#and was told that it’s an important job
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
do your job right pairing: assistant!reader x ceo!rafe synopsis: assistant!reader forgets to mail important documents; the diligent mr. cameron makes sure it doesn't happen again. warnings: smut, spanking, degradation, praise MDNI - wc: 1.1k this is the first day of my birthday-week fics! honestly i had a blast working on all of these and i hope people enjoy them. ᯓᡣ𐭩
rafe had always been a hardworking man, especially when it came to his business, and he couldn't stand it when his employees didn't do their jobs right. people say that you can either choose to be feared, or respected, and rafe cameron was the kind of man who'd rather be feared.
so, the fact that he refused to fire the ditzy, airheaded girl who'd been hired as his assistant was nothing short of a miracle in the eyes of his other employees. what they didn't know, they couldn't ruin.
you were shaking as you walked towards his office, wobbly on your kitten heels, the tone that rafe used with you still fresh in your mind.
"come into my fucking office. right now." he had barked into your phone, before shutting the call. you chewed on your lower lip, not knowing what you had done this time for him to be cross with you. still, you lifted your hand, softly knocking on the door with the golden nameplate reading 'r. cameron'.
"come in."
you took a deep breath before pulling the door open, revealing your boss leaning against his desk, the sleeves of his button-up rolled up to his elbows, crossed in front of his chest, a harsh look on his face, his eyes as cold as ice.
"lock the door."
hesitantly, you did as you were told, chewing on your lower lip, looking at him through your eyelashes. "w-what did i do this time?" you asked with a shaky voice.
rafe let out a small chuckle, entirely devoid of any positive emotion before clearing his throat, picking up a small stack of papers off his desk, and when you realized what they were, you felt all the blood drain from your face. "look familiar, hm?"
"mr. cameron, i'm sorry, i swear i was going to-"
"but you didn't." rafe interrupted you, tutting as he shook his head, one of his hands going to scratch his chin in thought, "you know, i'm starting to think you keep doing this on purpose. that you like it when i get mad at you, when i punish you. 'cause i don't know how someone could be so... dumb to keep making these mistakes."
"i'm sorry, i'll send it over right now, please-"
"no. that's not how this works." he pushed himself away from his desk, slowly striding over to you. looking at you up and down, rafe lifted your head up from your chin, making you look up at him. "you know the drill. desk. bend over."
"mr. cam-"
"now."
the air of finality in his voice caused a shiver to run down your spine as your wobbly legs took you to his desk, and you hesitantly bent yourself over his desk, the desk cold against your arms.
"you know what to do." rafe said, his hand resting over your ass that felt bare under his touch even with the fabric of your pencil skirt that was separating your skin from his, a rush of heat in your lower stomach. "count for me."
slowly, he pushed up the fabric of your skirt, revealing your bare ass, rafe letting out a small chuckle, "i see you decided not to wear panties, like i've asked. looks like my dumb little secretary can actually listen. you know what they say about broken clocks."
he grabbed at the flesh of your ass, massaging it slightly as he tutted, "five. you ready?"
"y-yes..." you mumbled weakly, squeezing your eyes shut and biting down on you're lower lip, preparing yourself for the impact.
a loud smacking sound echoed around his office before you could even register the sting on your ass, a small squeal unwillingly escaping your lips as your body was jolted forward by the impact.
"o-one." you counted, rafe's palm massaging at the buttock he had just slapped, before slowly pulling it away.
"you know, if you weren't such a dumb, forgetful slut, i wouldn't have to be doing this."
before you could even process what he had said, his rafe's palm landed another slap on your ass, your body jolting forward once again. this time, he didn't even take the time to massage your buttock before he pulled his hand away, delivering another slap to your ass almost immediately, one that made you let out a noise that was something between a moan and a squeal even though you were biting down on your lower lip so harshly you could taste blood.
"count."
you took in a deep breath as he massaged your ass, trying to stabilize yourself, your breathing erratic, feeling your heartbeat in your throat. "t-two, and, uh... three."
"i'm surprised," rafe cooed mockingly, "that a dumb little thing like you can even do simple maths."
rafe pulled his hand away, and you intertwined your own fingers together as a way to calm yourself down, your eyes stinging with tears threatening to fall, and once you felt his palm hitting your ass once again, a tear rolled down your cheek, your entire face feeling warm as you managed to pitifully let out the word "four." and although you were hurting, you also couldn't deny the arousal starting to gather between your legs.
"i mean, you'd think that you'd understand how important my work is. you could lose me thousands for forgetting to mail those papers." he tutted, pulling his hand away, "so, what are you gonna do from now on?"
"i-i'm gonna remember it, mr. cameron, i promise."
"that's my girl." rafe said, and once again, you felt his palm connect with your ass, a small yelp leaving your lips.
"five..." you babbled almost incoherently, a panting mess, certain that by now your asscheeks were red in the shape of rafe's large hands, a sigh of relief leaving your lips when you realized that your punishment was over, a small hiss escaping your lips when the pained skin of your ass was met with the biting air of rafe's office.
"you did so well..." rafe said quietly, softly massaging your asscheeks before slowly sliding your skirt back down, smoothing it out. he helped you stand up, his bulge obvious in his trousers as he turned you around to face him, cupping your chin to once again lift your head up to look at him, "go home for the rest of the day, okay? take a warm bath and rest, hm?"
you nodded your head, looking up at him with your vision blurred by tears, rafe wiping the blood off your lower lip, "you did really well. i'm proud of you." he said, bringing his lips down to meet yours in a gentle kiss, his hand cupping your cheek so affectionately it was hard for you to tell if the man holding onto you was really the same man that had just punished you.
when he pulled away, rafe looked down at you with a sweet smile, "i'll come by later, alright?"
"alright." you nodded with a similar smile, leaning into his touch. when rafe pulled away from you, you smoothed down your skirt, slowly making your way to his office door.
maybe he knew, or maybe he didn't, but you'd never tell him that your little accident was anything but that. that they never were accidents.
#🎂 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝟐𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧#rafe cameron#outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#drew starkey#outer banks fanfiction#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe smut#rafe x you#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx#outer banks fic#outer banks smut#fanfiction writer#rafe cameron thoughts
260 notes
·
View notes
Text
*𝙄𝙫𝙚 𝙂𝙤𝙩 𝙔𝙤𝙪*
Pairing: Changbin x Reader (Fem)
Genre: Angst (Happy ending of course)
Warnings: Abusive father! Violence, Blood, Alcohol, Sick mother, Lots of cursing. Father is a real piece of shit and puts hands on reader multiple times. Sorry for any mistakes or missing tags.
Just for another warning because I think it’s important. This has content that could trigger some people. Please please read the warnings. If any of them make you uncomfortable please don’t read. Also a reminder. You’re not alone. No one ever should be laying their hands on you. I love you. You’re loved. You don’t ever deserve anything like this.
Find The Request Here
-🖤
Changbin wrapped his arms around you pulling you close to him. He kissed your neck tenderly nuzzling himself into your neck. You both were snuggled up on the couch watching a show. “My angel” he said softly before softly kissing your neck once more. When you were with him it felt like nothing else mattered like the world was alright. Your moment of happiness was short lived though seeing your phone buzzing. It was your father. Just seeing his name flash on your phone made you anxious.
After your mother had passed away your dad became an even bigger monster. He was always a good for nothing, But now not working as much as he did he stayed home drinking. Your mother had told you before the only reason she had stayed with him was because she didn’t have anywhere else to go. Her family was from another country, she didn’t have much money or friends. She was such a brave woman though. You don’t know how she dealt with him so long but I guess him never really being home helped. He had gotten fired from his big job because of his drinking and anger problems. Going to work one day hungover and punching a coworker so hard it broke his nose. He had to pay a hefty fine for that. Now he has a slow job where he only works a few days.
One of your earliest memories of him being his asshole self was him telling you how he hated that you were a girl. He hated that in his words ‘that useless bitch couldn’t even give me a boy.’ He wanted a son so badly and he made sure you knew that. He never really bonded with you however he’d be damned if you didn’t respect his authority. The first time he ever laid hands on you, you were 9. You accidentally knocked over a table braking the lamp that was placed on it. He grabbed you by the wrist smacking you across the face. ‘You stupid fucking brat! Look what you did, you’re just like your fucking mother!’ He spat pushing you away from him.
After that day it just kept going. Having to wear long sleeves at school to hide the bruises. At one point you had to stay home for almost a week. You had stepped in front of him to protect your mom when he hit you square in the face busting your lip. It stayed swollen and bruised for a while. Tooth slightly cracked from the incident.
You wanted so badly to tell someone. Confide in a teacher anything. You were scared to though. Scared they’d blame your mom, put her in jail and take you away. So you endured it. As your mom started to get sick he turned more of his attacks on you. Although a complete peace of shit he wasn’t stupid. He knew if he did anything to her the doctors would see it.
After she had passed you kept yourself from the house as best as you could. Not going home as much as you possibly could. You got a job at a cafe down the road and that’s how you met changbin. He was a regular who once you started talking admitted to only coming so much to see you.
You kept your home life a secret to him as much as you could but one day you were getting intimate you forgot about the bruises. When he had lifted your shirt his smile dropped. He looked at you with wide eyes “what the fuck? Who did this to you?” He said clenching his jaw. All you could do was sob he held you in his arms rubbing your back. “I’m sorry for raising my voice I just- y/n please- what happened?” He asked.
Through your sobs you told him, you unloaded everything in a word vomit of sadness. He would and wanted to go find your father. To beat him senseless, to show him how it feels but he knew you needed him more. He held you so tightly, feeling his own heart breaking from your words. Knowing a family member could do this to someone they were supposed to protect. To love and cherish just broke him. He was such a family oriented person and now he realized why you never wanted him to meet him. Never talked about him. He asked why you couldn’t just leave explaining to him how your mother wasn’t from here, how you had no family and no one else to rely on.
“Shit- it’s my dad” you said frantically picking the phone up.
“Where the fuck are you? He spat.
“I’m- I’m just at a friend’s house” you stuttered.
He laughed “sure, you’re probably slutting around. Get your fucking ass home.”
He hung up leaving you shaking. “I gotta go.” You said picking your keys up.
“Y/n you don’t have to” Changbin said with pleading eyes.
“I’m sorry.” You said before heading to the door.
Your brain wondered what was going on. Why he needed you home. As you pulled up coming through the door you saw him slumped in his usual chair. “About fucking time” he hissed. “Do something useful and go get me some more beer” he demanded.
You stood there almost dumb founded. Before he hissed again “don’t make me say it again!”
You nodded heading down to the store and getting it for him. When you got home again you sat the beer beside him. He gave you a smirk “glad you know how to listen” he chuckled. Your nose twitched at his smell, you hated being close to him. The smell of alcohol, cigarettes and B.O. always radiated off of him. He motioned for you to leave and you did slinking back to your room to text changbin.
Him: Y/n! Text me back! I’m worried!
You: I’m fine. He just wanted beer
Him: I swear I’ll end him one of these days
You: I’m gonna go to bed ok? I’ll see you in the morning! Love you!
Him: Love you to beautiful. Text me when you wake up🖤
You fell asleep shortly after always finding peace in sleep. The next few days were the same old. Going to Changbins after work going home late when you knew he’d be passed out. Today though. You had to run home for your wallet. When you walked through the door your dad was in the kitchen. You took one look around and realized something had to have happened. Things were thrown around. Smashed. Your body froze before you could go to walk back out he saw you.
“Where do you think you’re fucking going!” He yelled. He made a bee line toward you.
“I’m- I’m picking up another shift at work I just came home to grab something.” You lied.
“Bull fucking shit!” He spat.
He grabbed you by your throat lifting you up against the wall. His eyes were dark, knuckles bloody from punching the wall. “I get fucking fired from my god damn job only to come home to see you running back out? For what huh? To go fucking whore around some more?” He said. “No! There’s gonna be some fucking changes!” He screamed.
He dropped you to the floor before grabbing you by your wrist dragging you to the kitchen. “You’re gonna get another fucking job, you’re gonna start paying the other bills!” He spat. “You got it!”
When you didn’t answer right away he slapped more like punched you across the face. “Answer me bitch!” He said gritting his teeth. All you could do was nod scared for your life. You felt a warmth running down, your nose was bleeding.
“You’re fucking pathetic you know that, just like your fucking mother! That bitch. That bitch fucking deserved what she got! I’m glad she’s fucking dead!” He spat. Something had come over you at that point. You shoved back making him stumble backwards. You made a dash to the door luckily in his drunken stupor he stumbled getting back up. You ran. Not even bothering getting in your car afraid it take to long.
So you ran. You ran as fast as you could until you couldn’t anymore. You hid yourself in the bushes at the park panting. Trying to catch your breath as you fumbled to call changbin. “Hey angel” he said happily but when he heard you breathing heavy his heart sank. “Y/n what’s wrong? Are you ok?” He asked.
“I’m- I’m at the- park down- down the road- please” you stuttered out.
“Stay there I’m just down the road!” He said before grabbing his keys speeding to you.
He gripped the steering wheel afraid for what had happened. “Angel? I’m here!” He yelled out.
You peaked your head out, when he got a good look at you anger filled his body. ‘That mother fucker’ he snarled. There was no time to be angry right now though. You needed him. So desperately needed him.
He sat beside you pulling you into his arms. He took his jacket placing it around you as he whipped away the blood from your nose. He noticed the handprint mark around your neck, he gritted his teeth seething. You sobbed, holding onto him for dear life. He rubbed your back “ssh sh it’s ok angel, I’m here, I got you.” He said.
He rocked you back and forth letting your sobs subside before asking you anything. “Does it hurt?” He asked lifting your face to him looking over your nose and neck. You nodded. It hurt to swallow, hurt to breathe, everything just hurt. “Can I take you to the hospital?” He asked. You were hesitant but you nodded.
The car ride there all he could do was watch over you. Scared something could seriously be wrong. Cursing at himself for not being there. He was in the process of finding a new place. A new place so you could move in with him. The only reason you didn’t live with him now was for the fact he had other roommates and if the tenant found out about you they all could be evicted. He was gonna surprise you today with the good news, that he found a place. Close to his work and close to a bakery you had wanted to work at.
When he had gotten to the hospital they all looked at him like he had done it. They checked you over asked him a million questions. The cops being called from below to ask him questions. They weren’t completely shocked when they heard your dad’s name. He was notorious for his anger outbursts and violence. He had a list of charges that had gotten one being the man he punched at his old job. They wrote everything down, took pictures of your bruises and wounds. Asking you lots of questions before leaving.
“Y/n did you know you had a broken rib at one point?” A nurse asking you.
You shook your head.
“Looks like it happened a while ago, it fused back but not properly. You ever have sharp pains?” She asked.
“Yeah, she use to complain about side pains but they kinda just stopped.” Changbin chimed in.
“How is she right now?” Changbin asked.
“Nothings broken however you’re lucky, the pressure he had around your throat bruised your vocal cords. Any harder you could be looking at serious damage”
The nurse had left to grab some papers changbin took your hand into his. He kissed your cheek softly rubbing his thumb over yours. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there” he said softly.
You shook your head “I don’t want him hurting you either” you said looking up at him.
“I’m proud of you though, pushing back and getting yourself out of there. Your mom would be proud” he said with a small smile. His words made you smile a bit. “She definitely would.”
“I had some news to tell you” he said hoping this would make you smile.
“Yeah?” You asked.
“Yeah. I’m moving. Well we’re moving” he said with a smile. When you looked at him a bit confused his smile grew “I got a place for the two of us. Wish it could have happened sooner but-“ he said.
You wrapped your arms around him hugging him tightly “we’re gonna live together? I’ll get to spend all the time with you?” You said eagerly.
“Yep! Got the keys today!”
When the door opened you thought it was the nurse however it was an officer. “Y/n we have your father in custody. Do you have a place to stay for the mean time?” He asked looking over at your boyfriend.
“I do, but can I go back and get something’s you asked.
The officer nodded “I’ll have to escort you because it’s a crime scene now.”
You nodded.
“Whenever you get discharged we can go alright?” He said before walking out.
After you went to the house grabbing your clothes, laptop and a few things you smiled saying good riddance to this place. You had the few things from your mom packed, having nothing more in this house for you.
Moving in with changbin was something to get use to. However he helped you every step of the way. You got into much needed therapy and after your father’s sentence you felt like things were going up. As a little house warming gift Changbin had surprised you with a cat. You had bonded with him with the many times he had taken you to the cat cafe. You always said how much you wanted him and now you had him. You had your little family now.
Changbin showered you in love as usual, never missing a chance to compliment you, praise you and tell you how much he loved you. You knew in your heart your mom wherever she was, she was happy. Happy seeing her little girl finally get out of the situation. To live her life to the fullest.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵
Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp
#stray kids#skz#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#changbin#changbin angst#changbin drabbles#changbin x reader#changbin fanfic#stray kids angst#stray kids drabble#stray kids x reader#stray kids fanfic#stray kids comfort#changbin comfort#bangchan#han jisung#hyunjin#jeongin#seungmin#Lee know#Lee Felix#kpop angst#kpop drabble
93 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Lesson in Heartbreak
2 of 3: Words are Painful Weapons
Rating: T | Word Count: 3983 | Pairing: Azris/Reader
Summary: Eris and Azriel made promises they didn’t keep. When you confront them about it, Eris says some things he instantly regrets. Now him and Azriel have to fix what they broke.
Neapolitan Bonds Masterlist| Read on A03| Part 1| Read Below
Warnings: Angst, Eris has a sharp tongue, alcohol, drunk!Eris
A/N: HI so… yeah… I am alive. Sorry this took so long. A second shout out to @daycourtofficial for inspiration with Azriel and his comments when he comes back.
Tagging: @myromanempiree @pit-and-the-pen @lilah-asteria @thisblogisaboutabook @hieragalbatorixdottir @mybestfriendmademe @paleidiot @div94 (if you are tagged by accident or want to be tagged in the future, let me know)
“There. A letter to Tarquin and a letter to her.” Eris sent them with a flick of his wrist.
Azriel calmed enough to sit while Eris penned the letters. They needed you to come home so they could talk with you in person. Deep down, Eris was thoroughly embarrassed over the whole situation. Not only at himself but for you leaving to another court. He wondered if this was how Tamlin felt all those years ago, when Feyre ran off to the Night Court. Eris suddenly had empathy for him in retrospect.
He slumped back in his chair and sighed. He needed a stiff drink. But he wanted to be sober if you came home. Azriel sat across from him, arms crossed against his chest and brows furrowed like he did when he was deep in thought. His eyes were still rimmed in red from earlier. The Shadows were nowhere in sight.
“What?” Eris looked at his mate.
Az cut his eyes to Eris, still frowning. “I want you to tell me exactly what you said to her.”
“I’m surprised your shadows didn’t already tell you.” Eris didn’t hold back his eye roll or his sigh. “I don’t fully remember.”
Everything was a blur from earlier. When he got like that, he never remembered what he said.
“Well think fucking harder.” Eris could see Azriel’s fingers dig into his sleeves.
“She came in screaming at me about missing dinner.” It reminded him too much of his mother. The way she would yell at his father when he was a youngling. Eris tried to focus, to put that aside. “I told her the high lord meeting was more important. We were hosting, and.”
After a moment Az said, “And what, Eris”
He cursed under his breath. “I said she would understand that if she had bothered to help. Since she isn’t helping, she doesn't get to complain that we are busy. She knew what she was getting into when we mated.”
Azriel recoiled where he sat. “How could you say that to her?”
“It’s the truth, Azriel.” Eris brushed back his hair with his hand. “This is what it’s like to be mated to a High Lord. We have responsibilities. Yes, I was wrong for implying she didn’t want to help because she asked and I told her she didn’t have to. I admit that.”
Shadows came out as Az replied. “And we made promises we didn’t keep.”
“I know I did. It eats me alive that I broke them but what else am I supposed to do? It’s our first time hosting, I’ve only been High Lord for a decade and a half. She’s worked for multiple courts. She knows these things have to be perfect or others will talk.”
“That doesn’t mean we can’t take a break to have dinner with her.” Az countered.
Eris glared at him. “Do not act like you are any better. You weren’t there either.”
He winced. “You’re right. I wasn’t.” Then he glared back. “But maybe I would have been there if you let other people do their job instead of making it our problem.”
“Oh you’re going to blame me?” Eris was on his feet. “By the gods. I’m always your scapegoat because it’s easy to blame me than for you to look in a fucking mirror.”
“Eris.” A warning, as shadows built around him.
“Am I wrong?” Azriel didn’t answer. Eris and his sharp tongue kept going. “You blamed me for centuries when it came to Mor. To this court. To my father. Let’s just add this to it.” He paused. Before he could stop himself he added. “It wouldn’t even be a fucking issue if it was just us.”
Eris felt the shock through the bond from Az before he shut him out. Even the shadows recoiled from around Az.
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t have to repeat myself. We work well together,” he gestured between them, “because we know what to expect from each other. She wants so much more than either of us are capable of.”
Shadows shrunk back again. “That’s not true.”
“It is!” Then words spewed from his mouth like viper venom. “I wish Elain never told us. I wish I never let you get your fucking hopes up, looking for a third bond in every fucking fae you brought to our bed. But I love you, so I let you do it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Azriel was on his own feet, siphons on his hands flashing. “I always got your consent, you said it was fine. You brought your own-”
Eris’s mouth ran away from him again. He didn’t raise his voice; his tone did the work for him.
“Maybe I lied. I only took other lovers so you wouldn’t feel guilty. I was just trying to make you happy because I was never enough for you. Even the Mother herself knew. She knew I wasn’t enough for you so she sent us her.”
Az looked like he’d been struck. Guilt and insecurity Eris had buried for decades laid out on full display. At that moment Eris hoped Azriel hurt just as much as he did. The silence between them was heavy and loud. It was finally Azriel who spoke, his own words sharp and stinging.
“I never asked to be mated to you. You say this is easier for me and you, but it’s only easy for you. What’s easy is loving her. It’s not my fault you’re too fucked up to know that too.”
Shadows grew thick around him and he winnowed out of the room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
You showered and changed into a soft seafoam colored nightgown, given to you by Samira. She was sitting by a small side table reading when you came back into the bedroom. She set her book down and got up from her seat.
“Did you tell him, Tarquin?” You asked.
In your haste to get away, you didn’t think about the implications of your actions. Namely as High Lord’s mate seeking refuge in another court. You liked Tarquin a lot. He was kind and you were so happy when Samira and him hit it off. But he was still a High Lord of another court. Samira didn’t look you in the eyes from where she had sat on the edge of the bed.
“I only told him what you told me.”
“That’s fine,” you said quickly. You got onto the bed and crawled up beside her. “I understand. If you hadn’t told him, I would have.”
“That said,” she put her hand over yours. “You’re here as my guest. Any correspondence will come directly to me unless there is a threat to the court.”
You winced and she gave you a sympathetic look. Your mates were both known for their tempers. Azriel was well known for his impulsive behavior. You prayed to the Mother that neither of them acted irrationally. A hard thing to hope knowing you sealed this room the moment you entered.
“Did you want some tea or do you want to rest for the night?”
“Tea. I need to talk if you’re willing to listen.”
“Always,” she smiled.
You grabbed a light robe and moved into the small sitting room. She waited as Samira had tea brought to the room. She fixed you a cup, and then she sat down and took her own in her hands.
“So what happened?”
You let out a heavy sigh, trying to figure out where to start.
You explained the best you could. How they both made a promise to go to dinner and neither showed. You explained how distant they’d been for months. You explained how Eris told you that dinner wasn’t as important as whatever he was working on with the upcoming summit.
“He said I knew what I was getting into when we mated. As if I’m not managing his court while his nose is stuck in itinerary lists.” You added bitterly.
She winced. “And Azriel? What did he say about all this?”
“He said he was sorry. He lost track of time. Conveniently he was silent when I asked why his shadows didn’t remind him.” You stared down at the tea in your hand. You could feel your eyes water again. “He hasn’t- he has always been more physically affectionate than Eris. Out in public, at least. But he hasn’t even-“
You stopped yourself, your face burning. Samira didn’t need to know how Az hadn’t even called you by a specific pet name in weeks. Eris even longer. And how was you supposed to explain they even stopped just casually touching you? It was childish, to be upset about something so silly. Yet thinking about it just made you cry again.
You wiped your eyes. “It just feels as if they don’t want me anymore.”
“They're your mates, of course they want you.”
“Mates doesn’t always mean love, Samira. They did just fine without me for what? Two decades? Maybe longer. Maybe they miss it just being the two of them.”
“Now you’re talking nonsense. Stop it,” she gave you a pointed look.
“What if it’s the truth?” You were so sick of crying. You sniffled and wiped your eyes. “They know each other so well. What do they need me for?”
They didn’t.
That was your whole issue. They didn’t need you. Eris and Az could practically communicate without words. They moved around each other seamlessly. Eris knew exactly how Az liked his tea. Az knew to move papers closer to the inside of the desk when Eris was on a rant, his hands moving about as he talked. Eris knew when to make the spare room without even asking Azriel if he needed it. You tried to watch, to listen. Five years and you still weren’t in tune with them.
Samira shuffled in her seat, drawing your attention back to her.
“Eris wrote a letter to Tarquin. I got it while you were bathing. It wasn’t much, just him requesting to know if you were here and if so, that you get this.” She held up an envelope with his seal on it. “I wrote back that I would handle communication and you’d be staying the night.”
She laid the letter on the table in front of you. Your chest ached, begging you to open it immediately. You shoved it down.
Samira added, “I informed him that if you want to stay longer, I can’t make you leave. Tarquin has already agreed to allow you to stay as long as you need.”
“Thank you,” you whispered and stared back down at your tea again.
“Sleep on it. You can have breakfast with us and decide what you want to do in the morning.”
You nodded. Sleep sounded nice now that the adrenaline of the evening had crashed. You drained the rest of your tea and bid Samira good night. You left the letter on the table. You’d read it in the morning.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eris poured himself the stiffest drink he’d had in decades. The shame and embarrassment of everything was still burning in his chest. He downed his drink in one swing and poured another. Both his mates were gone. He walked over to his desk where the correspondence with summer sat. Your friend had written back instead of Tarquin. He downed his second drink.
To make things less complicated, I will be handling correspondence until this is resolved. Unless there is a threat to the court, I will not involve the high lord. I promise I will give her your letter in the morning. She was distraught when she arrived and I’ve just gotten her calmed. She’s currently bathing and I will get her some tea to help her sleep.
There was a break in the letter and she added.
She has yet to tell me what happened fully, but as her friend I am warning you both that you two better make this right. I will try to convince her to return in the morning, but she is a grown female. If she requests to stay, Tarquin has already told me she may.
Eris tossed the letter back onto the desk. He doubted once you found out Az left too that you’d come home. It’s what he deserved.
He was a fool to think he could do this- have two mates. To think he could be any better than his father. Three years mated to you and he still couldn’t control himself. Couldn’t toe the line between work and leisure. Fifteen mated to Az and he still spewed venom in his direction the moment he was cornered. And Eris finally got a taste of his own medicine when Azriel spewed it right back.
With a heavy sigh, Eris pulled out more parchment and ink. There would not be a high lord summit- not with all of this happening. He’d draft the letters and send them in the morning. If he could sleep at all, with no one sharing his bed. He went and made a third drink. He opened his bonds and see if you or Az would respond.
Still shut out. The urge to down that third drink was strong. He needed to be sober in the morning even if he didn’t want to be.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Azriel flew until his emotions settled. Eris’s foul words rung in his ears still. ‘I wish Elain never told us’ he’d said. ‘Even the mother herself knew I wasn’t enough for you so she sent her.’
His eyes watered and it wasn’t from the wind in them. There was an ache in his chest- both bonds were shut out. He and Eris fought plenty, before and after they reconciled and the bond snapped. Somehow this was still the worst. He ignored his own words that spewed like venom in response to what Eris had said.
Azriel was angry and hurt. He left- if he stayed any longer the whole Forest House may have been burned to the ground. He circled the border between Autumn and Winter. He couldn't go back, not tonight. He landed in a clearing, stretching out his wings before tucking them back in. He didn’t want to go to Valeris. He had one other option. His shadows seemed to agree, as they circled him and he winnowed.
He landed outside the wards of Rosehall. The fae lights shown through the window.
She is awake. a shadow whispered.
He thought about turning back. He didn’t want to disturb his mother, to bother her with his problems. Yet his feet carried him forward, the wards rippling around him. He tucked his wings in tight and walked to the door. He didn‘t have to knock; the wards were designed to let only few in and to notify her when someone arrived. He could hear the rush of footsteps inside and braced himself as the door opened.
“Azriel?” His mother answered the door, a navy shawl you made for her wrapped tight around her shoulders, sides shaped to accommodate her wings. “What has happened?”
”I had a fight with my mates.” He said quickly. “They’re fine; I just- I couldn’t stay.”
His mother brushed back loose hair to tuck it behind her ear. He realized her hair was half braided. She nodded, and stepped aside to let him in.
“I’m sorry, I can go.”
”Nonsense, come in. I just made tea.”
His shadows swirled past him, one or two weaving around his mother. They always loved her; probably more than him if he was honest. He stepped through the frame and looked around. He had visited two weeks ago and already things had changed. His heart skipped, looking into the sitting room. Feyre had taken to decorating his mother’s house with portraits and paintings. The one above the fireplace was of him and his mother. It was a new one on the wall to the left that wasn’t there two weeks ago that made him stop in his tracks. It was of his mother, himself, you, and Eris. From your mating ceremony, based on the clothing and how close together you all were.
“The High Lady spoils me,” his mother said from his right. “Says my house is too empty. You should see the garden painting she had mounted in the hall a few days ago. Come.”
He felt her hand grab his own. He could only grip back loosely. He didn’t realize how cold his fingers had gotten from flying. If she noticed, she didn’t say. She led him to the kitchen where a kettle sat on the stove. He sat at the small table and watched almost numbly while she gathered cups and poured the tea.
“Zemër, tell me what happened.”
Az looked down at the cup as she sat it in front of him. He wrapped his hands around it, letting the warmth ease the stiffness in his hands. If he was home, Eris would do it for him. He pushed that thought away. He took a few sips, relishing in how the warmth flowed through his chest. His mother waited patiently across from him, braiding the rest of her hair for bed.
“I said some things I shouldn’t have.” His shadows nudged him on the shoulder. “I made a promise and didn’t keep it.” She hummed and tied off her hair. His voice cracked a little when he added. “I don’t know if I can fix it.”
There was a beat of silence and his mother took a sip of her tea. “Why do you think such a thing?”
“Because she left!” He snapped. His mother flinched and shadows hissed at him for raising his voice. “I’m sorry. She left and he- we’ve been so busy and she asked for one dinner and neither of us went. Then she left. And Eris said things. So I said things back.”
He hated that hot tears fell down his cheeks. And that his mother was looking at him with pity. She reached over and took his hand, holding it tightly in her own.
“Words are painful weapons and you are the best warrior in all prythian.” That made Azriel snort and she smiled softly. “This is a fight. Not a war. You haven’t lost yet. They are your mates. You love them. If you haven’t given up your love for them, what makes you think they have so easily given up their love for you?”
She had him there. He gave her hand a squeeze, a gesture of thanks. Then a shadow swirled up his arm quickly.
We must go. He furrowed his brows. He walks to our balcony. We must stop him. We must go. Go.
“Shit.” Azriel winced at himself. He hated cursing in front of his mother. “Mama, I have to go. Thank you. For the tea.”
She watched him stand, not letting go of his hand. “Be careful, my love.”
Despite the tugging of the shadows he gave his mother a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll see you in two weeks. I promise.”
She nodded and he winnowed away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At some point, Eris wasn’t sure when; he grabbed the whole bottle instead of pouring himself a glass. He couldn’t sleep. Not alone, with his thoughts and past memories hovering around the edges of the bed. They we’re waiting in the dark to grip him when he was most vulnerable. So instead he drank. Drank to numb the emptiness like he used to in the days before.
One minute he was in his chambers and the next he was stumbling up stairs. There were several balconies in the forest house but there was only one nearest to the roof. He built it for Azriel. It had no railings, just a place for him to take off when he went flying. Az swore he didn’t need it; but he still used it. In Eris’s mind, Az would use the balcony when he came back home.
Because he had to come home. You both had to come home. Eris didn’t think he could bear it if you didn’t. It took him a moment when he reached the door to focus enough to grab the handle. Gods, he hadn’t been this drunk since his youth. Pushing into the room, it was bare- save the single old couch, rug, and unlit fireplace. His gaze fixated on the double glass doors that led to the balcony. If he could just get out there, he could wait.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Eris nearly fell over, balance upended by Az’s voice behind him. He grabbed Eris by his shirt to pull him steady. Shadows that had been absent swirled in his vision, grazing his hair and neck as if checking him over. It took a moment for the world to stop spinning and his focus fixated on the male before him.
“You came back,” Eris whispered.
“Of course I did.” Azriel’s nose crinkled at Eris’ breath. “You're drunk.”
“Can’t sleep.” He felt his eyes water. He reached for Azriel’s shoulder but Az held him in place. “I’m sorry. I'm so sorry.”
“Look at me,” Az’s hands were cold as they cradled Eris’ face, forcing him to look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry too.”
“Your hands are cold.” He muttered, his own reaching up to cover them. He wasn’t sober enough to focus his magic like he wanted to.
“They are.” Az gave him a soft smile. “I’ll live.”
Eris frowned. “Why did you come back?”
To Azriel’s credit, he didn’t seem shocked at the question.
“I came back because I love you.” And Azriel meant it.
“But you said-“
“I said it’s not easy.” He paused for a moment. “It’s not easy but I choose you. I will always choose you. Because I love you.”
There was silence between them for a moment.
“She’s not coming back.”
Az grimaced. “Eris, it’s late. She’s safe in Summer and probably sleeping. Like we both should be.”
“But I need her here.” Eris could hardly bear it. He needed you back. He needed to apologize. “Can’t we go get her?”
“So you want to start a war with Summer?” Az’s face was serious but there was a tilt in his voice.
“You’re laughing at me.” Eris replied solemnly.
“You’re drunk. It’s hard not to.” He sighed, his wings slumping and shadows buzzing about them. “Let’s go to bed and sleep this off.”
Eris was silent but seemed to concede. Az guided him out the room and back to their chambers. He would have winnowed if Eris hadn’t been so inebriated. He really didn’t feel like cleaning up vomit.
“You’re too good to me,” Eris muttered as they made their way down the hall.
Az tightened his arm around him. “I could argue the same.”
More silence passed. “Do you think she’ll come back?”
Azriel didn’t reply. He could only hope. His shadows whispered as much as he helped Eris undress in their chamber and get him to bed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In Summer, you tossed and turned. The air was too warm even with the cool magical breeze that floated through the open windows. The bed was too small. Too empty. You finally cast a spell on your blanket and pillows, making them colder. How funny you’d gotten used to Autumn's colder climate.
The spell worked too well. You were suddenly too cold, too cold without Eris and Az’s body heat to keep you warm. Tears fell on your pillow. They were probably sleeping fine without you. Your mind went to the letter you left in the other room. You were too afraid to open it. They probably only wanted you home until after the High Lords’ meeting. Or maybe they never wanted you to come back. You pulled the blanket tight around yourself. Whatever the letter said could wait until morning.
You sighed and tried to go to sleep.
Part 3
#neapolitan bonds#eris vanserra#acotar#azriel#azriel/eris/reader#reader x Azris#part 2#a lesson in heartbreak
111 notes
·
View notes
Text
This is in no way an old-people problem, if anything it’s more prevalent in the 25-35 age group. At work, I manage a small team. What we do isn’t important, but it’s what I’d term an “email job”. One of my team members told me their email stopped working, they can’t send or receive any. After some digging, turns out they got a pop up and didn’t know what to do so ignored it. Went through the steps, got the pop up to come up and what does it say? “Please re-enter your password for security”.
And this is a 30+ woman who’s worked in an office more than ten years.
ohhh… you guys are like… STUPID stupid
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
So, I've been thinking about the stuff that ghostfuckers told us about Millie, and I got curious and wondered if what we learned about her there could be used to put things shown in the first short and unhappy campers into perspective a bit more.
Hell's Belles:
Some comments from Sallie May interested me, mainly the lines "for your fancy job." and "shiny new life", and there's a line in ghostfuckers I think I can tie into Sallie May generally describing Millie's job and life positively.
That being, "Most of my life I bought into the idea that all I could ever be was a simple farm girl. Or best an underpaid goon.", and I suspect that Sallie May is still affected by this stereotype, that she feels like she's also a part of that stereotype, considering that we know that she helps out at her parent's ranch.
Which would explain part of the reason why Sallie May calls it 'fancy' and 'shiny', because she may feel like Millie is a notable exception to the stereotype, which would obviously be something that she would describe positively, especially considering that job and life now also consists of killing humans, something that is very much a one of a kind thing. Considering that Millie bought into the stereotype before joining Blitz, it's very probable that Sally May also bought into the same/similar stereotype.
Obviously this is only part of the reason why she describes Millie's job and life like she does, but I still feel like ghostfuckers adds more depth to that statement.
Another thing that I want to mention is the fact that they did some playfighting at the end of the episode, which I think ties into this line in ghostfuckers: "We're just Wrathians, Blitzo. Muscle. It's all we're good for, all I'm good for."
Another stereotype, that all Wrathians are good for is muscle, and fighting is a good way of building muscle, which would help to explain why they just naturally fell into playfighting at the end of the episode, because it's implied that they had playfights like this a lot with each other, and considering the stereotype of that all Wrathians are good for is muscle, it makes sense why they have such a history of playfighting with each other, because again, if Millie believed that stereotype before meeting Blitz, it's very likely that Sallie May also believed the same/similar stereotype as well.
Unhappy Campers:
Let's just skip to the boiling point of their argument in this episode, we know that Millie felt undermined during this episode, which we can see with the line "And for once, I feel like... like I'm important. Like I'm someone to be proud of...", which quite heavily plays into the line "We're just Wrathians, Blitzo. Muscle. It's all we're good for, all I'm good for.", which probably helps to explain part of the reason why Millie felt so strongly about this, just because you know that the stereotype is false doesn't mean it doesn't effect you anymore, it's clearly something that still resides in the back of Millie's head somewhere.
I use that line in particular, because there's two times in the episode before this where we can see Millie be visibly annoyed at Moxxie, and I believe that part of the reason is because she feels like her other qualities are being undermined, with the main one here being her smarts, which kind of plays into the line in ghostfuckers, that stereotype, because considering how prominent that stereotype was for her until meeting Blitz, it's not unreasonable to assume that this specific stereotype was playing in the back of her mind again, which would help to explain part of the reason why she felt so strongly about it when the argument reaches it's boiling point.
Plus, one of the first things Blitz told Millie right after he moved his business to IMP was 'You're tougher, smarter, and frankly more capable than anyone I've ever met in any ring.', showing even further why Millie feels so strongly about this, she probably feels like what Moxxie is doing is a slap in the face to what Blitz told her when they first moved to IMP for their business.
Plus, there's also other relevant lines like "Most of my life I bought into the idea that all I could ever be was a simple farm girl. Or best an underpaid goon." and "Not exactly a shortage of imp assassins in Wrath. Reputation is everything."
"And what's your reputation, hmm?"
Although these are less directly relevant to this scene, I still think it's worth considering into the big picture of why Millie felt so strongly here.
tbh, this is another reason while I'll defend the unhappy campers Moxxie and Millie conflict, it has quite a bit of depth to it if you consider everything, and I've just shown you all that ghostfuckers has given that conflict a bit more depth.
#helluva boss#helluva boss millie#moxxie helluva boss#sallie may#an in depth post from me where the focus isn't on Blitz or Stolas?#color me shocked
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
The problem isn't that he's a felon.
The problem is that Trump as a felon is able to get a well paid, highly important job when other felons are punished by less job opportunities. Trump can have 34 felonies, but someone with only 1 is put through significant stress and turmoil while trying to work at a minimum wage, dead end job.
The problem is that Trump ran his campaign of the promise to hurt vulnerable communities including immigrants, queer people, trans people, women, and so many others AND WON.* Trump lied through his teeth (of which we have evidence), promoted fear mongering, and has been endorsed by the K.K.K.
The problem is that even when presented with facts and recordings on a silver platter of Trump's true nature, his supporters still chose to believe that tariffs were a smarter option than protecting people. They chose to accept that Trump being a rapist, racist, homophobe, transphobe, etc. was better than having a woman of color for president. The problem is that they saw those facts as more reasons to vote for him.
The problem is that Trump is rich and powerful and gets away with his felonies. He has not been given the same harsh inhuman treatment as other convicted felons. He hasn't been let off easy because people saw the way we treat those in prison is inhumane, but because he is rich and powerful.
The problem is that the presidential position has been given absolute immunity, and Trump is fully willing to take advantage of that fact. Meanwhile Biden isn't using that immunity for anything good.
The problem is that Trump as an individual was elected president. His criminal record aside, that is the biggest problem.
*There has been evidence of interference brought to light, but I have not done enough research on any of the incidents to confidently say one way or the other if it is factual. And, assuming they are all factual and true, I have no way of confirming if Trump was behind it, or if people acted of their own volition on Trump's behalf without being told to.
#donald trump#election interference#election season#election 2024#us elections#joe biden#republicans#democrats#kamala harris
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
10th floor, ceo!sungchan x reader
! blowjob, sir kink?
you arrange your shirt nervously, your leg bouncing on the wooden floor. you really need that job. you already went through two interviews, but the company you applied is quite luxurious, and after meeting managers and the head of the human ressources, you were urged to meet the ceo. you heard he was the one actually making decisions for the workers, and he's the last wall between you and that very important job.
even though you know the famous company by name, you never heard of jung sungchan. the young owner inherited everything from his father after his passing, making a huge difference in the harsh business environment due to his age. the company never flourished this well since sungchan's new ceo position. all you could recall from the words of the managers is that he's great at making people fall for him and his traps to make his wealth grow bigger.
your appointment with sungchan is planned in less than 10 minutes. you're early, and now the time seems like it's ticking slowly enough for you to die at least twice on the chair. the corridor that's connected to sungchan's office is quiet and you could only hear your -almost- steady breathing and the faint voice of a man on the other side of the door.
your eyes travel the papers in your hands, the review letters from your past interviews, you read the positive sentences over and over again. you believe in yourself for this job. you almost jump from the chair when you hear the doorknob then the door open. your eyes meet jung sungchan's, and you immediately get what the workers you met meant when they told you the ceo makes all the heads spin.
he's much taller than you expected, an annoyingly pretty face with serious yet soft eyes, a faint smile making him look even sweeter. sungchan steps out of his office and stands in front of you. you immediately get up from the chair.
"i think we have a little interview together, right?"
"yes... sir... i'm here for the job."
"i heard about you, the managers gave me great feedbacks. you're quite a pretty thing."
the words get stuck in your throat, your eyes flutter and sungchan chuckles at your reaction. he opens the door and invites you inside, closing it safely behind you. you stand up awkwardly in the office as sungchan sits down on his luxurious chair and sighs. he shifts himself on the soft material of the chair, and point the seat in front of his desk with his head.
"sit down."
sungchan doesn't need to ask you twice. you sit down and put in front of him the review letters from the different staffs. the silence feels awkward to you, your eyes travel around the room everywhere but in front of you to avoid the ceo's gaze. sungchan is focused on you, massaging his large hands. finally the silence is broken by his voice, and you dare to look at him again. sungchan had opened his tight shirt a little and loosened his tie, and is now looking right at you with a much more serious stare.
"tell me pretty, how much do you need that job?"
you take a moment to think about what to answer. the switch of behavior of the tall man makes you grow more nervous and your face feels hot. you should tell him the truth but won't you sound too desperate?
"answer me when i ask a question."
"i really.... really need that job sir... i have been wanting to work there for so long, i really want it."
"much better when you reply like that. come stand here, pretty."
you take a deep breath and stand up. sungchan's gaze is almost burning you, you can feel it from the tip of your fingers to your chest and face, down your thighs... the ceo sits back in his chair, his legs comfortably parted.
"i think we can help each other out, hm? your pretty face helps me with my problem and i'm sure i can find a nice place for you in the company."
"...excuse me..?"
"don't do that pretty... show some interest in what your boss is asking you..."
sungchan's tone drips like honey into your ears. one of his hand rubs his thigh slowly while he rests his chin on the other one with his gaze so heavy on you. each step you take closer to him make the bulge straining his pants grow larger. sungchan scoffs at your slow moves, his hand rubbing himself over his clothes.
"you know... being such an important person is so much stress... i'm sure you can help out, right? you must do everything i say if you want to work for me, hm."
you slowly drop on your knees in front of him, your hands on his thighs and your face so close to the throbbing bulge. sungchan's smirk grow wider, his hands unbuckling his belt but not opening his pants. he trails his finger down your jaw and hold your chin with the tip of it.
"tell me pretty... want to help the boss out?"
"...yes."
sungchan's smile drops and his voice gets lower.
"yes who?"
"yes sir."
"good."
you nervously let your hands travel sungchan's thighs, earning a low sigh from him. you unbutton his pants, opening it enough to show his strained underwear, the hot bulge twitching under your fingers. you press your palm between sungchan's legs and he groans at your touch, one of his hand finding its place in your hair.
you lick your lips and finally tug on sungchan's underwear slowly, you free his hard cock that stands proudly in front of your face. you caress the veiny length experimentally, and sungchan put his hand around yours to make you hold his dick, making you pump him a little.
he holds the base of his cock with both yours and his hand, he pushes the leaking and red tip on your lips eagerly. you give a lick on the slit as more precum drips on your tongue, and sungchan finally lets go of your hand. he rests himself on his chair, fingers tangled into your hair. when you finally take him into your mouth, a low moan escapes from his throat.
"j-just like that pretty..."
encouraged by his words, you take him deeper, your tongue swirling around his length and tracing the veins. sungchan gets more noisy, breathy groans coming out of his parted lips. his closed eyes open to look at you when you bob your head and take your time on the head of his cock. more praises fall from his tongue and his fingers tug on your hair to bring you closer.
you cough around his dick. you take him away from your mouth and jerk him off, putting all your attention on his throbbing tip that seems ready to explode any minute. you push your thumb on the slit and coat the head of his cock with the sticky fluid. more impatient to find his place back into your hot mouth, sungchan push on your head until his cock hits your face. you open your lips and let him inside, his tip hitting far into your throat as sungchan tug on your hair a little more harshly.
"fuck... keep going..."
the ceo's hips buck into your mouth pushing him deeper inside. you almost gag around him and hold the base of his dick in your hand, rubbing it quickly while you drag your tongue up and down. the way sungchan's groans grow louder and heavier make you speed up, you look up to meet his half opened eyes. his chest heaves to a fast yet steady rhythm, his unbuttoned shirt showing his glistening chest.
you suck on his tip and you feel sungchan's grip on your hair tighten, his two hands holding your head in place while he pushes his hips into you face. you can feel drool dripping from your chin mixed with his cum that erupts into your throat. you move your head slowly to make sure you don't miss a single drop of his bitter fluid before letting go of his now softening dick.
you lick your lips and you feel sungchan's thumb rub on your chin gently, wiping away the spit that coats your skin. sungchan grabs your cheeks and drag you up until you're close of his face. he meets your lips in a sweet kiss, mixed with the taste of his cum. the ceo releases you from his grip and puts back his clothes, buttoning his pants and tucking his shirt back inside.
"so good to me... you did so well pretty."
you sit back on the other side of the desk and sungchan takes the papers that you dropped in front of him. he quickly go through the praises and good reviews from his workers with a smile, looking at you from behind the letters.
"i guess i have a new coworker. you did such a good job. but i expect much more from you starting from today, understood?"
"yes sir."
sungchan work that gets released before eunseok work sorry.... got inspired by the riize court and someone's request, please enjoy :3 eunseok is next, then wonbin!
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy Sunday! I hope this new week will be gentler on everyone 💕 here are some sentences from a 5x05 coda I posted on Friday: the brink of a wrinkle in time
Carlos lays his head on TK’s chest, letting TK continue to pet him as he listens to his heartbeat. “Remember the Ranger I was telling you about the other week, Campbell?”
“Idiot soup man? Yes, I do recall that guy.”
TK feels Carlos smile against his skin. Carlos begins tracing constellations between the moles and freckles on TK’s body. “He told me for their first anniversary eleven years ago, he got his wife a dozen red roses, ten tulips, six pink peonies, and some stargazer lilies.”
“Wow,” TK hums. “He remembers all that all these years later?”
“That’s the thing,” Carlos glances up. “He phones it in for every holiday, every anniversary, every birthday. It’s the same flower arrangement every time.”
TK blinks. “You’re joking.”
Carlos shakes his head. “He told me that she gets it. That his wife gets she has to be second to his job because someone else is counting on him to solve a homicide or a kidnapping.”
TK’s eyebrows shoot up at that and his sass hand is about to make an appearance when Carlos keeps talking.
“I think that’s stupid. I’m married to you, not my job. And I don’t want you to have to get it or settle for less than what you deserve. You already know my job is important, same as I know yours is…” Carlos shakes his head. “I just think it’s bullshit to push your spouse to the side because you should be using your brain all the time to think about the next case.”
TK softens as Carlos talks. This all really is just about finding his dad’s killer. TK knows he’s married to a good man who will always treat him right. Maybe they both lost focus of that recently, but things aren’t hopeless because they need an outside force to talk to, and maybe it’s because of couples counseling, or because of what Carlos dealt with at work, but he seems more receptive to listening to what TK has to say than he has in months.
“Sheesh…I feel like I should take Mrs. Campbell out for coffee and find out if she’s sleeping with other men,” TK grins.
“TK!” Carlos huffs and pinches TK’s hip, but he’s laughing too, and it’s one of the sweetest sounds TK has ever heard.
No pressure tags @ironheartwriter @heartstringsduet @strandnreyes @paperstorm @reyesstrand @bonheur-cafe @eclectic-sassycoweyes @captain-gillian @carlos-in-glasses @carlossreaders @henrygrass @tellmegoodbye @welcometololaland @lemonlyman-dotcom @nisbanisba @corsage @decafdino @chicgeekgirl89 @alrightbuckaroo @lightningboltreader @sapphic--kiwi @nancys-braids + Open 🏷️
#I haven’t gotten to start one of these before!#😌#seven sentence sunday#work is published Sunday#tarlos#911 lone star#em writes
42 notes
·
View notes
Note
review sockathan ! 👻👻👻
woah how'd you make that green
SOCKATHAN YAOI REVIEW
Disclaimer: This will contain spoilers (kind of) for Welcome to Hell 2 Part 1 and Welcome to Hell. You should probably go watch that. Its made by Erica Wester and its PRETTY cool.)
My Yaoi Entrepreneurs, I'll be blunt with you. I know we've ALL seen gay people, maybe in the streets, maybe at the park. You might even see one in your home now, so lets be honest with ourselves. Sock is DEFINITELY gay, bisexual at LEAST.
The OTHER one on the other hand.. its a little bit harder to say.. I'll probably find something though..
Lets make one thing clear, when I say Yaoi in this review. I don't mean ANYTHING inappropriate. Its just my special way of saying gay people.. I'm kinda magical in that sense.
Lets just get the first one done and over with a simple section I like to call:
EVIDENCE 1: SOCK IN GENERAL
okay so FIRST of all the FIRST time we see sock, they call Jonathan "hot stuff" while being in a fridge. I'm not sure about you but that's love if I ever saw it.
After that they introduce you to Sock killing his parents. One key point after another. If Sock being gay wasn't important, then WHY was it shown BEFORE telling us Sock's (other) main trait. Checkmate liberals.
Sock would then get the report from Mephistopheles, and you COULD say its just because the camera zoomed in, but its literally the most light ever seen in Sock's eyes.
And then Sock went on to ruin Jonathan's day, making him look crazy, and Jonathan SOMEHOW got blamed for knocking down that desk, I swear I think the teachers just hate him. I'm not sure about you but I certainly cant KNOCK over a desk thats right next to me.
He was WRITING too.. would a guilty man of desk flipping WRITE?? NO!!
And not to mention that Sock made Jonathan look DUMB in front of the faceless brothers which was probably the closest time that Sock did their job right.
Sock absolutely ruined it today.. but can you blame them? They're new to the job, give them some SLACK.
But the upcoming days, Sock was so whimsical.
Yeah SURE. Sock is still telling Jonathan to kill himself, but they just don't want to get fired!!
Not to mention the fact that they stared at Jonathan while they were taking a piss, but there's nothing odd about that.
And also near the end, Mephistopheles calls sock out on liking the guy, and Sock stutters. You just have to take my word for it.
SOCK IN GENERAL 2 [PART 1]
If you saw Welcome to Hell 2 [Part 1], you already know what I'm gonna comment about. Sock went on to call Jonathan's mother, hot. They then went on to say "Must be where you got it from, huh? You definitely got her butt at least."
When Jonathan goes on a walk and Sock follows them and says after Jonathan says he doesn't wanna be friends with them. (We'll get back to that)
"Oh wow, come to think of it, You don't really have ANYONE do YOU? What's that feel like? Knowing you're gonna die alone." to which Jonathan snaps back with "I dunno Sock, you tell me."
Now at first, this looks like a scene of ANTI SOCKATHAN propaganda, but think with me here, yaoiers. How would Jonathan know that Sock died alone??
I understand if he just guessed, since sock DOES look like someone who would die alone, or he just said whatever comeback that came to his head but if not, Sock ALREADY told Jonathan about their past life.
If what I KNOW is true, Sock VENTED to Jonathan about their life before they died in LESS than a week, since Sock just now sees Jonathan's mother in the first part, and due to a comment made by the creator.
Sock REALLY trusts this guy, maybe Mephistopheles didn't want to hear them vent, but maybe its JUST because Sock wanted Jonathan to do the same. but they probably didn't.
And then near the end, Sock says to Jonathan when he snatched his employee manual
"Jonathan, if something happens to you-"
Actually, I think this is pretty weak evidence but I thought I'd include it, since a teacher would say the same thing if a kindergartener was up on a high shelf.
That segment was PRETTY lengthy, but I PROMISE you, the others will be shorter, I just.. didn't expect there to be so much for Sock...
EVIDENCE 2: SOCK SUCKS AT THEIR JOB.
Jonathan was DEAD ON when they told Sock that they suck at their job. And quite honestly.. I could've done it better.. I could've got Jonathan to kill himself (theoretically) on the FIRST day, and if you wouldn't use my strategy, I promise you that there's probably several other you could use for the teenager that you want them to kill themselves at home.
STEP 1: GRAB A WEAPON
Since Sock is seen to be able to flip over a desk and they're able to HOLD Jonathan's journal (Shock or not), I should THEORITCALLY be able to grab a weapon, now for this strategy, I suggest you pick a nonlethal option, only to have a lethal option around, for this example, I will be using a sledgehammer.
After swinging that at the noggin, Jonathan would drop unconscious, probably with brain damage (that don't matter though)
STEP 2: POSSESS THE TEENAGER
Now it MAY not be like this in w2h, but Mephistopheles was able to possess Jonathan when he was DEAD (Probably), so It should hopefully work when they're out of consciousness.
STEP 3: KILL YOURSELF.
Alright now I KNOW that sounds bad.. but it wouldn't be MY hands to kill him. Grab the nearby lethal and SHOOT. THAT. TEENAGER!! Your boss may not agree with the logistics of this, but you get the job done.
This simulation was to PROVE that Sock atleast CARES a bit about Jonathan to want to get to know him. and to not kill him on the spot. Now if It was the other way around.. I'm not exactly sure..
EVIDENCE 3: JONATHAN KINDA HATES SOCK
(he looks like hes standing up to a school bully)
At the beginning of Welcome to Hell, hes clearly annoyed and STILL is annoyed by some of Sock's actions by the end, but he atleast isn't mad enough to NOT act like he could put up with Sock. I think the closest thing to gayness from Jonathan was when he moved the backpack for Sock to sit down.
In Welcome to Hell 2, he IS PISSED at this guy, and honestly, if Sock kept on knocking down those desks, i CANT blame him..
Maybe Sock kinda ruined the vibe when they expressed their love for Jonathan's mother, its hard to say really..
Jonathan makes this very clear that he DOESN'T even wanna be Sock's friend, I mean HAVE YOU HEARD THE THEME SONG?
SUMMARY:
Sock wasn't able to win Jonathan's heart, making him tonight's biggest loser.
YAOI: 6.5/10
#welcome to hell#w2h#w2h2#w2h sock#w2h jonathan#welcome to hell 2#sockathan#sock sowachowski#yaoi#yaoireview#jonathan combs
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Reprise
Aaron gets a call, and it feels like nothing short of history repeating itself.
-x-
Hi besties,
So, I recently realised all of my hurt comfort lately has been Aaron comforting Emily...so then I wrote this.
As always, let me know what you think <3
-x-
Warnings: Minor Emily Prentiss whump, pregnancy, minor injuries
Words: 3.3k
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
He keeps getting interrupted.
Paperwork was the most boring part of his job, but one of the most important. If they got it wrong, if even the tiniest detail was missed, then it could be used as a technicality by a defence lawyer. An error that could lead to a dangerous individual being back on the streets, which was something Aaron didn’t want to weigh on his or anyone on his team's shoulders. He’d been there. Had felt guilty over mistakes he’d made before, and any assurances that he’s human, that he’s bound to make mistakes occasionally, would always fall flat.
He was reviewing casework, desperate to get the pile of files in front of him finished so he could go home and spend the evening with his wife and kids, but every time he was getting somewhere someone would knock on his door to ask a question. A distraction that could lead to a mistake that meant he found himself reading the same pages again and again, not making any progress as the clock ticked closer and closer towards his little girl’s bedtime.
He’d already sent Emily a text. Had let her know he was running late and to have dinner without him but that he’d be home before the kids went to bed. If he wasn’t away on a case, bath and bedtime were his jobs, now more than ever because of Emily’s pregnancy. Not only was she struggling to kneel on the floor next to the bath these days, but she was exhausted all the time. The four years that had passed since she’d had Mae were enough for her to have forgotten how rough pregnancy was, especially now she’d just tipped over into her third trimester.
He knew if he called her, if he told her he’d be even later than he thought, that she wouldn’t be mad at him. She’d say that she understood and she’d hand the phone over to Mae, would encourage the four-year-old to speak to him over the phone so he could at least say goodnight to her. Then, when he did get home, she’d kiss him hello and offer to make him a drink whilst he went to Mae’s bedroom to kiss her forehead and just watch her for a minute or two. Her face relaxed and her cheek pressed into the pillow as she hugged her favourite toy to her chest. Both she and Jack, and the little boy Emily was currently pregnant with, were a reminder that good things existed. That he had the life he once thought he’d never get a chance at again.
There’s a knock on his office door and he sighs, shaking his head as he calls out for the person to come in, his pen already placed down on his desk.
At this rate, he’d get home to everyone already in bed.
“You could look happier to see me,” Dave says, smirking at him as he leans against the doorframe, “I am your best friend after all.”
“Emily is my best friend,” he corrects, leaning back in his chair.
“She’s your wife.”
Aaron smiles despite his irritation at being interrupted, “She’s my best friend too,” he says, his smile getting wider when Dave furrows his brow, “Have you ever thought this might be why none of your marriages worked out?”
He places his hand on his chest in mock hurt, “You know, you used to be a lot nicer before you married Emily,” he jokes, and they both laugh.
“Is there a reason you’ve interrupted me?” Aaron asks, raising his eyebrow at him, “Or did you just come in to ruin my flow again?”
“I’ve finished last month's budget reports for you,” he says, pulling them from behind his back and placing them on his desk, “All you need to do is sign them.”
Aaron looks up at him, “I’m not going to unknowingly sign off on the department paying for your next book tour am I?”
Dave chuckles and shrugs, “Guess you’re going to have to see how much you trust me,” he jokes, “You should just go home, Aaron. The paperwork will still be here tomorrow.”
He sighs and nods, “I know. I wanted to make more progress than I have. Cruz has been breathing down my neck.”
“You’ve got two kids and a pregnant wife, who happens to head up his Counterterrorism unit, at home. He’s not going to begrudge you going home,” he looks at his watch, “Especially when it’s already an hour past the end of your day.”
Aaron knows he’s right, but old habits died hard. Even now he found himself getting sucked into work, although never as badly as he had when he was married to Haley. In some ways, he found that Emily's understanding of his job in the way she did helped, because if she ever asked him to take a step back it made him question himself, made him do as she asked of him. He wasn’t proud of it, wasn’t proud that Haley asking him had never been enough, but he knew it meant that he’d learnt from his past. That he hadn’t brought the mistakes from his first marriage into his second one.
“You’re right, I’ll-” he’s cut off when he hears his phone ring, the vibration of it against the desk loud in the otherwise quiet office. He frowns at the withheld number and picks it up, sending Dave an apologetic smile as he answers, “Aaron Hotchner.”
“Hi, Mr Hotchner, I’m Lisa, I’m an ER nurse at Stafford Hospital…”
Everything slows down around him, his chest stuttering as time moves like syrup, every second sticking in the back of his throat, making it hard to breathe as he tightens his grip on his phone, surprised he doesn’t crush it as the nurse confirms what he already knows she’s going to say.
“Your wife and children were brought in this evening after being involved in a car accident.”
___
Emily wasn’t answering her phone. It doesn’t even ring.
He calls her. Again and again and again and she doesn’t answer. Each time it goes straight to voicemail the sound of her voice on her personalised message makes him ache, his shoulders so tight as he drives he worries they may pop out of the joints.
He tries again, presses the speed dial in his car but it goes to voicemail again. Her voice ringing out through the speakers around him.
“Hi, you’ve reached Emily Prentiss, please leave a message after the tone and I’ll get back to you.”
“Em, call me back, please,” he begs, ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him this might be the last time he hears her voice, that this will replace whatever she’d said to him when they left for work that morning in their separate cars, “I’m…please answer the phone. I love you.”
It’s familiar. Too familiar. His hands tight on the steering wheel as he’s desperately trying to get to the woman he loves. Fear greeting him like an old friend as it breathes down his neck, its hand about to reach out for him and grab him by the shoulder. He tries to tell himself that it’s okay, that she and the kids are fine, but he can’t stop thinking that she hasn’t answered her phone.
She would answer if everything was okay. She’d call him if everything was okay.
He doesn’t remember a second of the journey by the time he makes it to the hospital. He flashes his badge at a security guard who tells him he can’t park where he’s pulled up, not caring if it’s an abuse of power. Every single cell in his body vibrating with fear and pre-emptive grief and guilt. He should have been with them. If he’d just gone home when he should have he would have been with them.
He walks up to the desk in the ER, grateful there isn’t a line of people. He’s already speaking to the nurse before she looks up at him, all of the details he had spilling out of him in a second, words tripping themselves as he desperately gets them out.
“I got a call about my wife - Emily Prentiss, she’s pregnant. And my children Jack and Mae Hotchner. I was told they were in a car accident.”
“Okay,” she says, looking at the computer, “Let me just check my system for them…” She drifts off as she types, and he hates how good he is at his job. Hates that he sees the very brief furrowing of her brows before she smiles up at him, “Did you say Prentiss?”
“Yes,” he replies, his voice barely recognisable even to himself.
“I’m sorry sir, I can’t see that we have any patients in the ER with that name, and I can’t see your children’s names either.”
He grips the counter, his fingers pressed against cheap wood as he holds himself up, “What do you mean they aren’t on the system?” He demands, shouting at the young woman in front of him even if he doesn’t mean to, his desperation reaching an all time high. He finds himself wishing he’d taken up Dave’s offer of driving him here so that he wouldn’t be alone for this.
“It could mean a couple of things, it could mean they’ve already been discharged,” she swallows thickly, “Or, I’m so sorry but it could mean-”
“Dad?”
He turns around so fast at the sound of his son’s voice that he pulls his neck, but the pain that flares in it barely registers. All the anger and grief floods out of him in an instant the moment he sets eyes on him, on them, standing just a few feet away. Emily is standing next to Jack, her arm around his shoulders and the other arm securing Mae to her hip, the little girl’s face pressed against her neck. The only visible sign of injury is a bandage on Emily’s forehead, the stark white of the material a sight that is a little too familiar for his liking.
“Oh my God,” he breathes out, making it to their sides in a few seconds, pulling them into his arms. His whole world in his embrace before he pulls back, dropping a kiss to Jack’s forehead and then turning to kiss his little girl’s and then finally his wife, “I thought…you didn’t answer your phone.”
“I know,” she says, unwrapping her arm from around Jack’s shoulder to cup Aaron’s cheek, her skin warm against his, “I’m so sorry baby. It was broken in the crash. Couldn’t even get it to turn on,” she looks over at the desk, a flash of irritation in her eyes, “And they wouldn’t let me call you myself.”
“And you’re…” he looks her up and down now he’s closer and then at the kids, looking for cuts and injuries that weren’t there.
“We’re okay. If I’d been in the car alone, if I wasn’t pregnant, I probably wouldn’t have come to the hospital,” she assures him, her hand slipping down to his neck, her thumb tracing back and forth over his jaw, “We all got looked at. We have some bruises from the seatbelts, and I hit my head on the steering wheel. But the doctors were happy to discharge us.”
“You’re okay?” He asks, breathless, as if he’d run all the way here. He places his hand on her bump and the baby moves, the breath Aaron sucks in rattling back and forth between his ribs, “And the baby?”
“He’s okay too,” Emily assures him, adjusting her hold on Mae. She turns to look at her, obvious fear shining in their daughter’s eyes and she tickles her to draw out a laugh, “We saw baby brother on the screen, huh?”
Mae nods, her excitement at being a big sister overtaking everything else, “We saw his peni-”
“They said everything looks good. Told me what to look out for that would mean I had to come back in, and I have to arrange a check up with my OBGYN in a couple of days. We got new pictures,” Emily says, cutting over her toddler, not missing the poorly hidden smiles of amusement from some of the people sitting in the waiting room, and the horror on some of the other faces at a four-year-old knowing the anatomical terms for intimate body parts. She presses her lips together and looks at her husband, “I can show you when we get home?”
“As long as the doctors are sure everyone is okay,” he says, “Maybe I should talk to someone, ask them to look at you all again.”
She smiles, passing over Mae so he has the comfort of their little girl in his arms, and he takes her willingly, stamping his lips against her forehead as he holds her close. She melts into his embrace, exhausted by the stress of what had happened, and he runs his hand soothingly up and down her back.
“Honey,” Emily says, reaching for his hand, linking their fingers together so she can squeeze his palm against hers. “We’ve all been cleared. We’re okay. I promise. Right, kiddo?”
Jack nods, “Right,” he smiles at his Dad, “Can we get pizza?”
Aaron chuckles, the residual panic still simmering in his gut, but he clears his throat and nods, wanting more than anything to just get his family home where he could keep them safe, “Yeah buddy,” he says, ruffling his hair, “We can get pizza.”
___
“I have a feeling we’ll wake up with both of them in our bed,” Emily says as she walks into their bedroom, groaning as she sits down, her body aching in more ways than it usually did these days, “But they are both asleep.” She turns to look at Aaron. He’s sitting on the bed too, an arm's length away, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, “Honey-”
“What happened?”
She sighs and swallows thickly. They hadn’t spoken about it, not whilst the kids were with them. An unspoken agreement that they’d leave it until they went to bed. Neither one of them wanting Jack and Mae to relieve it when they were awake, when it was likely they would in their dreams.
“It was low impact,” she says, shifting towards him until their thighs touch. The guy behind us wasn’t paying attention, he was on his phone,” she reaches for his hand when he tenses and links their fingers together, “He went into the back of us at a red light. He’d already been slowing down because he saw it go yellow, he just missed it going red.”
“He could have killed you.”
“He rear-ended us.”
He all but growls, “He was being careless.”
She makes him look at her, her hand cupping his chin as she forces him to turn his head, “Something that I made very clear with a lot of colourful language Mae might start repeating during breakfast tomorrow morning.”
Aaron sighs and kisses her knuckles, “What were you doing in the car anyway? I didn’t know you were going anywhere.”
She presses her lips together, giving herself a moment before she answers the question she’d been dreading all night, well aware of what his reaction would be, “We were bringing you dinner.”
His eyes go wide, the internalised anger she expected flashing in his eyes, frustration she knows he’s sending inwards for not being home on time written in the tension in his jaw. What she doesn’t expect, what she doesn’t see coming despite knowing him better than she knows herself, is the way he bursts into tears. A sob caught in his chest that sounds like it hurts, cracking his ribs from the inside out, the sharp edges of them catching on scars that were already scattered across his skin. Like he’s tearing himself apart from the inside out in the same places another man once tore him apart from the outside in.
“Aaron,” she breathes out, barely getting a second before he leans forward and presses his face against her neck, his tears burning her skin. She holds him close and turns her head to kiss his forehead. She blows out a shaky breath, seeing him this upset enough to tip her over the edge herself, “We’re okay-”
“I know you’re okay, Em,” he chokes out, tears leaving tracks on her neck, his words muffled against her collarbone as his misplaced anger turns into the grief he couldn’t shake off, “But I keep going back to that moment when I didn’t know that you were. It felt like…” he drifts off and chokes on the rest of his sentence, “It felt like my world was ending. If I lost you…”
She pulls back so she can look at him, and she presses her forehead against his, her hand curled around the back of his head as she holds him in place, “Sweetheart,” she says, the nickname he usually used for her slipping free, “I’m right here,” she says, reaching for his hand to place it on her chest, making a point of breathing in and out deeply so he can feel the rise and fall of it, “I’m okay. The kids are safe and asleep in their beds,” she shifts their joint hands to her bump and she smiles when the baby kicks, “Baby boy is kicking up a storm as always. We’re right here. You didn’t lose any of us. This isn’t like what happened with Haley,” she reaches up and wipes a tear from his cheek, “We’re all right here.”
He chokes on a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob. He shakes his head, making it knock gently against hers before he pulls back to look at her, “Sometimes I think you know me a little too well.”
She shakes her head and squeezes the hand still pressed against her bump, “I’m your wife. I don’t think it’s possible for me to know you too well.”
“I’m so-”
“I don’t want to hear any apologies,” she says, wiping his cheeks again, “Not for staying at the office late. Or for crying. You have nothing to apologise for, okay?”
He nods, resting his forehead against hers, “Okay.”
They wear a door open just down the hall, and then the thundering of Mae’s tiny feet against the hardwood floor. When she opens their door and pokes her head around it she has tears shining on her cheeks, her lips trembling as she steps into the room.
“Mommy, Daddy, I had a bad dream.”
Emily shifts back from Aaron just enough to make room for the little girl, “Come here, baby. Do you want to sleep in our bed tonight?”
She nods as she climbs onto the bed, settling herself onto Aaron’s lap, “Yes please.”
Aaron smiles and kisses the top of her head, “Well, since you asked so nicely.”
Mae looks up at him and frowns when she spots his damn cheeks, “Are you sad Daddy?”
“I’m okay, baby,” He sighs and runs his fingers through her hair, exchanging a quick look with Emily before he returns his attention to his little girl, “I was just scared because you, Jack, Mommy and baby brother could have been hurt.”
She moves so she’s level with his face, all but standing in his lap now, his hands on her waist as he secures her in place. She kisses his forehead, making both him and Emily smile, and then she pulls back, “We’re okay.”
“I know, princess,” he kisses her forehead in return and encourages her to sit back down, “Are you okay to get comfortable in bed whilst Mommy and I get ready?”
She nods and then tilts her head curiously, waiting until both her parents are standing up before she speaks, “Daddy?”
“Yes, Mae?”
“What’s a douche canoe?”
#aaron hotchner#hotchniss fanfic#emily prentiss#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotchniss fan fic#aaron hotchner x emily prentiss#hotchniss fanfiction#emily prentiss fanfiction#aaron x emily#hotchniss
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
And then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you.
Part 7 of 12
Synopsis: Kissing butt and moving forward
Pairing: unrequited JJ x Reader, Eventual Rafe x Reader
Warnings: sleazy old men being creepy, mild mentions of SA
Before you start this chapter, please listen to this song, this is pivotal to understanding y/n’s thoughts during the last scene. https://open.spotify.com/track/4zXuYQNDmw3dlauyc8q3Kd?si=646c78b4897948b6
masterlist
—------
The country club was alive with the usual hum of polished interactions: the soft clinking of glasses, the shuffle of wait staff in black and white uniforms, and the low murmur of conversation filling the grand, gilded ballroom. Y/N moved through the space, her tray steady in her hands as she refilled water glasses and delivered drinks with practiced ease. Her eyes darted from task to task, trying to stay focused, but something gnawed at her.
She could feel the weight of JJ’s breath on her lips, the sting of his casual response when she’d told him how she felt. The memory of his pity-kiss made her stomach turn even now. It was hard to escape the feeling that something had irrevocably shifted between them. She didn’t want to think about it—not today. Today, she wanted answers, or at least a sign that things hadn’t fallen apart entirely.
She caught sight of him across the room, missing the usual smirk as he wiped down a table, leaning over to clear away dirty glasses. She walked toward him with a steadiness she didn’t feel. A few steps from his table, she hesitated, unsure what to say, but the chance to confront him felt too important to waste. Her heart was already racing before she even spoke his name.
"JJ."
He looked up, his blue eyes meeting hers for the briefest moment, but something in his expression shifted immediately. There was no warmth, no recognition of the awkwardness between them. He glanced over her shoulder, then back at her. “Not now, Y/N. I’m busy.”
The dismissal was swift, practiced. He didn’t even try to hide the way his gaze flitted away, settling on the next table with a customer’s request. As if she wasn’t there at all.
Y/N stood still for a moment, her breath caught in her throat. His back was already turned before she could say anything more. She swallowed hard, forcing her feet to move, the space between them suddenly feeling vast.
Before she could retreat further into herself, her manager appeared in her line of sight, his face set in the familiar, detached mask he wore when he had work for her.
“Y/N,” he called sharply, already holding out a clipboard. “You’re on for the private event tonight. Bikini server.”
The words hit her like a punch in the gut. She didn’t need to hear anything else. She knew exactly what that meant. A private party—one of those parties. The kind that everyone whispered about in the break room, and which most staff avoided at all costs. But there was no avoiding it when it was assigned.
Her stomach sank, and her mouth went dry as she reached for the clipboard without a word.
“Get dressed and head to the back. The event’s starting soon.”
She nodded mechanically, but inside, her pulse was already hammering. She had never done this before, however she heard about it from the other servers. the uncomfortable leers, the condescending smiles, the silent assessment of her in a bikini by a room full of men who didn’t care who she was as long as she was serving drinks. It was part of the job. She didn’t have a choice.
As the manager walked away, a memory crept into her mind. The last time she’d been assigned to a private event like this, JJ had intervened. She remembered him, laughing loudly and knocking over a tray of glasses in a clumsy but deliberate mess. His excuse to their boss had been thin, but it had worked—he’d saved her from being part of that atmosphere.
“If it ever happens again, just call me,” his words echoed in her mind. “I’ll have your back.”
She was grateful then. Grateful for the distraction, the sudden sense of safety, the way he’d made sure she didn’t have to endure the sleazy men and their eyes. But now, as she stood in the hallway, her phone gripped tightly in her hand, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was on her own this time.
Y/N’s fingers trembled as she pulled out her phone and unlocked it. She scrolled through her contacts until JJ’s name appeared. The hope that maybe—just maybe—he would come through for her again flashed in her chest. He promised she thought, swallowing hard.
She hit the call button, and the phone rang once. Then again.
With every passing second, her heart beat harder against her chest. The ringing seemed to stretch on forever, her breath quickening as the screen flashed with each new ring.
"Come on, JJ," she whispered, tapping the phone to her ear again.
The voicemail kicked in before she could brace herself. The robotic voice was the final blow.
She let out a shaky breath, her thumb hovering over the screen. Then, without thinking, she recorded a message, her voice quieter than she meant it to be.
“Hey, JJ… it’s Y/N. I, uh, I just wanted to remind you of what you said last time. You know, if something like this happens again, you’d have my back? Well, I’m going to that party tonight. And I could really use you here. But, you know, whatever. If you’re busy...”
Her voice cracked as she tried to finish, but the words stopped. She felt ridiculous, desperate. It wasn’t supposed to sound like this.
She cleared her throat and ended the message, but the silence afterward felt deafening. She hit “send” and stared at the screen, willing him to call her back.
When it went to voicemail, she just stood there for a moment, her heart sinking deeper. Her thumb hovered over the phone, but she didn’t press anything.
He's not coming.
She shoved the phone back into her pocket, the weight of it dragging her down. A last, fleeting sense of hope ebbed away, and she squared her shoulders. She wasn’t going to let it stop her. She couldn’t.
Her mind whirled, her thoughts a whirlwind of frustration and disappointment. She stuffed the phone into her pocket, straightened her shoulders, and forced her feet to move.
She passed by the staff locker rooms, the faint chatter of colleagues filtering out as they prepped for their own assignments. She moved past them with her head down, barely noticing the stares, her mind consumed by the scene ahead.
The ballroom loomed before her, its golden chandeliers gleaming in the dim light, the sound of clinking glasses and muted conversations pressing against her. She could already feel it—the weight of the men’s eyes, the way they would look at her like she was nothing more than the drinks she was about to serve.
But she kept walking, one foot in front of the other. It was just another job. She had to do this.
She could almost feel the eyes on her as she entered the ballroom. The air felt thick, heavy with expectation. She could already imagine the looks she would get, the comments they would make, the way her stomach would twist every time a man would glance at her with that knowing look.
Just get through it, she told herself. Just get through it.
–
The sound of clinking glasses and low conversation buzzed around Y/N as she awkwardly navigated through the crowd of older men in dark suits, her tray trembling slightly in her hands. She hated the smell of expensive cologne mixing with the stale air of the country club’s ballroom, and even more, she hated the way they looked at her—like she was nothing more than a decoration in a bikini, a piece of scenery for their business deals.
Y/N had been coerced into working this private event by her boss, who couldn’t care less that she was underage and shouldn't be serving drinks to these men. It was a way to make quick cash, and as usual, she had little choice. The job wasn’t worth the pit in her stomach, though. She could feel the eyes on her, too many stares lingering longer than they should. The glances from the men made her skin crawl.
Then, a hand gripped her wrist.
Y/N’s head snapped around to see a man, probably in his sixties, staring at her with a smug grin. The warmth of his hand made her skin crawl as he tugged her closer.
"Hey, sweetheart," he slurred, his breath smelling of whiskey. "Can I get another drink over here?" His eyes lingered too long, the leer obvious.
She tried to pull away, her heart racing. "Please, let go," she said firmly, but he didn’t budge.
The man’s grip tightened as his eyes roved over her body. "You don’t need to be shy, darling."
Without warning, he slapped her hard—his hand making a sickening smack as it landed on her bare skin. Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as the shock rippled through her, and she stumbled back, barely managing to steady herself. A sting bloomed across her backside, where his hand had landed.
She couldn’t stop the hot wave of humiliation that flooded over her. Her mind screamed for escape, and she bolted, running away from the man and the crowd of leering faces.
Y/N didn’t even know where she was going until she found herself outside, standing in the dark, hands shaking. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, but she wiped them away quickly. She needed to get out.
"Hey!" A voice called out from behind her, and she turned, startled.
Rafe Cameron stood in the doorway, looking out of place in his designer clothes amidst the worn-out, sea-washed buildings of the country club’s back lot. He must’ve been checking out his yacht nearby. His eyes softened when they landed on her, and it was the first time she noticed how different he looked, how much the usually cocky and aloof guy seemed almost… concerned.
"What happened?" Rafe asked, his voice low and serious, and it took her a moment to realize he wasn’t mocking her.
Y/N’s heart pounded. "I’m fine. Just—just go back inside." She tried to sound confident, but it came out more like a plea.
Rafe stepped closer, his gaze flicking over her. "Don’t bullshit me. You’re not fine." His eyes flickered to her side, where the imprint of the slap was already beginning to show a bruise that would likely darken by morning.
Without thinking, Rafe reached out, his thumb brushing over the mark. His touch was gentle, almost tender, and the contrast between his usual arrogant demeanor and this softness caught her off guard. He leaned down slowly, pressing a kiss to the bruise—just the slightest brush of his lips against her skin.
It wasn’t anything like what the men had done. It was nothing like the way they touched her.
Y/N froze. It wasn’t just the kiss. It was the kindness, the way he seemed to care, the way he wasn’t treating her like an object. For the first time in forever, she felt like someone actually saw her.
Rafe pulled back, his eyes searching hers. There was a moment of silence where neither of them knew quite what to say. His eyes softened, but then, Y/N’s voice cracked the tension in the air.
“You kissed my butt.” Y/N blinked, her brows knitting in confusion as she looked at him.
“I—I kissed your bruise. Not your—your butt!” Rafe stammered, his face flushing an almost comical shade of red. “Look, it was an accident, okay? I just saw the bruise, and I wanted to… you know, I don’t know… make it better?”
She fought a smile as she crossed her arms, feeling a mix of disbelief and amusement. “You kissed my butt.”
“No! I—well, I didn’t—okay, I did, but it wasn’t like that,” Rafe blurted out, his hands flying up in a panic as if he could somehow reverse the ridiculousness of the situation. “It was just a reflex, alright? You looked like you were in pain, and I—ugh, God, this is coming out so wrong.”
Y/N couldn’t help it. A laugh bubbled up, escaping before she could even stop it. The sheer awkwardness of the moment was too much, and she felt the tension break in a way she hadn’t expected.
“You kissed my butt,” she said again, this time with a grin that reached her eyes.
Rafe groaned, his hands rubbing his face in frustration. “Please, don’t tell anyone about this. I swear, I’ve never been this embarrassed in my life.”
But Y/N wasn’t listening to his rambling. She was still laughing, and somehow, it made her feel lighter, like the weight of the world inside her chest wasn’t so suffocating anymore.
Rafe stood there, frozen and awkward, clearly unsure if he should laugh along or hide from the humiliation. But as the moment stretched on, his gaze softened. He stepped closer, his fingers brushing against hers.
"You’re not alone, Y/N," he murmured, his voice dropping lower, his usual bravado gone for a second. “I’ve got you.”
Y/N looked at him, really looked at him. She didn’t feel like a piece of the scenery anymore, didn’t feel like she was something to be discarded or objectified. Rafe had done something stupid, sure, but it was more than that. He hadn’t treated her like a thing; he’d treated her like a person. And despite the chaos, despite the awkward kiss on her backside, for the first time in a long while, she felt seen.
And in that quiet, vulnerable moment, she didn’t hold back. Her heart thumped in her chest as she reached up, pulling him toward her and pressing her lips to his. It was desperate and unguarded, the kind of kiss that said everything they hadn’t said yet.
Rafe’s hands found her waist instantly, his grip firm but gentle, pulling her closer. It wasn’t about the kiss anymore. It wasn’t about the confusion or the embarrassment. For once, Y/N didn’t feel like she was something to be pitied or tolerated. She felt wanted. She felt enough.
When they finally pulled apart, the world felt different, as if everything had shifted on its axis.
Rafe was still watching her, his gaze full of something she couldn’t quite place. But there was one thing she knew for sure now.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered again, his voice soft but sure.
And in that moment, she knew she wasn’t alone anymore.
---
Bonus
---
A week passed, and life seemed to go back to normal—sort of. Y/N tried to bury the memory of the country club party, but it lingered in the back of her mind, along with Rafe’s unexpected tenderness. The days since have been nothing but amazing. It wasn’t just the kiss—it was everything he’d done. It was like he saw her, really saw her, for the first time.
She was walking to the market when she passed by the country club, feeling the familiar weight of the place she had hoped to forget. Her steps faltered when she saw the manager standing outside, suitcase in hand, looking disgraced.
She blinked, then did a double take. The manager was leaving. Wasn’t he supposed to be working tonight? And wasn’t it just a few days ago that she’d overheard him muttering about having another event to handle?
Curiosity gnawed at her. She approached one of the other servers, trying to sound casual. "Hey, what happened to the manager? He looks... well, he looks like he’s not coming back."
The server looked around nervously before shrugging. “You didn’t hear? He got fired, like, out of nowhere. No one knows why. They said it’s something to do with his behavior at the last event. Real bad stuff.”
Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. She felt the adrenaline start to pump through her veins as the pieces began to click together.
---
That evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon and Rafe showed up at her house unannounced, she felt the need to ask. They were sitting on the porch, sharing a silence that felt strangely comfortable, the air still warm from the day’s heat.
She finally broke the quiet. “Rafe… about the manager at the country club.”
He raised an eyebrow, his lips curling into that cocky grin that always made her stomach flip. “Yeah?”
Y/N hesitated, watching him closely. “Did you have anything to do with him getting fired?”
Rafe didn’t flinch. He didn’t even look at her, just took a slow sip of his drink, exhaling with a lazy grin, fully relaxed. “What, you think I got him fired?”
Y/N studied him, her pulse quickening. She could read him well enough now—he was hiding something, but whether it was guilt or pride, she couldn’t tell. “Did you?”
Rafe's eyes locked onto hers, the usual playful spark in his gaze replaced with something deeper. He shrugged like he was too cool to care, but there was a quiet intensity in his gaze. “Maybe. Maybe not. Doesn’t really matter, does it?”
Y/N’s stomach did a flip. There was no regret in his voice—just that casual, confident air that made her feel both at ease and a little... nervous. But it wasn’t just the words; it was the way he said them. Rafe didn’t do things by half-measures, especially not when it came to her.
“I don’t want to be your charity case, Rafe,” she said, her voice steady despite the tightening in her chest. “I don’t want you doing things like that for me.”
Rafe leaned back in his chair, the air around him thick with the kind of confidence that made everything else fade into the background. His eyes never left hers. “You’re not a charity case, Y/N.” He set his drink down slowly, his voice dropping an octave, and she felt it in her bones. “I’m not doing anything for you that I wouldn’t do for anyone I care about. But if you think this is me doing you some big favor, you’ve got it all wrong, it's just how I handle things.”
He let the words hang there for a moment, like he was giving her space to process, but the message was clear. He wasn’t some guy looking for recognition, and he wasn’t going to apologize for taking care of things in his own way.
“You’re not weak,” he continued, his voice dropping lower, more serious. “You don’t need anyone to fix things for you, but that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit back and let people treat you like shit.”
His gaze softened, his tone just a little more intense, and Y/N felt a rush of something—relief? Gratitude? Maybe a little something else she wasn’t ready to admit.
Rafe wasn’t looking for credit. He wasn’t trying to be her knight in shining armor. He was just doing what came naturally to him: protecting the people he cared about, even if it meant taking down someone who’d crossed the line.
He didn’t say more, but the quiet confidence in his words was enough to make Y/N realize that he had her back—whether she liked it or not. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.
-----
Next up: happy times
-----
Taglist:
@hockeybabe87 , @idiotussupremus , @certifiedhaters , @oatmealisweird, @sluggmuffin , @maybankslover , @ren-ni, @wh0reforbucknasty
-----
a/n :)
#obx4#obx#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x y/n#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#jj x reader
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
Checking in. I know you're planning on getting the fuck of out dodge, and I don't blame you. Unfortunately, I don't have that option. My mom keeps saying that we'll get through it. I don't quite believe it, but I get so mad at all the social media people shitting on Biden, Harris, Walz, and the Obamas for trying to reassure people that it'll be okay and not to give up. Like what do you want them to say, "You're all screwed, goodbye"? They're better people than that.
Thanks! I'm doing all right, or at least as well as can be considered under the circumstances, and hope you are as well.
I should clarify that this is not a snap decision; we have discussed the possibility of emigrating since at least 2020 and knew this election outcome would be our trigger moment. I'm well aware that I'm privileged for even being able to seriously consider this possibility, and there are a lot of people who have no option but to stay and fight it out here. And it's not that I think that fight is pointless or unwinnable--it's important, as is the hope necessary to motivate it. But for us, this begins and ends with one thing: our kids.
When my kids go to school, a voice in the back of my mind reminds me to hug them and tell them I love them, just in case someone takes a gun and opens fire on their class. My older son has already talked about studying abroad and finding a job in another country, because he doesn't want to be burdened with inescapable debt for wanting a higher education or treating an illness or accident he has no control over. My younger son would be angry if you told him that his Muslim best friend didn't have as much right to be in this country as he does. I want what every parent wants for their children--to have a good life, an even better life than mine if possible--and in the near future, that's not going to happen in the United States.
So I'm not giving up hope. I'm doing what every migrant and immigrant has done since human history began: I'm planting my hope in a new garden.
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
This lovely art from @aerequets really aligned with one of my HCs about how Yor's past will be revealed to us:
The three of them unexpectedly meet at one mission. Maybe Twilight was trying to find information, Yor was doing her mission, and Yuri was suspecting something fishy at the SSS higher ups. Or something like that
After the first commotion, which somehow resolved quickly because the three of them coorperate, Yuri aim his gun towards Twilight, full with hatred because this man bertrayed his sister. Twilight was full with guilt. And Yor felt her world crumble because the two most important men in her world were not what she think they were.
Nevertheless, Yor tried to separate them. And yet both men were so stubborn.
They were so focused into their fight that they didn't realized reinforcement came, until Yor step up in front of them and was severely injured protecting them.
Both men finally direct their anger towards the reinforcement whose goals was to eliminate any eye witness.
Fierce battle ensues, but of course our heroes managed to survive (barely, in Yor's case).
Twilight and Yuri then cooperate and rush to help the most important woman in their life.
Twilight told Yuri to find transportation, while he tried his best to stop his wife's profuse bleeding.
Yor gently held his hand, and whispered, "Don't abandon Anya..." which Twilight's responded with, "No. I will never." And in his desperation he told her that he will finally took a holiday from his job, and they will go to the apple festival at neighbour town (or any other family activity), which Yor responded with, "I'd love that."
Twilight smiled and warned his wife to take a deep breath cause his next action would hurt like hell.
And indeed it was.
The bleeding slowed down but enduring the pain was too much for weakened Yor and she passed out.
Twilight bit his lips to stop himself from crying, when he hugged and covered his wife with his jacket, whispering, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry....I'm sorry...."
Yuri came with functional vehicle and all of them rushed to medical facility.
At the hospital / hidden medical facility (maybe WISE's), Twilight was sitting, waiting with 'dead look' on his face. (For once he cannot do anything. For once all he can do was sit and wait.)
Yuri shoved a cup of hot coffee in front of his face, and said "My sister is strong. She managed to survive injury this severe back then, of course she will survive again this time."
Twilight was shocked to hear that. And we get a bit of Yor's flashback via Yuri's POV.
Little Yuri was sitting at the side of his sister's hospital bed. At that time he was told that Yor got an accident during her job/being mugged etc. And little Yuri cried his tears of joy when Yor finally opened her eyes. He took care of her. And after she finally able to stand back on her feet, Yuri studied extra hard, and got accepted at the Uni at 14 y.o.
Twilight was surprised to hear the story.
The doctor came out and tell the men that Yor has survived her surgery, and will be closely monitored at the ICU.
Just when Twilight want to see her, Handler came and asked him to finish the interrupted mission. So he went with several WISE agents.
He succeed in finishing the mission, and returned to the hospital.
Upon entering Yor's room, he saw Yuri snoring at the sofa. Anya curled at Yor's side. And his wife was sleeping with so many monitor cables, IV lines, oxygen mask attached to her.
He carefully held her hand and whispered, "Yor, please come back to us. To me."
Yor was dreaming about her past. When she was living happily during childhood, Yuri's birth, her parent's death. Her survival during her first years after her parent's death. Her meeting Garden. Her harsh training. Her first kill. (All of these will make our heart shatters without a doubt 😭💔💔)
And during her harshest days, she will always remembered her father's words, "Remember the warmth of your family. Your home."
Her father's words still echoing when Yor finally opened her eyes.
She looked around and deduced that apparently she was still alive. Especially since she can feel the warmth around her.
At the sofa, Yuri was sleeping soundly. Curled right next to her was Anya. And the one holding her hand was her husband.
She smiled, and with all the power she had at the time, she carressed her husband's hand with her thumb.
Loid jolted awake. And in his disoriented state, his eyes widen, and come close to his wife, whispered, "Yor?"
Yor rasped, "I'm..... home...."
Loid cried out of happines, and kissed her saying, "Welcome home." (And we will be bawling hard over this panel for sure 😭😭😭😭)
#spy x family#yor forger#loid forger#yuri briar#twiyor#sxf headcanon#i want to know Yor's past so bad#i also want more Yor badass moments#i also want my hurt/comfort#aaaakkkhhhh#😭😭😭#sorry#don't mind me#please carry on
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
NEED TO RANT ABT THE SURGE IN BUCKTOMMYS!! No one I know irl watches this show so this is the only place I can talk about it. I see so many people hailing the queer ship and calling the breakup biphobic/ homophobic. MIND YOU THERE'S A HAPPY LESBIAN COUPLE WITH TWO KIDS IN THE SHOW!!!
Also, they never really addressed Tommy's problematic past and when asked about it in an interview, the actor said that Tommy (at the ripe young age of his 30s) was spewing sexism as a joke!!??? And didn't realize women could do the job (I saw this in a ss on a different post, excuse me if it's not real btw). Not to mention the racism when Hen and Chim first joined the 118.
I understand there are other characters who have done bad stuff, Buck cheating, Eddie cheating, Hen cheating, Bobby with the fire, but we had whole arcs of them being apologetic and guilty about it and realizing their mistake before ultimately working to be better people!!!
Tommy's past on the other hand is never even mentioned and in this episode they're trying to frame him as a queer hero.
MIND YOU he dated Abby in like 2015-ish and led her on for months if not years.
Am I disappointed in the episode? Not a lot, I love Eddie's dance, him being able to be happy, the talk with the priest, Eddie in a tank top, Madney being pregnant, Bobby Nash just existing and Maddie being an absolute icon as always.
What I don't like is Josh's speech. I'm sure he doesn't know about Tommy's past, but this was a conscious choice from the show runners to paint Tommy as a queer hero who's been through so much. Girl.
ALSO CALLING OLIVER STARK BIPHOBIC?? HAVE YALL LOST YOUR DAMN MINDS?
BUCK HAS FUCKED BEFORE!! HE USED TO BE A SLUT!!! OR DID YOU MORONS FORGET BUCK 1.0??? HIM BEING OPEN TO EXPLORE IS THE MOST IN CHARACTER THING.
#LETBUCKFUCK
He's just a bisexual who happens to be a slut!!! He's not perpetuating the "bisexuals cheat" thing.
ANYWAY i just needed to rant idk i don't like Tommy, he's always been weird, calling Buck "Evan" when he told his PARENTS to call him Buck because everyone important to him does so. The only time Tommy does call him Buck is when he's leaving (GOOD RIDDANCE).
Not to mention, how are you dating someone for half a year and don't know they don't like basketball????
They let him go too easy idk.
Kinda off topic and delusional, but I genuinely thought Buddie would kiss when Buck shows up at his place SDFGHJKL
#911 8x06#911 spoilers#911 abc#buck bucklet#eddie diaz#tommy kinard#tommy kinard bashing#buddie#confessions
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
I saw both The Lookout (2007) and Project power (2020) within a week so I was able to catch the liddol easter egg jgl placed when his character said “you are the look out! It’s an important job!”
#cause he himself was the lookout when he was her age#and was told that it’s an important job#yes I’m normal#joseph gordon levitt#the lookout#project power
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.
(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)
but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.
(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)
there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.
(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)
you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.
(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)
you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.
in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.
but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.
they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.
it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.
#spilled ink#warm up#can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically#i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason#it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out#we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism#where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell#at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit#but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance#> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally#> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field#> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice#i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)
2K notes
·
View notes