#and to keep reminding myself that peoples opinions dont matter

[elviratheepic]

I must not fear cringe

Cringe is the fun killer

Cringe is the little death that brings the end of harmless joy

I will face my instinct to cringe

I will permit it to pass over me and through me

And when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path

Where the cringe has gone there will be nothing

Only fun will remain :)

[wheatbreadfuckyeah]

It's you in the reflection, not him. [Viktor x Reader]

Dont let the title fool you because it's just a vent story, lamdhownwbsbxj. Remember- it's okay to be self-indulgent once in a while

–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—

I sit on Viktor's desk, my legs casually propped up on my usual chair, absentmindedly gazing into the small mirror he keeps tucked among his tools. My reflection stares back, and I let out a frustrated sigh. "Ugh! I look like my dad."

The sound of my voice breaks through the soft hum of his work. Viktor’s head lifts slightly, his golden eyes flicking toward me with quiet curiosity. “An odd lament,” he remarks, setting down a small tool. “Why does this trouble you?”

I hesitate, biting my lip before responding. “Because… I don’t like him.” My voice wavers, frustration and something deeper seeping through. “He was barely in my life, and when people say I look like him, it’s never a compliment. Everyone says he’s ugly, and then they just… casually mention how much I resemble him.”

The bitterness in my tone hangs in the air as I glance back at my reflection, my chest tightening. I whine softly, as if the words themselves could alleviate the weight pressing on me.

Viktor watches me in silence, his gaze steady but unreadable. When I finally meet his eyes, I catch something in his expression—thoughtfulness, perhaps, or a flicker of understanding.

“You frown at your reflection,” he says, his voice calm but deliberate, “not because of what you see, but because of what it reminds you of. A face, no matter how similar, does not define you.”

I furrow my brows, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. “Easy for you to say. You’re…” I gesture vaguely at him, my words tumbling out before I can stop them. “You’re you. Plus—you’re attractive.”

That catches him off guard. Viktor blinks, the faintest hint of color rising to his cheeks, though he quickly schools his expression. “Attractive, you say?” His tone is mild, teasing, but there’s a softness in his eyes that wasn’t there before.

I groan, covering my face with my hands. “Don’t make it weird. You know what I mean.”

His lips twitch in an almost-smile, but he doesn’t press the matter. “You overestimate the comfort I take in my own appearance,” he says quietly. “It is not without its flaws.” He taps the edge of his desk lightly, his voice growing more thoughtful. “Yet I find myself less concerned with the surface. Your likeness to him—whether striking or faint—is incidental. You are not him, nor his mistakes.”

I look away, swallowing hard. His words are kind, yet they stir something uneasy in me. “It’s not just about him,” I murmur. “It’s what people think when they look at me. Like I’m… carrying a piece of him everywhere I go, even when I don’t want to.”

He leans forward slightly, resting his elbow on the desk as he studies me. “And yet, you are more than their opinions. More than their comparisons. Do you believe your reflection encapsulates all you are?”

“I…” I trail off, unsure how to respond.

Viktor offers a rare softness in his expression, a flicker of empathy that feels grounding amidst the storm of my thoughts. “Perhaps it is not your father’s image you fear, but the thought that his absence defined you. That it shaped the way you see yourself. You are not beholden to that.”

I blink, his words sinking in slowly, uncomfortably, but not unwelcome. “You make it sound so simple.”

“Simple? No,” he replies, leaning back and picking up his tools again. “But necessary. Complexity often lies in accepting what cannot be changed.”

I glance at the mirror one last time, my reflection no less familiar, but his words linger like a small, steady light in the back of my mind.

[junnieverse]

pov ➳ P. GUNWOOK

➙ synopsis: everything about gunwook was perfect, his love for you coming in the purest of forms and you were starting to see yourself from his point of view

pairing: park gunwook x gn!reader

genre: heart wrenching fluff

word count: 1.2k

warnings: none that I can think of :p

a/n: the votes were in and you guys wanted to see this one first! To those that dont know, I'll be uploading various oneshots which are song based (such as this one) and possibly about a few other imagines with different songs for other members, each for all 3 groups I write for so be on the lookout for more in the future and share your thoughts on this one, bye!

❝ It's like you got superpowers

Turn my minutes into hours

You've got more than 20/20, babe

Made of glass the way you see through me ❞

Park Gunwook, was the love of your life, your soulmate if you must say.

He was perfect in your eyes.

For all the years you'd been together you could never understand what he saw in you, flaws and all.

He saw your imperfections as something perfect, your insecurities were strengths he loved about you.

His vision was a 20/20, no matter how much you tried to hide of yourself, he saw through it all.

"How much would you rate me as your life partner?" you asked Gunwook out of the blue as you were cuddled up in bed binge watching your favourite show.

"You're a 100 out of 10 love. I wouldn't ask for anybody else." he answers with a warm smile kissing your forehead.

❝ You know me better than I do

Can't seem to keep nothing from you

How you touch my soul from the outside

Permeate my ego and my pride ❞

Nobody understood you like Gunwook did, whether it was understanding your thoughts or emotions, he knew you better than you knew yourself.

That was something you admired about him.

You were insecure, especially about your physical attributes.

Gunwook was surrounded by incredibly attractive people, whether they were his friends or co workers, you always believed he could do better than you and you constantly reminded him of that.

"They may be better in your eyes but I think the best one already has my heart in their hands." he says as he held your hand placing it on his chest as you felt the steady beating of his heart.

❝ I wanna love me (Ooh)

The way that you love me (Ooh)

Ooh, for all of my pretty

And all of my ugly too

I'd love to see me from your point of view ❞

The sincerity and love Gunwook held in his eyes whenever he as so looked at you had your heart skip a beat.

You would fall in love with him all over again with just a smile.

He's always been there for you, be it you were at your highest or at your lowest.

Some boys may say their significant others are best once they're dressed up looking their best but Gunwook tells you that you look your best bare face, messy hair and rocking an oversized shirt with sweatpants on a lazy day (which in your opinion is probably your worst).

You sometimes look yourself in the mirror trying to identify what exactly you like and you'd be standing there for hours still trying to name atleast three.

His hands would wrap around your waist as he laid his chin on your shoulder, "If only you could see how beautiful you are from my eyes."

"I love you." he says making you blush profusely.

❝ I wanna trust me (Trust me)

The way that you trust me (Trust me)

Ooh, 'cause nobody ever

Loved me like you do

I'd love to see me from your point of view ❞

"Do you trust me?" he asks you as he hovered over you gazing into your eyes lovingly.

You hesitantly nod, "Y-yes, I trust you."

Did you really trust him... or were you still learning to?

It was weird seeing how he was able to trust you more than you did yourself.

How much he loved you more than you loved yourself...

You just want to be able to see yourself from his point of view.

❝ I'm getting used to receiving

Still getting good at not leaving

I'ma love you even though I'm scared

Learning to be grateful for myself ❞

Admittedly, you were slowly getting used to receiving all this love from him.

And you were still learning to stay instead of breaking down and leaving him.

You were definitely scared, you'd just been put through enough pain and heartbreak and you weren't ready for another one, it somehow felt like you were dependent on him... or his love, to feel some sense of worth.

Yes it was dangerous but you were blinded and intoxicated by him.

❝ You love my lips, 'cause they say the

Things we've always been afraid of

I can feel it starting to subside

Learning to believe in what is mine ❞

You were never one to shy away and not speak your mind, if you felt something needed to be said you made sure your voice was heard.

That was just one of the things Gunwook loved about you.

And the closer you both got, the more you started coming out of your shell and trusting him, learning to have hope that this was the happiness you deserved.

❝ I couldn't believe it

Or see it for myself

Know I be impatient

But now, I'm out here falling, falling

Frozen, slowly thawing

Got me right

I won't keep you waiting, waiting

All my baggage fading safely

And if my eyes deceive me

Won't let them stray too far away ❞

You were falling more and more, it was the inevitable.

It was hard not to fall in love with him, he was everything, the man of your dreams.

The weight of your past break ups and the baggage that was weighing you down was slowly fading away.

Were you ready to fully trust this man, give him your all...

Or will this all come crashing down and you'll end up in the same miserable hole, where you will end up hurt and deceived.

The same cycle...

❝ I wanna love me (Ooh)

The way that you love me (Ooh)

Ooh, for all of my pretty

And all of my ugly too

I'd love to see me from your point of view ❞

You heard it from everyone, whether it be his friends or even family, Gunwook was undoubtedly in love with you in every aspect no matter how much doubt you were in.

You were a mess, no matter how broken you were, he uplifted you and through the hardships he stayed beside you.

"Gunwook, I really can't do this anymore. I'm sure your fans would also appreciate you being with someone more attractive... or famous as well. I'm not the ideal type they saw you with." you tell him looking down thinking back to the various hateful comments or texts some fans had sent you.

"I don't care what they say. I'm happy with you... I'm in love with you. Everything about you is perfect, I'm not about to let go of the best thing that's happened to me because of toxic fans." he tells you cupping your face gently as he pressed your foreheads together.

❝ I wanna trust me (Trust me)

The way that you trust me, baby (Trust me)

'Cause nobody ever

Loved me like you do

I'd love to see me from your point of view ❞

You would think after everything you'd been through, Gunwook wasn't going to be by your side forever.

But he's proved himself on so many occasions that your relationship was going to work out and he has proved to you that he wanted to earn your trust and he did just that.

Nobody has ever cherished you the way Gunwook has, he sees you in such a beautiful way that because of him you slowly started to see yourself that way too.

He loved you...

And you loved him too.

[dungeonmeshi-confessions]

I wanna do more kabumisu positivity following that other anon. it really brightened my day so much.

bc really I dont want to bash other ships to lift mine up!!! and I actually also really love and respect labru, and know the majority of labru shippers arent Like That, just like most kabumisu shippers arent Like That. every group has some annoying, loud, opinionated people and they dont represent the average person who likes the ship, you know? I would love to see some labrus follow suit and send in some positivity as well!!! If the positivity keeps going I will come in here and post all my fave things about labru, labru art, and labru shippers as a kabumisu. lets ditch the bitching and hold hands instead!

anyway, some reasons I really love kabumisu

- as a neurodivergent disabled person dating another neurodivergent person, this is like. THE couple to me. and like its not just about mithrun being taken care of. taking care of mithrun actively helps kabru be more mindful of his own needs. In my life, I may struggle to feed myself, but I can make breakfast if my partner is hungry. other times she may do the same for me, it depends on who is doing worse.

-they both struggle with insomnia also

-from everything we've seen, pre-dungeon mithrun wasn't entirely dissimilar to kabru (high masking people pleaser) and thats Fascinating to me.

-kabru's job seems pretty stressful (no matter how much fulfillment it brings him, its a lot of responsibility for one person!) so I feel like coming home to that one guy he can take his mask off around and not even have to try and impress must be such a huge relief. also add mithrun with cooking experience to this, making kabru a nice meal after a long day of work.

-Mithrun is actually very perceptive and sees straight through kabru's bs multiple times and doesn't hesitate to call him out. Laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest. ("unless theres someone else?" "theres someone you want to tell that story to.") mithrun is also the one who gives kabru the information he's been seeking this whole time.

-I am very interested in exploring mithruns whole desire situation. what desires does he gain? I think it is probably a lot of little ones that weave together. oh also I think sometimes things may seem more mithrun centric bc in any story where he is going to end up in a relationship he is going to have a much more dynamic arc than whoever he is paired with. literally dynamic as in like. he requires a lot more growth to achieve the outcome. and there are ways to skip it or gloss through it but. a lot of these stories require that in some way you show the progress has happened.

-to me, kabumisu is more often queeplatonic than romantic. but Im aroace so that could just be my aroace glasses. ALSO kabru is vaguely aro to me. you mean the guy thats super desirable that doesnt really seem interested in anyone particular outside of pursuing friendship? that guy? (also the way he did rin omfg)

-random but I dont think kabrus PTSD is talked about enough and also like the extent of his trauma. its not just utaya/monsters/his mom dying; its being raised by a single mother, its his blue eyes, its being adopted, its being raised by an elf, etc!!!! a lot of things he does bc of ptsd get attributed to autism (I also hc kabru as autistic, and some is symptom overlap. but it is secondary to the ptsd! he is traumatized first and foremost ty) I really love kabru so much. ty for the ptsd rep <3

-also out here to say I know an amount of kabumisu content is mithrun centric. I will tell you from my pov specifically though its bc I deeply relate to mithrun (as someone who once told a therapist many years ago I desired nothing and truly meant it. she said I was like a puppet without strings. of course I saw mithrun and was like. oh.) and Im in love with kabru. kabru reminds me of all the people who gave me a reason to pull through. people who saw good in me and treated me like a person when I didnt feel like one. I also really relate to kabru though as someone with complex trauma, even if my traumas are not the same. thats why I say I think not enough is attributed to his ptsd. anyway, once I just opened a notebook and wrote kabrus name over and over again with hearts. I have never done this to mithrun. so dont tell me kabumisus dont like kabru !!!

-kabru and mithrun are both so gender. Ive seen so many variants on their gender and gender expression in the ship. some people hate this and insist they must be one way or the other. I think theyre neat lots of different ways. I love when theyre both feminine men. I love when mithrun is super masc. I love when theyre butch4butch. I love when theyre both trans. and so much more. its all beautiful. a very good variety of food. the other day on my dash I had a tallman art of mithrun with the biggest tits imaginable and the very next post he was like a little porcelain doll. keep up the good work guys. I love you.

.

[vaultedoverthehorse]

CherryCola fic inspired by @damthosefandoms ‘s post!!! this is my first time ever writing a fic, so any advice is appreciated!!

Cherry Valance was sitting and watching the sunset from the perch by her window. Her gaze lingered on the way the leaves seemed to look gold as the beams of light hit them. Ponyboy Curtis would have loved this if he was here. In her opinion, this was the best spot to see the sunset in the entirety of Tulsa.

She liked to sit up here and think. She usually does so when she’s overwhelmed, but recently this has been her only solace. With the war overseas, she feels as if all the peace in her life has been uprooted. Boys from her city were being sent over there to…she doesn’t like to think about it. She’s seen the families morning lost brothers and sons. It makes her feel sick.

A soft tap at her door snapped her out of her thoughts. Cherry turned as the door opened, revealing her mother. There was a package in her hands.

“Darling, someone sent this to you. Someone named Sodapop..?” Her mother said, her voice light and cautious, yet slightly judgmental.

Cherry felt her breath catch as she heard his name. Why was he writing to her? She remembered briefly overhearing that he was drafted, but she never expected him to send her of all people a package. Why wouldn’t this go to his brothers? Her heart started racing uncontrollably. That was a feeling she hasn’t felt since her sophomore year of high school.

“Sherry, do you know him?” Her mother asks. There’s a slight tone of distaste in her voice - which makes sense for her, as she disliked the idea of her daughter being with a greaser.

“Oh, sort of. I mean, he was a classmate.” Cherry brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I never really talked to him much.” She dreaded the way her mother spoke, and the way she looked at her. The disapproval was evident.

Her mother looked at her with a suspicious glint in her eyes. “Alright, well…I’ll just leave this here.” Her mother placed the small box on Cherry’s dresser and sent her daughter another look before leaving. Cherry understood why she wouldn’t believe her - she hardly believed it herself. Why would he want to send her something?

She just sat for a moment. She wasn’t upset like she should be - why is a greaser writing to a soc girl? - instead, she felt more confused and…longing, almost. Finally she gathered the courage to stand up.

She carefully crossed the room and took the package into her hands. It was slightly heavier than she expected. What could be in here? She sat on her bed, keeping it on her lap for a long moment. She just stared at it, a million thoughts racing through her brain. Almost too many to decipher.

Finally, with the dying light cascading through her window, she opened the box. Inside was a folded piece of paper and a small Bible. The sunlight caused the gilded pages of the book to shine. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she questioned again why she wouldn’t believe be sent this. She pulled out the piece of paper, carefully unfolding it. She scanned the words quickly, taking in the shaky handwriting - which made her smile, as she recognized it immediately as his - before she started to read.

Cherry,

Hey, how ya been?. I bet youre shocked. Im shocked too. I said id never write to someone again, at least till I knew I was heading home. But I saw something out here that reminded me of you. I put it in the Bible to keep it safe so you could see it. It really kept me going out here when it was really bad. I get why ya dont like fights now. Theres no point to all this. It’s just pain and hurt for no reason. Back in Tulsa things were simpler and fights didnt mean much. Now its just plain bad. I miss being a kid. I miss first grade before all this mattered because I knew you. I miss you Cherry. Ive missed you for a while, not just while Im here. I miss you helping me with school and me drawing you horses. I just wanted that again. I found myself looking for traces of you everywhere. Even in Tulsa girls. Theres a nurse here who reminds me of you. Shes the nicest one.

Dont tell my brothers or anyone I wrote to you. I havent been able to send them anything for a while because I dont wanna give them hope. I love them too much for that, ya know? And I wouldnt put you through this either but you get it. You know it dont mean im okay. I just wanted you know how much youve helped me since i met ya. I dont know you well these days but you mean a lot to me. I hope if I come back I can see you again.

Sodapop Curtis

Cherry felt a lump in her throat as she held the letter in her hands. Soda…he may not know how to write correctly, but he sure did know how to express what he wanted to. She reread the letter, wiping her eyes while she did so. The paper felt comforting in her hands. Like she was holding a piece of him.

Gently folding the letter back up, she placed to the side so she could grab the small Bible. Holding it carefully, as if it were a baby, she flipped through until she saw what he sent her. Between its pages was a small, pressed cherry blossom.

Seeing that, she couldn’t help it any longer. She sobbed into her hands, mourning a boy who wasn’t even dead yet. She remembered their childhood. He was the first boy she’s ever liked. Even when she was dating other boys, she left a space in her heart for him. Now he’s so far away, he’s scared, and he’s alone. Cherry just wants to bring him home, but she can’t. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t reach across the sea and carry him back to his brothers. To her. She feels helpless. She ran her hands along the page of the Bible, scared to touch the flower in fear of hurting it.

Cherry wishes she would have told him how she felt. Told him that she’d have run away with him had he asked, that he’s not crazy, that he used to brighten her day. Her parents would disown her, but she doesn’t care anymore. She could’ve told him that day in the lot before the rumble, but she talked herself out of it. And now it may be too late. Why could’ve she have just been brave?

Drying her eyes with her sleeve, Cherry gathered up the gifts from Soda and walked over to her dresser. She pushed through the socks in one of her draws until she could see the bottom. She placed the Bible and the letter right next to a small drawing of a horse that she’s had since she was six. Nobody else knows who it’s from. Her friends assume it’s something Bob gifted her when they were younger, and she hasn’t corrected them.

Cherry closed the draw after making sure the items were hidden. She sent one last look out her window, catching the final moments of the sunset. That’s when she made up her mind. She’d write him tomorrow. If he could send her a present in the midst of him fighting a war, she could send him something from her peaceful little home in Oklahoma. She could remind him of home.

[fairycosmos]

hey obviously i don't know much about your situation, but i'm worried that your reaction to your friend's bad decisions is pushing you further into isolation, and i feel like it needs to be said that holding onto people/friends IS often worth it, even if they're sometimes shitty people or if you heavily disagree on something. i feel like that's kind of an unpopular opinion these days, with all the talk about red flags, "toxic people" etc. from what i gather from your posts, it sounds like your friend keeps meeting a guy for sex even though he's proven to be an asshole. this reminds me of a close friend of mine who meets all kinds of ppl for sex regularly. i have come to realize that there's no point in expecting her to only meet up with "unproblematic" ppl. ultimately, i don't think it's her job to punish problematic men by not having sex with them. if she shared their ideology it would be different, but she just meets them for sex, bc she enjoys it. like, maybe your friend just doesn't think that having sex with this guy means that she "approves" of his character? again, idk anything about the situation. i'd just say that as long she isn't a bad friend to your or holds outrageous beliefs, this doesn't necessarily need to be a reason to distance yourself from her.

i totally get what you mean and if it was a matter of the dude just being problematic / not aligning with my beliefs i would definitely have the same mindset as you. the ppl she fucks definitely dont need my approval. but the guy literally told her he dated/was attracted to a 13 yo when he was 18. how can she even be comfortable being in the same room as him? just for sex which she could get from her boyfriend or the millions of other options she has? i thought her morals would kick in and she would put her foot down and disengage from him all together when she found this out. it's breaking my heart to distance myself from my oldest and really only friend but i just feel so deeply uncomfortable with the whole thing. my perspective of her has been truly shaken and i don't know how else to go about it. idk you could be right. i don't think she is an evil person at all but i don't get why she would want to be around a person like that

[undead-discourse]

genuinely have to wonder what these people who are so staunchly anti non-offending paraphiles want to happen to said paraphiles. like... what, do you want them to be killed for their thoughts they cant control? you think they deserve to die because theyre mentally ill? do people with homocidal intrusive thoughts deserve to die too, for an act they have not and likely will never commit? i hate to break it to you, but paraphilias are way more common than you think, and the people who have them are humans just like you. some of them seemingly come from nowhere, but a lot of them stem from trauma, which yall dont like to think about because it reminds you that if things just went a little differently, you couldve ended up like the inhuman, irredeemable monsters you advocate for the murder of. either way, its literally not something that the paraphile can control. fundamentally its unlikely any of them will ever be able to shirk their attractions. they can, however, just like you, control their actions. they are people with mental illnesses so stigmatized that its socially acceptable to publicly call for their slaughter. if you fancy yourself someone who thinks that people can be reformed and rehabilitated, someone who identifies as a prison abolishionist or an anarchist, you cannot also advocate for the involuntary killing of people with mental disorders. and you cannot perpetuate this culture of shame and fear and hostility, because all it does is push paraphiles who desperately need help further into isolation, away from the help that they need, and closer to actually offending. if someone is outed as a paraphile, their entire life is ruined. all of their connections are severed. theyre met with constant active hostility for something they never asked for and something they cannot control. so why, then, would a paraphile ever feel comfortable asking for help? how could they ever feel like they can reach out to a professional or even just to their friends and family when the risk is so high? when theyre told that theyre going to hurt people no matter what anyway?

full disclosure, im a paraphile. i wont specify anything beyond that. but for the longest time i really did feel like an irredeemable monster who was doomed to hurt others, that it was only a matter of time. that mindset, unsurprisingly, is not very conducive to recovery. it was only when i found other paraphiles online, learned i wasnt alone, that i didnt have to feel like the only option was death, that i finally felt like i could take control of myself. the isolation was the biggest hindrance to that. feeling like i was entirely alone in the world aside from people who had committed heinous acts, because the paraphiles who havent obviously cant talk about it. except they do, in small corners of the internet, where they still face incredible harassment and shame. still, knowing i was in the company of good people and knowing that my attraction wasnt some conscious choice on my part that made me into an inherent monster helped majorly. i didnt choose to grow up in the environment that i did. i didnt choose what i was exposed to as a kid. i didnt choose how any of that would affect me. i didnt choose to be a paraphile. but i am choosing to be a good person despite it, and im choosing to let other paraphiles know that they can do the same. i know there are some reading this. youre not alone, you can get help, and you can choose to be a fantastic person. youre not doomed. you dont have to die to keep others safe.

to summarize: paraphiles are human beings with mental illnesses just like many of you. and just like you, they need help and support, but its incredibly difficult to get that when the public opinion on them is generally "you deserve to die no matter what." we are incredibly common. you probably know a paraphile. and if that deeply upsets you on a moral level, i hope you know thats the reason why paraphiles hide it and just get worse and worse.

paraphiles are always going to be here no matter how hard you wish they were all dead. thats just a fact. so you can keep making graphic threats against mentally ill people, literally only causing further harm to them and to others, or you can show compassion and a genuine desire to see things get better by at the very least not perpetuating obvious anti-recovery, pro capital punishment, pro thought crime propaganda.

.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

hello, its me! the anon who asked for your opinion abt shipping Alastor with other characters :)

firstly, thank you for answering! i totally agree that, if you build on a character's canon aro/ace orientation, then shipping them would be okay. ive just heard other people say doing that was aroace erasure, and i didnt feel like i had much say, because (as previously stated) im aceflux and nebularomantic.

my sexuality fluctuates, and i cant really tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction, which is why i didnt feel qualified to put out my opinion on such matters

i also feel like i should apologize, bc i kinda feel like my ask may have snowballed into some sort discourse? idk, just from what i saw when looking at the blog every now and then, it looked like some shit was going down, revolving around Alastor 😭

now, onto why im here: why should someone do if a person they looked up to, who outwardly supported the aroace community, turns out to be a horrible person? (im sure that some people reading this can already guess who im talking about)

i feel so icky about the situation, bc ive supported and loved this person for years. all of the songs theyve ever written have been so aro-coded (as said by aromantics), and a vast majority of their fanbase is aromantic/on the aro/ace spectrum, myself included. they even spoke about their love for the aromantic community openly, and now, with them being exposed as a horrible person, i dont really know how to feel. is there any advice you could give me and others who are in the same boat? /nf

—sincerely, 🦢🦌

No it’s all good! The discourse was started by me ducking up and some people taking it slightly to far.

Unfortunately I do know who you’re talking about. I was in that fandom back in 20-22 ish, and I couldn’t be happier that I left. Honestly. I don’t know ANYthing about the situation other then someone being revealed to be a piece of shit for some reason and I would like to keep it that way:

I don’t need to know the details about what this person did.

Small side note before I begin:

I think the problem is a lot of people have put people like that on a pedestal while not knowing anything about them. 

The big difference between e- celebrities and true (actors, singers, rich assholes ect) celebrities is the accountability of the public. True celebrities have been held accountable much sooner and to much more effect then e-celebrities due to the fact that the media cares what they do. The paparazzi ect

People talking about not listening to said persons music anymore: reminder that it’s not only them who produces and plays that music. Don’t listen to their solo shit, burn CDs rip it off YouTube, piracy is on the rise.

The rest of the people involved with the band are NOT at fault here and their career and income should not have to suffer for an asshole.

“Cancel” the person not the team.

You can still relate to something without relating to the asshole

You can still relate to something without being the asshole

Be respectful

Listen to victims

And a word for my aspecs ->

The amount of straight people who are just as bad doesn’t matter here, no matter what happens next, all people will see is “he supported aroace spec people” and will try and use it.

Ignore that block them and report harassment

Stay safe anon

[kusundei]

it is so cold and i am. feeling very odd. trying to lock in but also cant fight the feeling from being lashed earlier like sorry ^_^;. but idk judt generally i cant lock in. i mean im doing it likr halfassed but it rlly isnt working. like i dont know i am fighting a very guilty feeling for some reason and jsut tjinking aloott. i like being out like this but alsi i amCOLD. cold cold cold but the scenery is nice. i dont like thr building being next to me i feel like i am being percieved. just feleing bery odd. its no big deal though i am just like… errr..’idk. very tweakish. keep being reminded the weight of my assignments. i need to lock in and get so much shit done but i feel like dying just a little bit. or moreso just staring off into the distance and thinking. i have just a little over an hour lect and sigh. sigh sigh sigh. still fighting a feeling. feel like im going to get lashed for being here when i WORKHERE like i am so sorry……….. i woill stay in my lane.

i dont know theres just so much shit to do and i want a break but i feel weird bcuz why am i undeserving. tiktok has sent me spiraling into a raabbit hole and the constant stress and lashings and being treated like i am burdening and bothering others wont leave me alone. do i acknowledge i am probably overthinking it? yeah. do i still feel awful? yes. i am falling behind. moreo accademically and it is bothering me bcuz why am i struggling.? and then i get bothered again bcuz why am i struggling in general. i am generally happier but then i wonder to myself if i really am because why do i feel so? vulnerable? its weird and scary. like why am i abt to crash out. constantly. why do i keep getting overwhelmed why do other people and their thoughts annd opinions bother me. why am i constantly on some kind of verge. like there is nothing wrong yet there is always something wrong. i feel very exhausted. ish. mentally. physically. moreso mentally i think but i will not give myself that break and it is odd. i judt feel like all the work is making me fester that self hatred i get again. i hate myself again. and its bad brcause the feeling comes and goes but it has always stayed longer that it is welcomed for. it will come easier than it will leave me. what even happened?? nothing. just alot. i fesl like i am missing slmetjing. i feel like i am dumb. insignificant. but ive always felt like that. then i think abt it and i feel like i do matter sometimes. lkke i do something and people know who i am and remember me and suddenly i feel like ive done something and that my life matters. the sun is fading and as it gets closer and closer towards that date again i keep asking myself whyyy. why do i bother. i have a textbook answer ive told myself over and over for years to keep myself sane but is that true? or am i lying tomyself in the same way ive lied over and over? because why do i do that? i lie to the truth. i am the truth. my existence and the way my brain works and how i think and function as a person is my truth. i fight a feeling im afraid will never leave me

the sun is setting. i am feeling. odder. more webweavy maybe. anthems for a seventeen year old girl. used to be one of the rotten ones and i liked you for that. now youre all gone got your makeup on and youre not coming back.

[theshiftingfairy]

Well, i want to ask for some advice on shifting.

I haven’t shifted yet,becuse i am indecisive.like i have too many shifting ideas, Too many wr ideas. That i cannot choose one to shift. I feel like i need to focus on a single idea.but i dont know.😮‍💨

And i have read your post of waiting room.you wrote that you also have multiple wr.so,how do you manage it?

Also, is shifting to a familiar realities like tv shows or books easier than shifting to a reality completely out of our imagination.?

This is all very interesting questions we don’t hear often, and I would love to discuss, so thank you for your ask !

Keep in mind that while I had shifting experiences in the past, I have yet to shift for long periods of time, in fictional drs anyway, so I wouldn’t call myself a shifting expert ^^’

I feel you, I think a lot of us have our imagination running wild with the infinite possibilities of shifting and it makes it hard to settle on one place.

Having multiple waiting rooms

There is personally two things I do :

- before trying to shift , I decide on one place, even if it’s hard to decide which one, I decide on only one.

I think it’s important to remind yourself that shifting to one place won’t keep you from shifting to any others drs later.

I go with the one I feel the most excited about in the moment. And if during meditation I have images of my others waiting rooms or drs coming to mind, I accept them, let them play for a bit and gently push them away.

I don’t personally believe having images or ideas of others places than the one you decided on first will keep you from shifting, as long as you made your intention clear before starting to shift. ( by simply saying “I’m shifting to my blank dr/wr) repressing them would only make them come back stronger in my opinion.

- I made it so there is a magical “narnia wardrobe”/ door in all my waiting rooms that connect them together, so technically all my waiting rooms are the same reality and it’s all a matter of where I wake up first and if I shift in one of the waiting room but suddenly don’t feel like being there anymore, I just have to open the door.

I think this reduce the fear of “deciding wrong” if that make sense 😅 ( there is no wrong answer in this situation ofc, it’s the anxiety talking )

When it comes to waiting rooms, the whole point is to wind down before or after shifting to more exciting drs. It shouldn’t be a source of anxiety , so I would recommend to keep it simple, focusing on one room, maybe a house before trying to focus on more complicated settings.

For instance I had a Disney dreamlight valley waiting room that I now consider more like a full dr, even though there is still doors making me shift to my drs inside the castle. That’s because there is a lot of other people in that dr, there is not only my house but all the Disney villagers. And there is no plot, but when there is a community , there will always be situation where it’s difficult to really wind down.

If I feel really excited about going there I won’t stop myself ofc, but I try to focus on more simple wrs where it’s just me, for the first time at least.

Tv shows and books drs 🆚 imagination drs

For your second question, i believe it’s not so much about the dr coming from a book/show or from your imagination than the emotional bond attach to it.

It’s true that for shows, we have more visual resources to connect to our dr, but I think the important part is the feelings we have towards the realities we want to shift to, the strong emotions we felt while discovering the story, the bond it creates for us with the characters.

And sure, a show or a book is made to make us feel strong attachment, but our imagination can create just as strong if not more of an emotional bond.

Some people have a fictional world inside their head that really haunts them, and it can actually make it easier for those people to shift to these places that come from their imagination. I saw a girl on the French shifttok who talked about a world she invented and intent to shift to (and “mini” shifted a few times if I remember correctly) because of how dear this place is to her heart.

Btw, I think that it’s one thing that can make it more difficult to shift in a Wr, since we are less likely to create a connection to one place, no matter how beautiful and whimsical we make it if there is no emotional bond attached to it. I personally feel attached to the wrs I have scripted and I like them for different reasons (I could talk more about it in another post) but it could be one reason why it’s difficult to shift in a wr for some people.

Now, I hope this post could give you some clarity 💜

The overall message is don’t stress too much about it and follow your heart, it knows the way. (cheesy I know 😆)

Happy shifting 🧚🏻‍♀️

[elliottlee23]

{♤Here's a lil about me for anyone curious♤}

♡My name is Elliott Lee!♡

I struggle with alot but here are a list of some

{Autistic} { ocd } { ptsd } { bpd }

{ generalized anxiety disorder / GAD for short }

{ Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome / POTS for short }

{Ehlers-Danlos syndrome}

{ Here are also some of my interests! }

{I'm a artist I may post some more of my art on here in the future just let me know if you wanna see thatt}

I crochet a bit and a lil bit of knitting but I suck

I make alot of stuff out of clay

Jewelry, figures, mini stuff etc

And I do origami some times

I love games here's what I'm playing currently:

:VrChat: :Stardew: :minecraft: :sims4: :breathe of the wild(again): :tears of the kingdom:

And if you have any suggestions please leave them because I always need more games

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

¿Tw? Some stuff I talk about next might be a lil upsetting so beware<3

I've been selfh@rming sense I was 5 it started with hitting myself or thing now its cntting, bnrning, drinking, smoking, not eating, ect

____________________________________

I've had a problem with food from a very young age also around 5-7 I always had to finish my food no matter what and I had to eat it no matter what it was if I didn't I'd stay at the kitchen table for hours and I'd get yelled at and told I was spoiled rotten and selfish and all that good shit

And I always was the "chubby kid" so if ykyk I got picked on about my weight some but I was always the hardest on myself then anyone else was.

My ed got bad when I was 9-10 that's when I started keeping track of what I ate when I ate how much I was eating I had books and books of my ed logs I used to eat around 800 kals a day and stop eating at 9am I was still just a kid and its really sucky going back and reading all that

I'm 17 now my ed it the worst it's ever gotten but I'm not underweight so to me it doesn't feel that bad it could be worse I'm trying to lose weight still but I have a boyfriend now and when I tell you hes the bestest thing to have ever happened to me I swear on my life hes everything you could ever want in a partner and I'm so scared of fucking this up because of this stupid eating disorder. So at the same time I'm trying to get worse and better what a war to fight huh?

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

I surprised I'm even here to be honest no one but my partner knows this but I've had quite a few attempts my last one was the worst dec 14th 2022 I dont think I'll ever fully recover from it and to this day no one knows even tho I was in a house full of people it would break my parents heart I dont think they could handle knowing I might not even tell them one day but who knows right?

Not much else to say but now you know a little more about me maybe we can be friends or maybe this can be some message on the internet you remember for days to come a reminder that it's not always worth it. Doing all this to yourself but it's your life dont live it in mind of other people their thoughts. Opinions. Their choices. Because you only get one body for this life time use it wisely or waste away completely I wont stop you

but what ever you choose know some day somewhere out there, it does. Get better.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

[AS]

[raincamp]

12 01 2023

vent post

i want to murder my roommate so fucking bad.

ive been feeling like shit recently. my hormones are all out of wack bc my endo didnt refill my testosterone for two weeks, and also started me on progesterone. ive been feeling more intensely in the past three days than i have in the past 6 months. its scary. and dysphoria inducing.

its like my bpd is coming back full force. i had it fucking numbed away for the past 3 months and now its back and i cant fucking ignore it. im gonna fail soon, fail at coping through stuff.

ive been using drugs and alcohol to do that work for me and now im trying to be sober. i think thats fucking with me too. im becoming unbearable. unbearable to myself and to the people around me. im so much better when im on something.

i had my first day at a new job today. i only worked 3 hours but the job is super physical and i ended up immediately falling asleep the second i got home, and then my roommate woke me up, and then my cat wouldnt let me go back to sleep (not in the cute way)

my roommate is getting on my fucking nerves today, and im trying to tell myself that its just because im exhausted from work and moody bc of my new medication but FUCK dude i hate him so fucking much. he used to be my best friend. im splitting.

he keeps like. dating people. which is fine, but hes online dating and he keeps getting ghosted, which is normal, but of course he has to ask me for my opinion, and for advice, and then he always automatically shuts me down, or turns it around to me saying something bad about him. like. hes specifically asking me for advice. and then not listening to me. and then making me look bad.

and its always fucking "i did something wrong, somethings wrong with me" and honestly its getting to the point where im tired of hearing him say that. im tired of telling him to stop putting his self worth onto girls that dont even have the decency to tell him they dont like him.

and then when i go to walk away, end a conversation, ignore him, etc. hes always thinking im mad at him or he did something wrong no matter what i say to reassure him. i tell him im tired from work, im hungry, its not about him, i need time alone, and then he starts getting upset about it.

i hate it because it reminds me of me.

maybe not now me. not current me. current me knows how to reassure myself. current me knows how to communicate. current me knows how to cope through percieved abandonment.

he doesn't and it pisses me off. now i have to do the mental work for both of us.

im so fucking angry

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi, if possible, it would be really helpful for this ask to be answered soon, but i understand if thats too much to ask. know you guys get a lot of these, so no pressure.

im looking for advice/an opinion i guess? trigger warning for dissociation, derealization.

so. recently ive been going through really severe identity disturbance and its been causing me a lot of suicidal thoughts and dissociative episodes. the core components of my self just keep changing, like my gender, name, sexuality, interests, etc. sometimes i feel like a completely separate person and its really upsetting because each time it happens i think, "ok, so i figured myself out finally and this is who i am now." but then it goes and changes again and i hate it. i just want to be a fixed person i dont want to keep changing. im so confused and upset. along with this, i also have episodes/moments where nothing feels real. where the world feels fake and as if im living inside another persons imagination or dream. sometimes it feels like im just daydreaming and im a fictional character or something, and when i feel like that i operate as though my actions have no real consequences and that nothing bad can happen to me or that it doesn't matter if i ignore or be mean to people, because its not real. sometimes i feel like im trapped in my own body except its not really mine, or if it is it doesnt feel like mine, because i dont know what im supposed to feel like if that makes any sense. i feel like i dont know who i am.

ive considered before that this could be bpd or osdd, but i dont think i could have either of those? because i didnt have a very traumatic childhood. it wasnt perfect, and i was raised around some verbal abuse and spanked but nothing that warrants whats happening to me now and that makes it all the more upsetting. i dont know why im like this. there couldnt possibly be anything that bad that happened to me to cause this, right?? but then again im not truly sure. i dont want to accidentally convince myself that something did happen to me, but i dont remember a lot of my childhood. i dont remember feeling anything. i know i did, and i remember events through people telling/reminding me that they happened but i dont remember experiencing or feeling anything firsthand, really.

im sorry if this was a lot. do you know what this might be, or the possible causes? i dont know who else to ask or what to do. i dont feel like "myself" and im scared.

- jory

Hi Jory,

What you experienced certainly could be traumatizing, and it's important to remember that trauma isn't defined by what happened, but rather by the degree to which we're affected by it. There are many factors that influence someone's resilience, which is their ability to recover from stressful or potentially traumatic events. This means that one person may not be traumatized by something that another person experiences severe trauma symptoms over, and vice versa. It's also worth noting that not being able to remember a lot of your childhood suggests there's more going on here, especially considering that amnesia is often a characteristic of dissociative disorders.

That being said, while what you are experiencing could be a part of OSDD, it could just be various levels of depersonalization and derealization, such as feeling like your body isn't yours or that things aren't real. You know yourself best at the end of the day, and it should ultimately be up to you how you describe or label your experiences.

Ultimately, if you can access or afford it, this is something to ask a mental health professional such as a therapist, who is much more knowledgeable in identity disturbance and how to treat this. They can help you explore your childhood and why you have trouble remembering it, and potentially evaluate you for the disorders you've previously considered.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[mostlymalena]

November 13th 2024 11:00pm

Dont forget I am 2 hours ahead of EST lmao.

Also my fucking right shift key is sticky now which is equally gross and annoying.

I finally have been keeping up with my day and thoughts by using fucking Siri of all god forsaken things. Poor girl writes down my thoughts while I'm in the middle of the street.

Locals go fucking crazy for ice cream day here. Ice cream day is when the local shop has a 2 for 1 deal and bitches go bonkers. It's good ice cream but nothing has beat that shop next to Ibis. Corn bread fucking ice cream makes me patriotic as hell.

Anyways to my thoughts:

Last night around 3:10am I asked Siri to write down the feeling of traveling and meeting new people and loving it but also the feeling, well more the realization how much I value the people I know. I love my friends and family. I love love love my house in Wilmington and my friend group. We are so pure and so good and it's everything I ever hoped for as a child. I love Zarate. I feel at home here. I am prettier here. I glow and I shine. I have never wished to be split down the middle but I wish that now.

Knowing how much I love my friends would not feel this good if I questioned if they felt the same. They remind me constantly and in so many loving ways. I don't think I could ever repay them and you know what they would never ask to be repaid. Love is so full and so dynamic and I wish for naught.

Traveling always makes me realize how valuable what I have is. How people might search for this and how I won't ever need to. I value my community, I am so protective over this. Maybe that is why I am so political. It matters what people in charge think about how my friends should be living.

I miss bay ugh.

I think this blog should be (and is) a reflection of my life not a documentation of the suffering of my mind. That is why all of the sappy shit stays in my physical journal. Loooootttaa Gracie stuff in that thing, maybe that's why it weighs my bag down when I walk down the streets. I miss her but not in a lovers way; it has morphed into something it was meant to be all along. We know each other's souls and that is something you cannot take back. I think us forcing it to be romantic the past four years was like forcing a bee and a wolf to be friends when we coexist perfectly by ourselves and still in the same life cycle and food chain. I belong with other wolves and I always thought honey was too sweet anyways. We both love flowers.

Another thing about moving here and becoming more aware is that I realized I should have been worse in Wilmington.

I should have been worse.

What was I doing. What was I so afraid of lmao. I knew this trip would change me; and I mean... it already has but this was a surprise. I won't be the same when I come back to Wilmington and I'm glad. How small Wilmington seems to me in the big world. How useless behaving is there. Tip-toeing around all these groups and their feelings and their reputations that don't mean anything to anyone.

Who cares. I thought I didn't but I realized in ways I did!

I think that is all I have right now I need to sleep.

Tomorrow we are going bikini shopping, working, fishing in the river, a party for a match that is on tomorrow. We head to Brazil monday and La Cofla all weekend. Busy all day everyday goodness.

I gotta remember to take some pics of myself to track how much I change and so people don't forget about what I look like lmao.

I've eaten as many empanadas as they let me. I have a daily limit. I chug mate all day as well which has me looking slimmer in my opinion. slay.

Good night for now.

[psyraah]

On discourse, and always (ALWAYS) managing to choose the problematic ship

I been doing like. A lot of thinking about various topics, and sorting through my psyche on various things. I figured out that I got some mental health and self-esteem crap going on since last year, and I’ve been working with it. But progress is slow and non-linear, and sometimes things I’ve learnt I...forget. Much like at uni!! So I want to start writing some of these things down to not only remind myself of conclusions and thoughts I’ve come up with, but also maybe to help others think and be more at peace with who they are. 

I don’t normally do discourse stuff. I prefer to focus on the good, and on being a positive force in the community around me. But this is both a bit of that, and will discuss discourse stuff, and it’ll probably be the only time I discuss it at any great length. Under a cut because well. Probably gonna be a long one (Psy, you could spend this time writing instead...)

An/ti behaviour makes me uncomfortable. Like, I’ve gone through all the logical, rational arguments in my head, discussed it with many, many people I trust to be socially responsible and morally good, and come to the conclusion that no, my ships aren’t causing the world to burn. I’m not here to discuss that, because others have done so far more eloquently that I can, and that’s all reblogged in my discourse tag. But for a while now I haven’t been able to shake the, well, shaky feeling I get whenever I’m even reminded of the mere thought of ant/is. I am not someone who is driven by conflict or disagreement, so even the mere thought of someone, anyone, let alone a chunk of people, thinking that I was evil and gross got to me. I’ve been going to therapy, so in the past few months I have been actively trying to figure out why things make me uncomfortable, and how to deal with that discomfort. Part of that is using positive thoughts to counter negative thoughts, in a nutshell, or challenging thoughts to knock the negative down. 

And the one that I’ve been using, my weapon against this constant barrage of ‘you’re gross, you’re a horrible person’, is that what others think of you is not who you are. And that is something that I have to remind myself of constantly. What others think of you is not who you are. I am a smart, self-aware, compassionate individual. I can assess my behaviours, and consider the logical arguments, even if I don’t believe them entirely. I can lean on people I trust to be honest with me, and trust their assessment too. What other people think of me is not me. These internet strangers don’t know me; they’ve never talked to me. They’ve taken one facet of my life--one thing only, out of so many parts of me--and made a judgment call. 

And that’s not on me. I have so many more people around me who actually know me. Who know my life, who know what I do. I have you guys, and you (hopefully) think I’m doing okay. So all that--that’s not on me. I do one thing and I’m labelled as evil? That’s not on me. They don’t know me, and what they think isn’t who I am. That’s what I keep reminding myself. 

THE END because as always, I don’t know how to write endings. 

[aratype]

every day is a constant struggle to accept that i’ll never be liked by everyone, and that having just 1, 2 or 3 close friends is actually ok