#and they'll actually listen
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Huge vent
Yesterday was the welcome thing for the beginning of the school year, only from 15h to 16h30. Still managed to end up late. Nothing to do either, just sit there and listen to the explanation of how the year is gonna go. Still came back home EXHAUSTED
First day of school and I'm already an hour late
They also said that if we come late, the teachers aren't gonna let us in
So now I'm just frozen, sitting on my chair after finally managing to prepare, with no idea on if i waste the little energy i have going to school in the heat only to not be let in
But they also said they'd do that last year, and they never did. So maybe they're not doing it again and I'm just wasting time when they would let me in
I don't know and that's the problem
And even if i can, the mental image of everyone in class turning to stare at me and judge while i enter in the middle of the class, because i spent more than half of last year being hours late if not straight up missing "for no reason" is too much (because this country has dog shit psychology knowledge that has been studied to be around 50 years late, and they know nothing about invisible disabilities. Not like I'd ever even tell them. This class sucks in all minorities fronts)
But also I'm literally already thousands of euros in debt for this damn school and every class i miss is money wasted
I don't know what to do
#sent a message to admins to ask about the disability help i can get#think I'm gonna wait until afternoon class to go#and use that time to do all the other medical calls i need to do#hope we can talk about my help soon and i can explain the causes for why I'm late in the morning and why I'm struggling so much#and they'll actually listen#negative#HB rambles#i did brush my teeth! that's a huge win. and took a shower yesterday despite already taking one sunday#which thinking about it now might be the reason I'm already struggling so hard this morning.....#having to suddenly live with low spoons sucks. especially when you have huge memory issues#i keep acting like how i used to. just normal. and then being baffled when something as small as a shower wipes out all my energy for the#next day#i hate this. i hate this so much. i want to go back to being able to do multiple things a day and not ending up drained#i had 3 months of summer break. and only played animal crossing new leaf for like- 3 afternoons#never touched any other game. or my dsi. or my wii. or any of my books#played buckshot roulette for a few hours once#couldn't keep going. it's fun. but because it's a strategy game. it DRAINED my mental energy#i planned to fucking start sports and learn how to sew and crochet and maybe even skateboard#and instead i couldn't even draw a simple BASIC art piece without taking multiple days of only 3 hours sessions#an entire year of doctor appointments. and i still have NOTHING. no answer or help#my last hope is a mental exam in December....#if we don't find the answer then.....I'm probably gonna have to survive like this for the rest of my life#and i definitely can't get or keep a job in this state#vent#chronic fatigue#autistic burnout#probably#but it's not like i can get help for that. when the cure is YEARS of COMPLETE rest#no job or responsabilities whatsoever. yeah right. only way to get that would be to get sent to a retirement home or something#hate this
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it's hell on earth to be heavenly them's the breaks, they don't come gently
#daniel ricciardo#dr3#went on a hike the sunday after the official announcement and listened to this song on repeat for probably 3 of the 8 miles#POV: me in the middle of the woods telling myself to get it together#while crying about a 35 year old millionaire before I end up passing someone on the trail and they call the police on me#so song is about how female stars are treated overtime and when they first arrive they're praised for being authentic and refreshin#but once the shine wears off and they're a little older and reveal imperfections or they struggle they become a target for ridicule#and then they're discarded for the next new thing in town and the cycle keeps repeating itself forever#which to me so closely mirrors daniel's trajectory in F1 in the eyes of the media#but also when you take the lyrics at face value they are just so daniel...#the f1 ecosystem and more specifically the redbull “family” are fake as hell#and yet daniel is one of their most genuine products who actually can't be easily reproduced (but by god they'll try)#he showed a great deal of promise despite coming from a place that really never should've produced a successful f1 driver#because the cards were stacked against him and nobody really thought he would make it#but he did and he gave us 13 brilliant years (and he has SO much more to give and do and succeed at and he will)#but the wheel of time keeps spinning and the cycle continues for the next shiny new toy that they can nurture and then destroy#anyway i'm not totally in love with these gifs but I need to be done w/them and I had to exorcise this demon that was making me sad
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lately, i've seen more people in the online autistic community acknowledging the struggles of people with higher support needs, which is of course an important development. but for some, that seems to come with the implicit assumption that low needs autistics "have it easy" or experience no stigma at all, which is just wrong??? people with low support needs are still disabled by their autism and still face discrimination because of it. sure, they are impaired to a lesser degree than those with higher support needs, but that doesn't mean you can just erase their struggles, y'know?
#sometimes i see posts that are like 'its unfair to say that autistic people have it easy and arent really disabled...' and go yes! exactly!#but then they'll continue like '...because not all autistic people have low support needs'#and i'm like. okay nevermind you dont understand this at all#i have comparatively mild autism (was diagnosed with aspergers back when that was still a thing)#and my autism has still significantly impacted and impaired my life#i think its important to acknowledge the huge range of experiences in the autistic community#and that many others have struggled much more than me#but that doesnt mean its all easy breezy for me and other lsn autistics yknow?#(i guess i would technically be considered medium support needs or something but that's because of my chronic illness not my autism)#i wish people would just. like. listen to other peoples experiences before just assuming that they know everything about their lives#ofc a huge part of this is also some lsn autistics distancing themselves from hsn people and pretending that they're not actually disabled#but not every lsn autistic is like that. and even the ones that are are usually (consciously or unconsciously) downplaying their symptoms#autism#actually autistic#actuallyautistic#this isn't really about the post i just reblogged btw it just reminded me of it#because some of the notes on it went in that direction
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here they are!
#hws lithuania#hws latvia#hws estonia#aph lithuania#aph latvia#aph estonia#hetavision#I thiiiiink I might like Ed's song most of these three but then again they all don't really hit me this year for some reason#I listened to all of them a lot but I hope they'll still catch me sooner or later#rn f.rance m.oldova and A.ustria are the ones I like most but idk I'm still very indecisive#I'm screaming about Liet's metallic orange fit#I took the clothing from the national finals so idk what they'll be actually wearing on stage whoops
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Yes that's Shakespeare please leave me alone
#OKAY SO kitty and puss are both on there bc kitty heavily inspired her character traits and attitude#but puss inspired this identity crisis she has that i jave literally never talked about .... it's new since I'm remaking her lore GRRRR#but erm yeah she 100 percent had flamboyant and big heists n stuff to gain attention and validation from the kingdom she used to live in#on hwr home planet.... there's a kingdok there btw#and ofc she's wanted dead or alive by the royal army#BUT ANYWAY she uses that thrill of getting attention and stuff to compensate for how little she thinks of herself yay!!!!!!!!#The whole “If I'm not the fearless legend they see me as then what good am i?” thing going on with Puss is almost exactly like how Elora is#except she does NOT ❌🙅♀️ call herself a hero#so she has a tendency to push others away due to the fear that they'll see how she actually is BUT OF COURSE wanded and sylvia change that#WOW we got a yapper over here!!!!!!!#do NOT let her listen to Remember My Name by Mitski bro she'll drop to her knees and sob#um#and rouge and rarity inspired her sassiness and dramatics :3c
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really hoping for the last debate to let the international members to be able to talk in their mother language cuz admit it or not, its a HUGE handicap that they're not able to get themselves across as they'd like to cuz of the language barrier. they're trying their best and im glad the team is working to better the translator but my god, even if its more convenient for them to talk english its def affecting some of the candidates
this is mostly directed @ insaneduo cuz holy shit im so tired of people that keep missinterpreting them, they wont start a dictatorship go and actually watch their povs
#qsmp#qsmp liveblog#listen i am all fuck the government and the federation but insaneduo got a point#there's some stuff that the only way to do them is with help of the federation (aka the actual admins)#and i feel like bag and bbh sometimes forget that they'll need the feds approval to do whatever they want. it doesnt feel like#they have a b plan in case the council is rejected. and of course the worry that someone will become a fed puppet#idk its just audhfuahfe i fucking hate politics ong#i def agree that us latinos see politics differently than americans and europeans. we're used to being screwed over by our own goverment#and i like what insaneduo is proposing but idk man. atp idk who to vote. i could do the funniest thing and vote gegg i guess LOL#sorry for the rant in tags
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if i had a podcast successful enough to get famous actors on as guests it'd be a rewatch podcast of all my favourite shows except unlike all the current rewatch podcasts that exist where they waste time heaping unnecessary praise on a random guest actor or telling some never-ending, irrelevant behind the scenes story and skipping vital parts of the episode we'd be going through that episode Minute By Minute. tell me what the script said and did it change as you were acting out the scene, what directions were you given, what do you make of the song choice in the scene and would you have picked a different one, tell me about how this parallels this earlier scene from another episode, what does it mean for the overall character arc if you cannot discuss this show with the level of depth of a dedicated fan writing in the tags of a gifset of their favourite blorbo on tumblr dot com then get the fuck out of my recording studio
#mine#every time i listen to rewatch podcasts i get so annoyed bc i just want to scream yOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT PROPERLY#akjdfh like they'll start off with the opening scene get sidetracked about some stupid irrelevant shit#then skip 20 mins of the episode#and somehow the podcast is still over an hour long#i've yet to find a rewatch podcast that actually gives me what i want#(also lowkey in general i just think i can't stand american podcasters they're so annoying asdkjfhsjkah)#(it always just feels so manufactured and not like an actual conversation!!!!!!!!!)#(the only podcasts i can ever stick with long term are made by irish people i can't lie lmao)
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Protective boyfriends
#one thing about these boys is that they'll protect each other#like yeah they desperately need to actually speak and listen to each other but instinctually they protect#our flag means death#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd#spoilers#gif#my gifs#|#rhys darby#taika waititi#otp: co captains#queued
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...because any moment may be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed.
#looking through my drafts and seeing this post unfinished and knowing in my core I'll probably never actually finish it .#but strangley enough i don't hate the way it looks with only those 2 panels ? beauty in simplicity or something idk#woe unfinished post be upon ye#honestly probably wouldnt even bother posting it were it not for the fact i was hit by a sudden wave of sadness#by being reminded out of the blue that alex really does just . lose nigel that night#enough deep level analysis my brain is all out i think . but just the simple fact that nigel dies that night#and alex has to go on for the rest of his life post-ending carrying that grief and loss with him#i know we talk about how nigel isn't truly 'gone' in the sense that they're one now and jack is supposed to be an amalgamation of the two#a product of their union and 'consummation' that night at the yard#but he's still gone . no matter how much alex might try and follow in nigel's footsteps#no matter how hard alex tries to tread that same path nigel did to feel close to him#he's gone . they will never have that moment beneath the house ever again . and alex has to go on living with that#anyway . normal again . imagine dropping a song rec like i used to. aha . go listen to sick like me by in this moment.#like minds#murderous intent#nigel colbie#alex forbes#nigel colbie x alex forbes#edit : THEY'LL NEVER HAVE THE MOMENT UNDER THE HOUSE AGAIN !!!!!#thinking about the moment where nigel sits across from alex after he shoots john#and the contrast to the scene in the crawlspace . nigel is trying to connect he is trying to get alex to see to understand#but now alex is closed off. something may be irreparable broken between them#do you think it was the moment where nigel starts to despair . to plead . realise that he needs to find a way to make alex truly see#i need to get some sleep
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There is lack of any Movie!Amy content in sight and guys I am STILL delusional. :)
#piko rambles#sonic movie 2020#sonic movie 3#movie amy#WHERE IS MY GIRL?!?!#Actually hold on where is ROUGE? You can't have Shadow without Rouge!#Maybe they'll show up in the future. I'm just saying it's crazy to introduce Shadow without Amy and/or Rouge.#Especially since Amy helped Shadow remember Maria's promise in SA2.#Maybe Sonic can do it but I always thought Shadow wouldn't listen to him since he views him as a bumbling idiot.#But he would listen to Amy since she reminded him of Maria in a way.
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polyheathers makes me so undeniably sad, and thats why i read this (ao3) to make me even sadder. i yearn for more polyheathers crumbs.
please god make them happy i just need them to test out makeup on each other and tell them "oh dear this shade doesn't fit you" and kiss the other in the trope (is that the right word?) of "i will give you my lipstick by kissing you". and they'll paint each other's nails and when they order food and they get their order wrong one of them will always march up aggressively and demand that they remake it, for mcnamara asked for no pickles and duke asked for DIET coke, not normal coke you DUMB FUCKING BITCH get my girlfriends' orders right. and they'll call each other their girls (taken from linked fic above) and they'll hold each other and cry into one's shoulders as the other rubs their back and comforts them. because i want to believe they'll stick together no matter what.
kram still dies for the tolerance in sherwood ohio and veronica was their wingman from 1987 till' 1988
#i know they're very toxic in actual canon but listen to me#this is a heather chandler doesnt die and she realises thats shes been kinda a bitch and duke too.#and then they work on healthily communicating#and then they'll be super in love#god i love polyheathers#heathers#heathers the musical#polyheathers#heather chandler#heaher mcnamara#heather duke
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listen if we brat summer our way out of fascism I'll fuckin take it
#ravi rants#historically speaking the best way to shut down asshats that violate the social contract of tolerance is to mock them#idk man maybe I have a different perspective on all of this because I'm part of the desi diaspora#but like.... so Indians won't always obviously call out violations of social decorum#if you're making an idiot of yourself or you're making a scene. other people will stand by and let you do it.#my therapist and I talk about me coming from a high-context Asianic cultural background like I do a lot actually#because the thing about Indian decorum is that. like.#one. you protect yours. if your friend is actively intervening in on something there's a reason and it might be helpful#but two. if someone's breaking decorum.... we allow them to do so in order to figure out why.#if someone's ex is crashing a wedding and successfully gets the floor they'll get heard out#and everyone will be paying attention#because the thing is those kinds of overt violations of decorum usually happen for a reason....#Indian soap operas are A Lot™ but listen. a party might be the right time to call someone out on being abusive or manipulative#because the whistleblower can be escorted away to safety by them and theirs.#and usually you have to be able to know enough decorum to get to the point where you make a scene#and Indians respect the hustle. we'll hear you out.#the Hindu gods are notorious for being like 'alright smart guy. here's your wish.'#the gods will readily admit if they've been outwitted#but you're an idiot if you think you'll get away with fucking with the natural chaos of samsara and karma forever :)#however. there's also Hindu parables of asuras and dumbass humans realizing they fucked up and taking the L with grace#and the gods respect that#but lol. fascists aren't respectful.#Richard Spencer shut the fuck up after we all saw him get punched#conservatives are having a mental breakdown over being called weird while insisting that a cis woman is a man#and I'd like to remind everyone that the social role of a court jester is to keep everyone humble#bc dude. if you're getting butthurt over the clown ribbing you. maybe calm the fuck down? look in the mirror?#you may be a king but the larger the seat you hold#the better your toilet plumbing should be
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Guys please, I know you love to yell back at the rw/de crowd when they say something incredibly stupid (which is most of the time), but you all gotta stop giving them attention.
Don't fight them throwing more oil to the fire, just block without a word (aside maybe encouraging others to do the same) and let it die by suffocation.
#Rwby#Making us angry is litterally their goal#They like the attention#So let's not give it to them#Besides we know it's wasted breath anyway#They'll never actually listen to us anyway
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willow everyone around me has a partner/fwb (we're in our 20s) and i'm still a virgin i feel so excluded 😔!! i want to have sex too i'm just scared and feel soooooo left behind. childish almost because i am an adult woman with a job and license and can legally drink and rent a car! grrrrr! and i know in my heart that it's silly to feel this way but i can't help it sometimes
oh my dear !!! 🥺 i think when we're surrounded by people that are involved in something that we're not apart of, it's very normal to feel excluded !! a lil' left behind !!! but 🥺 intimate relationships are not the same as hobbies or tv shows that our pals are into for the moment 🥺 and i think the fact that you do feel scared is !! v important !! and something that you should pay attention to !! 🥺🩷 regarding a vulnerable moment such as this, i think you would regret it more to rush into it with someone while you're scared, more than you would regret just waiting 🥺 until the time feels right 🥺
being a virgin does not equate to being childish, friend 🥺 you're right !! you're a grown ass woman with a job and a license !! that can drink and rent a car !! you're a multi-faceted human being 🥺 and you can't be narrowed down any one way !! 🥺 this is just another piece of you 🥺 and life is so different for everyone, you really can't compare yours or your experiences with others !! bc all that usually does is leave us feeling off-track, when really !! there is no track !!
it's not silly to feel this way 🥺 it's normal !! and i'm sure it will come and go and that's okay ! but know what's best for you 🥺 and if you're feeling a scared or unsure, it's so important to listen to that little piece of you ! 🥺
i am kissing you on the head friend ! and hoping that you don't feel pressured or left behind 🥺🩷✨️
#everyone has such different experiences in life you cant compare where you are vs where others are !!#i know that's so much easier said than done#and it a sex crazed world we live in now it's hard to ignore !!#but listen to yourself ! your own feelings !!#bc your experiences are YOUR experiences and nobody elses 🥺#and they'll stay with you forever 🥺#in saying all that#i actually have a friend that is 26 and just recently had sex for the first time !#she's been on dating apps for a while and she only ever told partners she felt really comfortable with#and then she was dating someone for a few months and felt comfortable with them and went ahead !#and they're not together anymore but ! it was with someone she cared about at the time and trusted !#not to make it sound like they broke up right away it was a few months later but#the point is — she knew when she felt like it was time !#and i think that's important !!#✿ ask willow
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staff actually responded to me and opened with this it's giving
#i find it hard to believe you have a single gif maker on your staff tumblr when you make these changes that affect our work...#the good news is they've actually responded to me i guess and i send them a whole bunch of examples so maybe they'll listen???
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on repeat. from this summer. (insp. / template by @uservalerian)
#heeeeeeeeeelp i've lost motivation to finish three of these like 10 billion times since i started this in AUGUST#and now people YOINKED my idea#(as if having the lines slide up like they do in actual spotify could be my idea)#usermia#ninitag#userhops#higabi#hiszabina#heyiri#kirberries#jennalook#useriaya#usermoonjuice#usertsu#malegroupsnet#kpopccc#gifs :)#kpop boy posting#anyway. as i was saying i did listen to these songs this summer#and they'll conjure up the feeling of this specific summer for months and years to come#and idol by yoasobi but i was gonna hunt down all the idols doing the challenge and do a lil mosaic for the bg#but i didnt#and so someone else should do that#not me tho
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