#and this one was so stressful bc like
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mishkakagehishka · 2 years ago
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Me when i dream of lil Mika but it's another nightmare
#and this one was so stressful bc like#i dreamt he was indeed my s/o but he was so controlling#like i was so stressed out felt like a trapped deer trying to gather a support circle so i can get away from him and he just kept ruining it#all for me. fucker learnt my native lang just so he could monitor my conversation with my family🤕#at one point he made me agree to marry him and dream me did just bc she was absolutely terrified of him????#girl just beat his ass ?????????#but like jokes aside i'm still in that ''just woke up from a nightmare'' mood so i still feel the adrenaline so i still get#why he was so scary like. i didn't know he knew my lang until he threatened me and told me i'm not allowed to speak to#my family anymore (bc i tried to get my dad to help me) and he was very. pushy with se.xual stuff#which like here's a fun fact but i'm a hypochondriac and i find it very hard to bond with people so i just kinda#accepted that i'm waiting for marriage (which is easier to explain than ''i need to REALLY trust you'' and agreeing to marriage is on that#level anyway) so when i TRIED to get him to stop by telling him i don't want to before i have a ring it did fuck-all to stop a guy#who was just like ''well we ARE getting married so what's the problem''😔😔😔😔#i woke up before he did anything tho which i'm thankful for bc every time i dream of being sa'd it feels like it reopens old woundd#and it takes me a while to actually calm down from it#i will say tho. it's a vibe to dream of thingd you consider hot in concept but terrifying irl (controlling/abusive men <3)#bc like you know in-dream it FEELS like it's real life i really didn't care that it was Mika and he's not real it was reality for me#and so it was terrifying i was crying every time i'd get a hope of getting away from him he'd ruin it for me very swiftly etc etc#like i'm still stressed out. but. the concept? like now that i know i'm safe and none of that was real? i just think o-kayyyyyyyyy#lmfjsjsnmemdksks i'm hopeless. but not really! confirmation i'm actually normal just like certain things from the safety of fantasy
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paracosmicka · 5 months ago
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have doodle lol
functionally, i am alive, emotionally?? idk about that work has me crying almost everyday now chat idk if i can do this anymore
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wanologic · 9 months ago
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always good to keep a screamhole handy
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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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yuwuta · 10 months ago
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olympics coming up…… athlete aus on the mind….. satoru as a swimmer….. unreasonably large wingspan…. huge hands..... thinks “official” competitions and tournaments are boring because he can’t use the goofy purple googly eyes goggles he likes to practice in…… practices at ungodly hours solely because he likes when the pool is empty because that means you’ll dip your feet in at the edge and be there to greet him with a kiss when he’s finished his laps….. they bring up the stats board and it’s just his name ten times before the next fastest person and he could still lap them, and even tho he’ll always put so much pressure on himself to be the best, it’s worth it to have you hold his face and tell him you’re proud of him... he’s gotten so much merch from events and sponsorships and he used to think they just created clutter but that all changes when you start to wear his clothes (esp the ones with his name on it… he’s not proud to admit that does Something to him)…. always looks up to the stands when he finishes a race and if he knows you’re not there, he looks right at the camera, draws an infinity sign with his fingers, and blows a kiss (which, some commentators routinely call “unsportsmanlike conduct” but he doesn’t care, and always, publicly says he’ll pay the fees if it means blowing a kiss to his girl at home)
#satoru w/ wet hair coming out of the pool......... GOD .#he could be a professional swimmer and he still gets in the bathtub and is like babe look I'm a mermaid like yeah dude.. u might be#he's so k/atie l/edecky coded... they bring up the world stats and his name name 24 times before the next fastest time#like wdym you're faster than yourself 23 times before somebody else is next in line.........#he also gets brand sponsorships and is on set for photoshoots/campaigns and he's always like wait can I have one these for my gf#and the crew thinks its so sweet they give him 10 extra#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#jjk smut#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru smut#gojo satoru x reader#satoru x reader#hm.... nanami? idk where tho... maybe judo I think that's an olympic sport#salaryman to gold medalist lore goes crazy omg#he started bc he was stressed at work at some random gym and the coach there was like hold on... and now he's a gold medalist#yuuta does something kinda nerdy looking like the javelin but he's weirdly good at it LOLLLL#OR TENNIS!#megumi I HAVE to push my archery agenda#but like. toji/gojo definitely caught him throwing rocks or something as a kid and being emo#and they were like wait you've got good aim ... kinda scary#and now he's at the olympics... wild#whatever the case is yuuji didn't Actually want to play a sport#yuuji in track and field... honestly maybe even gymnastics... NO! I GOT IT! VOLLEYBALL!.... maybe...#but it turned out to be a way to make steady money to support his grandpa#and then it just.. spiraled into him getting scouted and then training and now he's a world champion :((((#💌#olympics au
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littlecrittereli · 1 year ago
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just one of those days man...
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THIS IS SO LOW QUALITY HELP LOL
ignore that I can't draw very well rn I'm very focused on school so not much time to doodle
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kit-screams-into-the-future · 5 months ago
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was having trans marty thoughts again and i came to a realization about this scene
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#back to the future#bttf#bttf fanart#marty mcfly#lorraine baines#lorraine mcfly#kit does an art#drew this one a while back and was hoping to save it until i compiled enough doodles in the same genre#but i like it better as a standalone picture bc it's funny so. here you go#poor marty he had so much going on in this scene alone#and if you think about him being trans it just adds another layer to that#1. just woke up from getting hit by a car#2. realized he wasn't dreaming and he definitely is in the past#3. that's his mom. in the past#4. his mom is HOT in the past. wasn't she born a nun or something this is wrong and terrible and he hates everything about this realization#5. where are his pants. why does he have no pants where are his pants. they're halfway across the room??? why are they over there#6. HIS MOM IS HITTING ON HIM???? his mom who is objectively hot in the past is hitting on him and he's in her bed with no pants on and ohhh#oh god. she took off his pants. to look at his underwear. and guys usually have something noticeably under the wear don't they. oh shit#7. SHE TOTALLY NOTICED. SHE'S GONNA ASK AND HE'S GONNA HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT AND IT'S GOING TO BE SO AWKWARD AND BAD#8. there's no way someone in the 50s is gonna get it she's either going to think he's a girl (problem 6 is taken care of but replaced with#perhaps an equally uncomfortable experience) or like. they're going to stone him or something he doesn't know how they react to this stuff#in the 50s#luckily for marty the last 2 problems never happen but that still would've been a very stressful minute just thinking about it#she was so perplexed by the purple underwear ig she just didn't notice haha.#kit yap session#for the tags. as usual
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steelandmayhem · 1 month ago
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The other day, I saw a non-fandom text post along the lines of:
“What we had was so special you’ll look for me in every new person” (sorry I haven’t been able to find it again)
And I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.
Because to me this perfectly describes Durgetash + romancing your companions.
I can’t help thinking about amnesiac Durge missing something, always searching, but can’t remember what.
They find echoes of it in Gale’s intelligence, his enthusiasm and knowledge when he speaks about magic. And yet, it doesn’t fit entirely.
They find it in Lae’zel’s easy superiority, her ruthlessness and determination. And yet, it’s not quite enough.
They find it in Astarion’s deception and easy charm, the way he manipulates a situation to his advantage, the way he doesn’t need magic to have people literally bare their necks to him.
They find it in Shadowheart’s snark, her secrecy, her dark goddess. They find it in Karlach’s rage (though she burns hot instead of cold which is odd..), in the smell of sulphur and hellfire that clings to her. They especially find it in her mechanical heart, that makes them want to reach out, bury their hands in it, just to see if it feels as familiar as it seems. If maybe owning her heart will fill the hole in their memories, their chest even.
And yet, surprisingly, they find it in Wyll’s pact, Wyll’s past, but also Wyll’s manners and they way he dances, his stories, that make them feel closer to a city they don’t much care about otherwise.
They find it in the deep possessiveness, maybe even hatred, when Raphael first comes to camp.
And yet none of it is enough, none of it fits quite right, and while maybe eventually they manage to look past that familiar feeling and find new things to admire about their chosen partner…deep in their heart they know.
In the end, they’ll always look for something none of them can give them.
Not until they first encounter that handsome young man with an easy smile, and all the jagged broken edges click together like horrible little puzzle pieces.
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wardingshout · 3 months ago
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revstar tegakis
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biruesque · 11 months ago
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one of ariane's many attempts at cheering elster up when her health started to decline
check out this this dub done by @voicequills also!!! (her voice acting skills r so good i will cherish this forever)
youtube
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arschbiene · 5 months ago
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congrats on getting your other blog back!
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Thank you, Anon! I felt like a baby without a bottle but on the bright side, I got inspired so here ya go
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lazy-b1rdy · 1 year ago
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Stan n' Nar
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oh wow i finally finished it!!!11!!!1
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first version's under the cut
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shadyhouse · 6 months ago
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if anyone is able to help me out i'd appreciate it, im still broke as hell. this month has been really difficult for me. i worked a total of 5 days all month and my bank account is in the negatives again after paying bills and getting some living essentials. i dont know how im going to pay my rent like this. i applied to a financial relief fund from a local trans advocacy group but it's going to be a few weeks until anything comes from that. if you have literally anything to spare it would help me out a lot 😭���� i feel bad ive been asking for help so often and i know everyone is struggling, im working on getting my life back in order but everything fucking sucks and is difficult right now :( even just spreading this is a huge help
pp: paypal.me/bewearrr vnm: tobias_leviathan
thank you 💕💕
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star-scroll · 7 months ago
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Ectoberhaunt Day 13
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Isekai: Old Hero New World
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bacchuschucklefuck · 1 year ago
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okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
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ryllen · 10 months ago
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something i promised on my kofi 6 months ago... 🫠
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