#and we started watching randomly
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bro what the fuck i just watched the episode where L dies and THAT scene after they come back inside from the rain really is over the top.what the fuck. I did not remember that romantic piano music. Also the double-entendres of everything they say..on the one hand it's alluding to L's soon-to-be murder, but also clearly it's meant to be (or at least could be) understood as romantic. What the actual fuck did I just watch. Also why did they look at each other like that. What the fuck
#this just reminded me of the first time i saw this age 13#with my 11 year old cousin#on youtube. each episode was split into like 7 videos of 2 minutes#to waive any copyright issues i suppose#and we started watching randomly#and when we got to this part. my heart dropped because for a moment i really genuinely thought that they were going to kiss#and at this point i had gotten into fanfiction in private..and had been on tumblr maybe for a month or so#but i was terrified of seeing anything Overtly gay with a member of my family#let alone my 11 year old cousin who maybe hadn't had any exposure to gay existence#and i was like Oh shit they're going to kiss and then my cousin will tell our parents and then#*cue light yagami style internal monologue where i thought about hitting the router with my foot or faking a headache or whatever*#and then they didnt kiss and i was like oh :/#had forgotten about that repressed memory#oh to be a middle schooler again#death note
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oh i need to drive out into the country at 3am soon and sit in the car or lay on the ground listening to the coyotes laugh across the field
#idt tova follows me here but it's a very important memory#driving out with them to watch the perseids in.... i think probably 2021?#and we just drove east and then around randomly and eventually found an in-progress subdivision#and drove into a circle and got out and laid in the middle of the paved circle and looked up and watched the perseids arc across the sky#until at some point we started to hear yelps and yips and howls#across the field from us in the woods a ways away#and thought hey maybe we should experience the rest of this in the car#so we got back in and watched some more meteors arc for a while until we decided it was late enough to leave#txt
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ohhh my friend came over and we somehow ended up watching the entirety of tpn season one and ray still makes me so fucking sick. im goig to tear apart steel beams with my teeth
#skye's ramblings#THOUGH IM ALSO JUMPING AROUND SOO FAST BC SHE LIKED IT. shes like my only irl friend shes known abt my illness since the start#i take my ray plushie when i sleep over at her house she calls him my little guy. i genuinely didnt think it'd interest her much#we were literally just bored and she randomly picked up v1. 2 pages in she was like 'oh this is really addicting can i borrow this'#FELT AUTUSM KICK INTO MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE. said we could watch the anime n after ep1 she was like oh this is really good#cant describe how much i am jumping off tge walls in my mind. shes never been able to get into anime till now. i think i just won at autism#of course w the excitement comes escape arc ray once again hitting my brain with hammers god i love him so fucking much guys. i'm nauseous#it'll be 3 years since my first watch soon btw i wonder if ray emotions will ever stop making me physically ill. ifuckng love yuou raaay...
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losing interest in oomf who ive known for like 4/5 years I feel horrible
#hes been just. Annoying lately#like. Asking us 'CAN WE PLS WATCH BEN 10 THAI DUB' like No#freakychat has been ignoring those requests ever since he started asking#i dont think he gets the hint. He talks about like “HOW DOES HE NOT REALISE PPL ARE TELLING HIM TO SHUT UP??” bur when people do it to him#he also doesnt realise#its just been annoying me#every time we vc to play something he always changes the subject to “Can we watch this?? Can we watch that??” blah blah blah like No i just#wanna talk with you not watch a movie#i feel bad about the fact im starting to not like him anymore but. Hes just been annoying lately#Not to mention he randomly talked about werewolf penises in a public server full of people he doesnt know#people who are minors#and I had to deal with it#while he ended up apologizing i think its still weird his excuse was 'there were no rules'
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Warframe'd your Getter
This crossover can only be understand by a total of 3 people (me and my 2 friends)
#getter robo#warframe#honestly if you both play warframe and read/watch getter robo we should play together#lol we can form the getter team in warframe#this silly au started when i randomly went to my friend and said “The void and Getter Rays are similar huh”#like if you think about it....god i love robots with cosmic horror 💖💖 fav gender fr
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should i start watching Supernatural just to really solidify my 15-20 years too-late-to-the-party trend i got going on this year
(i started using this tumblr account + watching Doctor Who and the Marvel movies all semi-recently lmfao)
#but also my sister was a supernatural/sherlock fan back in the day#so really we complete superwholock together#but i think it would be really funny to just randomly start watching spn#im also never going to finish a show this long unless it SOMEHOW gets me like doctor who did#supernatural#superwholock#spn#nyx talks too much
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missing venti hours
#i am having thoughts . but i am not too confident to make them their own posts#mmmost notably#about how nice of a thought it is — to imagine a bard that ven can get to hold again. to hear again#but . the idea that in canon . the best he could do to replicate that feeling is either holding himself and pressing softly or perhaps#gathering a long pillow in his arms and pretending#because mortals do not last long (not without consequence). and as said so much — time is merciless. it matters not how the clock ticks away#for you. whether it be by seconds or minutes. hours or years. it marches along regardless of anyone’s feelings to it#and you have to grasp at what lingers in between : the bonds that you make . the joy and sorrow . the laughing and silence#and you have to hold them close close close. to preserve them for another day#there is no getting back what was lost#but that’s a bit too bittersweet so anyways#first and foremost ven is a nuisance and we love him for that#secondly and much more importantly than the first point is that ven is full of love and care that it surprises me how it does not burst out#from him. ven puts others before himself A LOT. he wants everyone to be able to live peacefully. happily#to find that they can live another day with a smile#and if that means assuring them of what’s to come. or offering them a shoulder to cry on. or making a fool of himself#then by the heavens himself will he sign up for the task#he is not !!! a lazy archon i refuse this notion#he cares deeply for his people !!! he watches and he will help if they stumble and will back away when they wish to walk forwards on their#own !! and they will make mistakes and they will learn from them and he will be there …!!!!! to see them grow !!!!!#besides mondstadt doesn’t particularly ?? seem like they want a god to truly rule over them . tbh#and this is disregarding the fact that mond . fucking killed their first god . ven is not going to risk that ???#so what use would it be — to start randomly showing up as a god and guiding them that way ?? that would be pressuring !!#does this . am i making sense . im very tired#it’s 2am#lantern says stuff
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Chat what if I started crying
Tw for animal death in the tags
#my senior cat is doing not great#she must’ve been bitten by some large neighborhood animal#she’s pretty sick and has some bite marks from canine teeth on her lower back#she probably won’t make it through the night#I really hope she does so we can get her to the vet#why didn’t we take her when we first found the bite marks#if she doesn’t at least she dies with loved ones#unlike my other cat#who died from being attacked by some different beast#like god two three years ago at this point#idk why this cat is making me feel so much worse#maybe it’s because instead of my mom randomly sitting me down and telling me#I’m watching her decline in real time#we probably won’t get another new cat after this#I hope we do though#I don’t like not having a fuzzy little study buddy#and my other cat at the moment doesn’t really do affection#I have a little bit of hope though because she still has enough energy to be hissy spitty at the dog for simply existing#and when we moved her from one end of a bed to the other she stood up and re situated herself#lowkey wanna start sobbing but idk I feel like that’d make my parents pay attention to me and that’s lowkey what I don’t want#like idk my family does the physical affection like hugging and shit#but when k feel like shit that’s not really my thing#and boy howdy do I feel like shit#anyway rant over#bye
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literally just trying to find out if theres a fucking hurricane coming my way and clicking any news article on my phone is a jumbled mess of ads and beating around the bush like holy shit dude just show me the fucking graphic of the storm path i saw in the thumbnail. im going to lose my mind
#this is the real shit that has me frustrated with technology. like we're so advanced and yet this is the bullshit we deal with#we put a man on the moon but we cant put hurricane coverage not behind a paywall#side note like its so rare for people to just sit down and watch the news now#unless they were already so inclined#if i can get a bajillion ads in front of me for some fucking car or sports drink or whatever#can they start running ads like 'hey dipshit theres a hurricane coming'#admittedly this one isnt rly coming my way as much as beryl did#but is2g the past decade has just been someone randomly happening to mention to me a hurricane is coming and thats how i find out
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it’s wild that they dropped the yuri on ice trailer for the movie years ago and we never heard anything from it ever again 😭
#LIKE WHAT#i just randomly thought abt this#that was the first anime i watched when i started to get into anime#so it holds a soft spot in my heart 🥹#but like are we ever gonna get that movie?? is my question 😭#tris.txt
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And then they all settled into the break room to watch the latest Season Premiere! Yes, because it just so happened to be that particular pop-up holiday, and I was like, "Well, they have a nice big TV right here." XD They thoroughly enjoyed the shows on offer, though about midway through Smiler and Alice both got distracted by flirting with Victor. XD But they watched enough of them all to complete the tradition, and that's what matters!
And better yet, by the time they'd all completed their required watching, the blizzard had cleared up, and the snow outside was starting to melt as it was in fact now kind of warm! "All right," I thought cheerfully, "let's just get a picture of the trio in front of their new store, and then we can open!"
...yeah, uh, that ended up TAKING SOME DOING. The first issue I ran into was when I tried to set up the tripod myself at the edge of the lot and have Alice set the timer for a picture -- apparently it was too close to the front of the store, meaning that instead of standing OUTSIDE the store as I'd intended, the group went INSIDE and stood behind the flower-arranging bench in front of the windows. Which, might have been okay if I believe Alice hadn't been entirely blocked by the shelves of flowers. XD So I had to put the tripod and camera back in Alice's inventory and have her place them in the world in the middle of the road, hoping the tripod would face the right way when she did. Fortunately, she did put it down facing the store, yay. First hurdle passed!
Second hurdle -- uh-oh, Smiler is feeling the thirst. Well, fortunately, that is easily taken care of -- they always carry a bunch of plasma packs and plasma fruit. They sipped on that while Victor and Alice had a little make-out session, and ended up refreshed enough that I didn't have to worry about shitty needs while taking the picture. Second hurdle passed!
And then we came to the third hurdle -- ACTUALLY GETTING THESE IDIOTS TO TAKE THE PICTURE. Dear lord, this was SUCH a thing. Because either Alice would go to set the timer, and then just IDLE there for long enough that I would think something had gone wrong and cancel the interaction, or while "waiting for the photographer" Smiler would randomly wander off down the road, and if I tried to teleport them back into position by changing poses when Victor and Alice got in front of the camera, they would end up merged INTO Alice, which, not good. FINALLY getting the shots I wanted took so long that not only did I have to have them change clothes halfway through as they were too hot in their winter wear, it was SUNSET by the time I went "FINE I'M TURNING AUTONOMY OFF SO YOU CAN'T MOVE." *facepalm* Granted, I actually think the sunset photos look pretty cool, and I was happy with the photos once I got to take them, but cripes. Make me suffer for my cute threesome shots, why don't you, game?
#sims 4#the lazy save#victor van dort#alice liddell#smiler always#pop-up holiday about season premieres: perfect excuse to just watch TV in the break room XD#at least they had a good time and completed the holiday!#I'm aware they look rather overlit in those pictures though#I think it's because the couch is in front of the glowing bannister for the stairs#may have to adjust the lighting situation in that room#but now it is time to bitch about how long it took me#both in game and out#to get those DAMN PICTURES#like I just wanted a nice photo op of their new store#so we could hang up a couple of pictures both at the store and at home#but nooooo#either the game was lagging or Smiler felt the need to wander off randomly#I don't LIKE having to turn off autonomy in my games but#I'm starting to think it might be a necessity when using the tripod sometimes#Smiler does NOT like waiting for the photographer I've found#especially if there's ANY kind of lag#*sigh* at least the actual pictures themselves turned out good!#very pleased with those shots#queued
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Does anyone else occasionally see a news update from someone and just turn into a feral animal over it? Asking for a friend
#its me im the friend#and by someone i usually mean an ex lol#i decided to check if they are still alive (they are!)#and its the pettiest thing. like the most petty thing ever#i get angry when an ex watches a new show before i do. hence another reason not check on them#this happened years ago with high school of the dead of all things#i ended up not watching high school of the dead until like a year ago because i was angry they beat me to it like 6 years ago#and yeah i finally watched it and it was so very terrible. kinda glad they got that one#back when i still spoke with them regularly (we still talk but its rare now) like 6 years ago#they mentioned that they were going to watch deadman wonderland so i stayed up long hours for like a day or two#and just binged the hell out of deadman wonderland so they would not beat me to it lol#deadman wonderland was also subpar. my ex does not have great taste in anime#but today i found out they watched two shows (one of which i finished a few months ago and one i havent started yet)#and unlike before these are actually good anime not subpar 6-year-old mainstream anime lol#no offense to people who like high school of the dead or deadman wonderland. they just werent for me#i actually found deadman wonderland somewhat fascinating but the anime fell flat. i plan to read the manga one day#i should also clarify that by feral animal i just mean im grumpy. im not going to say or do anything about it#i'll probably either watch the anime out of spite very soon or refuse to watch it for several years. we shall see#also in other news my ex unblocked me? yeah it the ex that blocked me randomly a few months ago and then undid it right after#it was all very strange. like i said we still talk. we havent fought. i never start conversations they always initiate them#except in special circumstances. i did reach out recently for work related reason because i had a problem that aligned with their job#i did not mention anything about the blocking and neither did they lol. i guess we are pretending it didnt happen#so i have had 3? exes block me only to unblock me a few weeks to months later? why is this a trend#why am i still awake at three am you ask? ANGER#thats half a joke. i am already over the anger with my ex beating me to the shows but i am angry for unrelated reasons#reasons that have to do with another person once again breaking our appointment after they promised we would talk today#they were a complete no show. im rather annoyed by it. but alas~ that is life#im tempted to delete this post because its really just venting but i find the wording of the post itself to be kinda funny so it can live#neo rambles#neo complains in the tags
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Uhm... so ... my ex?boyfriend that I still live with until he graduates in October (and hopefully goes on to find a job soon so he can move out) is starting to blackpill himself with questionable relationship and men's issues content on yt
and also refuses to sit down and talk about my problems with the kinda content he watches
This worries me.
#I'm not entirely sure how to think about this#he started binging this swiss yt channel about men and their hardships with modern dating#which at first glance i didnt think twice about because sure why not#let this swiss woman with an amazingly soothing voice shine a light on mens issues#sounds good to me they deserve to have their voices heard too#but then i watched one of her videos about mismatched expectations between men and women#and boy#some good opinions here and there#but just as many red flags#like underexplained graphics#very little nuance in some of her takes#loads of generalizations#to me it kinda sounded like bending the data to fit ur thesis#so i told him all the things that worry me about how she uses statistics#and as someone who works data i expected this guy to be a bit more understanding of my issues with her content#but instead i only got a very brash 'ok fine very observant arent we'#as he put his headphones back on to continue watching another one of her videos#then#five minutes later#after nothing but silrnce he just randomly blurts out 'because women are dumb' in a self assured#almost annoyed tone of voice#i was like wtf#and i guess then he realized that i heard#and i was like 'dude imagine me sitting here hearing not a peep from u for a while until u blurt out because women are dumb??'#like what even are u watching that makes u say that#like i get indulging in content that confirms your views and biases once in a while when ur feeling down#but nothing has ever made me say something this blatently immature and hateful about another group#especially if that other group is the entire opposite sex like my guy are u okay????#i wish we could watch these videos together so we can hear each others opinions on her takes in real time and have a proper conversation#but i don't think he'd wanna do that atm & also there's a reason i don't want to be w/ him anymore and this exact attitude is part of it
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shoutout to my dad for complaining his baldurs gate 3 download took 45 minutes. i cant even play it but go OFF
#i mean my laptop can run it but.#minimum. not recommended#and i avoid playing games that way unless i have no other choice#which means theres 4 options. right#1. i get to borrow his pc when hes done. (unlikely.)#2. i just dont play the game (skipping out on a fantasy rpg with dialogue options?????? ME??)#3. i wait for ps5 release (next month)#4. i somehow randomly get 2000 bucks on my bank account and use it to build myself a halfdecent pc (unrealistic)#(also i wouldnt be building it myself i would be sitting off to the side listening to my dad explain what hes doing while hes building it)#ramblings#it was a little bit funny i was SO close to bitching about it#like yeah man. having to wait for the game after release. definitely have NO clue what thats like#feeling the squidward behind his window watching spongebob meme rn#i do. think he deserves it mind you. like hes loved bg for years#hes been waiting for this game to release in its entirety.#since before i was BORN#not counting bg1 & 2 rereleases. obviously#but also give it to me rn#I WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT HES TALKING ABOUT WHEN HE INEVITABLY STARTS SAYING SHIT#i still remember when i played mass effect & we had lenghty conversations about like. everything in that game#he was sitting next to me when i beat me2. ok#yeah sometimes our taste in games differs a LOT (his sandboxy zombie game vs me with my 'the script is longer than crime & punishment'#but when it overlaps its magical bro#as much as i say 'i wouldnt be the person i am now without my mom' (derogatory)#i say it about my dad but (affectionate)#sorry its 7 am i got a little emotional over how i live with people who actually like having me around now
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bedtime now :33
#I LOVE CLYDEE#called him today and we randomly started talking about videos we watched as kids it was so cool#talked about allllll the mlp shit i watched as a kid i even told him about the cupcakes grimdark fanfic which was fun#HE'S SO SILLY AND HE LISTENS SO WELL#i love him soooo much eating him#he's my silly guyyy i love himmm#okay night :33#my text
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💭
#this girl I was close friends/roommates with during my last year of college just got engaged with her bf of 8 years#while I am happy for both of them… idk I have difficult feelings about her now and don’t see her as a friend anymore#she used to live in the same city as me during the first like year and a half or so of the pandemic#and in that time we got to see/hang out with each other twice#first time we got to catch up for a few hours and we had a good time but it was kinda bittersweet… idk how to describe it#the second time she asked me last minute to accompany her to pick up stuff she got through Facebook marketplace#during one of those two times we hung out/she basically told me to my face that it would be the last time I’d see her#i understood initially cuz she was about to start teaching and she wanted to focus on her relationships with her bf and her family#but not long after she started teaching/she quickly started going out a lot and making new friends#then she moved to another town like 30 ish minutes away cuz her aunt kicked her out in the middle of her first year of teaching#idk I never had a good feeling about things cuz of all of that stuff I stated above#but also since she’s been trying on working to improve her relationship with her mom after everything she’s done to her#cuz we both have shitty moms who’ve said and done shitty things to us and our families#i know it probably won’t happen or won’t happen for like a few years#but in the event she invites me to her wedding/ I’m gonna be deadass with her about how I’ve felt about her#and see if she’s willing to work on improving our friendship before I decide to attend (if she does invite me cuz idk)#oh I also forgot how after she moved after her aunt kicked her out#she had the nerve to randomly ask if I could watch her aunt’s dogs during the week I was starting 3 online summer classes#she didn’t even like say hi/make small talk or ask nicely either#she just straight up was like ‘hey can you watch my aunt’s dogs during (x) week?’#she recently congratulated me when I posted on my Instagram story that I passed my driving text and got me license but I didn’t respond#I just have a lot of difficult feelings about her now/wish I could unfollow her but I don’t wanna start shit & her be all in my face & shit#jazz uses curse! 💜
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