#and to this day is still one of the only characters to actively do that
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Title: A Helping Hand - Part Two Pairing: office worker!Mingyu x office worker!fem!reader Genre: office romance, enemies to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, coworkers-with-benefits Wordcount: 11.6k Rating: 18+
Synopsis: Your usually bitter coworker becomes your hero during a train ride home, and your strict work-relationship changes... is it for the better or the worst?
Warnings: mentions of nyctophobia (afraid of the dark) and social anxiety, nsfw content (MDNI), public sex,
Disclaimer: The scenarios and depictions in my works are fictional and do not represent real-life situations. They do not aim to reflect the complexities of any culture, city, or individual. All characters are entirely fictional, regardless of names or descriptions.
MDNI: Adults only. Minors are not allowed. Any minors found will be blocked.
A/N: this fic was created before i decided to leave this blog permanently, and put on queue to be posted now. this blog is still not active. read here to find out why
Masterlists
Read part one here
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
Mingyu had made it his mission to find every possible way to make your life miserable, seemingly for no reason. One morning, you walked into your morning meeting right on time, only to discover that he had moved the meeting to another room at the last minute, causing you to arrive late. It was always petty, small things that your superiors could easily overlook. His antics were infuriating, and yet, on the rare days when he didn’t pull something, you found yourself believing that he might change. Wishful thinking, perhaps. Despite how annoyed Kim Mingyu could make you, you couldn’t deny that you found him incredibly attractive—especially not when he gave you every opportunity to check him out.
Mingyu's wardrobe consisted exclusively of tight button-ups and form-fitting trousers. Each day, he strutted into the office in yet another stylish and flattering outfit. His walk was confident, bordering on a swagger. If it was chilly, he wore a coat over his suit; if it was warm, he tossed his suit jacket over his shoulder and rolled his sleeves messily up to his elbows. It was the kind of thing you’d expect to see in a French romantic movie—elegant clothes, subtle showing off, and fiery glances.
Things only got more complicated after he stopped tormenting you. That morning, you came into the office a little late. You had missed your first alarm, and of course, the train you took had to shut down. You ran into the office, stopping by your desk to grab a few papers for the meeting. To your surprise, there was a yellow post-it note stuck on your papers. "Meeting moved to room 504," it said. You recognized Mingyu’s handwriting from all the documents you had seen him sign.
Despite the possibility that he could be playing a joke on you, you decided to trust the note—and, sure enough, the meeting had been moved. When you walked into the meeting, which had only just started, Mingyu sent you a smile. Not the usual evil smirk but a genuine smile. After apologizing for being late and making a small comment about train trouble, you sat down.
Since the incident on the train home a few weeks ago, things had been different. The station had been packed, making it impossible not to stand close to him, or anyone else. Air wouldn’t reach the bottom of your lungs, your muscles tensed up, and a lump formed in your throat. You tried to close your eyes and do breathing exercises, but it had no effect. When the train arrived, Mingyu walked close behind you as you were practically pushed through the doors. As your heartbeat quickened to an alarming pace, Mingyu grabbed your arm and led you to a secluded corner of the train. He shielded you from the crowd with his body, giving you enough space to breathe.
While that was comforting, albeit a little embarrassing, it got worse when the train had a minor accident. The sudden and aggressive brake would have thrown you across the train, seeing as you had nothing to hold onto, but Mingyu’s strong arm wrapped around your waist. He held both of you upright by gripping tightly onto the railing. Instinctively, you hugged him to keep yourself steady but tried to pull away as soon as the train stopped. Just a second later, the lights went out, and Mingyu gripped you tighter. Your head was pressed against his chest, and you could hear his quickened heartbeat. He was scared of the dark. You stayed in place, letting him squeeze you against him—pretending not to notice his shaking hands.
When the train started up again, you both acted like nothing had happened. However, ever since that day, your work relationship with Mingyu has changed. He was kind to you for once; he helped you out when you had a lot of work to do, he had lunch with you, and he left you little notes about last-minute changes in plans. Was he scared you’d tell people he was afraid of the dark? Were all of his kind acts some sort of backward blackmail? Despite these questions, your view of Mingyu began to shift.
You still watched him walk into the office every morning, like a predator stalking its prey. But now, instead of a quick glance, Mingyu would turn to you and greet you with a warm smile. When he tried to strike up a conversation, you pretended to be busy—which wasn’t difficult, since you actually were busy. Although your coworker had suddenly become a big part of your day, your most important task was to get all of your work done by the end of the month.
So you found yourself staying late at work, just happening to pick the same day as Mingyu to do overtime. Neither of you said anything to each other, you didn’t even notice that everyone had left except for him until you stood up to stretch out your stiff limbs. As soon as you spot him on the other side of the desk, his face lit up by his monitor, you jump back with a loud yelp. Mingyu breaks out into a big grin as he tries to hold back his laughter. You try to fix your disheveled-looking self, having taken out your stress on your physical appearance while working.
“What are you doing here?” you asked.
“Working,” he answered. “What else?”
“You’re so-” You sat back down in your chair with a groan and rubbed the tiredness from your eyes. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” Mingyu peaked at you from behind his monitor.
No wonder you hadn’t seen him before. Despite the man being over six feet, and bigger than most men in the office, he wasn’t bigger than the giant monitors that your office had gotten you. He had to stretch, just ever so slightly, to get his eye-line over the edge of the monitor. You narrowed your eyes at him, any of your normal social capabilities had flown out the window as soon as you stayed in the office past five o’clock.
“You’re wrong,” you muttered, “I do. Leave me alone.”
“You’re the one who interrupted me,” Mingyu argued.
You stayed quiet, long enough for Mingyu to return to whatever he was doing on his computer. An irritation bubbled up your throat as comebacks and retorts whirred around your brain. However, your brain was already tired and so, while you wanted to respond with a jaw-dropping comment, all you could do was huff and sigh. Looking at the clock, you realize how late it was. If you started going home now you wouldn’t get there until very late, which meant you’d want to sleep in just a little extra.
You closed the things you had been working on to pull up your schedule - of course, you had an early morning meeting. A meeting where you had to prepare a few copies of the new agenda you had been working on. If you printed them now, you’d still be able to sleep in. With a new surge of motivation, you clicked print on your document and hurried over to the office printer. It stood in the corner of the room, mostly gathering dust since you were one of the few who still used it.
You could feel Mingyu’s eyes burning holes in your back, but you refused to look back. Everything went smoothly, the printer started and you scanned your tag so that it could print out your papers. However, as you pressed on the document you wanted to print, it stopped. You cursed under your breath as you kicked the side of the machine - it didn’t help, of course. You sighed and put your forehead against your palm. By now you could’ve had the copies on your desk in a neat pile, walking out of here and leaving Mingyu in the dust. As if he could read your thoughts, you felt the tall man come up from behind you. He looked over your shoulder and let out a low whistle.
“This is why you should just send out digital copies,” he murmured next to your ear, sending an unwelcome shiver down your spine.
“You use the printer, too.” You try not to move, if you did you’d end up backing into his broad chest - and you could not be reminded of how good it felt to have him press you against him during that train ride.
“Ah, but I know how to push its buttons.”
At this point, you thought he must have been teasing you—pushing your buttons. Mingyu reached around you, his arms encapsulating you against the machine, and with one hand he pressed a few buttons to get the machine starting again - the other just rested on the printer. His face was right next to yours now, his entire body was practically engulfing you despite his skin never quite touching yours.
The hand that had held your head up now came down to lay on your chest as if it could help keep your heartbeat down. You didn’t know if it was his body heat, or if you were actually able to create this much warmth on your own, but you were getting increasingly hot under your work clothes. The printer beeped in approval of Mingyu’s touch, and your breath hitched in your throat at the sudden sound. Your papers started printing, but Mingyu didn’t move. He put his hands down on the hard plastic, keeping you caged in.
“See? Not that hard,” he hummed.
“I guess not.” You tried to swallow the clump that had built up in your throat, but it was an impossible feat.
For some reason, you turned your head to look at him. At your movements, he also shifted to look at you. His eyes drifted to your lips before he caught himself and looked back at your eyes. His gaze was heavy, and you almost couldn’t hold eye contact - at the same time it was thrilling and, like driving past a car crash on the highway, you couldn’t look away. It was as if his eyes were begging you for something, you just couldn’t figure out what.
His breath fanned against your lips, reminding you of how close he was. Your lips parted, as you were about to say something, but the beeping sound of the printer being done broke the tension. Mingyu grumbled something under his breath, but you couldn’t hear it over the happy, unaware, printer noises. He moved away from you, gathering all of your papers and handing them to you. As you took the papers from his hands, your hand brushed against his and sparks ran from your fingertips through the rest of your body. This was bad.
“Thanks,” you mumbled. “I’ll be heading out now…”
“Let me walk you,” Mingyu offered a little bit too quickly.
The cold air outside the building was a blessing in disguise. You were shivering, but at least you got the opportunity to cool down. You could barely speak to him, only making short comments here and there - and he did the same. Despite the cooling air, the tension was still there. Had he wanted to kiss you before? Was he sleep-deprived or something?
The train ride wasn’t any better, but at least you had a reason to be silent. He offered you the last seat on the train, opting to stand and hold onto the strap handle right in front of your seat. You kept your eyes on your lap for the entire ride, only looking up when you had to get off the train at your stop. As you exited the station, you quickly said goodbye and walked in different directions. When you came home, you quickly took off your work clothes, and washed your face, before making yourself a quick, and a little sad, dinner. Then, finally, you got to throw yourself into bed and hide away from everything that had to do with Kim Mingyu…
-
When you walked into the office the next morning, you were the only one there. You walked over to your desk, smiling at the neat pile of papers on your desk. Seeing as you had arrived so early, you went over to the coffee machine and made yourself a cup. As you waited, you turned around to lean against the counter only to see Mingyu sitting by his desk right in front of you. He was turned towards you, his usually neat hair now a mess, and the top three buttons of his shirt were undone - the light blue one, that fit him like a glove, and that he had matched with the navy blue slacks. He was slightly slouching in his chair, his legs spread out wide.
“Oh! You scared me…” You let out a breath and tried to laugh the situation off.
One of his hands beckoned you over and, for whatever reason, you obeyed. You were right in front of him, standing in between his legs. He looked up at you with big, puppy-like eyes and patted his thigh. Suddenly, you were naked and straddling his lap - riding him. As you kept bouncing up and down on his thick cock, his hands were traveling all over your body. You gripped onto his nice shirt, wrinkling the material.
“You’re doing so well for me, baby,” he moaned. “Fuck yeah, keep going…”
As your legs grew tired, your movements got sloppy. Mingyu noticed and picked you up with ease. With one swipe of his hand, he pushed everything off his desk to lay you down on it. His fingers gripped your hips, so tight that they must have left marks, as he slammed into you. All of his clothes were gone now, his bare chest and rippling abs on display for you.
“Are you going to cum for me, baby? You can do that, can’t you?” His voice was condescending, but you didn’t have it in you to bite back.
You moaned out his name, as your orgasm approached quickly…which is when you woke up.
You sat straight up in bed. The sun was trying its best to get through your blinds, and your clock said 6:14 am - sixteen minutes away from your alarm. You let out a shaky breath, gripping the sheets tightly as if it could help you get rid of your thoughts. It was impossible. Images of Mingyu’s blissed-out expression were ingrained into your skull. With little to no shame left in you, you reached over to your bedside table and took out the vibrator you had hidden in the second drawer.
-
When you got to work that morning, you went straight for the kitchen. Unlike in your dream, the coffee machine was not in the office space - yet another unrealistic thing, you thought, so you shouldn’t pay any attention to it at all. Right? You took out a cup from the cupboard and poured yourself a large cup of black coffee.
It was when you heard his laugh that you realized that you couldn’t logic yourself out of this. Did he know? Could he suddenly read minds? You turned around to see him talking with a few of your colleagues. Always the social butterfly. He was wearing the same outfit he had in your dream, the sleeves of his blue button-up deliciously rolled up to his elbows—showing off his veiny hands and arms—because of course he had to wear that today. He was too attractive for his own good. When he noticed you staring, he smiled and waved. You sent him a small smile and quickly left the room.
This was just because you had snooped around on his Instagram once or twice, you convinced yourself. He really should stop posting photos of his vacations or of him in the gym—posting half-naked pictures of yourself shouldn’t be allowed… at least not for him. You picked up the neat paper pile from your desk, suddenly remembering last night’s incident again. Kim Mingyu needed to get the fuck out of your head.
You were first in the meeting room, putting out papers on everyone’s desk before sitting down in your usual seat. A few minutes later, the rest of the team walked in - including Mingyu. He sat down right in front of you, and you felt like dying when he tried to get your eye contact again. The meeting started, and your supervisor thanked you for the documents. After telling her that it was no big deal, you didn’t speak for the rest of the meeting. You barely even noticed, you just nodded and laughed whenever everyone else did—none of the words they said processed in your brain, as it was far too busy trying to not think about having sex with Kim Mingyu. Which is why when he said your name, you almost flew out of your chair.
“Sorry, what?” You did your best to compose yourself while your colleagues snickered.
“You can do that, can’t you?” he repeated.
“Are you going to cum for me, baby? You can do that, can’t you?”
You wanted to hide under the table, desperate to hide the way your face started heating up.
“Book a dinner at the restaurant?” he added when he saw you hesitate to answer.
“Oh, sure.” You cleared your throat. “... which restaurant?”
The rest of your team laughed again, someone commenting on how you should start getting more sleep. You had slept. You had slept wonderfully, in fact, but you couldn’t tell them that. Your supervisor told you that she’d write the name down for you and that you just had to call and check if they had anything open for a party of 25—the number of people working on the company’s latest project. You quickly agreed and accepted the note from her.
The week couldn’t go any slower, but eventually, you got to Friday. You had called the restaurant and booked it up for the following week, and you had finished all of your tasks. Everything was looking up for you, and the dream of Mingyu was hidden in the back of your brain. Although, you couldn’t help but try to avoid him. It was difficult enough to look him in the eye, let alone have a conversation with him. The most you could do was sit silently at your desk while he worked at his desk right in front of you, and even that was difficult.
Mingyu picked up on your weird behavior during that first meeting and immediately got worried that he had gone too far by the printer. He tried talking to you, but it was impossible. You always found an excuse to avoid him - whether it was another colleague calling your name, that he couldn’t hear, or if you had extra work you had to get done. Now, at the end of the week, he knew that you had finished all of your work as your boss had just praised you for it in front of him.
The next time Mingyu tried to talk to you, you were standing in the kitchen, waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing. The rich aroma of freshly ground coffee beans filled the air, and the gentle hum of the machine was oddly soothing. Mingyu approached his presence immediately setting your nerves on edge.
“Hey,” he said, his tone casual yet expectant.
You felt a pang of panic and quickly blurted out, “Oh, I just remembered—I forgot something in the storage room.”
Without waiting for his response, you abandoned your half-filled coffee cup on the counter and hurried out of the kitchen, your heart racing.
Mingyu watched you go, frustration was evident in his eyes. He had had enough of your evasions. Determined to get to the bottom of things, he followed you to the storage room.
When he walked in, the dim lighting cast long shadows over the stacks of boxes and shelves. He found you standing in a corner, nervously picking at your fingernails. You weren’t searching for anything; instead, you were doing absolutely nothing to find the supposed item you had forgotten. Your eyes were fixed on the floor, and your shoulders were tense, betraying your unease.
“What are you doing here?” you asked quickly.
“I need to talk to you.” Mingyu walked closer to you, and you had nowhere to go except to press yourself against the wall.
“No, you don’t,” you peeped.
“Did I do something?”
“No-”
“Then what’s your problem with me? Why are you ignoring me?”
“Mr. Kim-”
“Did I go too far by the printer? I’m sorry if I did- I really am, Y/N. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just wish we could talk about it-”
“I wasn’t uncomfortable,” you interrupted.
“... then why have you been ignoring me?”
You scoffed and tried to argue that you actually hadn’t ignored him, it must have just seemed like it since you had been so busy. But Mingyu quickly caught onto your bullshit.
“Y/N, please. Talk to me.” He sighed. “I know I’ve been an ass to you, and I’m sorry, but I’ve been trying to make it up to you ever since the- the train…”
“Mr. Kim-”
“Mingyu,” he said, “please.”
“Mingyu… you didn’t do anything, I promise. I just…” How were you supposed to tell him that you had a dream about him fucking you and that you then masturbated to the thought of said dream? Yeah… maybe leave that last part out. Still, you owed him some sort of explanation.
“Has something happened? Did someone tell you something?” He sounded worried.
“No- no… I just had… a dream about you.” You practically whispered out the last part.
“A dream?” Not only was Kim Mingyu attractive, smart, and funny, but he apparently also had super-sonic hearing.
“Yeah… it’s awkward, I’m sorry. This is why I didn’t want to tell you-”
Instead of backing away, like you thought he would, he walked closer to you. Your back was against the cold wall now, you had nowhere to go unless you wanted to jump over an old table or crash through a shelf. Parkour was not your strong suit, and definitely not in heels, so you stayed in place.
“What was the dream about?” He was towering over you again, a teasing smile playing on his lips.
“Mingyu, please…” you whined. “It was embarrassing enough to dream it, don’t make me say it out loud.”
“I want to know how you dream of me,” he said and put his arm on the wall behind you.
Your breath hitched in your throat as he inched closer to you. His forehead was almost touching yours. In his eyes, you could see that same heaviness that you felt the night you were doing overtime with him. You felt compelled to tell him, you had to see where this would lead.
“We were in the office.” Your eyes darted to his lips as he wet them with the tip of his tongue. “I had just arrived, and you were the only one there…”
“Uh-huh,” he hummed. “And then?”
“Then you beckoned me over to your desk and…” Your face flushed. “Please don’t make me say it, Mingyu.”
“I want to hear what I did to you for you to get so flustered.” He reached up to cup your face with the hand that wasn’t still on the wall behind you. “Come on, baby. Spit it out.”
“I fucked you in your office chair.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “Then you had your way with me on your desk…”
“And did you cum, baby?” he muttered.
You couldn’t answer, the words stuck in your throat. He grinned and leaned his forehead against yours. The feeling of his, much colder, skin against your flustered face made your eyes flutter shut. Now that you couldn’t see him looking at you, you gathered up the strength to continue.
“I woke up before I could cum,” you admitted.
“What a shame…” He paused and watched as you bit down on your bottom lip. “Unless you took care of it afterward… did you touch yourself to the thought of me, baby?”
“Yes…” you breathed out.
“Good,” he murmured, “I’ve done it too.”
“You have?” You opened your eyes again.
“Believe me,” he said, “You’re not the only one with dirty dreams, sweetheart… Do you want me to make your dreams come true?”
You thought that you hadn’t heard him right, or that you were dreaming of him again. But when you nodded, and he leaned in, your breath hitched in anticipation. When his lips finally pressed against yours, the firm, demanding pressure confirmed that this wasn’t just a figment of your imagination.
His kiss was intense, igniting a primal hunger within you. The warmth of his mouth, the taste of him, was far better than any fantasy. Your hands instinctively gripped his shirt, pulling him closer, desperate to feel more of him. Mingyu’s hands roamed your back, pressing you tightly against his body, the heat between you rising rapidly.
Every touch, every movement, fueled the fire inside you. The real Kim Mingyu was solid, warm, and undeniably present, far surpassing any wild thoughts your mind could conjure. This was raw, physical desire, a craving that demanded to be satisfied.
That’s how you ended up on the old table in the storage room, with Mingyu’s cock buried deep in your cunt. His strong hands gripped your waist hard, and he used that grip to mercilessly pound into you. The two of you had barely had time to take off your clothes properly; your pants were shoved down to your ankles, and your shirt pulled up to expose the swell of your breast, meanwhile, the bottom of Mingyu’s shirt was pulled between his teeth, keeping it out of the way for him to continue absolutely ruining you. Mingyu’s pants were pulled down just far enough for him to pull his dick out, and you hoped that his pants are dark enough to hide the stain that your juices are definitely leaving on him.
“Don’t stop-” you hissed out through gritted teeth.
While the storage unit was secluded, it wasn’t soundproof. You tried your best to contain all of your noises, but Mingyu seemed to have a mission to push all of your buttons until you were screaming his name. One of his hands traveled from your hip to your clit, where he furiously rubbed small circles over the bud. You were practically convulsing on the table at this point, clenching around him sporadically.
“Fuck- I’m gonna cum-”
“Yes- shit- cum inside me,” you moaned.
The man above you lost his mind at your words, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he pushed his hips against yours. He came, and you soon followed him into paradise from his work on your clit. Mingyu’s form slumped over yours, his head lying by your shoulder. With a groan, he pulled out of you. Before his cum could trickle out of you, he pulled your panties and your pants back up.
“Don’t want you to make a mess and expose us, right?” he hummed. “Can you keep it in for me, baby?”
You couldn’t respond and only nodded yes. While you lay still on the table, Mingyu got dressed. The shuffling of his clothes slowly woke you up from your drowsed state, and you slowly sat up as you heard him buckling his belt. He had managed to tuck his wrinkly shirt into his pants, although it didn’t look as proper as it did this morning. He noticed you staring when he put the belt through the final hoop. Mingyu’s hair was a mess, probably from your relentless tugging on it, and his pupils were blown out.
“Do I look okay?” he asked with a small smile.
“You looked like you just got fucked in a storage room,” you deadpanned as you started fixing your clothes.
“I’m not the one who got fucked,” he argued, grinning wide.
“Don’t talk semantics with me right now.” You groaned.
As you stood up your legs were a little shaky, but, even worse, you could feel Mingyu’s cum dripping out of you and soiling your panties. The fact that you were getting turned on by it was something you didn’t dare say out loud. Mingyu’s cocky grin at your facial expression was embarrassing enough.
“Same time next week?” he joked.
“Fuck off.”
-
And yet, just a few days later, you were back in the storage room with Mingyu. It wasn’t your fault that he had a body sculpted by the gods, and possibly the best dick you’ve ever had. Despite hating him outside of this storage unit, you let yourself love the way his large hands manhandle you in that storage room. There’s always an urgency to Mingyu’s touch and you can’t tell if it’s because he wants to get it over with, or if he’s just that into you.
Every time you're free, from then on, you leave little post-it notes on his desk, and he does the same for you. Usually, it’s a question like “Got time?” or “Meet up later?”, but when one of you is feeling particularly needy—like when Mingyu decided to wear a tight-fitting t-shirt instead of his usual button-ups—you just write “five minutes”.
That wasn’t the only way the two of you got creative. Sometimes you didn’t make it all the way to the storage room, sometimes Mingyu would sneak you into a bathroom or a meeting room with curtains. After a few weeks of this, you’d been eaten out in your usual meeting chair, fucked against a bathroom mirror, and you had cum more times than you could count in that storage room.
At this point, you got embarrassed whenever your coworkers said they were going to the storage room - if only they knew. One of them almost found out once. You were unsure of who it was, but while Mingyu was eating you out in the storage room someone had tried to get in. The footsteps could be heard outside the door, and you had desperately tried to push Mingyu away. With a mischievous look in his eyes, he continued eating you out on the old, creaky, table. You didn’t try to fight it, instead throwing a hand over your mouth and hoping that the door was locked. Luckily for you, it was. Mingyu had known but said nothing to you at the moment. You punished him with ignoring his pleas for sex for a few days, before eventually giving in to your urges.
It’s late, and you’re still in the office—working overtime, just like the evening that it all started. You were sitting in front of your computer, still working on a current project that you had been procrastinating on. It wasn’t the fault of Mingyu; the frequent sex with him had, surprisingly, led to the two of you getting a better work ethic. Getting your frustrations out on each other worked wonders on your projects, to the point where your supervisor praised you both for the amount of work you had gotten done.
Mingyu sits by the desk in front of you, unlike you he is not working. He was watching you, and you knew it. You could feel him undressing you with his eyes—if it was one thing that he did like his life depended on it, it was getting horny by the slightest things. You had gotten slightly undressed; you had unbuttoned the top buttons on your shirt—it really only exposed your collarbones.
“Y/N,” Mingyu rasped.
“Not now, I’m still working,” you muttered.
He groaned, throwing his head back and bumping his head on the back of his chair. You chuckled, not taking your eyes away from your screen—yet, you knew that he was pouting. Still not looking up, you heard him get up and walk behind you. He placed his warm hands on your shoulders, the weight of them forced you to relax your stiff muscles. Gently, he started working his thumbs into your flesh.
“You could use a break,” he hummed.
“I have to get this done,” you said, trying to bite back the sounds Mingyu’s hands were beginning to pull out of you.
“Just quickly?” His voice was right by your ear now, and he bent further down to press a kiss to your neck. “I need you.”
“You always do.” You sighed, partially out of annoyance but also because Mingyu’s thumb had found a sore spot in your left shoulder.
“Ouch.” He chuckled. “I’ll remind you of that next time you want me.”
His hands traveled from the curve of your neck to your upper arms. As he loomed over you, encasing you completely, it got harder for you to breathe - your lungs would only fill halfway before you had to breathe out again. Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt his breath by your ear. Mingyu’s lips found your neck and he left soft pecks along your delicate skin.
“I’ll be in the meeting room,” he whispered in your ear.
Mingyu left your side, and a chill ran down your spine as his warmth left you with him. You were staring at your screen again, the light harsh on your eyes. With a frustrated sigh, you turned off the computer and stood up from your chair. You knew which meeting room Mingyu was talking about - because there was only one meeting room that didn’t have cameras or windows on the doors.
When you opened the door, you were met with the mouth-watering sight of Mingyu shrugging off his button-up - his muscles moving delicately under his skin. How he got so ripped, you will never know; you just assumed he had been blessed by some other-worldly creature. He looked over his shoulder with a cocky grin playing on his lips, his canines flashing.
“You came,” he said.
“You knew I would,” you answered.
He turned around to allow you to see an even more heavenly sight and as he walked toward you, you were at a loss for words. Mingyu’s hands easily found your waist as he pulled you in closer, still grinning about winning the game of your attention.
“Yeah, I did,” he murmured before pressing a kiss on your lips.
Your hands were on his chest in a matter of seconds, pushing him towards an empty chair - getting no protests from the man in front of you. When Mingyu sat down, you got on top of him. You straddled his lap and connected your lips again, as you began grinding against his crotch. The always needy Mingyu gripped you tighter, his hands being his only way of expressing his deep desire when your mouth was drowning out his whimpers. Your movements never stopped, but your lips traveled from his lips to his neck - allowing him to make whatever noises he needed to. As your fingertips explored his exposed chest, testing out what would bring the biggest reaction out of him, you felt him hardening against your clothed core.
The pencil skirt you were wearing had ridden up to sit on your hips, and Mingyu took the opportunity to grab your almost bare ass. You remember the first time you had worn this to the office - you always wore slack out of comfort, but ever since your escapades with your coworker, you had wanted to dress up more - and the image of Mingyu’s, almost pained, expression had been enough for you to keep wearing it, that and how rough he fucked you during the days you decided to tease him with it. Today was that kind of day, as you slid down from his lap and onto your knees on the floor.
“I’ll bring you coffee from the place across the street every morning, if you please suck me off right now,” Mingyu just about begged.
“I was already planning on doing that,” you murmured as you palmed him over his pants. “But I’ll take you up on that offer anyway.”
You went to unbuckle his pants, and Mingyu lifted his hips off immediately. Words of praise slipped out of your lips at his good behavior, and he let out a soft whimper - you would have to remember this for later. After pulling down his pants, you let your nails drag down his thighs. He was visibly hard through his underwear, and it made your mouth water. You palmed him again, peering up at him through your lashes as you did. Mingyu’s pupils were almost entirely covering his iris, his eyebrows knitted together, and his teeth biting down on his bottom lip to hold in his moans. You licked along his clothed cock before playing with the hem of his underwear.
“There’s no one else here,” you murmured. “Don’t hold back on me, baby.”
At your command, Mingyu let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding in - a soft moan coming out with it. He nodded and lifted his hips up again for you to pull off his underwear. His pretty cock slapped against his abdomen, and you took it in your hand to guide it back to your mouth. Pressing a sweet kiss to his tip had Mingyu shivering.
You noticed his hands gripping the armrests like his life depended on it, so - before you took him in your mouth - you had mercy on him and guided his hands to your head instead. Mingyu’s fingers entangled themselves in your hair as if he had done it a thousand times before. When you took him in your mouth, he gasped and whined - he tried to push his hips up, but you pushed him back down again. The part of his length you can’t take in your mouth, you stroke with your hand.
“Fuck, baby,” Mingyu moaned. “You’re going to be the death of me… please, let me cum on your tits this time? No one’s around to see it—”
You pop your mouth off his cock but keep stroking it with the same roughness and fast pace, enjoying watching him fall apart for you. “You’ll cum in my mouth or you won’t cum at all. I’m not walking home with stains on my shirt.”
Mingyu huffed, but couldn’t bring himself to complain. “... could I cum inside you?”
You looked up at him with a knowing smile. At this point, you were convinced he had a breeding kink of some sort—even if you were on birth control, the thought of cumming inside of you still made him go mad.
“Fine.” You stood back up.
Mingyu adjusted himself in his seat as you took off your panties. You pushed the wet fabric into his mouth, and he moaned around it. “To keep you quiet,” you said.
He always got so loud when you were riding him. You stayed clothed and got on his lap again. Mingyu’s hands settled on your hips while you guided his cock to your entrance. A satisfied sigh left your lips when you sank down on him. Grinding on him, you took your time to adjust to his size—which was driving Mingyu to insanity.
“Please.” His voice was muffled by the fabric of your underwear and he peered up at you with big, almost teary eyes.
You take pity on him—such a big, brawny man and he can’t bring himself to grip your hips and have his way with you—so, you start moving. It wasn’t always that he was like this, but you always enjoyed yourself thoroughly when he was. Mingyu groaned and rolled his eyes into the back of his head. His fingers grip your hips roughly but didn’t use his strength to move you to his will.
“Oh god–” He let out a muffled moan as you clenched around him.
You brought your hand up to his cheek and cooed at him. “Who makes you feel this good?”
“You.”
“That’s right. Good boy.” You smiled proudly and pressed your lips on his.
Mingyu hungrily responded, pushing forward in his chair and wrapping his strong arms around your frame to press you further against him. The chair creaked and croaked, but you paid no mind to it. All of your focus had to be on Mingyu.
“Cum for me, please?” you murmured against his lips.
Mingyu pulled away slightly to look into your eyes, but you never stopped moving. “Inside?”
“Inside.” You nodded.
For the first time this rendezvous, Mingyu took control of you. His hands picked you up so that he could start rutting up into you. You brought down one of your hands to rub your clit, determined to cum with him. You’re close. The coil in your stomach is about to snap, and when it does you see stars. Mingyu let out a groan as you spasmed around him, and spilled himself inside you. His arms are wrapped around you, holding you close while he comes down from his high.
When Mingyu leaned back, his breathing heavy, you found yourself still catching your breath. He took your panties out of his mouth, throwing them on his pile of clothes—no doubt planning on making you walk home without them. The rawness of your connection lingers in the air, charged with an electric tension. A sudden, unexpected stillness envelops the room. You feel Mingyu's warmth radiating against you. When you meet his gaze, you expect the teasing yet unattached Mingyu. But this time, there's something different in his eyes – a softness, a vulnerability that catches you off guard.
Before you could process the change, he gently cupped your face in his hands, his touch tender and deliberate. His thumb brushed a stray lock of hair from your cheek, and then, with a quiet sigh, he leaned in. The kiss was soft, lingering – a stark contrast to the fervor of just moments before. His lips pressed against yours with a chaste, almost reverent tenderness, conveying emotions words could never express.
In that instant, as his lips melded with yours in a delicate dance, a realization dawned upon you. This wasn’t just a fleeting affair or a simple coworkers-with-benefits arrangement. There was something deeper here, something profound and undeniable. The kiss ended, but the impact of it resonated within you, leaving you breathless and irrevocably changed.
Mingyu pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours as if silently asking if you felt it too. And as you looked at him, heart pounding, you knew that things between you would never be the same. You pulled back and stood up from his lap, the weight of the kiss heavy on your mind. Mingyu’s eyes, still soft with lingering tenderness, followed your every move.
“Hey,” he said softly, his voice a gentle plea. “What’s wrong?”
You averted your gaze, focusing on the scattered papers on the table. “This… this wasn’t supposed to happen,” you stumbled over your words, your heart racing. “We agreed to keep things simple. No feelings, no complications.”
Mingyu stood up, his expression earnest. “I know, but…” He reached for your hand, his touch warm and reassuring. “That kiss… it meant something, didn’t it?”
You pulled your hand away, wrapping your arms around yourself defensively. “It can’t mean anything, Mingyu. We can’t afford to complicate things.”
His eyes searched yours, a mix of hope and vulnerability. “Why does it have to be complicated?”
You shake your head, taking another step back. “I can’t do this. I need to go.”
You paused at the door, glancing back at him. His eyes held a silent plea, but your own feelings are too tangled to unravel just yet.
-
You’ve been avoiding Mingyu since that day in the meeting room. The memory of his tender kiss haunted you, a constant reminder of the emotions you’ve been trying to suppress. At work, you kept your interactions strictly professional, dodging his attempts to talk. It was easier to bury your feelings beneath a facade of indifference.
Tonight, the team was out for dinner, a rare occasion meant to celebrate the completion of a big project. The restaurant was lively, filled with the sounds of laughter and clinking glasses. You sat at the end of the table, nursing your drink, and tried to appear engaged in the conversation around you. But your thoughts kept drifting back to Mingyu, seated just a few places away, his eyes occasionally flicking in your direction.
As the night progressed, you felt the effects of the alcohol more acutely. The room seemed to spin slightly, and you laughed a bit too loudly at a colleague’s joke. Just as you’re about to take another sip, you felt a presence beside you. It’s Mingyu.
“Can we talk?” he asked, his voice low, trying not to draw attention.
You glanced up, your heart skipping a beat at the sight of him so close. “Now’s not a good time,” you muttered, looking away.
“Please,” he insisted, his tone gentle but firm. “Just a minute.”
With a sigh, you set your glass down and follow him to a quieter corner of the restaurant. He stopped near the entrance to the patio, the cool night air providing a brief respite from the crowded, warm interior.
“What do you want, Mingyu?” you asked, crossing your arms defensively.
He looked at you, his eyes filled with concern. “I want to know why you’ve been avoiding me. Did I do something wrong?”
You scoffed, the alcohol loosening your tongue. “Do something wrong? You kissed me, Mingyu. After everything, you kissed me like it meant something.”
“It did mean something,” he said softly, taking a step closer. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
You shook your head, frustration bubbling up. “We agreed this was just a physical thing. No feelings, no complications. And now you’re trying to change everything.”
“I’m not trying to change anything,” he replied, his voice steady. “I’m just being honest about how I feel.”
“Well, maybe I don’t want to hear it,” you snapped, the words coming out harsher than you intended. “I can’t deal with this right now, Mingyu. It’s too much.”
The hurt in his eyes is unmistakable, but he doesn’t back down. “You’re pushing me away because you’re scared. But I’m not going anywhere. I care about you.”
“Stop it,” you say, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “Just… stop.”
Without waiting for his response, you turned and walked back to the table, grabbing your drink and taking a big gulp. You could feel the weight of Mingyu’s gaze on you, but you refused to look up. The rest of the dinner was a blur, the alcohol doing little to numb the ache in your chest. You sat at the table, isolated despite the crowd around you, and tried to drown your sadness in drink after drink.
Mingyu stayed at the other end of the table, a silent presence that you can’t ignore. You knew he was giving you space, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Each sip of your drink felt like a futile attempt to erase the memory of his kiss, the warmth of his touch, the sincerity in his eyes.
By the end of the night, you were too drunk to think straight, the world around you spinning as you stumbled to your feet. You lost count of how many glasses you downed in an effort to numb the confusing mix of emotions swirling inside you. The world around you has taken on a hazy, dreamlike quality, and your steps are unsteady as you attempt to stand.
Mingyu was beside you in an instant, his strong hands gripping your arms to keep you from toppling over. “Hey, easy there,” he says, his voice laced with concern. “You’re not looking too good.”
“I’m fine,” you mumbled, trying to shrug him off, but your legs betrayed you, wobbling beneath you.
“Let me take you home,” he offered, his grip tightening to support you.
“No,” you slurred, shaking your head stubbornly. “I can manage.”
Mingyu sighed, clearly unconvinced. “You can barely stand. You need help.”
“I don’t need help from you,” you snapped, the alcohol making your words sharper than intended. “I don’t even know you.”
His expression softened, a mix of hurt and understanding in his eyes. “I’m not a stranger. It’s Mingyu. Let me help you.”
You scoffed, still struggling against his hold. “Strangers can be named Mingyu too. I’m not telling a stranger where I live.”
He let out a resigned sigh, looking around the nearly empty restaurant. “Alright, if you won’t tell me where you live, I’ll take you to my place. You can sleep it off there.”
Too tired and drunk to argue further, you let him guide you out of the restaurant. The cool night air hits you like a splash of water, momentarily clearing your head. Mingyu kept a firm grip on you, his presence steady and reassuring as he led you to his car.
The drive was quiet, the hum of the engine a soothing background noise as you fought to keep your eyes open. Every so often, you stole glances at Mingyu, his profile illuminated by the passing streetlights. There was a determined set to his jaw, but his eyes flickered with concern whenever he looked your way.
When you arrived at his apartment building, he parked and helped you out of the car. The lobby was quiet, and the elevator ride up felt like it took forever. Mingyu kept an arm around you, ensuring you didn’t stumble.
Finally, you reached his apartment. He unlocked the door and guided you inside, the space warm and inviting. “You can take my bed,” he said, leading you to his bedroom. “I’ll crash on the couch.”
You nodded, too exhausted to protest. The bed was soft and comforting, and as soon as you lay down, sleep began to pull at you. Mingyu pulled a blanket over you, his touch gentle. “Get some rest,” he murmured. “We’ll talk in the morning.”
You barely managed a nod before sleep claimed you, the last thing you remembered was the sound of Mingyu quietly closing the door as he left you to rest.
-
The morning light filtered softly through the curtains, gently rousing you from sleep. You blink, disoriented, as you took in your unfamiliar surroundings. The bed was comfortable, the sheets warm and soft, but panic gripped you as you realized you were not in your own room. Memories of the previous night come rushing back, and your heart raced as you sat up, fearing the worst.
Had you given in to temptation while drunk? You quickly glanced down, relieved to find yourself still fully clothed, albeit a bit disheveled. With a sigh of relief, you slid out of bed, your feet sinking into the plush carpet. The room was tastefully decorated, modern but cozy, and it was clear this was Mingyu’s place.
Curiosity mixed with a bit of apprehension drove you to explore the apartment. You moved quietly, not wanting to wake him if he was nearby. The living room was spacious, with large windows letting in the morning sun, and the kitchen looked sleek and well-kept. As you turned a corner, you spotted him.
Mingyu was sprawled on the couch, his face peaceful in sleep. He was wrapped in a thin blanket, one toned arm draped over his eyes to block out the light. Your eyes fell on his naked shoulders—your imagination ran wild as his blanket was pulled up over his chest. Relief washed over you as you realized he had slept here, not with you. The tension in your chest eased slightly.
As you tiptoed towards the door, the floor creaked beneath your weight. Mingyu stirred the arm over his eyes falling away as he blinked up at you, groggy but alert. “Hey,” he mumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “You’re awake.”
You froze, caught in the act of sneaking out. “I’m sorry,” you stammered, feeling a flush of embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
He offered a small smile, swinging his legs off the couch and standing up. He was only in pajama pants. “It’s alright. I was going to get up soon anyway.” He stretched, looking around the apartment, and pretended like he wasn’t showing off. “How are you feeling?”
“A bit hungover,” you admitted, rubbing your temples as an excuse to look down. “But otherwise okay. Thanks for letting me crash here.”
“Of course,” he said, walking towards the kitchen. “I didn’t want you going home in that state. Are you hungry? I can make us some breakfast.”
You hesitated, still feeling awkward about the whole situation. “You don’t have to. I should probably just get going.”
Mingyu shook his head, already pulling out a frying pan and some ingredients. “You need to eat something. Besides, we should talk.”
His tone was gentle but firm, leaving little room for argument. You nodded reluctantly, making your way to the kitchen island and sitting down. “Okay. Breakfast sounds good.”
He worked quickly, the smell of sizzling bacon and eggs soon filling the air. The domesticity of the scene feels strangely intimate, and you find yourself relaxing despite the lingering awkwardness. Mingyu moves with ease, his focus on the task at hand.
“So,” he began, glancing over at you as he cracked an egg into the pan, “about last night…”
You shifted uncomfortably on the stool. “Yeah. Sorry if I was difficult. I didn’t mean to be a burden.”
“You weren’t a burden,” he assured you, his eyes sincere. “I just wanted to make sure you were safe. And… I’m sorry if I pushed too hard. I didn’t mean to make things more complicated for you.”
You sighed, fiddling with the edge of the counter. “It’s not just you. It’s everything. I’ve been trying to keep things simple, but it’s clear they’re not.”
Mingyu nodded, flipping the bacon. “I get it. This isn’t easy for me either. But maybe we can figure it out together?”
His words hung in the air, a tentative offering of hope. You met his gaze, seeing the genuine care and concern in his eyes. “Maybe,” you said softly, the possibility of something more settling gently in your heart.
He smiled, plating the food and bringing it over to you. “Let’s take it one step at a time. For now, eat up.”
You and Mingyu sat at the kitchen island, plates of breakfast between you. The initial awkwardness had faded, replaced by a comfortable silence. As you ate, the conversation started to flow naturally. You talked about work, mutual colleagues, and light-hearted topics, gradually easing into deeper territory.
After a while, Mingyu looked at you thoughtfully. “Can I ask you something?”
You nodded, curious. “Sure.”
He hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath. “Do you remember the train incident?”
You swallowed, memories of that night flashing in your mind. “Yeah, it’s hard to forget.”
He nodded, a small, wry smile playing on his lips. “You know, I’ve never told anyone this, but I’m scared of the dark. Always have been. That night on the train, when the power went out… I panicked. I couldn’t breathe. But then you were there.”
You looked at him, surprised by his vulnerability. “I had a feeling, I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“It was,” he admitted, looking down at his plate. “But your presence helped. You distracted me. I felt safe with you.”
His words touched something deep within you. “I’m glad I could help. Crowds have always been difficult for me. That night, it was overwhelming, but then you… you made it bearable.”
Mingyu looked up, his eyes locking with yours. “We helped each other that night. And it made me realize something.”
You tilted your head, heart pounding in anticipation. “What’s that?”
He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. “I’ve been trying to push my feelings for you away, to keep things professional. But after that night, I couldn’t deny them anymore. I just wasn’t ready to commit, I thought our arrangement was enough.”
The conversation lingered in the air, and the unspoken emotions between you and Mingyu were finally brought to light. As the breakfast dishes sat forgotten on the counter, he looked at you with an intensity that made your heart race.
“Mingyu,” you began, but he stopped you, his expression serious.
“Wait,” he said softly. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
You nodded, feeling a knot of anxiety tightening in your stomach. “Okay.”
He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. “I know I’ve been difficult to work with. Cold, even. And I want to explain why.” He runs a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture that’s surprisingly endearing. “My attitude towards you… it wasn’t because I disliked you. It was the opposite. I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, and it scared me. I didn’t know how to handle it, so I pushed you away.”
The confession hung in the air, and you felt a mixture of relief and confusion. “You were mean to me because you liked me?”
He nodded, a faint smile playing on his lips. “It sounds stupid, I know—believe me, I feel like a damn kid who can’t control himself around a pretty girl. But I thought if I kept my distance, it would be easier to ignore how I felt. Seeing you every day, working so closely with you… it was harder than I thought.”
You looked down, your mind racing. “I didn’t know,” you whisper, feeling a surge of emotions.
He reached out, gently lifting your chin so you met his gaze again. “I’m sorry for how I treated you. I thought it was the only way to protect myself. But I can’t keep pretending anymore.”
Your heart pounded in your chest as you searched for the right words. “Mingyu, I… I’ve been trying to hide my feelings too. I was scared of what it would mean for us, for our work.”
He smiled a look of understanding in his eyes. “You don’t have to hide anymore. Not from me.”
You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your unspoken feelings pressing down on you. “I’ve been falling for you, Mingyu. I’ve tried to ignore it, to keep things simple. But I can’t deny it any longer.”
His eyes softened and he stepped closer, closing the distance between you. “I’m glad you told me. Because I’ve been falling for you too. More than I ever thought possible.”
He cupped your face in his hands, his touch tender and reassuring. “We’ll figure this out together. One step at a time.”
You nodded, tears of relief and happiness welling up in your eyes. “One step at a time.”
Mingyu leaned in, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss that felt both familiar and new. It’s filled with the promise of everything you’ve both been too afraid to acknowledge, a connection that goes beyond the physical.
As he pulled back, his eyes filled with warmth and affection, he took your hand. “Come with me,” he murmurs, leading you towards his bedroom.
You followed, your heart pounding with anticipation and excitement. In his bedroom, the atmosphere was intimate and comforting, a safe haven for the two of you to explore the depth of your feelings.
Mingyu turned to you, his gaze intense but filled with tenderness. “I want to be with you. Not just for today, but for as long as you’ll have me.”
You smiled, feeling a sense of certainty and peace. “I want that too, Mingyu. More than anything.”
He kissed you again, the passion and emotion between you growing stronger. As you moved together, every touch, every whispered word, solidified the bond you’ve both been too afraid to admit. It wasn’t just about the physical connection anymore; it was about the love that was there all along, waiting to be acknowledged—taking the time to explore it. You were lucky you had the day off.
In Mingyu’s arms, you felt a sense of completeness, knowing that this is just the beginning of something beautiful. And as you fell into each other once more, you knew that whatever challenges come your way, you’ll face them together, one step at a time.
-
A few months had passed since that morning in Mingyu’s apartment. Since then, your relationship has grown deeper, richer, and more fulfilling than you ever imagined. To comply with your job’s regulations around relationships within teams, Mingyu was reassigned to a different unit. The transition was challenging, but you both found ways to maintain your connection, meeting during lunch breaks and after work, and sharing stolen moments that made the separation bearable.
As you sat at your desk, immersed in a report, the familiar rhythm of your office provided a soothing backdrop. Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared in the doorway, and your heart skipped a beat. Mingyu stood there, a stack of papers in hand and a mischievous glint in his eyes. He strode over with a confidence that drew every eye in the room, placing the papers on your desk with exaggerated formality.
“Delivery from the marketing department,” he said, his tone playful and his eyes sparkling with hidden meaning.
You looked up, unable to suppress a smile. “Marketing department? Since when do they hand-deliver reports?”
He leaned in slightly, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Since I needed an excuse to see you.”
Your heart fluttered at his words, and you bit back a grin. “Well, you’ve made your delivery. Anything else I can help you with, Mr. Marketing?”
Mingyu glanced around, ensuring no one was watching, then nodded subtly towards the door. “Actually, there is. Follow me.”
Intrigued, you stood up and followed him out of your office. He led you down a series of hallways, the usual hustle and bustle of the office fading away as you reached a more secluded area of the building. The quiet, unused conference room that used to be your occasional rendezvous spot, a hidden sanctuary where you could be together without prying eyes.
Once inside, Mingyu closed the door behind you, the click of the latch sealing you into your private world. He turns to face you with a smile that makes your knees weak. “I’ve missed you,” he said, stepping closer, the warmth of his presence enveloping you.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. “I’ve missed you too. It’s been too long.”
He kissed you deeply, the passion between you reigniting instantly. The feeling of his lips against yours, the way he held you tight, all of it sent a thrill through you. When you finally pulled back, both of you breathless, he takes your hand and leads you to a small couch in the corner of the room.
“So, how’s the marketing department treating you?” you asked, settling into his embrace, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek.
“It’s different,” he admitted, brushing a strand of hair from your face with a tender touch. “But it’s worth it. Anything is worth it if it means I get to be with you.”
You smiled, leaning into his touch, savoring the moment. “I’m glad we’re still making this work.”
Mingyu’s eyes locked with yours. “Me too… I know we’ve been careful at work, but do you want to–.”
“Don’t even think about it,” you warned him. “I finally got a promotion, I can’t be caught screwing a subordinate in a conference room.”
“Damn, so I can’t even be your dirty little secret?” He grinned.
“You can’t be a dirty little secret if everyone at work knows,” you argued.
“Ah, but our friends and family don’t know yet.”
“Soon, Mingyu,” you reminded him. “We’ll tell them soon. I just need to find the right moment to tell my friends that I’m dating the guy who I’ve been complaining about since I started working here. I don’t want to give them a heart attack.”
He chuckled and squeezed your hand, his gaze unwavering. “I know. And I’m not saying we announce it to the world, but I think they deserve to know.”
You considered his words and the prospect of being more open about your relationship both exciting and daunting. “I think so too,” you said finally, a smile spreading across your face. “I want to share what we have with the people who matter to us.”
He grinned, pulling you into another kiss, his lips lingering on yours. “Good. Because I can’t wait to show you off.”
You laughed, feeling a surge of happiness. “And I can’t wait to be shown off.”
Mingyu grinned, but his expression turned slightly more somber as he looked at the clock. “We should probably get back before anyone notices we’re missing.”
You took his hand, the world of the office creeping back into your awareness. “Yeah, don’t want to give them any reason to suspect.”
He smirked, leaning in for one last kiss, a promise in his eyes. “I’ll see you tonight?”
“Definitely,” you replied, your heart light as you walked back to your office.
The workday finally drew to a close, and as you gathered your things, a familiar excitement bubbled up inside you. The office buzz gradually quieted as your colleagues filed out, leaving behind the hum of computers and the soft rustle of papers. You made your way to the lobby, where Mingyu was waiting, leaning casually against the wall. His presence was magnetic, and when he sees you, his face lights up with a smile that seems to brighten the whole room.
“Ready to go?” he asked, pushing off the wall and walking toward you, his movements fluid and confident.
“Ready,” you replied, slipping your hand into his as you stepped out into the evening air. The city was alive with the hustle and bustle of rush hour, cars honking, and people chattering as they hurry by, but all you can focus on is Mingyu beside you.
As you walk together, the warmth of his hand in yours, you fall into easy conversation. “So, what do you want to make for dinner tonight?” you asked, glancing up at him, the streetlights casting a soft glow on his face.
Mingyu tilted his head, thinking. “How about something simple but delicious? Maybe pasta?”
“Pasta sounds good,” you agreed, squeezing his hand. “We could do a creamy Alfredo with chicken and mushrooms.”
He nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. “And maybe some garlic bread on the side?”
You laughed, nodding enthusiastically. “Absolutely. I love garlic bread. What about dessert?”
Mingyu’s eyes lit up mischievously. “How about we bake some cookies? We can make them together.”
“Cookies it is,” you said, feeling a warmth spread through you at the thought of spending a cozy evening together in the kitchen. “What kind?”
“Chocolate chip,” he said decisively. “The classic.”
“Perfect,” you replied, leaning your head on his shoulder as you walked. “I always love our dinner plans.”
Mingyu chuckled, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “Me too. I love doing these everyday things with you. It makes everything feel more special.”
You smiled, feeling a surge of affection for him. “I feel the same way. Even just walking home together like this… it’s my favorite part of the day.”
He stopped walking, turning to face you. The city noises faded into the background as he cupped your face in his hands, his touch warm and tender. “Mine too,” he said softly, his eyes searching yours. “I love you.”
Your heart swelled at his words, and you smiled up at him, feeling a rush of pure happiness. “I love you too, Mingyu.”
He leaned down, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. It was a moment of pure joy, a promise of all the simple, beautiful moments you’ll share together. When you finally pulled away, you continued your walk home, hand in hand, talking and laughing about your day and your plans for the evening.
As you reached your apartment, you felt a sense of contentment settled over you. Mingyu unlocked the door, and you stepped inside, the familiar, comforting scent of home welcoming you. The soft lighting cast a warm glow over the cozy living space and you kicked off your shoes, already imagining the delicious dinner you’ll create together.
Mingyu wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Ready to cook?”
“Ready,” you said, turning your head to kiss his cheek. “Let’s get started.”
The two of you moved around the kitchen with practiced ease, the clatter of pots and pans mixing with your laughter. You chopped vegetables, and the rhythmic sound of the knife on the cutting board adds to the symphony of your evening. The pasta boiled on the stove, and the rich aroma of garlic bread baking in the oven fills the air. Every so often, you stole a kiss or a playful nudge, the simple act of affection made everything feel perfect.
As the pasta simmered and the aroma of garlic bread grew more intense, you glanced at Mingyu, feeling a rush of gratitude for this wonderful, ordinary evening. “I’m so glad we’re doing this,” you said, your voice soft with emotion.
“Me too,” he replied, smiling at you, his eyes twinkling with happiness.
You nodded, knowing that you’d cherish every single one of these moments. And as you sat down to enjoy your meal, the table set with care, you felt a deep sense of happiness. Whatever the future held, you knew you would face it together.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
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Witch!Reader x Demon!Satoru. He promises to fulfill her wish in exchange for something. She wants to be seen as a human being instead of a monster, the only thing she really wants is to be loved, and unfortunately he knows that. He fulfills her wish, but in return he imprisons her in his castle and promises to give her all the love and care she deserves (but in a very dark way).
The Ritual~
Warnings : smut , heavy smut, unprotected sex, Noncon, Kidnapping, physical and emotional abuse, biting, size difference, Yandere Gojo, demon Gojo, witch reader, jealous, obsessive, manipulative....
( All characters are aged up/18+)
Minors Do Not Interact
Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report
Y/n's POV
I was born in a witch family. My mother was a witch too. So were my ancestors. I'm also a witch. I didn't know what was it when I was a kid. Is being a witch a good thing or a bad thing? I always used to ask myself. But all I knew was my mom always used to hide the fact from everyone that we all are witches.
So many years passed. I grew up. I'm an adult now. And I still don't have the answer that if being a witch is good or bad. But for me it became a curse. A curse for which my whole family got killed. The king hired to kill all the witches in his kingdom. He's such a powerful king. And that's why my family isn't with me now.
We all were unaware that they were attacking us. It was the middle of the night. I saw them kill everyone in front of my eyes. I ran away from there. But they saw me. I ran all I could. And for god's blessings they couldn't find me. Now I made a small hut in the forest.
All time fear attacks me that they will find me and kill me too. I can't live like this. I need to find a way where I can live like normal people. So I started learning witches techniques. Maybe any of them will help me? I started reading the books of my ancestors.
I started learning many magics. But none of them are for what I was trying to find. I never did witch activities before. I started searching in all those books. Maybe, just maybe something that will make me like the other normal people and I can live a normal life just like them?
I searched all I could. But nothing was related this. But then I found something. A book which is sealed. I looked at it. It was the last hope. I opened the seal. It was too old. Am I even gonna find anything from here? I opened the book anyways. After some time of reading what I found can actually help me. The things written in the book are:
"He got sealed. After all those trying, we all witches are successful. We sealed him. He, the strongest demon. He got birthed and from that day it was all the witch's job to end him. Though its not possible to kill him. He's too powerful. We all were also shocked that we got him sealed. He was birthed to destroy the world. He wants to rule it. He has destroyed too many places. He has killed too many people. And after doing rituals we managed to seal him. That demon, that monster's name is:
Gojo Satoru"
I kept turning the pages and the last page got my attention.......
Process to unseal Gojo Satoru
He'll fulfill your wish
My heart started beating wildly. Should I do it? It is mentioned that he is too dangerous. But he'll fulfill my wish. I don't have anything in my life. Does it even matter if I risk it? If I don't do it people are gonna try to kill me all the time. Then I should take a risk. I have to go to the place mentioned in the book.
The place mentioned in the book is the old burnt castle at the end of the forest. I've seen that castle from the young age. Everyone told me to stay away from there. But they never told me the story behind it. Today I got to know about the real story behind it.
The ritual needs to be done at night. So I collected all the things that were needed in the ritual that day. And I went there the next night. I wore a hooded dress so that no one could recognise me. And I was lucky that there weren't any people there. I quickly made my way inside the old castle with a candle in my hand.
I entered the castle. It was huge. There's dust everywhere. And the castle is burnt also. It made me curious about what happened here? I kept walking. The huge stairs from the middle. I have to go to the top room of this castle. As in the book there's a throne room which is the ritual room. I went up there.
I pushed the door open and my mouth was wide open by the beauty of the throne room. I wondered what it looked like when it wasn't burnt. I went towards the throne. I don't have enough time to do the ritual. I quickly set up what was written in the book. Then lit up all the candles. Then started doing the ritual. My heart was thumping against my chest.
As I completed the spell. The wind started flowing heavily. Suddenly all the candles were extinguished together. Then the wind stopped flowing. And all of a sudden all the candles lit up together again. Then I saw a tall human figure sitting on the throne.
He has a huge masculine body. He's tall, has handsome sharp features, white hair, white eyelashes and those gorgeous blue eyes. He looks exactly the same said in the book. He's wearing all black royal clothes. He turned his head on both sides and the cracking sound echoed through the room. Then he looked at me.
Can that beautiful person be that dangerous? I asked myself. "So you're the one who unsealed me?" He spoke. I have to respect him. "Yes, my lord" I replied looking at the ground. "Hmmmmm.....well, this place is still burnt and dusty everywhere.... and I don't like my castle to lose its beauty" he said and threw a hand beside him.
A blue ray came out of his hand. And all of a sudden the castle turned all new. Not burnt anymore neither dust anywhere. I was already gorgeous and now it has become more gorgeous. A huge black gorgeous castle. "Hmm.....so what's the reason you unsealed me?" He asked.
"my lord, I'm a witch.... people of the king are killing all the witches. They killed my family too. I don't wanna live like this. I was to live like normal people. I want everyone to think of me like normal people. I want to be loved." I replied. And then there was silence. I could feel him staring at me.
"So you don't wanna be a witch any more and want to be loved right?"he asked. "... yes. My lord" I replied. He smirked. "Okay....done" he said swiping his finger in the air. My eyes widened in hope that now I can live like normal people. I looked at my hand and the witch sign was gone.
That means..... that means I'm not a witch anymore? I was so happy. "T-thank you... thank you, my lord" I said with a smile on my face. I stood up. I said "I should go now-" he didn't let me finish "No" he said. It almost seemed like an order. I dared to look at him. And there was a sinister smirk on his face.
"I didn't give you permission to leave" he said and went up from the throne. And within a blink I was standing in front of me. I got frightened and took a step back with a gasp. "You scared?" He asked with a smirk. I didn't reply. "Are you?" He asked again tilting his head. ".... N-No" I replied.
"okay.... then come with me... let me show you something" I said with a grin offering a hand to me. I have to accept his hand and so I did. And within a blink we both were standing in front of the window. How fast is he? "Look at the kingdom. I own this. I'm gonna burn this place" he said. Now he was definitely terrifying me.
He placed a hand on my waist and pulled me against him. Now this is getting too uncomfortable. "And you'll be watching them die with me from here. And I'll kill them first who killed your family" he said. What does that mean?! "M-my lord I should go now" I said. "And I already said no" he said looking at me.
"you want to be loved, right?..... you'll be living here in my castle with me.... and I'll give you all the love you need" he whispered in my ear. My eyes widened. Oh no no no. This is not what I want. He wants to kidnap me in his castle?! Shit I don't have my powers anymore either. What should I do now?!
"what happened?" He asked and nuzzled his face on my neck. I took a deep breath and pushed him. Then ran all I could. I was running through the corridor and bumped into someone. Of course it's none other than Gojo Satoru. I don't have any ways now. I automatically started crying.
He smirked. "Didn't thought someone has the bravery to disobey me" he said and started walking towards me and I started walking backwards. "P-Please let me go I don't want that life" I cried. "Oh darling you don't know how much I love to see people crying. And for your life I'm the one have the power to decide how you'll live" he said.
Then he clapped his hand and we both were standing in a.... BEDROOM?! He grabbed my hand and pulled me against him. "Now tell me what you were saying?" He asked. "P-Please....let go... P-Please" I said. "Let you go? But didn't you wish to be loved? I'm giving you the love you deserve" he said while grabbing my ass and squeezing it.
I yelped at that. "P-Please I don't want to stay her-" before I could even complete my sentence he threw me on the bed and claimed on me. I screamed so loudly out of fear when threw me on the bed. "Didn't you say you're not scared? That seems like a lie now" he said and took off a strand of hair out of my face.
"it's been years since I was sealed. Never thought I'll get this gorgeous gift as soon as I get unsealed " he said with a smirk and pressed his lips on mine. I tried to push his chest but he grabbed my hands and held them beside my head while kissing me aggressively. He pushed his tongue inside my mouth.
I was shaking my head in protest but he didn't stop. When he stopped he immediately grabbed the top of my dress and tore it off. How strong is he??? He tore off a dress with Corset with his hands?! I almost screamed when he did. I covered myself and tried to crawl up.
He grabbed my hair and made me look at him. "Did I say to cover yourself???" He asked. His eyes shined. Tears falling down from my eyes. He smirked and licked my neck with his long tongue. I was shaking from fear. "You know seeing you scared makes me more turned on" he whispered.
I couldn't breathe. He grabbed the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head. My boobs bounced out. He looked at those with lust in his eyes. His eyes shined in the dim light. He didn't waste any time, crashed his mouth on my breast licking, sucking and teasing the nipple and squeezing the other one with his hand. I moaned in the sensation. I grabbed his hair and tried to stop him by pulling it but it didn't even affect him. "M-my lord stopppp" I screamed but he didn't stop. "It's Satoru, darling.... I won't kill you if you call me Satoru"
Then he took off my pantie. He looked at my pussy. He rubbed his finger on my clit and whispered " so wet. You naughty little slut, getting wet for me huh?". Then he licked my pussy. I couldn't help but moan loudly. He smirked at my reaction and undo his pants.
His dick sprang out. It was too big and too thick. "Look... this is what you have done to me..." he said while stroking his dick. Fear grabbed me by my neck. " S-Satoru no no no... P-please no... s-stop" I begged and called him Satoru as he said so maybe he listens to me? but didn't even listen to me and slammed his whole dick inside me in one slide. I screamed. He didn't even give me time to adjust his size and started thrusting in and out roughly. I was through my legs with pain and begging him to stop. And he liked it so much. His thrust became harder and harder.
I clenched around him tightly and he moaned loudly " you know.... you're the first witch I love....I always hated all the witches.... never seen such a gorgeous witch like you.... f-fuck what great present I got as soon as I got unsealed" he started rubbing my clit with his thumb and I bite his shoulder scratched his back to control myself. With a few more thrusts I came. He was still thrusting roughly. I felt his cock pulsing inside me. I tried to push him away with all of my strength." Ughh...no no no no...ahhhhhh... I don't want this ..." I moaned. "Do you still think you can make me stop?" He said with a smirk. I dig my nails more deeper into his back as he Marked me. He continued thrusting. Within a minute he came inside me I could feel his seed inside me. He pulled out. He fell beside me on the bed.
"You need to be loved? I'll give you all the love you deserve..... now spread your legs again.... I'm not done yet.... I was sealed for over 500 years.... you don't expect me to stop right now, do you?" He said and chuckled demonicly.
Give me your requests guys....
I love when you give me your requests 💕
#jjk#jjk smut#smut#tw noncon#jujutsu kaisen smut#fem reader#dark content#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jujutsu gojo#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo somnophilia#gojo smut#gojo noncon#yandere#yandere jjk#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere gojo smut#yandere gojo#possessive#obssesive#demon Gojo#dark blog#dark writing#dark romance
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I've got a quick question, which of the travelers figure out who Loop is? Does Loop tell any of them directly like they kinda do with Sif? Personally I think Mira and Odile (surprisingly) wouldn't without a lot of hints but Bonnie and Isa would catch on pretty quick. Even better if Loop is now actively hiding it from them but they suck at it because these are different, hurt versions of their family and they just want to help them, partially so they can feel useful and partially so they can go home.
Cause man, it sucks watching the people you love suffer. If only they'd take the same concept and apply it to themselves-
I think you are bang on the money! Traveler Bonnie and Isa are the ones most likely to figure out who Loop used to be (the kid's smart and Isa is VERY good at connecting dots), while Mira and Odile get caught up on different details or get too stuck in their own problems to notice until after the fact. oh good grief I'm imagining Loop being so pained and distraught at seeing a hurt, caged and miserable version of each of their favorite people. I think with some character development Loop would be capable of saying "hey. This ain't my first timeloop, and shockingly the last 2 timeloops weren't my last either" and if they are more eager to help out the Travelers I think they'd try to be honest if asked about their origins and experiences. Loop, however, is still Loop at the end of the day, and emotional vulnerability will be sandwiched between self-depreciating humor and bitter cheerfulness at yet ANOTHER version of their family being unable to spit out how much they love everyone else despite evidence proving they'd get stuck in a timeloop for them.
#Loop definitely makes the joke of “be grateful you didn't have to help yourself out of the timeloops. THAT was awkward.”#“... metaphorically helping yourself??”#“No. Literally helping myself. Stars- you can't imagine how often I wanted to throttle myself because of the irony of it all."#ISAT Role!Swap AU#two hats spoilers#Loop will learn to apply all those lessons to themself eventually! probably. hopefully. *fingers crossed* c'mon Loop you can do it!#you will have 5 perfect examples of what NOT to do! use them!!!
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Shifting Priorities
Thank you for all the nice comments yesterday! Some really helpful perspectives that gave me a lot of ideas on how I can tackle my simmer's block :)
Mostly, I think I need to trim down the number of neighbourhoods I consider "active" and the amount of projects I am doing in general. I have a hard time letting go of neighbourhoods, especially if I am still somewhat invested in them! But I also need to face the fact that I only have so much free time, and do not want playing the sims to be the sole thing I do with that free time XD
For some neighbourhoods I will also be trying out a more stripped-down approach to blogging, similar to what I've been doing with Driftwood. It makes me a little sad because I like my sims to feel fleshed out as characters and giving them voices is a big part of that! But maybe I can save the prose/dialogue for times when it is particularly needed, rather than including it as a default.
Finally, I am going to prioritise based on what I actually have the most fun with, rather than letting popularity drive my decisions!! Some neighbourhoods I feel sad about potentially retiring because I know people enjoy them, or I feel bad admitting I am never going to finish projects people were excited for, but I have to remember simming is something I do for myself, not for popularity or for other people.
So, plans for my neighbourhoods:
Pleasantview Plus - will continue in its current form for the most part, but holdholds I found less inspiring will just get short summaries rather than extensive documentation. This hood is waaaaaaay too big and I think not that many people follow it all that closely, but it's also my one true love and I would like to start prioritising it again rather than it always being on the backburner
Uberhood Challenge (YouTube Series) - This is a short-term series, and will continue as planned until I finish the challenge, which I'm over halfway through :)
Hollyhead - I hate to say it because I know a lot of people love it, but I feel like I have sorta outgrown this neighbourhood? Some simmers like their settings to be an escape from the real world, and when I made Hollyhead I think it was what I needed too, but these days I find how upbeat & wholesome it is a bit, idk, constraining?? I crave drama and conflict in my stories!! I also have kinda lost interest in the BACC rules and have started to find it more book-keeping and hassle for what I get out of it... Whenever I do open the neighbourhood I still really enjoy actually playing it, and I love the characters so much, but I just haven't found the events interesting enough to want to write about. I think this neighbourhood will not be retired completely (yet), but I will move towards writing much shorter updates in the form of newspaper articles and see if that helps. If by the end of this season I still feel ehhh about it, I might formally end it <3
Driftwood - no complaints about this hood, I'll probably continue with the current style of documenting major events & new builds only
Spruceburg (YouTube series) - I would like to do another season of this next year, after I finish the uberhood challenge! But I will probably go for a schedule of like, one season of series per year, rather than posting consistantly. I enjoy YouTube a lot, but its a lot of work too and I think has majorly taken away from my blogging time this year, which I am mourning now lol!!
The Fiero Legacy - it is probably time to throw in the towel with this and admit I just don't enjoy playing legacy style or with story progression that much! I always enjoy the period where the heir is dating but once they settle down and have kids it becomes a chore and a grind, plus with story progression's time system I always feel rushed and like I can't take a sim out of the house for an outing without potentially missing important milestones - the urban setting feels so wasted when its all family gameplay, haha. Hallie should be at the club!! It was an interesting experiment and a nice change of pace, but idk if I really see myself returning to it. I love the sims themselves and the setting, but whenever I actually load up the neighbourhood I just feel kinda stressed and overwhelmed :(
As for my building projects like Belladonna Cove, perhaps at some point I will get really inspired and return to them but for now they are on indefinite break. I remember saying a few time in the past that I didn't really feel much need to make over Pleasantview and Strangetown because if I wanted nice makoevers I would use frottanas, and tbh I feel the same way about Belladonna Cove - if I was playing it I would just use plumbtales makeovers XD With my past neighbourhood makeovers I was really inspired to make them because there wasn't anything out there that was exactly what I wanted but, well, there's loooooads of nice Belladonna cove makeovers these days so I just don't feel much drive to make my own version I guess?? I think I also have lost interest in building a little becasue I am no longer into super heavily decorated lots - I prefer lighter lots that won't cause lag lol! So yeah, I am probably not retiring from building forever but its no longer a priority for me :)
#blog maintenance#a lot of these were already on unofficial hiatus but hopefully making it more official will clear up my brain :)
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they are so cute for no reason
#im rewatching season 1 and it never fails to make me smile constantly with how adorable it is#it’s just the fact that this season was written when the twins were 13 so its all just really charming simple stuff#everyone has very exaggerated personalities and it’s so good#also another thing ive noticed is leafy was the first person like Ever to show any sort of remorse towards flower#and to this day is still one of the only characters to actively do that#love those guys#battle for dream island#bfdi#bfdi firey#bfdi coiny#fireoiny#odiespeak
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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like it's just the way that outside of the BATB/POTO 'love what's ugly and ostracized' narrative itself cocteau was gay and everybody hated his gall about it, howard ashman was gay and had to conceal it and died of aids after finishing his work for disney's batb.... rather than have dark be homophobic and spitting in the face of his inspirational roots (the sole canon detail i can't stand) it's much much much more interesting for me to both read and write not someone who's meant to be a pervert (in humor) and an agape lover (in serious contextualization) only to turn and say 'no homo' to the crowd every single time but rather, instead of all that, someone who, simultaneously taking daisuke into account, is both extremely firm yet simultaneously insecure in the struggle to establish their identity not only in regards to themselves but also around others.
that applies to a lot, but i've been considering it especially in regards to dark's gender and daisuke's attractions. dark in my portrayal (while overall 500% nonbinary) is closer to someone bi-gender rather than agender; the feminine aspect to him isn't just theatrics, it's actively also part of his entirety to him, (compared to daisuke's passivity; the ten thousand canonical princess allusions,) and even if nobody ever recognizes it in a cognizant way, it is always, always there, the same way that erik blurs and obscures gender in leroux's novel (my second enormous inspiration, sugisaki's outright admitted primary) and sakurai occasionally discusses his relationship as both a performer and a person as well (my third enormous inspiration and sugisaki's secondary,) (see 1, 2.) simply put, the tragedy of (my!) dark does not ever derive from his being able to choose and sit comfortably and confidently with this sort of identity (in fact, it's one of the few things he can stubbornly, viciously decide for himself [alongside daisuke] as essentially a non-human, autonomous 'angel',) it's instead the way that his personality is so strong and 'anti-feminine' in the eyes of convention that said aspect of himself often gets disregarded for strictly masculine (and regardless, further self-contradictory and therefore isolating,) expectations.
dark himself alone does not care if others do not understand him; this is meant to be one of his far more admirable and impressive traits. he's staunchly independent: he knows who he is, what he's supposed to be, and he knows that if he actively presented himself more femininely (crossdressing to 'pass' essentially,) then people's behaviors WOULD be very likely to change around him, but he doesn't even do that because it goes against his overwhelming sense of pride. he never contorts, he never twists himself, what matters to him is that he and he alone understands himself and knows what he is, what he isn't. but he is, without proper support or acceptance, still alone. even bearing a strong character, the stifling loneliness and inherent, underlying self-sense of broken/wrongness of the 'other,' (god's luciferean problem child, the black sheep, the black-leather wearing punk,) is still inflicted on him. dark exists solely for himself, he exists solely for daisuke, which is simultaneously wherein the inversion and insecurities lie: if dark is canonically the live metaphor for all the aspects of daisuke's self that he attempts to and yet cannot possibly, conceivably repress, from his loves to his faults to his shames and his criminal sins as a thief, then the likes of daisuke's own personal confusions in regards to himself and his attempts at intimacy/socialization with others is the other, hidden side of dark's absolute self-confidence; it's every fear of perpetual isolation, misunderstanding, and abandonment for things outside of daisuke's own control.
queerness in relation to the self (transgender allegory) queerness in relation to others (non-hetero-romanticism) mental illness (depression, anxiety,) etc, etc, dark's thematic basis may at its most general simply be "a secret that feels wrong and that you feel you can't really tell anyone or else you'll get in trouble/won't be as liked as much" but it feels much better to give due respect to each of these primary roots.
#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.#reference.#'tsun r u angry about homophobic dark again' u can't take the guy everybody loves and is supposed to actively admire in the series#then have him say all the time he hates gays. when he's gay#DN's mothers and grandfathers are all gay sakurai was smashing his head against that boundary even in the 90s ish#what's not clicking#this is not a particularly well thought out ramble btw#i just think it's important that dark as a character (mine i mean) has a particular kind of struggle that isn't often actively touched on#which is being strong but lonely. deeply independent but out of necessity. he doesn't need assurance per se; just acceptance#as yes. still a young child. /a teenager./ not an adult.#even though he's constantly putting his entirety into subtly. selflessly giving (just as shamelessly as he takes as a thief)#dark really. does not get a lot back. and it's even at the point where he doesn't want it either bc hes the 'responsible' one#it's often that people lose interest in him once this stuff comes into play because suddenly he's less attractive for being 'complicated'#and/or bc he's not a 'real' girl. or he's not 'fem' enough (again: strong personality. opposite of a waifish damsel)#nvm me getting followed once by an all fem muse blog that said no fem+fem shipping 😭😂 what the hell even was that#dark counts himself as 'male' he counts himself as 'female' he counts himself as 'other' he just doesn't want to connect with 'none'#because he and basically all the other arts also are all 'none' from the start. they're artworks. canonically their pronouns are all over#the place too. in dark's case he only uses he/him because he is. an ore-sama chara. but i hope#everybody who ever comes into my house (blog) knows him and mine very specifically#as an ore-sama ojou-sama. that's what Mine Is#the same way daisuke is christine. is sleeping beauty. is gerda from the snow queen. but also the cursed prince#ok? ok#ok. im going to cook now#like i love riku but we do not need to bash gay ppl to have a happy het shoujo romance#riku couldve had a cute gf if she wanted. the gf couldve been dai. couldve been dark. :/#'daisuke was originally to be a girl but there weren't a lot of romances from boys' perspectives' and he still can be both. this is how
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Jason is a cycle breaker, in that he is not a "Good" one but he is cognizant of it and also someone who does direct action about it. Not only is he someone actively aware of the cyclical and never-ending pileup of bodies in the attempts to uphold the emotionally invested rule of one man—he confronts the selfishness surrounding that decision and how it's affected so many people, especially him personally.
Dick does recognize some of the tells of manipulation and of imbalance in his relationship with Bruce, but he does not connect the physical abuse/domestic abuse he sees as a cop in Blüdhaven to the physical abuse Bruce doles out to him. He doesn't connect that he's being emotionally abused, the psychological stranglehold Bruce has on him, the paranoia that spawns out of that.
Bruce never even has to be around for Dick to be burdened by what his father thinks of him—the pater familias. Jason, though? Jason stepped out of that cage and is dancing outside of it. The shackles that bind Dick have always been unlocked. All Dick has to do is step outside the cage. It's why Jason triggered Dick so much in New Earth and why Dick was so antagonistic towards him, mean and even seemingly apathetic.
Seeing someone freely express their loud and turbulent displeasure, list their grievances and not back down to bury the hatchet, gnash their teeth and demand something more and something better incenses someone like Dick. Dick has argued, he has fought, he has yelled, but of it all and at the end of the day he will still go back to Bruce. Jason though? He cannot lie down. He will bite the hand that beats every single time, and strike at the eyes that watch. Jason can forgive, he can move on—it's literally all he wanted to do—but he couldn't without proper answers and he couldn't just 'move on' when Bruce continued making the same mistake ad nauseam with no change. Jason cannot be complacent.
Additionally, from Dick and Jason's shared kinship, Jason can get at the CORE of why Dick is so complacent, where other's maybe cannot. Jason knows it because Dick doesn't want to lose yet another parent. Jason would know, because he's lost all fucking four of his. One after the other, after the other, after the other. Dick holds onto things with his teeth, too, after all.
Dick is someone suffocated under the black tar Bruce has buried him into. Jason crawled out of the tar. He's still poisoned, but he's making it work!
This is why forcing Dick to interact more with Jason is like catnip to me xD
Jason's own cognizance and awareness as a whole is why crashing Jason into a character like Dick, someone great at self-delusion, is literally the most interesting thing you could do relationship wise—especially romantically.
Jason poses such a narrative and internal challenge for characters, he makes character arcs essentially requisite! He makes plots spin by stepping onto center stage. That is how a long term in-character Jason works. He forces change in some capacity, he addresses complacence. (It's why DC wasn't able to keep him up and full strength, he got diluted into… puddle sludge, mostly through Prime Earth and less so through Daniels and Morrison. Because even with Morrison, Jason still had more fucking teeth.)
Needless to say, transformative fiction also disrupts the status quo so push it in that direction of transformation—of change! I love challenging characters, ESPECIALLY basket-cases, and making them actually change or evolve as people and exploring them in ways that otherwise wouldn't ever get published.
Jason really does far more for Dick's character than Dick does for Jason's, when speaking from a developmental point of view. Speaking from a personal view, I do not want Dick to die beholden to the Batman and his black hole ego that leeches Dicks sanity away from him at every turn.
What Dick offers to Jason is this: loyalty once earned, respect, trust, and genuine unconditional love. A chance to be accepted by someone he really respects and looked up to, a chance to help someone help themself, a chance to foundationally have a profound effect on someone and that effect be positive!
What Jason offers to Dick is this: everything aforementioned, and freedom. Genuine freedom, under no pretenses or expectations that need to be met. There's no 'failing' to meet a quota, there's no forcing Dick into roles he doesn't want but will take anyway because Dick cannot easily say no. And great exposure therapy to help Dick stop pathologizing/moralizing every single one of his actions against a nonexistent jury filled with Batmen.
And so I offer to you, an incredibly complicated and interesting endeavour with many conquests!
actually can any dickjay shippers explain to me what the appeal is. i want to understand your vision please
#dickjay#jaydick#jason todd#dick grayson#my meta#bitter-hibiscus#this is my second post on this blog and im so nervous LOL#i hate posting because. its scary. but#had to share#my thoughts becauseeee. i like talking#a lot XD#my thoughts
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everybody claims to be a kashiwagi enjoyer but the only time anyone ever talks about him is to say he's the hottest piece of meat in the series
#this goes for a lot of characters but he's the one i pay the most attention to#this probably isn't even remotely profound to most people who follow me but it really feels like a massive proportion of fandom nowadays#only cares about fanwriting if it's within 1500 words and rated E#there are some notable exceptions of course but fuck there just doesn't seem to be any real feedback on anything anymore#unless it comes from people i share small discord servers with and chat to every day#the number of times i've linked my textual analysis pieces to people who say they're fans of the character it's about#only to get brushed off in favour of the next off-model drawing of him with his balls swanging#it's demoralising#i don't want to be the elitist ''nobody likes him the way i do'' jerk but this is a lot of the reason i haven't been as active on tumblr#on top of me (mostly) running out of games to play then going on holiday and coming back to my steam deck's display not working#(it's still in for repairs)#maybe when i get it back i'll liveblog yakuza 4 but i'm starting to wonder if there's a point in using tumblr#when the only people who engage are people i speak to directly on discord anyway#like why not just cut out the middleman at this point yknow?#well. guess i'll get back to my sawamura ikki rabbit hole#expect arai posting when i get my steam deck back#me#text#kashiwagi osamu#idk lol i don't want to put negative fandom commentary into the character tag but i DO want this to be in the tag on my blog itself#i don't think there's a way to do that anymore
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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.
#I MEAN. I LIKE GIRLS. RIGHT. WHY DOES THIS FEEL SO WEIRD. I HAVE HAD ONE(1) CRUSH BEFORE AND THAT WAS A GUY.MAYBE BECAUSE OF THAT? BUT THEN#NOW WHENI THINK ABT IT WAS ONLY HOW HE LOOKED. ESPECIALLYY HIS EYES AND HE HAD VERY UHHH DRAWABLE FEATURES. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE#THINKING OF IT...I NEVER EVEN LIKE THOUGHT ABT CONFESSING OR DATING OR EVEN TALKING WITH HIM....I actively avoided even thinking about it#at that time i thought that was because in a way i was guilty of having those feelings for him considering we barely had interactedand it f#felt weirdly creepy thinking of osmeone that way without their knowledge(??)#now i still retain some of that sentiment but also...was i really romantically or sexually attracted to him at all?#when i see people and actors and characters online i do find them hot but irl...do I really want that sort of thing?#whenver i read stories of romance and close friendships too i aways want to have those in mmy life. but#like okay romance aside...even in friendships i.i just can't do them?#i like helping people and i o enjoy having casula conversations i like being nice to people too nut#but it. it feels sort of suffocating to be close to people emotionally?#i dnt know how to put it but there's always a limit after which it starts feeling weird. i want close strong bonds with people but ifeel so#uncomfortable when it starts happening.so many people around me love me in all different forms but o i really love them all back in the sam#intensity? I think I can only say that for my parents. my friends...i don't know.#do i really care about them asmuch as they care about me?#i do a lot of things...i say a lot of things that can only be said if i cared about the other person honestly and earnestly..#but. butto me it really feels like it isnt that deep#these ats of servic don't come from my heart nor my head#i just. do them because...i don't evenknow..that's just my response...i really dont think anything of it.#i don'tknw. this is all so stressful i wish icould just do whatever i ahve to do for a day interacting with peopel andleavingeverything beh#behind when icome home. but then it feelsso lonely but being around people also makes me feeluncomfortable when i try to establish bonds wi#them.#i don't knwo i wish i never gto close to them in first place.....life wouldve been so much easier
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I'm really glad elyss came several years before melliwyk, because mel's alignment shift from chaotic neutral to chaotic good sometimes feels a little embarrassing in an 'I can't keep my own feelings to myself for the sake of committing to the bit' sort of way, but the counterpoint to that is that elyss, steadfastly true neutral, just simply Does Not Care about anyone other than her own loved ones or anything outside her own immediate interest no matter how much I sometimes wish she would
#she has a soft spot for children but that's the only real exception. other people's problems are none of her business!#she's not gonna look for your kidnapped husband or whatever unless the paladin wants to (he wants to. this is my loophole as a player lol)#whereas *I* wanna befriend and adopt every NPC and do quests and help people out of genuine desire to help#melliwyk is still more self-interested than not but at the end of the day she fundamentally really is a good person#she just lost track of it for awhile. being around people again has reminded her that she cares about people actually#she IS bothered by needless suffering. she IS smart enough to recognize when smart people handwave 'necessary sacrifices' to be cruel#she DOES oppose evil on principle rather than just because of how it directly affects her or her friends and family--#not just passively and in general but actively enough to want to do something about it herself#and I dunno it's nice. it's nice that it feels like that's not just me muddying the waters with my desires as a player--#but that it's just something *neither* of us realized when I started playing her but that was nonetheless always true#and honestly I also think it's nice that elyss is Like That but that I don't think there's anything wrong with her for it#she's not evil! she's not hurting anyone who didn't deserve it! she's literally just trying to mind her own business#she's not going to needlessly or carelessly hurt people just for her own gain like early campaign melliwyk would have#she's true neutral like a wild animal is true neutral and That's Fine#the ONE downside I suppose with mel is that 'NICE does not mean GOOD' is compelling to me#especially when your stereotypical chaotic neutral dnd character is an edgelord asshole#but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe if her field of study had more opportunities for human experimentation lmao#melliwyk the experimental necromancer or behaviorist or summoner has a different relationship with ethics I have no doubt#melliwyk has READ studies with Dubious Ethics and gone 'I mean they couldn't have GOTTEN results like this otherwise'#really the biggest difference between Good Melliwyk and Neutral Melliwyk is opportunity for temptation. which is also compelling#my OCs#melliwyk#elyss
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ovo whispers menacingly abt his grandstanding .
#(you can grandstand and be impulsive and prone to violence and have a terrible temper without being arrogant thanks)#(the closest he ever gets to saying he's above anyone else is w/ the jotuns if you really squint at it and he only ever said-)#(- that he wanted to use /force/ aka /violence/ to get them to submit to his rule bc otherwise he views them as DANGEROUS)#(based not only on historical /fact/ but cultural differences boogeymanning and seeing firsthand how they-)#(-MURDERED SOME OF HIS PEOPLE???? AND BROKE INTO HIS HOME???? ON CORONATION DAY????)#(he doesn't act like heimdall or the warriors or sif or even loki is below him. he wouldn't /ask them/ for permission otherwise)#(he even asks the humans-he-just-met for permission a la jane and then respects their decisions and apologizes for being rude abt the mug)#(and the one time he says 'know your place' to loki is when loki is actively bUTTING INTO A CONVERSATION that thor is being ridiculous abou#(bc to thor it's about /winning/ the argument with laufey and he's totally losing track of his goal to try and figure out wtf the jotuns)#(were doing ///in asgard inside the palace IN THE VAULT on CORONATION DAY///.)#(arrogance is specifically thinking you are inherently better than anyone else bc you exist)#(thor very clearly demonstrates selfish desires that translate to poorly thought out deeds)#(eg: taking it directly to laufey instead of trying to take a step back and figure it out in OTHER WAYS before a direct confrontation)#(and he also demonstrates overblown self-confidence.)#(eg the “i have no plans to die today” / “none do.”)#(that's being overconfident in his own abilities that's still not arrogance.)#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#( salt to taste . ) — in this house we love the actual main character . crazy i know .#tbd#(thor expresses boastfulness and pride similarly to his whole culture of over-exaggerating ur war stories)#(his vice is letting that vanity get to his head and fueling increasingly impulsive and stubborn decisions)#(out of the sheer and desperate desire to prove he's good enough to take up such a heavy mantle as the crown of asgard + nine realms)#(but he doesn't just look at other people and go 'oh yeah i'm so totally better than you just because i exist')#(he's also not a lightning mcqueen who actually DOES see himself above the rustees cars and the route 66 cars)#(goes out of his way to make that abundantly clear and wants actually nothing to do with any of them in pursuit of his own gains)#(only to finally figure out he's not all hot shit and slows tf down to understand and enjoy life as part of society not above it)#(he literally flies of the handle because he fully believes the jotunar actually plotted an entire elaborate scheme)#(SPECIFICALLY in the effort to exploit him as the green thumb weak link as Newly Instated King who Doesn't Know What He's Doing)#(And therefore will OBVIOUSLY do a terrible job because he's not odin and can never be odin but he /needs/ to be like odin bc odin is stron#(HE doesn't know it was loki's plan. he doesn't know it was /loki/ who timed it to the coronation.)
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Another negative side effect of this release is that filtering d///a//i content out of my feed has become impossible again
#river rambles#negative#I cannot even pretend I like a single character from that thing I'm sorry#I am willing to give josephine a C+ passable score but that is IT#every single other person I actively want dead and i'm so serious#my inq included btw#half of them because taking part in the inquisition in itself makes them hateable 2 me#the other half because they on TOP of that are deeply personally unlikable#and unlike the asshole characters from previous installments (or other franchises) they don't even have the decency of showing their depth#unless you bend over backwards to kiss their ass and throat their boots agreeing with everything they say#I make it sound exaggerated but no you need to understand. Micromanaging shit like this is crack to me.#when playing da2 im basically the always sunny whiteboard meme. I invest even in the characters I don't like at all and I still have FUN#in inq It's way more than just needing to micromanage.#because you're literally doing quintuple the legwork for what?? to get a crumb of non-hateable personality??? a normal conversation???#legitimately. i really feel that any person out here on tumblr that's written any analysis post has put more thought -#and personality into those characters than the writers ever did#except solas ofc but that's the writers pet he doesnt count#(not that the thoughts they came up with were any good but they definitely did think about him more)#everyone in the game itself is a mess of contrasting traits that are supposed to make them feel more dynamic and ReAliStiC#but only really make them frustrating unless again. YOU do all the legwork and write those analysis posts#Leliana in origins has more personality in her pinky finger than the entire cast of inquisition combined.#and she's one of my least favorites in origins#dai critical
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#will delete later;#i had to lol when one of my old meta posts popped up in my activity feed#it was one on oboro and shouyou/utsuro#i can't remember my thoughts at the time to where i was thinking 'what the heck is all this' while rereading my own meta lol#it's been so long since i indulged in writing meta posts#i don't write or read them anymore for two reasons:#1) i'm not in the mindset anymore to where i used to recall every single detail and could find things again quickly#and 2) long-time gintama fans have Been There Done That with everything including meta#all the 'am i the only one' type of posts -- no you aren't; i guarantee it's been thought of and expressed before#even the same old 'arguments' about how certain gintaladies' characters aren't 'relevant' will pop up in new form#all i intend to do is enjoy gintama for as long as i can#i've paid my dues and made my contributions; i'm more into writing fanfic or supporting/commissioning fanart for gintama these days#i will always love gintama even if the intensity of those feelings has changed since the ending#i don't regret loving this series for 18 years and counting#i'm sure some of my other meta posts are still kicking about or still on private#if i can remember half of what i was thinking when i wrote some of them i'll be glad lol#it's fine for newer fans to continue analyzing; it was fun when we did it too#but i will stay retired
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