steelandmayhem

[steelandmayhem]

They saw you across the party and dig your vibe

DC to survive is 30

[steelandmayhem]

The other day, I saw a non-fandom text post along the lines of:

“What we had was so special you’ll look for me in every new person” (sorry I haven’t been able to find it again)

And I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

Because to me this perfectly describes Durgetash + romancing your companions.

I can’t help thinking about amnesiac Durge missing something, always searching, but can’t remember what.

They find echoes of it in Gale’s intelligence, his enthusiasm and knowledge when he speaks about magic. And yet, it doesn’t fit entirely.

They find it in Lae’zel’s easy superiority, her ruthlessness and determination. And yet, it’s not quite enough.

They find it in Astarion’s deception and easy charm, the way he manipulates a situation to his advantage, the way he doesn’t need magic to have people literally bare their necks to him.

They find it in Shadowheart’s snark, her secrecy, her dark goddess. They find it in Karlach’s rage (though she burns hot instead of cold which is odd..), in the smell of sulphur and hellfire that clings to her. They especially find it in her mechanical heart, that makes them want to reach out, bury their hands in it, just to see if it feels as familiar as it seems. If maybe owning her heart will fill the hole in their memories, their chest even.

And yet, surprisingly, they find it in Wyll’s pact, Wyll’s past, but also Wyll’s manners and they way he dances, his stories, that make them feel closer to a city they don’t much care about otherwise.

They find it in the deep possessiveness, maybe even hatred, when Raphael first comes to camp.

And yet none of it is enough, none of it fits quite right, and while maybe eventually they manage to look past that familiar feeling and find new things to admire about their chosen partner…deep in their heart they know.

In the end, they’ll always look for something none of them can give them.

Not until they first encounter that handsome young man with an easy smile, and all the jagged broken edges click together like horrible little puzzle pieces.

[steelandmayhem]

Thinking once again about Durgetash and the concept of servitude.

About how Durge was made for servitude. Their whole purpose was to do Bhaal‘s will, to let Bhaal act through them, to worship in total obedience. And they *did* for a long time. For them, servitude was (un)holy, it was admirable because it meant serving a greater purpose (bringing upon the end of all things).

And how Gortash on the other hand spent his entire life fighting against authority so he won’t have to serve *anyone*. First his parents, then the house of Hope, then the city… climbing literally out of hell and up those climbing social ladders until the only one he serves is the one who helps him to the top. And only as long as it fits him- considering he was fully willing to share his throne with Durge, something that - as many have pointed out - is very much against Bane’s whole thing and could be considered disobedience once again.

And I’m thinking again about how Gortash calls Durge *his* assassin in the same conversation he calls him his *equal* and…

There’s something beautiful about the thought of Durge, who was born to serve One, straying from that to instead rule with another - a blade who chooses their own wielder - and Gortash, who refused to serve and instead fought his way to the top, who saw himself as above all others, at the height of his power stepping aside to lift someone to his same level.

I can’t help but look at them, look at all their narrative foils and dichotomies and similarities, and think that there was never any other choice but each other, in whatever capacity people headcanon.

There really is no one who does it like them.

[steelandmayhem]

Just had to block a weird amount of terfs so uh yeah fuck you this blog is not for you

[steelandmayhem]

Okay here’s a thought I’ve been kicking around- do you think Ketheric ever gives Durge/Gortash relationship advice?? Like yeah they’re gross and horrible and he kind of hates them, but they also genuinely like each other, and Ketheric understands the value in that kind of a bond

And I’m kind of obsessed with the thought of him just quietly giving them occasional advice when they’re fighting, and they usually refute wanting/needing his help with the matter, but it’s genuinely good advice that does help whenever they actually follow it

[steelandmayhem]

I love little chibi kisses so you should draw Strike and Gortash smoochin'

Also murder but make it tiny and cute! Yippee!

Smoochin! The murder part is that they're also killing Ketheric's last remaining will to live

[steelandmayhem]

Just sitting here thinking about how bold and insulting it should be for Gortash to call the child of a quasi-deity his equal.

Did he do that pre-tadpole, too?

What would durge have thought of that, I wonder.

[steelandmayhem]

Cuck Chair Gortash!

He's there for his own safety since he's too mortal for what Durge and Ketheric consider sex

[steelandmayhem]

How long do you think it took Ketheric to figure out he was a third wheel?

aka peepaw not properly warned of what immortality was going to look like

(click for better quality)

[steelandmayhem]

Starting off strong holy shit

[steelandmayhem]

Enver Gortash from Baldurs Gate 3? Thank you!

Today, Jesus is holding:

Enver Gortash from Baldurs Gate 3

[steelandmayhem]

Ketheric's least favorite business partner and all the ways in which he can still perplex him

[steelandmayhem]

what if we explored each other’s bodies [not sex] [i open your ribcage up and start messing around in that thang]

[steelandmayhem]

Almost a year old and has been abandoned due to me not knowing how to make animatics yet, but! I like their lil spin :)

[steelandmayhem]

I believe all durges are valid because I believe there’s nothing Gortash would not fuck.

[steelandmayhem]

Todays thought that made me smile is imagining gortash with motion sickness

[steelandmayhem]

I am a left handed gortash truther. And while for the most part, who gives a shit, I still think there would be little quirks that would have come with it for him;

- if he was taught to write pre HoH, it was probably by someone right handed. There is a likelihood his writing was initially ‘wrong’ in some way and while his parents definitely didn’t care about him receiving an education, I also wouldn’t be surprised if it would have been something they would have given him shit for (it’s backwards, it’s slanted too much, it doesn’t follow examples properly, you’ll never have anything legible, you stupid boy)

- to continue from that, since in-game describes his handwriting as being precise and neat, he could have practised really hard to get good handwriting just as an additional way to prove them wrong

- going to Moonrise or anywhere else to use their Evil Laboratory and finding he can’t use a lot of the tools because they’re not made for lefties. Ergo, he either makes or commissions his own tools. It means that just about everything in that little lab bit under Moonrise can only be used by him. Not an intentional way to be petty about his spaces, but he isn’t unhappy about it

- wet ink + left handed are a terrible mix. his hand is permanently stained and he goes through a lot of parchment.

- whenever him and durge are conducting experiments together, there is probably some type of petty little argument for how the workbench should be set up (organising left-right/right-left). the end result is that shit gets so muddled and messy by the time they’re done furiously working on their experiment that it doesn’t matter anyway