#and we benefit by stopping the beast plague

[fearthecoldblood]

do you think that gehr started losing his memories of mar.ia in the dream and couldn’t understand why he was so upset when he saw the doll

[lochnessies]

I disagree. if Edelgard hates them so much to the point of complete extermination...Why be able to spare flayn and seteyh? If the route is about ethnic cleansing you should have to kill them literally no matter what, not be able to let them live. She literally never shows the same animosity to Seteth or Flayn as she does Rhea. Despite her going "children of the goddess.", her focus is almost always on the woman in charge of the church she sees as corrupt: Rhea.

Duscur doesn't make CF have themes of ethnic cleansing, because Duscur wasn't "Oh Yeah Since we hate this ethnicity lets do this horrible thing", It was TWSITD taking advantage of the fact that people were already prejudiced towards the people of Duscur and stoked the flame hot enough to turn things into a fully blown tragedy. It wasn't even really done FOR edelgard so much as it was done for "Whoever lived through the crest experiments".

Like, Edelgard could have died and her made up brother Carl von Hrevelg could have been the one to survive, and theyd still say "all for your benefit." Just before they say that line Edelgard openly threatens to kill them, so Duscur had nothing to do Edelgard's plan and everything to do with TWSITD's plan.

Like, say what you will about Edelgard and being a trash person, but her motivations don't really have anything to do with races or ethnicty except in regards to the fact that Seteth, Flayn, and Rhea are practically immortal and literally aren't humans who are in a position of power of the main (and false) religion of fodlann. They're also only three nabateans she knows and the only ones we get to see her interact with, the first two being loyal to Rhea and therefore also bad since she thinks Rhea's bad. She only ever calls Rhea (the one she saw turn into a dragon) a beast. Her priority for better or worse is always Rhea.

I dunno, maybe you are right. I just think going "Edelgard is definitely racist" is a bit of a stretch. Like it's a reasonable stretch, but still

I disagree. if Edelgard hates them so much to the point of complete extermination...Why be able to spare flayn and seteyh? 

that’s because she doesn’t spare them!!! only byleth can!! throughout the story edelgard refers to them as ‘beasts’ and dehumanizes them again and again. to her, they are subhuman creatures. yes, they are not human but they are sentient and have human feelings and emotions. they are capable of love and hate just like humans are. edelgard admits that she wants to “obliterate” rhea and those around her. in the jp it is even more explicit and she says that she wants to obliterate rhea and the other children of the goddess. the game mechanics even show this by not allowing you to spare seteth and flayn if you play as edelgard - only byleth can. to contrast this, in the mission where you attack the alliance, if you attack claude (a human) with either byleth or edelgard, you can spare him even if edelgard makes her displeasure known. the game is trying to tell you something. byleth can convince edelgard to spare claude’s life, but under no circumstances can you convince her to spare the nabateans. this is also shown in leonie and linhardt’s paralogue. when you choose your units for the battle against the Immovable (who is saint indech) you cannot bring either hubert or edelgard. this also translates over to fire emblem heroes. if you use edelgard to fight a nonhuman enemy she has a guaranteed follow up quote. "beasts hiding in the light. monsters slithering in the dark. i will destroy them all.”

there’s also these totally not racist quotes about rhea AND the other nabateans:

“the monsters that have controlled fodlan in secret for far too long... rhea is their leader.”

“we are the only ones who can stop this indomitable enemy that has plagued our world for ages. we fight for humanity!”

“i will save this world from those creatures and give humanity its freedom back!”

“should the one leading the people of the world be someone with humanity or a creature that can merely masquerade as a human at will?”

“as you know, my goal is to free our world from the control of rhea and the other children of the goddess.”

“we'll head straight for the castle and strike down their leader—rhea, that vile creature called the immaculate one!”

“if the battle becomes a clash of beasts with inhuman strength...”

“the children of the goddess have been defeated at last. the shape of the world will be forever changed. humanity is free now. the world is ours once again.”

Duscur doesn't make CF have themes of ethnic cleansing, because Duscur wasn't "Oh Yeah Since we hate this ethnicity lets do this horrible thing",

so you’re admitting that crimson flower does have themes of ethnic cleansing with the nabateans and that edelgard does hate that specific ethnicity and does horrible things to them?

Like, Edelgard could have died and her made up brother Carl von Hrevelg could have been the one to survive, and theyd still say "all for your benefit."

ok?? but that didn’t happen. if little carl von hresvelg lived then the tragedy would have been for his benefit and not edelgard’s cold corpse. but carl von hresvelg didn’t survive, edie did. and the tragedy of duscur was done for her.

It was TWSITD taking advantage of the fact that people were already prejudiced towards the people of Duscur and stoked the flame hot enough to turn things into a fully blown tragedy.

you do know that duscur and the kingdom were on pretty good terms right? that’s why lambert was going… to solidify that relationship.

It wasn't even really done FOR edelgard so much as it was done for "Whoever lived through the crest experiments".

that’s your hc. show me anything in the game that proves that. the tragedy happens after the experiments so it would have to be specifically her.

Just before they say that line Edelgard openly threatens to kill them, so Duscur had nothing to do Edelgard's plan and everything to do with TWSITD's plan.

what is twsitd’s plan? it’s to cause chaos on the surface and destroy the church and nabeteans. what is edelgard’s plan? to take over the kingdom/alliance and destroy the church and nabateans. and how did twsitd help foster unrest to aid edel’s war of conquest? they helped start the tragedy of duscur.

edel might not have set the fires or had the idea but she still profited heavily from it and knows who the culprits were the whole times. and yet she never reveals their identities to the public and duscur is forever remembered as a nation of cruel and backstabbing people all because edel wants to save face by not letting the public know she willingly works with a death cult.

Like, say what you will about Edelgard and being a trash person, but her motivations don't really have anything to do with races or ethnicty except in regards to the fact that Seteth, Flayn, and Rhea are practically immortal and literally aren't humans who are in a position of power of the main (and false) religion of fodlann.

goddamn that’s a loaded paragraph. and a shitty one at that. once again, you admit that edelgard has prejudice and ill intent towards a specific race. also what power does seteth and flayn have? they’ve only been at the monastery for 20 years (flayn for only one). and also what significant power does the church of seiros wield? the church in adrestia was dissolved 120 years ago at the start of the game. the church in the alliance is ‘toothless’ and is ignored by the nobility. the church in the kingdom is in open revolt with the central and has tried to assassinate rhea multiple times.

also why does it matter that rhea isn’t human when it comes to the church? THE GODDESS IS HER FUCKING MOTHER! THE RELIGION ORIGINATES FROM THE NABATEANS, YOU KNOW, HER RACE!! SHES THE FOUNDER OF THE CHURCH OF SEIROS! SHE WROTE THE DAMN BOOK! does she not have the right to run the religion that she’s literally the child of the god of? the religion that she started? the religion that comes from her race and culture? what sort of backwards ass logic are you on?

that’s like saying that edel and dimitri don’t deserve their thrones even though their parents were also the rulers and they had been trained since they were kids to be leaders.

also the religion isn’t false. sothis is an actual deity with powers over time, earth, and life. sure, some details are fabricated due to the fact that nabateans are in hiding out of fear of genocide but other than that it’s a legit religion. seteth even talks about humans building churches and worshiping sothis before rhea rebranded it during the war of heroes in order to, as the devs say: “seiros and co. meddled with history not in order to rule over humans, but to quell the flames of war and chaos as much as possible, and to also keep a steady balance about humanity.”

They're also only three nabateans she knows and the only ones we get to see her interact with, the first two being loyal to Rhea and therefore also bad since she thinks Rhea's bad. She only ever calls Rhea (the one she saw turn into a dragon) a beast.

she also can’t interact with macuil and indech. so no, it’s not just bc of the fact that they are close to rhea that she knows about. also no, she also calls seteth and flayn beasts and creatures in my examples above. please reread them because i don’t trust you to have any reading comprehension.

Her priority for better or worse is always Rhea.

even if this was true, which lets be clear it’s not, am i supposed to praise her or???

I dunno, maybe you are right.

yeah :)

I just think going "Edelgard is definitely racist" is a bit of a stretch.

i do not stretch. i’m as stiff as a board. literally no flexibility or reach in my body.

Like it's a reasonable stretch, but still

if it’s reasonable then it’s not a stretch. a stretch is an unrealistic claim that someone has to grasp at straws to make. i literally show you quotes from edelgard’s own mouth and a play by play of her direct actions and you still go ‘well she’s not racist :(‘ if anybody is grasping at straws it’s you

i never back away from an argument. if we can both agree that edelgard being a villain is conclusive then why the fuck are you set on her not being racist despite the evidence? aren’t villains supposed to do bad things? have bad agendas? have twisted morality? last i checked that’s what racism is.

[avengershumanresources]

blood 7 - Strange/Stark!Reader

Relationship: Dr. Strange/Princess!Stark!Reader

Rating: M

Warnings: Adult Themes, eventual smut, adult language, implied sexual violence, general violence

Synopsis: Reader is the daughter of the legendary King Anthony Stark, Uniter of Lands, The Iron Defender, and leader of the realm. When the king disappears during battle, hope is lost and he is presumed dead.

When the late king’s uncle, Obadiah, takes the throne until your brother Peter is of age, he quickly arranges a marriage for you with a wicked king in a neighboring kingdom.

With the realms politics in question, and rumors of an upcoming siege to overthrow Peter’s rule before it starts, you quickly learn who is loyal to the crown and who is not.

part 6 - part 8 (coming April 13th)

Masterlist

Chapter Playlist

CHAPTER WARNING: Yee-har, thar be smut afoot in this here chapter. 18+

7- a king

Anthony Stark hadn’t expected all of this to come of his death. He foresaw of some of it.  

Of Obadiah’s imminent betrayal and Brock’s general ambition, but when Wanda had approached him with her vision all those years ago, he couldn’t have understood what it all meant. 

Now, however, he realized the violence that was soon to arrive at his kingdom’s doorstep. It was an uneasy feeling; the responsibility bestowed upon him to put men’s lives at risk. To make widows and orphans because of inter family squabbles. 

But Tony knew that Obadiah and Brock both presented far larger threats in the long term. 

A king who is hungry for power will never stop to consider the least fortunate in his rule. 

It was a mantra Tony had created for himself after his father had let entire villages fall to win back some petty golden toy during the War of the Giants. In the end, the lives lost had been worthless and the giants returned to their mountains with more spoils than they’d started. 

It had made him sick. 

That was the moment Tony decided to be a better man. A better king. He took pride in his unselfish rule and lack of war among those who shared the boundary with his kingdom. By a miracle he’d gotten Brock into line, but Obadiah had gotten a taste of power from his position in the Giant’s War and wanted more.

Rumors turned to plots, and all at once Tony knew his family and legacy was in danger. He had a troubled relationship with the Wakandans after one of his own barons killed their king in a quest for vengeance after the Giant’s War. Steve had volunteered as ambassador with the shadowy James Barnes (who’d long had a positive relationship with T’Challa) and they’d managed to broker a deal benefiting both nations. 

And Asgard. 

That was a whole other bag of complications. 

Odin had long been distrustful of Tony’s first wife, the late Queen Alexandra due to her Vanir lineage. The Asgardians had fought for centuries trying to eradicate what they’d seen as a dangerous race of uncontrollable magic users. 

Odin had been a step in the right direction, after replacing his late father, but the prejudices still remained and Tony’s marriage to one of the few remaining Vanir royals had soured what little relations they’d had. 

Still, in the end, they’d protected you when he so desperately needed help the Asgardians could only provide. To that, he’d offered her hand to the princes, and Odin took the offer into consideration, only backing off when an agreement was made between the two boys and yourself that affections lay elsewhere.

Which brought him to his latest challenge. Your engagement to the monster king, Brock Rumlow. 

The popular story was that he’d had his late wife killed when she hadn’t produced a male heir. Every female baby prior had been fed to the dogs and at last, when her fifth pregnancy had yielded yet another female, she fell mysteriously ill and died a few nights later. Some say a villager found the baby’s water logged corpse shortly after. 

From a strategic perspective, it made sense. You hadn’t been called upon by any serious suitors, often running around the kingdom with a begrudging Stephen on your coattails, and you were still young enough to bare a child or two. 

Brock needed a means of securing trust in the kingdom, and marrying one of its beloved daughters was the way to do it. Not to mention, Obadiah got his army, Peter would be overthrown when he attempted to take his birthright, and both men would share in the mutual benefits of being involved in one of the strongest economies in history. 

It was a clear cut plan for control of the kingdom, and it would have been more than enough for Tony to take action.

Except for one small caveat.

You. 

You’d been born of the same Vanir blood as your mother and even as a days old infant, you had shown the Master Sorceress at the time an insurmountable measure of power. 

It was an old and finicky magic, the woman had warned before your mother’s body had even cooled in bed. You would need trining, but there was no one left to provide. 

The Asgardians had been thorough in destroying the ancient texts and any remaining Vanir had long fallen into hiding, often using enchanted amulets and trinkets to conceal their seidr from those with wicked intentions. 

Your mother had been a victim of such vicious greed. She’d been open with her abilities, sharing a close bond with Orin’s own wife and his young son, Loki. The pair had conspired to learn all the forbidden secrets of the Vanir, and she’d begun to accumulate quite the library of resources from old temples and Asgardian burial tombs. 

Frigga helped her translate and in turn, the relationship with the royal families had warmed considerably until a few days before your birth. 

Things had fallen apart so quickly. The Northern Kree empire had infiltrated the castle after hearing rumors of the queen’s power. Someone had once written that a single drop of Vanir blood was worth thousands in gold pieces. A bandit had gotten through the gates while she labored, he had ambushed her in the birthing chambers and despite putting up an admirable fight- died with a dagger stabbed through her heart. 

The beast had tried to cut it free in front of the midwives. 

The Master Sorceress had only stepped from the room a moment to freshen up her herbal remedies. By the time anyone had made it to her side, she had died, and you’d been cut free of her with that same knife. 

“Your majesty?” Wanda inquired, approaching where he sat by the fire of the rebellion campsite.

“Yes?” He blinked up, returning to the present at hand. The men who were preparing for battle around him. The women sharpening weapons and sewing leather.  

The people he had asked to rise up for the betterment of the kingdom. The people who were prepared to die by his side for a secure future. 

“Master Strange is to meet at my cottage in the hour,” she explained. 

“And what would you advise Master Sorceress?” he asked, an amused expression on his face. “Shall we let him in on our secret?” 

“With less than seven days to the wedding, it might be wise,” she reasoned sardonically. “Natalia has her own mission in securing the support from within. Master Strange is working with Peter and Loki on securing the vulnerable.” 

“Do you think he told him?” Tony looked down at the fire pensively. 

“Who?” 

“Loki,” he clarified. “He and Master Mordo were among the few who knew. They had to have mentioned something to him. He’s- well- I’m not entirely sure what he is to her now, but he’s certainly one of the closest lines of protection to her.”

“Assuming the rune hasn’t already faded, I would think he either told him or Stephen found out for himself, my liege,” Wanda sat down on the log next to time, her gaze following his into the flames. “Her power is what Amora desires. It needs to be concealed until the princess is in safe hands.”

“Then he knows,” Tony decided, nodding to himself. “Amora would have done something stupid if the seidr had broken through completely. Someone is keeping it under control.”

“I’ll find out,” Wanda promised. “Would you like to speak to him?”

Tony made a disgruntled noise at the thought of approaching the sorcerer. House Strange had long served under the Stark banner, proudly riding at the front of the line when called upon for battle. When they sent their oldest to train at Kamar-Taj, Tony had been surprised.

The boy had a knack for strategy and was sharp as a needle point. Tony could have seen the young man easily rise in leadership in the house, ruling his own militiamen and managing the family affairs. 

But apparently he had no interest in it, and in an unorthodox fashion, the assets had been passed to their eldest daughter. 

Granted, in the end, none of that mattered- as the entire family estate had been stricken by a particularly nasty plague. The sole survivor was Stephen, who’d been away at Kamar-Taj when he’d gotten the news. 

He’d rushed home, and in the process gotten sick himself, but with the help of his fellow sorcerers, recovered with the only remnants of the illness remaining in his hands. He often told others it had been a riding accident. Only a select few knew the truth and devastation of his loss. 

Tony had met with the young man on his sickbed, assuring him the assets would remain in the family. That the castle would maintain the property while he fulfilled his obligations to Kamar-Taj. After all, there was no greater calling than to a life of service and compassion. It was the least Tony could do. 

Well, until you had scared off every Master to cross the castle threshold and he’d gotten desperate and asked the boy for a favor.

He should have known better. You were close in age. Equally as ambitious and cunning. For years you’d been sneaking through passages and around the villages at night, often with Natalia at your side. 

Stephen just made it easier, and helped Tony rest a little easier knowing the man would give his life for you, if need be. 

Tony wasn’t dumb. He’d seen it the first night the you had met. 

The sneaking smiles, the conspiratorial whispers in the corners of the ballroom, and when Peter’s cat turned into a lion almost identical to the Stark sigil, Tony knew that one day he might allow that young man to break the oaths he’d made for a single exception. 

“Your highness?” Wanda pried gently for a clearer answer. 

“Yes, I’ll speak to him,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. About a great many things.

(—)

“I somehow don’t believe you just found out about this,” you stated, sitting cross legged on one of the strewn about cushions, a teapot floating delicately from the palm of your hand. 

“I’ve learned a number of thing recently,” he replied dryly. “Like Mordo is alive, and Brock wants to kill Obadiah once you’re wed.”

You lost your focus and the cup shattered on the ground. 

“He what?” you gaped at Stephen while he repaired the ceramic cup with a wave of his hand. 

“It ties into the whole secret magic thing, but it really isn’t an ideal situation,” he explained, setting the cup aside and dropping to the cushion across from you. 

“I guess it’s good I’ve pestered you for your books over the years,” you mused, flexing your fingers in the air in front of you.

“It isn’t the same,” he sighed, watching while you lifted a few other stray objects and paused them between the two of you. “Seidr is... there isn’t documentation. The books were destroyed. Kamar-Taj had a few tomes but the Vanir language is nearly impossible to translate at this point.”

“What about Loki? Or Frigga?” you asked, moving both your hands at once and dropping a feather into his lap with a grin. 

“Believe it or not, I’ve been focused on other issues,” he muttered dryly. “We’re going to have to seal this before you leave.”

“But you said it’s what preventing Amora from taking over my head,” you reminded him pointedly, summoning a small flame from an incantation you’d studied the day before. Extinguishing it between your palms, you looked up at him for a better excuse. 

“But it is also the reason Brock is forcing you into a marriage and so she can control you, and in turn, your power better than you can,” he explained tersely. “She can’t know you’ve gotten partial control over it. Let her underestimate you, but until you can learn to conceal the energy yourself, you can’t risk exposure.”

“So am I being sealed or not?” you asked impatiently, floating a candle from you to him. He took it with an amused half-smile, extinguishing the light with a quick puff of air. “Can you do a... half seal? Hide the energy, keep some of the good parts?”

“Gods, I don’t know,” he groaned, shaking his head while he seat the canclde aside. “This is entirely new territory that I was not trained for.”

“That must mean you’re a terrible Sorcerer Supreme. What fool put you in charge?” you teased, reaching forward and tapping the top of his nose playfully. 

“It’s not my fault you’re a freakish anomaly that’s supposed to be extinct,” he mumbled, pulling a frown while you laughed. “Give me your wrist.”

“Fine, but when this over I demand you help me train properly,” you stated and though he  continued grumbling under his breath about being too old for your games, he agreed. “And Loki helps too.”

“Not part of the deal,” Stephen scowled. 

“Fine, I’ll marry him then,” you smirked back at him. “You still haven’t asked, so I guess when my wedding tragically falls through, I’ll have to find respite with him.”

He pulled you forward, a glint in his eyes that sent a shiver through your entire body. 

“I’m not going to chase after a betrothed woman, it’s bad taste,” he hummed, fingers crawling up your wrist and intertwining with your fingers. “I have a reputation to uphold, even if you feel comfortable hiding away with strange men in dark places.”

“Is that supposed to be a joke?” you whispered, sitting up on your knees and tilting your head.

“Do you not think I’m funny?” he murmured, reaching with his free head and tilting back your chin. A smile played on the corners of your mouth, both of you sizing the other up and daring the other to make the first move. 

“I can think of many things you are,” you lifted his hand and pressed a tender kiss to his palm. “But funny?”

“You laugh at all of my clever wit, don’t try to deceive me princess, I know the truth,” Stephen sharply pulled your hand forward, forcing you to fall into his chest. He held your lower back, gazing down at you adoringly. “You’re trying to hide it, but I see it in your eyes.”

“Do you know what I see in your eyes?” your voice cracked ever so slightly, your hand cradling his cheek, your thumb lightly tracing the sharp features. 

“What do you see?” 

“Strength,” you murmured, transfixed by his opalescent gaze. All at once, it was like you were seeing him for the first time. You could feel the energy radiating off of him, seeing the waves of magic as they ripples through his body. “Devotion to... Stephen you’re beautiful.”

“Or so the stars whisper to the earth below,” his voice was soft, gentle, while his hand guided itself up your arm to your cheek. “But, what the stars do not see is their own radiance, their own ethereal light shimmering across the velvet heavens above. The stars do not know how the Earth worships the very flicker of their existence, tells stories of their magnificence and beauty. The do not know how the Earth finds its meaning in what little time it steals away to them in the night.”

It all happened very quickly after that. 

You peeled at his robes, he worked at your corset, a frenzy of hands and mouths tasting one another in a way neither had ever imagined. 

Discarding the corset, he worked his hands up your blouse, fingers lightly teasing the tip of your nipple until you let out a satisfied moan. Robes loose, you pushed him back against a nearby pile of cushions, climbing between his legs and peppering hungry kisses up and down his neck until he growled, clawing at your hips. 

“If you’re-,” he tired protesting while you pulled away more clothing, pressing his leg between yours and letting out a whimper of pleasure when he shifted in just the right way. 

That seemed to set something off in him. 

He was over you, flipping you to the ground and pulling what little clothing remained between you, your naked bodies now flush. Stephen moved down to your breast, drawing a nipple between his teeth and watching you squirm under him at the incredible sensation. 

“Please,” you mewed, an absolute wreck under him. 

He took his time, moving to the other nipple and repeating his actions until you were begging for any kind of release. 

“Needy are we?” he murmured in your ear, his voice low and so controlled, you couldn’t understand how he could stand it. Goosebumps erupted over your body, and he just smirked, continuing his exploration.  

Teasing a finger at your entrance, he looked to you for final approval before easing the digit into you. 

“Gods,” he hissed, moving the finger at an agonizingly slow speed. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes upon.”

He caught you in a kiss, speeding up his hand below, his thumb searching for the sensitive nub of nerves. When he grazed over the tender area, you nearly shot out of yourself, the sensation feeling downright sinful. 

Pulling his finger out, you let out another whimper, this one of protest at the emptiness inside of you. 

“Are you certain-?” he asked again, eyes scanning your face for any sign of hesitation or doubt. 

“I’ve never been more certain of anything,” you replied honestly. It wasn’t an exaggeration. You’d been a make up to this point, untouched and with no interest in engaging in such outrageous behavior.

Yet with him, you wished you could give more. Your body. Your soul. Your love. What did it matter anymore? He was yours, sitting before you and showing you through his loving car assess and sensations you’d never known before this moment. 

He eased himself in, giving you time to adjust to his length, the member much larger than his single finger. But Gods, did he feel incredible. 

You’d never thought so much emotion and pleasure could occur in a single moment. For this tiny hidden corner of the universe, you felt like your souls had collided and merged. 

It was a far cry from how Nat had told you it was. 

This was- you anticipated each of his movements, raising your hips to meet his as he crashed inside of you. Your brain couldn’t form coherent thoughts and when he started to coax something feral from within your core, you let him lead you through it. 

Pumping in time with strokes to your clit, you clenched your walls around him, pulling a hissed curse from the sorcerer. 

A few more pumps and a final circle around the sensitive area and you felt your orgasm crash over you. 

At first, you thought you’d done something wrong. Did you break something? How did this feel so incredible and overwhelming all at once? 

While you rode out your bliss, you felt his hips tighten, finishing with a final grunt.

You both stated at one another, eyes wide, trying to catch your breath. 

“Have you-,” you started but paused. “Like that before-?” 

It was no secret Stephen wasn’t exactly a virgin. He had his vows but they were against attachment, not sex, and sometimes, as he put it, the spirit needed to be revitalized. 

You’d called him a creep and moved on, but Gods did you understand now. 

“I don’t know what happened,” he blinked, looking thoroughly bewildered. “That’s... I’ve never- my gods, you’re incredible.”

He pulled out, dropping to the ground next to you with a huff. 

“I have a potion,” he muttered, pointing to the table above them. “Prevents pregnancy.”

“And here I thought you were devoted to me,” you poked him in the rib and he just laughed. 

“I am,” he insisted. “However, I’m not devoted enough to end up in the gallows for deflowering a princess who is betrothed to a ruthless king. My apologies, my grace.”

“Hm, I’m sure I can find someone willing to make that sacrifice for me,” you hummed. 

“And a fool he will be,” he leaned up on his elbow. “I still win the day. He would be hanged and I still get my princess.”

“Your princess?” 

“Has it been any other way?” he asked, quirking a brow. “Truly, if I’m mistaken, tell me. I don’t want to sound too over ambitious.”

You considered it briefly. Had it? 

No, you knew from the moment you spied those eyes at the ball welcoming him to the castle that he was your future. You just hadn’t realized what that meant at the time. 

There was no world, no life, where you could live without him by your side. 

The thought sobered you quickly, your upcoming nuptials springing to mind, the spell locking you in your private world, now lifted. 

“Would you have asked my father?” you asked. 

“In another life, we would have been married by now,” he answered earnestly. “I’m a fool for having hesitated and nearly missed my chance at an eternity by your side.” 

“And Brock?” you asked, the name leaving a sour taste in your mouth. Stephen’s expression darkened at mention of the man. 

“I’ll kill him before he touches you,” he vowed. “I will not yield your heart to such a monster, and I will stop this. I cannot risk you leaving my side. Not again, my love.”

You leaned forward and kissed him, soft, intimate, and gentle. Stephen wasn’t a fighter. 

Certainly he could fight, but you knew him well enough to know that violence was a last option after all other options had been tried. And here he was preparing to declare a one man war on your betrothed. 

Truly, the heavens were smiling upon you in this life.

(—)

Later that evening, when Stephen had returned you safely to your quarters, he met with Wanda at her cottage at the edge of the woods to discuss the next steps in the plan. 

When she caught sight of him, her expression shifted from confused to elated to-

“What is it?” he asked, knowing she’d gotten a read of what he’d been up to previously. 

“Do well to conceal your thoughts,” she warned, leading him inside. 

“Conceal what-?” he asked after her, stopping in his tracks when he saw Anthony sitting at her table, sipping at a large horn of water. 

Tony stood up, giving the man a once over, brows raised as he took him in. 

“You couldn’t wait until the wedding night?” he grumbled, dropping back down in his chair with a long sigh. 

(—)

8- a secret

TAG LIST (message to be added!):

@ayamenimthiriel​ @ladynothing

@im-a-bi-disaster-help @idkwhatthisislol

[aimoosh-blog]

BERSERK: A MASTERSTROKE IN VIOLENCE

Berserk is a series that is both influential and overlooked. This might sound pretentious to fans of the gory medieval anime, but hear me out. Despite having a long-running manga which was originally released back in the ‘90's, after two anime series, a trilogy of movies and various video game adaptations, Berserk still remains somewhat niche and obscure.

The series is known for its gruesome imagery and I would strongly advise that if you've experienced abuse or are easily affected by violent and distressing material, that this series simply isn't for you. However, it's this cycle of violence that makes Berserk so compelling. 

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and the Soulsborne series doesn't shy away from this. Hidetaka Miyazaki has openly discussed how Berserk inspired games like Dark Souls and Bloodborne and you don't have to look far to find Berserk's influence spread throughout the Souls series.

But when you think of your favourite hefty sword-wielding himbo, I'm sure Guts isn't the first to spring to mind. Before we get into the debate of who wore it better, let's talk about Berserk's creator.

The most distinct and memorable aspect of Berserk is the apparent pleasure the series takes with relishing visceral imagery which is brought to life by Kentaro Miura. Berserk's first volume was released in 1990 when Miura was twenty-two years old. At this point in his life, Miura was already experienced within the industry after having written his first manga at the age of ten and eventually self-publishing in 1982.

With his experience and indisputable style, Miura's abhorrent rendition of the numerous satanic beasts and mythological creatures that populate the bloodthirsty world of Berserk, are both horrifying and captivating. The series manages to succeed in simultaneously being horrendously violent and strikingly beautiful. This parallel is prominent throughout the story and feeds the reader/viewer with a morbid curiosity.

The first and most obvious juxtaposition can be found in Guts' and Griffith's appearance. If you put Berserk in front of a newbie, they would most likely assume that the androgynous Griffith was the series’ main hero.

With his petite frame, feminine features, and charismatic charm, he certainly looks the part of a typical anime protagonist. Especially when set side by side with Guts who's hulking physique, stoic disposition, and hardened exterior is a stark contrast to the Hawk of Light. But scratch the surface and you'd find something entirely different.

Once you pull back the curtain and look beyond his angelic façade, you'd uncover Griffith's selfish, almost sociopathic personality which is accompanied with an unyielding ambition to stop at nothing until he achieves his dream. In contrast, Guts’ intimidating appearance and seemingly aloof attitude are a front concealing a lonely and tormented individual.

Shrouded by death, Guts was born from the corpse of his executed mother and eventually discovered by a group of mercenaries, who find the infant beneath a hanging tree covered in blood and entrails. The baby is presumed to be dead until he begins to cry, to which prostitute Shisu immediately rushes to comfort the child and is permitted to keep the newborn by leader Gambino. The baby is given the name Guts after the gory manner in which he was found. However, many members of the group are unsettled by Guts’ arrival and consider it a bad omen. 

Shisu had been deemed mad following her miscarriage and quickly became attached to Guts as a result. The pair seemed destined to meet but their happiness is tragically short-lived as three years later, Guts’ adoptive mother contracts the plague and dies while Guts watches over her. Unfortunately Shisu’s death only strengthens rumors about Guts’ reputation as a source of bad luck.

Guts promptly begins practicing swordsmanship and joins Gambino on the battlefield in an effort to gain approval. However, one night while Guts is sleeping in his tent, fellow sellsword Donovan, sneaks in and forces himself on the young boy. Guts later lures his abuser away and forces his sword down Donovan’s throat, killing him. No longer feeling safe, Guts begins to sleep clutching his sword.

Guts’ relationship with Gambino rapidly deteriorates following Shisu’s death. Gambino resents Guts for the subsequent loss of his leg and fixates on the misfortune that seems to have followed the boy. Gambino soon begins to verbally and physically abuse Guts, and consequently makes an attempt on Guts’ life. It’s in this moment that Gambino confesses that he had sold Guts to Donovan for the night. 

Horrified by this revelation, Guts is forced to kill his paternal figure in an act of self-defence and is hunted down by Gambino's men. After narrowly escaping with his life and defending himself against a pack of wolves, Guts eventually falls unconscious. The cycle begins again as he is discovered and enlisted by a separate mercenary group where he becomes a child soldier.

After surviving battlefield to battlefield, Guts eventually crosses paths with the Band of the Hawk. Impressed by his skills, leader Griffith, openly expresses that he is eager for Guts to join the Band of the Hawk. Guts agrees to this proposal but only if Griffith defeats him in a duel. Much to Guts’ disgust, he is defeated and begrudgingly joins the new group of mercenaries. But soon finds himself at home among his companions within the Band of the Hawk and is swiftly promoted to Captain of the Raiders.

It is clear that Guts is conflicted in the first arc of the story. After years of coping with isolation and abuse, he is torn between carving his own path or sticking with the Band of the Hawk. It's safe to say that whether you read the manga or watch the anime, the series doesn't sugar-coat the trauma Guts is forced to endure. But despite everything, Guts still carries on and it’s his mental fortitude that makes him such a sympathetic character.

But after forming strong friendships and concealing an unrequited love, it's Guts' decision to leave the Band of the Hawk and break free of Griffith's control that ultimately leads to The Band of the Hawk's downfall.

Amidst this complicated bromance you have Casca. A seasoned warrior who commands the respect of The Band of the Hawk and is Griffiths right hand – that is until Guts steals the spotlight. This setup may sound like a clichéd love triangle but Casca plays a crucial role in Berserk. Without her, Guts would've likely given up following the aftermath of the eclipse. She is the driving force in the story, feeding Guts' lust for revenge.

If you're considering checking out Berserk, I can highly recommend the manga as the best way to consume the series, as you are able to see Miura hone his craft over the years and create some truly remarkable panels. Another benefit is that with over 300 chapters, you'll have more than enough content to keep you occupied. But if that's not your style you have a few options to choose from.

The Golden Age Arc Film Trilogy concisely summaries the first narrative arc, if you want to get up to speed quickly. The larger budget in the subsequent movies allows for less 3D animation and more stunning hand-drawn sequences. However, if you have the time and patience for it, the 1997 adaptation spares no details and has an alluring nostalgic 90's aesthetic, if you can forgive it being a little rough around the edges.

Whichever version you decide to pick if you still can't get enough, I would advise saving the 2016 Berserk anime for last. Not only because it takes place after the first arc and follows the aftermath of the eclipse, but fans of the series have openly criticised this version's cheap animation style that fails to do justice to Miura’s concepts.

As previously mentioned, Berserk is unashamed in its cruelty and some might say the series renowned violence is needlessly excessive. Although this may seem off-putting, Berserk also has it's softer moments. It's in these more subdued scenes that you're drawn deeper into the fascinating narrative.

If asked how best to describe the series, I would say that it's the love child of Japanese horror artist, Junji Ito and fantasy author, George R. R. Martin. The medieval-fantasy setting allows for breath-taking architecture and scenery which often resembles Salvador Dali's surrealist paintings, but inhabited with monsters from Hieronymus Bosch's famous works such as The Harrowing of Hell. It's this contrast that makes Berserk so bewitching, in the thick of all the violence, gore, and carnage, you have a tragic story bursting with drama, rivalry, betrayal, lost love, and most importantly, revenge.

But if The Last of Us Part 2 taught us anything about seeking revenge, it is that it comes at a high price. However, the story remains largely unfinished with the current hiatus and recent chapter having been released as far back as 2019, it's uncertain when we'll see how this revenge story will play out. Nevertheless much like the A Song of Fire and Ice series, having no ending has its positives...

[danger-xylophones]

Family Reunion Part 7. The Child

{Masterlist}

Notes: I screwed up the timeline of Star Wars because I didn’t think about it so, sorry. 

Ps. I stan big-brother Therapist Opress

Warnings: Swearing, reader is a panicky mess for a little bit, some suggestive language

Words: 3246

Taglist: @and-claudia // @tararuthven // @ravenclawlegacy // @noiralei // @pinkiemme // @darthsmol

<- Previous

………………………………….

Forever 

Forever indeed. It felt like Maul had been gone for forever. You hadn’t seen him in two months and they were some of the most excruciating months you’d ever lived through. What made it worse were the few and far between calls late at night that only made your aching for your unofficial husband grow. You were legitimately becoming concerned for as the time stretched on without contact, you began to feel sicker. Was it possible to get sick from missing someone? Is that what people meant when they described someone as ‘lovesick’? 

“Y/n, are you sure you are alright?” Ki-Adi’s voice shook you to the core as you were forced to refocus on the fact that you were currently in the middle of a duel with him. Your master had lowered his saber, one hand held up to stop you from pressing your advantage while he questioned you. 

“I’m fine, Master.” The reply was immediate and spoken without thought. You knew you were just being dramatic and that your life had to go on when Maul wasn’t around. You were to become a Jedi. He was a Sith Lord. Divergence from each other was what founded your relationship and when that manifested in not seeing each other for months, you had to learn to deal with it. The whole ‘feeling sick because my husband isn’t here to hold me’ thing was getting old fast. 

Your husband....gods, those words didn’t seem real. Legally binding or not, the fact of the matter was that you had married Maul in total secrecy two months ago. You could remember the moment he claimed you as his wife so clearly that on the most lonely nights it seemed to become the only thing that was real and untainted by hypocrisy, hubris, and politics. The knowledge that you were the only one who would ever know the feel of Maul’s hands on your hips, or the gentle nudge of his nose against your own as he pressed his lips to yours, or even how solid he felt when buried in-

You internally shook your head. Yes, the knowledge that you were the only one that would ever know how any of that felt was...intoxicating. And you were selfish. Maul’s love was a drug and you were the only one that had access to it. 

“Are you sure? You seem very distracted.” Ki-Adi continued, blocking the strike you levied at his side. 

“I’m. Fine.” You seethed, frustrated at your mind for wandering and at your body for how poorly you were fighting. 

Ki-Adi sheathed his saber and raised an eyebrow at you, hands finding a place clasped behind his back. He was disappointed. You sighed and sheathed your green saber as well, already preparing for the inevitable lecture. “I do not believe you, Y/n. You haven’t been acting like yourself since we returned from negotiations on Toydaria.” Ki-Adi stepped forward to grasp your shoulder, communicating his concern more clearly than his perpetually calm voice would allow. “Did something happen?” 

You shifted on your feet, knowing you would have to lie. There was no way you could tell him that you were lovesick but you could explain the physical symptoms your predicament had manifested. “No, master, nothing happened. Just...I don’t know how to explain it.” You carded a hand through your hair briefly. “For the past few weeks, I haven’t felt...like myself?” You tried, looking into your master’s calm face. 

Ki-Adi’s brows furrowed. There was no condemnation in his eyes, only curiosity. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean...I can’t remember the last time I got a good night’s worth of rest. For some reason, certain smells have been bothering me lately, I’m so tired all the time-yesterday I passed out in the library and Madame Jocasta had to walk me to my room because I couldn’t walk more than a few steps without feeling nauseous.” You let out an angry huff directed at the strange reactions your body was having to the absence of Maul. “But, every time I’ve considered going to the healers to see what is going on, the symptoms vanish.”

Ki-Adi was quiet for a moment as he digested the revelation. “Do you know what might be causing these reactions?” He eventually asked, taking a seat in the middle of the mat you had been fighting on. You followed his lead, sticking your chin in one hand and propping your elbow on your bended knee while your free hand toyed with a rogue string on your robe. You shook your head, eyes boring into the ground. “Are you, perhaps, nervous for the Trials?” 

You shook your head again, straightening up. “No, I mean...I am just a bit nervous but I know that these reactions aren’t originating from that. I was more nervous about making my second lightsaber and this never happened.” Your stomach gave an almighty lurch all of a sudden which caused you to clasp your hand over your mouth, the other shooting to your stomach. But, just as quickly as it had come upon you, the sensation vanished leaving you and your perplexed master. You groaned in frustration, almost wishing you would just vomit so that whatever was going on would cease. Ki-Adi sent you a sympathetic frown, helping you to your feet. “If I may forgo discretion, master?” He hummed to tell you it was alright. “I spoke with Luminara Unduli and she posited that it could just be an intense bout of pms. Which would make sense…” Because I’m late…Like,...two months late. And with that realization, a whole new plethora of issues became very likely possibilities. No, no...we...Maul and I aren’t even the same species. That can’t happen...or can it? Zabraks are classified as Near-human. In theory, we could...no, no. 

“Hmm, this is troubling. May I suggest that you go to the healers, Padawan? Even if Master Unduli is correct, I think it would be wise to receive confirmation.” Ki-Adi, ever tranquil in his approach, thankfully rescued you from the spiraling panic now coiling in your chest. “Come, I will escort you there.” 

…………………………………….

“Y/n?” Savage’s rumbling baritone voice pulled you back to reality and you suddenly realized that you had been zoned out for a very long time. When had you started deep cleaning the ship? Looking away from the floor of the cockpit you had started diligently scrubbing, you met the towering zabrak’s questioning gaze as he leaned against the doorway. “Are you alright? You’ve been cleaning incessantly since you woke up.”  

Briefly letting your eyes flicker over the various cleaning supplies strewn around you, you shrugged, mouth feeling dry. “I...I guess.” With a little more focus, you returned to scrubbing, eager for some distraction. “I’ve just...been lost in thought, I guess.” 

“I noticed.” Savage stated bluntly whilst crossing his arms. “I’m worried about you, sister.” You paused at his words, momentarily closing your eyes as you collected yourself. You could hear him approaching, long strides echoing around the small area as he neared until he crouched next to you and gently worked the rag out of your hands. “You have not been yourself for the past few days.” Your eyes snapped open and slid to the side to meet Savage’s gaze. His brow was worked into a frown and one of his large hands was hesitantly reaching out, as though he was unsure if he was allowed to console through touch. 

Opting to let him in, you reached out and grabbed his hand. “I’m afraid seeing Maul in this state has...drained me. I just needed a reprieve and I guess shutting down was the way I went about achieving that.” As you spoke, you let your thumbs dig into his palm while you used him as an anchor. “And,” glancing around Savage to see into the makeshift sleeping area the three of you had set up, you took note of how Wild was still completely passed out which made it safe to make your confession, “and it isn’t helped by the lying on my end. I want to tell Wild the truth, but I’m terrified of how he’ll react. He’s lived his whole life believing his father to be dead. What will he do when he finds out that he’s not and that he was, in fact, a Sith Lord? I don’t want him to go into shock over it but how the hell am I supposed to adjust him to the idea organically?” You muttered more to yourself than to Savage who was still patiently crouched next to you, happily lending an ear. 

Savage’s breathing was the only thing you could hear, low and steady like the breath of a mythical beast. It was soothing to hear something other than your own panicked thoughts. “I wish I knew how to help you, Y/n. I care for Wild and I care for you too. The three of you are the only kin I have left.” He sighed and finally took a seat beside you, still allowing you to toy with his hand. 

“I hadn’t thought about that...how are you holding up?” You tried carefully, releasing Savage’s hand when he gently tugged it away from you. 

“Not well, if I am to be completely honest. Though-I have the benefit of not remembering what Maul used to be like.” Savage’s voice dropped to barely above a whisper. 

Not entirely sure where to go from here, you opted to voice the most pressing anxiety that plagued you without ceasing. “Do you really think Mother Talzin will be able to help him?” 

“Help him? No. Bring back Darth Maul? Yes.” 

……………………………………..

“Padawan L/n, these results are...most concerning.” The words falling from the Mirialan healer are...disconcerting which causes you to sit up, propping yourself on your elbows as you rise from the bed to watch her movements. 

“Why?” You ask, sitting up a little further as your panic makes a resurgence. “What’s wrong? What do they say?” She didn’t reply nor did she turn to look at you as she raised a hand and flicked her fingers in unison to beckon you over. You swung your legs over the edge of the bed and walked over to the screen that was displaying the results of the full-body scan she had run to pinpoint the epicenter of your troubles. The particular area of interest was a position that was decidedly not your stomach like you thought it would be. Oh no. “W-...what does that mean?” You asked, trembling. Your throat was swiftly closing up as you continued to stare at the red circle that blinked placidly above your uterus. 

“Y/n, you know what it means. Coupling the scan with your other symptoms, I think the issue is impossible to deny or misinterpret.” The Mirialan was bristling as she spoke, the sympathy draining from her voice with every word till it was sucked dry of any humanity. “I must inform the council immediately.” 

Inform the...shit. Whirling around faster than you thought humanly possible and leaping over the bed, you practically tackled the healer to keep her from leaving the room. “Dariada, listen to me. I don’t know how this happened.” You attempted to explain, hands grasping her left forearm in a vice. 

She made a noise of utter indignation that echoed in your head. “You don’t-how could you not know?! You slept with a man, Padawan L/n, that’s how this happened. You broke the code! They’ll expel you from the order for this!” She was livid. 

“They could if I had broken the code! But I didn’t! I didn’t sleep with anyone!” Liar. Liar. This baby’s mother is a liar. Maul, fuck, where are you? One hand shot to your front, gently laying over where your womb was. “There was no one. I swear.” 

“That doesn’t happen, Y/n. You had to have slept with someone.” Dariada shot back, hood dangerously close to flying off. Her vibrant green skin was a shade darker from the blood rushing to it in her anger. You had never liked Dariada, she was always far too self-righteous, but you liked her even less now. With what could only be described as a snarl, she wrenched her arm free and grabbed both of your wrists in an iron grip, already marching her way out of the hall and dragging you along with her. She held true to her word and informed the council of the...situation. 

Soon you were standing in the middle of the council members, begging for them to believe you that there had been no one. The lie felt like poison on your tongue, it seeped into your own system just as it flew at the council members. Plo Koon was the first to believe you. “I can sense much fear in you, padawan. Why?” The Kel Dor had asked amidst your muffled sobs. There was no hint of condemnation in his modulated voice, but, instead, compassion and empathy. 

“With all due respect, Master Plo, I just found out that I’m pregnant and I can’t even explain how it happened. I am not ashamed to admit I am terrified of what is to become of my baby.” You turned towards him, hiccuping and blubbering throughout your confession. 

“Only your baby?” Plo Koon asked, raising the ridge where his eyebrow would be. You were painfully aware of the gazes of each individual master on you. Ki-Adi’s was the heaviest of them all. 

With a swallow, you attempted to calm your nerves. Maul could help you. Maul would help you. You just had to get in touch with him. But what would his master do to him, to your baby? The tears began anew. “Only my baby. I can be expelled from the order and find a way to survive but what of them?” No answer was needed for your question. The implications were clear. 

“Padawan, approach.” Master Yoda’s voice called to you as he beckoned you closer with his three-fingered hand. His expression was unreadable. You did as he commanded and the old master closed his eyes and held his hand out in front of him when you were little more than a foot away from him. “A child of the Force, the babe is. Clouded is their future.” The grandmaster sighed heavily, letting his head and hand fall in time. “Expel her, we cannot. Powerful will the child be. We must not let either of them fall to the dark side.” Murmurs fell from the masters, sneaking past you as they slipped from loose lips. 

“But is she telling the truth, Master Yoda?” Master Tinn was the one to voice the question on all of their minds. 

“She has to be, Master Tinn.” It was Ki-Adi who spoke in your defense. “Dariada said that she was approaching nine weeks, in that time, the only instances where Y/n has left my sight was when she was in the temple. Y/n is predisposed to the light side and has never broken the code before, to assume that she would to this extent is unwise and unfair to my padawan.” You sent Ki-Adi a grateful smile as he rose from his chair and approached to stand beside you in front of his fellow masters. 

“What are you suggesting we do then, Master Mundi?” Mace Windu asked from your right. 

“Put Y/n’s training on hold and postpone the trials. We will keep her in the temple to watch over her and when the baby comes, I think it would be wise to look into training them.” Ki-Adi offered swiftly to muttered agreements. 

With a tap of his staff, Yoda called the room to him. “A wise decision that is, Master Mundi. Watch her closely, you must. Now,” He focused on you, eyes penetrating your defenses till his gaze seared into you, “fetch Master Qui-Gon Jinn, young padawan, know something of this occurrence, he might.” You dipped your head to bid the council farewell before skirting away from them. As you fled the meeting area, one thought remained. Where are you, Maul? 

…………………………………………………

Maul was being a nuisance. You had gone into the cargo hold in search of more ration bars and thought that he had still been asleep. You were correct, he was still in the same place you had left him last night. Or he had been until Savage came stomping in after you and woke him up. Now, he was acting like a feral tooka; hissing and spitting at Savage while you, once again, trapped behind him. Savage had backed off with his hands up to show surrender but Maul hadn’t relented and you were rather fed up with it. “Savage, go get me a damp cloth, I’ll try to calm him down.” You ordered whilst nodding your head to Maul. Savage was eager to help calm his brother and so, swiftly backed out. 

Meanwhile, you worked to soothe Maul once more, delicately coaxing him to lay down with his torso across your lap. Gentle purrs rumbled in his chest while you worked your hand into the perpetually tense muscles in his back. Savage entered once more, quietly this time, and handed the cloth he had gotten to you. You used the rag to dab at the junctures of Maul’s body. You hoped the motion would be soothing. His fever had broken sometime during the night but you were still trying to ensure he was kept comfortable for the remainder of the journey. 

Before the silence could persist for much longer, Savage broke it as he leaned on some stacked crates across from you. “Did Wild mention the tattoos to you?” 

Looking away from Maul and to the door to the hold, you made sure the three of you were alone. “Yes, he told me he had been talking to you about Dathomir and the Nightbrothers.” You brought your gaze back to Savage who seemed a little hesitant to continue talking. 

“Did...did he tell you why?” You shook your head. Savage sighed heavily and slid down to be seated. “I’m afraid Wild suspects we are hiding something from him.” 

“I knew he’d start to.” You muttered under your breath, subconsciously gripping the cloth tighter. “Did he say anything?” 

Savage shook his head, “No, but he was asking a lot of questions regarding Maul. I answered as many as I could.”

“Wild’s always been perceptive, I knew we couldn’t hide this forever. But, did he tell you why he wanted more? He told me you had offered to help him.” 

The yellow zabrak groaned, pulling one knee up to use as an armrest as he averted his gaze to Maul who had taken to playing with your free hand. “All he said was that he could feel something coming, something monumental.” 

Your brows furrowed. That was...news. Why hadn’t he talked to you about this? Probably because you’ve been keeping secrets from him, you lying piece of-

The door suddenly slid open to reveal the boy of the hour. His...cold saffron eyes zeroed in on Maul before flicking away to Savage and then yourself. His face was stiff. “We’re approaching Dathomir, I took the liberty of starting landing procedures.” His voice was clipped and serious, more than it normally was. With one last glare at Maul, he turned and stalked towards the cockpit. 

<- Previous | Next ->

[vajranam]

Giving Up On Meat

Song of Advice for Giving Up Meat Eating

by Nyala Pema Dündul

When I think of the suffering that meat eating brings,

I cannot bear the pain and anguish I feel within my heart.

Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ hrīḥ!

From a state of emptiness and compassion, you guide beings — 

Noble Avalokiteśvara, to you I pay homage.

Without having trained in love and compassion myself,

I ate the flesh of my mothers while lecturing others about cause and effect.

Without realizing the absolute, I wandered along the path of empty words.

I, the parrot-like beggar of White Rock,

Was practicing austerities and ‘extracting the essence’,[1]

When, one day, while meditating on Lord Avalokiteśvara,

According to the union of stages from Self-Liberation Equal to Space,[2]

My own body and everything around me suddenly disappeared

And transformed into a luminous body like that of the Great Compassionate One,

Seemingly floating in space.

As I looked around while experiencing luminous awareness,

I saw the inconceivable miseries of the lower realms.

And, in particular, the vast sufferings of the Reviving Hell.

One of its quarters, I saw, was completely filled

With men and women, naked and helpless, before each of whom

Stood throngs of evil-looking servants with heads

Like birds, wild and domesticated animals, and ferocious beasts.

Many of the servants held sharp weapons in their hands,

With which to slice apart and devour the flesh of their victims.

Time and again they cut, and time and again flesh grew back.

Victims did not expire until their karma was fully exhausted,

And habitual tendencies did not diminish, but only increased.

For those who had performed ‘red offerings’ it was even worse.

Loudly, they all screamed in terrible pain and agony.

When I had seen this external manifestation of my own perception,

I wondered what might be done to stop such suffering.

And, in that very instant, in the sky before me,

The Great Compassionate One appeared, and said:

“Ema! My son, who has been close to me throughout many lives,

Listen well now, you who are diligent and determined!

You have gained stability in the generation stage of deity yoga,

And have even developed a few qualities,

But the root of Dharma lies in loving kindness and compassion.

Do you have real love and compassion within yourself?

How could anyone trained in compassion ever eat flesh?

Just look at how eating meat brings such suffering!

The results of our own actions will ripen on us alone;

There is nothing the buddhas of the three times may do.

Eating meat has no virtue whatsoever but entails many faults.

It is the source of 400 forms of disease and 80,000 obstructing forces,

And it naturally brings about the 84,000 afflictive emotions.

Other than as part of the fearless conduct of benefitting all one encounters,

Or as a medicine or sacred substance of the supreme Secret Mantra,

Consumption of flesh involves not the tiniest trace of virtue.

Eating flesh is a sign of being either a māra or rākṣasa demon.

It causes discipline to degenerate and negative emotions to increase.

Without the cause, which is altruistic love and compassion,

You will find it hard to gain the fruit, the essence of awakening.

Meat eaters are not accompanied by the wisdom deities.

They lack blessings, accomplishment, auspiciousness and activity.

The substance of altruism does not develop in eaters of flesh,

Whom gods, nāgas and others regard as demons.

Meat eaters are plagued by gandharvas, rākṣasas, māras,

Yamas, ghosts, spirits, gyalpo, gongpo, and samaya-breaking demons.

The result of eating meat is rebirth in the hells,

Or as a bird, a jackal, a cannibal demon, or the like.

Meat eating thus brings suffering beyond measure.

But by renouncing it, you are freed from all these faults,

And will always be revered by non-human beings,

Who will see you as a pure, authentic brahmin or god.

All the buddhas and bodhisattvas, together with their retinues, throughout the ten directions,

Gurus, yidam deities and ḍākinīs will gather around you like clouds,

And you will be accompanied by male and female bodhisattvas.

Quite naturally, you will possess the cause of loving kindness and compassion,

And swiftly reach the fruit, which is the essence of awakening.

These are just some of the inconceivable virtues to be gained.”

Thus he spoke; and then, once my own perception had returned,

I felt as if I had awakened from a lucid dream.

My body and mind were tormented as if I had swallowed poison,

And I shook with fear and panic.

Just thinking of the terrible sufferings of the Reviving Hell,

I wished only to exchange my happiness for others’ pain.

So utterly overwhelmed was my mind, I wept profusely.

And I felt intense, unbearable compassion.

Then, to take upon myself the sufferings of others,

And to purify their faults and obscurations caused by eating meat,

For every mother sentient being, as infinite in number as space is vast,

I made the following vow, true according to the two levels of reality:

“Aho! Mighty sage Śākyamuni and all buddhas and bodhisattvas throughout the whole of space and time,

Have compassion for this child who knew nothing of cause and effect!

Hosts of gracious root and lineage masters, care for me!

Have compassion for this child who knew nothing of cause and effect!

Supreme yidam deity, mighty Avalokiteśvara, care for me!

Have compassion for this child who knew nothing of cause and effect!

Overwhelmed by ignorance and the two obscurations,

I have often spoken of how all infinite beings have been our parents,

And while living off their flesh, lectured about cause and effect.

I had no idea that the suffering involved was so great!

Often have I heard it said that eating meat with threefold purity[3]

Is sanctioned by the Buddha and does not count as sin.

But this applies only to saints who benefit all they encounter,

Like pure lotus flowers, unstained by negative emotions,

And to practitioners of the profound path of Secret Mantra.

For my part, I have no instruction more profound

Than altruistic love and compassion,

And the infallibility of cause and effect.

To purify all the faults and obscurations of eating flesh

Among all sentient beings, who extend throughout the whole of space,

From this moment on, I completely renounce the eating of flesh.

This is my unfailing commitment, which I shall never forsake.

Even if all the animals upon this earth were to be devoured,

There would still be no satisfaction; hunger would only continue to increase.

Deprived of food or drink for just a few days,

We feel as if we have never tasted even so much as a single morsel or drop before.

Now is the time to escape this demon, hunger.

What, after all, is the cause of this flesh?

It springs only from self-clinging and attachment.

Merely to think of it makes me weary, nauseated.

This utterly unappetizing mound of mess and filth,

Bound up with the thirty-six impure substances,

A body of habitual patterns and aggregates, is the basis for all suffering.

Each animal has its own negative actions,

And whoever eats the flesh of such beings will find it hard to win liberation.

Meat and alcohol are impure substances,

And to offer them does not count as generosity, the Buddha said.

Who, therefore, would eat this food of the afflictions?

Pretas must live for many thousands of human years

Without seeing food or drink, enduring only suffering.

But we human beings gladly drink even ice-cold water,

And have plenty to sustain us besides meat and alcohol.

If we are still not satisfied by such delights,

How could we repay past kindnesses so unfairly?

Throughout the course of countless aeons past

In every world within this universe so vast,[4]

There’s not a single being who has not been our mother.

And the milk we drank from maternal breasts would fill a billion seas.

I abandon all pretence; let the Three Jewels be my witness!

In the past, under the sway of ignorance and habit,

I ate my parents’ flesh and did not remorsefully confess.

Now with pure motivation and the four powers complete,

As in the saying, “I was not, am not, and will not be attached,”

Henceforth, may the thought of eating meat never even cross my mind.

Should I ever fail, let the Three Jewels send their punishment.

May the protectors and guardians constantly keep watch.

Were I now to eat the flesh of my past mothers,

There would be no greater transgressor in all the three realms!

The Buddha said that harming others even slightly impairs one's vows.

So what need is there to mention flesh eating which involves taking life?

In the Parinirvāṇa Sūtra, Laṅkāvatāra and elsewhere, it is said

That eating meat is tantamount to killing.

It is forbidden in both the greater and lesser vehicles,

But is particularly unacceptable for bodhisattvas.

Our Teacher himself, when he appeared as a partridge’s young,

And as a ferocious beast[5] in the wild, would not eat meat.

How then could we, his followers, ever do so?

In accordance with the guidance of the Victorious One,

There were many great masters in India and Tibet who gave up meat.

As all this shows, the faults of meat eating are unimaginably vast.

Not cultivating negativity is itself genuine Dharma.

So may I always comply with the authentic teaching!"

Having seen the boundless faults that come from eating meat,

Even the thought of it is as nauseating as poison.

And so, I, the great beggar with the name of Dündül,

Composed these words of advice to encourage my own renunciation

In the Sky Fortress hermitage of White Rock.

As a result of this virtue, may all sentient beings

Purify all the faults and obscurations that come from eating meat,

So that they may see the thousand buddhas face to face!

| Translated by Adam Pearcey, with many thanks to Ringu Tulku Rinpoche for his clarifications. Original translation 2004. Revised version 2017.

[debiteful]

A little collection of various creatures seeking comfort in the night. Lots of sleeping preds, lots of soft vore, a few nightmares, and many concepts!

Dragon's Cave

A dragon seeks comfort in their partner's pouch after a bad dream.

Content: same size, pouch vore, male dragon "pred", female dragon "prey", sleeping "pred", detailed belly bulge(/vacuum sealed prey)

Little Comfort Goes a Long Way

Having trouble relaxing, a giant turns to his little friend.

Content: size difference, soft vore, safe vore, mouthplay, male giant pred, nb tiny prey, unaware vore

Soothing Snack

A little bear his giant friend is having some disturbed sleep, so he goes in to give her favourite kind of affection.

Content: soft vore, giant female pred, unaware pred, tiny male prey, belly rubs, anthro bear characters, painless digestion, reformation

Unaware Saviour

A frantic little family hides from danger past the maw of a sleeping dragon.

Content: unaware pred, willing prey, multiple prey, fear/running, magic protection, soft vore, safe vore, humanoid prey, dragon pred, first person pov

Dragon's Cave

Kiln fought her way from slumber with difficulty. All night dreams had plagued her, though upon waking all the details blurred out of memory. What remained was a feeling of unease and danger. 

She whimpered softly and considered her options. Supposedly flipping a pillow would help, but that had never worked before. The best choice was probably to seek comfort in her partner.

She cuddled close to him, burying her face in his chest. His deep breaths were nice, each rise and fall of his chest brought some calm. He hardly stirred despite her movements. Still, she felt so exposed. Even close to him, that left her back facing whatever might be lurking.

She really didn't want to wake him, but she wanted to get some more sleep herself. So, with stealthy, gentle movements she slipped her hands into the leathery pouch that ran along his underside. She pulled it open gently and lifted her legs to get them inside one at a time. She wriggled her way in, feeling the stretchy exterior accommodate her bit by bit. In went her tail, then her torso, and finally her head and shoulders. She wiggled down to the bottom, feeling his body now enveloping her completely. The outer wall clung to her form, but the inner side was soft and cushioned her body as she curled up.

Yes, here she could relax. Guarded on all sides by her sleeping partner, she began to relax. Her breath matched his with ease, each one letting her rise and fall along with his chest. His heartbeat boomed softly somewhere above, very audible from her intimate vantage point.

When morning came, he woke up first. At first the lack of Kiln beside him was alarming, but he quickly noticed the pressure against his middle. He peeked under the blanket to see her curled form within his pouch. He lightly traced the outline of her face with his fingers then rubbed her shoulders and side. He didn't know why, but he was fine with giving her whatever she needed, even while he slept.

John fidgeted in bed. His mind was full of the business of the day. He chewed at his lip and hummed softly to try and give it something neutral to focus on. Sadly it was tenaciously clinging to the worries for tomorrow.

Little Comfort Goes a Long Way

"Pip?" He called softly, "Are… Are you still awake?"

"Hmmmn?" A little head popped out of the box on his side table. They rubbed at their eyes and mumbled, "Sure, why?"

"Sorry," John whispered. "Its just, my mind is so full. Could you… help me?"

Pip smiled, interrupted by a big yawn as they crawled out of their little bed. John was always amazed at how nimble they were, sprinting across the blankets at this late hour. They crawled right up onto his nose and asked, "What can I do?"

John licked his lips. He gave a little sigh, "Well uh, y'know I like to stim with my mouth, so maybe you could go in and-" 

He was cut off by a pair of little legs cramming themselves past his lips and into his mouth. With a surprised blush he opened his mouth a little wider, letting Pip fall in.

His tongue caught them easily, their body sticking a little to his saliva covered tongue. He rubbed their little body against his hard pallet, feeling their form run along the smooth ridges. His mouth watered, soaking their clothes and making the movement even easier.

He pushed them to one side, giant molars pressing against each side of them as he chewed gently. They grunted softly from the pressure, and reached up to almost hug the upper tooth. Their hands rubbed at the gum whenever it was in reach. He hummed softly, the happy sound reverberating all around his tiny prey.

He parted his jaws and let Pip roll back into the middle of his mouth. His tongue arched then pressed down on top of the tiny person, trapping them down against his saliva glands that gushed fluid all around them. The tip of his tongue scooped them out of the slippery pit behind his teeth and let their body roll back towards his throat. They flailed a little, trying to find a hold on his tastebuds. 

Before they could fall into his throat, he pinned them up against the roof of his mouth. There they were held as he sucked out saliva and swallowed it. The suction all around held them frozen and once it stopped they wriggled around.

John yawned, letting in fresh air for Pip. However it also signaled he was finally getting tired. He let his jaws relax and curled up more comfortably in bed. Pip settled in the giants cheek, nestled beneath his teeth.

Once they heard John's breathing slow, they crawled up and slid into his throat. The muscles knew just what to do on their own, closing around Pip's little body and dragging him down. Being in a belly was much more comfortable than going to bed soaked in saliva. The little person nestled into the warm fleshy folds of the giants stomach and joined his friend in sleep.

Theodore looked up from his snug place in Marti's hold. Her soft white fur obscured his view, but he could feel the sleeping polar bear kick and twitch. Every now and then a soft whimper escaped her. The little brown bear wriggled from his powerful partner's hold and nuzzled her cheek.

Soothing Snack

Marti could hardly see above the waves. They rolled and crashed all around her, every one threatening to bring her down. She kicked out and paddled to try and stay afloat.

Theo knew just what to do to calm her down. He tried to gently part her jaws, gasping softly when she tried to turn away. Waking her wouldn't be great, but it would be better than whatever she was dreaming about.

The waves buffeted her face. It felt as though they were trying to force their way inside. She tried to keep her mouth closed, and failing that, push them back out.

Marti's tongue slipped out from her mouth and pushed at Theo's face as he forced his way in. Her long, sharp fangs pressed against his back, harmlessly chewing at him. Her tongue fought against him but he pushed his way in, reaching her throat. She coughed, but then, began to swallow. Powerful throat muscles dragged the doll-sized bear into her throat. The slimy walls of flesh rippled all around, dragging him deeper towards his goal.

The waves were too much, they forced their way into her mouth. In a last ditch attempt, she swallowed them, desperate to keep the water away from her lungs. Wave after wave went down her throat, and soon her stomach felt tight and full. The water within felt so warm, and somehow the waves continued to move, as if a living creature.

Theo reached her stomach and stretched out, pushing his limbs against the soft, wrinkled walls of her belly. He began to work his paws along the slippery surface, rubbing gently but firmly. The walls oozed fluids, but that just eased his work. Sure they would slowly dissolve him, but that would just add to the benefits she gained. Eith determination and affection he massaged her growling gut, feeling the rest of her body still and her breathing ease.

The waves within her were wild, but the ocean around her calmed. She had swallowed up all the activity! Now she floated peacefully in the warm sea, the waves in her belly giving pleasurable rubs. Now she could get used to this.

When she finally awoke, she remembered only the tranquility and delight from the dream. She was a little alarmed to find Theo not in her arms, but the pressure in her gut explained it all. The little fool must've hardly slept! She rubbed her fluffy belly with a big paw, feeling the fluid within slosh and resist softly. He'd be out soon, and then she could thank him properly. For now, she was going to take advantage of his kindness and get a little extra sleep.

"Run! Faster, faster!" I called. I risked a look back to see my friends- no family- hot on my trail. Just behind them I could see those glowing eyes. "Come on, come on," I urged.

Unaware Saviour

They panted and stumbled after me, running as fast as they could. We wouldn't stay ahead for much longer. I didn't want to meet whatever vicious creature was behind those eyes. Thankfully I knew a place.

There! Just ahead yawned the stony mouth of a cave. This particular cave was the home of someone who would certainly give us protection. I stopped at the entrance and gestured with my staff, "Get inside! Just keep going I'll be right behind."

They ran past me. One, two, three, that was all. I fired a glittering bolt of energy behind me then took off running after my people. Their footsteps echoed all around, but soon another sound drowned them out: snoring. Just our luck!

I put on a little more speed and passed them so I could reach the dragon first. I didn't waste time trying to wake the beast, instead swirling my staff then casting the spell at it. A glowing hand pried its jaws open. The faint light cast an eerie glow over the sharp, white fangs and saliva covered tongue.

The others stopped around me, casting anxious glances back. I decided to not waste time on convincing and stepped into the gaping maw. A wave of moisture hit me and its shores roared all around. One by one my family followed. 

I let the glowing hand dissipate, and the jaw snapped shut around us. We all ducked reflexively. 

I waved my staff, sparks flying harmlessly off of it until there was a steady blue glow. It lit up the faces of my companions, each one panting and tired. I tried to smile reassuringly and a couple of them flashes little nervous grins in response.

"So this is it?" One asked.

I shook my head, "We have to go further."

"Further..?" The littlest squeaked.

I nodded and took my glowing staff in both hands. I closed my eyes and focused hard. Slowly a shimmering bubble appeared at the tip. It expanded bit by bit, until it engulfed all of us, the bottom bent against the soft tongue at our feet. I tapped my staff against it and opened my eyes just in time to see the bubble flash and harden.

They looked around at the spell with amazement, and one of them muttered, "What is it?" 

"Protection. From the acid that is. Wouldn't work against," I gestured to the front of the mouth vaguely, "Whatever is out there."

They nodded and I pushed the bubble forward with my staff. We glided over the dragon's slick tongue towards the throat. I looked around at the muscles that flexed gently with each giant breath it took. Hopefully this would work.

I pressed our bubble forward, the walls pressing against the powerful muscles all around. I held my breath.

The dragon swallowed. Its throat contracted all around us, squishing the tough but flexible bubble. It held up! 

We were knocked from our feet as the bubble slid down the throat, each new swallow threatening to crush us all. Finally our protective orb popped out into the cavernous stomach, floating along gently in the fluids. We sank to about half way up the bubble, but it managed to hold up. All around the dragons insides gurgled and groaned. The wrinkled walls of smooth flesh shifted gently, glistening in the faint light cast by my magic. 

I sat down and opened my arms, "Come here crew. Let's get some rest. I'm sure we'll have some explaining to do in the morning."

They all gave sleepy nods and settled in a pile, cuddling eachother and me. I leaned against the wall of the bubble and tilted my hat over my eyes. 

[savethelastdan]

you were made to make it hurt

written for @jh-in, the best SessMir shipper. Go check out his art!!!!

--

Sesshomaru pauses at the top of the hill. Night sky stretches above like the wing of some great creature; from several yards behind him, the combination of Ah-Un, Jaken, and Rin’s snoring make a strange symphony in the air.

The daiyokai’s eyes are trained into the distance, watching a spark of fire waver in the dark. This is where his half-brother’s team has stopped to rest.

Each member of the group is strange. From Inuyasha himself, to the girl thrown through time, to the kitsune of the same age as Sesshomaru’s own ward, to the slayer, each has been unmistakably marked with death.

None more so, however, than the monk.

Tension prickles up his spine, making him clench both hands. A mere human, cursed with a void in his hand--the man’s scent is ​saturated w​ith finality. Even from here, far enough that the foolish hanyou would remain unaware of his presence, it still fills Sesshomaru’s nostrils with a bitterness.

Watching the fire’s shape wink in the distance, he plants both feet in the grass. It is part of human nature to fear mortality, even more so for those who know their end is near. In the few moments he’s been close enough to see the man--​Miroku​--in action, it’s been clear that such worries plague him as well. The monk drinks with abandon, shamelessly seeks the attention of most women (and some men, which Sesshomaru is surprised that Inuyasha has pretended not to notice), throws himself into battle with little regard for his own safety.

It is nothing Sesshomaru has never seen before. It is of no consequence to ​him, ​a formidable yokai with his own goals to master.

And yet, when his mind fills with the image of the monk clutching his right arm with a pained grimace, Sesshomaru’s stolen arm mirrors that ache.

--

“You are quite intimidating to look at up close.” Miroku cocks his head, staring at the marks on Sesshomaru’s face with curiosity. Unlike the reincarnated girl, he knows better than to touch. “Ah, but I hope that you will take that as a compliment.”

Sesshomaru says nothing. Nor does he acknowledge tea that they hurried to offer him. In a hut several yards away, Rin coughs, reminding him of the only reason that the two groups have met for the moment.

“Lady Kagome is very skilled in her healing,” the monk says calmly. “We are lucky that she is willing to share the advanced medicine from her time.”

None that would save you,​ Sesshomaru thinks. ​Does that not anger you?

The slayer joins them by the fire, her animal companion snuggled in both arms. Though Miroku’s eyes light up hopefully, she dips her head stiffly to look at the ground.

“Shippo and I will be going to the next town over to see if they have anything that might speed along her recovery.” Sesshomaru watches her eyes slide sideways. She watches the monk’s cursed hand closely, but from the blush of her cheeks he does not think it is for the typical reason. “Inuyasha probably won’t come back until you’re gone, Lord Sesshomaru.”

It would be foolish to think the hanyou is not somewhere spying on them, suspicious of his motives--but then, Sesshomaru has no reason to make them aware of such things. 

Miroku smiles broadly, as though the daiyokai is a distant relative come to visit instead of only a few steps from an enemy. “We’ll be fine here for the moment, won’t we?”

The slayer doesn’t look convinced; perhaps because she is reasonable, as far as humans go. Once she leaves, Sesshomaru rumbles, “I do not require anyone to remain by my side.”

Miroku’s smile falls from his face, before he erupts in a chuckle clearly meant to cover his natural surprise.

“But of course, Lord Sesshomaru.​ I​ have no intentions to do so. Just trying to stay warm, you see.”

Sesshomaru’s eyes flick to the retreating slayer, then back to the monk. The opportunity was there for him to suggest he go with her instead, and leave the kitsune to rest. There will be no benefit in attending to him; Sesshomaru does not drink, nor share in gossip and entertainment.

The thought that buzzes in his mind slips free. “There is no sense in wasting your time; you are likely to die before Naraku is defeated.”

Miroku stills. His right arm tenses automatically, clenching the prayer beads wrapped around it so hard that his knuckles crack. As though a veil has been ripped off, his face falls into a cold darkness that even the fire’s light cannot soften.

“Whatever time that I have left,” he says quietly, “I will spend as I like.”

Heat stirs in Sesshomaru’s chest; it is not unlike the warning that piques his senses when an enemy is near, prodding the beast in him to awaken. However, his impulses to​ tear, poison, punish, destroy​ are gone, replaced with something that he cannot understand.

Miroku turns to look him full in the face. “So, what do you understand about the situation between Inuyasha, Kagome, and Kikyo? It’s quite the problem...”

--

There is no hope. He cannot be saved.

Miroku mumbles something against his lips, back pressed hard against the tree. His staff is a few yards away, propped against a thatch of bushes. “The rings will give us a warning,” he said, as though Sesshomaru’s superior senses would not alert them to another’s presence long before. Perhaps he only says it as a reminder of his history, in order to give himself a sense of autonomy. ​I’ve had many like this, always because I’ve wanted it, don’t think I’m afraid...

His left arm wraps around to grip Sesshomaru’s shoulder, pulling vainly at the white robes. There is no fear in his scent, despite the fact that there many ways this situation could end poorly for him--whether it is at the slayer’s hands, Inuyasha’s, or even Sesshomaru’s himself. Sesshomaru presses in harder, fangs nicking the monk’s bottom lip. With a noise soft enough to be committed to memory forever, Miroku presses his right hand into the daiyokai’s jaw to angle it just so.

Prayer beads dig into Sesshomaru’s cheek. It ​burns​, but he will not pull away. There are much worse things that one must be forced to bear.

[financialmix]

What Is Financial Mix

Despite the fact that it's hard for people to handle a wide scope of factors immediately, luckily, we've constructed machines that can do that for us – PCs and computerized reasoning. Additionally, a crypto exchanging bot depends on its calculation to distinguish openings where explicit cryptographic forms of money can be bought at a lower cost and sold at a greater cost later on. The following is our extensive survey of one such robot,Financial Mix. Remarkable development in Bitcoin exchanging prompted the making of Financial Mix. It is accounted for to have been made to engage everybody with digital currency exchanging capacity, particularly the individuals who needed to track down an extra type of revenue through exchanging yet didn't think about the business. Today, it is said to permit both expert and novice brokers to complete large number of exchanges every day.

Who Created Financial Mix?

It is accounted for online that Financial Mix Signup  was brought into the world after a gathering of cryptographic money specialists, and programming designers met at a main money meeting. Their conversation before long prompted the acknowledgment that they all face comparable limitations and disappointments with regards to crypto exchanging. That is evidently when they chose to unite and foster a mechanized exchanging bot that would help them rule the Bitcoin exchanging space. Every maker is said to have gigantic experience working with various organizations in a few businesses. Throughout the long term,Financial Mix has gotten down to business to get perhaps the most compelling and instinctive computerized exchanging bots that carry advantageous productivity to everybody, as per the tributes of its clients. These additionally express that the bot makers keep the application refreshed and advance it for stunningly better exactness and execution.

Joining with Financial Mix is a straightforward cycle as all you need for personality confirmation is your first and last names, telephone number, email address, and nation of home. To begin exchanging, you need to set aside a base installment of $250, which functions as your functioning capital. In any case, you don't need to risk all that cash, and you can begin exchanging with just $25.   Whenever you have gone through the enlistment and least store stage, you can begin exchanging. Before you go for live digital currency exchanging, we encourage you in any case the Demo mode to acquaint yourself with the site.

One of the extraordinary highlights is that enlistment is free. Furthermore, the stage doesn't take a cut from your capital or benefits. It's totally free with no secret charges. Practice With Demo Account Before you start genuine exchanging, you can get familiar with the exchanging framework and UI with the demo account. You can likewise test and assess the presentation of various exchanging methodologies before you execute them in genuine exchanging. Basic Registration Process Financial Mix  doesn't expect you to fill any protracted structures and doesn't drag you through complex cycles to finish the enlistment. It's fast and direct and doesn't require over 20 minutes of your time. Pull out Your Money With Ease Installment modes incorporate Visas, including Visa, Express, Discovery, and MasterCard and online installment passages like Neteller.

Throughout the long term, the group behind this exchanging stage has apparently improved its high level crypto exchanging calculation to hold a high achievement rate. Backing for Multiple Currencies This exchanging robot is viable with numerous digital forms of money, including Bitcoin, Bitcoin Cash, Dash, Ripple, Ethereum, Litecoin, Monero, and that's only the tip of the iceberg. You additionally have the alternative to exchange standard fiat monetary forms like USD, CHF, and EUR. Open Customer Care In the event that you are confronting any issues or have a few worries that you'd prefer to be tended to, you can generally contact their client assistance, who are eager to assist and respond to your inquiries. The help is accessible 24 hours all week long.

The exchanging bot supposedly consents to the business' prescribed procedures to forestall information penetrates and keeps your own data and assets free from any and all harm against noxious components like programmers.

Is Financial Mix Legit?

Given the quantity of cryptographic money tricks and phony ICOs that plague the online world, it's simply sensible to be suspicious of a stage that professes to offer fast returns. Be that as it may, in our examination, we tried to see whether Financial Mix was a real exchanging bot.

We discovered a ton of client tributes who guarantee that the product has procured them great benefit in the course of the most recent couple of years while client care is consistently available, responsive, and inviting. Indeed, you can discover positive surveys on a few sites that clarify how the stage assisted them with procuring monetary security. The exchanging bot is supposed to be propelled by present day macroeconomic exchanging models that permit foreseeing the event of thin freedoms dependent on monetary information and verifiable conduct. This purportedly helps the bot in recognizing the best chances to open and close the exchange for most extreme benefit.

Many exchanging bots and stages charge commissions or have some secret expenses. That is not the situation withFinancial Mix as you can utilize every one of the highlights of the exchanging totally free. Enlisted Brand Financial Mix  is an enlisted organization that conforms to guidelines and has the approval to direct digital money exchanging for its clients' sake. High Trade Success Accuracy Near 90% of the exchanges result a benefit, making it perhaps the most productive digital money exchanging bots. Engineers are continually refreshing the calculation for a superior achievement rate.

The crypto exchanging administration is available in 150 nations, which means individuals can utilize everything over the world without going through any issues or managing uphill difficulties. With Financial Mix, you just need to present the withdrawal structure, and your installment is prepared inside a window of 24 hours. You have distinctive installment techniques accessible also. What's the Best Way to UseFinancial Mix?

Follow the pointers beneath to take advantage of a cryptographic money exchanging bot. These will assist you with limiting your danger while acquiring predictable benefits. If it's not too much trouble, start with the demo mode to make yourself mindful of how the bot functions, test different exchanging methodologies and think about their outcomes Tune in to the master crypto brokers and notice their exchanging propensities and examples. Stay aware of the most recent digital currency news and improvements. Utilize the stop misfortune and take benefit limit alternative to your profit and limit your danger while exchanging. Try not to go into manual exchanging until you've taken in the intricate details of the crypto exchanging and have total trust in the thing you're doing.

Has Financial Mix Ever Appeared On TV?

At the point when you have a help that is as broadly referred to and utilized as Financial Mix, there are in every case a few bits of hearsay that get related with it. The stage has been reputed to be essential for speculation TV shows in the United States and the United Kingdom. We burrowed profound to confirm these accounts. Mythical beasts' Den is the top speculation show in the UK and has been a beneficiary of numerous imaginative innovation thoughts, some of which were identified with bitcoin exchanging. Our thorough exploration, in any case, neglected to track down any unmistakable proof that focuses towards Financial Mix being pitched on Dragons' Den. It's not piece of a scene of any season. Shark Tank is fundamentally the Dragons' Den of America, and it includes huge names like Mark Cuban, Robert Herjavec and Kevin O'Leary. Like its UK partner, Shark Tank has likewise been a beneficiary of numerous innovation thoughts, however none of them had highlighted this exchanging stage.

Has Financial Mix Ever Been Endorsed by a Celebrity?

Very much like the TV appearance reports,Financial Mix has additionally been related with numerous superstars. These accounts flowing the web guarantee that specific big names have either put resources into the thought or embraced it. We checked these cases to check whether they are right.   There were reports that the observed Australian TV moderator had prescribed it to his fans for exchanging and procuring benefit. However, from our complete exploration, we didn't discover any proof of this.   The sequential business visionary, very rich person, and originator of Tesla is known around the world for his adoration for innovation. Is anything but an unexpected that he backs bitcoin and cryptographic forms of money as a rule. That being said, there is by all accounts no proof to prove that he embraced Financial Mix expressly.   There were tales that Enrique Razon, a Filipino extremely rich person, and money manager, has contributed utilizing this exchanging robot. Indeed, there have all the earmarks of being no connections between the very rich person and the exchanging bot's makers.

For over 10 years, Bitcoin has been the main coin in the cryptographic money area. Right now, it is the most popular digital currency on the planet. Be that as it may, to exchange it effectively, merchants need a ton of information and exchanging experience, which is hard for newbies to acquire.

This is the reason mechanized exchanging robots like Financial Mixexist so they could furnish anybody with a chance to exchange very quickly with a low starting venture, and make the most of the arising open doors in the developing crypto market. Financial Mix Review  is an exchanging framework that permits individuals the chance to bring in cash while exchanging digital currencies. Its product is controlled by an AI calculation that gathers the information from the open business sectors, examinations them, and afterward hypothesizes about the value development. Whenever potential freedoms arise, the robot enters a situation for the client's sake to bring in cash for them.

The application offers a few significant highlights that are compulsory for this sort of programming. Some of them can be somewhat valuable for the clients' wellbeing and smooth client experience. The main highlights of the application are as per the following:  App's payout framework is profoundly cutting-edge, and it apparently works with no issues, issues, or mistakes. This is urging to hear, as the payout framework is a significant factor for any crypto exchanging robot.

The framework is enacted naturally after the live exchanging meeting is closed. The robot's site further cases that it is feasible for clients to make very high payouts once they begin making more productive exchanges, and possibly decide to reinvest a portion of their benefits. Nonetheless, for the underlying time frame, it is suggested that clients start little, whether or not they are new or experienced, at any rate until they are certain that they see how the robot functions. To begin exchanging, you should initially make a record, which just requires your first name, last name, email and telephone number. The organization doesn't specify the requirement for clients to check their character.

The record creation framework is speedy and bother free. New clients don't need to invest a great deal of energy on onboarding and can begin exchanging rapidly after they join the application's client base. The withdrawal cycle is likewise purportedly truly dependable and direct. Clients are permitted to pull out cash whenever they need. Clients are encouraged to pull out the sum they initially contributed when the benefits begin coming in.

This is a decent technique for clients to deal with the danger as they would have effectively returned the cash they began with, and that all exchanging that will follow will just draw assets from the pool of benefit created by the robot. This gives clients significant serenity and urges them to exchange further, just as to rapidly get the their rewards for all the hard work.

Clients can rapidly pull out assets to their crypto wallet or financial balance, and afterward use it as they see fit, or basically hold it to be utilized later down the line.

Financial Mix seems to deal with expenses fairly well, as it has no secret charges of any sort, the extent that we figured out how to discover. It doesn't need a permit expense, implying that you can utilize it totally for nothing. While it is conceivable that this may change later on, because of expanded interest for the stage and comparable robots, until further notice, the organization doesn't charge a premium. Notwithstanding, it forces a 2% commission on all benefits that are made by utilizing the robot.

Purportedly, there are no store or withdrawal expenses, or even latency charges.

Client Testimonials

We were keen on perceiving how the application's clients are reacting to the exchanging robot, so we investigated client tributes. Shockingly, there are not very a considerable lot of them on the web, which isn't that astounding, given that the robot is still generally new. It was just dispatched in 2019, and it probably took some time for the word to spread.

Tributes that we found have been genuinely sure, with the clients calling the robot 'helpful,' and an 'amazing and speedy stage'. There is a likelihood that new clients could in any case have negative encounters with the stage, yet up until this point, none such encounters were accounted for.

However, as referenced, you ought to consistently be prepared for issues, regardless of whether they were not revealed at this point

Financial Mix appears to have a generally excellent and devoted client assistance, which is accessible nonstop. Great client support is likewise a significant factor while choosing a mechanized exchanging robot, as it can respond to every one of your inquiries, and even tackle expected issues in the event that you experience any.

We are not saying that it has any known issues, yet potential hiccups can arise whenever, as no product out there is perfect. Things will in general get particularly intriguing with regards to the crypto business, which is itself actually viewed as new and advancing, so having a capable client support to depend on is essential, particularly when your own cash is included.

Partnered Brokers

Financial Mix is apparently associated with a few controlled intermediaries who offer great arrangements, however there is additionally talk that the improvement group is contained agents who are engaged with Bitcoin. This would not be astonishing assuming valid, however for the present, it stays just gossip.

Is Financial Mix Legitimate?

Up until this point, we couldn't discover proof that there is anything amiss with BitQH App, or that it is a trick. There are just sure client tributes, and the site guarantees that numerous individuals were effective with regards to bringing in rather nice measures of cash from the site.

In light of online audits and client tributes, the application has all the earmarks of being genuine and practical, when utilized effectively. We actually exhort moving toward it with alert and not gambling more cash than you can deal with losing, yet that is only a wellbeing safety measure that ought to be applied at whatever point you exchange computerized monetary forms or different resources.

One incredible motivation to utilize Financial Mix is the way that the application offers a demo account. This is an uncommon kind of record where you don't join the genuine, live market, but instead a reenacted one. You are allowed counterfeit cash with which you will work on exchanging.

On the off chance that you experience misfortunes, those are not genuine misfortunes, and the equivalent is valid about any increases. Generally, it is a decent spot to rehearse your way to deal with crypto exchanging and test various systems.

Many exchanging robots expect you to store a sizeable measure of cash before you can begin exchanging, which can go up to $1,000, and at times much more. BitQH App, then again, just expects you to store $250. You at that point utilize that cash to enter the live exchange mode, where you purchase and offer coins to benefit from their value shift.

Since most dealers can almost certainly store this sum, it is by and large viewed as that robots are entirely available and a decent path for new clients to enter the crypto business.

It can participate in quick exchanging

Perhaps the greatest blemish of human dealers is our powerlessness to assemble and handle information rapidly. We need to peruse the news, examine diagrams, and physically use devices to decide Bitcoin's value activity, which eases back us down, and the cost would already be able to begin changing horribly when we respond.

Financial Mix does everything in a flicker of an eye, and thusly, it can profit by every one of the arising openings. Putting resources into BTC when it is at $18k just to watch it flood to $42k is an enormous chance that comes once at regular intervals. Be that as it may, more modest ones are considerably more hard for people to misuse, while an application can do it easily

As well as handling information and responding quicker, it is likewise worth calling attention to that the broker does everything all alone. You should simply give it guidelines, like when to enter and when to leave, what hazard measures to apply and how much cash to utilize per exchange.

With these and comparative boundaries set up, you can leave it and approach your day, while the broker will continue entering and leaving positions and finishing exchanges completely all Financial Mix

https://www.financialmix.net/ https://www.instagram.com/financialmixapp/ https://twitter.com/FinancialMix https://www.pinterest.com/financialmixapp/ https://www.facebook.com/financialmix

[raeynbowboi]

How Piety could change the face of 5th Edition

With the announcement of the upcoming sourcebook Mythic Odysseys of Theros for Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition, we were informed of an upcoming new feature called Piety. While we don’t have all the details yet, we can at least speculate about the impact this few mechanic will have on DnD character builds.

Discount Domains

A little storytime for you, the very first character I ever rolled was a Cleric. I wanted to be a Cleric of Sune because she was the DnD goddess of Love and Beauty, and I was eager to be introduced to the DnD faith. Only to find, much to my disappointment, that there was no Love Domain. So I ended up stuck as a Light Cleric for Sune which never really felt right. However, with this piety system, we could potentially build Clerics for all the domains that we don’t really have. So, build a Glamour Bard that’s pious to Aphrodite, build an Aberrant Mind Sorcerer and worship Dionysus, or be a Sea Sorcerer who prays to Poseidon. While you probably won’t get the same benefits as a proper Cleric, you can flavor your subclass abilities as being divine boons from your God. This can also work for gods where the existing domains don’t quite match the character. Sure, you could make a Nature Cleric of Artemis, but wouldn’t a Beast Master Ranger be a little closer to home?

Templar Knights

Not every religious character is held up in a temple. Say you’re devoted to Athena. Sure, you could be a Knowledge Cleric, but you could also be a Psychic Warrior Fighter who has weaponized your mind as part of your melee combat that worships Athena and has an oath to stop the censorship of information by any means necessary. You’re still pious to your diety, but the build itself is less restrained by needing to take a level in Cleric or picking the Acolyte background. The piety system can be a great way to build characters that are very religious but choose to serve their gods in more physical ways. Another thing, not all Gods have domains that fit them well. Aphrodite’s only domain is Light. But if you visit Kythera or Sparta, you’ll find statues of Aphrodite adorned in armor. Aphrodite Areia, the Warlike Aphrodite. War isn’t an option for Aphrodite, but you can absolutely use flavor to rework this. Whether you pick up a War Cleric and choose to be Pious to Aphrodite or if you make her as a College of Swords Bard or Hexblade Warlock with the same piety, you’re able to work a lesser known aspect of the goddess into your character. Thus, piety could offer much more versatility in devout characters outside of the standard Cleric build.

The Casual Observer

While there’s devoted deacons and militarized faithful, there’s also the common man in the street. In my research, I’ve found very little talk of Aphrodite’s priests and priestesses, but I do know that many members of Aphrodite’s Cult were prostitutes. Compare as well to characters like Link or Nightcrawler. Sure, Nightcrawler is a very devoted Catholic, but taking levels in Cleric or a background in Acolyte isn’t a great fit for his build. He’s a circus performer whose primary focus is on teleportation. Link is a servant of Hylia and the Three Golden Goddesses of Hyrule, but I doubt many people would ever build Link as any sort of Cleric. Thus, Link is a perfect example of the Casual Observer. A character who doesn’t have room in their build to pick up Cleric levels (or perhaps where Cleric spells wouldn’t work for the build) and still allows them to be religious.

Double Dipping

When I did my build of Apollo for DnD 5e, one thing I found difficult was choosing which of his many many domains I wanted to focus on. Between being a god of Light, Healing, Plagues, Prophecy, Music, and so much more, it made it hard to balance all of his skills. But through Piety, it might be possible to double-up on worshiping the same God but through two different lenses. We don’t know yet how Piety will work or be set up. It’ll probably paint in broad strokes like a War Domain Piety or something. But if we’re lucky, I’d much rather have individual deities have their own Piety systems. Because while you could argue that two Tempest Gods could give the same features, worshiping Zeus or Thor should really each offer something unique to that God. Plus, there’s still gods without a unique domain. So if it’s just by Domain, Poseidon’s followers might still end up with features that don’t reflect what Poseidon’s about at all. But this can still be a huge plus for builds. Say we’re building Apollo like before. If we assume we’re using the Domains angle, we could worship Apollo as a god of Light, but then choose Apollo as our god of Piety under the Life Domain for better healing. Thus better encompassing Apollo’s abilities. Or, perhaps if Apollo is given unique features, those features might already offer something akin to divination powers as a god of prophecy. Having those would nullify any need to dip into Divination Wizard. As another example, it might be possible to Worship Athena as a War Cleric, then be Pious to her under the Knowledge Domain. Or if Athena’s unique Piety features are more combat-focused, you could worship her as a Knowledge Cleric and get more melee fighter features from your Piety. Thus, allowing the player to encompass multiple angles of a single deity’s domains.

Mismatches

It’s important to remember that not every character’s deity of preference is going to perfectly match what they do. While many in Ancient Greece prayed only to the gods that mattered to their daily life, that can cover multiple angles. As an example, Athena was the patron goddess of Athens. But the Athenians also had a very strong naval presence. Thus, it’s possible to have an Athenian who would be devout to Athena just based on where they’re from, but they might be just as or more devoted to Poseidon if their life as a naval soldier made the sea an equally important aspect of life. Similarly, War is a big aspect of Sparta’s image. Ares was very important to the Spartan people and their way of life. Except, Ares wasn’t the patron god of the city. It was Apollo and Artemis. So, while a proper Spartan soldier might pick up a War Cleric or some sort of Fighter or Barbarian, they might also pick up a Piety for the twin archers, even if they themselves aren’t an archer. As a more personal example, I’m a very creative person. Apollo, as the master of the muses, should be the most important god to me for the purposes of my work. But in terms of personal preference, Aphrodite is my favorite of the Olympians because at my heart, I’m a hopeless romantic. A character’s faith isn’t always the most straight forward and obvious choice, and the piety system could really help add depth to character creation going forward.

This was admittedly a long one, but one I’m glad I focused on. I don’t know what all the Piety system will deliver, but I’m personally excited for it. I think it’ll add a lot of flexibility and flavor to character-building. Especially if Wizard of the Coast decides to go the extra mile and make individual piety features for every god. Granted, I know there are a crap ton of gods in DnD, so that might be a very tall order. At the very least, I’d like to see them maybe lay out some official ones by Domain, but then maybe also lay out a list of other piety rewards in a big table and the rule that players and DMs can trade out piety features with other existing ones from the table or even build their own to really give players more flexibility. Especially for campaigns where DMs build their own worlds and pantheons, the ability to essentially homebrew a new piety system for any god they make up from a list of pre-approved piety features would be a fantastic way to keep the system flexible for player customization. Still, regardless of how the piety system we end up with works, I think it’ll go a long way in expanding the possibilities of what our characters can do.

[thingsifindinthedark]

Some thoughts about: Anger, Illness and Imagination

Good morning

It’s 11:30 am in Los Angeles and the sky is finally looking blue again even though fires are still raging close by.

Living in the smoke reminded me of winters in West Virginia. When the sky was just a heavy gray blanket from November through April. It felt cruel at the time.

I never got used to that winter.

My moods are so connected to the weather and what I’m looking at outside.

California is the perfect place to live if you’re pretending to be happy all the time.

The weather always tells you you should be hiking, and laughing as you wash your face with some sort of foaming organic cleanser like you’re in a commercial.

Setting aside the horrific reality of the fires, purely for the sake of metaphor, there’s a poetry in being here in this moment.

Just as I learn to make room for anger, and embrace it, and leave the cult of fake positivity, things are going up in flames.

Something that therapy and illness has taught me, is how much freedom and power we have to make sense of certain things creatively in whatever way we want. It’s just hard to let ourselves do it, it feels almost indulgent. Or maybe silly. Or we feel it will take away from our ability to grasp harsh truths or do something about them. I think we need both versions.

The places where I have most desperately wanted certainty and facts but not been able to get them- those are the places where finding meaning with my imagination helps my life.

I remember being in 3rd grade, newly dealing with the reality of being in pain all the time. Something had changed in my stomach.

I was now late for school every single day, a trend that would continue, because of the mixed messages my gut sent me every morning that sent me in and out of the bathroom, or cause me so much paralyzing stress that I would try to talk my out of attending.

My 3rd grade teacher, tired of my lateness, but with good intentions, once told me to picture a cool liquid in a soothing color, to pick my favorite color - I chose turquoise, filling the inside of my stomach. Calming the pain.

I was annoyed. Imagining a color in my stomach was not going to fix me. I needed cold hard data. I needed medication or a replacement set of internal organs. Even if this COULD help, the moment I admitted using my imagination helped my symptoms? That would be the moment doctors took my pain even less seriously and dismissed me outright. Many had already because I was a young girl. If I weren’t a young white cis girl from an upper middle class family i guarantee the dismissal would have been even worse.

So I was defensive to my teacher. The same way I would be defensive for years when people told me to try xyz lifestyle choice or simple solution to address years of pain that had confused doctors.

The same way I would be insulted when I was told it was “just anxiety” by doctors. I was defensive, and I became avoidant of sharing about my life in order to not, inevitably, come off as defensive.

But there is a weird sort of privilege in my being sick this long, over various stages of life; childhood, adolescence, young adulthood. Don’t get me wrong, I would rather not be sick, but what I mean is, this isn’t my first rodeo.

Science may only just now be really starting to understand the microbiome and the conditions that plague it, but I have been here, waiting in the wings, doubled over but still trucking along, learning how to make sense of things where there is not enough information for them to literally make sense.

I’ve found I truly need both the antibiotics AND the stupid turquoise liquid mind exercise, the lab work and the therapy that looks to address my anxiety and traumas. The idea that it was one or the other, in my mind OR in my body has been a barrier to my coping skills for years.

I came by that “either or” idea organically. It’s the way we are taught to think and the way western medicine tends to view things, though that is improving. Trauma also makes it harder to grasp nuance instead of black and whiteness.

I couldn’t have gotten to this point without learning to recognizing the way my brain got organized in childhood: don’t get angry, always appear positive, put others first, men’s emotions and needs are generally more important than yours.

I have a lot of anger. I have anger at my illness too. About the symptoms. About being on a restricted diet (again) and taking all these supplements. About feeling like I have to do everything perfectly or my body will collapse for days.

It becomes so much more livable though, even by simply acknowledging that in writing; I am angry. I am still sitting here calmly on my red velvet pillow on the floor at my short Japanese tea table by the window, but I am also angry.

There is something in anger that is self-preserving. An acknowledgment that you deserve better than what you’re facing.

When I can trust myself to meet my anger, to neither stuff it down or express it in a way that is harmful to others or myself, I feel a new freedom. I don’t have to walk around ready to spring into a defense posture. Because I know how to regulate that emotion and I’ve made room for it to show up. Even though it is still uncomfortable.

When it can’t show up as itself, for me anger shows up as; looping anxiety or guilt, obsession over food and health that leads to tunnel vision, impulsive decisions, various other forms of self sabotage. Oh, and physical pain.

My therapist once told me it was “like my body rejects it, when I feel angry.”

It made sense to me perfectly in a way that is hard to explain, but that I’m sure someone out there reading this also feels and understands. I think a lot of our bodies, women in particular, reject anger. Or maybe reject some other emotion. Whatever you weren’t allowed to feel growing up. Whatever emotion was deemed too much, or was monopolized by a different family member in a toxic way.

But that pain, rage, sorrow- it has to go somewhere. We learn to point it at ourselves for the benefit of other people when we don’t know what else to do.

This is the last thing you probably want to think about if you have a chronic illness. Or even if you don’t, it is not stuff we as humans tend to embrace; trying to better regulate and sit with our least pleasant emotions.

But while you are waiting; while you’re waiting for your lab work to return or your doctor to call you back, while you’re waiting for your new anti depressants to kick in, while you’re waiting for the incessant busyness of your pre-Covid life to return, experiment with stopping yourself from going down whatever avenue it is that you go down when things are out of your control, the one that harms you. The one that is probably fueled by anxiety - constant googling? Obsessing over something small? apologizing constantly for reasons you don’t understand? The list goes on.

Instead, try to feel the physical sensations of emotion in your body. Are your physical pains saying anything to you?

Is there a totally unscientific but spiritual interpretation of what’s going on that can help you get through the day or the hour or the minute, WHILE you’re on the meds, or waiting for the next step?

Here’s mine:

Science: My body has been overwhelmed for years by bacterial overgrowth, pathogenic yeasts, mold spores, fungus, mycotoxins. As I have been wiping out these beasts, I’ve also had to build up my body’s detox pathways, my ability to take in, process and effectively get rid of what is harmful. I’ve had to get my immune system stronger, and build up my good bacteria so it will fight these monsters off and not let them take over again.

Creative connection: My biggest roadblock in relationships, of all kinds, and in my career, aside from being sick- has always been with boundaries. I used to never have them, and feel the need to say yes to everyone. When that burned me out, I was resentful. I’d built up a lot of resentment that wasn’t the fault of others. I let everything in and it built up and I had no methods of getting it out. So I am detoxing here too. I have gotten rid of so much of what doesn’t serve me. And my ability to notice and honor anger as a messenger and protective force will help keep the harm away, just as a healthy immune system and functional microbiome keeps the pathogens away.

That’s an oversimplification of both my illnesses and my point of view on it, but it helps me to find these ways that healing from (and just improving in dealing with) sickness mirror/compliment the other areas of my life. I used to push illness into it’s own separate corner of my brain as if it weren’t really a part of me.

It is. And I both accept that, AND feel certain that I won’t always feel the way I do now, and that I can keep getting better, or at least befriending these parts of me. I’m building a relationship with my illness. Weird as that sounds.

When something is awful and out of our control and makes us feel we lack agency, deciding your own interpretation of it can be a way to seize a little bit of a feeling of autonomy. I will wait for my doctor to tell me what to take next, but not to tell me how to feel.

[jackdawyt]

Hello Thedosians, I am here today to explain 6 fan theories that must come true in the next Dragon Age instalment.

Saria and I have been researching and tinfoiling away on many popular fan theories that plenty of others have theorized as well. Please note, these are all theories, and we would love to hear your ideas in the comment section below. There is no right or wrong when it comes to speculation.

But without further ado, put those tinfoil hats on, and strap seatbelts to your ears because we're going to take them on the ride of their lives!

Theory: I believe the Blight emerged from a Blighted Titan

The origin of the blight is quite the mystery throughout Thedas with many sources having their own validation on how the blights began:

Chantry-folk talk about a Maker casting a blight onto his failed creations as a plague for punishment of man's excessive pride.

The blight was to be the tool by with the Maker would end all of creation. They preached that it came from the Void, a place of nothing. (Codex entry: Lyrium).

In Threnodies, The Chant of Light exclusively condemns the kinsman of the Tevinter Imperium for the blight's existence.

Threnodies 8.13: "The Chant says that the Maker created the blight as he cast down the seven magisters who blackened the Golden City. Twisted and corrupted, the seven found the Old God Dumat snoozing, their taint spread onto Dumat, cursing the dragon and unleashing the first blight onto Thedas."

However, Tevinter's Imperial Chantry claims that The Chant of Light is a fabrication, a lie to spite the Imperium. Henceforth, the Imperial Chantry believes that the darkspawn have always existed, even before the blights. The main culprits for the blackening of the Golden City and mankind's corruption are the lies of the Old Gods, not mortal pride.

Contradicting the chantry's tale of the blight. As history recalls, it was the Dwarven Kingdoms that were the first to fall to the darkspawn. While the Dwarves don't care for the blight's origin, or what causes it, a pair of Dwarven scouts do believe that the Darkspawn were created by a queen broodmother - the first in existence - responsible for breeding all darkspawn.

Perhaps at the very heart of our world sits a queen—the first mother. Instead of focusing on her children, we should target broodmothers and ensure that future reinforcements will never be born. Codex entry: The Eternal Battle: Darkspawn.

Even The Grey Wardens believe that the Blight is a spiritual corruption that pervades all that it touches, and that all Archdemons must be destroyed in order to stop any future Blights.

Now, According to Solas this is untrue - he indicates that killing all the Archdemons would not stop the blights, the hordes of Darkspawn would still continue to ravage Thedas. He knows that there is something much worse that's behind the blight.

So, the majority of humans in Thedas believe in either the Maker creating the blight, or the blight already existing in the Black City. While the Dwarves don't care as long as the blight can be stopped, and the Grey Wardens are adamant that the Archdemons' death will end the blights.

In short - it seems no-one in Thedas knows what caused the Blight, and those few who do dare say a word. *Stares at Solas*

However, there is something that we do know regarding the origin of the blight! The substance known as "red lyrium" is intrinsically tied to the blight, because red lyrium actually has Blight within it, spreading the taint:

"Red lyrium... it has the Blight."

—Bianca Davri

Regular lyrium is the blood of the world-shaping Titans, the substance empowers magic because it is a conductor that "bridges the gap between the dreamer’s world and the waking world." - (World of Thedas, Vol. 1).

It's used by mages to strengthen magical spells and abilities, while Templar's use it to maintain their immunity to magic, and repel spells.

However, Red Lyrium is blighted Titan blood - corrupted and distorted - carrying this plague throughout the land. Unlike regular lyrium which requires you to digest it in order for it to impact you, just being around red lyrium will significantly affect you.

The substance is most unique, it can thin the veil, allowing spirits and demons to interact with the "real" world. Prolonged exposure will change not only your mental outlook but your physical appearance too. When a templar ingests red lyrium, it improves their powers, grants them new ones and pushes their strength beyond measures.

Once consumed you can become easily become addicted. The more a Templar ingests, the more likely it is for the red lyrium to manifest - descending the subject into pure madness and crystallizing their body until it's pure red lyrium, not being recognized as having once been a human.  

What's most concerning is how Red Lyrium came to be, the mystery still alludes us today. However, we can assume that it comes from a Titan, more apropos - a blighted Titan.

Based on Codex entries, we know that in the time before the veil, the Kingdom of the Elven hunted and declared war against the Titans.

"In this place we prepare to hunt the pillars of the earth. Their workers scurry, witless, soulless. This death will be a mercy. We will make the earth blossom with their passing."

Mythal, the God of Justice, personally slew a Titan, destroying the dwarf kingdom.

"Hail Mythal, adjudicator and savior! She has struck down the pillars of the earth and rendered their demesne unto the People! Praise her name forever!" - Trespasser DLC.

With the defeat of a Titan, the Ancient Elves discovered lyrium from its body. The elves continued to fight with the Titans, mining their bodies for lyrium and "something else". Potentially, their hearts that control the will of the Fade.

"The runes say the Evanuris fought the Titans. They mined their bodies for lyrium and... something else. It's not clear." - Trespasser DLC.

Lyrium has plenty of benefits to a mage, however, if Titan's created the Fade, perhaps their heart's can change the will of the Fade and that's why the elven people needed to slay one, so they can acquire a heart and change their reality.

Believing that the Titans were slain, the elves resumed their lyrium mining operations, until something changed. The normal lyrium became red lyrium, affecting the workers at an alarming rate, nothing could stop this.

"For a moment, the scent of blood fills the air, and there is a vivid image of green vines growing and enveloping a sphere of fire. The vision grows dark. An aeon seems to pass. Then the runes crackle, as if filled with an angry energy. A new vision appears: elves collapsing caverns, sealing the Deep Roads with stone and magic. Terror, heart-pounding, ice-cold, as the last of the spells is cast. A voice whispers:"

"What the Evanuris in their greed could unleash would end us all. Let this place be forgotten. Let no one wake its anger. The People must rise before their false gods destroy them all." - Codex entry: Veilfire Runes in the Deep Roads.

The blight spread through red lyrium onto the Elven workers, killing and turning them into tainted ghouls. With their meddling, the Evanuris already knew what the Blight could do even to them and their people...

"One day Andruil grew tired of hunting mortal men and beasts. She began stalking The Forgotten Ones, wicked things that thrive in the abyss. Yet even a god should not linger there, and each time she entered the Void, Andruil suffered longer and longer periods of madness after returning." Codex entry: Elven God Andruil.

They figured out that the Titan was not really dead and since the Blight infects only living beings, they had no choice but to seal the mining place.

The Evanuris returned, using red lyrium as a weapon, becoming mad. Mythal protests and is betrayed and "slain", Solas forges a trap for the remaining Evanuris, creating the veil and sealing the tainted "gods" away. Not only did the veil's creation lock away the blighted Evanuris, but the veil was needed to prevent the Titans from waking up.

"He broke the dreams to keep the old dreams from waking."

- Cole

In some regards, Solas saved the elven kingdom by severing the connection the Titans had with their "children".

Finally, we make it to the theory: I believe that the blight originated within a Titan.

Before the veil, the Titans exacted their revenge, blighted and breaking the seals of its prison with its newly acquired slaves - the elven people. it mentally called the dwarves and made them break the seals from outside thus freeing it and in turn, it infected them with the taint and made them its slaves - a corrupted form of a hive-mind.

It planned to strike vengeance upon the Evanuris. After some time, through its newly acquired slaves, it found the prisons of the sleeping Old Gods and decided to infect them too. planning to unleash the Taint upon Thedas.

The Old Gods, slaves of the blighted Titan and the generals of its army: they command the entire Darkspawn horde and in turn, they are commanded by the Titan to do its bidding.

Whether the blight came from the Titans like a defensive mechanism, or a plague to defend itself from hostile forces, or if the ancient elves/forbidden ones concocted the blight by using blood magic on a slain Titan. It's still unknown.

The blight could be a natural infection. Red lyrium might just be Titan cancer, a piece of their biology mutating mid-life and turning into something destructive and dangerous. That's why the blight has so many Titan properties. It has a Hive-Mind because Titans have Hive-Minds. It Sings, because Titans Sing.

With the veil in place, the Titans returned to a remorseful slumber. Angry because they can't reconnect with their children, awaiting the chance to embrace them once more. This yearning anger has manifested throughout the years with the growth of red lyrium, and the blight's progress.

The Titans have a strong connection to The Fade, or at least an association with it. When the Magisters used blood magic to physically cross the Veil and enter the Black City, the reestablished connection between the physical world and the dreaming Fade unleashed the blight again.

With the veil's destruction, surely a blight the likes of which have never been seen would be released onto Thedas. The Titan's pain will be heard by all.

We are here

We have waited

We have slept

We are sundered

We are crippled

We are polluted

We endure

We wait

We have found the dreams again

We will awaken - Whispers Written in Red Lyrium.

__________________________________________________________

Theory: I believe Solas is a Spirit of Wisdom/Pride in the time of Arlathan

Let's start at the beginning. His name:

Solas - In elven, means: 'Pride’

Pride is mentioned a lot in ancient elven texts, and it's used in the common dialogue of ancient elven tongue. But the only time Pride is mentioned throughout the knowledge of spirits and demons, Pride is represented as a demon.

Pride Demons are known as probably the most powerful demons out there.

"because they, among all their kind, most resemble men; as clever and manipulative as the desire demon, with a penchant for cruel irony that is almost human"  -Beyond the Veil: Spirits & Demons.

In it's corrupted form, it's a malicious beast, known for it's 7 eyes. Much like the Dread Wolf’s depiction in it’s given mural…

Now there's a lot of spirits we have met in the Fade throughout Thedas, in this case, Wisdom Spirits are known for giving knowledge. Knowledge of either lore or history from the past ages.

The thing about a spirit’s nature is that it's evident who they are, and what their name describes them as, so it's easy to interpret their purpose. Cole as Compassion fixes up relationships, mourning those of the dead, and help resolve hard situations in which is hard without the need of Compassion.

The hard thing to notice is that if a Pride Demon resembles so much of humanity, and Wisdom is the opposite spectrum of Pride. Wisdom would also resemble this trait, of being human. Making Solas that much easier to tie into our reality.

"Wisdom and Purpose are too easily twisted into Pride and Desire" -Solas

The Chant of Light, says, the Spirits are the first children of the Maker. He turned his back on them because they lacked a soul – they could twist the Fade to their liking, but lacked the ability to imagine and create, and thus emulate their creator.

The only entity we can come across in ancient elvehn would be Elgar'nan,

‘Elgar’ translated in elvhen means "spirit"

‘nan’ translated means "revenge, or vengeance"

So it directly translates as ‘Spirit of Revenge/Vengeance’, whom Elgar’nan’s purpose as a God is as well...

Thus, the Evanuris could all be implemented as spirits first and came into existence to a body…

The Fade began as an "ocean of dreams" and was reduced to a well when the Maker used its "emerald waters", lyrium. He "took from the Fade a measure of its living flesh" and created men.

"They made bodies from the earth. And the earth was afraid. It fought back. But they made it forget ." — Cole

Solas begins to tell the Inquisitor that the Evanuris were remembered as Gods due to war against someone else. Either the Forgotten Ones or the Titans, it doesn't seem to matter when the result seems to resonate in Solas much more than we would expect...

I believe that when Mythal came to seek Solas for more wisdom when he was a spirit. She actually needed him for this war. What I mean is that he would now become seated as a left-hand man to Mythal - a general to help the People into the justice needed for their power.

Solas; probably being convinced, for the time being, comes into a body:

He did not want a body. But she asked him to come. — Cole

He becomes a guardian to her side, a servant of Mythal. Mythal describes those into her service more of a gift than a boon. So those who felt convinced for seeking knowledge or power must have been willing to be at her side just like Solas was.

“You didn’t do it to be right, you did it to save them.”

Solas, what is Cole talking about?

A mistake… One of many made by a much younger elf who thought he knew everything…”

Solas, as a Wisdom spirit had no desire to enter this world with a body, (such as limiting things), but for whatever reason 'she' asked him to come, she being Mythal.

‘He wants to give wisdom not orders. He isn’t that kind of wolf’ — Cole

Solas loathes his purpose. He’s Pride, but he hates it, he wants to change, wants to be Wisdom, but that’s not his purpose at this moment….

He envies Cole’s purpose as a spirit of Compassion:

‘You don’t have to envy me Solas.’ — Cole

He is sad to see his friends depart this world, knowing things are being forgotten, broken, and lost. He will endure, and he will be their Pride.

__________________________________________________________

Theory: The Griffons Are Alive, And The Wardens Know It

The Weisshaupt conspiracy:

Fortress Weisshaupt has stood through the ages as the Grey Warden’s headquarters, it is located in the southern Anderfels. During the height of the Wardens' power, the fortress was a thriving place, accommodated thousands of Wardens and a large stable of griffons.

Griffons are heroic winged beasts that joined the fights with their Grey Warden counterparts in the previous blights, as warden and beast shared an unbreakable bond throughout Weisshaupt's history.

Each of the defeated Old God’s remains are memorialized in Weisshaupt’s treasury, declaring the grand victory that the previous wardens had claimed in the name of the group.

The castle is a reflection of everything the Wardens have stood for, throughout the ages. However, in the current Dragon Age, Weisshaupt has become a barren place with a garrison of only a few hundred, the griffons are long extinct, and the reigning First Warden is rarely present.

The Grey Wardens have become irrelevant in the current age with the last blight that occurred over 10 years ago. In actuality, the Wardens have become a hindering, reckless group. During the crisis of Corypheus’s ascension to Godhood, the Orlais Grey Wardens submitted themselves to Tevinter, so they could defeat the two remaining Old God and “end the blights” once and for all.

Once Thedas’s only protectors, and now blinded by their own cause. The Wardens couldn’t even see the real enemy in front of them. And since those events, the group has become even more corrupt with rumours reporting on broken ties between the leaders at Weisshaupt, and how a civil war awaits each of them.

“Rumors abound that they severed ties with their leaders at Weisshaupt, and that a bitter war now rages between them.”

“What becomes of Hawke/Loghain/Stroud/Alistair is unknown – save that all news out of Weisshaupt soon ends.”

“Does the sudden silence indicate a battle within... or something far worse?”

Morrigan, Epilogue

Weisshaupt fortress remains silent, having gone dark from the rest of the group, but why? What caused the Wardens to stop communicating with each other? Was it merely to stop the corruption of the group from spreading, or is something even more aloof?

Have the Wardens finally met their own demise? Has each brother fought their sister? What has truly become of the Weisshaupt Wardens?

Well, perhaps it’s not as suspect as everyone in Thedas is making it out to be. The Wardens have always been a highly suspect group with many secrets, most of the general public don’t understand the Joining, there are plenty of things that the Wardens keep hidden from the average Thedosian.

So, what exactly could the Wardens of Weisshaupt be harbouring, that would force them to isolate themselves from the rest of the group?

Well, in 9:41 Dragon, several Warden-Recruits are assigned to Weisshaupt and begin a research project into records from the Fourth Blight. While there, one of the recruits discovers the diary of Isseya, a Grey Warden from the Exalted Age which reveals that there is a clutch of live Griffons hidden in the Anderfels. The new Wardens successfully rescue the griffons and resolve to return them to Weisshaupt where they will have the facilities to help the griffons re-establish themselves.

Valya; one of the recruits who found the griffon clutch, shows hesitancy at informing the wardens of her discovery. Valya says of the First Warden, Chamberlain of the Grey and High Constable:

"I don't trust them to place the griffons' well-being over power or politics." (pg 280).

Could the Wardens of Weisshaupt be fighting over what is to come for these griffons? Who controls them? How they will be raised? What will their purpose be?

The sheer existence and resurgence of Griffons in the Dragon Age could have caused the need for a sudden silence across the group, if the people of Thedas knew this secret, it could be dramatic.

And with the corrupted Wardens in the South, it may not be in Weisshaupt’s best interest to share this information with the rest of the Wardens for fear of this secret being revealed.

Perhaps this has caused a rebellion inside the Fortress, splitting the group’s leaders over the future of these griffons, and if the people of Thedas deserve to know. With factions within the Grey Wardens both agreeing and disagreeing with sharing this news to the rest of the Wardens.

A civil war brews in the Wardens HQ, will what’s left of the Griffons preserve in this Age? Or will the ignorance of the Wardens once more be an obstacle for the existence of these beasts?

Can the Warden’s rise up to their former glory? Or will they soon meet their demise? As it stands, Weisshaupt remains in the dark, the Wardens are waring amongst themselves, while the fabled Griffons return to the Dragon Age.

__________________________________________________________

Theory: I believe the Evanuris will return once the Veil is torn.

Solas' plan involves tearing down the Veil and restoring the 'time of the elves'. It is stated that when the Veil is torn, the Evanuris will return. But why does that not bode well?

'They were fickle, they amassed wars against one another' — Solas

The Evanuris are known to be power-hungry tyrants that used the bidding of their slaves for power. The more power they received, the more the threat they posed against the world.

'Had I not created the Veil, the Evanuris would have destroyed the entire world' — Solas

It is stated that Falon'Din began wars to amass more slaves, and filled lakes as wide as oceans for those who wouldn't bow low to his shadow.

Andruil, made armors of the Void, hunting the Forgotten Ones in the thrill of the hunt. And brought back plagues and speaking about madness, things forgotten.

‘One day Andruil grew tired of hunting mortal men and beasts. She began stalking The Forgotten Ones, wicked things that thrive in the abyss. Yet even a god should not linger there, and each time she entered the Void, Andruil suffered longer and longer periods of madness after returning.

Andruil put on armor made of the Void, and all forgot her true face. She made weapons of darkness, and plague ate her lands. She howled things meant to be forgotten, and the other gods became fearful Andruil would hunt them in turn.’  — Translated from ancient elven found in the Arbor Wilds, source unverified.

Ghilan'nain made monstrous beasts that threatened both the skies of the heavens and the depths of the earth. Even rumored to have used the body of slaves and animals as armor.

Elgar'nan cast down the sun unto the earth, seeping the life's blood onto the land. Eidolons were made by thousands of slaves built upon mountains, screaming his worship upon the lands.

'You said that the Elvhen Gods went too far. What did they do they made you move against them?' — Inquisitor

'They killed Mythal' — Solas

The Evanuris plotted out the kill the All-Mother of the Pantheon. They were crazed by reaching for ultimate power, by killing even their own kin to do so.

“She cared for her people, she protected them, she was a voice of reason, and in their lust for power, they killed her” — Solas

The Evanuris warred against one another commonly, this civil war began first with them being generals against the Forbidden and Forgotten Ones.

'Long ago, there were two clans of gods, the Creators, who looked after the people, the Forgotten Ones preyed upon us' - Merrill

'After the war ended, they became respected elders, then kings, and finally Gods, the Evanuris.' — Solas

They banished those of that kin and were rose up into godhood for their power. Sent them to belong in the Abyss, and thrive on things forgotten to somehow bring their People into glory. However, that did not last, slaves represented power in the Pantheon.

Such power was not given freely, all were threatened by each of their knowledge and striked against one another to become divine. When Mythal became a voice of reason to protect her own People, they killed her and began planning to gain power against all who opposed them, making them almost unstoppable.

Solas then began a plan to stop this once and for all:

'Fen'Harel was clever. He went to each side and told them the other had forged a terrible weapon, a blade that would end the war.' — Merrill

Solas trapped both the Gods, by putting them in their respectful places, banishing them to an eternity of torment.

'He sealed them both in their realms forever.' — Merrill

'And when they went too far, I formed the Veil and banished them forever' — Solas

'You banished the false Gods, you didn't kill them?' — Inquisitor

Solas then created the Veil to trap the false gods into their respective prisons.

'Hiding, hurting, and to wake them.' — Cole

The Evanuris were now trapped from destroying the world, Solas begins to state that he finally freed the elvhen people, but their results ended in destroying their world as well...

But there are still some remnants of being alive to return once again:

“You meet Mythal did you not? The first of my People do not die so easily” — Solas

Since the Evanuris will return, I believe their remnants must already grasp some remains of beings of Thedas. Just as similar as to when the Breach stirred the Titan, the Evanuris could be having the same effect as well.

"There are no gods. There is only the subject and the object, the actor and the acted upon. Those with will to earn dominance over others gain title not by nature but by deed."

"Let Andruil's bow crack, let June's fire grow cold. Let them build temples and lure the faithful with promises. Their pride will consume them, and I, forgotten, will claim power of my own, apart from them until I strike in mastery." —  Codex entry: Geldauran's Claim

__________________________________________________________

Theory: I believe the Dread Wolf will Rise.

'When He rises, everyone will see' — Sandal

It is already claimed in the teaser trailer that the Dread Wolf will rise. Solas, the next antagonist will rise up against his opposers in the next instalment.

However, the Dread Wolf rising doesn't have to be him doing so physically, but rather, rising up to take responsibility in ending our Veil-like world to restore his elvhen People.

'I will save the elvhen people, even if this world may die' — Solas

Particularly, what will Solas 'rise up' to do when ending our world? The mural we saw looks as if the Dread Wolf is rising much higher above the elvhen bald-figure, and poses as a threat with its red eyes. Could Solas be looking for a source of power to rise against the Veil?

'The shadows will part, and the skies will open wide.' — Sandal

'I would've entered the Fade using the mark you now bear, then I would have torn down the Veil. As this world burned in the raw-chaos, I would've restored the world of my time, the world of the elves. ' — Solas

At the beginning of the Inquisition, Solas kept at a nearby village to retrieve the Orb that carried power over a period of time for millennia. Solas' plan was to retrieve the Orb after Corypheus had died unlocking it, and then have the mark which the Inquisitor bears.

His plan the whole time for this world, was to destroy it and revive the world of his time with the elvhen and also the evil Evanuris.  He gave the orb to Corypheus so it could gain enough power to tear down the Veil, which is what he wanted all along. He would have risen up to power and created a plan to destroy the Evanuris before they got their chances of gaining ultimate power.

I believe not only his first personal plan involves him rising up to power against the Pantheon. But that he also 'rose' from a slumber he took. Solas now has awoken to a Tranquil-like world, and will begin his journey to go against the forces of this world. Seeking help where he can reach with spirits and the elvhen, and then opening the Veil in the sky and render the Fade into the Waking world as one.

'I was too weak to unlock it after my slumber' — Solas

He seemed quite sad when the orb broke after all the orb was key to opening eluvians and the Fade.

After defeating Corypheus, Solas’s last chance after the Orb broke was to reach out to Mythal and gain enough power to tear down the Veil. He takes the remnants she bestows to him, and he begins his journey to rise up against the Veil. He starts by taking over control of the eluvians, unleashing spirits to fight against the Qunari threat.

Solas isn't messing around this time, he finally has some amount of power to break the Veil and restore a world before it becomes bad. But how will he rise?

Thedas knows very little of the Dread Wolf, known as a treacherous, merciless, figure that is heavily feared in Dalish tales, the Evanuris fear it too.

'The pages of this book-memory?- warn of a terrible danger, a wolf with slavering black jaws and pits for eyes. The Evanuris-the elven gods-stand in a ring around it, as if preventing it from attacking.

"Beware the forms of Fen'Harel The Dread Wolf comes in humble guises, a wanderer who knows much of the People and their spirits. He will offer advice that seems fair, but turns slowly to poison. Remember the price of treason, and keep in your heart the mercy of your gods."'

— Note: The Treachery of the Wolf

This depiction of Solas having pits for eyes, and slavering black jaws, they warn those of the terrible danger coming. Wherever the Evanrus are hiding, they are surrounding this Dread Wolf to prevent any attacks. What could be speculated is the factor that Solas and the Dread Wolf could be different aspects of each other, like Corypheus puts an aspect in his Red Lyrium Dragon. This, could be closer to a red lyrium wolf.

What if, as described in the codex, Solas is going to finally reach the place were the Evanuris are hiding, use this aspect of himself, the Dread Wolf, to rip open the Veil?

However, the Veil is to be known recently to be weaker than it has ever been since the Breach:

The Tevinters once theorised that the Veil is thin in places that have seen great bloodshed. — Codex entry: Tears in the Veil

Demons seize every opportunity, every tear in the Veil, to enter our world. The Breach is living proof of the chaos it can unleash. In Hushed Whispers was living proof of how the world can become...

But it is theorized that the Veil tends to be weaker in places that feature, or have experienced, extensive death or use of magic.

‘Small tears occur naturally when magic weakens the Veil or when Spirits cluster at an area that has seen many deaths’ — Solas

The tear occurs because spirits are attracted to death and they press against the Veil. The Veil is particularly thin at night when most people sleep and spirits are most active. The use of blood magic can allow the Veil to be torn so that demons may physically pass through it into the waking world.

Once the Veil is torn in places, it is extremely difficult to mend, and some might even say impossible. "Mending" these Tears, i.e. strengthening the Veil, is extremely difficult. Depending on the level of damage done to the Veil, it can be closed through several methods ei. The Anchor.

One place that is particularly known to have the Veil thinner, is Kirkwall. A lot of chaos was constantly influenced upon that city, and that is ultimately where we first located Red Lyrium as well…

It is well known that the Veil is thin in Kirkwall, small wonder given the suffering in the city. But we've discovered the magisters were deliberately thinning it even further. Beneath the city, demons can contact even normal men. Did they seek the Black City to compound the madness of their previous efforts? Or was it something else? We've found a chamber where the Veil is at its thinnest, long-since looted, but the power is still there. — Band of Three,  The Enigma of Kirkwall

What is known is that places around Thedas where deaths/chaos have occurred more than frequently are now further weakening the Veil. For Solas, that only means an easy key to breaking the barrier that separates the Fade from the Waking World.

“You’d murder countless people?” — The Inquisitor

‘Wouldn’t you to save your own?’ — Solas

The sky may have never healed ever since the Inquisitor sealed the breach, which may prove worthy for Solas’s plan to destroy the veil. His execution to tearing down the Veil might work once and for all.

And the sky is healed. Healthy, whole, there’s just that left to remember.. - Cole.

A new dawn is appearing, the dawn is coming upon Thedas.

‘One day the magic will come back - all of it. Everyone will be just like they were.’ — Sandal

Solas will rise as the Dread wolf to take the Veil down, and whether his plans are fully executed, could be the end of our time…

‘We aren’t even people to you?’ — Inquisitor

‘Not at first, you showed me I was wrong, you were people and you deserved better. Like all the rest I used after one hopeless battle after another.’ — Solas

__________________________________________________________

Theory: I believe that Mythal is the true Antagonist of Dragon Age.

'For a reckoning that will shake the very heavens. She was betrayed, as I was betrayed, as the world was betrayed! Mythal clawed and crawled through the ages to me, and I will see her avenged!' — Flemeth/Mythal

All Mother, all Protector, a voice of reason, who calmed Elgar'nan's rage, has been betrayed by her own kin. She is the Goddess of Justice and is due for her bidding.

In Ancient times of Arlathan, Mythal, born out of a sea of the Earth's tears.

"In most stories, Mythal rights wrongs while exercising motherly kindness." — Morrigan

She was the aducator of her Elvhen People. Making sure threats were kept at bay, and opposers stuck down for justice.

“Let fly your voice to Mythal. Deliverer of justice. Protector of sun and earth alike.

Pray to Mythal and she would smite your enemies, leaving them in agony" — Morrigan

Mythal was a speaker for all people and even the Evanuris, yet her actions were recorded to be sinister like the rest of the Evanuris:

'Other paint her as dark, vengeful.' — Morrigan

Being more than the other Evanuris gave Mythal an edge, a way to take any of them on and win. hence her dark side being interpreted in tales. She demonstrates this ability in confrontation with Andruil.

So Mythal spread rumors of a monstrous creature and took the form of a great serpent, waiting for Andruil at the base of a mountain.

When Andruil came, Mythal sprang on the hunter. They fought for three days and nights, Andruil slashing deep gouges in the serpent's hide. But Mythal's magic sapped Andruil's strength and stole her knowledge of how to find the Void. After this, the great hunter could never make her way back to the abyss, and peace returned.

— Translated from ancient elven found in the Arbor Wilds, source unverified.

This also makes her nigh impossible to defeat, but she has one glaring weakness: her desire to protect the People. In the time of Arlathan, Titans were threatening the Elvhen, and Mythal sought out the Titan to stop the chaos of their lands.

"Hail Mythal, adjudicator and savior! She has struck down the pillars of the earth and rendered their demesne unto the People! Praise her name forever!"

—  Codex entry: Veilfire Runes in the Deep Roads

So, when the People kill their first Titan, and in the process unleash the Blight:

'The vision grows dark. An aeon seems to pass. Then the runes crackle as if filled with angry energy.

A new vision appears: elves collapsing caverns, sealing the Deep Roads with stone and magic.

Terror, heart-pounding, ice-cold, as the last of the spells, is cast.'

—  Codex entry: Veilfire Runes in the Deep Roads

Mythal, having a closer association with the Land (the Stone, the Titans) knows exactly what has happened and sacrifices herself to keep the Taint at bay. She splits herself into aspects and buries them as a magical seal against the Taint, replacing the lost Titan. One aspect she keeps on the surface world, to remain among the People. This sacrifice made her vulnerable and the other Evanuris did not hesitate to strike.

'they killed Mythal, a crime for which an eternity of torment is the only fitting punishment.' — Solas

Then Solas moves against the Evanuris, creating the Veil and banishing them into their respective prisons until the bidding of Mythal comes. In which, she has put herself into aspects that effect chaos throughout the lands, buying time for power, until she becomes one again. It awakens and takes form when an uncorrupted piece of Mythal is found by a Tainted priest, their form becoming malicious and broken, until an effective ritual to retrieve the soul uncorrupted...

Flemeth, as we know now to be Mythal, has been manipulating the Ages ever since, she enforces the effective immortality unto her bodies of her daughter to live an abnormal life to endure the ages, all the while.

'Seeking the Justice denied to her' — Flemeth

Mythal has been quite busy after her death when Solas created the Veil, it seems that

'Mythal still endures' — Solas

Solas is now enforcing her plan, it seems to pain him that his mistakes cause further action to take place with Flemeth.

'I am so sorry' — Solas, Epilogue

Solas respects Mythal. He once sealed away the Thedosian versions of heaven and hell and shook the world to its foundations in order to avenge her murder. Now, his own mistake—getting the Orb to Corypheus—means that he himself will now have to take her life and do her bidding.

She plans to seek revenge for the Evanuris, she does not care for the Veil-like world, she believes it was a last-minute effort against an enemy, she seeks to bring all into the new Age, where she rules, the Dragon Age.

'A soul is not forced upon the unwilling, Morrigan, you were never in danger from me.' — Flemeth

[kyoreiohara]

It's the Weirdest Thing

So, I know maybe, like, five people will read this and all, but...remember 9/11? Specifically, after 9/11, when America suddenly realized that police, firemen, paramedics, and soldiers were, in fact, human beings. When "Thank You for Your Service" entered into the lexicon, for a good few years.

Now, it's being extended to a new group of people. People we've abused, underpaid, and characterized the very existence of as a failure. A burden. A waste of potential and a loathesom crust not at the bottom of the barrel, but beneath the barrel, entirely.

Nurses.

Delivery drivers.

Sanitation workers.

Construction workers.

Food workers.

Cleaners.

Truckers.

Restauranteurs.

RETAIL CLERKS and SHELF STOCKERS.

Some of the above are paid minimum wage, given no benefits, and are treated, habitually by both their management and society as subhuman beasts of burden, targets for us all to take our frustration out on. They clock in every day, because it's the job they fell into in a bad market, and better jobs haven't made it back since the end of the Clinton Administration, when all our computer jobs got sold to India and Bangladesh. They clock in every day, because the very idea of a cubicle farm is their private Hell. They clock in every day, because it gets them out of the house, and they genuinely like dealing with people to a degree, and they need that level of socialization. They clock in, to slave wages, benefit cuts, mistreatment, demonization and dehumanization, every day.

They clock IN.

...and it has literally taken a traumatic event across the entire planet, the modern plague, the new killer thing unleashed upon us all, that the average member of any of those jobs, who gets told they have to show up during hurricanes and blizzards, plagues and riots, whether they like it or not, lest they lose the only jobs they feel they are allowed...it took a planetary virus scare to realize:

Those are HUMAN BEINGS.

I have literally never seen the media say how much my sector of work is essential before. I have literally, not once, seen customers actively thank me for existing in our society, as I have recently. I have never seen myself, the work I do, or the company I work for, be described as more than "a social parasite" or "a vestigial lump of flesh on our economy"...as "essential"...until now.

It's a heavy damn thing to think upon. That after twenty years of clocking in, that if there weren't millions of me, this country would have long fallen apart, and most of us get paid peanuts and left in the cold to die, because we've been seen as disposable for eons. And suddenly...we're essential. Suddenly we're thanked. Suddenly, we're a "service".

The cynic in me knows that this will be forgotten almost immediately, once it's all over. I know damn well, the moment people try to return their hoards of toilet paper and get denied, a flood of Karens will demand we be fired for it. People will refuse to tip. People will roll their eyes at someone being "just" a nurse. Once this is all over, the other shoe will drop, and it's right back into the social trash heap we'll go. More pay cuts, more lost benefits, more schedule chicanery, and less safe working conditions.

But...part of me hopes? Part of me thinks, maybe the world will finally learn? Maybe we can take this opportunity, this rare moment of societal empathy, and use it to grow and become less horrible to each other on some level.

It immediately gets told to shut up, because Columbine was our opportunity to stop going out of our way to encourage school bullying, and look where that got us...but that hope is still there.

[thelordstears]

I can’t possibly stop writing. I fear I’d cease to exist and crumble into ashes (And that’d suck)

“ People don't need to drop a single drop of blood from their own kind to make it in this world, but unfortunately, we call ourselves animal to excuse such animalistic acts.” - Brooke Woodwarde 

“ We are no wolves, we are no sheep, we're people. But I don't see us acting as such. We act as if we were beasts, sent here to destroy. Odin, lives in honor, we do not reflect that. There's no honor in unnecessary bloodshed. We aren't human, anymore.” - Brooke Woodwarde

“ Who cares if the knights worship one Lord? For all we know there could be nothing in the skies but clouds and stars.” - Brooke Woodwarde

“ This is a land of war, not a land of honor. We poisoned the garden and asked why it withered." - Brooke Woodwarde

"Your mind is not so sympathetic, your mind is the greatest torture device in your arsenal. It works against you, just as a shattered clock ticks in the wrong direction, your mind thinks all wrong, wicked deeds plague you, but once you learn to accept you're no decent human being you learn, perhaps broken never meant bad.” - Elton Sederfault

“ I have been through many a torment, many a tragedy, so much so that I believe I became one.” - Elton Sederfault

“ My heart has been torn from my chest so horrifically, you wouldn't believe what beats inside my chest. Oh it's such an ugly creature, wrought with sin and hatred, but once upon a time a love for the world. But this gem inside my chest, this beautiful diamond lost it's glimmer. And now, it's nothing but coals, and the fire shalt only burn other's." - Elton Sederfault

“ Tom is broken, in some ways. But da most beautiful of things always are. 'E's stronger den 'e could eva' know, he's me damn son, and I love 'im, and if 'e ever needed a shield against da bullet's the world sends 'is way, I'll stand in front'a him and make sure 'e knew, I's got 'is damn back, always.” - Cleopatra Peterson

“ Look, ya could act as if yer past were chains that drag ya down, or ya could realize ya hold the key, and it's a little bit 'a faith.” - Cleopatra Peterson

"Perfection is an abnormality we can't achieve, who ever says they're perfect is either a liar or extremely lost in their very own delusion.” - Cruz Santinos

“ Reality is much, much, stranger than fiction. Because what I see, it's real, perhaps not to you, but I see it, and by God, does it scare me.” - Cruz Santinos

“ Here I am, lost in a world unraveled travelling these lands, wishing I was alone. But with a plague such as mine? I ain't never alone. By God do I wish I could be lonely, for once. These voices don't leave, and with a world devoid of medicine, there ain't no cure no more.” - Cruz Santinos

“ People don't give a fuck, they'll tear into you, and say you were the one serving the platter. What's a rabbit to a wolf but a means to an end?” - Cas Holts

“ Ya know, the sun always rises but that don't mean the days always warm. There's morning dew, the frost that lays against the damn trees, and snow that cuts against your damn cheek. The sun rising don't bring warmth it just brings a little bit of damn hope.” - Cas Holts

“ Welcome, welcome, come round, gather to watch the greatest show of all time. The fall of Ellsworth Davis, the showman, the mad man, the tyrant of the circus! He's watched you all suffer, so why not make him suffer huh? Suffering leads to hatred, and hatred leads to villainy.” - Ellsworth Davis

“ I watch the lion leap through the ring of fire and let his mane burn simply for my pleasure, the one whom tames the animals gets eaten alive by the wolves he though family, the strongman is crushed beneath his own weights, and the clown puts on a smile for all, but deep inside knows, a painted smile is all he could ever manage. You might as well call me P.T Barnum, because I am a cruel being, using humans as my very own freak show attraction! The elephant man would snap his own neck because all he ever wanted to do, was be normal. But no, he was a freak of nature they said! An atrocity! A circus act only to be displayed but never sympathized for! We are all freakish in nature, knowing normality is something we can't achieve.” - Ellsworth Davis

“ I run the sinners circus, I let lions leap through flames and trapeze artists swing through the air with no net. And I suppose, the joke was always on me." - Ellsworth Davis

"If this is life, and all I ever was is a perpetrator of evil deeds, than give me the very thing I've given so many other's. Besides, death is the only thing that could save me.” - Dylan Huffers

“ I got some devils ta slay and some damn debts ta pay. Ya listenin', devil who broke me so? Cause if ya thought Hell was bad, let me introduce ya ta vengeance.” - Dylan Huffers

“ I coulda been a saint long 'go, but now I'm nothin' but an angry bull, ready ta charge at the matador who provoked me. Show me the color 'a red, and I'll show you a darker hue.” - Dylan Huffers

“ I'd pray ta bring back my wings, but where has prayer ever gotten me? An echo of silence and my thoughts, so right where I began.” - Dylan Huffers

“ My mother is a memory, she was a hero, maybe not in the world's eyes, but my own. I guess, we get what we fucking get and don't throw a fit. So save me, or don't. I can deal with both salvation and damnation, so long as I get peace." - Dylan Huffers

"They say fear is a survival mechanism, it keeps you alive, but from what I've seen first hand fear is no survival mechanism, it is in fact the very opposite. Fear is what gets you killed, and he who lives without it, pulls the trigger.” Redacted

“ I am a God, a dynasty, a ruler. They say all rulers fall, but here I am, opposing that rule. I could sweep down and cut anyone I please down, because I'm feared. The key to ruling a kingdom is fear, your subjects fear the consequence of their actions, whether it be death or suffering they'll never know.” Redacted

“ All you need to appease the crowd is a jacket of good deeds.” Redacted

“ If you live life in sorrow, that is no life at all, perhaps you're past is a sorrowful tale, but don't let that define your future.” - Lacey Rose

“ Family can be anyone, people you met while you held onto Hell, or people who dragged you into the light, even if you kicked, screamed and resisted. We are all of us beautiful, and we deserve the chance to know it.” - Lacey Rose

"I think the path we're given is often one to follow, and if you go astray, just listen to your heart, it'll usually lead you in the right direction. Sure, it might break every once in awhile, but who said a little love can't fix the heart? It's the only remedy known to cure a broken heart.” - Gideon Rose

“ My mother has always said, "Son, don't let the world kill ya. You're stronger than the image the world wants to paint you as." And isn't that just beautiful? You don't have to be the canvas someone has made you out to be. You hold your own brush, and though your canvas may be filled with scars, paint over them. Yes, they'll remain upon the surface, but they'll be hidden from the present, and you don't have to face them unless you're ready.” - Gideon Rose

“ You look at me as you would a homeless man, "Oh he's just another drug addict, lost to the world's poison." But alas, society has never been a caring one, they say, "Look! Look at this poor mistreated fool! Watch him suffer! It's all he can do these days!" Isn't it amusing, how we damn what we don't understand because it'd be too much of a burden to understand it?” - Arthur Wellburn

“ We're all broken these days, wishing we could fix what we can never have, but we were never given the tools, so how do you expect us to create?” - Arthur Wellburn

“ I have a daughter, but surely she couldn't be proud of me, because I'm not even proud of myself, these days. So how can another claim a lie the truth when I already know it's heresy rolling of their tongue?” - Arthur Wellburn

“ No one man can withstand the storm forever. Eventually he chokes on the rain, it scalds his flesh and lightning strikes him down because all he ever was, is another casualty of a naturality.” - Arthur Wellburn

“ Ya might as well call me young Icarus, because I've put up my defenses and I'm damn well ready ta fly into the sun ta get what I seek. I may plummet from the sky on burnin' wings and hit the damn concrete face first, but if I can find myself after all these years, I'd rather be ashes then who I ain't.” - Zane Harrenburrow

“ Ya know, my life's been filled with scars that I wear on my damn sleeve, but I'm battle ready and unafraid of the god damn night. Because I've been through the dark before, and he who knows his own shadow, don't gotta fear what it'll do when the sun sinks and it ain't visible no more.” - Zane Harrenburrow

“ I've learned a helluva lot in this life of mine, most of all a bullet is the only thing that'll save a sinful man from himself. A threat or a reality, either way he'll be free from his actions, and so will the world.” - Delana Whinrich

“ When you stand in the midst of the option to save the world or yourself, choose the world for God's sake, don't make the same mistake I did.” - Delana Whinrich

“ Ya know, a man once told me, it was me pulling the trigger, whilst he held a gun to my father's head. But I've come to realize, whoever holds the gun has a choice, and thus is the one letting the damn bullet fly. Perhaps I pulled the trigger and pressed the detonator, but ya know what? I'm still a damn soldier. I fight for myself, the ones I love and the freedom of a shackled world. I'm a killer, but at least I can benefit the damn world huh?" - Delana Whinrich

"The world doesn't miss anybody, it's the people who grieve, not the earth." - Delana Whinrich

"The Queen's gambit, the act of moving a pawn upon your board as a means to sacrifice him but give the opponent a disadvantage. I think if one is to proceed with the Queen's gambit, the pawn should always be oneself.” - Romiro Smilowitz

“ People say God don't speak, but I think his actions speak a helluva lot louder than his words. We're still alive, and isn't that proof that he still has something in store for us? We may not have an instruction manual to fix the world, but all we need is our hearts and each other.” - Romiro Smilowitz

“ I'd rather be remembered as a man who did what was right, then a man who did what would keep him kicking. Survival is about how far you'll go, but life? It's about where you cross the damn line." - Romiro Smilowitz

"I'm brave, but not in the traditional sense. I block off my emotion in a battle, because I've found all it'll do is hurt me. I've let emotion control me in life before, all it resulted in was loss of life. I'm a blank slate of empty emotion.” - Cosmina Winchester

“ Everything I am is often associated with the vultures, because death hovers around me, it's as if I'm to be picked clean of good intentions and left out to rot with nothing but an ill mind.” - Cosmina Winchester

“ This cell of myself is constricting, because I fear myself, but I won't let that fear consume me. Because if I fear myself well and truly, I can't pick up a blade and show others, I am too be feared.” - Cosmina Winchester

"The roots of my family tree are wicked, but, as am I. I hang from this blackened tree, my body three feet above ground, I swing from my very own wickedness, choking on the feeble distraught of my very own sin. I look at the hands that put me in this noose, and I recognize them, the rings and the scars, the bruises and the callouses, because by God, they're my own.” - Mike Duster

“ I'm sinful down to my very core, because I was born a monster, my father has always told me, "If ya can't sin, you can't survive." But my mother has always said, "When ya get bucked off the path, you get back on the saddle." How am I to do both? Because I fear I am the very horse who bucked me off a cliffside and careened my way towards a safer clearing.” - Mike Duster

“ How is one to breathe in existence, if she doesn't even know the definition?” - Cathletta Mason

“ The hands of my father can't touch me in death.” - Cathletta Mason

“ I'm a demon in human form, a demon princess as Zargrod would say. He's sinful to his very core, and one day, he'll be my King of scorched intentions and wicked deeds. I'll be his Queen of bloodied gown and sinful lust, because what am I to do but let this love burn me to ash?” - Cathletta Mason

“ Life don't last forever honey, but my story will." - Cathletta Mason

"I look inside my chest and find my heart is a blood moon the shade of black.” - Idian Witson

“ I have claws made of sin and bone, all they do is rip into saints, its as if I'm a cheetah, because these claws don't retract, they tear into the soil as I bound and leap through the fields to pounce on the unaware gazelle who only ever wanted to graze in the grass, but would learn it was a hunting grounds.” - Idian Witson

“ I suppose I'm out of my mind, my heart is as pitch black as the nebula and as far away from warmth as Pluto.” - Idian Witson

“ They say we're all sinners, I just wish I hadn't taken it ta a higher degree.” - Greg Metals

“ I've lived my life on the highway, the revving of engines and the roar of motorcycles. But if only I hadn't become the damn crash everyone looks upon in horror. My bones broke, my heart cracked and scattered across the damn highway, but it wasn't me who was killed by the horrific accident, by God it was other's, and by God it haunts me.” - Greg Metals

“ So raise a damn glass for the tired biker, or poison the glass and finally let 'im drop. Cheers, am I right?" - Greg Metals 

  “ Sluzmink says it's about time someone told the damn truth. So you know what? He'll find the truth isn't bloodstained, it isn't glorified sin and bone, it's me and my six shooter with nothing but my fucking rage.” - Vivian McDermot

“ Life don't gotta be bloodstained, but Sluzmink's will be.” - Vivian McDermot

“ When someone loses everything, she's free to do whatever she pleases so long as it's in sorrow. And this vengeance of mine is  a sorrowful tale. Because by the end I'll hold the broken corpse of Sluzmink fucking Jones, but I'll also hold the corpse of me.” - Vivian McDermot

“ Vengeance is a slippery slope, and I'm gonna tumble down this cliffside and take Sluzmink with me.” - Vivian Mcdermot

"You want injustice you have to get through law, and these days that wall is thin as a sheet of paper.” - Alberto Newhill

“ I've got my badge of honor and my pistol, but God, how can one man face a thousand and come out the other side of the battle alive?” - Alberto Newhill

“ One man can bury a secret, but a whole town can unbury it with integrity and will power.” - Alberto Newhill

“ The runt of the littler is the least likely to survive it's a sad fact, but true. You can't be a sheep when wolves have taken over the world, monsters hide in plain sight and I suppose I'm one of em.” - Redacted (Different one from before)

“ The street lights shine light on me only because they fear what I'd do in the dark.” - Redacted

“ A wolf in sheep's clothing is deadlier than a wolf in fur." - Redacted

"They called me sadistic killer, countess of blood, a reincarnation of Countess Bathory, the story upon the News naming me Countess of death. I'm nothing more than sin and divinity wrapped in barbed wire and glory.” - Tilda Hawsberry

“ 'm so wrapped in flames it's become my dress, I twirl through this stage, embers and sparks alighting a blaze so magnificent that even the bug burning in the firepit would call it beauty.” - Tilda Hawsberry

“ Most live in a single moment, and forget that their life is made of up many little moments that define who they are. We all live ruled by fate, but what if, fate, betrayed you? The roll of the dice land on snake eyes and you end up in debt, or worse, in a coffin.” - Tilda Hawsberry

“ How is it I am to survive in a world that's already damned me? Am I to cast myself into the flame so another can not?” - Shandalar Belrie

“ I fled from the place I found pain, but still it follows me.” - Shandalar Belrie

“ I wish such cruel harms on the King, but if I were to kill him, I would in turn stab myself in the back and leave myself bleeding on his floor.” - Shandalar Belrie

“ How am I to live in the moment when all I can remember is the past?” - Shandalar Belrie

“ Forgive me, Gods, for I have sinned. And I only wish to survive so long as I have a path to follow that leads me to you." - Shandalar Belrie

"I haven't lost faith in God, only myself.” - Jack Samson

“ I brandish a pistol and a badge, but do I brandish a heart?” - Jack Samson

"Heroes aren't remembered, but that don't mean they're lost in the soils of history. A hero don't gotta go down in history, just up in flames for a good cause.” - Miella Fang

“ I'm a hero, not because I pull a trigger but because I don't. A bullet won't save someone who wishes to be better, sometimes all ya need to do is put that gun back in your damn holster and offer your hand to the broken soul in front of ya.” - Miella Fang

“ He says no one can kill the idea of him, that he'll go down in history, then I'll give him his damn wish. But to go down in history, first he's gotta go down.” - Miella Fang

"You first have to light a match to feel the flame, but who said it's gotta scald your heart? Why not let it melt instead? In love, in another's heart, in joy to be alive. Not every flame is lethal.” - Lorelei Metals

“ I used to weep because I thought love was a lost cause, but when Lillian holds my hand and tells me I'm hers, I feel truly, alive. And isn't it beautiful, to live for another while still living for yourself?” - Lorelei Metals

“ I could let my thoughts be bullets, or I could let them be flowers that'll blossom into the most beautiful and prospering ideas.” - Lorelei Metals

“ I love who I am, I've evolved so much, and.. I think my sister would be proud of that. God, how I miss her. She was always my hero, in all her tattooed bisexual glory.” - Lorelei Metals

“ I've been wild all my life, been caught in the riptide 'a all my pretty lil sins, but I had ta do those things ta stay topside the soil, so is it a crime ta wanna live? If it's a crime ta defend myself, give me a death sentence and call it justice” - Ivy Felinmote

“ I ain't the best woman, but I do try my best. I ain't no hero, never have been, I'm just a girl with a baseball bat and some elbow grease.” - Ivy Felinmote

“ I miss pops, he didn't deserve the fate 'e got. But now he's in the soil, and I suppose I got myself ta blame for that. I can spin the tale a thousand different ways, but it always ends with a bullet and tears.” - Ivy Felinmote

"I am the singular black rose in the garden.” - Madam Stephanie Rose

“A gardener would cut me from his garden of silk red roses and yellow poppies because I don't fit the aura in all my darkness and thorns. Not even my petals are beautiful, they reek of death and corruption.” - Madam Stephanie Rose

“ But now she's a wisp in my mind, a ghost haunting the halls of my mind, because she's gone, by the Gods she's gone and there's nothing I can do to bring her back. I've looked in every spell book, prayed to every God, but you need a body to bring back the dead, and I have nothing of her but memories.” - Madam Stephanie Rose

“ I could step into a garden and every rose would wilt and whither away into nothing but dust. I'm such a sinful creature that even nature can't accept me. As I said, I am the singular black rose in the garden, my thorns dig into my heart and the pitch of my heart becomes dark, the flowing of my blood in my veins becomes venomous and the petals I brandish whither and wilt and turn to dust before my eyes.” - Madam Stephanie Rose

"I'm a shootin' star hurtlin' towards greatness as if it were the got damn dinosaurs. I know greatness is a relative term, but all it takes ta be a great man is ta help other's with your actions, eh?” - Church Godsel

“ I'd rather be alone with my thoughts than surrounded in people who don't know what it is ta live.” - Church Godsel

“ I'd step inta the frontlines ta save an innocent man, my father don't like bloodshed, he wonders how we made such an egregious deed honorable, but I think so long as you got good intentions with that rifle 'a yours you gotta save who you can with the bullets you got.” - Church Godsel

"I am woven in the most beautiful of horrors, and the most delusional mystique.” - Alviro Conritz

“ I met evil when I was only a child, he was my father, after all. In all his delusions and all his horrors, he was my father, and I only wish for him to see one thing. My revolver before his final moments flash before my eyes.” - Alviro Conritz

“ I am the thing that goes bump in the night, I am the boogeyman and one of the thirty six murderers you will pass in your lifetime.” - Alviro Conritz

“ I drowned myself and people expect me to be my past self. But he's dead, isn't he? That scared little boy is gone, buried somewhere deep inside the woods behind his childhood home. I could look myself in the eye, and I'd stab myself in the back just to get ahead. Perhaps this is why I bleed so heavily, because I betrayed myself in a sense. But I won't stop, there's something therapeutic about all this madness.” - Alviro Conritz

"Ya know, I thought history was cruel. And then I lived it." - Marv Callemritz

"Sometimes, the monsters are the ones we trust the most, even if we don't wanna believe it." - Mathias Gonvable

"Oh I have long since learned that when it rains, it pours heavy on your beaten and tattered soul. Hold a dollar to the sky, the wind will pick up, and take it away in one gust, the wind, blows, blows, blows, and in its wake, trouble comes, but oh it surely doesn't go, friend." - Shawn Werdelstein

"I am the dark, and where I go trouble follows, so tread lightly, this territory is protected with fangs and old scars." - Shawn Werdelstein

"Livin' in reality, it gets dark, twisted. I suppose that's the nature of all things." - Shawn Werdelstein

"Zachary ya ain't so much a God, you hold the power 'a one, there's a difference in that. The statue of a God can be toppled, a God himself can not." - Klaus Van Velk

"When the world is at it's all time low, I am at my all time high." - Klaus Van Velk

"We already were fuckin' free mate, do you fink your politicians fought for freedom? Dey fight for bloodlust and bloodlust alone. Dey fight for demselves, if dey cared bout da cause, dey'd pick up da rifle demselves." - Winfield Coleman

"I could look into my soul, but all I'd find is desolation." - Scarletta Bonewhistle

“I'd say you deserve mercy, my brother. But that'd make both of us liars." - Violetta Gursoch

"Sometimes you have to realize the only way to win, is to own a black heart." - Ares Malstone

"Blame God all ya want Wes, but c'mon, give me a lil credit." - Gunther Mirowick

"I am but a wolf, feasting on his own wool." - Drake Chains

"Salvation holds no price too heavy to pay." - Shilo Downsworth

"I've learned justice and mercy can not, and will not, live side by side. I've watched as people tried, to show mercy to the wicked, yet in turn, they shoved a blade in their back, and the cycle of evil only continued." - Shilo Dowsnworth

"The element 'a surprise will be enough ta take out more than a few soldiers. Trust me, when guns go'a blazin' and the echo of mortality falterin' starts ringin' through the damn sky, even soldiers cower." - Davy Blight

"You could call me a saint, but I'd prove you wrong for a single gold coin." - Lugarn the Shadow

"I can't call myself a hero when I've never saved a life." - Grifold Hangers

"Life will pass you by if you don't live it." - Leonard Bakers

"I found living the wild side of life will only end in a wild way. There's no peace when you're living in chaos." - Moon Crimsonburn

"We're all saints in a world that forces us to be sinners." - Terrance Possematto

"People born into a bad life will think that's what it means to live." - Sarkelus Johnson

"I've found if it is darkness you seek, it is darkness you shall find. Seek out the light between the shadows, and you'll find it." - Victor Da Ville

"In that house of God, in that holy church, all I found was darkness and secrets no one would ever wish to see in the light." - Samina Gelbrook

"We're far from Heaven, close ta Hell, burnin' in our sins as if we were nothin' more but the trees in a forest." - Fallows Diamond

"I think, in every bad situation, there's something to be learned. Don't let the people who hurt you become imbedded so deep into your skin that they become a part of you." - Quinn Greaves

"Sometimes life kicks ya down. Just dust yourself off, and roll your die again, based on pure statistic, one day, you'll get that twenty, and find everything you never knew you needed." - Quinn Greaves

"Sometimes the world is a prison and we're the convicts polluting her atmosphere in our darkness but other times the sun shines our beaten souls." - Issac Abernathy

"He may not give two fucks about the pain he's caused, but when I'm standing before him, a gun at his damn head, he'll hear me loud and fucking clear." - Brandon Killovitch

"No one guns a man down and calls it peace except for he who tells the soldier to pull the trigger." - Messiah Morrington

"Revenge is immoral. So call me unholy." - Leola Jenefine

“If your demons are silent, listen for your angels.” - Caramel Pettagrew

"I'm covered in the blood of everything I was, I'm dancing in the ashes of me, but I held the very match that lit the damn flame.” - Sostias Hoffman

“ If my footsteps lead me inta the dark, then let me light a candle ta guide the way, and if my candle snuffs may my feet lead the way, and find the light that waits at the end 'a the tunnel.” - Alonzo Graves

"Most days my demons are silent, but on the days they speak, they break the sound barrier and leave it difficult to find any peace and quiet.” - Veronica Villenwicker

"It is in my darkest hour, in the hottest flame, the coldest ice, I have found everything I thought I had lost.” - George Stinson

“ I've lost a helluva bloody lot in life, I lost my innocence when I was thirteen, my 'ome when I was sixteen, and my will ta fuckin' live at twenty god damn one.” - Saria Romiro

"If you've seen hell, in all it's unholy flame and damnation, tell me, what does the welcome sign to Evergreen's bay look like? It's rusted around the edges, it's been weathered down by time as all things. It's hell in all it's darkness.” - Remo Gonvable

“ I don't know how the world twisted and turned in such a dark direction, but if I can't find light in the day, I'll create my damn own.” - Sheila Gonvable

[pope-francis-quotes]

10th April >> (@ZenitEnglish) #PopeFrancis #Pope Francis Presides Over Celebration of Passion of the Lord. Full Text of Homily by Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, O.F.M. Cap

Pope Francis on Good Friday presided over the celebration of the Passion of the Lord in the Vatican Basilica.

The Preacher of the Pontifical House, Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, O.F.M. Cap., delivered the homily, which is provided in its entirety below, provided by the Vatican.

“I HAVE PLANS FOR YOUR WELFARE AND NOT FOR WOE”

St. Gregory the Great said that Scripture “grows with its readers”, cum legentibus crescit.[1] It reveals meanings always new according to the questions people have in their hearts as they read it. And this year we read the account of the Passion with a question—rather with a cry—in our hearts that is rising up over the whole earth. We need to seek the answer that the word of God gives it.

The Gospel reading we have just listened to is the account of the objectively greatest evil committed on earth. We can look at it from two different angles: either from the front or from the back, that is, either from its causes or from its effects. If we stop at the historical causes of Christ’s death, we get confused and everyone will be tempted to say, as Pilate did, “I am innocent of this man’s blood” (Mt 27:24). The cross is better understood by its effects than by its causes. And what were the effects of Christ’s death? Being justified through faith in him, being reconciled and at peace with God, and being filled with the hope of eternal life! (see Rom 53:1-5).

But there is one effect that the current situation can help us to grasp in particular. The cross of Christ has changed the meaning of pain and human suffering—of every kind of suffering, physical and moral. It is no longer punishment, a curse. It was redeemed at its root when the Son of God took it upon himself. What is the surest proof that the drink someone offers you is not poisoned? It is if that person drinks from the same cup before you do. This is what God has done: on the cross, he drank, in front of the whole world, the cup of pain down to its dregs. This is how he showed us it is not poisoned, but that there is a pearl at the bottom of it.

And not only the pain of those who have faith but of every human pain. He died for all human beings: “And when I am lifted up from the earth,” he said, “I will draw everyone to myself” (Jn 12:32).

Everyone, not just some! St. John Paul II wrote from his hospital bed after his attempted assassination, “To suffer means to become particularly susceptible, particularly open to the working of the salvific powers of God, offered to humanity in Christ.”[2] Thanks to the cross of Christ, suffering has also become in its own way a kind of “universal sacrament of salvation” for the human race.

* * *

What light does all of this shed on the dramatic situation that humanity is going through now? Here too we need to look at the effects more than at the causes—not just the negative ones we hear about every day in heart-wrenching reports but also the positive ones that only a more careful observation can help us grasp.

The pandemic of Coronavirus has abruptly roused us from the greatest danger individuals and humanity have always been susceptible to: the delusion of omnipotence. A Jewish rabbi has written that we have the opportunity to celebrate a very special paschal exodus this year, that “from the exile of consciousness” [3]. It took merely the smallest and most formless element of nature, a virus, to remind us that we are mortal, that military power and technology are not sufficient to save us. As a psalm in the Bible says, “In his prime, man does not understand. / He is like the beasts—they perish” (Ps 49:21). How true that is!

While he was painting frescoes in St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, the artist James Thornhill became so excited at a certain point about his fresco that he stepped back to see it better and was unaware he was about to fall over the edge of the scaffolding. A horrified assistant understood that crying out to him would have only hastened the disaster. Without thinking twice, he dipped a brush in paint and hurled it at the middle of the fresco. The master, appalled, sprang forward. His work was damaged, but he was saved.

God does this with us sometimes: he disrupts our projects and our calm to save us from the abyss we don’t see. But we need to be careful not to be deceived. God is not the one who hurled the brush at the sparkling fresco of our technological society. God is our ally, not the ally of the virus! He himself says in the Bible, “I have . . . plans for your welfare and not for woe” (Jer 29:11). If these scourges were punishments of God, it would not be explained why they strike equally good and bad, and why the poor usually bring the worst consequences of them. Are they more sinners than others?

No! The one who cried one day for Lazarus’ death cries today for the scourge that has fallen on humanity. Yes, God “suffers”, like every father and every mother. When we will find out this one day, we will be ashamed of all the accusations we made against him in life. God participates in our pain to overcome it. “Being supremely good – wrote St. Augustine – God would not allow any evil in his works, unless in his omnipotence and goodness, he is able to bring forth good out of evil.”[4]

Did God the Father possibly desire the death of his Son in order to draw good out of it? No, he simply permitted human freedom to take its course, making it serve, however, his own purposes and not those of human beings. This is also the case for natural disasters like earthquakes and plagues. He does not bring them about. He has given nature a kind of freedom as well, qualitatively different of course than that of human beings, but still a form of freedom—freedom to evolve according to its own laws of development. He did not create a world as a programmed clock whose least little movement could be anticipated. It is what some call “chance” but the Bible calls instead “the wisdom of God.”

* * *

The other positive fruit of the present health crisis is the feeling of solidarity. When, in the memory of humanity, have the people of all nations ever felt themselves so united, so equal, so less in conflict than at this moment of pain? Never so much as now have we experienced the truth of the words of one of our great poets: “Peace, you peoples! Too deep is the mystery of the prostrate earth.”[5] We have forgotten about building walls. The virus knows no borders. In an instant, it has broken down all the barriers and distinctions of race, nation, religion, wealth, and power. We should not revert to that prior time when this moment has passed. As the Holy Father has exhorted us, we should not waste this opportunity. Let us not allow so much pain, so many deaths, and so much heroic engagement on the part of health workers to have been in vain. Returning to the way things were is the “recession” we should fear the most.

They shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks;

One nation shall not raise the sword against another, nor shall they train for war again. (Is 2:4)

This is the moment to put into practice something of the prophecy of Isaiah whose fulfillment humanity has long been waiting for. Let us say “Enough!” to the tragic race toward arms. Say it with all your might, you young people, because it is above all your destiny that is at stake. Let us devote the unlimited resources committed to weapons to the goals that we now realize are most necessary and urgent: health, hygiene, food, the fight against poverty, stewardship of creation. Let us leave to the next generation a world poorer in goods and money, if need be, but richer in its humanity.

* * *

The word of God tells us the first thing we should do at times like these is to cry out to God. He himself is the one who puts on people’s lips the words to cry out to him, at times harsh words of lament and almost of accusation: “Awake! Why do you sleep, O Lord? / Rise up! Do not reject us forever! . . . Rise up, help us! / Redeem us in your mercy” (Ps 44, 24, 27). “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mk 4:38).

Does God perhaps like to be petitioned so that he can grant his benefits? Can our prayer perhaps make God change his plans? No, but there are things that God has decided to grant us as the fruit both of his grace and of our prayer, almost as though sharing with his creatures the credit for the benefit received.[6] God is the one who prompts us to do it: “Seek and you will find,” Jesus said; “knock and the door will be opened to you” (Mt 7:7).

When the Israelites were bitten by poisonous serpents in the desert, God commanded Moses to lift up a serpent of bronze on a pole, and whoever looked at it would not die. Jesus appropriated this symbol to himself when he told Nicodemus, “Just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the desert, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life” (Jn 3:14-15). We too at this moment have been bitten by an invisible, poisonous “serpent.” Let us gaze upon the one who was “lifted up” for us on the cross. Let us adore him on behalf of ourselves and of the whole human race. The one who looks on him with faith does not die. And if that person dies, it will be to enter eternal life.

“After three days I will rise”, Jesus had foretold (cf. Mt 9:31). We too, after these days that we hope will be short, shall rise and come out of the tombs of our homes. Not however to return to the former life like Lazarus, but to a new life, like Jesus. A more fraternal, more human, more Christian life!

[1] Moralia in Job, XX, 1.

[2] John Paul II, Salvifici doloris [On the Meaning of Human Suffering], n. 23.

[3] https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/coronavirus-a-spiritual-message-from-brooklyn (Yaakov Yitzhak Biderman).

[4] See St. Augustine, Enchiridion 11, 3; PL 40, 236.

[5] Giovanni Pascoli, “I due fanciulli” [“The Two Children”].

[6] See St. Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologicae, II-IIae, q. 83, a. 2.

10th APRIL 2020 19:27POPE & HOLY SEE

[hotheadhero]

Living on a Prayer || Caspar & Linhardt

@linhcrdt, CF war phase, transferred from here:

just his luck to be assigned night watch.  one would think that his narcoleptic streak would render linhardt’s credentials for such tasks null but, alas, everyone must play their part. it wasn’t as if the healer could sleep at night anyhow, the pleasantries of a perfect slumber cast itself away with whatever remains of peace fodlan had once known. 

they’re at a stalemate in the war. the professor is missing, and the fact that they’ve been able to stride with minimal casualties was nothing short of a miracle. in trying times, hope was nothing but a concept– and a fictional one if to be more precise. the war has waged on for years and, frankly, linhardt doesn’t see a glimpse of a conclusion near the horizon. everything is so grim and so bothersome– and yet, odd as it is, linhardt finds it worthwhile to be amongst the strike force than to be peacefully tucked at home, ignorant. 

war has its benefits and it’s reaped through his crest research. they may not have gained any monumental victory towards their cause yet, but at least linhardt’s managed to harvest some of his own. it’s the bursts of knowledge that keeps the healer stable despite it all, as selfish at it is. the magnificence of crests shine through turmoil, in instances where their power pushes an individual past human constraints. linhardt’s managed to delude himself– as long as his research benefits from the strife, he has no qualms being on the battlefield. 

but then, there’s caspar. that’s where it gets complicated.

in order to evade devastation before its dues, linhardt’s crafted a makeshift comfort within the grim realities of war. he’s evaluated and came to terms that, whilst all his classmates-turned-comrades happen to be alive now, there’s no logical proof that declares that even half of them would remain by the end of it– himself included. if dorothea were to perish, that would be unfortunate. had it been petra? it’d be pitiful, for she would have been exhausted upon foreign soils. ferdinand? to be expected. bernadetta would be a shame. hubert and her majesty? well, frankly, that was deserved. 

only speculation of caspar’s impending misfortune that caused linhardt’s stomach to twist, to cause for his blood to run cold. the effects of his hemophobia had lost its charm long ago, yet the mere thought of caspar battered, shattered, and very much lifeless never failed to spike nausea. even now, it gives him goosebumps. it makes his chest race, throat quivering— he hates it. he despises it because, logistically, caspar’s survival rate isn’t exactly high, either. the cursed fool jumps into battles just as impetuously as he did at sixteen, as if he still had something to prove to himself, as if the war was going to end if he’s just hit a certain body count and constantly gave it his all. how someone could see death in the eye and still be so half-witted despite it all– honestly, it pisses linhardt off.

(and, of course, it’s just his luck to be so smitten by the said moron. of anyone he could have pinned for, of course he’d have to fall for the one who seems so stupidly eager to die on the battlefield. the one who never gives a second thought to any battle he’s roused himself within, the one who is stupid enough to break his weapon and continue fighting bare fist and all.)

think of a demonic beast, it’ll rise to exist. a swat to his bun announces a certain person’s presence (– and when had he been face first against the dirt?), linhardt gives a groan and stirs himself up. bleary eyes wander until they catch a glimpse of boyish looks against diffused moonlight. he stares, calm despite the outburst, and contemplates whether or not to sink back to the ground. if only death could be half as peaceful, he thinks, words dipped in fine cynicism, an art that linhardt’s found that he’s mastered over the times. he dares not to speak it, however, as he’s come to notice the begrudged state his companion is in. it’s odd– caspar’s rarely been anything but an optimistic bundle of energy.

“you look terrible,” linhardt opts to quip instead, rising, before he takes a seat next to caspar. he leans forward, shifting his weight on caspar’s side, and an arm lazily drapes around the other’s waist as aegean searches for baby blues. “something wrong?”

He didn’t expect otherwise (didn’t want to expect it either), but still, he is gratified to see Linhardt shift into an upright position and scoot closer to him. Five years ago from anyone else, he might have scooted away from the arm the mage wraps around his waist; but they’ve been fighting this war for four years now, amid fire and screams and demonic roars. He’ll take any reminder he can get that his friends are still alive and well, do anything to ensure they stay that way… even give his life for theirs if need be to save them. Caspar is the second son of Bergliez: his brother Julian, not he, will inherit the title their father currently holds (still holds, despite his age, for Gilead von Bergliez is nigh impossible to defeat in battle). The only purpose left to him is battle, and he’s dedicated all his strength to ensuring Edelgard’s vision becomes reality. Death is not unexpected for the men of his house (indeed, it is far more unusual to have representatives from three consecutive generations still alive), and he’s long since come to terms with the idea that the last thing he sees may well be the head of an enemy pike, even as the seeming indomitability of his forebears lets him delude himself into thinking he’ll survive this just as they did before him. No, it’s the others’ deaths that concern him more… Linhardt’s in particular.

This war came upon them so suddenly (even as he knows the flames of it are largely of Edelgard’s making), swept them up in its ultimatum of join or die. He knows Linhardt would much rather not be a part of it at all—even up to their graduation, he still blanched at the sight of blood—but it’s far too late for any of them to back out now. The mage has, predictably, taken up positions at the rear while he, predictably, threw himself right into the face of it all—but none of them had expected enemy reinforcements from behind until the screams fell upon them from within the infernal brush. Caspar had been part of the van, too far away to support the rear. The knot that lodged in his gut when the fighting broke out, when Linhardt’s scream of all people’s pierced the din— It was like a lightning bolt through the chest. The thought that he might not make it in time to save his friend was cause for him to move faster, even as his cramping limbs screamed at him no more. Thankfully Linhardt had escaped permanent injury resulting from the ambush (thank the goddess), but it was a harsh reminder that any one of them could die at any moment; and however much Caspar thinks he’s accepted that possible fate as his own, accepting it in others is far from easy. The mere thought of Linhardt dying near tears him in half. For fifteen years, they’ve never strayed far from each other. When they fight together, it is with the fluidity of two souls made one. Could he go on, should the other fall? Caspar isn’t sure… yet those demons still plague him even as he tries to sleep. Even worse, it’s Linhardt’s turn at night watch, and he’s out there alone. Anything could happen, and he’d never know about it. And so with a frustrated noise, he threw back his blankets and stood upright, strapped on his armor as he headed out. One could never be too careful in these dangerous times.

(The sight of Linhardt sprawled flat on the ground when he reached the outpost sent a second shock of terror through him. It hewed far too close to the repetitious image in his nightmares that drove him out of bed tonight.)

But all that is behind him now. Linhardt responded to the swipe to his hair-bun; he is here, awake, and more importantly alive. The weight of the mage’s body on his, the rise and fall of his shoulders beneath Caspar’s easy grip, the hand around his waist as if by inviting himself here, he’s become the biggest pillow in Linhardt’s collection (never mind that his heavy pauldrons can’t possibly make for a comfortable headrest)—only the familiarity of it all can still his breathing into something normal… though it would seem that not all signs of his distress could escape his friend’s watchful eye.

“You look terrible,” he observes, oceanic eyes searching his. “Something wrong?”

Caspar doesn’t answer for a moment. He can’t bring himself to answer, even though (or perhaps because) the one asking is the reason for his disquiet. To talk about it, he fears, is to invite its occurrence in reality, and Caspar would give anything to ensure that this particular event does not come to pass. Still… he has never been one to hide or lie. That he is debating doing it right now is writ as obviously on his face as his mind. Perhaps Linhardt did not even need the firelight to see it. Yet even so—!

“I couldn’t sleep,” is all he can bring himself to say. “I was just thinking…” He trails off reluctantly, then with an effort continues. “That last battle was pretty rough. Not even Hubert expected we’d be assaulted from behind. … We all got out okay this time, but it’s only going to get tougher from here on out, isn’t it.” He knows the answer already: It’s not even a question of if anymore; rather, it’s when. The young man shoots a sidelong glance towards the mage, and the knot in his stomach twists tighter. Nope. Still can’t say it.

“I wish the professor were here!” he bursts out instead. “He always knew how best to solve our problems back in the academy. Surely he’d know how to put a stop to all this without so much death and fighting! I wish—!”

His hand on Linhardt’s shoulder tightens with words left unsaid. I wish you didn’t have to be here to protect me. That should be my job, not yours.