#like truly some of the characters of all time
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bugflies00 · 3 days ago
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one of the things i love the most about dsmp is the fact that no one has the same version of it. the most obvious example is which streamer's POV you watched, but it goes way beyond that because mcrp requires a level of suspension of disbelief and also of filling in the gaps, fleshening things out, in order to make it usable for fancontent.
for example, the fact that apart from the minecraft skin there is no actual guideline for how to see the characters, hence the dsmp creaturification of fan designs we've been over a million times. but it's not just that!!
the fandom also has so many different relations to time in the dsmp. some take the canon timeline but then you run into problems like c!fundy's age — so then either he's actually a 20 year old that c!wilbur adopted and treats like a baby, or perhaps fox hybrids have a very abrupt exponential growth spurt, or perhaps l'manberg wasn't a few months but a few years!
and then this brings into question the matter of scale — how populated is the server? is it truly only the actual streamers/characters, and so when we talk about a "war" do we really just mean like 10 people fighting each other with swords? or perhaps there's a couple dozen, unnamed, background characters? and i've seen people increase the scale even more! make l'manberg a real, albeit obviously small and budding, country-city of a few hundred inhabitants, that perhaps grows into a lifesize scale fortified city during new l'manberg.
and then everything takes on such a different tone. if theres 30 people on the server, the final control room was a betrayal and destruction of friendships, november 16th was the grief and anger for a friend and the symbolic destruction of the country, and doomsday was another symbolic show of whose alliances everyone values, and the weariness of having to rebuild it. if there's a few thousand people? all of those were massacres.
how can we even be talking about the same characters when for some of us the worst they've done is blow up some houses with no cost of lives, and for others they have razed to the ground actual nations? depending on how you read it and how much you flesh it out, dsmp is either mainly about symbols and interpersonal relationships, or it can be some game of thrones shit. it's completely fucking mental. i'm so in love with it
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Could I request part two of "A Well Deserved Grudge" for the remaining OB guys?
Thank you for all you hard work Moss!
A Well Deserved Grudge Pt.2
You hate them after their overblot. Part one.
Characters: Leona, Azul, Idia, Grim
Content Info: Gn! Yuu. Yuu is fucking mean in this. A lot of angst. Azul and Idia self deprecated a lot. Mostly Yuu breaking down and snapping tbh. Grim Hate
Leona
“Wow look at who it is. The king himself. Tell me, what did I do to deserve the honor of being in his majesty's presence?”
Yuu locked eyes with Leona in the hospital mirror, no doubt out of bed against doctors orders. Their damaged face matched their voice that dripped the venom of sarcasm. They were smug, overwhelmingly smug with a slight smirk to match their upturned brows.
“Well…? I'm waiting.” There's no fear in their demeanor at all. There never has been. Even when there should be. Yuu was brave, he'll give them that. They had a right to be angry.
Leona closed his eyes, taking a breath, then opened them again. “I came here to apologize.” He kept it brief. The hatred in their eyes told him that them didn't want him here more than necessary. Not like he'd blame Yuu.
“Oh? But what for your Majesty?” By now Yuu turned around, and Leona could truly see the extent of the damage done to them. Cracks permeated their face, reaching from their cheek to across their nose along with the corners of their eyes. The small smirk on their dry lips twitched for a second and he could see a few more cracks on them that bled. It was like a porcelain doll knocked off its stand
“I mean…” They took a step forward, as if to circle him, maintaining eye contact the whole time. The thin hospital gown swayed with them as they continued. Odd squelches and snaps sounded with each step from damaged feet that shouldn't be stood on.
“You sure showed them, huh? Everyone will know how tough you are now when they hear the tale of how you… valiantly fought and won against a magicless human that dared to threaten your throne…” They continued to circle him for a bit before pausing.
Their smug expression dropped to a cruel glare, turning to fully face him. More pops and snaps sounded from them. Parts of their arms look warped, as if their flesh was made of plastic. Yet the cracks along their arms were nowhere near as clean as the ones on their face, crowded together in craters and showing raw flesh in between them.
There was no way to respond to this in a way that would smooth things over. There was no way to smooth things over. He debates between holding his tongue or speaking, brilliant mind now failing him. He knows for sure that Yuu deserves to curse him out and that they probably need it for their mental health.
“I am here to ensure that you're fully cared for. I arranged for some of the top doctors to visit you and ensure your recovery outside of the hospital as well.” There is no fully recovering from this. They both know it.
Yuu's expression becomes more neutral, then they seem almost impressed. “Wow. How utterly magnanimous of you, your majesty. Why I'm practically kneeling at your feet and singing your praises… At least I would but uh, ah I can't seem to fully bend my knees, hmmm?” Their leering only seemed to get more and more intense.
“Thank you for your kindness, your majesty. I finally learned my place now. I will never forget our first meeting where you threatened to take a tooth from me after a most egregious offense I committed to you. How awful of me to not be able to see everything at once while adjusting to a new environment. I apologize for my shortsightedness. This was a most appropriate response…” Their hospital gown stretched out with their arms, showing off their injuries
A mock pout they wore turned sour. They bitterly looked to the side, theatrics starting to fail. “Well, you did indeed take a few…” Yuu pulled the corner of their mouth, causing more cracks to form along the corners. He could see the raw, irritated gums that once held their molars.
“I'm glad you got what you wanted. Do you feel powerful now? Clap for yourself, I mean really, you do deserve it, I'll also give a round of applause as well…” Their damaged hand made a few slow, sarcastic slaps together that sounded like sandpaper.
“I do wonder… What would the news look like if they heard about this? ‘Beloved Prince Protects NRC From Human!’ or ‘NRC Now Safe From Magicless Maniac!’”
Their eyes searched his, staring deep into his soul. He couldn't tell what they found within them, but it was clear they saw something. “Oh relax, I won't tell. I don't have autonomy here remember? I don't exist, so why would they listen? Not that anyone would have believed me anyways...” The Prefect looked to the side, trailing off.
“...Okay I'm done with this, just get the hell out of here. You won, okay? I'm a weak little herbivore. I don't want to see you ever again. Just leave me alone.” They were disgusted as they backed away from him, watching him the whole time. Leona saw how Yuu carefully shifted their weight, trying not to wince from the pain felt by moving.
He didn't say anything. Yuu didn't want him to speak. They sat down on the bed and stared at him until he turned to leave. It was when he closed the door he heard sobs.
Azul
He was shaking. Shaking as he stood in front of the door of the doctor's office. No matter how much he tried to steel his mind, he couldn't relax. He felt sick. His hand quivered. He didn't have the strength to open the door.
He had to eventually…
A deep breath, and he pushed it open, holding back the urge to throw up from anxiety. From the hospital bed, he didn't fail to notice how Yuu’s expression dropped the second he opened the door.
“Oh. It's you.” The Prefect tried to sit up, just to let out a gag and choke for a second, laying back down. How many ribs did he break when he grabbed them? How much did it hurt?
“Great to see you again.” They snarked, wrinkling their nose in repulsion before relaxing their face again. “So? What's up? Here to visit a friend?”
Azul was silent, watching as Yuu stared straight up at the motivational posters on the ceiling as they wheezed with every breath, not wanting to look at him. They were clearly expecting a response. Now where was it?
“I- erm. Prefect– I mean Yuu—”
“Prefect is perfect.” Yuu spat.
“Ah yes… Prefect…” Azul found his footing. “I am…” He had a script for this. He had a script for this…
“I'm sorry–” he tried not to cry. He tried not to be that stupid crybaby, but he was. He's just a pathetic, stupid, ugly crybaby no matter how hard he pretends not to be. Stupid stupid fat fat stupid.
“Oh my god I don't want to hear your pathetic blubbering. If you're gonna do that, get the hell out of here. I don't want to deal with this shit.” Yuu was exasperated, damn near shaking.
“Choking on sobs while I'm choking just to breathe, are you fucking serious?” He was snotty trying hard to fight against the tears, they were right, they were right—
“Let's ‘make a deal’: take whatever you want, just get the hell out of my life, Azul. Don't talk to me, don't even look at me. Take Ramshackle, I don't care, not like I can go up the stairs to my room now anyways. You don’t even need to handle any medical shit I have. You won.” Yuu was crying now too, shaking in their bed.
“Got it? Just fucking go. And be sure to share my sentiments with Jade and Floyd as well. Spell it out for them: I hate them. I hate all of you. You're all so pathetic, you're not even worthy of being considered shit on this earth. I don't want you here.”
That was all Azul needed to leave. They hate him. You hate him. He feels sick. Filthy. He deserves it. He deserves it. He's just a pathetic little octobaby. It's all he will be.
Idia
Idia was beyond anxious. He was petrified to leave his room and see what he had done. Idia knew he couldn't hide forever. He had to confront Yuu and own up to everything he did eventually. He doesn't want to do this. Why can't he just hide away.
Just breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale… Exhale…
Phew… here he goes—
The second he stepped up to that door he could hear it. Faint sobbing. Idia’s feet were cold once again as he stood there.
Should he wait? Should he just go in?
C'mon c'mon c'mon— What does he do here?!
… He can't do this. He can't. He's just going back to his room and will send a bunch of stuff their way with a lengthy, well-thought out written apology…
It won't work. He knows it won't.
Dammit! His parents and Ortho won't let him avoid this forever…
Another breath. He opens the door. He feels he's going to vomit.
Yuu jumps a bit startled. They blink as if to see if this is real, then stare at him with contempt. “... What do you want?” Their leer has Idia damn near shaking. It was even more unnerving with the darkened veins across their face.
“I- I erm– I came to um… ahem. O-Our doctors at STYX will continue to work with you and monitor your condition. We… We're sure with just a few tests we can get you back in p-perfect condition.” His eyes scanned the various burns and deep cuts along their body, most of which were covered in bandages.
“... Are you serious?” Yuu’ voice dropped dangerously low.
“U-um… Yes?”
“No, I mean are you fucking serious?” Yuu snarls at Idia, teeth gritted and eyes wide. “You seriously think I want to be around you sons of bitches any longer after everything that happened?! After you destroyed my dorm?! Took my friends?! Af… After you did this to me?!”
Yuu breathes heavily in and out. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?!”
“E-eep!” Idia yelped, trying to make himself seem small. He wants to go to his room he wants to go— They're crying now, they're crying!!!–
"Unless it's a way home I'm not interested! I thought…” a sniffle, followed by a bitter laugh, “I thought the ‘whole ending up in a different world’ thing was supposed to be fun! Was supposed to be cool! I was… I was supposed to go out and explore and make friends and learn all kinds of magical things about how this whole world works and all that it has been for me is hell!”
They're sobbing into their hands. “I'm no one! I have to do all of this on my own and I have no identity, no nothing! I always have to fix everyone else's messes! I have to learn everything with no help! I'm always left behind, I don't have anyone, I can't… I can't do this anymore…”
They look at Idia, puffy eyes filled with so much anger. “Why couldn't you have just kill me? Why? It would have been the one good thing you've ever done. Now I have to continue living like this! Doing this stupid job! Having to check on everyone— and no doubt when I'm able to walk again Crowley is going to make me check on you!”
Idia was whimpering, backing towards the door he came in from. He knew this was a bad idea. He should have just stayed in his room…
“I hate you! I hate everyone! Nobody here cares about me, no one here ever checks on me, I have to babysit all the time, I never get to rest! I can't rely on anyone– and I have no one.” Idia was shaking, and just like a shark to a drop of blood, Yuu smelt his fear was was going in for the kill.
They're leaning in as far as they can, holding the side of the hospital bed. “What are you cowering over? What, do I scare you that bad? Shouldn't I be the one afraid of you?!”
Yuu is now glaring, the fire inside them turning icy. “You are so pathetic, Idia. I hate you. Hate. You. Just go.”
He was relieved to finally get out of there. Now he can shut himself away and take care of anything he has to from a distance, behind a screen. Away from everyone.
Grim
Something was off.
Yuu wasn't themselves. They haven't been themselves since the whole STYX situation. The second they made it back to campus they didn't seem to be as tearful or relieved as everyone was. They were stiff in the group embrace. It was exhaustion. It had to be. The adrenaline had worn off and they could finally relax.
It didn't explain how Yuu continued to be so distant for the next week. They would always round him up and force him to at least try to study so he could be a great mage, how Yuu would get on his case about every single little thing. His chores, the food budget, their jobs.
It was bliss. Yuu was less strict and he could finally do whatever he wanted. No more holding him back, no more lectures, he was free. Surely the prefect as his henchman learned their place. But then it started to worry him.
Yuu didn't pay attention to him. They no longer helped him with anything. They didn't respond to any of his usual quips. They left whenever he started to instigate something. Yuu just… didn't back him up anymore.
Ace and Deuce noticed it too but when they asked Yuu about it, Yuu just shrugged it off. Seriously, what gives?! He shouldn't be treated like this!
It all came out in homeroom. As one student, he and his henchman were partners per usual. Yuu was careful. They handled everything with precision and care per usual— Proper safety precautions, careful measurements (their arm seemed to shake a bit more, that hasn't happened in the past), perfect stirs.
And, per usual, Grim barely did anything. Aside from messing everything up.
Crash!
Everyone stared at the broken vial on the floor, with Grim right above it. There was tension as Crewel turned to see the damage, looking to see who to punish before his head turned to Grim. “I-It was Yuu! They did it!!” He pointed his stubby paws at them not noticing how their eye seemed to twitch when he did so.
“Don't lie Grim, Yuu didn't do it, you're just blaming them.” a random student came to their defense, leaving Grim high and dry.
“I see. Well then. Grim will have detention after class, and as his caretaker, you will have to join him, Yuu. You need to learn to keep your partner on a tighter leash.”
Yuu seemed to deflate just a bit. “... Understood.” Then they turned away from him as usual. Not even a lecture.
“Geez Yuu, why didn't you pay attention to me? It wouldn't have fallen over if you'd have done your job.”
It looked like Crewel was about to step in to lecture him. But Yuu’s voice cut in front of his, voice cold. “Because I expected you to be able to do basic tasks without coddling after all this time… Besides, you aren't worth it.”
“Wh- What do you mean Yuu?”
“I hate you.” You could hear a pin drop in that room from how loud the silence was. Grim just stared. “Hah?” He then glared at them. “Don't joke like that its not that serious.”
Yuu just shrugged. “Hey! At least answer me!!”
“I meant it, Grim.”
“This isn't funny Yuu.”
“I am not joking.”The Prefect crossed their arms and stared down at him, gaze cold.
“Recently I had an epiphany, a realization more like.” Yuu was speaking in a clinical tone. In this moment they were a researcher sharing their findings in a factual manner.
“I can't remember a clear moment where you have done anything meaningful for me since we first met a year ago. It has just been cleaning up your messes and catering to your selfish whims one after the other. I think what finally made me realize, was this.”
Yuu pulled down the sleeve to their uniform to show off the deep cuts Grim left in them after his freakout. They were jagged and deep and would no doubt leave an ugly scar. Whispers broke out from the crowd, murmurs about the dire beast circulated.
“I struggle to close my hand quite often now,” To demonstrate, they tried to flex their hand. Their fingers didn't extend all the way. Their face contorted into pain as they winced, hand shaking Grim swallowed, guilt washing over him as he tried to look smaller. “It's not like I can get occupational therapy so easily here, so I have to live with this for now.”
They now leaned down to him. Grim's widened and Yuus face seemed to grow more and more snarky, more cruel. “None of this would have happened if you just listened. How many times have I warned you not to consume those waste gems?” Yuu then leaned away, hand under their chin as they continue.
“Anyways, I then thought some more about all the effort I put in just for it not to be reciprocated. This relationship we have is quite one sided. It's more like 90:10 on a good day… and since then, I started to hate you, and everything about you…”
“I am a brilliant mind, you realize that? It's just an objective fact. I can't believe it took me this long to realize just how pathetic you are. After all, I have picked up an otherworldly language and culture and became near the top of my classes with the effort I have put in. I have a better understanding of magic as a magicless student than you.”
The crowd just watched as Yuu paced a bit, sorting out all of their thoughts for all to see. It was different seeing them like this, bit the students seemed to eat it up, taking their side.
“You don't contribute anything to those around you. You don't even contribute anything meaningful to a basic conversation aside from complaining about how tired and hungry you are. You cannot even sit down and review simplified notes I made specially for you.” Grim was shrinking with each word spoken, it felt as though he was being stabbed a thousand times over. It was a betrayal that he should have expected of he had any self awareness.
“You're selfish. You always take from others and don't have any endearing traits to make up for it. I have gone days without meals because you couldn't fathom that I need to eat too. You fail to recognize others as people and use them as scapegoats. The only reason you're passing your classes is because I get straight As... Thank you for turning them into Cs by the way.”
They didn’t seem to care how he felt. They didn't feel bad. How could they? “Surely by now you should be able to take care of yourself, oh great mage? You always told me how overbearing I was. Thankfully, I have good news.” He had a feeling it wouldn't be good news…
“Crowley finally got around to making our grades separate from now on, so you can't rely on me anymore. Which is why I have been collecting and saving all of my graded assignments.” Oh no. That was bad news. It was good for Yuu, yes, but now he's screwed. I mean he doesn't deserve this right? It's not his fault this school is so hard! How is he supposed to pass now?!
“You're welcome. You got what you wanted. You're your own mage from now on. No need for a lowly human to drag you down.” This lowly human was the only reason he got this far.
"I'm sure I could find other students in my classes that will help me with any magic barriers— you are barely able to do it anyways. It doesn't matter if you get held back to me anymore, I can graduate without you. I no longer have to rely on you to exist here, so I can finally say it: I hate you.”
The class seemed shocked, asking each other if Grim really was that awful. Grim was blubbering, panicking. A firm smack of a ruler hitting the inside of a hand interrupted it all. “That's enough, Yuu! Bad dog!” Crewel tapped the ruler in his palm again.
“My apologies professor, I am done. I do hope my potion is up to your standards, seems like Grim hasn't started on his.” They set a delicate bottle on his desk, awaiting review.
He was panicked now. Wait. Fuck. He hasn't been helping. It was Yuus potion! The direbeast merely looked over to Yuu who cleaned up their workstation, not even sparing a glance to him until the very end. They looked over once more at Grim through their goggles.
“I do hope you remember your detention. In any case I am done here, I am going to go help other groups professor.” Just like that, they left him, Grim could only watch as the group they joined adopted them instantly, asking them if they were alright and offering their magic if they needed it. It was no suprise most student liked them. They were always kind. The only looks he got back were from other students that seemed to judge him.
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imliterallyf7ckin9crazy · 3 days ago
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꧁⋆°𝓢𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓭 𝓖𝓪𝓶𝓮 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓒𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼°⋆꧂
Squid game Season 2 men saving you when you almost die in the game
Characters: player 001, 230, 124
Warnings: canon violence, near death experience, toxic relationships, drug use, mention of suicide, romantic tension, f! Reader
A/N: this is no diss to anyone bc I respect the grind, I truly do, but everything I see of squid game is nsfw. I have to HUNT for sfw shit. I just gave up and just read everything anyways. So I’m trying to balance the scales a bit for rn. Again no diss bc yall nsfw writers COOK.
________
ᏢᏝᎯᎽᎬᏒ 001
(Weird ppl attacking you in game)
- ok so for this one I’ll say that you are just a average player in the games he happened upon. You two met because you were on the ‘X’ team, and more specifically in gi- Huns group.
- he normally is pretty resistant to the ‘worthless sob stories of the poor’ as he puts it. But for some odd reason, yours got to him
- thrown out of home, forced to survive and fend for yourself out in the streets, hopping from job to job because you can’t pay rent on time 8/10 and you get evicted. Pulling loan after loan to keep yourself afloat, and even that is starting to fail you. You are at the very end of the road and if you can’t manage to leave here without some money you are 100% fucked. You genuinely think the only way out of the hole you’ve dug is either a miracle in here or checking out of life manually.
- in-ho LOVES sad wet cat type people, he can’t help it. And even though he’s heard basically the same stories from hundreds of people yet somehow you stuck with him
- life was unfair to you, you were cast out. If that didn’t happen, you wouldn’t have to be living “like garbage”. Almost everyone else put themselves in their financial hole, you started in one. Not fair, see? He’s doing so much mental gymnastics and logistical jumping to validate himself. You’re different, you don’t count.
- you really weren’t a extremely strong individual , you didn’t draw attention to yourself like many of the others, you didn’t argue much or ask many questions. You came with a goal. And he respected that.
- after game two though, the marathon, you and many others decided it was time to call it quits. So you voted ‘X’ with gi-hun and everyone else. And surprisingly in-ho, or young-il as he named himself, also picked ‘X’
- you both didn’t really talk much besides maybe a few sentences to each other about how your group was meant to survive. But after the second vote, having a X on your shirt also meant having a target on your back. And being the “minding my own business” type it doubled that factor.
- a group of three people, two guys and one girl approached you. Sorrounding you and pestering you on your vote. It turned to raised voices and getting in your face, to shoving from all three people as you just stood there and took it, unwilling to change votes. Though you might not fight like some others that doesn’t mean you aren’t brave.
- though as soon as young-il (for simplicity) saw those men put hands on you he was already trudging his way cross room, leaving gi-hun mid conversation to aid you.
- you were backed against the bed frame of the stacked sleeping quarters, these three lunatics yelling and shoving you, telling you that you have to vote ‘O’ “or else”. You assumed it implied you leaving this place in a box.
- that’s when young-il made it to you. “That’s quite enough” he says, eyes cold as ice and facial expression locked in stone. His posture was straight and his head was held high. Very intimidating, it’s almost like he had a military commander type vide (hahaha- odd right??)
- the girl was quick to scamper off, giving you a glare as she informs the boys she’ll be waiting by their group. The men however puff their chests out and square up a bit, and you get second hand embarrassment because young-il doesn’t even flinch or break the deadly eye contact. “Are you sure.” Is all he said. It didn’t sound like an actual question, more of a “are you sure you wanna get your ass beat in front of all these people” threat.
- they got the memo from his venomous words and slowly creeped off back to wherever they came from, looking like puppies with their tails tucked as they walked away.
- “thank you so much” you say, bowing slightly in gratitude for his kindness. He gives you a nice chuckle before lifting your shoulders back up.
- “oh no no, it’s nothing. Those boys should know better, I bet their mothers would chew their ears off if they saw their lack of manners” he jokes, earning a giggle from you.
- it makes him feel kinda fuzzy, but he compartmentalizes that feeling for when he’s alone and can process it. In the mean time he just places his hand on your lower back, guiding you back to the group where you will be safe (and in arms reach)
- this just opened a Pandora’s box of possessiveness and lies, and he doesn’t even know how it will end
ᏢᏝᎯᎽᎬᏒ 230
(Mingle)
- for this let’s just say that you met up with thanos for the second game, the marathon one, and yall clicked a bit, leading him to tell you that “you should stay with me and my crew, for safety”
- and so you do. What could be the harm? He’s clearly deranged and a loose cannon, wouldn’t it be better to just go along before he kills you?
- is what you originally thought. Turns out after that conversation and you joined, he really isn’t that bad to be around. When he’s high he always makes you laugh, constantly cracking jokes and making fun of people at their expense to make you smack his shoulder a bit, saying “be nice!”
- you noticed he thrives on attention, and you give it to him freely. It’s hard not to when he’s got bright purple hair, hand tattoos WITH rainbow painted nails, and he’s rapping and dancing like he was in the comfort of his own home. Plus nam gyu, the guy who lowkey bullied the shit out of you the first few days was now told to “chill out man”
- now, you were all standing on a spinning circular floor, a cute little cheery jingle being played from over the speakers. Thanos and nam gyu danced together to the music, high in ways you didn’t even know you could get. It was pretty silly though, acting like kids.
- then the music dropped, and a number was said. You had to run with that number of people into a room to live. Those left behind will die
- the first few rounds were easy, the numbers were quite high and you held onto thanos’ jacket to stay with the group. The sounds of people begging to be let in followed by being punctured with bullets rang in your mind and the number for people in groups got lower and lower, until the number was two.
- you, thanos, nam gyu and min-su all stared at each other for a moment, frozen on who to pick before thanos started throwing his head from side to side before turning and gripping your arm and nam gyus, running full speed and pulling you along, forcing you to leave min-su. Though you felt horrible once you saw his shocked little face, you just kept going. Choosing to save your life instead of feeling bad and dying there.
- thanos shoved nam gyu towards the door next to the one you were about to be tossed in, luckily he saw someone was waiting by themselves in the room, so he was safe with two. Nam gyu gave him a small nod to let him know he was safe and set to survive.
- thanos rushed you in, slamming the door behind him and peering out. This was the last round, you made it. The door beeped behind you and locked, ensuring your victory of the game.
- adrenaline was still pumping through your veins as you gazed up at him from your spot cowering against the wall as gun shots rang. You didn’t even hear the people screaming or the poor souls who were locked from the room right behind you and thanos, damming you to hell for getting to the room first as they die. “Holy shit” you say as you look at him as he smiled back. “We did it.”
- “yup” he says confidently “now let’s see how much money we earned” thanos says as he pulled open the door for the final time. Before he can step out you grab his sleeve “hey- uh thank you” you mumbled
- he could have just left you like min-su and went with nam gyu, but he chose to save you.
- “what? Nah it’s nothing. Don’t worry” he says, patting you on the head and steering you out of the room
ᏢᏝᎯᎽᎬᏒ 124
(Lights out fight)
- there was a obvious tension in the air, one that nearly suffocated you as you sat with nam gyu on a bed… thanos’ bed.
- the vote ended in a tie, meaning the vote was to be redone the following day. After that was announced, your friends thanos and nam gyu went to the bathroom to ‘help even out the votes’. Specifically to talk to that poor min-su they’ve been harassing non stop. Only just nam gyu came back out. Eyes blown wide and covered head to toe in thick splashes of blood. Your heart nearly died when you saw him stumbling dazed out of the bathroom. You knew SOMETHING had happened when no thanos returned safely to you.
- after that, he tried convincing you they didn’t start the fight, which you saw right through. Eventually he dropped that act and told you straight up what went down. How your friend was murdered. Nam gyu tried covering his pain up by insulting thanos and taking two of his pills from the cross he stole from him. Calling him an asshole and an idiot. Again, you saw right through.
- you brought your hand up to his face to wife some blood off with your sleeve. And he leaned right into it, sighing very very deeply as he crushed the drugs between his teeth. He held your hand to his face, which you thought was just him being cute until he started talking about how there needed to be a total blood bath that night. To ensure team ‘O’ wins and you both could keep going. You tried to pull away but his grip kept you like in your spot next to him.
- “no nam gyu, we can’t just kill these people. They are just like us they just need money-“
- “yes! That’s the fucking point. We need that danm money, can’t you see? We won’t fucking win with all those stupid fucking cockroaches leeching our money” he hisses, harsh words contrasting with his hands tracing patterns gently on yours. “We won’t win this vote with them alive, we won’t get more money with them all alive. This is the only way”
- he just kept going and going until you agreed, saying you’d at least let him go out and kill and you’d be his little look out. Only nothing can go smoothly for anyone ever here.
- while there’s lights flashing and people screaming, blood and gore being sprayed from the alive and leaking from the dead, you are trying to make out what is going on around you. You can (faintly) see nam gyu out in the room, grabbing people and ripping them to shreds with his fork, the very fork that killed thanos to be exact.
- while you were looking around for nam gyu, someone had come up behind you, grabbing you by the neck and trying to choke you out. You screamed out nam gyus name as loud as you could as the attackers grip tightened and tightened to the point where you thought your neck was bound to snap. Your vision going out slowly as all you can recognize becomes the sound of the chaos. Until suddenly you were freed, and your assaulter was ripped off you and pinned to the ground by nam gyu.
- he started repeatingly stabbing the person, blood flying onto you and him as he slit the person open. When he stopped you basically flung yourself at him, crying “thank you! Thank you!”. He just saved your life, though You could barely recognize him, he was lost completely in drug fueled blood lust and rage.
- maybe not completely you figured, as he rushed to you and scooped you up. He returned you to a bunk, telling you to hide there and wait for him. Promising you he’ll come back, that he will keep you safe. And he did, as the lights came on and the gun shots rung out, he was alive and on his way back to you
______
Bet yall can’t guess who my favorite is >:3
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solarsturniolo · 2 days ago
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𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: in which Matt is failing his classes and at risk of having to repeat the semester, and his tutor is the reason behind it.
𝕯𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗: This is a collaborative story that me and another person started on, but I am in charge of it now :) All characters in this story are of age. None of the characters are minors.
𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: cursing / smut / switch!matt / switch!fem reader / male masturbation / wet dreams / use of good boy / virgin!matt / p in v / oral (fem receiving) / oral (male receiving) / overstimulation / breeding kink / praise kink / mommy kink / scenes mentioning anxiety
𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝕮𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 3,700
Previous parts: Intro / One / Two /
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He tossed and turned that night, unable to get the dream out of his head. It had all felt so real. He could smell her perfume, waves of vanilla surrounding him as he laid at her mercy. He could feel her touch, her soft fingers running along his skin, a trail of goosebumps following close behind, warmth encompassing him. He could hear her voice, soft praises and coos of adoration falling from her lips, her tone warm and sweet, flowing like maple syrup dripping from a stack of pancakes. He could taste her lips as she kissed him, her cherry chapstick driving him wild as he nipped at her bottom lip. He could see her electrifying gaze as they locked eyes, his orgasm rushing through his body like a lightning bolt striking a tree. It felt so real…
He tried to fall asleep again, really he did. He wanted to fall asleep again. He wanted to drift back into the heavenly dream he had previously found himself in. He prayed to whatever higher power would listen to him, begging to be transported back into his dream. After twenty minutes of tossing and turning, peeking over at his alarm clock, groaning in annoyance, and repeating the cycle, Matt found himself sitting up in his bed. He grabbed his phone from his nightstand, unplugging it from the charger that was barely holding itself together after years of use. He tried to distract himself, hoping that the incessant scrolling and non-stimulating content would lull him to sleep. Unfortunately, he wasn’t that lucky. Even after scrolling through and switching between apps, Matt only found himself wide awake, annoyed, and horny.
Undeniably, uncontrollably, unbelievably horny. 
Matt opened the Safari app on his phone, clicking the address bar. The all too familiar website popped up without him even needing to type anything, a clear sign that he had made this search far too many times. Matt made a mental note to clear his search history as he clicked on the site, waiting impatiently for it to load. 
He scrolled through page after page, briefly glimpsing at the exaggerated titles to each video, none of which captured his interest. He let out a frustrated grunt, his dick straining against the cotton fabric of his boxers. He wanted nothing more than to jerk off, to get rid of the incessant throbbing so that he could just sleep, but unfortunately for Matt, he was picky with the porn he watched. Chris made fun of him for it, but he didn’t care. Seeing a woman bent over on some AirBnB couch getting the shit railed out of her, filling the empty disconnected atmosphere with obnoxious sounds, feigning the one thing he truly craved; he just couldn’t bring himself to watch something so meaningless, nonetheless enjoy it. Nothing about it was appealing to him. It wasn’t real. He wanted something real. 
But he had no idea how he felt about actual sex. He’d kissed a few times, but never with tongue and nothing past that. The furthest he had ever gotten was the time he made out with a girl in ninth grade and creamed his pants when she straddled his lap.  Matt was always insecure about his inexperience, afraid that when the time finally came, he would disappoint. This was brand new territory for him…and it was all her fault.
His gaze flickered to the top of his phone, reading the time that was displayed on the screen. “Holy shit,” he muttered. It was much too late in the night for him to still be awake, and yet here he was, pulling on a pair of faded flannel pyjama pants before shuffling over to the door. His fingertips grazed over the handle, unlocking the door and slowly pushing it open. Matt looked down the dark hallway, and once he was sure everyone was asleep, he carefully tiptoed over to the stairs. 
Each step had Matt tensing up, the old wooden floorboards groaning and squeaking under the weight of his feet. He cringed at a particularly loud step, even pausing for a moment to ensure he hadn’t woken anyone up. After another painfully long three minutes, Matt finally reached the bottom of the steps and made a beeline for the kitchen. In seconds he found himself standing in front of Nick’s bedroom door, and Matt raised his hand to knock but he hesitated. He leaned closer, his ear ghosting over the old faded wood. The muffled sound of the tv could be heard, along with Nick’s agitated remarks. “Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t fucking deserve her and now you’re getting her voted off!?” Matt smiled to himself. Once he was sure that his brother was awake and not murmuring nonsense in his sleep, he knocked on the door.
“God fucking- Yeah! Come in!.”
 He opened the door to see the room bathed in lavender LED light, the television playing whatever show Nick had suddenly found interest in. Tonight, it just so happened to be one of those ridiculous dating reality TV shows. Nick sat in his bed, his back propped against pillows, legs stretched out and arms crossed over his stomach. He turned his head the second the door opened, half expecting Mary Lou to come lecture him for being too loud, but he relaxed upon seeing his brother in the doorway. “Jesus, you can’t sleep either?” Nick huffed. “Get in here.”
Matt furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, until he saw Chris’s head poke up from the other side of the bed. He was sitting on the floor, for whatever reason, and he flashed a cheesy grin when he saw his brother standing in the doorway. 
“Why are you on the floor.”
“Wow, nice to see you too Matthew,” Chris rolled his eyes. “Nice of you to show your face at-“ he held up his arm, looking at his bare wrist. “Two thirty in the morning.” 
“Ignore him,” Nick mumbled, rolling his eyes and grabbing the remote controller from his nightstand to pause his show. “He’s annoyed because Nate left him hanging-“
Chris huffed, an inaudible response following as he turned back around and sunk back down onto the floor. The other two shared a look of irritation at the sound of Chris typing on his phone, the younger of the trio completely unbothered by the incessant clicking. Rolling his eyes, Nick looked at Matt expectantly. “Well?” 
Matt sighed, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him. He sulked over to Nick’s bed, collapsing onto the empty side as his brother moved over to make space for him. Matt wriggled under Nick’s blankets, keeping his face buried in the pillow. 
“What’s wrong,” Nick said, his tone changing the question to a demand. 
The keyboard sounds paused for a moment. “Yeah, your vibe is like…weird,” Chris added. He langered up from the ground and sat on the edge of his brother’s mattress. “You didn’t talk to us like all afternoon.” 
Matt sighed, questioning if he should say anything at all. But his brothers were his sanctuary. He always told them everything. It was eating him up inside, keeping this from them. He wasn’t good at keeping secrets, especially from the two people that could always read him like a book. He wanted to tell them everything; his grades, the tutoring, her. 
He decided to take one life crisis at a time. 
 “...There’s a girl,” He started. 
Nick shrieked. Chris looked at Nick, punching him in the upper arm as a proud smile formed on his face. “I fucking told you, you owe me lunch tomorrow.” 
Matt looked up from the pillow, furrowing his eyebrows yet again. “You knew?”
“Well no shit,” Chris laughed. “You? Willingly going to the library? I put the pieces together,” he smirked. “So what were you doing in the library with this girl?” he teased. 
Matt felt his face flush with heat, shooting a glare in Chris’s direction. “Nothing you’re thinking, pervert. We…” he trailed off. I can’t tell them I'm failing. I just can’t do it. “We were going over a project for English. That’s it.”
“Do we know her?” Nick asked as he opened instagram up on his phone. He wasn’t disinterested, but he knew how his brother was. Matt got embarrassed easily, so on the rare occasion that Nick did want to know more, he also knew that he had to be mindful of his reactions. Nonchalance was his best bet.
Matt huffed. Chris’s eyes widened and his smile grew. “No fucking way.”
“Chris-“
“Still?! It’s been four years, man!”
Nick looked back and forth between the two, confused by their exchange. Matt groaned, flopping back down face first into the pillow. “Matt liked this girl in our grade back when we started high school, but couldn’t grow the nuts to ask her out,” Chris filled Nick in. “We had her in our woodshop class last year and it was like I was partners with a brick wall,” Chris laughed, only making Matt all the more embarrassed. “I didn’t think you still liked her.”
“Shut up,” he groaned. 
Nick finally decided to chime in, dropping his phone onto his chest. “Wait a second, it’s not that girl from your weird baking class was it?” 
Matt’s face grew even more red, if that was even possible. “Nick, shut up-“
Now it was Chris’s turn to tilt his head quizzically, brow furrowed, looking at Nick expectantly for some context. “Baking class? The fuck-“
“Introduction to culinary,” Matt corrected them, hiding his face with the palms of his hands. 
“You were probably at practice or something,” Nick dismissed his younger brother with a wave of his hand before continuing. “Matt’s cooking class had some weird competition thing after school, me and mom went to it-“
“Nick, shut the fuck up,” Matt warned his brother, though his threat was open ended and held no real weight to it. He rolled onto his side, his back facing his brothers.
“Matt made this god awful chicken parmesan, but mom pretended to like it-“
Matt huffed, crossing his arms over his chest now. “It wasn’t that bad-“ he defended, remembering the way his mother cupped his face and kissed his forehead in the middle of the classroom, praising him for his hard work, all the while his brother discretely tossed his plate into the garbage bin out of sight. 
“Anyways, we all got to try everyone’s food and this girl made the BEST fucking coconut cream pie. Chris, it was actually unreal how fucking good it was-“
“Nick I swear to fuck-“
Chris smiled in amusement, criss-crossing his legs as he indulged himself in Nick’s story telling. It was rare for Chris to remain quiet like this, but at the expense of his brother’s ego, he remained engaged and attentive. Matt groaned, realizing there was no way to stop his brother from telling this embarrassingly awful story. He yanked the pillow out from behind his head, letting his head fall back onto the mattress before pulling the pillow over his face, wanting nothing more than to suffocate himself right then and there. 
“This motherfucker tries the pie, looks her dead in the eyes, and tells her he likes her cream-“
Matt flinched at the ferocity of Chris’s laughter thundering throughout the room, echoes of it bouncing off of the walls. The sound was followed by countless shushes from Nick, beckoning their brother to keep his voice down. “Mom and dad are sleeping you idiot,” Nick hissed, smacking Chris on the arm. Usually, Chris would retaliate and hit him back, but he was far too entertained by the story to even care about the sting he felt on his bicep. 
“You told her-“ he cut himself off, laughing again. Matt groaned and rolled over onto his back, pressing the pillow into his face with more force. Maybe if I press down hard enough, I’ll suffocate myself. “You told her you liked her cream?” Chris managed to force out between giggles. 
“No-“ Matt grunted, closing his eyes tightly as he felt the pillow being snatched from his grasp. “I told her I really liked her cream.”
This, of course, causes another fit of giggles to rise from Chris’s chest. Tears flooded his eyes as he leaned forward, doing everything within his power to keep his volume at a decent level. Nick rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t contain the toothy grin that snuck its way onto his face. “You guys suck,” Matt grumbled. “This is like middle school humor, grow up,” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest once again. He tried to push the memory out of his mind, but it crept up on him and lingered, like a monster in the shadows. Her fingers grazing past his as she handed him a plate, her gaze locking with his as he eagerly tasted her homemade dessert, the words escaping him faster than he could even think.
Chris sniffled, grasping his shirt collar as he found himself finally settling after his laughing fit. He laid himself between his brothers, wrapping an arm over the front of Matt’s shoulders. “I love you, man. You crack me up,” he grinned, another string of giggles threatening to escape him as he replayed the moment in his head again. 
“I can’t ask her out, not after that-“ Matt mumbled, carefully uncrossing his arms so as to not disturb his brother’s comfortable resting position. He’d never admit it, but he quite enjoyed his brothers being touchy with him. Something about it made him feel safe and connected with them. It felt like home. 
“Maybe she found it flattering,” Nick suggested. “She probably knew you were talking about the pie-“
“Or were you?” Chris smirked, raising an eyebrow at Matt. 
In a swift motion, Matt walloped Chris in the bicep, shooting him a look that made Chris shiver. “Alright dude, my bad.”
Matt looked over at Nick, desperation clear in his eyes. “What the fuck do I do, man? I can barely fucking focus during our study sessions,” he sighed. 
Nick’s eyebrows furrowed. “I thought you were working on a project?”
Matt felt his heart drop, his mouth going dry. Fuck. He needed to lie, and he needed to do it fast. “Same thing, you know what I meant,” he mumbled. He pushed Chris’s arm off of his upper chest, rolling his eyes when Chris moved his arm right back to where it had been seconds prior. 
Nick dismissed Matt’s previous statement, not thinking too much of his slip up. “Tell her she’s pretty and ask her out. She is pretty, right?”
Matt’s eyes closed, his chest falling with a deep exhale. All he could think about was her. Her smile, her eyes, her laugh, her voice…Once he had started to feel his dick stiffen in his pyjama pants, he opened his eyes once more, staring at the ceiling. “I can’t even find the words, man.”
“Then it should be easy. Can we be done here? I’m trying to see who’s gonna get voted off next,” Nick mumbled, leaning back against the headboard of his bed, his focus shifting back to the television on his dresser. 
X O X O X O
Matt hadn't gotten much sleep that night. He watched with heavy eyes as the numbers on his alarm clock changed; every sixty seconds felt like an hour. His head spun, his imagination driving him crazy with fake scenario after fake scenario, conversations that would never happen, touches they would never share. His heart felt heavy. Matt huffed, rolling over onto his other side.  He winced, his hand moving to relieve the ache between his legs. Never in his life did Matt feel as sexually frustrated as he did now. Even when he went through puberty, it was never like this. The desire burning in him was a flame so ancient, yet so ripe at the same time. Foreign, yet familiar. A primal hunger for physical connection, a thirst for release. Diseased with lust. It felt wrong to feel this way, to crave any piece of her. Hell, he hardly knew her. But God, it felt so right at the same time. To crave her, to need her, to have her all to himself. It was enthralling. Perpetual. Addicting. 
The only downside to it was the sneaking around. He hated lying to his brothers, it made his stomach flip and his palms sweat, but he was far too embarrassed and ashamed to admit what was really going on. To admit that if he wasn’t nearly doomed to repeat senior year, she would have never even looked his way. 
Although it wasn’t ideal, being in this tutoring program gave him a newfound purpose. And, yes, there was a possibility that the program itself wasn’t the only aspect that had Matt leaping out of bed in the morning. 
It was strange. He had never spent so long trying to get ready in the mornings before school. Usually he’d throw on the nearest pair of sweats and whatever hoodie he had laying around in his room. But now it was different. He wanted to look good; he wanted to look good for her. He felt ridiculous, to say the least. Outfit after outfit, pulled on and quickly discarded into a pile on the floor. Matt huffed, going to his dresser and opting on a pair of cargo pants instead of his usual sweatpants. 
It would be worth noting that February in Somerville Massachusetts is cold. Very fucking cold. By deciding on the cargos, Matt was also sacrificing his comfort and warmth…but if she would even notice or say anything, it would be worth it. And so, Matt snatched a purple crewneck from his closet and turned, shutting the door with his heel as he pulled it on over his head. He finished off the outfit with his air forces that were falling apart at the seams and, before he left his bedroom, he went back to his dresser, opening the top drawer. He dug around through the plethora of socks, his fingers brushing over the cold glass bottle buried beneath them. 
He didn’t usually wear cologne. He couldn’t even remember how he had gotten this bottle in his possession. But none of that mattered to him now. All that mattered was making the best impression that he could. He was mindful; only one spritz on the neck and one on his wrists. He buried the bottle back into his sock drawer before rushing to his full length mirror. He fixed his necklace, ensuring that the clasp was at the back of his neck. Matt ran his fingers through his hair, fluffing it and fixing it, huffing in annoyance as it fell right back into place. Once he was satisfied with his look, he grabbed his favorite coat from where it hung on the back of his desk chair and snatched his backpack from the corner of the room. He closed his bedroom door behind him as he left, flicking the light to his room off, and began his descent to the kitchen where his brothers were already waiting. He pulled his coat on, taking the last step down the staircase. Matt rounded the corner, passing the family room and finally stepping foot into the kitchen.
Nick’s gaze was locked on his phone, though he still managed to greet Matt. “Do you have a fucking herd of elephants up in your room?” He mumbled. 
Matt’s face reddened. “Huh?”
“You-” Nick looked up, and immediately his brow furrowed with suspicion. “It’s nine degrees out and you chose today to not wear sweatpants?” He questioned. 
Chris looked over his shoulder from where he sat at the island, shoulders hunched, his mouth full of toast. He didn’t bother waiting to swallow his food before speaking, though that came as a shock to neither of his brothers. “The fuck…you’re gonna turn into an ice cube.” Chris’s eyes widened as he took his phone out of his jacket pocket. “Wait, now I wanna listen to Ice Cube-“
Matt pointed at Chris languidly. “Not happening, I’m getting aux.”
Chris huffed, dropping his phone face down onto the countertop. “Fuck you,” he mumbled under his breath, shoveling the remaining piece of toast into his mouth. Matt shuffled over to the fridge, eyeing the contents inside. His stomach growled, but nothing seemed appetizing. He checked the pantry next, snatching a granola bar and a bag of mini muffins, stuffing them into his coat pocket. He closed the pantry door with gentle intent. His brow furrowed at the feeling of his phone vibrating in his pocket, but once he pulled it out and checked the notification, his heart leapt into his throat. Matt’s ears glowed a bright red, his palms beginning to sweat as he typed his password in and opened Snapchat. 
Snapchat // New Message 
no tutoring today, extra curricular stuff (groan). keep working on your essay and i’ll check it tmrw :) 
Matt stared at the message, his heart sinking in his chest. All of the effort he put into his appearance today was for nothing. He exhaled, leaning against the wall as he thought of what to say. Something nonchalant, something cool…anything that didn’t scream desperation. 
Oh ok.
He had to admit, he was disappointed. He had really been looking forward to seeing her again. He thought for a moment before he opened his Snapchat again, clicking back into the chat. 
Yk I’m free after school if your still up for it.
He stared at the message for a long time; so long that her bitmoji had popped up in the bottom left corner, peeking out over the text bar. ‘Jesus Matt,’ he thought to himself. ‘For once in your life, grow some fucking balls.’
He clicked the send button and, with just as much haste, he fled the chat and locked his phone, shoving it back into his pocket. “If you’re not in the car in five minutes I’m leaving without you,” Matt announced, walking past Nick towards the stairs, making his way down to the mudroom to leave. Nick lifted his head again, looking towards the staircase with a furrowed brow.
“Are you fucking wearing cologne?!”
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𖥔‧₊˚ ⊹ Tags 𖥔‧₊˚ ⊹
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214 notes · View notes
m-neuvillette · 2 days ago
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Star Rail and Genshin Men - Them being protective
Characters: Aventurine, Dr Ratio, Gepard, Kazuha, Kinich, Zhongli x fem reader
Author notes: rude parents in Gepard's, rude comments made to reader in most, creepy men, falling in Kinich's, fighting in Kazuha's, protective men (they are so hot hehehe)
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Aventurine
Aventurine is an avid gambler through and through, everyone knows that. He puts everything on the table when betting, his money, his own life, really just about anything. But there is just one thing that he would never ever gamble with. Can you guess what that one thing is?
You two were passing time after you both finished your work for the day and decided to go the casino for some, in Aventurine’s book, light gambling. Though it’s never light gambling when it comes to him, he’s an all or nothing kind of guy. 
As you guys walk into the casino you giggle and turn to him, “Hey Aventurine, don’t go too crazy tonight, we still need money for dinner.” Though you know full well that you guys will have enough money for dinner, he is a Stoneheart after all, you enjoy teasing him with his gambling.
He raises an eyebrow and looks down at you before smirking. “Oh ho what’s this? Are you telling me to be careful with my money? Don’t you worry you’re pretty little head over dinner, I’ll be taking it all tonight.” He lightly knocks your forehead with one of his fingers before dragging you gently to a table.
You giggle softly at his antics before sitting down next to him at the table. As time stretches on, and you had a few drinks, you lay your head on Aventurine’s shoulder. You always tell him that his shoulder gives you the best and most comfortable view when he’s gambling.
When he feels your head on his shoulder he looks down at you and smiles softly before lightly pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll only play a few more rounds then we can head home alright dear?” You nod against his shoulder and wish him the best of luck, not that he’ll really need it. 
One of the other players at the table look at the interactions between you two and smirks darkly. “Hey, why not for this next round bet your little girlfriend? It’d make for such a good game, and it can be the last game of the night too.” When you hear that your eyes widen and you snap your head up, off of Aventurine’s shoulder, and look around at the table in alarm. Because did that guy seriously just ask if Aventurine would bet you??
Aventurine’s eyes darken at the guy’s “request” before he gets up and slowly walks over to him. “If you think that you can ever suggest that I bet my darling girlfriend and get away with it, you are sorely mistaken friend. I would never bet her and you clearly don’t know what it means to bet someone you love, otherwise you never would have asked that. Now, I suggest that you walk out of here now or I won’t be so kind.” 
The guy’s eyes widen in fear before he sputters out apology after apology and runs out of the casino. After that, Aventurine walked right back to you and gives you the biggest hug and kisses you on the forehead. He then picks you up bridal style and walks you out of the casino.
“I’m sorry that you had to hear that my dear. Never think that I would bet you in any gamble, it doesn’t matter what situation I may be in, you are the one thing in life that I would not bet.” You smile softly up at him before burying your head in his chest. 
“Thank you Aventurine, that truly means the world to me. Though I may not gamble like you, know that I would never bet you either. You’ve become my home and love, I never want to give that up. I love you my precious gem.” 
Once you’re outside, he looks down before setting you down and titling your chin up. He presses a gentle kiss to your lips, “And I love you more my shimmering aurora.”
Dr Ratio
You like surprising your boyfriend with lunch every once in a while. It gives him a break but it also lets you two enjoy each other’s company midday. Ratio was having a rough week. His students were not making deadlines, his coworkers bothering him with mediocre conversations, and has barely any time to read due to all the late submissions of assignments. You think that bringing him lunch will cheer him up. 
You finished making his lunch and packing it. You slip on your shoes, grab your purse, and grab his lunch then head out to meet him in his office. After the walk to the school you get to the main office to check in and get a visitor badge. You see Mary sitting behind the desk and greet her, “Hi Mary! How are you today?”
Mary smiles back at you and replies, “Hi! I am doing good, it’s a pretty slow day today. But I haven’t seen you in a while, dropping off a lunch for Dr. Ratio again?”
You nod, “Yep. He has been having a rough week so I thought a little break with some good and me would really help or well I hope it helps.” 
“He is always in a better mood for the rest of the day after you come by.” Giving you a little smirk and wink. “Here is your pass. He should be in his office now.” You thank Mary and head out the door she pointed to have you go through. You weave your way through the hallway’s to Ratio’s office once you get to where his office is, you see it empty. You realize that he got a new and bigger office since the last time you have come here. You groan forgetting that detail so now you’re left to wandering around trying to find him.
The school is massive and has many twists and turns that you eventually get lost. You keep retracing your steps and following the signs on the walls but nothing is helping. You decide to head back to an area that had multiple hallways to walk down and choose the last one you haven’t walked down yet. Once you get there you start to head down the hallway just as you turn the corner you run into two people. 
One person drops all the stuff they were holding while the other spills coffee on the first person. You stand there shocked for a second but start to quickly apologize, “Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry!! Here let me help you pick your stuff up. I also have tissues in my purse you can have so you can dry your jacket.” You bend down to pick up the papers but the man who dropped the papers starts to yell, “DO NOT TOUCH THOSE PAPERS! Did you even think to look at where you are going you idiot? How did you even get a job here if you can’t pay attention to where you are going!?!” 
The second man speaks up, “Look she is a visitor. So she doesn’t even belong here. She’s just a stupid every day person, not a scholar.”
You go to stand up again shaking and trying hard to hold back tears. They are being so mean for no reason, no wonder why Ratio hates his colleagues. You begin to speak up, “I didn’t see you because of the corner. Again I am really sorry. Can I please help?”
The first guy scoffs, “You think I want the help from a dumb woman? That’s laughable.” You start to cry and try to stutter out another apology, “I- I just…” 
The second guy is quick to cut you off, “You what? You are acting like a child, I know 10 year olds that act better and are smarter than you. Just leave.” 
The first guy pitches in, “Yeah you dumb whore, get out of here. No scholar has the time for you.” You hang your head in defeat letting the tears flow down your face. You go to turn around and leave until you feel a strong arm wrap around you and a warmth on your back. Then you hear a low voice you quickly recognize, “Care to repeat that?”
The two men stand straight with their eyes wide open. The first man speaks up, “Dr. Ratio, hello! It’s nothing you have to worry about just some dumb women who doesn’t belong here disrupting our walk from the printer.” 
Ratio tightens his grip on you and grits his jaw, “This does worry me because this is my girlfriend.” The two men turn to each other and then look back at Ratio to start apologizing, “We are so sorry Dr. Ratio! It’s just she isn’t paying attention and caused a mess.”
“I do not care about your walk from the printer. I am wasting my time talking to you two incompetent fools but as soon as you decide to insult my intelligent girlfriend thats when I start to care.” The men are shaking in their boots while Ratio continues, “It is not me who deserves your pathetic apology it’s her. You two better make the apology more sincere or I will see to it myself that you two are fired. It’s not like anyone would miss you two.” The men profusely shake their heads and turn to you. 
“We are so sorry ma’am for everything we have said. If Dr. Ratio can vouch for your intelligence then we were severely mistaken with our comments. We hope you can forgive us.” You don’t get to respond because Ratio tells them to get out of his sight. The two men scurry off while Ratio grabs your hand and drags you to his office. 
Once you two are in his office he shuts and locks the door then turns to you and pulls you into a tight hug. “I am sorry I was not there earlier to stop those absolute fools. I will see to it that they are fired. They were never useful anyways.” You snuggle into his chest more and let out a muffled response, “It’s not your fault. I was just trying to surprise you but I forgot you got a new office so I got lost. I am sorry I caused such a scene.” 
Ratio pulls back tips your chin up to look at him, “Do not blame yourself, this is not your fault. Let’s not waste anymore time talking about those fools. You brought me lunch so let’s enjoy that.” You smile at him and he leans down to give you a quick kiss then leads you to his desk. He sits down then pulls you into his lap, “Let’s dig in shall we?”
After eating and Ratio walking you out, you left to go home. Ratio came home a couple hours later telling you that the two men that yelled at you were now fired and gone. He is a man of his word. 
Gepard
You met Gepard through Serval. You were looking for a job because you just moved to the city and couldn’t get any other business to offer you a position. You bumped into Serval carrying a couple of boxes into her shop and offered to help her carry in the rest of the boxes. You two talked for a bit about you being “a new face in the city” and how you were looking for a job. Serval then offered you a job at Neverwinter Workshop. A couple days after working at the workshop Gepard came in to have his weekly catch up time but saw you and Serval talking. She introduced you two and the rest is history.
Gepard and you have been dating for a couple months now, it is a little hard with him being the Captain of the Silvermane Guards but you two make it work. Whenever he has free time he is taking you out on dates or just spending time with you. Gepard just got done with patrols so he came over to your apartment. You can tell he is super tired so you give him a pair of his pajamas he has left at your place and then you push him into your bed to rest. That doesn’t stop him from grabbing your arm when you push him down so you land right on top of him. 
Gepard’s phone wouldn’t stop going off so he grabbed it from the bedside table and looked at the notifications. You feel him stiffen so you pick your head up and set your chin on his chest looking at him then break the silence, “Is everything okay?” 
Gepard gulps and sets down his phone, “Uh so Serval texted me saying how our parents want to meet you.”
You giggle at his reaction, “Okay? That doesn’t sound bad at all. Are you nervous about me doing something?”
He shoots up holding and reaches a hand to cup your face, “No not at all! I am worried about my parents doing something not you. You’re the last person I worry about doing something mean or bad.” 
“What do you mean by that?”
Gepard sighs running a hand through his hair, “My parents really care and I mean really care about the Landau family legacy. They were mad I started dating someone that isn’t high status and they think I am ruining the family name. I don’t want them to harass you all night to try and prove their point of view.” 
You smile at his thoughtfulness, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll be okay. After all you’ll be there right?” You run a hand through his hair and continue, “Plus the more we avoid them, the more they are going to be upset with you so let’s just do it.” Gepard just sighs and nods. He reaches for his phone to tell Serval that you two will meet them for dinner.
A couple days go by and it’s time for the dinner with Gepard’s parents. He has been nervous and jittery all day, and it is starting to rub off on you. Yes, you told him everything would be fine but now that the time is here it is nerve-racking. Are you dressed too casual? Too formal? Do you look bad? Is your makeup too dull? Too extra? Is your hair messy? UGH! This is so stressful. Your thoughts are going a mile a minute until you feel fingers pressing your chin up. You see Gepard smiling at you, “You look beautiful. Ready to go?” Not trusting your voice you nod to answer him. Gepard knows something is off but doesn’t want to push you. He takes a deep breath before leading you out of his apartment. As you two walk to his parents’ house, he can’t wait for this night to be over.
Once you two get to his parents’ house he knocks on the door. The door opens with a maid answering the door, “Gepard, It is so nice to see you again! Oh and you must be his girlfriend! You look lovely tonight. Oh my, it is so cold! Come in you two!” You two walk in and the maid shuts the door, “Gepard, you should have told me to be quiet so you two can come inside and get warm!” Gepard laughs, “Kota, it’s good to see you again. Don’t worry the sun is still up so it wasn’t that cold for us.”
Gepard introduces you two and then Kota leads you to the dining room, “Your parents are in there. Good luck my boy.” She then scurries off before Gepard can respond. He runs a hand down his face, “Let’s get this over with sweetheart.” He pushed the door open to be met with the sight of a massive dining room, a very long table filled with so much food, and his parents already sitting down. You two walk in and Gepard pulls a chair out for you, once you have sat down he pushes you closer to the table. He then takes the seat right next to you. You hear a feminine voice break the silence, “So this is the servant girl you are fooling around with? This ugly woman should be able to sit herself, not need help from someone of your status to help her with it.” You are shocked, she really came out running. You see Gepard clench his fists under the table and respond to his mom, “Do not speak of her like that. Can we just have dinner in peace please?” His mom rolls her eyes and lets out a little “hmph”. You ignore the comment, yes it stung a bit but it can’t get worse can it? You all are going to be eating for most of it so they can’t say anything else right? You all make your plates and start to eat. It is eerily silent until his dad speaks up, “So I heard you work at that junk heap with my daughter?” 
You brighten instantly at his comment even though he is clearly making fun of it, “Yes, the Nerverwinter Workshop! Serval is a genius, she’s teaching me so many cool things-“ You are swiftly cut off by his dad, “I do not care about the shop only the legacy of the Landau family name with the Silvermane Guard not this scrap junk crap.” He turns to Gepard, “I still can’t believe you went to an ugly random who has no social status. Why would you settle for a random servant girl who can give you nothing? I am so repulsed by her looks and what she does, how can you even be happy?”
You lower your head and let out a watery and broken, “Sorry, I-“. Gepard then slams his hands on the table and stands up. He first turns to you, “You have nothing to apologize for.” He then turns to his parents, “I have had enough of you two trying to dictate my life with the ‘Legacy of the Landau name’. No matter who I am with the name will be passed down, but I am doing all of this based on how I want to. This beautiful, talented, funny, caring, and intelligent girl is who I want to be with. Nothing will stop me from being with her. I am so happy with her. She is like the sun and lightens up my life just by being there. I don’t care about status or anything of that nature, all I care about is her and my future with her. If you two cannot respect that, then I will never speak to the two of you again.” 
Gepard takes a deep breath after his speech then looks at you and gives you a light smile, “Let’s go home, yeah?” You nod and he reaches a hand out to help you up. He leads you to the door of the dining room then his mom speaks up, “You are going to regret this.” Gepard turns to look at her with a murderous look, “I will regret nothing. Never contact me again.” He then leads you out of the house and makes a straight-line for his apartment. 
Once you two get into his apartment he locks the door then sweeps you up into his arms. He leads you to his bed then lays you gently down on the bed then hovers over you. “I am sorry they talked to you like that and that I didn’t stop them sooner sweetheart.” He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against yours. You run your hands through his hair again and respond, “It is not your fault. You warned me and I didn’t listen. But it makes me really happy you stood up for me. I love you so much Gepard.” You tilt your head to connect your lips for a slow and deep kiss. Gepard pulls away from the kiss first and opens his eyes again, “I love you more, you’re my everything.” 
Kazuha
You have never been to Liyue and Kazuha is super excited to show you around. He told you all about the many different places he wanted to take you and show you many different things. His excitement is bleeding off of him and it’s only making you more and more excited. As soon as you two are off the Alcor you two are off. 
The first place Kazuha was the Guili Plains. He knows that you are a big history nerd and seeing where the Guili Assembly would definitely be something that you would love to see. As you guys walk there he points out different parts and explains where he is going to take you later after you go to Guili Plains and then Wangshu Inn to spend the night. You are thankful to all the archons for them letting you be Kazuha’s girlfriend. You feel truly like a princess, he is the definition of a perfect boyfriend. 
As you two get to the remains of the Guili Assembly you run ahead out of excitement. You turn to see Kazuha still walking, “Kazuha, hurry!!!” Kazuha chuckles and says, “There is no rush love. We have all the time in the world, so take your time.” You still rush ahead to look at everything. Kazuha pulls out his camera to snap some photos of you and the ruins. As he is snapping photos he feels an unease come over him, he looks around and sees you smiling looking at the ancient writing. He proceeds to look around and hear some people talking, he turns to the left and sees a group of treasure hoarders heading toward you two. Kazuha realizes that you are so focused on the ruins you don’t even see the treasure hoarders coming to you. 
You are reading some of the tablets trying to decipher what they say. You then overhear a group of men talking, “There’s gotta be a lot stuff we can steal from here.” Then another person speaks up, “Yeah then we can sell it and make a fortune.” You turn around to face them and respond to them, “Hey! Don’t take anything from here. All the relics here are important to Liyue and its history, it is disrespectful to take the relics and then try to sell it.” 
The treasure hoarders turn to face you, “We don’t care. Now get out of our way before we make you.” 
You shake your head and tell them, “No. I won’t let you take relics from here.” The treasure hoarders chuckle and start walking over to you pulling out some weapons. You stand your ground but you are scared because you have no fighting background. Before they can get too close Kazuha is in front of you, “I suggest you all leave now.” 
“Aw man, you too? Well guess we just have to beat both of you before we can take the stuff.” Says the biggest treasure hoarder carrying a shovel. You think he is the leader of this little squad. 
You grab onto the back of Kazuha’s shirt, “Kazuha, what do we do?” 
Kazuha turns his head to look at you, “You are doing nothing. Just stay behind me, okay love?” You nod letting go of his shirt and stepping back so he has room to fight. You stand a good distance back so you won’t be caught in the crossfire and have Kazuha not focus. The men run up to Kazuha but he is quick to draw his sword and fly around the area using his anemo vision. He is quick to disarm the treasure hoarders that have weapons and knock the ones that do not have weapons. 
The treasure hoarder that had the shovel called out, “Where are those damn reinforcements?!” One of the men points to somewhere behind you calling out to the leader. You turn to see where the man is pointing to and you see more treasure hoarders running over. The leader calls out to them, “Grab the girl and get out of here!” That causes you to freeze in your spot not knowing what to do. 
Kazuha knocks out the guy he was dealing with and goes to deal with the second group. But before he can get to you he is pulled back by his shirt and thrown into one of the cement walls. Kazuha groans at the sudden impact but look up to see the leader walking to him and the other group getting close to you. The leader speaks up, “She’s ours now. We will take good care of her.” He says that with a sickening smile and Kazuha stomach drops at the thought. Kazuha jumps up onto his feet and runs to the leader. He draws his sword quick and uses the handle to knock the guy out. Kazuha is panting a little bit but says, “I will not let anyone hurt her.”
The group of guys are getting closer to you and you have no idea where to run. No matter which direction you run to someone will be able to catch up to you. Just as they are about to get closer you feel someone grab onto you and whisper in your ear, “Hold on tight my love.” You turn to bury yourself into your boyfriend. Once he feels you have a tight grip on him he jumps up tightening his grip on you to make sure you don’t fall. Kazuha gets you a safe distance away from the group charging at you and the group that he had knocked out. He lets you go and winks, “I’ll be right back.” 
Kazuha makes even quicker work of this group, they all are knocked out before you can even blink. Kazuha goes to walk back to you but here’s someone call out “Hey!” You both turn to face the direction that you heard the calling coming from and see a couple of Milielith running towards you. They stop by Kazuha and ask him what happened after explaining that they were following this group for a while. Kazuha explains the situation while you walk up to the group. The Millielith thank him and say they have it from here. Kazuha smiles then turns to face you, “Are you okay?”
You jump into his arms, “I’m okay.” You then take a minute to think and remember he was thrown into a wall. You pull back a little bit and ask, “ARE YOU OKAY?!? THEY THREW YOU INTO A WALL!! NO PAIN, BLEEDING OR BROKEN BONES RIGHT?!?!” Kazuha laughs and brushes some hair out of your face and presses a quick kiss to your lips. He pulls back and responds with, “I am okay. No pain, no bleeding, and no broken bones. I promise. I am glad you’re okay though. Let’s head to Wangshu Inn and go rest okay? Maybe we can come back here and try to look at it all again before we go back the Alcor.” 
You nod and go to reach for his hand. Kazuha interlocks your hands and raises yours to press a kiss on the back of your knuckle, “Then we are off.” 
Kinich
After enough begging from you, Kinich finally decided to give you a tour of the Scions of the Canopy. Seeing as you were from the Masters of the Night Wind, you wanted to see what life was like for him in the Canopy and how it differed from the Night Wind. You begged him for what felt like years and you were very happy to see him agree to give you a tour. 
You guys met up on the path right outside of the Canopy and to say you were excited was an understatement. You can finally see what daily life is like for Kinich and how different it is from the Masters of the Night Wind. Ajaw though was less than thrilled to have to spend the day with you two “blundering lovesick fools” as he always called you two, and he was not afraid to vocalize his dislike for this little outing.
As you guys started walking into the Canopy, Ajaw decided to vocalize his feelings. “You absolute buffoons! How dare you make the Almighty Dragonlord K’uhul Ajaw suffer through something as meaningless as a measly tour of this godforsaken tribe! You two blundering lovesick fools! I will not stand for this any long-“. Ajaw was very generously cut off by Kinich backhanding him into the sky.
You stopped and giggled before facing Kinich, “Thank you Kinich, I don’t know how much longer I could’ve dealt with that. I really don’t know how you deal with him all the time, he’s such a handful.” Kinich looks at you before slightly tilting his head to the side, “It was no problem. I’ve just learned how to shut him up, he’s not that much to handle. Anyway, let’s go and get this tour done before dinner.”
You nodded enthusiastically and took his hand gently as you guys started to walk again. When you enter the Canopy and look at the scenery for the first time from the bridges of the Canopy, you stopped in place because it was so pretty. You let go of his hand and step closer to the edge of the bridge. 
“Kinich! This is such a pretty view! And you get to see this everyday? I’m so jealous, the views from the Masters of the Night Wind are nowhere near as pretty as this.”
Kinich stopped as well and tilted his head slightly. “I guess the view is nice, I’ve never really thought about it. But be careful to not fall from there, your saurian companion may be able to fly a little, but you can’t.” He gently grabs your hand and pulls you closer to him. 
You blush a little at his actions and give him a little salute. “Yes sir! I will make sure to not go near ledges. But even if I do, you’ll always catch me right?” He lightly sighs and gently kisses your forehead. “Always.”
You smile softly before turning your attention back to the tour. “Okay let’s continue this tour, I can’t wait to see how pretty the rest of this place is!” Kinich softly smiles and nods his head. “Let’s go then.”
As time goes on you two are walking through the Canopy with Kinich pointing out different spots that are important to the tribe as well as his personal favorite spots. As you two are getting closer to the end of the tour, you saw another view you like a lot and you go to run across the bridge to get a better look. 
“Hey Kinich look how pretty this view is! It’s even prettier with the sun setting too! I wish I was born here, it seems so much more-“ You are abruptly cut off by the bridge snapping and you feel yourself falling and you let out a scream. Kinich’s eyes widen in alarm before he springs into action. 
He swings down toward your falling figure with his grappling hook and just as you are about to hit the ground his hand grabs you by the waist and pulls you to his chest. He quickly grapples to a safe spot and once you two are on the ground Kinich hugs you tightly. 
You have to catch your breath before you say anything, so you bury your face in his chest in the meantime. Once you regain your breath you tilt your head up towards him and softly thank him. “Thank you so much for catching me Kinich, I’m sorry I wasn’t careful like you said to be.”
He looks down at you and gently pushes your face back into his chest. “You have nothing to apologize for my dear. I should’ve noticed the bridge was not safe. But no matter, I’m glad I caught you.” He sighs softly before whispering, “I don’t think I could handle seeing anyone else fall to their death.” 
Your eyes widen at his reference to his childhood and you snap your neck up at him, “Kinich I will promise you this, I will never ever leave you, especially in that way. I will always be here and you’ll always be here to catch me if I fail. I love you Kinich.” He sighs once more and tilts your chin up and softly kisses your lips.
“And I love you my dear.”
Zhongli
You stand in front of the mirror with your hanfu on. It is a brown base color with gold and white highlights, you got it to match with Zhongli’s outfit. Zhongli was invited to a banquet by one of the historians that love to hear his stories. The historian told Zhongli to bring anyone he would like so as soon as he got home he invited you to the banquet. You take a good look at yourself in the mirror and look over yourself one last time. The hanfu looks great on you, you are really happy with the job the seamstress made. You then check your makeup to make sure nothing is smudged or looks off.
You hear footprints coming from behind you and then feel two hands on your waist. You turn in Zhongli’s hold to face him, you then take in his appearance. He Is wearing his normal attire but he still looks incredibly handsome and you make your thoughts known, “You’re very handsome.” Zhongli chuckles and tips your chin up to look him in the eyes, “Thank you darling, but I am not wearing anything different. You on the other hand look absolutely breathtaking, I can hardly keep my eyes off of you.” 
You smile big at his compliment, “Thank you baby, I was just thinking about how great the seamstress did! By the way, what is the banquet suppose to be like?”
Zhongli lets go of your waist but goes to grab your hand to lead you out of his house. As you two are walking to the banquet he answers your question, “Well the gentleman that invited me said it is going to be filled with a bunch of scholars and historians. I was confused why he invited me since I just find enjoyment in history and don’t do it for a profession, but he insisted there were a lot of people that wanted to meet me. It seems that you and I will be meeting a lot of new people tonight. I hope that this night will not be boring for you.”
You squeeze his hand to get his attention, once he looks at you, you speak up, “I am never bored when you are around. Seeing you talk to people about your knowledge of history is really heartwarming to see, and I would do anything to see it.” Zhongli smiles and looks ahead, “You really are a gem.” You blush at his compliment and squeeze his hand three times to indicate you silently saying ‘I love you’. He squeezes your hand three times back sharing the sentiment. 
It takes you two another 10 minutes to reach the venue where the banquet was being held. You two wait a little bit in line making small talk while waiting to get to security. Once you get to security Zhongli says his name and yours, once the security guard finds your names on the paper in his hands he steps inside saying “Enjoy your night.” Zhongli thanks him for the both of you and leads you to the main area. As soon as you two are in the big ballroom you see a lot of people already start making their way to you. 
Many people greet Zhongli and start to ask him questions before he can even introduce the two of you. They are asking him his opinion on certain battles that happened, relics that were left behind, or his theories about the adeptus. Since there is so much commotion by you two your hands slip out from one another. Well there goes your boyfriend in the sea of hungry historians and scholars. You knew he was going to be popular but you didn’t expect them to barely enter the room before jumping him for answers. 
You stand to the side but still close enough you can see and hear Zhongli. You then hear a feminine voice that calls out to him, “Zhongliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!” You turn to see a girl running to your boyfriend and jumping on him. You don’t recognize her but it rubs you the wrong way with how touchy she is with him. You hear Zhongli clear his throat then remove the girl off of him, “Hello Mei. What are you doing here?” 
The girl tries to touch him again but he is quick to avoid it, “Zhongli! Why are you avoiding me? Ugh never mind, but I am here because I heard you were going to be here! Let’s hang outttttt.” A worker walks around with drinks and she grabs two and then holds one out to Zhongli. Well you deduce that this girl is obsessive. Zhongli grimaces, “Oh I see, but I am here with my girlfriend and want to spend time with her.” 
You watch her clench the drinks and say, “Ohhhh you have a girlfriend, you never told me!” You then make your way to Zhongli and stand next to him. Zhongli turns to you and you see his eyes light up, that look really makes your heart race. He looks back at Mei, “Yes I have. I actually have told you multiple times.” Zhongli then introduces you to her and she gives you a nasty look, “Are you even a historian?”
You shake your head, “No, I am a baker. Besides all the history I learned in school, I mainly get my history knowledge from Zhongli.” That only makes her look get even more nasty and turns back to Zhongli and asks, “Why would you waste your time with a girl who doesn’t study history? You could date me instead.” 
You stare at this girl shocked she would even say something like that. You turn to look at Zhongli and see him seething, his jaw locked and eyes narrowed at her. Before either of you respond she walks over to you and says, “I might have a way to fix you.” She then takes the drinks that are in her hands and pours both drinks on you. Your hair ends up becoming wet and gets all over your hanfu. You stand there frozen almost in tears before you can start crying Zhongli is in front of you taking off his jacket and wrapping it around you. 
He connects your foreheads and stares deep into your eyes, “Keep your eyes on me, okay darling?” You nod not trusting your voice but a couple tears do manage to slip down your face. Zhongli is quick to wipe them, “Darling, you are the most breathtaking person I have ever seen. Don’t listen to what a random person says, their feelings do not dictate mine. I only want you as my girlfriend and I already have our future planned out. I do not care that you are a baker over a historian. You have so much passion in your job and I love tasting everything you make. Teaching you history is a thing I cherish and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You are mine and I am yours.” 
You smile big at his confession and throw yourself at him. Zhongli effortlessly catches you and hold you tight to him. You then whisper in his ear, “Thank you. I love you so much.” Zhongli then pulls back and places one hand on the back of your head pulling you into a slow and passionate kiss. After you two separate he whispers back, “I love you so much.” 
Zhongli’s expression then hardened and turned back to look at Mei, “Say anything bad about her again and you’ll regret it. I never want to see you again.” Mei nods her head and walks away. Zhongli then turns back to you and smiles, “Let’s go home and have some ice cream. I will take your hanfu to the seamstress tomorrow to see if she can fix it.” He holds his hand out to you once again and you are quick to grab it. He leads you out to the venue back to his home to spend the rest of the night in peace. 
The next day Zhongli came back to you with a fixed hanfu and a couple new ones. 
179 notes · View notes
satinroses · 14 hours ago
Text
Night Time Routines
How the harbingers and their darlings ready for bed
Yan! Harbingers x reader (separate)
Feat: Capitano, Dottore, Pantalone and Scaramouche
Word Count: 3.4K
A/N: “honk shoooo honk shoooo” - capitano, “zzzzz zzzz” - Pantalone, “honk mi mi mi” - Scaramouche, dottore’s doesn’t snore but he does speak in fluent sentences in his sleep and it’s terrifying. thank you for coming to my ted talk. also yes i made scaras pretty purple eyes light up like ei’s when she’s using her skill, the more raiden parallels the better in my opinion
Warnings: 5.3 archon quest spoilers, Yandere behaviours, i have likely not proof read this as well as i should have so i apologise for any mistakes, dark themes, some mentions of NSFW themes but no actual smut, being robbed of making choices, they all have serious control issues
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Capitano:
Capitano has struggled with sleep for centuries now, he hopes you take no offence when he doesn’t join you at night however he would never wish to make you feel neglected. The primary reason he stole you away was to could ensure that you are treated with the dignity and adoration that befits someone of your character.
If your hair is long enough then he takes great care in braiding it every night. You’re surprised that a man of his stature is able to manoeuvre his fingers so nimbly through your hair. If braids aren’t your style or they simply wouldn’t work with your hair then he patiently awaits your instruction. Whether you want a bun, a ponytail or simply for your hair to flow freely he will diligently do as you command.
Although some aspects of your night routine may resemble that of Pantalone’s darling, Capitano doesn’t force you to abide by any particular routines. As long as you get enough rest he doesn’t mind if you spend every evening huddled in the library, just please allow him to sit with you as you read, nothing would bring him greater pleasure.
Despite the first harbinger being unable to sleep due to the constant burden of the tormented souls upon him, he does find comfort in the domesticity partaking in your nightly routines affords him. Watching your eyes flutter shut, hearing the words that slip out of your mouth leaving him to guess what you could possibly be dreaming about, watching over you when you are at your most defenceless.
He finds it utterly endearing to see you in this state. His heart feels much lighter the first night you fall asleep in his presence. He understands you may hold some resentment towards him for stealing you away from your home and the life you knew yet he is able to find hope in the vulnerability your behaviour shows. Being in your most docile and helpless form around him must surely mean you hold some form of trust for him. Trust is something he can work with, he’s certain now that he can cultivate this small piece of trust that you’ve extended to him from a sapling into a flourishing bloom and in time, perhaps you’ll forgive him for the selfish decision he made. He was utterly mindless and inconsiderate when he took you with him, against your will. Every day he lives with the shame of stealing you and yet... watching over you as you lay in his sheets, he cannot bring himself to regret it.
He shuts his eyes and listens to the rhythm of your breaths, a symphony that brings him nothing but relief. The knowledge that you were resting peacefully by his side invigorates him far more than slumber ever could.
After some time passes and he truly believes you are warming up to him in spite of everything, he might slip into your bed (with your permission of course). He’s unsure what to do at first, so overwhelmed with your closeness and warmth but as you begin to drift into a dreamscape, he allows his hands to wander slightly (but never anywhere inappropriate, despite how desperately he might crave your body he would never force you to do anything that might dishonour you). The body heat that emanates from you brings him immeasurable comfort as he forgets about the pain of the abyssal rot ravaging his body, instead focusing on the softness of your skin on his.
To feel you against him, your body tucked against his, it brings comfort that settles deep in his bones, not even the heavenly principles nor the curse that eats away at his flesh could strip it from him. For the first time in 500 years he remembers what its like to have a home.
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Dottore:
You have the misfortune of having spent more time alone with Dottore than anyone else in Teyvat. In spite of his near constant presence, you had never once see him or any of his clones go to sleep. Once every few months you’ll catch him with his eyes shut and hunched over his desk, you assume he has finally drifted off but then mere seconds later his eyes will shoot open and his hands resume tinkering with whatever (or whoever) has had the misfortune of piquing his interest.
Prior to eliminating his clones he often used them as lab assistants, citing that the only person who he could trust to fulfil his work to the measure of perfection he demanded was himself. As the sun began to set whichever of his clones had the least to do would be charged with escorting you from his laboratory in the cellars of Zapolyarny palace to your shared estate. Much to Dottore’s annoyance, he swears that as the moon begins to rise, the segments begins to rush to finish their tasks in hopes of being the one to escort you home.
From early morning to night time you are forced to remain wherever Dottore is however he understands you are only human (for the time being, however he has plans to change that) and you require rest so he allows you to go home and sleep with the caveat that a segment remains by your side as he repeats a similar sentiment as he did earlier, that being the only man he would ever trust with your safety is himself.
Upon prime having to destroy the clones he is visibly on edge despite his dismissals when you try to enquire about it. It’s evident to you that without having the security of his segments watching over you he is tense. He now forbids you from going home, even with a platoon of Fatui guarding you, he has made far too many enemies to count over the years, he isn’t foolish enough to entrust your safety to some lackeys that even the eleventh could carve through with ease.
Much to your dismay he also states that he cannot take so much time away from his experiments to tend to your slumber and that from now on you will be sleeping in the laboratory.
It doesn’t take much exertion for his brilliant mind for him to deduce that you are not thrilled at this development.
After a few days of complaining he finally cracks. You seem to find a fault with every aspect of his laboratory.
”I’m uncomfortable”
”My back hurts”
”It’s too loud”
”It’s too bright”
”It’s too hot”
“It’s too cold”
”This pillow is lumpy”
”I can feel you staring at me”
It drives him mad. His next experiment will be on your voice, he has to test his hypothesis that there is something particular about your voice, perhaps it’s the tone or the pitch but whenever you speak he can’t help but grant you his full attention.
He prides himself on his resilience but for you he has always been quick to crack. Seeing you in such a bad mood puts him in a bad mood. Suddenly his patience has been shortened exponentially, the screams of his patients grind on his nerves far too quickly, leading to many experiments being cut short.
The following morning you will see two anemo skirmishers setting down a large object covered in a dust sheet in the far corner of the laboratory. You raise your question to Dottore, asking what it is. Only then does he set down his tools, a tiny smirk blooms across his face as he takes your hand in his and leads you across the room before lifting the sheet off the object and looking at you expectantly.
It was a single bed with plain white sheets and a single pillow. It was hardly exuberant but for Dottore to even show any form of regard for the discomfort of any living being was nothing short of a miracle.
If you ask him what prompted this his voice will grow venomous as he bites out that your endless complaints were a hindrance to his experiments but you see the self-satisfied sneer on his face as he soaks in your gratitude.
Admittedly you do still have to endure the screams of those unfortunate enough to end up strapped to the operating table as he refuses to allow you any form of noise cancellation lest he needs you for something (he never has but you’re sure he just doesn’t want to give you any avenues for ignoring him), at least you can keep your head staunchly under your pillow for whatever small form of muting the cries that it's able to provide.
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Pantalone:
In spite of your resentment for Pantalone you could not deny the morbid interest you had in watching him go about his day. As an outsider you couldn’t shrug the pervasive feeling that had settled in your mind that his whole day seemed to be more of an elaborate routine rather than a man naturally progressing through the day.
Every paper, painting and plate had a specific place in his life and that was how Pantalone preferred it. One night at dinner you had made note of it and he had let out a rare chuckle as he gazed at you from across the grand mahogany dinner table. He put down his utensils before taking a moment to stare down at his hands, twisting the rings back into place so that the gemstones on them rested perfectly on his fingers, glimmering just right in the light before he acknowledged that perhaps some people might agree that he can be a little particular.
From the moment he had taken you into his home, he made sure that you too fit into his routine as flawlessly as everything else. He had expectations that you would meet if you knew what was good for you. Throughout the day his routine never once relaxed and as such, neither did yours. From the moment dinner ends he has you on a schedule that he had devoted hours to ensure it would allow you to fit into his schedule as perfectly as he wants you to. Like a ballerina wound up in a jewellery box, you would pirouette seamlessly to whichever melody he desired and you only move when he winds your cogs, never before.
Once you rise from the dinner table and he returns to his study, you are taken directly to your shared chambers with Pantalone by your ladies maids. In the porcelain tub within the en-suite sits a pool of hot water, still steaming with heat. Standing there awkwardly with only a silk robe wrapped around you as maids flutter in and out of the room. You stay rocking on the balls of your feet until at last the head maid returns, with her she carries a silver tray upon which rests several different bottles of fragrant oils and soaps to add to your bath.
Perhaps if you had been a little less perceptive you would believe this to be one of the areas in your life in which he allows some leniency but that is not the case. You are certain beyond all measure that each and every scent has gotten his approval before being presented to you. Maybe you should be thankful for this small illusion of choice but it only makes the reality of you situation sting in your tear ducts.
As you smell each one the head maid takes great enthusiasm in telling you the elaborate backstory for each and every bottle. Although its her voice speaking, you can hear his words.
The violet grass scent that had been acquired from the very highest point of Liyue’s immense mountain scape lending to it’s powdery floral notes being far more potent that before.
The sakura bloom oil had been extracted from a handful of petals that had been struck by the Shogun’s own divine lightning lending to it’s typical sweet smell having a bright undertone. You couldn’t stand that oil, you swore every time you applied it, it tingled.
The glaze Lilly that this oil had been diffused from had allegedly only bloomed when an adeptus descended from her abode in Jueyun Karst to serenade the flower and coaxing it into opening its petals. Supposedly its scent was so delicate and intoxicating that everyone who smelt it wept tears of joy. You didn’t think it smelt much different than any other glaze Lilly.
After a dozen more being presented to you, each with its own elaborate origins you simply grabbed the bottle closest to you on the tray, not caring which. They all smelt far too similar to care.
Since the day you were taken he had insisted that there was no price too high for his beloved. Perhaps he thinks you find his gifts romantic, instead you can’t help but laugh bitterly at the irony of your bathing products being better travelled than you are.
After nearly an hour of several maids scrubbing you from head to toe (when you had originally arrived you had refused their help however once Pantalone caught wind of this he had punished the maids for it. You had pleaded with him that it was your own fault for refusing their help and to please not punish them for your actions. He smiled gently, thanking you for your honesty before pressing a gently kiss to your forehead yet he said nothing about pardoning the maids, dismissing you at every mention of it. You had an entirely different group of maids tending to you the following morning and every subsequent morning after that).
After leaving the bath and drying off, you were dressed in a night gown. They were undoubtedly the worst part of the night, although they were beautiful they were also covered in itchy lace with necklines too deep and hems too short for the Snezhnayan winter.
After being dressed you would sit down at your vanity and methodically brush your hair with the gifts he had gotten you from Mondstadt: a boar bristle brush with a silver handle (he claimed the bristles were from a mighty bore sovereign native to Dragonspine) and a Dragon bone comb (he also had this made in Dragonspine, the bone acquired from the skeleton of Durin, the comb was a sturdy bone that no matter what always stayed warm).
Finally you would lie in bed and wait for your husband. If he decides to join you then you can slip gently into your dreams, the one place where you can forget about the heavy arm latched around your waist and the fingers tangled in your hair. On more unfortunate nights, he would not join you in your shared chambers, instead he would expect you to come to him. Shuffling sleepily through dark corridors until you finally reached the tall doors of his study. Your knuckle barely grazes the wood before the door swings open and he offers you a gentle smile before wrapping his arm around your waist and coaxing you in.
If you were lucky a few well-placed tender kisses to his neck would persuade him to abandon his work and join you in bed however some nights he would have you sat on his lap until the sun rose. Those nights you rarely slept well as you had to deal with his mutterings, the candle light illuminating the room and the way he adjusted you on his lap. If you were lucky you could shut your eyes and feign sleep when you felt something hard growing beneath you, other nights he was insistent on your participation.
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Scaramouche:
Throughout the countless waking hours you’ve spent in unwilling solitude with the sixth harbinger you were hardly surprised at the revelation that his sour attitude persists far past the sunset and well into the moonlit hours. If anything his annoyance only grew the closer you crept to retiring for the night.
Having no knowledge of his marionette body’s ability to endure without sleep, you couldn’t disguise your discomfort the first night you shared his bed and his lilac eyes stayed glued to you all night, their vibrant hue glowing in the dark of your chambers. You could see the dim purple light in the room, even through your eyelids. His illuminated eyes wouldn’t move from your face as you rested. It doesn’t matter how often you late in the night you might wake up or how often you squint through your half-closed eyes at him, Scaramouche’s gaze stays fixed intently on you from the moment you pull the blankets over your shoulders.
Should you somehow develop a fondness for your captor you will quickly learn that in spite of his feelings for you, he is not an attentive or affectionate man. Scaramouche scoffs at the proposal of ‘cuddling’. He spits out that he will not entertain such pathetic displays of fondness, not even for you. The firm tenor in his voice makes you believe that there is no room for negotiation on the matter, however from that night onwards, his hand remains fixed tightly around your wrist the moment you retire under the covers with him.
One particularly irritating trait about Scaramouche is his insistence that you never turn away from him, many times your awoken by a set of firm hands clamped down on your shoulders as they turn you around in the bed, back to facing him. While you are both waking and sleeping he refuses to allow you to turn your back to him, you’re unsure as to why and frankly you’re not certain you wish to know. There are aspects of your captor's past that you're undoubtedly influence his current actions yet you do not wish to learn such things, not yet.
On exceptionally rare occasions, oftentimes after an intimate night of gently unwinding with him, removing his clothing with all the attentiveness he has expected to be synonymous with being the wife of the sixth harbinger. Brush your lips gently over his skin with a tenderness in your touch he hasn’t felt since… he can’t recall. After several hours in each others passionate embrace, Scaramouche may fall into a restless slumber. You may initially find this rare period of sleep from him to be enjoyable however it opens the gateway to a version of Scaramouche you may find yourself unfamiliar with.
The first night Scaramouche falls asleep in your presence, you soon understand his disdain for sleep. The whimpers and cries that escape the balladeer are completely uncharacteristic for him. You had never heard his voice assume any tone beyond a haughty drawl or an intimidating bark, you almost didn’t recognise it was Scaramouche speaking until a familiar word escaped his throat.
”Y/N...”
It was undoubtedly the balladeer speaking however his voice had been fragile and light as he spoke your name, as though saying it too harshly would cause it to shatter.
”Y/N… come back, please…”
“please...” he had whispered out and the word sounded almost foreign on his tongue. Until now you had assumed the word didn’t even exist in the harbingers vocabulary. His sleep only seemed to worsen. You sat up, unsure whether you should wake him or not. His gentle murmurs were slowly growing louder and more desperate. You watched as his sleeping form writhed across the bed, his arms fully extended as his fingers clenched and unclenched, grasping and pawing at the bedsheets.
You slowly nudged yourself closer to him, preparing to wake him from whatever nightmares was plaguing him until his hand brushed against your night clothes. Suddenly his fist clenched tightly around your waist as he yanked your body impossibly closer, curling around you.
The following morning he untangled his limbs from yours before quickly scurrying out of the room. His gaze never met yours but from the chaste kiss and the way his eyes refused to look up from the ground… you swore he almost seemed embarrassed, his demeanour suiting that of a pouting child rather than an agent of destruction.
As you opened the bedroom doors not long after his departure, the stench of sizzled flesh wafted through the corridors. Some poor Fatuus were now paying the price in blood for Scaramouche’s humiliation as they were demoted from subordinates to the punching bags for him to unleash his rage on. The part of himself that he had buried so deeply, shrouded in layer and layer of bitterness and rage, had exposed itself to your discerning gaze and his mortification was suffocating him.
If he were a weaker man perhaps the humiliation would have brought tears to his eyes but he was stronger than the mewling little wretch he used to be. Like forging a sword, he had beaten the impurities out one by one in the heat of his own hatred and the boiling of his blood until only the perfect blade remained. cold. lethal. merciless. He is no quivering weakling that can simply be thrown away. Not anymore. Never again. In spite of his pathetic display last night he would make certain you and everyone else remembers it.
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midnite-c6 · 2 days ago
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Watching the daily dose of sunshine makes me think of a au, where nam-gyu goes to rehab and his main doctor is timid!reader, like he’s always teasing you for being so shy and everything!!
I LOVE YOU. SO SO MUCH. sorry guys i gotta confess, i know doctor x patient is weird esp if its IN a mental hospital, but if i was kim seowan's doctor in ddos i would've FOLDED so fast (sorry).
patient!nam-gyu x doctor!reader <3 warnings: 18+, DARK content, dubcon, manipulation (please read at your own risk!!)(kind of a ddos au!!)
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*⁠.⁠✧ : he SCARED you so much during the games, how he was killing people left and right (esp during lights out), how he was practically one of the strongest people there. he made you feel incredibly small, he'd constantly mock you, constantly humiliate and embarrass you because you were just. so. quiet! luckily for you, and for him i guess, player 456 successfully stopped the games half-way thru leaving some of the players to stay alive.
for some reason, to everyone's surprise, he'd try to change for the better. as soon as he got that 400 million something won distributed among all the other players, he'd go to some nice rehab center, he was traumatized, definitely. he'd wait patiently for his doctor to prescribe him some shit since he was definitely on the brink of overdosing himself during the games, but when he looks up to see your face, he flinches, and every self-development in his body crumbles as he grinned widely.
"you?" you gasp, your heart dropped from seeing him again. it was like you were the one who needed therapy right this moment. "what are you d- ahem, good afternoon, sir." you'd carefully sit down on the other side of the desk. "it's really a small world." he plops his arms on the table, resting his head in his arm as he gives you the snarkiest smile. "so? you're a doctor..? you sighed, trying to ignore him, ".. it says here in your file that-" "shhhh." he shushed, placing his finger atop your lips. you are now thankful for the desk between the two of you since he's already uncomfortably close to you now. "miss, are you capable of making me feel better?" he'd ask in a voice and expression you'd truly feel bad for, if it just was anybody else doing it. "..you barely did anything during the games, how could you save me?" he tilts his head. you'd only do what you were most familiar of doing, avoiding his gaze and looking down, you weren't like this with any other patients who'd come to you, but nam-gyu truly traumatized your very being.
"tsk." he'd grab your chin to look up at him. "look me in the eye, doctors should be social. right, miss?" your heart would beat faster, his tone sounding just like the ones he'd use during your first encounter. he'd give you that same look of terror, as if trying to make you fear him, which infact works, and you'd sit there staring at him with a big frown! he only laughs after a couple of seconds, "jeez, looks like you need a doctor for your own." his laugh had broken you from that distracted trance, you were a doctor for christ's sake!! "sir, you've confessed into taking alot of substances during the past month, leading to a potential overdose, i'd advise you to stay here to sober up." you say straightforwardly before he could respond anything else. he'd tuck his long black hair in behind his ears and hum, "that was so fucking cute. you being professional and all that.."
---
he did stay, as it was advised by the one and only you, you'd given him check-ups from time to time and you'd see him with the other patients, but one particular day, he'd occasionally crashout, making you keep an eye on him more frequently. he'd call for you from his bed..and as to not lose your job, you'd come in an instant. seeing him laid down, in his hospital gown,. "miss. c'mere.. please." he whined, a 180 of his own character. "yes? sir, how are you feeling..?" he'd reach out to cup your face, looking into your eyes. "i just can't seem to forget... i've watched so many deaths, right infront of my eyes.. " you nod, listening intently, for a brief second you'd feel your utmost sympathy towards him. "and i was gonna get something like ketamine to forget about it again." - he'd cut you off before you could scold him: "..but, i know i'm here to become sober, so.. i wanna know.. what else are you good for, miss?" like a muscle memory, you know what to answer, "obviously-" but he'd cut you off AGAIN. "..and i don't want those stupid medicine shit." he'd pull you in closer to him, where you could feel his breath tickling your face. "c'mon, you were there too, don't you want to forget, aswell ..?" he'd place a soft peck on your lips, letting it linger before lightly biting your lower lip. why didn't you pull away? that's really the big question. why didn't you? you wanted to.. but.. you know very well about his crashouts.. or how he'd act out.. but in these moments you'd find out you're the worst doctor ever.
nsfw below!!-> (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡
he'd use up all his remaining strength to pull you ontop of him, letting out a low groan of relief. he'd now keep a tight grip on your hips, knowing that you'd probably gain some consciousness right about now.. but you don't.. you're stupid. you're a fool to his tactics. "oh wow..." his hands would slowly explore your body, with light feather touches. and you'd only stare at him in shock, wondering why you've let him break that patient and doctor relationship dynamic, "fuck. you're even cuter like this." he'd press your body against his, nothing was covering him underneath that hospital gown, so you could already very much feel his everything. to his surprise, he'd see your face contort from the pleasure, whatever's happening right now is just as fucked up as him. "hmm, you like that?" he'd moan out loud, "it's working on me," he'd tore apart your silly pencil skirt, why were you wearing that as a doctor, anyway? his thumb pressing down on your clothed clit. he'd push your panties to the side, making your juices drip on his hospital gown. "let me feel you for real, miss."
it didn't take long, he was so whiny about it too! you could see him biting his lower lip as you fully take in his dick. "miss.. god, i need you." you swear you were gaining control over him, hearing him whimper so submissively, but he knows that wasn't the case, his little whines were so deceiving. you're grinding on your patient's dick right now, but every request of a patient must be returned! and this was his request.. "haah. such a good girl." he'd hold you down against him, "you'd do anything to save your patients won't you? what a hero." feeling your cunt throb for that was crazy, he thought you were crazy.
both of your pleasure-filled moans were echoing inside the room, you'd thank god not one of his nurses would come in here. at such an unfortunate time. his breathy moans were driving you crazy! "fuck.!" he'd finally get to coat your insides with his nut, how he'd make you roll your hips faster to chase out his high, you were much more sensitive than him anyway. "i think.. you've cured me.." he looks right into your eyes so calmly, not matching your exhausted moans. "bet whoever's watching those cctv cameras is jerking it right now." he snickers, making you look up at the camera, oh shit. you'd forgotten some patients need to be watched 24/7. "your moans were so cute, afterall, miss."
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guys i NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM URHGNS one of my fav imagines everrr i love jaewon sm i love SEOWAN sm and ik he was depressed in that kdrama but i genuinely would let him do anything to me bye. . . 😭 hes so whiny here. i might post part 3 of that one thanos fic, nam-gyu included !! (spoils). someone request myunggi guys!!🥺
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zenruu · 1 day ago
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A Needlessly Thorough Analysis of What Hardening Actually Means for Alistair
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You can also read this analysis in a Google Doc if you find that format more palatable: here.
(I do recommend desktop for the comfiest viewing in either case, but both should be serviceable.)
Disclaimer: If critical discussion of a character’s feelings, motivations, and reactions to certain in-game choices could be personally upsetting to you, maybe don’t read this. None of this analysis is me judging you/your choices as a player, I am simply looking through the lens of Alistair’s characterization and the in-universe consequences of choices. Of course this analysis will be colored by my own bias, it’s inevitable. I can’t realistically include every potentially relevant line of dialogue, but I’m always happy to discuss if you think there’s something crucial I left out.
Hardened Alistair is often described as learning to stand up for himself and becoming more assertive, but why? Is it an accurate assessment? Even Alistair himself reacts to the hardening dialogue by saying he’s going to start thinking for himself and looking out for himself more, so surely it’s true… right?
To the contrary, I would actually argue that hardened Alistair tends to put others before himself more than unhardened Alistair. Let’s start by looking at how he becomes hardened.
The Hardening Process
After meeting Goldanna, Alistair is understandably devastated to find that the family he’s been dreaming of his whole life is not what he had hoped. He’s just been yelled at and turned away by the sister he’s never met, the only family he’s ever had a chance of knowing. He’s lost his hope at finding that sense of connection and belonging he’s always been looking for.
If the Warden wants to harden Alistair, they need to tell him, “Everyone is out for themselves. You should learn that.”
The message being sent is basically: suck it up, move on, grow up. This is the way the world is. Stop being so idealistic.
The message Alistair seems to receive, however, is a bit more complicated. In the follow-up conversation after meeting Goldanna, Alistair tells you that his takeaway from the hardening dialogue was that he needs to look out for himself more. This is, obviously, perfectly in line with the common belief that hardened Alistair is more assertive and more willing to stand up for himself.
But is that the reality that we see reflected in hardened Alistair’s choices?
Pre-hardening, Alistair tells you many times that he feels like no one cares what he wants; he believes it’s unfair and openly complains about it. Hardened Alistair, however, knows that no one cares what he wants and he accepts that as the way things are and must be. Unhardened Alistair will freely say he doesn’t want to be king and fights against it until he can fight it no more, while hardened Alistair will accept it, even going as far as to say he wants it.
Why would he change so suddenly from saying it’s his worst nightmare to saying he wants it? Does he mean it fully? Is this truly him seeking to fulfill his own wants and meet his own needs?
What actually changes if he’s hardened?
he is seemingly less reluctant about becoming king
if romanced, he will agree to a threesome with Isabela
he will agree to make you his mistress if you push the topic
if not married to Anora and chosen to fight Loghain, he will execute Loghain and take the throne
if not chosen to fight Loghain, he will insist on being made king
if married to Anora, he will become king instead of being exiled if Loghain is spared (Alistair will still leave your party, however)
he will approve of executing Jowan in Redcliffe
With the idea of “hardened Alistair putting his own wants/needs first” in mind let’s break them down one by one:
Note: some lines of dialogue have flags for “hardened”/“changed”, alternatively referred to as Alistair’s motivation being changed from “good to glory” or “Alistair 2”. These all refer to the hardening mechanic. The screenshots do have text that’s a bit small, because I wanted to be sure that I included the flags that show when lines are exclusive to hardened Alistair.
Less reluctance about becoming king
All along he’s said he doesn’t want it. You could potentially make a case that he didn’t truly feel that way and was only saying it because he’s insecure (which he is), but I don’t find this to be a terribly compelling argument. 
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This is hardened Alistair’s response to being told he would be a good king after he’s decided to sacrifice himself. There are several lines like this that I feel contradict the theory that unhardened Alistair only says he doesn’t want to be king because he’s insecure in his abilities. It’s not that his insecurities are not a factor, it’s that hardening him doesn’t get rid of those things, meaning that this factor alone would not change his attitude about accepting potential kingship. In fact, he still believes that realistically Anora is better suited.
I’d argue that someone who has consistently said one thing without fail and is now only changing the tune after basically being told to shut up and grow up may not be expressing their truest desires. He is going along with what Eamon is telling him, with what the Warden is telling him, with what he’s told is his duty and responsibility. For the greater good, not for himself.
And you might be saying that can’t be true, hardened Alistair says he wants to be king!
Personally, I’d argue that Alistair saying he wants to be king is much the same as your average person saying they want a job. Do most people want to go to work every day? No, not really, but you have to because it’s just what you need to do. So when asked, you’d say you want a job. Of course you would, because you have to have one. But removed from that necessity, would you still say the same? Likely not. I believe the same holds true for Alistair. If he wasn’t being told at every turn that him being king is what must be done, he wouldn’t feel a need to bow to that.
Hardened Alistair confidently wanting to be king is often accepted as plain fact, when it’s really not so cut and dry. We can dig into some of his dialogue and really look at his feelings on the matter.
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Hardened Alistair is saying he wants to be king. Even he’s surprised by it. But what is the context of this line? He’s about to sacrifice himself. He believes that his sacrifice–not living to rule–is the single best thing he can do as king.
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But is it pure happiness and willingness, or is it a man simply trying to make the best of a situation he’s locked into? I vote for the latter.
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I often see the argument that having a Warden queen would make him happier with the idea of being king, but by all evidence it really doesn’t seem to be the case. Here is his response to the Warden confirming that she does want to be queen. Alistair still doesn’t like the idea of ruling. This isn’t a line exclusive to hardened Alistair, he will always have this line available.
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“I wouldn’t be in this position if it weren’t for you” … “you owe me” … Even hardened, Alistair seems to see being king as something negative being thrust upon him. A punishment, perhaps? What would his response be to being told that being king is not a punishment?
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On the surface, he agrees, but take a look at that VO comment for his actual feelings on it. He does consider it a punishment. This is indeed a line for hardened Alistair, as it occurs during the mistress conversation, which is a hardened Alistair exclusive.
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Even if hardened, Alistair would prefer to stay a Warden if he can.
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And if you don’t make hardened Alistair king? He’s grateful. Happy. Happier.
Agreeing to a threesome
Unhardened or hardened, he will push back when you suggest this. However, only hardened Alistair will relent and agree to it. Unhardened Alistair will simply refuse. Which one sounds more like someone standing up for his own wants?
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This is the path the conversation goes if Alistair is hardened. His initial refusal and discomfort with the situation remains, but if you tell him to go along, he will.
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He is, regardless, clearly not as comfortable with the situation as one should be. It certainly isn’t the kind of enthusiastic consent one would look for when asking someone to engage in a particular sex act. But he had fun, so it’s okay, right?
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Well… did he have fun? Isabela jokes about borrowing him in the future and it seems quite clear that he isn’t interested in a repeat occurrence. Not only is he not interested, he’s awkward, uncomfortable. “Oh, but he makes a joke about wet frocks right after this!” He does. But it’s Alistair. He’s constantly making jokes to mask his discomfort.
Agreeing to making the Warden his mistress
Again, he will push back on this at first, only relenting if he’s hardened and you push the issue. If unhardened, he’ll stand by his original statement that he feels it would be wrong. Is he just saying he believes it’s wrong, or is that what he truly believes? Based on what we know of Alistair, I’d say it’s far more likely that he truly does find the idea of making the Warden his mistress to be disrespectful both to the Warden and to his wife, and that he is somewhat disregarding his own beliefs on that to bend to the Warden’s insistence that he take a mistress.
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Whether he’s marrying Anora or not, his views on the matter are the same. He intends to be loyal to whoever he marries, and he knows he cannot do so if he continues the relationship with the Warden.
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It’s clear that he finds the entire idea distasteful.
Much like the threesome, you do have to press him to get him to agree. He’s quite set in his beliefs on the matter, but he will acquiesce if the Warden pushes it.
Insisting on becoming king in the context of dealing with Loghain
These are the choices where I’d say there is potentially a case to be made that Alistair is making the decision he wants to make. However, I wouldn’t say that the decision being made is that he wants to be king. I would argue that becoming king is simply a means to an end to give him the power to get revenge in the way he wants.
In the first potential scenario here, Alistair will insist on being made king if he is not chosen to fight Loghain. Why? He wants Loghain dead, and he isn’t being given the choice to make that happen. He wants the power to make that choice, all else be damned.
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Here you can see that hardened Alistair insists on taking the throne while making it abundantly clear that the reason for doing so is to take care of Loghain in the manner he wants.
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Unhardened Alistair does the same. Why? Because the motivation remains the same whether he’s hardened or not. Unhardened Alistair simply hasn’t become so resigned as to pretend he’s any less displeased with it than he is.
In the second potential scenario, Alistair is chosen to fight Loghain and kills him. He finally achieves the goal he’s been working towards all along: getting his revenge on Loghain. He’s running on that high when Eamon immediately suggests he take the throne, he says yes, he’ll do it. There’s not really anything to break down dialogue-wise in this scenario, as his acceptance of the throne is the exact same dialogue as it would be in any other case. He simply says he accepts when it’s proposed.
Is it what he truly wants? Maybe. You could make a case for it. However, I interpret it more as running on that adrenaline high, feeling powerful and not fully thinking it over in the moment.
Accepting being king & marrying Anora if Loghain is spared
Alistair has been tunnel visioned on getting his revenge on Loghain the entire time, and this is the only circumstance in which sparing Loghain will not result in Alistair leaving and becoming a drunk. He both accepts marrying Anora (which he isn’t happy about) and sparing Loghain (which is very counter to his wishes).
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He doesn’t like Anora and doesn’t want to marry her, but he does anyway. Hardened Alistair knows that marrying Anora is politically advantageous and prioritizes that over his personal desire to enact his vengeance, though he makes it clear to the Warden that his personal feelings on the matter have absolutely not changed.
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Hardened Alistair goes along with marrying Anora after Loghain is spared and leaves the party, unhappy with the Warden’s choice to spare Loghain. If this line alone didn’t make his displeasure clear enough, there’s also this one:
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He refers to the Warden’s actions as a betrayal. He’s obviously not happy.
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Unhardened Alistair, however, stands his ground and refuses.
Approving of executing Jowan
Another case of a changed tune to go along with what the Warden is doing. Unhardened Alistair actively disapproves of the Warden executing Jowan. We could assume that hardened Alistair is just more pragmatic, or perhaps simply more willing to accept it when the Warden tells him this is what must be done.
There is no Alistair specific dialogue to look at here, just the approval points, so it’s really just a matter of looking at what we know of him and the situation. I would say in general Alistair values life and values mercy. Are there exceptions? Yes. Loghain, for example, whose crimes Alistair has judged worthy of death. Clearly unhardened Alistair does not feel that way about Jowan. Hardened Alistair though? He approves of his execution, but is it because he personally thinks it’s best or is it because he accepts the Warden’s judgment?
I would argue that it’s the latter primarily because it’s completely in line with everything else we’ve seen from hardened Alistair. There really are just no solid cases of hardened Alistair asserting his own will when compared to unhardened Alistair, so I don’t see this case as being any different.
In Review
In each case of behaviors changed by hardening Alistair, we see him putting his own wants and needs on the backburner in favor of an externally imposed sense of duty or to bend to another’s will because he accepts that his personal feelings are irrelevant. I’d go as far as to say that hardening is really a misnomer, because what we’re really looking at would be better called resignation.
I actually didn’t include every single line I found of hardened Alistair expressing the sentiments I’ve laid out in this analysis because I didn’t want it to be too long, but there is more in the game. Now I will get into less concrete analysis and a bit more of an explanation of my own personal opinions on hardening.
Aside from looking at what hardening actually means for Alistair, we can also question its necessity. Do you need to do it if you want to do certain things in Origins (threesome, mistress ending, etc.)? Yes. But I often see people argue that hardening Alistair is necessary for him to grow or mature as a person, and I completely disagree.
My personal opinion is that hardening Alistair is neither necessary nor kind.
In terms of helping Alistair to grow as a person, I maintain that Alistair will become more naturally “hardened”, or more accurately, he will mature on his own if you give him the chance to do so. Why do I say so? Look at Alistair in Inquisition. That is not the same idealistic young man we see in Origins, and this remains true regardless of hardening status. Whether it’s Warden Alistair or King Alistair, he’s clearly grown and changed.
Sure, you can mod the game to make the hardening dialogue more palatable, but that’s an entirely different discussion. As is, you’re required to essentially kick him when he’s down, and I simply do not find it to be necessary for his own personal development.
If it’s not already completely obvious by me doing all of this in the first place, I really, really love Alistair. Of course I’m quite settled and happy as an unhardened Warden Alistair truther, but I’m always happy to discuss and debate. I’m very interested in any thoughts you might have, whether you agree with my assessment or not (as long as you’re nice).
Thank you for reading my (almost sickeningly thorough) little analysis if you made it this far!
As a treat (or unhardened Warden Ali propaganda depending on your perspective), here's my Warden, miss Neria Surana with her very happy unhardened Warden husband:
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illyabata · 3 days ago
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diluc x subby f!reader
content: nsfw but not explicit/descriptive writing (lots of talk of dynamics and preferences i think diluc would have for intimacy), vanilla diluc and reader at first, ur married, dom/sub dynamics, soft dom/service top diluc, talk of kids at the end, bratty reader, hint of breeding kink at the end as well if you squint and if you want to interpret it that way. diluc is really just an upstanding gentleman i love him very much and want to marry a man like him someday
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diluc is one character i feel strongly to be a taker of zero risks with intimacy—neither would he enjoy such risks if he were to partake. to him, the act of sex is reverent, the purest display of love between him and his partner. never should that act be tainted by fear of discovery, discomfort, or shame.
diluc would want his lover to feel completely safe and secure during such vulnerable moments. i think he’s generally very “vanilla”, and that’s not a bad thing at all. he just enjoys making you feel loved in the most intimate way, and to him, that way is in the setting of a bedroom, lights dimmed, without the company of any other save for his beloved. his favorite position is missionary, of course it is—he can see you, see your face, kiss you silly, all while protecting you from the world. he’s the perfect husband for a pillow princess, truly—just lay down and let him do all the work, sweetheart. he’d be happy to indulge in anything new you suggest, but i feel that a relationship with diluc is steady, conservative, and gently paced, as he is so very much a gentleman. should you desire to explore more, he would never stop you, but his own desires tend to remain consistent. if you are content, he is content.
diluc’s honor and gentlemanly nature will always take precedence over any sexual desire he may harbor for you, however much he may feel. he is simply an honorable man. therefore i feel strongly that he cannot even will himself to think of doing anything promiscuous with you in any sort of public setting, no matter how hidden it may be, and no matter how much he may want you, or how much you want him. it’s not comfortable, and it’s not appropriate—it’s just not his jam. i think that is probably his only hard ‘no’ when it comes to things you may ask for. he will take you home swiftly if he is able, or you will both simply endure the yearning until night falls.
i think the furthest he’d stray into kinky territory is dom/sub dynamics (this is surprising to no one). really anything where he gets to be the protector, the guiding hand, the gentle touch with a firm grip—he’s the definition of a soft dom. his demeanor is too gentle, his heart too bleedy, his soul too pure, to do anything other than love you sweetly unless you should explicitly ask for something else.
for example, if you ask him to be meaner, rougher, or crueler, i honestly think he’d be quite perplexed, and it would take him some time to adjust to the idea. that’s definitely not something to spring on him in the moment. it goes against his nature, to be honest, because he could never imagine bringing harm or even risk of harm to someone he loves so much, whether that harm be physical, mental, or emotional. diluc would have to mull over it for a while before he’s able to approach you and say he’s ready if that’s something you would enjoy, because if it’s for you, he’d try anything. once it happens and he gets into it, oh i think he’d be into it—it’s just not something he ever would have known he’d like unless you bring it up, because he is naturally selfless in love.
the diluc soft dom to hard(er) dom pipeline is crazy cause when he gets the okay from you to be firmer, he naturally takes on that role as if it was made for him, and he remains a service top through everything. his pleasure comes second to yours, and that’s how he has always operated (which also makes for very interesting flip dynamics whenever he gets desperate👁️). if you ask for him to be firm, if you tell him you want him to be in control, that you want to submit to him, that you want him to be strong, to guide you, to take what he wants?
he’s putty.
he’d ask you several times if you’re sure. if that’s really what you want. when you say yes, it is, i’m telling you that it is—he’s still rather nervous at first. at first he wonders if he even knows what he wants, because he’s always so focused on what you want.
but truly, what he wants is just to love you in a way that is safe and comfortable for the both of you. if you are pleasured, he is pleasured. that’s honestly the baseline for anything he ever does.
perhaps, though, just once, he can focus on his own pleasure a bit more. you’ve given him the explicit go-ahead, many times, and even asked for him to be rougher, after all.
so he becomes more truly dominant, giving you more directions, and asking for more from you. he even takes, sometimes, and he has never taken anything before. it makes you feel very giddy.
his new firmness opens up the opportunity for you to explore being bratty. you’ve found yourself becoming increasingly playful, while he remains rather stoic and hard-assed as he learns to deal with you, and you love it—you know he does, too, because he has told you. taming you is a nice fun precursor to the intimate and very romantic missionary sex that you two will have.
and if you’ve talked about kids in your marriage before, this is the point where a hidden desire will finally emerge in him.
he really wants kids. more than he let you realize before. and he really wants to get you pregnant. like whenever you’re ready, he is rearing to go. as soon as you give him consent, he is more needy and wanton than you’ve ever seen before. he takes more, manhandles you, and loves you firmly, and it’s literaly awesome sauce : 3
sorry lost my energy to write more and forgot how to be serious : 3 just got inflicted with the diluc brainrot for a solid 45 minutes and got the urge to write about it bc i for some reason was thinking about people having public-ish/risky sex and how i would never be comfortable with that personally for multiple reasons . and then i thought about diluc and i was like oh my glorious king he’s like a mr darcy dreamboat i swear ugh anyways
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meanbossart · 2 days ago
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Hellow
I was catching up with the latest chapters of ANE before reading The Spice™️ and I was reminded of how well you build and describe the environment surrounding your characters. Which prompts me to ask:
1 Do you have any drawings/sketches of landscapes and places from ANE that you can/would like to share?
2 Any advice for someone (me) that isn’t really good at putting their characters in places? I always end up with either a ‘too crowded’ or a ‘too barren’ of a setting.
Thank you for reading and hopefully answering my questions byee:3
Hello!!
Thank you! I have no idea what I'm doing so I'm glad I'm able to paint a good enough picture 😅
I do have two VERY simple sketches of the house of blood/the compound that I made to compare against my boyfriend's mental picture of it, basically to see how well I had been able to describe it since it's by far the most challenging area to put down into text.
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(everything is very boxy and not exactly the ideal proportion, but again, this was a very simple sketch I made to "aid" the descriptions rather than for it to stand on its own at all) Here you see the "apple core" of the hive with the drow settlement and all the precarious platforms that interconnect and spring out of it. The cabins you see are sometimes two stories high so the area us actually quite big! Which is how Do'zynge is able to walk across the support-beams on the underside of said platforms even though he's rather large for a drider. The catwalk pictured can be moved up and down to connect people to different floors a little faster.
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Here's a similar sketch based off of an specific scene, this one focuses more on the walkways built into the walls. I'm not sure why I huddled the doors together so much, they should definitely be more spaced out.
Also, while I used the same shorthand for everything, the spawn living spaces are all wood and stone - from the doors to the floor and railings. While the drow settlement (where Dalyria is too) is mostly metal and well structured tents.
For your second question, that's rough because I am also never quite satisfied with my descriptions 😂but I think that's a part of it; you need to make peace with the fact that you will NOT be able to paint a perfect picture, and think of the whole process as less of a job that you must do alone, but rather a collaboration between you and the reader's own creativity! You have to be willing to put some of the onus on them to imagine what it is you're trying to transcribe, instead feeling under the obligation of giving them exact descriptions for every little thing.
I try to use words that evoke a specific style and mood - say that the room is ornamental, warm, say that it's all golden and red and six sentences from now mention that the couch your character sat in is velvety. Reveal things as they come into relevance instead of interrupting the pace for two entire paragraphs to describe the room your characters just walked into - when appropriate, consider what they would even pay attention to at all and maybe limit yourself to it. Set a rough base for your environment at the start of a scene and then sprinkle descriptors in throughout the prose, and always consider if you truly NEED to get into the specifics of something or if the reader can be left to their own imaginative devices.
Also, unless necessary or some sort of plot device, I find that trying to establish where things are in a room (doors, furniture, stairs) in a map-like manner is a waste of time. Just say "behind him", "to her left", "right ahead", I don't think being overly specific benefits anybody - your reader picturing this set of stairs facing the west rather than the east is unlikely to be consequential to your narrative.
That being said, don't shy away from pointing "unnecessary" things out when they help set a mood, or help in characterization. Way early in ANE there's a scene where DU drow walks into the room where him, Astarion, and Shadowheart have been staying and are now about to leave, he takes note of the fact that one of them made the bed - he doesn't say who, besides that it wasn't himself, but I put that there to hopefully establish from early on that one character's priorities had started to change. In the compound, Dalyria is described as collecting useless things she found in the underground and displaying them around the office - this, on top of her new look, outfit, and company should paint a picture. Irennor's living situation should say all there is to know about him, and the way DU drow dismantles his belongings after only what is immediately valuable instead of considering the historical significance of anything says something about him, too. That's my favorite way of setting scenes, by finding out how to say something about the people in it.
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mrhrns · 13 hours ago
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A whole year has passed since then. I have truly hard feelings about this whole comic - exclusively for my own personal reasons. You see, it was made as a collaboration with another person. That person is now my thanks-long-ago-ex, with whom I was together for roughly 6 years. And it was... I don't know how to properly explain it rather than plain toxic abuse. Those damn relationship ended in june 2024, for which I am grateful still to my friends that helped me get out from this hell. And I'm still in a state of recovering from it, regularly getting flashbacks of all the traumas I got during that time. However, there are still other traces of it. This comic - is one of it. I really don't want to delete it, not only because I was also the one who did a titanic amount of work here, but because I see you, many people, who enjoyed it and who even returns to it after some time. But I also get regularly reminded of that person because of it. While I was astonished how greatly this comic was received by people, seeing all the audience response, it was never enough for them. They would belittle all those people reactions, then telling me in DM that "well, we did it all for nothing it seems". "I would never ever do anything like that again, it didn't paid off at all." Why am I telling all of this here? I'm not trying to spoil everyone's experience, of course. Perhaps I simply want to share what was behind this work all this time. I try my best to abstract away, seeing this only as a possibility of characters interacting with each other. But life is never going to be easy, eh?
The trials of Clavicus Vile
On the 1st of the Morning Star, the night of the summoning of the Daedric Prince of Desires and Deals - Clavicus Vile. It’s never clear how a contract with him will turn out. And if you ask for the impossible, being ready to do anything for the sake of your desires, maybe the New Year’s miracle really happened? Or not? Collaboration comic with https://www.tumblr.com/hanasari-blog @morhaerians - storyboard, sketch, clear lines, text @hanasari-blog - idea, colors, render, backgrounds, effects
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It's a bit late, but Happy New Year everyone! Let your dreams and sacred wishes come true this year :)
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justanothermemestrider · 2 days ago
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Nothing Ever Stays Dead - Part 2
Gadriel x Childhood Friend OC
Part two baby let's goooooooooo
Okay first up, I wanna thank every single person who has liked, reblogged, commented on and read part one (if you didn't catch it, you can read it here :)) . I love and appreciate every single one of you. Your support, comments and tags are literally food for my soul. So thank you ^^
Second, this fic makes reference to @beckyninja 's Titus x reader fic series. Specifically, it references Titus' relationship with the reader character "little healer." I really wanted to reference them bc they were such a big inspiration for me and @beckyninja is such an awesome writer and creator. If you wanna know more, go check out their fics. They're superbly written, and as mentioned above, they are among the inspo for this series. So go read them! :D
Third, standard warnings and notes: this part is sfw, but has violence, angst and general 40kness. Also unedited so apologies for any spelling and grammar errors (I'm sure there are some lol)
As always, thank you for reading and please enjoy :)
Between the towering grid of criss-crossing spires, the night sky twinkled at Ellicent. It was only a sliver- if she held out her hand, she could cover it entirely with her palm. But for a girl whose life until how had been spent at the very bottom of the Underhive's deepest fissures, it was like looking through a planetary telescope.
Stars of every colour shone against the deep blue back drop. It might just be her imagination, but Ellicent could've sworn it they were winking at her. Like they knew how pretty they were, and were only too happy to show off of her.
A smile touched Ellicent's lips. For the first time in a long time, she felt truly content.
"I thought I might find you up here."
She turned in her seat. On her left, not far from where the chimney sat, a warm, round face framed with silver hair appeared over the edge of the roof. Ellicent's smile broadened a little more. "You know me well," she said.
Climbing off the ladder and onto the roof, Gadriel carefully made his way over to her Although they were about the same age, were she was lithe like a cat, he built like an ox. Meant with every step he took, the iron sheet that made up the roof shook and rattled. He lowered himself down beside her, then followed her gaze upward.
"Pretty, right?" Ellicent said.
"Uh huh. If only there weren't so many hive spires in the way."
Smirking, Ellicent leaned into his shoulder. Gadriel lifted his arm to make room for her, then draped it around her. Ellicent had to resist the urge to sigh- after sitting outside in the cold for so long, the warmth of his body against hers was heavenly.
"If you join the Angels, you'll get to see all of it," she said.
"You mean when."
"Sorry. When."
Both of their tones are humourous, but underneath is an edge. An unspoken tension wedged between them, despite how close they are now.
"I thought you'd be too old now, anyway," Ellicent said. "Don't they only take young boys?"
"18 cycles is the official cut off," Gadriel said. "I've still got one more left to make it."
Eliicent nodded, but said nothing. Her silence, however, spoke for her.
Gadriel's arm around her tightened. Gently, he guided her head into the crook of his neck. "Ellie. I-"
"I know. It's the best way to get out of here. To get us out of here." She shook her head slightly. "But it's not the only way. And it's definitely the most dangerous."
"It's only dangerous for me," Gadriel said. "For you and Mum, it's the safest."
Ellicent swallowed the lump that was forming in the back of her throat. An old familiar grief rose up within her heart. With it, it brought pictures of her father.
"Ellie?" Gadriel asked. She felt the warm kiss of his forehead touching her crown. "Will you say something?"
Gazing up at him, Ellicent gave him a brief peck on the lips. "We've still got one cycle," she said. "We'll figure something else out by then."
"And if we don't?"
"We will," Ellicent said.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It wasn't him.
Over and over, her head tells her the same thing. With every turn of her screwdriver. With every jolt of pain that shoots through her shoulder from her damaged cybernetic arm.
It wasn't him.
It wasn't him.
It wasn't him.
"But it was," Ellicent says aloud. "It was. He said my name. I heard his voice. It was him."
Why did he never come back, then?
Why did he leave you?
The screwdriver slips from her hand and clatters to the floor. Cursing, she stoops down to pick it up. "I... I don't know," she hisses at herself. "Maybe he- maybe he was too busy. Or thought I was already dead."
Or maybe he forgot about you.
Tears sting Ellicent's eyes. It's all she can do to keep herself from crying out loud.
"It wasn't him," she mutters. "It can't have been."
The snap of an opening door makes her look up.
"Ellicent! What the hell was that?"
Ellicent winces away from the voice. It grates her like a razor across her ear, spawns a knot of anxiety deep within her gut. "I'm sorry, sir," she says. "I-"
He punches her in the face. Hard enough to break the skin of her brow. Ellicent tumbles out of her chair, breaking her fall with her still-damaged cybernetic. The arm's metal hisses like a snake who's been stood on.
"How many Space Marines have you killed for me already, huh?"
Ellicent touches her finger to her brow. She stifles another wince.
"How many?!" Severus bellows.
Ellicent swallows bile and blood. "Ten," she murmurs.
"That's right. Ten." Grasping her by the pony tail, Severus hails her to her feet. His own bionic arm whines with the effort. "So tell me, " he spits. "Why the fuck was some trio of damned blue boy-scouts able to best you?"
Ellicent avoids his eye. He hates it when she looks at him. Doing so now would only earn her another punch. "I'm sorry," she says again, even meeker than before.
She can feel Severus' glare boring through her skull. Her scalp is screaming, but she bites her lip against the pain. Show no resistance. Only subservience. Even if you hate it, it is the only way to survive.
With a wordless snarl, Severus throws her to the ground. "Worthless wretch. I invest everything in building you, and you give me nothing in return."
Ellicent sneaks a glance up at him. Running his hand through his long, greasy hair, he wears an exhausted, frustrated scowl. "The Drukhari won't forgive us for this," he says, more to himself than to her. "They'll want to cut ties. Won't wanna risk having the Sons of Guilliman looking their way."
He carries on like this for several minutes. Completely ignoring Ellicent, as if she'd never been in the room in the first place. Ellicent pushes herself up to her knees, but doesn't risk trying to rise. Even without the threat of Severus' wrath, however, she doubts she could stand anyway. Her face aches from the punch, and her head is spinning.
It wasn't him, her mind tells her. Over and over again.
Her heart, however, is not so easily silenced.
But what if it was?
* * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"A Valkyrie is on it's way for Chairon," Titus reports. "Despite appearances, the Apothecary believes he will likely survive."
Gadriel looks up from his hands. For the last hour, he's done nothing but stare at them in silence. He looks past Titus to where their brother lies prone. When the gas charge had detonated, Chairon had caught a piece of debris to the side of the head. It had struck with enough force to sever his helm, break his skin and crack his skull. A sickening mixture of emotions broil within Gadriel at the sight of his brother like this. At the knowledge of who had done it to him.
"Promise me you'll come back."
"I promise."
"Sergeant?"
Gadriel starts. "Forgive me," he says. "That is- that is a relief. Thank the Emperor, indeed."
Titus' expressionless helm stares at Gadriel for several long moments. Gadriel has to stifle the urge to squirm. The lieutenant briefly looks around; after the attack, the fireteam had retreated into a nearby complex, smashing down the windows and taking cover within its walls. Since then, the area has been silent. The only evidence of there ever being a fireifght are the odd tangle of black smoke still spiralling in the air. Satisfied that they are still secure, Titus looks back at Gadriel.
Then, he removes his helm.
The seals around his throat hiss as Titus breaks them, lifting off the helmet before tucking it under his arm. His face is squarer than Gadriel's, with a firmer jaw and a blunt nose. His hair is cropped close to his skull and the pair of silver studs above his right brow indicating his century-long career as an Ultramarine- gleam in the low, polluted light. His is a fierce visage to look upon, there's not doubt about that. But despite that, when he looks at Gadriel now, the only thing fierce about him is the intensity of his worry.
"Forgive me for saying this, brother. But you appear to be distracted. Unsettled, even."
Gadriel's instinct is to lower his gaze. To try and brush the lieutenant off with a snide remark or flat out refusal. Indeed, if they had been having this conversation back on Kadaku, that might have been exactly what he would have done. But much has happened since then. Many things, both good and bad, have passed between him and Titus. As such, the lieutenant has become one of his closest friends.
If anyone might understand, it will be him.
Taking a breath, Gadriel sighs it out through his nose. Removing his own helmet, he sits upon a nearby ledge and sets it on his lap. "That woman," he starts. "I... I know her."
"You've encountered her before?"
Gadriel covers his blush with one hand, feigning the need to rub his nose. "That's one way of putting it."
Titus eyes him carefully. Despite his best efforts, Gadriel can feel himself wilting under the scrutinisation. Titus clasps his helmet to his hip, then walks up to Gadriel to sit beside him. He's leaning forwards elbows braced on his knees. Something about the posture gives Gadriel a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Is she a former ally?" Titus asks quietly.
Gadriel chews his cheek. Shakes his head.
"An enemy, then?"
"No," Gadriel says sharply. "No, she- she was the first one."
"An ally?"
"How much more?"
The word makes him wince. "Yes. But she was..." Throne, how do I even describe it? "She was more than that. A lot of more."
Gadriel bites his cheek. His tongue feels like ash in his mouth. "We were... together. Before I joined the Ultramarines."
Titus nods thoughtfully. "I see."
A beat of silence passed between them. Titus is the one to break it. "Tell me, how long have you served for?"
"As of this cycle? Fifty three years."
Tirus nods again. "That's a long time. Particularly in the eyes of a baseline."
The comment is innocent enough, and in no way untrue. Even so, Gadriel feels his hackles rise. "What are you saying? "
"She tried to kill us, Gadriel. She raised a weapon against the Emperor's Angels. And even if she hadn't, I know you saw the same as I: the particle beams, the necronian cybernetics. That alone is-"
"It's not as simple as that," Gadriel says. He looks down at his hands. "It can't be."
His hands become fists. For the first time this entire interaction, Gadriel looks Titus right in the eye. "I need to talk to her."
"Sergeant-"
"No, listen to me. Ellie would never do this. Never. Severus must be coercing her or have her enslaved."
"Gadriel-"
"She could've killed me back there, at the warehouse. She had her blade at my throat. But she didn't. When she heard me speak, she stopped. She recognised me, Titus. She said my damn name!"
"Gadriel, enough!"
Titus' voice snaps like a whip, cutting Gadriel off mid-breath. The corners of his eyes have hardened slightly, and though he still appear sympathetic, Gadriel can feel exasperation bubbling beneath it. "I understand your frustration, brother. If she were truly falsely accused, you know I would take your side. But we both saw her wielding alien technology. We both saw her bomb wound Chairon and her blade almost kill you." His voice softens. "Whoever she was to you does not change that. It can't."
Gadriel bites the inside of his cheek hard enough to make it bleed. The taste of his own blood is sharp on his tongue. Sharper still is the invisible blade scything away at his heart.
But what if it's all my fault? He wants to say. What if I was reason for whatever terrible thing that brought her here, and if I didn't remedy it, I could not bear to live with myself.
Gadriel says no such thing, however. If he did, all he would get from Titus is more stern sympathy.
That isn't to say that Gadriel remains silent, however. In fact, he's already got his next argument prepared, has for a while. He doesn't know if it will work, and the only thing he does knkw is that, initially at least, it will do nothing but outrage Titus. But Gadriel has no other ideas. He's desperate. And he running out of the time.
"What if it had been your little healer?"
Titus' entire body goes rigid. "What?"
Gadriel clenches his jaw. Both of his hearts pound as if he'd just stepped into a firefight. But he keeps talking. "She was accused of heresy, wasn't she? Her own people tried to kill her. But you saved her."
Titus' nostrils flare as he exhales sharply through his nose. "What relevance does that have here?"
"What relevance?" Gadriel demands. "It is the same thing!"
"My healer was falsely accused."
"You didn't know that when you saved her, though, did you?"
With a crash of ceramite on concrete, Titus is on his feet. "Speak your mind, Sergeant," he growls. "But I warn you; you are on thin ice."
Gadriel steadies his pulses with a slow, deep breath. Then, joining Titus on his feet, he meets the lieutenant's gaze. "If this was your healer," he says. "You would not hesitate in seeking her out. Even if she had attacked us- even if she'd succeeded in killing Chairon and I- you would go to her. You'd want to help her. Or, at the very least, try and talk to her. I know you would, and I know that you know it too, even if you won't admit it. So why won't you allow me to do the same?"
Titus' jaw feathers with tension. Gadriel can practically hear the storm raging behind his eyes. He imagines Titus can see something similar happening behind his own eyes, too. "You know the Codex would absolutely abhor such an action," the lieutenant says quietly.
"I do," Gadriel says. "But the codex is not always right. You taught me that."
For a long time, Titus says nothing. He just stares at Gadriel. Either searching for something within the sergeant's expression or mulling over his own thoughts. Gadriel's hearts roar in his ears. The cut he'd chewed into the side of his cheek has now become an open wound. But he doesn't dare interrupt the Titus' thoughts. Right now, the lieutenant is Gadriel's only hope. By extension, that makes him Ellie's only hope.
Finally, after what feels like a century, Titus opens his mouth. "You're right," he says. "Absolutely, you are right. And as your friend, I wish I could stand by you. But I am not merely your friend, Gadriel. I am also a servant of the Emperor, and I am also your commanding officer." He trails off, but Gadriel can hear what goes unspoken. It makes his throat close over, fills his stomach with rocks. "Titus," he whispers. "Please-"
"I'm sorry, Sergeant. But there is nothing I can do."
Gadriel opens his mouth to argue, but as the first curse word leaves his mouth, the bang of a firearm makes both Astartes turn. Gadriel scoops up his helmet and makes his way over to the window. Above the city skyline, piercing the dying daylight like a sword through armoured plating, a single, scarlet light rises into the sky.
"Is that a flare?" Titus says from Gadriel's side.
Gadriel swallows thickly. There's no way... No way she still has it.
"Yes," he replies.
"But there are no other Imperial forces here."
"It's not Imperial," Gadriel mutters.
Titus looks at the sergeant, confused. It doesn't take long, though, for the pieces to fall into place. "Gadriel-"
But Gadriel is already gone. Slamming his helmet back over his head, locking its objective marker onto the location of the flare, no other thought, feeling or concern in his mind.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Feel like I'm finally cooking now XD part 3 is about to be the scene that I dreamed up that made me wanna write this story in the first place so I am SO HYPED to write it :D
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed <3
Taglist: @solspina @beckyninja @egrets-not-regrets @wolf-feathers12 @jaghatai-khock @lemon-russ @moodymisty @hatsubara-8chan @nereidof40k @yanagikou @fyxestroll @yurihasurunbara @lylakoi
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luvvyouforever · 3 days ago
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vampire!emily prentiss
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you are mine, you shall be mine, you and i are one for ever. ꨄ
-carmilla, sheridan le fanu
content: vampire au, wlw imagined when writing, lowk sugar mommy dynamic, sex, possessive, blood, feeding.
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𖤐 uses her immortality to enjoy all that life has to offer. indulges in expensive trips, luxurious fabrics, international delicacies, and art collection. her home is always beautiful no matter where she lives and becomes her own personal museum. probably has storage units around the world holding her keepsakes.
𖤐 works for fun rather than for money. creates new lives for herself when she gets bored with one. essentially builds an entire character and lives as her in some new place. will change her hair or her entire style so she's not recognized.
𖤐 if she had some way to just ethically source blood like premade bags or something along those lines, she would. but if those options aren't available, she will feed and drain the worst, almost like a vigilante.
𖤐 she is suchhhh a seductress, luring people in for pleasure and company easily. all she has to do is attend an event dressed to the nines and lean against a table before she has people crawling to her.
𖤐 when she meets you, she's entranced immediately. thinks about you all night long, dreaming of touching your skin and brushing your hair away and feeling your lips on hers. she tries not to let herself wonder what your blood tastes like but she can't help it when you're close and she can smell it.
𖤐 spoils you to no end, but makes sure she's buying you the best of the best. she's so good at being rich and enjoying luxury that she practically has to teach you. she shows you what expensive fabrics feel like and makes some expensive drink for you saying this is the only way you can enjoy vodka.
𖤐 i think she confesses to you that she's a vampire rather than you finding it out in some dramatic fashion. she feels herself becoming more attached to you and she's lived so long that she knows it's better to be upfront about it to keep you.
𖤐 i like to think that if there was some way to have you eternally and let you live alongside her for the rest of her life, she would want that, but she would make sure you're really sure. eternity is not what everyone makes it out to be, she says. but she would be so heartbroken if you said no, knowing she has to watch you age.
𖤐 loves teasing you by dragging her sharp teeth along your skin, sending shivers down your entire body as you think about how powerful she is, what she's truly capable of. enjoys making you come completely undone for her.
𖤐 she has so much experience and knows exactly what to do to make your body sing for her. she can draw it out for an entire night, keeping you down on the bed, making you finish around her till you're a babbling mess. or she can take you against the kitchen counter quickly, having you leave for work in record time.
𖤐 is very possessive and claiming of you. she gets angry at someone's touch against you, even more so if they've been so close to you that she can smell them. licks along your neck, muttering 'mine' the whole way up.
𖤐 will totally gift you something that makes it glaringly clear that you're taken. she'll gift you a locket with her initial carved into it, or an ornate ring she picked up centuries ago. you wear it with pride, so happy to have been gifted something beautiful, but she's smirking as she feels her possessiveness quelled a little bit.
freaky vampire blood stuff below i'm sorry (no i'm not):
𖤐 it would take multiple conversations for her to be comfortable with feeding from you. she likes strict boundaries and open discussion and prioritizes your health over anything. she informs you about how you're gonna feel, how the process will work, everything. when she receives another confirmation from you, she can't help but feel excited that she finally gets to taste you.
𖤐 the first time she does it, she makes it an intimate experience as if it was your first time having sex. makes it dark in the room, lays you down on the plush bed and crawls on top of you. she asks for permission one more time and when you readily give it to her, she bends down and gently seeks her teeth into your neck.
𖤐 from that moment, she's obsessed. she dreams about your taste and craves it all the time. but if nothing, she's great at self-control. she holds herself off until you've recovered, then she will practically crawl to you, begging for another taste. it's the most submissive you've ever seen her.
𖤐 she lost her mind when, as she was about to cum during sex, you lifted your neck, offering her the perfect spot to sink her mouth onto. she finishes just at the moment that your blood fills her. she never wants to leave your side.
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erenstitanweave · 11 hours ago
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❥HOW WE LOVE III
pairing: various x reader (vi, caitlyn, vander)
rating: giving/receiving love language headcanons
a/n: so, this is officially a new series! please keep in mind this will be my first time writing for all upcoming characters, respectful criticism and advice on how to write them is welcome! SPOILER ALERT!! reblogs and comments are appreciated, hope you enjoy!!
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VI
giving:
poor vi, her eldest daughter syndrome bleeds through every aspect of her life (relatable but we move on)
all jokes (are we joking though??) aside, i think vi would be hesitant to love quickly or even love at all
vi isn't someone who shows her love through words though, so i feel like if she really began to care and love you, she would show it though her actions
i feel like her main type of acts of service would be protecting you in some manner, whether it be verbally or physically
she's genuinely afraid of losing you, so the protective nature would be slightly overbearing in cases where she's on the edge, but other than that, it's pretty standard.
quality time is another big one for her, not just because it's also a way for her to trust you, but because she'd quite literally just want to get to know you better
i could see this being the case whether or not you live the same type of life (i.e: being a zaunite or not)
i feel like she's seen enough to know that regardless of what side you're on, experiences vary for everyone, and she'd just want to know yours and through that, open up to you
small side tangent, but she's TOUCHY.
once she's attached to you, so are her hands. they quite literally are always on you in some way, whether that be through subtle touches (i.e: letting her hand graze against your side when she walks past you, her hands lingering too long as she's holding you, etc.) or through much more obvious ones like an arm wrapped around your waist
receiving:
although she is a protecter by nature, this causes her to be very wary of people and not very trusting of just anyone
i feel like she wouldn't just prefer acts of service but she would need it in order for her to begin to trust you
acts of service, subconsciously or not, are vital to slowly letting down her walls and letting her become trust worthy of you, but once they're down, it's game over
we see in the show how she is once she trusts someone, she shakes off the shell she shows the world and just becomes herself.
i feel like she'd love someone who can't keep their hands off her (except in the obvious situations)
even lingering gazes would make this girl WEAK and she knows it, so just imagine what having your hands all over her does to her brain (short answer: she short circuits)
much like vander, i think a part of her craves words of affirmation because of how her past mistakes constantly haunt and consume her being
even though a part of her knows it isn't her fault things turned out the way it did, a part of her mind won't allow her to believe it
even if she never might truly believe or accept this fact, hearing you tell her good things about herself and praise her makes her head spin with this feeling she can't explain, but all she knows is that it's one she'd never let go
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VANDER
giving:
vander to me is probably one of the more protective characters in the show and i think his love languages in terms of giving reflect that heavily
i personally think he'd adore quality time the most, being the man he is, he doesn't really get much time to himself outside of his kids and dealing with the Lanes
it doesn't really matter what kind of quality time to him either imo, i think he'd be most comfortable with just being in your presence, even if you two aren't saying anything
one of his favorites moments though, is seeing you with his kids
he adores seeing you with them, the sight warming his heart knowing the family he works so hard to keep together is happy
words of affirmation i can see being another huge one for him, he'd definitely let you know that you're doing good in whatever you may be doing or even just making it through each day
he'd often pull you aside to let you know though, wanting his words to only be for you and not the prying eyes of others (or the kids potentially listening in on you both)
i could see vander being into physical touch, but only very slightly if it's in public
if you were behind the bar with him, he'd ever so slightly graze the small of your back with his palm or subtly grab onto your waist as he cleaned off the bar
he's an asshole though (lovingly, of course) and would do this especially if you were talking to someone just to get a laugh out of it
he'd be extra careful with this though, as he knows that he constantly has eyes on him, ones that could be dangerous to you if he overdoes his affections
receiving:
i could see vander loving words of affirmation in return, he definitely needs to hear that he's doing a good job taking care of his kids (especially when he feels like they fuck up because of him)
i also can see him holding a lot of doubts about past decisions in all aspects, so just hearing you tell him that he's doing good and that everything will be alright grounds him more than anything
even just telling him that he's a good father, even with his faults and past mistakes will make him feel so much better, no doubt making him fall for you even more than he thought possible
he's the biggest sucker for physical touch too, especially really subtle ones just for the two of you
don't get him wrong, he loves big gestures of physical affection, but he's not alone with you often, making the subtle ones happen a lot more often
he definitely loves holding hands and interlocking fingers especially, the latter being the one you two do more often when around most people
but when the last drop is closed to outsiders and is usually just benzo, the kids, and yourselves, he's all over you
he'll mostly have you in his lap if you're not off with the kids, or just hugging you from behind
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CAITLYN
giving:
this girl is a bit of a tough one for me i won't even lie, but she's very well meaning in most aspects
i feel like she'd be into quality time and gift giving honestly
hear me out though, living in piltover her whole life and only recently seeing for herself how the world is and how things can change in an instant makes me think she'd gravitate towards spending time with you in one way or another
it doesn't even have to be explicitly spending time together either, just the fact that you'd be near her would be enough, especially if you're close enough to where she could protect you if need be
her protective nature is one reason why time with you is so sacred to her, not only that she'd be able to cherish her time with you, but that she'd truly be able to appreciate life in it's entirety
the gift giving aspect simply stems from her being wealthy (well not really)
i just see her as someone who expresses herself and what she wants to say with actions, and those actions are gifts
doesn't matter what you like honestly, she'd get it somehow. luxurious clothes? boom, right there on your shared bed. foods or sweets? she somehow has the entire stock right in front of you with a small smile on her face
both of these, to me, just stem from her innate desire to make you happy
she wants to give her lover the world, and with all she's seen in such a short amount of time after being spoonfed certain things about the world, she wants to make sure you're happy with her for as long as you both live
receiving:
receiving is a slight improvement but honestly she screams physical touch and words of affirmation yearner
think about it, being as skilled as she is, she's probably gotten praise about it from everyone
from you, though? it's way different in her mind, especially if you actually talk about why you give her the praises you do
she's expected the praise by now, but to her, it'd feel different because with you, it didn't feel..obligatory or forced
it wouldn't feel like the stuffy, fake pleasantries she'd be used to being in such a high place of power all her life, but something much more sincere and loving
she'd crave it, even going so far as to push herself beyond her limits just to hear you praise and support her for doing so
physical touch to me is another big one for her, i could see touching being a huge factor for her simply because of the intimacy
she most likely has never had anyone as close to her as her lover, so the sheer intimacy with even the slightest of touches knowing that she will only allow this from you is mindblowing for her in the best ways possible
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justallihere · 21 hours ago
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Okay, I did some laundry, I've had lunch, I've breathed fresh air and taken some deep breaths (did not touch any grass because it's covered in snow), and we're back. My wrap up thoughts of Onyx Storm are below! Be warned it's chock full of spoilers, and these are all my honest opinions. I haven't even given this a rating yet because I don't really know what I want to rate it! Nothing's really in order so sorry about that. But I look forward to hearing everyone else's thoughts!
I loved that the importance of the bond between dragon and human was emphasized so heavily in this book. That Asher called Aimsir Lilith's first love, Violet telling Tairn he's the gift of her life, that even Halden knew that the true barrier to her would be the dragon bond - and especially that when Xaden channeled again, in a way that he knew would irreversibly damn him, he did it for Sgaeyl. To keep her safe, because she chose him before and above everyone else.
I adored the Riorgail of it all. They were open and honest with each other, saying I love you practically every other breath, declaring their loyalty and devotion to each other in front of anyone who would listen. I loved that we got them as a team, facing stuff together and trusting that what they couldn't the other could handle it.
On the other hand, it may just be me but they didn't quite feel like themselves. Maybe because it was the first time we've truly seen them be public about their feelings, but they didn't feel like the same Xaden and Violet from the previous two books. Xaden felt so intense that everything he said gave me anxiety, devoted to the point of obsession. I would actually call Violet morally gray here, but it came out of nowhere; there wasn't a great transition into that change in her character, none of the hesitation or guilt I'd expect.
In short, they kind of felt like my Xaden and Violet and not canon? I loved them, but I'm not sure it matches what we know of them from FW and IF and the change in character didn't feel entirely smooth.
But Xaden IS her sword!!!!
The worldbuilding was ridiculous. Violet was dropping facts left right and center like the details of the aristocracy and politics at play were common knowledge - and maybe they are in world, but if they're that obvious then I feel like those details should've been worked into earlier books. I felt like I was floundering trying to keep up with all the new names and titles and roles.
In the same vein, the lore about magic made no sense. So only the Continent has magic but why? Was it drained from other places? Does it only occur naturally in certain areas? Dragons don't have magic that exists within them - they also draw from the source which? Hello hypocrites much? That was another thing that was said so casually, but that should've been one of those things we learned in Fourth Wing, at Threshing or right after.
There was too much happening with the plot to the point that I lost it completely. The trips to the isles were overwhelming. I know the venin and the irids were tied together, but those two things competed so much that I kept forgetting about whichever one we weren't talking about. Literally just. . . forgot about the venin there for a bit in the middle. We were looking for a cure but we were looking for Andarna's kind but we were trying to stop the venin and we were also gathering allies and making trade deals and none of those points were fleshed out completely.
The ending was vague and confusing in a way that made me frustrated instead of interested or anticipatory. I read the last two chapters three times and I still don't know what the fuck was going on there. So the Sage is. . . Fen? Is Garrick the one who also turned? Bodhi? Brennan? Ridoc? Fuck if I know. I understand the point of the marriage, to give Violet control over Tyrrendor legally, but I'm also pissed at the way it happened.
I know we don't want anyone to actually die, but I literally didn't even flinch when Mira's throat got cut open because I figured she'd be fine. There were no important deaths. Trager and Quinn didn't hit that hard. Not putting any of the main characters in significant danger makes the stakes feel lower than they should.
The fan service made me roll my eyes. I get it to a certain extent, but there were several times when I legitimately kind of felt like RY had been in fandom spaces or someone on her team was just feeding her popular theories to include.
The marked ones having second signets was. . . not my favorite choice, because logistically it doesn't make much sense. We should statistically see at least one of them go mad from the power instead of developing a second signet. And I actually think if that had been included it would have been more interesting! I'd like to see the reality of the risks that were taken to make the rebellion happen, but instead they just got really really lucky a bunch of times?
The use of the word Riorgail in print sent me to the fucking moon. No.
Violet's second signet. . . I don't want to talk about it.
Actually no I do. Since when are signets based on situational need and not who a person is at their core? Was that not what we were told previously? Am I tripping? I don't mind the power itself but I am confused.
Professor Riorson had me on the ground laughing. What the hell was that. There are enough barriers to their relationship, and that one felt too forced (but great fodder for smutty fic).
The characters and their relationships are the standout of the book and the series. I already said I loved Xaden and Violet here, but I also loved their friendships and how real especially the relationship with Brennan and Mira and Violet felt. The humor and the quips and the squad's constant support of each other was wonderful.
I'm holding onto those Sloane and Dain crumbs like a teddy bear you all have no idea. I love them.
Aaric being the one with precognition I didn't see coming, but I surprisingly liked it! I loved him stepping more into his role as prince and seeing how cunning and smart he really is.
Halden was unnecessary but I live for possessive and jealous Xaden.
Overall I think the pacing was crammed and the worldbuilding left me with more questions than answers, but did I still like it? Yes! I don't think it's my favorite in the series but it still was an enjoyable read. I'll want to read it again at some point I think, but not immediately!
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causticsodaa · 2 days ago
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Sakura is an unintentional trigger for Togame’s development, but not the sole cause
In fact, it’s mainly Togame himself who inadvertently kickstarts his own change.
During the beginning of their fight, Sakura doesn’t make much of an effort to understand Togame (effectively disregarding Ume’s advice); to him, Togame is just a low-life loser who likes to pick on other people for the sake of it.
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But when Togame says these particular words, it awakens something in Sakura—it’s stricken his nerves, and it reminds him all too much of his past. Sakura doesn’t want to be alone again, not when he’s found a place with the strong.
Because of this, Sakura starts to project his own personal feelings onto Togame. This will be a recurring theme throughout their fight.
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Alongside the personal tangent, Sakura also agrees with Togame. Although, I speculate that Togame is just parroting Choji’s own beliefs on power (ie. strength = freedom, power solidarity and weak = shackled, useless, alone), and Sakura and Choji already share many parallels.
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Sakura then proceeds to insult Shishitoren’s principles, criticizing Togame’s hypocrisy as well;
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Which then leads to Togame snapping and saying this:
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And Togame’s right. Sakura is an outsider; he knows nothing about Shishitoren, nor their background or it’s inner workings. Of course he’d get mad at the ‘cocky brat’ he’s facing is spewing things he doesn’t know, not when Togame cherished Shishitoren so much.
However, the fact that Sakura shares his own perspective as an outsider manages to work in Togame’s favor later on. Particularly within the next moment:
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Before Sakura’s claim, Togame had no idea about Arima, Kanuma and Saruwatari picking on Sasaki, which caused Furin to get involved in the first place. Although Shishitoren was hacving internal problems, externalizing weakness (as bullying is commonly attributed to) on outsiders surely wouldn’t abide well with Shishitoren’s principles.
The next following moments where Togame beats Arima and Kanuma recontextualizes his character for both the audience and Sakura.
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Togame showing slivers of compassion behind his intimidating exterior is further shown with how he approaches Sakura after this.
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Even though Togame had brutually beaten one of his own, the intent behind it is much more understandable this time. Compared to when he hit Saruwatari during Shishitoren and Furin’s confrontation, there is much more context and reason for his ‘cruelty’, and his entire demeanor changes. He’s drawn in a more sympathetic light as well, having a much more ‘softer’ (as compared to his terrifying glares before) expression on his face while extending his arms out to Sakura—even going as far to apologize to Sakura when he’s done nothing but exchange aggressive quips with him up to that point.
Sakura is, understandably, confused by this. Because how could such a scummy guy switch up this quickly?
This prompts him to ask this question when he realizes that Togame isn’t fighting as earnestly as before, with the intent of wanting to understand him this time. Sakura clearly sees the change in him here.
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But Togame doesn’t answer his question head on. In fact, he asks himself the same question.
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By this point of time, the audience is shown Choji and Togame’s backstory, which recontextualizes Togames character COMPLETELY.
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Every moment we’ve seen of him finally has some sort of substance. All he wants to do is protect Choji and Shishitoren, even if he has to play the bad guy for their sake.
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Togame deeply treasures Choji, and he is easily influenced by him (given the power explanation he told Sakura earlier). He would do anything for him, because he was the one who has given Togame a place to belong when he had barely anyone in the past.
His cruel front is even shown with his design. Togame braids his hair which shows how he’s tied to Shishitoren. He also wears sunglasses to show how blind he is to how wrong Choji’s actions truly are (which is ironic, because sunglasses are meant to protect you from the sun). Sure, he knows that it’s all wrong, but his care and love for Choji as well as his desire to protect Shishitoren overturns his gut feeling—so he decides to do the dirty work for Choji, enabling him.
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Because the sun must be loved by everybody, right? Togame is his second in command, he can’t afford to let himself be burned by Choji, much less have to leave the family he’s grown to love so much. He’s too in deep into the façade he’s had to put up now; he can’t stop even though its wrong—not until Sakura comes into the picture and makes him truly realize this, of course. (I’m just realizing that part this sounds too biased, but I want to emphasize how important Choji is to Togame in this section only because I cant fit it anywhere else please believe me)
Choji is the one person that has had the biggest impact on Togame in the long-term. Everything that Togame has done was for Choji.
But back to Sakura: he too impacts Togame, though on a more smaller scale. He is the catalyst that causes Togame to self-reflect; because it was him who felt so uneasy about Shishitoren’s changes.
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Togame comes to this realization himself: Shsihitoren isn’t a bully club. Each of it’s members and the group as a whole has its own morals.
Yet, Sakura continues to retaliate.
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Once again, Sakura is projecting his own personal feelings here. Though he addresses Togame’s true character and his faults, he immediately tries to hold Togame to his own standards (much like Suo does with his opponents): he needs to be ‘cool’, so Sakura would want to fight him. He’s indirectly telling Togame to not be a lowlife.
Togame calls Sakura selfish at that, which is an understandable sentiment because it’s Sakura’s own feelings, but he does end up following through his request during Noroshi, not only for Sakura, but for himself too.
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Sakura continues to project his own personal feelings. At this point, his dialogue doesn’t have much to do with Togame—it’s about Sakura’s own beliefs now.
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And it’s with an outsiders perspective that Togame properly realizes the errors of his ways.
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He decides to take Sakura seriously, but ultimately lets him win at the end. Although Sakura technically didn’t win due to Togame’s concession, his views have won over Togame’s own; which is why he thanks Sakura at the end, despite the latter not directly trying to help him see the error of his ways, (unlike Ume who knew Choji prior and intentionally helped him realize his wrongdoings during their fight) going on personal tangents throughout their battle instead.
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TLDR; Togame’s development during Shishitoren is mainly achieved by his own self-reflection. Sakura enables him to change himself, though indirectly and not with the intent of helping Togame as he is unaware of Shishitoren’s background and his need to protect Choji.
I wish I could’ve made this post longer as I believe there is much more to be said for Togame as a character and his relationships with Choji/Sakura/Shishitoren, but Tumblr won't let me embed any more images. Sigh.
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