#and this has been all I've thought about
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Need a red notice au with Odysseus, Diomedes, and Penelope
#they need to all get together by the end tho#Odysseus and Nolan are both just to wet cat coded it's perfect#Need some Odypen rivals to lovers#need them to hate but lowkey admire each other#and then kiss about it#red notice#odysseus#diomedes#penelope of ithaca#they're my favorite poly#odypen#odypendio#just finished reading Concealed Behind Pride by mircsy#and this has been all I've thought about
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3 years of this godforsaken show
#murder drones has genuinely shaped me so much#drawing stuff from it has been one of my greatest motivators to learn more art stuff#i've been able to iron out my interests and sense of humor due to it#i've corrupted the sekaiju discord with it#much to half the servers dismay#ive grown so attached to these characters. it was heartbreaking to see them go those months ago#who knows where i would have been without this show entering my life#wouldn't have obtained this audience without it. i owe you all that#i messed up the perspective in that one spot im posting this before i can get more upset about it#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones v#murder drones n#serial designation v#serial designation n#murder drones j#serial designation j#a little bonus i thought of while sketching out the og poses#Tessa would've loved this.
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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Problems guy part 200
#hoof draws#hoofology#sorry for all the weird vent comics lately i've been going thru it#i think i also only recently thought to think about my childhood at all and realize most of it was really fucked up#kid who has to be ready to talk their parent down from the ledge at all times --> emotionally crippled adult who hates life pipeline#the colors in this are fucking wack !!
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Wow. That could not have turned out worse.
Part 23 || First || Previous || Next
--Full Series--
This comic will be on Holiday Hiatus this December and January! While on a cliffhanger? What a scam! >:/
#Chara finally realizes something is wrong....very wrong#And you get to see little Chara for all of 2 drawings. wow. You guys are so spoiled uwu#Asriel and Chara bbfs#finally out of that darn tootin' Darkworld! WE'VE BEEN THERE FOR 2 YEARS!!!#LORE TIME LORE TIME. I know Chara is very vague about it but player-human relationships are very personal.#it can be hard to talk about them if you've been possessed yourself. especially with some stigmas around it#chara just wanted a glass of water. why you gotta do this to em#I am so so so happy to get here#the full excitement has faded since I first thought up this scene but It's still one hell of an accomplishment#YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA how many times I reworked this and how many rough drafts I've thrown out the window because of it.#tbh. I may post the 10+ rough pages that will never see the light of day#Im glad I didnt go through with that scrapped plot bc It was too many unneeded pages. I've learned to start condensing in a better way#I am also planning on showing off my Patreon soon :) so I'll be posting complete scrapped story lines over there#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune#utdr#deltarune chara timeline comic#art#my art#bread#chara#asriel#saloon darkworld#darkworld#deltarune au#college chara#college asriel
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AUGH I’d love to see more time looping odile if possible,,,,, how do you think she’d like; “devolve” over each of the acts as compared to Siffrin over time :O
ok im gonna be honest i did like portrait edits months ago and just never finished them. so here you go
act 3:
act 5:
#some of them are still missing... I'll edit this post if I finish them as well#isat#isat spoilers#odile loops au#day 108#isat odile#i'm too lazy to individually export them in transparent atm...#tell me if yall ever need it#edit: I FORGOT TO ANSWER THE QUESTION#I mean yeah technically the portraits work but I do have Thoughts about this#I just think that throughout the loops odile becomes more. annoyed. and irritated#Like by act 3 fighting isn't really amusing anymore#dying/getting frozen is. ah. welp#But by act 5 she's just speedrunning#Just super irritated. like die already i've got variables to test#act 3 frozen is a momentary rest; the break is nice and she knows she can get back next loop; it's fine. act 5 is ugh seriously#tired. annoyed. unamused. what a waste of time#anyways wait how long has it been since I posted#(sees date of last post) OH. um#sorry guys I've been busy job (internship) hunting#will I post more from now on? No promises <3#Thank you for sticking around nontheless... I appreciate all the stuff yall send in my inbox <3#isat au
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A considerable amount of makeup was used to cover Deeva's freckles and face marks, and Cater also had to use magic to make her clothes his size. They did this as a joke, but they sure were committed to it! 💪
Original style swap challenge by @ashipiko ! (see her post here!!) If anyone wants to give it a try, go ahead, it's really fun!!! <3
#I could finally finish this!!!#thought it would be super cursed but why does CayCayfied Deeva actually look good??#well and Cater uhh... I can't look at him for long without laughing he looks like a sad wet cat 😭😭#Cater is lucky Deeva has long hair. He can fidget with it all he wants in class while being subtle about it#Also are those really his freckles or just makeup?? Hmm hmm I'll leave it to everyone's opinion~#personally I've always been VERY fond of the headcanon that he actually has freckles <33#And no I didn't forget to draw her wings. Cater's jacket doesn't have slits on the back so they're just a tiny lump under the fabric HDFHDH#Oh but please do imagine Cater having a paper with poorly drawn wings taped on his back. It's a very funny thought#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#twst cater#deeva twst#cateeva#my art
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yall ever think Shen Yuan went through like, internet withdrawal after being transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu? Like, he's canonically a NEET shut-in who did nothing but spend his time online, you can't tell me that for the first week or first few weeks of being SQQ he wasn't twitchy.
Like, reaching instinctively to his pockets for a phone that wasn't there, having an obsessive itch in the back of his mind that he should check and see if X or Y novel or webcomic has updated -- only to realize he can't anymore and being irritated by it. Wanting to go and see if there's new posts about this or that, but again realizing that he can't.
When he's bored or uncomfortable or just feels like wanting to escape he tries to go for his phone to distract himself, but oops! Not there anymore, and now he has to find a new and different way to distract himself from his feelings. And going through system notifications, quests, etc only does so much.
And there's that Tetris Effect too. SQQ makes a mistake while writing and instinctively goes to backspace on it except hey-ho that's not a keyboard and now he just dipped his pinkie into a bottle of ink or on a still-drying letter.
With him scrambling to fix his reputation and learn how to be a peak lord, I think his abrupt cold-turkey from all things internet would just be another straw on the camel's back that he promptly Ignores until it goes away on its own after he acclimates to his new surroundings.
#svsss#mxtx svsss#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#i think him learning how to be a peak lord and cultivation and everything else would help distract him from the internet withdrawal for the#most part. but the moment there's a lull in the day and his mind wanders or he becomes bored or stressed and he instinctively reaches back#for his phone and realizes it isn't there it just sends a spike of panic/frustration/irritation through him because its a familiar comfort#and now its gone. like this is all based off my own experiences from being Chronically Online but i just think its neat to think about#in that same vein i think it also pushes him into getting into the arts on QJP. Like as the peak lord naturally he would be doing this kind#of stuff but hes NOT the peak lord but to keep up appearances he has to know how to do this stuff. and finds it??? actually quite rewarding#even more than getting into an argument online or getting a new merch item. he's making or doing this stuff. he starts drawing and finishes#a piece and regardless of its skill level he feels something unclog in his chest. like sediment being scraped off the bottom of a creek and#being washed downstream. a weight that's been slogging through his veins suddenly untangled. physical proof of his efforts that feels great#starry is incapable of NOT giving her favorite blorbos more hobbies. starry is incapable of not giving her favorites artsy hobbies#this is probably NOT a new or original thought whatsoever but im throwing it out there anyways bc it fascinates me. i love transmigration#and albeit i've only read isekai manhwa/manhua there's a common theme of the people there assimilating into their new lives relatively quic#which i know is for ease of transition and getting to the rest of the story. but WHAT IF.#i have still not read svsss yet and idk when i'll be able to BUT have some thoughts anyways
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Ray of sunshine
(pre-launch page for their comic)
#I can not wait to make this comic#I have to stop thinking about it or else I cant focus#every time I start thinking about it I get all jittery. I wanna make it so fucking bad its unreal#hope to GOD I can do it full time omfg#I'll need like 500 people on my patreon paying to read ahead. ish. minimum. which is scary ahgkjsahgkjagh#but! I'll be able to put that on patreon! I cant do that right now. so thats cool!!!#just a lot of people AJGLKJGLKJASLKGGA#like it has to do well or I'm gonna have to get a different job#cause. I am NOT working for webtoon again#I cant do it they are killing me#and I'm not getting paid enough for it#I pitched this comic btw and they said they liked it but they wanted me to simplify the plot.#cause it was 'too complicated'#its literally just like. a murder mystery + a romance + a fetch quest#like its extremely not that complicated lmfao#they thought that people wouldnt be able to follow cause theres too much going on.#and I am not interested in simplifying my stories to this extent. I respect my readers and I trust they can follow plots#just. omfg I'm doing it again!!!#I cant start talking about webtoon without going off again!!!#they PISH ME OFF ! HAHAHAHAH#okay. anyways. I have to get back to work now this took me longer than I expected#like 4 hours#I'm enjoying this new illustration style I've been doing though. its fun.#its like 1 layer and then a ton of effects HAHAHAH#we were legion#zagan and luciel#zagan#luciel#how did I make zagan so hot... I'm a genius...#if he isnt hot then no one would put up with his behavior at the start of the ccomic HAHAHAHA
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Pokemon Legends Arceus fan comic, where Jirou has disappeared and Volo has complicated feelings about it. (And maybe figures out that there's a bit of a God in that little phone of Jirou's)
#pokemon#volo#adaman#irida#sabi#pokemon legends arceus#original character#ocs#Jirou#fanart#mine#tagging all the characters because I caaaaaan#hhrhhghhg#I've been sitting on this idea for a while ever since I noticed in one playthrough that NPCs acknowledge quest markers on the Arc phone#And I thought about how Volo might want his hands on that#I had a week off from work and what I did with that time was Draw A Lot#I didn't expect this to turn into an 18 page monstrosity#I expected like 8 or 10 at most#but I got to draw Volo a lot. And Jirou. It was fun#this has been brewing for a while and I finally did something with it#Kinda proud about that#Finished a big project!#Now I'm mortified about showing it to people! oh well!#I only watched House MD while drawing and I got to the end of Season 3#that's a lot of hours spent drawing
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Here's a big post of some of my doodles of [Cap'n and crew] that I haven't posted yet! Couple are comics, couple are shitposts, you know how it goes.
(Also have some extra character tidbits beneath the cut!)
Cap'n (she/they) has become a Spongebob-adjacent "married to the job" type with sprinklings of "they are not immune to rose-tinted Company propaganda". Cartoonishly loyal to work, she's more upset about lying to the boss about her condition over actually becoming a monster on work time (though she isn't particularly a fan of being a monster, either).
Skeets (she/her) was already implied to be pretty optimistic and curious, but I've doubled down on this. She's constantly curious about entities and the state of her co-workers, asking questions and absorbing new information. She's also extremely lucky when it comes to encountering entities.
Mav (she/him), as implied by her nearly leaving Cap'n behind in the first comic, has become a "I won't hesitate, bitch" bitch. Split second decisions aren't an issue for her, she WILL shoot first and ask questions later. (She also now has a gambling addiction, haha. LOVES betting credits on things)
Kid (he/him) is now Irish. I will not elaborate. He's kind of literally the same otherwise. He's also in major inherited debt because of a Company-caused clerical error, but don't worry about it.
Uh. That's about it, I suppose!
#artists on tumblr#lethal company#lethal company oc#lethal company eyeless dog#eyeless dog#blind dog#werecreature#wereeyeless dog#eyeless weredog#I started adding to this draft back in the beginning of july gUHJNFKFD I'm really bad about posting my stuff#I thought about waiting till I finished up a DIFFERENT comic I'm working on rn but like. man whateverrrr it can be posted later#Anyways I've actually been drawing a lot of stuff with another friend's LC OC too! MAYBE those will get their own post later?#(Mav's voice has shifted to Linda Belcher's and Skeets to BMO from Adventure Time cause of their suggestions!)#(also for Kid... by major debt I mean like... a cool 1 million credits type of level of debt. maybe more. and it was The Company's fault)#they also all have canonical least favorite entities but I might make a sketch about that later hOILJKFD#I also have been quietly developing that were-kidnapper fox concept I posted about a while ago because. I'm? Predictable???#also also jsyk I love the maneater. I LOVE THEMMMMMM love them! ZEEKERS!! MAKE A MANEATER PLUSHIE AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!#blood cw#capn tag#sfw#my draws
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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
#may 31th anon#hello friends!! (。’▽’。)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting#I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys#I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry#I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages#not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers#I do not know the meaning of that#but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them#I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket#I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said#that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason#but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket#we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion#maybe I should ask her#is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again#I just want to see that silly little hat again#would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket#have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡^▽^♡
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Earlier this year, a new blog was started here on Tumblr with the aim and intention of harassing a group of fans in the GO fandom. I previously made a post addressing this, as I was the initial target of this blog (whose original handle was a dupe of my own Tumblr handle).
I had hoped not to have a reason to revisit this particular subject, but given recent disturbing comments made by both this blog and its followers, and a post written by @nightgoodomens describing the situation from their perspective, I feel compelled to make a post of my own, to talk about what I have experienced and continue to experience at the hands of these individuals.
By now, some of you may be familiar with the blog in question. In my prior post, I did not mention this blog's name publicly, and I have no intention of doing so at this time, either. Yet I think it's important to be clear about what this blog's specific intentions were, which were made evident by its original creator on Twitter at the end of May:
It was only a few days after writing this tweet that the author did exactly this, and created this main blog. I feel that this has somehow become obscured over time, as given the negative response that this blog's initial posts engendered, the original creator apparently retired from the blog and gave the reins to someone else, and the blog's focus soon pivoted to defending Georgia and Anna. Prior to this, however, the blog began publishing Anons attacking me, including one that seemed to be threatening to doxx me:
What particularly perplexed me was seeing a gradual distortion of my own words and writing here on Tumblr, as well as people buying into it so readily. I also noticed one particular blog that became friendly with this main blog--they've changed handles a number of times, but at the time they were known as michaelsheendaily (then michaelsheensource, then thesheenantbergs). For months prior, they talked specifically about how awful the things I/others were saying about Georgia and Anna, and then seemingly joined forces with this main blog.
…Yet one year ago this very month, that same person (michaelsheendaily/thesheenantbergs) felt similarly to many of us and had sent me an Ask wanting to know if I thought Anna was being abusive to Michael. This Ask was sent from their (at the time, now deleted) main blog, but they helpfully DMed me from michaelsheendaily to make sure I had seen their question:
I answered this question (as I try to do with every Ask/Anon I get) straightforwardly and honestly, and firmly said "No" in response, as well as how serious it is to accuse someone of abuse, and that it is not up to any of us to try and break up a relationship, as Michael has people he can turn to if he needs to do so. I have also previously defended Georgia on my blog (and provided rationales and examples for why my perspective has gradually shifted over time), but it seems that the people harassing me have conveniently chosen to ignore all of this/have never looked at my blog beyond a cursory glance.
As this main blog continued its posting, and despite having Anons turned off, I began to receive a number of hateful Asks, which culminated with another blog suddenly coming into being about a month after these initial incidents. This blog claimed to be Michael Sheen (using a handle of his from Facebook), and published this despicably homophobic and noticeably un-Michael-like post:
The aforementioned main blog immediately drew attention to this post, and claimed that they had "proof" of this being the real Michael:
It soon became apparent that this blog was a fake, and despite its prior insistence that it could possibly be him, the main blog backtracked quickly as more people pointed out how obviously this was not Michael. Yet even the notion that someone would think this was acceptable--to pretend to be Michael, to (poorly) attempt an approximation of his writing style, all for the sake of attacking one person, and despite the fact that we know Michael already has a Tumblr that he hasn’t posted on in years--is just absurd beyond words.
But clearly this ill-conceived post inspired others, as only a week after this post appeared (and subsequently disappeared, along with the blog itself), I received an Ask from yet another recently-created blog of someone claiming to know Michael personally, saying that he would "destroy" me:
Which brings me to the present day, and how these themes have presented themselves yet again, in an even more unpleasant fashion.
Over the last four months, this main blog and its followers have continued to obsessively read my blog (despite how very easy it would be to simply block me) and screenshotted my posts in order to add their own vile commentary. I have not wanted to draw attention to any of this, but one particular instance has now made me change my mind.
I've recently talked on my blog about my upcoming trip to London, where I will be seeing David in Macbeth. A few days ago, it was brought to my attention that the main blog screenshotted one of my posts--which was a reblog of a video of David with Jodie Whittaker--along with my tags talking about the way David was sitting. One of the blog's followers commented this in response, and subsequently received a reply from the OP:
The "daggers" commenter currently runs several blogs dedicated to worshiping/defending Georgia and Anna (at least one of which is run in tandem with the original creator of the main blog). Numerous accusations have been levied at me and others from these blogs, one of the most outrageous of which is homophobia...yet this is their response to me simply saying David might not be 100% straight, and which eerily echoes the tone of the post from "Michael" three months ago. And while there are a lot of things about the last few months that have rankled me, nothing does so more than the hypocrisy I have witnessed, such as this.
The thing is, though, that when I saw these comments, all I could honestly think of was how sad I felt.
Because here I am, just days away from going on my trip--a trip I have been so anxiously awaiting, that is my first non-work trip in a very, very long time--and now the thought of, "Could someone try to attack me?" has crossed my mind. Yet my sadness is less for myself and more for the person who thinks it is acceptable to wish or even encourage violence against another human being. My sadness is that this person feels so unsafe or discontent in their own life--a feeling I know all too well--that their chosen course of action is to make someone else feel unsafe. To assuage their own sense of powerlessness by going after someone they perceive as having power.
My sadness is at these people being so sure that the celebrities they are a fan of would agree with them, yet needing/wanting those people to act in a way that aligns with who they want Michael and David to be, rather than who they actually are. I know that the Michael and David I became a fan of are two of the kindest, most intelligent, warmest men you could imagine, and that there is no part of me that wants or needs them to scream at or dislike the same people I do for the sake of my own self-serving purposes.
To that end, I have also been distressed by the apparent frenzy that was recently generated in the form of a "rallying cry" against myself and others in this group of fans facing ongoing harassment. But what I've tended to see as a response to said frenzy is some variation of, "People are saying these terrible things. I haven't actually seen any of these posts/comments, but it must be terrible, so I'll block this person/people." I am no stranger to fandom chatter/gossip, but every time I hear something, my first impulse is always to find the receipts. To learn more information what is being claimed so that I can make up my own mind. And that is the very same ethos I have espoused on my blog for years, because I would much rather people think for themselves than "fall in line" because they are being told to do so/threatened with being "cancelled" if they don't.
So if you want to find out something about my opinions or takes, it is all here on my blog. Everything going back five years since I joined the GO fandom, tagged and catalogued. I have not privated anything or deleted anything, nor do I have multiple blogs or side blogs--just this one. And if after reading what I actually have to say you still want to block me, you are certainly welcome to do so. I would just much rather you block me because of the truth, not because of someone else's personal vendetta and agenda.
To say that dealing with all of this for months on end has been surreal and stressful is a profound understatement. Especially because I have never once engaged with this blog, never replied to any posts of theirs, nor sent them an Anon or made threats of any kind (despite receiving numerous threats myself). Nor have I replied to the multiple incendiary Asks and DMs I have repeatedly received from the blog's original creator.
Again, I have not wanted to draw any further attention to these people, but the staggering awfulness of the most recent comments finally made me feel that enough is enough. I truly shudder to think what the response would be if someone made a similarly threatening comment toward these individuals...yet it's somehow completely fine to say these things about me. To make me and others into the "villain" that you need us to be to justify saying these heinous things in the first place. And while these individuals and anyone else are free to dislike me and to express their dislike in a public forum to their heart's content, that freedom of expression ends where my right to not feel that my personal safety is in jeopardy begins. A line that should never have been crossed has been crossed, and we as a fandom and as human beings are much the worse off for it.
No one should ever have to feel this way. Not even these people. And by talking about all of this and bringing these incidents into the light, my hope is that no one else ever will.
#michael sheen#welsh seduction machine#david tennant#soft scottish hipster gigolo#fandom woes#i can't even with this nonsense#the events of the last few months have just been unreal#especially because i've always talked about seeing our faves as human beings#and giving that grace even to those i dislike#but i guess it's easier to dehumanize me instead#felt good to write all this out though#but i am saddened that my trip has been somewhat tainted by all of this#still hoping to have a wonderful time and do many good things#i'll stop tagging now#long post is long#thoughts#discourse
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HELLO I MUST SCREAM ABOUT UR ENTERPRISE ART. THIS IS ME SCREAMING AT YOU. I LOVE IT SM. PLS KNOW I LOVE IT. UR STYLE IS SO COOL.
what!! 😭 you're way too kind omg... ;; take this doodle of the lads <3
#( and some mini ensigns in the bg :] )#you're way too kind for real tho omg 😭 <3 thank you for this little message <3#i certainly wasn't expecting it!! the ent fans dont seem super vocal over here#hopefully I'll get around to some more drawings and stuff but so far I've just been posting doodles in between other stuff im working on-#that cant really be posted#so many thoughts and ideas about the ent crew tho... scooping them all up into my hands and making their show better myself#im almost toward the end of season 2. scary how fast this series feels it's going considering it only has 4 seasons... 😨#i shall cease my ramblings in the tags here tho otherwise ill be here all night 😭#star trek enterprise#star trek#malcolm reed#trip tucker#tuckerreed#graffart#telegraff#themurdochmemesteries
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a hc i have is where Coruscant is still not a very good posting, but the Guardsmen try to make it as enjoyable as possible for the visiting troopers. they scout out good party/relaxation/dining spots for clones, they personally get supplies that troopers normally would never have (usually small things like nail polish, high quality shaving cream, a music box, etc.), and they just like to improve life on the planet in general for themselves and by extension the other troopers, which can add another reason for Fox and his commanders to be so busy & secretive so often (especially if you want to make the ways they make this possible very angsty and/or complicated) and another chance to make all the clones more connected despite their differing views/experiences.
#radio.static#i don't like thinking of ALL the other clones thinking of the Guardsmen negatively‚ so I tend to just try to find happier alternatives#i've been thinking of this for a few months‚ and then i came across a nice fic that had explored the same idea! made me happy#A very specific thought i've been having regarding this is where i tie in the hc that Jek has a garden & Rys can really soothe anxieties#so Jek invites stressed troopers to help or relax in the garden‚ and Rys can get them to talk about their issues in the safety of the garde#coruscant guard#commander fox#star wars#the clone wars#star wars the clone wars#sw#tcw#sw tcw#clone wars headcanons
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in todays "it's probably not that deep but--" lucanis post:
i'm gonna start this with a bold statement:
lucanis doesn't think about rook (much).
hear me out. in inner demons, when you are in his mind, we see these ideas of how he thinks he's perceived by everyone, and how he perceives people; family, contracts, enemies. all these people are conjured in his mind, in this prison he's yet to escape. his own mind is as dangerous as he is.
when you find him, he immediately asks "what are you doing here, rook?"
he immediately knows it's you. it's not an idea of you, not a trick or the mind, it's you. "rook can't be here." and with romance specific dialogue, he says "you should go. it's better i stay here than risk losing you."
so does he want rook out of his head to stop himself from coming up with reasons to keep rook away from him entirely? is he afraid the longer rook stays and learns his mind, the more rook will fear/distrust him?
and with that, does he then do his absolute best to just not think about rook when they're not around? not just because of the demon inside him, but himself? the culmination of the training and contracts and backstabbing and torture he's endured, leaving him to think he's too broken and messy and professional for friends or anything more? as a man that has little left to lose and is afraid to do so, he's just as - if not more - afraid to gain?
that rook is the one solid and neutral ground he has and therefore doesn't want them involved in a tortured mind? and that, if romanced, that's half the reason why there's an almost kiss because he panics, "i need to clear my head"?
and then tearstone island happens, and rook is gone for weeks. they're not around anymore. the only way to see rook is to imagine them, think about them. and all lucanis can think about is how he'll never see rook again. rook's lost despite his efforts.
at that point, what's left to lose but himself?
#again i'm probably overthinking pls don't yell at me that i'm wrong this has just been a thought i've had since i first did that mission#i haven't been normal about him since he dropped the 'at least i know i'm doing it' line but i've been ESPECIALLY worse since i realised--#you've been gone for weeks after tearstone island and thoughts like this make me go brrrrr ougghuouhgh waaaAAAAAHHH#anyway more angst for y'all GOODNIGHT<3#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age veilguard#da4#rook x lucanis (but not restricted to)#rookanis#PS by all means you can think i'm wrong and discuss your points! this is just a theory of mine
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