#and theyre like oh okay ill do that slide

[skitskatdacat63]

Here is a badly drawn comic of my terrible, awkward group project experience from yesterday. I thought it was very absurd so I wanted to share it other people lol :)

Let me know, how do you find their conduct 😭

[biillys]

yes i know we all hate karen here but heres the thing. i got a crush on cara from her part in person of interest and i refuse to let the duffer brothers shitty storylines and fucked up attempts at romance take her character away from me. anyway EYE get to pick and choose what the characters i like would actually do and u know what? she would not do that shit. thanku

[darealsaltysam]

I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT

below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this

oh my god okay okay where do i even start

opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up

watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok

this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!

i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis

arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie

but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.

i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.

the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this

OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD

jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed

the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH

all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!

once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM

rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it

the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that

okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT

FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER

stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET

just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT

when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.

the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd

GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.

dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.

and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell

speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing

what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah

special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast

WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL

the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS

a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!

anyway. back to the horrors.

i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP

i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me

chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!

SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING

TIMOTHEE

FUCKING

CHALAMET

listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.

he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing

paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting

like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different

what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!

also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg

when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us

also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore

have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her

okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive

chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much

THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD

IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL

THE WORMS

THE SENSE OF SCALE

THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY

THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME

THE SOUND

EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL

the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell

every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis

gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3

the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall

i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell

i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3

OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO

HERE WE GO YALL

THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK

THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!

THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start

okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys

paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around

i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more

i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?

but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.

oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.

theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point

another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!

this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani

chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"

i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.

sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3

[the-troll-book-of-mormon]

@davekatweek day 1: plush!

in which dave does not want anything remotely puppet-like to watch the proceedings

(+ my rushed attempt at dialogue below)

DAVE: hey karkat sorry to totally crush your wildest selfcest dreams here but do you think maybe we could put that cool guy away before we go any further here

KARKAT: WHAT?

DAVE: your squishy dude over there with the sideways mohawk

DAVE: lil kat

KARKAT: ARE YOU REFERRING TO MY CUSHION EFFIGY?

DAVE: ok theres absolutely no way thats actually the troll word for plushies but ill let it slide without completely derailing the conversation this time

DAVE: yes that guy

DAVE: could we maybe do this without him watching

DAVE: idk something about the way hes been staring at me with those big yellow depression eyes is just killin my vibe

KARKAT: WOW DAVE, REALLY GLAD THAT AFTER ALL THIS TIME YOU FINALLY FOUND IT WITHIN THE ECHOING CAVERNS OF YOUR HOLLOW PUMP BISCUIT TO TELL ME THAT MY "DEPRESSION EYES" ALLEGEDLY "KILL YOUR VIBE".

KARKAT: ANY OTHER COMPLAINTS YOU WANT TO GET OFF YOUR NUB WHILE YOU'RE ALREADY SCUTTLING YOUR EFFRONTERY GASH?

DAVE: dude what

DAVE: thats totally different

DAVE: i love your depression eyes you know i love your depression eyes

KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW, DAVE, IS THIS A THING THAT I KNOW?

KARKAT: YOU DON'T THINK THERE COULD BE ANYTHING CONFUSING ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE CLAIMING TO "LOVE" AN ANATOMICAL FEATURE OF MINE THAT YOU SIMULTANEOUSLY FIND SO DISGUSTING THAT YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BRING YOURSELF TO ENGAGE IN CONCUPISCENT ACTIVITIES IN ITS PRESENCE?

KARKAT: ONCE AGAIN I AM COMPLETELY MYSTIFIED BY THE BOUNDLESS GENIUS OF YOUR ATROPHYING SPONGE. HOW COULD I EVER HOPE TO KEEP UP?

DAVE: holy shit dude i cannot believe this is actually something youre stuck on

DAVE: this is a real unfortunate time to be getting into this but maybe its because your depression eyes are attached to the real life body of my sexy as fuck boyfriend and i can look at them and not get the weird fucking heebie jeebies about being watched or secretly filmed

KARKAT: OH.

DAVE: i mean look hes cute and all and on the one hand its genuinely hilarious that in a way were fulfilling plush karkats voyeuristic fantasies that he inherited from you

KARKAT: HEY!

DAVE: but on the other its kinda jarring that every time i glance up and see his weird little fabric face im getting flashbanged by my kid selfs fucked up programming and for a split second its like im seeing something completely different

DAVE: so yeah nothing wrong with his depression eyes specifically its just that theyre eyes and theyre not real and somehow that makes it way more real

DAVE: like maybe someone somehow snuck a webcam in there just now when i wasnt looking

DAVE: which doesnt actually make sense because first of all why

DAVE: and second of all im always keeping my eye out for that sort of thing anyway so i would definitely notice before we got this far

DAVE: but all this dumb shit just makes it kinda hard to focus on the actual depression bedroom eyes right in front of my face

DAVE: not to mention the rest of this effigy im tryin to get my ganderbulbs and prongs all over

KARKAT: OKAY I GET IT, STOP TRYING TO DISTRACT ME FROM THE FEELINGS JAM BY APPROPRIATING TROLL VERNACULAR.

KARKAT: I'LL PUT HIM IN THE OTHER ROOM.

...

i had more of the scene i could write, but it was getting long and im already late for day 1! maybe one day i'll actually write out a scene and post it on ao3

[chibimochii]

Bc you asked.....i present to you....Ler scara ,, warnign this is so long , so uh feel free to put a "keep reading" button since. ler scara is making me feel all flustered rn

((also if ever you respond to thisss, is it okay you uhm tag this with the 🦋 anon tagg? if its okay with you ofcc,, this is for like easy access hsh

Now....Ler scara

----

writing this was NOT EASY btw i felt all tingly and giggly just by typing this all out

- This guy is HUGE on revenge tks,,, like the moment of opportunity comes by, he can AND will get his revenge. also tckles you if he is in the mood

- Likes to pin his lee down to make sure his chances of winning are high

- [coughs] my huge weakness.....teasy/flirty scara.....imagine as he wrecks you, he likes to get near your ear, whispers evilly and smirks when he sees your face flush a deeper red or your laughter gets louder (it brings him a MASSIVE EGO BOOST...)

-Along with teasing... i feel like he would go "Ah, ah, ah~ Where do you think you're going, hm?~" im weak. im goddamn weak for this. if he says this to me im immediately dead.

-Laughs along with his lee. Dont, and i repeat dont look at his eyes when hes tckling you , youre going to die bc of how his indigo eyes seems to glow with that smirk of his is looking at you (i cant even type this fully my face is heating up rn holy shit)

-if his lee says a safeword or he notices that theyre near or at their limit, he will slow down to more gentle tkles,, and will hold you for a bit while you take in air, stroking your hair gently

-Will love to use the methods that makes you squeal, cackle and giggle the most (hes so evil). if youre sensitive on your tum/torso, he will spider his fingers all over it and, blows huge raspberries on your navel (the devious joy he gets when he hears you cackle and try to crawl away from his grip makes him grin widely)

-or if youre also senstive on your neck (and is close to you), he likes to wrap his legs and arms around your body to keep you still as he blows MORE raspberries on the nape of your neck . and also kisses and playfully nibbles there as you giggle helplessly

again this also makes him smug and smirk into your skin, chuckling lowly as all you can do is squirm and scrunch your shoulders up

-OR IF. your back is senstive he scratches the area on your back where the collarbone would be on your upper back and claws your lower back to your sides, sliding a finger up and down ur spine

-Ribs,,, oh god goodluck, hes gonna have a fun time counting them all and nibbling on it,,, glances up at you before biting very gently and when he hears you squeal, he gets encouraged to continue

-Ears. im. im deceased. he chuckles, goddamn chuckles into your ear and enjoys when he sees your whole face burn up. if you try to scrunch your shoulders up or move your head away, he'll simply hold your head in place as he whispers devastatingly tcklish teases into your ears

-When you try to even run away from him, he uses his anemo to blow the wind towards him so that your body will fall right into his arms. So when your body collides against his own, you can only smile nervously as he pins you down

-If you even dare try to tckle him back while hes tckling you, he will be absolutely merciless and get you even worse than before.

-His teases has a slight sarcastic tone but its still so flustering qvaniidvdbdjd my midn is meltinwg my body is also [car crash noise]

-Absolutely does tk punishments , which also goes in hand with revenge tckles. if you get his hat , he will tckle you until you give it back, or if you (playfully no ill intent) insult him, he immediatelt goes for your worst spots until you apologize

yeah uh. ahahuwha godddd ler scara is making me melt int he brainajsdbj

-🦋 anon

Ah darn, I can’t make the thing shorter- BUT now I know for the future! Thanks everyone for being so nice and explaining it ^^

Ahem, yes, my favorite Scara provider hehe (don’t apologize for giving me ideas mwah!)

Lee Scara is something that would keep anyone awake at night. And he loves it, it’s like having a black cat. It’s pitch black in the room but you feel the chilling air that somethings in there with you. Then you notice two eyes staring at you…

Also, this is super random. But Scara and Xiao being (in my own opinion) associated with cats… purring? No sorry-?!

[voidselfshipp]

Unearned Blessings For The Damned.

Cw: heavy mentions and discussions of religion,hospital setting.

Summary: Fix-it fic,aftermath of the MNWTD movie.

>only mutuals allowed to reblog.

Jack awoke on the bed of a hospital, he feels light headed and like everything hurts. His eyes slowly blink Open,And finds the bright lights to be horribly bright.

He hisses and he covers his face. He feels then a hand on his forearm that pulls them back and a looming shadow that rescues him from the burn.

--...jerico--He breathes out, seeing the greyish green eyes of his oniric lover meeting his gaze-- The studio! June..oh my god..Gus! Lily!

She cooed,shooshing him to calm him down and breathe.--Theyre okay,theyre fine...

--How...?--He asked,desperate and holding the forearms of the woman.

--You really think the Almighty would let this slide by?

--God?!--Jack sat up,hissing from the again-- You- its..you sound insane!

Jeri couldnt help but laugh--after everything? Really?

He breathes out-- What did I do? Whats the damage?

--Nothing..or not much. The people who died are back,and its like its just all horrible nightmare-- she said,cupping his face-- but you and I know the truth..that seems punishment enough to him.

The Man broke down in sobs,bringing his lover in for a loving hug. Hes so relieved,he feels so guilty,everything hurts but hes so happy.

--Oh thank god...--He said-- How...what else happened?

--Well...You passed out after the intervention, and I brought you here--She pressed her forehead against his and smiled Gently to try and calm him--Youre still going to hell,but ill come visit.

He couldnt help but laugh just a little,god it hurts-- I think by now thats a given...--He added,pulling her closer to him--...Why does everything hurt so much?

Thank god her voice carries over the buzzing lights of the room,it might end up killing him for Real now.

--Youve got hit with the demonic equivalent of a lightning strike...

Jack goes limp in her embrace, his arms lazily wrapped around her waist. --Delightful...

--But everything is fine...--She reassured--Youve still got your TV show,and youre still here with me.

--I cant believe that after everything,my silver lightning is a demoness--He tried joke to cope with all the things hes suffered. He cups her face and gives her a gentle,loving kiss. Like her lips are the brittle wings of a butterfly--I think im done with the TV...with the world in general...

His companion sighed-- Are you,though?--she asked,gaining no answer--Im here,if you need another guest that wont cause....this.

--I wouldnt want to expose you this way..

--I am what I am,hon-- she insisted,fixing his hair when she pulled him back a little-- But I want to help you.

Jack smiled, eyes teary-- Why do I still deserve you? Why does he allow you to stay with me?

--The lord does not strangle, he squeezes I guess?-- She sits beside him,taking his hands-- You'll be here for a good while,but ill take care of you.

--Thank you so much,dearest.

--Of course,Jackie. Lay down and sleep,ill be here when you wake up--Her fingers Gently stroke his scalp-- Breathe,hon. Rest.

Jerico smiled and sees her lover relax, its good. This is good. She worried he might take it way worse, she saw everything that happened and ran from her home to the studio.

Shes glad the human world lives to see another day. Internally,she thanks God. And she thinks he can hear her well.

The lord in his kindness has given her,has give him the only thing they needed...eachother.

--I know he is condemned..but please take care of him--She whispered,well under her breath to not disturb the sleeping Man--please,please...I love him so much..and he loves me just as...

Yet to forget what communion feels like,she can tell her request was seen and heard. She says her thanks,and keeps watch over her lover.

When Jack reccuperated,he began to understand that his punishment was way worse. He remembers everything, he knows the truth and its maddening. His punishment is to struggle to Keep his sanity.

But aside from that,hes been given blessings he knows well he does not deserve. Like the love of his partner,and the fact he can stay in their home to finish healing up.

After everything hes done,he cant give up on the show. So until hes back on his feet,he can revel in the comfort of the appartment hes in right now.

Maximalist is the proper Word. A house thats more of a personal museum ,yet still a cozy home. He rests in the room of his lover,her black cat purring up a storm with its head on his. The hum of the feline helps him feel less rested.

--So much fan mail...--He complained..seeing all the cards with well wishes. Jerico was just entering the room,a tray of tea and food on her hands.

--Youre still dearly beloved,it May be a blessing in disguise...and youre off the charts rating wise..youre back--She smiled,aware still of the pain that came with it.

--I appreciate the fans and all but..--He sets down the mail-- I just want you,and our life together.

--Youre a Sap...I love you--She sits beside him,and he does the same.

--Sorry,sorry sweetie--Jack said to the cat as he pulled away from its loving cuddle. He sounds so soft, so like himself now.

She knows he isnt a bad Man,fame could be quite the incentive. He got desperate...and he learnt from his mistakes,the world doesnt know...and she is almost ready to forgive him.

--And...thank you sugar--He said to his lover,kissing her cheek. He takes one of the cups on the tray that rests on her legs. Jeri takes one of the mugs too and uses her free arm to wrap around his bicep. Her head leans on his shoulder a little as both drink.

--Its nothing--her lips are glossy with tea.

--I love you .

--I love you too

Jack kisses her forehead and pulls her closer to him,being mindful of the tray. He sighs and allows himself to forget for the time being of everything he lived.

As his eyes caught the glimpse of those of his lover...he knew things would begin to look up eventually.

Hoping its worth something, he thanks god too for this blessing he knows hes not worthy of. For the first time in so long he reaches for the remote and turns on the TV. Maybe both can have a bit of a movie day together,just this once.

Oh,The grin she gives him tells that shes happy hes fighting against his trauma. He meets her gaze and smiles just a little,hes an adorable Man.

--Things Will look up--He reassured,trusting her words --They have to.

His lover nodded-- they Will,yeah. We're together...

It made him answered a--Then they are bound to be okay-- Both giggle,without dropping their gaze. Then,both go to watch some mild,white comedy movie to distract themselves.

Life will return to normal. Maybe its already going better than they think. Who cares when they both have eachother?

[ts-janus-rp-blog]

"HM... PRETTY SURE YOU HAVENT FUCKED UP AS BADLY AS I HAVE. I CAUSED US BOTH TO DIE. YOU CAN'T FUCK UP WORSE THAN THAT. SO I BEAT YOU." The voice chuckled softly at that.

Janus frowned deeply, but he let him go. Not before sliding on the floor with his back to the door...and curling up in a ball. He prayed and prayed to mother Moon that hell be okay. He knows what he's doing. He'll be fine...

"REALLY? HUH. WED BOTH BE ADULTS BY NOW... KINDA SAD I DIDNT SEE ROMAN GROW UP TO BE ONE... NOW WE'RE BOTH STUCK IN THESE BODIES. OH WELL. CULTISTS? BUT YOU SAID THEY WERE CHRISTIANS RIGHT? ARE THEY ONE IN THE SAME? I... YEAH... IT WAS... IT WAS... AND I COULDN'T PROTECT ROMAN..."

"PREFER TO BE CALLED? HM... SPOOKY DEMON DOES SOUND COOL, BUT ROMAN WONT LIKE IT. WE NEVER HAD NAMES WHEN WE WERE ALIVE. BUT ROMAN HEARD ADULTS SAY THAT NAME ONCE AND LIKED IT. AND HE HEARD THE NAME REMUS AND STARTED CALLING ME THAT. SO... YOU CAN CALL ME REMUS? HM, I DONT THINK IT GETS OLD. BUT I UNDERSTAND. YOUR NAME IS PATTON, CORRECT?"

At pattons response to his question, the dark form before him opened his mouth and started to laugh. That laugh echoed through the room, it echoed into pattons very soul.

"YOU COULD'VE JUST SAID YES BUT YOU WONT HURT ME. THAT WAS ONE DRAWN OUT RESPONSE. I WANTED TO KNOW IF YOUD HURT ME OR NOT. MOST HUMANS HURT THE THINGS THAT THEYRE SCARED OF, AFTER ALL."

A tentacle can be heard sliming it's way over to the wall, then a light bulb turned on above the demon boy. Now that Patton could see, it was certainly a sight to behold. The ground was covered in dried caked on blood. There were a few gurneys with restraints on them in the corner. And judging by the way it smells in here...there is most likely the boys bodies hidden away in that corner as well. That's...disturbing.

But what was most disturbing was the demon in front of Patton.

This demon was massive, about the size of the room itself. It had long limbs with extremely long fingers and claws. And it's body was similar in shape to an upside down human corpse. It's ribs were sticking up into the air, cracked open with dried blood pooling down from it. It's legs resemble animal legs. It had a long tentacle tail, and these tentacles wrapped around its underbelly. It's face was an upside down human face with massive horns sticking up, but its neck stretched out so much that it was able to turn it's head around.

"OH, MY NORMAL FORM IS PROBABLY TOO SCARY FOR YOU, AINT IT? SORRY. ILL CHANGE."

All it took was one night. One night for all of humanity to fall.

And for supernatural creatures to rule over earth.

Course, it didn't really happen overnight. It was careful planning between all supernatural creatures over the course of many years. They had to group together in their bitterness of being forced into the darkness for them to attack.

But, now they are on top of the food chain.

And humans are hunted for their meat...or to be made as pets.

One such hunting group is now on the prowl in a forgotten huge mall. In this hunting group is a werewolf named Janus. He didn't want to be here. He didn't like hunting for humans like this. He didn't even like hunting for humans. But he is forced to by his alpha. And it's either follow what his alpha says...or get banished from the pack. Janus knows that he won't be able to survive by himself, even if he could hunt for humans. He can't take down any humans by himself. He needs help. And it's hard even hunting for other types of food by himself-

Janus paused when he heard a faint footstep in one of the backroom offices. His ears rose tall as he hesitantly stepped into the office hallways.

"hello? I don't mean any harm... Listen, if you work with me I can help you out of here... But you need to work with me."

Patton had always been reckless. His older brother Logan reminded him of it enough, as did all his other friends and family. But he'd been good so far, after the Collapse. Logan kept him close, and they found a small group of survivors who'd been like family to them. They worked together, built a small civilization, had a home for once. And Patton was content.

And then Logan was left to die somewhere else, and Patton had... overreacted. He sold them out, recklessly, which bought him some fortune with the group of wolves he'd fed, but left him alone and hiding in fear for his life.

He hadn't expected the wolves to follow him with cooing voices, expecting him to stay with them as their pet and bait. He hadn't expected them to trap him in the mall with no food, water, or chance of escape. He hadn't expected them to turn his hiding spot into a temporary nest.

And now? He was starving, and tired, and only alive cause of adrenaline and the idea that the wolves would find a way to drag him back once they found his body. He wanted out, he wanted free, he wanted to finally see Logan again...

He was wandering in the offices when he heard the voice, having been reckless from starvation. He knew of a small stash of safe food some other poor soul had left, but it was so far from his tiny vent of safety that he hadn't bothered. But he thought it would be safe, cause they'd checked so recently. And now, he's trapped, silent and shaking and praying to a god who never existed in the first place that the wolf would go away long enough to hide in his little hole again.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

december 18 - chris motionless

title: die hard for the holidays

++++

prompt: Person A has secret feelings for person B. person B has secret feelings for person A. one of them suggests having dinner together for the holidays since neither of them will be spending time with their families and all their other friends are busy

request from: @svintsandghosts

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou 

@xyours-eternallyx @joeynihil 

++++

i looked over his newest Instagram post and sighed. god was i that desperate? simping over my best friend? of course i was, but we'd known each other long enough that i knew nothing would ever come of it. when my phone dinged it almost startled me, prompting me to look up at the new text notification. it was my mother. i sighed, opening it and reading it.

"dads sick, doctor says its viral so we wont be able to do Christmas this year. i hope you and your siblings can get together to do something else but if not that's okay. we both hope you have a blessed Christmas anyway and will be mailing gifts out in the next week. love you."

i hummed to myself before answering her.

"hope dad gets better soon and send him my best. i don't see any of them making plans to get together but i guess we'll see. ill mail gifts too if you're okay with that and hopefully ill see you in the new year. love you both."

i closed my phone and set it upside down on my chest, rubbing my hands over my face.

"so much for getting out of the house."

i said to myself. then my phone dinged again, making me roll my eyes in annoyance. to my surprise though it was a text from Chris.

"mom cancelled Christmas this year cause they won a cruise lol. you doing anything?"

i sat up abruptly and typed back.

"my dads sick so mine was cancelled too. when and where do you want me? lol"

i waited patiently for a second before seeing a new message.

"hope he gets better soon. but how about Christmas eve, dinner at my place?"

i nodded quickly to myself.

"ill be there."

---

when the day finally came i wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. we'd hung out millions of times but this was the first time we'd be together for Christmas alone. usually we all had a party with the band and other friends but that was pushed to new years. lets just say i was beyond nervous. plus he told me to dress nice, whatever that meant. no matter what it meant to him, here i was stood in front of my full body mirror, looking over the sparkling blue velvet dress i had on.

"this is too fancy."

i said, moving to my closet. as i started flipping through things i heard my phone buzz. it was Chris.

"you on your way?"

i looked to the time. shit, it was almost six.

"getting my shoes on now. ill be there in fifteen."

i replied. so much for changing. i grabbed a Christmas jumper and pajama pants just in case and shoved them in a bag, pulling my heels on and running out the door. the car ride was fairly quiet, apart from the light Christmas music playing through the radio and my complains about the snow. i wish i would've known it was supposed to snow but it was a little late for that i guess.

as i pulled into his apartment complex parking lot i could see his Christmas tree through the open window. it looked nice, covered in colorful lights and shiny ornaments. i got out of my car and walked quickly across the lot and up the stairs to the second floor, knocking on his door and shivering as the snow flew around me. when he opened the door he offered a wide smile.

"hey! how's it going?"

he asked as he pulled me in for a hug. i breathed in deeply, trying to warm up.

"I'm good, and you?"

i asked as he let me into his apartment. i still felt over dressed, even seeing him in his button down and tie, the two peaking out from under his sweater.

"oh ya know, same old same old. i hope you're hungry, cause dinners about ready."

he said excited and i laughed.

"you know me, never not hungry."

i said and he sent me a knowing look.

"how about you go sit, and ill bring it out."

he said, motioning to the made up table. i nodded.

"you sure you dont want help with anything?"

i asked and he shook his head.

"of course not, you get to be the guest this time, now go relax."

he instructed.

"okay, okay, im going."

i said as he pointed, a demanding look on his face.

---

after dinner we both worked on dishes and things before moving to the couch, the lights all out except the tree as he looked for a movie to watch.

"im glad we could get together for this."

he said, clicking the remote and i smiled.

"you and me both. i think this is the first year i would've been alone since moving out of my parents place."

he laughed a little bit.

"you and me both. even when im not home i still usually have the band to be with."

i nodded solemnly.

"speaking of which, how are they all doing? i feel like i haven't talked to any of them in a while."

i said and he shrugged.

"theyre as good as they always are, keeping busy thats for sure. but youll get to see them for new year."

he mentioned and i nodded.

"yeah i guess so."

it was quiet for a moment, and i looked over him, his focus still on the tv.

"got any suggestions?"

he asked and i hummed.

"uh, no, not really."

i said bashfully, catching his eye when he turned his head with a frown. i guess i wasnt exactly making it subtle that i was staring at him huh? oh well.

"how about die hard?"

he asked and i laughed.

"oh yeah, a christmas classic."

i said sarcastically as he clicked on it.

"you know it."

he said, setting the remote on the coffee table, settling back into the couch. i thought for a second before slipping my arm into his and resting my head on his shoulder.

"you cold?"

he asked and i nodded, looking up as he pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and down over me.

"thanks."

i said, getting comfortable against him again. we sat like that for most of the movie, until i heard him yawn, then he moved to rest his head against mine. i smiled to myself, sliding my hand slowly into his as it rested against my knee. when the movie finally ended neither of us moved.

"ya know, it looks pretty bad out there, maybe you should stay."

he said, never once looking away from the tv. i could feel a small smile making its way to my lips as we sat there cuddled together on the couch.

"you sure? i wouldnt want to be an inconvenience."

i said, feeling his head lift off mine and prompting me to look at him. he squeezed my hand.

"you're never an inconvenience. and besides i wouldnt want you to get stuck in the snow or anything."

i smiled at him.

"i guess i cant argue with that logic, huh."

i confirmed and he nodded his head once.

"great, we can watch another movie then and then go to bed together."

he said, freezing for a second.

"i mean, uh, not together together. but, like, uh-"

he said, flustered, tripping over his words. i pressed a finger to his lips gently.

"its okay chris. i get what you mean."

i said and he sighed.

"fuck it, i did mean together."

he said, slipping his hand out of mine and bring it up to cup my face. he pushed forward and kissed me fervently. a thousand things rushed through my brain at once as i melted into his touch but at the moment none of them mattered. all that mattered was that he felt the same. when he pulled away i didnt open my eyes just yet, sitting there trying to engrave into my memory exactly what he felt and tasted like. when i opened my eyes he was staring down at me, his lips sucked in like he messed something up.

"wow."

i said softly, laughing a little bit.

"im sorry, i shouldn't have done that."

he said, looking down. i shook my head.

"like hell."

i said, making him look to me in shock. i grabbed his face and kissed him again, his hand moving to the back of my head as our mouths moved together. when we both pulled away for air we panted lightly, smiling at each other like idiots.

"it took ya long enough."

i said, making him laugh.

"merry christmas y/n."

he said, stroking my cheek lightly with his thumb and i could feel a blush rising to my face.

"merry christmas chris."

[springfieldblues]

my long ass review for S32E03 Now Museum, Now You Don’t

warning: LONG because i rambled about history more than i thought i would

id been looking forward to this one because i like art history, especially after seeing how they tried their best to stick to historical accuracy in the previous episode I, Carumbus. this time however….they didnt try that hard. i dont know why i thought theyd go through that sort of trouble again LMAO

but its okay, i dont really expect the simpsons to be the paragon of historical accuracy or anything. especially in anthology episodes told through a particular character's lens (in this case, lisa, whos already feverish so whatever)

first i just wanna say that this is, i guess, less of a review and more of an accidental list of history fun facts. so im just gonna get my general thoughts out of the way first.

the episode was fun! to me at least haha. i mean it got me to think and do a lot of research on my own so that must count for something. besides a couple of really weird ones, the jokes were good. anthology episodes tend to be….not that good but i thought this one was one of the better ones so far. idk.

anyway on to lisanardo da vinky its the renaissance! jesus christ the italian accents in the beginning of this segment were annoying as hell but i also feel like that was the joke lmao. ill be real i kind of tuned out for a second there when grampa started rambling so idk what he said.

i told myself i wouldnt get nitpicky with historical accuracy if the jokes were funny (final edit: so that was a lie) but this meh bit with the pizza guys and mascots was really not worth ignoring the fact that its impossible for italy to have any tomato-based food in the 15th century (tomatoes were brought to europe from the americas in the 16th century, and pizza as we know it today—flatbread, cheese, tomato—originated in the late 18th century)

oh this next part was kind of legit tho. lisanardo, like the real leonardo, became andrea del verrochio's apprentice at his workshop. i loved this next bit:

"Whoever paints the sweetest cherub will have the honor of having MY name signed on their work. That's what great artists do!"

SO YEAH as it turns out, lisanardo painted the sweetest cherubs. the painting here is called The Baptism of Christ, and the real leonardo assisted verrochio in finishing it. specifically, he painted the cherubs in the corner.

this causes verrochio to quit and go someplace with less talented people: a music school (yes, verrochio did quit painting after getting owned by young leo and his mad angel painting skills. he never did anything with music tho, he was more of a sculptor)

alongside lisanardo, in mr largo-verrochio's workshop we have barticelli (botticelli bart), dolphatello (donatello dolph), ralphael (raphael...ralph) and mediocrito (no one that i know of. sorry milhouse) (and kearney i guess but they dont refer to him by name). botticelli and donatello are said to have also been apprentices at verrochio's workshop, but raphael came a couple of decades later so he couldnt have been there. and donatello was too old so that claim is a bit questionable. but anyway

it IS true that leonardo's peers envied him, to the point where he was anonymously and purposefully accused of being gay (a major crime punishable by death in 15th century florence) while he was still working at verrochio's workshop

we are then treated by what im pretty sure is the fourth time the show has used 'at seventeen' by janis ian, this time sung by a dejected lisanardo (man they really do keep making yeardley sing these days huh) who only wishes to be appreciated and not envied.

"I'll show them all! I'll show them all in a secret diary that no one will decipher for 400 years!"

some of lisanardo's future inventions. who wouldve known

so after barticelli, for some reason (revenge??? or something?? what was his plan here idgi) steals lisanardo's diaries full of blueprints of her inventions and takes them to mr burns who i have to assume is pope alexander VI here, they decide to use her inventions for war.

"With these, we can kill the most evil people in the world!! ....Slightly different Christians."

leo actually did this of his own accord. im surprised this is what they decided to do with lisanardo instead of talking about leo's love of nature and vegetarianism (not a single mention of that in this episode? come on...) then again, trying to do good only to end up indirectly making things worse is a very standard lisa storyline. i guess they didnt want to miss the chance to have evil pope burns (very fitting, especially for that era since they were all about money and controlling the people)

so lisanardo decides to leave for france, unlike the real leonardo who was more or less persuaded by his ultimate fanboy king francis I to move to france.

"Lisanardo, I have many questions. Why are you hitting yourself? A nerd says 'what'? And how is it possible that I am rubber and you are glue? Et cetera, et cetera."

that line may seem a little random, like hes just nelson saying nelson things (and i mean, obviously he is) but the real francis also "had an unquenchable thirst for learning, and Leonardo was the world’s best source of experimental knowledge. He could teach the king about almost any subject there was to know, from how the eye works to why the moon shines." so yeah, he did have many questions and lisanardo, finally being appreciated for her intellect, was happy to answer them all. its very interesting how lisa assigned this role to nelson in her retelling of da vinci’s life :^)

and so she lived the rest of her days in france, nat king cole's 'mona lisa' plays because duh, and they make a da vinci code reference because duh. and the segment ends. and not a single time did they show the actual mona lisa painting. the fuck?

(ngl i was fully expecting bart to say 'leonardo da vinky' for a second here)

so this next segment is about french impressionist painters, most likely the batignolles group, a name adopted by the early representatives of impressionism. its much more vague than the lisanardo segment since no one here is referred to by name (except moe, more on him in a sec) but i dont feel like it really matters in this case. bart is prrrrooobably claude monet but its hard to say, this segment is kind of a mish-mash of a lot of things. also i gotta say i really liked how lisa introduced the story to bart with an 'if you hate the formal study of art' and not 'if you hate art' because thats exactly my headcanon. i LOVE the concept of artist bart and whenever its referenced it just makes perfect sense to me.

anyway the segment opens in 1863 at the école des beaux-arts (back then it was actually known as the académie des beaux-arts), preserver of traditional french art styles. skinner reviews his students’ paintings one by one. praises the plain, unimaginative paintings depicting your typical european countryside landscapes. very run-of-the-mill (haha get it...cuz theres….a windmill) (although the real académie didnt approve of such basic stuff, they wanted artists to draw epic historical and mythological scenes) then he gets to barts painting and he gives him an F- because the painting made him think.

(the paintings in this scene arent real famous paintings as far as i know but they are inspired by real paintings enough to get the point across)

in comes barney dressed as bacchus as a model for the students to sketch, which i just loved:

barney: “You prefer robe open or robe off?” skinner: “Just cover your privates with this walnut shell.” barney: “Whoa!!! So roomy!”

skinner gasps in horror at bart’s sketch, which “looks nothing like him” and bart explains that “it shouldn’t; we’re making the art that we feel because we can’t compete with a camera.” damn, you go bart. take that, realism. draw what you feel!!

(also no, you didnt need to hold still for 17 hours for a daguerreotype. 30 min tops.)

nelson haw-haw of the week: FOIE-gras!

so here they are at the moulin rouge (“enjoy it before baz luhrmann ruins it” hey shut up. i love that movie), which wouldnt be built for another 26 years, but it is the most widely known gathering place for bohemians in the public consciousness so i can understand why they went with the moulin. nelson delivers this anachronistic line:

“This époque keeps getting beller and beller!”

which alludes to la belle époque, the golden age of france usually dated from 1880 to 1914. made me snort so ill let that slide

and heres moe! as henri de toulouse-lautrec, who was actually born a year after the year this segment is set in. yo moe szyslak he was just 1

toulouse-moetrec introduces himself as the chronicler of the demimonde (not an actual job). an iconic figure associated with the moulin rouge (largely due to his affinity for alcohol and prostitutes), toulouse-lautrec was also a painter, having illustrated a series of posters for the moulin himself. he simply had to be in this segment, anachronisms be damned, just because they decided to include the moulin. cant have one without the other.

and yes he did have a walking cane where he kept his liquor.

i love how everyone drinks absinthe in this place. theyre bohemians what else would they drink

toulouse-moetrec points out that barts paintings are the greatest thing hes ever seen (and hes seen like five things!) and that hes a genius. milhouse realizes that they should stop doing what the teacher says and use their own minds to instead...start doing what bart says lmao. to the easels!

next we have skinner hyping up chalmers about the art his students made for the salon de paris, an art exhibition that the emperor of france will attend. he assures him that none of these paintings will encourage debate, provoke thought or be out of place at a dentist’s office. when they unveil the art, theyre both SHOCKED at how scandalous the paintings actually are.

this reaction was kind of accurate. impressionism was severely rejected at the salon de paris, due to paintings not looking finished enough to them, they thought they were ugly and vulgar for depicting nudity in a contemporary setting (historical and mythological nudity was fine). these impressionist paintings were sent to the salon de refusés, which is. yeah. the place where they sent the rejects. the salon de refusés does not make an appearance but this scene makes a reference to it when the artists get expelled from the royal salon. also:

“What about our student loans?” “Oh they’ll be refunded. We are not barbarians, I mean, come on.”

(god if only)

so the painters are down because they want the emperor to actually see their paintings. toulouse-moetrec pipes in once again with an idea.

“There is one thing the emperor loves more than anything.” “France?” “No, he hates France.”

apparently the emperor really loves cheese, which makes sense since its napoleon III (who loved cheese) and homer (who loves cheese.) so the painters roll into the salon inside a giant wheel of cheese (obviously.) as lenny said, “Eh, you know French cheese. Very runny.” napoleon III chases after the wheel into a room, where the wheel falls apart after getting chomped on by the emperor. now that they got his attention, the painters proudly show the emperor their impressionist art, which he couldnt be more indifferent about because he just wants to eat his cheese dammit, and he awards them with the royal medallion just to kind of get them out of his way. skinner immediately starts kissing ass (as he does) until marge’s like ‘hey wait a minute. you expelled these students from the royal salon’ and an executioner immediately starts ominously measuring skinners neck.

“Uh, sir...is your tongue sticking out because you’re dead or because you’re mad at me?”

and thats the end of that lmao (gore in this episode, gore in the last episode, and next week we’re getting gore too cuz its THOH, what the hell is goin on)

we get a short intermission with maggie, who wants a story for her too! lisa tells her that renaissance artists loved to put babies in their paintings, especially baby angels.

here she is showing her The Triumph Of Galatea by raphael:

King David Playing The Harp by peter paul reubens:

and a very simplified version of pretty much any depiction of hell by hyeronimus bosch lmao:

not much else to say about this one, really. but i really liked that sky!

the last segment is about frida kahlo and diego rivera. or as bart puts it ‘the one about a fat guy whos wife is too good for him.’ i was REALLY looking forward to this one because i love frida and i thought itd be a cool opportunity for animators to go bonkers and do really cool shit with her art as inspiration…..but the segment is not about frida, its about diego and his selling out to capitalism. and its also yet another story with homer and marge drama. no funky cool animation here. sigh i guess i’ll take it

the story begins in 1929 at la casa azul, frida’s home (now museum dedicated to her life and work.) frida and diego are getting married. this courtyard definitely did not look this way yet back in 1929. also theres something very cringy yet funny about lovejoy saying spanish words the way he does, i honestly cant decide how i feel about that one

the writers know theyre being cringy with their gringoness so they go along with it.

moe: “Spanish for ‘best wishes’!” mel: “Spanish for ‘congratulations’!” bumblebee man: “Spanish for ‘muy bueno’!”

OH YEAH BUMBLEBEE MAN this is his new voice actor, eric lopez! hes not mexican but its still great to finally have a latino actor voicing a latino character and hes very excited to be part of the show so i hope to hear more of him!! im rooting for him

el barto/zorro makes an appearance which i am very confused about. he has jack shit to do with frida and diego and mexico in the 20s-30s. el zorro was set in the spanish california of the early 19th century. their use of the original theme song makes me think they just wanted to flex their disney privileges tbh

lets not talk about that that whole scene was bad

anyway diego announces he and frida are going to new york, without even asking her first. frida is obviously pissed.

“Don’t worry, as a woman, you’ll be treated with much more respect in America.”

so in new york, diego is having a bit of a business meeting with mr burns as one of the members of the rockefellers, who is commissioning him to draw a mural for the rockefeller center. its kinda funny how he refers to him and frida as socialists even though they were very much communists lmao its okay you can say it. ok so far, but then frida says ‘yes, we hate the capitalists! right now, a young socialist is being born who will take them down! mr. bernie sanders. i hope hes quick about it’ and that was a simple enough joke and couldve been left at that but then its immediately followed by this weird as fuck family guy-esque cutaway gag to bernie as a baby:

“Getting a cootie shot should not cost your lunch money. And if you don’t listen to me, listen to the Bernie Babies! What? Everybody’s got goons.” *larger babies start beating up this other baby* “I disavow that, and welcome it.”

this confused me so much that i had to ask one of my american friends to help me understand, but even she was like ‘uhhh yeah thats a weird joke,’ especially now that hes been out of the race for months (then again these episodes take almost a year to produce. i guess they couldnt be bothered to replace it with something more relevant.) whatever that was weird and confusing and unfunny moving on

frida is pretty irked that diego is going through with this deal. after all, it goes against everything they believe in. im not sure how the real frida felt about diego doing the mural, but she did feel a bit of rage during her visit to the united states, especially the obvious disparity between rich and poor. she hated having to interact with capitalists and found americans very boring. in this segment, frida seems to be acting more like the american communist party, which diego got kicked out of for accepting commissions from wealthy patrons. in any case, frida is pretty upset about this whole thing.

and finally we get the first and only kind of surreal frida moment. kinda. maybe. its more cartoonish than anything but im desperate ok

interesting how they felt like they had to add a “don’t smoke” in big letters after showing patty and selma flying away on their giant cigarettes. i wonder if this is something theyre making them do now? i remember hearing something about them toning down patty and selma’s smoking

diego comes home to frida, drunk as hell, followed by the marx brothers. i cant believe they didnt make a marxism joke come on it was RIGHT THERE. THE MARX BROTHERS. KARL MARX. COME ON

frida paints her feelings.

this makes diego realize that frida is a genius and he is not half the artist she is. he proclaims he will now show his awe of her by sleeping with other women, starting “an hour ago.” to which frida replies, “and i will start sleeping with other women, starting two hours ago.” yes this was pretty much their relationship. though im just wondering how the hell did diego not know frida was this kind of artist until now? i know homers an idiot but jeez. art was how frida and diego met, diego knew from the get-go that frida was an incredible artist. i guess the fame got to his head or something. again, homer just being stupid.

“well enough already, while the art is still deco, okay?”

its time for the mural diego painted, Man At The Crossroads, to be unveiled:

rockefeller examines it. good and great so far, and then...uh oh

“Who’s that fellow…? With the beard, and the bolshevik smile…” “That’s the founder of Soviet Russia, Lenin!”

“B-b-but he’s a communist!” “Oh he just attended a couple of meetings.”

rockefeller will not have this communist in the temple to capitalism that is the rockefeller center, so he orders diego to paint over it. diego stands his ground and refuses. despite rockefeller’s threats, diego says that theres only one person he wants to be proud of him no matter what and in true homer & marge fashion, frida is touched by this. they happily leave the rockefeller center.

now, the real story of Man At The Crossroads and the rockefeller center was actually not that different. as soon as the rockefellers found out diego had snuck in a portrait of lenin into the mural, they ordered him to paint over it, to which he refused. diego even offered to include abraham lincoln and even american abolitionists in the mural as a compromise, but the rockefellers simply did not want any references to communism whatsoever. they did not complain about the hammer and sickle, though. yes, they did know diego was a communist and hired him anyway. what did they expect? lmao. diego said:

"Rather than mutilate the conception [of the mural], I shall prefer the physical destruction of the conception in its entirety, but preserving, at least, its integrity."

so they decided to destroy the mural before it was even finished and they never talked to each other again.

diego then repainted the mural at the palacio de bellas artes back in mexico, this time known as Man, Controller of the Universe. this new version included even more communist leaders and a depiction of john d. rockefeller jr. drinking at a nightclub, right underneath a depiction of syphilis bacteria. cue nelson haw-haw:

this was the version they used in the episode also, since the original was, well, never finished and also destroyed. only a black and white photograph of it exists, taken by diego before it was destroyed so he could remake it.

right so, homer!diego then pulls a Barthood and finishes the episode with a large mural summarizing the entire episode. he says some rick and morty thing i didnt get because i dont watch the show idk idc

the end

ALRIGHT NOW ITS TIME FOR THE STORY OF VINCENT VAN MOE

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

[xamaxenta]

They all sorta meet in the middle regarding a relationship together

Sabo remains “unemployed” the entire time but he keeps his promises, accompanies Marco in the shadows to keep him safe, secures the house by checking what Ace had set up and adds his own because if he can get in undetected so could someone else, as much as he hates to admit it but he’s got a target on his back for all the backstabbing hes done along the way and being here puts Marco in danger too, theyve had this discussion and Marco is surprisingly ok with it all

Ace didnt really have much input just requesting Sabo keeps Marco safe and out of his business or there will be hell to pay

Sabo learns to cook more things than just chicken alfredo, its nice for Marco to come home to see someone waiting for him, sometimes its a surprise and both Ace and Sabo are there, but its nice to not have to think about what to make for dinner after his hospital shifts

Sabo tells Marco stories of his past jobs, excluding all the potential torture and killing he’s had to do to get where he is now ofc, Marco still kicks his ass in every video game they play, Sabo teaches Marco how to disarm a generic attacker, knives only because youd be stupid as a civilian to try doing it to someone with a gun Marco teases him like oh yeah ill leave that to professionals like you

Cue Sabo trying not to fluster like shit. Shut up !! Im trying to do a good thing for you and Ace ok ughf

Sabo also helps Ace on his missions, it was a little awkward when Marco lets him use their private secure channel to talk and Ace picks up all smoky voiced, low and sweet sounding like Hey sweetheart

Sabo.exe has ceased functioning and then he remembers he has info on Aces target like UM. SO ITS ME SABO (his voice dID NOT BREAK OK)

Ace: sabo? Wait what the fuck? Wheres marco?

Sabo: s-so (stuttering over himself like a fucking clown sjdhdhs) marcos fine hes been kind to let me speak to you bc i have info

And then its like a switch they both forget the . Embarrassment and immediately become professional and its pretty entertaining to Marco tbh, he doesnt want to romanticise their line of work but its kinda sexy, tbh to see a super spy deliver top secret info in a weird code he thought only worked in movies but Ace seems to know exactly what sabos talking about

It continues like this for a while, Sabo feeds info from his inside networks to Ace whenever its secure to do so or if he thinks it will be valuable, Ace tries not to take too much external help from anyone but his HQ but Sabos intel is really genuinely good shit, sabo does his own recon and scouting (lik dowsing laptop that sort of funky spy stuff)whilst learning to make deep dish pizza or smth Lol

All comes to a head when Ace gets some downtime after being abroad for a month and theyre all watching a lame movie together, kinda tipsy, Sabo suggested a drinking game he once played in germany and theyre all having a great time when Marco and Ace start gettinf handsy, like hands under clothes kinda handsy, maybe thinks its time to leave when one hand misses target and slides up his thigh and Sabo gets up away from the touch like WELP its been fun gentlemen, im kinda tired so imma hit the hay— tries to gracefully extract himself from the situation

When Ace glances at him like arent you staying? Marco catches up after a moment bc he was preoccupied with sucking a dark hickey into Ace’s throat like mm, yeah where are you going? (He touched Sabo on the thigh)

Sabo gapes at them, certain he’s hallucinating like um. Arent you two gonna go fuck each others brains out or smth?

Marco: yeah. Was thinking you could be in the middle

Ace: i don’t usually bottom but, figured we could try it considering you never submit to anyone lmao

Sabo whos never been so blindsided, horny and confused yet willing like. Y EAH okay , sorry to make it weird but are we fucking in my bed or uh yours?

Marco: ours is king size ;3

Sabo: o fuck

Usuehdhswheosjwnrn

[drangues]

ansbwjjcnw I still gotta read it but my motivation to Do New Shit is. So very low right now. All I want are naps. BUT I’m sure an art of Tangled!Dazatsu from you would look really nice, if you decide to draw it! ALSO GOOD LUCK ON YOUR TEST IM ROOTING FOR YOU, make sure you get enough sleep and eat something filling!!! Anyways, let’s be honest- Dazai and Chuuya only get worse when their attention flustered their boyfriends. (Nyanon, 1/7)

This is because (A) they think Flustered BFs are fucking adorable, and also (B) they know this means that their boyfriends haven’t been appreciated much and that means War (on their low self image). Also I love the implication that rich kid!Dazai and Chuuya’s natural reaction to being Pissed at each other is to spoil Atsushi or Akutagawa. It’s great. And! That is: EXACTLY. What I’m saying. (Nyanon, 2/7)

I can imagine them as that one post of the writer and the artist throwing chapters and pictures at each other, ahaha. Dazai practically being the embodiment of a chaotic author is Very Fitting, he writes when he writes and in whatever genre strikes him. No, there’s no need to worry about him, he’s definitely not living on coffee and spite alone. And Atsushi is definitely the type to mostly stick to fluffy drawing, I think! (Nyanon, 3/7)

He can definitely do other things, but he probably finds drawing cute stuff comforting. Also Kyouka likes the super cute ones and he’s pretty much willing to draw whatever to keep the baby sis happy. I also imagine that he’d do commissions? Because it never hurts to have an additional source of income. Except he’s a pushover when people tell him his prices are “too high” or something, so Kyouka has to put her foot down and tell him to Not give in, haha. (Nyanon, 4/7)

(It’s okay Dazai, I’m an attention whore to. I want to be complimented too much.) And! Poor Atsushi, haha, he probably wasn’t expecting his favorite author to say he liked his art? He probably keysmashes and then draws a cute little doodle for another one of Dazai’s fics and then Dazai is just. Gone. Also ten bucks says that their first DM interaction is Dazai saying something memey. It just feels like something he’d do. (Nyanon, 5/7)

And a bonus: Kyouka does really deep analyses of different shows and books and games, and occasionally on fanfiction as well. Kunikida makes a comprehensive, huuuge post on the lore Igor different series because I feel like he’d enjoy doing something like that? Just like, organizing the background and making it more understandable, if that makes sense? I’m not sure what Chuuya would but I get the distinct sense of someone who makes edits and aesthetics from Akutagawa. (Nyanon, 6/7)

Yosano and Ranpo both probably have that weird “list of questionable shit the authors need answers to” blog or something... I’m in too deep. Help. But! Have another Concept: Faking dating jealousy cliche, with Dazatsu and Chuuaku. Basically, Chuuya decides that he and Atsushi should pretend to be a couple to see if it’ll get their crushes attention. Cue confusion and jealousy from Dazai and Akutagawa, who may or may not have realized their own feelings. (Nyanon, 7/7)

dude dont worry i was joking there no pressure!! and felt. right now im so sleep deprived and studying for a test and i have oTHER ASSIGNMENTS TO DO- its all draining, and i mainly feel bad because i havent posted any art, but i do know that fandom is not a job but a hobby and its okay that i take my time

also kyouka being his number one supporter is just!! so!! cute!!! in my opinion kyouka would be that very young but hella good with technology in the fandom like, she would make gifs and edits in an INSTANT and when everyone learns shes fourteen theyre like W H A T?? either way, shes the one who probably shows atsushi the ropes of digital art and has the vibes of that young tech person in a show that definitely can hack into any government files. (as a joke she would most definitelly do an edit of “dazai” except its just screenshots of his fics and some lines here and there with some dramatic effects and sexy music. atsushi wont admit that he has it downloaded)

dazais way to start a conversation is definitely sending a random meme to get it going, since atsushi would be too shy to initiate conversations

also kyouka doing deep analysises is so her!! she would probably even start a youtube channel where she explains everything in that robot voice and funny editing but no one can lie that all her videos are very in depth.

OH GOD KUNIKIDA IS THE TYPE TO GATHER ALL THE FACTS OF A SHOW, POST ABOUT IT. EXPLAIN THE MAGIC SYSTEM FOR ANYONE THATS CONFUSED. IF THERES AN ANIME WITH A CONFUSING PLOT THAT YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN?? KUNIKIDA IS YOUR MAN. HE CAN EXPLAIN ALL OF JOJO SEAMLESSLY AND DOES MANY REVIEWS ON ANIMES AND GATHERS ALL SORTS OF LORES MEANWHILE YOSANO AND RANPO ARE THE MORE CRACKHEADED ANALYSTS (when the three collab its just kunikida trying to be serious while yosano and ranpo do the fuckboy lip bite behind him and then throw in jokes and “author if you do not explain why these two characters are a little too fruity ill personally use my chainsaw on you” “why are these two siblings even together, wHY ARE THEY IN THE SAME BED-”)

dude. i feel like chuuya and atsushi would fake date and it would be for akutagawa. atsushi definitely wants to tell dazai about this but chuuya is afraid dazai will run his dumb mouth, plus when they “announce” it chuuya just Sees how dazais demeanor changes and is like “you know what,,lets keep this up” (either way akutagawa would end up crying like a loser in front of chuuya and chuuya would feel so bad for even fake dating to make him jealous meanwhile dazai is just mad that he couldnt have internalised his feelings and bottle them up “you just H A D to date the slug, my biggest pet peeve!!! if it was anyone else i wouldve MAYBE let it sLIDE-”)

[richietoaster]

Review/Reaction of IT Chapter Two

Let’s just start right off the bat and let me just say that Bill Hader better get a fucking award for his performance.

Alright. Here we go y’all. im trying to stay in order with what happened but so much happened in the movie that my brain is just all over the place so excuse me while i try to form words

UNDER THE CUT CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS

• first opening scene is a fucking LOT okay like i sobbed my eyes out and it was just not cool. adrian and his boyfriend? CUTE AF. Him getting brutally beat up and then killed by Pennywise while Don just watches? NOT CUTE AF

• Mike is a precious boy and I love him so. He cares about his friends so much holy shit. they all get mad at him for lying to them tho.But he only did it to protect them. Mike knew some SHIT(tm) our boy is so smart?? I’m glad they kept to his original storyline

• Older Bill gave himself so much shit this film and i just felt so bad. like we know it isnt ur fault okay?? We know you loved your brother, stop putting yourself down. also?? him becoming protective over dean? please stop my aching heart. 

• Jessica Chastain owns my whole heart and she can kick my ass anyday. She plays Bev so well and captures young bev’s personality so well. her scene with mrs kersh was very weird. i knew the second she ran naked in the hall i’d be seeing some weird fucking shit okay 

• Jay Ryan could kick me and I would personally thank him like?? wow what a man. He immediately recognizes bev when he first sees her and im just?? im happy. so many hidden new kids on the block reference and it had me fucking rolling in my grave

• JAMES FUCKING RANSONE MY DUDE OH LORD okay listen. he gives off young eddie’s panic and chaotic energy so perfectly i felt like i was watching him as an adult, who just never grew up. I think thats what he was going for honestly. He played eddie SO FUCKING WELL 

• I’m so sad about stan. THats all you need to know okay. I’ll talk about his letter later on in this. Stan deserved better. that’s all. 

• if you are not a fan of vomit you’re not gonna enjoy richie tozier. literally any time something bad happens hes just like ah shit here we go again *vomits* and honestly? that made me laugh. like hes just like oh shit something is happening let.. let me just.. no no its fine guys ill catch up.. EHBWFIJHDFSIJ no okay but bill hader stole the fucking show. his acting was phenomenal and,, again,, i’ll add more onto that later. 

• richie scares the shit out of dean. because he thinks hes pennywise. but can you blame him? the kid just. stared at him all creepy and shit. but its so funny. the losers make fun of him bc he doesnt know his own lines from his acts and richies just like “I dont write my own material” and eddies just like “I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT” dead. goodbye.

• Young losers were still my favorite part honestly. Eddie kept bouncing that stupid ball in stan’s face in the clubhouse and i was waiting for him to get punched in the face tbh. That didn’t even seem like eddie, that was Jack’s energy bursting through the seams lmfao

• young eddie runs into a fucking box and shrieks and if that isn’t me idk ewhdfiajksjdoi 

• THE FUCKING. HAMMOCK. SCENE. okay listen to me. thats gay. hammocks are now gay. gays only. gay interacts only. the bickering between reddie had me in TEARS. eddie kept kicking at his face and just?? casually??? lays on him when richie wont move?? 

• stan’s fucking shower cap ehfdiujasdiosa and then richie being like “nobodys afraid of spiders stanley okay” and eddie slowly removes his because he cares what richie thinks more than spiders ok

• a flashback from after they defeated IT in the first move with reddie “eddie youve been gone for 24 hours your face is most likely on a milk carton by now” “shut up richie” 

• yong Richie has me weak af this whole movie, like always. just getting on Eddie’s case. HE PINES SO HARD OH Y GOD Like wow my sweet boy is so fucking in love ouch. which?? BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT??

• THE ARCADE SCENE?? he checks out the kid standing next to him and tries to get him to hang out more and then the other kid tells him to stop being weird because he’s not gay, too, and then uses the F slur. richie was just so hurt. paul bunyun scene happens after that and hes just like “I just shit my pants” and i cried. 

• pennywise screaming “lets play truth or dare, you wouldnt pick truth! you dont want them to know your secret” gave off the same energy as eddie’s leper blowjob scene from the book. same energy. do with that as you will. 

• they had some flashbacks that included pennywise and im not sure if this was before or after they had defeated IT in the first movie but i interpreted it as after and if thats the case... hes supposed to be dead. but now thinking back on it, it was probably just more scenes before they put pennywise to rest for 27 years. 

• young richie went to the kissing bridge after that and we ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE. fucking.. r + e :((( although we don’t see him carving the E. but reddie is canon so suck toes antis

• stephen king pretty much being like “I know u and ur endings really do suck” to bill when he comes to buy his bike was so fucking funny. it almost felt like a self insert lmfao. ALSO HIM MAKING BILL PAY 300 BUCKS FOR THE BIKE BC HE KNEW HE COULD AFFORD IT? iconic. 

• richie and eddie opening the door to the dog had me laughing. pennywise was just mocking them at that point. they’d be such good dog dads and now im sad

• i was really confused because they added part of stan’s bar mitzvah?? like it wasn’t even the same from the first movie. like they should’ve just put the deleted scene in from ch. 1 and then added that part. thats one of my very few complaints. im slowly hiding them in here. 

• henry bowers was kinda irrelevant in this honestly but thank you eddie for stabbing him and richie for killing him for trying to kill mike yall heroes 

• BEVS BLOOD SCENE ?? CORRESPONDING WITH BENS BURIED ALIVE SCENE? poetic cinema. 10/10

• the big fight really disappointed me in all honesty. but i think thats because andy said he cut so much from there. i expect it to be better with the director’s cut

• eddie saving richie and then immediately being stabbed by pennywise’s claw? IM DEPRESSED.

• “Rich! rich, i did it! i think i killed him!” Our boy was so happy with himself :( 

• eddie’s last words WERE NOT “i fucked your mom”. he was talking to richie and you can hear them talking while the rest are preparing to end pennywise. so im hoping we get that as a deleted scene. 

• richie goes back to help finish pennywise but when he goes to check on eddie.. he’s dead. ://// and bev is like “richie, come on, honey.. im sorry” and richie does not want to believe him. he grabs and hugs eddie so tight i swear i could feel that hug from the audience. 

• another thing im disappointed in and am sliding in is some of the animations? Like. fucking weird. but okay. luckily i didn’t care too much.  

• THE SOB that richie lets out when he holds eddie really hurt my fucking soul jesus christ just kill me

• the losers try cheering him up after and like. thats their friend too but you can just totally tell he’s crying in a different type of grief. THAT WAS HIS FIRST FUCKING LOVE. 

• they all remember after and thats really important to me okay

• stan writes letters and its spoken outloud while the other losers get little montages of what theyre doing with their life after the battle. Richie goes back to the kissing bridge and recarves- YES RECARVES AND YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE THE E BEFORE HE DOES- he recarves the E and while doing it, stan’s voice says “be proud of who you are” and im fucking cry ibg okay

• in the end, i give this movie a 7/10 rating. although some of the animations were weird and some of the flashbacks had pennywise in it (like hes supposed to be currently dead but ok... maybe nightmares??) the actors were PHENOMENAL and the chemistry between older richie and older eddie made me so happy. my ship is canon. but im still sad about stan and eddies death. 

• ignoring canon in 3.. 2.. 1.. now 

[yoon-kooks]

Witch Hazel- Pt.4

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: FanficWriter!Jungkook, Idol!Reader, College!AU, Angst, Fluff

Summary: There are two students in your art class with a secret: you and the quiet Jeon Jungkook. You’re a problematic idol singer, infamous for your ice cold reputation and perpetual resting bitch face; he’s the artist and author behind the viral comic series based on a certain ice queen idol. After a blowup of destructive rumors, lost motivation and inevitable solitude, you stumble upon Jungkook’s comic and find a new and unexpected light.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: none

Parts: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // ?

A/N: my hope is that the idol industry can one day become a safer place for those who have dedicated their lives to making others happy ❤️

-

“Let me guess, you’re the type who needs to feel needed but also pushes people away?”

“How would you know that, Bunny Boy?”

“It’s my power.”

“You have powers too?” Snow blinks her pretty blue eyes. “Can you read minds?”

“I certainly can’t read minds,” Bunny Boy laughs. “But I am pretty good at reading hearts.”

“Oh yeah? What’s my heart feeling right now?”

“Well for starters, you seem to be annoyed by me prying too deep.”

“You are annoying.”

“And you also think I’m kinda cute.”

“I do not!”

You giggle into your phone screen for the hundredth time as you read through the latest Witch Hazel update. With the reveal of another character with secret powers, you wonder what Snow will make out of him. A friend? An ally? Or perhaps just someone who gets her.

Beneath the last comic panel of Snow rolling her eyes at the unofficially named Bunny Boy, you find cute little comments from the author.

“all i hope is for snow to take care of herself during this hiatus”

“even if it’s only a tiny amount, maybe witch hazel can help supplement as new snow content for now;;;;;;”

“ah i didnt mean to sound as if i were anywhere near snow’s level or anything;;;;;;”

“i just hope she knows she doesnt have to carry any burden all on her own”

“she has people on her side”

Your face doesn’t know whether to smile or shed tears, so you do a combination of both. It’s true, you’ve always felt alone. Always. No matter how many staff members it takes to produce an album or how many fans buy that album, you’ve never once felt that people could look beyond your idol music, your icy eyes, your mask.

But that’s exactly why you’re taking a break. You need to separate your worth from the music attached to your name. You need to prove to yourself that you’re more than what the critics and magazines say. And you’re only realizing it now that you can’t do it alone.

If only you had your own jk.seagull in your life. You’re sure the two of you would mesh well together.

-

“Where is that kid?” Taehyung pats the empty seat next to him before class starts. “He never skips class. I remember one time he literally rejected a date with a super cute girl because he ‘had to get to class’. Can you believe that?”

“Knowing Jungkook, I’d believe it,” you shrug. It does feel oddly empty without his presence, though.

“Oh really? You know all there is to know about the mysterious phenomenon that is Jeon Jungkook? It sounds like you guys got real acquainted on that date the other day.”

“It wasn’t a date, Taehyung. It was a meeting for a group project that you didn’t show up to.”

“Well it all evens out since Jungkook didn't show up today. Who knows, maybe you won’t show up tomorrow.”

“I’m sure he has a good reason for being absent. Unlike you.” You have to admit, it does worry you a little. Especially after the hints of doubt Jungkook expressed about his own beautiful art. You wish he knew how amazing of an artist he really is.

“What are you talking about? My reason was valid.”

“Having your cock sucked for five hours straight is not a valid reason, by the way.” You roll your eyes. “Let me guess, today you have a threesome scheduled after class and dinner date at 5?”

“Ouch, you don’t have to be so harsh, Y/N.” Taehyung pretends to be offended, but he doesn’t deny your comment either. “You’re really his type, you know.”

“I’m whose type?”

“Jungkook’s.”

“Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”

“I’ve said this before, but you’re a lot like Snow.”

“How?”

“In how you present yourself,” Taehyung says. “You and her both come across as cold and heartless, but somehow I don’t buy it.” He doesn’t buy what? That you’re just as much of a bitch on the inside too? Ha.

“Jungkook must have weird taste then,” you shrug. Because in your opinion, you’re not exactly an easy person to love.

“But-” Taehyung is cut off by the professor starting class. You don’t know what more he could’ve said to make you change your mind anyway.

“There won’t be any lecture for today’s class.” Your professor is busy typing away at her computer, perhaps trying to get caught up on paperwork and grading old assignments. “Instead, I want you all to take this time to work on your group projects. You may leave the classroom if you must, but remember to stay on task!”

With that, your classmates jam out of the room as if they were just freed from prison. You hear a couple of friends deciding which boba place to try out. Another group, the overachievers of the class, head somewhere outside to actually work on the project. Taehyung, too, looks as if there’s somewhere else he needs to be.

“So I-”

“Go ahead and get laid,” you sigh, shooing the boy away with your hand. “We’ll work next time when all three of us are here.”

“Thanks, Y/N! You get me,” Taehyung waves bye before dashing off.

You wave back as the hall clears out around you. It seems everyone else has found somewhere to go. Everyone except you.

But it’s fine. You’re fine.

Buzz! You jump at the sudden phone notification that seems to echo off the walls of the empty hall. Oh look, it’s a text from your only friend.

10:32AM jinnie❤️ “good morning ^O^// just checking in on you”

10:33AM jinnie❤️ “how are you holding up with everything?”

“I’m fine!” you mumble rather aggressively to yourself, sliding your ass down onto the filthy hallway floor before texting back. Your chunky guitar case sits in your lap like a baby so it doesn’t get dirty.

10:34AM Y/N “i miss seeing you at work everyday :((((”

10:34AM Y/N “lololololol jk”

10:35AM Y/N “fuck work, am i right”

10:36AM jinnie❤️ “Y/N”

10:37AM Y/N “😒”

10:37AM Y/N “im fine”

10:38AM jinnie❤️ “thats exactly what people say when theyre not fine”

But you are fine. You’re completely fine with sitting all alone in an empty hallway, texting your only friend who also happens to be your manager.

10:39AM jinnie❤️ “what are you doing now?”

You pick up your guitar and start walking away. Obviously, you can’t tell him what you were actually doing because it would worry him too much. But you can’t lie to him either.

10:41AM Y/N “if you really must know”

You wait until you arrive at your new location before answering Seokjin’s million-dollar question. You’ve found your place.

10:45AM Y/N “im practicing in the music room before my theory class starts”

He sends you the Surprised Pikachu meme but also a few supportive comments.

10:46AM jinnie❤️ “good luck!”

10:46AM jinnie❤️ “and if you ever need something, please reach out to me!”

10:47AM jinnie❤️ “ill be checking in on you every now and then, but please enjoy your time off~”

10:48AM Y/N “thank you seokjin”

With your manager off your back, you settle into the empty music classroom and pull your trusty guitar out of its case. The flat and out of tune strings remind you of how long it’s been since the last time you touched the guitar. Because despite carrying it around wherever you go, it’s all for show.

In all honesty, you’re too afraid to let others hear, and yet, part of you wants them to know. You want them to know you’re an artist in your own right—without the judgment. But that’s asking for too much from this cruel world. Especially when you know you aren’t there yet.

One by one, you turn the pegs on your guitar, fine tuning each string by ear. That’s always been your secret talent, and maybe that’s how you’ve never been off-key since the moment you said your first words. If there was one thing you had going for you as an idol, it was that.

Once all the strings are tuned, you just sit there, staring at your fingers curved naturally in the C chord position. The muscle memory is still very much ingrained in you, but so are the scars. The last time you actually held your guitar, you were told you weren’t good enough. So you ended up settling for something else.

Today, however, you want to change that. You shouldn’t let several people’s opinions determine what you can or can’t amount to just because they were the professionals of the industry who supposedly “knew” what they were doing. They didn’t know you then, and they certainly don’t know you now. They don’t even know your real name.

But that’s okay. Having a secret identity makes you feel as though you can someday become a true superhero, someone who makes the world a better place from behind the scenes. In that sense, you want to be someone like your current favorite person on the internet, jk.seagull. You don’t know him, nor do you know his real name.

All you know is that his craft makes you happy.

With the funny fanfic boy in mind, you glance up to make sure the coast is clear before taking your first strum. Despite the dullness of your old worn-out strings, what your ears hear is crisp and bright.

-

You aren’t sure how much time has passed since you began singing along to a melody only you know, but you’re suddenly pulled back into reality with a single mention of her from outside the classroom.

“What do you think about the Snow news?”

“It’s honestly sad.”

“With how little she contributes to her music, I really don’t think she deserves a break.”

“She should just keep going. How hard is it to sing a few songs? I hope she knows she’s letting a lot of people down just so she could relax.”

“Or better yet, she should just retire early.”

You set down your guitar on the piano bench. You’ve heard quite enough and you’re ready to slam the door on the noisy group passing by. But by the time you peek your head out from the crack, the group is already at the other end of the hall. You do, however, find a surprise sitting right outside the music room.

The boy who was supposedly too sick to come to class is too busy sketching away to notice you staring at him.

“How long have you been sitting out here?”

The tiny hairs on the back of the boy’s neck stand up as his drawing hand freezes at the sound of your voice. He turns around, looking up at you as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing.

“Since I started sketching.” Jungkook shows you a simple yet pretty drawing of a flowery spring field. By his art standards, it couldn’t have taken him long to draw that one page.

But it isn’t until you start flipping through the rest of the pages in the sketchbook that you realize he’d been sitting there for quite a while. Each page is similar to the last with only slight differences in between. When you fly through the pages like a flipbook, you see the whole picture.

From the first sketch of spring flowers, snow slowly covers the field until only a single flower remains in a winter wonderland. If you go in reverse, you can watch as the snow melts away until that one flower disappears amongst its brethren.

“What kind of flower is that?” You point to the one that somehow managed to blossom through the thickness of the snow. Maybe if it were colored in, you’d have a better idea.

“A strong one?” Jungkook shrugs as if he’s not the artist who knows the the answer. You hate yourself for cackling along at his lousy joke. He closes his sketchbook as a way to change the subject. “Why aren’t you in class?”

“Funny you should ask. The professor dismissed our class to work on the group projects. And then Tae ditched to go do his usual skirt-chasing shenanigans because somebody in our group didn’t show up.”

“Sorry,” the boy bites his lower lip with a hint of regret. “I didn’t really feel well enough to sit in class today.”

“Then why didn’t you just stay at home?”

“I still had this project to turn in and finish for my other class.” He raises his sketchbook. “And besides, music is the best medicine.”

You feel your cheeks burning up. The last person you expected to catch you messing around with your guitar in the music department was the art student who was supposed to be out sick. “How much did you hear…?”

“All I heard was one song…” He assures you for a slight second before going in for the kill, “…that you kept replaying over and over and over-”

“I get it. You heard a lot,” you hiss. “You better not tell anyone! Not even Tae.”

“I won’t,” he promises, chuckling at your distress. It seems the kid’s gotten comfortable enough around you to start clowning you. “It’s a nice song, by the way.”

“Really?” You want to believe him, but you have a hard time doing so. When all you’ve heard was brutal criticism for the past few years, it’s difficult to accept any compliment without feeling like there’s ill intent behind it. It feels wrong to feel good about yourself.

Besides, maybe he’s just complimenting you out of obligation. Like he’s trying to be nice, even if he doesn’t actually feel that way about your song.

“I’ll burden the pain so you don’t have to,” he says.

“What?”

“That’s a line from the lyrics, right?”

You nod.

“It’s a very Y/N thing to say.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jungkook shrugs and swirls his Sailor Venus keychain around his index finger. “Just take it as a compliment, Y/N.”

If not for his soft teasing smile, your mind would still be filled with doubt. Instead, you accept the compliment and gain a tiny bit of confidence back.

“Come in for a second,” you start walking back inside the music room. “And close the door behind you.”

Jungkook does as he’s told, his eyes glued to your guitar as you pick it up off the piano bench. There, you do something you’ve never practiced but had always hoped to perform as Snow—your own acoustic version of one of your songs.

It doesn’t matter that you’ve never practiced or touched your guitar in years. You know the key, the chords, the strum pattern. And you know how to make it your own. Not Snow’s or anyone else’s.

When you’re done with your mini acoustic performance, the boy can’t help but chuckle. He’s about to clown you again. You can feel it.

“What??”

“It’s nothing.”

“Jungkook.”

“It’s seems like you don’t hate Snow as much as you lead on.”

“I was only trying to show how I would’ve done the song if I were her.”

“Ah, so you criticize Snow so much because you think you can do better?”

“Not necessarily better… just differently.” You hope that answer is enough to satisfy the boy. But it’s not. He only nods with an awfully suspicious smirk. “What now??”

“It’s cool that you want to be a songwriter.”

“I never said that I did,” you say with a slight pout and hmph. You’ve never once mentioned your true dreams to anyone besides maybe some random kid at camp when you were ten. You’d hate to announce your bold aspirations with the utmost confidence, only to flop and fail before achieving anything. You’d rather keep it a secret until you perhaps “pop-off” as the kids say.

“Sure.” He doesn’t believe you.

“Are you always this sassy when you’re sick?”

His long locks flow as he shakes his head. “I’m feeling better now, actually. Thanks to your medicine.”

Maybe the kid was faking his sickness all along. Then again, Taehyung did say Jungkook wasn’t the type to skip class under most circumstances. Perhaps there was something else that was bothering him.

“Wait, you weren’t upset about Snow’s hiatus, right?” You remember the gossip from the noisy group that had passed by earlier. The beating you took from their words still stings.

“To be honest, I was worried about her at first with everything that went on,” Jungkook says. “But I think she probably just needed some time away from all that.”

“Probably,” is all you say, doing your best to downplay the amount of relief his words gave you. He isn’t upset or let down; he just wishes the best for your well-being. And as an idol, that’s all you’ve ever asked for. “You know, you’re the nicest Snow fan I’ve ever met.”

“You know a lot of other Snow fans?” Jungkook tilts his head at your odd statement. Oh right. You’ve only really met other fans as Snow, not as Y/N. Now you sound suspicious.

“Oh yeah, for sure. My friend, Seokjin, reads Snow smut all the time,” you force out a laugh while making a mental apology to your manager. Then you decide it’s best to change the subject before you blow your cover. “Speaking of fanfiction, I need your opinion on Witch Hazel!”

“What about it?”

“The new bunny character.” You whip out your phone for direct reference of the comic. “He’s funny, right?”

“He’s good at teasing Snow,” Jungkook looks at your phone screen of the bunny saying that Snow thinks he’s cute. “I wonder if he’ll make her fall for him.”

“I want him to.” Your eyes light up without knowing. To have Snow fall in love is wishful thinking, but a large part of you craves romance deep down—even if it’s only for the fictional version of yourself. “But at the same time, he’s not Snow’s type.”

“What’s Snow’s type?”

“Huh?” You somehow managed to fuck up again, so you shrink yourself and hope to disappear. “I don’t know… Why would I know what Snow’s type is…? It’s probably not a playboy like the bunny, but I wouldn’t know that…!”

“So you think she’d like someone more… considerate?”

You nod. “Probably just someone who takes the time to get to know her.”

“I guess we’ll see in the upcoming chapters.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” You can’t quite hold back a smile. After all, your day always feels a lot better when it involves your favorite little comic.

Jungkook must’ve noticed your face because he makes a comment. “I am curious, though, as to why you like Witch Hazel so much when you clearly don’t care for Snow herself.”

“For me, it has nothing to do with Snow.” To mask your smile, you make a cute duck face instead. “Reading it just… makes me happy.” As much as you’d hate to admit it, it’s been a long time since anything has given you good vibes the way that one comic does.

“That’s good,” the boy says, gathering his things to head to his next class. “It’s the same for me with Snow’s music… in case you were wondering.” And with that, he leaves you with something to think about.

If Snow’s music is Jungkook’s medicine, Witch Hazel is yours.

-

By the time you get home from school, you’re still smiling like an idiot after what Jungkook had said. Snow’s music makes him happy, and the mere thought of that makes you happy. It’s in (very rare) times like this that you remember why you chose to become an idol in the first place. It’s why you endure the pain.

With your mind clouded in an unfamiliar wave of emotion, you pull out your phone and tap on Jungkook’s contact information. After changing his contact name to something cuter, you start composing a casual message just to say hi.

Jungkook. What if I told you a secret?

Delete. You’ve never deleted a message so quick. You don’t even know which secret you would’ve told the boy. That you’re his crush, Snow? Or that he’s yours? Not that you have a huge crush on him… You swear it’s just a tiny one!

Regardless, you shouldn’t be sharing any of your deepest secrets with him—at least not for now. It’s not that you don’t trust him. It’s just that it’s a tricky situation to be in.

Your eyes move from your guitar, to the stacks of handwritten sheet music beside it, to the album that won you your first award—where the pain all began. Even the most supportive fan could not imagine what you’ve given up to be the idol that you are, to be someone with a name.

The only thing you can do now is take it all back. And only then will you let Jungkook in. But until that time comes, you don’t belong to him or anyone else.

4:44PM Snow “Are you free to talk?”

4:46PM Jimin “Yeah”

[wanderingpages]

Anon M (Dark AU) Part 6

(My [wabderingpages] responses are in this color!)

Jude being reletable kinda

OH MY GOD IT’S A KITTY (the real star of the show arrives)

A KITTY

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I love cats lol

“I like pussy” okay you know what, dark cardan, fuck me now, but keep it quiet

…….maybe

I don’t wanna cheat on CEO (hahahahaha)

OOH AFTER THIS DO YOU WANT ME TO DO A CEO REREAD AND WRITE DOWN THOSE THOUGHTS (DUDE absolutely whatever you want! Reading these make me all happy 🥰🥰)

Valerian really be a stoner huh

Everyones a stoner lol (stoner but make it intense lol)

Cardan trying to comfort jude

Jude thinking he might murder her (THE ROLES FROM CANON ARE SWITCHED) (yes lmao haha, Jude is the mostly clues scared but aroused one here)

Judes very disoriented ‘

Makes sense tho

“you are what you eat” OKAY DARK CARDAN MARRY ME OK (HAHA ON GOD 💯)

…..no don’t

Don’t

CEO I SWEAR I LOVE U

And I wouldn’t mind sleeping with both you and your fiancée (I am a bisexual mess) (aren’t we all)

But like…. OKAY IM STAYING LOYAL TO CEO

Jude really be here having panic attacks huh? (Honestly about time she starts having normal responses)

This is really cool, coming from someone who suffers from anxiety

Elvira is another TFOTA universe character right (haha no she’s the mistress of darkness (character in an old real life movie lol))

Yes jude please drink water

…why do I feel betrayed by the phone records thing he is literally her stalker (weirdly got a lot of similar reactions when this chapter was posted hahaha (“you went through my phone records?” to the tone of “but you made me this friendship bracelet” a la 21 jump street))

Aw jude is mad

I like mad jude

Jude a bit too mad now (big mad)

THEYRE BOTH MAD (bigger mad)

OOH

IS THIS GONNA BE HATE SEX

…..no’ (no)

Nvm

I want the hatesex peach (can I interest you in the rockstar au prologue? Or the just friends one shot au? Or the enemies with benefits au request?)

Aw she apologizeddddddddddddddddddddddd

Theyre having a deep convo

Id rather have the hate sex tbh

Dark cardan is perpetually horny isnt he (almost always 😔)

A leash

A LEASH (a leash)

Jude keeps on thinking about him killing her

Like

Bitch u were horny when he kidnapped you

Oh wait

Shes a lot more shooketh here (haha it’s starting to hit her now he’s the bad guy)

Im a bitch ill move on

Aw steamy shit

Still no hate sex WHY PEACH (oh you know why)

Dain is versatile lol (yessir)

Ghost is with…. Which sister now (taryn)

TARYN WOULD TOTALLY BE IN ON A PLAN TO KILL JUDE AHHHHH

I hate her is this obvious (yes lol)

His grin is wry, “Baby, you are hostage.” His hands slide down my arms to encircle my wrists, fingers caressing marks from where he’d bound me, twice. “I’m not the good guy here, never fucking mistake that,” he gives me a dark look and my stomach coils. Fuck butterflies, this guy gives me moths and they are constantly eating away at my insides. “I shouldn’t have gone in for you because now they know you’re connected to me. They’re using you against me.”

Ooh

He doesn’t say anything for a while, then he sighs. His voice is low and strained and he confesses, “when Sophie died, I got a picture, not a video. But it was the same thing. Knife at her throat while she had been asleep. I was late. I went home and she wasn’t just dead, Jude. She was slaughtered.” He spares me the details he’s clearly reliving. Those moths in my stomach are threatening to spill out because I feel sick and my heart feels heavy. I feel my face pale and my eyes widen. He hadn’t wanted to tell me. I get it. So I’m quiet and don’t ask for more. “Whoever wants you, either wants me hurt by association or there’s far more going on than either of us knows.”

Oh

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Harsh reminder that jude is a student lol

Wait how old is she (👀)

Don’t tell me

CARDAN IS HIGHHHHHHHH (not yet lol getting there though)

Hes always high

And horny

This man

I like him (😳😩🙈)

BUT I LOVE CEO CARDAN (I couldn’t tell tbh hahaha)

Heh

END OF THOUGHTS

Okay im loving this (thank youuuuu)

This was a really good chapter end

[tally-kiza]

Red melted into the comfortably worn couch, settling down for a quick catnap, Doomfanger nestled beside him. The sun’s warm rays shone down on him through the window. Breath slowing and fog overtaking his mind, Red silently reveled in the wonderful peace and quie--

��GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU HOODLUMS, BEFORE I BLAST YOUR ASS INTO NEXT THURSDAY!!!”

Ope, Pap’s home. Sans sighed, not reacting otherwise. He’d been hoping for a few more hours minutes of beauty rest. Outside, screeching Papyrus sounds intensified as he stomped towards their average but comfortable house. Red snickered. It wouldn’t be a holiday without his brother yelling at teenagers like a grumpy old man. 

Doomfanger lurched up attentively. She skittered towards the door, meowing loudly.

The door flew open as Pyrus trudged in, grumbling under his breath. Heading straight to the kitchen, he tore off the toilet paper clinging to his uniform, before peeling off the outfit entirely, hard candies colliding with the floor as he shook it out. The tall skeleton shook his body wildly in an effort to dislodge the remaining candies from his bones.

With a long-suffering sigh, he flopped down onto the couch next to his brother. 

Sans smirked. “bad day, bro?”

“Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween.”

Doomy crawled onto his lap and jackhammer-loud purring could be heard as Pyrus started petting her absentmindedly. 

“jeez, what happened, dude?” The smaller skeleton inquired, eyebrow lifted.

“Neighborhood teenage brats were mocking me. Again! Requesting me to sing sing that insufferable song, you know, the one with the skeleton in the pin-stripe suit. And when I refused, they threw candy and toilet paper on me!” Recounting the events seemed to worsen his mood, foul aura permeating the air around him. “They have no respect nor decorum!!”

A glint appeared in his brothers eyes, “aw, come on, bro. theyre not that bad. dont be such a hallo-weenie about it.”

Pap groaned loudly. “Ugh, that was terrible!”

“eheheheh yeah, but youre smiling.”

“I AM AND I HATE IT!!”

A few long beats of comfortable silence passed.

THUMP!

Both the brothers jolted.

THUMP THUMPTHUMP!

“what the hell?!” Sans growled. They whipped around to see bright white smears sliding down their living room window.

“THOSE FUCKERS ARE EGGING OUR HOUSE!!!” Pyrus barked.

“sonuva--” More growling. “wait here, ill teach the little bitches a lesson.”

The younger brother scoffed. “As if you could fare any better than I did.”

“oh i absolutely will,” was all that Red uttered before lumbering out the door to confront the aggressors. 

- - - - - -

Thump thwack THUMP!!

- - - - - -

Five minutes later, he silently reentered the house, head downturned. Papyrus side-eyed him with obvious satisfaction.

“Hmm? Did you ‘give them a bad time’ as you always say?”

The shorter (and now much messier) skeleton glowered at the other.

“No? Well look who has egg on his face now! Nyeh heH HEH!!” Papyrus cracked.

As his brother cackled at his own pun, Sans balled up his fists. “ohh, youre gonna pay for that, paps.”

Sensing danger, Doomfanger yowled and sprinted away into the other room.

In the blink of an eye, Red tackled his brother off the couch. Rolling around on the floor, the two of them snarled as they wrestled. Wiping one hand on the eggs that coated his jacket, Sans brought it down his brother’s clean shirt.

Pyrus shrieked, “NO! Why did you do that, that’s disgusting!!”

Attempting to writhe away from his brother’s hold proved fruitless as Sans repeated the action. Their tumbling continued, just as rambunctious as before. Just as Pap pulled his brother into a headlock, the shorter one licked his own phalanx and shoved it into the other’s acoustic meatus.

Jerking away and releasing Red, the taller one gagged. “OH MY GOD! Why did you do thattt?!!”

“you were being too sassy. needed to be put in your place,” he quipped.

Pyrus squawked. “PUT IN MY PL-- You know what, never mind, of course you would do something so vile. Either way, I don’t want to hear your excuses! You can’t just give me wet-willies!!”

“i can and i did.” Sans said smugly. “besides, whatre you gonna do about it?”

Unfazed by his brother’s taunts, Pap’s gaze turned vicious and a sly grin overcame his face.

The other’s eyesockets widened in realization. “wai’ wai’ nah, you wouldnt dare...”

His only response was a smirk. In an instant, Fell’s hands were everywhere all at once. Phalanges squirming into Sans’s neck, ribs, knees, causing peels of laughter spill out of the victim him.

Between breaths, he managed to protest though not really meaning it. “wait, shit, stop!”

“Payback, brother!!” Papyrus cried with fiendish glee.

The relentless attack continued, fingers fiercely scribbling over bones. But it wasn’t long before Sans built up enough resilience to return the favor tenfold.

As Pyrus screeched from the counterattack and Sans laughed maniacally, the two of them continued into the night, delinquents long forgotten.

- - - -  - - - -

“BROTHER! Come on out, already!” Papyrus yelled at his brother’s bedroom’s closed door. “Everyone’s waiting!”

“no!!”

“Just get out here, you look fine!!”

“no!!!”

Groaning, Papyrus--now donned in pirate garb--turned towards his guests. Undyne, Alphys, and the new human he adopted mentors, Frisk had come over to go trick-or-treating, a human holiday where they tricked others into giving them free food while they wore the skins of monsters. Highly insensitive and offensive, in the edgy skeleton’s opinion, but Frisk had insisted on everyone participating this year. Which lead them to where they were now.

All of his guests looked increasingly bored as Red stalled for time. Alphys, dressed as a rotting zombie, was watching Mew Mew Kissy Cutie on her phone with Frisk--who dressed up as a blue knight. Meanwhile, Undyne reached the end of her fuse.

“Runt, if you don’t get out here in 30 seconds, I’m kicking your ass into the goddamned CORE!!”

Loud grumbling erupted from Sans’s room. “fine, jeez, whateva’!”

Out of his room slinked Red, wearing a 1920s-style suit, complete with fedora and toy tommy gun. “i look so stupid! why the fuck’s this thing so constricting!”

“You look fine, now lets get this over with!” decreed Papyrus.

Frisk chuckled, “Gotta say, Sans, you look rather gangsta~.”

Undyne groaned as Alphys merely rolled her eyes.

“HUMAN!” Pyrus gasped. “You’ve been corrupted by my brother’s mediocre puns!”

“eheheh nice one, pipsqueak.”

Undyne sighed loudly, “Can we leave now?!”

“and whatre you supposed to be, fishsticks?”

She glared at him before flipping her hair. “A beautiful and seductive siren, duh.”

Her wife blushed as Red surveyed the siren ‘costume’: a ripped up dress ending in a mermaid tail, and stage makeup to make her look more gruesome and bloody than usual.

“meh.”

“YOU MOTHERF--”

Herding all the monsters towards the door, Frisk laughed nervously, “Okay, okay, lets just go already!! Mom and MK are waiting!”

As the monsters begrudgingly assented and journeyed into this Halloween night, no sad times were to be had and all was well.

...

“Hey, dude, you know you got egg on your house??”

“FUCK, I FORGOT--!!!”

fin.

= = = = = = = = = =

a gift for @quezq! this was a lot of fun. bolded lines are prompts from this!