#and theres still time but is there? is there really?

[mediumcutsteak]

Its really really sad. I'm in English Education and the amount of people using AI to write papers or summarize the texts that theyre supposed to read is like full blown nihilism. I'm admittedly not the most well-read person and I will fully admit that, and life is hard and time is low, but at least I'm out here making an effort to READ like the English Major I'm supposed to be.

Meanwhile, My professors have been sort of... Mixed about ai i guess? Because we're being trained to like, grade papers and shit theyve had us use GenAI to like, compare output to our own work so we can recognize it better, which I think is fair game considering the field even if it still sucks. Then some of them will be like "use magic school ai to throw together quick layouts for worksheets and stuff" which is like... I mean I dont want to make or purchase the worksheets either but i dont know that its worth using the 'kill earth button' to generate a bunch of boxes on a document. They try to be hawkish about AI use to generate a whole paper but kids still use it to outline and shit. It really sucks.

We just did a whole unit in my Teaching Shakespeare class about AI output in relation to our reading of Hamlet, everyone agreed that the AI output was substandard and shallow (its better than I thought it would be I'll admit, but it still wrote like a D grade paper, which is really fuckin unimpressive considering its writing about a massively influential, thoroughly discussed text thats like 400 years old or whatever and it still couldnt outpace the handwritten essays we had to throw together in 40 minutes by hand with no computers or books or anything to cite from so we could compare them, in OKLAHOMA of all education systems). Despite this, theres at LEAST one guy in my class who STILL insists on using AI at every available turn despite LITERALLY BEING MADE TO SEE THAT ITS QUALITY IS SUBSTANDARD.

And this is in the education field. Sorry ya'll but if we can't get some major legislation on this shit yesterday, or if the AI doesn't reach a noticeable slop singularity soon, this planet is cooked. Not nation, planet. Literally and intellectually.

ur future nurse is using chapgpt to glide thru school u better take care of urself

[gothwizardmagic]

god ok also gotta say as a choreographer, whoever did the superbowl choreo was a fucking GENIUS like. it manages to be so effective without ever being flashy or complicated & like. flashy & complicated are great but to do the basics this effectively is PHENOMENAL. the repeated motifs are so striking and so strong and so CLEAR in their meaning its PAINFULLY effective - the contrast of more relaxed dancers just vibin and having a good time at the beginning & end, when its just people being themselves vs. "what america wants" - disquieting, emotionless, rigid lines of soldiers throwing salutes while kendrick & sza are singing on stage in the middle, keeping the people entertained & distracted as the goose-stepping dancers circle like sharks

and thats not to even mention the SCALE - working with such crisp colour lines in such an ENORMOUS group is staggering to even fathom like. making sure all the reds are in the right place at the right time & you dont have someone who was a blue in one section but accidentally wound up in the white group somewhere in the shuffle....... the formations are UNBELIEVABLY complex & span such an enormous space, its mind blowing to think about. over a hundred dancers. over a HUNDRED people to keep track of at all times to make sure they're getting from one place to another in the right way at the right times in the right formations. over a HUNDRED.

the dancers executed FLAWLESSLY too - taking big steps and remaining PERFECTLY in line is incredibly hard & they made it look effortless. the amount of split-second transitions to nail and vibe-shifts to hit.... oh my god. also shot to the camerapeople who were working their asses off on those transitions just as much as kendrick & the dancers were

also thinking of scale like... arena choreography and stage/film choreography are VERY different things. on a stage or in a music video etc. you have ONE front. at most on a big stage the audience might wrap slightly around the sides but generally speaking, you're choreographing for the people or camera in front of you, and they're gonna have a pretty good view of your face the whole time. arenas are MASSIVE, and there are people on ALL SIDES. you can't pick A Front, you have to be entertaining people all around you simultaneously, which means completely rethinking how things are structured. you also can't rely on detail nearly as much, because the audience is Really far away. even if there are screens, you want to make sure that there's something to look at on the stage itself, so the audience doesn't feel like they're just watching a music video. it's still a live show & you want it to feel like one

so theres a balance to strike between giving the individual artist focus & acknowledging that they literally... can't face every direction at once. even if kendrick is facing away, there are always dancers doing something that'll be visually striking at a distance for the audience to enjoy. but at the same time because there ARE cameras, it also has to work for video & HAVE those detailed up-close elements, so the footage doesn't just look like a guy bopping around with people walking past him for the whole time. the most effective example i can think of is in peekaboo - the groups of white-clothed dancers in the X is visually strong from a distance - even if you can't see exactly what's going on, it's an interesting visual, whereas up close you have the strong music video feel of kendrick popping up out of nowhere; of all these different up close groups of dancers giving their full performance directly to one front while that front is rotating from one group to another, as opposed to the multiple surrounding fronts on the main stage. it transitions from an arena show to a music video (and then back when he walks out onto the main stage with that trail of dancers so the visual is most effective from above rather than up close) SO EFFORTLESSLY and makes absolutely brilliant use of the space

this is literally jsut stream of consciousness it could definitely all be phrased better & honestly i could keep talking for a Long time like i didnt even get in depth abt the use of colour in the costuming & the way every costume is slightly unique in the up close shots but when you pan out to the stadium they become lines of clones like. god i could go on!!!! i coudl go on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its a masterpiece choreographically fr its elegant its communicative its mindbogglingly complex ive watched it five times now trying to absorb as much as i can

[opal-owl-flight]

John. John Splatoon. The man, the goofball the sweetest man youll see. Chatty, bubbly, and gives really good team morale.

But things arent all sweet.

I wonder if he shuts himself up when he feels hes being *too* jolly.

His family is kind. Its not their fault. Yknow how people are fucking mean to those who are very excited abt things.

I think he had an experience like that. Tanara was thankfully there when things started getting really bad.

John was made fun of when he first started turfing. He was just sooo excited abt it all. So enthusiastic!! He studied abt the greats, the top players, all that. And the bitchass mean kids thought itd be funny to crush his dreams.

They made fun of him when he rambles abt strategy. They mocked him whenever he tries to be a hero and gets fucking splatted for it (OH GEE, IF HIS TEAMMATES WERE ACTUALLY *HELPING* HIM HE WOULDNT HAVE GOTTEN GOT).

One time I think some bastard jammed his weapon so it was unusuable for a while, and he was unable to turf.

"Good riddance," the team had said. "That beak is finally quiet for once."

Tanara saw this happening and decided to stand up for him.

They saw this boy getting picked on, and didnt hesitate in open firing at the bastards. Didnt care if theyll get banned for a week for firing a weapon off the field.

"|Hey, are you the guy who cornered me in the last match? Color me impressed.|"

Tanara doesnt stand for bullies. Ever. They hate seeing these kinds of people in the leagues. They hate the fact that these nutjobs are so good at the game!!! they want to make the leagues a fun place for everyone. None of this fuckinh bullshit. From a young age theyve already defended others. Wanted to make a better world where everyone can just be who they wanted to be, grow into their best selves.

The orange squid was a big help. With them actually recognizing his talent and running by his side,,,

They made him believe in himself. Fuck what everyone else says.

"|We won because of your strategy,|" they sign. "|If it werent for you, we'd have lost the tournament.|"

And hes given a smile of encouragement. Oh, sweet understanding, sweet recognition.

For a tender year they and John built a strong team and friendship. John became this cheery man bc of them.

They helped him stand up for himself. Helped him in the art of not giving a fuck. Or raining retribution where it is applicable (the duo have sent bullies crying after giving fjem say -- a 20 second rainmaker match)

Whenever someone tries to make fun of him in the later years, or now -- even if Tanara is out of the picture bc theyre getting blended -- he will literally ignore the naysayers. Bc he knows. He knows Tanara believes in him. He knows his team believes in him. He knows many others do, as well.

He knows his own capabilities. He knows what his limits. And hes. God, theres a reason hes second in command. Hes smart about the sport. Hes scary on the field. Dont let the goofy attitude fool you. Hes having fun but you on enemy team wont!

Some people are recently saying that Tanara left their old team bc John was lagging too far behind them, that Ink Typh∞n is the natural next step for them.

Dead wrong dipshits. If anything, those two are eye to eye.

If Tanara wasnt forced to retire, theyf still be fighting by his side.

-----------

Ofc its not all perfect. He still shuts down sometimes. Shuts himself up if he gets scared of offending someone/in general.

If he doesnt get reassurance or proves to himself/his naysayers of his own capabilities, he starts going quiet, smiling less.

Those wounds still hurt, Im afraid....

-----------

And what about after Octo Expansion.

What was going through his mind?

Like....this is your best friend. The one who helped you become the man you are. They were your role model. Theyre so strong, so assured. Confident. Ruthless on the turf. So skilled that nothing can faze them. Believed in you like no one else did.

And youre watching them seem to get worse day by day.

Theyre closing up. Theyre not telling you anything. You reach out but they dismiss you. And their colors only get more desaturated with time. They still believe in you, but its clear that theres something bothering them.

You try to share your joy with them, talking about the things you liked. Like old times. It turns out however, that the character you idolized in the media you consume, is them.

And it explains everything.

An entire secret double life and they didnt tell you.

You were their best friend. They were by your side when you struggled to make it in this city. They gave you assurance when your confidence started to fail.

They were your hero.

Where were you then, when they needed one themself?

They slump into John's arms,,

Theyre only older than him by a year. but they feel so,,

They feel so frail. A shadow of how they used to be. A body broken by war, a mind and heart ravaged by worry and vigilance and the weight of the world on their shoulders.

They tell him that they dont want him to take this load. They tell him he doesnt deserve it.

He says he has no plans of getting into this, not directly. He just wants them to come back to him after duty, or allow him to help in any way he can.

He'll just wait by the door, like he always has.

And hes holding them. He wants to keep them there til everything becomes okay again.

[ace-shenanigans]

Thinkin about another sj-centric scum villain au...

Thinking about a pre-binghe sqq, tired of always being under constant scrutiny and over feeling unsafe and ostracized despite all his efforts, deciding to leave cqms to track down an artifact rumored to allow someone the power to basically alter reality to an extent. He tells no one where hes going because soon its not going to matter anyway.

Thinking about him finding and using the artifact to remove himself from history, erasing everyone's memory of him until he is no more than a ghost haunting the narrative. Shen Qingqiu, and by extension Shen Jiu, has never existed.

Thinking about the consequences of this action... Sure he' achieved a true blank slate, free to walk around as he pleases, be whoever he wants to be rather than pretend to appease the small minds of others, but his newfound anonymity comes at a cost.

The brothel jiejie's at the warm red pavilion still greet him as an old friend, but they no longer know him. They do not remember him, his struggles, his achievements even as he remembers all of theirs. What was once a safe haven now feels fake; to them he's just another man paying for a service. He no longer visits the warm red pavilion.

He'll never get his answers from Yue Qingyuan. He'll never know why the other abandoned him, nor why he refused to explain himself to Shen Qingqiu. He'll get over it he tells himself, he'd already accepted Yue Qi's death many years ago, and Yue Qingyuan is just another one of them anyways. He doesn't get over it.

Of course the artifact has its limits, and so those with the closest connections to Shen Qingqiu are left feeling strangely like they're missing something, something just on the tip of their tongue that they can taste but not name. Yue Qingyuan especially is left in a constant state of confusion and loss, missing something he cant place, unable to even remember the reason why he made many of the choices he did. On his desk sits an ornate fan with a crane painted on it that hed purchase for... odd, he couldnt remember why he'd bought the item, or why it made him feel so sad.

Liu Qingge too is left feeling somewhat off kilter for no apparent reason, his eyes drifting towards the bamboo groves of Qing Jing peak every so often for reasons he cant name. He's able to shrug it off for the most part, too focused on his own training to really pay it much mind, but theres always a sense of... wrongness? Frustration?- that settles in his chest whenever he spars with others, like they cant match him the way... the way what? He can't remember the last time he sparred with someone who could keep up with him, but he can almost picture the occasional flash of green, a hidden blade, leaves sharpened by qi with deadly accuracy....

[vonbabbitt]

i found the chiba loredrop i sent to my staff thirty years ago. enjoy

CHIBA!!!! so chiba was born in a pretty broke family as an only child. she was always a super peppy kid with a lot of energy and so she made friends pretty easily and generally had a good time. she got along with her dad but he wasnt super involved, mostly the type that sees child-rearing as a woman's job and left most of the work to chiba's mom while he did Guy Stuff like drink and watch tv and go to work and sometimes chat with his daughter! chibas mom was also very old-fashioned so she didnt mind because she had pretty much the same mindset! so she'd do the cooking and cleaning and raising chiba while her dad would just kinda go to work and hang around. they were mad broke. neither of her parents were SUPER affectionate towards her and her mom was a bit more focused with making sure she stayed out of trouble than making sure she was happy, so while she was allowed to go run around and be a kid, she wasnt really allowed to do anything that would get her super dirty or disturb her parents

when chiba was about four, her mom got this idea in her head that she would be a fantastic child actor (and it would also pull their family out of debt which would be great!) so she starts taking chiba to auditions and local theatre and trying to get her an agent and such and such. chibas not really into acting but she likes meeting all the new people and she likes playing pretend so she really doesnt mind! except soon the push for chiba to act starts working and she starts getting cast in stuff. shes cute and extroverted and energetic so of course shed be good in an instant noodle commercial or whatever tf. the point is that she starts getting work and starts appearing on tv! her family starts making a bit of money and her mom starts pushing HARD to get her into bigger roles. this means that she also starts getting a lot stricter. chiba gets pulled out of school because theres no time for school when she has to be on set. tutours only. her mom starts making sure she's always dressed well and her hair is always neat and shes always clean and tidy and most importantly, always smiling! because its cute and makes her look approachable and pleasant to work with!

so by the time chiba is six, the push is going well. shes getting minor roles in random shows here and there, usually as an extra or minor character, nothing super massive but its definitely something. shes honestly kind of over the whole thing by now though. she misses being at school and seeing her friends. she misses getting to go out and play whenever she wants. she does not really like acting! but money is coming in fast and offers are coming in fast and her mom is not ready to lose the good life quite yet. her dad doesnt really notice or care cuz hes not that involved. but chiba is starting to burn out and its starting to show in her performance. her mom does basically everything she can think of - shes taking her to extra acting classes, shes trying to bribe her with toys and gifts, shes scolding her for not being upbeat enough - nothing is really working for her, sooooooo

at age seven, chibas mom puts her on caffeine pills! its fine cuz theyre only caffeine its not like its meth or anything.......is chibas moms defence. but chiba starts taking caffeine pills to boost her performance and now shes back in action. shes usually pretty exhausted but the important part is that shes awake and shes peppy and shes acting. huzzah!

so chiba is getting more and more popular and shes ending up on a lot of TV shows, usually shows aimed at other kids, which she thinks is neat because its almost like shes talking to other kids again but not really but still! so shes doing a lot of television and her family is making BIG money now. they move to a very nice place in kyoto on chiba's dime and from there her career is allowed to REALLY skyrocket because shes basically living in the media capitol now. shes on set constantly, her face is everywhere and shes hustling hard. its around age nine that chiba starts getting a bit bigger (because. yknow, age) and her mom does not love that. if chibas entire appeal is that shes a little angel baby girl, how can she get bigger? shes gotta stay small! so this is where chibas mom has a super brilliant idea: chiba should start smoking! nicotine is an appetite suppressant and chiba needs to keep thin, so smoking it is! chiba ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATES IT, which she expresses, but then her mom cries and starts going on about how horrible of a mother she is and chiba feels bad so THE SMOKING BEGINS.

when chiba gets to be about twelve, her career is in full swing and shes picked up her first regular sitcom role as a lead, which is huge news. her family is ROLLING in money now and theres no way theyre ever going to give that up so shes basically locked into the industry for life. the only problem is that......shes twelve! so now puberty begins! chiba realizes her body is starting to change and FLIPS THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE SHE NEEDS TO LOOK LIKE A KID FOREVER THATS HER ENTIRE APPEAL IN THE INDUSTRY. sooooooo

chiba starts taking diet pills! now on a steady diet of diet pills, caffeine and cigarettes, you can probably imagine that chibas doing just fkin fantastic! shes a good actor of course, so very little of this ever goes noticed by anyone, because she does a very good job of appearing cheerful and peppy and healthy! but the fact is that shes horribly, HORRIBLY malnourished and exhausted and suffering from a lot of physical and mental health problems. however, shes making a LOT of money, so her mom just keeps encouraging her to keep going and telling her how happy their family is now that they have money and crying every time chiba talks about wanting to quit until chiba feels guilty and backs down. huzzah!

chiba is basically dead inside by this point. she just feels empty and sad and hungry all the time. this is when she starts realizing that the world she gets to live in on her sitcom - happy mom, happy dad, two big brothers who love her, funny plots and family love and yadda yadda - is a lot more appealing than her actual life! so if she could just be that character in that world forever, wouldnt that be awesome? so thats basically what she does! chiba starts just kinda playing pretend all the time. shes a little girl! life is good as a little girl! shes happy as a little girl! nothing bad or scary ever happens to her on tv, so if she can be that person from tv, nothing bad or scary will ever happen to her in real life either! all those insecurities she has about her body? her huge huge fear of ever appearing adult or being looked at in an adult way? no problem! shes a little girl!

+5 years and then shes in the killing game

[maeemono]

School is boring so I did this :3

[ninjasmudge]

How do you draw horns?! I love the way you draw them but just cant figure it out

i like to imagine them as an angular block bc it helps me figure out where it should go because i like chunky horns

im man enough to admit my horns are usually kinda wonky dkdjddj but it doesnt really matter that much on sketchy stuff, as long as youve got the basic shapes right.

other things id say is that its helpful to sketch out the whole horn on the sketch layer if you use one, to see where they connect to the skull and if its symmetrical there.

if you have a character at pretty much any angle other than facing forward, i find theres going to be a different angle on both horns. on my lamb its more obvious, but even on goat there you can see the curve of her horns is slightly different to account for the angle

and honestly this is the most generic advice but just... draw them over and over, when i started drawing lamb like a year ish ago, their horns were still curly but they looked totally different, i just slowly morphed them into a stlye i liked more after drawing them so many times lmao

good luck to you !!

(and dude, if anyone wants to add on other advice id be happy to hear maybe youd help me improve too)

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

The way that there genuinely is just a lot of kids who turn a certain age and become little assholes makes it so much worse. Like Bruce is like "kids just become haters sometimes chum, don't take it personally" meanwhile Tim just lost everything

No but seriously- coming from a big family watching dozens of kids grow up, theres always this "switch" moment growing up- or well two.

The first being when a kid first really becomes "sentient" you start to see who they are, even if just loose bits and pieces, the outline of a sense of identity.

The second? They're a full person and now the full consequence (for better or worse) how they've been raised. A solid identity has been formed.

Like after that second switch you're constantly changing and growing but never again as DARASTIC a change in such a short period of time from what ive noticed.

AND Y E A H- though that lecture was more towards Jason for other reasons, its still a version of "reality" Bruce tried to explain to his kids. Of course is he right? In this case no. But detective is not synonymis with omnipotent.

[vagueiish]

turns out i am a special little snowflake and nobody has ever felt the way i have and nobody can relate and im just. gonna be alone and shitty and garbage forever

[shanklin]

Sentient Mystery Shack, who is really biased towards Stan, so when Ford tells Stan he has to give it back after the summer it’s on sight.

Ford keeps tripping over nothing, nothing is where it's supposed to be and somehow he keeps running into closets when he tries to go outside.

But the worst part, the WORST part is that Ford's lightbulb just won't. Work. No matter what he does it keeps flickering and exploding.

Ford is spiraling. 

There is no reason why it shoudln’t work. All his trial runs work perfectly. He’s already checked the Shacks wiring three times and relearned this dimensions science from the ground up. 

Nothing works.

The Rift? Bill? The impending apocalypse? Eating? Sleep? Who cares about that. 

WHY. WONT. THE. LIGHTBULB. WORK???

It doesn’t help that Stan keeps laughing at him.

“Then you do it!” Ford eventually snaps at Stan.

Stan shrugs and with a little song under his breath screws his own lightbulb in. It works perfectly.

Stanford screams.

[cookiestar360]

I've been mentally alive for like

3 months now?

I don't understand who would want you to let go after 15 years.

I can't imagine doing anything for 15 years actually. Even just living considering I've died so many times already.

Although I can assure you the facility is probably better than you think

Your own free room that you can customize to your personal liking, a massive building with outdoor areas and a kitchen and the best medical care ever

Theres like every hobby ever that can be practiced there too

Seems more like a retirement home to me ehehhehehh : p

I.. can't imagine that the pain you've been going through isn't more horrifying.

...

Even if you don't ever go, you could always ask someone for help. Just, I'm too pathetic to help you with any of that.

You don't have to solve your problems alone

Because someone out there cares for ya

I can't say I really believe you in you being fine though.

I mean there's a voice in my head screaming that you aren't fine still

RP STARTER!

(TW - SUICIDE ATTEMPT)

Gabriel ran in the darkness of the night. He wore a traditional vestment, the black robe making it hard to spot him. He stormed into the church as quickly and as quietly as he could, not wanting to be noticed. He ran over to the podium in the center, and quickly dumped out a dozen pack of clear vials, and a needle. His plan was quick and clean, nobody else there to disturb him. And as swiftly as he accomplished the other things, he pulled out a photo of Artemis from his pocket, his last prayer soon to be given.

... --- ...

But a noise disrupted his plan, and looking up he saw...

[infernal-lamb]

The Lamb Slaying Death Incarnate

(Part of a larger comic....but I sort of like this panel a lot on its own!)

[liquidstar]

adventure time lore is insane. it starts off just being a goofy kids show that has magic for no reason, but then you learn that all magic users are manic and/or depressed (what betty calls sadness and madness). because it turns out magic is actually a cosmic force beyond mortal comprehension, that itself was learned from cosmic entities that predated the existence of time itself inside a sea of monsters. and "magic" really is just understanding more about the nature of the universe than most people. that, in a way, reality isnt "real" and understanding that allows you to mold it. and thats magic. but that drives you to insanity and/or apathy. and there are beings who hold significant cosmic importance who are more prone to magic. and the reason magic became prevalent on earth is because of a nuclear war a thousand years ago, which released the entity that represents the destruction of all life onto the world. and after a nuclear apocalypse this gave way to a new earth, where magic could thrive. but a lot of the beings we see arent even magical, theyre just mutants from what happened 1000 years ago. and humanity as we know it has been all but wiped out. but everything stays the same because cycles of war and violence continue. and it doesnt matter if its nukes or magic. everything stays the same, but still changes.

[raynetheinsane]

The Titans tower attack and everything plays out the same except Jason hits his throat just slightly differently causing Tim to lose use of his vocal chords and go fully mute

Luckily, sign language was already slowly being learned in the manor due to Cass struggling to speak some days, so he already knew basic phrases

the major issue with his newfound mutism is using the comms

the comms are entirely functioning by voice, and without one, youre kinda screwed

Tim attempts to go out with no comms a couple times which makes Bruce very mad so he has to come up with another solution, he ends up installing a camera and chip into his domino so that the camera can pick up his hands and the chip can interpret them and read rhem out to the comms

one day while tim is out as Robin, he ends up confronting the red hood

tim is obviously silent, but instead of Jason noticing this, he chooses to almost tease Tim about it, not knowing the extent of the damage he caused, “what? too scared to even say anything to me now?”

its not until Jason starts to rejoin the family that he learns what happened to Tim that night

[intersexwiki]

copying what is below the cut for archival purposes

"wanted to figure out both medical and gender stuff but medical was more pressing so i picked that one"

"never thought of myself as intersex until PCOS fucked my whole hormone cycle up. Now it feels weird not to say im intersex"

"medical issues and gender stuff i guess. I had stuff like slightly too early and too intense puberty and i was like. There is no way that this is normal theres gotta be something to explain this. And then after some time i found out there are hormonal intersex variations that do that stuff. Now to just get myself to accept that im still intersex on hrt 🙃"

"It was very complicated for me because for years I had a feeling that Something wasn't right. And I didn't technically have a period of questioning but I always did feel weird calling myself perisex bc I just felt Something was wrong. And then. Almost 2 years ago now. I was told by my parents that I had my chromosomes tested as a toddler. And I had triple X. They didn't seem to think it was a big deal or anything and so just never thought to tell me?. And then I had a brief questioning period on whether that counted as intersex but within a couple of days came to terms w it"

"Picking only one was tricky for me because the medical trauma and the gender stuff have been so deeply linked for me. [...] I didn't really seriously consider [questioning] until my mid-20s once I had access to therapy for the first time in my life ... At first in therapy the issues of medical trauma and of figuring out my gender were treated as though they were parallel issues but the more we explored them the more evident it was they were linked. When I went through hyperandrogen puberty it felt normal and appropriate, and everything my mom and doctors did to force my body into a female presentation was both traumatic and a source of gender dysphoria. [...] Figuring out I was intersex connected all the dots."

"Other. Wanted to know why people kept being confused by or shocked by my genitals. which honestly answered itself but then i wanted a more in depth medical answer Just In Case (like since i have ovotestis i am at risk of ovarian AND testicular cancer)"

💛💜💛

On intersex questioning

I recently put up a poll asking people what motivated them to question if they were intersex. Partly to know how "typical" I am. But also because I'm curious if people who are currently questioning their intersex status are noticeably different from those of us who already identify as intersex.

And I gotta say, the spread of responses look pretty similar!

Most of the asks I see on tumblr tend to be framed in medical terms. Personally, I was motivated more by social/psychological reasons (figuring out who I am and wanting to not feel like a lone freak). Turns out people like me are in the minority but we're hardly alone.

I honestly wonder how much of the medical asks are really about other things like belonging or gender but those reasons don't seem "valid" enough.

I wanna share the replies and reblogs because I would have found them useful to read back when I was questioning if I was intersex. I have lightly edited them for readability (if you wrote one and want to be quoted by username DM me!) To see the original comments go to the original post. Replies from intersex people "I went through several years of being confused about how I felt trans fem but also was afab. The day I was diagnosed with PCOS I searched it in Tumblr and found out it fell under the intersex umbrella and I accepted that identity for myself immediately. Intersex was never a question for me, it was the answer I had been looking for." "Multiple of the above! Mislabeled trauma and ignored medical issues made more sense after finding out, and a more general discomfort with how I look lessened after finding out, oh i look like this because of that and i look like that down there because of what they did to me"

"wanted to figure out both medical and gender stuff but medical was more pressing so i picked that one"

"never thought of myself as intersex until PCOS fucked my whole hormone cycle up. Now it feels weird not to say im intersex"

"medical issues and gender stuff i guess. I had stuff like slightly too early and too intense puberty and i was like. There is no way that this is normal theres gotta be something to explain this. And then after some time i found out there are hormonal intersex variations that do that stuff. Now to just get myself to accept that im still intersex on hrt 🙃"

"It was very complicated for me because for years I had a feeling that Something wasn't right. And I didn't technically have a period of questioning but I always did feel weird calling myself perisex bc I just felt Something was wrong. And then. Almost 2 years ago now. I was told by my parents that I had my chromosomes tested as a toddler. And I had triple X. They didn't seem to think it was a big deal or anything and so just never thought to tell me?. And then I had a brief questioning period on whether that counted as intersex but within a couple of days came to terms w it"

"Picking only one was tricky for me because the medical trauma and the gender stuff have been so deeply linked for me. [...] I didn't really seriously consider [questioning] until my mid-20s once I had access to therapy for the first time in my life ... At first in therapy the issues of medical trauma and of figuring out my gender were treated as though they were parallel issues but the more we explored them the more evident it was they were linked. When I went through hyperandrogen puberty it felt normal and appropriate, and everything my mom and doctors did to force my body into a female presentation was both traumatic and a source of gender dysphoria. [...] Figuring out I was intersex connected all the dots."

"Other. Wanted to know why people kept being confused by or shocked by my genitals. which honestly answered itself but then i wanted a more in depth medical answer Just In Case (like since i have ovotestis i am at risk of ovarian AND testicular cancer)"

💛💜💛

[biblically-accurate-dca]

painting test with a limited color palette

here's the moon equivalent!