#and understand that there are real people behind the posts you reblog. who often have to deal with a lot of dumb shit anyway.

[velvetvexations]

as an autistic trans man, sometimes I feel less safe in public presenting as a man than as a woman, because, especially in certain places, man + visibly autistic tends to be more often falsely read as "dangerous and predatory" than when people read me as a woman.

Yeah, as an autistic trans woman who doesn't pass, I feel that. <3

Honestly thank you so much for what you do on this app. I'm so glad there's people who are actually willing to stand with trans men instead of pulling the "um well I have it worse so do NOT talk about your own oppression EVER or else you're a transmisogynist!" I'm so happy I found your blog and I hope you have a great week <3

I hope you have a great week as well!

Eh a long while ago Chris Fleming made a video making fun of polyamorous people which used a lot of the same hurtful stereotypes society already perpetuates against us and I’ve not paid attention since

Noted, as someone who is also poly.

i wish the queer community didnt put so much emphasis on sexuality labels like i just want to have sex why do i need to put a word to it

very valid

about the dropout “discourse”: hot take but real life people are not representation. theyre people. real people are not queerbaiting you and real people happening to not be transfem (and I have literally seen transfems in some dropout episodes theyre just not part of the main cast) is not a lack of representation. these are real people. stop* *not you, the people being shitty about it

the complaint is not in any way coming from a genuine place tbh

hey! i just wanted to let you know how much your blog means to me as a trans guy. you and your reblogs have given me hope at trans unity, and lets me know that i-- that we-- aren't alone. so thank you for everything you do, and i greatly appreciate your support and look up to you 💛

Thank you. <3

i redownloaded etsy recently and seeing all the trans stuff saved to my favorites is so sad. i used to feel happy and proud and i wanted to be open about being transmasc. but since all the discourse got worse i just. cant bring myself to feel like it matters. it makes me feel like im trans and yet i will never matter the way other trans people do.

You do matter anon, I promise. I love you, you matter, and I'm glad you're here.

As a trans guy a lot of the self-ID'd TME transmascs weird me out so much. Like why do they all sound like "I am so strong and my power to Harm Women is immense. I could do it so much and I feel the pull to the Transmisogynist Dark Side but *unsheaths sword* I will protect them instead with my big strong testosterone arms from my fellow men" like what even is that. Who is into this.

it's so incredibly obviously bad but it reinforces some people's victim complexes so it's praxis now

a trans person will joke about their experience and a trf will jump in to assume theyre a white transmasc who has never ever faced any real difficulties for being trans

every time

Out of the many, many stupid ideas in this dumb discourse, I've finally decided the one I hate the most is that underlying implication that transmascs just aren't trans enough. It's so gross seeing people imply that we aren't really trans. Our dysphoria is minimal discomfort at most, apparently. I've seen people post about and imply that transmascs will never understand not feeling like a person or being unable to live a life pre transition and that's why we have privilege, i guess - are you kidding me? It's like our experiences are a joke to these people who are clearly so wrapped up in their online discourse bubble that they're just detached from what it's like for trans people as a whole. Sorry for the vent (would rather not post this on main and I don't have anyone to talk to) but it's just the most grating part. Also it's like. Low-key transmed shit. Thought we left that behind, c'mon.

transmeds are like ants they come back every summer

i wish TRFs had a label they proudly called themselves so i could jsut go through their tags and block them, but noooooo they HAVE to frame their transphobic bullshit as Brilliant Transfeminist Theory. like atleast radfems are fucking honest about being radfems

That's part of why I made antigonism a label for anti-TRFs to call themselves~!

[katalist]

I'm gonna be a little mask-off for this post and I apologize if it makes anyone uncomfortable, but lately I've been seeing A LOT of people tag/discuss-thru-reblogs Miraculous Characters (specifically the kids) on fetish/kink community posts lately and it's been making me wildly uncomfortable.

Ignoring the fact that you're sexualizing middle school aged characters (who yes, I'm aware are fictional, I'm still allowed to be uncomfortable by it) you do realize like, most of these original posts are ALSO made by real people who are seeing your tags/replies, right?

Outside of this blog I'm pretty active in kink spaces/communities. I understand that posts sometimes breach containment, especially tamer ones. But if someone reblogged one of my explicitly Adult ™ posts on their childrens-show-blog, tagging it with child characters from that children's show, that would probably rattle me. Maybe if you were a small blog I could block you and move on, but if you had a large following, especially if a lot of that following includes minors? It's a definite possibility that that could cause real and lasting problems for me.

I don't think anyone is meaning any ill intent, just please be conscious of what you're posting/adding to people's posts.

[do-you-know-this-adhd-character]

SUBMIT THROUGH THE FORM IN THIS POST, NOT MY ASKBOX, FOR YOUR BLORBO'S SAKE. I WILL LOSE SUBMISSIONS IF THEY AREN'T ALL IN ONE PLACE!

Hi! I've never run a poll blog before, but I like the "do you know this character" type blogs and I searched and didn't find one for ADHD characters so I decided I'd make one!

Submission Guidelines

Both canon and non-canon ADHD characters are allowed, but YOU MUST PROVIDE EVIDENCE FOR NON-CANON ADHD CHARACTERS! I completely understand just looking at a character and going "oh they have the Vibes" but it's not enough to be posted on this blog. Even just "they exhibit a lot of impulsiveness and distractability" is enough for me to go on - just give me SOMETHING to work with. However I reserve the right to not post a character if I don't think the evidence is compelling enough, i.e., if you don't list any traits that are specific to ADHD.

You may not submit real people, only fictional characters. I find it disrespectful and uncomfortable to speculate on the mental health of real people, and will not be posting those for my own comfort, even if those people will likely never see it. Also, the point of this is characters, not real people, so even people who have said they're ADHD won't be posted.

YOU MUST SUBMIT THROUGH THE FORM, NOT MY ASKBOX. I am, of course, ADHD myself, and I need all the submissions in one place or I'll lose them.

Got it? Here's the link to the form.

About the Mod/Blog

You can call me Mudkip if you'd like, or my name, Réka. She/her only please, do not use any other pronouns for me including they/them. I am an adult. I was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age and have it bad enough that I consider myself disabled. So ADHD rep is very important to me! And I'd like to both learn about ADHD rep I might not have heard of, and spread awareness of what ADHD people are like through the characters that people might not even realize are like us.

My icon is the character 707/Seven from Mystic Messenger, I chose him because although it's a bit hidden he is canonically ADHD! There's a call where he talks about how he talks to himself, and if you say "I heard people with adhd talk to themselves a lot..." he agrees with you, as well as displaying other ADHD traits through the whole game.

...is this entire blog partially part of my agenda to spread the word of canon ADHD Seven? Maybe.

Header is Zack Fair from Final Fantasy VII; he's not canonically ADHD but there's strong evidence for it and I couldn't resist using the "Me? Gongaga." meme.

I often can't resist making non-poll posts on this blog, although I swear I try. If you're just here for the polls you might want to filter the tag "not a poll"!

My main is @hungarianmudkip69 .

Tagging System, for your searching or filtering convenience

#poll - the polls. this only includes "do you know this character" polls, not any other polls I might do.

#not a poll - anything that doesn't get the above tag. Including other types of polls. You know what I mean.

#canon adhd character - polls for characters that are canonically ADHD.

#noncanon adhd character - polls for characters that aren't canonically ADHD, but have solid evidence behind the headcanon.

#poll results - a reblog of an ended poll with calculations of how many people know the character and what percentage of those people know/see the character as ADHD.

#poll reblog - any reblog of a poll that isn't poll results.

#other polls - polls from other blogs.

#blog management - anything about the running of the blog.

#ask - asks. I don't know what else to tell you.

#approval inquiry - asks asking if a character has been approved for posting.

#submission inquiry - asks asking if a character has been submitted.

this was part of the original pinned and I always like seeing this part of poll blog pinneds so I'm leaving it

I'm supposed to tag other polls for visibility, right? This was largely inspired by @who-do-i-know-this-man and @doyouknowthisdisabledcharacter as well as @do-you-know-this-queer-character !

If you want to know if someone's been posted, check below:

Polls in progress:

707/Saeyoung Choi from Mystic Messenger (canon)

Kyle Klimson from The InBESTigators (noncanon)

SpongeBob SquarePants from SpongeBob SquarePants (noncanon)

Sherlock Holmes from the original Sherlock Holmes stories (noncanon)

Evan "Buck" Buckley, from 9-1-1 (canon)

Meg Murry, from A Wrinkle in Time (noncanon)

Bokuto Koutarou, from Haikyuu!! (noncanon)

Finished polls (under the cut):

Quicksilver/Pietro Maximoff from the X-Men movies (noncanon)

Rumpleteazer from Cats the Musical (noncanon)

Bobby Drake/Iceman from DC Comics (noncanon)

Karlach Cliffgate from Baldur's Gate 3 (noncanon)

Evelyn Wang from Everything Everywhere All at Once (canon)

Osana Najimi from Komi Can't Communicate (noncanon)

Barbara Gordon/Batgirl/Oracle from DC Comics (noncanon)

Sora from Kingdom Hearts (noncanon)

Dr. Coomer from Half Life VR but the AI is Self Aware/HLVRAI (noncanon)

Johnny Gat from Saints Row (noncanon)

Bart Allen/Impulse from DC Comics (noncanon)

Michael Tate from Greater Boston (canon)

Uraraka Ochako from My Hero Academia (noncanon)

Etcetera from Cats the Musical (noncanon)

Richie Tozier from IT (noncanon)

Gary Smith from Bully/Canis Canem Edit (canon)

Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation (noncanon)

Leonardo from Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (noncanon)

Mungojerrie from Cats the Musical (noncanon)

Achilles from the Iliad (noncanon)

Tajima Yuuichirou from Ookiku Furikabutte/Oofuri/Big Windup (noncanon)

Benrey from Half Life VR but the AI is Self Aware/HLVRAI (noncanon)

Crowven Corvuson from Cemetery Mary (canon)

Martlet from Undertale Yellow (noncanon)

Zell Dincht from Final Fantasy 8 (noncanon)

Skimbleshanks from Cats the Musical (noncanon)

Goku from Dragonball (noncanon)

Yuma Tsukumo from Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal (noncanon)

Moritz Stiefel from Spring Awakening (noncanon)

Sydney 'Syd' Novak from I Am Not Okay With This (noncanon)

Yuki Takeya from Gakkou Gurashi/School-Live! (noncanon)

Annabeth Chase from the Percy Jackson series (canon)

Maria von Trapp from The Sound of Music (noncanon)

Lift from The Stormlight Archive (noncanon)

Tim Drake from DC Comics (noncanon)

Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece (noncanon)

Apollo Justice from the Ace Attorney games (noncanon)

Stella from Winx Club (noncanon)

Roy Harper from DC Comics (canon)

Michelangelo from Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (canon)

Tony Stark from the Marvel Cinematic Universe (noncanon)

Aiden Clark from School Bus Graveyard (canon)

Serpaz Helilo from Vast Error (canon)

The Doctor from Doctor Who (noncanon)

Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle (noncanon)

Leo Valdez from the Percy Jackson books (canon)

Moth Flight from Warrior Cats (canon)

Ramona Quimby from the Ramona books (noncanon)

Joey Pigza from the Joey Pigza books (canon)

Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables (noncanon)

Spinner Mason from Degrassi: The Next Generation (canon)

Lupin III from Lupin the Third (noncanon)

Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (noncanon)

George Beard and Harold Hutchins from Captain Underpants (canon)

Alex Woodroe from All the Feels (canon)

Agent Curt Mega from Spies are Forever (noncanon)

TG from Castle of Nations (canon)

Shawn Spencer from Psych (canon)

Sydney Scoville Jr. from Grrl Power (canon)

Marinette Dupain-Cheng from Miraculous Ladybug (noncanon)

Zagreus from Hades (noncanon)

Sherlock Holmes from Sherlock & Co. (canon)

Ash Ketchum from Pokémon (noncanon)

Misfire from Transformers (canon)

Herlock Sholmes from The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles (noncanon)

Christine Canigula from Be More Chill (canon)

Aubrey Little from The Adventure Zone: Amnesty (canon)

Lt. Columbo from Columbo (noncanon)

Billie from Billie Bust Up (canon)

Wei Wuxian from Mo Dao Zu Shi (noncanon)

Jimmy Casket from VenturianTale (noncanon)

Sara Eriksson from Young Royals (canon)

Magnus Burnsides from The Adventure Zone: Balance (noncanon)

Scout from Team Fortress 2 (noncanon)

Luz Noceda from The Owl House (canon)

Zack Fair from Final Fantasy VII (noncanon)

Percy Jackson from Percy Jackson and the Olympians (canon)

April Polls' Day posts, for posterity - ran polls on non-ADHD characters:

Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Zenos yae Galvus from Final Fantasy XIV

P.I.X.A.L. from Lego Ninjago

Brutus the Ducky from Real Life and also Rubber Ducky Hell (our only canonically non-ADHD poll subject)

Sophia from Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin (please play it)

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

Hello, I hope this is okay for me to send. I'm one of the blogs you blocked. (First off, this is your good right, and I completely understand and I hope this isn't a breach or invasion of privacy to send this from a different blog)

I always made sure to only tag content of Nolanverse Crane when it's really him and not any other Cillian role because I understand the frustration. And like I said, I absolutely understand that he's not a proper Scarecrow in your eyes. But it kind of hurts to get lumped into a group where I don't feel like I belong (if that makes sense)

Scarecrow in general is my favorite character in any comic related media. Arkhamverse Crane and Audio Adventures are at the top for me, and I also have a deep love for Fear State and little fan interpretations where he's just a funky little freak. My blog is Nolanverse centric atm because I just haven't gotten around to writing fics for the others. (And I'm worried I won't write them well tbh)

But all of that aside, my reason for actually sending this was because I was genuinely missing your posts and opinions on my dash. I was honestly a little worried that I didn't see anything from you before I realized what happened.

This isn't me being angry or petty and please don't think I feel entitled to seeing your posts (I don't want to be THAT person)

I guess this is just me saying goodbye to a pillar of the Scarecrow fandom, and it makes me a little sad

From the bottom of my heart, I hope your mom's recovery goes well and you have a great rest of the day/week/month. And a happy early birthday, Moffy

(ALSO SORRY FOR THIS ESSAY OMG)

A couple of things </3

I THINK I knew who this is. I blocked one person after I made that post. Looking back, that was probably a stupid mistake. I'mma unblock to check when I post this, and you let me know? (I was thinking....oh god I'm gonna get hate from the fangirls and taht legit clouded my judgement. I still fear anon hate)

See, that post was mainly about people I blocked weeks/months ago. I often only block the fangirls, for lack of a better word. I actually made the Cillian post on a whim. I needed some content for the day. (you probably know I upload daily) And sometimes, a little anger is okay. it's a valid emotion. Again, the people I block are more fans of the actor than the character. My main complaint was seeing Cillian stuff, which was not from the movies, in the tag. It just sorta....clogs it up?

Anyway, I can clearly see you're not one of them. If some reason , within the next ten minutes, you're still blocked. Send me the url. I am human. I understand. Mistakes and stupid shit happens. (especially with all I am dealing with irl) (I've been so stressed I think it clouds my brain)

You clearly love the character behind the actor, and I respect that. I think you may have been following me, cus my count went down after I blocked ya. So yeah, I did think that was WEIRD.

I'm sorry if you felt lumped it, it was just an error on my part. I hope you can forgive that.

and ya know, just because I'm not a fan of nolancrane, doesn't mean it's bad. I should reiterate, it brought so many into the fandom. That's great! I still reblog fan content of him. I suppose, the truth of the matter is my autistic brain doesn't do "live action" -- I can't think of one human who could play Jonathan Crane to my expectations. Voice actors yes, Dino Andrade forever lmao

But I just...live of art/comic/animation/games

and anything else feels uncanny. Like now. I dont imagine Crane as a real person. I have no image inside my head unless it's a comic illustration or game render. I Hoooope that makes sense

[alpacahat67]

Idia Shroud is Autistic-Coded; Here's Why

Hello! Happy Autism Awareness Month! In celebration, I will be posting a wholeeee load of autistic traits I have found in Idia. This is coming from a person who, while undiagnosed, is most likely autistic.

If you have any additions, please tell me in whatever way is most convenient (comments, reblogs, asks, dms... whatever.) This list will likely be evergrowing as more events, vignettes, and story content are added to TWST. Some of these may be a stretch but ya know.

This is organized by trait for your (and my) convenience. Begins under cut!

*Warning, I am not a medical professional. I'm just autistic and for a while got fixated on autism itself. Which is why I call myself autistic... I've been researching this shit for many years lol

We'll be starting with DSM-5 requirements in order to be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Then, we will move to common experiences (things that most autistic people experience, but aren't a tell-tale sign that you're autistic and aren't a requirement for a professional diagnosis.) Finally will be disorders that Idia shows symptoms of that tend to co-occur with ASD.

Numbered list will explain the traits Idia demonstrates. At the end, the diagnostic criteria specified will be stated in parentheses and quotation marks.

A) Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts...

Generally, Idia is seen to have trouble communicating with his peers if not behind a screen or while interacting with something he enjoys (such as talking about anime or playing a board game.) ("Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation...")

Idia's way of expressing emotion is difficult to pin down. He will go from speaking very quietly (and stuttering usually) in a near-monotone voice with an "emotionless" expression to talking loudly, quickly, and with a HUGE smile on his face. We don't quite get to see how he responds to nonverbal communication or how he portrays it himself (probably because it doesn't come up, or because of live2d restrictions), but we do learn that he hates eye contact I believe in his Birthday Boy vignette when he claims to hate having to laugh and make eye contact with normies (masking right there buddy go to a doctor) ("Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.")

This is where it could kinda get stretchy, partially because I for the life of me am having trouble understanding A.3. BUT. Idia is often very blunt, to the point where he's straight up rude, especially in situations where that kind of attitude is... not very helpful. See the Phantom Bride event when he chastises the boys coming to rescue him for looking disheveled after fighting for their lives, which makes them not want to rescue him despite his life being on the line (I think Ace even goes off on him for this lol.) Furthermore, the only people amongst his peers that he will indulge are Azul, Ortho and (unknowingly, and only online) Lilia. The rest he has zero interest in, whether he despises or is scared of them. They're all normies. Finally, it's shown that throughout his life he has had very little if not zero friends in real life aside from Ortho. To be fair, I don't think there were many kids his age back home lol. ("Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.")

Part one of an autism diagnosis down! Idia shows persistent deficits in each social and communication area specified through A.1-A.3. In order to be diagnosed, you also much show two out of four of restricted, repetitive behaviors specified through B.1-B.4 below.

B) Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at least two of the following, currently or by history...

Due to live2d restrictions, we never exactly get to see Idia physically stim. (Well, I'd argue we get to see Floyd physically stim with his constant swaying back and forth, but not like they can flap their hands or anything.) This one's a stretch, but his form of verbal stimming could be the little sound effects he makes at times, mostly in book 6 actually. Specifically, his "DA DA DA DAAAAA" after explaining the plot of Star Rogue to the overblot victims in Styx as well as his "BOOM BADA BOOM BOOM BOOM! HAH!" after finishing Ortho in the flashback sequence. Other than that, the only other ideas I'd have for repetitive movements or sounds are headcanons. I don't know if I'd count this one. ("Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech")

This is another one I don't think we ever see in-game. I don't know... the things I could consider part of this criteria would better fit as sensory things~! Again I'm an Idia connoisseur but if you know anything about this please tell me I will update this one. ("Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior")

Idia is shown to have MULTIPLE very strong interests. Whether this might be a special interest or hyperfixation... it's hard to tell, but I can sure guess. The longest-running interest we see him show to have, originating from way back when Ortho was still alive, is Star Rogue. Because he seems to know nearly everything about the game and has also maintained the interest for a long time, I would consider this a special interest (along with engineering and technomancy, which he's said to have excelled in since a young age.) Idia does talk about certain specific animes and other games he enjoys, but not to the degree of Star Rogue (yes that's my basis here), so I don't know if that's a special interest or just a hyperfixation. It's the same situation with idol groups, particularly Premo (or Fates on the Edge). This isn't even it. That man is fandom trash and I love him. ("Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus")

Idia is shown on multiple occasions to have sensory issues. To the point where, similarly to his strong interests, I don't know if I know half of it. During the Phantom Bride event and his Union Birthday vignette, Idia complains about his neck feeling cold due to his hair being brushed behind his hair (PB) or up in a ponytail (UB). He also complains about his Phantom Bride suit AND his Birthday Boy suit being "stuffy", but that one could also be a stretch. In the Harveston event, Idia says that he only eats his apples canned or peeled, which I'd chop up to sensory issues once again. (Although, that one could also be under B.2) Idia constantly has his headphones around his neck to listen to music. A bit of a stretch, but they're also noise canceling, so there's a chance he uses them to avoid overstimulation. Finally, Idia states that he doesn't like fish because it's smelly and slimy. I get that Idia raw fish is texture hell. As far as I know, there's no point in which Idia under-reacts to sensory input (e.g. pain) or becomes very invested in it (like staring at a moving wheel.) ("Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment")

And there we have it. Autism diagnosis. Idia demonstrates persistent deficits in all three sections under A and at least two sections under B. BUT WAIT! We still have C-E!

C) Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life).

Really, the only point in which we see Idia demonstrate autistic traits in early life is his interest in Star Rogue. This is probably just because of how the storyline is. We actually don't know very much about Idia OR Ortho when they were young. However I would argue that Idia does mask because of the multiple times where he immediately just gets upset prior to talking to someone (something he probably hides during conversation). And ofc that one time he complains about talking to normies in his Birthday Boy vignette (? it could've be a voice line.)

D) Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

Idia's symptoms in fact significantly impair his life. I think that alone is obvious enough. We see it every time that man's on screen.

E) These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental disorder) or global developmental delay...

Symptoms that Idia experiences could very well be explained by other mental disorders such as social anxiety, but these are not intellectual disabilities. Explaining away ASD for Idia falls into a trap many autistic people do in real life with medical professionals who just can't believe that their patient is autistic for one reason or another; these people will sometimes receive a dozen different diagnoses that all could be better explained by autism spectrum disorder. That's not very cool. Therefore, this does not apply.

Specifically, Idia would likely have ASD co-morbid with social anxiety and most likely clinical depression. (I HAVE done some minor research into Idia and bipolar disorder, but that's a situation for another day and far more of a stretch than ASD ever could be.)

DSM-5 requirements cleared! Next stage, common experiences.

This is another thing I will need help for because it's not like there's scholarly articles on "things a lot of autistic people experience but it's definitely not something a doctor will ask you about." So please share. This is the list that will never stop growing.

Abnormal posture (Crewel gets onto Idia for not standing up straight, he often is portrayed sitting in chairs with his knees to his chest, and he's seen doing "dino hands" or "T-Rex arms" in battle mode on occasion.)

Target of bullying (Many autistic people, especially autistic girls, tend to be bullied more often than their allistic peers. While not always to his face, people do tend to talk bad about Idia behind his back, Ortho even has a 'Don't Talk Shit About My Brother' beam for the bullies lol.)

More tone + social stuff... (Things that the DSM-5 thing didn't quite fit. In book 6 he jokes about torturing the overblots and when everyone's like 'dude wtf' he's like 'what it was a joke dumbass.' Could be written off as just an odd sense of humor, or it could be difficulty reading the room lol.)

A love for lists and organization. (When Idia speaks autonomously in your guest room, he mentions having things exactly where you need them and how it's 'convenience'. He also seems to have a knack for practicality. It's not too much of a stretch to say it ties into a need for organization.) (Idia has every NRC student organized into multiple tier lists on the R-SSR rating system like the in-game cards based on certain factors, such as most social.)

Easily startled. (Self-explanatory. HieEh.)

Preference for connection through interests. (Another reason why he is disconnected from those around him, aside from the whole trauma thing, and calls most other people "normies." They don't "get" his interests, so he has no interest in being friends with them.)

Difficulty with processing time. (Remember when he had apparently been working on Ortho's uhhh starsender gear? For like 12 hours straight?"

Relaxes through interacting with interests (In the vignette I referenced in 7, when Ortho tells him to take a break, he decides to play Star Rogue. Ortho meant to sleep.)

Putting off needs until one can not longer ignore them. (Idia often gets so engrossed in what he's doing that he forgets to do basic self-care tasks like eating.)

Infodumping. (Shown a lot in book 6. Namely with his like 2-3 minute long rant about Star Rogue. The rest, such as him rambling on and on about Styx, seems to be used so the audience knows what the HELL is happening. He does go on rants outside of this book tho.)

Gifted kid (Yeah he was called a "boy genius.")

This is not a complete list by any means, I could go on for DAYS.

On the topic of co-occurring disorders, the two most obvious disorders Idia clearly is dealing with are social anxiety and depression. Both of which are often co-morbid with ASD.

While social anxiety and ASD have a lot of overlap, they aren't the same thing, but often autism can contribute to the development of social anxiety through masking and the general difficulties in socializing that come with autism. Allistic people tend to react negatively in response to an autistic person doing something that the allistic person deems unorthodox. This reaction can often cause a lot of internal turmoil for the autistic person due to rejection-sensitive dysphoria. Furthermore, masking requires a high level of awareness of one's environment as well as the judgment of others. Thus, social anxiety can often develop.

While I don't know how exactly autism might affect depression as it does social anxiety, I do know that depression is VERY common in autistic adults. 5 in 10 adults with ASD have depression, and living in a world built for those who are neurotypical is hard for anyone who is neurodivergent, which definitely does not help. And it sure as hell has to make it worse for Idia of all people.

Additions made by others (tysm!): @hey-haven mentions in a reblog Idia's low empathy towards other people. I recommend heading over to their blog to check out what they said because they do make an amazing point and it's probably far better than anything I could explain (lol). But to paraphrase, they cite specifically Idia making fun of his classmates who just fought for their lives to rescue him during the Phantom Bride event and his attitude towards the overblot victims and their reactions to being essentially kidnapped during book 6, in which he seems to not really "get" why they're so upset. Generally, when it surrounds emotions that aren't his own, he's pretty oblivious. They also bring up his little "whee-hee-hee" laugh! It brings up an observation I've seen of autistic people (seemingly) laughing at "random" or generally inappropriate times because we tend to express laughter in a voiced manner (like laughing out loud because you find something genuinely funny) rather than an unvoiced manner (like the little exhale you do at a funny photo on your phone). Idia laughs a lot, I don't know if it's realistic to connect it to autism or if it's better explained by him just being a weird guy (which I love about him don't get me wrong lol.) Although the study about this was with specifically autistic and non-autistic children though... it's food for thought I guess.

And with that, my essay comes to a close. Again, happy Autism Awareness Month! Share some of your favorite autistic, canon or otherwise, characters and boost autistic creators! And remember to not support Autism Speaks :)

Thank you for listening.

-Alpaca (autistic Idia Shroud enthusiast)

P.S. this post is so long that it's making my PC lag LMAOOOO

[even-more-pro-fiction-jellicle]

One of the most baffling things I've seen was a person literally not shipping the popular ship (let's call it A/B) and they simply just reblogged some gen/non-shippy art from some A/B shippers and got so much hate for it in their inbox that they decided to create a DNI just to put antis in it.

Also there is another thing I don't get. I've seen one person having a DNI for not just shippers, but for people who while are not being shippers, don't want to pick sides and being friends with shippers/simply talk to shippers, even it's just about non-shippy stuff, instead of picking fights with them. Like can't they just enjoy the fandom in peace?

I didn't see these happen too often, but it's still odd, how some people just want others to distance themselves from other people completely, even if they don't care about the ship, just the gen stuff/the person behind it, or they want them to fight with them to... I dunno bully them out of this site? What is this? The "If you are not with us, you are against us?" mentality?

Guilt by association is a very real thing with antis and it really is an "us vs them" mentality. Antis don't want you to interact with anyone but antis. I've seen things like this in my fandom too, people with no label getting "concerned" asks from antis when they see them reblogging or interacting with the "wrong" people. The pro-shippers never tell anyone who they're allowed to interact with, it's a purely anti-shipper thing, at least in my circles. Neutral or label-less people get blacklisted, put on call-out posts, kicked from communities/works, just for not being antis.

I don't understand it but this really is how people like this choose to engage in fandom. It's not about enjoyment, it's about control and being a "moralizing force". I know of a few antis who have admitted they enjoy being mean and getting into fights.

[tigerlyla-of-metinna]

It was always only Cirvran, Cyrus, Iornon, someone else… And I made my pictures, and waited and waited for some good people to notice vernilla…but people came only to laugh and insult. They gave me false hope instead of real interest or help with the ship. Nobody is interested in writing about VC. Nobody is interested in drawing VC. No one is interested in praising VC and reblogs. You too.

When a new drawing with a cirvran or ceris appears, it’s boom. When a new drawing from the CC appears, no one except the haters on reddit cares…

No one cares how much time and effort I spent on a screenshot or how much money on an unfortunate commission (which I often struggle with finances)…. It’s not a popular ship, which means it’s not worth your attention.

When a new drawing with the VC appeared, I wanted to rejoice with you and others in my joy. You didn't appreciate it. Instead, you supported a fanfic about the murder of the VC, making me understand where the place for this ship is.

Before I answer this essay. I'll answer the 2nd shorter message you sent me.:

First, talk to a therapist/counselor. Or a friend (Sol isn't a friend, have you seen what that person wrote behind your back?) that you've not pissed off with your years worth of harassing spams. This, is also spam: just worded differently but still the same. This is the reason why you are infamous: the anon spam, the force-feeding of your RocheCiri ship to not only those who pair Ciri or Roche with anyone else, but monkey-branching the ship to unrelated fandoms.

"Nobody is interested in drawing VC. No one is interested in praising VC and reblogs. You too."

Excuse me? Nobody? There are fanarts posted on your IG, and here on tumblr about VC, others who made screenshots of VC, an ai of Vernilla, and even mentioned you as inspiration. People here even reblogged your screenshots, including me! stories have been written when you requested from the right people. It's not hard to look. You had notes that exceeded twenty!

But you did not appreciate these fine folks who did this for you. You choose to ignore the support. It's always Freaky Friday with you: You lavish attention to the dislikes and neglected your supporters. All you notice are those who don't like the rareship. All you talk/air about are those who hate RocheCiri, envy at other pairings. As for those who did show support, you attacked them for having and liking other ships, deface their art, and harrassed them -and their followers- with spam!

Change your focus! Look at the supporters, if there is still some left after how you've been treating and ignoring them lately. Go back to your old posts and see the notes and reblogs! Learn to show appreciation!

When a new drawing from the CC appears, no one except the haters on reddit cares…

....Big mistake: reddit is nuclear toxic than this hellsite. You had a bad, nay, terrible experience on reddit and decided to drag even your supporters along with them. I do not post my Cirivran shots because I know I will get roasted. I posted my fanart of Cirivran and it got a good roasting. Also, responding to hate with aggression, especially on reddit, will bite you in the ass.

here are the curated response I got when posting my Heirs of Nilfgaard:

Cirivran or Ciri x Morvran isn't for everyone, just as Roche x Ciri isn't for everyone. But that is ok. You can't force those who don't like it to like it. I cannot force Roche x Ves, Roche x Iorveth, Ciri x Cerys to accept my ship. Respect differences of opinions and you will get along with the multishippers and your little rarepair will sail smoothly with others.

Do you see me rant and rave about how there are those who hate this ship? I focus on the support, not the hate.

Shipping isn't a pageantry or a popularity contest. I do not ship Cirivran to be popular. I help Cirivran EXIST by making art, editing shots, writing snippets and supporting those who write them.

Same with an even rarepair CirixRegis or Ciregis. I contribute to it's existence (not popularity), by sharing pics. Another rarepair that has not left the shores yet is Ceskel (CerysxEskel), and one of this days, I will put this into the fandom seas!

I did my part with Roche Ciri by sharing it on IG, linking your tumblr accounts and reblogging. I would've made a Roche fanart (I had Roche wearing Nilf colors based on your shots in the works for 2023). I would even do it for free! But what do I get for my support? SPAM HATE for MY SHIP and personal insults!

I do not reward nasty behavior!

"No one cares. No one appreciates. No one is interested."

These are all over every spam you sent. The antagonizing. The gaslighting. You need help. Professional help. Get off the fandom, off social media, off the world wide web. Go take a vacation, see some sights, explore other mediums.

TLDR:

Stop the spam. Notice AND appreciate your supporters instead. Take a break. And get off Reddit! STOP. THE. SPAM.

Until you get yourself sorted out, I will no longer respond to anything you send, and dump them straight to the bin.

[halfricanloveyou]

Hello there! My large Gaza family is filled with love and warmth, and losing them is a tremendous loss. I appreciate your efforts and time in reading my plea. I never expected to find myself in this situation.It is incredibly challenging to navigate these circumstances as an independent woman proud of her financial independence, finding herself in this dire situation.I understand the value of every donation and the effort behind it. I assure you that all funds will be strictly used for the evacuation of my sisters and my parents. I will personally bear any additional expenses incurred.Your support will make a significant difference in alleviating the suffering of my family and ensuring that my sisters and my parents receive the care they urgently need. As time ticking away translates to lives lost in Gaza I'm here and ready to answer any questions or concerns you may have. Don't hesitate to reach out and connect with me

hey guys, this is a SCAM. please be aware and watch out for people claiming to be palestinian refugees sending in asks. red flags to look out for:

- repetition. i’ve received at least 3-4 asks using the exact same message and wording over the course of a few days

- age of the account. this account most likely was created YESTERDAY. there are 5 posts total and they were all reblogged yesterday.

- follower count ratio to number of things reblogged. sometimes these fake accounts will have their following count visible. you usually see them following thousands of people, but their blog itself only has a handful of reblogged things on it.

- what they reblog. usually it’s something related to what they’re asking about or a random popular post with thousands of notes. they typically don’t reblog posts with less than 1k notes on them.

nowadays the bots have gotten a little smarter in that they use photos instead of just having blank blogs. remember that tumblr is RAMPANT with people who lie about things to get people to donate to them. make sure before you donate to someone individually that they are

a) a real person and not a bot, and someone can vouch for them

b) not in fact someone pretending to need help. other palestinian ran blogs often vouch for each other. there are running lists circulating of actual palestinians in need of aid with proof. giving is wonderful but when it comes to doing so online you need to be extremely cautious. they can steal your payment info and end up costing you thousands of dollars.

[fierceawakening]

I was just thinking about this, and it dawned on me that this reminds me of old school ally discourse and how it fell apart. Pretty much exactly.

Like someone would say, “hey white people, if you care about oppression you need to be an ally to poc!” And everyone would be like, “that sounds super reasonable! I agree that systemic racism exists, is bad, and needs to go away. I’ve got your back.”

All cool. But since no one ever DEFINED what an ally is, or told the white people how and when it’s okay to ignore a particular pressing issue because they’re tired, on vacation, or straight up triggered by explicit footage of violence, you got a lot of this:

“Oh man, I hate allies! The idea was they’re supposed to stand behind us, but Issue is super important to me and no one even half a shade paler than me showed up to the protest/reblogged my PSA/sent me an ask asking if I’m having a rough time. Allies are worthless.”

But notice what is actually happening here!

By which I mean: I can understand both people. Change identity labels and I’ve literally BEEN each of them.

The person who wants to be an ally but doesn’t reblog everything is fine. They’re human. They have their own life to live and are never going to be able to show up to every action or boost every post. They never promised they would. All they agreed with is “it’s bad when people who aren’t me are treated badly. I see that this is happening and visibly assert that I Disapprove.”

The person who feels shafted is… also fine? They hoped that their friend’s Official Disapproval would ease some of their pain. But it also unfortunately made it really obvious when the friend wasn’t there for them, because it created an expectation in them that the friend would be. Their pain is real! Their disillusionment is most likely a distortion, but it’s a very understandable one.

What happened here?

As far as I can tell, what happened is that no one defined ally.

There was no standard to live up to. So the ally thought “oh I don’t have to take this one on, somebody else has got it.”

But there WAS a standard in the mind of the person who wanted allies. The whole reason they asked for allies was BECAUSE they felt unsupported and unable to attain their goal on their own.

Which is why I have a problem with those posts.

It’s not that I don’t think people with NPD and ASPD are lonely. It’s pretty clear even from the most “those people are MONSTEEEEEEERS” accounts of what’s going on that the bad behavior is happening as a result of very deep seated psychic pain that’s so intolerable they are willing to hurt others to soothe it, manipulate them to keep others around, etc.

That’s sad!

But if someone is willing to hurt me to get what they need to ease their loneliness, that isn’t good! That’s unacceptable. That’s something I should categorically have the right to say no to and walk away from.

Which leaves us at a really vague concept of “support” that no one ever actually discusses at length, and thus gets used as ally often does. “You didn’t do enough.”

[philsmeatylegss]

Honestly I can’t keep quiet at this point. This generation and tiktok mostly made autism a fucking quirky trend and it makes me want to slam my head in a wall. I genuinely believe 70% of people online who claim to be autistic are not or either are confusing it with another disorder (on tiktok it’s 95% I’m not remotely exaggerating). iT’s A sPeCtRuM NO SHIT DUMBASS. I fucking grew up with an autistic sibling and I was constantly in other places with autistic kids who were higher and lower on the fucking spectrum. But none of them act remotely like the fuckers on #actuallyautistic on fucking TikTok. Controversial opinion I completely stand behind is that self diagnosis isn’t reliable expect for a few conditions. By that, I mean conditions that have clear cut symptoms. You’re always anxious about everything, you probably do have anxiety. But when it comes to Autism, that’s such a fucking complex disorder that even a lot of doctors don’t fully understand. 100% agree that many women, POC, and those who grew up poor couldn’t get a diagnosis and got it later in life. As I said, I was constantly around autistic kids and most were white men. It’s an absolute mockery and disgrace to those online and in real life who actually suffer with Autism. Including people on the high end of the spectrum! Most of these people say they’re autistic and then list the symptoms of anxiety. It’s not a fucking quirky trait or an excuse. It’s not fucking trendy.

And I can’t say anything like this on platforms like tiktok or id be ripped to shreds. People who have little to no real life experiences or knowledge about Autism attacking someone who was always so close to autism that it fucked me up (I know it’s not my sibling’s fault before you yell at me). I’m fucking tired of it. I’m so fucking tired

Very recently the term “glass child” came out which describes siblings of a child with a physical and or mental disability and or a chronic/life threatening illness. The term comes from the fact that a constant feature of being a glass child is being seen through, forgotten, our voices ignored. And when we, people who have had close years of interactions with these disorders try to explain to you why you might be wrong and you just fucking shut them down, you’re just as bad as the people who ignored me when I was growing up.

It happens on here to. Definitely not as often and definitely not as obvious. But I fucking hate that it’s become a fucking trend on here. Yes, I know it’s a way for those with autism to cope, but a lot of people reblogging it are neurotypical. I’m glad it’s a way to cope, but autism isn’t a fucking funny punchline. It is half of the reason I’m fucked up (once again, I don’t blame my sibling).

Remember in 2020 on mostly tiktok and other face showing platforms being LGBTQ+ was a trend and now people say “I’m glad I’m over that phase?” The same fucking thing is happening now with autism. And what’s worse is that it undermines the credibility of those who are actually suffering with autism. I can promise you in the next few years, there will be tons of posts like “remember when I thought I was autistic? Lol worst period of my life, so cringe.” And then it’ll fall back into obscurity once it stops being a trend and when people forget about pretending to be autistic and no one will give a fuck. It happened with fangirl culture. With being LGBTQ+. Only this is more important and not a fucking trend

Idk if I’ll get hate for this or delete it, but I can’t handle it anymore. This really mostly applies to tiktok, but this happens on every single platform. And it genuinely upsets me and I can’t even point out this problem. For fucking once in my life, LISTEN TO ME. I’ve been there. I was there the whole fucking time. I spent my entire childhood dealing with autism and severe mental illness from my parents. I went to so many doctors with him. I couldn’t chose where I wanted my birthday or celebrations about me because it wouldn’t be good for my sibling. Pictures, lines, family trip were filled with screaming. Leaving events early because my sibling couldn’t handle it. Sitting and waiting for him to stop having a tantrum in my room and having fucking no one ask if I was okay. Having none of my emotional needs met do to Autism and other present mental illnesses from my parents. I KNOW WHAT AUTISM IS LIKE. I SPENT EVERY FUCKING DAY SINCE I WAS BORN TILL I WAS 18 RIGHT NEXT TO AUTISM. I DIDN’T GET A BREAK. I WON’T BE ABLE TO LAUGH IN A FEW YEARS BECAUSE I CLAIMED TO BE AUTISTIC. I’M NOT SURE MY BROTHER WILL BE ABLE TO LIVE ON HIS OWN AND HE’L HAVE TO FUCKING LIVE WITH ME. THAT’S THE FUCKING REALITY. THAT’S WHAT AUTISM IS. IT’S NOT BEING AWKWARD AND SOMETIMES OVERWHELMED BY OBJECTS OR SOUNDS. I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE I WAS THERE. I HAVE 18 FUCKING YEARS OF UNDERSTANDING WHAT AUTISM IS. I’VE BEEN AROUND MANY OTHER AUTISTIC PEOPLE WHEN MY BROTHER NEEDED SERVICES FROM AUTISTIC ONLY PLACES. I COULDN’T FUCKING YAWN FOR YEARS WITHOUT BEING SCREAMED AT. FUCKING YAWNING. AND THEN I WAS ASKED TO STOP YAWNING! THAT IS AUTISM.

My mom works with teens and young adults who are close to the bottom of the spectrum. These children will never be able to have a life. A lot of them don’t talk. Or they only scream or say random words. Some do repetitive actions, often ones that cause injuries. Bigger male student have to be restrained by two or three men because they will not stop hitting themself of breaking property and are unable to stop. That’s what it’s like. At most, Walmart has a program for special needs adults to be baggers. Once they graduate, they live with their parents and then their siblings. Or they go to care home that specializes in autism. We’re fortunate that if it were to come to that case, we would be able to afford a nice one. But most parents or siblings of autistic children don’t have the money to send them to caring facilities. That’s the reality. That’s what you’re claiming to have the same diagnosis as (I KNOW ITS A SPECTRUM). I pity the real autistic people and glass children on platforms on tiktok or really any platform that are having the severity of their illness become a fucking trend.

I’ll probably delete this. But I’m just so fucking upset about it and I’m not fucking allowed to point it out. I wasn’t listened to my entire childhood because of a condition you’re claiming to have. Just for fucking once listen to me

[demonsfate]

munday topics ! // accepting // @electricea asked . . . 6, 7 and 8

6. excessive ooc

Honestly... for the MOOOST part, I don't care about "excessive ooc". even though I tend to worry that I post too much ooc LOL. yes, ppl can have "personal blogs" to post ooc stuff to but like. I just understand that behind the muses, there is a real person with real feelings who might wanna share lil details of their lives. Especially when they have more followers on their rp blogs who are more likely to listen & respond than their personal blog does.

There are a couple scenarios where I will draw the line. That being if there is just no in character content. Like they've been logging on every day for weeks just to make several ooc posts and nothing more. Then I may unfollow just because, at that point, I question if I'll ever be able to actually write with them because they're not giving any ic stuff lol. Or when like they just SPAM the dash with reblogs that have NOTHING to do with their muses. I'm not saying musings or aesthetics posts - because those still pertain to the muse. I'm saying when they reblog stuff from other fandoms that have zilch to do with their blog. For example, it'd be like if I were to start reblogging lots of Death Note, lots of Supernatural, and lots of Bluey despite the fact that my blog is Tekken lol. Now that I find annoying bc I'm wondering really WHY can't you use a personal for that? Of course, ppl are always free to do what they want with their blogs - but that's one thing I don't get.

7. DNIs in rules

I'm like what you were saying, I will follow them if it's somebody I know I'm not gonna end up writing with anyone due to different fandoms or having never followed each other. Or if like, they have concrete proof that this person is to be avoided. But liiiiike... when ppl just drop a username in a DNI and has no other available information... I just can't help but wonder if that person did anything or if it was a personal spat between the two muns. Especially because I've been a personal "victim" of ppl telling their mutuals to not interact with me, that I should just delete, and saying just horrible untrue garbage about me. All because I wrote with sb they didn't like. (Though they were also infamous about pretending to be somebody's friend, then dropping them and suddenly acting like they're the Worst Person Ever with no actual evidence)

I understand if muns wanna set boundaries even if they simply don't like the other person, or they had a personal drift or whatever. But like... I'm gonna be honest, there are def ppl in the RPC that I don't care to see on my dashboard. But I don't think I'll ever have a DNI. I just use X-Kit, X-Kit Rewritten, and the Tumblr block feature to avoid them. Which yes, sometimes they might still "slip through" but like... if I just see them once in a blue moon, it's not gonna matter much to me. And this even applied to those who bullied me as I mentioned above.

So yeah, I do try to follow DNIs if it's one of my mutual, but I do often question the validity (sorry but with the past, I can't help but to) and well... I also have to apologize if I end up writing with sb in a "DNI" because I swear it feels like more and more ppl are having DNI lists now and it's like... when you're following nearly 200 people, it's probs hard to remember who's in a DNI and who's not, y'know? But like I also said, usually those in DNI lists tend to be in different fandoms than I am, anyway.

8. reblog karma

I don't follow it. I mean, of course, I'll always reblog posts from the source & send people in one (WHEN it's applicable. Obvs I'm not gonna send a smut / ship meme to somebody who my muse has no relation with) But like... people rarely follow reblog karma so I just see little point in enforcing it lol. Like even IF somebody does reblog from the source, you can always tell they reblogged it from you without sending you one. And honestly? I don't get wtf people even do that for when it comes to munday asks or headcanon asks. Like why? There is literally zero excuse for it. Shy? Send it through anon. It doesn't fit your character? It doesn't have to because it's just asking my character / or the mun a question. Like literally. That shit actually annoys me but again. What can you do? I'm not gonna demand ppl ... but I still never understand it.

And I understand some ppl say it clogs up the activity if it's reblogged straight from them. But honestly... I've just never had that problem before lmao. Like I've had personal blogs reblog memes I've made and those memes can get up to 20+ notes, and it still never bothers me. (Especially when a lotta times in Modern Tumblr Age, notifs for a single post tends to become one block)

I could actually complain more about this but uhhhh. I think I'll leave it at that. djfndjsf

[blossom-hwa]

Happy 5 Anniversary 🎉🎉🎉 for the drabble game Eric + lifeguard au

thank you for the request! I often see you in my notifications with your reblogs, so thank you for all the support as well :) I hope you enjoy this!

5 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/TXT/Golden Child/Ateez/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

(let it be known that I’m not familiar with lifeguarding at all... I just kinda searched up lifeguard horror stories and came up with this. apologies if it isn’t accurate!)

REQUESTS OPEN!!

~

Title: Lifeguarding Nightmares

Pairing: Eric x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 692

Warnings: mentions of drowning, cursing

~

By the time you get off your shift, you think you might be seeing red, and not in a good way. You ignore Juyeon’s concerned look as you exchange places with him on the lifeguard chair and set off across the pool deck, slamming the door to the office open then shut behind you. 

“Woah, woah!” Someone grabs you by the shoulders and you nearly flip out right then and there before you realize it’s Eric, just Eric. A bit of rage drains out of you just at the warmth of his touch, of the concerned look he’s leveling at you. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

Your words come out more like a screech and a sob rather than actually words. “I fucking hate this job!”

In silence, Eric wipes away the tears you didn’t even notice had begun flowing down your cheeks and sits you down in the hidden corner you all use for mental breakdowns. “Tell me about it.”

Between an angry mess of tears and whispered rage and sobs, you tell your boyfriend about the terrible day you’ve just had. Two kids pretending to drown. A third kid who was actually drowning whose parents were only found after you rescued her, chilling with stupid snacks at the stupid concessions stands. More kids running around the deck, more parents asking why their too-short children couldn’t go on the slide, someone vomiting on the deck...

“Okay, I don’t hate this job,” you say when you’ve finally calmed down, Eric still studiously wiping a few last tears from your face. “It’s fine. But holy shit, today was just...” You trail off, too tired to come up with the words to describe it. 

“I get it,” he says quietly, dabbing the last of the wetness from your eyes. “It’s okay.”

You lean your head on his shoulder, brain spent. For a minute you just sit like that, breathing in tandem, letting the headache of your day slowly begin to fade away. 

“Sorry,” you eventually mumble. “I’m just so tired. How was your day?”

“Not bad,” Eric replies, and from his voice you know he isn’t pretending - it really wasn’t bad. You huff a little sigh. At least one of you had an okay day. “I think the most interesting thing was some kid throwing a tantrum about not being tall enough to use the big slide, but his parents were reasonable about it.”

“Would it were that the adults in my section were as easily reasoned with,” you mutter. 

“Yeah.” He snorts a little laugh. “I don’t know how some of these people actually grew up.”

“God, for real.” You groan. “Sorry for crying all over you.”

“I was going to ignore the first time you apologized, but since this is the second time, I’m going to address it.” Eric pulls you up and gives you a playful stink eye. “I know you suck at thinking about yourself, but you don’t have to apologize for everything. Your day was sucky and it’s understandable that you had this reaction to it. I told you already that I’m always here to listen to you, and I mean it.” He holds up a hand as you open your mouth to speak. “And don’t you dare apologize for apologizing.”

You close your mouth, smiling sheepishly. “Oops.”

Eric grins. It makes you feel a little bit better. “Are you still feeling up to dinner tonight?” he asks. “We can stay in instead of going out, or cancel altogether.”

Your first instinct is to say no, it’s fine, we can still go out, but maybe Eric has actually instilled a bit of self-servingness in you because you think twice. While you don’t want to cancel your plans altogether, you’re not sure you feel up to eating in public with a whole bunch of other people around you. Not now, and probably not later, either. “Can we do takeout?” you ask quietly. “I’m still feeling kinda tired.”

“Sure.” He squeezes your hand. “Let’s go home, yeah? A shower will probably help you feel better.”

“Yeah.” Your smile grows a little wider, and this time, it doesn’t feel like a chore. “Thanks.”

[shrimpmandan]

Why don't people understand that there is a positively enormous rash of people demanding that everyone be a trans woman? This is a very common occurrence and deserves our utmost attention, certainly moreso than conversion therapy and any relation our rhetoric might have to it. Honestly it's just so disheartening to see people center these things instead of cisphobia. We need to go onto people's posts about their real life experiences and tell them they're wrong or overgeneralizing and that the real problem. Is cisphobic forced feminization, a very real and widespread occurrence, whereas transmisogyny obviously isn't. Folks like us have it so hard, speaking truth to power

Obviously this is meant to be bait and for as funny as it is to send an ask like this to someone who isn't cis, it does give me an opportunity to clarify on my (poorly worded) mention of conversion therapy in my own reblog.

There ARE people who will get very hostile and insistent on whether someone is trans or not. There are a lot of people who conflate gender roles/expression with gender identity. This is something I've seen happen to both cis people and trans people who I'm friends with. It's actually something I also grappled with myself, since I thought I couldn't actually be 'just a trans man' because of my inclination towards certain feminine interests and hobbies. And of course, as I briefly mentioned, one of my very close cis friends was harassed by some random trans man because of the fact that he asserted that he was himself cis, just an occasional crossdresser.

So, no, it's nothing to do with 'cisphobia'. It's how comfortable people are in trying to push an identity onto someone based off of their own personal perceptions of the world-- which is often the same line of logic behind conversion therapy. "You're not actually a trans woman, you're just a sensitive, effeminate, weak male who needs to buck up!"-- because that's how they view trans women. Insisting that gender nonconforming people must secretly be trans because that's what makes sense to you is not much better, in my opinion. The right to self-identify, and asserting that identity, still applies if the person in question is cishet. I personally find it a bit uncomfortable, how a lot of us LGBT people have gotten comfortable with pushing and prodding people about "if they're REALLY sure they're the gender/orientation they say they are", when we find being on the receiving end of that to be annoying as all hell.

And of course, I was also approaching that post thinking of 'egg cracking', not like... dumb Reddit trans memes. Those are harmless and I don't give a fuck about them. TL;DR: just reiterating what I said in that reblog: saying "it's okay to be a feminine man!!!" to a trans woman is fucked up. Saying "it's okay to be a feminine man!" in the broader context of critiquing gender roles is harmless and also just correct. If the idea of gender nonconformity is somehow a threat to your own identity and security as a trans person, then that's your own demon to grapple with. Doesn't mean that GNC cis people don't still struggle with having their identity called into question by people who champion the right to self-identity.

[nonbinaricorpse]

[TW FOR URBANSPOOK, ALONG WITH MENTIONS OF PSYCHOSIS!!!]

All right!

I wasn't expecting this to motivate me enough to actually post on my Tumblr again, considering that I haven't in years.

If anything, expect a lot of miscellaneous stuff including rambles, ideas and world building. For a bit I've just been reblogging stuff.

But now I want to talk about UrbanSpook.

I like to watch the video essays about analog horror but I'm not really deep in the community? I still like Local 58 and I hope that it uploads again one day, But a lot of the series I started to watch I quickly stopped and fell behind with each new upload.

For a bit, "The Painter" series was one that I actually kept up to date with.

I'm no longer subscribed to UrbanSpook, But surprisingly it isn't for the reason that you might think.

I deal with psychosis and as a result can often fall into delusions. Currently trying to find a medication that works, but as of right now the identity of the painter is one such attachment that I made, and why I had to abstain from the series. If anything, the controversy surrounding Corey, along with the creators behavior is what keeps me from delving back into any of their social medias or platforms. But it's because of the art and the morbid curiosity that I finally watched the most recent upload featuring camera footage of the two killers.

I'm no stranger to pushing it when it comes to what I can handle and what is safe for me, and I'm well aware that if this ends up being a bad move that I can just as quickly pull the plug and stop again.

Looking on the posts under the tag #urbanspook I'm definitely seeing two opposing sides. For all I know in discussing this I could be pissing a lot of people off.

But maybe it's not that serious, so let's get into the real meat and potatoes of why I decided to post something on this account again.

I want to try and rewrite the series. I want to be careful and make sure that I don't use any past visuals created by Slug themselves, but for the most part I'll just be spitting up some ideas. It would be nice to actually try and find a way to convert this into a series complete with twists and world building but I don't know if I would be excited enough about it to put that much effort and time in.

For this idea, anything related to it is going to fall under the new tag "RuralSlug". Basically a parallel to the initial analog horror story.

This does mean that I will have to rewatch the series as it stands so far, and better understand the inconsistencies and plot holes so that I can patch things up.

Things I want to address or rework, or remove:

-contradictions in location addresses etc

-The horse incident

-Corey

-The baby deaths

-the pets

-The involvement of the police force

-The fact that the painter knows the names of every single victim

-Who are the tapes made for, given their format?

And overall, I want to build more of a plot.

Please keep in mind that this isn't really organized, as I again, genuinely don't know if I'm going to actually piece things together and put out a cohesive story somewhere. However, if you've had your own ideas for a take on Urban's universe, you are more than welcome to use the tag for your own thoughts and musings.

[landofourwins]

Should I come clean?

Though there is a peculiar romantic twist to this anonymity, isn’t there? I think that showing my real façade would stop the tingling feeling (I am writing this while kicking my feet and giggling hehe)

No but for real, recently I have been a bit disappointed by someone. They said they agreed with my opinions and then they started reblogging posts of hate against Lando and Carlos and other drivers that I like.

So now I am being a bit wary (not your fault ofc, sorry for projecting my insecurities).

I do not like to post hate on anybody, even if I don’t like them, even in my last post I just said what I see, but I do not hate Charles. I just think that for me, personally, he does not make me feel anything and that he is goaded way too much by media but I can completely understand that some people don’t feel the same.

Problem is, lecfosis lack of this empathy. (From my experience)

Though I could really think about introducing myself since I am very much interested in sharing my cutesy stuff.

I can offer: carcar, mostly, cause I love it. Web weavings, as of recently. Music obsession. Yaoi obsession. A fervent love for Yuki Tsunoda who is the love of my life I want to marry him (I am shorter than him, we could be perfect).

Pretty much that.

"COME CLEAN ANON" we all chant in unison. idk i thought that was funny i apologize lmao.

i love the romanticism i really do, but reveal thyself plssssss and no the tingly feeling shall never leaveeee!!!!!!!!

username pls i will fight for you ml. i despise people like that so so much. if ur gonna be a hater at least be honest about it. do not be a two faced cunt.

no no honey it's okay, you have every right to be wary, it is easy for people to do that shit when they can hide behind a screen.

i do not hate anyone, hate is too much of a strong word.

dislike is a better word. i dislike how sharl behaves in the media. i dislike how sharl treats his teammate. i will however post in the anti tag calling him out on his childish behavior. but you do not see me or any lando/carlos fan sending death threats like a certain group of fans ...

yes, lecfosi do lack empathy, they also often lack the mental capacity to see their mistakes and improve their behavior.

i am not a huge carcar person, but i will vibe in return and offer carlando. webweaves are a way of life let's be honest here. tell me about the music obsession pls!! i lack education on yaoi. and i absolutely get the love for yuki, yuki deserves the world and to escape from the vcarb claws. put him in the red bull. what are they so scared of????

anon i would LOVE if you revealed yourself and i am 100% sure kavi would as well, the hoe keeps fighting me smh.

BUT you don't have to if you don't want to, dw. mwah mwah kisses!!!

[charming-not-sincere]

I’m pointing this out because I haven’t seen anyone else point it out despite the fact that I feel like I’m asking for trouble saying this, but as with a lot fiction, for some people, it is used to process trauma that they have gone through. So to say that they can’t write about rape or child rape or incest when they themselves have been in those positions and are using it to process their trauma because you think they might be somehow, I don’t know, condoning that kind of behavior is rude and perhaps even cruel. For some, it’s reading about it that helps process trauma. Probably because not all of us are great at writing. So it helps for people to post their writing. The fact that this harms no one including themselves and those in their community and can be actively helpful means that, in my humble opinion, they should not be shamed or that writing about these subjects should not be made illegal. The acts most definitely should be illegal and called to shame because they do cause real world harm. There is a difference between creating something in your mind (fantasy) and doing the actions in the real world (reality). That difference is in who it harms and how it harms them. If you ignore the tags and ignore the warnings set to make you safe, you can’t complain about the fact that you got harmed. If you drink bleach even with all the warning signs and end up in the hospital, you can’t sue the company who made the bleach because you were properly warned.

I also find that this can be a very slippery slope. What counts as child porn can vary from state to state and country to country. Is a 17 year old having sex with their just turned 18 year old significant other of multiple years child porn? Some states/countries say yes. Others say no. God knows Sterek often falls into that category of technically illegal but as of this posting there are 72000 fics on ao3 alone. I understand that most people are thinking of larger and younger discrepancies when they’re talking about child porn, but when saying that something should be illegal to make or exist, you have to take the logistics into the thought process, and the fact that there would be a big disagreement on what counts has me erring on the side of should not be. Especially when it again causes no real world harm.

Again I feel the need to say this since I’ve already been finger pointed at for reblogging the original. But I do not condone the acts of child porn, child rape, incest, or rape. I’m quite happy that laws exist against these things. But no children are harmed in the making of fan fiction works. Other than maybe the ex-child behind the keyboard who was already harmed at the start of the process and may actually be a little better off at the end of it. No guarantees on that front though.

"You can't ship that!"

lol what are you gonna do, climb inside my mind and shut off the imagination switch?