#and these r late I suck
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rwrb shitpost ... firstprince plot in a nutshell
#look ive had no time to draw lately and it absolutely sucks#low effort doodles r all i have time for rn :( pray for me#shitpost#rwrb#red white and royal blue#henry fox mountchristen windsor#alex claremont diaz#firstprince#my art
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it bothers me a little when people are like "ugh toritsuka deserved to be written better, he was done wrong" like no, not really, you just didnt get the point... hes literally there to be a foil to saiki, who uses his powers relatively selflessly despite claiming over and over that he only uses them for self gain, and then toritsuka is there to show us what an actual selfish character looks like...
same thing when people are like "i feel so bad for him, saikis so mean to him! he needs better friends.. he doesnt deserve how they treat him!" bro. yes he does. the entire point of his existence is to show the audience that saiki isnt the selfish powerhouse he claims to be, and that there are people out there actually using esp for bad things and there are much worse people that saikis powers couldve been given to...
toritsuka also has some good qualities obviously, the cat tank arc is SO important for him cuz it shows both the worst and best parts of his character but a lot of people like to focus solely on one and erase the other and its ajajkskqksms frustrating for me
#this is about a lot of tiktoks ive been seeing lately...#the tiktokers are like REALLY into him rn LOLLL#obviously anyone can see him however they want but i just wanted to add my two cents teehee#this doesnt apply to people who r just uncomfortable with perv characters cuz me too#but its also worth mentioning that ur SUPPOSED to hate that about him#its also just making fun of the perv trope but either way ur not supposed to like that about him#he sucks and hes supposed to suck snd hes rlly rlly good at being the worst#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#toritsuka reita#meows post#meownalysis#<- adding this in way later because i want to refer back to this post
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here's that essay i accidently hyped up (sorry) on how fionna & cake did a poor job of concluding betty & simons characters + story in the final 2 episodes. sorry it is so insanely long. i don't know what my deal is. sometimes a show just does such a bad job of handling your favorite characters that you have to write 19k+ words complaining about it, i guess. im linking it as a pdf bc i DO NOT want to have 2 copy & paste this all over to tumblr & i kinda don't think tumblr would be happy with me making a post that long.
#if it sucks uhm. be nice to me pls 👉👈#ik im very snarky & kinda harsh in this but like. i rlly dont usually share my thoughts on media like this much#im ok w hearing rebuttals btw. but also its not likley youll change my mind#im really happy other ppl enjoyed this ending (& also kinda jealous)#but i very definitely. dont like it#not just from a personal standpoint but in that#i just genuinely think the portrayal of simon & betty was done really poorly#things r bolded + theres random section titles that interupt the flow#bc even tho i wrote this much i do genuinely have reading comprehension issues#as in the actual definition of poor reading comprension. due to disability#not the tumblr thing where its for some reason used to mean ' bad at understanding media ' sometimes#oh yea also the font is big bc of this too#im nervou s abt this but too late now ig#fionna and cake spoilers#im not putting it in the tags its 4 the ppl who already know abt it#its emberassing that i wrote all this but i think its worse if i dont share it bc then i just. have it#mmmm..worst part is i dont even cover everything. i have MORE complaints#text
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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Super sexy me is so sexy I accidentally set off the fire alarm while baking pie shells for my pumpkin pie. And now I don't know if I should've even baked them in the first place. But well. Too late now 👍
#speculation nation#i am not a fucking baker so something always goes wrong when i make these pies 😭😭😭#but i am craving my grandma's pumpkin pies... i gotta bake them myself if i want them rn...#see the thing is ive previously bought pre-baked like. graham crusts#but i was like 'that crust sucks lets get a different thing'#so i got tbis dough shit that i put into pans. the box said to bake it. and so i was like ok cool#then as they were in the oven i looked at the pumpkin pie recipe for starting the filling#and then saw that it says 'unbaked shells' and so 😥😥😥😥#but too late now and it worked fine with the graham. and well. the filling is what i care about the most.#the crusts are just an excuse for having pie filling.#anyways i did set off the alarm. i think it's bc the oven was on so hot#the box says 450 which is hotter than i ever usually do. the pies themselves ask for 350#so well i turned the oven off and i have the microwave fan running#which oh yeah the fucking handle to my microwave fucking broke. it fucking broke.#i think i'll duct tape it or smth lol. microwave itself works fine still. and i dont want people in my apartment.#it's just the bottom part but it sure did just. splinter off. that shit is Broke broke.#and i scared the shit outta my cats And me with that damned alarm. and now i am just waiting.#calming down some. chilling the crusts. soon i will resume making the pie filling.#it's not like it even takes much time i am just. Nervous now.#i wanna let the oven cool off more b4 i have it going for like 45 mins lol#the crusts are kinda ugly. one of them is inflated on the bottom. these pies r going to be disasters.#so long as they still taste good......thats what i care about the most...#maybe my crusts will end up nuclear... if that happens tho ill just eat the filling out of the crust... its fine... ill be fine...#😭😭😭😭😭😭 why is everything so hard
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btw this hyperfem pink blog is not only transfem-friendly, it's transfem pandering, transfem hugging & smiling & making friendship bracelets. I am waving at u like HI HIIII HI!!!! omg hi!!!! and putting flowers in yr hair
#also hugging & waving at my other followers ofc ofc#ive just seen a lot of BULLSHIT abt the girlies swimming nefariously in the world lately & i wanted to make my stance totally clear#transfem friends i am braiding your hair & making you a cup of tea#all my coolest friends r leaving this BULLSHIT republican state & it's getting lamer by the day. but i get it. go with ur heart...#its like when all the animals leave in the lorax yknow the sky is turning gray & the water is shit & the trees r dead#how it feels when ur trans friends move to chicago :/#i want u to go so youll be happier but this place sucks w/o you!#transfem positivity
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slutty drew shots from a vine comp i watched before bed if any of you go here
#when he showed off armpussy for free i gasped#been having a bit of a nostalgia breakdown lately and i keep watching danny n drew vids#before danny started sucking ass and drewdann was like . actually peak#also. in the slime music video i love the implication that drew and danny r brothers#bc they’re making vids in the style of coIIins key. thinking.#whenever i’m having a breakdown i look at the danny boy scout uniform images and freak the fuck out#bunnyvommit
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Michael being rough with Evan and ruining how he views horseplay. Evan has to set clear boundaries because even when Michael was being nice he was grabbing and pushing and shoving and smacking at his hands. Because even if his friends are being nice it doesn’t FEEL nice because it’s just like him. And he doesn’t wanna ruin anything but he has to explain how it makes him feel when people push him around. I think maybe one day he’d be okay with it but right now boundaries matter more than anything. You need to set them and obey them before you consider taking a step past them, and if he tells you to back up you have to. He’s spent his whole life getting his boundaries ignored and it is not a good feeling
#idk just thinking abt a post Percy made#saying that mike didn’t beat up Evan but would be rough with him#and I thought the same and lately I’ve been thinking about how THAT would affect evan#tzu rambles#also ppl being too rough sucks in itself#my siblings r rough a lot but never in mean spirit#so I can’t imagine how much it’d suck to get that from someone who genuinely hates you#evan afton#the crying child
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i miss. the vibes of the rpc a few years back
#things just felt more. community based#people interacted more w each other on the dash and it felt like people were really there to interact and not just for a follower count#its probably rose colored glasses in a lot of ways bc thats when i was most active so thats when it was most enjoyable but#idk there was just something ab the days where u could have 50 followers and always be interacting w most of them#these days ill get 200 followers and the same 5 mutuals interacting all the time#and like. huge shoutout to them they know who they are but those people make this site worth being on#its just. idk its tiring when a lot of time is spent yelling into the void that is the dash and getting nothing back#and to some extent timezones r to blame and also my lack of writing but its. its not just a lately thing#its been getting worse for years and i think this is really the first time ive ever been like. not active on tumblr?#like im here but a couple of years ago the idea of me having a main blog and barely ever logging in or writing was absurd#i would be online and writing 24/7 if not here then on discord and wire#bc people were always around to interact with and now its just like. oh weve all grown up and become adults and no one has time#for each other anymore and its very. thats life thats how it is but it sucks idk#maybe this is 2 some extent projection also bc thats how things r irl rn but thats just. tahts not important
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coming to the horrifying realization that i actually do want to be an artist while fully knowing how dumb and ill advised that is
#*****NOT actually in a career way#i want to like. be known as an artist i want to have people like my work on mass i want my art to stand on its own#i feel like people only like my art as like a friendly gesture towards me shelby and it doesnt really stand up on its own#(it being fanart doesn't help....i want to change thag i have ideas about original content but thats a whole other thing)#and idk i want to. create skilled work. and for people to know that about me that i can do that and like it LOL#i also do have enjoyment and love for art ive been thinking about art more and more lately even if i havent been drawing......#its not just an ego thing but yes its a little bit of an ego thing i think very justifiable (cope)#idk. i was thinking about like revamping and trying to organize my art better and my art accounts and accounts in general#my art does pretty bag algorithmically#and i dont want to change the content but i wonder if there is#actions I can do to become more like algorithm friendly as in size of canvas#layout formatting composition color etc etc yknow. jazz it up make it ''punchy'' make it more eye-catching to the mobile#experience LOL#there r definitely pieces that really do well bcs of their layout which im bad at esp on twitter#i need neeed to use twitter more for art actually#i always just refresh the for you and its actually pretty good at finding me different artists I actually like which....no other platform is#doing for me rn Pinterest sucks i keep going there for art inspo but it takes so long to like#hit a vein of good images......
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current stats since i mentioned it
#ive recently added a tom of new albums cause uve beem listening to a lot of more ambient-electronic stuff#<- if you know ANYTHING. at all. that sounds even a little bit like bowery electric ill actually suck your dick#every few months i get obsessed w them and get really annoyed they dont have more stuff 😖#my metal interest kind of dropped off but ive got a couple albums added that i like songs from that i wanna listen to in full :3#the other day i saw someone on tiktok say that 'we need to bring 90s shoegaze back' with fuckung cocteau twins playing#first of all they defined (late)80s shoegaze than they did 90s + diiv literally released a new album this year#and slowdive released one last year. like hello ??#bands from shoegaze revival eras are still active get off your ass and Look for them#stop saying 'all modern shoegaze sounds the same' and make a bandcamp account#like diiv and slowdive r actually popular#diiv's opened for fucking depeche mode before
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#Not to be dramatic lmao and it's probably just burnout but i am SO tempted to quit making BTCT altogether :/#I've been working on it for like... idk 2.5+ years now? and i'm just... t i r ed#also it's not like i'm even monetizing it atm. I'm literally just making it in my spare time (for free) and#I don't suspect it would do well if i Tried to monetize it again#and it's far Far too time consuming to continue if i choose to not monetize it#which is why lately i've been feeling like it would be better if I just.. quit making it entirely.#which would suck bc i love the story and the characters but at the same time i feel like it's just not worth continuing?#idk maybe i just have a case of burnout and imposter syndrome lol but#it feels pointless to continue?#I want an art career. And I need to earn more money.#but... i've kinda lost hope that it could be by/through making webcomics#or at least this webcomic#funky's personal tag#i say all this as if i'm not Just About to wrap up the first season production lol#i have like 1-2 more episodes left of season 1 to finsih#maybe i'll just finish making season one and Then call it quits#although season 1 ends on a cliff hanger so that would probably be pretty mean of me LOL
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i miss having a friend who i connected so deeply with it felt like i could talk to them every single day and never worried that they thought badly of me and we were hours and hours apart on two different continents and i’d wake up in the middle of the night to talk to them and once spent a whole morning with them on google maps going through the town they grew up in and enjoyed just seeing their world so far from me and still so lovely
#r#i really have never felt a connection like that and i ruined it the second my avpd started acting up and i needed to isolate and it just.#ruined it it really ruined it i screwed up so bad#and i could never go back after seeing what they said about me for it#because i have such a hard time trusting anyone because of. my childhood#and it really sucks i hate how sensitive i am over anything i wish i could have just asked for an apology and accepted it but i would never#have been able to move on not really i think#not back then when i was so unwell and didn’t know better and hadn’t grown#and to this day i love and miss them#and think of them whenever i see baby’s breath#when i press flowers when i listen to music when i think of purples and blacks and#so many beautiful things#and i’ll always carry them with me for that and for everything they meant to me#i was probably in love#but i never know until too late
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my friend pisses me off soooooo bad
#i text her first to ask abt how her essay is going wish her luck 2 times and she doesnt even like the message or say anything she just#changes the topic and then leaves me on read. okay#plus shes been getting so weirdly paranoid that im talking shit abt her to other ppl just bc ive finally made some other friends that arent#her after 1.5 years of suffering alone at my uni#(which i seriously to be honest do just bc shes been getting on my nerves with a lot of things lately)#but like man . throughout the 1.5 years that weve been talking to each other we havent progressed enough to call each other by#our first names to get the other to turn around etc i dont think we r close enough for me to abandon the wonderful religious practice of#sometimes discussing the things that your 1 friend does that piss you off with your other friends but then still hanging out with them#not because youre some sort of irredeemably evil two faced motherfucker but because thats just a normal part of having social relationships#mp#like i get that insecurity sucks and its a shitty feeling etc but ive literally dealt with this my whole cringe embarrassing childhood &#teenage years LOL like as long as your friends still make a conscious decision to spend time with u & u have fun together#then i think you dont need to worry. which is what i do so#the sun will rise again tomorrow
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mailee. that’s it that’s the post
#I haven’t been able to articulate any new thoughts about them lately which Sucks#but I need to make a post about them at least once a month lest I implode so.#this is what you get#atla#mailee#elli rambles#r#I haven’t written anything for mailee week yet either 😭😭#I have an idea but. I don’t know where to start#maileeposting
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#supposed to b having a call w friends tonight for my bday but im so burnt out and emotional lately i just keep bursting into tears when#i go to join the call#ive been putting it off rescheduling all day bc my work schedule sucks and itll b at least a week#until we could (potentially if ppl r available) call again and my bday is friday so im like hhhh#but i dont have the energy to mask and pretend to b happy#but alternatly i dont want to b what is supposed to b a celebration For me b a downer bc im sad and crying#iit sucks too bc part of my struggle lately has been loneliness but now i dont even have the energy to call w friends (something that wiuld#like. help with that :’)#and i feel so embarassed and ashamed that i cant just ‘push thru it’#especially bc only one of these ppl knows im autistic and im too scared to bring it up to anyone else#and too embarassed to ask for accomodations in a friend group#ive been struggling sm lately w this recent need for mkre support and accomodations and not mnowing where/how to impliment them and have#ppl take me seriously#update i called it off after crying AGAIN when trying to get myself in the call and i feel zero relief#feels like a rock on my chest
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