#and thinking about seeing my family tomorrow
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mialikeshockey · 2 days ago
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Kiss Me - Jack Hughes
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Being with Jack was always like a fresh breath of air. Never was there a moment where we weren’t giggling and laughing over the most ridiculous things. Everything was always so smiley, it’s kinda why being with Jack was always so special to me; until I remember he’s my twin brothers best friend. Jack would never be anything more to me than my brothers best friend. Case would never allow it for sure.
So I thought…
“Hey lil mac, how’s it going?” Jack says walking into my room. “Case is out back with Trev.” Jack chuckles, “I wasn’t gonna ask about him, but great to know.” I set my book down on my blanket, “What were you gonna ask about then? You never just come in my room to talk unless Case isn’t home, and well, Case is home.”
“Who said i didn’t wanna talk to you even while Mac is home?” Jack picks my book up and starts looking over at the back. “Since when do you enjoy reading, give me my book back.” I say, taking my book out of his hands. “Ouch. I guess there’s a lot you don’t know about me Lex.” I put my bookmark in my book and close it, gently setting it down on my nightstand.
Before I could get a word out, Case runs in my room giggling,Trevor following behind him. Case jumps on my bed, landing right on top of me. “Ew! You stink! Get off my bed Case!” Case just chuckles. “It’s not funny, I will push you off. You have five seconds to get up.”
Case gets up, “Come on Hughesy, we gotta head out soon. Marshall and Danny are waiting for us at the rink.” Case walks out of my room, Trevor following him like a lost puppy. “I guess I gotta go.” I lay back on my pillows, “yeah, I guess so.”
“I’ll call you later lil mac, and ps, maybe this time, answer the phone.” He pats my head and walks out. I grab my book and try to finish what I was reading before, but all I could think about is why he wanted to talk.
Later that night, I finished up some last minute homework before I could head to bed. I finish packing my bag for school tomorrow and my phone lights up, with Jacks name on the screen. I sit there thinking if I should answer or not, why would he even wanna talk to me anyways. I mean he does call and text a lot but I’m always dry with him and I don’t try to keep a conversation.
I let myself just have the win of my feelings take over and I answer the call. “I feel like I just won the lottery.” Jack says, very tiredly. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Jack chuckles, “lil mac finally answers one of my calls.”
“Well, make this quick, I wanna go to sleep.” Jack goes quiet for a moment, “Jack, I really gotta head to bed. I have an ap history test tomorrow.”
“okay, goodnight beautiful.” Jack hangs up before I could say anything. My heart drops to my stomach and all I could think about was his voice repeating that over and over again in my head.
I lay down in bed and try everything to get it off my mind, but nothing sounded as good as hearing him call me that. I close my eyes and relax and I was out.
My alarm is one of the worst things to wake up to. I hate the noise of it. I turn it off and give myself time to wake up, I sit up and check my phone. Nothing much to really check because I hate having social media but got it to see my families posts.
I turn on some music and I start to get ready. I get one of my jeans out with a sweater to go with it. I put my hair in a low messy bun. I was never big on makeup, I did put on mascara on every now and then but I have gotten used to not putting it on at all. I put some lip gloss on and headed downstairs.
All my brothers were sitting at the table eating breakfast. “Morning boys, morning Gav.” I say, giving Gavin a kiss on the head. “How come Gavin gets a special good morning and Case and I get a lame one?” Aiden gets up from the table, I take his spot. “I actually like Gavin.” Gavin smiles in response.
“Come on Lexi! We gotta go, I gotta pick up Jack!” Case yells to me, walking out of the door. My heart drops at Jacks name. I grab my bag and put my shoes on, “I’ll make cookies with you guys after school if you ask mom go get the stuff.” I tell Aiden and Gavin, they both nod.
We get to Jacks house and he walks out. He’s wearing gray sweatpants and an ntdp hoodie, his hair being a bit messy, but I always found that adorable. He gets in the front seat and looks back at me. “Morning lil mac.”
“Morning.” I say quietly, putting my face back down in my phone. Thank gosh the school isn’t far from Jacks house.
We get to school and i quickly get my stuff out of the car and walk to the building. I head to my locker and get my history books out and my notes to help study for the test. As I’m shutting my locker, I see a familiar face standing right next to me. “Can I help you?”
Jack rubs the back of his neck, “I wanted to apologize for last night.” I look over at him, “what is there to apologize for?” He gives me a confused look.
“Jack, your my brothers best friend, he’d kill me if I ever once said anything about having a crush on you.” I state, walking away. Jack walks with me, “so you admit it, you do like me?”
“Never said that.” I put my book to the side. “Well then, do you?” I stop and turn and look at him. “It doesn’t matter if I do or don’t Jack. Like I said, you’re my brothers best friend. I can’t do that to him. He’s my twin brother.” Before I could walk away, Jack grabs my arm.
“It does matter Lex, I already talked to Case. He trusts me. Why do you think he lets me come over so much and be around you?” I start thinking of all the times Case never got mad at Jack for hanging out with me and not him.
“I like you a lot Lexi. I wouldn’t be trying to do anything about it if I didn’t.” He grabs my hand. “So kiss me.” I say walking closer to him. “What?” Jack says softly.
“If you like me and Case is okay with it, kiss me to prove it because I don’t believe you.” Jack stands there and looks around. “Exactly.” I say, letting go of his hand and walking away. “Wait! Lex come here.”
Jack pulls me in and kisses me. “I don’t wanna mess up okay. I call you every night because you are my last thought before I go to bed. You’re the last person I want to talk to before I go to bed. I got scared last night and hung up because I didn’t mean to call you beautiful out loud. It just slipped out.”
Before I could reply to Jack, Case and Marshall appear out of the corner. “About damn time!” Case yells. “I’ve been waiting for this for months. Only took a couple pep talks!” Case pats Jack on his back. “Yeah yeah whatever Mac.”
The bell rings, Case and Marshall head the opposite way of Jack and I. Jack holds my hand, “you’ll do good on your test. You’re really smart.” I try to hold back my smile but being called smart is one of my favorite things.
He walks me to my class and before I go to walk in, he kisses the side of my cheek. “Good luck beautiful.”
I walk in class looking like a tomato with how red my face is from smiling.
Sorry I haven’t posted in so long, I was visiting family back home and haven’t really been on any social media. I wanna write more for Jack but I have like no ideas but I’m gonna try to post a lot more with holiday themed stuff so if you have requests feel free to send them in!
Credit to gif maker!!
(Also for the people that don’t know, Cases nickname is Mac so that’s why Lexi is named lil mac 😭)
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sunshine-zenith · 23 hours ago
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Is Peri even a godparent anymore?!
If he still is, I can't imagine him being assigned to some random kid after everything with Dev.
Maybe he went back to dental school.
(Sorry I took so long to get to this one. I died)
You know… I’m actually really not sure. I think this is one of the biggest questions left from the end of season one, and part of why so many people are hoping for a second season — Dev and Peri’s stories are still so unresolved. We didn’t even get to see Peri’s reaction to losing Dev as a godkid, something that stands out so much because literally just a few minutes earlier, Peri confesses that he cared about Dev and tried so hard to do right by him
A headcanon of mine is that becoming a fairy godparent in the first place was a big deal for Peri — he calls it the family business, he was partially raised alongside a godkid who he adored as a baby, and he literally would not exist if it weren’t for a godkid’s wish. The fact that he turned down what was clearly a prestigious and respected position to become one must mean a lot.
(Something I think about a lot is that Peri was lowkey OP as a baby, especially when compared to someone like Irep. He was well liked, smart, good in school, and powerful. There’s a reason why adult Peri comes off as having Gifted Kid Burnout — he basically went from being good at everything to struggling hard and not managing it well)
Him losing his godparent position entirely would hurt, even if he has other options
On the other hand… it also kinda hurts to think of him with anyone but Dev right now. Dev’s situation still sucks, and if anything it’s just been reinforced that how much it sucks. We don’t know if he retains the realization that his father will never put him first, but that doesn’t matter because we the audience know Dale won’t. This kid still has every reason to be miserable, and he desperately needs an adult in his corner. Again, Peri and Dev’s stories are unresolved and could go anywhere. It would suck if we don’t get some kind of conclusion, an actual sense of finality, for them
…Anyway, if you’re a fan of the show and have netflix, please stream it tomorrow. It’s been said that the show likely won’t be renewed (and therefore these plot lines left unresolved) if it doesn’t immediately do well when it dropped. I’ve been burned too many times to get my hopes up for a second season, but it can’t hurt to try
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melanieph321 · 3 days ago
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Can you make a fanfic of Gabriel Medina where reader is an f1 driver and their dating and reader wins the Brazilian gp where his the one waving the flag and it’s all cute and fluff sorry if that didn’t make sense had the idea but didn’t know how to word it
Omg yes!!! ☺️☺️☺️☺️💞💞💞
10 DAYS OF REQUESTS
(DAY 8)
Gabriel Medina x Reader - Waving Flag
I haven't written cute fluff like this in so long ☺️☺️
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Enjoy! 🏁
"You're thinking about the race, aren't you?"
You shifted in bed. The hotel room was dark, but the light from the moon revealed your boyfriend's teasing smile. "So what if I am?"
His lips widened. "You should get some sleep, baby. The race isn't won in your mind. It's won on the track."
"Oh, yeah? And when did Gabriel Medina become such a racing expert?"
"Easy..." He said and bent down to kiss your lips. "My girlfriend is a racing driver. One of the best in the world."
"Is she? How many races has she won?"
"None this season. But you just wait and see tomorrow...."
"Tomorrow..." Tomorrow was indeed a big day for you. The whole world refused to let you forget that.
"Hey, where did you go?" Disturbed by your silence, Gabriel shrugged your body.
"I'm here." You whispered, your hands stroking the outlines of his face. "I just really want to win tomorrow, that's all."
"And you will." He shifted his weight onto you, his arms tugging you closer. "Trust me, baby, you'll beat them all."
"I really want to win." You repeated, more as wish than a statement. "It would make my family so proud."
"And me." Gabriel mumbled against your neck, where his lips had gone to attached themselves. It tickled when he spoke. "You're gonna make the people of Brazil proud if you win it tomorrow. And you will win it, baby. Trust me."
You closed your eyes and sighed, his hungry kisses tracing down your throat. Fiery kisses, that burned every inch of your skin.
"Gabriel, please." You gasped. "We can't."
"No sex before the race." You said shyly. "You know my rules."
His hands were searching for you under the covers, knuckles brushing over the fabric of your panties. "Why not?" He murmured, head still burried into the crook of your neck.
Gabriel lifted his head, eyes big in the night. "Your rules, huh?" He let his hands slip out from underneath the covers, respecting your needs. Gabriel always did. However, he resumed tracing feather like kisses up your arms, his lips a gift from God himself. "So no sex before the race...." He traced the kisses upwards, stopping to nip and lick the spots that he knew would make you squeal.
"No." You squirmed, stirring frantically below him. However, Gabriel's weight pinned you down against the matress, the warmth of his naked torso flat against your cheeks. "But if I win...."
He raised his head, eyebrows arched. "If you win?"
You grinned. "Then you can do whatever you want to me."
His head knocked against your chest, a deep groan rising from his throat. "Fuck, Y/N. You're literally driving me crazy."
"I am." You giggled. "I really am."
******************************************
Getting in the zone was the easy part. With Gabriel taking care of your family, you really had no distractions surrounding your garage. Your team took you through the usual race preparations, which you analyzed mindfully but also critically. Today, there could be no mistakes. Still, the atmosphere of the Interlagos circuit was of no other. You caught yourself glancing at the many faces of the cheering crowd. How they proudly waved the Brazilian flag, a flag you wore at the hip of your racing suit. It might as well have been attached to your chest because that's how much it meant to you.
The next day couldn't arrive fast enough. It was race day, which meant not as much media. All your focus was on the task at hand. To win the Brazilian Grand Prix.
Like you told Gabriel, it would mean so much to your family. The whole nation, really. To win your first home grand prix on the F1 Academy's first trip to Brazil would simply mean the world to you. You'd do anything to accomplish this objective, starting by focusing solemnly on that exact goal. To cross the line first.
Brazil was your home.
Brazil was your heart.
Today you'd show the world what a Brazilian racing driver could do.
Your heart was beating fast, like it always did at the start of a race. However, once your car had taken position on the track, the engine revolving to the countdown of the lights, there was no turning back. Either you sink or you swim.
Your gaze was narrowed from behind your vizor. Once your helmet was on, you were one with the car, man, and the machine. Correction: Woman and the machine. At the end of the day, that's what you all were, women, trying to prove themselves in a man's world.
Many men have told you not to do what you do. To not try to fix what isn't broken. However, you've only really cared about what one man thinks of you, and today, you were racing for him and him alone
"She's done it. Y/N takes the checkered flag as the winner of the Brazilian GP!"
The feeling was of no other. First win of the season and the first win at home. Although your eyes were dimmed by tears you were pretty sure that you saw your boyfriend over head, waving the checkered flag as you crossed the finish line.
What a day.
What a life.
And it had only just begun.
DON'T MISS - 10 DAYS OF REQUESTS
(DAY 1)
(DAY 2)
(DAY 3)
(DAY 4)
(DAY 5)
(DAY 6)
(DAY 7)
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mckinleygirl98 · 1 day ago
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10+ people i’d like to get to know better
Tagged by @elephantlovemedleys 💛💛
last song i listened to: Everybody’s Trying to be my Baby by the Beatles. Last night I listened to the Beatles For Sale album again 🤷
favorite color: yellow!
last book i finished: I recently finished Catch 22. One of my favorite books ever UGH 💙♥️honestly some parts were really hilarious and other parts were really scary so 🙂‍↕️I recommend
last show i watched: I actually have no idea. I haven’t watched TV in so long. I’m about to watch shardlake though. I mean I guess I watched Jeopardy with my dad the other night!
sweet/salty/savory: SWEET. It’s a big problem
relationship status: I have a girlfriend she’s very nice💛💛🌹🌹
most recent google search:
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see for yourself (screenshots from last night)
current obsession: US HISTORY!!! More specifically, the presidents, and even more specifically, WILLIAM MCKINLEY and PRESIDENTIAL ASSASSINATIONS. You know the deal 🙂‍↕️. I don’t think I have th heart to let go of it, and I have so much I want to learn still so. Yeah I love learning stuff 💛💛 also EMMA GOLDMAN and ALEXANDER BERKMAN, those anarchists…. Also the Civil War
looking forward to: hmm. Seeing my family in the mountains, seeing the Outsiders on Broadway in January, history class today, orchestra class tomorrow, model congress, THE 1920s PARTY!!!!, etc
@czolgosz @lorephobic @bwrtl @orangegloom
@olliedoesthings @doodle-blight @pranklinfierce @allysah @riddled-forensic
tagging you guys in this 🌹🌹
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durorholmes · 2 years ago
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Since it's Christmas day now, what do you think Christmas Day would be like at the Hackett House?
Kaylee and Caleb would be spoiled, of course. They're in their twenties but they're still up at 5am to open gifts.
Chris has on the goofy Christmas jumper (sweater) and got Mariah Carey on. Arguing with kids and Bobby about what movie go put on. Chris likes Home Alone, Kaylee wants Elf. Jed interjects with A Wonderful Life but the kids don't want to watch an old black and white movie.
Jed and Bobby have put up the outdoor Christmas dec and lights in the days leading up to (Connie likes them so Connie gets them) and the Kaylee put up the indoor ones.
Jed's got his feet up on an armchair in front of the TV sipping a whisky smiling at Connie bustling about in the kitchen. Eventually, goes in and they do a little dance to Frank Sinatra on the radio. Kids are cringing.
Travis. I think he'd show face at the beginning. He'd try to help in the kitchen, but he's just underfoot. Tries to join in with family activities but not really into it. Makes an excuse that he's got to patrol later at night to make sure no one's driving about drunk but he's actually sitting in his office, with a few beers. It's fine, he'd rather be reading Fifty Shades than feel unneeded by family. He'll sleep in the cot upstairs again.
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feelbetterlove-books · 2 months ago
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Even when you have a hard day just remember, Bucktommy "has anyone ever told you you're a vision in a cone?" will always be there. Tommy Kinard looked at his adorable boyfriend with a silly party hat on and thought Evan, you're beautiful, you're stunning, you're ravishing, you're a sight for sore eyes. I could never get tired of looking at you. I cherish you. There's nowhere I'd rather be than behind this couch at your side. And he was so real for that.
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impossible-rat-babies · 7 months ago
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vierapril day 26--weapon
"and failing that, i'll have my trusty warrior of light box the ears of all concerned."
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melancholy--lion · 8 months ago
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If you saw this on the Dropout Discord, no you didn't. But I have to talk about the family dynamics and relationships in this last episode of Fantasy High because I can't stop thinking about it.
Okay but seriously, the conversation with Sklonda and the one with Aelwyn have me feeling all sorts of ways thanks to my weird mix of developmental trauma. They hit SO HARD
I can't stop thinking about how Aelwyn felt like she had to move out not because anyone did anything wrong at Mordrid Manor, but because they were too kind and nice to her. Like there's this incredibly confusing and impossible to articulate combination of despair, confusion, disgust, jealousy, and shame that comes from being in a place that loves and accepts you for you after being in a place that didn't for so long. And how even if you know logically that the place is safe and you are loved, your body just doesn't believe it and you're constantly on edge and overwhelmed. It's painfully relatable as someone with that experience. I've never seen someone else relate or put those feelings into words before but I feel so seen.
Sklonda just caring so deeply about her son and being so worried and also so frustrated with her son's friends is just heartbreaking. And her not liking that they call him Ball is just icing on the cake. Because in reality, it's not a very kind nickname, seeing as it comes from Riz being bullied. And even though Riz has reclaimed it, the scars are still healing for Sklonda and that's deep too. That hit real hard too!
OH and don't even get me started on Fabian being neglected. His mom called FIG AND NOT HIM?! OH MY GOD IT HURTS! The role play this season hurts SO GOOD!!
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icannotgetoverbirds · 1 month ago
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i just did so many dishes and it was so fun peace and love on planet earth YIPPEE!!!!!!
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uygfiug · 4 months ago
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sometimes my parents make me want to commit violent crimes
#mine#sorry for putting this on your dash im just angry & have no one i can really bother with this#my brother said he wasnt sure if he wanted to come with us to a castle tomorrow#but hes too young to be home alone all day#so i went to tell my parents bc i sidnt think they wanted to learn that tomorrow morning#instead of even asking why they immediately started with the passive agressive comments#and in an annoyed tone going 'i just dont get what could be so bad about a day of fun with family'#first of all he didnt even say he wasnt goint#second shut the fuck up#he cant speak anymore & is crying#i offer him a bunch of alternatives while my father insults each one and makes it sound ridiculous#while my brother types on his phone#my father starts ranting at my parent about it#as if my brother isnt right fucking there and also 11 years old#im so happy he isnt coming with us#like yeah i never see him but the times i do are always so horrible that im kinda glad about it#he avoids us like the plague & we avoid him back#my parent is fine most of the time#but never in situations like this#if other people are upset in a way that inconviences them theyre shit about it too#anything related to not doing good in school also#and like im fine#im upset sometimes sure but i know i dont deserve this & i can deal with it fine#i dont think my brother deals with it very well though#so im very worried about him#especially bc i think high school is going to be a big struggle for him#possibly more than me#and tbh i think im more of a parental figure to him than our actual parents
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morrigan-sims · 3 months ago
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What a difference a few years makes...
Rook at age 17-18 vs age 26 & Val at age 17 vs age 32
Not a whole lot changed appearance-wise for Rook, except for getting a few more ear piercings and a lot more scars (most of which you can't even see in these pictures). And he started wearing rings/necklaces, which you can't really see. And started wearing increasingly slutty shirts. Val also gained a scar or two, plus several tattoos. Their horns were broken when they were 17, so pre-17 they had full horns. Oh, and the eyepatch. That's a big one. And they got enough money to buy themself a big hat and a lot of fancy coats.
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months ago
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. ​how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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lesbiansanemi · 5 months ago
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Was doing so good holding it together today but now that I’m laying down and trying to sleep I’m tearing up and I can feel that I’m about to burst into tears any second now
#my mom called me like ten minutes before I was off work today#and asked if I had talked to my grandpa lately and I was like yeah some why?#I’ve been showing what I’ve been cooking with him and my grandma because I was proud of myself#and she was like oh so you know about his potential surgery?#and I was like. his what???????#apparently his pace maker is dying and malfunctioning and he needs a new one#but this is the third time it’s had to be replaced and as he’s gotten older he’s had a lot more health issues#and they’re not even sure his heart can handle getting it replaced…. he has an appointment tomorrow to find that out#and no one told me. no one fucking told me it was that bad and I’m so#like man my feelings on my grandparents are so insanely complicated but I do love them#I love them so much and they practically raised me and loved me more and treated me better than my mother EVER did#they’re the only family members I’ve ever been legitimately terrified and upset over not accepting me cuz I’m queer#like my mom and siblings? I could not give a flying fuck if they hated me for my gender or sexuality#if my grandparents had a bad reaction I think I would fucking kill myself#and idk the point is I love him and I’ve barely seen him at all the past few years because we live far away now and I never visit because I#hate the rest of my family#but what if he can’t have this surgery?????#or what if he can but something goes wrong??????#what if he’s dying and I’m only able to go down and see him one more time#and he could be fine. it might all work out and he could be fine#but man I’m terrified that won’t happen because WHY WOULD NO ONE TELL ME ANY OF THIS#and yeah no I’m fully crying now I can’t do this#he taught me to draw and he built the house I grew up in and he got me into lord of the rings and would take me book shopping#and and and I’m gonna fucking throw up#kaz rambles
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#tw suicide#no seriously heed the tw this is probably upsetting i just. i need to say it somewhere and i will not say it to my family.#puddleglum hours#personal#its just i was thinking.#tother day the doctor asked: do you regret it? about the suicide attempt tuesday night.#and i said something that i still feel: if i regret anything about it it's that i didn't succeed.#they're talking of discharging me tomorrow or something and im just.#what do i need to do to be kept in for longer?! damn it all i *know* how i could kill myself in here.#but i don't want to. i need them to save me#because i can't save myself! if they discharge me tomorrow i think it very likely ill be dead before the end of the week! or at least in#hospital from another attempt! this new med has made me more numb but the thoughts haven't gone away just muted. and then.#at times like this im perfectly wild about it! i cannot keep myself alive i need them to do it for me!#but when ive seen the doctor each time its been when im exhausted and numb and i don't care but that is not the case always.#i don't know. i don't see a good outcome any which way.#hopefully tomorrow the doctor sees me at a time when im feeling like this i think.#because i think i need to tell them. but i don't know how or even if it matters#and sometimes i just want to die.#im so tired of living guys. why#editing to add i am still on hiatus and if you want to contact me and know my discord contact me there#so i will not be responding to anything here for this moment at least
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fridayyy-13th · 3 months ago
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wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
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lovecolibri · 2 days ago
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God bless podcasts for saving me on my 6hr drive home, alone, after funeral planning. Literally, Worlds Beyond Number and Midnight Burger saved the day and kept me from having any space for thoughts the whole way home. 💙
10/10 recommend audio dramas for long drives.
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