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dollyyun · 6 days ago

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DKP 7.4, FINALE (incomplete draft)

note: this is not proofread, so what you're about to read is the finale in its raw form with horrendous typos, grammatical errors and some paragraphs and even dialogues that don't make sense so don't expect much.

also way below are spoilers/details of the unwritten scenes (also in its raw form aka messy af) again i’m sorry if they don’t make any sense. i promise the revamped will be better. do send asks if you have anything to clarify!

wc: 11.9K

Time eventually became a valuable essence you began appreciating more, as well as cultivating your career, your friendships, your familial ties, and most especially your relationship with the guys that continues to blossom, because days turned into weeks, and weeks slipped into months just like how time slipped between your fingers before you could even grasp onto it a little longer.

Just thinking about the journey you sailed throughout those periods has you breaking into a soft grin while the upturned shape of your lips can be felt on his shoulder, prompting him to cast a quick glance down at you with a raised eyebrow. It is as though the past recollections are a memorable playback in your mind with waves of nostalgia descending on you benignly.

It has been three months since you agreed to and established a polyamorous relationship with the guys, but it certainly was not all sunshine and rainbows ─ not saying that you often had arguments with them or that your relationship was all toxic. In fact, the guys genuinely and solemnly stayed true to their words in regards to treating you better than they did before.

But at the end of the day, they’re humans too, so flaws were inevitable. There were moments when you got into minor disputes with them and felt infuriated by their actions that ticked you off the same way they felt towards yours. However, a clear rule had been established that was deemed important in your relationship: listen and hear each other out before proceeding to the communication stage, followed by any needed consolation.

Those moments were rare, but they happened, and it is cliché to say this, but after every argument or petty dispute, your relationship seemed to improve significantly each time, and you slowly began to understand each other’s flaws and complexities better with open minds. You also acknowledged that not once did they ever raise their voice or hand at you during arguments, even if anger brimmed in their veins, and you appreciated that, just as you began to appreciate every little thing they did.

To the guys, their love for you outweighs anything else, and they treasure you more than you will ever know, which is why their anger would always be short-lived, as all that mattered to them was you running and seeking comfort and home in their arms at the end of the day. All in all, they had been nothing but amazing lovers in spite of their flaws and differences.

Speaking of differences, the dynamic flow in your relationship is oddly smooth, considering that each of them has a primal instinct of possessiveness towards you, but somehow, they make it work, and no schedule is needed when it comes to the fairness of spending time with you individually. Likewise, how being in a relationship with four guys didn’t feel as awkward to you as it was in the very beginning.

Plus, your friends in Milan were informed of your new relationship status, and they were more than accepting that you’re a taken woman. Initially, you did have some lingering worries about your friend’s differing opinions despite being accepting, but they treated you just the same, only putting a little more distance now with Eunwoo and Wooseok. The two older guys have known and seen how possessive your boyfriends could get, and so they respected your boyfriends enough to establish more boundaries between you and them. But to you, the two men probably wanted to save their hide from your lovers, who are more than capable of doing any form of harm.

As for Jennifer, she still doesn't particularly like your boyfriends, but after seeing how evidently happier you are compared to the years she spent with you, she couldn’t deny that your being in a relationship with them was right and meant to be. Of course, she gave a strict warning to your boyfriends, albeit they didn’t feel threatened by her, about breaking your heart again and taking good care of you on the day she, along with her father and your boyfriends, helped you in moving out.

Moving out of your apartment, especially when it was Jennifer’s father who generously gifted your once-humble abode to you, was honestly a challenging decision because even though you were totally psyched about living with your boyfriends, your apartment held both bittersweet memories of both hardships and ease.

As for Jennifer’s father, aka Mr. Huh, his reaction was not what you expected, albeit he looked a tad astounded after he had been told of your polyamorous relationship. Since he took you under his wing for quite a period of time and regarded you like his second daughter, it was natural for you to feel obliged to formally introduce your boyfriends to him, and you couldn’t lie about how nervous you were for them because Mr. Huh is an austere man who is fiercely protective towards his loved ones and has high standards, but much to your surprise, he seemed accepting and amiable enough to welcome them to the family on behalf of your parents.

Upon watching the interaction between your father figure and the loves of your life, you couldn’t help with the guilt pulling at your heartstrings of making the decision to move out of your apartment as you felt incredibly indebted to Mr. Huh for everything he had done and for supporting you when you had nothing in the beginning of your new journey here. You consulted about living with your boyfriends permanently with both Jennifer and Mr. Huh, and you even apologised to him profusely with tears filling your waterline, but the elder reassured you that he understood your decision and remained a supportive father figure till this day.

Both Jennifer and Mr. Huh wanted you to worry less about such trivial matters and instead, they genuinely wanted you to be happy with your life and your blooming relationship because you deserved it after going through different stages of tribulation. Just like your boyfriends, your comfort and happiness matter the most to the father-daughter duo.

On the other hand, the guys moved into the mansion two weeks before the actual date of their lease termination over the penthouse that also held memories you made with them. They refused to do it at the very last minute, and plus, it would be convenient for them in advance as they wanted to focus on helping you with packing and moving out after dealing with paperwork and other vital issues at hand.

Moving in was the easiest part, considering you had more help than you would’ve thought, but to unpack your stuff from the boxes was simply gruelling that you had to take a day to take a breather before resuming it on the day after instead. Thankfully, your room had already been meticulously furnished by them, so it lessened your burden as you only needed to unpack and organise your stuff; even so, you felt easily fatigued.

When you first stepped into your designated bedroom, a wave of nostalgia hit you like whiplash in the face while you were in awe at how similar the design and layout were to your old bedroom back at the palace in Seoul ─ the walls were painted in cream that made the room more spacious than it already was, a queen-sized bed with upholstered bedframe that looked like puffs of clouds pressing up against the wall where the windows were nearly situated and by the window sill had ample space for at least four people to sit on top of the white fleecy cushion, your very own personalised makeup vanity corner with a full-length mirror next to it, and a fairly big walk-in closet for your clothes and other storage.

You felt the sincerity and love in their efforts in the way they organised and designed your room, rendering you overwhelmed and tearing up as you felt deeply touched. The guys panicked when a single tear rolled down your cheeks, but you chuckled and reassured them that you were being melodramatic. Of course, you didn’t forget to deliver your utmost gratitude to them even though they insisted that it was nothing and that they were simply doing their job as your lovers.

Frankly, it took you almost a week to finally settle in with the help of the guys, even though they had work obligations to fulfil during the daytime, but that also meant depriving you of being intimate with them. Hence, you took the liberty to organise and create schedules for each of them who would be having individual appointments on different days with you.

The sensation of warm, soft lips pressing into your cheek pulls you out of your reverie as you blink your eyes repeatedly before looking at Jake, who has been observing you with curious eyes. “What got you smiling like that, sweetheart?” He asks with an amused smile, placing his hands on your bare thighs and rubbing them in soothing motions as you are perched comfortably on his lap with your folded legs encasing his outer thighs while he is seated on his computer chair.

“Nothing much. Just thinking about our love-life,” You say lightly with a sheepish smile on your lips, eliciting a breathy yet fond chuckle from him as he leans back into his chair leisurely, his posture no longer as tense as earlier. You take a glance over your shoulder, looking back to see his computer screen that displays data and code that you are unable to decipher while a frown slowly tugs at the corners of your lips. “Are you still not done with work yet?”

You don’t want to sound like a whiny, clingy girlfriend, but this time, impatience is absent from within you. Unfortunately, Jake’s appointment with you clashed with his impromptu work schedule that required him to complete his follow-up tasks. Despite the disappointment, you understood that he must attend and fulfil his work obligation since he’s the head of the security team after all.

So you decided to hang around his personalised office room, but boredom eventually struck you, and your patience was running thin as you watched him in his element. Though it had been half an hour since you settled in his office, you chose to admire his handsomeness that nearly enticed you to pounce on him like an untamed animal to kill the time, but it was ineffective to your boredom. Somehow, Jake was able to sense your dampened, sulky temperament as his work forced him to neglect you for more than it should, and so he beckoned you over to sit on his lap while waiting for him to finish.

You obviously felt keen and rushed to him, nearly tripping over some wires that had him chuckling at your clumsiness. Your short pleated skirt allowed easy access for you to settle your thighs over the sides of his as you managed to perch on his lap comfortably with your arms around him, to which he didn't mind and instead adjusted his seating position for your arms to wrap comfortably around him.

Every so often, you would rest your chin on top of his broad shoulder and give him tender kisses on his neck in an attempt to ease him whenever you felt his body tense up while listening to the sound of keyboards being pressed behind you. Of course, you did not miss the opportunity to bury your nose into his chest, nuzzling and inhaling his scent that offered you solace with his warmth cocooning you like a safety blanket. Despite being focused on his work, he would smile or press a tender kiss on your crown at your every action that he finds endearing.

Seeing the adorable pout on your kissable lips, Jake chuckles breathily as he grabs your hand before pressing a tender kiss on your knuckle in apology. “I’m finally done with my last task. I’m sorry you had to wait for so long.” He leans back against his chair, his head tilting lightly yet adorably while he gives you a boyish grin that sends familiar flutters to your beating heart. “I’m all yours now, lovely. So what do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I just want to cuddle with you and be close to you like this.” You tell him rather bashfully while his eyes soften as he gazes at you with an unmistakable fondness, knowing that you haven’t gotten the chance to be closely intimate with him alone ever since you settled in the mansion for a week now. “We can also watch some movies after cuddling or make something in the kitchen. Plus, I’m kind of craving s'mores.”

Jake nods his head meaningfully before leaning forward to place a chaste kiss on your lips. “Anything my girl wants,” His voice is laced with affection, and his eyes are gazing at you adoringly, which has you feeling all giddy. “You said you want to cuddle, right? We can cuddle comfortably there.”

Holding your thighs securely, Jake rises from the computer chair as he carries you with ease while you instinctively wrap your arms around him with your legs locking around his waist securely. He proceeds to amble across the other side of his office room. “We can do it like this.” He suggests with a mischievous grin, letting himself fall backward while squeals leave your lips as you hold onto him tight, embracing yourself for the incoming impact before he finally lands on the beanbag with a grunt that sounds huskily low and has you feeling something else straight in your lower stomach.

As the last of your giggles wane, you feel a palpable shift in the air around you, something rather raw yet intimate, before noticing the way Jake gazes at you with intense yet adoring fondness as he strokes the back of your head gently with his fingers playing intermittently at your strands. “I’d love to cuddle with you more than anything, but I feel a little tired, sweetheart. Plus it feels nice to hug you like this. What if I fall asleep?”

“Then sleep. You deserve it. Besides, you’ve been working for over two hours." You reassure him, smiling softly as you see how his eyelids are getting heavier with each passing second. You lift your head up for a bit to place a tender kiss on his lips before murmuring. “I love you, Sim Jaeyun.”

Jake smiles lazily against your lips, and just before you can pull away, he cradles the back of your head with his palm and presses your lips into his, kissing you deeply. The kiss feels sensual yet so innocent, his lips moving with yours tenderly in an unfamiliar dance, but soon enough, you feel something hard poking your lower abdomen that has you gasping softly into the kiss. Just like that, the last traces of sleep dissipate as his kisses begin to feel ravenous in the way his lips devour yours, utterly insatiable.

“Jaeyun,” You utter his name breathlessly as he pulls away from your lips, only to be startled when he switches position before you find yourself leaning on the beanbag with your legs being forcefully spread by his frame, barely giving you time to process the change of once tender atmosphere when he leans down and captures your lips in a kiss that demonstrates his desperation for you.

“Change of plans, sweetheart,” Jake rasps against your parted lips as you pant for air. He gives you no opportunity to recover from the nearly heated makeout session when he moves down to assault your bare neck with his ravenous lips, kissing and sucking your skin that forms a new hickey while your breaths become rapid with breathy moans leaving your lips as you buck up your hips, causing your clit to throb incessantly at the sensation of his hard bulge grinding directly at your clothed cunt.

“Are you not tired?” You manage to ask breathily despite your head spinning with desire for this insatiable man. You feel his hand moving underneath the material of your shorts and panties while your heart pounds harder in anticipation as his fingers nearly reach your throbbing clit.

“I’m feeling rather famished for something else,” His husky voice sounds heavenly in your ear, and there is an unmistakable desire in the cadence of his voice, borderline ravenous, that you feel giddy at the thought of him devouring you until you are reduced to nothing. He pulls away, only to meet your eyes and smirk down at you as he sees the utter want in your pretty eyes. His smirk melts into a soft grin for a fleeting moment, murmuring gently. “I love you more, my sweetheart."

Loving Sim Jaeyun is so easy, and you always find yourself falling in love with him over and over again. He is annoyingly mischievous at times, but he never does anything to upset you and tries his best. Even when you have already known that he is the most volatile with his emotions and his past diagnosis with borderline personality disorder, your love for him only grows as days pass. Although you also trust the other guys, you find it most comfortable to confide in Jake about any concerns, just like how you did back in Seoul.

As for sleeping arrangements, well, you don’t really have one with them, but on some nights Jake abandons his own bed just to head over to yours and sleep with you with his head on your chest as he listens to your steady heartbeat, simply because he wants to make sure your heart remains beating. You know that he fears losing you, and so it has become a habit for him to listen to your heartbeat whenever he lies on top of you, anchoring himself to you to reassure his paranoid mind that you’re real.

After Jake’s appointment is Sunghoon’s, but instead of you taking charge in planning leisure activities for the two of you, Sunghoon takes an insistent initiative, as according to him, he has been planning this surprise for weeks now, even before your settlement in the mansion.

Though Sunghoon is confident that you will love the surprise, he can’t lie about how nervous he feels, facing you as he carefully guides you to the awaited location of the surprise with his hands gripping yours, albeit the surprise is in the mansion itself, while your eyes are wrapped with a blindfold.

“Hoonie, this is so silly.” You remark with chuckles leaving your upturned lips, your eyes unable to see anything but the warmth of his hands providing you comfort, and his firm reassures you that he wouldn’t let you walk into a wall or bump into any object. “Why must I wear a blindfold when I could just close my eyes instead?”

“Because knowing you, you’d attempt to peek,” Sunghoon counters knowingly as a smirk touches his lips at your lips jutting into a pout. He intervenes before you can even make another comeback at him. “Don’t ruin the fun now, princess. Besides, we’re almost there. Just a few more steps.”

Sunghoon stays true to his words, because just a few more steps, you find yourself stopping in your tracks at the same time he does. He slowly lets go of your hands while you are shortly occupied by a fresh scent of something so familiar yet unfamiliar as it infiltrates your senses. “Okay, you can remove your blindfold now.” He instructs gently, his eyes remaining fixed on you.

You do as he told you, your fingers curling around the blindfold before pulling it down. Your eyes immediately adjust to the luminance encompassing the entire place, and after blinking for a few more times, your breath hitches in your throat at the pleasant surprise of his.

“Sunghoon…” You are at a loss for words, and maybe you are being melodramatic, but you can’t deny the whirlwind of emotions within you that threaten to overwhelm you. To others, the surprise is probably not a big deal, but to you? This has to be one of your memorable surprises.

For once, Sunghoon is unable to decipher the emotions swimming in your eyes and your impassive countenance—are you happy? disappointed? Or are you even surprised at all? He has no fucking clue, but the tension in his nerves becomes tenfold as he waits impatiently for your utterance. He desires your approval and satisfaction, and if he fails at pleasing you, it also means that he fails at being your lover.

“I know it’s not the surprise that you expected it to be,” Sunghoon finds himself needing to explain, albeit in a ramble, as the persisting silence from you unnerves him, but little does he know that you are simply occupied in admiring the sight before you. He tries his best to be subtle, but the nervousness in his voice is painfully evident in his ears. “I mean, you’ve already seen the library at the palace in Seoul back then, and the libraries we’ve been to in Milan are monumental, so this is probably nothing much.”

Sunghoon is silenced by your lips slamming into his parted ones with your arms thrown over his neck to pull him down just slightly, and he instantly wraps his arms around your waist, kissing you back with equal fervour, but there is a shared tenderness as your lips move against his slowly. Before you can get too carried away, you pull away from his lips, managing a soft, toothy smile at him while he swears he is falling in love with you over and over again.

“You have no idea how much I love it. Thank you so much for the surprise,” You say with utmost sincerity and gratitude that has his heart swelling. Your eyes soften as you see a rare display of his vulnerability in his eye, prompting you to place another kiss on his lips. “I love you, Park Sunghoon.”

Sunghoon feels like he’s on cloud nine at the irrevocable love and devotion in your beautiful, sparkling eyes as you look at him. All the hours he spent planning and designing the entire place to make it look similar to the one in Seoul, as well as his efforts in working together with the contractors, are all paid off. He would do it again just to make you happy like this.

Sunghoon feels a tug at his wrist before looking down at your hand. “Explore the library with me.” You say in a demand that has him breaking into chuckles before letting you navigate the library on your own with your fingers intertwined.

Even though the mansion’s library is not as monumental as the one in Seoul, it still looks beautiful and royally elegant with its interior design and opulence. It makes you feel like you’re a real princess with your very own royal library. So how can you not love his surprise and him?

No matter how tough and callous his demeanour is, you have always known that he is a softie at heart as you observe his every nuance before noticing the tip of his ears turning red, eliciting soft chuckles from you. The fact that Park Sunghoon, who you once knew, was never a man of romance and gifts, gifted you a place where you can explore different genres of fiction books that are filled to the brim on each shelf and read to your heart’s content is more romantic than he thinks.

Now, when it comes to Jay’s, you lack ideas of what to do and how you intend to spend the entire day with him, but fortunately for you, Jay loves to take charge and to be the one who plans your dates, not wanting his angel baby to think and worry incessantly. Apart from spoiling you with gifts, planning dates is part of his love language too.

Initially, you assume that he will be bringing you out to a more fancy date, but when he tells you to dress up in proper safety gear, you have a strong inkling that he will be bringing you out to a ride somewhere, and so you do as he tells you, donning black jeans and a leather jacket over your tight-fitting tee.

The next thing you know, you are perched behind him on his motorbike with your arms wrapped around him for security as he speeds on the broad road where there are towering boulevard trees on each side of the road.

You have no idea where Jay intends to bring you, but you trust him and his plans. Besides, you don’t mind riding all the way till night as you get to be this close with him, and so you enjoy this much-needed closeness with your arms hugging him tight enough that has him smiling behind the dark-tinted visor of his helmet. Turns out, the date not only includes bringing you out for a ride, but also exploring a street where you have never been as well as dining at a restaurant for lunch and trying out delectable pastries.

After the whole food adventure, Jay resumes bringing you for a ride with a fixed destination he intends to head to, and soon enough, you find yourselves entering a nearly empty yet broad parking lot with the beautiful orange hues of the impending sunset as a backdrop.

“So what are you planning on doing, exactly?” You ask with keen curiosity as you remain seated on his bike, your eyes following his movement and watching him as he presses the record button on his phone screen that is set up in a tripod stand, which he retrieved from your thigh bag.

Jay pushes up his visor to meet your eyes, and you see the way his eyes soften amidst the optimism. “I had this idea for a while now, and I’ve decided to capture moments of us on camera often from now on, whether they’re silly ones or not,” Just by the shape of his eyes alone, you can tell that he is smiling. “Because I want to show them to our child in the future; at least the glimpses of our love and dynamic.”

Your heart beats in a cadence that sounds symphonic in your ears while your eyes widen slightly at his statement. “Jay….” Your voice trembles with emotions with tears prickling in the corner of your eyes before you blink them away. You already know that he has the intention of marrying you one day, but to hear the two words of ‘Our child’ from his mouth hits you in the gut in a good way.

Jay’s chuckles through your helmet’s intercom send you butterflies all over as he extends his hand to you. “Come here, angel. We should say hello to our baby.” He beckons you over, and you proceed to dismount his motorbike before gravitating towards him and placing your hand on his, only to be startled when he swiftly pulls you in for a back hug and faces his recording phone. “Hi, baby. This is your parents.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh at how awkward the introduction was. “That’s not how you're supposed to do it, babe,” You tell him in between chuckles as you look at him with crescent-shaped eyes while he narrows his eyes in return. You redirect your focus on the camera and wave your hand at it. “Hi baby! This is Mummy!" You add a little yet dramatic flair to your introduction before gesturing your hand to Jay behind you. “And this is Daddy! We can’t wait to welcome you and hold you in our arms one day!”

Soon enough, the flow feels natural as you and Jay continue to give content to the recording camera—yapping off, teasing, and chasing after each other around the parking lot that is within the camera frame, and just being yourselves around one another without caring that you two may look like idiots in public, but at least no one is around. Plus, you get to see a new playful side of Jay.

After another round of chase, the two of you return nearer to the tripod stand while you pant lightly from all the running and laughing. Jay faces you, and as though you understand his telepathic message, you step a little closer before throwing your arms around his neck at the same time he hoists you up, prompting your legs to lock around his waist.

You are too caught up in the moment to notice that the timestamp nearly reaches fifty minutes with a rare, vulnerable intimacy wrapping around you and him as he gazes fondly into your eyes. “I love you, Y/N Kang.” He says, his voice sounding deeper and slightly muffled, and you initiate the helmet kiss in return before breaking into fits of giggles. Just like that, the two of you end off the first content that will be saved in a folder for your child in the near future.

Finally, the long-awaited day to spend alone time with Heeseung beckons, and it starts off with you dragging him to the newly furnished arcade room that has been ready to use since two days ago. Since the other guys are also out of the household, you plan to spend the entire day playing with him to your heart’s content.

You are not a fan of arcade games, really, but you can’t deny the thrilling rush of competitiveness as you challenge Heeseug in a race where the two of you are now at the motorcycle racing simulator. But just like the previous games, you can see how he deliberately loses against you, as though he is letting you win when you know it yourself that Lee Heeseung hates losing.

You have no idea whether to be annoyed at him for letting you win so easily or not, especially whenever he innocently shrugs his shoulders or grins boyishly at your accusatory glares, but the undeniable flutters you feel in your chest are all you need to know that you are falling head over heels for him again.

“I know that you’ve been losing on purpose, but can you please not go easy this time?” You implore him with your fingers intertwined as you stand in front of the two basketball machines.

Heeseung simply smirks at you as he slowly releases your hand. “As you wish, my love. Just don’t sulk when I win.” He acquiesces, and the confidence exuding from him fuses the competitive tension in the air around you as he rolls his shoulders to the back before pressing the start button simultaneously with you.

As soon as the balls drop, you waste no time grabbing one and launching it into the hoop before doing it repeatedly despite missing the net. You can’t help but take a glance at Heeseung, in awe at how he is doing it with ease yet expertly and the fact that the balls he launched managed to swish through the net while maintaining a cool demeanour.

You can’t even be mad that by the time the countdown eventually stops, you have lost against him with a huge difference in the scores, because damn it, your man looks distractingly attractive in his competitive element. Even he has been aware of your eyes on him almost throughout the game.

“You didn’t even try to win, love,” Heeseung chuckles as he grabs you by the waist and pulls you to him, his dark eyes drinking in how you look prettily flustered under the intensity of his gaze. “Was I too handsome for you to find it hard to look away?”

Warmth weaves across your cheeks as you smile bashfully and nod your head in response. His eyes soften with adoration for you, but there is something else present in them, as though he has more to say to you in his mind. A fleeting hesitancy flickers in his gaze before he leans in to place a chaste kiss on your lips while cradling your face with his thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. “Where to next, my love?”

In response, you break into a roguish grin before grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the arcade room. Not too long later, Heeseung finds himself strolling around the outer part of the stupendous mansion with you, his fingers intertwined with yours while he listens to your rambles attentively and gives his remark whenever appropriate. Honestly, he doesn’t mind spending the rest of your day like this, as it is what he needed after not being able to have more time alone with you except sleeping with you in his room at night because over the course of weeks, he had other important matters to deal with.

Soon enough, the two of you are seated on the water fountain ledge, which is situated in the backyard, with you yapping off nonsensically until an abrupt silence from you draws Heeseung’s attention. The loss of your warmth as you slip your hand from his prompts him to look at you, his eyebrow raising as he becomes intrigued at the stark mischief written across your features with a devilish smile on your lips.

“Beloved, what are you doing?” Heeseung asks slowly, his sharp eyes watching you with scrutiny as you remove your sandals before rising from your seat and dipping your bare foot inside the water fountain. Eventually, the lower region of your white dress is completely drenched, with the entirety of you now in the water fountain. “Sweetheart, you’ll get cold─”

In a blink of an eye, Heeseung feels an instant yet abrupt chilling sensation hitting him in the face, but wet before quickly comprehending that you just splashed a handful of water on him, rendering him nearly drenched with his white shirt visibly soaked and his hair wet.

That was definitely done on impulse, but you meant to do it anyway. You can’t help it with laughter leaving your lips, even if there is a chance he is pissed at your playful antics. You splash water at him again, but he abandons his seat and turns to you with a scowl on his handsome face, and yet the corner of his lips twitches into a menacing smirk.

“You’re so gonna get it, pretty girl,” Heeseung growls out at the same time you let out a squeal, unrelentingly marching towards you as he is now in the same fountain as you, unbothered by the water soaking the untouched part of his clothes.

Your gleeful shrieks and laughter echoing in the air create a euphonious symphony of pure delight that is both infectious and dear to him as he wholeheartedly entertains you, chasing and splashing water at you the same way you do to him.

“Don’t let me catch you, love,” Heeseung says, stopping midway as the two of you decide to take a moment of respite from the battle in the fountain, standing further apart opposite each other. “Or I’ll devour you like a predator does to its prey.” He grins deviously as he takes steps forward, intensifying the trepidation in you that propels you to jump over the ledge.

The chase prolongs even when the skies are painted in dusk, and you are now running barefoot and trying to elude Heeseung, but the latter seems to be guiding you in an unknown yet intended direction that eventually leads you further away from the backyard. Nevertheless, you play along, because being with Heeseung always seems to summon your inner child to come out.

Something nudges you to turn to the right, and you do, but your pace decreases and your smile falters, feeling mildly confused yet intrigued upon seeing pavement of cemented flagstones that seem to lead you somewhere with the beautiful hedges of greens and flowers on each side.

The chase with Heeseung has long been forgotten in your mind as you become immensely intrigued as you continue to advance forward, your feet stepping on the cold flagstones while Heeseung follows you from behind quietly yet stealthily with his hands tucked in his pockets, his features softening with unmistakable fondness.

Your face contorts into confusion as you begin to notice glowing radiance that flows faintly through an unbarred entrance with embellishment of elm leaves all over. Your steps hasten, feeling an undeniable sense of keenness at what may await you, and before you know it, the sight before your very eyes knocks the breath out of you.

Your eyes go wide while your lips go parted, in complete awe at the beauty of this seemingly secret garden that you had no idea existed. The adornment of fairy lights hanging intricately on the towering tree branches above you encompasses this newfound wonderland, making it appear as though you have entered a magical realm.

As you venture just a little deeper, you begin to notice some child-friendly amenities in some parts of the area: swings that are authentically crafted from slabs of wood for seats and affixed with thick ropes that are tethered to the stout branches, an impressive treehouse that looks sturdy with a scoop-designed slide, a cute playhouse painted in beige, and mini wooden benches.

The rustle from behind you pulls the trance that you are in, drawing your attention to Heeseung, who has been observing you with fond eyes, and you find yourself being rooted to the ground. “Heeseung, what….” You can’t seem to articulate your feelings that are jumbled into words while cacophonous questions clamour in the confines of your mind.

Heeseung briefly assesses your surroundings rather meaningfully as he ambles forward. “It isn’t much yet, but I do have plans on adding more amenities that are safe and fun for our kids in the near future.” He divulges the surprise he has been preparing for a while now.

You remain silent, feeling a whirlwind of emotions within you that threaten to sweep you away, and your heart continues to pound harder against your chest. He meets your eyes, and for the first time, his coolly collected demeanour cracks with the subtle yet sheepish smile unfurling on his lips as he rubs his nape. “I had some help from the guys and a contractor friend of Wooseok to come over to supervise the final condition of the amenities for safety reasons, but I crafted and assembled the swings on my own. Besides, it’s my idea in the first place.”

Your heart swells with so much affection as he takes pride in his hard work in the way he speaks confidently and takes the rightful credit. Just then, something clicks in your mind as you recall. “Is that why it was always so hard to see your face on most days since two weeks ago? Because you were busy planning and working on this beautiful wonderland?” You ask, your voice trembling with emotions.

You can’t lie that you are on the verge of bursting into a torrent of tears even though your waterline is void of tears as you think about how hard he has been working that even on the nights you slept with him, you noticed faint lines of exhaustion on his countenance. It deeply touches the depth of your heart, most especially when he thought of your future kids.

His eyes soften as he notices the way yours seem to glisten yet so beautifully under these fairy lights. “Yes, and it was all worth it for our future kids.” He says softly, his hand cradling your face with his thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. “I know it’s way too early to build a fun sanctuary for our kids, and I’m not even sure if you ever want kids, but that’s okay because this place is for you too. You can come here anytime and whenever.”

“I do want to have kids with you, Hee. More than anything.” Emotions manage to seep through the crack in your voice as you look into his eyes with unconcealing sentiment. You place your hand above his and lean into his touch, not realising a single teardrop manages to escape the corner of your eye as it rolls down your cheek that prompts him to wipe it away with his thumb. “Thank you for your hard work and this beautiful gift for our kids.”

Heeseung smiles in return before dipping his head and pressing his lips into yours, kissing you slowly with a careful gentleness, but you can feel his love pouring into the kiss as you reciprocate. You don’t even complain when the kiss lasts shortly as he pulls away first before resting his forehead against yours, basking in the serenity and tender intimacy that wraps around you.

“I love you, Y/N Kang,” He whispers affectionately before placing a kiss on your forehead. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened in my life.”

“I love you too, Hee,” You reciprocate, your eyes roaming around his chiselled yet beautiful features and burning them into your memory. You grab his hand and tug at it, a silent permission of wanting him to follow you around to explore. “Can we─”

“Of course, we can.” Heeseung says with a warm smile before you proceed to drag him with you, your pace and demeanour displaying exuberance.

You begin your exploration in every part of the beautiful sanctuary with unbridled enthusiasm while Heeseung only watches and chuckles fondly at you, but he is attentive enough to prevent you from potentially falling or hurting yourself when you climb up the treehouse to explore and try out the slide or when he pushes you as you sit on the swing. You even carve out your initials on the tree trunk just below the treehouse with him, as well as the date, wanting it to be a permanent engraving for your future kids to see.

“Thank you for today.” You break the comfortable silence as you are now lying on the ground with him, facing the starry night with your head resting on his arm and attached to his side, seeking each other’s body warmth despite your still drenched clothes. You adjust your position, turning your body sideways to face him with your arm hugging him comfortably as if he’s your bolster. “I love everything that you have done, and…”

Your words become mushy as exhaustion begins to dawn on you, eliciting a chuckle from him, seeing the way your eyelids are struggling to stay open. “You can go to sleep, my love.” He murmurs, stroking your cheek gently as you drift off to your dreamland. It isn’t long until Heeseung is tempted as well, facing you with his eyes closed and his arms cocooning you, sleeping under the glinting stars.

But of course, just when you think that everything is all well and good, you receive texts from your best friends in Seoul to remind you of the monthly FaceTime tonight, and that is when realisation hits you that they haven’t been informed of your established relationship yet. You also doubt that Jennifer told them because if she did, the other two would have already bombarded your notifications.

Though you have no reason to fret over the outcome of revealing your relationship to Wonyoung and Karina since they were understanding and giving you advice a few months back when they were here, still, you can’t help with your overthinking mind of the worst possible outcome, worrying that they may not be as accepting as Jennifer.

“Hey, babes,” You greet your beautiful best friends right after they accept your call. You decide to settle in the living room, seated on the floor with your back rested against the large sectional sofa and your laptop on the coffee table while the guys are nowhere to be seen.

You try your best not to sound nervous, mustering a small smile at your best friends on your laptop screen. Jennifer must have noticed it first in the way she looks at you with knowing eyes while her pink lips twitch into a faint smirk.

Just when you intend to give her a glare, you are interrupted by Karina, her tone sounding astonished. “Girl, is that a whole new living room I see in your background? It looks massive.”

“Since when did you move into a new apartment?” Wonyoung asks with genuine curiosity, her eyes narrowing at you with the slightest suspicion that has you swallowing your spit hard.

“The thing is, I’m living with the guys now, and it’s permanent,” You go straight to the point without beating around the bush as you want to get this over with. You curl your fingers into fists to prevent them from trembling while your resolve is teetering in the way your pupils shake, feeling unnerved by their unreadable expressions except Jennifer’s. “Which also means that I’m in a relationship with them. Yes, the four of them all at once. We’ve been together for three months or so.”

There is a pregnant pause with a rather painful silence emanating from them, as though they need some time to process this revelation, and you wince visibly, only to be taken by surprise at the positive change in their countenance.

“Details, Y/N! You know we love details, especially the juicy ones!” Karina demands in a whine, her sharp eyes displaying genuine interest that has your frayed nerves allayed. “There is absolutely no way you’re getting away without telling us how it happened.”

You groan out half-playfully as you rub your face, because as much as you want to, it feels repetitive to let them know what you told Jennifer back then and the fact that you have to rack through your memory. “It’s a long story.”

“Summarise it for us, then.” Wonyoung is just as insistent as Karina, their eyes displaying impatience and expectation, and you know that you cannot refuse them, and so you begin to divulge to them, albeit keeping some details concealed.

“I mean, if you are happy with them, then we’re fine with it,” Wonyoung gives her conclusion as soon as you finish, and while you are more than glad that they’re accepting, you become easily distracted by four familiar yet handsome figures sauntering into the living room. “But tell your boyfriends that if they ever hurt you again, we’ll hunt them down and chop off their dicks.”

“Wony!” You exclaim, appalled and in disbelief by her warning that is uttered calmly while her face displays no remorse for the vulgarity that left her mouth, but more importantly, the guys heard her loud and clear, as evident in the look on their faces.

“Yeah, you heard that, guys?” Karina adds fuel to the fire as she quickly grasps the embarrassment on your face that your lovers are in the same room as you. “You’ll have us to deal with again if you dare to hurt our precious Y/N.”

“I can assure you that they wouldn’t do anything to hurt me,” You affirm assertively despite the warm temperature persisting in your cheeks as you ignore their amusing gaze on your face. “I’m sorry to cut our FaceTime short, but I’ll catch up with you girls in our next session. Love you.”

After bidding your goodbyes, you close your laptop, still refusing to meet their eyes. “Well, that certainly was something.” Jay speaks up, and you can’t resist looking at him just because of the attractive drawl in his voice. Your cheeks flush even more as he smirks at you, leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest.

“Sorry, they’re still protective over me,” You tell them sheepishly as you rise from the floor and gravitate towards them, unable to resist the magnetic pull before Sunghoon grasps the first opportunity to hold you in his possession. You look up at him with your arms around his body, your lips forming into a small pout. “But I swear they won’t chop off your dicks. I’ll make sure of that.”

“Of course, you’ll make sure of that, or else we’ll be experiencing another brat moment of you being deprived of our dicks.” Jake remarks with a chuckle, his lips adorning a devilish grin that has you groaning out in embarrassment before you bury your face into Sunghoon’s chest while the rest join in to tease you the same.

“Don’t worry, princess. We’re not in the slightest feeling threatened by them.” Sunghoon chuckles breathily, his hands cradling your face with the sulky pout that remains adorned on your lips to which he can’t resist giving you a smooch. “Besides, why would we feel threatened when we made a promise to always protect and cherish you?”

“I know, Hoonie,” You say softly, your eyes gazing tenderly at him and the others while your heart swells with irrevocable affection and trust. You sigh softly before beaming with a smile, deciding to dismiss the air of melancholy around you. “Anyway, shall we start preparing snacks for our game and movie night?”

With that, Sunghoon whisks you off to the kitchen with Jay trailing behind you while Heeseung and Jake proceed to convert the modular sofa into a reversible sleeper chaise bed that is rather massive to fit six people in for movie night later, and thus your first weekly Friday fun night begins ─ the fun part consists of you preparing snacks and baking last-minute sweet goods with Jay while Sunghoon every so often clings to you and distracts you with kisses, earning him a glare from his best friend.

And so, the remainder of your night is nothing short of bliss, having to spend more quality time with four of your boyfriends at once. You are not even fazed by the fact that you lost four times in a row against time, your laughter being accompanied by their playful banter and finding great joy in being in the presence of the ones who occupied your heart, and before you know it, time flies fast as movie night commences.

The movie that is still playing on the massive television has lost its essence in keeping you captivated as your eyes begin to wander elsewhere. Presently, the five of you are nestled in the sofa with a fleecy duvet shielding your bodies from the cold temperature and pillows supporting the back of your heads, which isn’t necessary for you, considering you are being cocooned in both Jake and Jay’s arms as you are right in the middle, not that you have any complaints.

“This is the happiest I’ve been in months,” You break the comfortable silence, feeling awfully sentimental as tears are wetting in your waterline while a soft smile touches your lips. You look at them, noticing their eyes attentively on you with equal fondness. “I’m glad that you all didn’t give up on me, even when you thought that finding me would be impossible.”

“Well, we have Sunghoon to thank for that,” Jake murmurs, his hand reaching up to cradle your face while Jay soothes you with an affectionate rub on your tummy.

“Why are you tearing up, my love?” Heeseung asks gently, drawing your attention to him. Just the tenderness in his eyes is enough to make you burst into a rivulet of tears, feeling overwhelmed by their unconditional love, but you hold back the dams.

“I’m just happy,” You manage to utter, your voice trembling with emotions while a tear escapes the corner of your eye. “Thank you for loving me.”

“No, baby, thank you for accepting us back,” Jay insists softly as he grabs your hand and places a kiss on your palm, a gesture of affection that always has your heart flutter.

“You do know that you’re not stuck with us forever, even if you decide to change your mind?” Jake chuckles breathily, pressing a kiss on your temple, but you are no fool to dismiss the darkness that belies his light-hearted tone.

“I would love nothing more,” You say with a smile, baring your heart and soul, which are theirs to cherish forever. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too, princess,” Sunghoon reciprocates, and with a few more words exchanged mindlessly, the animation on the bright screen is forgotten and neglected, and soon enough, the five of you have inevitably drifted off to the same dreamland.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

In the serene confines of your room, the gradual evening sunray filters through your window, painting delicate tapestry across the ceiling. Humming a familiar tune, you sift through your wardrobe, your eyes and hands meticulously searching for the dress you had prepared and ironed three days in advance.

A delicate smile touches your lips as soon as you find the dress before grabbing it with your fingers, careful enough not to crease the ironed fabric. After slipping on the dress, you exit your wardrobe, and the way you move with grace has got a certain someone hypnotised as he stands by the doorway before deciding to watch you in a silent admiration, leaning sideways against the frame with his hands tucked in his pockets.

But you are too preoccupied to notice his presence as you are seated in front of the vanity mirror to apply the appropriate make-up that is not too glamorous but enough to enhance your features. Completing the touch with a cherry red lip tint and your favourite perfume, you move over to the full-length mirror to marvel at the final transformation with a small satisfied smile on your lips.

The black dress holds a blend of elegance and allure as it accentuates your contours perfectly while the low-cut flaunts your cleavage with the familiar platinum ring necklace resting delicately below your clavicle. You decide to let loose your natural locks as they cascade down your shoulders. Just when you think you are ready, you forgot about a pair of earrings that Jay gifted you last night.

The whole process of beautifying yourself probably took an hour, but it is a necessity since tonight is a little special. Unfortunately, it is not a date night, but rather, Jay’s company is hosting a private event tonight, and the rest of your boyfriends, including you, are part of the exclusive guests ─ of course, having been personally invited by Jay himself.

Initially, you refused to go even after being relentlessly coaxed by your boyfriends, but you couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in Jay’s eyes any longer, and so you begrudgingly agreed. Your intention is to be a good girlfriend and moral support to your boyfriend. Plus there will be free food and drinks.

As you examine yourself for another time, your eyes trail to the figure decked out in a black blouse with the sleeves rolled up to his veiny arms that also display his tattoos, who has been standing and watching you by the doorway with dark, attentive eyes.

“Jay, you scared me.” You chuckle nervously as your heart continues to beat erratically, watching him in the mirror as he ambles towards you with his dark eyes looking as though they are about to devour you whole. “How long have you been watching me?”

“For a while now,” Jay admits nonchalantly, his dark eyes scanning you from head to toe appreciatively with a tinge of fondness, but there is an unmistakable lust swirling in them, affecting you right in the core. “You got me fully mesmerised, baby.”

Your breath hitches in your throat as soon as Jay stops directly behind you, leaving no space in between your bodies as his warmth melds with yours. You watch him silently in the mirror, his hands abandoning your hips to wrap around your waist, which feels like a sensual hug in the way his body is feeling you up and his dark eyes flicker to meet yours in the mirror.

“You’re in the mood,” You point out rather breathlessly, feeling dizzy at the intoxicating fuse of his strong cologne and his body heat. With his lips pressing down on your shoulder, you can’t help but melt against him as you tilt your neck to allow more easy access for him to assault you with sensual kisses.

“Babygirl, I’m always in the mood whenever I’m around you. How can I not be when you look truly exquisite?” He says lowly, his husky voice igniting the heat pooling in your core dangerously and his warm breath hitting your skin. He presses one last kiss on the sensitive spot on your neck, eliciting a mewl from you before he returns his dark gaze to the mirror with a suggestive smirk playing on his lips. “You have no idea how badly I need to ruin you now.”

“Jay, we can’t─” You gasp softly at the sensation of his prominent bulge pressing into your bums that intensifies the heat pooling in your core. Your pulse drums in your ears while your eyes follow his tattooed hand sliding down your tummy, heading straight for your throbbing heat. “You can have me after the event or tomorrow. Just not now, please?” “I don’t think I can wait that much longer, angel baby.” Jay smirks, seeing the emotions in your hooded eyes contradict your words and your staggering breaths as his hand gets closer to the intended journey, but too caught up in the nearly blissful erotica that wraps around you like an intoxicating haze, you fail to realise another figure entering your room.

“So this is what the two of you have been doing,” Sunghoon accuses with a disbelieving scoff, and yet amusement is evident in his tone, prompting you to switch your position to view both of your dashing lovers better. “Might want to reconsider fucking around. Our chauffeur is arriving anytime soon now, so we better get going─”

The moment Sunghoon lays his eyes on you, he stops dead in his tracks while he feels his throat going dry at the gorgeous sight of you. He quickly recovers himself, clearing his throat. “Damn, princess, you look─” His heart races at a ridiculous speed upon seeing the shyness written all over your beautiful face, and he can’t seem to find a fitting word to describe your divine beauty, utterly speechless.

Despite your shyness, you flutter your curled eyelashes at him in a sly manner. Sunghoon recognises before meeting his eyes that seem to darken with a familiar desire. The corners of your lips curve into a small yet mischievous smile as you fiddle at the fabric of Jay’s collar mindlessly. “I believe that the word you are looking for is beautiful?” You say so slyly, and fuck, Sunghoon feels undeniably turned on by you.

Sunghoon takes two steps forward before extending his hand out to you. “Come here, princess.” He orders, and there is a discernible crack in his voice mid-sentence before he covers up with a cough, but not quick enough as he sees the way you break into a fit of chuckles while Jay watches the entire thing with a smirk.

Sunghoon lets out a frustrating sound between a growl and a gruff, displaying his impatience and annoyance in the way Jay is still teasing him with a smirk on his lips, whereas you seem to join the latter as you take your sweet time in moving towards him and accepting his extended hand.

Sunghoon catches you off guard when he takes a big step forward and wastes no time in grabbing your hand firmly before pulling you into him eagerly while you let out a startled squeal. He dives straight into your neck, unable to stave off the temptation, and places a lingering kiss on your skin. His desire becomes tenfold as your sweet yet exquisite perfume hits his nostril.

You gasp softly as he nips at your skin, and you arch your neck submissively to him on instinct, fluttering your eyes closed at the pleasurable sensation of him kissing and licking your neck. Your clit throbs once again when he presses his body against yours with his arms caging you, making you feel his prominent bulge.

“Maybe we should ditch the private event. I’d rather spend all night buried into you,” Sunghoon nearly growls out his words, his voice gravelly deep, and it feels like he has no intention of letting you go anytime soon.

But thankfully, you still have some rationality left in you. “Sunghoon!” You gasp at his words before attempting to push him away but fail miserably when you melt against his warmth. You sigh softly, leaning your head on his shoulder. “You know we can’t. It’s important for us to be there for Jay.”

Jay shoots his best friend a smug look while the latter rolls his eyes in return. Sunghoon reluctantly pulls away from you, but not before giving you a peck on the lips. He smirks down at you. “If you say so, princess. But the offer still stands even after the event, yeah?”

Before you can retort, another pair of footsteps can be heard outside of your opened door, prompting the three of you to look at the incomer. “Hey, guys. We really need to get going. Our chauffeur has just arrived, and Heeseung is waiting downstairs─”

Jake pauses abruptly at the same time he barges into your room, and unlike Sunghoon, he continues to walk slowly towards you with his widened eyes fixated on you despite the fact that he is speechless, utterly in awe of your stunning beauty. “Holy fuck, sweetheart?” He says so breathlessly.

“Jaeyun,” You utter his name softly, your lips curving into a smile while your eyes soften at the way his features soften with a familiar sentiment as he examines you with clear appreciation. You feel Sunghoon’s arms loosen around you, as though he is permitting you to go to Jake, and so you naturally gravitate to him.

“My beautiful girl, you never cease to amaze me.” Jake breathes out in awe as soon as you stand in front of him, but he seems to be examining you for another time, as if the woman in his view is indeed a goddess. His Goddess, damn right. The warmth of his palms feels comforting as he cups your cheeks. A chuckle escapes you when his face twists into a playful scowl, but the possessiveness glinting in his eyes is not lost on you. “I’d hate for the others to look at you when you’re dolled up gorgeously like this.”

Jake captures your lips in a kiss, a short-lived one, and yet you can feel his burning desire even after he pulls away, but his lips remain grazing against yours, sending shivers down your spine. “Maybe I should hunt down and kill whoever dared to glance in your way after the private event.” He says softly, and you have no idea whether or not his words were meant to be playful.

“You look handsome, Jaeyun.” You compliment him earnestly as you marvel at his striking handsomeness, decked out in a suit similar to Jay and Sunghoon’s while his hair is gelled to the back with only a few strands falling over his chiselled forehead. The butterflies in your tummy are practically fluttering intensely as you look at your three lovers to appreciate their handsomeness for another time. “You all do.”

Before Jake can go in for another kiss, Jay’s stern voice cuts through the air. “Alright, let’s get going before we have another love fest here.”

“Fuck fest, you mean?” Sunghoon chuckles as the four of you proceed to depart from your room while you walk hand in hand with Jake, his warmth encasing you.

“You’re not entirely wrong, mate,” Jake shoots Sunghoon a mischievous grin, whereas Jay shakes his head, but a small smirk plays at the corner of his lips. Jake looks at you, and this time, you can feel his heated gaze that is burning with insatiable hunger for you as he licks his lips. “Our wife looks delicious enough to be devoured right here and now.”

“I’m not your wife yet, Jaeyun.” You remind him for the umpteenth time with a short huff, and yet it affects you just the same as you feel your cheeks warming rapidly the same way your heart races.

Initially, when they started to refer to you as their wife, every wire in your system went short-circuited, and you had no idea how to react. Sure, the five of you have been heavily involved in a serious discussion about tying the knots with you legally and officially in the near future, and the guys were determined to make it happen, but to you it was too soon for them to be referring to you as their wife and throw the term around so carelessly.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re going to be our wife.” Jay adds nonchalantly, draping his arm around your shoulder while you remain hand-locked with Jake. Despite shooting the three men the same glare, you can’t ignore the tension that has been building up ever since they came into your room.

You release a shaky breath as you decide to focus on the view in front of you, but it turns out to be a mistake, because one moment you’re descending the stairs, and then the next, you lock eyes with the only lover who hasn’t seen you until now.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat as you shamelessly examine him from head to toe. The all-black ensemble fits his toned physique perfectly, and his black hair is neatly parted so his forehead can be seen. Your heart swells with love as you see the familiar ring necklace that rests below his clavicle. When your eyes return to meet him, you swear you can feel your womanhood clenching with arousal as you notice the way his eyes darken with palpable desire despite the nonchalance in his demeanour.

His dark eyes continue to greedily drinking you in even as you finally stand in front of him. A soft smirk ghosts on his lips momentarily before he gives you a small smile and extends his hand out to you in a gentlemanly manner. “Shall we, my beloved?” Heeseung asks gently, even waiting patiently as you slowly unclasp your hand from Jake’s to take Heeseung’s, only for him to press a kiss on your knuckles while he maintains eye contact with you. “You look breathtaking, pretty girl.”

“Thank you,” You mumble, feeling utterly diffident as you are now being surrounded by four deadly yet dashing men, even though you have always been surrounded by them 24/7. You hope that your palm is not sweating just yet from all the nervousness as you busily cast Heeseung a small smile. “You look handsome, Hee.”

Heeseung reciprocates with a dashing grin before he begins to assist you on the way to the chauffeur, with the three musketeers following closely behind you rather protectively, as though posing as your bodyguard. Your eyes sparkle with fascination upon seeing the view of the sleek black stretch limousine parked directly outside of the entrance door, waiting for you.

As though the routine is rehearsed, Sunghoon takes the initiative to open the door for you before Heeseung assists you inside, to which you bend down your height slightly as you proceed to walk in. Your lips part open, and your eyes widen at the luxury of the entirety of the interior of the limousine, nearly bumping your head if it weren't for Heeseung’s hand cradling the back of your head before you continue to move further in until you finally settle on the leather seat.

For some reason, you resort to silence as you watch your lovers settling in, hyper aware of the previous tension that has resumed its course in the enclosed space. Your heart hammers harder as soon as Sunghoon sits next to your right while Heeseung is on your left. Not too long after, the limousine begins to accelerate, and the guys proceed to converse on a topic you don’t understand.

But the tension remains, thickening every second that has you finding yourself suffocated. It doesn’t even help that the intoxicating mixture of their strong cologne has your head spinning while you attempt to repress your burning desire in the way you squeeze your thighs together. You bite down on your lip harder, feeling your cunt throbbing with incessant need. Thankfully, you brought your emergency make-up kit so you can reapply your lipstick on your lips again.

However, throughout the ride, you fail to notice that Heeseung has been observing you from time to time, noticing the familiar pattern in your body language, bringing a discreet smirk to his lips.

“Pretty girl, what’s wrong?” Your heart skips a beat when Heeseung places his hand on your exposed thigh, and despite the gentleness in his tone, you can discern a familiar deception that has you anticipating both with excitement and fear.

It isn’t exactly that you fear them, but with the thick tension hanging in the air and waiting to snap, the enclosed space of the limousine, the intoxication of their cologne, as well as the predatory gazes at your figure, you fear that the immaculate state of the limousine might turn into a sullied mess.

“Nothing,” You answer him, your voice sounding quiet, and yet it sounds loud to their ears, prompting the four men to exchange looks.

“Don’t lie to me, love,” Heeseung squeezes the flesh of your thigh, a warning you recognise, and yet you feel an unwise temptation to display your defiance to him, just a little, because the desire that is throbbing in every part of you desperately implores you to be released. “Tell me, what do you want?” His soft voice carries an undertone of dark sensuality, and you know that his question is an invitation.

“Speak up, princess,” Sunghoon joins in, adding fuel to the fire as he presses his body against yours, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. He grabs you by the chin firmly enough to force you to look at Heeseung in the eyes, and in doing so, allows you to catch the familiar hunger on Jay and Jake’s features as they also wear the same smirk on their lips. “Tell Heeseung exactly what you want. You know what you want, princess.”

It’s so mean, the way they all seem to be tag-teaming you, and how mean Sunghoon sounds, how Heeseung’s dark eyes are penetrating into you as though he is able to read your twisted mind, but if anything, everything seems to turn you on further, throwing you into the abysmal to the point of no return. Subconsciously, you bite down on your lower lip while your eyes become glossy with terrible need, drawing Heeseung’s attention to your bitten lip.

“I need you so bad.” You shamelessly admit with shaky breaths, feeling utterly humiliated by the knowing smirks they collectively wear on their lips, but you don’t give a fuck anymore. You allow your eyes to roam around his body and bite down your lips once more on purpose, knowing that Heeseung hates it when he isn’t the one doing it. “It doesn’t even help that you look hot in a suit.” You purr with an irresistible seduction that they can never resist.

“You heard her. Give what the wife wants, Heeseung,” Jay says loudly, leaning against the leather seat comfortably with his legs spread open while his clasped hands support the back of his head, as if the view in front of him is a show. “Driver, close the partition.”

On cue, the driver heeds Jay’s command, and in doing so, aids the now heated atmosphere with the partition finally closed. The next thing you know, you are being manhandled and immediately find yourself perched on top of Heeseung, causing your dress to hike up way past your thighs.

-from this point onwards would be the smut part but didn’t get to continue </3

unwritten scene 1 (the smut part in the limousine)

unwritten scene 2:

unwritten scene 3(the ending):

#ruby’s incomplete drafts #dkp #dkp finale #og dkp

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plor-bindery · 2 months ago

Text

Bound: The Bucket List, by GallaPlacidia

This is actually a gift, but I'm taking a risk that my pal Lately isn't on Tumblr enough to know about this thing, lol. (Lately, if you see this: surprise? Merry Christmas?)

This is, of course, a bind of GallaPlacidia's fic The Bucket List. Galla's fic is no longer on AO3 but is available if you make a very small effort to locate it, which you should if you haven't already done so.

First off: huge thanks to @sits-bound who spotted me their typeset of the fic when mine was not behaving at all. I owe them thanks for this, for their choice for Draco's handwriting (which became quite a Theme for me as I went), and their help in figuring out toner-activated foil, which I used on the endpapers.

Secondly: the UK folks among you will, I hope, recognize this binding as an homage to the Oxford Black n' Red notebook. I wanted to create this binding to look as though it might be Draco's actual bucket list notebook, so I went with this theme in the colour choices and cover design, down to the name tag label (made from HTV) that I imagine Galla's Draco slapping on haphazardly as he frantically began his list.

I made Draco's version of the notebook just slightly different, of course -- with Galla's name in place of the text "black n' red", the name tag, and the little Aelfgifu crest in place of the Oxford one on the original.

(Aside: Aelfgifu is a bit of an inside joke with me and Lately, as we have spent a lot of time imagining a magical college within Cambridge called Aelfgifu College, as well as Draco and Harry's different academic journeys, their collegiate romance, etc., without ever writing more than a few hundred words of same, whoops. But! The college has a crest now! Maybe it'll get a story to go with it!)

This is a favorite, tip-top fic for Lately, and it's up there for me too. I don't think I need to dwell on Galla's brilliance as it's well-known in the fandom. But it was a treat to create my own typeset and bind for this fic. (I kept my first attempt as a personal copy, warts and all.)

More process under the cut.

Materials: Nothing extraordinary here except (as noted) the foiled endpapers. I used 1 mm board to create proper Bradel boards with a notch for the spine piece.

Process: A three-piece Bradel! My first!

I could have done a quarter bind (as the actual commercial notebook uses) but I wanted to learn a true Bradel three-piece bind for a non-fandom bind and this was my chance to try it out. Verdict: kinda neat, and handy when foiling directly to bookcloth (which I did not do here, but did for the non-fannish bind.) Endbands are machine-made and boring. (The actual commercial notebook has no endbands but I couldn't go that far.)

The typeset was fun. Galla's writing is very dialogue-driven, which means a lot of paragraph breaks, which leads to some interesting page break challenges, but in the end it came out nicely. I enjoyed setting Draco's letters, the Prophet article, and the Witch Weekly gossip column. And I had too much fun dropping random shit into the half-title page.

Re the endpapers: yes, I did comb through the fic and pull out all the numbered bucket list items, then all the non-numbered ones referred to in passing, which I then numbered and slotted into the list for the endpapers. I regret nothing. (Not pictured: for the back endpaper, the list is identical except I went through and struck out all the items Draco knocked off his list in the course of the story.)

I still don't own a colour printer! But I do own a little tiny photo printer (Canon Selphy) which is what I used to print the Aelfgifu crest, which I then just cut out and glued on. I like the shiny quality, even if it probably should be more like printed HTV in texture.

I'm quite delighted with the cover design. This one was so fun!

#bookbinding #fanbinding #case binding #three-piece bradel binding #gallaplacidia #the bucket list #drarry fanbinding #drarry #hp fanbinding

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skykind · 5 months ago

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A Clone Wars Episode Deep Dive

I didn't discover The Clone Wars fandom until 2021 and only started watching the show in mid-2023 (finished a few months ago), and I want to discuss and analyze all sorts of odds and ends—years after most people watched. This includes cool stuff in episodes I think some fans understandably skip when doing re-watches and therefore no longer remember well, but I’m digging into one of them anyway. So, have a long post about S2:E11, "Lightsaber Lost," and then come talk to me about it if you’d like!

This episode is saying three things at once, and the closer you get to the symbolic message meant for mostly adult audiences, the wilder things get.

The literal plot: Ahsoka’s lightsaber is stolen, and she recovers it with the help of a Jedi elder who teaches her life lessons along the way.

The morality tale for young viewers: gun control (a bold choice).

An eerie interlude for older viewers: A pair of brief scenes—only 45 seconds or so in length combined—communicate the future purge of the Jedi order via symbolic visual storytelling and a speech that’s being broadcast in the background. No dialogue required.

I'm going to focus on this third bullet point, but I also recommend a re-watch for the gun control angle. (Hint: if you think the writers are only arguing for handling guns responsibly, you haven’t taken the Jedi’s current context into account; also, the writers aren't referring to literal in-universe guns—Ahsoka’s lightsaber is the gun.)

Back to the episode’s message for older viewers: Split over two scenes, the audience watches Ahsoka chase a bounty hunter in possession of her lightsaber, then the bounty hunter partially damage and destabilize an enormous levitating billboard so she can get away from Ahsoka, and finally Ahsoka tumble down and precariously cling to the billboard’s screen. The billboard shows Palpatine delivering a—likely prerecorded—speech that is meant to sound supportive of the Jedi, but is instead priming Coruscant residents to believe anti-Jedi rhetoric; just before this two-scene sequence ends, Palpatine also begins to explain why he needs more executive power in order to support the Jedi.

It's great to pinpoint an example of Palatine's propaganda, but what does the visual storytelling communicate, with this speech for a backdrop?

Note: the text of Palpatine’s speech, shown in captions in the following screenshots, is not in alt text as that would chop the speech up between image descriptions, and is instead in a single paragraph after the final screenshot.

Palpatine's Speech

"I have no doubt that the Jedi are doing their very best to ensure the safety of every citizen in the Republic. The accusations that the Jedi created the Clone War to give themselves more power over the government is absurd and I will not stand for it."

Ahsoka as Symbolically at Palpatine's Mercy

After a scene break, Palatine's speech picks up mid-sentence and we see just how small and vulnerable Ahsoka is compared to Palpatine's soaring and vast projection. She appears entirely at his mercy, and somewhat at the mercy of Coruscant as well.

Palpatine's Speech, Resumed

"…Count Dooku and his droid army. To support the Jedi's efforts in the war, I ask the Senate to pass these new laws, giving more jurisdiction…"

The Genocide to Come

As this speech is broadcast to Coruscant, the seemingly trustworthy and dependable Chancellor of the Republic symbolically collapses beneath Ahsoka and leaves her stranded over a chasm. All while Palpatine spreads propaganda that will eventually convince the public to support her people's genocide.

Perhaps the best way to describe this is:

An unarmed Ahsoka struggles to hang onto the edge of a high precipice, that precipice is a symbol for Palpatine—and in a few years, Palpatine will shove the entire Jedi order off the edge of a much higher cliff.

Given how the sheer visual scale of Palpatine in this second scene represents the power he can wield over the Jedi—as the staging emphasizes Ahsoka's relative smallness and her physical vulnerability—it's clear the Jedi will not be able to rescue themselves when this future betrayal comes; Palpatine has amassed too much power and put too many plans in place. And no one who's bought into Palpatine's propaganda will try to catch the Jedi when they go over the edge.

Ahsoka’s Survival

Ahsoka’s individual survival of Order 66 is signaled here by her ability to get off the levitating billboard, but nothing about the staging suggests this comes down to unique skill—any number of well-trained Jedi could have gotten out of her predicament when the right opportunity (a single speeder that veers out of its lane and passes unusually close to the screen) presented itself.

In both ��Lightsaber Lost” and "Victory and Death" (S7:E12, see below), her survival involves flinging herself through open air (and into an out-of-place flying vehicle), a nice nod to Ahsoka’s association with flight and Morai, though I feel like that’s a coincidence (?) as of season 2. Or maybe not. I have no idea if Ahsoka’s symbolic associations—flight in the case of “Lightsaber Lost,” rather than Morai specifically—were planned out in advance.

What About the Propaganda?

Returning to season 2, we come to the final big-picture takeaway of the "Lightsaber Lost" scenes: I’ve referred to Palpatine’s speech as something that plays in the background because Ahsoka doesn’t pay attention to his propaganda, even though it’s literally in her face. What does this mean if we treat Ahsoka as a stand-in for the Jedi, and Palpatine’s speech as a stand-in for his growing threat to the Jedi? In these scenes, Ahsoka first doesn’t pay attention because she’s trying to stay alive in precarious circumstances, just as Jedi across the galaxy are kept distracted from the big picture by trying to keep themselves, their Padawans, their troops, and civilians alive as war swallows up the galaxy. Then, Ahsoka is distracted by tracking the bounty hunter who has her lightsaber; in the context of this episode (which asks, ‘who should be allowed to use a lightsaber, and when?’), Ahsoka’s lightsaber also comes to represent Jedi’s efforts to fight the Clone Wars as ethically as possible. It presumably takes more time and effort to fight a war when you’re concerned with morals, at least when the opposition is perfectly happy to commit war crimes. By tossing the Jedi into a war, Palpatine keeps them too busy to systemically search for the Master Sith (in addition to Sith stuff diminishing the Jedi’s ability to use the force), as their time is eaten up by upholding the equivalent of the Geneva and Hague Conventions (etc.) when almost no one else is, by protecting as many other lives as possible, and by staying alive.

And The Clone Wars communicates all of this in a minute! Though I’ll admit my final point about Ahsoka’s lightsaber representing ethical combat is a stretch. I love it when TV shows and movies make full use of visual storytelling, and The Clone Wars is fabulous at it.

Whew—and that’s that! I’m grateful if even a single person has read this far and would love to know what you think, but regardless, I had fun analyzing this episode and organizing my thoughts about it. Cheers to the Clone Wars fandom.

#ahsoka tano #ahsoka #the clone wars #star wars #jedi #order 66 #sheev palpatine #star wars meta #beloved jedi #skykind meta

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hannie-dul-set · 1 year ago

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six quick and easy hacks to 🆙 the quality of your fanfiction!

as promised, here it is! i’m not here to tell you how to plot out your story, or how to write your characters’ personalities. the tips i’m sharing are more on formatting and structure, secret (not really) cheat codes to instantaneously make your already written work even better!

my qualifications? being a tumblr hag for over five years (my even more embarrassing pre k-pop writeblr included!) so i’ve unlocked quite a bit of secrets and discovered some eurekas throughout my time here HAHAHAH. anyway, let’s start!

#1 VARIETY IN PARAGRAPH LENGTHS, SENTENCE LENGTHS, AND SENTENCE STARTERS.

nothing turns me off more than seeing paragraph blocks after paragraph blocks when looking for some new fics to read, especially when you’re reading from a cramped up device such as your phone.

when i write a lengthy paragraph, i try to follow it up with a one-liner, or a mid-sized one. but it’s something i consciously keep track of— when i noticed that, “oh, this gdoc is getting a little too wordy, a little too chunky,” i make sure that my next paragraph is significantly shorter than the current one because it keeps the entire page interesting. one to two sentences of lines of paragraphs after another and another doesn’t look pretty. chunks of paragraphs after paragraphs is boring.

make your pages visually dynamic by ensuring variety.

like this, for example.

→ fic: home for the bitchless.

seeing a large chunk of text and a singular line immediately after also sort of forces your reader to stick around and read an otherwise intimidating lengthy paragraph because— oh! what could have possibly led to that singular like of dialogue or thought! #subtlemanipulation you get me? 😔🤙

this rule of mine applies to sentences and phrases within the paragraph as well!

→ fic: love vomit.

and as a bonus, you can use paragraph breaks and cuts to your advantage! manipulating the way a sentence or paragraph ends in a certain way makes your works more rhythmic! and, when you play it around the right way, abrupt cuts and breaks also add the right mood and drama to your work!

→ drabble: the boy who cried wolf.

part three of tip number one (one…we’re still at number one…) is on sentence and paragraph starters. i keep it as a rule of thumb that if i start a paragraph with “you,” or with someones name, i don’t use it again in the next one to avoid monotony. it’s a very miniscule thing really, and i doubt that people notice this HAHAHA but this is something i religiously swear by because repetitions like this are visually boring.

→ wip: sunwater.

of course, this can’t be avoided all the time, and repeating the sentence starter “You” or any other pronoun, word, or phrase can be intentionally utilized to strongly drive a point. just don’t overdo it!

→ drabble: patience, patience.

→ blurb: monsters don’t hide under the bed.

→ fic: the psychology of strawberries.

there are other good and strategic uses for repetitions as well! we’ll get to that later.

lastly, variety in sentence and paragraph starters doesn’t simply mean changing up the first word. things can still get really boring even if you use “you” or a character’s name interchangeably if your sentence structure remains the same.

this, for example, is monotonous.

the structure (and length) of all three sentences are the same. A does this. B does this. A does this. and even if you switch things up but still use the same sentence structure, it still falls flat. case in point, below, a structure i often see in a lot of fics i stumble across.

those are flat. those are boring. they don’t…you know…make you feel something, even when you follow the rule of not using the same starter twice. let me try improving it by adding more variety in the sentences (+ adding a tip that i’ll be discussing right after!)

the word “He” here is used twice to create a rhythm and draw emphasis, but the rest of the excerpt maintains a sense of variety to make the narrative more interesting and compelling to read.

#2 PICK A POV AND STICK WITH IT.

before i start a scene, a drabble, or blurb, the first question i ask myself is, “whose point of view do i want it to be in?”

one, it’s a lot neater, more organized, than omniscient point of views in my opinion (unless you’re like a super fucking skilled writer of course HAHAHHA). two, it allows for a bit of mystery, suspense, and engagement because you don’t have access to what other people are thinking about, and three— in line with the first tip— when you know whose brain you’re in when writing, it allows for more dynamic narrations, gives you an excuse to be messy because our internal thoughts are messy as well, and makes the writing a hell of a lot easier when you’re focused on monologuing one person alone!

when writing shorter fics, drabbles, or blurbs, i swear by this rule, no excuses HAHAHAH but when writing longer fics, sometimes i switch around the point of views per scene, just to make a more well rounded story.

sometimes, the point of view doesn’t even have to be any of the main character’s! writing from an external POV is also really fun and adds another layer of interest. see example below, a Jeonghan breakup fic written exclusively from the perspective of the outsiders. very fun idea!

breakup scene written in Seungcheol’s POV.

another squabble written in Seungkwan’s POV.

→ wip: the breakup soup.

#3 REPETITIONS AND THEMES = COHESIVENESS.

this section contains tricks on how to wrap up your fics into one cohesive little present with a pretty ribbon on top!

first is the use of repetition. use a cool funky line at the beginning of your story, and reuse/rehash/revise it at the end for a neat finish, especially when you have trouble figuring out a way to end your story (lifesaving hack! trust me!)

i use this mostly in my shorter works—

→ drabble: you’re my bucket list.

→ blurb: louder.

—but it works just as well with longer fics, especially when the repetition is all throughout, and not just at the start and finish.

→ fic: mogi.

sometimes, it doesn’t even have to be a repeated phrase or line! it can be a little gimmick and it’d still work to make your fic cohesive! for example, in the fic below, i use the giving of strawberry candy/strawberry kisses to tie all the different scenes together because this was initially a set of separate drabble ideas wrapped into one long fic.

→ fic: the psychology of strawberries.

and for this one (another ricky fic….yes…..) i use the whole cat metaphor to do the same.

→ drabble: yours to keep.

the next tip to make your work cohesive is to grab a singular theme, object, whatever, and take advantage of it for your narration HAHAHAHHA this can be better explained by looking at the examples below.

theme: citrus.

→ drabble: citrus in the morning.

theme: storm.

→ blurb: blizzard.

the above examples are my shorter works, but it can work for longer fics as well! just check out this 36k word monster HAHAHAHHA.

theme: seasons.

→ fic: love vomit.

these are very simple ways to make your fic more put together! even if it’s just a simply blurb about a confession, adding a theme to aid the imagery bumps your fic quality to a +++++

#4 THROW AWAY THE Y/N’S!

now this one is quite honestly just a personal nitpick HAHAHHAHA but seeing the word Y/N when i’m reading something really pulls me out of my immersion. (and i only stopped using Y/N’s in my fics at the start of my 2023 comeback….so if you see my older works still using it…hahahha please don’t prosecute me).

anyway, you can do this either by embedding it in the narration—

→ fic: star studded baggage.

—or by using nicknames and titles instead!

→ wip: the breakup soup.

→ fic: can’t handle this.

#5 GET INTO THE (UN)NECESSARY SPECIFICS.

instead of just saying “Your professor called you,” grab a random last name and say “Prof Yoon asked to see you in his office.” instead of saying you went to the cafe, the mall, the store, grab an actual place or make one up because no one in the world says “they’re going to the cafe to grab a frappe,” (unless the store’s name is actually The Cafe). people say they’re going to Dunkin Donuts or Coffeebreak or wherever.

sure it’s not plot relevant, sure it’s not integral, but little things like this make your narrative and dialogue a lot more realistic and less awkward. it makes it seem like your characters are actually living inside a world of their own.

#6 GRAMMAR AND FORMATTING.

these are given HAHA but when i talk about grammar, i mean making sure that the commas and periods are consistently inside the quotation marks when writing dialogue. i mean minimizing the use of italics because overusing it can ruin the reading experience of a good piece (i was guilty of this too!) and i mean making sure that the use of tenses are consistent all throughout (unless if it’s a creative and plot choice), because all these things really matter if you want your fic, drabble, or blurb to be of overall high quality.

and that’s basically it! hope these tips help somehow...hope i’m not revealing my secrets for naught and someone can actually put them to good use HHAHAHHA what’s most important obviously is that you’re having fun with what you’re writing…etc. etc. insert inspirational you can do it speech here.

anyway, happy new year! and happy reading and writing<33

#writing hacks ft. my self promos HAHAHAHHAHA #tomorrow x together x reader #enhypen x reader #nct x reader #seventeeen x reader #zerobaseone x reader #riize x reader

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msbigredmachine · 1 year ago

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Sugar & The Chief - A Roman Reigns One-Shot

Reader is a best-selling erotic author reflecting on the success of her newest novel, which is based on her secret affair with the man who became her muse.

PAIRING: Roman Reigns x OC

Warning: A LOT of smut

Word count: 5.7k

A/N: I started this goddamn fic in late 2021! 😭 I'm so glad it's finally out. This one is a little different and I hope you enjoy!

--------------------------

It took you approximately three years to finish it. At first, you didn't want to, because through the smoke of mirrors of the raunchy literature was hands down the most personal piece you’ve ever done. But your team insisted that you go through with it. Your publicist Sheree told you it was one of the best works she’s ever read. On top of that, the dividends from your last book were starting to dry up, so you didn’t have that much of a choice.

You finally relented, and soon after it was published, the novel exploded. Your rabid readers had been waiting impatiently for your next offering and they gobbled it up. Your face and the novel were all over social media, TV, magazines and even on the huge Times Square billboard just down the road from your multi-million dollar penthouse in the Upper East Side. It wasn’t long before you were doing interviews and signing autographs in bookstores, malls and libraries all around the country. You were scheduled to be in London, Paris and Madrid next month promoting the book. It was a comeback for the ages.

And you had him to thank for that.

Sugar & the Chief was an erotic tale about an intense love affair that ended in disaster. Critics viewed it as Fifty Shades of Grey with better writing and much better sex and found the protagonist, Erica, relatable and three-dimensional. Erica was an ambitious albeit mentally unstable escort in an illicit relationship with Roman, a married Hollywood superstar she codenamed ‘the Chief’. This wasn’t your bland Mills & Boon romance tale...This was so smutty and so nasty you couldn’t read the first few paragraphs without wanting to masturbate thanks to Roman and Erica’s graphic sexual antics. It was so detailed that some theorists believed the Chief was based on a real person. When asked about who ‘Roman’ was, you played him off as a completely fictional character. No one needed to know the true identity of your muse. But you were one hundred percent sure that if he read this book, he would know it was about him. After all, you had incorporated some real-life dialogue between you in the novel. Without a doubt, he would know. You wondered, not for the first time, what his thoughts were if he had indeed read it.

Your fans did not hesitate to relay their own thoughts. Tonight, you were busy reading quite a number of them. Sheree had collated readers’ reviews, emails and feedback and sent them to you for your entertainment. Each one had you smiling from ear to ear. Women from all walks of life gushed about Erica and Roman. Housewives, attorneys, college students, septuagenarians, book club members; all of them had something to say and you felt all warm and fuzzy inside to know you still had it, that the magic hadn’t left your pen yet. Of course, they all wanted to know who the Chief was. They were so impressed with how he fucked you, dominated you and yet doted on you…They all wanted a man like him.

They all love you so much, Leati…just like I loved you…love you…

Closing your MacBook, you stood up from your desk with a smile. You stared out the ceiling-to-floor window and kept sipping from your Olivia Pope-sized glass of red wine, sinking deeper into your thoughts.

Truth be told, you should have known better than to fall in love with Joe Anoa’i. Your first meeting all those years ago on a week-long vacation should have ended on the island between the soft rumpled sheets of his bed. What happened in Hawaii should have stayed in Hawaii. But then, you couldn’t stop gravitating to him and he couldn’t stop gravitating to you. You went running whenever he called and he came running whenever you called. It was wild, passionate, addicting, exciting…too good to last, really. And it wasn’t long before the fantasy came crumbling down.

So many factors came into play. The demands of his job as the face of WWE. The meteoric level of his fame. And then, his discovery of your coke habit, your discovery of his wife Nicole and his three children, your increasing jealousy, his decreasing interest in you. After five tempestuous years, your relationship came to a bitter end, and the difficult healing process put an end to the writer’s block you’d been suffering from for a while.

You missed him deeply, and wished the dull ache in your heart would go away. As morally questionable as it had all been, what you experienced with him needed to happen to every woman at least once in her lifetime - indulging in forbidden fruit and all the delicious things that came with it; the danger, the thrill of secrecy, the earth-shattering sex, the emotions of love, lust, possession, and of course, the inevitable pain and heartbreak…

You captured all of that in Sugar.

------------------

Chapter 22

Erica pushed the button, shuddering out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. The elevator doors clunked closed and the cables began to whir. She ascended, floor by floor. Light goosebumps littered over her arms as she was filled with a morbid mix of dread and anticipation.

Their big fight from three weeks ago kept playing over and over in her head like some kind of evil loop. He didn't want to leave Gaelle for her and she'd taken her frustrations out on him. However, after what she'd just discovered, he was going to have to change his mind. Because of him, she had broken the ultimate rule in this treacherous line of work. This little game between them has been turned on its head, and tonight was the last time she would play by his rules.

The door opened before she knocked, and she felt her pussy purr involuntarily as they locked eyes. That big, sexy ass body of his leaned against the doorframe, his huge arms crossed over his equally huge chest. His dampened long hair flowed past his shoulders, and he smelled fresh, like he'd just had a shower. It didn't matter how long they'd been apart for; he always took her breath away every time she saw him.

"Well? You gon' stand there or you comin' in?" he sassed, that smooth country-boy drawl of his making her body temperature rise. Shaking it off, she walked through the door, right past him and into the open layout of his new, lavish penthouse, the night lights illuminating her brown skin through the floor-to-ceiling glass windows.

"Nice place," she commented, looking around with mild interest. He had found another hideaway where he could fuck around behind his wife's back. It didn't matter, because Gaelle was never going to leave him no matter what he did and he knew it. She could feel him trailing behind her, his bare feet moving catlike and silent on the cool hardwood floor. He had a prescence like no other, that was why he was the biggest movie star in the world today. And you so happened to be the mistress of the biggest movie star in the world today.

"Champagne?" he offered.

"No, I'm fine," she answered, her crossed arms pushing up her already generous cleavage. Roman's gaze longingly raked over the A-line trench coat concealing her curves, traveling down to the sinful looking high heels adorning her feet. Her hair fell in luscious, tempting waves down her shoulders. A deliberate move, surely, as she knew he loved her hairstyles down. His dick hardened as he imagined bending her over, pulling her tresses and spanking that fat, juicy ass of hers as he pounded--

"I'm not stayin' long, so talk." Her statement yanked him out of his lurid daydream.

"You got all dressed up for me, beautiful," he asked, scanning her up and down again.

"Not everything's about you, Roman," she scoffed.

Not her giving him more lip. He would do something about that later. "I called you a buncha times last week but you didn't pick up. You left my texts on read," he accused with narrowed eyes. "You ignored me."

Erica tilted her chin, her stance defiant. "And why does that surprise you?"

He raised an eyebrow at her biting response and chuckled at her audacity. Sugar was quite the firecracker and honestly, he couldn't get enough. Walking towards her, he smirked as he caught on to her struggle to keep her eyes on him and not on his thick dick print, clear as day in his gray sweatpants. He reached out and rubbed her arm with his hand before tugging her closer to him.

"Sweetheart, don't ever ignore me again. Especially when you know that pussy belongs to me."

"Does it? Funny, I thought I was 'just another pricey whore'. Did you forget you said that to me?"

He rolled his eyes with a huff. "Sometimes I say shit I don't mean, baby girl, you know how it is."

Taken aback by his dismissive, nonchalant attitude, she yanked her arm away. "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? After everything we've been through? That shit was foul as fuck!" she said incredulously.

"I know. That's why I texted you to come over so I could apologize in person, but you refused to answer me. I hate it when you shut me out, Erica."

"You shut me out, too! For weeks! And now that you're bored you summon me like I'm your fuckin' toy. I am not your toy, Roman! I don't give a damn that you're a Hollywood star, there's plenty of other A-listers out there who will take care of me and not treat me like shit."

"And yet, you come back to me every time," he pointed out, the smug curl of his lip just as panty-wetting as the rest of him. "None of your other clients take care of you like I do, make you feel the way I do. That's why you dropped 'em all, for me."

Erica started to retort but stopped herself, realizing that this was in fact, the truth. But she'd be damned if she let him have the last laugh. "Ya know what? This was a mistake. I should go. I had something to tell you but I dunno why I even bothered to come here."

She turned around but he grabbed her before she could go far, drawing her back to him. Seeing her getting worked up always seemed to fuel his desire for her. The angrier she was, the hotter the sex, and he was horny as fuck for her right now.

"Look at you, gettin' all riled up," he drawled, his tone tinged with amusement. "I love it when you're mad, that shit turns me on, baby."

This man was as infuriating as he was sexy. "Fuck you! Everything is a joke to you!"

"This feel like a joke right here?" he demanded, snatching her hand and pressing it against his throbbing length. The little whimper she let out as she cupped him sealed her fate.

"Feel that? Feel what you do to me?" His voice was rough and needy, matching the look in his eyes. "I need you, Erica. It's been weeks and I've been goin' fuckin' crazy without you."

"Go home to your wife, then," she bit back with a lot less conviction than she aimed for. The pull was much too strong, quite literally too as he wrapped both arms around her slender waist, his face nuzzling her neck and making her hiss as his soft beard tickled her skin.

"She don't make me feel like you do." His voice was needy and almost pathetic as his mouth pressed her throat. "Let me make it up to you, baby. I wanna kiss you. Can I kiss you?" His tongue was warm, his breath hot and heavy on her skin, and her arousal flared against her will.

"Roman..."

"Come on, baby, kiss me," he murmured, his lips sliding over hers. It was a slow but deliberate assault, and Erica felt her body yield as a soft gasp escaped from her. She sagged against him, gripping his shoulders for balance as their mouths smacked oh so sensually together. Fuck, she missed this, missed his delicious kisses and his assured touch as he grabbed her round, fleshy ass, kneading and caressing in his hands and pressing himself harder against her.

Roman growled softly as he released her mouth, his tongue snaking out to lick his lips as his eyes flitted down to her chest. "Take your clothes off," he commanded.

Wordlessly, Erica's hands slid over the leather belt on her waist to slowly unbuckle it. Then, she opened up her coat, eased it off her shoulders and let it fall to the ground, leaving her in nothing, absolutely nothing, but her heels. Roman's darkened orbs blazed to an onyx black as they scanned her naked body, drinking in every smooth, delicate, voluptuous curve. Grabbing her by the waist, he backed her up against the nearest wall, his hardened dick straining against her exposed center. A shiver ran through her as he crashed his mouth back to hers, his huge hand squeezing her throat briefly before tracing the valley between her breasts, and she finally let go of the groan she was holding back as his hand came in contact with the intimate spot between her thighs.

"Damn..." he smirked as he found nothing but wetness, pushing his palm against the slick mound and sliding his fingers along her slit. She moaned in response, her hands gripping his tattooed bicep as his thick finger pushed into her, her pussy quivering around the digit as he thrust it at a maddeningly steady pace.

"Mmm-hmm you like this, don't you baby?" he said, nipping at her bottom lip, coaxing yet another moan from the back of her throat as he slipped a second finger home with deep, languid thrusts. She whimpered helplessly, her vision blurring as her walls dripped and tightened around the invading digits. Her forehead dropped onto his chest, battling to hold on to her sanity. "Fuck..."

Buoyed by her whines and soft cries, he pumped his fingers more earnestly, hissing softly when her walls rippled around them again, signaling her end. "You 'boutta come already, huh? I told you this my pussy. Squeeze my fingers Erica, come for me."

Damn him and his ability to control her with just his touch. Her eyes squeezed shut, and her shout of pleasure came from somewhere inside her soul as she spasmed uncontrollably. She could hear his triumphant snicker as her juices flooded his fingers, brushing his mouth against hers as she leaned into him to regain her tenuous balance. He scooped the round, soft flesh of her breast into his eager palm, with his other hand leaving her pussy to suck her juices, humming pleasantly at the familiar sweet taste.

"Remember what I told you in my text?" he breathed, his gaze trained expectantly on her.

"Mm-hmm."

"Tell me," he insisted, now massaging both her breasts. "Tell me what I said to you. I made you a promise. What was it?"

Erica fought through the thick haze of passion to recall his exact words from the raunchy text message. "You promised to make me come at least three times before we ever make it to the bed," she recounted.

Roman smiled smugly, satisfied with her response. "Uh huh. And Daddy always keeps his promises, don't he? That was the first. Two more to go. Now, let me show you around my new crib."

He showed her around, alright. First, on the plush sectional in the living room area, with her on her back and her head hanging off the edge as he slowly thrust his dick in and out of her mouth. She let his groans wash over her as her jaw relaxed to take more of his intimidating length down her throat. Even upside down, her gag reflex was superb, so each time he thrust inside her, her tongue lapped at the base of his cock, soaking his balls with her spit. Willing to give as much as he was receiving, he leaned forward and rubbed her clit in quick circular motions, making her moan around his cock with the vibrations causing his neck to extend, looking up to the ceiling as pleasure licked his spine.

"Unnnh fuck, suck my dick, take it all down your throat, baby," he encouraged her, sliding his other hand over her breast and toying with her nipple, all while fucking her face. His knees weakened at the sight of his length bulging her throat, she always knew how to take him well. "Shit, Sugar, you look so fuckin' hot like this..."

Erica moaned again through her stuffed throat, waves of heat washing over her as her pussy pulsated beneath the pleasure of his long thick fingers. In all her time under the bright lights and the seedy bowels of Hollywood, she had never been captivated by any one human being. Until him. Their escort-client relationship had long since grown into something more. She had given up on resisting him and let him do anything he wanted to her in bed. But tonight she craved some semblance of control, and this time, his famed charms would not stop her from getting it.

Pushing him away so he slipped out of her mouth, she sat up straight and tugged him onto the massive couch with her. Straddling his hips as he sat up, she placed one hand on his barrel-like shoulder while using the other to curl her fingers around his pulsing dick. He groaned and bucked his hips as she flicked the head of his dick along her slit just to torture him a little. Then guided him against her opening and slid down.

The moment felt heavy and tense, like a tightly twined coil as her wetness opened up for him. At the end of her slow descent, she stopped to adjust to all the emotions and sensations wracking both their bodies. Unconsciously rocking her hips into him, she gasped as the pressure immediately started to build. Their hands and mouths were all over each other. Roman ran his hands up and down her back, rubbed her tits, squeezed her ass. Erica raked her nails over his nipples, sucked on his neck, bit his shoulder. Fuck, it felt so damn good already. Ass rested comfortably on his thighs, chest to naked chest with his dick lodged inside her, it was clear they were not going to last very long.

Leaning back slightly on her other hand placed on his thigh, she began to ride him. Slow and steady at first, making him absorb every drop of her ass, every crevice, every sensation. The lust and pleasure consumed them both, their mouths colliding with hot, sloppy kisses, her moans pitching higher as the tension thickened. His own groans grew heavier and gruffer, his hands leaving her hips to slide underneath her ass and lift her up and down. Exquisite torture, with his strong grip on her making her wet pussy take every inch of him. The angles of his upward thrusts as he bounced her on his dick had her making noises like a bitch in heat. He was so snug and warm and deep inside her, it was as though she could feel him in her soul.

"Oh my fuckin' god," she half-groaned, half-cried, throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his neck as he bounced her even harder. Up, down, up, down. His dick stretched her walls, his fingers deep into her ass cheeks enough to leave a bruise or two. The dizzying sensations spiraled her into another orgasm, and she sat all the way down on his dick and rolled her ass desperately, literally riding out her nut. She couldn't stop herself from biting into his sweaty, salty skin as she came, making the big man growl in reaction and smack her ass hard.

"That's your second nut," he declared.

He flipped her onto her back, still deep inside her. He looked down at her with hungry, blown pupils, letting his hands dance along the meat of her thighs and her calves. Throwing her legs onto his shoulders, he leaned forwards, folding her in two as he fucked her into the couch. Her hands clawed the back of his head only for him to grab them and pin them above her head. The sweat clung to their skins as he steeled his thighs and grinded himself into her wet heat, his face lowering to suck both of her nipples into his mouth, his tongue swirling around each peaked bud. Her groans snowballed with his groans as he drove his dick impossibly deep inside her with primal intensity. When she managed to speak, her voice was unrecognizable. "Oh fuck, I'm coming," she moaned hoarsely, her toes curling behind his head as she exploded again, "Oh my god, Roman, ohhh..."

"I'm 'bout to come too, don't fuckin' move," he panted, holding her down to piston his hips and pound into her. Erica basked in the sound of his tortured groan when his big body tensed up and she felt him pour into her warm confines, his hips stuttering as he found sweet release.

"Got you to three quicker than I expected," he said when he caught his breath, kissing her cheek. "We just gettin' started, baby. I'ma remind you why this pussy is mine."

He gave her an up close and personal view of the city's remarkable skyline, her breasts crushed against the glass window as his juicy lips ravaged her from behind. She could only imagine how she looked right now. Her legs wide, ass spread open, her battered pussy wet and swollen and pulsing for more of his oral onslaught. Nobody ate her out the way he did, with so much passion, covering all the bases, her clit, her inner lips, and even her asshole. The warmth of his breath had her walls clenching as he licked and sucked and kissed everywhere, painting her slickness with his spit. The relief she felt as he finally detached his mouth from her center and got off his knees was replaced with his heavy cock tapping her pussy lips before breaching her entrance with the thick girth. Each thrust dragged her sensitive nipples across the cool, hard surface of the glass, but Erica was so lost in the moment that she didn't care.

"Mmmph, fuck me, baby, fuck my pussy," she exhaled another pining moan, her nails scraping against the glass where he had ordered her to place her hands. Her mouth fell open when he slapped her backside, that deliciously dangerous dick of his pounding into her in full view of the bright lights of Los Angeles. His dick slid in deeper and deeper, his hips circling each time he was buried inside her, making her knees buckle as her climax inched ever closer. She tried to speak again, but words failed her, reducing her to a whimpering, shivering mess as her pussy clenched greedily around his dick. Roman merely chuckled arrogantly, reveling in his handiwork.

"You sound so fuckin' sexy, baby girl, keep moaning for me like that," he purred, his hands clamped on her shapely hips to make her take his lethal strokes. He was a man on a mission, punishing her for assuming she had any sort of control over him. Tears sprang to her eyes as he slowed down his thrusts, his pelvis mashed up against her soft backside as his cock worked inside the sensitive walls of her pussy with a more tender rhythm. He filled her with stroke after long stroke, making them both moan as she squirted all over him this time, her orgasm breaking her into a million pieces.

He showed her the stripper pole next to his bed. He had it installed specially for her, he said, so she could show off her elite lap dancing skills for him and him alone. Watching that itty-bitty waist and all that ass bounce on his dick like her rent was due would be the end of him; He couldn't resist massaging the soft cheeks in his palm, one after the other as she gyrated back and forth on him like a professional.

"Uh huh, go off, baby, pop that pussy on my dick," he drawled from his spot on the pouf he lounged on, his sturdy thighs spread wide apart to give her all the space she needed to ride and grind while she held onto the pole for balance. He watched the streaks of his cum trickle down her gyrating ass, and it made for quite the visual, slapping against the mixture of her juices smothered over his groin. He rubbed in the remnants of his seed on her cheeks, biting his lip as the skin glistened and made her big booty look even bigger. "Mmm, damn baby, this pussy so good, I should throw a dollar at your fine ass..."

"Fuck!" Erica had the pole in a death grip as yet another orgasm rocked her body. She had to get off his dick because she was shaking so hard. The tremors had her mewling pitifully as she bent over, gifting him with the sight of her pink pussy quivering as her cum ran down her inner thighs.

"Get back down here," Roman ordered, smacking her leg and then her ass as he stroked his dick in his hand, "You ain't done. Sit your ass back down on this dick."

He'd been wanting to break in his new California king bed since it'd been installed, so it was apt that he was breaking her back in it. He had her on her stomach, her asshole stuffed with a purple-colored butt plug as he stuffed her pussy with his hard, long cock. She moaned and gasped beneath him, clutching the comforter with her fists as he fucked her like a savage, her plump ass trapped in his possessive grasp.

"Daddyyyyy..." Her moan was loud and long and desperate. It became too much. Roman's dick seemed to double in size inside her and both her holes felt too full to the point of another explosion. A sob tore from her chest.

"Why you cryin'? Huh?" He slapped her ass. "Don't cry. You wanted this dick. Ain't that why you came over? Daddy told you to come and you listened like a good bitch, Daddy's sexy ass bitch. Come here." He hiked her hips higher to force a deeper, more painful arch in her back, and rammed his dick into her sweet spot over and over, demolishing her pussy. Too spent to throw her ass back, she could only lay there and take it, and her eyes squeezed shut, certain she was about to pass out from pleasure.

A big square mirror stretched across the ceiling directly above the bed. His hand slithered into her hair, tugging her head back, almost hyperextending her neck to make her look up. Her mouth dropped open in a moan as she watched that big thick shaft glide in and out of her, the soft skin of her ass rippling against the smacks of his pelvis. Just the sight of him and her together in such an erotic moment had her leaking again, soaking the silk sheets on the bed. He was fucking her so good. She hadn't come this hard and this many times in a long, long time.

Sitting back on his heels, he brought her off the bed and flush against him, assaulting her neck with his hot mouth. "You make me so fuckin' crazy, Erica. Don't nobody else make me lose control like this," he whispered, his grip tightening around her throat as the other hand gripped her breast, making her whimper. "Love this pussy so fuckin' much. You love this dick, baby?"

"Yes Daddy, I love it, I love you," she choked out.

"Mm-hmm, I love you too, baby. You gon' make me come all up inside you, girl," he grunted, his brain growing fuzzier as his end neared. He wrapped her up in his big arms, engulfing her with his heat, lavishing her panting mouth with tongue kisses as his hips rocked upwards, teasing her g-spot. Erica found enough strength to rock with him, grinding back against him, the lovers moving together in the most intimate, sensual dance. Roman groaned with pleasure when he felt her incredibly tight pussy pulling on his cock. It was almost difficult for him to continue thrusting inside of her, but her warm slickness eased the way for him. His hand left her breast and slid down her sweat-slick body to play with her clit, dragging her weak body over the edge.

"Unnnnhhhh..." Erica moaned out, her eyes rolling in the back of her head. Roman moaned with her, his soft lips trailing wet, frenzied kisses along her throat as his balls tightened, craving fresh release. "Come, baby girl, come for Daddy," he whispered shakily.

His wish was her command. Her body went limp as she detonated one more time, creaming all over his dick in the process. Roman let his head fall forward, his groan muffled against her throat as he came hard, smearing his warm cum all up in her walls. Erica murmured incoherently as she felt him pulse inside of her, giving her everything he had like he always did. When it was all over, he grabbed hold of her hair and planted yet another searing kiss on her lips, before releasing her to collapse on the mattress. Admiring her thoroughly fucked disposition, he massaged her backside tenderly before slowly easing the plug out of her, watching her wince from the pain. Running a hand over the back of her head, he brought her face to face with his groin. "Suck all this shit off my cock," he ordered.

Erica licked her lips at the sight of his thick member, semi-erect and slathered in a milky cocktail of her juices and his semen. Grasping it obediently, she lowered her mouth onto it, moaning softly at the taste of herself on him. Roman looked on with a bite of his lip, stroking her hair as she licked him clean. Afterwards, he lay on his side and pulled her into his chest. Erica sighed happily as he kissed her gently, soothing all her pain away. This feeling right here was the reason she could never let him go. Their connection was too deep, too special. No man had ever made her feel like this and she didn't want to lose it; the high of having him, the euphoria of belonging to him. It was why she was willing to quit today, right now even, and start a new life with him. She needed him to be with her forever, and she wasn't sure she was going to take no for an answer this time.

After what she was about to tell him, she doubted he would say no...not when the life they had created together was done out of the love they shared.

"Baby?" she whispered softly to him, watching him closely.

"Hmm?" Lying flat on his back, his eyes were shut and he was in a state of complete relaxation.

"Look at me," she said, waiting for him to meet her eyes before speaking. She needed him to understand the words coming out of her mouth.

"Roman, I'm pregnant, and the baby is yours."

End of Chapter 22

--------------------

Erica's unexpected declaration spelled the beginning of the end of her relationship with Roman. His behavior took a complete 180, having security drag her out of his new apartment, denying all ties to her unborn child and cutting off all communication with her. A distraught Erica terrorized him, stalking his family, poisoning his wife Gaelle and getting him fired from a lucrative film project. It all came to a head when Erica took Gaelle hostage in Roman's vacation home where he had fled to escape her rampage. She forced him at gunpoint to have sex with her in his marital bed while his wife watched, but died when he deliberately strangled her in the middle of her orgasm. It also turned out that Erica was never pregnant, and the positive test she'd shown Roman belonged to her friend and fellow escort, Tiffany. Erica's story made headline news all around the world. It was an incredibly shocking end and it worked well with the dramatic plot of the story.

You were glad for the artistic license, and though what really happened with you was less chaotic, it was not any less heart wrenching. You never even got to break the news to Joe. In fact, he was gone from your bed before the crack of dawn, vanished like a thief in the night. Never returned your calls or messages until three days later, when you received a text message from him that put your heart in a blender.

Nicole and I have decided to work things out. For good this time. I hope you understand. Thanks for always being there for me. Take care of yourself. ❤

How you recovered from that blow, you would never know. How you dug yourself out of the hole of darkness he dumped you in was still a mystery to you sometimes. It really was a testament to your mental strength, because not many people would have survived the unimaginable pain he inflicted on you. The sinister side of you wished you had been brave enough to do exactly what Erica did, to take out your rage on him and make him hurt like he hurt you. But instead you redirected that energy to your work, pouring every second of your anguish into the book. It took a long time for you to get to this point of fulfillment and success in your life, and the book had been your therapy. Now, you were at least making good money from your pain and it softened the blow a little bit.

When you thought about Joe these days, it wasn't with as much resentment. It seemed he had a few problems of his own anyway, as his beloved Nicole was reportedly threatening to upgrade their separation to a divorce and take his kids with her. How the tables turned. Nonetheless, you wished him the best. You still had love for him. You would always miss him. He changed your life, and there was no doubt that you would forever carry him with what was left of your heart.

"Mama?"

You heard her little voice before you heard the shuffle of her tiny feet. Quickly placing the wine glass in the sink, you turned as the love of your life came into view, her favorite blanket dragging behind her as she searched the room for you.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping, little lady?" you asked, fighting back a big smile to look as serious as possible. She was in her "I wanna stay up late" phase and you couldn't afford to fold, not this time at least.

Her little dual Afro puffs jiggled as she rubbed her hand over her eyes, "Come sweep with me, Mama," she pleaded, staring up at you with her big, expressive brown eyes and a pout that was the spitting image of her famous father. She was starting to look so much like him.

Your heart swelled as she padded over to you with her arms outstretched. You lifted her up and held her small body tightly, absorbing her innocence and unconditional love. She smelled so fresh and delicate, like roses, sunshine and baby powder. Her scent has filled your life with joy and purpose since the day you brought her into this world two years ago.

And to think you had almost taken those pills to snuff out this beautiful life in a fleeting moment of weakness. Now, you would give your own life to protect hers without question. Always.

"Okay, kiddo, let's get you back to bed," you cooed softly, kissing her chubby cheek.

"Read me a stowy, Mama?"

"Of course, baby."

As you retreated to your daughter's bedroom, your phone vibrated beside your MacBook. Three letters you had not seen in years flashed on the Home Screen, cutting through the empty room and calling out to you.

❤️Joe❤️

THE END

--------------------------

Alternate Sugar & The Chief book cover

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risingchaos · 3 months ago

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In episode nineteen of season three of Star Trek: The Original Series, Requiem for Methuselah, our main three go down to a planet to find a cure for an epidemic on the Enterprise. They run into a man named Flint, who takes them back to his home and offers help. While there, Kirk falls in love with a woman, Rayna, who turns out to be an android. She was designed to be a lover for her creator, Flint, and when she finds out she’s an android while Flint is threatening the triumvirate, she’s so torn between her love for creator and her love for Kirk that she actually dies. Obviously there’s a lot more to the episode but that’s the basics. There’s a few bits in here I think about a lot.

At the end, after Rayna dies, Spock says this after some dialogue.

Spock: The joys of love made her human, and the agonies of love destroyed her.

Fucking insane quote to have, especially from Spock. Near the start of this episode, Bones had offered Kirk brandy and half offered it to Spock with his normal “Spock hates fun” jabs, but Spock took him up on it and even opened up about how he was experiencing a new emotion. Envy. Envy of the man’s house they were in, which contained a lot of originals never seen before from a variety of famous artists.

Now, Spock saying that alone in the same episode where it was clear we had a teeny focus on Spock’s emotive capabilities was so great. We love a glimpse into the odd mind of our resident Vulcan, but it gets better. Spirk shippers, listen up.

Just before they find out Rayna is an android, they were about to travel into an unknown part of the complex they were in to retrieve said cure that had been hidden in there. Before entering, Spock steps in front of Kirk, saying he should go in alone as it might be dangerous. Obviously Kirk puts up a bit of a fight, and McCoy jumps in, pressuring Spock into letting all three of them go. He relents, and they go in.

Again, maybe not the most impactful on its own, but it’s a very important thing. Spock wanted to protect specifically Kirk from whatever danger might lie within. We later know this is because Spock wanted to hide Kirk from finding out Rayna is an android, but still. It’s insane.

At the very end, right before credits, Spock goes to Kirk’s room where the man in question is mourning the loss of Rayna. He compares himself to Flint very despondently.

Kirk: Very old, and lonely man. And a young, and lonely man. We put on a pretty poor show there, didn’t we? If only I could forget..

He puts his head down on the desk just before McCoy walks in. McCoy makes a comment about Kirk finally sleeping, tells Spock that everything is alright on the ship, then drops this absolutely insane paragraph.

McCoy: You wouldn’t understand [love], would you, Spock? You see, I feel sorrier for you than I do [Kirk], because you’ll never know the things that love can drive a man to. The ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, and the glorious victories. All of these things you’ll never know, simply because the word love isn’t written into your book. Goodnight, Spock.

Spock: Goodnight, Doctor.

McCoy: I do wish [Kirk] could forget her.

McCoy then exits, leaving Spock staring at the asleep form of his captain. Spock approaches, quiet, and leans down. He gently placed his fingers on Kirk’s face, and whispers something right before credits roll.

Spock: Forget.

Spock, out of love for His Captain, grants his wish and uses his abilities to help him forget what had happened.

Spock loves Kirk. I don’t know how anyone denies this.

#star trek #star trek the original series #star trek tos #spock #jim kirk #requiem for methuselah #tos spock #s'chn t'gai spock #captain james kirk #james kirk #leonard mccoy #bones mccoy #dr mccoy #tos spirk #spirk #spock/kirk #how does anybody deny this #like holy shit guys

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willalove75 · 1 year ago

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Alcina's New Maid Pt. 17 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: You have your final few days of training and the morning of the meeting finally arrives.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI. Very brief mention of suicide (while talking about Donna's past and her parents). No details mentioned, just mentioning the act itself. If you want to skip that part, skip to the dialogue after the paragraph starting with **.

Tags: fluff, light angst

Notes: Part 17! Sorry for the teeny tiny cliffhanger but we were reaching 5k words so I had to cut it off. Next chapter will dive straight into the meeting! Also, I re-read most of this the other day but I'm sick and don't have the mental capacity to go over it again so apologies for any errors!

Click here for the rest of the series

Gif source

The following morning Cassandra woke you up before sunrise again for your last full day of training. Once you were warmed up she started sparring with you again and showing you different ways to get out of different kinds of grapples.

After breakfast she brought out one of her old daggers and handed it to you and taught you how to use it properly now that Karl was making you one of your own. Cassandra showed you how to wield it, and the different ways you can use it for defense and the occasional attack. Once she was satisfied with your movements she ran inside and grabbed a wooden dagger and used that to spar with you.

The first hour of the sparring session ended with her poking you with her wooden dagger in at least eight different places that would kill you. She grabbed Dani and used her as a model to point out where the main arteries in the body were and how to hit them to either kill your opponent or cause massive damage.

She continued sparring with you and teaching you how to block the most important parts of your body to avoid death or severe injury. After a few hours you were finally getting the hang of it and you decided to take a quick break for lunch. Zina brought out your lunches again and Bela and Daniela joined the two of you, all of you eating in the courtyard.

When you finished eating Cassandra quizzed you on the locations of the major arteries again and had you practice sheathing and unsheathing your dagger while you digested. After about an hour it was back to sparring. Once more you sparred with Bela and Daniela but this time they had the wooden dagger. Bela was hard to hit due to her defensive nature and you were able to get a few hits on Daniela because her moves were so erratic and chaotic. None of the hits you landed would have done much damage - no less kill someone - but the fact that you were able to hit her at all meant you were progressing well.

"Okay, now you'll have mother, Aunt Donna and Uncle Karl there to help you if shit goes sideways so you won't have to fight Miranda alone." Cassandra says.

"Which is a good thing because if you fought her alone you would definitely die." Daniela adds in.

"Oh yeah, without a doubt. You'd be super fucked. But even with the three of them Miranda is still stupid strong so it'll still be a really hard fight. Lets team up, you and Dani and me and Bela and we'll do a team match. This will encompass everything, grapples, defense, the daggers, you gotta be on your toes."

The match started and Daniela immediately went after Bela and Cassandra headed directly for you. You were able to fight her off for a decent amount of time before she grappled you. When you realized her grip on you was too strong you were able to grab your dagger and stab her in the leg and get out of it. Even though you missed the artery it was still enough damage to knock her off her game for a moment and get out of her grip.

It felt wrong attacking the girls. Even though you knew a stab like that was the equivalent of a papercut to them. Attacking them wasn't something you enjoyed. Although if you were being honest, attacking anyone wasn't something you enjoyed so at least when you go to stab someone else when they attack you you won't feel as bad as you do when you stab one of the girls.

Bela was able to knock Daniela down and headed over to you to assist Cassandra. Two on one was tough and you didn't last long at all. Although you lasted longer than you thought you would - meaning you were able to fight them off for about a minute instead of immediately being subdued. Bela managed to pin you down and when Daniela finally got over to you, Cassandra was quick to pin her, winning them the match.

The sound of applause rang through the air as Alcina walked over.

"Well done girls. Cassandra, your swordsmanship with the dagger was fantastic, Bela, wonderful defense, Daniela, I don't know how you always manage to keep your sisters on their toes, even after all of these years. And draga, you did a fantastic job, you held your own well. I'm very proud of all of you." She says with a smile. "Now girls, go get washed up, dinner will be soon."

The girls swarm up to give their mother kisses on her cheek and head inside. Alcina walks over to one of the benches and sits down. She pulls you into her lap and holds you close.

"I am very impressed draga mea, truly."

"You are?"

"Yes, I saw you stab Cassandra in the leg to get out of her grasp. Your quick thinking was impressive my love."

"Thanks. I really hope a fight doesn't break out at the meeting. It's one thing sparring with the girls, but with Miranda? I don't know, it makes me nervous."

"It makes me nervous too draga mea. But I'll be there with you and I won't let anything happen to you. Donna and Karl also swore to help protect you so you will be okay." She says.

"I'd hate to be the reason anyone got hurt."

Alcina kisses you on the head and you look up into her golden eyes. She smiles down at you and places a knuckle under your chin and leans down, capturing you lips with hers.

"I won't let anything happen to you, draga mea. I promise." She whispers against your lips.

"I know." You reply before kissing her again.

Alcina nuzzles you and the dinner bell rings.

The two of you walk into the dining room and the girls swarm in. Hunger hits you the moment you smell the delicious food and as soon as your plate it piled you dig in.

Alcina lets you sleep in a little the next morning and just as you're getting dressed the breakfast bell rings. After breakfast Cassandra reviews some of the things she's taught you over the last few days and the two of you finish up right before lunch.

The rest of the day goes by pretty quickly. Cassandra does another quick review with you after dinner and once the two of you are finished you head into your room and find Alcina drawing herself a bath.

"Ah, draga, there you are. How was it?"

"It was good, I was able to retain almost everything she taught me."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. Would you like to join me?" She asks as she finishes taking off the rest of her clothes and steps into the tub.

You nod and pull off your clothes and toss them in the hamper. Alcina lifts you into the tub and sits you down in her lap with your back against her chest. Once you're comfortable you let out a sigh and lean into her. Alcina wraps her arms around you and kisses your neck.

You're completely enveloped by her, by her scent, by the feeling of her skin against yours, her warm breath skating across your neck. As stressed as you are over tomorrow's meeting you can't help but feel relaxed in her arms. When you're with her like this you feel more safe than you ever have in your life. Even after everything - all of the pain, the hurt, the heartbreak, she's still the one that brings you more comfort than anyone else ever has. If you tried making sense of it you'd surely get a migraine. But right here, in her arms, you're safe. And that's all that matters.

"How are you feeling about tomorrow?" You ask her.

"It's difficult to know how to feel when I don't know what her intentions are, draga. If it were solely about the hunters I would say I am prepared and looking forward to coming up with a plan to deal with them. Although yes, the hunters will certainly be discussed because they are a topic of concern, I know Miranda and I know she's not asking you to be there to solely take notes."

"Are you afraid of her?"

Alcina pauses for a moment to contemplate your question as her fingers mindlessly trace patterns across your skin.

"Yes and no."

"How so?"

"I am not afraid of her for myself. She is incredibly powerful and even though it would not be easy, she could certainly kill me. But I know she won't. She needs myself and the rest of the lords to keep the village under her thumb as she searches for her perfect vessel. And since I do most of the work she knows that killing me would be a mistake. But I fear for the day that she deems us unnecessary because when that day comes, she won't hesitate killing all of us. Her power is nearly limitless and I have no doubt that she will do anything and everything to succeed in finding a suitable vessel for Eva. Even if it means destroying everything around her to do so. Until then she will do whatever she feels is necessary to keep us, the lords, in line. I'm also worried that she is going to try and hurt you to hurt me. I wouldn't put it past her to do something like that again and that scares me, draga mea."

She sighs and holds you tight, nuzzling her nose into your hair. As you take in her words, the word "again" sticks out.

"What do you mean 'again?'"

"Lets finish up in here and I'll tell you in bed."

You nod and you both finish bathing. After drying off and putting on pajamas you crawl into bed and curl under Alcina's chin. Alcina holds you close and continues.

"Many years ago, decades ago at this point, Karl had a paramour. It wasn't someone he truly loved but he did care for them. They were a worker at his factory and the two of them began spending time together. Karl began slacking off to spend more time with them; Mother Miranda got wind of it and she was less than pleased. One day they went missing. Mother Miranda called a meeting and none of us knew why until we arrived and saw Karl's paramour chained down at her feet. She said they were nothing but a nuisance and they were only causing trouble, distracting Karl from her goal of finding a perfect vessel. She ordered Karl to kill them and he refused. Mother Miranda was going to kill them but instead I offered. Karl was furious but I knew that whatever Miranda was going to do, she was going to make them suffer horrifically because Karl refused her. She relented and I was the one who killed them. It was the only time I ever apologized to someone before I killed them. They knew that this was a mercy kill and that Miranda would have done much worse so it was also the only time someone had thanked me for doing it. Miranda was pleased and allowed me to take their body back to the castle to do what I pleased with it. Karl came over the next day and he was so angry, he thought I drained their blood and turned them into one of the vineyards scarecrows. But I didn't, instead I cleared a small spot on the edge of the woods and had them buried. Karl was grateful and after we had a conversation he understood why I did what I did. Karl was still relatively new and hadn't seen Miranda's wrath like I had. He knew refusing her would anger her but he didn't realize she would have taken it out on their paramour instead of himself."

"Is that why he hates Miranda?"

"One of the reasons. He hated her well before that incident. She had kidnapped him and infected him with the cadou when she found out that he was one of the descendants of the four founders of the village. He never got a say in the matter like I did. She just took him and forced it upon him."

"That's so horrible. Why didn't he just leave after he got the cadou?"

"It's difficult to explain but in the end he wasn't able to. Miranda would have hunted him down. Once we were given the cadou, whether or not we had a choice in the matter, we were forced to stay. She was also able to influence him to stay."

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone takes to the cadou differently. I have a theory that those with a higher affinity to the cadou are less affected by Miranda's control. To a certain extent, Miranda controls the mold because her powers were given to her by the Black God, which is where the mold comes from. Since the cadou contains the mold, by extension Miranda has a certain amount of control over it."

"So can she control you?"

"Not necessarily. I believe she has a certain amount of influence over me, but no, she cannot control me because I have a higher affinity to it. For example, the moroaicǎ and lycans have almost no affinity to the cadou so Miranda can control them if she wanted to. In the past she has, but she generally she views them as a waste of time so she gave Karl the job of overseeing the lycans and myself the moroaicǎ."

"So how can you tell who does and doesn't have a higher affinity to it?"

"My theory is that the more mutated the subject, the less affinity they have towards it. The moroaicǎ and lycans are at the bottom, they are the most mutated and most easily controllable therefore have the lowest affinity. Next comes Salvatore, whom you haven't met yet. He is severely mutated and will do anything to please Miranda. Next I believe is Donna. Although her only mutation is on her face, she is very mentally unstable which leads me to believe that Miranda can more easily influence her."

"How is she mentally unstable?"

Alcina lets out a sigh as her fingers dance across your skin.

**"It is quite a tragic story. Many years ago, before she received the cadou, her sister, Claudia, died. Donna was very young when it happened and her parents were unable to deal with the death of their child so they committed suicide together leaving Donna all alone."

"Oh my god, that's horrible."

"It was horrific. After they died she isolated herself and developed severe depression and anxiety. When she received the cadou, she took part of hers and put it into Angie and now primarily uses Angie to speak when she's around mixed company."

"Wait, so Donna is that chaotic?"

Alcina laughs and shakes her head.

"Gods no, Donna uses Angie to speak but the cadou granted Angie her own personality. Part of me believes some of the things Angie says are the thoughts Donna would never say out loud but that is just mere speculation."

"So how do you know when it's Donna talking or Angie?"

"Donna's voice comes through Angie."

"Oh, got it."

"Yes. So because of Donna's mental illness, she is more easily influenced by Miranda but since her and I have formed and alliance that influence has been fading."

"How about you and Karl?"

"Based on my mutation theory, I would be next given," Alcina gestures to her body. "and Miranda does have some influence over me, but not much. I have retained enough of my own cognitive abilities to not fall completely under her influence. There are times where I can feel her influence and if I so chose to I can ignore it. But the pull is there."

"Is it hard to ignore?"

"In the beginning it was, but now not so much."

"Can she tell when you ignore it?"

"Yes, but only because when I do, I am not doing what she wants so she knows her influence on me has failed. Whether she knows I consciously ignore her or not is still a mystery."

"So Karl has the highest affinity to the cadou?"

"As much as I loathe to admit it, yes. Which is also why I refuse to relay this theory to him because I would never hear the end of it. But he has no visible physical mutations, at least that I am aware of. And he hates Miranda more than any of us. He refuses to do anything she asks unless it directly benefits him and he has no desire for her acceptance or approval."

"Do you have any desire for her acceptance or approval?"

Alcina pauses for a moment and you look up at her. She has a faraway look in her eyes before she looks down at you and sighs.

"Truthfully? Yes." You feel the hairs on your arms raise at her answer. Not that you're completely surprised, but hearing her say it out loud makes it real, too real. "It's complicated. There is a part of me that yearns for her acceptance. There's a part of me that's willing to do nearly anything for her. I understand how ridiculous that may sound but after so many years of being under her rule, it's difficult to not want acceptance from the person who essentially created you. And since she rarely shows her approval of anyone the thought of being one of the few becomes almost addicting. She has done a lot for me. She saved my life, although it was under false pretenses. Still, I am still alive because of her. She gifted me the girls, gave me the castle, the vineyard, and the business so I had a way of supporting myself. She has done a lot for me, for my family. In a way in feel indebted to her for those things. But at the same time I hate her. I can't stand what she's done to me, how she's manipulated me and used me over the years." She tightens her grip around you as she thinks back on her past history with Miranda. "I despise how she treats my daughters poorly. I hate that after everything I do for her, after everything I've done, she still views me the same as the rest of them. It aggravates me to no end."

"So you hate her, but at the same time you want to be her favorite? You know that sounds crazy, right?"

Alcina chuckles and rolls her eyes at you.

"I said is was complex, draga."

"Complex is an understatement." You say with a laugh.

Alcina shakes her head and runs her fingers through your hair. An unsettling energy fills the room as the two of you think about tomorrow's meeting.

"Even though I feel that pull of her influence, even though I crave her acceptance, I will never let her hurt you. I don't want you to think for a moment that I won't do everything I possibly can to protect you, draga."

"I know." You say, cuddling into her more.

"Good. Now try and get some sleep draga mea. Tomorrow is going to be a long day."

Her fingers comb through your hair and you feel her nails scratching at your scalp. She holds you a little closer after pulling the duvet over the both of you.

Even though you're tired you can't seem to fall asleep. Anxiety begins to creep its was into your chest and you cling to Alcina a little tighter.

"Rest, draga. I can hear your heartbeat from a mile away."

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous."

"So am I, but you need to sleep."

"I can't."

Alcina lays you on top of her, resting your head on her chest. One of her large hands scratches at your scalp as the other traces patterns across your back.

"Close your eyes, draga mea. I have you. I will protect you, I promise."

"I know you will. And I love you so much for that."

"I love you too."

Alcina starts singing, her fingers moving perfectly in time with the song and your eyes start to flutter shut. Even though you don't know what song it is since it's in Romanian, whatever she's singing is soothing and begins to lull you to sleep.

Alcina hears your breathing and heartrate settle and knows you finally drifted off. She finds herself having a hard time falling asleep - she's too anxious about tomorrow's meeting. But the soft sounds of your snores help her to relax and a little while later she dozes off into a restful sleep.

The following morning you wake up in the same exact position you fell asleep in; laying on top of Alcina with her arms wrapped tightly around you. Alcina feels you stir in her arms and brushes the hair away from your eyes.

"Good morning, draga mea." She says with a kiss to your head.

"Good morning." You say with a yawn as you stretch out on top of her and curl back up in her arms. "Did you stay here all night or did you get up to work and pull me back on top of you when you came back to bed?"

"No, draga." She says with a chuckle. "I stayed here all night with you."

You didn't say anything in response, just a light chuckle and then you nuzzled your face into her neck. Here in bed, in her arms, it was safe. You were safe. There wasn't a single part of either of you that wanted to get out of bed this morning. Neither of you wanting to leave the comfort and safety of each others embrace. The thought of starting the day made you a little anxious but after taking a deep breath and filling you nose with the scent of Alcina's skin and shampoo, your anxiety melted away and you relaxed into her.

"Can we stay here forever?" You asked as your lips brushed against her skin while your face was buried into her neck.

"I wish, draga mea. I wish." She sighed.

Reluctantly, the two of you finally got out of bed. The meeting was taking place in the chapel at the castle shortly after breakfast so both you and Alcina started getting yourselves ready for the day.

Alcina put on her usual floor-length cream dress, leather gloves, pearls, and her hat. The two of you decided that it was best that you wore the uniform that her handmaidens normally wear. She was sure that Miranda knew the relationship between the two of you was past the point of you just being her handmaid but in order to keep appearances up you both decided wearing the uniform was the way to go.

Once Alcina was finished fixing her hair and makeup the two of you headed down to the dining room for breakfast. Just as you were walking in the girls swarmed in and appeared in their seats.

"Good morning mother!" The girls said in unison.

"Good morning daughters." She said.

You could tell the girls wanted to ask how you and Alcina were feeling about the meeting but none of them dared to. They could tell Alcina was already on edge and they didn't want to make her worse. The nerves in your belly slowly but surely began to build as the time to leave creeped closer. Even though you weren't hungry you forced yourself to eat a decent meal because you knew you were going to need the energy.

Breakfast was quiet and the tension in the air steadily built as the time passed. Every so often you would look over at Alcina and every time you did you noticed she was further and further away mentally. You could tell that her mind was heavily focused on the meeting and that the newspaper in her hand was just a front. The only reason you knew that was because she stayed on the same page throughout the entire meal yet burned through at least four cigarettes. She looked as if she was rereading the same sentence over and over again as her mind wandered. By the time breakfast was over her eyebrows were so closely knit together they nearly became one.

When the girls finished eating they all kissed their mother on the cheek and wished her luck at the meeting. Daniela and Bela gave you a hug before they left and Cassandra punched you on the shoulder and mumbled "don't die." before swarming away.

As the girls left Zina entered the dining room.

"Pardon me, my Lady." She said to Alcina, whose eyes were back on the newspaper. "Lady Beneviento and Lord Moreau have arrived."

Alcina looked up and nodded before taking a sharp inhale and putting the paper down. She took one final drag of her cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray and downed the rest of her wine in one large gulp. Removing the napkin sitting on her lap, she carefully dabbed the corners of her lips and looked towards you and back to Zina.

"I made sure the chapel was stocked with extra wine. One bottle of sanguis virginis and the rest of your finest vintage, my Lady."

"Thank you Zina, your fine attention to detail never goes unnoticed."

"My pleasure, my Lady."

"Ready, draga?" Alcina asks you. You nod in response and she stands up. "We shall be off then."

As Alcina walks past Zina, Zina hands her her cigarette holder with a lit cigarette already sitting at the end. Alcina nods at Zina with a small smile and leaves. As you walk past Zina she stops you by putting her hand on your shoulder.

"Be careful." She whispers with a small squeeze before removing her hand and heading back towards the kitchen.

Alcina expertly guides you through the castle halls. Once you leave the main part of the castle you notice that the halls are less ornate. The smooth stone walls slowly turn more jagged and unkept and the cracks in the floor grow until the stones beneath your feet are uneven. You've never seen any part of the castle in such a state of despair before. Alcina doesn't say a word the entire time. The juxtaposition of her and your current surroundings is a fascinating one. Her steps are purposeful and she's as elegant as ever as she strides through her domain. Alcina is a woman of elegance, of nobility, she's a queen roaming the halls of her castle. Yet the current surroundings show evidence of disarray. The further down the hall you walk the worse it gets. Alcina would never let the main areas of the castle look like this. If a spec of dust is left behind she throws a fit. You wonder why she's allowed this area to fall apart so much, seemingly without care.

She leads you to a large door and turns towards you. As you finish taking in your surroundings you look up at her. There must have been a look of confusion on your face as you took in the crumbling walls around you because you hear Alcina sigh.

"As you know, I take pride in keeping my castle in top shape so I am sure the passageway has been rather out of the ordinary." You nod your head in response. "This side of the castle sustained extensive damage during the war and I was never able to properly conduct the repairs. The dilapidated state ended up keeping wandering maids away and it warded off unwanted visitors. It was far too much trouble to repair it and since it provided almost guaranteed privacy for these meetings I allowed it to remain in such a despicable state."

"Got it. That makes sense." You say with a small smile. Alcina returns the gesture but her smile doesn't reach her eyes.

She takes a deep breath and exhales. Her eyes stay on the floor and she looks like she is having trouble saying something.

"Are you okay?" You ask.

"Yes. I have something to ask of you, and I hate that I have to ask this of you."

"What is it?"

"In order to attempt to keep appearances up, I don't think it would be wise for you to," she pauses for a moment. "for you to call me Alcina during the meeting." She says quietly. Her eyes flick up to yours and they're filled with concern. "I know we are well past formalities but I'm worried about Miranda as it is and if she hears you call me by my given name, I fear it will make things worse."

Alcina starts to ramble a little and you take a step forward and reach out to grab her hand.

"Hey," you say, looking into her eyes. "I get it, it's okay. I promise."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, my Lady." You say with a smirk.

Alcina releases a breath that sounds like a sigh of relief and she cups your face with her hand.

"I truly don't know what I ever did in my life to deserve you, draga mea." She whispers.

The two of you share a moment as you gaze into each others eyes. Angie's cackle rings out on the other side of the door, effectively ruining the moment the two of you were having. Alcina closes her eyes and takes a grounding breath before adjusting her posture and putting her "countess" mask back on.

"Stay by my side and do not do anything unless I give you the okay. Understand?"

"Yes, my Lady."

She nods in approval and looks at the door and back to you.

"Shall we?" She asks.

You nod in response and she pulls a key out of the band around her hat. The door unlocks with a soft "click" and swings open. Alcina returns the key and she ducks under the doorframe, making her way into the chapel.

"Here goes nothing." You think to yourself before following behind her.

#willalove75 #lady dimitrescu #wlw fanfic #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu fanfic #re8 lady dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu x reader #lady alcina #re8 alcina #alcina x female reader #alcina x reader #re8 fanfiction #re8 village

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robocatfan · 30 days ago

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An angry summary of Speak the Ocean by Rebecca Enzor -Part 1

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

(well more of a combination of a summary, a rant, a critique/review and nitpicking, but you get the idea)

Because in my eternal search for more books about dangerous mermaids, I found this little book with such an interesting premise (it’s essentially mermaids in Seaworld) that i just had to read it. And since those sorts of stories don’t tend to be pretty good, I had high hopes for this story.

However, not only did it waste such a cool concept, but it disappointed and pissed me off so much that I decided “you know what? If I had to contend with this thing, I will bring everyone else down with me!”

… and also to spare anyone who doesn’t want to read it, but it’s curious about it , from suffering the same (not good!) brain rot I have thanks to this.

I’ll be doing this two or three chapters at a time because I noticed that my summaries… ended up a bit long.

Anyway. Lets begin.

Preface 1

The book starts by showing us an in-universe training manual for employees about interacting with the mer, as well as what to do if someone falls into the tank with them.

It tells us that unless they are doing a certain task (like using an electroshocker- yes, that’s its name), personnel must remain at least 3 feet from the water - which contradicts what we see a few chapters later, but we’ll get to that eventually - and if they need to work near the water, 4 personnel must be present and the water must be cooled and spiked with sedatives if necessary.

It follows up by saying that if someone falls into the tank with a mer inside, the person closest to the electroshocker ™ should place it in the water, and if the mer doesn’t react to it, they should shock them… while the person is still in the water. Yeah sure, that will help a lot with keeping them alive!

Meanwhile two people should use a net to separate the mer from the person while a third (the one with the shocker or the one in the water? Idk) keeps an eye on them. If they can’t trap the mer however, they are allowed to use the electroshocker ™ liberally- while again, the person they are trying to save is still in the water!

I get it’s a quick life or death situation, but come on! Tranquilizer guns and darts exist for a reason!

Chapter 1- Finn

This chapter introduces us to Finnegan Jarvis aka Finn, our human protagonist and a worker in Oceanica, the only mermaid marine park in the world. Also as you will see from this point forward… I hate his absolute, bigass di-

The story starts with Finn’s narration telling us that contrary to what Corporate - aka Delmara/ Aunt D, the owner of the place - tells the public, the mer they work with are very dangerous. which is proven by the fact that one of them killed Craig, one of the trainers, just the night prior. Which is why they are now preparing to euthanize it.

His friend Serge notices he’s nervous about it and tries to reassure him by telling him that Bismuth the mer (they name them after the elements of the periodic table) and his companions, the twins Fluorine and Chlorine, were already chilled. It doesn’t help much.

In his narration he says that six years have passed since humans have discovered merfolk, and in four of those years he’s been forced to kill six mers after they killed an equal number of his companions. Though in spite of his nervousness and current sadness for Craig, the fact that he can bring up the death of people he knew about so casually means that he’s pretty desensitized to it.

They both go to the room where their practice tank is stored and meet with two of their coworkers Madison and Natalie (Maddy is the only important one here, trust me). And since the mers have already been placed there, they get to work.

Btw all that i have summarized so far takes place within 8 paragraphs (one of which is just for one of the character´s dialogue), none of which give us a clear idea of how the characters or most of their surroundings look like.

And as expected, this chapter also shows us the mer for the first time, with barely, if any build up to their first appearance. And much like the humans, there are no noteworthy descriptions that could help us visualize how they look like save for specific details that apply to just one individual, with those being Bismuth’s dark green scales and the twins’ icy blue eyes and hair.

Speaking of the twins, apparently they are part of Oceanica’s second most famous show, and are only here to watch their companion die so they’ll be discouraged from misbehaving like he did. According to Finn that strategy worked on previous mers… although sometimes it just backfires completely.

As they prepare the net and electroshocker ™ (the process being described in just one paragraph btw), Finn says that euthanizing a mer isn’t easy since they are huge, they are many regulations with dealing with them and, according to him, they are the perfect predator… although there are no scenes in the story to support that idea, nor at the very least shows us why he has come to such conclusion.

Anyway, in the span of just four paragraphs that look more like a draft listing actions rather than a proper final scene, Serge electrocutes the trio, allowing the other three to trap Bismuth in a net and lift him from the water while his tank companions swim around and do nothing to help him.

And after snapping at Maddy for not moving with him by reminding her to pay attention or she’ll end up like her recently deceased companion — Finn injects Bismuth with a liquid that kills him instantly, which also causes him to dissolve into foam.

However, as he’s dissolving faster than my initial hopes for this book, one of the lines holding the nets unravels, and in the chaos Finn slips in a puddle of the mer’s remains , hits his knee, and falls into the tank with the twins. Like he deserves.

He tries to flee, but the mers hold him down with their claws. But instead of immediately going for that soft, vulnerable throat, Chlorine, this supposed “perfect predator”, just pierces his shoulders, giving Finn the opportunity to reach for her gills and fucking rip them off. And before her sister can retaliate, Serge electrocutes them both.

Unsurprisingly, this has consequences.

Finn ends up comatose for two days, and even though his mother is worried sick - since she has lost her husband who disappeared while in a trip to find the merfolk, and is justifyingly worried that her son also works with them - and the doctors told him to not swim while he still had the stitches from his shoulder wound, this guy insists on going out for a swim in a reef in spite of Serge’s protests.

Oh and he also says that “he can’t let his sister make fun of him for getting his ass kicked by girls.”

… oh and those living family members he has have almost no importance in the story. They are just. There.

As they are traveling in the fishing boat that used to belong to his dad, Finn asks Serge what became of the twins. And he casually, very casually, reveals that the stars of their second most popular show are now fucking dead.

There’s no talk about how the public is gonna react to this, nor how this very huge loss will affect their finances, not even if they held a funeral for their recently deceased coworker. Just that they gotta pull more mers out of the ocean to replace the twins and they’ll need a new trainer for them. Which Finn, in spite of his current medical orders, plans to become.

Though he does bristle at the memory of killing Chlorine… And also says that this isn’t the worst way in which he has killed a mer.

…WHAT-

Oh and also it’s revealed to us that Delmara used to be his father’s teaching assistant, and Finn has been working for her since he was fifteen years old after helping her document the existence of the first mer they’d found.

On their way, the pair come across a beach that has been vacated due to a recent mer attack the night prior. The reasons as to why it happened, nor the attack itself are ever explained or brought up again. Not even in the chapters with the mer pov, where we see where their kind - which should include the attacker - lives.

Finally they arrive on the reef, and as he swims through it, Finn muses that if the stories about people becoming mer were true, he’d stay in the water forever. But as it stands, working with them is the closest he’ll ever be to being a part of the ocean … even though he recently killed and constantly tortures the same creatures he says he wants to become.

#as you can see i got…. very passionate about this #and no just because the book is self published doesn’t mean it’s immune to criticism #mermaid books #booklr #books #mermaid book #an angry summary #speak the ocean #mermaid #merfolk #book review #kinda #book summary #that’s gonna be my tag for this #ma stuff

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agathasdefender · 3 months ago

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In Those Who Wake

Synopsis:

What if instead of following Rio back out of the spell, Agatha ran further into it? Rio has been chasing her shadow for three years, chasing her coat tails for longer than that, so what's a little further? How long is she willing to go?

Wordcount: 1221

Chapter 001/Chapter ???

Death sighed as she awoke on a park bench, the crisp autumn air pulling her from a deep slumber. The location was different today - a fact that was not surprising when she had pushed so hard the day before. A bird chirped idly on a branch nearby as Rio stretched her limbs, shaking out the teleportation that brought her here. The pull sat in her chest, telling her the direction that she needed to head in, but she would walk when she was ready. Her legs were still finding their bearing.

A man ran by, jumping when Rio hissed at him. Confused or frightened, he continued on his run a little faster. On her feet now, Rio exited the small park and down the simple street. Bookstores and brick and mortar businesses lined the cute little set up.

That line of buildings was where her chest was pulling her, each step feeling more right than the last. The road was clear of people, only a taxi that drove down the main drive. Its license plate said “Live Free Or Die” and Rio huffed at the irony there. Westview.

The pull was leading her to a coffee shop and Rio did not roll her eyes at the name. Witch’s Brew in large letters painted on the window, cartoon cauldron and all. She did smile. She could give herself a smile. Seeing her reflection in the glass, she let it fall. The door jingled as it opened, and she walked up to the counter. She wasn’t waiting for her there, so Rio just ordered a black coffee and walked around to the sitting area.

Witch’s Brew was surprisingly busy for this early in the morning, seeing as the sun had only just started to crest over the horizon. Looking around, Rio found her. Dark curtain of hair, a small smile on her lips as she sat in the back corner, and Rio approached without hesitation.

“Anyone sitting here?” Agatha looked at her from over the black bound book she was reading and Rio didn’t let herself buckle under the gaze of the woman that wouldn��t dare love her back. Agatha was too much herself in this timeline, burying herself in this coffee shop so that she could ignore the body that followed her. Rio motioned with the charger in her hand towards the plug beside Agatha. “It’s the only one not taken and I’m pretty low on juice.”

“No, it’s open.” She said these words and then went back to her book, Rio going through the motions of plugging in her nondescript phone. She let the air between them sit for a few moments, her swiping through her home screens and Agatha reading the same paragraph over and over again. Eventually, Rio took it upon herself to break the silence.

“What are you reading?” Rio asked, pulling a cube of cheese from her sweater pocket and popping into her mouth.

“Oh this old thing?” Agatha laughed and closed the book, not answering the question. Instead she stuck it into her bag and changed the subject. “Did you hear about the body they found?”

“Oh no, a body.” Rio was feigning interest, but it was genuine enough for Agatha’s weaker form to continue talking. It was like playing with a child, too easily pulled in whatever direction Rio wanted her in. Any direction but out. “I didn’t hear about it, yeah. What body?” She knew the questions to ask at this point, but even Death could grow tired.

“They found it in the woods over by Glenburny.” Agatha went on to tell her too much about the case for someone not inside it to know, but Rio could let her take up her space. At the end, Rio nodded along until she found space enough to interject her thoughts into the dialogue.

“How’d she die?”

“What?”

“How’d she die? Kick the can, so to speak?” Rio popped another cheese cube into her mouth, bobbing her eyebrows in time with the second question.

“That’s the thing that no one can figure out.” Agatha said, shaking her head in that distant way that was getting too familiar. “I’ve heard some rumors, and I’ve connected a few of the dots, but nothing substantial.”

“Becoming a bit of a private eye aren’t you? Once the detective thing didn’t work out?”

“What detective thing?” Agatha’s eyebrows knitted in genuine confusion and Rio didn’t allow herself to flinch. She smiled, letting the confusion fall away to quizzical. “And what’s with the cheese?” Rio had eaten another cube, not paying much attention to her own snacking.

“Can’t a girl feel a little peckish?”

“Yeah, I guess, but why is it just in your pocket?”

“Aggie, sweetheart, we both know none of this is real.” Rio’s voice was kind, almost playful, but her eyes spoke of a tired soul that wanted to do nothing more than take her wife home. Estranged or not, Agatha needed out of this hell of her own creation. Agatha’s eyes sharpened and then dulled and the woman shook her head.

“Why are you here?”

“A good cup of coffee.” Rio tried a smile but ended it with a sigh, folding quickly under the look Agatha was giving her. Setting the coffee cup back onto its saucer, Rio nodded to herself and then spoke. “For you.”

“Please, leave.” It was a plea, a broken record of a sound that she didn’t want to hear any longer. “I don’t want you here.”

“I can’t leave you.” An unspoken Again. Rio was pushing too far even if she didn’t want to wake up somewhere different tomorrow. She wanted today to be the last day of this shit, but she had a feeling that she wasn’t going to be getting her way. “I just.” A pause, Rio sucking her teeth before continuing in a soft yet clipped tone. “Agatha. Come home.”

“Agatha? Talking a big game for someone that doesn’t even know my name.”

“You’re so much more than this.” A bloody sacrifice of a few virgins would be less painful than this one sided conversation, each word pulling another string free from the tapestry that had become of her sanity.

“You don’t know me.” Agatha spoke words that were supposed to mean something and Rio couldn’t help the high pitched cackle of a laugh that bubbled from within her chest.

“Babe, I know you better than you know yourself.” It struck a chord that Rio hadn’t known existed, but it was too late. She watched as the mask slid back into place.

“Get out of my shop.” Agatha was standing now and Rio sighed, pushing her chair back and grabbing her coat from the back of it. Shrugging it on, she smiled a sad knowing smile at the spellbound witch.

“It’s going to be somewhere different again tomorrow, isn’t it?” No response as Rio exited the establishment. Agatha followed almost all the way to the door, stopping by the counter where all conversation had stopped. The onlookers didn’t look at them, but it was evident that their play was important. Any other conversation that dared to still exist in the same space was whispered stage directions.

Once past the threshold, Rio stuck her head back through the doorway, meeting her wife’s eyes and offering a soft yet audible “Te veo.”

#agatha all along #agatha harkness #rio vidal #agathario #agatha all along fanfiction #agatha all along fanfic #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #agathario fanfic

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literallys-illiteracy · 2 months ago

Text

The floor of language:

Did you expect this to be the scheduled essay that got expedited?

On another note, thank you to goat boy Cinna Faun who requested "something Little red (mercenary) related", which caused me to end up finishing this, and also planning a new entirely separate essay which i will explain in a separate post probably It is also interesting to note that, as he has not finished Ruina, he probably should't be reading past the... first(?) section.

and because i care, SPOILERS FOR LIBRARY OF RUINA, INCLUDING TRUE ENDING WHEN MARKED

Desires, Mindless drive, and Inner Nature:

Due to the nature of abnormalities manifesting, the themes of desire are unsurprising, however the abnormalities on this floor are more directly tied to the lens of a bestial, innate desire. The bloodlust inherent to these creatures, being consumed by these desires, losing ones outer mask, showing their bestial urges:

The story of the Riding Hood and the Wolf is one intertwined, paralleling the fairytale of little red riding hood; yet beyond the ending, Red continues to hunt the big bad wolf.

The primary divergence from the original fairy tale comes in the attitude of Red herself, acknowledging the endless cycle that the two share, yet still seeking the day which she can hang the wolf’s head up to rest; Little Red Mercenary is a person who, through being raised in the bloodshed, become desensitised to it, having the hunt be her every waking hour, endlessly seeking to bring an end to the wolf, so she may continue the hunt unimpeded.

The Big and “will be” bad wolf serves as not only the Wolf of the riding hood tale, but also as that from the three little pigs, and likely endless other tales passed over time; The Wolf in these tales never had a name, was never a character in the same way that the pigs or little red was, it was simply the big evil wolf, so everyone called it, so naturally it must be true.

The Wolf embodies ones bestial nature, despite how it may have wanted to be, what its nature could have been, it always was, and always will be, the evil wolf of the tale;

The Big Bad Wolf poses the question of one's nature, with the one of the wolf being largely defined, a flesh hungry beast, yet, through its dialogue we see it regretting its actions, trying to protect others from itself, yet in time, giving into its hunger, its base instinct that, if it were to fill its stomach, it would be happy.

I'll be honest i try to extend the themes when i can, with the semi poetic - video essay-esque way that i write, but really with Mountain of Smiling Bodies there is next to nothing to discuss, it's a big heap of corpses who wants to make you part of the big pile of corpses that is itself. All that's left is a mindless amalgamation of flesh and viscera, endlessly driven forward by bloodlust, by its desire to make others the same way that it is. I'm moving on now, I don't respect this abnormality enough to give it multiple paragraphs.

Unsurprisingly, on the floor that embodies desire in the form of bloodlust, the vampire is not an exception.

Despite not having lore page to draw from like the past 3, I actually have some things to say about Nosferatu.

So first of all, the quite literal bloodthirsty nature of the abnormality, wearing the facade of humanity only to hold back its thirst; transforming it abandons the pretence of humanity in order to quench its thirst, which reveals its nature as a rampaging beast, the madness of the thirst overtaking it.

The second thing of note is the effect “Fear of Water”, which i believe has two possible inspirations behind it, the first of which (and the more likely) being of vampire lore, where vampires are unable to cross running water, and die if submerged in it (i think, i've not read up on vampires too much). The second is simultaneously more and less esoteric, as it links less to the direct lore of vampires, but rather to the thematics of losing oneself to bloodlust. I am, of course, referring to Rabies, who’s patients experience a strong aversion to water, which inhibits the virus’s ability to spread throughout your body.

Thematically the concept of Rabies is in line with Nosferatu, with the Abnormality page sharing the name of its passive, describing the mindlessness in searching and feeding, losing oneself and losing their sight of purpose.

I never actually made the potential connection between those two before, the comparison is interesting but i'm not sure if it goes anywhere.

The Abnormality named “Nothing There” is a creature with a singular goal in mind, to become a “human”, to look like, act like, and in the end, “Become” one of us.

Akin to the Mountain of Smiling Bodies, Nothing There can be thought of as an amalgamation of humanity, the outer shells being worn, making up its whole, a monster wearing the shape of, trying to fool you into thinking it is, a human.

It goes further than the mimicking of our appearance, it also repeats phrases it has heard “Hello”, “Goodbye”, “i love you” and “Manager”.

Nothing there is best described as a doppelganger, a creature which imitates humans, attempting to disguise itself in order to get closer to us.

There is also a possibility that this Abnormality is based on the creature from the movie “The Thing”

Floor realisation links:

The most obvious connection between Roland and this floor would be that of bloodlust — His blind rampage across the city, killing indiscriminately in an attempt to avenge Angelica.

"The first and last request I do for myself…"

The first Abnormality which Roland resonates with is that of the mercenary, a fitting choice given his past career as a fixer being best described as a “Mercenary” of sorts. The red hood mirrors Roland, being haunted by a beast of the past, never calm, never at rest, until they are able to slay their wolf — Both mercenaries seek the blood of their wolves, each beast having their own story, their own reasons for acting-

“SHUT UP!!! You want to hear the excuses of those wolves after all that’s happened?"

-neither mercenary caring, only looking to end their nightmare, to finally be at rest “In the affliction of these terrible dreams that shake us nightly: better be with the dead”.

Likewise to the Riding Hood, Roland sought out the one beast which had haunted him, the source of the distortion, whom he thought to be Angela — Angela, who had her own sorrows, acted as Roland’s wolf. Though she had suffered the same, if not more, than Roland had in the past, he viewed it as separate, after all…

“That's That, and This is This”

Roland next embraces the EGO of the “Will be” big and bad wolf — Though he has due cause, his own reasons, though he has suffered the same, if not more, than the city folk in the past, he was viewed as a mindless beast.

Like Crimson Scar (Red Hood), Cobalt Scar (anyone else remember when this was just called blue scar?) reflects Roland’s drive for peace, for contentment. Through Roland’s rampage, he only wished to fill the hole within him, the piece of himself whom was by the distortion stolen, to fill this hole with his vengeance, the blood of others. Who would have thought the woman to have so much blood in the end. (I apologise I am re-reading Macbeth and these references keep happening subconsciously).

Oddly Enough the secondary thematic contained within this phase is more akin to one of Chesed’s theme, alongside that of Yan, and the city at large:

“All humans grow into brutal beings. Why would I be different?"

Roland’s belief is one of nihilism (the fucking clown is back), that the city is a construct which grinds those within down to a cohesive — That all those within the city are the same in the end, that good people cannot survive in the city, Angelica acted as his proof of that.

"I won’t remember your faces… But you will remember mine…"

The Mountain of smiling corpses is as simple thematically as it is to suppress, the amalgamation of all those that roland has killed in the rampage, all those that had their own lives, all those lives he cut short, formed together, smiling, facing him, nothing more than a collective.

The Mountain is the memories of all those he killed in the slaughter, the blind rampage, all those whose faces he cannot remember, all smiling, taunting him.

The alternative lens to view this abnormality though is that of Roland being the mountain itself, fulfilling the same role as the wolf to come, simply a heap of flesh, searching out more to join it.

"Be honest with myself. Was it for revenge? Wasn’t I merely thirsty?"

Here we have roland’s acknowledgement of his myopic rage in the rampage, never thinking ahead, not seeing a reason to continue living, he simply thirsted for blood, for his primal urges to be released — He planned for, as he puts it:

A night when one is allowed to pursue all kinds of desire… A neverending, blood-red night."

(Of course referencing the star of the city, Blood Red Night, also known as Elena, whom had been defeated by Roland and Angelica in the past)

Just like the bloodfiend he takes the form of, just like the bloodfiend he slew all those years ago, Just like a mindless beast.

The only thing to note here is the name of the EGO he takes on: Dipsia, being a suffix used to mean “Thirst” — Presumably this is simply the name of nosferatu’s EGO in itself, but I thought I would mention this detail.

"The reason I exist…? I’m not even sure anymore."

The final form taken is that of a husk, the purposeless, meaningless Roland, with no desire to continue living, wears the shell of nothing there, the pretence of humanity used to gain his way closer to others, only living to kill, living by way of rote instinct.

Roland is hollow, empty, losing what made him human, simply a monster wearing the shell of one.

The Courage to Protect:

The story of the red mist is one that precedes most other sephirot in the game; Kali, the legendary colour fixer, “The Strongest”, and the first to join Carmen’s entourage (other than A/B).

* This section contains true ending spoilers * * Also Lobotomy Corporation spoilers * *I mean its expected that you've finished the game to be reading a 3000 word analysis post about it but still *

Hailing from the backstreets of district 23, Kali was an orphan child who learned to survive on her own, her oldest memories being when she was seven, surrounded by viscera in an open alleyway. Becoming a fixer at 20, the child was able to live a stable life, giving money to those who helped her survive, and vowing to use her newfound power as a fixer to protect them — Kali found her hands and legs bound in bed, her neighbours sprawling through her apartment searching for any money they could find.

Disillusioned, the child killed these intruders, these neighbours who she had done nothing but protect; Kali realised that these people were no different from the syndicates, seeking power to use against those beneath them, a natural cycle of humanity.

Kali, too, had undergone the role of the beast and hunter throughout her lives. In the beginning she was akin to the riding hood, chasing an ephemeral beast, the only thing that stops her from sleeping at night, the evil of humanity – In truth, it was when she was sleeping at night that the beast struck her, when she became disillusioned, began to see the nature of human minds, it was then that she, momentarily, lost her way.

In this exact manner, Gebura mirrors Roland’s past, and Roland her’s; the life of a fixer, though originally a life one could enter wholeheartedly, is one that reveals the underbelly of humanity, the grievous festering wounds of the city, and the rot that infects every mind within – Roland, too, once lost his way, though being a powerful fixer, leading a grade one office before he had achieved this rank himself, he slowly degraded into the mask he wore.

I am aware that I have written about Roland alongside the mask of the persona like… thrice already? At the same time it is really important to state that this psychological overtone within these games’ stories is not one that is being added arbitrarily, and are key to understanding the fundamental themes of human identity within. O’er these characters, neath the worldbuilding, lays a story that is beyond the game, a story of humanity and growth. I have a mutual, @jugendraws whom has said to have a script akin to my own, which covers these same kinds of themes, and I implore you if you like reading these at all, that you should keep an eye out for theirs.

Tangent over

Like Roland, Kali’s emergence from this shell, from their mask of a stoic fixer, came forth from meaning delivered by an angelic woman. Angelica. Carmen. Though the stories are not perfect analogues, they each mirror another so forth that Roland cannot deny his similarity to Gebura’s past – Gebura even shared in his mindless rampage, also following in the death of her loved, ‘the return of the red mist’ in lobotomy Corporation, but where Gebura realised, remembered her past, the reason for her strength, she ended in this.

Roland, too, ends in the same realisation, protecting those who dare to dream, who sought to live, who wished for paradise, defending Angela from the Reverberation’s ensemble, before making a final decision found through his past realisations, and saving Angela from disappearing.

Uuh also something thighs, ok.

There is also something interesting to note about Geburah herself, so let's do that:

Kabbalah:

So, while I am not an expert on this topic, nor jewish myself, I wanted to note something that I found interesting correlating between Gevurah’s representation in Lobotomy Corporation and in the tree of life.

Gevurah, being adjacent to Tifres and across from Hesed, is a word meaning “strength”. The sephira herself is representative of a loving protection, being the love that comes from limitation.

This correlates, as mentioned before, with Project Moon’s Gebura through her desires to protect Carmen, using her strength to show love to others.

This concept is parallelled in more ways than this however, as the method which the aspect Gevurah shows kindness is that of channelling the Ohr Ein Sof (infinite light), and ensuring that all creations are able to receive this light according to their limitations – the show of affection through limitation, and understanding of another – this may be represented, in a anthropomorphised form, as the ways that we show our care for others, using our various strengths and understanding of others, alongside our dedication, which in its own is a form of strength, to show affection and love.

Gebura, in her Lobotomy Corporation story, shows these traits quite explicitly, being the first to channel the light and manifest EGO, for the purpose of protecting those that she cares of; Gebura’s brutality regarding the abnormalities can be interpreted as her understanding employee’s limitations, wishing to protect them from the unbridled light, or humanity, of the abnormalities.

Departing from the Kabbalah, which I am far from qualified to talk in depth on, we will now be featuring a surprise guest, on a topic I am somewhat more familiar with.

Her:

This section stemmed forth from my wondering of how Carmen relates to the above passage, as despite my obsession with the pretty distortion lady, I had yet to look into any religious or biblical roots regarding her character.

Carmen is a name with two distinct origins, Latin and Hebrew.

In Latin, from the word Carmen meaning song, and being the root of the word “charm” (which is extremely accurate to Carmen LC considering she is extremely charming) (also there's probably some correlation to song and her radiant voice but i’d rather just obsess over her for a bit).

In Hebrew, from the mountain Carmel, which is translated roughly into “Vineyard of God”, and is the namesake of the Mendicant order of the Carmelites, alongside a settlement mentioned in the bible.

It is also important to note that the name Carmen has become innocuous with that of Mary, Mother of Jesus, due to the aforementioned order, once again11 linking Carmen to abrahamic religious themes.

The settlement of Carmel itself was important on its own due to it containing a natural spring of water, which then man made pools were constructed near to collect from; Carmen herself sought after the “river” of humanity within Lobotomy Corporation, and prior connotations with her names significance in Catholicism make a compelling argument for her entourage being figurative of the Carmelites, woking in poverty for the betterment of the world.

(as an additional note, the Carmelites claim ‘Elijah’ to be their order’s spiritual father, or their beginning of sorts, in the same manner that Elijah is the first researcher to die, and the first of their group we learn the real name of, our beginning of sorts).

(also i don't know if this is intentional, as like 90% of what i say about anything is conjecture). This is rather short as I am likely a decade away from finishing a Carmen essay proper due to the fact that she is the root of every game’s story, and something something 10 years of Limbus Company. Also I'm a needless perfectionist pedant who thinks that it's impossible for me to create something that does justice to the concepts.

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