#and trying to talk conflicts out instead of just letting the feelings stew

[artificial-condition]

Dealing directly with conflicts and emotions is simultaneously agony and incredibly rewarding and I hate it.

[undeadcannibal]

Could you maybe do 141+ Alejandro finding out their 'citizen' partner was actually an ex-mercenary?

Summary: How Task Force 141 and Alejandro would react to finding out their ‘civilian’ partner is an ex mercenary.

Genre: Headcanons, request(s) Characters featured: Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, and Alejandro.

Warnings: None!

A/N: Hopefully I didn’t make this like, sadder than wanted lol. It just sorta happened. Regardless, thank you so much for the request, I hope y’all enjoy! ( Gif credit: xxx )

Price―

He’s embarrassed it takes him so long to notice the signs, but when he does, he doesn’t say a word.

He’ll act normal the entire time, playing the part of your lovely partner until he’s got enough information. The proof that he needs before calling you out on it.

When he’s certain of your past, he’s waiting till he’s home to call you out on it. May or may not have the team on stand by as well just in case he needs backup and morale support.

He’ll at least try and hear you out first, ask you many questions as to why you hid it, turning the situation into a sort of soft interrogation with how he goes about things in time.

He wants to believe you have a good reason, so rest assured you better have a damn good one as to why you hid what you hid from him.

Caught between wanting to know every detail of what you did and why, but also worries that he might not like the answer he receives.

Soap―

At first, he tries to convince himself he’s just being paranoid. Imagining things that aren’t true.

Over time, he’s certain that there’s too many instances for them all to be coincidental.

Doesn’t approach the situation alone, definitely trusts Ghost to hear him out, asking him for his opinion on the matter.

The two go about the situation together, but once he’s sure that you were definitely an ex ‘merc’, he’s taking it very seriously.

At first, he’d be livid but slowly come to realize that maybe he should hear you out. He really wants to give you the benefit of the doubt, believe you’ve done what you did for a good reason.

Much like Price, he’ll have a long talk with you before making any rash decisions or jumping to conclusions.

Has many, many questions about what you got up to for a paycheck and why exactly. Especially since he’s heard rumors about how ruthless some can be after some time in the ‘business’.

Gaz―

Much like Soap, I can see him being a bit in denial until there’s too many instances to deny anymore.

However, instead of consulting Ghost, he’s going straight to Price. He trusts him - confides in him - and asks him what he should do regarding the situation.

After Price gives him his opinion on the matter, he’s leaving to be alone to think for a long while on it.

Once he’s made up his mind, he’ll try and act normal, but it’s clear something is bothering him.

If you ask about it before he confronts you, he’ll be upfront about what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling, asking you many questions about why you hid it from him, etc.

Depending on the outcome, it may or may not be a deal breaker for him. He’s unsure what to think, how to feel about your relationship. Just confused and paranoid all around, poor man.

Like Alejandro, he hopes it’s all in the past, and for good reason, too.

Ghost―

Oh, once he notices the signs, he’s feeling all sorts of things: he’s livid, conflicted, and very untrustworthy of you after.

Stewing on the information by his lonesome for longer than he should, he hesitates with bringing it to the team’s attention. Feels ashamed he didn’t know sooner.

Once he’s got information regarding your background, he’s immediately heading home to confront you about your past.

Feels a heavy weight on his heart as the two of you discuss everything. He’s not letting you leave till you’ve told him every detail as to why you hid it from him.

Depending on how the confrontation goes, it could possibly be a deal breaker for him. He doesn’t trust and love easily, so best believe it’ll take some time for him to come back around to you once again. He won’t be entirely cold, but you’ll definitely have to earn his trust back afterwards.

Wants to assume you’ve done what you did for good reasons but can’t say unless he knows what your past work was.

Alejandro―

Much like Ghost, due to personal reasons, once he sniffs out any sort of hints that you're an ex merc, he’s doing his best not to immediately assume the worst right away.

He really wants to hear you out but will struggle with confronting you.

After he’s found every little bit of information of your past that he can, he’s hesitating on making a scene right away.

Confides and wants to know Rudy’s honest opinion no matter how harsh he might think it will be.

Really, unless you’re upfront with him after he finally brings it up with you, he’ll worry about your past depending on what kind of work you’ve done for pay. Hopes to God that you’ve certain limitations you refuse to go against.

[astroa3h]

Composite Mars in Libra

Blake and Ryan are the epitome of what we imagine as the “ideal” couple—good looks, great banter, and a picture-perfect family. But with their Composite Mars sitting in Libra, you better believe that all those smooth, Instagram-worthy moments might be covering up a whole lot of tension bubbling beneath the surface. Composite Mars in Libra is frustrating because it’s like trying to drive a car with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. You both have desires, needs, and ambitions, but instead of going after them directly, you’re caught up in this endless loop of overthinking and second-guessing. It’s like, “Should I say something? Should I not? What if they get upset? What if it’s not the right time?” Honey, by the time you’ve decided whether or not to make a move, the moment has passed, and you’re both left feeling like, “Why didn’t we just do something?”

Now, let’s talk about conflict—or rather, the lack thereof. Mars is all about action, right? It’s the planet that drives you to fight for what you want, to assert yourself, to claim territory. But in Libra, Mars is like, “Ugh, do we have to fight? Can’t we just talk it out?” And while talking is great, sometimes it just turns into endless debates where nothing actually gets resolved. You both might end up tiptoeing around real issues because neither of you wants to rock the boat. The result? Resentment. Deep, simmering, passive-aggressive resentment.

You might find yourselves in situations where instead of confronting issues head-on, you both play this subtle game of one-upmanship. It’s all about who can stay the most composed while silently stewing inside. The problem is, this doesn’t just create tension; it creates distance. You might start to feel like you’re walking on eggshells around each other, never quite sure when something small will blow up because it’s been left to fester for too long.

In relationships, this can be downright toxic. You’re supposed to be a team, but with Mars in Libra, you might feel like you’re constantly in this unspoken competition—who’s more agreeable? Who’s more accommodating? It’s exhausting! And when it comes to decision-making, don’t even get me started. You could spend forever weighing pros and cons, trying to find a solution that makes both of you happy, but end up doing nothing at all because you’re too afraid to make the wrong choice. It’s paralyzing.

And then there’s the bedroom. Mars in Libra wants everything to be balanced and beautiful, which sounds nice, right? But sometimes it feels more like performance art than passion. You’re both so concerned with making sure the other person is comfortable and satisfied that you forget to actually let loose and enjoy the moment. The result? A love life that can feel a bit…meh. All the ingredients are there, but the heat is turned way down because you’re both too polite to really go for what you want. Composite Mars in Libra can make it hard to trust each other. Not because you’re dishonest, but because there’s always this underlying question of, “Are they just saying that to keep the peace? Do they really mean it, or are they just trying to be nice?” That doubt can erode the foundation of your relationship over time, making it hard to feel truly secure with each other.

So, what’s the bottom line? Composite Mars in Libra will create a relationship that looks perfect on the surface—like one of those glossy Instagram couples—but underneath, it’s all about unspoken frustrations, missed opportunities, and a lot of unfulfilled potential. If you don’t address it head-on, this placement can slowly drain the passion and vitality out of your relationship, leaving you both feeling like you’re stuck in a beautiful but lifeless partnership. My advice? Don’t be afraid to get messy. Stop worrying so much about keeping the peace and start focusing on keeping it real. Otherwise, you risk ending up in a relationship that’s more about appearances than true connection, and darling, that’s no way to live.

Blessings,

Ash ✨

Get your own reading at astroash.net

[newtmas-supremxcy]

Can I just say the more times I rewatch dead boy detectives the more I realise that charles while being a massive green flag, is a bit of an ass to edwin- ofc not on purpose but you know like same effect as if it was and this gives me increasingly conflicting feelings cause like on the one hand charles is clearly in love with him as well and he even went to fucking hell for him, I mean he is pretty much the king of grand gestures just for that but on the other hand he does things that without a doubt hurt/upset edwin repeatedly throughout the series, mostly becuase of his feelings for crystal a few prime examples include : not comforting his clearly distraught best mate who is dealing with the trauma of being trapped in hell for 70 years instead telling him pain isn't a competition and just letting him walk away not even trying to catch up after him and talk it out, talking about sleeping with Crystal infront of him for a good 5 minutes and then proceeding to brag about how he snogged her, then the bloody cherry on top, kissing her infront of him the day after charles rejected him, constantly being shown to take Crystal's side over Edwin's and being jealous over pretty much every male edwin interacts with over the course of the series despite the fact that he is the only one edwin truly wants and then rejecting him

I feel like I have said this 10 000 times on my dbd posts but I wanna say it again I love charles, but I do think he deserves to pine and stew in his own feelings and regret his rejection for a hot minute before he gets with edwin

[all-pacas]

i read all your house fics over the past few days and i love your style of writing. the dialogue fits the characters and show so well, idk what it is about it but it just clicks in my head and i can hear their voices while i read it. and all of their internal monologues are just perfect. i love the grasp you have on the ducklings' backstories and motivations its seriously inspired :))

now im trying to work on the oneshot idea ive been stewing over for an entire year, about chase being house's only fellow pre-canon, which seems like a weird and absurd situation to me. the idea is that something must have happened for him to basically be secured as house's fellow, but he also has to realize himself that he passed house's mysterious criteria. any specific tips for writing him? especially younger him?

Oh wow that’s so flattering! And SUCH a good idea for a fanfic, I’m also lowkey obsessed with the mysterious year (!) Chase spent with House pre-series lmao. Like I think we all agree, there’s no way House would have kept him just because his dad called, right? I actually can’t think of a way to get someone fired faster than telling House he has to employ this kid.

I have no idea for tips, because I feel like I still kind of am like ??? when it comes to Chase. But I’m also always happy to yell about god’s least favorite princess:

Chase is kinda passive-aggressive! He will do his best to avoid and freeze out his problems. When everyone is trying to talk to him about his dad, he ignores, refuses to engage, literally walks away. When House confronts him about the nun in S1, Chase doesn’t actually confirm that he’s Catholic, even: he just changes the subject to “I bet the nun’s boss knows about her.” By implication, he confirms House is right, but he never says shit. He’s private as hell. Likewise, he gets touchy when people “pry.” We also see it in his relationship with Cameron, to an extent: it bothers him for a long while that she never makes him feel welcome at her apartment, but he doesn’t say anything, just lowkey makes sure they’re always at his. 

He also tends to be conflict avoidant. When Cameron and Foreman are fighting over the “stolen” article, they both try to get him on their side, and he tells them both what they want to hear. He doesn’t defend himself against House’s bullying, Foreman tells him to his face a couple of times that he doesn’t like him and Chase says nothing. However, this doesn’t mean he’s that easy going. We see with his dad he will hold a fucking grudge forever — even in S5 he’s talking about how much he hated him, and in S8 and how he talks about his mother, we see he hasn’t stopped hating her, either. Also he calls out Foreman a couple of times, either by just being a little bitch (telling a patient “Foreman doesn’t like me either” while Foreman is right there) or by just laying things out for him (S7′s “oh, you think you’re better than me?” stairway rant). It also doesn’t mean Chase is totally spineless and has no boundaries. With Cameron, he actually dumps her when she tries to avoid him over the engagement, and has no problem calling off the wedding over sperm-gate. When things matter to him, he’ll stand up for himself; he just prefers to freeze out or avoid conflict. He also has no problem in confronting House when he feels like it. He’s not very scared of House, House just doesn’t bother him.

He also gains more… let’s call it confidence… as time goes on. Chase always seems to be pretty secure in his self-worth and idea of himself (and NEVER willingly opens up to other people), but over time he definitely becomes a little punchier. In S1-3 he’s willing to just sort of roll his eyes and take it when things happen, but by S4-5 he’s happy to call House or Foreman out and argue instead of just letting things go (passive-aggressively). He never gets any better at emotional honesty (his “punch House instead of talking about his divorce” thing is straight out of his S1 daddy issues playbook), but he does grow something of a spine. I imagine before the show started, he was even less prone to fighting back beyond snarky comments.

He genuinely finds House funny. He almost always laughs at House’s stupidest jokes, and as much as he’s accused of being an asskisser, he. Really just does think House is funny. Foreman and Cameron hardly ever react to House’s little comments, Chase is always grinning along. This is important. Chase’s sense of humor sucks! He is an idiot! He likes House. In S1 he says he likes how direct House is, there’s the way he always laughs at House’s jokes, he is absolutely a huge suck up also but he also likes House. I think pre-canon this was absolutely still the case. House comes in all prepared to make this little nepo-baby cry and instead Chase not just imprints on him but thinks he’s so funny and admires how mean he is and how smart he is. Chase really likes his job. He says it a lot, but I don’t know if it gets focused on all that much. He ratted to Vogler because he wanted to keep his job, he makes comments many times about how he won’t risk his job. He likes working for House, he wants to keep doing it, he will ass-kiss and work hard and throw people under the bus to keep it: with the Vogler situation, he was pretty willing to fight Cameron for it, and he and Cameron usually get along!

He’s very observant when he wants to be. He gets House; from his little monologue to Wilson in Private Lives we see he basically can analyze “House is looking at a book” and figure out it’s a fake book and that House is really invested in it. In S3, he’s able to pick apart House and Foreman’s resignation drama over like. Two sentences. In ‘Nobody’s Fault’ in S8, Chase is pissed with House (for really the first time ever), but also sees through his excuses to do differentials in the OR as excuses for House to check in, he knows House is worried: in S5, Chase realizes House is broken up about his father’s death without even seeing him. This is also something House appreciates about Chase, a lot. He says in S3 it’s why he hired him; House also tends to “reward” Chase by being pretty honest with him. When Chase asks him something, House usually answers him honestly. (with Foreman’s resignation, as soon as Chase calls him out, House admits it and they have an honest conversation on what House should do next; in S5, House wants a surgery done for personal reasons and admits it and why when Chase asks.) 

I think part of this is because Chase actually very rarely does ask House anything, and he never makes demands on House or his feelings. He accepts at face value that House is “fine” during Detox, he doesn’t try and fix or change him, in “Half Wit” when the others are scheming to get House tested or make amends with him, Chase tries (and fails) to act normal, and then just wants a hug. Compare like. Cameron, who keeps trying to change or push House into acting how she wants him to act (blackmailing him into a date, for example). I’m not saying House doesn’t care about her, just. House is more open with Chase than he is with a lot of people who aren’t Wilson. Also, Chase does not return the favor. He literally ran up the stairs rather than tell House about his daddy issues, lmao. It’s kind of crazy that House is arguably more open and honest with Chase than vice-versa.

Finally, despite all his secret seething passive-aggression and daddy issues, and the fact that honestly Chase could really benefit from therapy and anti-depressants? He is not a sad uwu baby. This is sort of a general rant, but. You see it all the tiiime in fanfic. And yes, he’s super fucked up. But he’s cheerful most of the time! He likes doing crazy things, he is often pretty sarcastic and makes bad jokes! He’s a flirt, even before his S7 manwhore days — in early seasons we see him check out girls in the hallways, flirt at parties, with residents and nurses. He has hobbies (he’s fairly sporty, if Cameron’s “your apartment was decorated by a drunk rugby player” comment is anything to go on), he likes to read and do crossword puzzles and surfs and skis. He tells bad jokes. He tends to be fairly self confident — he doesn’t just take it when he’s accused of making mistakes, he has no problems with social situations or interactions, he hilariously thinks women are attracted to his personality and not his looks, like, he thinks he has a winning personality, that’s incredibly funny. He’s not arrogant in that he doesn’t really have much of a need to prove himself (he’s pretty fucking unambitious, actually), but he definitely has the Good Looking Rich Kid mentality where he thinks he belongs in any given situation and that people like him. He also has the social skills to back it up. Because he represses and avoids and seethes instead of expressing emotions, he comes off as generally cheerful and laid back, you know? Why be sad when you can just repress everything and flirt with nurses instead!

Finally finally: he's a huge fucking crybaby. Have you seen how red his eyes get. He might try to be stoic and repress but he tears up at the drop of a hat. First time House bullied him he probably started to cry.

[universitypenguin]

Reissued Post - Jealousy

Author's Note: Because Tumblr was having issues when I posted the original version of this, some of my followers are having trouble accessing it. I'm reissuing a few of my side piece stories so everyone can read them.

Masterlist

Word Count: 883

Would princess get jealous if she saw Lloyd maybe talking (or what she would perceive as flirting/getting cozy) with another woman? While I know they agreed on an affair something tells me she’d feel those twinges of jealousy deep down? 

There are a few different reactions she might have, depending on the context of the flirting. She’s emotionally intelligent and great at managing conflict (probably because she’s the oldest of five kids). 

Here’s a sampling of scenarios and how Princess would react to each. 

1. A woman flirts with Lloyd and he casually flirts back out of habit.

Let’s say he accidentally flirts back to a waitress one night when you’re having dinner. In this situation Princess would be amused, but she wouldn’t let Lloyd know it right away. Because seriously, who wastes ammo like that? She would hold it over his head and pretend to be upset just to watch him stew in discomfort. 

Lloyd only flirted out of habit and he’s annoyed that the whole situation is just a slip of the tongue. He wants to brush it all under the rug and move on. Princess isn’t about to let that happen. After all, you should set your expectations clearly in any relationship, right? Even if it is “just an affair.” Drawing out the reaction to provoke him, she lets him wheedle and negotiate. 

Lloyd grows more and more horrified. He knows he screwed up, but he also has no idea what one does to fix this kind of thing. He hadn’t intended to upset you. The flirting didn’t mean anything. He wasn’t interested in that woman! Then the fatal words leave his mouth: “It was no big deal.” 

Your eyes narrow. His skin prickles as you scan the room with a predatory gaze. 

“Princess…”

“Hmmm?”

“Don’t even think about it,” Lloyd says.

“It’s no big deal. You know I’m not actually interested, but a woman should always keep her hunting skills sharp, you know?” 

With a vicious smirk, you slide out of the booth and walk towards a lonely looking man at the bar. Lloyd tosses cash on the table. He’s on you before you’re halfway across the room and grasps your hand in a firm grip. With subtle pressure he guides you out of the restaurant. As you allow him to drag you to the parking lot, his lips brush your ear. 

“I’m going to make damn sure you don’t have enough brain cells to think about hunting skills for a long time, Princess.” 

2. Lloyd flirts with someone to make Princess jealous.

If this happened, Princess would be irritated. But in the interest of managing Lloyd’s behavior she realizes if she rewards him with the reaction he want to get - i.e., jealousy, this will make the situation worse. She gives him the cold shoulder instead. He wants passion and rage, so she crafts the response of an ice queen. 

This won’t go over well. When he realizes she isn’t paying attention, Lloyd would approach her and move the situation into a direct confrontation.

Did you see him with that woman? Things are going well, he’s considering taking her home. 

Princess knows a bait question when she sees it. She tosses back the rest of her drink and raises an eyebrow. 

“Do you expect me to be jealous?”

Lloyd’s nostrils flare. 

She smirks. “You know what? I am jealous. I’m jealous that when we got involved, you did a much better job of picking a partner than I did.” 

3. Lloyd is genuinely trying to pick someone up. 

If Lloyd was genuinely trying to pick up another woman, Princess would be really hurt. She’d initially look for another explanation and try to evaluate his actions in context, and compare them with the woman’s response. But when she can’t rationalize them she’d turn away. There’s no clearer signal of a lack of interest than going after someone else. If confronted about the situation, she would be honest about her feelings and she’d tell him what she saw that hurt her.

Lloyd’s response would go one of two ways. First, he might be shocked and speechless. Secondly, he could repay her honesty with equal truth, and explain that he wanted to gain her attention and make her jealous. Princess has never seen this streak of insecurity in Lloyd before, but she would hear him out. She would listen to his feelings and try to identify what prompted his behavior. Then she would reassure him she’s only interested in him and there’s no reason for him to whip up her jealousy. However… if he’s going to play on her emotions, she won’t tolerate it for long. He has to know what he dislikes, what scares him, what he’s comfortable with, and how he wants to be treated.

She can handle boundaries. But she knows better than to allow someone with Lloyd’s personality to manipulate her emotions. Even after prison, and therapy, and committing to being a different person, Lloyd still has a Machiavellian streak in him which has the potential to be very dangerous. Princess loves Lloyd. At the same time, she knows who he is. When it comes down to it, she knows she has to manage her own feelings and resist his games to keep their relationship healthy.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Masterlist

[futureslaps]

The Captive - Chapter 4

Chapter 3     Chapter 5

Get ready for some serious hurt-no comfort in this chapter. 

The sun sat low in the sky as Spider returned from the small jungle bordering the village. He didn’t feel much better, but at least he’d managed to recompose himself.

He made a stop by one of the large cookfires where food was being served, the Metkayina around him eyeing him suspiciously as he grabbed a bowl of stew. The residents of Awa’atlu had begrudgingly allowed him to stay at Jake’s request, but they made no effort to hide their distrust.

Instead of sitting around the fire with the Na’vi, he took his bowl and found a solitary spot on one of Awa’atlu’s beaches. As he slowly sipped at the stew, he watched the area around him.

The village began lighting up with fires as the sun slowly sank. The last few hunters were returning from their work, being greeted by family. It all looked so peaceful. It reminded him of life back with the Omatikaya. Before the sky people returned. Before everything had fallen apart…

Spider’s breath hitched when he spotted Jake walking toward him. He’d been trying to avoid him since the battle. Jake already had to argue with the Metkayina to keep Spider there, the last thing he wanted was to be more of a burden.

“Hi Jake.” Spider spoke, trying to put some cheer into his voice.

“Hey Spider, you out here alone?” asked Jake, sitting down next to him.

Great. At least it gave Spider an excuse not to look at Jake. He couldn’t bear to lie to his face.

“Yeah, I’m just enjoying the view.”

“It’s something, isn’t it?”

They sat in silence for a moment watching the last rays of sun disappear. Spider could tell something was bothering Jake, but he didn’t dare prod.

“You turning in soon? It’s getting late.” Asked Jake

More silence.

Spider hadn’t really considered it yet, but he didn’t know where he was supposed to go. In the past, he’d always slept near the Sully’s tent, but with the Metkayina village’s structure, suspended between the hometree’s roots, that wasn’t possible.

“Spider?”

“I…I think I’ll sleep under the stars tonight.” Spider said quickly. “It’s been a while.”

Jake turned to look at him.

“Will you be alright? I…”

“I’ll be fine, really.” Spider interrupted. “I… know a good spot.”

Jake sighed.

“Maybe…” Jake began.

Another pause. He looked conflicted.

“Maybe that’s best for now. Things are tough with Neteyam. And Neytiri…”

“It’s okay, I get it.” Spider replied softly, trying desperately to mask the hurt in his voice.

“Spider…” Jake began, but he didn’t finish the sentence.

He got up slowly and left.

Spider sat for a moment, looking down. Finally, he got up and started looking for somewhere to sleep. He settled on a nook made by two of the Metkayina hometree’s roots. It was small and offered little protection from the elements, but at least it would keep him from rolling into the ocean.

(…)

It was dark by the time Jake reached his Marui. Tuk was sleeping off in a corner, and Neytiri was working on some cloth. Kiri was lying on her back, her eyes open.

Jake guessed Lo’ak was still with his brother. He had refused to leave his side since the battle, even volunteering to watch him at night.

Jake sat with his mate and daughter. He wanted to talk more with Neytiri about Quaritch’s upcoming trial, but he didn’t want to do it in front of his kids. The fewer reminders they had that the demon was so close nearby, the better.

“Dad?” Kiri sat up as she spoke. “Where’s Spider?”

“He’s sleeping out in the village.” Jake replied, bracing himself.

“What?”

“He said he wanted to sleep under the stars today.”

Kiri looked at him incredulously.

“Are you kidding me, dad?”

Jake swallowed. He knew this wouldn’t go over well with Kiri.

“Kiri…”

“You let him? You let him sleep outside, alone?” Kiri’s tone was rising.

“Kiri, don’t take such a tone with your father!”, Neytiri quipped, but Kiri ignored her.

“Did you even offer him a place to sleep?”

Jake tried to think of something to say.

“It was his idea…” it was a pathetic excuse, and he knew it. He desperately wanted to tell the truth, but he couldn’t bring himself to have that conversation now.

Kiri looked at him, fury in her eyes. She got up, collected her blankets, and moved to the farthest corner of the marui. She lay down with her back facing her parents.

Jake held his head in his hands and groaned.

He was doing this for his family, and for Spider’s sake. They all needed time to heal.

This is just what he had to do now. It hurt but it was for the best.

Right?

(…)

The temperature had fallen, and a fog had settled over Awa’atlu. Spider was used to chilly air, but it was an all-too clear reminder of where he was sleeping. On a tree root, alone.

Maybe it’s best for now.

Jake’s words replayed in his head. They had hurt Spider more than he had expected. He’d half hoped Jake would invite him to stay with the Sullys in their marui. He knew it was unlikely, that his hopes were misguided, but to hear Jake say it himself had been a stab in the gut.

As he felt tears form in his eyes, he tried to distract himself with happier memories. He thought back to the time he’d spent in the jungle with the Sully siblings when they were all younger. Playing and training with them were some of his most precious memories. Back then he’d always seen himself becoming a warrior as he grew up with the people he viewed as siblings. He’d even hoped Jake and Neytiri would eventually make it official…

He finally let out a sob as he remembered how he used to dream of a day when Jake called him “son”. He knew now it had been a delusion. It was never going to happen. Neytiri had made it clear on the Sea Dragon how “close” to family he was to the Sullys.

There was only one person who called him “son”, one person who had always wanted to sleep next to him, and in 12 days there would be no more. He wanted Quaritch to be there with him. As guilty as it made him feel, he desperately missed the man’s presence next to him while he slept, covered by Quaritch’s huge army coat.

Quaritch had saved him. Neytiri was going to kill him and Quaritch had saved him. Quaritch was a prisoner because he had saved him.

Spider felt like he was being split in half between two worlds, part of neither.

Part of nothing.

He desperately wanted someone, anyone to be there and comfort him…

But he was alone and cold.

He curled up tighter as he sobbed into his mask.

Is it possible to feel sad about something while you are writing it? 

I almost felt bad writing this last part, but I feel like being taken hostage by Neytiri purely as a way to defeat Quaritch would seriously hurt Spider on another level. 

For everyone waiting for the Spider-Quaritch reunion, rest assured it's on the way 💙

Please let me know what you think about the fic so far, and thank you again for reading! 

Taglist:

@buzzing-honeybee

@yesthisismycurrenthyperfixation

[sunflowerhotline]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT. 4

🪁gemini venus gets a lot of flack for having non-commital tendencies when really, they avoid committing to the wrong person. i’ve noticed that when they get into relationships they’re quite steady and remain with their partner for a long while, especially if their venus is aspected by saturn or pluto.

- i’ve also never met a non-committal aquarius venus. idk maybe y’all are just coming across the wrong people

🪁people with taurus moon, cancer moon and cancer/taurus/libra on 5th house cusp are very natural with children. children usually like these people

🪁composite saturn in 4th and 7th indicates a couple that stays together forever

🪁fire moons have a habit of falling in love with air venuses.

🪁scorpio and taurus moons tend to be very loyal and possessive in love, regardless of their venus sign/placement. they usually are committed to their partners and have a laser-focus on them and only them.

🪁leo and libra rising guys are the guys that everyone kinda just falls in love with because of their charm. they are usually so charming, clever and attractive that it’s hard for those around these guys not to be drawn in. leo rising men are usually just really handsome so they especially can just attract lots of female attention.

🪁depending on the signs, people with moon opposite venus can be either very clingy or very detached. i’ve never seen a middle ground with these people. their affection nature is so polarised.

🪁virgo venuses are soooo hard on themselves and usually look for (and find) a million reasons why they’re undeserving of love. they can really project their own low feelings about themselves onto others to almost try to convince themselves that others see them through the lens of meanness and criticism that they see themselves through.

🪁moon-uranus (hard aspect) people usually had a childhood/adolescent conflict involving their mother. they either had a problem with their mother or endured circumstantial hardships with their mother which challenged (uranus) their emotional security (moon). the house uranus is in will show the type of conflict.

EX: if you had your uranus in an earth house (2H, 6H, 10H), you could have endured financial hardship with your mom during your childhood/upbringing. she may not have been able to keep a stable job which was why you may have faced financial instability. in your childhood, you may have moved a lot for financial reasons or may have had to go without certain material comforts for the same reason.

🪁taurus moons usually wanna become parents and libra moons usually wanna get married at some point

🪁libra women and sagittarius men are so similar it’s actually crazy. they both also kinda...dislike each other usually??? yet they’re so ??? similar??? it’s pure comedy honestly

🪁people with cancer venus and cancer in 7th are usually attracted to people after they see them interact (lovingly or gently) with kids.

🪁 4th house ruler in 10th and 10th house ruler in 4th can indicate fame - the native can be a household (4th house) name.

EG: Billie Eilish - 4th house ruler (mercury) in her 10th house. she is known for (10th house) her songs (mercury).

🪁people with mars conjunct mercury have a tendency to talk over people

🪁people with venus-saturn aspects, capricorn venus and venus in 10th tend to fall in love with people who make them laugh. they love people who can make them feel young and free. in their relationships, they like to feel like they have a place or a person with whom they don’t have to be so heavy and responsible - someone they can just let their guard down with and just enjoy themselves.

🪁 “high cheekbones...defined bone structure....thin” etc are generally used to describe capricorn risings. HOWEVER lots of cap risings don’t fit that description because lots of (younger) cap risings have neptune and/or uranus in the 1st house. these planets change, distort and soften whatever they touch. if it comes into the 1st house of self, cap risings are likely to look different than their traditional interpretations. especially in the case of neptune being in the 1st, the natives may look younger and have rounder, softer features.

🪁no matter the venus sign, jupiter in 7th and uranus in 7th natives NEEEEEEEEDDD freedom in their relationships. these people are the types to not get [legally] married and might opt for other options like domestic partnerships or civil unions because they are the kinds of people who think “if you leave the door open, i’ll never walk out of it”. they want to feel like they have other options...this IS NOT ALWAYS A BAD THING!! don’t feel like these people can’t commit - they commit when they want, to who they want, when they want to...it has to be on their own terms though!

🪁cancer moons give the warmest, most tender hugs i’ve ever received.

🪁i’ve never met an aries mars who wasn’t competitive as fuck and hated losing. these people always wanna be the best at whatever they are doing and can take it to heart when they come in 2nd but they’re the types to dust themselves off and try again instead of stewing in the pain of their own failure forever

🪁people with moon-uranus hard aspects may like dating air venus people because air venus people could keep them entertained and give them the space they need. bonus points if the native has sag, aqua, cap or gemini placements.

🪁pisces venus people love love but tend to run away from it when it comes close

🪁mercury retrograde people are always so fucking late all the damn time

🪁for scorpio moon, scorpio venus, moon-pluto and venus-pluto people, heartbreak is literally the end of the world. we are not joking when we say it feels like death.

🪁sun opposite pluto people often try to fight their plutonic tendencies and have a particularly gnarly disdain for their father while other sun-pluto placements tend to accept their plutonic nature and allow themselves to overcome their father-related trauma.

🪁sun-pluto people (especially conjunction, opposition, square) tend to go through phases in life where they stop talking to their fathers.

🪁aquarius and pisces risings have an affinity for changing up their hair. they love wigs and dying their hair a different colour is like one of their favourite past times. they always make the different colours and styles look good though - they’re just blessed that way.

🪁saturn in 9th people don’t like going to church lol.

🪁saturn in 9th people may want to move to a different country but may have responsibilities in their hometown/home country that prevents them from doing so. they may also have a hard time trying to figure out what they want to study in college

🪁 2H uranus and 2H saturn people are very smart with money but the 2h uranus person is quicker to spend it than the 2h saturn person.

🪁 sagittarius moons 🤝 aquarius moons

being literal fucking soulmates

🪁ALL fixed venuses (taurus, leo, scorpio, aquarius) display the same level of devotion, commitment, loyalty and fixation on a chosen partner. it is literally in their venusian nature ... hence it being FIXED!! once they have their heart set on someone, it’s a done deal. they want that person forever which is why it takes them forever to move on from a former partner

🪁4th house synastry is so cute. my venus and mars falls into one of my closest friends 4th house and we always hang out at her house like literally every time we hang out, it’s at her house. we wear pajamas and eat a whole lotta food while watching animé in bed lol

🪁 cap venus 🤝 aqua venus

“i’m so in love with you, please go away though”

[florencwrites]

ignoring is bliss 〚technoblade〛

in which [reader] struggles with her lover's inconsequent affection, and a good talk is unfortunately inevitable; the silent treatment has never worked well with techno.

"I don't know what you want me to say." His back had still been turned towards me at this point, the rake heavy in my hands as I tried using it to steady myself in the muddy stable. He kept loading dirty plucks of hay onto his pitchfork, the thinly lined buttoned shirt he was wearing easily letting his back muscles shine through.

I stood silently behind him, deliberating my words thoroughly. I hated when he acted like this, I absolutely despised him. He was one of the smartest men I'd ever had the pleasure of meeting, however, the second things went sideways conversation-wise he always played it painfully personally. He would start correcting my grammar or suggest synonyms for otherwise satisfactory sentences. "I don't either."

"I guess that marks the end of this conversation." He turned around to dump his gathered muck in the makeshift wheelbarrow Phil had built us. His face was hard, his brows furrowed and his features lax. He seemed indifferent, his attitude scaring me to pieces.

"Tech, please." I tried, putting one of my hands up to gesture for him to stop walking. He was now barely lifting the barrow from the ground, ready to head off to the dump. He huffed, his eyes meeting the floor as he put the wagon down. "You know I hate it when you call me that."

"I'm sorry," I muttered softly.

He ducked to grip his hands around the handles again, lifting it from the ground. His knuckles were white where they held onto the leather-covered grips. "Speak up."

"I want to have a conversation with you, okay? Stop acting so fucking stuck up and talk to me." His shoulder brushed past mine as he exited the stables, my voice was high in emotions, definitely on the verge of breaking with desperation.

He snorted. "I'll listen to whatever you have to say when you've calmed down."

-

"He won't talk to me, Phil." I groaned almost obnoxiously loud, taking a sip of water to wash down both my dinner and my agitation. "You know how he gets."

"All pissy? Tell me about it." He chuckled softly, his forearm shielding his bowl from my sight. He shoveled another spoonful of beef stew into his mouth. Phil and I had never been extraordinarily close, he reckoned Techno and me to be undeserving of each other. A terrible pair. And perhaps we were, at times like this I couldn't help but doubt whether or not we truly were the destined lovers we often thought ourselves to be. "I'll bring him some food later."

I laughed at him, a father at heart. A father to anyone but his actual sons, really. A playful grin on my lips, "You're an enabler, Phil."

-

That night I crawled into an empty bed. One I hadn't even doubted would be just that; empty. He was weak like that, he'd do anything to avoid conflict. Whether that was because he was afraid of what his blinding rage fits would conjure, or whether he was just an impotent coward. Someone who didn't know how to act around uncertainty and immorality and thus resorted to blaming everything on his treacherous temper.

The sheets still smelled of him, I held them to my nose.

There was no reason for us to fight, I hadn't meant to start one. I simply wanted him to realize how different he acted towards me when surrounded by any crowd. He acted so distant it made me doubt not only us, but myself. My heart ached anytime he pulled his hand away from where I tried leaving him a subtle touch. My skin crawled when he no longer referred to me by the mild, but unmissably warm names he had for me.

However, nothing would ever hurt me as much as meeting his eyes in a room of our friends and seeing the love seep from his irises. Physically witnessing his affection turn into nothing short of mere acquaintance.

Everyone knew us. There was no reason for him to act so cold, so distant. Though, I also recognized that perhaps there was an underlying reason. One I simply hadn't thought of, or perhaps one that I couldn't ever imagine. One that he had retained from his troublesome past.

The thing is, it hurt me to think he didn't trust me enough with his reasoning. That he didn't want to tell me about his thoughts. I'd been extremely careful and meticulous with any information he'd granted me, I was sure to never let what he told me change my opinion of him. I vowed to never look at him any different.

So, why could he not promise me the same?

-

There was no point in pushing myself from my sheets the next morning. I knew how long his episodes usually lasted, I wouldn't even have to try talking to him for at least two more days. Normally, I'd try, though. I'd sit in the grass right next to where he was working outside, just talking to him about anything and everything I could think of. Back then I thought for his silence to mean confusion, I thought his swirling mind simply needed a break. That a distraction would do him good.

I sat in the barely-molten grass for hours, never getting a reply.

His smell was constricting my airways slowly, every inhale making it harder and harder to breathe. What if Phil was right, what if he truly didn't love me, or not anymore at least? What if it was all an act to have a warm body to fall asleep next to, to have an extra set of hands around the cottage.

I kicked at the sheets, desperate to get them away from me, to get them from clinging to my sweaty body. I only tangled my legs further into the mess. The bed creaked loudly against the wooden floor of the attic, a gust of wind running through a small gap in the roof.

I shot up, finally being able to rid my body of the sheets. I huffed a few times, the annoyance getting the better of me. I slung my legs over the side of the bed, now just sitting on the wooden frame, letting my eyes wander over the walls. The pictures of us that were tightly tacked to the planks, photos of our favorite pets and our best of friends. Photos of us with Phil and Tommy, and even a stray photo of me and Wilbur, back when we were kids.

My gaze found its way towards the singular window behind our bed, the only one of two walls that weren't entirely slanted. His red robe stood out like a sore thumb in the feeble blanket of slushy snow that had been slowly accumulating over the course of the night. Summer was officially over once again, and the cold would soon make it so we could no longer afford to sleep alone.

He rarely wore his robe outside of special occasions, he usually would simply opt for one of his brown ones. One was trimmed with a thick deer fur, the leather on it sure to keep all frost out. The other one was his summer one, the more dirty one of the two. It was always stained with blood, since it would also be the one he went hunting with. He disliked hunting in the winter, the harsh winds and easily discernible prints made it no fun, according to him. He stacked up during the summer, drying his meats to allow them to be kept safe for months, if not years.

But now he was wearing his red robe, lined with the finest of polar bear fur. The one that had the special compartments for his potions, and the one I had sown a totem into. For good luck. He rarely wore it for any occasion but war.

He pushed himself from the ground, turning around swiftly; the velocity making his cape whisk dramatically up in the wind. His eyes seemed fixated on the ground until they unwarrantedly shot up to the window I was sitting at. Any other day, I would've averted my gaze. Not now. He knew I was staring, and he was allowed to know so. I held my eyes on him until his feet carried him out of sight, into the house. I sighed softly, I felt entirely forlorn without him, without his caring hands and loving eyes. I let myself fall back into the bed, cuddling the sheets once again as I curled away from the entrance. I reckoned he would have to change out of his robe soon, and I didn't want to face him when he did.

-

I heard the front door slam, and as predicted the rungs of the many ladders soon creaked in his hold. The worn, practically ancient, trapdoor was pushed ajar behind me. I couldn't be bothered to turn to meet his eyes. However, instead of quietly changing out of his clothes, I felt the bed dip. He sat on the side of it, much alike to how I had found myself just minutes before.

"I don't like feeling weak." His voice was rougher than usual, it kept its usual monotone aura, but for some reason, it felt more emotional than ever before. He cleared his throat as if to try and mask it, to no avail, "I don't love you any less."

I shifted in the bed, though, he quickly stopped me, "Don't look at me, that just makes it harder."

I obliged. He let out a trembling sigh, taking his sweet time to deliberate his next words, "Sometimes we are outside together and I'm afraid that when they see how much I care about you, they will realize that you make me weak." I stared at the wall, still curled into the blankets. I wanted nothing more than to hold his face, look at him as he spoke. Instead, I had to make do with the pictures of his face plastered on the wood. His pointy, flappy ears and peaked nose. The two sharp-looking fangs set in the corners of his lips, ones that seemed to disappear when he smiled. He didn't like smiling for pictures, I didn't have a single one of the two of us together where he smiled. The only ones that showed his beautiful pearly whites were the ones that had me behind the camera, something I only then realized might've not been a coincidence.

"It scares me to think they could hurt you for loving me, that's why I don't like holding your hand in town." I shot a quick look over my shoulder, his back was slouched over, his head in his hands with his elbows propped on his knees. He wasn't crying, he simply seemed lost."I never realized that what scares me even more is the idea of you not loving me at all."

I slowly crept from under the sheets as his words fell silent. I crawled over towards where he was sat, near the foot-end of the bed. I took one of his hands from where he had rested his face on it and pulled it out of the way.

I snaked my arms around his neck, pulling my body into his. I draped my legs over his lap as I held him. His built arms felt tender against my exposed back, however, he held me tight. He squeezed softly as another quivering breath escaped his lips. We sat in embrace for a while.

"That's all I asked for, Tech." I smiled into his neck. "I just wanted to talk, that wasn't so hard, now, was it?"

"Shut up." He playfully tried pushing me away from his torso, underestimating the power of my cling. "You know I hate it when you call me that."

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 23, second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Nature Abhors a (Power) Vacuum

Jin Guangshan, Nie Mingjue, and Lan Xichen have gathered to decide what to do about the remaining Wen people and also what to do about the Yin metal. They have not invited Jiang Cheng to this discussion, or blowhard Clan Leader Yao, despite those clans having been hit particularly hard by the Wens in the course of the war. 

The three of them have a conversation about what to do with the Wen captives, showing their different attitudes towards killing.

Jin Guangshan: Killing is awesome, particularly in project management. It's just so efficient. Nie Mingjue: Killing is necessary, and a little bit fun, too. Lan Xichen: Killing is necessary, sadly, but we can randomly spare some women or old people, as a token sign that we’re not monsters. Kind of like when you have a fancy dinner and include a tofu dish for the vegetarians. Nie Mingjue: Nobody likes tofu, Xichen.

Jin Guangshan says he's looking for the Yin Iron and that they can't let any Wens or "ambitious people" get a hold of it. By ambitious people he means Wei Wuxian, not himself and his murder kid. Lan Xichen realizes this right away but doesn't, you know, do anything to contradict him.  Jin Guangshan says he's asked "A-Yao" to look into it. Which is smart, because A-Yao is already in cahoots with Xue Yang, who actually has the piece of Yin Iron they're looking for.

Getting Jiggy With It

Then Jin Guangshan introduces Meng Yao, now renamed Jin Guangyao, in a weird twist on generation names. He has given him the name of a sibling or cousin of his own generation (starting with Guang), rather than a name of the next generation (starting with Zi). JGS says that JGY just recently learned about about being related to him, although we know perfectly well that's not true. 

And they both talk like he appreciates JGY's efficiency and helpfulness, but that's not why JGS has him at his side. He has taken him in because he is a steel-eyed murder bot, not in spite of it. 

(OP does not believe that Jin Guangyao could have been a good person if only his dad had let him hold Jin Ling that one time, as some have argued. Dude killed his own child because there was a chance he might be disabled in a way that could lead to gossip. Dude is a stone cold killer.)

(more after the cut)

In the language of CDrama costume (which is not, precisely, the language of actual historical clothing), Jin Guangyao has chosen to dress as a minister instead of as a chevalier. This is partly an artifact of his mother's ideas about a gentleman. It also suggests that he’s content with the sort of career that's available to a bastard of a noble house--not inheriting the noble title, but having enough favor to rise in power. 

It may also be a ruse to make him seem like he's not a strong cultivator and not a strong fighter, when in fact he is both, at least by the time he’s throwing death chords at Jiang Cheng, much later in the show. 

Mingjue makes all kinds of grumpy faces and snarky remarks to let everyone know that he fucking hates Jin Guangyao.  Xichen agrees to his “nice refugee camp with only a little death” plan, with no qualifications.

Now we get to see Jin Guangyao's manipulation of Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen says that Nie Mingjue wants a plan that’s more killy, because he believes in punishing evil. JGY deliberately misunderstands this, pretending that Lan Xichen said he, JGY, is evil, kind of forcing LXC to reassure him and take his side in an argument that isn’t actually happening. 

They have a little handholding while bowing, and then after Lan Xichen leaves, Jin Guangyao puts on his evil face and has all the prisoners killed behind the big closed door.  

This is done in such a violent fashion that the blood apparently flows up several stairs to the door, and over the tall raised threshold, before flowing downward toward the camera. Some evil is so extreme that even traditional Chinese doorway architecture can’t stop it.

Run To the Rock

Then we go outside to where Wei Wuxian is standing on a rocky outcropping, thinking it would be a good strategic spot to choose if he's ever in a battle where he wants to commit suicide right quick.

Lan Wangji comes to join him and admire the view, not knowing yet that this view, or one a whole lot like it, is going to be seared into his memory for most of his life.

Lan Wangji is becoming more and more committed to Wei Wuxian, more and more inexorably joined to him, but he still doesn't agree with him. So they each have this comfort in each others' presence at the same time as being massively in conflict.

Wei Wuxian asks him what he thinks of all the politicking and murdering. Who is good and who is evil? LWJ doesn't answer because WWX is leaking black smoke, so he grabs him and tells him to concentrate.  Lan Wangji is, incidentally, wearing Princess-Leia quantities of lip gloss.

Lan Wangji asks if Wei Wuxian would like to learn a new tune, "Absterge" according to Netflix. The fuck? [op looks it up in the dictionary]. "To cleanse, especially by wiping." Also known as aftercare. Netflix. Honey. This word is MIDDLE FRENCH. Will you knock it the fuck off?

So anyway, instead of answering his question about who is good and who is evil, LWJ asks if he wants to learn a song called "Cleansing." Wei Wuxian says “hey babe, are you fucking kidding me?” 

His actual words are "you doubt me too?" meaning "you think I also took the missing 4th chunk of Yin iron to make my ugly tiger amulet, rather than obviously having used that giant sword I pulled out of the turtle?"  

Lan Wangji mentally replays Wen Ruohan's questions in his head--the questions he barked at Wei Wuxian right before choking him unconscious--which Lan Wangji also feels entitled to know the answers to. Fuck you, Lan Wangji. He answers WWX with "when did you forge your amulet?" Which is his way of saying "yes, I doubt you."

Wei Wuxian kindly refrains from saying "while we were on a break, bitch" and instead tells him the exact truth--I found a yin iron sword in the turtle--but says it in his patented "make it sound like a lie" way. 

LWJ keeps grilling him, eventually coming out and saying dude, you knew the sword was Yin iron, why did you need to use it?

This is the crucial question--why WWX broke his first promise, to Lan Yi, which was to try to get rid of the Yin Iron. He won’t tell anyone the answer, which is that he needs to use it because he can't cultivate normally, because he lost his golden core. He made a lot of promises before that happened, and he probably expected to keep them. But without his core, everything changed; without his core, he’s a different person, so it’s maybe not fair to expect him to honor his previous promises. 

I’m reminded of my grandfather, who was the oldest son of an old southern US family, with lots of expectations as the firstborn. He went off to WWI as a soldier, expecting to die. He didn’t die, and so from that point on, he regarded his life as a gift. He felt could do whatever he wanted with it, and let go of expectations from before the war. He moved to Paris and took up with a glamorous divorcee 7 years older than him (my Grandma, eventually). 

The actual point of that story, other than OP having cool grandparents, is that when you think you’re going to die, and then you don’t die, your ideas about what you owe to people can change quite a bit. Wei Wuxian expected to die in the Burial Mounds; he expected to die at Nightless City; he expects it, over and over, and each time he doesn’t die, he gets further and further from being what everyone else wants him to be. And--a lot like soldiers returning from a war-- NOBODY in his life knows how to talk to him about it. 

Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji to back off, Lan Wangji says why aren't you letting me help you, and they are once again on the edge of the same fight they keep having. Lan Wangji does some impassioned arm holding while Wei Wuxian says he's not like Wen Ruohan. 

Romantic Duet #1

The argument is interrupted by screams and killing, so they go to check it out, and find the Jins hunting down some prisoners for sport. They arrive in time to save two people. Yay?

Jin ZIxun acts like a jerk, as always. The new element is that per Jin Guangshan, anyone concerned with Yin Iron shouldn't be alive.  He says that the Lan and Nie clans agreed, and challenges Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji stops him from responding, grabbing his wrist.

The Jins leave and Wei Wuxian refers back to their earlier conversation, saying there will be more resentful spirits now and that "Rest" is the music to play, not "Cleansing."

He gives Lan Wangji a long look and then pointedly removes Lan Wangji’s hand from his wrist, by holding his hand, which is some next-level mixed signaling. Lan Wangji totally deserves it at this point, though. He keeps pushing and pushing WWX about his cultivation method, but he refuses to discuss the underlying morality of it, or the morality of the killing going on right in front of them. 

WWX walks off, leaving LWJ to stew in his own juices surrounded by a bunch of fresh corpses. 

Lan Wangji fails his saving throw against the guilt trip, and sits his ass down to play Rest, just like Wei Ying told him to. So switchy!  Wei Wuxian, out of sight but not out of earshot, hears him and accompanies him on Chenqing.

This scene is slightly ridiculous and a whole lot sublime. Ridiculous because it's their first time playing music together, so it's a super slow, romantic, extended scene, but they're surrounded by corpses. And not the helpful, friendly, third-wheel-on-a-date type of corpses.

It's sublime because the occasion of their first beautiful, literally magical duet is an argument. And they are joining together to play beautiful romantic music - as a service for the dead. And they are doing it while they are on literally opposite sides of a literal killing field. And Lan Wangji is sitting literally in the middle of a wide open road; the sort of road that they will both reject, metaphorically, later in the show. There is so much about their conflict and their journey that is encapsulated in this one musical moment.

Lan Wangji, by playing the song Wei Wuxian said was needed, is telling WWX that he took his words to heart, that he is listening, even though they're at odds.

WWX, by stopping and playing with him, is acknowledging this. And by settling the dead souls together, they are both reinforcing their dedication to doing what's right even as they both struggle with knowing what that is.

When Other Friendships Have Been Forgot, Ours Will Still Be Hot

Now we have the sworn brothers thing. I understand, plot wise, why this has to happen, but why would Nie Mingjue ever agree to this? Lan Xichen's puppy eyes are just that persuasive?

If they ever crack your spine, drop a line If they ever cut your throat, write a note If you’re ever in a mill and get sawed in half, I won’t laugh (HA HA HA HA)

Tedious Party Time

Now there's a cultivation party, which is about as excruciating to watch as it would be to attend.

Everyone is lining up to praise Jin Guangshan. To be fair, he did provide shelter for most of the smaller clans while the war was going on. So being grateful is appropriate, but Clan Leader Yao practically breaks his own neck kissing Jin ass. Yao says JGY’s contribution was the greatest of the war, adding, "fuck Wei Wuxian; everything is his fault."

The Jiangs show up wearing mourning belts that show off their itty bitty waists, and Jin Guangshan makes shifty eyes like a cartoon landlord when he sees them arrive.

JGS praises Jiang Cheng, and asks when his fancy clan-leader ceremony is going to happen. Jiang Cheng says he's still in mourning so it's not appropriate. JGS is like “Oh...yeah," as if he totally forgot about all the Yunmeng slaughter, and talks up his friendship with Jiang Fengmian. He acts comforting while WWX manages not to barf.

Then the Lan clan shows up and there is nice encouraging chit chat between LXC and JC...

...and just, SO MUCH mournful staring between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.

Then the Nies arrive.  Jin Guangshan tells Nie Mingjue he's late, and that everyone's waiting for him. That might be true in the script but it’s clearly bullshit on the screen, where the Lans and the Jiangs are still milling around looking for the coat room.

Nie Mingjue--who, let's remember, JUST swore to be brothers with Jin Guangyao--looks at him like he's something that fell off a garbage truck.  Lan Xichen jumps in to maximize the discomfort by pointing out that Jin Guangyao should address Nie Mingjue as Big Daddy Da-ge from now on.

Then the Jins offer Nie Mingjue the giant fire throne because...he's the leader of the Sunshot campaign, I guess? Of course it's all a manipulation tactic, designed to make him say he won't sit there, so that JGS can elevate himself to head cultivator, or something? And sit in front of the throne but not on it? Cultivator succession seems kinda arbitrary. 

I swear to god, it wasn't until I was clipping this episode that I realized Wen Ruohan had two thrones and they're in different rooms from each other.

Finally everyone goes to sit down, but because there hasn't been enough fucking awkwardness, JGY stops WWX to ask him what's on his mind. WWX asks him why he's not carrying his sword, which made me laugh and laugh. Wei Wuxian must have been just waiting for a chance to ask someone else that question for a change. 

Jin Guangyao says he threw it away, because it was just a random sword, but he really means he had it made into a sneaky murder belt, that he will be using again in 13 to 16 years. They both fake-laugh and trade Mean Girls insults pretend to like each other. 

Everyone wanders around toasting each other. Lan Wangji goes to find Wei Wuxian, after first making sure that his hair looks good.  

Wei Wuxian is lying around on the steps, sprawling and drinking wine, and not, incidentally, looking for Lan Wangji. He continues to not seek him out and Lan Wangji continues to chase after him.

Wei Wuxian says "how about playing Cleansing?" but Lan Wangji says he's learning a new score. It looks like it's going to be another argument, but then Wei Wuxian smiles and kind of praises Lan Wangji for being stubborn. 

Awkward Marriage Proposal

Just then everyone inside starts cheering for Jin Guangshan to give a speech. Jin Guangshan is making a move to marry Jiang Yanli to his son, which is a big time power grab, given that the Jiang Clan is 1. vulnerable and depleted 2. has control of the Yin tiger amulet.

We get a very rare glimpse into Jiang Cheng’s inner mind, where he thinks that saying yes isn’t a great idea, but isn’t sure what to do. This marriage would make his sister happy, but could destroy the Jiang Clan's independence.

Fortunately, Wei Wuxian joins the party just in time to fuck up Jin Guanshan’s plans. Will this teach Jin Guangshan not to invite Wei Wuxian to parties? It will not.  

Soundtrack: Friendship, by Cole Porter (from “Anything Goes”)

Bonus:

[gallavich-forever]

I want to piggyback on a post I made a few days ago, because despite me trying to make things very clear in a few short paragraphs, I feel that there are people in this community who have gotten the wrong idea of me and my character, so I will try to clear up some of the most frequent things I have personally seen over the last few days.

1. Original post was never made in an attempt to embarrass anyone. MC was made aware I would be submitting a post about them before I made said posts. If they are at all embarrassed it is because of the fact that they likely don’t want anyone to see how childish they were actually acting. If someone in my community is toxic, I will do everything in my power to make sure the community is aware of them so that they can judge appropriately based off the evidence I have shown.

2. I see a lot of people putting the responsibility of being ‘the adult’ on me. That isn’t how relationships work. Despite MC’s younger age and lack of experience, they are still an adult, and have yet to take accountability or responsibility for the actions they preformed. I acknowledged clearly in my post that I hadn’t been the best either. I wish they would take the accountability necessary for having hurt me the way they did, which I will explain further for those who don’t know me well

3. I have a lot of mental illnesses and trauma relating to abandonment and rejection. This is from my family, from people who I thought were my friends, and from exes who I thought cared for me.

What actually happened:

MC clearly states in the screenshots I showed that “I was always gone.” I, like any caring person would, sensed they were upset at me for having been so busy lately. I tried to calmly explain, “I can’t always be around, it doesn’t mean I don’t care; I just like my space sometimes and have things to do.” At this point, I get a very passive aggressive response: “It’s whatever.” ‘Whatever’ to me means you’re upset with me in some way, or angry or annoyed. I also have high functioning autism, as MC knows because I told them, so being able to pick up on context clues, especially when texting, doesn’t always go over so well. I again was very cordial and polite. “What does that mean? What are you upset about? You can talk to me.” This went on for several posts, with me calmly trying to engage in a civil conversation and them blocking me at every turn. One of my triggers for trauma involves people being angry at me, and I didn’t want MC going to bed upset. I was doing everything in my power to try and just talk out the situation in a healthy way. I didn’t want to leave it alone and let it stew so that it eventually comes up in a huge fight months or weeks later. I have been in that situation before, and it’s not pleasant. I always find it best to deal with conflict the second it crops up, so it can be done and over with and no one gets hurt. Instead, MC shut me down completely and went to bed. Okay, fine. They could sleep, but I was going to pick up the convo when they woke up because we clearly hadn’t resolved anything yet and I didn’t want to let this thing get worse. I asked MC politely if we could talk once they’d woken up. They consented. If they had said no, I would’ve respected that and asked to finish the convo after work. MC then tries to explain that there’s nothing to fix or resolve. They’re getting super upset at me now and meanwhile I’m still just trying to figure out what’s wrong, and wondering why they won’t just talk to me about what’s actually bothering them, if anything. I’m not in a great state of mind now, as I’ve been trying and failing to resolve this for *hours* now. So now MC has to go to work. Th going to work part isn’t a problem for me, as everyone seems to assume it is. It’s the way it was phrased. “So look I’ve gotta go to work now.” There’s been no resolution, they’ve already expressed they’re clearly upset with me, and the dismissive way those words are said causes me to spiral in the worst kind of way. The words are said with something of a finality, and logically I know MC’s only going to work but they’re still pissed at me, so my logic goes out the door because I think they’re leaving me forever. For good. I have a full blown traumatic response, which I tell MC. “I’m having a flashback. I’m literally lying on my bed crying because I’m scared you’re going forever.” I make a mistake in this moment, again because by this point I’m not logically thinking of how to solve a problem anymore; I’m trying to stop a perceived abandonment, which I also try and fail to explain because I’m panicking. I’m not able to make what I need right now in this moment clear, because I’m panicking, but what I needed was patience, understanding, and reassurance to my panic addled brain that no, I was not being tossed aside like trash. MC instead goes from passive aggression to outright aggression, either not seeing or not caring that I’m not in the headspace to deal properly with that. MC leaves with a “Well, I’m clocking in,” without any further reassurance, despite the fact that I’ve clearly expressed I’m in distress. To leave someone who has happily taken care of you For several weeks in that kind of state and not show an ounce of care is harmful. Yes, it is my job to manage my own mental illness, but if you accidentally trigger a whole ass panic attack in someone, you should be prepared to assist in fixing the issue. Even a “we can talk about this later, but I don’t hate you and I’m not leaving you,” would have been sufficient.

This is why I brought this up here, because this is toxic behavior. There was no reason to be cruel. I was respectful the entire time we had our conversation, and while making my last post. Again, I don’t want people attacking MC. I just want you to know that for people who are vulnerable like myself, this is the kind of person you will have to deal with if you engage in anything more than surface level with them.

For those who never saw my initial post, the user in question is @mickchub , so you know who to avoid in the community.

To MC: I would really appreciate if you took some accountability for your actions and the hurt you caused, as well as the frankly terrible way you dealt with a situation that could’ve easily been resolved in 5-10 minutes. I would be open to a conversation again if you took responsibility for the things you did do, just as I have taken responsibility for my actions, which are as follows: I became reactive in the end of our conversation as a trauma response. I should have stepped away. I also did not make myself very clear. I was not as helpful as I could have been in being clear on what I needed and what my expectations were on how to problem solve. I’m sorry for that. However, the blame is not entirely on me. MC has things they need to hold themselves responsible for. When you’re ready, my DMs are still open to you. But I won’t force it if you aren’t.

[1994sunflower]

Being stuck with Michael because of the storm but we had a fight

i pushed this request up on my list just because all the snow emergencies, especially in states like Texas are so devastating so i wanted to get something cute and short out to kind of take your minds away.

in which you get snowed in during a fight

The silence was deafening. Even the streets below, which you could usually always hear filled with college students out on their lawns, partying, from outside of your apartment window, were desolate. 

It was to be expected with the multiple feet of snow covering everything from lawns to the streets themselves. Whatever snow plowing could be done had been minimal, not prepared for such a big amount, so it was too dangerous to even try to go out and drive somewhere. But somehow, the fact that the silence was even in your own home was at once frustrating and heartbreaking. 

The heating in your apartment didn’t do away with the bite of the cold entirely. You were still shivering, even when covered head to toe with your blanket in your bedroom. Any other time, it would be simple. Just cuddle with Michael. He always brought warmth to you, if not for the sheer fact of having another, bigger, body to yours then for the warmth in your heart at having your boyfriend so close. 

But yet, even when it was so obvious, it should have been simple. You were still laying alone on your bed with the door locked while he was in your living room. Neither of you having spoken in what seemed like hours, interrupted only by frustrated comments at one another. 

Any other time, maybe you would have stayed away from each other for a while. Just to let you cool your heads and get past whatever it was that happened. But this time, Michael was forced to stay put in your house. Not having any other choice because of the snow. It was too dangerous outside, to drive or to be outside for too long without the proper equipment. Which he did not have because he hadn’t planned to leave your home for a while. It never occurred to him, or you, that anything would happen that would make him want to leave earlier, especially when, if he had the chance, he’d usually never want to leave your side.

Instead, you were forced to be under the same roof and dwelling in the anger and silence swirling between you, making it impossible for it to subside. You only spoke when necessary, when you had to feed him or when he gave you updates on the snow emergency. Even then, your tones were anything but forgiving to each other. It was awkward at best and each time you glanced at him, you felt a wave of anger at how stubborn he was being and by his clipped comments and answers to your biting or cold questions, he felt it too.

“I made food. Get some if you want.”

“Later.”

“Then make your own food next time.”

“Don’t ask if you don’t want me to answer however I want.”

“I just didn’t want you to be a jerk but I guess that’s too much to ask for.”

Neither of you had even seemed close to apologizing to each other. In fact, he had made it a point to barely look at you, which hurt maybe a little more than he expected it to. Which is why, it was better for him to be out of your sight. You left for your room and felt a bite of disappointment when he did nothing to stop you. 

It was a stupid fight. You thought he was being difficult and he thought you were being unreasonable. And now, desperately lonely and missing his presence with you, you could maybe see neither of you had been wrong. 

You hadn’t really realized how bad everything was outside. How, quite literally, you couldn’t go outside because of the snow. So when you asked Michael if he could, or both of you could, go get more groceries since you saw how the snow emergency wasn’t going to subside any time soon, his answer bothered you more than you’d like to admit. 

It wasn’t just him denying you, it was the way he did it so bluntly and without any explanation, as if you were crazy for just asking. Especially when he reminded you so rudely, in your eyes, that you didn’t need a restock. Which, he may have had a point. But just because he wasn’t overly cautious with his things and planning for the upcoming week, didn’t mean you weren’t. 

Your response maybe held more bite than either of you were expecting and you saw the way his jaw tightened. He was mad. Obviously not to the point he would get mad at others, he would never be that way with you. But still, it wasn’t the passiveness he held with you that usually would let you get away with most everything. And his resolve to stick with hat anger made you want to scream.

Especially then when you curled up deeper into your blanket, looking at the phone in your hand blankly when really all you wanted to do was go to the living room and curl up in your boyfriend’s lap. You missed him, you wanted the warmth and protection he provided, especially in a winter storm that seemed to bring out isolation and uncertainty. You hated feeling his anger towards you, were so used to feeling nothing but love. Anything else felt wrong.

You gnawed at your lip. You wished you could just apologize and pretend nothing happened. Because in a time where you were forced to spend your time together, no way to leave each other’s presence, with only each other, it wasn’t fair that you were angry and weren’t having a good time.

But you couldn’t apologize now. It’s been too long and by the cold way Michael was treating you, which you weren’t used to, you weren’t exactly sure how he would take it. If he would apologize back or if he would keep being angry like he was so used to being. He could hold a grudge, you knew, you’d seen it.

But that was toward everyone else. You were different, always his exception. You should have learned that by now.

Maybe if you had, you would have expected the soft opening and closing of your bedroom door. Maybe even have noticed it instead of being too buried in your blanket, shivering underneath, and missed it. 

You didn’t miss the sagging of your bed as a weight was placed on it. But you didn’t turn around. It had to be Michael and feeling him so close finally, knowing he came to you, made you yearn for him in hope that you would be forgiven. That you could finally enjoy your time together, even if you guys had no way of doing anything else but being in your apartment for who knew how long. That you wouldn’t be cold and lonely anymore. 

But you were sheepish, after everything and a little prideful, still hurt at how he talked to you and froze you out hours before, to want to make the first move. Even if the urge to throw your arms around him physically hurt to resist. Honestly, your resolve was thin and breaking fast. Who cared about pride when you knew you had been equally rude right back to him. You wanted to apologize, you knew neither of you had been in the right. 

And you felt the words right at the tip of your tongue, were already moving your blanket to turn around and finally face your silent boyfriend, probably equally conflicted as you were (perhaps more with how much he was unused to apologizing). But his voice beat you to the punch.

“Are you cold?” His voice was softer than you would have expected, especially after how harsh his tone had been previously.

You turned around quickly, coming face to face with him sitting beside you. His gaze was on the bed, however. It was awkward but after everything, the fact that he was trying meant a lot. Even when both of you knew that you weren’t an angel in this either.

Nodding slowly, you watched as he laid down. Lifting the blanket from your body, he slipped under it himself. Holding the other side up for you to move closer to him. Which you complied with, silently. You moved until your head was on his chest and his arm was around you, keeping you there. You could hear his heart beat. 

Just like you expected, in his arms and under the blanket, you couldn’t feel the cold you had been battling all day. The snow still falling through your window, the empty streets and dangerous ice on the ground were forgotten. You felt like you were in a cozy bubble. You were grateful and finally felt comfortable. Oh, how you wished that’s how it had been all day. Instead of the tense iceberg it had been.

Both of you were in silence, too in your heads to say anything. You wished you could just blurt out the apology already at your lips. But too senselessly embarrassed to do so. How could you say anything after all you had already said throughout the day, how you had acted?

But you didn’t have to. You heard his voice. “I’m…I didn’t mean to talk to you like that. I’m sorry.”

Relief flooded you. He wasn’t mad at you anymore. “I’m sorry too.” 

You reached out, touching his arm. It somehow made you feel better that he was just as cold to the touch as you were. Neither of you could find the warmth you needed without each other. Who knew how much time he spent stewing on the couch, just as miserable, cold and lonely as you were. “I shouldn’t have expected you to go out in the middle of a snow storm. It was stupid, I…you were right. I shouldn’t have said everything I did either.”

He paused for a second before pulling you closer, breathing in your scent. “Missed you.”

“Didn’t seem like it. You barely looked twice at me.” Your voice sounded a lot more tearful than you wanted it to sound but what was the point in hiding your hurt. You could have been nicer but he treated you like little less than a nuisance. 

“I don’t know how to act when I’m frustrated. I’m used to…letting out my anger with others.” He admitted. Maybe things would have turned out differently if he actually used his words to speak out what he was thinking, smoothed everything out. But instead, he let them go on silently in his mind. Leaving you feeling rejected and unwanted. Until it was too late and he was denied even your presence as you moved yourself to your room, making sure the door separated the both of you. “But I did. Miss you. Even if I looked like I wasn’t paying attention to you.”

“What have you been doing?”

“Sitting alone on the couch, feeling like an idiot.” His eyes were closed as if he was savoring the moment he was having with you right then after a day full of torture. 

“I hate being mad at you.” You played with the hem of his sleeve. “And it was so cold.”

You didn’t need to tell him. He was well aware of it every time he felt the innate urge to take you up in his arms. Even after how biting he had been towards you because he could never really be mad at you for long and if he seemed like he could, it was merely habit. But yet, you weren’t there. You were in your dark room to get away from him. And he felt stupid for forcing you away and depriving himself of the time alone with you he loved so deeply. Especially when the alternative was so lonely. 

“We couldn’t even enjoy the snow day together.” You pouted.

“The snow doesn’t look like it’s letting up any time soon.” He pulled the blanket further up, only resulting in covering you entirely underneath which you giggled at. He couldn’t hold back the smile at your playfulness. He missed that noise all day. “We’ll make up for it tomorrow.”

[sepublic]

Luz’s Online Experience?

           Talking a lot with @sterling-jay over the subject and discussing this; I noticed that Luz can be particularly persuasive and a powerful debater, specifically at the end of The First Day where she mercilessly gives Bump a peace of her mind until he finally concedes her genuine point. Coupled with her mentioning “Jerks online who want to debate” as one of her primary fears, and… I have to wonder if she honed her argumentative, debating skills from having to deal with those kinds of people as a kid, usually in online forums that she’d go to talk about her hyperfixation with other like-minded kids; Especially since the internet tends to be a place of solace for neurodivergent kids who can’t find others like them in their area.

           I’d see Luz as being SO passionate and into her argument as she brings up a bunch of brilliant points, and then she just gets shut down by a cruel remark (like some internet edgelord calling her “nerd”) and it HURTS so much, because Luz invested so much energy and effort, and yet clearly others don’t feel the same, despite apparently inviting her into discussion. Luz really seems like the type of kid who practiced her arguments and speech and really deliberately stewed over them during class and meals, getting distracted as she thought of the perfect rebuttal, usually within the shower; Because for someone like her, she just CAN’T let it go, because her hyperfixation is being trashed and she has to defend this, etc.

           And I think Luz was the kind of kid who easily fell for the kind of taunts and trolling that older people online would do, targeting neurodivergent kids who take things at face-value and are too literal and innocent to realize what’s up. I can imagine Luz getting into flame wars online, because some trolls deliberately aggravate Luz by trashing on her interests and saying dumb things, forcing Luz to go on the defensive as they mercilessly criticize what she likes in order to ruin the fun for her- And eventually Luz realized those people weren’t actually interested in debating her, just making Luz second-guess and doubt herself. So she learned not to bother engaging with those people and just shut them out- Hence why she defeats her fear by recognizing such people as not coming from a place of intellectual honesty, that they aren’t worth her time trying to convince because of this.

           That’s why it’s one of her primary fears, “Jerks online who want to debate”, because there’s always that one person on an internet forum who has to be “Um, actually” and deliberately try to ruin Luz’s fun and disprove her headcanons, all while acting so much smarter than Luz, all condescending and pretentious; Probably defaulting to that “Why are you so EMOTIONAL/triggered” response that’s frustrating and invalidating to Luz. And you know someone with a good heart like hers would NOT stand for that kind of talk on principle; And as the daughter of a nurse, she’d go into a spiel about how triggers are an actual medical term, only for Luz to be accused of “taking things too seriously” or “ruining jokes”.

          This kind of frustrating, constantly-being-egged-on harassment from others online- It could’ve really soured Luz’s experiences, making her feel even more lonely and unsupported… And it could’ve led to Luz explaining that it’s not worth one’s time trying to engage into argument and conflict, which she explains to King at the beginning of Once Upon a Swap- She’s been there, Luz knows how it feels, and she knows that it never ends well and is just playing into the aggressor’s game. And when Boscha bullies and harasses Willow during Wing it like Witches, it strikes a particular nerve with Luz, causing her to challenge Boscha; And for a less drastic example, this kind of unpleasant experience influences Luz to challenge Amity at the Covention, for King’s honor.

           It’s because Luz IS curious and genuinely thoughtful and willing to hear others out in a meaningfully critical sort of way, so she just HATES people who act like that, who come from a position of bad faith and aren’t interested in actually evaluating arguments. So she’s so passionately against the type of ableist trolls who make fun of people for being so invested into their hobbies and interests (because that’s “not a personality”). And it just culminates in Luz being somewhat cautious whenever people approach her online or in real life, because she’s not sure if they’re being genuine or not, if they’ll ever take her seriously, so what’s the point in being able to argue on her and others’ behalf?

          For a while, Luz could’ve been the kind of kid who has a brilliant argument, but it’s just… SO HARD for her emotions to not get riled up, to be made fun of as her voice wavers and her eyes water- Which means getting dismissed as unreasonable, ‘too emotional’, all that sorts of stuff. And so despite setting this situation up, Luz’s bullies manage to make it look like LUZ is the aggressor, that she’s the one throwing the first punch, when they were deliberately trying to emotionally trigger her into doing so. And as @sterling-jay suggested, that just leads to the word “Trigger” becoming an ACTUAL trigger for Luz, because of the way it was cruelly and inaccurately used against her in the past- And sometimes when people use it like that, it can launch Luz into a whole spiel about how that’s super-disrespectful to people with actual disorders and PTSD, only to be mocked for being so ‘emotional’.

           That means Luz having to learn to regulate her emotions, pretending to not actually care, to be more mature… Before she realizes that no, that’s also playing by their game, who cares what those trolls think? So Luz just blocks them out, ignores them, and continues to be who she is unapologetically, blocking anyone who tries to intrude on her fun without remorse. But what happened still happened, so Luz has a bunch of clever debating skills and rhetoric left over from those days when jerks online would drag her into flame wars for their own amusement. But on the Boiling Isles, especially Hexside… Luz might find an actual, genuine debate club in the Bard Track or someplace similar.

          She’d have an environment where people DO debate and argue on good faith, from a place of intellectual honesty- A place where people genuinely, critically think and reflect on their own and others’ takes! So Luz has this powerful, persuasive energy and debating skills that she’s built up over the years, but never had a chance to properly utilize in an environment where it would be taken and evaluated seriously; So like a lot of her passion and interests, curiosity and energy- Luz finds the opportunity to indulge and explore it in the Boiling Isles, channeling that skillset and ability into something good and productive… Like convincing a local principal to provide multi-track learning options for students, and not bend a knee to a corrupt system!

          And Luz’s fiery, righteous rage against injustice can come into play during a revolution against Belos’ dictatorship; Because she knows firsthand what it’s like to be frustrated by people who claim to argue on superior, academic merits, but are only really interested in just shutting you and your ideas down… Because no, Luz KNOWS that her and others’ ideas are worth listening to, and hearing out- And it’s just so validating to see people like Eda actually listen to Luz… To actually change their minds, or else explain their own thought processes in earnest, instead of just shutting the girl down because they said so.

          It’s this ability to really critically question things and evaluate if people are coming from a place of good, intellectual faith, that makes Luz ready to challenge all sorts of things, while mentoring and encouraging those who are in a similar spot to her childhood, but didn’t have any support- Until now. That yes, what you say IS valid, and if people can’t be bothered to explain themselves properly and/or take your argument into account- Then you shouldn’t have to listen to them, and at times; Just remove yourself from the situation entirely! Prioritize your own comfort and health, and don’t bother trying to play by the rules established by others who are trying to drag you down onto ‘their level’. Challenge the system, break its rules, and don’t bother vying for some kind of moral approval from others who don’t actually care about that kind of thing; And always remember, your emotions, your anger and grief, ARE valid…!

          ‘Calmness’ doesn’t necessarily indicate objectivity, it can be apathy operating from the comfortable status quo that is being upheld. And don’t fall for the trap of lowering yourself to their playing field, by assuming both sides have a point, because chances are; Both of you are operating from very disparate positions already. What others say may be coming from such bad faith, that they are not entitled to your ‘respect’, nor an actual platform to validate their terrible ideas. And don’t let yourself be blamed for making things ‘more contentious than they need to be’ when you lash out in self-defense; Because a lot of the times, the status quo that’s being disrupted is unjust and NEEDS to be changed, and it’s the one causing conflict by hurting people in the first place.

[universitypenguin]

Would princess get jealous if she saw Lloyd maybe talking (or what she would perceive as flirting/getting cozy) with another woman? While I know they agreed on an affair something tells me she’d feel those twinges of jealousy deep down 🫢

There are a few different reactions she might have, depending on the context of the flirting. She’s emotionally intelligent and great at managing conflict (after all, she is the oldest of five kids). Here’s a sampling of scenarios and how Princess would react to each. 

1. A woman flirts with Lloyd and he casually flirts back out of habit.

Let’s say he accidentally flirts back to a waitress one night when you’re having dinner. In this situation Princess would be amused, but she wouldn’t let Lloyd know it right away. Because seriously, who wastes ammo like that? She would hold it over his head and pretend to be upset just to watch him stew in discomfort. 

Lloyd only flirted out of habit and he’s annoyed that the whole situation is just a slip of the tongue. He wants to brush it all under the rug and move on. Princess isn’t about to let that happen. After all, you should set your expectations clearly in any relationship, right? Even if it is “just an affair.” Drawing out the reaction to provoke him, she lets him wheedle and negotiate. 

Lloyd grows more and more horrified. He knows he screwed up, but he also has no idea what one does to fix this kind of thing. He hadn’t intended to upset you. The flirting didn’t mean anything. He wasn’t interested in that woman! Then the fatal words leave his mouth: “It was no big deal.” 

Your eyes narrow. His skin prickles as you scan the room with a predatory gaze. 

“Princess…”

“Hmmm?”

“Don’t even think about it,” Lloyd says.

“It’s no big deal. You know I’m not actually interested, but a woman should always keep her hunting skills sharp!”

With a vicious smirk, you slide out of the booth and walk towards a lonely looking man at the bar. Lloyd tosses cash on the table. He’s on you before you’re halfway across the room and grasps your hand in a firm grip. With subtle pressure he guides you out of the restaurant. As you allow him to drag you to the parking lot, his lips brush your ear. 

“I’m going to make damn sure you don’t have enough brain cells to think about hunting skills for a long time, Princess.” 

2. Lloyd flirts with someone to make Princess jealous.

If this happened, Princess would be irritated. But in the interest of managing Lloyd’s behavior she realizes if she rewards him with the reaction he wants - i.e., jealousy, this will make the situation worse. She gives him the cold shoulder instead. He wants passion and rage, so she crafts the response of an ice queen. 

This won’t go over well. When he realizes she isn’t paying attention, Lloyd would approach her and move the situation into a direct confrontation.

Did you see him with that woman? Things are going well, he’s considering taking her home. 

Princess knows a bait question when she sees it. She tosses back the rest of her drink and raises an eyebrow. 

“Do you expect me to be jealous?”

Lloyd’s nostrils flare. 

She smirks. “You know what? I am jealous. I’m jealous that when we got involved, you did a much better job of picking a partner than I did.” 

3. Lloyd is genuinely trying to pick someone up.

 If Lloyd was genuinely trying to pick up another woman, Princess would be really hurt. She’d initially look for another explanation and try to evaluate his actions in context, and compare them with the woman’s response. But when she can’t rationalize them, she’d turn away. There’s no clearer signal of a lack of interest than going after someone else.

If confronted about the situation, she would be honest about her feelings and she’d tell him what she saw that hurt her. Lloyd’s response would go one of two ways. First, he might be shocked and speechless. Secondly, he could repay her honesty with equal truth, and explain that he wanted to gain her attention and make her jealous. Princess has never seen this streak of insecurity in Lloyd before, but she would hear him out. She would listen to his feelings and try to identify what prompted his behavior. Then she would reassure him she’s only interested in him and there’s no reason for him to whip up her jealousy. However… if he’s going to play on her emotions, she won’t tolerate it for long. He has to know what he dislikes, what scares him, what he’s comfortable with, and how he wants to be treated. She can handle boundaries. But she knows better than to allow someone with Lloyd’s personality to manipulate her emotions.

Even after prison, and therapy, and committing to being a different person, Lloyd still has a Machiavellian streak in him which has the potential to be very dangerous. Princess loves Lloyd. At the same time, she knows who he is. When it comes down to it, she knows she has to manage her own feelings and resist his games to keep their relationship healthy.

[lunarreaper-ut]

So this time i wanna know HOW killers and nightys relationship will Form, i mean how they progress? Also how and why they become lovers.. what do they like about the other and what makes them Fall for the other one in the end? I want to know about the Situation to it all happening and developes...

Also who and how do they confess to one another? How do they react to it? And do they get jelous sometimes? If yeah on what occasions? And how do they deal with it?

Another question is do those two any (more privat) activitys together? I mean things like taking strolls around town or going on a ride or going shopping or any Kind of quests outside from the Palace, etc? Are they spending time together other then when guarding sometimes and having fun or going on dates (later)? If yes where and what kind??

Many questions again uwu u can take ur time.

Oohh I sense another long one coming along~!

How does Nightmare and Killer's relationship progress?

It's certainly slow-going. At first the two tolerated each other, since they needed the other to get what they wanted. While it takes time, I would say Killer is the one who actually starts changing how their relationship progresses. Nightmare seems like a jerk because of his attitude, but he does care for his subjects and the people who work for him, even after everything that's happened. Nightmare takes the time to learn Killer's likes and dislikes without Killer even noticing, and even if he irritates Nightmare, he is still one of Nightmare's subjects.

To Nightmare, it's the mindset of "This person will only live for a short amount of time, while I have an eternity. I should take responsibility for that, and try to make things better.". Kind of like how you think of a pet actually XD

Soon enough Killer realizes that Nightmare actually tries his best to cater to others, and his perspective of the grumpy King starts to shift. He takes more time to observe Nightmare's behaviors and choices, and starts to realize that Nightmare, while he has an attitude and can be a jerk, actually gives a damn about his kingdom and his people.

Killer starts to change his behavior towards Nightmare after this realization. He follows orders with little complaint, doesn't poke fun at Nightmare as much, and even starts doing little things to make Nightmare's day better. Killer starts trying to hold conversations with Nightmare when he thinks it won't bother him, and tries to understand him.

Killer begins to realize his feelings just before Dream tells Nightmare he no longer needs to have Killer around. When Nightmare tells Killer that his job is done, he no longer needs to stay and that Nightmare will officially pardon him, Killer becomes very stressed and conflicted.

I won't go into too much detail because honestly it's really cute- but Killer ends up asking Nightmare if he could stay. He makes up an excuse about how he didn't really have anywhere else to go, and the bed in his room is the comfiest bed he has ever and will ever sleep in.

Nightmare, surprisingly (to Killer), allows him to stay.

Nightmare's perspective on things are a bit similar! In taking the time to find out Killer's likes and dislikes, he ends up seeing the more genuine side of Killer. Nightmare likes some of Killer's jokes, enjoys seeing him irritate his brother, and also rather enjoys watching Killer train. what makes Nightmare really take to Killer's company, is how Killer treats Nightmare.

Nightmare, for the vast majority of his life, has been used to being ignored, disliked, or looked over. Everyone has always preferred Dream to Nightmare. Nightmare spent a long time thinking of himself as nothing more than the "backup King". He is never seen as Dream's equal.

But Killer doesn't see it that way. Killer makes it clear that he actually considers Nightmare's opinions, and actually listens to him, (later on at least). Killer's snide remarks at his brother's way of ruling are amusing, but he never makes any remarks about Nightmare in that regard. At one point, Nightmare did ask about this, and Killer shrugged as he answered:

"I just think you're more suited to it, that's all."

Nightmare appreciates how Killer sees him as an actual King.

How do they confess to one another?

HOO boy, that doesn't happen for years

As in, "Killer is already accepted by Dream as a legitimate Royal Guard before that happens" years. This is mainly because of the two's insecurities about themselves. Nightmare is stuck in a cycle of low self-esteem because of his past and how the kingdom sees him, and Killer doesn't even think he deserves to be Nightmares Royal Guard, let alone be romantically involved with him!

The first one to confess, however, would most likely be Killer.

I would say more about how it happens, but I think I'd rather write out the scene later on, than just spoil it >w< Hopefully you don't mind being a bit patient! (๑ゝω╹๑)

I will say, however, the Nightmare probably won't believe him >:3

Do either of them get jealous?

Well, I would say yes, but there's not a lot of opportunities for either of them to get jealous! Killer and Nightmare are both kind of out-casted in that regard. They're both considered dangerous and intimidating, so not a lot of people approach the two.

That being said, even if there's not a lot, there's still moments >:3c

Most notably, Killer would get jealous of Cross. Nightmare, even though he may not like someone, will still acknowledge someone's skills. Cross is a very skilled Guard, and has been for hundreds of years now. He's good at his job, and is practically the golden child of the Guardsmen. Nightmare would say an idle comment here or there, praising Cross' skills.

Killer didn't really get a lot of praise at first, and since he and Cross didn't get along either? Well hearing his King praise someone else definitely rubbed him the wrong way. He didn't want anyone else to be better at his job, especially not Cross.

This resulted in a lot of late night training sessions for Killer. Even back when he hadn't fully realized his feelings towards Nightmare, Killer felt those spikes of jealousy.

There were also times later on, after Killer decided to stay as Nightmare's Guard, where some nobles would try to get on Nightmare's good side. It might not have been flirting per-se, but it was enough for Killer to decide to step in, claiming Nightmare was needed elsewhere.

As for Nightmare? Well, I did say Killer was a bit of a flirt, didn't I?

Nightmare has witnessed Killer act as such at various events hosted by his brother. Whether or not Killer was feared, some people couldn't resist his charms regardless, and if Killer made a move... Well I mean, would you deny his charms? (๑ゝω╹๑)

Nightmare would get irritated at seeing his Guard being so... friendly with others. He wouldn't immediately recognize it as jealousy, and would chalk it up to him being irritated at Killer slacking off. Nightmare is more of the type to ignore Killer when he's jealous, choosing to stew in his own emotions until he gets over it.

If Killer tries to talk to him, Nightmare might be a bit more cold towards him. At first, when Killer doesn't understand what's wrong, he doesn't do much about it and leaves it be. Once Killer gets to know Nighty more, he'll start trying to flirt with Nightmare to get him to warm back up.

It usually works >w<

Do Killer and Nightmare do any activities together?

Yes! Killer and Nightmare will often spend time together when they're not working! (Well, technically Killer is still working at these times, but that's besides the point XD)

When Nightmare and Killer become more friendly with each other, Killer begins to encourage Nightmare to take more breaks from work. Nightmare and Killer will do various things on these little breaks. Nightmare enjoys strolls in the castle gardens. He would tell Killer about how he and his mother planted most of the trees and flowers in the garden together, and how Dream and him used to play hide and seek in the garden once they'd grown.

Sometimes Nightmare will have a table set up out in the garden and have tea with Killer. They either have a chat, or simply enjoy the atmosphere together.

Nightmare isn't very fond of going around town. People will often stare and gossip about him when they see him. If Nightmare ever does need to go shopping, Killer is of course by his side. He tries to take Nightmare's mind off of the people around them, and tries to hold a conversation most of the time.

There are also times, at night, where Nightmare lets Killer relax in his room with him. Nightmare spends a good while before bed reading to relax, and Killer likes to sit with him. Nightmare asked Killer if he was going to read a book as well, and Killer stated he's not a fan of reading, because it gives him headaches if he does it for too long. He said it was because of his eyes.

Nightmare started to read to him after that. (He also began avoiding asking Killer to help him review documents, instead choosing to ask the assistance of his advisor more often.)

[thegeminisage]

Here's something I'd love your take on: I read a meta recently (would link it but I can't remember where, ack) that suggested that Sam is able to forgive John in later seasons because a) he's had the whole "family making unilateral decisions for your own good" thing repeatedly shoved down his throat, and b) whatever John did under this umbrella in their childhoods, Dean has done far worse by that point, and Sam HAS to forgive him so by extension he can't really be mad at John anymore (1/2)

(2/2) As someone who has admittedly only seen bits and pieces of the later seasons, this seems to jive with Sam losing a lot of his characteristic early-seasons anger, letting Dean call the shots almost all the time even when he thinks it's the wrong move, and moments of sympathy for John (contrasted w/Dean's growing resentment, which is so interesting!). But! I got some big ol' gaps in my spn comprehension, so was curious if you had any thoughts on this dynamic

wow okay long answer warning! i got carried away and forgot how to use punctuation. nobody is obligated to read all of this lol and the biggest part of the answer is behind a cut. anyway!!

first things first: i think a big thing to remember with sam’s characterization in later seasons is that it’s like...not there, and when it is there, it’s sometimes flat and inconsistent. because dean became sole the main protagonist after the first 8 (arguably the first 5 or even first 2) seasons, sam sort of got demoted to “side character we don’t know what to do with” along with cas and crowley. they all had good arcs pop up now and then (sam had some fun stuff going on with lucifer in s11 and s13) but most of the time the writers either don’t know how to give him a meaningful characterization or don’t care (or both). so we have to do a lot of that work ourselves. 

so, for example, when we talk about sam losing his anger, i like to read it as him OVERCOMING that anger to avoid becoming his father (which may even be where some of the seemingly sympathetic comments come from, because he’s trying to be forgiving instead of angry), but really...it’s that the writers forgot he had anger issues. in-universe explanation vs irl explanation, yk? and i think pretty much all meta about sam in late seasons is written through that lens, whether the writer of that meta knows it or not. including this one! i can’t prove any of this shit, it’s my personal reading, i’m making it up. like there were just SO many different people involved in the production of supernatural that there was a lot of conflict and contradictions in things like continuity and characterization. (most of the writers room hadn’t even seen every episode!) so there’s not one definitive way to go about it. in many ways it makes the characters more nuanced and in many other ways it makes me fucking insane.

as for sam and john and whether or not sam forgives him, i’m actually glad you asked because this has been driving me nuts for a long time and it took me SO LONG to pin it down - sam’s relationship with john is very different to dean’s, and i couldn’t figure out WHY. it’s not that he was “abused less,” it’s not that he loved john less or was less hurt by his actions, so why doesn’t he seem as INVESTED in everything that happened to them as kids? like he says in season 14 he had to learn to let it go and that it was all a lifetime ago for him. meanwhile i think dean still deals with it every day. he’s still stewing in it to some degree 24/7. so like what’s the difference??

i think it comes down to two things. firstly, that while dean didn’t have anybody parenting him except john (and mary, but only for a very short time that he could actually remember), SAM’S parents were john AND DEAN. most of the time dean was the one raising sam, and in fact he arguably did way more parenting of sam than john did. so the person that made dean feel safe and like he could fight back against monsters, the person he was grateful to, was john. but the person who made SAM feel safest was dean. he doesn’t have that same gratitude towards john that dean does and he never will, because of how john made him feel alienated and excluded from their family growing up. dean’s resentment of john is so tangled up in this very deep and unconditional love and gratitude for him that sam just doesn’t have. 

secondly, i think dean has a serious case of “i can fix him” re: john that sam doesn’t have and possibly never had. john just never showed sam the same kind of inclusion and warmth and trust that he showed dean (however rarely he showed it, and however fucked up it was). i think sam figured out very very early on that their quest for yellow eyes was either a long shot or straight up impossible, and that they couldn’t waste their entire lives doing it, and that even if the demon died, john was never going to change. dean 100% drank the koolaid - he really truly believed in a world where someday they’d kill the demon and all retire from the life and be normal and be a family again, because that’s what john said and dean took his father’s word as gospel. sam knew better.

so i think what sam did was just disengage. partially because he felt he couldn’t afford to nurse that kind of anger and not become either his father or lucifer, and partially because even though sam loved john, still loves john, he never needed him the way dean did, because sam had dean. so it doesn’t hurt him as much to just “gray rock” it. i think if sam stopped and really dug into it he’d find that he’s still quite angry (probably more angry on dean’s behalf than his own, at least at first, because in his mind he was able to move past it and dean was not, dean had it worse, HIS OWN trauma isn’t real etc etc), but he doesn’t do that because he doesn’t want to be that angry, and possibly even thinks that if he brought it up dean would jump to john’s defense and it would cause a fight, which the opposite of what a gray rock does.

as for being forced to forgive john because if he didn’t he would also have to condemn dean...i don’t think i buy that at all. sam is fine making dean his exception and he allows dean to get away with a lot of deeply horrible shit he would condemn other people for. partially because he’s dean and sam loves him, but in my ~personal reading~ of sam, this is also because once sam became an adult the weight of everything dean did and had to give up to raise him really sank in, and part of him felt guilty (even though sam arguably didn’t have a childhood either). you know how kids take care of their parents in old age to repay them for raising them? that’s sort of how sam is with dean in later seasons - he implies multiple times that he would leave the hunting life forever and not look back if it weren’t for dean.

and as a side note - sorry, this is only tangentially related - dean implies several times in later seasons that the job is where he finds his sense of accomplishment and self-esteem and meaning - he believes the world is a better place because of what he and sam do, and even though he doesn’t always like DOING the job, he likes the outcome. it’s weird because this is as close as we see dean get to even HAVING self esteem. sam, emotionally intelligent, would have picked up on that - and since he and dean have both tried to leave the life multiple times and have always come to regret it, i also think part of sam believes you CAN’T escape - certainly SAM could never escape so long as dean was still in it, because whether he meant to or not dean would always pull him back in. and part of dean doesn’t really want to escape because he’s made his peace with it. so sam stays, and i think even if he can’t find the same meaning in the job that dean does, he finds a lot of meaning in being there for dean. (this, like gray rocking, is also consistent with the seasons where sam’s sole character trait is caring about dean lol. but i’m happy enough to read it in a kinder and less bitter/resentful way.)

it IS worth noting i think that the most forgiving sam ever was about john was in the adam episode, where he said he understood why he was the way he was and why he did what he did, and when dean said they were alike sam decided to take it as a compliment. sam in season 4 is arguably at one of his lowest points - struggling with addiction, consumed by anger and hatred and the need for revenge. he WAS like john in many ways, and i think he justified what john was doing because it also justified what HE was doing. but what he was doing led to breaking lucifer out of hell and the apocalypse that followed, which is why i like to think sam worked so hard to reign in his anger afterward - both to avoid his fate and avoid becoming his father.

in short: i don’t think sam has actually forgiven john so much as disengaged from him and moved past it. because if he DID engage with it, it’d bring up a whole lot of stuff he didn’t feel prepared to deal with. one of the risks of gray rocking things is doing it to the point that you lose touch with your own wants and needs and personality, so i think by late seasons sam’s repression, which is much more sneaky and quiet than dean’s, has settled in to the point where he’s like “yeah whatever” about dad out of sheer self preservation - because otherwise, he’d end up going crazy about it like dean does. i think it’d do him a hell of a lot of good to be able to get to shout at john and finally say his piece/ he’s really afraid of his own anger, but i think it’d be healthy for him to get back in touch with some of it.

[spn masterpost]