“What are you doing here?” Quickly, he clarified, “Not that I don’t want you here. I just mean- why aren’t you at the party?”

“Cause I came to hang out with you!” You shrugged, “Plus, there’s no point in me going if you’re not there.”

Bucky appreciated your loyalty, your dedication to him. But he couldn’t let you sit on the sidelines with him.

“That’s sweet of you, and I’m more than happy to have you here, but I know you’ve been looking forward to the party and your costume and everything. And I don’t want to ruin your Halloween.” He leaned against his open door, “So, it won’t hurt my feelings if you-”

“My Halloween will only be ruined if we don’t hang out. So, come on,” once again, you held up the candy and alcohol, “trick or treat, Buck.”

With a stubborn smile, Bucky shut the door. He watched you struggle with the bag of candy and laughed as you used your teeth to tear through the plastic.

“You know, I think you’re doing the whole ‘trick or treat’ thing backwards,” he said as he fished a Twix out of the bag. “Cause you brought candy instead of taking some from me.”

“Or maybe I’m a Halloween pioneer, and I’m inventing new traditions,” you offered. “Now, let’s crack this open.”

Bucky gladly took the bottle of whiskey from you and led you to the kitchen. He crafted old fashioneds for the both of you and clinked his glass with yours. His night had taken a very sharp, very sudden upswing, and he was more than grateful.

“I saw some kiddos trick or treating down the hall, and at least four of them were dressed up like Sam,” you laughed. “Have they been here yet?”

You eyed the large bowl of candy sitting by the front door. It was still full, nearly overflowing with sugary treats. And you realized: it was completely untouched. No greedy little hands had dug through it yet. No mischievous kids had snatched a handful or two. It just sat there, waiting. 

It was sweet of Bucky to be prepared, to buy treats for the kids in the area. He was trying so hard to connect with people. To be a member of society. He wanted so badly to be seen as a person. But the world only saw him for his past. 

“Um, no, I haven’t had any trick or treaters,” Bucky said, “Well, except for you.”

You shot him a wink a took a drag of your drink.

“But I’ve heard them- they’ve been running up and down my hall all night. I just don’t think…” He clinked his metal fingers against his glass, “I don’t think any of the parents in my building want their kids knocking on my door.”

His shoulders slumped forward ever so slightly, and his head fell an inch or two. Saying it out loud was humiliating. He’d thought- he’d hoped- that the city would embrace him. That they’d celebrate his return. But the only welcome he’d received was dirty looks and people spitting at him on the subway.

Bucky’s words knocked the air from your chest. A combination of heartbreak and unbridled rage swirled inside of you; it was all so unfair. Bucky didn’t deserve to be treated like a pariah or a threat. He was least intimidating, most approachable person you’d ever met. Sure, he was a little shy. But he was so warm. So kind. He genuinely cared about people. He wanted to help his community and make people feel safe. But they refused to give him a chance.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you took his hand in yours, “More candy for us.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes and pulled you in for a long, much needed hug. He would never be able to express how much he appreciated your undying support. Your unconditional friendship. He knew without a doubt that he could always count on you. And after living in an unpredictable, erratic state of limbo for so many years, he cherished your consistency.

Bucky dug through the candy you brought, searching for a Snickers. “I know it’s selfish, but I’m really glad you came over.” He abandoned his candy hunt and brought his gaze up to yours, “Seriously. Thanks for being here.”

“Anytime, Buck. You know that.” You tucked the bag of candy under your arm and snatched your glass from the counter, “Come on, let’s watch a scary movie.”

Bucky followed your lead, only straying from the path for a moment or two. And when he returned, he brandished his overflowing bowl of candy in your direction. “I mean, if the kids aren’t gonna eat it…”

He sank into the couch next to you and took a swig of his drink as he watched you dig through the massive bowl of candy. A bit of guilt gnawed at him; he’d been so surprised to see you at his door that he hadn’t taken the time to appreciate all the hard work you’d put into your costume. And as you picked through his candy stash, he drank in the details of your ensemble: the perfectly crafted make up, the ornate dress, the complicated hairstyle. It was impressive, to say the least.

“Your costume is fucking incredible, by the way. You did an amazing job.”

“Oh, thanks!” A proud smile stretched across your face, “If it wasn’t so ridiculously uncomfortable, I’d probably wear it every day. But this corset is…” You pinched and pulled at the tight garment, “Definitely not intended for daily wear.”

“Then let me get you something to more comfortable.” Bucky was up in the blink of an eye, and before you could protest, he was gone. 

In the time it took you to locate and unwrap a Kit Kat, he’d arrived in the living room with a change of clothes for you. It was just a pair of sweatpants and a faded t-shirt with BROOKLYN emblazoned on the front, but after spending hours in an uncomfortable corset, you swore he was offering you a slice of heaven. 

With greedy hands, you accepted the clothes, “You’re a life saver!”

You sped off down the hall, promising to be back in a flash.

Bucky scrolled through the scary movies Netflix had to offer, but didn’t pay much attention. He couldn’t believe his luck. He’d planned on spending the night all by himself. He figured he’d oscillate between sulking and self-flagellation until he finally fell asleep. But you’d saved him, as you so often did.

“Seriously, I can’t thank you enough for the clothes. Now, I can actually breathe.” You plopped down on the couch next to Bucky, “Okay, what do you wanna watch?”

Bucky scrolled through a few more movies, “I don’t know, I haven’t heard of most of these. I thought I’d defer to you.”

You motioned for him to continue scrolling and gave him a little synopsis each time one of your favorites popped up on the screen.

He listened closely and took your summaries into careful consideration. And after hemming and hawing over his options, he found himself torn. “This is tough, but I’m thinking we go with It Follows or Evil Dead.”

“Both excellent choices!” You clinked your glass against his, “Let’s do It Follows first, and then if we want to watch another, we can follow up with Evil Dead.”

“Deal.” 

Bucky scrolled back a page or two and selected It Follows. The movie’s opening scene began, showcasing a quiet, suburban street. You tucked yourself closer into Bucky’s side and tore into a package of M&Ms, preparing to be scared. 

But after only a minute or so, Bucky paused the movie.

He turned to you, “Hey, I’m sorry about the party.”

“Buck, we talked about this. I’d rather hang out with you than-”

“No, I mean, I’m sorry I bailed.” He pulled his gaze from your face and placed it on the ice melting in his drink. “My anxiety kind got the best of me. And I-” He locked eyes with you, “I swear I tried. I wanted to go. But I just… I couldn’t do it.” His sudden eye roll caught you off guard, “The whole thing is so ridiculous, it was just a party, but even thinking about going made my hands shake.”

“It’s not ridiculous. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still trying to wade through all the shit Hydra saddled you with.” You gave his hand a squeeze, “Healing takes time. And it’s not a linear process. You’re gonna have ups and downs- that’s perfectly normal.”

All he could manage was a sigh. 

“Like you said, it was just a party. Nothing major. So, who cares if you bailed? All that matters is that you made the right choice for you.”

“I guess.” He carded a hand through his hair, “I just want to be done with it all, you know? I want to be able to do things that normal people do.”

“I know. But, you have to give yourself some grace, okay?” You brushed a gentle hand over his cheek, “And you need to be patient. Cause there’s no skipping to the end with this stuff.”

He nodded, “Yeah.”

“So, cut yourself some slack, okay?” You nudged his shoulder with yours, “No one is more deserving of slack than you.”

“I don’t know about that-”

“If the roles were reversed,” you posited, “And I’d been through all of the trauma and abuse that you went through, would you be upset with me if I couldn’t do certain things because of my anxiety ?”

“No,” he gave a fervent shake of his head. “Never.”

“And would you want me to be kind to myself?”

Without pause, an “of course” fell from his lips.

“Okay, then you need to extend that same kindness and understanding to yourself.”

“But I just want to be able to do stuff with you,” he huffed. “I want to go to parties with you. And concerts. And-”

“Hey, all that will come with time, okay? There’s no rush.” Once again, you gave his hand a squeeze, “You’re my best friend, and I just wanna hang out with you. So, it doesn’t matter what we do. As long as you’re comfortable, I’m happy.”

Bucky eyed you for a second, “You mean that?”

You nodded, “I swear on my life.”

An awkward smile crossed his face, “Then I guess I should tell you that I’m not- I really don’t want to watch a scary movie.”

“Oh, shit. My bad, Buck. We can watch anything you want,” you said, “You pick.”

With a few taps of the remote, Bucky opened an entirely different streaming service and selected a safe movie free of actual scares. 

“It’s still on theme with Halloween,” he promised, “But at least it’s not gonna give me more nightmares.”

“Yeah, whatever you want, I don’t-” The opening lines of Hocus Pocus filled the room, and you delivered a playful punch to Bucky’s arm.

He let out a loud laugh, “I had to, sweetheart. You’ve still got the make up on and everything.”

You pelted him with a few M&Ms before settling close to him. He draped an arm across your shoulders and pulled you tight, relishing in your warmth. He was so lucky to have you as his friend, so lucky to know you. He couldn’t believe you’d ditched the party you’d looked forward to for weeks- all for him. Couldn’t believe that you were spending your favorite holiday unceremoniously watching movies on his couch. 

But he knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. After everything he’d gone through, he was just grateful that he’d befriended someone with such a kind heart. And as he settled in to experience Hocus Pocus for the first time, he started plotting how he’d make things up to you next Halloween. 

———————————————

@beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @mandersshow @breakablebarnes @psychoticmason @glxwingrxse @lonewolf471 @purpleshallot @seitmai @itvy5601 @dailyreverie @navs-bhat @eviesaurusrex @themorningsunshine @buckys-metal-arm @broadwaybabe18 @the-kestrels-feather @avocadotoastwithegg @goldylions @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @vrittivsanghavi @idkitsem @avengetheunnatural @rassvetsky @hereforbuckyandsteve @juvellian @samanthacookieone @frombkjar @blackbirdsinatrenchcoat @anything-more-than-human

[ineedtherapydesperately]

desperately wanna write a childhood friends to lovers au w chloe and red in the timeline where bridget never goes evil and is still besties w ella

like imagine all the hangouts and sleepovers they have, crying and whining when they have to be separated because red, dear, we really must return home or chloe, love, we've been in wonderland for a week already

imagine little chloe bursting into her parents' bedroom declaring that she'll always be red's knight in shining armour, because every princess, especially a crown princess, needs a knight to protect her and ella and christopher just KNOWING that chloe is gonna stay by red's side forever and ever

so they start planning the wedding with bridget, thrilled to have the opportunity to bring their families even closer together. they're gonna be in laws! a family, just like they've always dreamed.

imagine little red telling her mum that chloe has a really pretty smile and really pretty eyes, and it makes her happy to see chloe happy, and that chloe is the bestest friend in the whole wide world and bridget has to stop herself from squealing and pinching red's adorably flushed cheeks, because her daughter was so in love already, even if it was just puppy love. that doesn't stop her from screaming gleefully into her pillow later that night tho

imagine them growing up together, attached at the hip, never straying from the other's side. imagine them going to auradon together, everyone already knowing that red and chloe, chloe and red, are a package deal. you can't get one without the other, a known fact since the duo were old enough to travel through the rabbit hole on their own

imagine chad walking in on them cuddling, watching a movie and cooing at them, snapping pictures on his phone before they notice him, yelling at him to leave them alone. alright, alright, I'll leave you lovebirds alone and red flushes in mortification and shut the fuck up chad, we're completely platonic and you know this because little miss goody-goody would definitely be rougher around the edges, growing up with red, and she'd definitely cuss up a storm at chad, but she loves him, she swears, just maybe not as much as she loves red

imagine them going through all the motions of a romantic relationship, cuddles, cheek kisses, hand holding, cute dates and all that, but insisting that it's just platonic, and that's how they've always been because they're best friends and their parents are so very done with them, just praying for them to get together, and chad has even started a betting pool for when they'll realise they love each other. he thinks it'll take them until at least their second year at auradon prep - at least, it'll take chloe that long

imagine chloe and red having matching lock screens, and having each other set as their home screens as well. imagine red baking chloe anything she asks for, like peppermint cookies and flamingo feather cupcakes and blueberry muffins, because chloe, her princess, her knight, has a raging sweet tooth that red can't help but indulge every time. imagine chloe taking red on ice cream dates, because red LOVES ice cream, and refusing to let her pay for it because red was a princess and deserved only the best treatment, thank you very much and red has to point out that chloe, you're a princess too. but, red, you're the crown princess and im your loyal knight <3

imagine red finally realising her feelings and ranting at the council of parents because holy shit aunt ella, your daughter is so dense?? and christopher can't help but cringe because he knows exactly who chloe got that trait from and he's like I'm sorry but while we charmings are quite, charming, we're also quite oblivious, especially to matters of the heart and bridget can't stop laughing because darling, you may need to hit her with glass shoes for her to figure it out, which makes ella blush because that's exactly what she had to do that night at castlecoming

god I have so many feels about this I am totally normal about glassheart. final part absolutely inspired by @strugglingsapphic's recent post bc I love the idea of oblivious chloe not knowing shit

[sinkovia]

Riley

Simon “Ghost” Riley x GN!Reader

Angst

As you stood in the presence of Ghost, your boyfriend who had been missing for a year and two months, a heavy sense of disbelief washed over you.

"Ghost?" you gasped, your eyes widening as you stared at the man standing before you in the rain. His once warm and gentle gaze now appeared distant and cold, his grip on the combat knife, a gift you had given him two years ago, seemed unnaturally tight.

"Simon, it's me!" you yelled, trying to get through to him, but the look in his eyes was chilling. It was as if he didn't recognize you at all. The man you had loved, who had become your partner in life, now looked at you like you were a complete stranger. In his silence, he lunged at you with the knife, and you realized with a sinking feeling that something was terribly wrong. It was as though he had been brainwashed, transformed into a weapon, a threat that couldn't be reasoned with.

Trying to reach him, you spoke softly but with determination, "Simon, it's me. Do you remember? It's Y/n. You know me!"

But he remained unresponsive, his eyes locked onto you with a deadly intensity. He lunged at you with the knife, aiming to strike, and you managed to parry the attack, your years of training and reflexes kicking in.

You continued, your voice pleading as you tried to break through to him, "Remember, all those missions we went on together, the late-nights in the rec room, all of soaps shitty jokes?!"

Each swing of his knife was met with your skillful deflection, but it was clear that he had been brainwashed. He wouldn't stop until he struck you down.

"Simon, please!", your heart aching as you dodged and blocked his attacks. "Think about everything we've been through, all the memories we've created. I'm not your enemy. Please remember who I am!"

But there was no sign of recognition in his eyes, only a relentless determination to eliminate the perceived threat. You were in a battle against the very person you had missed so dearly, and all you could do was hope that some part of the real Simon remained within. The battle continued and you desperately parried Ghost's relentless attacks. You kept yelling at him, trying to get through to him. You had managed to hold your own against him, deflecting every strike he sent your way. Your balance faltered when you stepped in a puddle of mud, and Ghost seized the opportunity to strike. His combat knife found its mark.

The blade cut into your arm, a searing pain shooting through your body. You hissed as you tried to regain your footing, but it was too late. Ghost's knife plunged deep into your stomach. The irony of the situation didn't escape you; you had given him that very knife as a gift, and now it was embedded in your abdomen. He ripped the knife out of your stomach and raised it again, his next target, your chest. Your teary eyes went to his and in one final attempt to get through to him the word spilled from your bloody lips as his knife was stabbed deep in your chest.

"Riley"

Only you had called him this, whenever you were lecturing him, nagging him about something, you had always called him by his last name. It seemed to break through the fog that had clouded his mind. His eyes, once cold and distant, softened as he gazed at your face, and a flicker of recognition danced in his eyes. You smile knowing you finally got through to him.

As he took in your injured state, his gaze dropped to the knife he held, buried deep in your chest. Horror washed over his face as he realized what he just did. Your knees buck and you fall to the ground, bringing him with you. With tears in his eyes, he pulled you close, cradling you in his arms, the blood from your chest staining his clothes and mingling with the rain-soaked ground.

You were dead before you hit the ground.

"Love?" He pulled you closer to him, holding your lifeless body against his chest, his tears falling freely as he begged, his voice trembling with desperation.

"Y/n? Look at me," he pleaded, his voice shaking.

"Look at me, love. Baby please, please just look at me." his voice broke as he continued, unable to accept the reality.

"I'm so sorry."

He tightly clung to your body but your lifeless eyes remained far away, and you were gone, lost forever to a world where his words couldn't reach you.

[pynkgothicka]

ＤＥＡＴＨ ＪＪＫ

Synopsis - After your husband passes, your therapist gives you a new opportunity to be with him. (Part one of The Monster Series.)

Pairing - Yandere! Dark! Android! Jeon Jungkook x Widower! Fem! Reader

Featuring - Steven Yuen

Tags and Warnings - Violence, Death, Yelling

Authors Note - One down 5 more to go

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

“Ma'am, he's not coming back.”

You stared in shock at the body on the side of the road. Your husband was laying dead a bullet wound in his chest and you couldn't do anything about it.

“Kook…. No…. Kook….”

The cop there had to physically drag you away. You crying and sobbing as you watched him get dragged away.

But that was a long time ago.

Sitting down in your therapists office had you in a daze, your mind on a constant loop of that night. Hands covering your tear stained eyes. “Miss Jeon, his death was over a year ago. Yet you can't seem to get past it. Why is that?” Your therapist commented as she sat in the chair in front of you.

“I miss him, he was my life. Jeon Jungkook was my everything.” You said looking down at your lap. “I sit in the house he saved up to buy for us and I'm just surrounded by him.”

“He was taken when you needed him most…”

“You know this… Why are you asking me this?” You say looking at her with a aggravated look on your face.

Your therapist let out a sigh before reaching into her desk. He then handed you a card. On the front read DEATH.

Deceased

Electric

Android

Therapeutic

Humanoid

“Take it. You need it. Call the number on the back and they'll set everything up.”

🤖

That's what led you to sitting in a random office. You came about 30 minutes before after setting up a appointment.

The entire building had this futuristic build to it. Every light had a light neon blue glow to them. And almost everything was automated through technology. Outside the large glass window and saw all sorts of people with androids in general. It was kind of creepy yet sad knowing what the company was for.

“Hello Mrs. Jeon. I heard about your situation.” You were pulled out of your gaze as a man in a sleek white lab coat walked in. His name tag read, Lead Scientist Mr. Yuen. “It's quiet, sad really. Having your husband taken from you at such a crucial part of the relationship.” He walked to sit behind the desk in front of you.

“Yes, so… what exactly do you guys do?” You ask trying to pull away from the topic of your husbands demise.

“Well,” He pulls out a hard drive, written on the front in sharpie the letters JJK. “This is your husband's entire consciousness. We'd gotten access to your husband's brain. Your lucky he was a organ donor.”

You could feel tears prick your eyes. Your husband was right there.

He was so close.

“We take this and put it into a android. That android is as close to a human as we could get it. Even the skin feels realistic. Height, weight, even a replica of all that junk down there. Practically a one to one ratio.” Mr. Yuen chuckles. “And this will cost nothing as our company is pretty new. We really just need people to say what we offer works.”

You were desperate. You do care anymore, it was something. You nodded as Mr Yuen smiled and placed a stack of paperwork in front of you. “He'll be ready for you in a few hours.”

🤖

You sat in a lounge area waiting patiently. You looked mindlessly through a magazine, trying to be as level headed as possible.

“Mrs Jeon!”

Your head shot up at the sound of your name being called. It took you a bit to stand up but when you did you were in shock.

There he stood.

The love of your life.

Jeon Jungkook.

“Baby?”

His voice sounded exactly the same. It was him. Your mind was clouded at being reunited with him, and all you could do was cry and run towards him. You hugged him, and you could feel him hug you back. His strength showed as he nearly crushed you.

“Okay okay you have to let go!” You said giggling. Jungkook did, him looking at you with nothing but love and adoration. You looked at the side of his forehead seeing a blue ring of light.

It reminded you of what this actually was. And how this wasn't actually him…

“It doesn't have to be there…” Jungkook said looking at your eyes on the led light. You watched in bewilderment as his skin tone covered the blue circular ring. “Is that better?”

You nod mindlessly as you take Jungkooks cheeks in your hands to kiss him.

It was quick but needed.

Even his lips were just as soft as Jungkooks.

Mr. Yuen stood off to the side and when he felt it was needed walked up to you to shake your hand.

“It was a pleasure doing business with you Mrs Jeon. If you have any issues please do call.”

🤖

Things started to go wrong almost a week into bringing him home. You were seated on the couch with him, going through a old photo album. You were pointing out memories the both of you had, trying to see if he had the memories of your lost love.

And he was struggling.

“Kook, baby… you don't remember this?” You said pointing towards your first date. He'd taken you to go to a book store. But He just stared at it trying to process what he saw but he just couldn't.

“I'm sorry. I can't… I don't remember.” Jungkook said putting his head into his hands. “I-I’m so sorry.” It sounded as if he was crying, which was something you didn't even know he could do. Then again he is supposed to be the closest thing to a human.

With a shakey hand you patted his back trying to comfort him. Then your wrapped your arms around him, kissing the side of his face. “It's okay. Trust me we'll get through this one step at a time. I should be apologizing, I tried forcing way too much onto you.” You say kissing the top of his head once again.

“I don't get it… I don't fucking get it.” He growled the grip on his head getting harsher. He then reeled his head back and slammed it into the coffee table. You quickly grab his shoulders to pull him back.

“Kook! Kook! Stop!” You yelled as he struggled against you, trying to punish himself. He then seemingly stopped, artificial tears cascading down his face.

“What happened…?” He asked looking at you with those same soft eyes you fell for.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

🤖

You spend about a month with your new android husband, his mood changes still existing. But you looked past them, and instead just tried to work with him.

Like now you two were on a date and Jungkook was a gentleman and his usual playful self.

“Honestly I like eating. It's something about all those textures in your mouth that just make the experience!” Jungkook stated describing eating as if it was the best thing in the world. But all you could do was laugh at his antics. You wish you had that much joy for living.

Jungkook stared at you dumbfounded. “What's so funny?” He said beginning to laugh with you.

“Your just, so amused by seemingly little things. It's kind of funny.” You reply smiling. This was almost reminiscent of how you and your actual husband were. That was until the waiter cam around for about the 5th time that night. Jungkook would get more angry by the minute anytime he was around. Like now, as Jungkook stopped laughing and side eyed the waiter as he passed the drinks. As soon as he left you spoke up, “Kook, baby you have to calm down.”

“I'm calm. He just needs to leave us alone.” He seethes under his breath.

Then the waiter returns.

And Jungkook shoots up, grabs his arm and begins to yell at him. “Leave us the fuck alone!” People gasp as the waiter groans out. “Man you're bruising me!” The waiter says trying to prey Jungkook off. You get up and grab his shoulder.

“Let go! Let go now!” You yell and Jungkook almost immediately retracts his grasp. Your left embarrassed, and finally state that this is the last straw as you leave in a hurry.

🤖

“Hi I was told to call this number if I something was wrong with my product.” You stood outside on the porch of your house.

“Ma'am. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do.” The receptionist replies. Your face furrows as you raise your voice.

“What? There's obviously something wrong, my husband has never acted this way. I need to talk Dr Yuen. Please!” You practically begged.

“Ma'am. DEATH company has ceased to exist. Too many bugs, and you seem to have one. I say either get rid of the product or live with it. Good day.” Then the phone hangs up.

The first option was out of the question.

You couldn't see him die again.

But you didn't know how much longer you could live with the android. His mood swings become more and more drastic every day.

With a heavy head and heart you walked back in, bumping into Jungkooks hard chest.

“You think something is wrong with me.” He said solemnly.

“Kook baby, no… you're just… I think….” You couldn't even muster up a excuse for him. “It's just that… your not… my husband…”

You tried to walk past him but he moved in your way. “I'm not? Then why do I have all these thoughts? Why do I consistently feel plagued by him?” He spat at you. You moved to one side and quickly went the other way around him. “My mind is filled with you! His thoughts about you … I'm him!”

“Calm down… Please! I'm- I didn't mean what I said!” You beg putting your hands up as a act of defense. Jungkook seethed grabbing at his hair. He moved it forcibly.

“Is it this?” He yelled showing the led ring on the side of his skull. “Is it the fact that your “husband” wasn't a robotic freak!” You quickly love your footing falling onto the carpet. You felt a sharp pain in your arm as your forced to drag yourself away.

In fear, you watched as Jungkook took to a nearby mirror throwing it to the ground. You screamed as glass shot near him everywhere. He picked up a sizeable piece and took it to the side of his head. “I can change… I will change…” He then began to cut at the piece, all the while stepping towards you. He yanked it out throwing the circle to the side.

Jungkook now stood over you.

“Am I like him now? Am I your perfect husband….” He taunted. You shake your head no as you cried beneath his form. He just smiled. “Your lying… and in denial. Look at that arm… you broke it. All because you tried to get away from me.”

“Your…. you're not my husband. Your a monster.” You said with finality. The pain in your arm made your vision spotty.

“No baby… I'm your love. And I'm not leaving anytime soon.”

Let me know through a dm or ask to be included in my official Taglist- @darkuni63

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Bonus Poll!

The winner of the poly ship bracket vs the most popular (and honestly, only) Buggy ship of the duo bracket!

Propaganda under the cut. [contains some spoilers]

Propaganda for Cross Guild:

Idk there's something about three people who hate each other that just works.

they don't need no propaganda. I could never make propaganda like buggy the clown does in canon

mr. pathetic (buggy) paired with two actual warlords who could (but haven't !) demolished him ? it has to be love

Crocodile and Mihawk are a fucked up rich ass couple and Buggy is the chihuahua in their purse

CROSSGUILDCROSSGUILD XXX

Its cross guild. you know why (mod: as an anime-only fan, I don't, but I'm looking forward to find out 😂)

Propaganda for Shanks x Buggy:

What if we were childhood friends who gave up our drama for each other then never saw each other again for years

What can I say, I'm a fellow shuggy truther too 🤝

Shanks obviously adores Buggy, and Buggy is so tsundure~! Mr 'I hate Shanks'-but-will-take-every-opportunity-to-talk-about-him-and-be-with-him.

Oden says in his journal that he can't tell if they're friends of enemies, and I just love that. Plus when you add in the revelation about Shanks and Buggy in the recent chapters.

They're childhood friends. They're exes. They've been married for 20 years. They're opposites. They're the same. They're silly goofy guys who make me want to cry my heart out. Red/Blue is always meant to be.

Buggy """""HATES""""" Shanks. This hate is so strong that he WILL yell at this red-haired bastard despite the fact that he is a coward, who is terrified of all the Emperors. Everyone thinks this is strange. However, when you grow up with said Emperor on the same boat, watching him stumble over his feet as he's trying to learn to use a sword, stuck scrubbing the whole deck because he was stupid enough to prank "Dark King" Rayleigh, and make that same stupid pouty face every time his Conqueror's Haki doesn't do anything because he is an itty bitty child, most of that fear gets pretty quelled. Also, that same fucker lost an arm because he's a DUMBASS and he deserves to be made fun of for it (not because Buggy is worried and missed him not at all no no Shanks is just DUMB and needs to be TOLD he is dumb more. But just by Buggy. Because Buggy has known his idiocy forever. He has earned the right to yell at this stupid, stupid Emperor for being a self-sacrificing fool and for giving away that stupid hat and... Wait, hang on, when did this bastard get hot!? WHAT THE FUC-) And Shanks just keeps smiling at Buggy and his antics because he has 100% been in love with him since they were children (his actions while they were on the Roger pirates are the DEFINITION of pigtail-pulling as flirting) and he is just happy to see that he's safe while being exactly the same larger-than-life clown he always knew. He would gladly give up his life of sluttery (that I am convinced this man has. Just look at how he exists) if Buggy would just agree to join his crew, but will not push him if he doesn't want to. He just loves his pretty clown from a distance and waits. TLDR: Buggy is mad that he's in love with Shanks and Shanks just likes existing with and/or annoying Buggy (they come as a pair). GOD I just love childhood friends to lovers bro. Just let the cabin boys kiss.

[Spoiler Warning] Red and Blue gays! Emperor husbands! Childhood friends to enemies to lovers!

[rosenotactuallyquartz]

Here is a Pearlrose question that I find tricky. Why do you think Garnet seemed to not care that Pearl was upset but helped Greg in We Need To Talk? I've had people tell me that she was purposefully pulling Rose away from Pearl because she believed they were so unhealthy together (1)

(the asker goes on to say: “But I preffer the opposite take: that Garnet was actually so clear on Rose's love for Pearl that she did NOT actually realize Pearl was doubting It/ insecure. To her Greg and Rose becoming closer would just add to Rose's life, she had no idea Pearl could feel replaced because It was obvious to her that that was not the case)

oh i know exactly what you’re talking about, i’ve seen this before. i can’t wait to talk about it !

—

how garnet felt about rose’s bond with pearl

first off, i think it’s incredibly important to understand how garnet perceived rose.

“We never questioned ourselves, or her!” — Sapphire, Now We’re Only Falling Apart

“She had to. The Earth belonged to Pink Diamond. Destroying her was the only way to save the planet. For Amethyst to be herself, for Pearl to be free, for me to be together. For you to exist.” — Garnet, Bubbled

during the war, there were two opportunities in which rose could have harmed her. instead she accepted her; she helped her start a new life on earth with the other crystal gems.

of course she trusted all of rose’s choices—not only did she meet her as a leader, protecting garnet was the first choice that garnet ever saw rose make. she also witnessed rose make this decision within the first few seconds of garnet’s existence.

considering that garnet trusted rose and every choice she made (and everything she did during a war) garnet would absolutely trust rose to make her own decisions about her personal, intimate relationships thousands of years later.

sapphire confirms that garnet never questioned rose at all throughout the time she knew her. she felt comfortable as herself and she trusted that, if rose had a problem, especially a personal problem, she would handle that.

garnet was also aware of the fact that there was a lot she didn’t know about their relationship.

“And there they were: Rose Quartz, the leader of the rebellion, and her terrifying renegade Pearl.” — Garnet, The Answer.

during the war, pearl was rose’s second-in-command and confidant. considering that only pearl knew rose was pink diamond, and she hadn’t been rose for long, they definitely had periods of time where they’d disappear for awhile.

in rose’s scabbard, we discovered that rose had a secret armory location that only pearl knew about. later on, when she found out about rose’s lion and garnet mentioned that “rose kept many secrets, even from us” (which could have very well meant her & amethyst) she didn’t hesitate or protest when pearl replied with, “but not from me.” when amethyst yelled, “you’re not the only one who misses her!” that was the only moment where garnet looked taken aback.

garnet would never try to pull two of her friends away from each other, especially knowing that they kept a lot of things private.

since they did—she would also understand that any issues that they had, they’d most likely be solving on their own and behind closed doors.

there was no logical reason for her to judge the relationship, or believe another relationship is “better.”

garnet was also able to see pearl + rose for what they always believed in; what their dynamic was all about. they were always rebels, they didn’t see gems or life on earth the way that homeworld did.

(she likely heard rose refer to pearl as “my pearl” a few times throughout the war and later on as they lived together. i think that early on, garnet had a positive impression of the relationship)

garnet also related to pearl and rose’s relationship. a lot.

“That’s just how I felt when I came here with Ruby.” — Sapphire, Now We’re Only Falling Apart.

in homeworld, sapphire was described as being a “rare, aristocratic” gem. rubies were considered inferior and they are “for” the sapphires, to protect them.

however, when ruby accidentally bumped into sapphire, she spoke to ruby with respect and warmth. she was different from homeworld; she thought differently. she also made small talk, and the first thing ruby learned about sapphire as an individual was that she wished she could see more of the earth.

on the battlefield, ruby and sapphire ended up being the last two out of the group they originally had. sapphire was about to be harmed, but ruby saved her at the very last moment.

she prioritized protecting sapphire over logic, over consequence, over her own life.

so, of course, garnet understood pearl.

“Back during the war, Pearl took pride in risking her destruction for another. She put Rose Quartz over everything: Over logic, over consequence, over her own life.” — Sworn to the Sword

at a time when ruby didn’t expect to escape from homeworld, sapphire ran away and took ruby with her. she was able to explore the earth just like she wanted to, and she did this with ruby.

meanwhile, pearl and rose nearly fused for the first time and had a conversation about their feelings for each other. while sapphire had a moment where she was frozen, rose was frozen in her own way, too.

everything was very new to her, and even a bit overwhelming, in a positive way. homeworld had rules on how to interact with each gem and what to feel. on earth, rose found that she was completely in awe of pearl. she admired her, she would blush because of her. pearl would argue with rose (a diamond) because she wanted to protect her in every way that she could, even when rose told her not to because she cared about pearl. they saw each other as unique, flawed individuals and it felt so natural and right.

so, why question it? the only reason it’s perplexing is because of homeworld’s guilting and disapproval.

“Please don’t ever stop!” — Rose, Now We’re Only Falling Apart

“Don’t ever question this.” — Rose, The Answer

ruby and sapphire’s fusion helped pearl and rose, and their conversation helped garnet.

many fans might claim that garnet would try to pull pearl and rose apart because of unhealthy “obsession/dependency” on pearl’s part, but what they don’t realize is that this perception of pearl often comes from her behavior in the timeline with steven.

you know, in her early stages of grief. less than fourteen years is nothing compared to the 6,000+ years that pearl loved her. often what people perceive as obsessive behavior is pearl being fixated on the, in a gem sense, devastating loss of the love of her life.

(& not because she’s a pearl, or her original dynamic with rose. they were both against the beliefs of homeworld and their love only started when they were in a safe environment to genuinely fall in love with each other. because she watched the mistreatment and abuse that rose faced from the other diamonds, then they escaped together. she watched rose almost get killed or be in serious danger on the battlefield, but she managed to save her countless times. she watched rose struggle with trauma and mental health, and only she could fully understand why. she survived so much with her and they had each other, but she still ultimately lost her.)

obviously pearl would appear to be more obsessive when she is fixated on the pain of her early grief.

however, following the war, it’s likely that pearl and rose were very attached to each other.

garnet would understand this because ruby and sapphire are the same way. with the trauma that garnet, pearl, and rose had from the war along with homeworld, there was an understanding that they all held each other extra close, were extra “clingy,” really, because they almost lost each other.

ruby often struggled to care about herself because she was so focused on protecting sapphire.

this was a quick interaction they had in jailbreak:

Ruby: “Did they hurt you?”

Sapphire: “No, no, I’m okay. Did they hurt you?”

Ruby: “Who cares?!”

Sapphire: “I do!”

apart from strong attachments, there were other problems that pearl + rose might have that garnet would understand.

sapphire and rose shared a similar problem, too:

“I keep looking into the future, when all of this has already been solved... As if it doesn't matter how you feel in the present. No wonder you think I don't care!” — Sapphire, Keystone Motel

although rose never had future vision like sapphire, both of them shared a tendency to get stuck in their own minds/daydreams.

sapphire looks into the future so much that she can’t be present, while rose had a lot of dark & painful thoughts about herself. these may not seem similar, but in both cases, sapphire and rose would become withdrawn and struggle with communication in relationships.

they had trouble really hearing and processing pearl & ruby’s words sometimes because of everything going on in their minds. “i need something right now, in the present,” or “can you understand that i love you for you, i know exactly who you are and what you’ve done and yes, you still deserve me and you still deserve love” would be hard to process when your brain is saying the opposite.

garnet would know that they wouldn’t benefit from splitting up, because she related to them. splitting up (especially without communication and making that decision on their own) is not something ruby and sapphire would want.

understanding the differences between gem relationships and human relationships make garnet’s intentions in “we need to talk” more understandable.

“Uh... I-I don't know. I don't understand your human relationships. So... uhm... goodbye!” — Pearl, Full Disclosure

relationships between gems are incredibly different from human relationships.

i think this confuses people sometimes, and i can understand why. they remember that ruby and sapphire are married, but what they don’t remember is that no other gems seemed to get married. most of them don’t understand marriage, and the crystal gems themselves had to learn about it and understand it more.

pearl and rose showed affection for each other in a variety of ways—and yes, some were things they learned about on earth. however, this is love and affection. gems are unlikely to learn about more complicated things, such as human rules and norms when it comes to love.

gems never say that they’re dating, or that someone is cheating on someone else. they do not label themselves as being polyamorous or monogamous. they just love.

gems can definitely be jealous, especially when they were someone’s favourite for a very long time and they’re suddenly becoming close to someone else, in a way that they havent been before. gems can worry about not being a favourite, but this is more difficult for others to see and much more subjective than cheating.

creators confirmed that pearl’s lyric “she chose you” in it’s over, isn’t it was only about how she saw the situation and not about what really happened. this isn’t like humans, picking someone to date over another. rose’s death was very confusing and pearl was simply trying to make sense of it. rose having a child with greg and then no longer being able to live with pearl forever definitely made her feel as if she wasn’t chosen. but both of you helped her begin to process and understand her grief more. rose loved both of them. her death doesn’t change any of that; it happened for reasons related to her, along with wanting to bring life into the world.

i think many fans look at pearl + rose’s relationship from a human perspective. this is one of the reasons why, even after the creators confirmed that pearl + rose were not unrequited, people continue to think that rose didn’t love pearl.

but even if humans can’t understand it, garnet would understand their relationship.

it’s also important to note that pearl + rose fused in we need to talk, before greg planned on trying to fuse with rose. as pearl said, fusion is the ultimate connection between gems.

“She had control when she used her power to drag their fusion into the ocean. But, a fusion like theirs is unstable, bound together by anger and mistrust. If that bond snaps, their anger will take over, and destroy.” — Garnet, Chille Tid

“I embody my... I mean, Ruby and Sapphire's love. I'll always exist in them, even if I split apart. But the strength of that love keeps me together. So I can stay Garnet for a very long time.” — Garnet, Keeping it Together

garnet witnessed pearl + rose’s fusion that day. they fused very casually (whereas the other crystal gems only fuse in deadly situations, according to pearl) and that would definitely tell garnet a lot about their relationship.

garnet understood their relationship. human relationships, not at all.

many fans say that rose couldn’t love / respect anyone until we need to talk, when greg demanded it. he asked her if she’s been in love with other humans before, and she responds with “how would i know?”

this doesn’t mean she’s never been in love before. with the confirmation that pearl + rose was not unrequited, rose being referred to as the love of pearl’s life in the movie, and many scenes in the show… at that point, rose had been in love with pearl, but never in love with any humans.

since human relationships are so different from gem relationships, rose simply wanted to know how greg, as a human, defined being in love.

“Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time, and love takes work. At the very least you have to know the other person... And you literally have no idea who or what I am.” — Garnet, Love Letters

as a close friend & as someone living with pearl and rose, garnet knew and understood them well, but she didn’t know and understand greg yet.

it was only a few months into their relationship. with everything that garnet said about love, there was no reason for her to “root for” or “prefer” rose’s relationship with greg over rose’s relationship with pearl. they didn’t love each other yet, and she knew that pearl and rose loved each other.

rose barely knew him and she barely knew him; while she trusted her friends and everything going on with them, she couldn’t have trusted greg yet.

it’s interesting to me that so many fans have focused on the fact that greg was the first human who rose respected.

while that may be true, i haven’t seen anyone consider how the other humans treated rose. it seemed perplexing to rose that greg wanted to get to know her and build something meaningful.

people focus on how rose couldn’t respect the other humans, but if no one brought that up to her, it’s likely that they didn’t respect her, either. they probably saw her as a fascination, too, and they never even connected enough for rose to start experiencing human relationships.

when garnet saw that greg was trying to fuse with rose, i think she helped him because she realized that he was different from the other humans. special, really. he wanted to know rose, and this fusion/conversation could really help him build something meaningful with her.

garnet never saw pearl be jealous of humans who rose interacted with before, so she simply saw this as being another new bond between rose and a human, but this time, a nicer, more loving one.

before i post this, i have to mention another misconception i’ve seen:

garnet wasn’t looking into the future & seeing/accepting rose’s death & steven’s birth. it doesn’t work that way, especially because sapphire never looked into rose. either way:

“No one can see the future. I can see options and trajectories. Time is like a river that splits into creeks or pools into lakes or careens down waterfalls. I have the map, and I steer the ship.” — Garnet, Future Vision

“Rose hasn't shapeshifted, and she isn't trapped. Steven is a fusion. Rose could be trying to un-fuse.” — Garnet, Three Gems and a Baby

so there you have it. a detailed answer to a very tricky pearlrose question. the opposite take, as described after the question, absolutely makes more sense.

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s) 10

Part 9

Shawn tried not to think too hard about his dad and his teacher dating. He knew his family was a little different than the others. Most people had two parents. But he’d never ask for his sire to show up. Never in a million years. He still remembered how bad it got. 

It made him a little wary of Mr. Munson. He didn’t think he’d ever hit his father. But sometimes pain wasn’t physical. Even when Billy hadn’t put his hands on Steve, the yelling had been horrible too. But Steve had been in love. And there had been a time when Billy cared for him. He’d told Shawn so.

Shawn couldn’t believe it. People in love didn’t do that kind of thing. People in love did things like go out on dates, gave each other gifts and scented each other nicely.

Like how Shawn could smell Mr. Munson on his dad. He probably wouldn’t have been able to tell who it was if not by his powers of deduction. They’d been sitting on his bed, his dad reading him a bedtime story. He didn’t bring up the scent, or how it made him feel nice. He just hoped Mr. Munson would stay around a while.

“Are you and Mr. Munson in love?”

Steve fumbled with the basketball in his hands and Shawn used the opportunity to steal it from him and go for a shot. He missed, but getting a steal from his dad was still nice.

“He and I are…dating, as you know”, Steve said, grabbing the ball as it bounced his way. “I think it’s a little too soon to be using words like ‘love’.”

“He’s over here a lot”, Shawn said.

Steve didn’t know how much he should read into that. Was Shawn saying he didn’t like Eddie being around so much? Did he feel like someone else was taking time away from Steve? It was hard to tell with his son sometimes what he was thinking.

“How come you always make me go out when he’s over?”

“I don’t always-”

“I know you’re going on a date every time I have a sleepover. And I’ve been having a lot of sleepovers lately.” Shawn’s expression was a little too mature for a child his age.

“First, don’t interrupt, it’s rude. Second, I thought you liked having sleepovers.”

“I do. I just don’t know why you don’t want me around Mr. Munson. I see him all day at school.”

Steve kept his body language nonchalant while dribbling the ball. “Well that’s just it. I figured you’d be sick of him. He’s at school AND at home?” He shot and the ball went right in. 

“If I score more than you, can we get ice cream?”

“Shawn, it’s January.”

“I want chocolate with gummy bears.”

Steve was still thinking of it a few days later when he had sent Shawn on yet another sleepover while he, Eddie, and Robin got drunk and gave powerpoint presentations on a subject of their choice. Robin was about ten slides deep into one about why TV shows sucked on writing lesbians on purpose but somehow made the most compelling character chemistry on accident.

At first, he’d been sitting close to Eddie, legs in his lap, playing with his hair but Steve had learned that Eddie never sat still for long. Every few slides, he’d jump up with an interjection and Steve knew if he didn’t want to flop off the couch, he’d better not get too tangled.

Robin was very open to discussion. Heated discussion but still. Steve finally cleared his throat when they started getting closer, hands moving wildly as they argued about the sexuality of Sandy the Squirrel.

“Hey, it’s Powerpoint Night, not debate night”, Steve said.

Robin gasped. “Steve! Can we have debate night. We finally have a third party to mediate.”

“What do you guys need a mediator for?”, Eddie asked.

“She has very strong opinions on salted caramel”, Steve said. “Your turn Eddie.”

Eddie got up, his presentation popping up as he cleared his throat. “Pluto’s Planet Status: Logic vs Sentimentality….”

Robin stayed the night, taking up the guest bed while Eddie went up to Steve’s room. He’d been inside before, but it always felt momentous. A space that not many had seen before and Steve was allowing him. They collapsed next to each other, limbs tangling through the night.

The next day, they got up, making a breakfast of sausage, eggs, and other greasy things to stave off any hangover symptoms. And before Eddie left, Steve asked a favor of him.

“Do you…mind scenting some of the pillows? Not for me, but for Shawn? I want to gauge his reaction to the idea of you becoming more…permanent.”

Eddie’s eyes got wide. “Do you want me to be more permanent?”

Steve bit his lip and nodded, moving in close to scent Eddie at his neck. “You’ve always smelled like safety to me. And now…you’re starting to smell like home.”

Eddie wrapped his arms around him, confirming that he felt the same. He wanted more of Steve’s scent around his own home. Eddie completed the favor, scenting the soft throw pillows on the couch. 

When Shawn got home, he had Steve spent most of the day inside, doing various things but when the sun set, they had a movie night. Steve tried not to look too giddy when Shawn grabbed one of the pillows and held it to his chest, nose pressed to it. His body language may have been neutral, but the happiness must’ve shown in his scent because Shawn started to cuddle up to him. His omega hindbrain was filled with thoughts he hadn’t allowed for a long time.

Good alpha. Safe. Perfect alpha. Perfect for pup. Need to scent pup. Need him scented by both. 

That was all Steve needed to move things up to the next step. He enacted it when picking Shawn up from school one day. He was mindful not to take up too much of Eddie’s time during dismissal, but Eddie always assured Steve that he’d rather talk to him than the other parents.

“What if you’ve got something important to tell them?”

“That’s what emails are for. And really, how many times can I say ‘your kid cried because someone looked at them’ or ‘ they’re chattier than a telemarketer’?”

Steve figured some things about being a teacher didn’t change all that much between the age groups. He built up his nerves to ask the question. He had already asked Shawn if it was okay and his pup was more than happy about it.

“You know, Shawn’s birthday is coming up soon. We usually go out and do whatever he wants. And we were wondering if you wanted to tag along?”

Eddie looked between them both, mouth agape and looking like he wanted to jump for joy, hug them both, and blast off like a rocket all at once. It really made Steve want to kiss him in front of all these people, parents, teachers and all.

“Hell yeah-I mean, y-yeah”, Eddie stuttered when he remembered where he was.

Shawn looked elated too and things couldn’t be more right.

And of course, that was when things started going wrong.

Part 11

Tags

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @lololol-1234 @gregre369 @attic-cat-blog

@hippieg1rl420 @spectrum-spectre

[loviingpedri]

my birthday baby - pedri

prompt: birthday special dedicated to me and other birthday babies!

warnings: grammar issues and like 1 subtle dirty joke

your birthday seemed an ordinary day to you. you usually just went on your daily routine. it wasn’t until this year that your boyfriend, pedri, decided to plan a vacation to celebrate you.

you’ve never celebrated the day since you were practically a kid. pedri figured it would a good time to step away from the world and make new memories together. the relationship was still in the new phase, meaning this trip would bring the two of you together.

“y/n! are you all packed up?” pedri yelled down the hall, expecting an answer.

“yeah! i’m coming!” zipping up your suitcase. you honestly had no idea where you were going. your party planner pedri only told you to pack pajamas, bathing suits, and some dresses to handle at least 4 days of vacation.

meeting up with your boyfriend outside, you gave him a quick peck on the lip before getting in the car. all suitcase business had been given to him to handle. only job you had to do was attend and look pretty.

considering it was 7 pm at night, the whole city of barcelona was sparkling. the city lights specifically highlighting your face for pedri to look at.

“won’t you give me a hint on where we’re going?” if you had a penny for every time you begged him to tell you the destination, you would be filthy rich for the rest of your life.

“i already told you, it’s a surprise.” it was the same answer every time. sighing with anxiety and your nerves pumping, you just had to trust him. there were so many places on your bucket list, the guesses could go on for ages.

“how long is this car ride anyway?” you closed your eyes just for a bit aft

little did you know. “not long. look outside.” opening your eyes and trying to clear your vision. your jaw dropped and your back suddenly straightened.

“you’re joking, right?”

in front of your eyes was a luxurious private jet with a carpet customized to your name that was in front of the stairs leading to it. other than your boyfriend, this is probably the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

pedri stopped the car and put it on park. “do you like it?”

“are you kidding me. i love it so much. thank you!” hugging him from the passenger seat was hard, but he could feel the excitement coming from you.

people coming to park the car in valet and take your suitcases as your hand was grabbing pedri’s hand tightly. you wanted to run onto the jet immediately, but the visuals of it made you stop in awe.

-

most of your flight was drinking champagne and then falling into a deep sleep after. pedri gently woke you up to see the view. you saw clear waters and the bright sun.

“it’s beautiful, but where are we?”

“welcome to malé, maldives.”

getting off the plane shortly and stretching your legs, the sky was so clear. you didn’t have to worry about baggage claim either since they were going to be at the resort before you even knew it.

you thought your resort would be in the middle of the city, so you can just go out. were you proven wrong quickly. you were soon on a boat riding to your overwater villa. pedri was really spoiling you this trip.

the villa was gorgeous. you had a fear that you were going to get home sick easily because it was a four day trip, but you would rather spend your whole life here without a doubt.

“it’s still early. wanna go for a swim?” pedri never missed an opportunity to do something active. you couldn’t blame him, the pool was definitely special.

changing quickly and jumping into the ice cold water woke you up after your long flight.

“thank you for all of this. it really means a lot.”

“i believe you should be celebrated. it’s even better when you’re celebrating with me.” giving you a wink made you lay your face into his shoulder from his cheesy flirting.

-

it all happened so fast. after swimming, you took a tour around a nearby resort. doing some yoga before it was dinner. putting on your best outfit and pedri having his fancy suite, it all felt like a fever dream.

this man got you a 10 course meal, 11 if you include something else.

“pedri, you don’t understand. i am so grateful you’re doing all of this. but how long did this take you to plan?” stuffing your face with the tiniest portion of caviar they gave you.

“like two weeks. i don’t know, my manager did everything for me. i just had to pay for it.”

that was such a pedri thing to do. he wanted to show you that he appreciated you, but he had troubles trying to show it. it was the thought that counted.

finishing your meal, an unexpected surprise was coming towards your table.

a birthday cake with the words ‘happy birthday’ was sitting in front of you while your boyfriend and complete happy strangers singing to you. memories of your past birthdays were running through your mind and you felt happy as the celebration of your birth was with the only person that mattered to you.

your boyfriend, pedri gonzalez.

——————————————————

author’s note: happy birthday to all the october 23 babies! happy scorpio season, everyone! thank you for all the support on tumblr. i can’t wait to make new stories for you guys in my newest chapter in my life. 🤍

[steddieas-shegoes]

it's a celebration

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'celebrate good times, c'mon'

rated m | 922 words | cw: alcohol | tags: bisexual gareth, friendly teasing, birthday party, famous corroded coffin

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

They joked for years about going all out for Gareth's 21st birthday, but he always brushed them off. He wasn't big into huge parties, would much rather just have some fun with the guys, drink, smoke, whatever.

His boyfriend, Sam, couldn't make it for his birthday, so he definitely didn't feel like celebrating much.

"C'mon! One stripper! I'm sure we could find a dude if that's what you want," Jeff nudged his shoulder as they settled on the bus after the show.

"Don't want a dude," Gareth sighed.

"A woman then! Even better for me and Frankie." Jeff poked his arm. "Sam won't mind. It doesn't mean anything."

"Not worried about Sam." He wasn't. He'd tell Sam all about it and Sam would laugh and ask if he tipped in ones or fives, he'd ask about their show, he'd tell him he loved him and missed him. "Just not interested."

"You're such a bummer lately," Frankie groaned. "Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you have to be lame. Look at Eddie."

Frankie gestured to the empty spot at the table where Eddie had been when they first walked on the bus.

"You mean the Eddie who's hiding in his bunk so Steve can get him off over the phone before his adrenaline wears off?" Gareth snorted, leaning his head back against the couch. "He seems super interested in hiring a stripper."

"Why would you turn down seeing some boobies on your birthday? You used to love boobies." Jeff sounded genuinely disheartened.

"Or a dick! It's fine if you just wanna see a dick, man. Jeff and I are super cool with it. It's your birthday. A stripper is a stripper is a stripper," Frankie said with a smile.

Gareth couldn't help laughing. "You guys sound ridiculous, you know that right?"

They both stared at him until he finally stood up and started walking towards his bunk. Eddie was just gonna have to be extra quiet.

"You can't go to bed now! It's your birthday!" Jeff yelled.

Gareth waved him off, coughing as he got close to the bunks so Eddie wouldn't be as surprised by him.

But it sounded like Eddie was asleep. He could hear his breathing, and a soft voice on the phone, but nothing else.

He climbed into his bunk above him as quietly as he could and fished his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Happy birthday, baby," Sam's voice immediately brought a smile to his face.

"Thanks, love. Whatcha up to?" Gareth sighed as he settled in bed, fully dressed and still sweaty from their show.

"Nothin' much. Just fielding texts about a potential job offer," he said casually.

It was nearly one in the morning for him, and his jobs weren't exactly middle of the night type of opportunities.

"This late?" Gareth asked, hoping he sounded more curious than suspicious.

"Normally, I wouldn't bother replying to this type of thing, but it's hard to say no when the offer's so good."

"What is it?"

"Involves hopping on a flight pretty early in the morning and staying in a hotel tomorrow night," Sam was smiling, but Gareth couldn't tell why.

"Does it pay a lot?"

"Nah. Not in money, at least."

"The fuck does that even mean?" Gareth was past confused and landing on frustrated at this point. "You can't do something like that for no pay."

"The payment would be seeing my boyfriend for the first time in a month and hopefully getting fucked into every surface of the hotel room," Sam continued.

Gareth sat up so fast, his head hit the ceiling. "What."

"Jeff texted me saying he was in need of a stripper for your birthday. Can't turn down a free trip to strip for you. He even offered to tip me."

Gareth jumped down from his bunk, not caring if he woke Eddie up. He walked out to Jeff, who was talking calmly with Frankie about something else.

"You asked Sam to be my birthday stripper?!" Gareth exclaimed.

"You won't celebrate properly if I don't, so yeah. I did."

Gareth could hear Sam laughing through the speaker. "You're really gonna be with me tomorrow?" He asked, still a bit afraid to get his hopes up. He wouldn't put it past any of them to pull a prank on him for his birthday.

"There's one condition," Jeff continued. "We go out for drinks first so we can all buy you your first legal drinks."

"And then I get Sam all to myself?"

"None of us wanna fuck him, so yeah."

Gareth felt tears stinging his eyes. "I can't believe you did that behind my back and still wanted to hire a stripper tonight."

"To be fair, they did ask if it was okay if they did that first," Sam got his attention. "I said I didn't care, but then they decided to just have me come visit."

Gareth hugged Jeff and Frankie before making his way back to his bunk, listening to Sam talk while he packed his bag. Eddie somehow managed to sleep through all of it.

🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

When he finally got to be alone with Sam the next night, he was pushed to the edge of the bed and told to sit still.

Sam stripped for him, showy and dramatic, both of them laughing the entire time.

Gareth stuck a $20 bill in his underwear before he was finally given permission to take them off of him.

His 21st birthday celebration turned out much better than he could've hoped, after all.

[vioartemis]

One last time

(Tara Carpenter x fem! Bridger! reader)

Summary: Amber and Richie planned on framing Sam and you for the 2022 massacre, as you were both daughters of past Ghostfaces. Only thing; the fans never get a happy end. Neither do you. Request is here :)) a/n: This is pretty short I'm sorry I couldn't come up with anything else 😭 Warnings: blood, injuries, death (reader), angst (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

“Imagine the headlines tomorrow: ‘Billy Loomis’ daughter went mad and killed her friends with the help of her accomplice, Roman Bridger’s daughter! The two wanted to pursue the legacy of their fathers.’ Now that’s what we want to see!” Amber said, holding a knife to your throat

Your little group was gathered in the kitchen of her house after Richie and her tried to kill you and exposed their plan.

“What are you talking about? Roman died in 2000, he doesn’t have a daughter.” Sidney said

“No one here is his daughter!” Tara yelled

Richie turned to you with a smirk on his face.

“Oh, you didn’t tell her did you? I thought you would’ve, when Sam confessed being Billy’s daughter”

All eyes were on you.

“Fuck you.” you spat at him

“Y/n…? He’s wrong right…? You’re not…” you gave Tara a guilty look “Oh my god… why didn’t you tell me…?”

“Because… because I didn’t want to lose you… I was scared you would leave me if you knew…!”

“How am I supposed to trust you…? You lied to me for more than two years! Two fucking years Y/n! How can I know you’re telling the truth? Maybe you’re with them. Maybe-“

“Don’t say that…” you started to tear up “Please don’t say that…”

She looked away from you, like she couldn't bear to see you again. That broke your heart.

Lying to your own girlfriend for two years hurt you too. You wanted to tell her, you tried multiple times. But every time the words got stuck in your throat.

“Ow sorry, I think we messed up your relationship…” Amber smirked at you

You didn’t think about her knife still on your throat and punched her in the face. No one saw it coming.

Sidney took this opportunity to take a kitchen knife and attacked Richie, too focused on you to defend himself.

Everyone started fighting everyone. It was a messy fight; everyone was a little confused by your sudden punch at Amber.

You tried to protect Tara from the fights, pushing her away when Richie tried to stab her. They made her question your relationship? Fine. You would make them pay for that. But the most important thing was keeping her safe.

At one moment, you got thrown against the counter. You got up quickly, but Amber was now ready to shoot you. When she pulled the trigger, Tara screamed.

“Aw come on, I’m like two meters away how can you miss such an easy shot?” you smirked at the killer

“Oh you…”

She was ready to try again, but Sidney slammed the hand sanitizer on her head, making her drop the gun.

Immediately you tried to take it, but Gale looked at you with suspicious eyes.

“Right, you don’t trust me”

You backed up, letting her take the gun.

Amber tried to explain herself and convince Gale not to shoot her, but she did it anyway. The girl fell on the stove and lit up.

“Holly shit…” you let out as she burned and fell on the floor

A scream was heard, coming from the hall. Everyone got out of the kitchen and ran to the hall, ready to help.

On your way there, you grabbed Sidney’s gun that slid into a corner earlier. Just in case.

When you arrived, Sam was standing in front of Richie’s dead body, covered in blood. She didn’t need help after all.

“Careful, they always come back” Gale said

Sam took the gun from her and shot Richie in the head.

You all sighed in relief, until you heard a scream behind you. Amber was still alive and was running toward you knife in hand.

Your body reacted before your brain could process what was happening. You shot her in the head before she could hurt anyone else.

“Y/n…” Tara said, next to you

“I know, I took the gun. I’m sorry, here” you drop it “I’m not with them I-“

“No you’re bleeding!”

“Hm?” you looked down. There was blood on your jeans. “Oh… yeah… I forgot about that…”

You were too focused on Tara’s well being you completely forgot about your own wounds. Multiple wounds.

You placed a hand on your stomach. It came back stained with blood. Your black shirt made it difficult to see you were bleeding.

All of a sudden, you collapsed on the floor, all your strength leaving you.

“Shit…” you groaned as the pain grew

Tara knelt beside you, concern written on her face. She lifted your shirt up to see where your were hurt. Three stab wounds and one bullet hole.

“When did you-“

The fight flashed before her eyes. When Richie was about to stab her you protected her. Three times. Then Amber tired to shoot you.

“You said she missed…!”

“Maybe I lied…”

You started coughing, blood coming out of your chest and mouth. Your girlfriend tried to stop the bleeding, applying pressure on your wounds.

"Sam call an ambulance!" she yelled at her sister before turning back to you "Y/n I'm sorry I told you that earlier... I didn't mean it I swear..."

"I know, I know..." you smiled weakly, putting a hand on her cheek and wiping her tears gently "It's okay my love... please don't cry... I want to see your smile one last time..."

"W-what do you mean 'one last time'...?"

"You can't save me Tara..."

"No no no no no..."

"C'mon... smile for me, my pretty girl..."

She held back her tears and cracked a weak smile.

"I love you so much..." you whispered, still smilling

"I love you too..."

You closed your eyes for a second, the light hurting you.

"Y/n...?" your arm fell slowly "Hey..." she shook you slightly "Baby please... Y/n...! Please wake up...! Don't leave me..."

She wanted to scream. You couldn't die. Not like that. Not now. You still had so many things to do...

"What about these holidays we talked about...? The amusement park...? The dates on the beach...? The sunsets you said we'd see together...? Y/n please..."

She couldn't admit it. Even months after. She still hoped you would come at her door one day, hug her, kiss her, take her hand and take her with you to some cool place you promised her to go.

But you never came.

Sometimes she dreamt about you. Waking up without you next to her was always heartbreaking. She kept the clothes you forgot in her closet. At first they still smelt like you. Not anymore.

It was like you really disappeared. Every trace of your presence slowly vanished.

Not the pictures though. Oh how much she cried looking at your selfies together, holding your favorite necklace tight in her hand. The one she gave you on your first anniversary. The one you never took off.

Everyone told her to move on, to see someone if she needed help. But she didn't need help. She needed you.

[thepaintedlady00]

There I am, minding my own business loading my dishwasher when this idea just flies putts nowhere and lodges itself in my brain. So. Here you go. Have some random Sandman thing 😂🤷‍♀️

Dream of The Endless x Human Reader

TW: angst, betrayal, slightly darker Dream, this is unedited, I have literally no clue what this is so 🤷‍♀️

The Cursed Truth

"You're not human." It wasn't a question. Not anymore. Now, it was a fact. It was clear and definite and unimaginable. Just as he was.

Morpheus' lips thinned as he sighed, hands clasped tightening in front of him with a face as lovely and distinguished as polished marble. "I am not."

Though your previous statement hadn't been a question, his verbal confirmation of it made your whole body ripple with disbelief. How? How was that possible? "You…" Your chest stuttered slightly as angry tears pricked the corners of your eyes. "You weren't going to tell me."

That wasn't a question, either.

"No."

You pressed your eyes shut as tightly as you could. White filled them, stars and shapes stinging the backs of your eyelids, and it still wasn't enough.

"I did not want to frighten you with all the knowledge that comes with the truth." His voice was so soft just as it had been over the years you'd shared with him. Years. 

"So, instead, you've lied to me!" You yelled, your lungs so heavy inside you it felt like they'd explode if you held it in any longer. "From the first moment, you have been lying! Was anything you said true? Did you ever really love me?"

The marble of his face cracked, eyebrows pulled together, and sorrow filled his eyes' deep, endless blue. "Of course I do. I would never lie to you about a thing as sacred as that."

The words felt sincere. They felt true, but how could they be? How could you believe them now? "How do I know? You've lied about who - what you are from the start. How can I trust that you aren't lying to me now?"

"You may not have known what I was…" He took a step toward you, hands separating as he gently lifted one to your face. His palm was cool, so soft that his touch felt like silk against your cheek. "But I swear to you, every moment we shared, every word spoken between us has been true and always will be."

Tears slid down your cheeks, the wind gently rustling your hair as you looked up at him. Then it hit you how you didn't remember going to him or him coming to you. The last thing you remembered was returning home after learning the truth from one of the books in Hob Gadling's home. You paced… You…

"This isn't real. Is it?" You said, tearing your eyes away from him to look at your surroundings, now so very clearly a dream that you didn't understand how you'd missed it before. "This is a dream."

Morpheus grew slightly stiff as he slowly lowered his hand from your face, but that was all. There was no disappointment or surprise… Nothing was written on his face. "Just because it is a dream does not mean it is not real."

He seemed so calm, so collected. Even from the start, when you confronted him, he didn't seem surprised. Nothing you said since he'd arrived had surprised him. Your whole body burned as you stared at him, eyes wide and angry. "How many times have we had this conversation?"

His jaw clenched, and his face finally showed you something. Annoyance. Frustration. "Several."

"You fucking asshole!" You screamed. "You've been using whatever bullshit power you have to redo this fight so you could win?"

"I have no interest in winning, my dear," he replied with a sigh. "I am simply trying to do this right. You were so scared the first time I explained it. I thought if I tried a different approach, it would help."

"Did it?" You seethed.

Morpheus shook his head. "No. You are exceedingly stubborn."

"I'm the stubborn one?" You demanded.

"The third time you punched me."

"That sounds like a good idea." You breathed out a hot breath.

He took a step toward you again, presenting you with the opportunity. "You may hit me as many times as you'd like. If it would help you… If it would return things to the way they were, I would let you carve my heart out here and now."

To the way things were. Back to when you were some idiot, clueless thing to him? No. "Beating the shit out of you wouldn't make things be the way they were. Nothing will."

You could see the pain in his eyes. He did care, but that didn't mean you could forget this. Not yet. "I have upset you. I am not as eloquent with my words as I once thought." He looked away from your face momentarily, resigning himself to something before reaching into his coat. "I shall have to be more mindful next time."

You grabbed his hand, pulling his eyes back to yours. "Don't you dare."

"I cannot lose you," he said, his eyes shifting into dark pools of starlight. "I will not."

"If you make me forget… If you erase this to start again, I will never forgive you. You will lose me if you do this, Morpheus."

"Then what would you have me do?" He demanded. "You do not understand. You are still angry and fearful and-"

"I'm human." Tears slid down your cheeks, floating in the air between you both. "If you want me to understand and to… To move past this, then you have to let me do it on my own terms." His hand squeezed the pouch, still hanging half in his cosmic cloak. "Please."

The darkness that threatened to engulf your world slithered away, and his eyes returned to the blue you were used to. He let go of the pouch, pulling his hand from his cloak, and instead took hold of your wrist. "Very well, my dear. I shall abide by your wishes." He pressed his lips to your wrist. "When you are ready to speak again, you need only call upon me."

Your anger simmered as you grew tired, so tired you could hardly stand it. "Thank you."

"This dream is over."

Sitting up in your uncomfortable chair, you instantly pinched your arm, studying your apartment for any sign that it wasn't real before you looked at the book sitting open in front of you depicting the god Oneiros. 

The shaper of form. 

The King of Dreams and Nightmares.

Dream of The Endless.

The Sandman.

The man you'd loved.

Your fingers touched the page as fresh tears stained your cheeks. "Morpheus."

Rain filled your world, thunder and lightning filled the cloudy skies as the raven sitting on the window seal watched you cry, and through his small eyes, The Dream Lord too watched. Unbeknownst to all of you, a figure clad in black stood outside the flower shop across the street from your apartment. Their white hair was slicked back, and their golden eyes were lined with thick kohl. Red roses surrounded them as they lifted their gaze to your window, to the restless bird that perched in front of it for a moment before taking flight into the storm clouds. Their crimson lips twisted up into a wide grin. 

"Oh, how horribly predictable of you, big brother." Desire plucked one of the red roses, giving it a generous sniff before they crushed the velvet petals in their hand. They scattered the petals in the wind as they sauntered across the street, making sure to leave a decent clump outside your door as they lifted their fist and knocked.

[beegalactica]

the it girl's guide to handling rejection

So the one thing that could possibly go wrong finally did... What now?

You put yourself out there; you went for that person, you applied for that opportunity, you tried that thing that had been on your mind for ages, and it didn't work out. Maybe you feel upset with the world and wonder why it always has to be YOU that misses out, or maybe you internalise it all and completely think that it's definitely your fault. Sometimes it is hard to accept how things happen in life because we feel like we were so close, like it could've been us, but ultimately it wasn't because we weren't 'good enough'.

As humans, we always feel the need to be in control of every little thing in our lives, so when something doesn't work out as planned, we ask ourselves: "What did I do wrong? Why not me?". Rejection is a part of life. You are worth so much more than just settling and accepting the bare minimum because you may be desperate, so that's why you don't get that guy or that job.

It's all because there is a greater movement happening in your life that you can't see. After all, you're just hyper-focusing on this one specific aspect. Bigger things are happening for you than you can ever imagine, and if you settle or get complacent where you are right now, you won't be driven to seek out that greater thing, and you won't get to experience it.

You know that it's all supposed to get better. You know that the pain will stop one day and you'll forget all about it, but before you get to that point, it's so hard to even think about it when you feel so negative in the present moment. You just feel this tightness in your chest and it feels like you can't breathe, but I promise you, you will breathe again.

Here are some ways to navigate rejection instead of letting it break down the person that you are:

Cry, yell, do whatever you need to do: the worst thing you can do is let it fester inside until it eats you up. Talk out loud - let yourself truly hear what it is that you feel. It hits you so much harder when you hear yourself be so upset, but acknowledgement is the first step.

Write about it: I will always be the biggest advocate for journaling but this doesn't even have to be formal in any way. Open your notes app and just dump whatever it is that's on your mind. Save It with just the date as the title and one day, maybe in the next week, month or even years, when you feel so much better, you'll be able to look back on that note and have so much proof in your life that you got over it.

Think about what's next: You went out of your way and did that thing, even if it didn't end up the way you would have liked. What are you going to do now to move on? It's better to think about what's next, after having done it anyway, than spend the rest of your life wondering what if.

Always remember to take a step back and express gratitude for the place that you are, even when it feels like there is nothing to be grateful for. The fact that you woke up today is a blessing, even if you spent the whole day in bed. You're not going to be upset one day and magically be perfectly fine the next day, it WILL take time, but it is possible. Just as it is possible for 'bad' things to happen, it is more than possible for amazing things to happen to you and I know that they will.

take care of yourself 💗

[theblackhate]

Knowledge pt.1

check out the other parts here!

Summary:

The story begins the same for everyone, on the day of the ceremony, one of the most important for all the kids who take part in it every year, and Michelle will not miss the opportunity to leave behind a faction that she did not feel belonged to her.

On her journey, however, she will encounter someone who will make her initiation feel like hell.

Pairing: Eric Coulter x reader

Word count: 3.3k

"Wake up, or you'll be late," a woman with short bobbed hair entered Ellie's room, opening the blinds to let in the morning rays. She stood, hands on hips, wearing a displeased expression. "What were you up to last night? I heard you come back late, too late."

"I was with Anne," Ellie stretched, trying to awaken her still-sleepy muscles.

"Always up to something, you two," the woman continued to complain as she left Ellie's room, closing the door behind her and yelling for Ellie to get ready for the Test.

"Good morning to you too, Mom," Ellie thought as she rose to begin dressing, opting for a simple white suit with a black turtleneck to wear underneath.

She took a quick shower to fully wake up and paused to look at herself in the mirror. Her long brown hair framed her pale face, caused by the little time she actually spent outdoors during the day; she preferred the night.

She left her hair down that day, the sky covered with dense clouds and the wind blowing strongly as she stepped out of the house, tousling her hair.

As she exited the building, she was greeted by Anne, who approached her with a big smile, jumping onto her and wrapping her arms around Ellie's neck. "Hi, Ellie!"

"Hi, Anne. I see you're in a good mood," despite their conversation from the previous evening, Anne seemed like her usual self, tears replaced by a big smile.

"There's no point in moping, don't you think? And besides, we still have the whole day to spend together," she said, starting to walk, trying to catch up with the rest of the group of Candors.

Ellie adjusted her jacket, feeling chilly. "You're right, this might as well be the last one."

Anne tried not to let what her best friend had just said affect her; the smile was in danger of fading the more she thought about it. Their separation was inevitable, she knew that well, but it didn't hurt any less.

They quickened their pace and finally joined their companions, who were chatting animatedly among themselves, ignoring the two girls nearby and casting glances in their direction.

Neither of them let the comments they overheard about themselves sway them, walking with their heads held high until they reached the building where they would take part in the test.

"Everything will be alright," Ellie whispered into Anne's ear, seeing her agitated; she was nervously biting her cuticles.

"It's just that... Ellie, what if the test says I'm something I don't believe I am?"

Ellie looked at her with a touch of pity; anxiety consumed her from within every time they had an important event, and the Attitude Test was the most crucial day of their lives.

In contrast, she was calm; her hands tingled from the long wait that would lead to The Choosing Ceremony, her only chance for escape.

"You don't have to choose what the test tells you, you know that," she replied, joining the queue with her peers, observing the boys and girls from other factions doing the same.

Anne spoke to her, but if she were honest, she wasn't listening; she had become lost in watching the different groups of youths join their respective lines. It was a beautiful sight to see five distinct lines, neatly separated by five different colors.

Slowly but steadily, the line moved, letting hundreds of boys and girls from all factions into a massive hall with seats for each of them; a woman dressed in blue with a tightly pulled chignon stood in front of a blackboard, her gaze stern as she watched the youths enter.

Once everyone was seated and silence fell over the room, the woman began to speak, explaining the history of their city, the utility of the Attitude Test, and the importance of the Choosing Ceremony. These were crucial for maintaining order within their society.

But Ellie wasn't exactly paying attention; a notebook on her thigh and a small pen in hand, she doodled random lines on the paper; she didn't care to pay attention, she just wanted lunchtime to arrive so they could start with the tests.

That was her only thought for the next few hours, with the woman's voice in the background and Anne beside her continuing to nibble at her cuticles.

A bell signaled the end of the long lesson, prompting the students to split into various small groups for lunchtime. She and Anne took a table apart from the others, away from any other group to spend some uninterrupted time.

"Was the lesson that boring?" Anne asked her, nibbling on a piece of meat, having no appetite.

Ellie shrugged, continuing to eat. "A bit, it's stuff we already know," she said with her mouth full, looking at Anne. "These lessons are pointless."

Anne looked around the lively cafeteria, sighing before pushing away the plate in front of her. "If I eat anymore, I'll vomit."

They fell into silence until five volunteers, each from a different faction, entered the cafeteria to call two students at a time. The redhead began to fidget more, her hands trembling as she watched her peers leave the cafeteria to take the test.

Ellie took her hand, running her thumb over the back of it to try to comfort her. It pained her to see the person closest to her in such a state of anxiety, but alas, Ellie was the last person capable of consoling anyone.

"I can't do this," Anne said, holding her head in her free hand. Her palms were starting to sweat, and Ellie tried to ignore it so as not to make her feel worse; she was disgusted by having her sweaty hand on hers.

The ten students remained inside the rooms for just over five minutes each, some longer than others, and in no time, the second set of students was called.

The cafeteria was now engulfed in silence, each student engrossed in thoughts about their future. Would they leave everything behind just because the test gave them a different result from their original faction?

Almost ten minutes later, the volunteers emerged again.

"For the Candor, Anne Bishop and Ellie Black," the Candor called before returning to the corridor from which he had come, expecting the girls to follow him.

With great calm, they got up, leaving the cafeteria to finally make their way to the rooms where they would take the test. Anne didn't let go of Ellie's hand until they were standing in front of two separate doors.

"Good luck," Ellie whispered to Anne as they entered their respective rooms. The door closed immediately behind her, leaving her alone with a woman dressed entirely in black.

The room was completely covered in mirrors with a chair in the center, the woman was typing something on the computer without showing any sign of having seen Ellie, who stopped to observe her.

She was an Asian woman with long black hair and clothing typical of the Dauntless faction, perhaps the sleek black jacket was too big for her. Ellie noticed a tattoo on the back of her neck but couldn't make out what it was, her hairs was on the way.

The woman turned around, a fairly serene expression on her face. "Nervous?" she asked, smiling at her. "Don't worry, it doesn't hurt."

"No," Ellie replied, still standing.

The woman gestured for her to take a seat in the chair. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll be with you in a second," she said, returning to enter data into the computer.

Ellie observed the room, her image being reflected multiple times, creating a strange optical illusion.

"My name is Tori," the woman said, turning towards her with a reassuring smile and a curious gaze. "I've never seen a Candor so quiet before."

"There's a first time for everything," Ellie replied quickly, irritated by the phrase that had been repeated to her her whole life. She looked ahead, ignoring the glare Tori sent her way.

"Now I'll attach these. They'll allow me to see your choices," Tori said, attaching two suction cups to Ellie's temples. A slight shock passed through Ellie's body. "Drink."

She handed Ellie a small cup containing a slightly blue liquid, its consistency resembling that of water. Perhaps Tori sensed her insecurity and wanted to reassure her that it was harmless, but Ellie took a deep breath before bringing the cup to her lips and swallowing the liquid.

In a few seconds, she felt a strange sensation, like dizziness, before closing her eyes and reopening them; she immediately noticed how the room had changed, the Dauntless woman had disappeared, and the room had widened.

The simulation had begun.

She rose from the chair she had been sitting on to inspect the room and noticed how the door had also changed, but when she reached out to touch one of the mirrors, a voice interrupted her.

"Choose!"

Ellie spun around abruptly, but when she tried to figure out who had spoken, she was met only by her reflection. When she turned back again to touch the mirror, she found two different pedestals in front of her.

One displayed a slice of cheese, while on the other rested a dagger. Ellie immediately reached for the dagger; it would be useful in various situations and objectively much more useful than a simple piece of cheese.

In an instant, the pedestals disappeared, leaving the room empty again.

Ellie observed the dagger in her hands, the cold blade against her palm sending shivers down her spine. What would happen if she even lightly pressed the blade into her palm?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a fierce growl, and a large dog with froth around its mouth began to charge at her; she stood still, waiting for the dog to come close enough to defend herself and, if necessary, attack.

"Oh, a puppy!"

Another voice chimed in, but this time, when Ellie turned, a little girl dressed in white stood behind her. She observed her for a few seconds, completely forgetting about the dog that was about to attack her.

However, at her feet, a whimper caught her attention; a puppy.

She looked around; the fierce dog from before had disappeared, replaced by an adorable puppy. She bent down to pet it, noticing out of the corner of her eye how the little girl was slowly approaching.

She shifted her gaze from the puppy for a second, just in time to see the little girl's happy face contort into an expression of fear. The growl returned, and when she looked back at the dog, she saw how the sweet puppy had turned back into the fierce dog from moments before.

The latter lunged at the little girl, but Ellie stopped it in time by throwing herself onto it and plunging the dagger into the animal's body. She closed her eyes; she didn't like the idea of hurting an animal regardless of its actions.

But she didn't feel the dagger hit anything, and when she opened her eyes, she noticed she wasn't in the room full of mirrors anymore, but rather on a bus, an old man reading the newspaper next to her.

Ellie immediately noticed the image of a man on the front page, with a caption calling him a brutal murderer.

The man reading the newspaper lowered it, eyeing the girl and narrowing his eyes. "Do you know him?" he asked, pointing to the man's face on the front page, his voice trembling.

Ellie had never seen him before, yet there was something familiar about him, like an invisible thread connecting them. She wanted to answer him, to tell him that maybe she had seen him somewhere before, but she stopped herself before a single word escaped her mouth.

She couldn't.

She decided to ignore the man, looking straight ahead and ignoring his pleas.

The man's pleas turned into distant lament, and Ellie closed her eyes, reopening them immediately after. She was back in the initial room, Tori next to her, observing the computer screen.

"The Test gone well" Tori removed the suction cups she had previously placed on Ellie's temples, returning to the computer to input more data. "You've been identified as Dauntless. I hope to see you in a few days."

She turned towards Ellie, smiling and gesturing that she could leave the room.

Ellie didn't linger on the chair any longer than necessary, leaving as soon as she was given the green light. She stood still in the hallway for a few seconds, hoping to encounter Anne, but a volunteer urged her to leave to make room for the next group.

She was ushered out through the back door where various youths from different factions were talking among themselves, some happier than others. She tried to scan the crowd for her best friend but without success; it was as if she had vanished into thin air.

She attempted to wait for her for several minutes, even an hour, but eventually, bored and likely assuming Anne had left without her, she headed home.

During her journey, the sky clouded over and a few drops began to fall, but she didn't seek shelter, too lost in her thoughts.

Dauntless? Could she really be one of them?

Her heart began to beat fast in her chest; she knew she would be leaving her faction, but the idea that the day had finally arrived filled her with a strange anxiety.

The unknown worried her; she was aware of the challenges of initiation among the Dauntless and wondered if she would be able to pass it.

She hurried home as the rain began to intensify, the sky growing darker, and she needed to see Anne, to know how she was and especially what her result had been.

The rules were clear; it was forbidden to reveal the result of the Attitude Test, but the two friends had sworn to tell each other at least.

When she arrived home, she was relieved to notice that her mother was still at work, so she took the opportunity to leave the house again and take the elevator to Anne's floor. In less than five minutes, she stood in front of Anne's apartment door and knocked, patiently waiting for a response.

The door opened shortly after, but it wasn't Anne who greeted her; instead, it was her mother. Her expression changed, a genuine smile appeared on her face. "Oh, hi Ellie! How are you, dear? Come in!"

The woman made space for her to enter. "Good morning, Mrs. Bishop. I'm fine, thank you. And you?"

"I'm good, dear. How did the test go?" Mrs. Bishop gave her a warm hug, a small part of her old faction never left her.

"Good, I'm happy with the result. Have you seen Anne?"

The woman's expression darkened, the smile fading. "Uh, she's in her room. I don't think she's happy with the result. She came home early because she wasn't feeling well during the test," she whispered the last part to avoid being heard by her daughter, who had returned home in tears.

Ellie thanked her before heading towards Anne's room. Some of their photos were hung on the door; she stood still, observing them for a while, reliving the countless memories that would be lost in less than twenty-four hours.

Ellie knocked, and shortly after she opened the door, closing it behind her.

Anne was shattered, her face covered in tears as she hugged the pillow and didn't even look at Ellie when she entered. Unsure of what to do, her friend glanced around, feeling slightly uncomfortable seeing her best friend in tears and being unable to help her.

Trying to regain some composure, Anne sat on the bed and wiped away her tears. She made space on the bed for Ellie, who gladly sat down, putting an arm around her shoulders.

And that's when Anne burst into endless tears, burying her face in Ellie's shoulder. Ellie began to stroke her back to provide some comfort.

It's unknown how long they stayed there, with Anne crying and Ellie thinking about the Choosing Ceremony that would take place the next morning. She glanced down to see her friend lying down, using her legs as a pillow.

When Anne managed to calm down, she got up to go to the bathroom, and shortly after, she returned with a still-red face and clothes wrinkled from the position she had been in.

"I guess it didn't go very well, I imagine," Ellie whispered, trying to be as tactful as possible, and she sighed with relief when she saw that Anne sniffed without falling into tears again.

"Amity, my result," Anne said, looking at the floor and continuing to nibble on her cuticles.

Ellie nodded. "Dauntless."

Anne gave her a small smile. "It wasn't hard to figure out."

"I could say the same about you," but Ellie's words seemed to hurt Anne somehow, causing her eyes to well up again

"Anne, are you okay?"

Ellie approached her again, but her friend recoiled when she tried to touch her arm. "Yes, I just felt sick during the test. That's all."

"Are you sure, I—" 

"Can you just go, please?" Anne's tone was sharp, catching Ellie off guard. She had never received such treatment from her best friend before. Sensing her mistake, Anne closed her eyes. "I need to think..."

Ellie left without giving her a chance to finish her sentence, irritated by her behavior. She always tried to do her best for her, to comfort her even if she wasn't capable of it, and the fact that she was being dismissed like that when she was just trying to help bothered her a lot.

She returned home to seclude herself in her room, hoping her mother would leave her alone until dinnertime, but luck was not on her side that day. In fact, when she closed the door behind her, she saw her mother sitting at the table in the living room.

Her gaze lifted as she saw her only daughter entering the house in a hurry, a un-happy expression on her face as she tried to avoid eye contact with her.

"How did the attitude test go? Are you pleased with the result?" Despite her feigned interest in her daughter's affairs, she couldn't deny she was curious about which faction her daughter belonged to.

"Well, goodbye," Ellie replied, slamming her bedroom door shut, bidding her mother farewell for the last time. The next day, she would have to go to work early; many of her colleagues would be absent due to the Choosing Ceremony to accompany their children.

And Ellie would wait until late at night to have dinner, wanting to avoid as much contact with her mother as possible, knowing she would try to get her to reveal which faction she had chosen.

She would find out the next day, from the whispers in the corridors after the Ceremony, but she didn't want to give her mother the satisfaction of knowing before everyone else, especially seeing that content little smile knowing she would be rid of her.

She hated to admit it, only Anne knew what she felt towards her mother; she hated her, hated her with all her being, but despite that, she harbored a love for her that she couldn't even put into words.

She always tried to appear worthy in her mother's eyes, even unintentionally, but it was as if everything she did was wrong and branded her as the family's shame, the black sheep tarnishing her father's name.

And that's how Ellie fell asleep, still fully dressed and with tears in her eyes, thinking about her best friend, about what she would leave behind by choosing the Dauntless the next day.

Perhaps it was her time, her opportunity, and she wouldn't let anyone ruin that day for her.

Not even someone she considered a sister.

[nychta-luxury]

An Imposter or a God's Helper?

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You are a normal person, with a pretty average life. Your favorite game is Genshin Impact even though the fanbase is can be..Very concerning to say the least. Ignoring the amount of toxicity, you still loved the game and would play it at every opportunity.

One day, your friend Darling wanted you to look after their account, which kind of surprised you considering Darling was a Genshin fanatic until you learned that Darling needed to focus on their finals. Which is fair. You don't exactly go to collage so might as well help out. what's the worst that can happen?

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Part one (here) Part 2

First story I posted, any advise would be appreciated! Please comment as well :)

Warnings: Not proofread, cult behavior, worship, religious themes.

Darling au

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"What the actual fuck" You say as you get no five star artifact.

"I'm doing a level 90 domain how is it possible that I don't get a single 5 star in three runs?!" You yelled annoyed. Look you understand if it happened in one run but three?!

"Darling, how in the world did you live like this??" You wined

"I JUST WANT A GOOD SANDS" You were hopping that you get some luck in Darling's account with the sands...We don't talk about the luck you get in your own account alright? It could leave a meta player 6ft under.

"Ugh, fine screw luck I can just fight some bosses" You say confidently, after all bosses don't need luck. Sure you can hope to get three of the boss drops but other than that everything else is guarantied!

You hum as you go over to Oceanid with Raiden and start it's battle

.....

"Why are they level 100..?"

--------------------------------

"AHHHH RAIDEN WHY IS YOUR BURST NOT UP YET????"

"WHY THE FUCK DOES ZHONGLI'S SHIELD BREAK IN ONE HIT??? HE HAS 50K HP??"

"TIGHNARI I SWEAR IF YOU DONT AUTO AIM AT THOSE DAMN BIRDS-"

"YAE MIKO WHY ARE YOU NOT CRITING YOU HAVE 70+ CRITE RATE???"

----------------------------

..... You died over five times trying to fight Oceanid and only got one Cleansing Heart..

"This game makes me want to quit." You say before logging off

---

---

In Teyvat the dear acolytes were so happy to see their grace yet again, oh how much they missed Darling! They don't care if they saw Darling yesterday, they are always pleased to be in their presence anytime.

However, some of the more observant acolytes have noticed something is off about Darling.

They don't dare question their grace but something is definitely off. Darling has been interacting with the acolytes a little too much not that they don't mind! However they have been muttering things about how they will miss them.

Darling would never leave them right? Their God would never.

So imagine when they got greeted with you and not their beloved grace.

Many of the acolytes are filled with rage especially the immortals. They have been worshiping the divine one for hundreds of years. And when they have been blessed with Darlings guidance, you a lowly creature dare try to steal the almighty's creations?

No one is happy how dare an imposter try to steal the beautiful world the all mighty has created? Even Teyvat itself is displeased with the new management.

They may not be able to kick you out however, They will make your stay here as miserable as possible.

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[6:16 pm]

(cw: toxic yang, asshole yang, angst)

“So what? I don’t feel the same way and you just cut me off?” Yangyang yelled.

You rolled your eyes and continued through the apartment. You were here on a mission, you were at Yangyang’s apartment to pick up your things and get out. Nothing else.

It hurt you to be here, to be in his presence. The pain of losing your best friend was fresh, but this was good for you. A clean break, you deserved more than this. You kept your head up and continued on silently.

“You can’t ignore me! We’ve been friends for over a decade! Just because I don’t feel the same way you’re going to cut me out of your life, that’s not fair,” Yangyang followed behind you down the hall to the room that was considered yours, not anymore.

You pulled your clothes off the hangers in the closet, checked the drawers for T-shirts and pajamas, anything that was yours you packed away into the box your brought with you so would never have to come back to this place or face Yangyang ever again.

“God you’re being crazy right now, you understand people don’t have to reciprocate your feelings right?” Yangyang asked.

You stopped on your way to the front door and turned to face Yangyang. You had no more tears left to cry over him all that was left was your anger and annoyance. So exhausted after years of letting him walk all over you and do as he pleased, while you just took it.

“Do you understand how much you fucked with me? Let’s just ignore for a second that I told you I was in love with you, asked you for space when you said you didn’t feel the same, and that very same night you went out to a club and took someone home. No, I’m talking about you leading me on now and how you were a shitty best friend. You always had your hands on me, in my hair, on my thigh, on my back. Every time I talked to someone else you’d get jealous and wrap your arms around me like we were together. You slept in my bed, you asked me to stay every other night, how am I being blamed for you leading me on? How is it my fault that my so called best friend acted like more and I read those very obvious signals as something else? You made those moves, I never once acted in the same way you did even though I so badly wanted to.

I was at every show, I put aside my goals to be there for you. I missed so many family events and opportunities to be there because you wanted me to be there. But you never once made an effort for me. You missed birthdays, you missed my graduation, and I can’t even remember a single time you answered one of my calls when I was stressed or needed help like I’d do for you. So no, I’m not ending this decade long friendship because you don’t feel the same way, I’m ending it because I’ve realized how one sided it is. I’m not going to follow you around like a lost puppy and be at your beck and call when you have never and will never do the same for me. You didn't make loving you easy, but I still somehow managed. I deserve more from a friend and someone who deserves my love.” You ranted, it felt so good to get it off your chest.

“That’s not true,” Yangyang shook his head.

“I wouldn’t make something like this up, but lucky for you, you’ll be getting space to process this unlike the nonexistent space I had. I asked for space, some time to process my hurt and embarrassment from confessing my love and I didn’t even get that for a day. You called me that night drunk and bragged about the person you were bringing home, you called me like nothing had happened every night for 2 weeks. You once again disregarded my feelings in favor of your own, somehow the pain I was feeling, the pain I showed you didn't matter as much as you telling me about your latest conquest or that you wanted me to get a pizza and drop it off at your house. That’s not fair,” you added, your voice breaking. You weren’t going to cry over this, you were done shedding tears over Yangyang.

“So we’re done, you’re leaving me?”

“This isn’t about you! For the first time in a long time I’m putting my feelings before your own. I just don’t care anymore. Feel what you need to feel, fuck whoever you want, do whatever you want and leave me out of it. I don’t want to be a part of it.” You ended, turning away from Yangyang and rushing to the door to get away from him.

You shut the door behind you, a small sliver of hope that Yangyang would follow after you and make an honest effort to repair your friendship. But you knew better. He let you leave his house sobbing after bearing your soul to him and let you walk home alone. He hadn’t changed in the time you spent away from each other and you don’t want to find the time to wonder when or even if he would change.

You were practically floating on your way back home, you got so much weight off your chest, feelings that made you angry and anxious- negative emotions you didn’t want to feel. Years of repressed emotions finally leaving your head. You felt good, happy that everything was going to be just fine.