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Growing, excelling in the pressure.

I felt nervous today for the first time in months hahahah! And it was during something I’ve done a 1000 times before! .... and I LOVED IT. do you know what the funny thing was, right before I turned it up. I realised how much I longed to be nervous. How much I actually wanted to be nervous. To me, it’s such a quaking knee crumbling feeling. But even so, it’s much more of a thrill eating that gut wheezy feeling. Just silencing everything all anxiety all of everything. Quieting my entire mind. The only thing that remains is this powerful focus. This drive to do more. That feeling when I’m out of breathe, exhausted and tired. I remember that’s just the first scratch of the surface. I’ve always had a high motor, why stop working on it. Now that I’m being drafted, it’s not an excuse to take a rest. But now I’m taking it to the next level, I’m turning it up baby!

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.Circuito Parque Patagonia

© ravi vora

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It’s funny how the saying is picture perfect,

But the picture is based on perspective and perception.

Now Picture this, your frame is off it’s axis. Shifting your perception.

Now your perspective is reflective off your axis. But what if that angle isn’t the best? Shadows are emphasised, the lighting isn’t great and all you can really focus on is what you hate.

It doesn’t mean the quality of the art is tainted though does it?

Take a step back. You’ll see you’re off you axis, and now you’re well adjusted. See your perception shift. And now I’m flabbergasted.

Funny no?

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Jump up and

Jump up and

Jump up and

How high can I get? Man I’ve never felt so naturally enlightened. I think it’s when I shifted from thinking I’m disadvantaged to blessed. What can I harness. What’s propelled me forward, my attitude. Sometimes we’re holding on to the railing when we’re ready to fling and fly but we hold ourselves back.

My biggest fear is not that I am inadequate but that I am are powerful beyond all measure.

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Souless,

Unquenched spirit, hunger I feel it

To take my desires to a higher level, steer it.

Towards no limit, clouded by doubts. But fuelled by motive. Am driven by passion or incentivised by rewards. I’ve never felt more alive or more accomplished than by that minute on the stage. I realised when I was in God’s house that this wasn’t a game. But I’ve been distracted from the truth.

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Growth

What does growth mean to me?

It means to face the uncomfortable,

To challenge yourself at times when you don’t want to.

Cut back branches that don’t bear fruit.

To do things I don’t want to

No substances

No validation

Confidence in artistry

Liberation from fear

Chasing temporary highs,

Shit I’m that guy

I want to fly not float

Soar not choke

Are my wings made of denial and false hope

Practice brings peace of mind

proficiency and cracks a smile.

how long will I fly. I can only be high for so long.

Long like my mortality string

I’m a kite, fishing line

slowly churning let me slip

*slips*

Oh what a soft kiss

Wings are wax , slap the ground like Icarus (facts. Yeah)

My hips will fix

Hide de hole.

Hickory like my vision bro.

No control

Plastered like my feelings.

I’m grabbing at these time fillers

Emotion killers and great feelers

Let the time slip away,

I want to live with a purpose

I want to strive baby work it

For it, serve

Liberate baby there is no need to prevaricate

From your fear

Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate

It’s that we are powerful beyond all measure

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A$AP Rocky in Harlem 

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Keanu Reeves for GQ Magazine, 2019

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i'm waiting for you.

I'll be waiting for you, patiently. I'll be searching for you, endlessly. I'll be holding your hand lovingly and i'll be smiling when you're raining on me

Why am i looking for your approval, nerous sleeps with me at night. Maybe i feel my voice dampen, maybe it’s why i like the violence. 

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late night flicks

I saw dead flowers in my dreams, i felt regret had a place on my pillow right then. I held it in my hands which brought me joy, sweaty palms cause i'm guilty. Discomfort in my stonach cause I'm a petty weed killer.  I apologized, you said i didn't owe you shit, i'm truly sorry. But it's dope to see you bloom again.

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Current mood, over dramatic  emotional montage of my life doing mundane shit but we are the champions is playing in the background

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I'm scared that loving you would be fun,

I scraped my knees falling you and it stings. 

I'm afraid that i'll hurt you n run. LIke simpsons on ps2. 

I haven't a clue

But i'll always search for you.